#and i need you to be there for me
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#i’m calling from the road#cuz sometimes it gets so lonely#i got some pressure on me#and i need you to be there for me#your voice keeps me focused#sometimes i feel alone#cuz they’re acting like they know me#but you’re the only real one for me#song of the day#pressure#bayli#pls don’t ask me why this song is relevant#there are too many instances to even name#into the ether#sad bug#feeling heartbroken lately
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My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.
#personal#back to work tomorrow prepare thyself#i have had other adults try to take my phone away ask if I have a tardy pass the aforementioned detention incident-#THE LIST GOES ON#i usually get an apology after they realize im twenty fucking six but sometimes im like#....if you need to apologize this profusely for talking to me like that when you realized i wasn't a student#maybe you shouldn't be talking to the students like that either?#i get it they're irritating as hell but like. as soon as you realized i could report you for yelling at me the way u just did#u HELLA backtracked.#maybe some self reflection is in order?
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girl why the hell WEREN'T you at the devil's sacrament 👀 that's three sacraments in a row you've missed 👀 👀 👀
#girl i thought we were doing group costumes#do u have any idea what an ass i looked showing up as just the BOTTOM HALF of our lord baphomet???#not even a full ass just a half ass with cloven hooves#that was me. last nite. at the devil's sacrament. like u even care#you abandoned me in my time of need you peccant malodorous HUSSY#just fyi the bake sale committee is pissed af atchu right now
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I keep seeing the leather/pleather vs denim jacket poll over and over again with all different sorts of discourse about how there is no plastic-free pleather and like, that's TRUE, there isn't, but honestly I DO think people who don't want to use animal products* also deserve to look cool
and so my suggestion is that y'all google "waxed cotton jacket" or "waxed canvas jacket" plus like, "motorcycle" or whatever style you think is cool, because there's a plastic free leather-look material that is strong and durable and waterproof and doesn't use animal products** AND is plastic free already out there and some of the clothes that you can get made out of it look sick as hell.
*ignoring the fact that most leather is meat by-product that would be going to waste anyway
**except beeswax but if you're going to object to that then honestly there's no helping you
#leather jacket#denim jacket#I have a waxed cotton jacket that is one of the coolest jackets that I own that sadly is a bit too small for me now#and then I have another one that is technically an oil skin#which is a style of coat in Australia#probably most famous by the brand Drizabone#but yeah you literally don't need pleather even if you're vegan#just melt some wax into a tight-weave cotton jacket and it will look and wear like leather
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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I don't need therapy I need rabid gay people freaking out in my inbox
#writing#fanfic writing#writing community#fanfic#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic authors#writing fanfic#fanfic writer#ao3 writer#ao3 memes#fanfic memes#ao3#also goddamnit i cant with gimp why cant you just let me outline text quickly and easily#this shit is like trying to build an entire house out of one giant block of cement#brb need to pirate a workable copy of photoshop because jfc
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Human Bill Cipher
(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)
And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.
#And also: i know#i know the mayor of halloween town. I know guys.#twink death dilf birth#bill cipher#gravity falls#boy oh boy im anxious about posting this here please be nice to me#“the design deoesnt fit the voice” ?? idk man like. what if it did though.#you can draw him! i dont mind#no need to ask (:
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do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely
like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day
#on love#aroace experiences#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aspec#aroacespec#sunbloom talks#<3#just late night revelations#i like love and i love people :)#edit: loveless aros friendly btw#i think that's what i meant when i said love but not really all those months ago#“incredible fondness” is the phrase i really like instead of love#people need to stop coming onto this post being like “nO!! this IS love!!!” shut up you dont know me. maybe it is maybe its not#this was about personal experiences and it blew up somehow unfortunately lol
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#love#lovers#i love you#couple#relationship#couple goals#relationship goals#romantic couple#romance#couple love#couples#intimate#intimacy#desire#affection#soulmates#touch#passion#casais#amor#bacio#kisses#kiss#together#me and who#you and me#i need you#b&w#black and white#postlarım
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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#ordinary photo of yeti#they made astarion in a lab for me to be obsessed with.#like hottest man in game for me is halsin truthfully. astarion is my shitty little white dog with separation anxiety who bites people.#very different things. if i say i'm doing a playthrough as astarion that's when you put me down#main factor motivating me not to is i need to hear neil newbon's voice acting at least once a minute or i die.#i've got a dark urge concept rattling around the brain but i should maybe self-impose a gaming break and take care of. responsibilities 😐#babbling
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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#please look at the guys i made while procrastinating what i actually need to make for my assignment#i really hope they load in sync for you but if not please forgive them theyre trying their best#stardew valley#sdv#blender3d#bless u simblr for giving me an interest in blender years ago#i would be so lost in my college course rn if it weren't for making renders of my sims since 2020 💀#i have no sims content to share apologies
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2 sore losers!
#is that sheep looking at me I LOVE YOU#zedaph#pearlescentmoon#mumbo jumbo#hermitcraft#little drawing for myself :DD#these three together is a dream come true for me!!!#also? unofficial mumbo debut??? im still not content on his design but whatever i needed to draw him so#getting there with my zedaph tho :3c#my art#eydidraws#mcyt#hc
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Need a teen! Bruce au where he’s exactly like Justice League! Batman and Battinson in one. That mf put the fear of every god in Ra’s Al Ghul.
Everytime he’s in a room with someone over 30 “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance plays in the background.
Despite that, in his own way, he’s as gentle as can be with his league. Give me a young Diana who’s getting spat on and ripped apart by the media in a way not one of her male teammates get.
And she’s Wonder Woman. She shouldn’t be affected by it. And she is, anyway. Bruce relates to that in an uncomfortable degree.
“When I first became Batman, weak men tried standing in my way, too. “
“And what did you do?”
“I stepped over them.”
He has a tiny Robin he occasionally has to keep on a leash.
Give me somewhat teen mom Bruce who struggles to wrangle his unruly six year old who likes flipping from rooftop to rooftop and thinks fighting Bane is a piece of cake.
“If Tati can do it, so can I!”
“Dick,” he paused, before handing him a handfull of candy. “Wonderful emotional manipulation. Good job.”
“:D”
#I LOVE HIMMMMM HES SO AWKWARD AND COOL TO ME#give me the league fangirling over him at every turn and he’s just Tired of them. has to call teen Clark who’s Perry White’s intern like.#‘Kal— please write about something other than Batman.’#‘Bruce. I cannot say no to you. Please don’t ask me to do that.’#alfred is extremely tired. also extremely in need of Bruce to stop being self sufficient.#let him take care of you daMN IT—#teen bruce wayne#bruce wayne#batman#batdad#writing#dick grayson#dc comics
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