#feel like people like posts more than they reblog them which is odd 2 me bc it's not at all how i use tumblr lmao

[rollercoasterwords]

mutuals how r u guys using the tumblr buttons i feel like there are a few different systems. i use the like button like a little bookmarks bar 2 go scroll thru later + then once i've reblogged the post or looked it up or whatever i unlike it.

[strawbrygashez]

ALL THE TIMES DUDE HAS BEEN SUGGESTED/ALLUDED TO NOT BE STRAIGHT!!!!!!!! Feel free to add or correct me if I get something wrong!

First I will start off with things RWS has said themselves and the most obvious example of Dude basically being confirmed to be NOT STRAIGHT. This is from the official Running with scissors Twitter!

And here is a post from the RWS tumblr where they reblogged a post and added this comment

Just in general if RWS or Destructive Creations comments under Nottemdude fanart it’s always more than likely them being positive about it. The RWS tumblr hasn’t been active in 7 years so it’s not just a ‘new’ thing also. I would post more pics of these times but there is a image limit to posts so unless someone wants me to show specific examples….😐 But anyways, they have alluded to adding Nottem to Postal under a piece of nottemdude fanart before if I’m remembering correctly. They also support Dude being shipped with Duke Nukem as well, having retweeted ship art of Duke/Nottem/Dude. Also there is fanart of Nottemdude and just other works where he’s seen being 🏳️‍🌈 or just wearing all kinds of different pride flags on their offical website on the fanart page. And if you take all of this as them being cool about it (fanart and ships) and not minding it and being a ‘good sport about it’ then okay. Sure. But to say that RWS doesn’t encourage or support it would be veryyyy odd.

Before I get into my list of a couple moments Dude is alluded to being bi, I wanna add that If you wanna get technical, the Postal Dude according to RWS can be ‘anything you want him to be’ so while he might not have a totally confirmed sexuality yet or hasn’t been seen being with a man, he is more than likely never gonna be confirmed as straight and if you headcanon Dude being anything other than bi then that’s fine but the baseline seems to be that he’s into both men and woman.

Anyways, here is some moments that come to mind for me.

————————————————————————•In postal 2, You are able to let him kiss another man at the kissing booth on Valentine’s Day

•Most of Dudes dialogue to the other Dude in Brain damage has a flirty tone to it. Dearie & handsome are words Dude uses to refer to the other him. (Which sure, you could say he’s just flirting with himself but be fr for a moment. You wouldn’t be like 🤨 if you heard a man irl calling a clone of himself ‘dearie’?? And the tone Dude uses to tell him not to go and to come back???)

•In postal 4, one of the first things you do is write a sign in hopes to find work. No matter what you choose to write Dude adds something along the lines about being willing to ‘do dirty work’ with men. HE SAYS TO MALE NPCS THAT THEY CAN TAKE HIM BACK TO THEIR PLACE!!! How much more obvious-

•His whole thing with the drag outfit in postal 4. He really didn’t have to wear that if he didn’t want to or really felt uncomfortable with it. Wearing drag doesn’t make someone a certain sexuality but I just wanted to add this part because some people still view Dude as this manly man or this guy who sticks to only stereotypically masculine things?? When he wears drag, makeup & high heels.

•In postal brain damaged, there is a place in his mind specially for Doomguy. And not just in a “ohhh hes so cool and manly 🤩” way..there is full on pictures of his bare ass in Dudes brain. Why would a straight man have a secret part in his brain saved for another man’s ass????

•In BD again, there is a scene where in Dudes dream, buff men are standing behind him set up in a meme reference, suggesting that Dude is about to have sex with them all. Here is the pic 🫡

(And would you look at that. He’s smiling!)

•Lots of d*ldo jokes in postal 4 and BD. A used one is seen on his floor in the opening cutscene for BD. (Again you can just say it’s for the laughs besides the used one but why would a straight man own that many?)

•Dude says “it’s like taking it up the bum” in BD…how would u know how that feels like sir? 🤨

•In postal 2, Postal 3 Dude uses a certain kinda…tone and way of taking sometimes with p2. For example the “Short tempered today, are we?” line. Im sorry but that is such a oddly flirty teasing way of talking to another man. Also p3 Dude felt the need to remind p2 that he wore ‘skin tight leather’ and maybe it would rejog his memory wearing it again.

•In postal 4, dude has a line saying something about how no one has it harder than a “white cis man”. What’s interesting to me is that he didn’t throw in that he’s straight too. You’d think he would do to the nature of that sentence.

•Postal 3 dude is oddly insecure about his masculinity and or is not confident in his sexuality. He’s worried about being seen as gay just for riding some kinda scooter and hopes none of his friends sees him like that. I dunno to me I feel like people perceive Dude as a ‘no fucks given’ kinda guy but he’s whining and complaining about riding some scooter.

[igglemouse]

Song of the Day! New Music Friday!

I realized something...this year will be my 10th...yes, 10th year here. I'll probably make a post about it later but it has given me a thought.

I've been here a long time! I feel like a simblr elder, not sure if that is a good or bad thing but...I am surprised to have been here for so long now that I think on it. Even through some times where I wanted to quit. Each time I restarted my legacy was a moment where I felt like just quitting, except the one with the technical issues. Especially that time where a simblr I was very close mutuals with just stop interacting with me and then blocked me. It was very odd. It always made me feel like someone was saying something about me behind my back which was also odd since...I literally just post my stuff here, reblog other stuff, and try to keep positive energy. I remember thinking at the time, was it something I had done? I couldn't figure out why, I'm socially awkward so I thought maybe that was it...

When I started this simblr, nearly ten years ago, I was not in a good place. I was dealing with pretty bad depression, medicated, suicidal, the whole bit. I might have mentioned that over the years here, I doubt it because I'm pretty guarded, but I think back on it posting was the best thing I could have done then. It was a fun escape and knowing that people saw some value in my writing, even if just a little bit, really helped and it pushed me more and more into writing, which was a good thing. It was something I could focus on. I discovered through this that I have this ability to write and write a lot and here I could play out any story idea I had and I've always had so many come and go.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this one! Sometimes, I just have a thought and it turns into something longer. I would say I'll be here ten years longer but honestly who knows?! I think that's more on tumblr than myself lol as I do love tumblr but I hope there's a better platform in that time to migrate to.

I will say, to all the people that complimented me. That said I inspired them to do this or that, reached out to me, to even those that complimented my writing. Even those that did so and seemed really into my stories until just randomly unfollowing and ignoring me...well, no take backs! I've absorbed all the nice and positive thoughts. Not that they would be reading this any way lol.

So, I guess if you wonder "Why does she keep saying stuff like that!" I guess that's why, maybe its being dramatic but since tumblr/simblr played such a big role in me writing in general I know it meant a lot to me when people have shown me love in any kind of way. Taking things a day at a time is also important to my mental I guess that's why I've always tried to post daily. It's something I've been told years ago to always look forward to something tomorrow and keeping my little legacies going is one small thing in my life that has been pretty consistent.

So yeah! Ten years here will be a cool achievement! If I have the time and have the health maybe ten more years! I feel like even if I became a millionaire I'd still be posting >.< and that millionaire thing is ahem...might be a possibility...life is much better for me now then when I started doing this!

OH! For those new followers, sorry, I do this like 2-4 times a month. I do used my SOTD posts for venting, ranting, talking, whatever!

Also Maria and Araceli tomorrow!

It's always too early to quit. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

[philosopherking1887]

I initially put the following in a reblog comment on this post by @arabriddler, but I'm putting it in its own post because I wanted to add something but don't want to keep derailing that post, which was making a different point. Here's what that post said:

The way Ed’s sin is Pride and Oswald’s sin is gluttony, and the way Gluttony will always feed on The Other and Pride will always starve The Other, and for them to exist in the same space they have to feed and starve each other at the same time.

(This idea is discussed in their fic Philophobia, which I have been enjoying greatly.)

And then here's my comment:

I'm not sure whether Ed's sin (or vice, in less religious language) is Pride or Vanity -- a difference I think we don't recognize enough these days. The difference is in whether your feeling of self-worth depends heavily on being recognized and praised by others (Vanity) or not that much (Pride). Both Ed and Oswald believe in their own greatness, at least to some extent, even when it isn't recognized by others, and both are bothered by the lack of recognition. But I think Ed is a better candidate for Vanity and Oswald for Pride (in addition to Gluttony -- for money, power, and material luxuries) because Ed seems to crave attention for its own sake, while Oswald only wants certain kinds of attention, from specific people, and/or for specific purposes.

1. Oswald is showy when he needs to be, to demonstrate that he's someone to be reckoned with, but is also happy to operate covertly when that better suits his purpose. For Ed, the show IS the point, and he'll sometimes endanger or undermine his other goals for the sake of making a particular kind of show. Oswald, of course, also sometimes undermines his own long-term goals, but usually to satisfy a momentary emotional impulse.

2. Ed enjoys receiving praise from people in a position of authority, even if he considers himself superior to them (at least in intellect). He doesn't mind being in a subordinate position, serving someone else's aims, as long as he receives regular recognition and praise for his skill and usefulness (from Essen or Gordon in s1-2, Strange in late s2, Oswald in s2 and early s3, Lee in s4, or Lucius in s5). Oswald, by contrast, resents being treated as subordinate in any way, including being praised for his usefulness by Fish, Maroni, or Falcone in s1. Not all recognition is good, as far as he's concerned; he mostly wants recognition, in the form of respect or fear, as a sign of or a means to power. He also wants love from certain people; in s1 he does seem to want the kind of praise for usefulness that might reflect a subordinate position from Gordon specifically, which suggests that he regards that relationship as more than just a means to his own advantage.

What I wanted to add, because thinking about Oswald as Pride and Ed as Vanity really reminded me of it, was a link to this fic:

Here's an excerpt that sums up the basic thesis of the fic:

Ed wears layers, sure, but beneath them, he’s less of a person and more like a living reflection. Terrified of his own inconsistency. Fluid, yet in danger of shattering. And hellbent on glinting back at whatever faces him.  Over and over, Oswald finds pieces of this shimmer in Ed, and is more captivated by it as time goes by. Attracted to it, almost, in a delicately odd way. How Ed slithers out of the world’s grasp, even seems to slither out of his own grasp as he pours himself into the mould of the day, reluctant to stay in one shape for too long, too uncertain of his own identity to construct a permanent home and yet beautifully talented at building temporary shelters out of what he aspires to be at any given time. It’s a struggle Oswald has never experienced (–Oswald struggles more with the opposite, already knowing precisely who he is and where his beastly heart lies, being despised for it, and turning that shame inwards on himself–), so it’s a bit of a sad privilege to see Ed twist into so many forms, stolen and borrowed and handmade, just hoping to represent something worthy. Hoping to cast it out into the world and make it true, convincing everyone else of what he is as a detour to finally convincing himself.

The rest of the fic is just as gorgeous and insightful (and so is the rest of the author's work; all Gotham Riddlebird shippers should read all of it). It so beautifully captures the difference between Oswald's "vicious self-sufficiency" and Ed's existential need for an image to project and an audience to project it to -- made most starkly apparent in the fact that his Riddler aspect at first only appears as a reflection in mirrors. Ed is someone who exists only in being perceived, a reflection who desperately wants to be a real boy, while Oswald has more reality, more being, than he knows what to do with. That can be a beneficial symbiotic relationship if Oswald gives Ed enough attention, praise, and opportunities to shine, but it can also become a problem if Ed feels like he's hidden in Oswald's shadow... or if one of them is taking advantage of the other to get what he needs without giving enough in return.

There's another fic by that same author that illustrates a point similar to @arabriddler's about Vanity and Gluttony with heartbreaking incisiveness:

Summary: Ed craves the feeling of being needed, of being valued, more than anything. Only Oswald can give that to him.

And here's an excerpt:

He’s stuck on the way Oswald’s love feels: overwhelming, suffocating, and somehow complete despite all its missing parts. Their arrangement feels less like sex and more like holding each other underwater, spurring each other on because it’s the only way to feel what they want to feel. Ed is not quite ashamed of all this, but he’s not proud either. His idealised self wouldn’t be reaching for Oswald over and over just to feel whole, to add more fuel to his obsessive fantasies because he can’t even touch himself anymore without a fresh imprint of Oswald in his mind. He can’t feel good unless he feels wanted, and no one in the world pines for him like Oswald. No one ever could.  When it comes to their relationship, Oswald’s motivations are reassuringly transparent. He cares for Ed to the point of pain. He’s in love. Ed is unconcerned with love. All he really wants is to feel... The heat of Oswald’s gaze and the spark in his eyes that means he sees Ed, really sees him down to his core; the soft-hard press of his body against Ed’s own when Ed seeks him out and pleads to be held; the scratch of Oswald’s fingernails clasping like he’s clinging onto treasure.

Oswald's love seeks to devour Ed, but Ed feeds on the hunger itself and can't provide anything to satisfy it. It's not only that no one wants or needs Ed the way Oswald does; Oswald himself is a being made of want and need -- no one can want or need anything with as much heat and intensity as he does, so being wanted and needed by someone like that is irresistible to someone like Ed. Oswald is like a massive star with a gravity well that draws in everything around it, and Ed is a shiny planet that orbits to reflect its light but won't let itself be drawn in and absorbed.

[everl0v3r]

so i watched the fnaf movie and i have some thoughts. mostly not good but certainly some thoughts!

(FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ BELOW IF YOU DO NOT WANT THEM)

unpopular opinion but the fnaf movie was frustrating to me because i didn’t feel like it followed the lore at All. like i appreciated all the references (kicked my feet and scream whispered in the theater to my mom when i saw the racing game print on the shirt of the guy who dies in the kitchen) but like the overarching plot made no sense to me. here are some rambling points. long post incoming

Plot Fails IMO

why did afton kidnap garrett (who is nonexistent in the games afaik) from a Campground? this is completely unrelated to the typical afton kidnappings and seems like a major stretch

why is vanessa his (afton’s) daughter? this feels like they tried to smash steel wool lore and scott cawthon lore together and failed worse than steel wool failed at making security breach have a point

why do we care about the mike schmidt namedrop if it isn’t an alias for afton’s son like in the games? why does afton recognize the last name and specifically get mike to work the job, then say he didn’t want mike to even get involved. my brother in christ YOU INVOLVED HIM

yet another piece of media where afton randomly dies. except Different. i don’t understand what is going on here this isn’t how it happened it’s a literal rewriting of the canon lore

the drawings thing was also very odd. the whole point of the animatronics coming to kill you originally in 1 and 2 was BECAUSE they knew an adult had killed them and they thought mike was william. there was no special drawing mind control. felt once again like a steel wool lore transplant, extending control over vanny (vanessa) to the animatronics

Springtrap For Fanservice™️. god im so tired of this stop jamming him in places he wasn’t in to start with

when would this take place even? i estimated somewhere between 1 and 3, clearly fazbear’s shut down but it’s obviously not to the point of fnaf 3 yet? why do they need a guard then? idk

abby schmidt? who

Other Odd Stuff

there was a weird split between horrifying fates and drawn out gore and people being cut in half in impossible ways and….. cutting the tension in half by building a table fort and tickling a child to death. really? every single climatic buildup in this movie felt like it was followed by comedy

my mother pointed out watching this movie that it continues a trope “autistic child provides key help through special connection with main plot problem, and then is immediately cured”. i have to say i kind of agree because why else call her mentally ill at the beginning? go out of the way to show her being by herself drawing (which is FINE! it’s OKAY!!) and then socializing with other kids after the ghost deal is over?

mike schmidt dream plotline. why

what was the point of aunt jane???

vanessa throwing the pills away was probably illegal in multiple ways lmao

sigh… as a long term fnaf fan i really wanted to like this movie but it came off as a whole lot of fanservice and diluting the story for mainstream while blending the new owner’s lore in poorly. i liked fnaf when it ended at fnaf 6!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaahhhaggagah!!!!!!

if you want to contradict anything i said here (or if ur another big fan and you know smth i said is wrong lol) absolutely feel free i love lore and talking about it and if you love lore like me come chat and talk abt this w me!!!

tldr don’t get me wrong i enjoyed it for the references and the little details, matpat and cory and the living tombstone made me giggle, but i really thought they messed up the plot a Lot..

might add more in reblogs as i think of it

yeah anyways ill probably make another post rambling about all the references and stuff lol

[tumblingxelian]

Hey, have you seen the recent post from STRQYR about the closest to Yang's deflect with humor we've seen is Summer? (Ozpin keeping secrets) Initial post is focused on how that behavior isn't inherited from Tai.

But the whole pointing out that Yang picked up a kinda major coping mechanism brings two things into a bit more focus.

Yang's laughter reaction to Taiyang's lost some brain cells with that arm was always dubious with Oobleck and Port telling the obvious that wasn't a normal for Remnant joke (and only relaxed when Yang laughed) But the fact it's a deflection mechanism as Ren pointed out (and it was always noted that laughing/smiling when ever super uncomfortable is a thing people do to not have big fights) and that Summer did so as well ... Did Tai never notice with either?

Tai seeing so much of Raven in Yang when the show started telling us that she was aping Summer back with Gold in the first Season. We admittedly haven't ever seen a happy healthy Raven.

But Tai in that scene was never a particularly accurate informant of information. Raven after all left the team but it survived until Summer never came back home.

I have not as far as I know STRQYR blocked me at some point which is admittedly odd as I don't recall interacting with them in aaaages outside of reblogging their art but maybe I said something annoying in a note or they just disliked my stuff and decided I wasn't on their enrichment team. As a result though I don't really see their stuff much.

As a result of this I cannot find the post or otherwise access it via searching and so its hard to comment on directly. The idea she got it from Summer is interesting, though I am surprised by the claim if only cos of how little we've seen of her.

1: I agree with you specifically tat Yang's laughter always felt super weird in that scene and that in one way or another the writers agree. Given Oobleck dropping the mug, Oobleck & Port only calming down when Yang laughed it off & them being the one's to actually give her serviceable advice rather than insults or demanding expectations in place of help.

As it is I doubt Tai noticed given his method of coping is to just ignore stuff or ash out when reminded of it and cos he projects Raven onto Yang so hard he might as well be a movie projector.

2: This too, the music, what we do see of Summer, Yang's actual reference point for motherhood and even elements of her body language like the shoulder check are all 100% Summer. Plus while we didn't see a strictly happy Raven we did get a playfully snarky one for a few moments and she has a bit of a different vibe to Yang, at least compared to Summer I feel.

[getwallowed]

the best wallows fan accounts on instagram! :)

i'm aware that fellow wallows fans on here probably already follow some of these accounts on ig/don't have or want ig, but just in case you guys were looking for more content i've listed my favs here!

@/wallowshq [ leah (@wallowshq) ] the biggest wallows fan account (that i know of) on instagram - they post cool stuff very regularly and are very quick to post any band news. they also have highlights up with all the setlists from the tmtio tour!

@/duhwallows [ abby (@duhwallows) ] firstly a funny name, secondly another of the biggest wallows accounts (that i know of) on instagram - they also post very regularly and have very good quality posts, plus they're very helpful if you have questions about tour or other wallows info.

@/wallowsarchive [ gab ☆ (@wallowsarchive) ] this account is pretty cool, they basically post random pics of wallows, not necessarily the most recent ones, so it's basically like a blast from the past/nostalgia account lol.

@/inmywallowsera [ rose :) (@inmywallowsera) ] one of my two favs on this list! the admin, rose, is so sweet and very down to earth, plus she posts a lot of ig stories and they're always so sweet! she always seems so genuinely happy for people who go see the band live or meet the band members around in public, which is lovely to see. also, this account is especially one for the braeden girlies hehe >:)

@/wallowsdni [ totally normal wallows fans (@wallowsdni ] my other fav! this account is so odd but it's absolutely hilarious and every time i see one of their posts i laugh a lot harder than i should. the admins are super cool & friendly too so i'd say def check them out if you like dumb wallows memes (check out my next post bc i'm gonna post some of their stuff bc it's so funny oml).

@/evilwallowsmusic [ wallows shitposting (@evilwallowsmusic) ] similar to wallowsdni (the previous account on this list), they post mildly idiotic wallows memes, which are very funny. also fun fact: the wallowshq admin is also one of the two admins of this account!

@/wallowslyricss [ no.1 hurts me stan (@wallowslyricss) ] this account is so aesthetically pleasing omg - basically they post wallows song lyrics printed on book pages (like those aesthetic pictures of book quotes you see as part of ig photo dumps/pinterest aesthetic boards etc). plus on a personal level they claim to be the number one hurts me stan (so i guess i've been relegated to number 2 lol), which i love because i think hurts me deserves a lot more appreciation.

@/selenasummer16 [ selena (@selenasummer16) ] [ braeden lemasters by selena adams (official music video) - YouTube ] this isn't a full wallows account but i'm linking it anyway because selena wrote, sang and released a song called 'braeden lemasters' and even made a music video for it, which i've also linked! even if you don't watch the mv i'd recommend going to her channel and watching the videos where she goes behind the scenes and explains the mv in depth bc there are soooo many well-thought-out wallows easter eggs in there, it's so cool!

@/wallowscloset [ gio (@wallowscloset) ] this account posts pictures of the clothes the band members wear, say where to find them and the price! a very useful account for ppl like me who are super jealous of some of the clothes they wear :) honestly i'd love to hire dylan as my personal stylist bc i love his outfits sm.

feel free to reblog this with any other accounts you like, on ig or any other platforms, or even to self-promo your wallows fan account! :D

[roleplayingspinosaurus]

Blog is no longer active - follow @forestofforever​

This blog is no longer active, but it will remain online as an archive of sorts. If you are interested in interacting with me, please follow: @forestofforever​

Rules

No godmodding

No smut

No interactions with child characters 

No pregnancy plots. 

I only interact with those that are 18+

I don’t mind seeing these themes on my dash but I don’t personally enjoy writing them.

All of my characters are OC’s so it only makes sense that I am OC friendly. I can usually alter my muses somewhat to fit with your universe, though some plotting may be required to make it all go a bit more smoothly.

Any threads that include Benjamin are bound to be at least a bit triggering. Specifically dealing with themes of abuse, gaslighting and straight up torture. If you do decide to interact with him, please be aware that things could get very unpleasant. We can always discuss the situation beforehand though, since I do believe in respecting those that I write with as well as their muses.

If I don’t receive a reply on our thread for over 2 weeks I’ll consider the thread “inactive.” That doesn’t automatically mean it’s dropped, but I won’t be expecting a reply from you.

The Mun

Memes have no expiration date and I love receiving them, the same goes for my open starters. You're welcome to reblog memes from me, I don't mind it at all.

I’m always open to plot and my inbox and dm’s are always open, so feel free to reach out if you’d like to start a thread sometime or even if you just want to chat!

I’m Lisa, 23 years old with about 10 years of RP experience (though at least 7 of those years are going to go unmentioned because teenage me was no Shakespeare by any means).

I generally reply to threads in about a day, but I don’t mind if you take a bit longer, I understand that people have busy lives. I am a mess at formatting things so I don’t bother trying to make my stuff look fancy. If that’s your thing, totally cool! I just prefer the writing itself and I don’t understand tumblr well enough to make it look any better than it currently does. I do cut my posts though, or at the very least try to. I don’t use Icons but I think it’s cool when others do it. 

The Muses

All muses are played as 30+ unless otherwise specified. Age can be flexible if the thread asks for it, however their age will never go below 20.

Etienne- The Black Cat

Etienne’s family owned a theatre when he was younger, and so he has grown up surrounded by fantasy and drama. Sadly the theatre burned down when he was 15, killing his family in the process.

The experience has left Etienne afraid of fire. Candles won’t cause him to panic, but firepits or fireplaces may cause some visible discomfort. He remains in love with the theatrics that he grew up with, and dramatic is probably a good word to describe him. He’s quick to flirt but slow to let his walls down.

Sylvester- The Crow

Sylvester was a brilliant surgeon until his brother died on his operating table. The guilt and anxiety that followed his brother’s death left Sylvester a shadow of his former self, a shadow which was then mangled even further by a man named Benjamin Forest. Benjamin put Sylvester through hell in an attempt to see how many times you could break someone until they stopped being able to put themselves back together. Sylvester is still going, though one may wonder if he’s still himself after all he’s been through. Sylvester barely considers himself to be a person anymore at all. 

Sylvester is a nervous individual with many odd tics and habits. At first he may seem distant and cold, but as soon as his walls come down (and really, showing him a bit of kindness is often enough for them to go tumbling), he’s the most loyal person around. He’s been starved of affection and struggles to have healthy attachments, which allows your muse the choice; will they show him kindness and try to remove him from an unpleasant situation? Or will they use his already broken psyche to manipulate and control him even further?

Wester- The Big Bad Wolf

Wester is a ray of sunshine, a Golden Retriever in werewolf form. Energetic and social, Wester is easy to get along with, if perhaps a bit difficult to get rid of. Wester is friendly but also a bit naive and an airhead. He enjoys sports and long hikes, and chasing tennis balls (though he tries to only do so while transformed). 

Wester is a werewolf, and he’s not great at keeping it a secret. He is still friendly when transformed, and he can usually control his transformation fairly well unless it’s a full moon. His eyes remain amber even as a human, and his hearing and sense of smell remain more sensitive than that of most. He’s also colorblind. 

Benjamin- The Deer

Benjamin is a pompous prick with more money than dignity and a severe lack of empathy. Getting along with him is a chore, and people really only ever get close to him for his money. Not that they’re going to benefit from it, because Benjamin absolutely will not spend money on anyone unless it benefits him somehow.He’s arrogant, manipulative and just generally unpleasant. That being said, he’s got a pretty face and dimples that might charm some unfortunate individuals right into his bed.

Now if you can overlook all of these significant flaws, you will find a man that might still have a soul after all. He can be very protective of those he loves, but this does come with a great jealousy and possessiveness that should not be taken lightly.

[i-have-never-failed-in-my-life]

inch row suction (long. LONG. incredibly long under that Read More but it has some important bits)

TLDR: i overshare always and i suck and i’m annoying and whiny. expect millions of posts per day. aaahhhhhhhhhhh. this is a vent account where i vent and also just talk about my mental (and occasionally physical) issues. NPD-posting as always until i die sorry

TLDR 2 but not really kind of justt a warning? or something? i don. yeah: also i’ve said this already down there but if you keep up with this account. it will probably will be a huge drain on your mental health. or mood. i don’t know. i can’t stop you from following nor myself from complaining (it’s why i made this account) though, just be careful? block me if needed

TLDR …3.: feel free to follow but you’ll probably want to click on that “Read More” before following though Plank you. (feel free to reblog anything too honestly. heck you can even tag me as “mood” or “me” or your OC or whatever character it makes you think of. even on the long ones that i write while on the verge of doing something awful. it’ll make me feel better honestly. study me if you wanna write a character who’s really annoying and shitty and pathetic just TELL me about them too please please pleaSDFLJBSKDGBHWOUACK ok yeah ok. i’ll get on with it)

extra note from jan 10: for anyone wondering “why on earth did you make this account and put it on your main” i like attention and this also applies when i’m suffering. i want every part of me publicized. i’m immature and young (well. i’m an adult. just barely and still young and stupid) and this will bite me in the ass later i’m sure. thank you

THE TLDR’S ARE LONG TOO I’M NEVER MAKING IT OUT ALIVE

you can reblog anything on here or follow i don’t mind. be warned before following though i do get incredibly spammy and i whine and complain all the time. i’m also incredibly rude at all times and i am deeply awful and annoying. this account is a huge mood dampener

actual START of introduction:

yes this is a vent account hi. i don’t know what to put here honestly. i am very rambly (when it comes to myself) and punctuation is scary. nods. many run on sentences. huge headache to read. expect vent art too maybe who cares. i interact with communities a lot only to talk about myself or something idk. im doing whatever i want

most things will be tagged depending on their content and hidden under a read more (mostly out of embarrassment) (if someone tells me i'm overtagging/putting too many warnings on something i'm going to blast you with hammers i just want to be careful)

also i OVERSHARE!!! a lot! i put EVERYTHING on here. i’ll probably put things here that i feel are Too Much for my main.

just a note because i like putting a huge blaring sign that i have these everywhere to ward people off: i have (covert) Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder (more on this btw. i was diagnosed with ODD as a child and then rediagnosed with Conduct Disorder which lead up to ASPD last year 👍 if you dont know what something i’m talking about is please please please please look it Up) yes i have more but these are the 2 main ones that usually shoo certain people off.

okay before you read further i’m AWARE it’s not a good idea to blatantly list my disorders publicly, but nobody knows me in real life and nobody WILL, and if anyone uses this info against me it’s a very quick and easy way to tell that you’re just being a jerk. so.

before someone tells me i don’t seem like the type (i get this a LOT including from medical staff who read my file) i Am in fact diagnosed <-not to diminish people who self diagnose or anyone who’s questioning they have these. people who do that likely know way more about the disorders than me by the way i know Nothing because i refuse to look into it half the time. i just know that everything sucks always. dont ask me anything. or do. i don’t care. keep in mind i’m just one person and the disorders i have affect people in a range of ways so anything i say only applies to Me and maybe You if you feel like it applies i don’t care thank you ok ? ok

@/people who say “people with NPD and ASPD are cold hearted charmers” you fool you absolute buffoon . i am moist (sweat) and pathetic and everyone hates me and i can’t leave my house on my own volition and i will die if left alone and i will also die alone and i’m mad about it. if you tell me i’m a manipulative charmer i will actually be incredibly flattered. in reality i’m just incredibly UNhealthy to be around and i make people feel like they’re defusing a bomb 24/7 👍👍👍

another . another note. because APPARENTLY some people think that i think of myself as some perfect princess: yes i’m aware i’m not a good person. i’m AWARE that i’ve hurt more people than i have helped and this will never change. and no, honestly, despite what i say or how i seem, i am not trying my best, and i have no intention to change myself for the better. recovery is a beautifully painful path that i believe everyone should take, but it’s just not for me, i’m sorry

last note: I LOVE RAMBLING!!!! ABOUT MYSELF!!!! AND REPEATING USELESS INFORMATION!!!!! slams head into toilet seat cracking both it and my skull

another DSKFHBAODFH i HATE SWEARING note: i have schizophrenia and communication disorders so sometimes shit i say will not make sense. ask me to specify but don't be surprised if the specification makes no sense either

ANOTHER NOTE: like 99% of the vents are caused by the NPD ok. so everything’s just gonna be “nobody loves my WORK WAAAH nobody pays attention WAAAH i’m so MISUNDERSTOOD!!! nobody GETS IT!!!!” ok? ok. okay thanks

questyion and answers:

Q: are you interestedin ?

A: yessssssssssssssssss!!!!!! 🤲🤲🤲🤲

[edit on january 10 2025]

Q: hey girl

A: hi

Q: aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😭😭😭🤤😭😭😭😭😭😭 ive had enough. ihave had enough. i'm so tired. i'm so tired all the time

A: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh help me HELP me

hi yes if you’re here from main sorry. feel free to follow. sorry again

i believe in a lot of things that are (supposedly) not true and no amount of persuasion can fix this but i do appreciate any comfort even if i fight against or don’t respond to something 🤲 but i must warn you it’s a huge waste of time to reassure me even though i am thankful (well. the reassurance and attention does help and make me feel better but it’s incredibly temporary, and i rely way too much on it [coughs towards NPD] and you might as well be draining yourself for No Reason if you’re seriously gonna spend any amount of time on trying to make me stop feeling like crap)

i also unfortunately send hammers at my own brain every time people try to comfort me honestly because i can’t accept that people actually want to help me when i feel bad instead of like idk killing me with Bricks and hammers forever or Something sorry

obligatory I NEED that blogger NOW i can’t stop TALKING ABOUT THAT BLOG OWNER WITH A DISORDER🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪(did you think you all were free from me mentioning them. no. no you were not. YOU WERE NOT.)

[snickerdoodlles]

*sheds off the week* at last i can get back to my proper job: crying about cute characters online

(and jic the reply didn't go through, no worries about the post!! i wasn't annoyed at all, i love doing long thought rambles like these!! but i'm also pretty bad at tone regulators, particularly through text, so i apologize if i ever come off as curt--i don't mean to be rude or unkind in any way, it's mostly a combination of me trying to properly articulate my thoughts and a low spoon count that's divided between tone modulation and writing out my thoughts > <)

anyways! onwards with character thoughts, under a 'read more' since i ramble 😂;

(*heads up, the rambles are mostly kimchay related--they are definitely my favorite kids lol. i think we pretty much agree on Phayu/Rain and i don't mean to completely lose track of them, but the kimchay thoughts are really interesting to me and i'm having a lot of fun digging into them ❤)

i still think we're slightly missing each other when it comes to our points on emotional maturity re kimchay? which is partially me, or at least i see now something i could've articulated better--when i said Chay's an adult, i didn't mean he was done growing. we're always growing. but he's already had to figure a lot of himself out in a way a young adult typically does. like you brought up, i also changed a ton between 17 and 21 years old--but that's because i was figuring out how to look after me, what sort of person i was outside of everyday familial influences, which responsibilities i prioritized instead of my parents' priorities and i had the space to do that for the first time in my life. there's always more growing to do as a person and we all change, no matter which age, but like. to go back to that example, i changed way more as a person those first 3 years after high school than i did the 5 years following those. honestly, i changed so much just those first 2 years that i can barely remember that person. and again, it's just that thing of figuring out what i prioritize, what i value, what i want from life, vs what i thought my parents wanted. and it wasn't like i was consciously thinking "oh, what would mom do?" before that, there was just so much subconscious stuff that i had picked up from my parents that i hadn't even realized i'd internalized until i had that independence/space to just be me.

so with Chay, there's a lot about himself that he's already figured out. there's still tons to discover, obviously, but he's grounded in a way that a lot of teenagers typically aren't. a 17yo and a 21yo dating isn't weird. i don’t even mean in terms of 'law' or 'culture', i mean it's genuinely not odd to me because 4 years is not a big age difference? i do tend to doubt the relationship will last long, but that's just because i see both parties growing at different rates and they can grow into different people in a short period of time. it's not really an age thing (imo), it's a growing rate/self-discovery thing.

tumblr posts are a bad spot to discuss life philosophies so i'll bring it back to characters lol, but this is part of why Chay and Kim feel so rock solid to me. i'm struggling to explain what i mean exactly, but this is also part of what i meant by emotional maturity--that they've individually settled into themselves and they're both grounded in a way a lot of 17 and 21yos aren't. their circumstances are buck wild, but they themselves aren't. a better way to explain this will probably come after i hit 'reblog' lol, but i'm currently coming back to my analysis that Kim and Chay's relationship tension is primarily external, with very little internal drama. in isolation, they're very lowkey and just mesh really well because they both know what they want (even when Kim's trying to deny himself), but drama enters when their circumstances are strained, such as Kim panicking when his mafia family got more involved in both their lives or Chay’s capacity to deal with emotional upheaval gets reached (like in ep12). and this very compatible meshing is due in part to factors like relatable life experiences, but also they aren't trying to figure out so much about their individual selves alongside figuring out how to act in a relationship.

(which, i suppose if i do want to bring back the original context of this post, is another part of why Phayu/Rain makes me frown. Phayu knows who he is and what he wants, Rain is very much at the start of it. and that's basically how their first episode goes, which is also why it comes off as so...i hesitate to use the term 'predatory' because i think that's more of my personal discomfort speaking versus a proper characterization, but Phayu enters knowing what he wants and what he's pursuing, in comparison to Rain who hasn't even fully realized he's attracted to guys. not my kink personally, but i feel like they still could've done...something? with that. like, Rain discovering there's a world of new things to try and recklessly throwing himself into it, narrative is him figuring out how to do that. and contrasted with Phayu realizing not everything needs to be so settled and that he loves being liked more than he likes being admired. or something, idk. literally anything with a plot instead of kinks and Phayu being pretty as he makes alarmingly pushy moves on Rain. 😂)

.

as a quick sidenote on Kim's level of emotional maturity though--or more specifically, your examples. i swear this isn't directed at you, this is just something in fandom that massively irks me, but this line:

"Kim is a mess and doesn’t know how to relate to other people apart from his music - which he uses at the end of the series to tell Chay he cares about him, when he failed to express the same feeling with words."

-> Kim is a mess: yes, agreed, i love my boy so much

-> Kim only knows how to communicate through music: Kim first tried to talk to Chay! sorry i sound irritated, i swear it's not at you, i'm just! aa!!!! people!!!! he called Chay! he wanted to talk! CHAY BLOCKED HIM. bodies in the bar aside (oh Kim, i get where you were coming from but we have some stuff to work on here), Kim tried to talk to Chay. when Chay sets a firm boundary and tells him to fuck off, Kim returns back to the first thing they bonded over--music--to try to reach out to him again. but it's not like Kim doesn't know how to talk about his feelings at all. frankly, i think people don't give enough credit to the fact that Chay loves communicating via song (in the middle of the street even!), but regardless of that, Kim uses his words in canon too. "Kim *only* knows how to sing his feelings, he doesn't know how to (and therefore never tries) to speak them" is fanon.

i don't disagree that he has a lot of trauma to work through, but what held him back with Chay was fear. not an inability to recognize what he wants and likes, or a complete inability to communicate his feelings via words (sorry, I’m still complaining at the general fanon here).

.

moving on 💦 this next bit isn't quite about the characters or even really the rest of our discussion, but it's something i feel really passionate about: your point about Chay's choice of major being impractical as a sign of immaturity.

i mean this gently, but my challenge: why is it immature for Chay to want to study music?

you brought this point up specifically as an example to show how Chay's "still a teen". but...why? how is a desire to study music a show of immaturity?

to me, immaturity would be if he chose that major to get famous or get close to someone he admires, because that would be carrying unrealistic expectations and pursuing unrelated aims within it. but he's not--he's going into it because he likes music. which is an excellent reason to pick a music major! he's looking at studying it for at least 4 years, it's good that he's passionate about it!

you called it impractical--but is it? it's not easy, nor typically a lucrative line of work, but that doesn't make it impractical. there are tons of people making a living in creative fields, why not Chay too?

why is it only practical for Chay to pick something that 'should' make him lots of money quickly? because he's poor? i understand that this was absolutely not your intention or meaning, but just take a second to unpack that wording: should art/music/"impractical" creative majors be populated solely by middle-class/rich kids? are poor people's stories not worth telling?

again, i'm genuinely not trying to be mean right now nor purposefully distort your words--i'm saying this because i got the "it's not practical" speech from my parents too. but the heart of that speech isn't logic: it's fear.

fear of taking risks, if i want to get specific.

personally, as someone still unpacking that fear and weird sense of guilt/shame that comes with ""not being practical"" even if it'd make me happier, Chay's ability to pursue what he wants (even with his level of pessimism!) is a point or three in his favor, not against him.

katharienne replied to your post "things i would change in lita if i were in charge:..."

Excccelent! I was curious what you had to say about LITA and it turns out you had similar problems with the show as me. PhayuRain makes me simply uncomfortable exactly because Rain act like a child all the time. He’s so babyish that I don’t want to see him with relationship with anyone, even Ple would look like a predator next to Rai AND COME ON. It be more enjoyable for me personally (not judging others) if the kink remained something they explored in the bedroom. The relationship is just so unequal in all aspects and I seriously don’t see what Rain brings to the table. Why is Phayu so enamored? They have nothing in common but sex and Phayu thinking like a big strong man. That’s not enough for me :( I enjoyed SkyPai though immensely. Sky’s independence makes him a good partner to Pai to whom! He also acts babyish in private! But we can see it’s something that gets them both going not Sky’s whole personality. And Sky’s snark in the whole series is A+, really. AND let’s compare that to KimChay. Same age difference, unequal standing, one character underage, the other literally using him but it doesn’t feel predatorish at any point because it remained fairly innocent as far as we knew, it was based on emotional connection and the older character was revealed to have many insecurities that made him more on the teenagers level. Yes, Kim was emotionally dumbed down for Chay and it was a valid narrative choice!

i think you're kinda dancing around the central issue that comes up with me for Phayu/Rain, which also links to a larger problem...in general, really, but fandom specifically. and i'm going to start with your last point, because i disagree with that kimchay assessment. it actually links to a minor beef i have with kp fandom, and you all know how strongly i feel about kimchay (lol). so, here's the thing:

Chay is an adult in kinnporsche.

this is an issue in general terms, but fandom in particular focuses on the number but not the context when it comes to age. 18 is considered to be the age of majority because, in very broad generalization, 18 is when people start gaining a lot more personal responsibility. it's not about hitting that number. 18 is when people (generally speaking) start getting jobs, go to college, move out, some combination of, etc. even in situations where someone remains partially dependent on their parents/guardians (ie person moves out to college but is still financially dependent, or they live at home but got a job)--that person is still gaining some sort of independence from the situation they grew up in. and with more independence, comes more personal responsibility and personal growth, and with more personal responsibility and personal growth, comes more life experience and emotional maturity.

Chay might be 17, but he grew up fast. he didn't have a choice. Porsche did everything he could to give Chay a childhood, but we know he's working multiple jobs while also dropping into school occasionally and we know Arthee was an incompetent guardian. Chay was already looking after himself quite a bit in a way that an adult would look after themself, but during canon Chay's on his own. which means he's looking after himself completely. he's managing his own meals, care-taking, budget, schooling, appointments, and general day-to-day responsibilities. he doesn't have his own job, but in every other respect (including a lot of financial responsibility), he is acting as his own agent the way an adult does. his 17yo experience is vastly different from the standard 17yo or average high school student. there's no 'dumbing down' Kim's emotional maturity. Kim's very shy and has a lot trauma he hasn't unpacked, but that's not a reflection on (or even really has anything to do with) his emotional maturity. he's also been forced to being very independent at a very young age due to circumstance. Chay and Kim are operating on very similar levels of responsibility when they first meet.

and it's not about the nature of Kim and Chay's relationship either. the show simply chose not to add a sexual aspect to their storyline (probably moreso due to the actors than their story itself), but in the context of the story, sex wouldn't have been out of place had it been included. sex as an act is very intimate, very impactful, and very vulnerable. it can have big repercussions on participants and it's also just a big whirlwind of emotions and chemicals. this is why people can get concerned when people with little life experience start having sex--it's a question of is that person physically and emotionally ready for what can happen with sex, do they have the capability of taking that personal responsibility and consequences, etc. this isn't to say there aren't adults who aren't responsible and/or ready for sex but are having it anyways, or that people have to be 100% ready on all fronts before taking that leap, or even that sex has to be a big deal for everyone doing it--but you generally want anyone having sex to have to have the capability of taking responsibility for any repercussions (physical, emotional, etc) that might occur. and that level of responsibility can have result in even more pressure on someone with less life experience in handling a lot of personal responsibility. proportionately speaking, it can be a bigger impact. most people underage haven't had a chance to gain enough experience with that level of responsibility by nature of having not been alive for very long, and sex is a big ball to juggle alongside the rest of the coming-of-age mess.

and the weird thing is, this is literally a plotline in lita! Sky was left alone in a new city at presumably age 15. these circumstances left him isolated and vulnerable to Gun's grooming. he didn't have a network of support to turn to when Gun started abusing him, his friends didn't know how to approach someone being abused (they were teens too!), and as a result, Sky went through a period of extremely traumatic abuse that ended with him being gangraped. people don't give Sky enough credit for walking away and pulling himself back together after that tbh, because Gun was clearly an emotional rock for him during that time period when he didn't feel like he had any other, and letting go of that is terrifying and hard, even when the current situation is really bad. it's a very classic abuse scenario. this isn't to say no teenager can ever live on their own (i haven't watched it yet, but tortoise tells me the eclipse plays with the dynamics of this coming-of-age period for its characters very well), but lita makes a pretty strong point of how this sort of situation can make someone more vulnerable to predators/abuse.

which brings me to Rain. i don't have any issue with him acting childish, or being naive, or wanting to be spoiled, or anything like that. i think that's a personality choice, not a reflection on emotional maturity. i also really like that Phayu was just enamored with the guy who held an umbrella for him in the rain. i don't think attraction needs to be 'justified' beyond 'they like that' and i'm glad lita didn't try to make it into a 'big' thing. my concern is that Rain's never really had a chance for any independent growth.

not to throw another show into this mix, but in the animated series RWBY, there's a background pairing between two characters, Ren and Nora. these two were orphaned as children and have been surviving together since--they're best friends who eventually turn romantic. but, after they've been together for a bit, Nora realizes that she thinks of herself as a part of their unit more than she thinks of herself as her own agent ("we've always been 'Ren and Nora', i don't know how to be 'just Nora'."), so she asks Ren if they can take a break from the romantic aspect of their relationship, at least for a bit, so that she can have some time and space to figure out who 'just Nora' is--with the underlying message being that you can care about someone a lot and they can be a big part of you, but that's still all they are: a part of you.

so the show making Rain still highly dependent on his parents--he's still living at home, his mom's still managing his meals and colds, they're still fully responsible for things like Rain's transportation (Rain wanted to call them before roadside assistance when his car broke down combined with the lack of knowledge that he even had to maintain his car (vs him knowing but ignoring it))--it makes him literally childish. and then they further play on that with Phayu coming in and scolding Rain to do his homework, make all his meals, taking over his care-taking, etc. Rain hasn't had any time being 'just Rain' and this tips the character and relationship dynamics from Rain choosing to be childish or making risky choices (which is completely fair, everyone's entitled to making stupid decisions), to "does Rain even understand the choices he's making right now???"

the last ~2.5 episodes of Phayu and Rain's arc try to characterize Rain as someone who is a little childish and naive and just likes to be spoiled--all of which are fine, and in isolation the Phayu/Rain dynamics in those last 2 episodes are pretty fun--but the landing doesn't work because the writers didn't establish Rain properly in the beginning. it's still very discomforting to me. and it's not like it would've been hard to fix? or at least make it less concerning? just putting Rain in his own dorm (even if he visited home on weekends) and switching up some dialogue from "...that's a thing???" to "....i thought i could ignore that check engine light? 😅" (as a specific example) and even including him more of the school activities would've given Rain some of that needed independence/room for some personal soul-searching. granted, i watched the beginning episodes mostly just waiting for Prapai and Sky's arc to happen, but i have no idea what Rain and Phayu's character arcs were. nothing really happened to them besides kink (i am still so salty about the lack of kidnapping aftermath, their kidnapping arc has so much potential laying around untapped). ...i digress. it just really sucks that the entire Phayu/Rain arc was one big missed opportunity, primarily because the writers couldn't let go of their kinks long enough to remember they had a story to write. >:T

[ratabethchase]

ten songs i love by different artists

omg thank you @existentialvoidofexistence for tagging me!! i was very close to reblogging your post just to be an asshole but you're lucky <3

Stand Tall from Julie and the Phantoms

I could listen to this song a million times and i would literally never stop going absolutely bonkers at it. I love it so so much dude i need to rewatch jatp

2. Hate Myself by dodie

just. such a good song. i struggled to pick a dodie song because i love all of them so much but this was the first to come to mind

3. Bad Reputation by Joan Jett

This is such a headbanger and i have been listening to it recently bc my band might do a cover of it which will be fun. i dont know if i can sing like joan jett though

4. That's Not My Name by The Ting Tings

i have no idea how i even found out about this song but it goes so hard .

5. Madison by Orla Gartland

madison is my proof to my irls that i listened to orla gartland before heartstopper because when i was writing my english creative piece i had it stuck in my head so i named the two characters madison and orla.

6. Waiting in the Wings from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

legit have not even seen this show. i just watched this animatic on youtube and i have been hooked on it ever since. it just makes me Feel Things.

7. Real Gone by Sheryl Crow

the song from cars. my brother has watched cars so much out loud that i have grown to love this song. my teacher also saw me listening to it once and got excited that i also liked sheryl crow

8. My Tennessee Mountain Home by Dolly Parton

omg showing off that broad music taste. country music gets so much slander and for what. i love this song so much.

9. 1985 by Bo Burnham

slaps.

10. Bright Lights Bigger City/Magic from Pitch Perfect

i am obsessed with pitch perfect. it is so misogynistic and so feminist at the same time.

honestly though. these are just the most recent songs ive listened to lol!

no pressure tags for some mutuals and some people i see in my notes quite often:

@yaznomarbles @woweejoeyrichter @wands-n-lillies @ironghostie @guyhusbands @franken-pigeon @hillerska-official @fluencca @an-odd-idea @wouldthehill @whyare-youlooking

@insanitysmiles @comradebacterium @auaddict @bluedragonbaby @coffeeflavoredtears525600 @cowboy-lesbian @darkarfs @murkat @brorphine @repetitive-tautology

jeez that was a lot more tags than i thought i would do but. yeah. do it or dont do it

[gillianthecat]

I just read Naomi Novik’s final book in her Scholomance trilogy, The Golden Enclaves. This was the first book I’ve read in I don’t know how many months, possibly since last winter. Historically I’ve been a huge reader, usually a binge reader. I’m in an odd lull from it now, and pretty much only watching things. A flip from the previous two years when I lived on fanfic and romance novels and could barely watch a thing.

Overall I liked it, and the whole series! My appreciation of this book was more intellectual than emotion, but I’m not sure if that’s the book or just my current state of mind. I have many thoughts about it, which I may eventually write something about. Particularly about the way she writes romance, and the role it plays in her stories, across her original fic and fanfic. And also about how she mapped the magical world onto the mundane.*

Mostly I’m posting this as a time stamp of when I read it, since I found going back through my blog useful when trying to reconstruct my watching life. And also as a note to self about what I was thinking of.

(This reading was triggered by the post someone reblogged about how there is a recurring character in Supernatural fanfic named Naomi Novak.)

*on the enclave politics of the magical world: I kind of wish she’d made it either less of a match for the cities and international politics of the real world, or more so, and leaned into the political allegory. As it was, it felt too much like relying on stereotypes as a shortcut.

on romance: I found Orion completely uninteresting as a love interest, although fascinating as a concept and a narrative foil. His boring personality was partly the point of the character—what happens when someone really is the hero, and only lives to slaughter monsters?—but it also made it hard to understand why El loved him, or to feel emotionally invested in her grief for him and her performing impossible feats just to save him. Intellectually I understood them, and they make for great storytelling, but I personally didn’t care much about his fate. And then at the end I realized that he performed the same role as the flat generic female love interests in so many stories about male heroes. Where they exist to be saved but aren’t fully fleshed out on their own. (thequeenofsastiel, I won’t tag you in case you haven’t read these books, but it’s making me think of our conversations about women in media.) Someone to motivate the protagonist, to be rescued. (I do also have many vague thoughts about all the interesting things she was doing with Orion and El (and both their mothers) that wasn’t romance, but I have a headache and don’t want to write anymore.)

Which made me look back to the other two novels of hers that I read, Spinning Silver and Uprooted, and in those the male love interests of the young female protagonist are similarly sidelined and… not necessarily one-dimensional exactly, but underexplored. They’re both significantly older than the protagonist, and the story of the romance is really a sideline or an afterthought. I know many people were bothered by the age gap in Uprooted, but as I recall it didn’t bother me because it felt like the story was about the protagonist growing up and coming into her power, becoming someone who was an equal of the old man wizard at the end. Like in so many stories where the hero gets the girl, the "romance" isn’t about him, it’s symbolic of the journey she went on… not a reward exactly, but also more about her than him. In Spinning Silver the romance is even less fleshed out—she goes into the woods with the fairy king (or whatever he was, I read it long ago) and they come out married. My reaction to that was mostly huh? It more or less made sense for the story, but she gives so little explanation of why and how they fell in love that it felt jarring.

If these three books were all I’d read of hers I’d assume she simply wasn’t interested in romance. The fact that 2/3 of the love interests are so much older and given so little page time reminds of that story (not sure if it’s true or apocryphal) about Louisa May Alcott being told she had to put a romance in Little Women and, in irritable defiance, making Jo fall in love with a boring old man. But much of her fanfic is romance, and when she puts it in I can usually feel the love and attraction between the characters, understand why they want each other. Which makes me curious about why it’s so different in the three published novels I’ve read. Is she less interested in het relationships? (I’ve read very little of her mf fan fiction so far.) Does it get in the way of the stories she wants to tell about young women? Is it something about the way she’s using YA genre conventions?

It does feel a little weird talking about her work on Tumblr where I know she has an account (which I even follow) but presumably she isn’t doing name searches out here.

[bi-sapphics]

lesser-known terms/labels for bisexuals: a review

look, i know what i said about hating the fact that twitter coins all these useless terms to keep bi sapphics from using butch/femme without using doe/stag, but i have to admit that some of them actually kinda rock....... and some of them (expectedly) kinda suck. ALSO THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY OF THEM JUST STOP TRYING AND STICK WITH BUTCH/FEMME OR DOE/TOMCAT/STAG DEAR LORD. I BEG. YOUR COINED SET WILL NOT BECOME FAMOUS AND EARN REWARDS.

1.) to start, solis/lunith/saros are based on the sun & moon, which y’all know i’m such a sucker for the dynamic of, though i’m not a fan of the saros flag being all-blue even though it’s my favorite color. i don’t know why. since given the other two it can easily have a more androgynous context than a masculine one (i.e. “boy = blue”), but to be fair it’s started to grow on me.

2.) similarly, i like solyn/lunyn/mercyn just as much, except that my preferences are switched in that i love the flags much more than the terms. green for androgyny is actually pretty clever imo and the lunyn flag is GORGEOUS and the solyn flag has a color palette that works perfectly for a lot of my favorite characters. they sound pretty, don’t get me wrong, but they’re just weird words to me (and that’s fine!!).

3.) but then you have this “one presentation type for each gender” system that follows the infamous tumblr animal format (with a mixture of pretty and ugly flags, just to mention it) and it just gets complicated. not to mention that i actually dislike this replacement set more than the original, which should say something considering just how much bi sapphics have expressed their hatred for calling themselves deers or other wild forest animals (especially due to implied antiblackness). i mean... moths, beetles, butterflies, and mantises for nonbinary folk? really?? are you just oblivious to all the infantilizing stereotypes that are applied to (usually afab) nonbinary people? and of how much other trans people hate that for us too? i feel like that’s self-explanatory but whatever, if twitter finds that more acceptable than bi history being “lesbophobic” then i’m not gonna prohibit them lmfao. i do actually like the flower system for bi mlm/nblm though, i’ll give op that, and although i’d probably choose different color palettes for the bi wlw/nblw flags due to them reminding me of your classic cartoon-alien-themed children’s outer space playground, they’re not bad. i like celestial body themes. dunno why “moon” and “star” aren’t flipped in meaning, though.

4.) moving on from that rant though, i’d just like to say as a nblm person that these cloud-themed terms are not bad. they’re alright. i do like them better than knight/mage/druid (linked in the above paragraph), which is what they were designed to replace. the corresponding flags can be found here in this thread below this tweet and i personally have a bit of bias in favor of them because i have a preference for blues, grays, and desaturated colors. “cumulous” bi for masculine men, though....... no criticism, i just find that an odd choice in a funny lighthearted way. :)

5.) all i have to say about these three replacements coined for bi sapphics to replace doe/tomcat/stag are that the terms are nice, i wouldn’t use them but they’re pretty enough, but 2/3 of the flags (excluding “forte”) are just plain ugly as hell and i’m not gonna sugarcoat it. sorry, i don’t like them and that’s my opinion. no hate to op but dear god.

6.) this more simplified insect set for (especially nonbinary) bi sapphics basically just gets the same judgement as #3′s moth/beetle/butterfly/mantis since everything was already said in that paragraph. the flags do look nice to be fair, although the butterfly one looks eerily similar to the eclipsis/eclipse bisexual flag, which i see as more of an aesthetic combining the sun & moon rather than a presentation identity.

7.) lastly, i’ve already given my opinion on the damme/tomme pairing in that reblogged post considering they’re the stupidest copycats of butch/femme i’ve ever seen. while i might cringe at some of the options in this post i think i’m gonna have to judge this set as the one i genuinely dislike the post. it’s the biggest “fuck you” ever to bi sapphics coming from fellow bi sapphics and i’m not changing my mind. i hate them. like, imaging calling yourself a “damme bi” and the response is just “damn bi wtf??” it’s just silly.

like i said, there were a lot, and none of them actually really hold any weight or history that seem appealing enough for me. maybe i can adopt solis/saros and solyn on the side, and nimbus when i feel more man-aligned on those rarer days, but that’d be it. please stop embarrassing yourselves is all i have to say to end this post. :/

[fallensimeon]

Take Me For A Ride (NSFW 18+)

A spicy F!MC x Mammon smut mixed with a little angst and fluff, my first time trying out writing! Don’t judge too harshly, I tried my best y’know!

Topic warnings: F!MC, angst, smut, fluff, intercourse, car sex, fellatio, rough play (nearly BDSM-ish), biting, blood, curse words, yelling, dirty talking. Read at your own risk! 

Words: 5,419

Y/N has enough of the brothers attacking Mammon, and comforts him when he needs her the most. One thing leads to another, and, well... let’s just say they go for the ride of a lifetime.

18+! MINORS, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT!

If you like my work, please feel free to like, comment, follow, share, or REBLOG. Thank you for taking the time to read my first piece!

It was a gloomy day down in the Devildom, just one of those days where tensions were high in the House of Lamentation. You were in your room, having just completed your homework so you began studying for a test coming up in the next few days. You had a good feeling you were going to ace it, so you began to organize your books and papers and stash them away in your bag.

You were tired. You had felt overworked as of late, always having work to do, or having one of the brothers drag you into one of their troubles as usual. But today? Nobody had reached out. Everyone had seemed so distant from one another. That wasn’t normal, it was always loud in the house no matter where you went. The fact that it was so quiet for once was shocking.

You finished packing up your school supplies and leaned your backpack against your desk in your room. You just wanted to relax, so you decided to ease your chest and arms comfortably onto your desk and scroll through Devilgram for a while. Looking through the brothers’ profiles always put a smile on your face, because they sometimes posted the most hilarious pictures. However, you found yourself on Mammon’s profile for the longest. 

He was a model, of course he was stunning. Perfectly-tanned skin, luscious snow white locks gracing his head, the most beautiful blue eyes that almost glowed gold. You could never tell him how you really felt, he would just push you away. Plus, there was probably some model out there who was after him already anyways. Why would Mammon want to be with some weak human?

You jumped slightly as a text notification popped up on your screen.

“Dinner is ready, please make your way to the dining hall. You wouldn’t want Beel to get to your plate first,” Lucifer sent. You chuckled and began to make your way down to have dinner. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be as awkward as it was earlier that day.

You make it down to the dining hall, not a single of the brothers making eye contact with you. You froze in your tracks. You can’t lie, that hurt a little bit, you figured at least one of them might greet you.

♡

“Good to see you, Y/N. Come, take a seat. I know you have been working hard up there, you need to eat well,” Lucifer stated, a slight smile on his face. He was glad that at least one of you was focused on your studies that day.

You smiled, finally someone broke the awkward silence. “Thank you Lucifer.”

You made your way around the long table to find an open seat. Your heart fluttered as you walked your way past Mammon, smelling the arousing scent of his cologne waft past your face. You smiled and let out a low but happy sigh, and he looked up for just a second having heard you, a light blush on his face. “Y’know I don’t bite, you can come sit next to me human,” Mammon said lightly, making eye contact with you for the first time that day.

You felt a shudder run down your spine. His voice is so alluring, you could listen to it all day every day. A blush forms on your cheeks as you take a seat next to him.

Everyone around you is surprisingly in their own conversations with one another, which is pretty odd after earlier. Although, you were happy to hear the voices of all of your favorite people around the room. You couldn’t dare to complain, it was nice seeing everyone let go of the awkward tension that had previously filled the House of Lamentation. This, however, was short-lived.

You were almost done with your dinner, only a few forkfuls left, when you heard an argument start. “Oh great, here we go again,” you thought to yourself as you looked up to see Lucifer standing up behind Mammon. You didn’t have a good feeling about this.

“You worthless scumbag, what did you do with my new Ruri-chan figure?!” Levi yelled, close enough to Mammon’s face to spit on him whilst speaking.

“My new perfume went missing too, I bet it had something to do with that idiot,” Asmo shouted across the table at him, a sour glare on his face.

“Come to think of it, my new mystery novel went missing last night, I was going to read it but I couldn’t find it,” Satan added to the fire.

The twins began to spew on about how much of a moron Mammon was, him having done nothing to either of them. Lucifer began to holler at Mammon about every little thing he finds wrong when you realize that was the last straw. You weren’t going to sit there and let everyone torment the demon that meant most to you. You looked over at Mammon, trembling in his seat, trying to hold back tears as his brothers kept pushing him further and further over the edge. He looked like he could break at any second. You know for a fact he didn’t take anyone’s things, he was with you all day yesterday. It couldn’t have been him.

“KNOCK IT OFF, ALL OF YOU! BACK OFF! I THINK HE’S HAD ENOUGH ALREADY!” you shouted at the top of your lungs. The boys all froze in shock and fear, never expecting that out of you. Tears began to stream down your face. You never thought you would see the day that you would have to break up an argument, especially when the only people Mammon trusted were his brothers. Seeing them all treat him like shit made you angry  and upset.

“Y/N...” Lucifer sighed and began to speak, but you weren’t going to give him the chance to continue.

“C’mon Mammon, you don’t deserve this, let’s get out of here,” you gently took hold of Mammon’s hand and dragged him away from the table towards his bedroom. The dining hall fell completely silent once again.

♡

You make it all the way to Mammon’s bedroom door when he stops you in your tracks, pulling your arm back towards him lightly. You turn around to see his cheeks burning red, the tears that formed earlier finally starting to come down his face. He looked somewhat relieved, somewhat embarrassed at the same time. He just barely lifted his head to look you in the eyes.

“You didn’t have to go and do that for me human, ya know I can’t handle m’self, right? I-I just needed to think of what t’say...” he said softly, not enough confidence in his voice for you to believe it for a second.

He was shaking, more so than when he usually gets yelled at. You gently let go of his hand and lifted your hand to cup his right cheek, brushing away his tears with your thumb. He felt so warm.

“Mammoney, I wasn’t just going to sit there and let them stomp all over you like that. They have NO evidence to prove that you took anything from them, but they kept going anyway. I’m so sick of their bullshit, watch them find all of their things that they misplaced themselves. I hope they hate themselves for treating you like that.” You loosened your hand from his cheek and tucked your body against his, arms wrapped around his warm shoulders, bringing him in for a cozy embrace.

This broke him. He leaned into your embrace, the tears streaming down his face as he sobbed into the crook of your neck. The two of you stood in a hug for at least 2 minutes straight, neither of you daring to break away. It just felt so nice, you never wanted to let go.

“Th-thank you Y/N, I’m glad you trust me enough t’know I wouldn’t steal their boring stuff. Why would I need Asmo’s perfume, let alone Satan’s book? Y’know, I-I wonder if they think before they point f-fingers like that. C’mon human, let’s get inside, I just w-wanna relax.” Mammon explains with the slightest blushy grin on his face. He opens the door to let you in first, and closes it behind him.

You had never been in Mammon’s room before, he’s never let you in before now. Your eyes scanned around the room, in awe of how cozy it was. His plush leather sofa and a mahogany wood pool table beside it, bottles of alcohol and a few grimm strewn across it. He has a projector rather than a television, two speakers beside the coffee table below it. He has an open concept closet, adorned with studio lights, and his bed pressed flush on the other side of the wall. His room has two floors, the only things up there being his entryway door... and a car? How did he get this in here? What kind of car was it? How interesting. Rather than walking down the stairs as Mammon was expecting you to do, you made your way towards his car and leaned against the hood.

“Is this your car? It’s so amazing! I can’t imagine how much money you must have put into this beauty,” you exclaimed, being somewhat an admirer of cars, having been raised by your father who’s life revolves around them. You grazed your hand over the headlights and the grill along the front, a glint in your eyes from the spotlights shining down on you and the car.

Mammon was standing next to the door, choked up to say the very least. He was blushing furiously, gripping into his lush white hair with his hand, head tilted down and giggling. “Y’mean my Demonia? It’s nothing really, Lucifer helped me get it a while back once I got my license. Pretty cool right? Of course the Great Mammon is cool!” he chuckled, barely able to keep eye contact with you. The truth was, the car meant a lot to him and it did cost a lot, but he couldn’t focus on that right now. He was too busy staring you down, lights glistening against your soft skin, looking oh-so-hot leaned up against his car like that. Little did you know you were his treasure, he admired you every second he got, whether you realized it or not. He began to walk over to you, leaning next to you on the hood, resting his hand softly against yours, interlocking fingers with you.

Needless to say, you were surprised. You jumped slightly at his touch, hesitant to move. You returned the favor regardless, locking your fingers between his, the warmth of his body flushing through your veins, instantly calming you. He means everything to you, and now this? How can you not tell him how you feel now? This was the best opportunity you could get your hands on. You let go of his hand and made your way off of the hood of the car, locked his bedroom door, dimmed his lights slightly, and made your way back over to him. You inched closer to him, barely hugging distance away.

He was looking up at you softly, still blushing. He was shaking a little bit, but you were too, of course. Now was your chance. It was now or never. Either you tell him how you feel now, or hold it in and never find out if your feelings are reciprocated. Your heart was ready to burst out of your chest, but you couldn’t hold back any longer.

♡

“Mammon, you know I care about you... more than myself sometimes, if I’m being honest. Any time I see you enter the room or my eyes meet up with you, I get tons of butterflies inside. You make me feel like I’m not just some useless human that nobody likes. You make me feel special, and I just want you to know that... I love you. I’m in love with you...” you paused, too nervous to continue.

Mammon.exe has stopped working. You... love HIM? The moron, the idiot, the scumbag? You deserve better, but he can’t deny how he really feels. His brothers aren’t anywhere around, so now’s his chance.

“I-human I... I love you too. Y’mean everything to me. I can’t stand seeing my brothers eyeing you up and taking all of my time with ya away from me. You’re MY human... my... my treasure. You deserve better than me, I’m just some lousy good-for-nothi-” he couldn’t speak anymore. You held him by his cheeks and pulled his face to yours, kissing him on his lips. The first tender moment shared between the two of you, your first kiss. He sits still for a moment before realizing what’s happening, leaning into your kiss and holding you by your waist. Your chests graze against one another as the kiss turns more passionate. Mammon slides his tongue against your lips asking for permission before you slide your tongue in between his. You felt higher than a kite at that moment, the butterflies seemingly flying out through the top of your head.

Before long, you were straddling his lap on the hood of his car, breathing into his neck as he planted kisses along your collarbone, nibbling at you and caressing your lower back. You both pulled away from each other to look into each others’ eyes.

“So this is really happening huh?” you blush and look down, feeling a tad bit shy. Mammon brings his hand up to your cheek, some of his fingers lacing into your hair. “We don’t have to do anything ya don’t wanna do, but first...” he places his hands lovingly on your hips and looks into your eyes. “I want you to be mine and only mine, ya hear? No mackin’ on my brothers or anythin’... you’re MY treasure. Well, if you’ll let me have ya...” he starts blushing too, barely able to keep his eyes on you. The words you have been waiting to hear, that you’re HIS and only his... it makes you melt. You hold onto his hips, and lean in to whisper into his ear. “Of course I’m yours, and only yours. You can have all of me if you want it, and I mean ALL of me...” you whisper and nibble on his earlobe, a smirk forming across your face.

He can’t hold back anymore. He slams his mouth against yours in the most passionate kiss, moaning against your lips and pulling you in closer, pressing you against his chest. His hands start to slip under your shirt, making their way up your bare back until he reaches about midway. He looks at you as if he’s asking permission, to which you respond by grazing your hands over his upper thighs. You lean in once again to whisper sensually, “So have you ever done it in your car?”

♡

His excitement cannot be contained, his body heats up hotter as the bulge in his pants grows harder. Without another word, Mammon scoots off of the car, grabbing you underneath your thighs and carrying you into the backseat of his car, placing you gently while he pushes the seats back and reclining them back further. The open space has grown larger. He climbs his way into the car and shuts the door behind him, hovering over you.

He doesn’t waste any time before he starts to undress you. He slips your uniform jacket off followed by your tank top, revealing your black lace bralette. You whisper in his ear “You like that? I bet you’ll like it more when you see the panties I have to match.”

You set off a fire in his chest, a low growl seeping out from his throat. He sheds his uniform jacket and tears off his undershirt, a huge ripping noise emerging, making you increasingly wet as the tension increases. His bare chest is a glorious sight to behold... so sexy and strong, so protective.

He pushes you back against the seat and makes room to slide off your uniform pants, whilst you slide your shoes off and kick them into the passenger seat beside you. He makes his way down to your feet, carefully sliding off your socks which he notices have a grimm pattern on them, and slyly smirks. His eyes scan your exposed skin from your head to your toes and back up, revving him up even more.

♡

He begins to kiss you from your feet, up your calves and your thighs, until he reaches your inner thighs. Your black lace panties meet his face, becoming more and more flushed. He slides his hands up to the waistband and toys with the lace, planting his face against the fabric. That smell... the smell of arousal... it’s so strong. He could only imagine how wet you are for him. He looks up at you and you nod, giving permission to continue.

Mammon growls and grabs your waistband with his teeth, the sound of tearing lace floods the car. You moan in response, wishing you could hear him like this all the time. Your hands reach down to your now exposed heat and stroke the lips, shining from how slick he made you. Mammon’s eyes start shining, staring down as if he’s a predator who’s just hunted down his prey. He licks his lips and flashes his teeth, slight fangs showing. You spread your lips for him and make your legs more comfortable, inviting him to take a taste.

“Mn... you’re so perfect Y/N, so wet for me, I can almost taste it,” he leans down and begins lapping his tongue at your clit. Shudders run up and down your spine from the senastion, bringing out a sensual moan from your chest, back arching. Mammon grips onto your thighs and holds them open. He drags his tongue up and down your opening, sliding it inside of you. He moans into you, admiring how you taste, your flavor. He makes his way back up to your clit, the tip of his tongue dancing around it. He looks up and you and smirks, sliding two fingers inside of you, pulsing them in and out at a steady pace, curling his fingertips from time to time. You can’t help but let out a moan, never having felt so stimulated and so turned-on before.

“M-Mammon... p-p-please... k-keep going b-baby...” you moaned out as he brought you closer and closer to your orgasm. Did you just call him your baby? Oh, he heard that. He wants to hear it again. He pulses his fingers inside you faster and faster, sucking on your clit, giving you no mercy. The heat inside of you is unbearable. You begin to buck your hips against his face and grab him by the hair, pushing him against your heat, your other hand gripping tightly against the leather seat below you,

It was taking everything Mammon had to not whip himself out and slam himself into you, but he had to make himself more comfortable. As he continued, he used his left hand to undo his pants, releasing his bulge hidden by his boxers. He was only getting harder as you moaned his name again and again.

“I’m... I’m gonna.. gaaaAAAHH!” you moaned out as you reached your orgasm, letting your grip loose from his hair as your body let go of the tension. Mammon laps his tongue down to clean up the mess you made. He gathers some on his tongue, looking up to you with his tongue sticking out, when he suddenly takes it into his mouth and swallows you.

He notices the flaming blush that adorns your cheeks. He brings himself up, sitting on your thighs, his bulge prominent. You stare down his body, glazed in sweat, realizing he lapsed into his demon form as you came down from your orgasm. His horns were shining, wings folded against his back as the car wasn’t a big enough space to let them free. You were positioned on the driver’s side back passenger’s seat, so you decided to slide into the center seat. You reach your hands to touch Mammon’s back, stroking his wings ever so gently. He moans in response, realizing he’s sensitive there. You begin to help guide them open as he leans into you. They fly open and block the whole view out of the windshield, darkening the space between you.

♡

Your hands come down to meet his waistband, tugging on it carefully. You look up into Mammon’s eyes, he can see the desire written over your face. He makes his bulge dance in response, prompting you to go for it. You drag down his boxers and out springs his length, glistening from his precum. It looks so tasty. You lean back in your seat to where you are practically laying down, gripping behind his thighs and urging him to come forward. He was on his knees, his length shadowing over your chest, his tip just barely against your lips. You hold yourself up by your elbows, turning up to him, teasing him “I bet you want your cock in my mouth, don’t you Mammon? You want to see your fragile human squirm under you, taking all of you inside of them?”

Oh, you did it now. His claws getting ever so longer as a growl comes from deep in his chest. “If you want it, show me just how badly,” your last words as he gripped your hair and pushed your mouth around his length, letting out a choke. He moaned in pleasure as he felt himself at the back of your throat, vibrations coming from you barely fitting him inside you. Mammon begins thrusting his hips back and forth, you sucking up on his length oh-so-perfectly. The smell of arousal and the sound of moans fill the car, enveloping both of you. All either of you can feel is bliss. He breaks the silence. 

“Y-Y/N... y-you’re so warm, ya s-suck me off so well, k-keep going, I’m getting close-” He can’t speak anymore, feeling the surge of pleasure rush up through his thighs as you swirl your tongue around him, bringing him to the edge. You pull your mouth off of his length and put his hand around it, urging him to get himself off. “I would love if the Great Mammon would cum for me, I want to feel it all over my face, I want you to make me yours, show me who owns me,” you moan up at him, pulling down your bra to release your warm breasts, toying with them to tease him.

“Oh f-fuck, y-you’re all mine, my treasure, my b-baby, I’m.. I’m...” he groans out, and he’s pushed over the edge. He bucks forward, letting out a deep deep growl, moaning your name and climaxing all over your face and your chest, his cum hot against your skin. He looks down at you taking his load and lets out another groan, watching as you lap it up with your fingertips, eventually licking them clean.

♡

He pushes you down against the leather seats, his length rubbing against your throbbing heat, aching for you. You let out a squeal from your sensitivity, your chest arching up towards him. You reach your hands down to try to push him into you but he stops you, grabbing your wrists and pinning them down above your head. He pushes his lips firmly against yours, exploring your mouth with his tongue. Your chests are touching, he’s just about burning you with the heat radiating from his body.

He pulls away from your face and looks down to you, it looks like he wants to say something. He looks... nervous? After all of that?

“Mammon, are you okay?” you asked gently, turning your head slightly, a smile on your face. “Y-yeah, I just don’t wanna hurt ya. I tried to open ya up for me but what if it’s too much for your human body to handle?” he sighs and stares away for a moment. He loosens the grip on your wrists and you cup both of his cheeks, whispering up at him softly, “I trust you with my life, Mammon. I feel so safe with you, you’re my protector. The Great Mammon. I promise if it’s too much I’ll tell you right away. It’s okay baby.”

He nods and smiles with a blush in response, he couldn’t be happier to hear you say those words to him, as unexpected as they are.

You spread open your legs for him, situating your body in a more comfortable spot, preparing for the time of your life. You lift yourself up with your hands and whisper into his ear, “Take me for a ride, won’t you?”

♡

He growls and stretches his arms and his back, preparing himself. You want a ride? A ride is what you’re gonna get, and it’s gonna be a bumpy one.

He picks up your bottom half by your thighs, dragging you towards him, putting you in the perfect position. He takes hold of his length and lines himself up with your opening, rubbing his tip up and down your heat. You squirm under him, pleading with him in your head, dying for him to give you what you’ve only dreamed of for nearly a year now. He hears you struggling and lets out a low chuckle, a bit evil. He likes to see you all worked up for him, there’s nothing better, honestly.

He begins sliding his length inside of you, the heat from within immediately making him jolt. He can’t help the arousal from feeling you around him, squeezing him tight. You let out a small whimper and look up to him, concern suddenly written all over his face.

Your wrists had been freed a while ago so you take this opportunity to grab onto his soft bottom, pushing him further into you, moaning right in his ear. It hurts... it hurts so good. He’s so big compared to you. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he hits the deepest parts of you. You must have awakened something in him, the look in his eyes giving him an almost primal vibe. He leans down and whispers into your ear along with a growl “That’s a good human, take all of me inside of ya, scream my name, ‘m gonna fuck you so hard ya won’t walk for a week...”

He thrusts in and out of you at a fast pace, hitting your core over and over again. You’re both moaning and groaning into each others’ ears. Mammon grips hard onto the headrests of the seats, pounding into you like it’s his last day to live. Your hands grasping at his shoulders, you can’t help but claw your nails down, leaving red scratches all over his back. He almost hisses in response, causing you to moan out louder. He takes his right hand and brings it to your throat, silencing you. Your eyes roll back into your head once again, your back arching and your hands gripping tight against the leather seats, nearly ripping them open.

♡

His thrusts speed up, bringing you closer and closer to the biggest orgasm of your life. Mammon's hand around your throat, you try to let out a sentence, “Mammoney baby, I’m gonna c-cum for you, p-please, d-don’t hold back,” you managed to say. His face goes beat red and wings flutter behind him. 

You stroke his horns atop his head, barely letting out one last sentence. “F-fill me up with your cum, m-mark your t-territory, I’m a-all yours-” your sentence is cut off as your orgasm takes over your body, Mammon releasing your throat, you proceeding to scream his name in pleasure as you gripped his length inside of you, trying to juice him.

He pounds his length into you faster and faster, bringing himself to the edge of his climax. He can’t hold back, can’t speak. He brings his head down to bite your neck, leaving teeth marks and a little bit of blood afterwards, marking you as his. He sucks on his marking and groans out loudly in pleasure, unable to contain himself any longer. You can feel his length twitch as he fills you up inside, heating the inner walls of your core, giving you the most butterflies you’ve ever had.

♡

You both look down and giggle along with deep breaths, you did a number to the seats of his car. You look at him in worry as he sees the condition of the leather. He notices that you look scared so he holds you tight to him, body-to-body warmth between you.

“I can already tell what you’re ‘bout to say, and it’s alright. Y’mean more to me than some leather seats. Now I can look at my seats ‘n remember my first time with ya, amirite?” he says with a smile, placing the most gentle of kisses on your lips, glazed with sweat.

You go to try to stand up to get out of the car but your body is beyond it’s limits. Mammon notices you struggling to get up and chuckles. “I told ya you wouldn’t be able t’walk for a while.”

♡

He pulls his boxers back on and picks you up bridal style out of the car seat, carrying you down the stairs and onto his bed gently. He remembers tearing up your underwear so he dashes to his closet, finding one of his favorite t-shirts and a pair of pajama pants and swiftly bringing them over to the bed.

“Put these on, we don’t need ya walking out with stains on your uniform and no underwear,” he explains with a giggle. He looked up at you to see you looking sad. “What’sa matter treasure?”

“Well, I was hoping... maybe... that I could stay with you for the night?” you ask, nervously waiting for a response. Mammon helps you take off your bralette and get dressed in his comfy clothes, and cups your cheek, looking into your eyes.

“Of course y’can stay with me, you’re my human! My treasure! Who wouldn’t wanna stay with the Great Mammon anyway?” he smirks and chuckles, you smacking his chest in return.

He crawls up into the bed with you, laying you next to him and pulling your back into his chest. He covers you both with his bedspread and begins rubbing your arms, resting his cheek against your ear. He had never felt this way before. He really fell for a human. Does he regret it? Not at all, he wouldn’t have it any other way. The only problem now? Now he feels like he has to protect you forever, all the time. He loves you too much to ever see you get hurt.

“S-so... does this mean... y-you’re my girlfriend?” Mammon let out shyly, almost expecting you to say something negative or reject him.

You turn back to face him, your arm around his waist. You smile up at him, “I would love nothing more than to be your girlfriend... your treasure.” You plant the lightest kiss on his forehead and turn back around as he begins to spoon you again. Within the next few minutes, you fell asleep in his arms, not a care in the world, no thoughts besides the thought of being his treasure forever.

♡

The brothers felt bad about what happened earlier and were worried about Mammon’s well-being. Lucifer approached his door with the brothers, quickly realizing it’s locked. He took his master keys out of his coat pocket and unlocked Mammon’s door. He took a few steps in and froze in place. His brothers glanced with him over his shoulder to see Mammon with his arms around you, protecting you, sleeping next to you.

They all couldn’t bring themselves to make a sound. They couldn’t believe their eyes. Y/N... and Mammon?

“It’s about time he told her how he felt!” Asmo shouted as the brothers all shushed him, not wanting to wake the two of you.

“We can talk to him in the morning, let him have peace for once today. I can only imagine Y/N needs rest as well,” Lucifer explained.

Lucifer and the brothers turned around and Lucifer locked the door behind him, a cheeky smirk on his face. He was proud of his brother for finally being honest with himself and taking pride in what he wanted. Would he ever let Mammon know that? Oh, hell no.

♡

I’ve wanted to see a fic about this ever since I fell in love with Mammon and saw his room, so I wrote it!

 I’m only comfortable with F!MC writing since I’ve never familiarized myself with GN!MC or M!MC. My apologies!

I do NOT give permission to post this anywhere else. I also have this posted on Wattpad, my username is daradoodlebug. If you like my work, please feel free to like, comment, follow, share, or REBLOG. Thank you for taking the time to read my first piece!

[blakelywintersfield]

Minors

Okay so, I originally wrote this in response to this post (my friend's reblog is linked instead of the original because OP either deleted it from their blog I guess?), but I feel like this constitutes as its own post.

I know this may sound like an overbearing parent "don't trust strangers on the internet" talk, but like. I don't think a lot of you understand just how quickly a situation can escalate; it's scary. I mean that not in a condescending "you think you're untouchable you stupid little child, you don't really know what the world is like" way either, but as in, I don't think internet safety is being taught realistically, so those things you're told to watch out for are far-fetched or already seem suspect.

Predators don't work the way TV shows joke that they do -- most predators aren't going to try and message you at random posing as a teenage girl and attempt to strike up a friendship. A lot interact in community spaces like tumblr, where some level of anonymity is allowed, and it's not odd for there to be people of both minor and adult ages. They interact with a variety of people -- not just targets. They will have full-fledged social circles. Their blogs and social interactions will look like literally any other person's on here.

Then, of the different blogs they follow, they end up interacting a lot with a certain user. Maybe the kind of humor clicks, or similar opinions, or interests. Nothing out of the ordinary; that's how people make friends. Maybe then they start by sending an ask, or a message, or whatever, and that continues for a bit until you two are kind of acclimated to one another, and then, as far as everyone is concerned, it's just a new friend! Neat! That's how you make friends on the internet. They most likely did this with their other friends on tumblr. Nothing weird. In this hypothetical, the minor party has their full name and city public.

But then this person you make friends with -- the way you would any other person on this website -- turns out to be 10+ years your senior. Which like. Honestly, you don't have to cut them out of your life and block them immediately, but you inform them you're 10 years younger than them. A responsible adult would respond to that knowledge with anything from the range of "oh holy shit you're baby uhh I feel a little weird interacting with you so personally" to "oh goodness you are a youngling I will now enter caregiver/parent-like mode". And there will be an established tone from there of "we may still interact but there is going to always be a set emotional distance". It'll have a different dynamic/feeling to the friendships you have with people your age. And it should. Both parties can still care about each other! But this isn't someone you would like. Hang out one on one with. You wouldn't hang out with your mom's friend one on one, or at your teacher's home alone. That'd be weird, right? That should be the same kind of vibe you get with any adult "friendship" you make online (I put friendship in quotes because I feel like... there's a better term for it, or should be one that establishes that adult/minor relationship, but if there is I can't for the life of me remember it).

But maybe that person doesn't go down that path. Maybe it comes off that way at first, but there's a subtle level of emotional manipulation that is subtle enough that you're not certain you can accuse them of being manipulative. "Oh wow, you're so much younger than me... do you still want to talk to me / be friends / etc.? I can leave you alone now if you want." Warning sign #1: they are pressuring you to make the decision; they are placing responsibility on you. And it might feel a little mean to just drop communication all of a sudden because of age -- you got along fine before. Why should that change anything? That's a rational thought process, but it's also the one that benefits them too.

So hypothetically, you say "no it's okay, we can still talk. we were talking just fine before we found out each other's ages so why should that change?" And then maybe the conversation continues normally from there. But then they continue interacting with you as your peers would. You guys talk about stuff that's been stressing you or your problems, just like you would with your peers. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Warning sign #2: That form of emotional connection isn't normal with an adult/minor relationship. I have minors that follow me. They have talked to me about their problems, and I've offered advice and wisdom; I don't condemn that because, well. As adults, we should help guide the younger if asked. But when it comes to my troubles, I limit how much I discuss with them. I don't bring them up myself (it's often brought up by the other party because I'll post about it on here, like a vent post or whatever). And while I don't brush them off with a short "don't worry about it", I make it clear -- I appreciate that you care enough to make sure I'm okay (because their sympathy / care is just as valuable as an adult's), but even if I'm not okay, the burdens and problems surrounding my troubles will be dealt with by me. I don't ask them for advice. I don't goad them for sympathetic words. And it's not that I believe they couldn't give good advice, or their sympathy means less, but an adult should not be relying on a minor for those levels of emotional labor. That established emotional connection where both parties exchange advice and comfort is how predators manipulate their victims because it's subtle and seemingly harmless, and difficult to paint them as a bad person when you have that level of emotional trust.

And once that emotional connection is established, that's when things can escalate, and get scary, quickly.

One day while talking they will probably bring it up -- the way one of your peers would. Something along the lines of "hey can I tell you something?" or "there's something I want to tell you but I'm afraid you won't want to talk to me anymore if I do" etc. etc.; with that peer/peer dynamic, that'll make you anxious, sure. You'd probably get anxious if they were your own age and said that too. So then, it comes out in some form that "I like you, but like... as more than a friend" or "I think you're really cute; I have for a bit now actually" or something similar. Obviously then it's uncomfortable.

But then you realize -- this is an adult. This is someone who has access to transportation. This is someone that doesn't have to report to someone (i.e. a minor can't just say "I'm going out of town for a week bye!" like your parents would, or SHOULD, be like "uh okay where are you going, who are you going to be with, why, etc. etc. etc."). And they know your full name and a general idea of where you live. You could just block them then and there and remove that information from your blog. But what if they already saved it? What if they already used one of those websites where you can look up a person's address by name for $5? What if they already know where you live, and they had planned on asking to meet up? They might know where you live. And you can't confirm or deny that they know. You can't say for sure if you removed that information before they saved it and used it for that purpose. Suddenly, there's the very real possibility that a pedophile that admitted to being attracted to you knows where you live.

Then what do you do? You should tell your parents or a trusted authority figure. But you're also a teenager and there's the likelihood that your parents might brush it off, or get angry with you, and you might get your internet taken away, etc., which is stressful because that takes away a major social area. To build upon the anxiety with that, there's the risk of unknowing if this person does know where you live, and if they do, if they are just unstable enough to do something drastic, like, y'know. Kidnap you. Because they know where you live. And they may know your school schedule too. And if your parents or trusted authority figure doesn't know about this situation, you may end up a missing child never found at worst, or found with far more trauma (5 years of life being kidnapped as opposed to a few months) that could've been avoided had someone known the situation.

But to 100% ensure your safety, it would have to be reported to the police. Because your parents can't do anything about the fact that a pedophile on the internet might know where you live. They can't confirm or deny that they know, and if they did, there's not much they can do other than keep an eye out for someone that looks out of the ordinary. But if they're most likely not home at the same time you are all the time. So, having the police involved ensures your safety -- if you open a case. You can report it to the police, and they'll ask: do you want to press charges (because it could be considered a form of child endangerment). If you say no, then that guarantees if you are kidnapped, that person would be the first they'd look to as a suspect. But to avoid that kidnapping risk at all, you'd have to say yes. And you're a kid that's now having to get involved in court just to avoid any risk to your safety because a pedophile may or may not have your address and may or may not be someone that would abduct their target, and so even if they didn't have your address and wouldn't kidnap you, you are now in a legal situation, which is. extremely. stressful. As someone's who's dealt with the court system a lot it's stressful no matter what.

And sure, you could omit the last step. But then you'll have that looming anxiety for as long as you're a minor that there is a possibility this person may show up at your house at some point. And that anxiety is fucking torture. I know it firsthand, I know all of this up to the legal portion firsthand, because this is exactly how I got tangled up with a pedophile in high school. That anxiety can make you paranoid. It impacts your sleep, which impacts your emotional tolerance and your concentration. It looms and there's nothing you can do to get rid of it other than convince yourself "they probably don't have my address; they probably won't find me". And that logic becomes sounder as time passes. But it requires time to pass, and in the meantime, you sit in constant suffering suspense.

It's just not fucking worth it, okay? You might think "this would never happen to me" but like. I was the fat emo weirdo in high school, literally considered attractive by no one and told so by peers and I still had it happen to me. So don't think "I'm not appealing enough" or whatever. Put self-esteem issues aside here, because to them, you're underage and at a power dynamic disadvantage not just physically, but most likely emotionally too. They care that you're a certain (under)age and can be manipulated into sexual acts. They will target you no matter how ugly you think you are or how unattractive your peers have convinced you.

So please. As an adult, that went through this situation (and could've had it turn out a lot worse tbh) -- do not disclose your real name (especially last names), location more specific than country, phone number, or school publicly online or to anyone you cannot 100% trust. I practice half of these in adulthood just to err on the side of caution since a full name and phone number alone could be used to find my address, and there are some preeeeetty unstable people out there. As a minor, absolutely no one needs any information unless you plan on meeting them in person, which should only be done after you've gotten to know them extremely well and both parties' parents know and are involved. It doesn't need to be on your public profile, and it shouldn't be on your public profile. I want your social media experience to be as enjoyable as possible, I don't want you feeling like you have to constantly keep an eye out for predators. But to keep yourself as safe as possible, don't purposefully make that information public. It's simple, but it’ll help you avoid so much potential stress.

Please stay safe.

[theres-a-goldensky]

30 More The Untamed Fic Recs

Here we go again. Another Wangxian rec list. Are you bored of me yet?

Were these recs helpful to you? If so, you can check out my other Wangxian rec posts:

Part 1 - 40 recs

Part 2 - 23 recs

Part 3 - 23 recs

As ever, feel free to reblog.

You can also head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

(All recs are complete) (I’ve noted pairings, length, and rating, but not any warnings or additional tags.)

** denotes personal favorite

1. say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn - ~69,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Lan Zhan meets Wei Wuxian after he adopts a small A-Yuan, because Wei Wuxian also has a past with him. Lots of adorable family feelings and emotional hurt/comfort.

As often happened, Wei Ying’s voice preceded his entrance, calling to his co-worker through the open door, “Frankie, they forgot to order spoons again, can you hold down the fort a little longer while I —”

Lan Wangji was already looking to his entrance, head turning as if magnetized toward the voice, so he saw the moment when Wei Ying’s eyes landed on A-Yuan and the smile fell from his face. He looked stricken, and Lan Wangji immediately looked to his son in alarm. A-Yuan seemed fine. His small eyebrows were pulled together in a small frown as he looked back at Wei Ying, but that wasn’t surprising, given the expression on Wei Ying’s face. Lan Wangji had seen that face beaming, laughing, whining, wheedling, and occasionally angry, but never like this. He looked blank and hollow and it stirred something fierce in Lan Wangji: he wanted to rise up and obliterate whatever was making him look like that. Then his eyes lifted to Lan Wangji and there was a flash of something almost like betrayal, before he pressed his lips together and turned his back.

“I’m going to run out to the store and get spoons,” he said in a flat voice to his co-worker, and left without looking their way again.

2. the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships - ~41,000 words, mature - This is an AU of the novel where Wei Wuxian puts two and two together when Lan Zhan sneaks that kiss from him. It changes a lot of things.

Against his own will, Wei Wuxian found himself glancing at Lan Wangji’s hands. They were… certainly large enough that one of them could wrap around both of his wrists. And Lan Wangji was certainly strong enough, tall enough, broad-shouldered enough to bodily pin him against the trunk of a tree with no chance of him breaking free. Lan Wangji was the first person he’d come across in his slow comb through the vicinity of where he’d been so headily kissed.

Wei Wuxian drew a sharp breath. There was a connection to be made here. He didn’t think he was crazy enough to make it. Perhaps he truly was going slightly insane with demonic cultivation if he could believe Lan Wangji, the paragon of virtue and respectability, who lived unflinchingly under Gusu Lan’s three thousand edicts, who had at best only tolerated his presence as children, would sneak up to him while he was blindfolded, pin him against a tree, and steal a kiss from him in broad daylight.

3. and his wanting grows teeth by yukla - ~25,000 words, teen - This is a very interesting AU where Lan Zhan is a traveling cultivator and runs into Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs looking for shelter during a snowstorm. No spoilers, but this fic goes to a pretty dark place that genuinely shocked me, but I enjoyed. (Still ends well though.)

Without further ado, they are hustled past the entrance and into a smaller greeting area. Huang-bobo approaches the brazier in the center with his hands outstretched, warming his fingers in the heat, but Lan Wangji hangs back. As he carefully brushes the snow free from his shoulders, he feels the burn of a curious gaze trailing up and down his body, lingering at the guqin still strapped to his back; when the sensation pauses at his face and stays there, he lifts his head.

The boy with the ribbon lights up at the eye contact, flashes another dazzling smile, and gives a little wave.

“You must be new here,” he whispers, something like laughter threaded into his voice, eyes scrunching into winking half-moons. “All dressed up in white like that! You might lose yourself in the snowstorm!”

Something stirs to life in Lan Wangji’s chest. It’s—uncomfortable, he decides, and so he steps away. Teasing should not be encouraged with a response.

4. Ghosts Shouldn't by ShanaStoryteller - ~15,000 words, not rated - After Wei Ying's death, his spirit seems to linger. The story is told from Lan Xichen's point of view. I love an outsider point of view. I also love the way the author fleshes out his character as well.

Lan Xichen means to force his way inside, angry ghost of the Yiling Patriarch or no, but then his brother lets out slow breath, settling, the pain easing from his face as he falls back into a more peaceful sleep.

His hair is moving on its own, so subtly Lan Xichen might not have noticed it if he hadn’t been looking at Wangji so intently. It’s like someone’s running their hand through his hair.

The window frosts over suddenly, thick enough that he can’t see through it. Anxiety spikes through him so quickly he’s nauseous with it, but then the frost melts away and the opening notes of Healing start up again.

He can’t tell if it’s a warning or not. Maybe it’s just an acknowledgement. Wei Wuxian knows he’s there.

5. **leading tone by silencemostofall - ~32,000 words, general - This is a modern AU set in a world where people who love you leave a mark of color on you the first time you touch. Wei Wuxian has no color on him. So much emotional hurt/comfort. So much of Wei Wuxian's terrible self-esteem.

He can cover up his palms with his gloves, so that the blankness does not draw stares. But he has no marks on his fingertips, which he cannot easily hide, and none visible on his face or neck, the blankness of which is even more difficult to hide. People look at him and, with a single glance, understand the single most devastating truth that he knows about himself.

They assume that he does not have very many marks. He may be an eccentric, dramatic person, but the likelihood that an individual has all of their marks on, say, their feet or their torso or other places that are not immediately obvious-- that probability goes down as your number of marks increases. He can laugh as much as he wants about how he loves touching people for the first time with odd places, like the knee or the elbow, but it doesn't quite mask the feeling of other that he knows he exudes.

They assume that he does not have a lot of marks. This, while a heavy weight, is not unbearably so. It is okay that they think he is not much loved. It chafes a bit, and feels occasionally like something he has to furiously push down within himself, but it is not unbearable. What would be unbearable is if they knew the truth: that he does not just have very few marks, but none. That he is simply an individual who is not loved at all.

6. **pastel by antebunny - ~7,000 words, gen - This is a remix work of the above fic. It's from Lan Zhan's point of view and just different enough to be interesting. Still lots of emotional hurt/comfort. I love this concept a whole lot, and both of these fics are great.

It’s a simmering day in May, and Wei Ying is wearing long sleeves, long pants, and gloves.

His choice of dress isn’t unusual for many reasons. For one, there’s plenty of people who don’t like strangers seeing their soulmarks. There’s plenty of people who wish to keep them private by covering them up. For another, Wei Ying spends most of his day in various chilly computer science department rooms, He could just be wearing long sleeves for that.

7. one good thing by Yuu_chi - ~27,000 words, teen - Wei Wuxian has died (or did he??) and is haunting his old home. Lan Zhan moves in. This story has a happy ending! And so much yearning!

To the flowers struggling to grow on the other side of the glass, he says, “We’re getting a new roommate. Well, I’m getting a new roommate - you’re getting somebody who might actually be able to water you for a change.” The flowers outside sway a little in the breeze, and Wei Wuxian nods contemplatively. “He can’t be any worse than the last guy who lived here. Remember when I spooked him while he was cooking and he nearly burnt the house down? Of course you don’t. You’re fucking foliage, your memory is worse than mine. I remember though, so it’s cool.”

There’s the sound of shuffling behind him and Wei Wuxian looks up to see the stranger has entered the kitchen, setting the last of the boxes down on the table. Disgustingly neat handwriting declares the box kitchen - homeware. The stranger carefully brushes his hair back from his face and, without so much as a second of hesitation, cracks open the box and begins unpacking.

“Wow, you really don’t waste any time, do you?” Wei Wuxian marvels. “You literally just got here - who cares about unpacking? Sit down for a moment, breathe, have something to eat. It’s not going anywhere.”

8. with you, I am home by tellthemstories - ~47,000 words, mature - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is being forced to return home to entertain marriage proposals. So naturally instead he "convinces" Lan Zhan to pretend to date him. I love a good fake dating fic, and this one hits all the right beats.

Lan Zhan does that almost-smile thing that Wei Wuxian takes to mean he’s happy, or at the very least not-mad. “You don’t have any money.”

“Not true. I have the money from our last job, when we settled the vengeful spirit for the flower shop girl.” (He doesn’t. They have Lan Zhan’s money. Wei Wuxian spent his on a pack of loquats and three bottles of Emperor’s Smile wine.)

“Fine,” Wei Wuxian says. “Do it for me.”

Thinking back on it two weeks later, standing alone in the middle of Jin Ling’s graduation banquet and watching Lan Zhan walk away from him, Wei Wuxian realises that this, this was the moment when he should have known. He should have realised in the way Lan Zhan doesn’t hesitate or negotiate and just says with that half-fond, half-exasperated tone he gets sometimes, “Fine.”

9. and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen - ~11,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying can't find Lan Zhan, but hey, there happens to be a rabbit here instead. Features a very slow Wei Ying, emotional hurt/comfort and accidental love confessions.

Immediately, his heart settles and he grins down at his new friend. “Oh, hello there,” he coos, reaching out to pet the fluffy ears. The bunny is very, very still under his hand.

“Did Lan Zhan bring you today?,” he continues cooing. “I’m sorry I missed that, but your Dad didn’t tell me he was bringing you.”

Lan Zhan rarely brings his rabbits to work since they are as tolerant of crowds and unnecessary noise as he is. They were probably relevant to today’s lesson but…

Wei Ying frowns. “Why would he leave you alone? And where is your cage?”

10. how, or when, or from where by sarahyyy - ~10,000 words, gen - Wei Ying wakes up in the hospital with amnesia and can't remember the last few years of his life, including his best friend and the guy he's in love with.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes so hard Wei Wuxian is surprised his eyeballs don’t just fall out of his eye sockets. “That’s the worst part. He did. Whatever mating ritual you both have going on is so fucking weird, Wei Wuxian.” He snorts. “If you’d stayed asleep for any longer, I’d have lost my shit and thrown my myself out a window just so I wouldn’t have to talk to Lan Wangji again.”

Wei Wuxian blinks at him. “Is this a good time to ask who Lan Wangji is?”

Jiang Cheng glares at him. “Your Lan Zhan,” he says, annoyed. Wei Wuxian must look as confused as he feels, because Jiang Cheng’s annoyance bleeds out into concern. “Your Lan er-gege? Your soulmate, Lan Wangji?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “No bells are ringing.”

11. ** a shared plate by yukla - ~26,000 words, teen - This is an absolutely gorgeous fic about Wei Wuxian traveling the world post-canon to rediscover himself and restore his faith in humanity and eventually find his way back to Lan Zhan. The whole thing is great, but the last two chapters are just *chef's kiss*

Lan Zhan,

Just as the mountains stand unchanging and the green rivers flow ceaselessly, we will meet again — and between then and now, you cannot hope to avoid my letters, either! Haha! Lan Zhan, I’ve seen so many things and met so many people, and it’s only been a month!

I miss you already

It’s so hot that I find myself missing the wind in Gusu’s mountains. Your poor Wei Ying is I’m melting away, Lan Zhan...

I’m realizing now, sixteen years is a long time to be away — the world is vast, and quite a bit different than I remembered. And in sixteen years, a child can also grow up into a man! It’s your job to catch me up on A-Yuan’s fun childhood stories! I do remember hearing something about a pile of rabbits...

12. with your arms outstretched to me by annemari - ~14,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan finally gets up the nerve to ask Wei Ying on a date, but things don't go as expected. Features emotional hurt/comfort (are we sensing a theme with these recs??) and just regular hurt/comfort.

"Oh, man, I was hoping you had some water with you," Wei Ying says. "I totally forgot to bring any for myself. Stupid of me."

"There is enough for both of us," Lan Wangji says. He has another bigger bottle in the car, as well.

Wei Ying hums but he only takes a few sips. He presses it back into Lan Wangji's hand. "I don't need any more."

Lan Wangji is considering arguing, but then Wei Ying shifts a bit, moving his ankle, and gasps very, very quietly.

13. ** A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart - ~22,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian has finished traveling and returned to the Cloud Recesses and Lan Zhan. But their lives never do run smoothly.

“Lan Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, recognizing him after a moment. His heart slams against his rib cage. “Where is Lan Zhan? What’s happened?”

Lan Jingyi flaps a hand at him, gulping air. Wei Wuxian hands him the water, and leans back against Little Apple’s side as he waits impatiently for the boy to get his breath back.

“I’m so glad I found you,” Jingyi gasps, just as Wei Wuxian is about to throttle a proper answer out of him. “Hanguang Jun was in such a state when he woke up, we didn’t know if you’d come and gone already.”

“Where is he, Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, as evenly as he can. “What happened?”

14. So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend - ~14,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel extraordinary pain unless he's touching Lan Zhan. Yet more of Wei Wuxian's self-esteem issues and Lan Zhan's steadfast devotion.

“Are you hurt, Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asks, pressing his hand to Wei Ying’s forehead to feel his temperature. There is no fever, but that doesn’t do much to mitigate Lan Wangji’s worries.

“No—I’m not hurt,” says Wei Ying, sagging forward to lean his weight into Lan Wangji’s hand like he can’t help himself.

It’s so strange—Lan Wangji can feel what Wei Ying is feeling. Although the relief is still very profound, wisps of other things are making themselves known; happiness; wistfulness; guilt. It’s all so fleeting that Lan Wangji can’t even begin to deduce what has provoked those feelings, but he wishes he knew their source.

15. puzzle pieces by Anonymous - ~6,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are roommates, and Wei Ying has started borrowing Lan Zhan's clothes.

“Hm? Oh.” With sleepy eyes that does— things to Lan Zhan’s heart, he blinks and tugs at the lower hem of the shirt, which is riding just above the curve of his thighs. Does Lan Zhan’s mouth water? Maybe. Yes. Absolutely. “Ah, yeah, sorry. Laundry day caught up to me before I could catch up with it. I saw this shirt left in the washer a few days ago, and—“ He blinks up at Lan Zhan through dark eyelashes that Lan Zhan wants to kiss, maybe, and gives him an uncharacteristically hesitant smile. “Do you mind?”

I mind the fact that we are not married, Lan Zhan thinks. But he can’t say that, and his tongue doesn’t know how to say anything else. So he stays silent.

“Oh,” Wei Ying says after a moment. “If you—oh, damn, I should’ve known, this is like real silk, must’ve been super expensive. Fuck. Okay, here, uh, I’ll take it off—“

16. ** Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl - ~60,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Ying is trying to be a good brother and get Jiang Cheng laid. Somehow this plan involves pretending to date Lan Zhan.

"I won't!" Wei Ying insists. "I'll ask out someone...high stakes. I'll find someone. I'll...okay, how's this? I swear that I'll ask someone out and keep at it for at least two dates."

"No."

"Three dates."

"Nope."

"Okay, okay, five. That's fair! That's more than fair! One person, five dates." He points at Jiang Cheng. "You have to do it, too. That's how a pact works."

Jiang Cheng stares at him. "Five dates," he says flatly. "Five. And yours can't be Nie Huaisang."

17. i'm the one for your fire by occultings (microcomets) - ~43,000 words, explicit - This is a Modern AU and a Cherry Magic AU! (Side note: GO WATCH CHERRY MAGIC IF YOU HAVEN'T.) But in short, Wei Ying turns 30 without losing his virginity and gets the power to hear people's thoughts when he touches them. He gets more than he bargained for with Lan Zhan. The author does a good job of translating the story to these characters. Wei Ying is not forced to be like Adachi, the main character of Cherry Magic. He's still himself, and the same goes for Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan’s voice is so clear, so sudden that it’s as though it’s spoken, the slice of a sharp object through velvet.

He’s touching me.

Wei Ying startles for a moment, wonders if he’d somehow heard his own thoughts instead, but — no, that had definitely been Lan Zhan’s steady, factual baritone, loud and clear.

God, this is still so weird. It still doesn’t seem totally real. But how else can he account for hearing Lan Zhan’s voice in his head, as clearly as if he’d spoken to Wei Ying directly?

18. like blue flame over my fingertips by tangerinechar - ~37,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are roommates, and Lan Zhan just finds himself wanting to take care of Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji’s roommate. Is a problem.

He doesn’t get an answer to the roommate problem until the next morning, when Lan Xichen texts him telling him that the apartment he’d suggested (and helped pay rent for) to Lan Wangji said in the small text that it’d be two people per apartment, the second bedroom wasn’t actually a guest bedroom, sorry, Wangji, you can move in with me if you want, I have space —

No. Thank you for your kind offer, Brother, but I will be quite fine, Lan Wangji texts back.

19. ** some impulse of delight by handclaps - ~20,000 words, explicit - College AU where Wei Ying decides he needs to help Lan Zhan get used to touching people. Lan Zhan agrees. Wei Ying is dumb and in love. Lan Zhan is less dumb, but still as in love.

Lan Zhan shakes his head and fumbles, tries to push the cotton wool into Wei Wuxian’s hand.

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says, realising. “Touching people, I know.”

He feels dumb. He thought he’d worn Lan Zhan down more than this, that they were friends now and that his whole no touching thing was mostly overcome. He took Wei Wuxian’s hand easily, right? He looks down at his belly full of scratches, dabbing at them moodily.

“Sorry,” he says, again.

Lan Zhan makes some kind of noise, but he is busy packing the first aid kit back, placing everything exactly where it was before.

“Lan Zhan, you’re going to have to do something about this,” Wei Wuxian complains. “I know you don’t like touching people and usually it plays as a kind of gentlemanly thing, but what about emergencies?”

20. And I Will Call You Home by Spodumene - ~43,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian returns after a year of traveling and rejoins Lan Zhan in the Cloud Recesses. He's doing a good job of pining and ignoring the obvious. Look, at this point, it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm a sucker for stories where Wei Wuxian deals with his ~*~issues~*~ and Lan Zhan takes care of him, whether he asks for it or not. This story has lots of that. I also enjoyed the case fic aspect of it.

“I do, I think,” Wei Wuxian admits. “Would be nice to see his face again after so long. And at least this time, I’m going to show up draped in finery. What do you think, Lan Zhan? I can’t possibly disgrace him—or you—wearing a cloak like that.”

“You could never disgrace me,” Lan Wangji says gently, that soft, affectionate look back on his face.

Wei Wuxian grins, warmed to the tips of his toes.

“I’ll remind you of that later. The next time I’m three jars deep and feeling especially shameless, you’ll have to remember those words, Lan Er-gege.”

“Of course,” Lan Wangji says simply.

Wei Wuxian smiles some more, overwhelmed by fondness.

21. darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter - ~7,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian really, really wants Lan Zhan to call him 'gege'. Lan Zhan knows a trump card when he sees one.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

Lan Wangji knows he will not stop, regardless of what he calls him. Still, he thinks about it. If there really is a way to make Wei Wuxian stop, should he not consider it? He doesn’t have any real interest in curbing his husband’s insatiable mischievousness, but he does like knowing things about him—everything there is to know.

If there’s something that persuasive in the world, that it can bring Wei Wuxian into submission when no one is under threat, could he stop himself from seeking it?

22. your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian - ~11,000 words, gen - Wei Wuxian & Lan Sizhui fic with the Wangxian in the background. Lan Sizhui wants another dad and Wei Wuxian wants a son, they just don't know how to explain that to each other.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

Lan Sizhui tucks his chin into his uncle’s shoulder, and lets his eyes fall closed.

“It doesn’t hurt too much, does it?” Wen Ning whispers to him kindly.

Lan Sizhui takes a deep breath, and takes stock of all his aches, his ringing ear, his hollow chest, the way he had selfishly wanted Wei Wuxian to keep speaking to him in that careful voice, like he was just a child to be soothed and there was no real danger. How dangerous, to pretend. “No,” he lies. “It doesn’t hurt that much at all.”

23. when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool - ~26,000 words, teen - AU where Lan Zhan with Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's one-month celebration. Things go down, and it leads to Lan Zhan discovering Wei Wuxian's missing golden core. This obviously will not do, and oh look, the best doctor in the world just happens to be right here.

“How—“ Lan Wangji chokes. “His core —?” He looks at Wen Ning, half accusatory in his shock. “Jin Zixun could not have—“

“No, no!” Wen Ning says, holding out his hands. “He hasn’t had one for years, don’t worry!”

This is not as reassuring as Wen Ning seems to think.

“Please explain,” Lan Wangji says, pained. He feels for Wei Wuxian’s pulse instead; in the absence of a golden core, it will have to do as reassurance that he’s still alive.

Wen Ning is so anxious that the story comes out in a ramble, out of order. Lan Wangji wants him to hurry up, but he’s also not confident in his own ability to speak, so he just keeps quiet and lets him talk. His heart feels as if it’s about to fall from his chest, beating nearly twice as fast as Wei Wuxian’s does under his fingers.

24. A Match in the Making by lareine - ~30,000 words, teen - A Modern AU where Wei Wuxian sees his single and bad ass friend Lan Zhan and his single and bad ass friend Mianmian and gets some very dumb ideas.

To return to the point: Lan Zhan was peak adulting. Mianmian was peak adulting. And if they were both at the peak, then they were on the same level. What level? That mysterious level thing that everyone mentioned when it came to dating.

Whatever level it was, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were on it together. Wei Ying nodded to himself. So, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were allowed to date each other. The next question was: were they compatible? Did they have chemistry or whatever the fuck people called it?

25. Crack me open, pour you out by Tenillypo - ~16,000 words, explicit - Lan Zhan gets cursed to say whatever he's thinking. So his worst nightmare. Mutual pining, first time, all good stuff.

Lan Wangji freezes with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, lifting his eyes to stare at Wei Ying.

"I know! Just completely paralyzed." Wei Ying mimes being still as a board. "I don't know how long I lay there. It must have been two days at least. Good thing for Little Apple. He wandered back to the village when he got hungry, and eventually a few of them got brave enough to come look for me. When they rolled me over, the figure fell out of my hand and I could move again. Cunning little thing." He shakes his head. "I was weak as a kitten for a little while after they took me back to the village, and by the time I recovered, they'd burned the whole place to the ground. Such a waste."

Lan Wangji slowly lowers his chopsticks, heart racing unpleasantly. In his head, a picture of Wei Ying slowly wasting to death alone in the middle of the woods, with Lan Wangji a hundred miles away and none the wiser.

26. Crazy, Rich Cultivators by ShanaStoryteller - 13,000 words, no rating - Lan Zhan wants to bring his boyfriend home to meet his family. There are some things he definitely didn't realize about Wei Ying.

“He has a life here,” he says down the line. He doesn’t say that he has a life here too, one he likes a lot more than the one he had before. He misses home. He’d miss Wei Ying more. But he doesn’t say that, doesn’t say how vibrant he is and how beautiful and how little interest Lan Zhan has at seeing him among the high society he grew up with.

“Well, your life is here, Wangji,” his brother says. “You can’t stay away from home forever. You’re going to have to see how he does with the rest of us sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.”

It might as well be never, as far as he’s concerned. His family can meet Wei Ying at their wedding.

“I’ll ask,” he says.

Wei Ying has no interest in cultivation politics. They’re horrible, the five clans have an iron tight alliance that’s thirty seconds away from collapsing in on itself the moment someone from one sect steps on another sect’s toes. It’s the worst and he hates it. Surely even just the idea of it will be so horrifying to Wei Ying that Lan Zhan will be able to tell his brother no.

27. just our hands clasped so tight by electrum ~4,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan really, really, really just wants to give Wei Ying everything he wants.

“Despite your best efforts,” Wei Wuxian agrees. He shakes his head in mock-dismay. “How much longer do you think that will last if you keep buying everything I look at?” When this, too, fails to soften Lan Zhan’s resolve, he tries a different tactic. “We couldn’t even afford potatoes,” he says. “Back when I was with the Wens, at the Burial Mounds. Only radishes! If I survived that, I can certainly survive without another pretty comb.”

Lan Zhan’s expression is at once unmoved and yet somehow stricken. “I would have bought Wei Ying potatoes,” he says, like Wei Wuxian doesn’t know, by this point, that Lan Zhan would buy him anything. “If I had known…”

28. ** Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller - ~64,000 words, no rating - Jin Ling & Wei Wuxian with Wangxian in the background. Jin Ling is the best boy! And as he tries to rehabilitate his sect and his family and keep himself alive at the same time, he realizes, horrifyingly, that he has to be the mature one.

29. ** an act too often neglected by Ariaste - Lan Xichen / Meng Yao, ~61,000 words, explicit - The Wangxian is in the background here, but the main story is about Lan Xichen meeting Meng Yao on a dating app and getting immediately dickmatized. Meanwhile. Meng Yao refuses to be won over by Lan Xichen's charm. It goes as well as you'd expect for him.

The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

Lan Xichen feels a low simmer of arousal kindle in the pit of his stomach, and he gazes at that word-- demanding --for nearly as long as he’d stared at the photograph. He swipes right.

A few minutes later, a notification pops up: < Hm, the size of your hands is promising.

This is familiar. This is the flirtation stage. Lan Xichen knows the steps to the dance.

30. My Land Beneath Me by longleggedgit - ~30,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is cast out of his sect and out of China to America. And Lan Zhan just...follows.

Lan Zhan always waited for his tea to cool before drinking, which meant he had nothing to do but give Wei Wuxian a judgmental look. “No more McDonald’s.”

“You’re just bitter because you get indigestion from anything that actually tastes good,” Wei Wuxian grumbled.

Because Lan Zhan was insufferably mature and patient, he didn’t rise to the bait. “We have time to stop somewhere before class,” he said.

“Fine. But you’re paying this time.”

It was a bad joke, and predictably, fell flat; Lan Zhan was, after all, paying for everything, every time. Wei Wuxian frowned into his mug.

“You know,” he said, after another swallow, “you really don’t have to be here. I’m going to figure something out.”

*

Interested in 86 more The Untamed fic recs?

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