#feel free to reblog and help me find more writing partners if you feel so inclined <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[blessedbyhecate]

blessedbyhecate

chaos and moon dust

semi-selective. independent. original characters. penned by moss. 26. xe/xem.

rules | nav | opens

[goldenboybridgers]

goldenboybridgers

Golden as I open my eyes. I don't wanna be alone.

rules | about | starters

[thebarneschronicles]

The Barnes Chronicles Masterlist

Welcome to The Barnes Chronicles Masterlist!

Hi there! I’m so glad you’ve found your way to my little corner of the internet. Here, you’ll find all of my writing for Bucky Barnes stories, conveniently organized in one place. Whether you're in the mood for fluff, angst, or something a little spicier, I hope you’ll find something that speaks to you.

I also accept requests! If you’ve got an idea for a fic, feel free to send it my way— I'm always looking for new ideas to bring to life. Thank you for all the love and support; your reblogs, comments, and likes mean the world to me!

Now, go ahead and explore The Barnes Chronicles. 💙

ONE SHOTS The Edge of Patience

Word Count: 1.8k

You’re no stranger to the overprotective nature of your boyfriend, Bucky Barnes. After a heated argument about wanting to join him and Sam on their missions, you knowingly push his buttons until his patience snaps. What starts as a battle of wills turns into a raw, unrestrained encounter—punishing, heated, and entirely irresistible.

A Quiet Escape

Word Count: 6.3k

During a holiday stay at Clint Barton’s home, you’ve been desperately trying to steal a moment alone with Bucky—your super-soldier boyfriend—but the Avengers are constantly interrupting. Between Clint’s kids, Steve’s “bromantic” grocery runs, and Nat pulling Bucky into sparring sessions, it feels like you’re constantly fighting for his attention. Frustration finally boils over when you confront Bucky about your lack of privacy, only to discover he’s just as eager for some alone time as you are - and willing to do anything to get it.

Stuck With Me Word Count: 3.3k When Bucky returns home after a mission, his unexpected transformation leaves you speechless and you can’t help but tease him about it. As playful banter shifts to deep, tender moments, your desire and frustration collide in an encounter that leaves you breathless, unable to resist the pull of a love that refuses to age. Nine Lives Word Count: 9.4k

Bucky Barnes drives you insane—in every possible way. The bickering, the reckless plans, the way he smirks like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you. But when a mission goes sideways, leaving you both bloodied and too close for comfort, the tension between you ignites into something impossible to ignore.

You can keep pretending. Keep fighting him. But Bucky isn’t one to back down—especially when he knows you don’t really want him to.

Out of Depth, Into You

Word Count: 8.3k

Bucky Barnes was supposed to get in and out. Simple. Clean. But Hydra had other plans.

An ambush leaves him broken, bleeding, and barely standing—and you’re the only thing keeping him upright. Trapped in a safehouse, patching him up with shaking hands, you realize the truth you’ve been avoiding: you almost lost him. And that scares you more than anything.

Because Bucky isn’t just your mission partner. He’s yours.

And maybe… just maybe, he’s known it all along. --

SERIES

Closer To Home Series A shared universe of Bucky Barnes x Female Reader stories exploring love, trust, and the journey of healing.

Closer To Home Word Count: 5.5k As you settle into your new role as the team’s “girl in the chair,” helping Sam and Bucky with their missions, you find yourself increasingly drawn to Bucky's intense presence. His brooding silence is matched only by his watchful eyes, and despite his gruff exterior, your kindness begins to chip away at his walls. When Bucky insists on walking you home one night, clyou chalk it up to his old-fashioned sense of duty and think nothing of it. But as the night unfolds, you realize there’s far more behind his actions than just good manners, and your growing feelings for him may not be as hidden as you think.

Closer To Home II The next chapter in the Closer To Home universe. Word Count: 12.4k Somewhere between stolen glances, late-night conversations, and the careful way he protects your space, Bucky Barnes has quietly claimed a part of your heart. His brooding silence gives way to tender moments in the warmth of your apartment on a snowy night, where shared vulnerabilities reveal the man behind the soldier. Slowly, you navigate the spaces between his old-fashioned values and your modern perspective, learning each other one touch, one laugh, and one unspoken promise at a time. As trust deepens and emotions stir, the fragile connection you’ve built feels both delicate and undeniable—something neither of you is ready to let slip away.

Closer To Home III The third installment in the Closer To Home series - what could a snowstorm do for these two? Word Count: 8.9k Synopsis: Snowed in with Bucky Barnes, you find comfort in playful banter, lingering touches, and the quiet intimacy of a morning spent wrapped in each other. But beneath the teasing smiles and warmth of shared laughter, something deeper stirs—something neither of you are ready to name. When a visit to his empty apartment reveals just how much he still struggles to believe he deserves more, your carefully guarded feelings come crashing down. And as walls crumble, as confessions slip through the cracks, Bucky begins to understand: maybe, just maybe, he was always meant to find home in you.

Closer To Home IV The next part of the story promises a lot of emotion... where do they go after her breakdown? Word Count: 8.7k Synopsis: The storm changed everything. A week spent trapped together, moving around each other like it was second nature. Mornings spent wrapped in his warmth, nights spent unraveling under his hands. And now, the words you’ve been swallowing for months are fighting to break free and you don’t know how much longer you can keep them in. You love him. And he knows it. But love has never been easy for Bucky. And if you say it—if you let yourself finally speak the truth—will it pull him closer, or will it send him running?

Closer To Home Blurbs Navigating the Ordinary What starts as a lunch invitation quickly spirals into an unexpected errand to the local CVS, where playful banter about modern absurdities and a deep dive into his dating history lead to unexpected revelations. For Science Science demands answers. And when your boyfriend happens to be a genetically enhanced super soldier, well… some questions are simply too intriguing to ignore.

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

[sister-lucifer]

Brian/Hoodie, Toby, + Eyeless Jack with a chubby S/O

Brian, Toby, + EJ x Gender Neutral Reader (Separately)

[Anonymous Request]

Genre: Fluff + NSFW

Content/Warnings: NSFW but no smut, lots of body talk (all positive), so if that makes you uncomfortable be aware, oral sex (reader receiving), Toby likes to suck titties, Toby is very handsy 

A/N: i’m almost definitely projecting on this one cuz i have a chubby partner and i lub him🥺 

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

Brian 

[SFW]

Brian’s a pretty lanky lad, he’s built like stickbug 

So having a chubby S/O would be a WONDERFUL contrast for him!

His favorite thing is being able to use you as a human weighted blanket 

He cant fall asleep without you, not after that first snuggle session! Your presence is so warm and calming 

You’re just perfect for cuddles, especially spooning 

Any excuse he has to wrap his arms around you, he’s taking it, 100% 

Big bear hug with a playful squeeze to boot 

+ He’s asking you to sit on his lap any chance he gets 

Oh there are three other chairs you could use? But he loves you:( Sit with him:( He’s just a little guy:(

( (manipulatively) )

I’m sure we all know that finding plus sized clothes that are cute but not expensive as FUCK is way too hard, but that problem is completely out the window now 

Brian has mad sewing skills, so he can alter OR duplicate anything you’d like! 

(The only catch is he has to make/get a matching one for himself, this is non-negotiable, sorry) 

[NSFW] 

Of course, we can’t always be family friendly wholesome here 

Let’s just say he loves having so much soft, plush skin to grab onto 

This man is a head giving god, like ridiculously skilled 

And not only that, he really enjoys doing it. For him it can sometimes be more enjoyable than the actual sex part 

He looooves grabbing onto your thighs and hips while he eats you out, just grabbing handfuls of everything he possibly can 

He gets really into giving oral too, like closing his eyes and moaning and just giving it his all, completely invested 

He’s gripping on for dear life 

Don’t be surprised if you have bruises in the shape of his fingertips 

And if you’re feeling especially generous, make sure you squeeze his head with your thighs 

It’s his fave ❤️ 

Toby 

[SFW]

Honestly this segment is gonna be pretty short 💀

Writing anything SFW for Toby is hard, he’s too much of a horndog 

He’s also a cuddle bug much like Brian, so a lot of those headcanons could apply to him 

He’s very tactile so he tends to be grabby, especially with your thighs and love handles 

Not even exclusively in a sexual way, a lot of the time it’s really just a sensory thing 

His hands just absentmindedly wander, and you just happen to be close by most of the time 

He’s not a big fan of anyone or anything laying on top of him at all since it makes him feel trapped, so he likes laying on top of you instead! 

It really helps calm him down after he gets hyper or upset 

[NSFW]

Forgive me if this is a controversial take, BUT: 

Toby is a boobs guy 

And I don’t just mean breasts, I don’t just mean AFAB chests

Any sort of soft chest fat will do 

He’s using his mouth a loooot, sucking and biting and leaving little marks all over your chest and nipples 

And every chance he gets he will grab your chest 

You could be fully clothed doing something completely unrelated to him and if he walks by he’s slipping his hands under your shirt 

He’s grabbing everything tbh 

Once again, it’s a sensory thing that can wind up horny 

He loves your thighs even more than Brian does 

Thigh jobs are his fave ever, not only because your thighs are easy to get to at all times but because they’re so warm and soft and perfect!! 

And the entire time his wandering mitts are squeezing and groping every bit of skin he can get to 

Jack

[SFW] 

Since EJ can’t exactly rely on his sight, he has to use his other senses, one of the most common ones being touch 

He can be touchy too, but not in the same way Toby is 

He doesn’t grab or squeeze or anything, he simply runs his hands over you, often over your clothes 

He likes feeling the softness and the curves of your body, just tracing his fingers over your hips and tummy 

Especially holding your face, rubbing his thumbs over your round cheeks and admiring your beauty in his own way 

He also headbutts like a cat when he wants attention, so don’t he surprised when you randomly feel his face against your stomach or leg 

If you really wanna show him love, let him lay on your chest while you scratch his head 

He likes to be able to listen to your heartbeat 

Jack has many animal like behaviors, one of those being kneading or ‘making biscuits’ like a cat 

If he’s kneading the soft skin of your stomach or thighs, that’s how you know he’s suuuuuper comfortable 

Like, as comfortable as he can possibly get 

Be prepared to be used as a pillow very often 

[NSFW] 

Jack is also good at giving head, but not in the same way Brian is 

He’s not as skilled or practiced, but you can’t go wrong with up to five squirming tentacle tongues working to get you off at any given time 

(Plus, he purrs, which basically turns his mouth into a vibrator) 

He also really enjoys fingering you, and will often use his hands and tongue at the same time 

Your insides are just so warm and soft, and he’s attracted to that heat 

He could get lost in your warmth and sweet taste 

He’ll run his hands gently over your body the entire time, and it’s certainly not unusual for him to knead during these sorts of activities 

He likes to lick you as well, and if you allow him to get a bit carried away, he’ll run his tongue up and down your body 

There’s just something about your plush skin and wonderful curves that completely captivate him in a way that nothing else can 

[ixhika-jsx]

BLACK SWAN- ✧˖°BTS Challenge - 𐙚

Main concept: of this challenge is that I have to bring my passions back to life that died long ago

Bit inspired by @zzzzzestforlife 🍾🫶🏻

As in song's lyrics of 'black swan'

"If this can no longer resonate, no longer make my heart vibrate, then like this may be how I die my first death."

[ You can reblog this post and start this challenge by yourself after adding your own goals under the reblogged post of yours... :)) ]

[ Academics:- ᥫ᭡🎐

As to bring back my interest in studies there are some goals of mine and some tips (I am referring myself as 'you' as some external force for myself) 🎀

☆ By the mid of September you must be on track in academics - complete notes and zero backlogs , regular revision ! 📄❕️❕️

☆ 📌 Complete pw modules till December

☆ work on weak chapters🗯 - relation and functions , trigonometry , periodic classification and topic electronic configuration of chapter - 2 of chemistry 💨

☆ listen to podcasts like 'ACADEMIC VALIDATION'🗒and 'YOUR A+ LIFE'📈 while studying mathematics. (As I kinda not get maths yk )

☆ study along with study vloggers - 'STUDY WITH ME' 🩰 because it helps when you find a 'partner' in studying.

☆ Have a mindset that you are not a student but you are a employee working for a greater position in your job or for greater income....🏷 which means position- topper or sum and income - grades ⏳️

☆ while studying physics you should use whiteboard 📇cuz I know it gets boring at times so yea

☆ for chemistry I would say that read books and make pretty pretty notes 🪄 and if you still can't study it then just watch some study vlogs and restart 🎲 (it helps me sometimes)

☆ study computer science chapter of - 'PYTHON' 🖥 whenever you get time as of getting mind off STEM subjects

[ Workout :- ᥫ᭡ 🎳

☆ I know it's not easy getting off bed but just use 1-2-5 minute rule 🎗

-stand up for 1 minute and drink some water

- start off with some stretching next for 2 minutes

- do 4 plank sessions in 5 minutes or any other favourite exercise move of yours

(This is my concept btw) And this will help about 70 percent to actually get you up.🥊

☆ do pilates in case you don't feel like exercising⛳️

☆ do 'lazy' stretching either before sleeping ot after sleeping.🎯

☆ walk minimum 6k steps a day♠️

[ Hobbies/Extra curricular :- ᥫ᭡ 🎱

☆ subscribe/follow to multiple dance pages so you automatically get the urge to dance🪀

☆ watch your idol dancing...it helps🧩

☆ dance atleast twice a week no matter what , even if you have to force it. It will individually get better if you were some day passionate bout it once.👯🏻‍♀️

☆ start writing your incomplete book by visualizing the scenes of the book...may help sometimes🖇

☆ during breaks from studies play basketball even for 5 minutes... put your phone away and walk around with your basketball around you then you will automatically feel the urge.🏀

☆ take part in school activities as much as you can....I get it that there is lot of academic work but it shouldn't stop you from being an all rounder🏆🏅

[ Social :- ᥫ᭡🥂

☆ cut people off...yea exactly CUT THEM OFF !! Lot of people don't really deserve you. You know who those people are.🌬

☆ don't get too comfy with some people. I get it that its your nature but keep that aside rn because it can be pressuring your self respect.🛑

☆ cut off atleast 3 people this year (atleast)💬

☆ don't be too kind to endure every other 'tease' of thiers. No this degrades your self respect and standards✋🏻

☆ if they are constantly mean then cut them off or just give them what they deserve(be the karma).🗣

☆ be as much confident as you can.you know nothing is cringe.... your definition of cringe is limiting you from your potential.🧭

So this is it for this challenge. I will regularly add more goals if needed and keep on updating my process.

You all are free to join :))🍾💐

[graciereadshannigram]

Hi! You don’t know me, I’m not a mutual and I’m new and essentially inactive so far on Tumblr aside from setting up my profile, so please prepare for an extremely random interaction. I’m clinging hard to the anonymous function here. I’m a somewhat new writer on ao3 in the Hannibal fandom. I’m mid 30s so maybe that’s part of it, but I know no one in the fandom world at all. Not in person or online. I just finally decided to try out writing after many years of reading and I’ve been loving it. Like you (based on your pinned post), I’ve historically mostly written academically and professionally, and flexing those muscles in this way is such a pleasure. I’ve read a lot of your stories on Ao3 and I loved them all. And you pop up a lot on the Hannibal dashboard on Tumblr and seem to be a pretty kind person, so I thought you might be someone I could ask this somewhat awkward question without judgment: how did you go about building your fannibal community (I’m just going off of tumblr comments in assuming that you have a fannibal fam)? Now that I’m writing, the urge to chat about random Hannibal thoughts or bounce ideas is overwhelming, and I get the impression most people have their fannibal crew as an outlet for that. Right now I’m just annoying the hell out of my completely disinterested partner who thinks I’m losing my mind lol. So I’m trying to figure out if there’s something I’m missing about how people connect in this world or if it’s just Tumblr and Ao3 and a stroke of luck? If you think this is weird, please feel free to leave me on read lol. No hard feelings at all, I feel weird enough about this as it is. But if you have any advice and wouldn’t mind sharing, I’d welcome it. Thanks and thanks for all your great writing!  

omg hi, this is such a sweet ask! genuinely honored that you'd reach out to me at all <3

funny you should mention annoying the hell out of your partner because SAME lolol that's what drove me to start this account in the first place.

so. i'm going to attempt to give a coherent response here, please bear with me.

when i first started out, i pretty much mass followed anybody who had a hannibal-related account and then just started interacting with people. it was mostly just commenting on or reblogging other people's stuff, and i felt wayyyyyyyy out of my comfort zone because, historically, i've been a massive lurker.

then i decided i wanted to do my monthly hannigram fic rec posts because i was tracking that data anyway and i just wanted to do something with it other than just letting it all rot in the spreadsheet never to see the light of day again. and turns out, a lot of people like to ask for and give fic recs! so that was a cool way to find cool myoots.

and then i got the itch to write and started to post Reciprocal Alchemy and was utterly blown away by the response people had. off the top of my head, @incidentsofunknownorigins, @coffee-in-rain, and @serri-i were all very vocally supportive from the jump and i pretty much was like, "hi we're going to be friends, no you don't have a choice, no i'm not sorry" lolol

and then i just kept writing and more people kept engaging (i'm still geeking over the fact that so many people enjoy my writing and are kind enough to make sure i know they like it <3) and here we are?? i think it was helpful that i linked my tumblr at the end of every chapter or fic that i post so people who find me on ao3 can come say hi here as well.

oh and i posted an insane amount of content in a very short amount of time for a popular event (kinktober was almost the death of me lolol) and that resulted in a wide variety of people seeing and reading my stuff.

all that is to say, you're pretty spot on with the tumblr/ao3/stroke of luck combination!

i have no idea if any of this was helpful for you, but hopefully something in here is :)

also, would love to be mutuals!! some of my best fic ideas come from random conversations i've had with other friends and writers, so let's go insane over these gay cannibals together!

all of my love, Grace

[whenmemorydies]

My meta/commentary shortcuts*

*putting all of this in one spot so its easier for me to find shit. feel free to like/reblog if this is helpful for you too. posts are in reverse chronological order by tv show/film.

The Bear (TV) - writings

Even if The Bear crashes and burns...

Where Carmy gives away that he wants to start more than one business with Syd.

When the mentor is a lesson: we all deserve respect

Analysis of the contrasts between Chef Fields (as foil to Chef Terry) and Sydney. In short: F stands for Fields and fascist. Includes reblog by @freedelusionshere on how "every second counts" applies in this comparison.

Sydney won't take Shapiro up on his offer

She has no time for disloyalty, smudges or snakes.

Are the shades of my family's old sandwich shop to be thus polluted?

Donna Berzatto is Lady Catherine de Bourgh and she might propel Carmy to confess his love to Sydney, despite her efforts to drive them apart.

What happened with Chi Chi, Chuckie and Richie?

No but really, what happened between these guys?

Chicken Piccata: a succession of inspiration

Follow this dish as it inspires a few folks involved in The Bear.

That's something

Prediction that the show will end with Pearl Jam's State of Love and Trust (+ some The Bear/Cameron Crowe meta for good measure).

On that season 4 teaser

My first prediction for season 4.

Another Storer/Calo musical deep cut

Eddie Vedder has another connection to The Bear, in addition to his heavy presence in the show's soundtrack.

Restitching scenes and dialogue to set up 1x01's meet cute

Or, why the usual gooey, mushy bullshit is not bailing us out in this romantic dramedy.

Chaos and Consistency

Consistency is the antidote to chaos and Carmy needs to figure out what Sydney and Marcus already know: making something consistent is not the same as being consistent.

You love taking care of people: Fine Dining in the Time of Late Stage Capitalism

How the fine dining industry helped create season 3 Chef Carmy and how it’s on its way out. A submission to #sydcarmyweek 2024

Carmy's sketches of Syd

Carmy sketches his soulmate a found family member while another found family member gives him shit for it. A submission to #sydcarmyweek 2024

Carmen, Natalie, and the Berzattos

A closer look, through the lens of intergenerational trauma, at the Berzattos and their impact on Carmy in season 3.

The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card: Part 2 (Timing)

A deduction as to why we see the hair claw in 3x01 and not in 3x09 with the scrunchie and prayer card in Carmy's apartment.

Breakdown of a racist microaggression in Ice Chips 3x08

Analysis of one of the more uncomfortable moments during Natalie's labour. Includes @vacationship's reblog with excellent meta re: Donna's POV.

See this? Carmy trying that shit with Tina

In which Carmy reverts from ally to a regret.

Reply to @mitocamdria on Sublimation and Shame

Theorising on sources of Carmy's shame.

The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card

Carmy's mementos as breadcrumbs back to his loves.

This needs to get good or go away.

Trauma-informed analysis of 1x07 The Review in light of seasons 1-3 of The Bear.

The things you learn...

Where Sydney learns some things about her spouse platonic business partner while dining with him.

Reply to @vacationship on Christopher Storer's cameo(s)

Storer makes an appearance in 3x06 Napkins but has he shown up at other times as well?

Reply to @moodyeucalyptus on Claire as a numbing agent/anaesthetic

Claire is a short term treatment while Sydney demands long term healing. Featuring an analysis of script choices for Sydney and Claire.

The legerdemain of racism: demands for season 4 of The Bear

Can The Bear rise to the challenge put forward by Toni Morrison?

Mikey's ghost and Claire as a reverse-engineered haunt

Reblog thread discussing the concept of "the haunt" in season 3 and how it likely relates to Claire - with @vacationship, @thoughtfulchaos773, @espumado, @kdbleu

Claire Dunlap = Clear [as] Mud

Reblog thread discussing the meaning behind Claire's name - with @currymanganese, @vacationship, @moodyeucalyptus, @ago0112

Richie and the viewer

Querying some 4th wall breaking by Tiff and Richie. With analysis in reblog by @currymanganese of Richie as Chris Storer's author avatar in the show.

Alone

Analysis of the use and editing of "Together" by Nine Inch Nails in 3x01 Tomorrow to convey elements of Carmy's trauma response.

Ancestors and The Bear

Analysis of culinary ancestry and legacy as they relate to Carm and Syd.

3x01 Tomorrow

Brief look at how the first episode of season 3 has been crafted through the lens of a traumatic episode. Also a remembering of my Ammamma.

Liveblog of my first watch of Season 3

Or don’t binge season 3 whilst in a feverish fugue state.

Lessons from a mentor: every second counts

Analysis of the parallels between Chef Terry and Sydney and what "every second counts" means to various characters in The Bear.

90s alternative rock, masculinity and The Bear

Analysis of the use of 90s alternative rock, including grunge, in The Bear's soundtrack, and its use to further the show's take up of masculinity.

3x06 Napkins

Predictions for the sixth episode of season 3. CW: discussion of suicide and suicidal ideation as it relates to Mikey; also contains discussion of the 'Napkins' scene in 1x08 Braciole and how its 2nd out of my top 3 tender scenes in The Bear.

2x06 Fishes (Copenhagen/Pantry scene)

Analysis of the Copenhagen/Pantry scene in 2x06 Fishes between Carmy and Mikey/ 3rd out of my top 3 tender scenes in The Bear.

Quit? And where you gonna go Ritchie?

Short analysis of Richie and Tina's relationship.

Reply to @sydcarmyfan on the story between Syd and Carm's clothes.

I mend clothes in my spare time and so does Syd.

2x09 Bolognese and Richie’s apology to Nat

Short analysis of Richie and Nat's relationship, based on a personal theory that Richie and Nat previously dated.

Reply to @hwere on if Syd was a white character

I wouldn't be watching the show, lmao.

Reply to @mod-doodles on what will happen when Syd finally lets her guard down with Carmen

Lucky ass man is not now nor will he ever be ready lol

Reply to @yannaryartside on gaslighting showrunners (lol)

The maths is mathing and all signs point to Sydcarmy endgame

Sydney is Carmen's best friend

Analysis of 2x03 Sundae and when Carm tells us that Syd is his best friend.

1x03 Brigade alley scene as a balm

A balm for the anxiety I felt when Season 3's episode list was released LOL.

Reply to @thoughtfulchaos773 on 1x03 Brigade alley scene

Thoughts on why the alley scene in 1x03 Brigade is my favourite Sydcarmy scene in The Bear (thus far).

Preliminary thoughts on The Bear, race, power and privilege

Analysis of The Bear and its approach to the white gaze (hint: it dgaf about it), power and privilege.

The Bear (TV) - image-based meta/snark

Sydney x Carmy - Mirroring

A non-exhaustive journey of some serious soulmatism through gifs.

Beautiful people do not just happen.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross summarises the premise of The Bear (with the help of a few gifs)

Blood ties and lineage

Charting the creative journey of an ingredient and a dish through Carmy and Syd's culinary ancestry.

Offerings

Love is a language and language is nothing if not pattern recognition. A look at Carmy's patterns.

Warm/Cold Light

Just gifs to make an unsubtle point (re: Sydcarmy & Clairmy)

Lunch or Dinner

Lyric/GIF set to Lunch or Dinner by Sunshine Anderson

Wet T-shirt Contest (Bridgerton vs The Bear edition)

Some of us get lakes in a garden, some of us get the Fak-ed toilet.

You're the most excellent CDC at the most ex...cel...le....

A journey to the end of Sydney's hero worship.

Coming Back

Lyric/GIF set to Coming Back by James Blake feat. SZA

Head Tilt (The Bear vs Bridgerton edition)

Sydney, don't do anything Anthony wouldn't do!

Syd and Carm making eye contact

Thats it.

Under the Bridge (TV)

Reply to @cairhienin on Under the Bridge and the actual murder of Reena Virk

Discussion of Reena Virk's murder and the absence of race in analysis of the case, then and now.

Monkey Man (Film)

Violence and Love in Monkey Man

Analysis of Monkey Man in the context of state violence and resistance. CW for mention of rape, murder and forced displacement.

Immediate reaction to Monkey Man

My immediate thoughts after watching Monkey Man in cinema.

[with-love-from-hell]

An update.

(Created June 9th, 2024)

Hello my lovely readers (both old and new). It has been a very hot minute since I have posted anything and I recognize that. I just wanted to give a short little update on some asks/comments I've been getting recently about my very low activity outside of reblogs.

A lot of stuff has happened personally over the past year or so that has left my thirst for writing completely dried up. I won't go into a lot of details, but there have been a lot of changes in friendships, amongst me training to be a supervisor at work (and completely changing my location of practice and working through a company merger), some more internal conflicts about whether me and my partner are having/adopting kids, amongst many other things. The time I would usually spend writing was during downtime at work, where I had no charting and many cancelations, and that has not been the trend lately- plus there is now a security blocker on my computer that completely blocks Tumblr from use, as well as Google Doc, which were previously the only two places I would draft my writings.

This is not me saying goodbye to writing all together. I still really love and enjoy it, but am needing to find some more free time and get back up the motivation to continue writing, which I have been hoping for over the past 9 or so months, but never happened. Because of this, I haven't moved my blog into "Hiatus", which I'm thinking I'm going to do now to avoid shame over having it open reciecing requests, and feeling too overwhelmed to even respond to them.

So for now, I am putting my blog into Hiatus.

Tips on Kofi are still accepted, but I will absolutely not be asking for any since I know I haven't been giving my all to writing lately, plus there are much more important things your money can be going to rn, like victims of the genocide in Palestine and Palestinian liberation.

In regards to my ongoing series:

I will eventually return to Melancholia, I really just don't know when. I likely will need to do a re-read of everything I've done with it and the parent series before that happens though, which is a lot to go through. I'm not making any promises, but my goal is to finish the series- I will say that much.

As for 5-sides: I completely stopped writing this one for now because I am going through a re-write of the series. Mostly because of the friendship shifts which resulted in 1 individual in the series being removed from my life, plus some shifts in other dynamics in that group. In addition, there were some things I felt I rushed and I could have done better at writing or incorporating devilgrams into the story, so I want to go back and comb through that one as well. I know this one didn't get much engagement because it's OC/my insert content, but it means a lot to me and I will be taking time to re-do it.

As for requests: I am going to put a pause on them until Melancholia is finished (which, like I said, doesn't have a clear timeline). I will also remind folks who do send in requests once they do open back up:

I am not your therapist, so please don't ask me for specific help with a problem you're having. I'm professionally trained and licensed as a therapist, but it is unethical (and illegal) for me to provide services without any agreements, HIPPA compliant technology, or respect for licensing laws that vary state to state, and even if it was, it is not something I want to do in this space. If you need help, please utilize Google or Psychology Today to find any services in your area.

Please keep requests somewhat simple and generalizable to a wider audience. I'm don't necessarily like writing for an mc with a Laundry list of diagnoses/problems occurring at once that seem *very* personal to the individual requesting, as I have many content enjoyers who want to relate to the writing I produce for free. This also takes up a lot more of my time researching to ensure I'm depicting everything correctly. This type of request is much better suited for a commission, given how much time and personalization goes into it. That doesn't mean you can't request writing for a specific diagnosis or problem (such as an eating disorder, self harm, or trauma) though. That I do encourage!

I am a person with a life outside of Tumblr. I have a full time job, an elder pet who needs significant attention, and a decent sized chunk of family and fiends that I am engaged with regularly off of the internet. Please don't harass me about your requests unless I have given you a clear timeline and am not providing updates. If you're just checking in that I have recieved them, I will reply to that and inform you that status of your request. However, you DO NOT need to send me a ton of messages asking the same thing when I had clearly indicated I was/am going to be working on it or that I'm not quite in the space to work on it, but would inform you when I was or tag you in it when its completed. This makes me far less likely to want to write your request. While it doesn't happen often, I've gotten it about commission requests a few times over the past few months and I just wanted this to serve as a gentle reminder.

I do look forward to getting the motivation to write again, and I appreciate all my readers who have supported me (not just with comments, likes, reblogs, and engagement, but financially as well when times were tough). I am so grateful for all of you and I appreciate so much that you all enjoy my writing enough to want to see more. I hope you all understand where I'm at, and can respect that while I take the time that I need ❤️

[dimepdf]

★  𝐈 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄. + 𝐉𝐎𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

masterlist. / taglist. / any request? synopsis. Joel couldn't help it, he was infatuated with the way you looked, and he would think about you so vividly that it would keep him up to the point of tossing and turning in his bed at night.

─── ☆ notes. I have been stuck in a bit of a funk for awhile, which kind of stinks because a lot of my writing really doesn't reflect how I’ve been feeling lately. I hope this brainrot parts ways with me very soon, but in meantime here is a totally down bad ventfic. | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

���── ☆ length. 2.9k (24 min read)

─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | angsty | vent fic | dilf Joel | pre-apocalypse | black coded fem reader | mentions of mental illness | mentions of sexual partners | longing and yearning | realizing feelings | commitment issues | insecurities | legal age gap | older man/younger woman | very self indulgent | Tommy being the best wingman | kinda obsessive | masterbating(m) | touch deprived | intimacy starved | praise be desperate and needy men | not beta'd real men have typos | title inspired by this song trending on my tiktok fyp .

Because he had grown up as a single parent, Joel liked to think he had been built with a natural bullshit detector built in. 

Having been thrown into the lifestyle of unexpected parenthood by raising the little mischievous girl that was his daughter Sarah for 12 years of his life, he learned the highs and lows that came with raising a child with little to no moral compass.

He had to learn that it was best to go through life being stressed about absolutely everything while also being prepared for everything; that was just his life motto.

It came from the years of hiding the very real emotions he had hidden under his true exterior, from the love of his life leaving him with a baby to somehow floating through his 20s. 

Keeping his screws tight and pushing through without taking any handouts from the people that would peer at him with pity in their eyes.

Joel was the type of man to never talk about his troubles to bottle up all his emotions, nor had he ever talked about anything that bothered him outwardly. 

Not even to his little brother Tommy, who had certainly made it his mission to lift Joel out of the funk he had always seemed to find himself in. 

Joel knew that his lifestyle wasn't that hard, he felt blessed to even have the amount of support and family that he did have left. Sure, he had to live from check to check, but that was the same for most underpaid workers who lived to achieve the American dream.

So, like most, he just sucked it up and did his best to keep his mouth shut and to go about his day as drama-free as he possibly could.

Joel didn't think that he was living a miserable life. He felt it was better to be constantly on edge, knowing the trouble Sarah would get into every time he turned his back to the girl.

In fact, he had many things troubling him in his life, silently adding more and more to his plate as the days unfolded beneath him.

The newest addition was about how he was just on the brink of losing the second job that Tommy had helped him get too, and that just added to how he was supposed to keep a roof over Sarah’s head if he wasn't able to get paid enough to keep food in the fridge.

the last thing Joel wanted for Sarah was for her to feel forced to pick up some slack around the house, knowing her idea of help was using her bad sticky fingers habit. 

Remembering how just last spring, when he had let it slip that they might have to cut back on leaving the lights on. 

Joel had a rude awakening the next morning to a lengthy lecture over the phone from Sarah's principal about how the little girl had gotten caught scavenging through her classmate's backpacks. 

Learning that his daughter was busy pawning anything that she could get her hands on after school wasn't something Joel expected to hear.

So as much as he wished he could give up at times, Joel had made it his mission to raise Sarah so she would not feel like she had to lift even a finger, teaching her that with a bit of hard work, even bigger awards would come.

Though the completely different side of his life, Joel would be busy swatting Tommy away like the pestering little brother that he made himself out to be. 

"You just need to get back in the game.” Tommy would insist boldly on wild the suggestion, claiming how Joel wouldn't be so high-strung if he had an actual lady friend to keep him company the nights he had found so difficult to keep his bed warm. 

It took a lot of convincing after some years for Joel to finally just bite the bullet, agreeing to go on a few double date nights with Tommy's guidance. 

The younger sibling was personally assigned as his overly charismatic wingman, making it his task to saddle whichever poor woman he laid his eyes on across the bar to squeeze next to them for the night. 

Many women have met the unfortunate fate, most coming up with an excuse to part ways after they failed to crack Joel from his awkward shell. 

It was a constant cycle of nothingness, and the older man returned home at night alone just in time to tuck Sarah into bed. Date after date, Joel had just about given up on seeking out "the one", just in time for the universe to throw him another thing to add onto his plate: new annoying neighbors. 

You weren't even allowed to introduce yourself before your dog had made himself at home and snuck into Joel's backyard through the hole in the gate he keeps putting off fixing. 

Your little pooch kicking up dirt all over his patio and chewing up all the toys Sarah had left outside that he could get his little paws on, the little girl scared at the sight of her prized dolls all chewed up in pieces, screaming as if she had witnessed a murder happen right in front of her own eyes.

The last thing he had wanted to have to do right after getting off work was chewing out some insolent dog owner for not being to keep a watchful eye on their pet. 

Just as he was about to beat down your dog and give you an earful, he halted once your front door had swung open and had been welcomed by the sight of you.

Stumbling a bit over his words, you had managed to piece together the issues, seeing Joel had your dog by its collar and Sarah's look of absolute heartbreak holding pieces of her toys still in hand.

An apology was the first thing you introduced yourself to your new neighbor as your dog was returned. 

You explained how you just turned and made the mistake of thinking that the gate that separated your two homes would be enough to keep the puppy out of trouble. You were even kind enough to replace some of the toys Sarah had lost as a nice peace offering.

the two of you even getting closer, giving Sarah something to do over the long weekends, the little girl would slip out of the house to go next door to come to pester you to hang out for the day.

Joel hadn't complained much seeing Sarah become so close to you, though when it came to talking to you himself, his stiff personality would always get in the way of forming a proper conversation with you.

Just being around you made him so suddenly nervous, wanting to have at least some type of friendship with the woman that his daughter found such a delight to be around without turning into some stumbling and bumbling fool. 

The situation had only seemed to become even more embarrassing the moment that Tommy had been added to the equation.

It was as if Tommy could read every little expression and problem that was happening in Joel's mind like it was some type of sibling telepathy spilling everything that was clouding his older brother's mind. 

It only took one look at how Joel looked at you to finish the entire puzzle piece, and before you knew it, Tommy was setting Joel up to fix the leak in your sink.

Being the best wingman he could be, Tommy took Sarah out on one of their rare movie nights with a wink and a wave to Joel, leaving just the two of you alone for the moment in hopes of something unfolding without any intrusion.

Unfortunately, the rest of the evening alone wasn't as smooth sailing as he had thought it to be, with Joel thinking he was practically torturing you by wriggling into your life in a manner somewhat like an annoying tapeworm.

Joel liked to think of himself as a bit of a gentleman, giving you as much respect as he could while you two were alone in your home. Though he would never admit it, since his last relationship ended, he has grown to have an awkward relationship with any female that isn't his daughter.

His overbearing awakeness comes between holding an actual conversation with you and still learning how to utter the words "no thank you!" as if he were some nervous child.  

Like how he couldn’t tell Sarah no every time she would ask to stay up just a few more minutes before her bedtime (those minutes usually leading up to hours) or how every time one of his old flings would come knocking on his front door just magically appearing mostly likely from Tommy's influence on his doorstep holding up some food dish he knew was filled with something vile enough to sit untouched in his fridge for the following week until he would secretly passing it to your dog.

There was another issue that had Joel dodging your eyes—a sudden wave of shame always seemed to follow at just the mere thought of bringing a woman home, knowing there would always be the possibility of you peering through your front curtains and seeing him kissing up against someone else at his doorstep.

Let alone having to explain to both you and Sarah the type of relationship that he had with said woman, it was more than enough anxiety to make him back out of hooking up as a whole.

Joel just couldn't do relationships. 

And heaven knows it wasn’t anyone else's fault but his own. It all just makes Joel feel like such a shit person for constantly comparing all the women he has met to everything you do.

Feeling like he was leading all the poor women on, knowing that his heart was completely somewhere else and that no amount of people that he would talk to or hook up with would amount to the emotions and feelings he had for you. 

He just couldn't do it. 

Not with any of them at least.

Joel was convinced he was a bad person from the moment Tommy and Sarah had left, and he could not stop imagining the very adult things that you both could have been doing instead of fixing your plumbing.

There was just something about your presence that seemed to be so alluring, so intoxicating, to the point where Joel just had to get to work quickly, wanting to fix your sink as fast as he possibly could just to have something to do with his fidgeting, nervous hands.

Squatting down with a grunt to get a better look at the pipes, you had filled the silence with your own sense of conversation, full of that new adult stress that had you bouncing off the walls worrying about finding an ear within Joel, who would on occasion speak up with his own blunt sense of advice.

You were so similar to him, and Joel just loved that about you, and it was scary how he had found someone as troubled as he was.

Not only that, but you were also freaking pretty. It was strange because he had never felt the way he did in such a long time.

You were pretty in the weird way that would make him so nervous to be in the same room as you, how he would stumble his sentences, and how your conversations would always fall awkwardly silent. 

Not knowing how to talk to you because he would be too busy trying not to stare or say the wrong thing.

Joel couldn't help it, he was just infatuated with the way you looked, from your glistening brown skin that always looked so soft to the touch to the curls and coils in your hair that looked like it would feel like small little clouds or sugary spun cotton candy in between his fingertips, he wanted so badly to just reach out and touch it—to touch you even.

It was all so wrong, the way he would think about you so vividly that it would keep him up to the point of tossing and turning in his bed at night. 

Joel had let your one-sided conversation die down in the air, assuming that your attention had been pulled to something more interesting than watching him work. The last thing he had expected was for you to have noticed him struggling with the stray longer hairs that poked his face.

Making your way over to his side of the cabinets, he hadn't even noticed you leaning down next to him until he flinched at the tap of your fingers against his, trying to grab back his attention.

The position in which you had stood beside him was a heart-hammering sight. He was peering up at you with his mouth slightly gaping.

Joel swore that the way that the kitchen light had glewed through your curls made you seem like some kind of angel trying to bless the sinful thoughts he was having.

The moment wasn't short-lived, watching your hands hesitate before reaching to use one of the scrunchies you had around your wrist to pull his hair away from his face into a small ponytail.

After that exchange, Joel swore that the rest of the day just seemed to continue on with his body moving on autopilot all the way until he was back home resting in his bed.

Just the mere memory of the moment playing over and over in his mind on a loop, laying in his bed with an untouched erection as if he was some sort of pulsing like he was an out of control teenage boy that just discovered what jerking off felt like. 

Joel was convinced that his dick was just sort of broken until now. Sure, he would get the occasional morning wood. 

Nothing could compare to the feeling of pure arousal that had clouded his mind and left him feeling brick hard, and the worst part was that it was all your fault.

He couldn't believe that he had gotten so spun up about you, thinking about how your fingers had combed through his hair, how those same hands would feel if you just tangled them in his locks and tugged just a bit harder. 

His thoughts trailed farther on their own, how your full lips would feel pressed against his own, how they would look all glossed up and wrapped about his dick. 

How your voice would sound whimpering out his name under him, having you laid spread out naked in his bed within his own four walls. 

It was all your fault for how you had smitten him so easily, with his mind being so fogged that he could barely think about anything but you as he touched himself. 

How you had dared to be so much prettier than any of the other women he would meet on Tommy's double dates—which was such a fucked up thing to compare you to—you just had such a personality that made Joel feel so flustered to the point where he ached to have you in his embrace.

to have you close enough that all his senses were taken up by you—how badly he wanted to be held by you, to be smothered in your arms, to bury his face against your chest and melt into an embrace until he smelled like you. 

Joel felt like he had to be sick, he had to have fallen ill over the course of meeting you. 

It was the only reasonable explanation he could come up with about how just the mere thought of you would make him so hot and heavy. 

It was almost agonizing how distracting you were to him at night, the wandering thoughts of you leaving his cock aching against his thigh. 

Joel wouldn't even realize he was palming himself through his sweats, recalling how you had practically ruined the entirety of his trajectory. He was already tugging down his joggers, and his hand was crawling under his waistband.

The selfish and completely deprived thoughts would flood his mind at the moment he wrapped his hand around his length.

His hand jerked at his hilt as the other combed through the knotting hair at the base of his scalp, trying to ground himself from the tension that started to knot in his stomach.

The selfish act of pleasure would continue on with no end, all he could think about was how good you were making him feel without even being in the same room as him.

How badly he wanted to press trails of kisses up and down your body, leaving dark little greedy marks against your plush skin. 

Joel imagined seeing all of you, all your naked curves and folds, how your plump thighs would look pressed against your chest, how big his hand would look pressing against your stomach pudge. 

He was a fucking mess. 

His fantasies of you playing out in his mind had him biting his knuckles to keep quiet as he couldn't remember if he had locked his bedroom door or not, and the last thing he needed was Sarah rushing in and killing the mood. 

The thin walls don't keep him from unloading all over his hands and pants, bent up strings finally being released with a strained groan parting from his lips as his muscles twitch and his mind finally gets released from the horny rotting intrusion for just a moment he’s floating on a cloud of bliss. 

God, how he hated the heart thumping feeling that followed, the minute everything would come back and click into place realizing what he had done and the troubled feelings he had for you.

Joel was convinced he was never going to be able to wrench his heart from your hands anytime soon.

🔖 @adison-smart27

comment below or tap here to be added to taglist.

[eating-plastic]

Getting back into self shipping

So in case the few reblogs here and there didn't give it away, yeah I'm back into self shipping after falling out of love with it for some time. Here's an intro to my f/os because I realized I never actually properly introduced them before (whoops!). There are also a few ground rules I have for self ship stuff on my blog afterward, so if you don't care about who I ship myself with, then just scroll past those. Okay? Cool! Let's get a move on then!

Roller Ricky:

Roller Ricky is a minor character from the game Killer Frequency. He is a laid back, fun-loving guy who runs a roller rink in the fictional small town of Gallows Creek. Though he's friendly and sweet, he is not afraid to scare someone off with his rifle if they threaten his life or the lives of those he loves. Also he has trauma! Due to an awful prank that resulted in the death of one of his peers, he developed severe survivor's guilt that spiraled into him developing an alcohol addiction to deal with the grief. Fortunately, he eventually got help and therapy for his alcoholism and trauma. He also has an emotional support dog named Max, who he adores.

Honestly what's there not to love about Ricky? He's like, the definition of the ideal man (at least to me he is 🤭). He's sweet, he's caring, loves his dog, he's willing to defend the lives of those he loves, he's pretty easy on the eyes (not just in his canon appearance, but I've seen many different looks people have come up with for him and all of them are so handsome. Then again, I did fall in love with his voice and personality first). The first ever full length x reader fic I wrote was with him, which was pure unbridled self indulgence. After writing 3 x reader things with him and finding out what self shipping was, I realized that he was my f/o; that I loved him more than any other character I had written for (with the exception of my other f/o).

Our ship name is Heart Shaped Roller Rink.

Maison Talo:

Maison Talo is the antagonist of the game House Hunted. Though what you predominately see of him looks human, he very much is not. Maison is a REALTOR, one of the many species of creatures that live in the Uncanny Valley. His true body is a for sale house that can eat and digest living things, whereas what you see that looks human is actually a lure (like an angler fish). Soooo yeah, he eats people, but he's not necessarily evil per se, more morally gray if anything; it's just how he and his species eat and you need to eat to live after all. He's not heartless either, as he is still very capable of developing emotional relationships with others and even falling in love.

So when compared to Ricky, why on God's green Earth is Maison my other f/o (besides the fact that his lure form is hot as FUCK)? Well, to be completely honest I'm a lil bit of a "poser" as a lot of the love I feel for him is from headcanons I have written for him and less actual canon (to say that I cherry pick canon when it comes to REALTOR anatomy and such, would be a gross understatement lol). So yeah, I'd probably be considered a fake fan, it's the big reason why I've played around with the idea of him being my f/o, but only now am making it official. Whatever 🤷‍♀️.

To me (and once again, these are headcanons) Maison is very romantic. Like classic gentleman romantic. He'd also highly value his partner because I think he hasn't genuinely loved someone in a long time or even at all, so when he realizes he does love someone, he's gonna cherish them greatly. Also be uber protective over them as the Uncanny Valley is like, super fuckin dangerous. He would definitely spoil the shit out of you too (bro's not beating the sugar daddy allegations lol). Plus, you're getting a boyfriend and a free house! I also fell for him the same way I fell for Ricky: I just wrote for him a lot and realized "Hey, I'm actually not normal about this character at all." While Ricky was my first x reader fic, Maison was my first x reader thing period.

I just feel like I have to justify why Maison is my other f/o because yeah he is a lil pretentious about being the "Number 1 REALTOR in the Uncanny Valley" and the fact that he eats people, but hey no one's perfect.

Our ship name is Home Sweet Home.

--------------------

With that outta the way, here are some rules for self ship stuff on my blog:

1.) I am okay with sharing my f/os

2.) Shipping discourse is absolutely NOT allowed on this blog. The whole reason I fell out of love with self shipping was because of the proship vs antiship bullshit. I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna deal with it, which leads into...

3.) Anyone is allowed to interact with my blog and my self ship posts. I also take the time to look at self ship posts to make sure they don't have any form of a DNI on them or in the tags before reblogging them

I want this blog to be a space for positivity always, especially when it comes to self shipping because it is something that has brought me a ton of joy. Be kind, be respectful, and treat yourselves right ❤️

[fyodors-husband]

Hello! May i request sfw or nsfw headcanons for Arthur Rimbaud? Feel free to decline! I hope you have a wonderful day and take care ^^

Ive been so inactive lately i am SO SORRY 😭 Work has been kicking my ass. I hope you have a wonderful day aswell anon!

______________________________________________

Of course i can! I love Rimbaud so much and i need to write again so why not start with him?

Both SFW and NSFW for you anon!

CW : NSFW (below second cut)

°~•~○~°~•~○_FLUFF BELOW THE CUT_○~•~°~○~•~°

Arthur would be such a sweet partner, always attentive and makong sure youre looking after yourself

He'd definitely take you out lots

He'll usually take you where you like to go, but if you let him pick expect to go to lots of quiet and reserved places

His favorites are fields and/or parks that are closed off

He LOVES to sit with you and just admire you

Its also not like he wont take you out to public places at all, he just preferd quiet ones

If you go out to a resturaunt, trust you will not have to worry about prices at all

Remember he was a spy and port mafia vice exec, he can afford expensive things

Another date hed probably take you on is shopping, especially if its your birthday or a special event

Now, he loves to take care of and spoil you, but you'll have to remind him to do the same

Hed love if you took your time to cook and show him affection aswell, hed just melt

It also helps since he may forget to take care of himself sometimes

He would LOVE to take baths with you aswell, very very nice and warm baths

If you wash his hair for him he would just die, would find it so sweet and would obviously return the favour to you

°~•~○~°~•~○_NSFW BELOW THE CUT_○~•~°~○~•~°

Okay first of all this man lives for SERVICE, definitely for you more than him

Hes a switch through and through, just wants to do what you want

Hes pretty vanilla in terms of kinks, though, if you have one you want to try, hes down (if its in his comfort zone)

Very hesistant to bring forward anything he wants to try, dosent ever want to make you uncomfortable

Isnt very vocal at first but can get VERY vocal if you hit the right nerves

has a thing for praise whether he's top or bottom! Will praise you and how beautiful you look and will also get very flustered if you praise him

usually does it under a blanket so he's not cold, but dosent like it much since he cant see you

If you two havent seen each other for a while and he needs to relieve himself instead of you helping him, will do it under a blanket

Dosent like doing it himself AT ALL, very much prefers to do it with you, especially if youve been together for a long time

Speaking of being together for a long time, since hes a spy and/or port mafia exec (depending on when you get with him) hes out on missions sometimes

Will DEFINETLY call you on thoose missions and maybe even get a little bit needy if he's been gone for a long time

If hes gone a REALLY long time you might get some phone sex, but since hes busy its rare

When he gets back though hell immediately run to you

Soft and passionate sex from him all night, just happy to see you again

Remember when i said he likes baths with you? Bath sex, thats all

OH MY GOODNESS ANON IM SO SORRYYYY you sent this ask in SEPTEMEBER and it is infact october 4th at the time of posting, i got so stumped for a while im so sorry anon but here it is!

Likes and reblogs help and feel free to give me more requests since i need to get back into writing!

[sout999]

dear tumblr ,,⋋(•◇•)⋌,,

thank you so much for all the support on my top surgery fundraiser, whether it's donating, reblogging or just staying patient with while i boost the link multiple times. which i am going to keep doing! it's no understatement that this is the single biggest positive thing that's happening in my life, and the time i need your help most. so i'm making my voice heard as much as i possibly can to spread the word, and i appreciate all your help with it. it makes me feel loved as a person and not as a bunch of posts on a dashboard, i've been getting pretty isolated because of mental health stuff so even the small connection we have from your act of goodwill is really meaningful to me

i've been ok, mostly putting in work on my masters degree, although some of the 'work' included having a massive breakdown from months of burnout, and i'm currently in the middle of trying to get an extension and rework a large part of my project. mostly this is due to the subject matter of my work having had a lot of loaded cultural and personal themes, which, when being forced to think about nonstop for two years, while also moving in with the family member who is the source of a large part of all the trauma of it, was just too much. taking a stance to axe the project in its current form was hard and made me feel like a quitter but now i feel relief and realize it was an act of self love as well

so i'm trying to recover from that and see a way forward to a project i would like doing, but it's hard when your circumstances have left you this depressed. i'm also trying to become more mindful of the way i use social media because when i'm anxious i fall very easily into the numbness sink of scrolling social media just to avoid thinking... i've stared a daily list of Ten Things That Happened That Day That Didn't Happen On The Internet, although i never get to ten, and i dont think even pre-internet leon would have gotten to ten, but it's good to aim high and take notice even of the little things. maybe to some people this comes naturally but i have to be very deliberate about it. i think this article sums up how im starting to feel about the internet rn

i've cut most personal spending down as much as possible to save up to my top surgery, so i have to find fun things to do that don't cost money. i'm trying to sew because my partner knows a lot about it and can teach me (i'm currently trying to engineer the perfect underwear, weird hobby but it's actually an amazing dysphoria-buster because most store bought underwear that fits my ass is so feminine, to be able to make a piece of something so intimate be so personal is, omg, an act, of, omg, self love). i've also sold off some things to help save for my top surgery and doctor visits, i'm trying to not get rid of anything i will really miss but it's also an enjoyable feeling to imagine the item disappearing as it becoming a permanent part of my history and of my sexy flat boy body (~o_o)~

if i end up having some free time outside of my masters degree, my current dream project is making pixel assets. i think with all the cases of my art getting stolen and used without permission it would actually be really cool to put something together specifically for public use. i miss kaoani and flower banners and stuff. i dont know if i can ever make something so saccharinely cute and tidy but if anything it's a nice space to visit

did you miss me coming to tumblr to make long winded posts about nothing? hopefully when twitter falls we will all be on here reading each others paragraphs, hopefully i'll have more going on in my life and can write even longer ones. here is a nice drawing, and a link to the fundraiser once again :)

https://gofund.me/958124b6

[penvisions]

dev writes {{masterlist}}

hello hello! this is all still so new to me, to be positng fic on tumblr. i’ve had an ao3 account for years so i figured why not migrate things over here as well! share it with more people c: these are the pieces i’ve been working on the last few months, i’m really excited to share them with y’all

they are self indulfgent to an extent, but that’s a part of life, no? i hope they bring something to you if you decide to check them out!

any and all likes, reblogs, comments, asks, shoutouts are so so greatly appreciated ♡ please feel free to reach out if you feel so inclined ♡ i’d be happy to chat with y’all

The Last of US (TLOU) - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: You may have been young when the world fell, but you adapted with all the challenges that come with trying to survive. You spent your time doing runs out in the badlands beyond the QZ walls to ensure people had little pleasures to keep them going. You were dropping off some medical supplies that FEDRA was willing to pay big for when you got tangled up in a mission that involves a teenager with a mouth almost as smart as yours and gruff older man whose graying curls were his only redeeming quality. But the longer you traveled with them and the more that happened out in the open land of what once was, the more you find yourself connecting with them and wanting to protect them both at any cost.

ao3 link || masterlist 

Summary: The longer, more dangerous patrol routes around Jackson are designated to you and one Joel Miller. You both have an understanding with each other, talking wasn’t the biggest concern for either of you, but being confident in each other was. He wasn’t a bad friend in your scavenged life, but then again you were beginning to think you didn’t want to be just his friend…and that’s got you more than a little sexually frustrated.

ao3 link || direct link 

Summary: You were the supervising bartender that happened to be the only person brave enough to offer help in the kitchen when they find themselves short staffed with some no call, no shows. But Joel Miller doesn’t want some floozy who doesn’t know the first thing about food in his kitchen. He makes it clear, but the tension between you two only heightens when you show him up and he realized that you do know what you’re doing. It’s driving him up the wall to see you in his kitchen, in his space day in and day out. But he needs the help and you’re so willing to give it to him. 

sneakie peek || sneakie peek 2

Triple Frontier - Frankie Morales x Baker! Reader (ex EMT! reader)

Summary: Running from the past to a new city gave you the perfect opportunity to open your own bakery. You're a regular at Brass Knuckles, and the owner is the right type of friendly you need in your life. Along with him, comes his group of friends, one Frankie Morales. You develop a crush on him nearly instantly. Can you manage to get your head above water long enough to tell him he's the most gorgeous man you've ever met?

ao3 link || masterlist 

The Mandalorian - Din Djarin x Force Sensitive! Reader

Summary: You’ve been on the run for as long as you can remember, from a lot of different people and a lot of different things. Everyone seems to see you as either a prize to show off or a captive to exploit. You had been successful in keeping a low profile and evading brief captures. That is until your mother contracted the Guild and the Mandalorian came to possess your tracking fob. Will he be the reason your freedom is no longer something attainable or will he be the one to help you achieve it in ways you never anticipated? 

ao3 link || masterlist

rough summary || sneakie peek || sneakie peek no. 2 || sneakie peek no. 3

Narcos - Javier Peña x DEA Agent! Reader 

summary: You’ve been in Columbia for a few years, having family ties that allowed for the trasnfer from CA to be easier to leave your old life behind. You’ve kept your head down and your plate full until you get paired with Steve and his partner to help tag an elusive informant. That’s when things get complicated both at work and in your personal life. But you’ll be the first to admit that the notorious pair don’t have any power over you, until you’re actually faced with seeing them day to day. 

sneakie peek

[maochira]

💗Shidou birthday writing event💗

Shidou and I have the same birthday (July 7th), so as some sort of countdown, I will have an entire writing event based on him that lasts for a week <3 Everything will be posted when it's midnight where I live!

July 1st: Let me be crucified - on you! (Shidou x assistant!reader)

Synopsis: Shidou has a crush on you and is VERY open about it. He flirts with you at any chance he gets but also ends up saying a few more or less unholy things.

July 2nd: Eckstein, Eckstein, alles muss versteckt sein (childhood friend!Shidou x best friend!reader)

Synopsis: You moved from Germany to Japan as a kid and the language barrier made it hard to find friends. But one thing quickly helped you to become friends with Shidou: playing hide and seek. And years later, there's still a specific phrase stuck in his mind.

July 3rd: Are you crying in pain, or are you crying in joy? (big brother!Shidou & highly sensitive!younger sibling!reader)

Synopsis: Your brother has never been great at telling what you feel and never knows when it's time to comfort you. Even when you reunite with him during his break from Blue Lock, he doesn't understand the reason for your tears.

July 4th: Trust the night, it alone can save your soul (vampire!Shidou x human!reader)

Synopsis: A certain vampire has fallen in love with you want wants you to be his forever, but that requires you to become a vampire as well. Unfortunately for Shidou, you don't really understand what he's hinting at.

July 5th: Apparently, you want to fight till the end (rival!Shidou x rival!reader)

Synopsis: Neither you nor Shidou are part of a soccer team. Regardless of that, you are his first and biggest rival. But when you find yourself laying on his lap, you realize there might be more than rivalry.

July 6th: Partners in crime (best friend!Shidou x best friend!reader)

Synopsis: Your best friend loves to call you his "partner in crime" because you're always on his side no matter what he does. But secretly, you wish you could be his actual partner.

July 7th: Happy birthday to me! - uhm, us. (twin!Shidou & twin!reader)

Synopsis: You weren't willing to miss out on celebrating your birthday with your brother, only because he's in Blue Lock at the moment. And you surprising Shidou is definitely the best present you ever gave him.

Additionally, I will mostly focus on writing requests that involve Shidou - so feel free to request stuff with him! I will also reblog my favourite things I've written about him throughout the week. There will be a reblog at 6am and one at 1pm until July 6th. I live in Germany, by the way!

Also!! I have to say this, please no early birthday wishes!! I'm very superstitious with this and believe it brings bad luck </3

[thesweetestsupervillains]

MOBILE RULES

I don’t have too many rules, so please follow them as best you can. 

1. Mun is autistic and asexual. That doesn’t mean I’m against sexual things, but it’s not all I want. Furthermore, I tend to hyperfocus on muses and subjects. And I don’t understand subtext. So please, please be blunt with me. If you’re not interested, just say no! I promise you I won’t be mad. Don’t lead me on or I’ll keep asking about things without realizing it. 

2. Speaking of sexual things, might as well get this out of the way. Topics I will not, under any circumstances write include, but are not limited to: Watersports, scat, hard vore, abdl stuff, pregnancy, any kind of stuff involving kids, rape, torture. Do not ask. You will be blocked. 

3. Topics I am okay with, if the right partner comes around, include: feedee things, weight gain, inflation, transformations, soft vore, and various more normal sexual things. However, this is only with established partners. 

4. I like plotting! A lot! Please feel free to throw ideas at me if you have them! 

5. Feel free to reblog memes from me directly, it helps me remember who is following me. 

6. Please do not reblog answered asks. If you want to continue something, please just make a separate post. 

7. I am 21+. No minors, period. Sorry. 

8. Memes are always accepted, just post the relevant bits rather than just the emoji or w/e. You can find those in the memes tag. 

Rules subject to change as needed.