#feeling heartbroken lately

[sapphicslut777]

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[kaynineacademy]

i wake up with things to tell you. i fall asleep wondering what you’re doing, if you’re alright, if you’ve eaten, if you’re getting enough sleep. during the day i think about asking you to tell me your biggest regret, the dreams you left behind, the people you still wonder about. i never got to ask you if i am one of them.

[paperglader]

they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr

[thoughtsthatstayedwithme]

Getting dumped by someone who has fallen out of love with you is better than living with someone who has fallen out of love with you

[thestoryaboutyou]

I have to hate you.

I have to hate you because when I don't hate you, the only thing I feel for you is love.

And if I love you, then I miss you and then it hurts.

So I must hate you.

God how I hate you.

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[healing-through-the-pain]

[quilaudatur]

I find it interesting how you taught me what it felt like to love when you never loved me.

[csphire]

YES! I hate how much the romanced end relies on Lavellan just being ok with everything Solas has done. Including things he's done directly to her or to her friends. I've had fellow Solavellans coming at me because their Lavellan forgives him whole heartedly and it all feels like they're being completely dismissive of any desire for an option for the inquisitor to be hurt or angry. I feel like we can feel bad for Solas but acknowledge that most people would be hurt by his actions and Lavellan isn't cruel or disloyal if she draws a line or, heaven forbid, expresses an emotion that isn't immediate grace and forgiveness.

It's sad when some don't want to face the reality of what's being presented and choose to ignore that what Solas did to Varric was inexcusable. As a Solavellan fan, the whole of Veilguard feels icky to me because of this. One can perhaps overlook Solas killing Felassan because it happened while he was in his deep sleep and he did not understand the current state of the world yet or why Felassan refused to help him. I even had, at one point, a tinfoil hat theory that Solas was always a spirit and had taken over the body of Felassan at that moment instead of killing him. That it was another reason why he did not sleep with Lavellan was because the body he was in was his friend's which he would have to relinquish eventually. But I digress. It was wishful thinking. In Inquisition, we watch Solas potentially grow into a better person thanks to the Inquisitor only for him to backslide in the next game. In Veilguard Solas REPEATS his mistake, killing another friend only this time it's one of Lavellan's too. This should be alarming. Easily Solas had the upper hand in that final confrontation. Last time I checked stabbing someone is red flag behavior and it's messed up that the developers did not give Varric's death the full weight it deserved. Lavellan's seeming lack of mourning for her friend feels like it shoehorns her and us the player into him being not as close of a friend as we would all like to think he was. Plus it romanticizes the dangerous messages of "Our love will conquer all" or "Oh but he won't hurt me." I personally expected better from BioWare and killing off Varric for a cheap plot twist was an incredibly stupid and toxic idea.

[moonlight-s0nata]

And at the end of the day I cannot hate you. I cannot hate you despite the fact that you hurt me. Because I know that you’re hurting too even though you don’t admit it. I wish I could hold you in my arms and tell you how you’re enough just the way you are. I wish I could take all of your pain away. But who will hold me and take away the pain that you’ve caused??

[lupismaris]

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh making an actual list of things I will force myself to do and force myself to enjoy so I'll actually go to the airport next Wednesday and actually board this plane for nola and actually follow through with this tournament I have lost all investment in

[kaynineacademy]

i will bite my own tongue before i tell you i love you, but when i walk through the trees in my neighborhood they whisper your name and when i lay my head down on the pillow at night it echoes your heartbeat instead of mine.

[sassywiththesas]

If lies would hurt, you would be screaming

[limerence2ll]

“What’s it like to have a heavy heart”

I am no bigger than I how I feel, I lay by my feelings day in and day out, you asked me how I felt that day and I told you. Made me feel mature to let you know what was eating away at me, but you didn’t feel the same. And I wasn’t surprised, so what’s the hurt and tears for? If I didn’t expect to walk away from you happy why have a heavy heart about it?

Because I still deep down wanted more, I still deep down thought so much more of you. When you told me your final thoughts before you went back to basic training I let it be, so choked up and frustrated with how “okay” you were doing while I was on my last breath every now and then.

I was so deep in the mud. Really my emotions.

I was so deep in my emotions I actually felt them physically, wow have you ever been that hurt before? Have I ever made you feel that way before? Not that I would want too but it’d be heart warming to know I’d touch you that way.

The way you’ve touch me.

In my mind I still feel like we have a future, and despite you hurting me I still wait around for you, I mean I’ve waited all this time, tell me has anybody ever loved you as much as I do? Did and has anyone ever put this much time and emotion into you?

When you really leave me for what you think is “real love” I in my eyes will be left for dead.

I mean this was my purpose.

So for now I’ll be waiting, watching, loving, observing you. With this heavy heart of mine.

And when you ask me one day, “ How did it feel to wait so long” or “ why did you wait so long”

I’ll look at you listening to you ask me

“What’s it like to have a heavy heart”

[goyurim]

.

[healing-through-the-pain]

Gratitude, gratitude and even more gratitude is what I am thankful for on this Chirstmas eve.

You may not be feeling well, but at least you are here with us and you have not perished...

What happened to you was terrible, but at least you were spared somehow and I will never stop feeling ever so grateful to that.

I am not religious- but whatever 'higher power' stepped in to help...

I owe them everything and even more...

I will be forever indebted to them for saving you...