#i dont need an audience i need a family rn

[lupismaris]

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh making an actual list of things I will force myself to do and force myself to enjoy so I'll actually go to the airport next Wednesday and actually board this plane for nola and actually follow through with this tournament I have lost all investment in

[asterbats]

i think for the shitty scorpion family, their entire dynamic is definitely toxic (heh) but also neither dusk nor bruno is an inherently terrible person? its just that they’re a) horrible together longterm as they are and b) people who should not have had kids.

[romainlettusdinnerparty]

questioning "coming out" as the culmination of will's character arc

i just had this thought of just like,, what does coming out mean for a characters arc? like is that really the final goal in a queer person’s life/ story? i mean, i think in some cases it makes sense like if a story is about a character’s queerness and also their relationship to their family and how secrets can affect relationships but i feel like there’s this idea that if there is a queer character their goal should be to reveal said queerness. i think that 1. kinda makes them a caricature of queerness, dumbs their character down to just one aspect 2. centers other people way more in the narrative - things that have fs been said before. but i really like the scene of will “coming out to jonathan” because its not like a “coming out scene” - will doesnt come to him with a confession - instead jonathan comes to him with support because he can see will’s sadness and longing and most importantly, the distance that has grown between them. queerness isnt necessary to this scene but we know its there so this support, this kindness, this connection means so much more, defies expectation - especially in this time period when such acts would not be at all expected of someone encountering a queer person. we dont expect cruelty from jonathan but its important that he is the one to reach out to will. idk if i want there to be an emphasis on will telling people he’s gay despite the agency it may give him - with both of the “coming out scenes” we’ve had in this show neither of them were necessarily voluntary or on their own terms. robin came out to steve because he told her he liked her and she Couldn’t like him back. jonathan shared his support for will without will ever voicing the monstrous desire jonathan offered comfort for. that feels so much more true to the time period and the lives these characters are leading - queerness is not the biggest issue rn, theyre being haunted by an evil dimension or whatever. idk what it would do for will’s character to tell joyce that he’s gay - i dont like that the idea of coming out to her would just be motivated by wanting to Come Out in that situation, i dont think thats a good enough motivation for will - i dont think he wants to be known necessarily, i dont think that his goal or his overall thing,, mike however? maybe? because of the more societal pressures and hiding and “forced conformity” his character deals with i feel like sharing that secret with someone and having them react well could be really important for his arc - like revealing his true self and not hiding behind what he thinks is expected of him is really important character growth and a huge thing holding him back in his relationships over the last couple seasons. he’s performing - taking the mask off, finding out that it was a mask all along, is important for him, his relationships (with will and el especially), and us as an audience to forgive him. will obviously dealt with bullying both from lonnie and his pears surrounding his sexuality which makes being Accepted for said sexuality so so important for him, i just don’t know if the Telling People part is as important for his character? telling mike he’s in love with him? yes. absolutely. hes hiding that from him and it affects their every interaction. but i don’t think will is hiding from joyce in this regard - i dont think its important for him to reveal it to her much like it wasn’t necessary to reveal himself to jonathan - they already know - or even if they don’t, they know nothing will ever change the love they feel for Will, they just need to show their love and acceptance. i wouldnt be mad if there was a scene almost identical to will and jonathan’s with joyce and will, at least in sentiment. ik it can be very important to say it out loud but if thats the goal then That should be the goal, not informing joyce. im curious why other people want a joyce and will coming out scene so badly - is it just for the ensured emotionality? is it for will’s agency? is it for the show to say the word gay? what is will’s motivation here and why is his tactic to come out?

[otteroflore]

Response to "Takara Osharena Pony analysis - why did they fail in Japan?"

This is one of the first results when you look up the Takara Osharena ponies

Listen. Listen. No offense to this person, I think they were being sincere in making this, but it really bothers me that this is the top post for "Why Takara Osharena failed" and shows up when you search about the Takara ponies, because I don't see how this makes any sense.

"Large expressive eyes and small noses are preferred"

(hello kitty wikipedia)

"What I can't fathom is why the developers chose theses attributes... ...going against the grain for them"

(article on popularity of moomin in japan since the 70s)

"They stand upright on two feet... hooves?... have tiny beady eyes and bulbous noses"

(sylvanian families bear, 1985)

(I am going to ignore the "females find small creatures with small noses and large eyes thing" because we dont need to get into pseudo-psychology rn but suffice it to say, theyre not concrete rules. OBVIOUSLY.)

I still don't know why the Takara Ponies failed in Japan; I can't read Japanese and I'm not very skilled (yet) at researching things in other languages. But I can pretty much guarantee that in 1985, the Takara Tomy ponies look extremely fitting next to other Japanese pop culture icons.

By 1985, Moomin and Hello Kitty had already hit it big and the Sylvanian families line would come out and last for the next, oh, nearly forty years.

I'd love to know why the Osharena Takara ponies were actually discontinued, but I have to wonder if it wasn't because of the above brands. Maybe Moomin and Hello Kitty were so solidified in the public consciousness that the Osharena Takara ponies could look like a pale imitator. Or, the Sylvanian families (and Takara's own flocked doll-animal line) were a direct competitor and just did better, especially since they had full playsets while the takara ponies were mainly just dolls.

The my little wiki has pictures from the 1985 * Takara Catalog, which is from what I understand most of what we know about the Takaras still. I can't find the 1986 version, although I found this site that has pictures of the 1986 catalog showing a toy similar to Sylvanian families that I didn't know about. I'm going to see if the author of said site has info about the Takara ponies- they also collect g1 MLPs and post pictures of catalogs on twitter, but the most recent tweet was 2022 so I'm not sure how active they are.

In conclusion: I think it's a stretch to assume the takara ponies weren't "cute" enough for a Japanese audience. In fact, I'd argue they followed all of the conventions of the time and match several media lines that persisted to this day- maybe too well, even.

*edited to add TW for racist caricature on the cover of the 1985 takara catalog

[saltyskeletonkidpasta]

I dont get why people like jack gibson. Not only do I think he's annoying and irrelevant I also think he so so gross and creepy and somehow the writers and fans love him?

I just cannot get over him implying he didn't need p*rn after maya made a comment about her and carina in the next room. Like hello these are supposed to be your friends have some respect it's not hard to not be creepy. And like dropping the pot of sp**m all over the carpet and he didnt even clean it up they made maya do it...absolutely revolting how the HELL is that supposed to be funny? If you found 5x16 funny please stay away from me I dont trust you. And to top it off another gross seed joke..which we already had like him giving them flowers would've been sweet but he immediately ruined it unnecessarily, and him making the entire thing abt himself like I dont wanna know what kind of porn he's into, I dont care abt what he wants/his involvement. I dont get how people think he is so kind and considerate like have you ever heard him talk? The locker room scene fe pissed me off so much like at what point was any of that to do with helping his friends out? It was all me me me..that was his whole motivation. He even went as far to call marina's potential kid a "little him" which after maya melted at the idea of a little CARINA that's like..devastating then was banging on about his "legacy" or whatever like mate this isnt abt you..even in 5x16 maya and carina having their discussion abt a pretty serious issue (being their trust) and jack just butts in like "uhhh well this isnt helping MY issue tho like seriously? Idk why the writers had to make Jack's bio family appear in that way like could they not do it ANY other way? And even if they really did have to do it that way there is no excuse for ALL of the focus to be in HIM and what HE wants and the disgusting dialogue used along with the annialation of carina's character. No one in there right mind would go for that and they even went as far to have carina freak out abt the idea of him NOT being involved right infront of maya aswell? That is so disrespectful to maya and to carina's character and to queer women in general. Carina had always been the smart independent mature one so fuck knows what the writers were thinking? And then it was all completely irrelevant anyway. They didnt even really delve into Jack's bio fam much and carina barely even cared he left.

Also he eats chicken in literally the grossest way I've ever seen then put the bone in the BEDROOM BIN like that is just gross who tf does that especially when it's not even your own house?

And he literally stood right outside marina's bedroom door while they were having sex and after his previous gross comment abt him being able to get off on that..that's disgusting🤢 I dont get what the writers were thinking like they do know who their audience is right? I dont get how they can read over anything in that storyline and think "oh yeah this is so good people will love this"💀 that's actually embarrassing for them but also they're disgusting for even trying it. Ngl I'm pretty sure queer women dont like being fetishised by straight men and like having sex in the same vicinity esp after comments like that..I mean he even asked maya if carina was like "good and ready" or something like bruh..you dont ask that!? I'm sorry but I dont care how awkward he is, I'm very awkward myself but I'm not creepy. It's just human decency to respect boundaries and not say things like that but jack had never respected boundaries throughout the entire show but this was the worst of what we saw of him but they didnt even have him leave afterwards😭 literally all they had to do was change Maya's line slightly like no dont go play music loudly get the fuck out!

That and exposing marinas private info to andy AND vic without permission..he had absolutely no right to tell them especially andy as it was really soon after and marina specifically said they wanted to wait and discuss things further before the next steps and he just blurted it out first chance he got.i really wish they'd let them have a go at him for that. Okay marina should've been much more clear and set proper boundaries beforehand and it would've been nice if paperwork was mentioned but still he is supposedly a "trustworthy guy" (despite him always being the least reliable and most likely to cause trouble on the team since day 1 but the writers were hell bent on giving him another redemption arc) and that is such a break of trust. Then with no consideration to the team or any of his friends just bails without a warning and left the station leaving andy at one of the most traumatic times of her life and left little pru after she lost her dad and lied to everyone yet was literally down the street for like 3 months...

He bailed on the clinic after like 2 sessions of it being open then ben and carina carried it to keep it going they could've very easily let it go under especially carina as she doenst even work at the station? Yet first thing he does when he sees it again is criticise..its not like they were scaring people off the clinic always looked super busy? He is just so ungrateful to what he has.

He made maya's injury all abt himself in 6x07 and how hard it would be for HIM to lose her and was confiding in he literal wife abt this then didnt even go and visit maya in hospital or find out if she was okay? And dont get me started on the whole pam thing in 6x09..listen I didnt like pam but you cant just go peeking in a private medical cubicle especially when you literally k ow there is a pregnant woman in there?!? And the absolute AUDACITY to accuse carina of cheating with his track record. So glad ben put him in his place especially when he implied he'd interfere if it was ben and bailey aswell like how fucking rude are you? but then it ended with him getting coddled again with him being sad boi :( and ben being like "dont worry you arent losing ur family" like this isnt abt you jack..also YOU are the one who bailed on the team and keeps disrupting its trust..? Thays just being a hypocrite like what abt you and andy, You and eva, you and maya, you and vic you and eva AGAIN? Like he was criticising carina when less than a month before he was sleeping with his dead teammates wife who he also slept with when he was still alive and was some what to blame for his death?

I hate him idc what anyone says he is the worst character simply bc he was so unnecessary. Like the only way the writers could keep him relevant was shoving him into business he didnt belong in.

[theuniverseawakens347]

you got the same root in pain I.e.. being left out feeling worthless … but what’s the intent in healing - to get back at SOMEONE … I WANA better myself … - am I jealous - I got female n maile friends … why they drift from me …they don’t I drift from them… bc niggas doing weirdo shit I WANA BE BETTER TO BE FULLY HAPPY THATS ME FREE …. Yal gon playcate that w you WANA seems like a good person on the outside but your real goal to prove someone wrong… Lee tell me “ ur emotions are inhumane you act like a animal” - Michell cauley… my thing is I KNOW MYSELF YOU REMINDING ME OF EVIL I DONT WANA GIVE YOU MY BEST MOMENTS TIL YOU SHOW ME UR SAFE - is it worth it … EVERYTIME I SURRENDER TO ME YOU PUT ME BACK IN A HOLE that U CONTROL .. then get mad at me when I pull out - I just feel suffocated her this not right … MY INTENTION FEELING PURE AND WHOLE IN MY BODY MIND N SPIRIT… you WANA go live someone else life better n prove you can do more or better than them 🫤 I thought you wanted friends - wicked sound track cashay why you play the same song 7000 times .. cause bitch it slaps my spirit into shape for my soul to shine… oh been born a GOOD FUCKING PERSON. but yal bitches WANA fucking try me bc even you to Tristan if you wanted to do something nice for me..especially right now given the wrongful situation WHY WAIT TIL THE DAY ON THE DAY TO DO THAT NICE THING… - even w me calling you out you WANA change it not all of you some of you …. It holidays pointless bc why you thankful for through out our time together FRIENDS N FAMILY STRANGERS WATCHING ME FOR A YR N CHANGE NOW… parents ya drop ya life when ya kid needs you right!? - lee me in the hospital cause Evelyn gave me spice and Tasha called you ur respomse “ Jesus I just got home from Amy now I gotta do this grr” Tasha calls n tells me that and I’m like nothing fucking new there.. but you get to the hospital and Evelyn and nurse around it “ oh sweetie are you okay what happened how can I help you” … there’s an audience it’s a show to you but us alone or you alone… U HATE ME SO IT SHOWS IN EVERYTHING YOU DO - wicked I hope your happy .. playing rn lol … gravel in submission to feed ur own ambitions .. huh.. anyways what’s authentic to Lee — // India … you look ALIKES and fucking Tristan

[nukuome]

Man... I'm really starting to feel the "Why doesn't anyone like my art as much as I do". I try not to be bitter about it, especially not to my successful artist friends because I really am proud and happy that they have as much of a following as they do, but like idk.. what do the people want from me?? My fanfictions do way better than my art even though I don't like them that much all things considered. Should I plug my art on ao3?? That sounds really scummy.. waaa I complained to said successful artist friend a couple days ago that I just really like obscure or niche things, and that just makes it even harder to find an audience- plus i dont think anyone is looking for a Jessica Hyde sticker. He just loled and loled too, but I really do think that is a contributing factor. That + I do NOT have the skill/focus to pump out a bunch of little animatics to post on like tiktok or reels. I tried that, but it was really difficult for me to transfer what I had in my head onto paper. And I don't use tiktok, so I don't understand the landscape at ALL. Hhhhhuhgjhhhhhhhggggggg..... idk. I don't want to draw just to please people (unless you give me money uwu) but at the same time I really want to please people by drawing for them?? But I also don't like drawing for people like half of the time aaaa. I just really need something to click for me. I'm not gonna like.. give up if that doesn't happen lol I still love drawing and love digital art. I just might get really sad lmao. It doesn't help that my mama doesn't consider art a "real job". And it REALLY doesn't help that all the women in my family are a) artists in some way (nana's a singer, sister's a talented musician, mama loves art and design, etc.), but they b) don't understand the way I draw. I like to call my style: It sure is something. I don't actually have a name for it, but I don't like calling it "cartoonish" or "anime" or "chibi" or stuff like that. It's just "Nukuome's style". Maybe squib. I like that. I just remembered that is a term in Harry Potter.. it has nothing to do with Harry Potter. But yeah.. this might also have something to do with the whole "do people even think of me" thing I have going on rn. Aaaaannnyways.. *ima go post to deviant art now. BYEEEE!!* (imagine hunter is saying what's in the asterisks)

[coralsweep]

ummmmm. hgsn beam me. i dont have coherent thoughts rn but i want to hear yours

i also do not have coherent thoughts rn bc i am currently filled w stress & anxiety but i will try my very very best, thank u very much for asking. i put some stuff under the cut lol

ive only read the 15 chapters up on mangadex rn so this might be outdated but regardless... i think the story is very well set up so far. like the premise is strong imo. im told there are other anime/manga/media with similar plots but at the very least im not familiar with them (so that obv makes it easier for me to like it). but i think the thing that im most interested in rn (& which spurred this on) is that i think whenever u get a non-human/"monstrous" create like fake-hikaru in such close proximity to a human (yoshiki), the question of whether you (fake-hikaru) understand what it means to be "human", whether you want to adopt "humanity" for whatever reasons (for example, staying by yoshiki?), whether you end up choosing to (can you bring yourself to try? what is holding you back?), and whether you can even do so... i think it would be very hard not to touch on these things at all throughout the story, especially given that yoshiki is alr asking fake-hikaru abt what life means to him (wrt end of ch15 re: asako).

so what im interested in is in what direction the author will take it... because i think in and of itself hgsn is not about these questions. (i would give a counterexample, but the first thing that comes to mind is the girl from the other side, and i dont think that quite fits. something vampire-esque, maybe?)

regardless: i dont think hgsn is abt fake-hikaru, or hikaru himself even (this is in part why im personally of the hc that hikaru did not like yoshiki back when he was alive... but i digress), from how i understand the story so far. i think its most interesting to me through the lens of yoshiki: themes of growing up & learning to understand grief (loss of a close friend thru a drastic means), alienation & loneliness (wrt small town, queerness), etc. but i think there could be some very interesting connections b/w fake-hikaru's dilemma & yoshiki's situation that i'd be excited to see expanded.

with the housewife's conversations & the mystery behind hikaru's family i could see the story going in a direction where yoshiki "getting over" hikaru would be +ve resolution, but obv fake-hikaru wouldn't let that go right.. he killed the old lady, but he didn't kill asako. is that just because of yoshiki's intervention? how far would fake-hikaru go to stay with yoshiki? how much can you as the audience trust him & what he says? how much/how long will yoshiki (pretend to) believe him? how would that make yoshiki feel & how would that impact his relationships w other characters, etc.?

i think there r aspects of the story that im definitely more interested in than others, but tldr i think the first few chapters were a very strong start, and the following chapters after that have been needed set up for the story to continue moving... i dont think i had an end point but thank u for letting me ramble for a bit lol.

[lemonlimetoast]

What i like about stede Bonnet in our Flag Means death is that he acts as an audience insert because most people probably wouldn't actually be good at pirates and wouldnt wanna kill yk but it works wonderfully because he's also just like... Kinda insane and not in the usual pirate way. Which I guess is why Ed likes him, but it's just cool cuz I didn't think I'd like him at first

[svankmajerbaby]

not to keep sinking into a monster high shaped hole or to bring that wednesday series topic again but yknow since i had to see dull memes about the avatar sequel stuff guess this is my revenge

anyway. millar and gough who are the actual showrunners of the netflix wednesday show, not tim burton, and who wrote and produced the series, also produced and wrote the monster high movie so many people were pissed off by at first and slowly, i think? they came around to. and i find this interesting bc these are two franchises/properties which i see a lot of similarities between but that in the end i feel like should be treated as different things bc of their respective tone and general audience.

monster high in general is meant for younger kids especially now that it has softened its image to relatable instead of aspirational, which to me is fascinating from a marketing toy line perspective. the addams family was alwys meant as skewing older. i really assumed that the series would be about riverdale/teen wolf/supernatural level horror/suspense/adult content, and having a meaner edge and really much darker humor. in the end bc of the need to have stakes in the netflix series a lot of the humor was softened in a way that it doesnt really appeal to me/becomes a character quirk of wednesday instead of something that its normal inside this universe, the sort of casual cruelty and cartoon logic of the 90s comedy movies cant apply when you also have to be worried about characters dying tragic deaths and there are harry potter-esque mysteries and drama going on. that change in tone to me was what really killed it, it took away what made the addams interesting and left it at a level in which it was purely aesthetic surface. im not saying its completely unenjoyable, after all it has millions of fans who seem to vibe with it. im just saying that it doesnt really carry the spirit or the tone of the 90s movies, or even the 60s tv series, which was more focused on comedy overall and was much better at it.

with monster high the movie though, i think the gothic magical high school mystery works much better since it already has a few animated movies that have that sort of tone. the franchise itself works with issues of adolescence and therefore identity, self-acceptance and friendship (issues that the wednesday series wants to give to the protagonist, to varying degrees of success). and i find it really interesting that ive seen so many posts that say something like "oh the outfits are so bad, the fashions all wrong, why didnt they get actual cosplayers", etc. i dont expect everyone to know this but tv movie budgets, especially channels like nickelodeon or disney channel or the like, are pretty small even compared to streaming movie budgets. they usually recycle sets and costumes from other series by the same production company/costume company in the area, and between preproduction and shooting there is barely any time or budget for customized pieces. this isnt an excuse as much as reasoning. and apart from that there is also the nature of the new generation which is more focused on relatability and being appealing to a wider demographic than the first generation, which was more aimed at shocking and calling attention to itself. in that sense im kinda happy with what they went with, the clothes looks kinda cheap but it also looks like what kids in the 14-15 year range would believably wear to look cool and that remains accessible while also being fashionably easy to identify and distinguish themselves and their tastes. the actors are all Very Much covered in makeup and wigs but there is a difference in the styling of the generation 1 dolls/fanart/restylings that make them look much much older, and that would probably spark more controversy that mattel might not be super keen on rn. so unless they literally went the riverdale route of hiring actors in their mid to late twenties to portray fourteen year olds, dress them in miniskirts and risk losing that 8 to 11 year old audience to upset parents, what we ended up with is next to the best we could have hoped for.

apart from that, what im most curious about is how they will touch upon the issue of the two worlds in conflict, monsters and humans. the wednesday series didnt quite work it out in a way im satisfied with, partly bc of burtons and burton properties' own difficulty applying crítical thought to the very concept of "outcast" and marginalization, and partly bc of a tendency of wanting to apply allegories and analogies to these matters. you want to create meaningful comparisons to real feelings of alienation to emotionally appeal to the audience. but also you as a writer have no real experience reading about real actual marginalized identities and just have a general idea that things were bad and people are angry and people protest about it and also that the Teens™ are complaining in social media using new terms you can stick in the mouths of your characters. in that sense monster high's aim at the younger audience saves them from embarrassing themselves too much, which i cant say the same for wednesday (or the winx netflix series, and a bunch of other teen-aimed media, for that matter). so what remains for the monster high franchise is to figure out how to properly handle something like the idea of the two worlds of humans and monsters needing to find some common ground (something i think its really cool in the way it could be sparked by clawdeens new status as a werewolf being half human half wolf), though its the sort of thing that the writers of future iterations should be careful about and really just not be afraid to shake things up a bit and defy their own narrative status quo. like not be scared to have characters like claire the goth girl from that one animated movie, or the jekyll/hyde kid that was also technically half "normie", to explore further aspects to the idea of identity and marginalization that have a much more appropriate home in something like monster high.

[gaylonelydyke]

16, 19 & 20 for the buffy asks!!!!

thankyou for sending me asks gina im going to cry now 🥺🥺😭😭

ok thoughts thoughts thoughts!

16. Which character do you wish was developed more?

I probably have a few for these but rn im gonna say oz, he is the bisexual nb loml and like he gets decent screentime around s3 but after that you can tell the actor had other projects (cough austin powers) and they needed a way to get rid of his character :( (im trying to make this nonspoilery but like i just made it sound like he dies aksjdhka DW) , but anyway like hes such a cool interesting funny character with his calm exterior and *respect for women*, but he just sort of stays to be willows boyfriend. he has so much to give to the show, he has a family member whos a werewolf? like theres so much story potential there and with his own wolf arc thats just not fully explored so big sad :(

19. Tell me an unpopular opinion you have about the show

👀👀 ok so i feel like generally this is a popular opinion but on tumblr it seems to be unpopular idk. but i hate season 5. like it has its good and bad moments like any season but overall it felt really boring to me? its dealing with a darker storyline which i think is cool and the villain has potential but i just dont think they executed it well, no one except buffy and dawn got an overarching ARC that season and dawn is not really a character i care about? shes just sort of suddenly there and everyone knows her already but as an audience we dont have that same relationship with her and i dont think they did a great job at introducing her. they made her a bit of a charicature so like i didnt connect with her on a deep personal level coz she was introduced so suddenly and we didnt have the time to connect with her before theyre focusing a whole fucking season on her. that season is very depressing too, very very plot heavy, there wasnt a good balance of like fun buffy episodes with the more emotional ones it was at a constant low the whole time and i really didnt enjoy that i like buffy coz its campy and fun whilst integrating more serious themes into it subtly, and like some people enjoyed this season im dont wanna just rag on it but i really really didnt enjoy it

im going to answer no. 20 on another ask i got, hopefully i havent put you off watching season 5 🥴 it has good moments! and like some people love it so maybe u will

[misterbitches]

i keep thinking about this and coming to more conclusions like both as an artist and me. 

we always think first about the aggressor and not the victim. so, for example, with history 4 and yong jie what will their relationship look like now given the trauma? if they have no interest in fleshing this dude out and having him just be an annoying clingy little ugly bitch then acknowledge that pain and how it will affect them. it’s so easy for xing si to get over being raped? what about xing si’s relationship with his mother? what about the fracturing this does to the family when there’s an intense violation that was aided and abetted by the mother?

that would be far more fascinating trying to figure out and they could still have them be together if they so desperately need it but they can’t ignore everything. that means the trauma will permeate through every part of your life. it’s hilarious that so many fans say the portrayals are realistic because they are not. these shows do not have the time and many of the writers or producers do not have the care or prowess—or will have to cut things to please the state—to execute this. they expedite the healing process but we are left reeling. 

in film school one of my teachers was always like, “what happens in the world when the film ends?” and this is something to ask. are we approaching it from: a man falls in love with his brother who raped him and the mother encouraged it and the shock and taboo of that or are we approaching it from a man is forced and trapped into a rship and stockholm syndrome and how that plays out. even if they stayed together even so it would give us more reason and understanding and then we see and know the foundation is built on nothing but darkness and may never recover. after this chapter ends  there may be destruction; it’s possible because that’s how it all started.

but after this story ends, in the way it is presented, what will happen? it’s not just entertainment and that doesn’t mean it’s as big of a deal as i think it is even as i write these things. these are just things to keep in mind and things i think the younger viewers absolutely need to see. for themselves like as creative people and enjoying the media they consume and seeing what works and what doesn’t especially when a work serves a purpose. nothing is made for no reason so don’t expect it to be. to me i’m like: why was this made and what could have been better? 

there is NO improvement which is why we run around in the same circles. the way to untangle that is being clear about the message and its faults. the audience can’t be clear about it if the show isn’t doing its job for a team of professional fucking writers trying to entice people by poorly approaching topics and leaving them empty handed. life is not as hollow as these things make it and yet we eat it up hook line and fucking sinker. 

time and time again we see what these things must establish and how far they can push themselves. it isn’t until the material world gets better that we see a turn in the media but time isn’t linear. sometimes things are worse in years, sometimes things are better. these tropes last because they are a direct reflection of life and the failures in society. so of course it’s about the perpetrator and how they can get their prize but not how we can manage these things when there is a clear victim and we pretend like it isnt there under some sense of potential reform. 1. people do not need to be reformed in a story and that isn’t what this needs 2. is that compelling? 3. yes morally grey things exist but this is not morally grey when it is a violation adn that person’s action was not morally grey. there was a victim and he neeeds to be away from that victim. if he is going to stay we need to see the affects of him being there as real things and there is nothing realistic about that. in no fucking world would someone like xing si a grown adult fucking man be able to temper things that quickly as in the show. NONE. that shit lasts forever but we are supposed to see them kiss and be liek “aw wow morally grey” like what about him is morally grey in relation to xing si? specifically. whihc is the personhe will be with forever.

no it’s how do we get ourselves to see him and engage with him. you can engage with him or be enraptured sure but that doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean the writers are even doing anything with it! i’m glad eveyrone can garner there own idk ideas or get what they want out of a work but what about the victims? what about the relationships? what happens when the story ends? what are dinners like? cos their lives don’t stop when it’s not being recorded (as in these worlds we are shown are always going to exist so they continue on even without us seeing it. so the characters don’t have a stop point we just usually see their happy ending and many times with shitty relationships it’s like why are we here now?) at this point it’s comical and it’s boring. 

there’s a film i like with cameron diaz where she falls in love with someone who kidnapped her for a job. there’s no perosnal connection which really helps as well. he did it for a job, doesn’t know her, they fall in love. they get together at the end. that still affects her but it’s also way less psychological trauma then somoene stalking and grooming you and violating you and trapping you by direct action and constant manipulation. there’s no way to turn that around and it’s even worse when you try to with literally no other explanations. like who are these fucking characters and why should we even want them to continue to be here? yong jie could have even been a vehicle to help xing si like idk unpack everything in his brain in a helpful way even through his violation. they chose none of that lmao i could write a better fucking script and im a moron

why should we believe in their love? why should we believe in yong jie? why should we believe in any of these people when they don’t prove shit to us. they just exist. why is that interesting? why do we root for them? that’s certainly not something they even asked themselves cause they sure as shit don’t know. the writing here cannot make up its mind on its own morality and i think the idea of morally grey only works if you have a fucking idea of what you want to do not just throwing shit at a wall. and we feel something for these “morally grey” characters—frankly this term is also a mistake because it’s so much about good/bad and ignores history and peoples lives and what leads to events and it is a super WASP-y concept in its current iteration anyway with a belief that punity is justice when it is not. that is why i say get the fuck away from this dude instead of going to jail. we could see yong jie grow but FUCKING OUTSIDE OF XING SI.

aey from lovely writer is one where im like wow i feel so bad 4 u i think ur gonna like kill urself someone get this messy ass bitch some help. people hate this kid and they totally can! i feel bad for him! dont love him and maybe i wont even want the best for him but rn im like “omg i dont want u 2 die sir.”

i dont feel that way in many other shows. i feel fucking nothing for these men. not yong jie and not even the old guy from modc im just like ok you exist and i’m going to ignore you. there is nothing in my chest lmao. i look at them and feel cold, couldnt be drier, cos it’s stale and boring and trite and nothing new at all. it’s not realisitc and it’s not even entertaining. it’s just...there. 

i mean it’s there with the reminder of “oh man i am not interested in your love story also isn’t your boyfriend like 40 and you’re 17? why do you like each other again? does this kid have parents? Wait, what’s happening? uhhhh am i supposed to like this? where are his parents? what’s gonna happen when he turns 23 and realizes how fucked up that shit is? can we see that?” and before u know it the sex on screen is over so that was just unpleasant all around.

and i cannot give u a single reason for so many couples why they like each other. like literally what on earth is there for the two of these people to be attracted to. at least one is being swayed by power but what’s the other one doing? oh nothing he just sucks? ok got it.

if we don’t approach it from a “how do we get people to like a shitty person or a person who does things that harms others” it continues on like this. questioning questioning questioning the comfortableness and never thinking about what the fuck the victim can do, what the fuck is even going on in their heads. and if they can’t do that then we go back to the question: what is the purpose of it? if the answr is “just because” then you have a failure on your hands and a lot of annoyed people. sorry not sorry 

[remythologise]

okay but like i used to be a fan years ago and I distinctly remember Kripke saying how Castiel had such fandom power because in a way the audience identified with him? and think about how fucked up that is in hindsight, a fandom with a lot of lgbtqa members seeing their favorite character become canonically gay and he's killed and like you said the people he loves dont even care like I have to laugh or I'll never stop crying lol

Fucked up how Castiel was only useful to them until they got to the end of the show. It’s like they were forced to bring him back in s7 because of the ratings drop and as soon as they could get away with it they kicked him to the kerb. Like, SPN said ‘actually queer fans fuck you, we only ever wanted you for your money not for what you took out of the show.’ If I’m right about the ending, and I am 99% sure I am right sadly, Robert Singer et al. were only ever tolerating the queer fans and influence on their story because of profits. That’s literally it. As soon as he could, Singer wanted to end HIS story the way HE wanted it - two brothers, no found family. I would like to point out the two things that lead me to believe that; that he always wanted Sam and Dean to die together ‘Thelma and Louise style’ holding hands (lol), and that when Charlie died he was like, I don’t see the problem with killing off a gay character. Also he’s previously said in an interview its ‘his’ story, not the fans. 

(Also as a side note; I do not think this was a CW Exec problem, I think it was a writers/showrunners one. I believe CW would have passed the story esp. if it was ambiguous; what we are looking at rn is Cas being left in the fucking Empty. I’ve also been told (albeit only semi-reliably) that CW would have passed it if it crossed their desks. They did pass the confession. Misha also thanked a bunch of people for Destiel and notably did not include Singer in that list.) 

Bobo and Misha did their best for the queer fans to vindicate them in a story that wanted to can Castiel before the end. I love them for that. Singer and the ones in charge of the ending clearly did not give a fuck about Cas, or the fans that loved him. Hope 20 proves me wrong but I don’t think it will. But yeah, the fact Castiel is just a tragic queer man who loved and loved and did everything for love and wasn’t loved in return (in romantic reciprocation; in being told he’s not just a tool; by what we see at the end of 19 where he’s just forgotten). Rough. LGBT people don’t deserve happiness or happy endings.

Also side note; just talking about this on a server with some others and FUCKED UP how all the supernatural characters (minority metaphors?) sacrificed themselves this season while Dean was like. Yeah Jack, our son, can you sacrifice yourself for ‘me and Sam’s’ freedom. Not even the world. So we have; Rowena kills herself to save them from the shitty ghost apocalypse (at least she’s queen of hell), Jack sacrifices himself to save them from God (at least he’s... powerful atoms...?) and Cas sacrifices himself to save them from Death (at least he’s canonically suffering forever which they will ret con into just asleep, watch this space). All so that Sam and Dean can be happy, because in the end they don’t need non-humans or minorities, or even found family. They only care about themselves. They just accept Jack and Cas are gone forever. Anyway anyone who likes 19 is just a foreign species to me unless they are Sam/Dean shippers because at least I understand WHY they think that! The episode was incompetent on every conceivable level, it was a farce. But no, I don’t believe a deliberate one.

[shawnsassymendes]

Best Friend’s Brother ii

a/n: ik i said i wouldnt make a second part but a few people said they wanted one and i got to thinking and then this came about lol hope you like it 

synopsis: you spend the day with the Mendes family after your date with Shawn.

wc: 1.7k

{Masterlist in Bio}

part 1

____________________

The bell above the door rang as you and Aaliyah entered the little restaurant. You took a quick glance around at the tables to find Karen and Manny sitting in the corner booth already. They were looking at the menus as if they weren’t memorized by all of you by now. You nudged Aaliyah and motioned to where her parents were. 

“What are you getting this time?” She asked as you both walked towards the booth.

“Probably the blueberry pancakes. I got the eggs last time.” You mused out loud. “Or should I get the mixed berry waffles? They both come with a good bit of berries on the side. No never mind, I’m getting the pancakes.”

“Glad I could help you make that decision.” Aaliyah chuckled as you scooted into the couch against the wall. “Hey mum, hey dad.”

“Hey girls, how was your morning?” Manny asked, eyes still on the menu.

"Pretty good, you know Saturday mornings are my favorite.” You grinned.

Aaliyah scoffed and rolled her eyes playfully. “Ugh, such a sweet talker.” 

Every Saturday morning, you had a breakfast date with Aaliyah and her parents. Sometimes Shawn was included, and other times, like today, he wasn’t. And every Saturday morning, without fail, Karen would guess exactly what you and Aaliyah were going to order.

“Alright Auntie Karen, hit me.” 

“Hmm, let’s see. Aaliyah’s going to get the... she’s going to get the turkey sandwich with extra hash browns.” You turned to Aaliyah who nodded, not fazed that her mom knew what she was going to order. “And the cup of strawberries for desert.”

“That doesn’t count, she gets it every time. Now me.”

“You... I think you’re going to get the mixed berry waffles.” You opened your mouth to correct her, but she cut you off. “No no, don’t tell me! You’re going to get the umm the blueberry pancakes! I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Every time! How do you do it?” You exclaimed.

Karen laughed and waved you off. “Magic, darling”

The waitress came and took the orders from Manny with a look on her face that said ‘I know these people, but I’m not sure where from’. Something you were quite used to when going out with the Mendes family. After she left, Aaliyah chatted with her mom while you chatted with Manny, recounting the events of the past week the others didn’t know about.

There was a lull in the conversation when Manny received an important email he had to check and Aaliyah took out her phone to text her boyfriend. Karen cleared her throat and looked over at you. “So we uh, we thought Shawn might be joining us this morning for breakfast. Considering your date went well last night?”

Suddenly, Manny’s email wasn’t important anymore and Aaliyah’s conversation with Jordan was put on hold and all eyes were on you.

“Uh yeah, it went really well actually.” You smiled, ears heating up at the memory of last night. “He said he wanted to head to his apartment today, wanted to write something in the studio thing he’s got there.”

Karen and Manny made eye contact and smiled. “Mm, not surprising.” Karen mumbled.

“No, not at all.” Manny replied, picking up his phone and returning to his email. 

You raised your eyebrows in question and turned to Aaliyah. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She shrugged in response, “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

You groaned and ran your hands through your hair. “I hate you guys and your secrets.” 

____________________

The drive back to the house was mostly uneventful. Manny insisted he play his music, which you found hilarious and Aaliyah found embarrassing. 

Karen was dropped off at her office on the way to take her car back home. Aaliyah called shotgun as soon as her mom got out of the car, leaving you alone in the backseat. You decided to take advantaged of the situation and take up the whole back seat. 

You took out your phone and saw that Shawn had replied to your good morning text while you were at breakfast.

shawnie boy: morning

shawnie boy: are you guys done with breakfast?

you: yea, heading home rn

you: you still at your apartment?

shawnie boy: why? do you miss me already?

you: maybe..

You definitely missed him already.

shawnie boy: ur cute

shawnie boy: i came home, brian stopped by to raid my fridge so i brought him with me

shawnie boy: hes staying for lunch

you: see u guys in a bit

As soon as you sent your reply, you received a text from someone else. You were going to swipe it away when you realized it was from Brian.

brian craigen (shawn’s friend): hey y/n

You quickly changed his redundant contact name before replying.

you: hey brian, whats up?

Brian never really texted you, not to say that you didn’t talk. He was Shawn’s best friend and you were Aaliyah’s. All four of you were almost always at their house. You were all very much a part of each other’s childhoods growing up. But he just never texted you. If he ever had something to say to you, he would just wait until he saw you next. There was never anything urgent in your conversations. 

So you had no clue why he was texting you right now.

brian criagen: are you texting shawn rn?

brian criagen: like currently

you: yea?

brian craigen: dude hes smiling at his phone mad hard rn

you: does everyone know this is going on?

brian craigen: everyone’s known since forever y/n dont kid yourself

you: oof was i that obvious?

brian craigen: you both were

“Hey, is the air on back there?” Manny called to you in the back, looking at you through the rearview mirror.

“Yeah, it’s good.” You reassured him. 

He raised an eyebrow at you and turned it up a little more, regardless of your reply. “Are you sure? You’re face is really red, kid.”

“It’s because she’s texting Shawn.” Aaliyah teased in a sing-song voice.

“Am not!” Not fully a lie on your part.

“So she’s texting about Shawn. Same thing.”

Manny chuckled and shook his head at you and his daughter’s antics. 

When you got home, you saw Shawn’s car in the driveway. No one missed the way you perked up in your seat.

“Don’t get too excited.” Aaliyah smirked, fishing out her keys to the front door.

“Shut up.” You groaned and walked away from her and into the kitchen. You saw Brian on the couch and called out a ‘Hey, Brian’ in passing.

Shawn turned around as soon as he heard your voice. “Hey.” He smiled, cheeks the most adorable shade of pink and a steaming mug of what you knew was green mint tea in his hand. 

You hip checked him when you reached the counter and grabbed yourself a mug. Seeing his mug of tea made you want to make some of your favorite too.

“Hey.” You smiled. Shawn came to stand closer to you while you added some water to the kettle and pulled out a tea bag.

You hopped up on the counter as you waited for your water to boil. Shawn came to stand right in front of you and put his forearms on your shoulders. 

This wasn’t necessarily new, all the touching and close quarters, both of you always had a lack of needing personal space. At least around each other. But it felt new. He wasn’t your best friend’s brother who you secretly had a crush on anymore. But he wasn’t anything else at this point really. It was too early to tell.

Shawn leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You hummed, a ghost of a smile on your lips.

Shawn raised his eyebrows, clearly enjoying the banter. “Oh, so we’re keeping secrets this early in our relationship?”

“Yup, I’m a tough cookie to crack. Can’t get me that easy.”

“I think I already know what’s got your mind working overtime.”

“Pray tell.”

“I think you wanna know what we are.” Shawn’s tongue darted out to lick his lips. He really didn’t want to have gotten that wrong.

You bit your lips at his words, shocked at how easily he could read you. “Am I that easy to read?”

“A little bit.” Shawn shrugged. “But maybe it’s also because I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

“Then what are we? It’s only been one date. Or two.”

“But it’s also been a decade. I know you like the back of my hand. Not something most people can say after one or two dates.”

“You are incredibly right Mr. Mendes. Whatever shall we do? Simply be pliant in the hands of a higher power?”

“It seems we have but no choice.” Shawn giggled, bumping his nose against yours. 

“Mm, good. I don’t like making choices. Too much thinking is required.”

“Then let me do the thinking for you.” Shawn leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. It wasn’t a needy kiss or an experimental kiss. It was just a kiss. Granted, it wasn’t a short one. It was like both of you were taking a crash course on what it’s like to feel loved by the other. Every kiss he gave you felt like it was waiting to happen since you first met. 

You didn’t know how long you were sat there on the counter, Shawn standing between your legs. You water had long finished boiling. The table that was clear when you first arrived was now fully set, courtesy of Aaliyah you presumed. 

Considering the fact that she was sitting right there.

“Uh, hi Liyah?” Shawn said, breaking the tension.

“Is this what I’m gonna have to deal with from now on?”

“Come on Aaliyah, we all knew this was gonna happen at one point.” Brian came up from behind her and patted her on the head, messing up her hair in the process. “I, for one, am glad the pining is over.”

“Oh, I’m definitely glad the pining is over.” Shawn smirked. “Cause now I can do this whenever I want.” He pulled you in for another kiss, completely disregarding his best friend and his sister being audience to the intimate moment.

Aaliyah balled up a napkin and threw at you and her brother. “I don’t really care, y’all know that. Just please, please, for the love of God, lock the door when you’re going at it!” Aaliyah laughed as she got up to set the food on the table. 

____________________

hello my lovelies! thankyou for reading and im so incredibly sorry for how long this took. if you could send me your favorite line from this fic it would make my day. feedback is greatly appreciated. this is a non au fic but i tried to make shawn’s fame as insignificant as possible cuz i just wanted it to be more natural you know. anyways. love you guys.

[godrics]

NCT DREAM BEYOND LIVE CONCERT!RORY

gif made by x

NCT DREAM BEYOND LIVE CONCERT!RORY

UNDER READ MORE  (bc it’s actually really long now that im on tumblr)

okay so the concert started with the vcr/video from the dream show ..

rory's little scene was her as a teacher !!! so cute

OOH and then the transition into her into her teacher clothes into a suit .. thats my girl

her hair is still like this. much more vibrant than it was because she redyed it oops

first song was GO!! change ur ways

she was wearing this [ black cargo pants, a black crop top, belt, along with chains lmao idk how to describe. oh and black boots ] for go, drippin', we go up, and stronger performances!

it was kind of awkward at first but then she saw nctzens' faces so she was happy

"to the world, this is the nct! we are nct dream”

she clapped excitedly, jumping up and down

"beyond the dream show~"

when haechan asked the time where the fans were, she read the comments, squinting funnily at the screen before gasping

"one of the czennies said it was 3am!"

the other boys gasped in shock before clapping slightly

"thank you for watching us even though it's 3am!" rory said to the fans. "but go to bed as soon as this is over~ or whenever you're feeling tired, that's okay too!"

"for our global fans, we prepared something special, right?" haechan said and rory nodded, smiling

"so we prepared our greeting in various languages"

rory's greeting was in french! fans went crazy bc she sounded SO good and her pronounciation was good too

after that she says, "renjun took english from me" in english and playfully glared at the older boy who laughed.

she turned to the fans and said, "but um, wendy-unnie taught me that so .. if it sounds bad it's all her fault." she claps as the other boys laugh

when they were talking about how they felt, rory said "i watched superm and wayv's concerts so i was excited because i knew we'd hear from the fans just like they were here with us in person. they were really loud, too" and laughs

when renjun told them to scream, she hit him lightly and said "yah, don't you remember what i just said? some fans it's 3am there!"

"oh dont scream then," renjun laughed, making her laugh before she went back to waving at the fans as they waved their lightsticks

when the fans appeared behind them, her eyes widened and she immediately ran to the screen, waving in all directions

she noticed when she got close to a fan's screen, they'd start waving their hand/lighstick even harder and it made her laugh

"rory, come back!" jaemin laughed, tugging her with him back to where the other 5 were

"wow, pretty grass" rory mocked mark as she stared at the lightsticks where the audience were supposed to be and on the screens

haechan had to hide a laugh

then there was we go up performance

woo fun

then stronger! she loves that song is2g

okay for the next vcr

she was in a school uniform standing in between jeno and jaemin

"you guys suck," rory laughed, watching the boys try to succeed

when renjun comes over and succeeds in under one minute and one hand, she gasped in shock lightly before watching him walk away coolly and put his head back down on the desk

jaemin nudged her as she laughed, "you guys are just losers!"

and then it ends on her walking over to renjun and bending down to face him and tapping him on the shoulder

he jumps from how close she is and she laughs, grinning at him, "that was cool" before going back over to the boys and he watches her

next video of the vcr oo

she gets hit in the head by the basketball(she's after chenle) and luckily saves it before it falls to the ground and throws it towards the basket, renjun jumping up to hit it in

why is she always getting hit in the head rip rory's head

next performance is dunk shot!!!

she hated the outfits tho jfc

she was wearing white loose shorts that ended midthigh and a pink button up over a white t-shirt

yeah super plain im so sorry rory that the stylists did you dirty like that

(to be fair the boys looked bad too like what was that matching .. there was NONE)

NEXT IS CHEWING GUM!!

AND THERE WERE HOVERBOARDS

SHE MISSED THE HOVERBOARDS SO MUCH

she hyped up jisung so loud during his solo dance

and had a huge ass smile on her face during it

she was in the middle of renjun and chenle at the bottom

AND THEY LEFT A SPACE FOR MARK IN BETWEEN JAEMIN AND JISUNG SHE ALMOST CRIED

"i think chenle changed the most" rory laughed, talking about the difference from now and almost four years ago when they debuted

"you changed a lot, too" chenle poked her and she huffed out a laugh, choosing not to respond to him and shook her head

when it was time for the interactions, she had to hide her wince because since she watched wayv and superm's, she was worried about how it would go because some fans' wifi connections were bad(so were sm's but anyways--)

oh luckily the first fan spoke korean !!

"hi!" she waved excitedly at the fan

when the fan said her name, she quietly repeated it to herself but it was still heard from the mic

"there's a song called 7 days in your album. what do you guys mean to each other?"

rory's mouth went dry at that question as she rubbed her hands together, looking at the boys silently as they ahhed and oohed

she smiled slightly as she saw how big their smiles got at the question

chenle said that the members were his family. they're literally siblings

she laughed at that

hyuck said that the members were apart of himself and that he grew up with all of them

jisung said bc they're older than him, they're like his younger siblings

rory had to look away in order to not laugh at his answer LMFAO

she couldnt contain how big her smile got when jaemin said that he couldn't live without them

she literally almost cried from tears of laughter from jeno's answer "onion"

renjun said that the members are youth to him

and him bringing up the stupid bottle to his face . i s2g she quickly yanked that from him so quick while laughing

and then finally it was her turn

"um, thank you for the question, siyoung!" she clapped slightly before continuing. "to me, the members are .. my childhood" she nodded slightly as she spoke. "we all grew up together so each of them have a piece of my childhood that i dont want to leave"

renjun pulls her into a side hug as jeno says "cute~"

wolfies(rory's stans) cried

when the fan said she'd stick with nct dream seven days a week, she laughed from the sudden overwhelming feeling at her words and bowed towards the fan, keeping her eyes to the ground so the camera wouldn't catch her teary eyes

too bad the camera did once she looked back up

"nct dream have 8 members--" when haechan said that, rory smiled big and nodded her head

"infinity" rory cheered, the members following behind

the next caller was up!

"ooh, poland" rory smiled

the fans question was "what are your biggest dreams" which she translated for them

rory's answer was "i have no doubt that nct dream will stay together forever so ... i my biggest dream is nctzens staying with us forever. even when we all grow up and have our own lives, i hope nctzens will some day think of nct dream and smile"

jaemin literally walked over and pinched her cheek, cooing at how cute she was

rory rolled her eyes playfully but let him

ah yes to this day he's still the only one she'll allow to give her skinship in public

rip other boys

she felt so sad when the third caller's connection was bad

"ah ... difficult technicalities"

she put a thumbs down

anyways next was don't need your love!!!

she LOVES this song so much guys its unreal

her place at the start is right in between renjun and jisung again lmao

shes leaning against chenle and jaemin

she loves hearing the boys' english btw

also in this version she has more lines but im not gonna tell which ones that's too much work

and next is we young!!

watching the part when they take a pic .. made me cry so it made rory very nostalgic

rory's wearing a professional suit but like . with a skirt i forgot what its called rip

she's standing in between hyuck and jeno

when jaemin laughs she laughs

she has that pic in her phone case btw

along with an ot8 pic

when they're talking abt the 50 years later OO im gonna . cry again

"so we can see how we change"

"um, we're gonna look older" rory laughed

btw grandma rory literally still looks good as hell sorry i dont make the rules

rory: "chenle would look like steve jobs but like .. chinese"

chenle was so offended bye

rory: "jisung if you grow a mustache i will never forgive you"

"wHY DOES IT MATTER?????"

"bc you'd look stupid i cant be seen with someone looking stupid"

the other pic where renjun jumps .. her face is literally so genuinely shocked in that pic LMAO she didnt expect that

NEXT IS BEST FRIENDS OH MY GODD I LOVED IT SO DID SHE

SHE JUST WISHED MARK WAS THERE .. AND HE KINDA WAS

btw she was wearing a black blazer but it was shorter .. and another black skirt with a white crop top underneath rip

OKAY HYERI MADE NCTZENS CRY SO HARD

so theyre uneven rn right?

so instead of her being a third wheel(not really)

when it's her part, she's backstage and as she's doing her part, she reached into an open closet and .. pulls out a cutout board of mark :((

yeah she cried too when she thought of it and luckily sm let her!!

at the end of her part towards the end of the song, she smiles and says, "right, mark-oppa?" and forms half a heart up to the camera

(taeyong later sends her a video of mark reacting to her parts and when she does the heart he puts half a heart up next to hers <3)

next is candle light! they dont really have a choreo to this one either

anyway candle light wouldnt have been her first choice bc she'd prefer to perform dear dream .. BUT ANYWAY

next is PUZZLE PIECE and 7 DAYS!!

the camera catches her and jisung doing their little handshake . so cute

she then hugs chenle so he wouldnt feel left out

end posing of puzzle piece, she's in between chenle and jisung AGAIN SLDJDJL

they form a heart with her doing the bottom and chenle and jisung doing the top/sides

when they read the comments after performing jeno reads one that says "rory is so talented, her vocals are so good"

and then hyuck read "rory's parts in best friends was so cute"

she blushes so cute

when they talk abt the album

rory says in english, "thank you for supporting us and we hope you guys enjoyed listening to the album as much as we enjoyed making it .. think of it as our gift to you for always loving us!!" cute baby. and then gives a little finger heart

special guest is mark, jungwoo, and doyoung!!

she expected mark but was surprised about jungwoo and doyoung

she couldnt stop smiling the whole time because literally all she had to do was see 127 and smile immediately like they dont even got to do anything

the technical difficulties .. rory said in english again "i think you need to get your wifi checked, mark"

"no mark-oppa?" he teased and she laughed

when they were complimenting them, jungwoo said that mark really enjoyed rory's parts in best friends and she full out giggled from nervousness, blushing from embarrassment

doyoung complimented her vocals and rap and shes never been so proud of herself

compliments from 127? her greatest achievement

jungwoo then said she was so cute wow more blushing

she found the challenge boring and wouldve preferred if 127 picked the damn challenge themselves bc then it wouldve been funnier and more fun but alas .. sm >:(

she picked puzzle piece tho

THE FUCKING NEXT VCR .. so emotional when she watched over it

she literally just watched her and her friends grow up in literal seconds

there's a clip of her from chewing gum on mark's back while he's riding the hoverboard

.. also somehow they got a clip of her hugging jaemin when he came back sigh

emotional manipulation!! she was kinda pissed that was in there bc it was supposed to be private but what can she do .. it's sm

there's a video of her chasing jeno during we young era while on the mv set

and another one of renjun literally dragging her on the ground because she wouldnt let go of his legs in mfal era

in mfal era she's seen running over chenle when he's out of their little cars

its funny he almost fell if jeno didnt catch him LMAO

but its ok dont fret he was in the grass

mfal era where hyuck tries to make a basket but fails and she steals the ball from him and makes it in .. he pouted FOREVER after that

the video of them in chewing gum era and then goes to ridin' era ..

her clip is her smiling shyly at the camera WITH HER CUTE PIGTAILS OH MYGODDD SO SOFT SO BABY

and then it goes to her in ridin' era with her leaning against the car and a lollipop in her mouth, staring dead straight at the camera somehow intimidatingly

n then ofc the music changes and the videos go more recent

theres clips of her behind the scenes in we young, go, dnyl, and boom

also some of her at that dream show concert

the ridin' stage was prerecorded but anyway she's wearing the same outfit she does in the mv

she saw a clip of the car cg and she yelled at the members jokingly saying it almost ran her over

wearing same outfit for quiet down which was live

they had one more song after :( she was really sad and she made sure nctzens knew that

"i wish we could perform more songs for you guys but .. only one more :(" and then sighed really loudly

"i wish you guys were here in person as well but your health is way more important and until then .. well, hopefully we can see each other again in the future! i miss seeing all your pretty faces" she then pouted as the other members oohed loudly and she laughed

after the other members continue she then reminds them all to "wash their hands and wear their masks over their noses if they have to go out"

when renjun says bonjour her eyes widen and she says "wow, so you stole my english and now my french?" she jokingly raises her hand to hit him but all he does is laughs and grabs her hand to 'stop her'

last is boom!

they shouldve performed dear dream or mfal but i guess booms good too not like they havent had to hear that song for 9 months

anyways

at the end she sneakily gives the camera a finger heart

[someofusarequeer]

random rant about family problems, you can ignore

my dad just texted me another guilt trippy sad text about how he never sees or hears from me anymore

and like i just dont know what he expects from me????

like, for one, i am not a phone call and text you randomly kind of person? even before pandemic, i didn't call any of my family members like that. i would make a trip to see them sometimes and spend like a day with them, maybe every couple months. i live an hour away and im in school and working, i am busy. but i know hes getting old and hes living alone and just generally a lonely person. and i feel for him, i dont want him to be lonely.

but i am extremely busy, i live an hour away, its also a pandemic so im not traveling all the way out there rn. but moreover

we dont have any kind of real relationship! It is shallow deep!! It is only bc you are my dad that we have any kind of contact. We have no kind of connection, we do not have any similar interests or opinions, and we n e v e r have anything TO talk about.

let alone his own personality being that he doesnt LISTEN. even when i have tried in recent years to build some kind of foundation, he doesnt actually retain any information! He doesnt listen to me or communicate with me, he wants an audience to pay attention to him. and i know, I KNOW its because hes lonely and he doesnt really get how to communicate, hes never had healthy relationships. but i just, do i really want to repeat what ive had for dinner three times and listen to you bitch about this or that? what kind of conversation is that? What kind of relationship?

he just keeps talking about how i was a little adorable child that loved the hell out of him, and now im all grown and want nothing to do with him. and like YEAH it was a great relationship when i was a codependant child that didn't need actual connection and communication in order to form and uphold a bond.

that just not how you uphold meaningful relationships. and now im just feeling so torn bc i dont want him to live sad and miserably alone, but if youre not actually putting forth effort for a meaningful relationship, what am i? just something to use and talk at? its just so frustrating