#fem gay term

[mr-weirdo-mcgee]

Elf/Elf pretty:

(again two definitions)

For elf kins/(and for anyone with an elf gender, I haven't seen anything about elf gender though) or like elf pretty.

Like the fem gays that go with fairy, this is more darker, green/brown and/or grunge, a noticeable difference then fairy. Or elf's are more noticeable androgynous term to fairy's, maybe a touch of fem in their own way.

(targeted towards elfkins (otherkins) elf gender (xenogender) similar to fem gays but more grunge, brown and green. (Fem gays))

[retributory]

kind of irritates me a little bit when people act like it's weird or wrong or ooc for sy to have internalized homophobia as if that isn't probably the most realistic thing about the plot to begin with. he's a chinese man who grew up in the late 90s - early 00s and spent all his time online i would be frankly more surprised if he had ZERO hangups about being gay. this is explicitly presented as a character flaw so i'm not sure why people act like mxtx is homophobic for writing a guy with internalized homophobia. also he like gets over it in volume 4 anyways you gotta give him some time dude he died like 3 times and he keeps getting force-fed blood he's got a lot on his plate

[pharawee]

A few notes on Pat and Chot's conversation:

🔹Ke (เกย์) is a neutral expression that is the phonetic adaptation of the English word gay.

🔹Tut (ตุ๊ด) is a vulgar and pejorative expression used to refer to a very effeminate homosexual man and can have multiple translations, as sissy, queen, [or in this case: tootsie] etc. 

🔹Je (เจ๊) is a Thai honorific from 姐 for “elder sister”. Chot uses it to refer to himself. Pat later uses it to address Chot.

🔹krap/kha (ครับ / ค่ะ) are gender-oriented particles. Chot uses the traditionally female particle for himself.

🌈Sources: LGTBIQ+ Enciclopaedia, Thaipod101

[deconstructthesoup]

I love how we've all agreed on the name "Edith" for fem!Edwin

[homosexualcitron]

how about you look at them because they are very cute

[genderqueerdykes]

my wife didn't realize there is a precedent for gay men using butch/femme or lesbians using masc/fem, and I was wondering if you had any sources that show how long these terms have been used by both communities to describe their complicated relationships with gender. thank you!

hello there!

i've asked around for some resources on this and unfortunately, it's difficult to find anything that counts as a traditional source other than pointing toward novels written by people who lived during those times using those terms. if anyone has any concrete sources like books or anything like that, feel free to let us know!

the terms "femme" and "butch" were historically used to mean "queer femininity" and "queer masculinity", "femme" encompassed feminine lesbians, feminine gay men, drag queens, transfems and more, "butch" encompassed gay bears, masculine lesbians, transmascs and more! this can be seen in leslie feinberg's writings, especially stone butch blues.

there's definitely nothing barring a lesbian from using masc or fem instead of butch or femme, as other communities have their own terms for these things. lesbians of color have different cultural terms that are used, so it makes sense to have your own terms. there are no rules stating that lesbians must be butch or femme, so do what this information what you will! the queer community has always been about pushing boundaries and defining ourselves as individuals!

take care! hope that makes sense! good luck to both of you!

[knifeslidez]

the queer community rn (at least in my experience) kind of feels comparable to a clique-filled cafeteria. perpetual "well you have x trait/identity so you can't sit with us" from all sides

[semiconducting]

ik its not most ppl but there are ppl in the td fandom who are SO nasty about rajbow like idc if you dont like them specifically but being all "ugh the stereotypical uwu boring gays, why did they do that they should have done literally anything else" is uh, yk. homophobic

[mr-weirdo-mcgee]

Fairy:

(I think I can do two meanings)

Being fairy gender/kin and being light and sparkly like fairy. Mostly it there.

2: like bear gays, for fem gays who are like fairies, instead of a twink. Or reclaiming people saying "fairy" to feminine gays, etc.

(targeted towards otherkins [fairykin] xenoic people/people with Xenogenders [fairygender] feminine gays/fem gays that like the term fairy better then Twink, femboy or could be both)

[phil-lestifer]

Hi hi! Just popping in to say no feminine terms pls! I'm a binary trans guy!!

[mygenderisstillblurry]

How did I even end up here???

I think I truly failed myself. I fucked up somewhere along the line. I'm nothing like other trans men, I'm nothing like other detrans women. I see a lot a lot of detransitioned women who are more masculine, who are butch, who feel disconnected from feminine roles and stereotypes. I see a lot a lot of trans men who talk about how they had debilitating, life-threatening dysphoria and were suicidal and medical transitioned saved their lives.

I am none of that. I am not a "masculine" person, not to the the people who really know me, not to myself. Based on fashion preferences and activity enjoyments and such alone, I am a pastel crafty bathbomb plushie girlypop whatever-the-hell people are trying to sell as a personality these days. I'm not "one of the guys", I'm never "one of the guys", if I was able to both perfectly pass and freely express myself I'd be a fem gay man. I am none of those things either. So how did I end up here?? What even was it that first caused me to think I'd fit better as a man? All those years ago as a preteen when I first learned about FTM transition and was like "Maybe I...no, couldn't be me", what was going through my head? Was the desire to be a man always just physical, despite the lack of desire for a penis? Was it based on a desire to run away from the feminine stereotypes that clearly fit me, and be "not like other girls"? Did I just want to be something of my own making, some personal concoction that no one had ever created before and no one could conceive of categorizing? I just don't know. I have such severe memory issues that I can't even get in touch with that version of me or pre-transition me or even mid-transition me to try to understand. I don't know if I'm a man or a woman or how transition is meant to impact anything. I'm just somebody who wants to wear floral skirts and make jewelry and never ever spare a thought to gender again.

[honeyedheartss]

trapped in my endless cycle of books about groups of boys who are way too close and violent to each other but would kill for each other and stand for them at all odds

and it's.... lays on the ground... I am mostly comfortable in my gender presentation about half the time but.... I want to be loved by a boy the way boys love boys not in a het or even t4t way....

do u all know what I mean..

[sad-endings-suck]

“I see Karlach and Astarion as having such a sibling dynamic.” 😝😃

“Karlach and Astarion are f/f and m/m solidarity!” 🥰🤪🤗

They both talk to each other, other companions, and the player character about being attracted to each other. Y’all are weird wtf.

Nothing annoys me more than people “jokingly” calling Astarion gay or Karlach a lesbian. Like… ya’ll consider yourselves to be the “progressive” demographic, and yet you still cannot understand basic queer stereotypes and how they are evidently rooted in hetero-normativity and not “queer culture”.

“The tall muscular woman must be a lesbian for no reason other than her physical appearance and the over-dramatic pretty man must be gay because how could he be frivolous and also like women? Only big strong stoic men can be attracted to women.”

Y’all hear how that sounds, right?

[genderqueerdykes]

fun fact of the day: anyone who tells you that "femme" and "butch" can only be used by lesbians took the terf pills- white cis lesbian separationists (terfs) are the ones behind the idea that only lesbians can use butch and femme when many lesbians of color have their own terms for masc and fem lesbians. this is also an effort to erase the history the terms butch and femme have had in including trans and gnc people, drag performers, bears, masc and fem gays into their preferred gender expression and community spaces. it's a historically inaccurate argument. have a good day!

[oarfishing]

Alright, I'm sick of seeing TERFisms on my dash, so here's a handy list of TERF dogwhistles and talking points to think about before you reblog a post.

I've seen a few of these before, but it doesn't hurt to make more. Especially when we're seeing a lot of radfem rhetoric popping up in LGBT spaces from people who might not know better.

SCREENNAMES: these are terms that commonly appear in radfem usernames across the web

rad or radical

fem or femme

vulva, clit, uterus, womb, ovary, vagina, etc.

febfem

anything along the lines of "angry woman"

xx or chromosomes

wombyn, wimmin, womyn, etc.

LGB

feminist

BIOS: things that show up in radfem bios

♀ or ⚢

febfem

female separatist

female, human female, adult human female

xx

something along the lines of "the scary feminist you were warned about"; being an angry woman, being sick of being silenced, being an evil woman, being an angry lesbian

detrans (NOTE: detrans people are absolutely not always transphobic)

dysphoric female

males/men do not interact

LGB✂️

misandrist

feminist (NOTE: again, very few feminists are actually terfs, but this is commonly in terf bios alongside some of these other terms)

TERMS: terms that radfems use in their circles

TIM - trans-identified male, a way of saying transfems, trans women, and other trans people

TIF - trans-identified female, same as above but the other way around, less commonly seen

DSD - disorder of sexual development, a way to avoid saying intersex and to categorize intersex people as "still male or female" (you might see "males with DSD" or "females with DSD" for example)

females or males instead of women and men

alternatively, women and males to dehumanize men

"peaking" or "peaked" - referring to becoming radicalized as a radfem or TERF

womyn, wombyn, wimmin, wo**n, and any other spelling that takes "man" out of the term woman

mentally ill men/women

sex-based oppression

gender critical

"TIRF" - trans-inclusive radical feminist (don't be fooled by the name, they're very much not)

TRA - trans rights activist, derogatory

sex-based rights

female separatism/"women's land"

WBW - womyn-born womyn

autistic girls/children

troon - (ridiculous) slur for trans people

RHETORIC: general ideological themes in radfem rhetoric

men are inherently more violent than women

women don't or rarely rape men

(woman on woman rape is ignored by almost all radfems)

being nonbinary is a way to "stop being" your assigned sex while still acting as your birth sex

lesbians are not attracted to men/penises and can never have sex with men/penises (otherwise, you're bisexual)

men can and will never be lesbians

there is no such thing as a bi lesbian, only lesbians and bisexuals. labels are rigid and sex-based

all of the world's suffering is driven by men

women would be better off separate

an all-female society is utopia

sex is binary, and intersex people are "glitches" or "still male or female but DisorderedTM"

men should expect to be feared by women

female/female relationships are safer and more pure than straight or gay male relationships

men and women are more different than similar

intersex people should not be allowed in sports

intersex people and trans men are never in men's sports

terrible world events wouldn't have happened if women were in charge

men are stupid and aggressive

being a man is not a positive thing

men's problems are lesser than women's

penises are disgusting and vaginas and vulvas are beautiful

trans women are performing at being girls

trans men see themselves as above lesbians

attraction is sex-based

porn is rape

porn is inherently violent

watching porn makes you predisposed to inflicting abuse

BDSM is inherently violent and misogynistic

transitioning children (whether socially or medically) are being abused

"bitch" and "cunt" are slurs against women

only gay men can say faggot and only lesbian women can say dyke

When you see a few or more of these together, RUN! It's a terf.

[seesboy]

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