#fear of going home

[livinglifeagainblog]

The Holidays

The holidays are the not the best for me and is hard for me to celebrate them as much. In December 2006 five days before Christmas I lost my grandmother that I was very close to and ever since them Christmas has never been the same. Then November 2017 twenty-seven days before Thanksgiving I lost my other grandmother that considered me as her blood granddaughter even though in reality I was not her blood.

I was adopted by her son who in turn was not the greatest to me (another story for a different time). So now Thanksgiving really doesn't feel the same anymore. Since leaving home at the age of 17 I haven't spent a holiday with family in so long. I have never really felt welcome to come back home or really wanted to go back home to be with my family.

They really didn't seem to mind that I wasn't around. So I just decided that whoever I was in a relationship with if they invited me to a friends gathering or a family's gathering, I would go with them instead of trying to go home for the holidays.

Some questions that I ask myself all of the time and hope that maybe someone else was feeling the same way I did around the holidays:

Has anyone felt this same way????

Has anyone felt like they didn't belong with the family that they felt like they didn't belong in???

How do I get over the fear of going home for the holidays?

Feel free to answer these questions in the comments below. I fell like being able to write how I am feeling away without having to show my face I feel like that is the best way I know how to be my actual self and hopefully not feel so alone in my thinking.

Be kind in the comments. Always love the person that is next to you. Love your neighbor like themselves. 🥰💗💗💗

[dunno-rambles]

what if she was an ex borg drone and you dont like her but you're the best mechanical engineer on the ship and you have to work on the maintenance of the remaining - and most crucial - implants on her body and the monthly check ups are always strangely intimate-

what if

[woodlaflababab]

Currently amused by the idea that Aang is a delinquent. Forget punk or prep, he has tattoos, he's constantly destroying public property, he's encouraging kids to run away from home, he's homeless, he has no qualms about lying or stealing, has gotten into street fights, skips school, acts out in class, and he has canonically gone to jail and made friends with the criminals there.

Short of drug use, he is the textbox definition of a delinquent, he just hides it with how fucking cute he is.

[doodlejoltik]

secret back strike technique

[gazpachoandbooks]

Currently imagining Arthur + Gwen + the knights asking someone (maybe druids?) who this famous "Emrys" is and they proceed to do a version of "We Don't Talk About Bruno" while Arthur, Gwen and the knights grow increasingly more distressed with each line and Merlin hyperventilates in the background

[lizardkingeliot]

I had taken seven thousand souls by then. But Lestat was the only one that felt like murder. Semantics, surely, but it's how I felt. He came by invitation. My distraction from the monochromatic landscape. The gray of an obliterated road, the gray-brown of a charred and bullet-ridden city.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.

[waitineedaname]

MXTX protagonists ranked by how bad their mommy/daddy issues are

Luo Binghe: absolutely nuclear level of mommy/daddy issues. this is the consequence of giving your protagonist two deadbeat dads and two dead moms, and then letting him project all those issues onto his overly indulgent teacher

Wei Wuxian: he could've had perfectly normal orphan levels of parent trauma, but what's that?? IT'S THE JIANG PARENTS WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!! the combo of fear and respect he had for Yu Ziyuan is already bad enough, but then there's also the feeling of responsibility for the Jiang siblings that they put on him, which then leads to, you know, all the Yunmeng sibling problems

Lan Wangji: this dude is so haunted by his father potentially kidnapping his mother and then locking her up and putting himself in seclusion, and this significantly shapes his relationship with Wei Wuxian. plus he took his mother's death really, really badly :(

Shen Qingqiu: he like never mentions his parents?? which is weird, but at least he's not haunted by it. however, he gets the special privilege of being the person exacerbating someone else's mommy/daddy issues. he brought this on himself. he doesn't get to walk out of a confession involving a metaphor where he'd be pregnant with his partner and act like that's normal

Xie Lian: he definitely has trauma surrounding his parents for sure, but they don't seem to have manifested as specifically mommy/daddy issues? it's just, you know. normal grief. honestly, there's so much shit going on with his trauma and baggage that he can't be defined by this one thing

Hua Cheng: does not seem to care about his parents?? at all???? he's presumably an orphan and they're probably the origin of his self worth issues, but like. in the grand scheme of things, they do not seem to be that big of a concern for him. who needs mommy issues when you have devotion to dianxia i guess

[criticalbeauregard]

pov u are walking through the woods minding your own business in early 18th century new england

(click for better quality)

[canisalbus]

You should plan on doing a meet and greet one day!

.

[pigskinmask]

Me when I said I'd be annoying but then I get a job 🫤

[borgialucrezia]

“I will never fear to cite Cesare Borgia and his actions. Whether it is better to be loved than feared, he was considered cruel; nonetheless, that cruelty united Romagna and brought it peace and stability.” — Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince.

[supersapphical]

perhaps my most esoteric but very, very passionate spn take is that i truly believe if you haven't watched season 1 supernatural with the original music cues, you have not seen season 1 supernatural.

[indexvirus]

Ilberd was so badly communicated in story I'm not even mad anymore. Just disappointed.

Like I hated this man with passion. Mere hearing his voice or seeing his face made my blood boil. At least the Japanese dub makes him more sympathetic, because he speaks calmly, albeit painfully, not just complaining like his English dub sounds like.

But I bought the book and did some digging and wow? He was paid with McChickenNuggets and a sword when he worked as an adventurer to support his family. Man was treated worse than a dog, and he had a family - possibly partner, possibly kid too, I mean, he was 40 years old. Or idk, very nice of him to take care of his elderly parents, I guess - and he lost them to the calamity. Mfs were barbecued by bahamut.

And yeah, Ilberd lost 100% everything, and had nothing to lose anymore. He wanted to take their ashes back home, and when enough people told him "no", he said "fuck it", and backflipped straight to god.

Also. He likes tea. Like he drinks tea. A LOT.

Like excuse me. How about telling this in-game? Sounds like the writing was a little... what's the word... slo--- sorry

[agentark]

do you ever think about how in the literal very first scene with Rebecca, we learn that Unit Bravo had no idea she even had a kid

she chose UB and The Agency over the detective so consistently, so frequently, that her team didn't even consider that she had some kind of life outside of them, with someone waiting for her at home

[khaire-traveler]

I'm not gonna lie, I've been spending the whole day trying to be strong for others and trying my damnedest to focus on the positive aspects of the elections (first trans Congress member, first senate with two black women, etc.) and the blatant facts of the US political system (the fact that Trump, regardless of what he says, can't just do whatever he wants), but the more I interact with the hopelessness that my loved ones and others are feeling, the more I just find myself being slowly pulled into the void.

Nihilism is probably the worst trap to fall into at this time, and it's the hardest to avoid. It's vital that we don't allow ourselves to get sucked into it. But god damn, some people are just really convincing.