#favourite song in the last like 5 years easily

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Little Darling

Chapter 5 - The man I used to be

It's 1997, and Elvis is still alive and well. He quit music in 1972 after a successful world tour, and now he runs Presley Studios - teaching people karate across America. His daughter and grandchildren are regular visitors at Graceland, and when he’s in Memphis he likes to do a little teaching. His life is quieter now, though. Most of the Mafia have gone - going to live their own lives - and after his divorce from his second wife, Elvis is sworn off women for good. Will a Welsh girl with a wicked sense of humour be the one to make him break his promise to himself not to fall in love again?

Need to catch up? Go here.

Pairing: Old Man!Elvis x OC - Tegan, a Welsh girl he meets at karate class.

Word Count: 5.6K

TWs: Angst, crying, angry!Elvis, self-esteem issues all-round, erectile dysfunction, body worship, praise kink, some smutty bits.

A/N: This is a difficult chapter for a number of reasons - there's a lot going on and a lot of complex emotions. Thanks to everyone who has commented and re-blogged so far, comments are life so the more I get the happier I am! And I know if you're enjoying it.

Elvis spends the next day wondering what he’s doing with Tegan. He sits at the piano, mid-afternoon, running through some scales and a few snatches of songs. He looks around the empty living room. It’s harder to get a house full of people nowadays. The guys are older and they spend more time with their families than they used to. He can get plenty of people round for an event - the barbeque the other weekend proved that - but there’s not the constant presence of guys and fans and family like back in the seventies or even the eighties. The divorce had coincided with a slow drift of people out of his life and into their own. Lisa doesn’t even stay in Graceland when she’s back in Memphis, even though he’d tried asking her to. She’s working on her new relationship, and she wants to spend time with her boyfriend when she’s in Memphis, not with her dad.

For the first time in a long time, Elvis realises he’s lonely. He’s been keeping himself busy for years now with the karate schools, but he can’t stay in Memphis for more than a month at a time. It’s hard to persuade someone to come round for dinner every night; sometimes he has to eat alone. He’s kept moving so he barely notices, but sitting in the living room at Graceland, silent save for his absent-minded piano tinkling, he realises how much he craves company. Last night had gone by so quickly, Tegan was so easy to talk to and her skin was so soft. He’s missed more than just conversation and company. He’s missed sex too. He had liked playing with her and finding out what turns her on, and he had liked watching her lose herself to pleasure too. 

He puts the lid down on the piano and rests his elbows on it, head in his hands. He remembers calling her a needy thing because she wanted to see him before Tuesday. He groans. He wants to see her right now, and he wants to keep her here with him forever. It hurts, being here alone, being without her, wanting her so badly. The loneliness that he’d been holding at bay for so long comes crashing through his defences, hitting him like a tidal wave. Tears gather in the corners of his eyes and run down his nose, splashing on the piano lid. Fuck. 

“Daddy?”

He’d been so wrapped up in his own sadness he hadn’t noticed the sound of the door closing and when he looks up he sees Lisa standing there, with Riley and Ben. He quickly wipes his eyes and stands up.

“Hey! How are my two favourite grandkids, hm?”

Riley rolls her eyes, letting him hug her. “We’re your only grandkids, Elvis.”

He looks up at Lisa. “She got this from you, y’know. Callin’ me Elvis.”

Lisa laughs and tells both kids to go and raid the kitchen for lunch. 

Riley runs off towards the kitchen immediately but Ben pauses, unsure. He tugs Elvis’ sleeve. Elvis bends down and picks him up easily, cuddling the little boy to him and kissing the top of his head. 

“What’s up, punk?”

Lisa snorts at her dad calling her son “punk”. 

“Have you been crying?” Ben puts a little hand against Elvis’ face and stares into his eyes with grave concern. 

“Little bit.”

“Why?”

Elvis lets out a huff of air. Why had he been crying? “Jus’ felt a little sad, s’all.” He brushes Ben’s hair back off his forehead. “Much happier now you’re here.” He squeezes the little boy tightly and then looks at him again to see how that statement fell. 

Ben’s big eyes still look worried. Lisa thinks he’s way too worried, always, for a five year old. 

“Are you sure?”

“Am I sure I’m better now you and Riley are here? Of course I’m sure. Why dontcha go help ya sister find some lunch, hm? Mary’ll help ya. Ya must be hungry, growin’ little fella like you?”

Ben nods solemnly and allows himself to be put down, walking slowly and purposefully to the kitchen. Elvis frowns a little. “Are ya sure he’s five and not fifty five, Yis?”

She sighs and puts an arm around her dad, laying her head on his shoulder. “Well he’s very perceptive for a five year old, I’ll give him that. You ok?”

“Think anyone coulda seen me cryin’ back there. Even a little kid.”

His arm goes around her too, pulling her close. 

“You okay?” She asks again. 

Elvis makes a sort of grumbling noise and moves to sit on the sofa. Lisa sits next to him and waits patiently for a response. Or, as patiently as she can. When another two minutes of strange silence have passed she huffs and pokes him in the side. 

“You gonna tell me?”

“Not gonna get away without, am I?” He mutters. “Lonely here, Yis. On my own a lot.”

“What about Tegan?”

“Saw her last night.” His face breaks into a smile. “She came for dinner.”

Lisa sits up and grins. “And?”

The smile continues to play on his lips as he thinks about her on his lap all night, talking to him about her tattoos. “It was good.”

“Good? Is that it?!”

“I like her, Yis. I really like her. But she’s so much younger, I jus’... I dunno.”

Lisa shakes her head. “Don’t see what difference that makes. She’s not Stella, or mom. She’s her own person. You have to give it a try on its own terms.”

“‘M tryin’.”

“Why don’t you invite her round for lunch now?”

He shakes his head. “‘M try’na take it slow.”

Lisa falls back against the sofa cushions with a bump, sighing loudly. “Why?”

Elvis pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Because I don’t wanna fuck it up, okay?” He stands up and starts to move towards the kitchen. “I’m gonna get somethin’ to eat if the locusts haven’t got ta everythin’ already.”

Lisa watches him go, and then realises she’s hungry too and gets up herself. She’s surprised at her dad taking anything slowly, but perhaps he knows what he’s doing. She supposes she’ll have to wait and see.

***

“Ya need to really protect yourself with yer arms. No. C’mere.” Elvis stands in front of Tegan, a forearm in each hand, and manoeuvres them around as she steps back. “Y’see?”

She tries hard to keep a straight face but she can’t help giggling. “Yeah… kinda.”

Elvis puts on a mock-serious face. “No laughin’ at karate. ‘Sa serious sport.”

Still trying not to laugh, she attempts the block again, but when he grabs one of her arms and moves it where it’s supposed to go she fails and starts giggling.

“C’mon. Again. On yer own.”

Letting out a breath, she tries to compose herself. “O-okay. So, like… this?” 

He shrugs a little and gives his head a little shake. “Better than it was before. Practise at home. Now, step forward and snap punch. No… mid-chest. C’mon. Really try an’ punch me. That’s better.”

He makes her go through the two step move a few more times and then tells her and the rest of the group that they can go and get another drink. She gulps down some water and then passes the bottle to Maria. 

“You two are getting on well,” Maria observes with a wry smile. 

Tegan can’t help smiling back. “Yeah. I went to Graceland for dinner at the weekend.”

“You did?” Maria’s eyebrows shoot to the ceiling. “You didn’t mention it!”

“Well, I know you’re not keen.”

“Oh T, it’s not that. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Tegan nods slowly. “I know.” She’s about to continue when Elvis calls them back to class. “I’ll tell you later.”

When the class finishes the rest of the students file out and Elvis realises only Tegan and Maria are left. Maria realises too, telling her friend she’ll see her in the car and giving Elvis a quick wave. Tegan picks up her bag as he makes his way towards her, a broad smile on his face. 

“Ya need ta practice more at home,” he tells her, forefinger under her chin, tipping her face towards his so he can press a soft kiss to her lips. 

“Maybe I need some private tuition?” 

He takes his sunglasses off and holds her face firmly in his hand, kissing her deeply. Her hands make their way around his neck as she presses her body against his. 

“Ya can come home with me right now an’ I’ll teach ya some things…” he mumbles against her lips, intoxicated by the feel of her, the way she smells. 

“Yes please.”

He pulls back, resting his forehead against hers, panting a little. “I shouldna said that.”

She pouts a little. “Why?”

“I’m tryna take this slow.”

She groans. “Well don’t kiss me like that then!” 

“Sorry, honey. Got carried away. Yer always makin’ me get carried away…” he strokes her cheek gently with his finger. 

“Maybe that means something? Maybe you should just… get carried away.”

He giggles, his apple cheeks prominent as he looks down at her. “Temptin’. But ya should go home, sure ya have work in the mornin’…”

“Well, yeah. You still coming for dinner at the weekend?”

He nods. “Sure am.”

“Okay, see you then.”

***

Elvis enjoys dinner at Tegan’s apartment. She cooks him a roast and he teases her about nearly all of the components, but he gobbles down the whole plate and asks for seconds. She even manages to persuade him to try a gin and tonic, although he doesn’t ask for a second one of those. They talk and joke around and at some point the teasing turns to touching and he’s making her cum on her sofa this time. She asks again, but he’s still not interested in getting anything in return. Their relationship continues like this for weeks - they see one another on Saturday nights and at karate, they get closer, but not too close. He gives her an orgasm every time he sees her, but he won’t even take his shirt off, never mind let her touch his dick. He brings her flowers and trinkets, but he’s afraid to take her out in public in case they’re hounded by the press. She loves being with him, but she feels like he keeps her at arm’s length. She’s fully in this, but it’s like he’s just standing in the shallow end, watching her. 

She doesn’t feel like she can tell Maria, so when her friend asks she just says everything’s going well, they’re taking it slowly, getting to know each other. But she’s not sure how much longer she can keep waiting for him to feel more comfortable with her, or want to dive right in the deep end and lose control. She can’t understand what’s holding him back, and is trying to work out how to broach the subject with him at Graceland that evening, when the phone rings unexpectedly and it's Elvis inviting her to the zoo. First of all she thinks he’s joking, and then when she realises he’s not she agrees enthusiastically. She does love animals, and they will actually be seen together in person. Perhaps she’s been patient enough, and she doesn’t need to talk to him at all. Things have just worked out on their own. He tells her he’ll pick her up in half an hour and she hurries to get ready. 

***

“Honey, ya need ta know somethin’,” Elvis tells her as she gets into the car and he kisses her hello. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Ya might be in the papers tomorrow. If someone spots us an’ takes a photo…”

She shrugs. How bad could it be? “Okay, cool.”

He stares at her intensely for a moment. “They could say all kindsa things about ya. Jus’ want ya ta be prepared.”

She nods. “Okay.”

Elvis doesn’t think she’s taking him seriously enough but he’s not sure what else he can say. 

She sees him frowning a little and kisses his cheek. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Take me to the zoo!”

***

Tegan enjoys the zoo until the paparazzi arrive. She’d thought that because there was hardly anyone outside Graceland anymore and people in the karate classes treated him mostly as if his being there was completely normal, that the press wasn’t bothered about Elvis Presley anymore. Boy was she wrong. Someone had obviously tipped them off, and from the penguin enclosure onwards they were harassed by men with cameras and reporters shouting questions. Wanting to know who she was, how they met, how long they’d been together, did they plan to get married? Had she met his daughter, was she the same age as his daughter, what were they doing at the zoo? And another million intrusive questions that Elvis starts off answering politely and eventually instructs Sonny to answer “no comment” to, on his behalf. 

“Goddamnit,” he hisses, as they finally get back into the car. He pulls the curtains so that no-one can see in through the windows and Sonny drives them this time. “I knew it’d be bad. Didn’t think it’d be that bad.”

Tegan feels a little overwhelmed herself but Elvis is her main concern. He’s gripping one of her hands tightly and sweat is running down his face as he mumbles about the paparazzi and the damn reporters. 

“It’s okay,” she whispers, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his thigh. 

He huffs air out of his nose like a furious bull. “None of their goddamn business. Any of it.”

“Shhhh. It’s okay. I’m okay. Don’t get upset.”

He abruptly lets go of her hand and springs back from her. “Don’t get upset!” He exclaims, eyes wide behind his sunglasses. “Don’t get upset! Goddamn.”

Tegan isn’t going to be put off that easily. “I just mean, don’t let them get to you like this. I don’t like to see you so upset.”

She rubs his arm now, in the same gentle but firm way. 

“Well it doesn’t matter what ya like, does it?” He spits. “I’m fucking upset.”

It’s Tegan’s turn to spring back now, eyes flaming. “Don’t fucking take it out on me!”

Sonny looks at the curtain in the rearview mirror, not that it reveals anything. He’d warned Elvis about going to the zoo in the middle of the day, but to be fair not even he had thought it would be this bad. Both of them were unused to the ferocity of the paparazzi, even in Memphis. He’s surprised that Tegan bit back though. He had thought of her as a little timid for some reason. 

They stare at one another for a while, both furious but neither able to decide the next move. Elvis can’t remember the last time a woman yelled at him and he’s shocked into silence, and Tegan is furious about the way he spoke to her, and isn’t about to back down. She didn’t like his tone just then and it was making her want to tell Sonny to pull the car over so she could get out. 

Eventually Elvis huffs loudly and turns away from her, staring straight ahead at the curtain, realises that it’s still closed and opens it with a grunt. Daylight pours into the back of the car and Tegan squints and looks around for her sunglasses. 

“Sorry,” Elvis mutters sheepishly, when he thinks she’s suitably occupied digging about in her handbag. 

She pauses, then looks over at him. “It’s okay.”

He takes a few steadying breaths and then looks at her properly. “Ya were right, I was takin’ it out on ya. Ya were only tryna calm me down.”

Sliding her sunglasses on, she looks over at him. “I know. You were being an arse.”

Sonny catches Elvis’ eye in the mirror and all three of them burst out laughing. Elvis doesn’t think anyone has ever called him an arse before, but he has to admire her for doing it. 

“Yer lucky I’m lettin’ ya get away with that,” he replies, winking behind his glasses. 

They drive back to Graceland, and Sonny and his wife join them for dinner. Tegan has met Sonny’s wife a couple of times and is getting to like her, and Judy is fond of the younger woman too. Her and Sonny had both remarked to each other, and Elvis himself, how much happier he seems lately, and Judy wants to make sure he stays that way almost as much as her husband does. They all watch a little TV together and play some cards, and Tegan is happy to spend some time with people who’ll actually drink with her. Although, as she watches Sonny finish off his fourth bourbon rocks, she wonders who is going to drive her home. 

Judy yawns delicately and then gives Sonny a sharp elbow in the side. He looks around a little slowly, his reactions dulled by all the bourbon. 

“Huh? Oh…” he looks over at Elvis and Tegan, who are cuddled up on the sofa at this point. “I uh… think we should be getting home.”

“Oh.” Elvis suddenly clocks that Sonny is drunk and he doesn’t know how he’s going to get Tegan home. “Yeah, sure. Thanks fer comin’.”

They get up and say their goodbyes, and once they’ve left Elvis turns to Tegan. “I spose I better drive ya, honey.”

She puts her hands on his shoulders and then slides them down over his chest. “Or… I could stay over?”

He can feel his face getting red thinking about her seeing him naked. It had been a very long time since a woman had seen him naked. 

“I…um…”

She starts to slowly unbutton his shirt, moving to press soft kisses to the skin she uncovers there. His chest hair is white like the hair on his head, and she’s seen it before underneath his gi. But she hasn’t ever got to touch it, and she can’t help running her fingers through it as she continues to unbutton his shirt. He feels like he’s completely frozen on the spot, just watching her as she carries on with her little touches and kisses until his shirt is hanging open. 

“Please?” She puts her head to one side and tries to look cute. 

His breathing is uneven as he stares down at her, still unable to formulate a response. She gently pushes his shirt off his shoulders and encourages his arms out of the sleeves. He stands in front of her, topless, watching as she presses yet more kisses up his arms and across his chest. His eyes flick uneasily down to his belly, which isn’t exactly small these days, but that gets kisses too, and gentle touches, and he can feel himself melting. 

“C’mon. Let’s go to bed.”

“Okay,” he finally replies, trying to get some of the upper hand back by sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her up the stairs.

She giggles, her arms around his neck, pleased at being literally swept off her feet. He manages to open the door to his bedroom without putting her down, and she stares around it in wonder, squinting into the darkness. 

“I’ll put a lamp on,” he mumbles, putting her down carefully and moving over to the side of the bed, flicking a switch. 

It doesn’t get much lighter in the room, but she can see the size of the bed which is almost unreal. She shivers a little. It’s not exactly warm; it seems like he has the AC on full blast. He looks over at her nervously, but she’s still occupied looking around, so he moves over to one of the sets of drawers and searches for some pyjamas. He’d be more comfortable in them and probably so would she. It takes him a few minutes to locate a couple of sets and when he turns back his mouth actually drops open looking at her. She’s standing there, completely naked, looking over at him. 

“H-honey… I… yer…” he can’t make the words come out of his mouth. He’s seen everything before but not all at once, and it’s kind of overwhelming. “Yer naked,” he finally manages. 

She giggles. “Yeah I know. This is how I sleep. And walk around the apartment sometimes too.”

His eyes somehow get even wider. “Ya walk around like that? I don’t think ya should…”

She shrugs and then rubs her arms with her hands, melodramatically. “I’m getting cold. Why don’t you come over here and warm me up?”

“Well if ya were wearin’ clothes…” he starts, but he’s walking towards her anyway, and she cuts him off with a kiss, pressing her naked body up against his. He moans into her mouth. Her skin feels so good against his, he can even feel those little metal bars in her nipples, a tiny touch of cold. His hand spreads across her back, pulling her in even closer, but somehow he doesn’t stop her wandering hands. One skates down his back but the other sneaks between them and before he can do anything, she’s squeezing his still soft dick. She barely reacts when she doesn’t find what she was expecting, but he almost leaps backwards like he’s been burnt. 

“Ah…uh… I’m s-sorry baby… it’s not you… I-I-I…”

“Hey. It’s okay,” she tries to reply but he darts off into the ensuite, pyjamas in hand. 

Tegan sits on the bed for a moment, looking at the closed door and wondering if he plans on hiding out in the bathroom all night. She supposes he won’t, but honestly she can’t tell. The coldness of the room persuades her under the covers, and she wonders what he’s going to say when he eventually comes back into the room again. She was only a little surprised to find him so soft when she touched him. It made sense really, when she thought back over the past few weeks that they’d been together. He never wanted her to return the favour when he gave her an orgasm, he was so awkward about the relationship in the first place, and he never wanted to let her take his clothes off. The look on his face after she’d touched him, the way he’d jumped away from her… it hurts her heart. She just wants to give him pleasure like he’s been giving her for all these weeks, but he seems so damaged about the whole thing. She frowns. It’s not as if he’s the first guy she’s been with who hasn’t been able to get it up sometimes. 

Elvis gets changed shakily, then stands in his pyjamas, gripping the sink with both hands and staring into the mirror. Stupid old man, he thinks. She’ll never be interested now she knows your dick doesn’t work. For a while he seriously considers sleeping on the bathroom floor, but then he realises he can’t get around going back into the bedroom and facing Tegan. He opens the door slowly, walking into the room almost sheepishly. 

“‘M sorry,” he mumbles. This is turning into a day of apologies. 

She pulls the covers back, exposing her naked body to him. He can’t help but look at it hungrily, despite what had just happened. “C’mere.” She pats the mattress next to her. 

“I hope you’re sorry about running off, not anything else?” She asks as he gets in cautiously. 

“Sure I disappointed ya.”

Lying on his back, unable to look at her. 

“I’m not disappointed,” she replies, curling her body around his. “I’ve been looking forward to waking up with you.”

“Thought ya might’ve wanted somethin’ else,” he mutters. 

Her hand rubs his chest, then moves to his belly. She feels him tense and starts to kiss his neck as her hand keeps touching him. 

“I want to make you feel good, ‘raur. I’m not in a rush to do anything else.”

He sighs. “Don’t think that’s really possible.”

“Sure you’re not just out of practice?”

Elvis groans and closes his eyes, willing the conversation away. This is not something he wants to be talking about with anyone, let alone a girl twenty years his junior. 

“Jus’ leave it.”

Tegan doesn’t really want to just leave it, she wants to understand it and find a way to fix it. But Elvis clearly isn’t in the headspace for that kind of conversation right now, so she decides to try a different tack. 

“God, you smell so good.” Burying her face in his chest, she breathes him in. 

He can’t help his lips curling into a half-smile. “Really, Queenie?”

She flicks the top button of his pyjamas open and presses kisses to the exposed skin there, her hand running over his nipple through the shirt. 

“You haven’t called me that in a while. And yes, really.”

He hums with pleasure, his hand running through her hair as she keeps kissing and praising him. 

“You’re so strong, it’s so sexy.”

“Huh?” He’s blushing a little but he doesn’t want her to stop. 

“Carrying me up the stairs.” She looks up at him as she deftly undoes another button. “Very sexy.”

He feels her hand inside his shirt now, rubbing and touching. She pinches a nipple between her thumb and forefinger and gets a low moan in response. 

“Q-Queenie…”

“I can’t believe how gorgeous you are.” 

She quickly undoes all of the rest of the buttons, and for the second time that evening his shirt is hanging open and her hands and mouth are all over his torso. He lets out a soft sigh and when her hand moves down under the waistband of his pyjama bottoms he doesn’t stop it. She slowly slides his foreskin back and forth, squeezing a little and feeling him start to respond. Her mouth and other hand continue their ministrations on his belly and chest, hoping to distract him from worrying about what his dick might be doing. She feels him getting harder and pushes his pants down so she can get at him more easily, sliding her mouth over the head and giving him little kitten licks. He moans, looking down at her for a moment and then looking away, disgusted by his own body again. His erection starts to fade and he screws his eyes shut and huffs in frustration. She tries to stimulate him for a little longer, but it’s clear it’s not coming back, so she stops, pulling his pyjama bottoms up carefully and leaning her head back on his chest. 

He can’t speak. He doesn’t know whether not being able to get it up at all, or having half an erection that went away when he thought about it too much was worse. Both things were horribly embarrassing, and he can only imagine she’ll leave at the first opportunity, and not want to see him again. 

“We should sleep,” he says, turning over and dislodging her. 

He switches the light off and she stares, confused, into the dark from her position on her back. 

“We can try again in the morning,” she suggests, quietly. 

“Hmmm.”

She still wants to push it, but she knows she shouldn’t. This is too delicate. She wishes she could tell him that she doesn’t care, even if he never gets another erection she’d still want him more than she’s ever wanted anyone, but that seems too much. The intensity of her feelings for him seems like too much, considering how long they’ve known one another. She hasn’t told anyone how she feels; she’s convinced Maria would try and get her committed if she knew. She rolls onto her other side and tries to get to sleep. They can try again in the morning. 

***

Neither of them sleep that well. Even though the bed is huge, they’ve both got used to sleeping on their own and someone else being there is disturbing. Elvis sleeps particularly badly, unable to stop himself wondering what Tegan must think and whether she’ll ever want to see him again. He looks at her as she lies there, peacefully, and wonders what on earth she’s doing in his bed. She could do a lot better. 

“Oh, hi there, gorgeous,” she murmurs as she opens her eyes and sees him leaning over, looking at her. 

He carefully moves her hair out of her eyes. “Mornin’ beautiful.”

Her face breaks into a smile. “Mmmmm. Come here.” Pulling his face towards hers, kissing him deeply. 

He shifts, rolling on top of her and relishing the feeling of her hands underneath his unbuttoned shirt, running up and down his back. She lets one trail a little lower, grabbing a handful of his ass and pushing her hips up into his. He can feel himself getting harder, his dick is always a little more cooperative in the morning and something about her body and his drowsy state is turning him on. The thoughts that had plagued him during the night drift away and his head feels pleasantly empty. He finds himself starting to kiss and nip at her neck as she pushes his pyjama bottoms down, feeling him now too. She moves her legs to wrap them around his waist, and as his dick rubs against her pussy she feels delicious pleasure building between her legs. Drowsy too and not caring how she gets there, she moans softly at the feeling. He closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying rolling his hips against her, feeling like a teenager again. But he wants more. Moving back a little, he lines himself up with her entrance, teasing her with the tip before starting to push inside. 

But it’s not just Elvis who hasn’t done this in a long time, and Tegan almost yelps at the intrusion. She’s tight at the best of times, and with no warm up and no lube it’s almost impossible. 

“Oh!” She cries out, shifting back from him instinctively. 

The moment it happens, his erection fades. 

“Fuck,” he mutters. 

“Elvis, I’m sorry…” she begins, but he just covers himself up again and rolls off her and then out of the bed. 

“Ya want breakfast? Mary’ll make ya eggs. Or… whatever ya want. Come down when yer ready.”

She stares as he takes a robe off the door and wraps it around himself and then just walks out of the room. She feels humiliated and confused. Okay, yeah, he’d gone soft. Embarrassing. But she’d been too small for him, or too tight, or not turned on enough… she gets up slowly, putting on her clothes from the day before. She wouldn’t have minded if he’d stayed in bed and held her for a while. In fact, she’d have liked it. She wishes that’s what he’d done, rather than leaving her like this. Checking her hair in the bathroom mirror, she sighs at her reflection. Maybe if she was more attractive this would all have been easier. 

Walking slowly down the stairs, she looks around again. So opulent. But so quiet. So lonely. When she gets to the kitchen she finds Elvis staring at the Sunday papers. 

Has-been Presley dating woman half his age.

The headline is big, and as she gets nearer she can see a lot of unflattering photos of both of them. Then she sees some of the text of the article. 

Washed up King of Rock n Roll, Elvis Presley, was seen today at Memphis Zoo with a woman young enough to be his daughter. A far cry from the attractive starlets he used to be seen with, the unknown female is hardly a looker.

“Oh wow,” Tegan says, quietly. It’s one thing to know you’re not Helen of Troy, and it’s another thing to see it written there in black and white. 

Elvis had been staring at the paper for a while now, and every so often some of the words had gone in. He knew there would be a nasty story about them, but he’s unused to the reality of it after so long. And he didn’t expect them to be quite this cruel about Tegan. Hearing her voice he’s suddenly spurred into action, tearing out the pages and screwing them up, hurling them across the room. 

“Fucking assholes,” he shouts. 

She puts a hand on his arm. “Elvis, it’s okay.” She doesn’t even really believe herself at this point, after everything that’s already happened this morning, but she feels she has to say something.

“The things they wrote about ya… it’s my fault.” He turns to her and shakes his head sorrowfully. “Ya better go.”

“What?”

“Ya better go. I’m no good for ya. Jus’ go.”

“You don’t really mean that.”

“I do.”

Tegan tries begging and pleading with him, tries rationalising the situation, tries to ask why and persuade him to talk. But none of it works. He just keeps repeating that she ought to go and she’d be better off without him. It's like he's shut down completely. Despite his previous pronouncement that cabs don’t come to Graceland, he calls her one and sends her off in it. He won’t even kiss her goodbye. She sits there on the backseat trying to figure out exactly what the fuck had just happened, how she’d gone from him rutting against her in the bed one minute to throwing her out the next. And then she gets home and just cries. And cries. And wonders how the fuck she’s going to get her life back.

***

Part 6

Taglist:

@vintagepresley @arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @cattcb @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @ccab @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69 @ilovequeen978 @wildhorseinkansas @pocketfulofpresley @dkayfixates @iloveelvisss

[petrodragonicapocalypse]

GizzMay 2024 !

(a retrospective tour diary by me)

🦎✈️🎵

king gizzard & the lizard wizard announced their 2024 world tour last november with a promise to "get woke, freak out the right wingers and love each other", so i, a like any normal person working a minimum wage job, immediately bought tickets to six shows.

read about the best 2 weeks of my life here (if you wish)

part 1: hamburg & amsterdam

after half a year of planning, studying google maps, scouring airbnb for cheap rooms and wincing at the cost of transport, me and my lovely girlfriend bennie (the person who first showed me polygondwanaland back in 2019) set off on our long-awaited trip on tuesday 21st may 2024. we were going to follow the band for six shows over two weeks across four countries. neither of us had ever done something like this before.

to kick off the trip, we flew from bristol airport to amsterdam, where we were due to transfer to a flight to hamburg. typically, a thunderstorm meant our hamburg flight was cancelled, so they sent us on a detour to vienna. we ate a slice of airport pizza in austria, tried not to panic and finally rolled into hamburg at around 10pm.

hamburg

the next day (22nd may) was our first gig. with around 4000 people and a 3 hour marathon set, this was gonna be the biggest and longest show of our section of the tour, and the only outdoor one. we queued from 1.30pm (early for europeans!) outside the venue, stadtpark arena. soon, the eerie sound of synths began emanating from inside the gates, then morphing into a soundcheck for the never-played-live-before silver cord, vocoder and all, and excitement amongst the fans was stoked. the weather forecast looked ominous, but spirits were high.

at around 3pm, it started raining. it poured relentlessly on the growing line of gizzheads in ponchos clutching poster tubes and beers for 3 hours until the venue gates finally opened. we ran to the front. we were hyped. we stood for another hour while rain and mist blew around the arena and thousands of fans filed in.

finally, just as the rain died down a bit, king gizz ran out onto the stage. the slightly delirious state induced by 2 oreos for dinner and freezing my tits off for 4 hours was almost as good as drugs. all thought of the water running down my back and legs disappeared. fuck yeah!!! king gizzard!!!

the rain soon came back in full force but we didn't care. float along fill your lungs was a fantastic opener, followed by banger after banger: a nonagon suite, work this time and iron lung (with ambrose braving the weather and emerging out onto the exposed walkway in the chorus to splash around in the puddles), to name a few. then, out rolled the highly anticipated new synth table and the boys launched into the 27 minute long live debut of the silver cord.

personally i was full of joy, whimsy and love for techno so naturally i thought this was fucking awesome, but reactions from the crowd (and from the "online community" a.k.a. redditors... haha) seem to have been mixed. it was 27 minutes long, we were cold and wet, the sound was a bit dodgy, etc etc. whatever. i was vibing extremely hard.

however, any dampened spirits were very quickly raised again by the epic 7 song metal run that ended the show. the crowd went wild - turns out moshing does wonders for the cold. i heard what ended up being 2 of my all time favourite live gizz songs for the first time: organ farmer and motor spirit. it kicked ass.

we made it back to the hotel soaking wet and probably bordering on hypothermic after over 7 hours in the rain. had a hot shower and then spent the rest of the evening attempting to dry our clothes and shoes with a hairdryer before our flight the next day. did not smell good.

🦎✈️🎵

amsterdam

we flew from hamburg to amsterdam schiphol on 23rd may, with at least 5 other gizzheads (easily recognisable by their poster tubes and t shirts) dotted around the plane. we arrived to a beautiful city on a beautiful sunny day and (obviously) headed directly to the weed shops. edibles legally purchased, we dumped our stuff at the airbnb and took the train to the venue: AFAS live.

waiting in the line, it was easy to spot who'd been at stadtpark the night before from the mud on their shoes. but the weather that afternoon was sunny and warm and the line was happily buzzing. we met some cool people including a person in a long yellow coat who was drawing huge oil pastel posters for the show - rad as hell and an iconic figure of the tour (i believe they gave the band a poster that night!).

once in the venue, we settled down by the barrier (it's always worth the wait!) and chatted with some swedish guys and a friendly australian, far from home. the support band was dr sure's unusual practice, a lively melbourne based punk act with a wild-haired wild-eyed frontman, filling in last minute for grace cummings who had to cancel several shows due to illness. they put on a great show, during which stu and lucas surreptitiously appeared to watch the band from the wings a few feet away from us. we gave them a wave, and stu shot us a wink.

the setlist that night was fucking incredible. gizzard opened with the mighty crumbling castle, a song that i'd been dreaming of seeing live ever since i first heard it 5 years ago. it was better than i ever could have hoped, with the weed brownie kicking in and the stage lights becoming kaleidoscopic. the band was energetic and the vibes were electric. stu overshot a high kick, fell on his ass and managed to hop back up without missing a lyric. self immolate - dragon - flamethrower - gila monster was unreal. joey used a quiet moment in pleura to stage-whisper "free palestine!", eliciting cheers.

somewhat hilariously in retrospect, during the hypnotic drone of rattlesnake me and my girlfriend both suddenly realised we were way too high. i have vague memories of the second half of the gig, including the han tyumi suite (REALLY REALLY MAD I MOSTLY MISSED THAT) and an honest-to-god terrifying moment in which joey and ambrose walked to the front of the stage, crouched down and stared directly at us for what felt like an undefinable amount of time. ultimately though - despite our tenuous grip on reality and the fact that we somehow got lost in a train station for an hour on the way home and spent the next full day in a semi-stoned stupor - it was a fantastic show. lesson learned: the dutch do not play about their space cakes.

after a day of recovery (let's just skip over that) and a lovely morning spent wandering around amsterdam taking in the sights, bennie and i made our way back to the airport to say our goodbyes. she was going home and i was travelling on to hit up the northern UK shows. despite knowing we'd see each other again in a week for the acoustic UK finale show in brighton, it was weirdly emotional. i was a little nervous about travelling alone, but excited.

🦎✈️🎵

(end of part 1, part 2 coming soon!)

[kozumesphone]

also, second one (cause i couldnt resist)

if u seek amy! i think thatll be fun

my hobby is reading and playing the guitar!

i think i read like fifty books last year..

my fav books are pjo tlt (its nostalgic ok!!) and the hunger games series

i like to play mostly taylor swift and gracie abrams songs on the guitar!

i basically steal my sisters guitar whenever i want to play cause i dont have my own lol (im better than her)

my favorite taylor swift song is youre on your own kid

my favorite gracie abrams song is feels like

my favorite color is yellow (pretty obvious i think) it reminds me of sunshine and just overall happy things yk?

my favorite season is spring! the flowers start blooming and theyre so pretty (downside are the bugs)

i have a lot of favorite shows: stranger things, brooklyn 99, the good place, modern family

my favorite subject is chemistry! i love learning about the world around me and its properties etcetc

some random stuff about my personality: i get distracted so easily its a nightmare to study, i am an emotional wreck i cry easily, definitely a night owl, hufflepuff, daughter of poseidon

i dont mind if u pick someone from a book i dont recognise, that will just give me incentive to read it!!!

oh forgot to mention im a straight girl

love uuuu and congrats again!!!

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

CORASON⭑.ᐟ

⟢ “I love you, okay, darling!”

a/n: okay but the way the ship name is corason? which sounds so close to corazon? which means like ‘my dear’ in italian, I think?? MADE FOR EACH OTHER MUCH 🤭💓

I think you’d best match with jason grace!

I mean, daughter of poseidon x son of jupiter? hello?? PERFECTION!!

jason would learn to play the piano while you play the guitar, so you guys could play music together

he LOVES laying on your stomach while you read on your bed and run your fingers through his hair

^ sometimes, he even falls asleep like that, and you both slowly shift into cuddling

he definitely hypes you up to finish your goodreads reading goal, if not exceed it (what can I say? he’s jason grace)

he definitely went to the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie with you (supportive bfs even when they have no idea what you read/watch >>)

he once asked you why you love yoyok by taylor, and straight up bawled while you explained to him what the song meant

he’s a very sunshine-y person, just like you, so when you guys are together, leo pretends to faint and says “too much sun! i’m getting sunstroke! help!!” and he thinks he’s really funny (i’d laugh, ngl <3)

come springtime, he lets you put all the flowers you collect over the summer into his hair

^ he also does the rapunzel braid on your hair and puts in matching flowers in it

(he drives away the bugs for you, dw!)

in an au, he’d never have heard of any tv shows, but after hearing you yap to him about them, he watches them ALL and makes notes about them too (about what? only he knows.)

okay, here we’re going off the rails so badly, but it’s a very ooc and personal hc of mine: jason sucks ASS at geography and chemistry. he will literally breakdown at the very thought of them.

he gets you to help him out with the chemistry part, and he teaches you math (if you’re not good at it already)!

he makes sure you don’t let yourself get burnt out while studying, and also makes sure you don’t get distracted and procrastinate

he comforts you at any time of the day: you say it, he’ll be over asap to give you free cuddles with your favourite chocolates & drinks

sometimes, he doesn’t even need you to tell him. he’ll just. know. when you’re feeling off. and his jacie senses tingle, and he calls you up and goes, “is it cuddletime?” and then drives over

while you’re a night owl, he’s an early bird (he must teach me his way, tho, because h o w)

^ you stay up till 2-3 am reading/studying and wake up by 9 or 10 am, while he sleeps by 10 pm and wakes up by 5 am to the dot

so you guys leave each other sticky notes before going to bed for the other one to see when they wake up

you guys 100% go on bookstore dates (he buys you everything you can carry on your own), library/study dates (especially while grinding during finals szn), museum dates (to mock the statues), beach dates (so he can get mesmerised while watching you do silly little tricks with the water and talk to the fishies), etc.

his love language is 101% physical touch & acts of service <3

temp. taglist — @nuncscioquidsitamor-14 @mqstermindswift @puffoz @skeelly @urmomabby

@sunnitheapollokid @jgracie @canonfeminine @cinemaconrad @roses4plvto

@urbanflorals @aezuria @thetunnelunderoceanboulevard @cherigall @percabethluvr

@pjoverseluvr @maybxlle @mershellscape @riordanness @starlitszn

@metyouattherighttime @a-beautiful-fool @sequinsnstars @ssparksflyy @fayvpor

@iheartgirlzn @nomournersnofunerals @over-the-ocean-call @seaglass-and-string @cer3lia

@lara20aral @bloophasarrived @xoxochb @auroraofthesun1 @sophiesonlinediary

@solangelotus @brodieland @s1utlvr @imasimpdealwithit @waitingonher

@nqds @skyrigel @daydream-of-a-wallflower @hermidastouch @catastrxblues

@moon-drop18 @d4rkdi0rrr @hopelesslyromantic-shark @saltwatergirl6 @hope92100

event masterlist

[mouldymp3rotations]

1224-016

BIRTHDAYMONTHです!

I use this as an excuse to dump 10 songs on you instead of the usual five :D

Last year's Birthday Month 10 Favourites

As usual : Song titles link to individual mp3 file download

All 5 songs can also be downloaded together in a zip file from the link at the bottom

Let's go !!

BLOOD - Blood ft. Exo-chika

This is easily in my top 3 favourite BLOOD songs ! The old version is good too, but I saw this being released as both a BLOOD and an Aural Vampire fan, so i'm forever gonna be biased towards this one lol :)

This version of Blood was on the Dead-Hearted maxi-single, released in 2007 (this might or might not be my rip, but yeah, file is old lol)

Blutengel - Seelenschmerz

Is anyone shocked that my re-exploring the visual kei i was listening to 20 years ago made me want to also re-explore the rest of what I was listening, back then ? Of course, some of that meant Blutengel. I went to see what happened between now and then, and really, a lot of their stuff is forgettable and I always end up annoyed at Pohl's fake deep voice sdkjasfkhjfkhj. But I still fucking love Seelenschmerz aaaaaah !!!! And i still owe Blutengel for being my introduction to darkwave and it's entirely because/thanks to their influence that I fell for Schwarz Stein eheheheh

Seelenschmerz was the title track of the album released in 2001

Chanton L'amour - L'horloge

SONG OF ALL TIME.

SONG

OF

ALL.

TIME.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chanton L'amour was a short-lived side-project of Machi from Lareine ♥ And this one absolutely is my rip (look, i don't remember buying this either but I have it, therefore I definitely bought and ripped this :) )

L'horloge was the title track of the single single they released, in 2001

(pleeeeease let her diiie ok, she asks so nicely ;^; )

D'espairsRay - Squall

I got my partner into D'espa, this year, and this is the song that completed the conversion lol :D

Squall was a single released in 2007.

(seriously, what was it with early-mid 2000's vk and their PV taking place in derelict buildings....)

Dalida - Parle plus bas

Oups, here's Dalida again kjdjskdhjkndjkds. Yes, that's the Godfather's song. Actually, you might know this as Speak Softly Love. I'm of the opinion that this is the best version of that song to exist. I love her voice soooo much T^T/♥

Parle Plus Bas was a single from the album known as Il faut du temps, if you're French, but Dalida otherwise, all from 1972

HIM - The Sacrament

For real, i don't care much for Ville Valo, but that song has been sticking with me for about 20 years, now, so I guess it means something :3

The Sacrament is from the 2003 album, Love Metal.

(ftr, this is what i'm expecting Lestat IWTVAMC to generally look/act/sound like but blonde, if the promo vid/song is to be believed lol)

L'Âme Immortelle - 5 Jahre

L'Âme Immortelle was in a similar basket as Blutengel, to me. But when I caught up with them, I found that they had everything I liked about BlutEngel and then some ! So I've been getting more familiar with the more recent stuff, which means that I got to hear the album version of 5 Jahre ! I had only heard the shorter, single version !

5 Jahre was found on the 2004 album, Gezeiten.

The video is for the single version (i wanted the clip !), but the mp3 I'm sharing is the long version from the album :)

Nightwish - Edema Ruh

I feel like Nightwish has become a product more than a band, in the past 20 years (ngl nightwish with Floor Jansen is a huge disappointment, but that's another story and shall be told another time (all I want is a studio recording of storytime gothdamnit 😤)), but still, sometimes they still have songs that catch me. Edema Ruh is one of them, or at least the synth caught me lol.

Edema Ruh was found on Endless Forms Most Beautiful, released in 2015 (imo their last album maybe worth listening, especially if you fell off after Tarja was kicked out, but please don't hate on Anette Olzon though. We don't pit women against each other, here.)

Pierre Lapointe - Dans la forêt des mal-aimés

I think from now on, I will make a point to include at least one québécois song in my birthday month compilation, as a little personal challenge, but also because i'm from there lol.

This song, like for most of Québec, was my introduction to Pierre Lapointe. This album, at the time, gave me hope that being musically weird would be more acceptable, in the province's music scene. It didn't. Now dude's a fucking coach on our version of The Voice 💀💀💀

Dans La Forêt Des Mal-Aimés was a single off of La Forêt Des Mal-Aimés, released in 2006

Rentrer En Soi - PROTOPLASM

Oh no ! Another song of all time !

Not only is this my favourite Rentrer en Soi song, but I think this is one of the best visual kei song ever made ;w;/

Protoplasm was single released in 2006

So yeah, my favourite genre of music is still dramatic and happy birthday to me :D

↓ zippity zip ↓

♥ HERE ♥

[beheba8]

since one direction came into my life, every version of me that has existed has loved them.

at 12, i only knew the words to one thing. at 15, i got to introduce the same song to my 6 year old brother at the time who loved it so much that he would constantly make me play it on my tablet and we would jam out together. it is a core memory of mine.

and not long after, i was watching “one direction funny moments” compilations till early hours of the morning, i was so hooked.

at 14, “1D” was spray painted in massive font on my bedroom door. how i got away with putting straight up black paint on a wooden door is beyond me, but remnants of that sign exist to this day in my childhood bedroom. the same bedroom where, for 4 beautiful years, i got to build a sense of self, and get into a lot of fights on the internet, thanks to these five men.

anyone who knows me irl will tell you that to this day, even as a 25 year old college graduate, i credit my understanding of the english language to the fact that i read a lot (and i truly mean a LOT) of one direction fanfiction on wattpad. before watching your favourite concerts on a grainy livestream was a thing, teenage me was getting up at unholy hours to go on youtube and watch every single concert video from the night before. and not only did i follow OTRA from the other side of the world, i stayed in bed for 7 hours straight on 1D day.

i sobbed for hours upon hours in March of 2015, and then again for their last tour stop at Sheffield, and one more time after their performance of History on X-factor. sadness came to me easily- it was the only plausible way to feel in times like these.

i can’t say the same for myself today. i was at my desk at work, doing something on excel for a project, when i got a text from my friend, yelling at me in all caps that a member of one direction- the band that i love so dearly that even at my grown age i refuse to discuss in front of people who know me in real life because they simply won’t get it- has died. my heart sank to the floor, and i couldn’t believe that i’m meant to go about my work day as if everything is normal.

liam’s death made me dissociate from real life from the minute i heard to about ten minutes ago when i started typing this out. knowing and understanding the one direction fandom means that i knew instantly that the public noise surrounding this news will be vapid and abhorrent- especially for his victims who have been courageous enough to speak out about the abuse they have been put through by this man. the exhaustion i felt when i logged onto twitter on the 16th, from the god awful things people were putting out into the world with no regard for the very real people who are being affected by his death, is unfortunately as eerily close to 2013-2015 as i have ever felt.

much like 2013-2015, though, i couldn’t do anything but keep going on twitter. seeing posts from long dead 1D stan accounts who were the only people who could understand the deep confusion and sadness that i was feeling. my timeline hasn’t been this inundated with pure one direction content in many many years, and these were the only people who made me feel less alone. og directions, who have for a while now stopped being a supporter of liam payne for the terrible things he has done since the band’s dissolution, are the only ones who know how confusing this grief has felt.

and then came the joint statement, signed in order of oldest to youngest, from louis, zayn, niall, and harry, and their tributes to one of the 5 (now 4) people in the world who lived through the phenomenon that changed the course of music history for the rest of time. the versions of liam that each of them chose to share with the rest of the world, their love for him, and even the regrets that came from the distance that grew between them- that hurt me more than my own sorrow. at the end of the day, you can’t really take the parasocial obsession out of the teenage girl who lives in me.

i’m sad that in the wake of his death, those he has harmed are going to be unfairly and unjustifiably blamed by the insufferable people who refuse to accept that death does not absolve someone of their wrongdoings.

i’m sad over the loss of a human life, and the loss of the version of one direction- the ot5 version- that is now gone forever. the same one direction that gave me so much joy, helped me through unspeakable pain, and will mean so much to me for as long as i am alive.

[otaku-tyriq]

Do you have top 10 or top 7 favorite (fictional) characters (if you feel like listing multiple) of all time from any media?

That is actually a very tricky question, dear Anon. For you see the list if my favourite characters is CONSTANTLY changing. Similar to my list of my favourite songs haha. So I cannot give you a set "All time Favourite” list but I can offer you a "List of Characters Tyriq enjoys at this very moment on the 18th of March 2024”

1) Nero Claudius from Fate/Extra, Fate/Last Encore, Fate/Extella and Fate/Grand Order

The second I had first heard this woman say "umu” that was it for me. I knew I’d be obsessed with her for the rest of my days. She is adorable, she is loyal, she is THAT GIRL, a queen, an emperess, a goddess, and just seeing her instantly makes my brain pump out serotonin. Who even needs anti depressants when you can have Nero.

2) Vash the Stampede from Trigun Stampede

Babygirl. Princess. Loserboy. Golden Retriever Puppy. Beloved Wife. He’s adorable, pathetic, a wonderfully tragic yet optimistic character. He’s my beautiful little princess and I lay my life down before him.

3)Yoimiya from Genshin Impact

Her absolute happy go lucky attitude and sweet personality is like liquid gold shot straight into my arteries. I had fallen in love with this woman the very second I had laid eyes on her. Also she has been my main for two years at this point she’s genuinly just that fun to play.

4) Kaveh from Genshin Impact

The suffering artist trope CRANKED UP TO ELEVEN! Again like Vash this man is equally tragic as he is kindhearted and despite having been scammed out of his money multiple times he still cannot help but sacrifice his own well being if it would result in someone else’s happiness. Also before you ask: Yes, I do ship him and Alhaitham

5) Ichiban Kasuga from Yakuza

What else can I say about Ichiban other than he’s almost stupidly optimistic and no matter how hard of a curveball life throws at him, he ALWAYS keeps the attitude of "once you hit rock bottom the only way is up.”, always trying to both see and bring out the best in people. Also he’s a massive Dragon Quest fan so obviously I’d end up obsessing over this beautiful specimen of a man who at the age of 42 still is not 100% sure where women pee from.

6) Erik from Dragon Quest XI

Honestly I could have EASILY put the entire main cast of Dragon Quest XI on this list because the characters of that game are simply that likeable and well written, but if I had to choose one, it would have to be your very first party member and the hero’s best friend and totally platonic roommate Erik. This man’s sassy attitude yet undying loyalty and devotion towards the hero is so strong not even the apocalypse itself could tear the hero and Erik apart for long.

7) Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona 5

I think at this point y’all are starting to see a pattern in my favourite characters: Ryuji is loyal like a golden retriever puppy, absolutely adorable and sweet with a severe lack of Braincells.

8) Silver the Hedgehog from the Sonic the Hedgehog Franchise

Silver has literally been my favourite Sonic character since Childhood. His whole stick is that he’s unbeatable optimistic. Despite becoming from an apocalyptic future where everything is covered in flames, he never stops believing that things can become better if you try. His naivety however leads to characters like Mephilis abusing his optimism for their own agenda. But none of that stops Silver from

being one of my greatest comfort characters.

9) William James Moriarty from Moriarty the Patriot

✨Be Gay. Do Crime✨

✨Communism✨

✨Clinical Depression✨

All these things and more describe William James Moriarty and he’s so valid for it.

10) The Professor from Puppet History

He’s just a little guy. He’s a little guy and it’s his birthday

[st4rrmii]

1. What are Lucien’s comfort songs?

2. Would he commit tax fraud?

3. What does he like most about himself?

4. What does he dislike most about himself?

5. Favourite memory?

6. What’s one of his pet peeves?

7. How did he get his scar on his face?

8. Does he have any hidden talents?

1.Birds of a Feather-Billie Eilish, Die with a Smile-Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars, Be With You-Ateez, Home-Seventeen, Sweet Sacrifice-Evanescence

2.Bold of you to assume he isn't actively committing it.

3.Physical Appearance wise his hair, he's worked on it for YEARS, it is his pride and joy. Him as a person wise probably his ability to stay calm in dangerous situations.

4.Most things actually /hj. Mainly his lack of communication, he wants to be able to communicate his feelings so bad but whenever he tries he just- shuts down. Its made so many situations that were easily fixable so much worse and he hates it.

5.The day Mia was brought home, it was the last day his family was ever fully together and happy and he cherishes it.

6.People who don't listen and then get mad about something that wouldn't be a problem HAD THEY LISTENED. Pisses him the fuck off.

7.A BRAD that was under Daniel's control, Mae did manage to get him stitched up without Daniel knowing. Kenji does not know.

8.Makeup, most people don't know it because he doesnt get the chance to wear it a lot, but he is an insane makeup artist, his halloween looks always body. Speaking of halloween, fashion design/making is another one, he's always loved fashion but once he jad his growth spurt he had to learn how to upsize/make a LOT of his outfits.

[mimiso-soup]

Because the song was released today, I need to talk about one of my favourite Vocaloid duet ever. If my friends don't associate me with this song, then I'm clearly doing something wrong. /hj

The song? 'Ice breaker' by NejishikiP featuring Yuzuki Yukari & IA, which is now 5 years old!!

Gonna be rambling a lot, so more under the cut! It's going to mostly be about my feelings towards the song itself and my personal interpretation of its meaning! It's stupidly long because there's just so many things I love about this song so sorry in advance dfgfnhfg

Firstly, my feelings towards 'Ice breaker' overall!

While this wasn't my first Nejishiki song I listened to, after finding his channel, I quickly became invested in Nejishiki's music for a number of 5 things:

Nejishiki mainly uses Yuzuki Yukari, one of my favourite Vocal Synths of all time.

He also uses IA, another Vocal Synth I love.

His songs are mainly composed on the jazzier side, specifically jazz fusion and electro swing. I heavily lean towards jazz music, which, combined with Yukari, is meant for jazz music, this means automatic interest for me.

When it comes to duets, he often uses YukaIA. I am a huge YukaIA shipper.

One of his main themes in his music is yuri. And I fucking love yuri.

And before anyone tries to prove me wrong about Nejishiki shipping YukaIA, I need you all to know that this is in the description in English.

I'm not musically talented to really talk about the musical aspects of the song. But just listening to it, there's something that just sounds like "desire", which I feel fits the song well.

Secondly, my personal interpretation of the song.

I don't know any Japanese and I have to heavily rely on translations (the ones on Youtube and the one on the Wiki are somewhat different, but I'll be referencing to both). I also tend to miss notable details in the MV (which is a shame because I really enjoy Danjou Sora's MVs), so there might be a lot of things that I could be missing about the song's meaning. (As I'm writing this, I'm going back and forth between typing and watching the MV.)

How I see this song, I always knew that YukaIA love each other here. But it's not exactly what's considered a "typical" romantic relationship. From they are portrayed in the song, they seem to have a "friends with benefits" type of relationship where they only see each other for. Specific reasons. But with the lyrics, it feels like that they want more than that. They want to actually be together and date without just being together for sex.

The title seems to add to that. An 'ice breaker' is often referred to a thing where people do activities (play games, starting a conversation, etc) so it can "break the tension" between people. It is also a drink. In the song, it seems to refer to the drink with the Wiki translated line of 'Your tears fall into the glass and become a bittersweet cocktail of sorrow' but I think it refers to both. It feels that YukaIA haven't exactly "broken the ice" between them and with the lines 'when will we see each other again? weeping and crying', they only see each other for one purpose.

One of my favourite details in the MV is the line 'mousou wa kumo no ito' at 1:24 and 3:34, which roughly translates to 'delusion is a spiderweb'. In those moments, a thin thread snaps as if to say "the thin thread holding onto reality is broken easily".

I'm not the best as these kinds of things, so I could be wrong about these things. If anyone has any interpretations about the song, please let me know!

Overall, please, please, please listen to the original! It just recently reached a million views last year (and last year, I listened to this song at least 100 times a day to help get it there /hj), it's criminally underated. There are so many human covers that are more popular than it, and while human vocals aren't bad (I listen to utaites as much as I listen to Vocal Synth music on a daily basis!) It's the kind of song where there will be hundreds of covers, but the original itself isn't popular. And as someone who cherishes the original, it's quite saddening. So please, listen to this song as many times possible today!

Sorry, this is such a messy rambling that I wish was more organized and more well written. I have so many feelings for this song and I'm not the best with these kinds of things. (maybe I'll clean this up in the future fdgfndbg)

[moonchild-in-blue]

went outside to let one of my kitties play in the snow while the train was passing, the neighborhood was very peaceful and quiet. 💚

(i dressed appropriately for the cold, I promise)

Like street lamps, we glow so dim Like four walls, you've shut me in

I took a while to reply to this because I got weirdly emotional (what a surprise, pathetic wet cat girl is crying again), and rambled waay too much, so I'll spare you all and keep this under a cut.

Warning, this is Long and makes very little sense - I drafted it earlier this morning but wanted to get a picture of that ^ before posting. Also ignore my mistake lol, I should've double checked the lyrics beforehand.

You, know I spent a very long time last night looking at this picture. Something about the orange glow on the white layer of snow that is just... so peaceful and melancholic. I have a weird attraction to street lights - can't really explain why, but something about them makes me weirdly emotional (when I say I easily cry at the weirdest things, I'm not kidding in the slightest).

And then the snow.

Where I'm from, where I live, we don't have snow. Ever. Save for a small part of the very north of the country, the rest of us never get it - plenty of hail, and 5 minutes of barely-snow during a particularly cold day if you're extremely lucky, but never the real deal.

The first time I saw real, white, fluffy snow was during the autumn of 2016, right after moving to the UK for my studies. I was 19. It was such a beautiful moment - me and a bunch of other students from the dorms went out in our pjs at like, 4 or 5am to play in the snow. The first heavy snow I experienced was 2 years later, November 2018.

For the few years I lived there, I got to live through some wonderful snow days. It was amazing to wake up, look out my apartment window, and see the whole street covered in white. It's the one thing I genuinely miss about the UK.

Seeing this picture, the cars covered in white, the golden orange light, the night, dark and silent and peaceful, brought back so many memories of my early 20s nights. Getting home at 1am, exhausted and on the verge of tears, after a shitty shift at work. Me and my flatmates singing on the streets after one too many drinks at our favourite pub. 3am runs to the dingiest takeaway possible for oily chips and disgusting pizza.

So much of these seemingly ordinarily experiences are things that I will never get to live again. And that's fine and expected - I can't be 22 forever, and thank God I'm not! But I do get nostalgic about those times.

Sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that I was waiting on the cold for a taxi after a house party, annoyed at myself for not kissing the guy I had a crush on. Sometimes they feel so distance, like forgotten memories belonging to someone else. And I don't know, this kinda brought back so many emotions, I had to take a moment to sort them out.

This also reminded me of a Midwest Emo album cover. Like, I can 100% see this picture on the next Real Friends / The Wonder Years / American Football / whatever band cover.

In particular, it reminded me of these two songs (aside from that first song I shared. Which btw I can't reccomend them enough). They're a bit sad (no surprises there), and not really related to your photo at all, but uhhhh yeah. I'm sharing anyways. Because why not.

Something about midwest emo/pop-punk bands that just puts you in a hyper contemplative mood 👍

If you read this whole nonsense ramble, I apologise. Once I get sentimental, it's hard not to pour over. I will never not be a sad emo girl, no matter how much time it passes lol 💙💚

Here's a nice cookie for your troubles 🤲🍪

[whalefossils]

get to know me!!

tagged by @egorsey WAH THANK YOU

last song?

along came a spider by tesco value (Czeslaw Spiewa), i have been listening to it for the last like 3 weeks i don't. i don't know why. freak music for meeeeeee

favourite colour?

i think right now its red, but very specifically like a dark maroon red with a bit of pink. i dont know what that's called. its like a dark wine red??? but i love yellow and purple and blue SO I DONT KNOW!!

currently watching

uhm. oh boy. i dont watch tv much anymore. i technically started watching succession a bit ago but admittedly ive only seen like. two episodes. sortof kinda started rewatching dirk gently's holistic detective agency too but similarly i just get distracted so easily.

last movie?

unsurprisingly, its saw 2004! i've watched it like 5 times in the last 2 months help

sweet/spicy/savoury?

i gotta go savoury. i will go apeshit over some good savoury food. but also as a self proclaimed glutton i will eat pretty much anything you give me. i am also a little fiend for drinks so maybe sweet? oh shit.

relationship status

taken for five years and counting babeyyyyy !!

current obsession?

can i be real its like 500 things right now. big one is saw 2004 currently but its backed up by my constant love of dishonored/deathloop/prey. you can always assume those are somewhere in my brain at all times regardless of my current hyperfixation.

last thing you googled?

"cafe maspero new orleans" because i went there once and it was so bad i was like. shocked. sucked ass. if you're in new orleans go literally anywhere else

tagging UHHHH. @ravenlaguz and @irkedisaac and @wei-kla IF YA FEEL LIKE IT because you guys are cool :)

[picathartidae]

For the most recent round of ask game I'd love to hear your answers for 5, 9, 23, and 26. 💙

I'm still answering for Alassane, despite him being a Dark Urge, because my Tavs are all from a different D&D setting and none of them are sufficiently fleshed out when it comes to the Forgotten Realms. I really hope that's okay!

5. Did your Tav have any formal or informal employment? If yes, what was their job? If no, how did they make ends meet? How did they feel about it?

The closest Alassane ever got a real job was when he was about 10/11 years old and found himself homeless and briefly wandering the Outer City. Through various wacky happenstance, a blacksmith took pity on him and he ended up becoming the man’s apprentice for a few years. It ended, as all nice things in Alassane’s backstory do, with murder, when he was 15. From that point on, he was a career criminal and assassin, and finally ending up as an adventurer/mercenary during and after the events of the game.

It all instilled a very blunt pragmatism in Alassane, as well as a general lack of respect for money or the concept of private property. He doesn’t have strong feelings about what he does, he just does whatever he has to in order to survive and achieve his goals.

9. What was your Tav doing when they were taken by the mind flayers?

He was catatonic, as he had been for maybe nine months by that point, and imprisoned in the mind flayer colony deep beneath Moonrise Towers. Then his pod was shoved onto a nautiloid, and the rest is history.

23. What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to?

I always struggle with these kinds of questions, because I don’t really engage with songs based on lyrics, but rather entirely on vibes. Alassane’s vibes are mainly aggressive electronic, grunge, and alt rock — with a few bits of other extremely eclectic nonsense thrown in. The best I can do are songs I have written Alassane doing things to, and why I picked them.

1991, by Golden Features

This is literally the song I wrote the dance scene in his first chapter to, and is probably the closest I have to a ‘main theme’. It’s electronic nonsense with no lyrics at all, which I liked and thought fit him because the heavy synth feels very artificial and unnatural in a medieval fantasy setting. Since Alassane (as the Dark Urge) was created rather than born, it seemed very accurate for the character, and helps give off this terrifying and uncanny vibe. And I could so very easily imagine him doing an impromptu Fosse-style jazz ballet dance routine to this song.

Let You Go, by RY X

For slower and more introspective scenes, usually dream sequences that aren’t outright nightmares. This is very much a song for post-amnesia Alassane that kind of has come to represent his growth as a character because there is actually a bit of symmetry with his arc in the lyrics.

Elddansurin, by Heilung

It’s a good aggressive sounding song with lots of percussion and growling that flows into something a bit softer and more melodic as the song goes on. It’s got some nice dualism to it, and I think that reflects Alassane’s whole deal very nicely. Heilung is also one of my favourite bands and this song is amazing fun to write violence to.

26. Does your Tav have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

He’s not an overly sentimental guy, at least not about material possessions. The closest thing he has to a treasured possession is a serrated dagger he woke up with on the nautiloid, and that’s because it’s basically the only connection he has to his past after the amnesia. Before he lost his memories, I doubt that knife meant anything to him at all.

What he is sentimental about is his name, which is its own complicated mess of a subplot that relates to his foster family and how he perceives himself. It's his last connection to the person he wishes he still was, when he was still an innocent child and before Bhaal ruined everything. His foster family was desperately important to him, and their murder was what broke him. He clings to his name in the vain hope that one day, he can find that boy in himself again.

[redgoldblue]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

tagged by @itwoodbeprefect - i have also been thinking about this so thank you for taking the initiative!

tagging @faorism @gallantrejoinder if you'd care to do this in any form (including as writing/art review)!

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 52,220, apparently. Which is actually... basically last year's but minus 10k because I didn't do H50 Big Bang this year, because med school. most things in my life now can be stated as 'because med school'. (actually I just realised I didn't do it last year either, but that was because I was already finishing a 10k H50 fic. so my point stands)

fics posted: either 6 or 29, depending on whether one counts the advent calendar as one fic or 24. plus 3 posted only on Tumblr.

first fic: love don't treat you like that (babe, I'm letting you know) (H50). on the NINTH of january, apparently. i've already lost my first-fic-of-the-year contest to last year, unless i unexpectedly finish something today.

last fic: Advent Calendar 2023 / ...Zaph Kilkane, the pre-eminent climate scientist of the 22nd century...

-

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

would you believe I literally did not repeat a fandom this year, outside of the advent calendar. and this year's AC had the most fandoms since 2019.

Hawaii Five-0 (McDanno)

NCIS: LA (Sallen)

Starsky & Hutch (S/H)

House MD (Hilson)

MASH (Punnihawk)

and then AC-only ones:

Star Trek (Spirk)

The Man From UNCLE (Napollya)

911 (Buddie)

Due South (i don't know ship names. are there ship names? Fraser/RayK)

Good Omens (Azcrow)

Leverage (thiefsome)

Almost Paradise (Ernesto/Alex. alesto. i'm coining it)

-

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

I mean, I have 6 posted fics that can be kudosed separately.

love don't treat you like that (babe, I'm letting you know) (H50)

When You're Loving Me (That's When I'm Loving You) (NCIS: LA)

Advent Calendar 2023 (see above. nine fandoms)

my powers of expression and thoughts so sublime / could never do you justice in reason or rhyme (House MD)

Finding A Cure In You (S&H)

-

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

okay, I'm going to count distinct chapters of the advent calendar for this. in no particular order and subject to mood change:

When You're Loving Me (That's When I'm Loving You) (NCIS: LA) - I cited this as a contender for my favourite fic I've written a couple months ago, so obviously it has to go in the year's. what can i say, fake dating is an immaculate trope, and this also all came onto the page very easily which is always vaguely miraculous.

there you go pulling me right back in (H50) - sometimes vague prompts i've had down for ages write up as something that's. fine, but a bit clunky, and I just have to move on bc it's the advent calendar and a new fic each day. sometimes I start writing them and they spring into life with joyous delight. or in this case, uninhibited grumpiness and love.

singing yesterday's songs wishing i could be with you tonight (MASH) - the one that didn't make it into the top 5 kudosed, I assume partially due to being locked and partially due to being a serious tone, not terribly shippy, and Peg POV. But I've had some version or other of it for a long time, it's one of those stories I'm genuinely proud of, and I was glad to finally post it.

Totally Normal (Due South) - it's fun. it was fun. I was slightly nervous about it, because the only prior Due South thing I'd written was Dief POV and this was Fraser and RayK POV and the first time writing either of those, but it turns out watching + liveblogging four and two seasons, respectively, of a character in four months is. enough to cement their voices in my head. it was unexpectedly easy and also. fun.

Festive Spice (MUNCLE) - i just think it epitomises the advent calendar. in the words of coolbreezemage, 'yesssss bake cakes and kiss your partner'.

HMs:

Finding A Cure In You (S&H) - this doesn't make it to the above list due to the fact that I haven't actually managed to reread it since I posted it. but just for the amount of time I spent with it, how different it is to my usual M.O. of writing, and the weird way I wrote it (entirely in the notes app, with almost zero rereading while writing), I have to somehow mention it.

A Thousand Words / To Be Spared (Good Omens) - I don't know if they're favourite but I do think they're good. and the format of to be spared was pleasingly experimental and i think it worked.

-

Fandom Fic Events 🤝

also the Starsky & Hutch SHarecon zine! which the zine still holds copyright on, but will be posted in April.

-

Projects for 2024 👀

mmm gonna sort this differently and also ramble

Ones that will definitely be finished in 2024 and if they aren't you have free rein to come to my house and tie me to a chair come November: MUNCLE wip, The Unwitting Truth Affair/The Honesty Affair, I haven't actually decided which title yet;

Starsky & Hutch, the still-unnamed Huggy & Pete wip.

Ones I have both hope and some amount of faith will be finished in 2024 and if they aren't you have free rein to come into my inbox and harass me about them: Hawaii Five-0 wip, Much Ado About Something (*salutes squares*);

other Hawaii Five-0 wip, state of disrepair. yes, I'm manifesting state of disrepair 2024. probably november/december 2024, but i'm manifesting it anyway;

Leverage wip, all that I want is a kind heart to haunt

Ones I would like to be finished in 2024, and if my brain decides it likes them might be, but all you have free rein for is to politely ask me about them once per business month: Hawaii Five-0 cath/steve/danny pwp, Wait A Minute Let Me Take You There;

horny S&H wip, Previews Of Your Body Driving Me Insane;

S&H Vanessa coda, so cordial / so rotten (don't ask me);

Good Omens wip, love won't you be as you've always been

Ones I don't expect to finish in 2024 but would like to get some words down in: angsty S&H wip, Relentless As The Rain;

ridiculous undercover H50 wip, Four Seasons of Love;

other ridiculous H50 wip, The Irritating, Annoying, Infuriating, (Effective) Seduction Techniques of One Steven J. McGarrett;

SPN ..wip? depending on the time limit on 'progress'?, Smells Like Turpentine.

vague thoughts: i'd like to write a full-length (for whatever value of that. the AC ones actually were full-length, especially the second one, but what I really mean is AC-independent) due south fic. they're very weird and i enjoyed writing them, and I'd also like to write something with RayV in it. maybe if I successfully inspired @itwoodbeprefect to write new ds, when she does that it will inspire me to write something, and we can set up a ping-pong game. no, wait, that's mixing fandoms.

I expect more MUNCLE fic. this one's already 3.5k and rocketing along, and i'm only two-thirds of the way through season 1. what form that will take i don't know at this stage but we'll see.

....i was discussing the vague concept of house/h50 crossover fic with squares literally yesterday and on the one hand I haven't written a crossover since 2014 and also don't want that to be my legacy, but on the other hand i think there is at least a 50% chance it's going to stick in the back of my brain and keep niggling.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 07/12/2024 (Christmas Garbage)

If you were sick of me talking about Christmas-themed double A-sides from the incredibly long special feature earlier this week… I have bad news. There are two debuts and one of them’s Rudolph. Gracie Abrams is at #1 on the UK Singles Chart for a fifth week with “That’s So True”, otherwise, it’s all merriment so have a wintry welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: death

Rundown

Okay, so once we’re fully in the Christmas weeks, time isn’t real, structure is gone and we may as well have fun with it, so let’s start the rundown with the top five instead, and in reverse order, because why not? Gracie Abrams is at #1, sure, then we have “Last Christmas” by Wham! at #2, “APT.” by ROSÉ and Bruno Mars at #3, “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez at #4, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey at #5, and whilst we’re here, I won’t talk about all the Christmas gains simply for how many there are – just returns, new peaks and the top five – therefore shout out to Brenda Lee at #6 with “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”.

With that out of the way, let’s plunge right into holiday music, as in December, the rundown is “what came back?” and “what left?” nearly exclusively. We shall bid a very informal welcome back to the late Frank Sinatra’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” at #75, Justin Bieber’s “Mistletoe” at #66, Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)” at #62, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas” by Perry Como, the Fontaine Sisters, Mitchell Ayres and his orchestra at #60, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love at #56 (one of my personal favourites), “Carol of the Bells” by John Williams at #53, “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter at #51 (not sure how that one snuck in the stocking, but it returned too), “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #50, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by… oh, don’t make say it – John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band with the Harlem Community Choir – at #49, “I Wish it Could Be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard at #46, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #45, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #44 and “Feliz Navidad” by José Feliciano at #40, as well as new peaks for last week’s Amazon originals, “Christmas Magic” by Laufey at #39 – she also has a new peak for “Winter Wonderland” at #24 – and “It Can’t Be Christmas” by Tom Grennan at #25. Oh, and our only notable gains outside of festivities are “The Days” by Chrystal at #38 because of new remixes, I’m pretty sure, I’ve yet to hear them, as well as “Messy” by Lola Young at #35.

So, what left to make room for all that? Well, most of it’s going to com back but you know the jist by now, no one new to this blog will read this of all episodes as a first read, but still: notable dropouts. UK Top 75. Five weeks. Peak in the top 40. ‘Tis what I cover, and ‘tis the season. This week, we bid farewell to “Juno” by Sabrina Carpenter, “St. Chroma” by Tyler, the Creator featuring Daniel Caesar, “labour” by Paris Paloma, “I Only Smoke When I Drink” by nimino, “Burning Down” by Alex Warren, “Heavy is the Crown” by Linkin Park, “Somedays” by Sonny Fodera, Jazzy and D.O.D, “Close to You” by Gracie Abrams, “Move” by Adam Port, Stryv, Keinemusik, Orso and Malachiii, “Kisses” by BL3SS and CamrinWatsin featuring bbyclose – wow, all the EDM-pop ensemble casts exiting today – then “HOT TO GO!” by Chappell Roan, “I Had Some Help” by Post Malone featuring Morgan Wallen and “Austin (Boots Stop Workin’)” by Dasha. I could have easily missed some here, but if I did… I don’t know, go watch Spectrum Pulse, let’s talk about a reindeer.

New Entries

#72 – “Run Rudolph Run” – Mark Ambor

Produced by Mark Ambor, Parker Sundby and Alex Mak

If you didn’t like Amazon Music originals – I don’t either – how about “Spotify Singles”? No, this isn’t a dating site for Clairo fans, this is a series of singles Spotify has been pushing out for years, and this is the “Belong Together” guy’s recording of Chuck Berry’s jovial Christmas classic about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The original 1958 recording is a fun rock and roll ditty that is fully in Berry’s wheelhouse and features very high praise of Rudolph being the “mastermind” of the other reindeers, as well as some cute dialogue between Santa Claus and some stereotypical kids of the age. He also completely makes a reindeer up – “Randolph” is not usually included in the list, but I feel like Berry ad-libbed in an early take that was used as the final recording, and it just stuck. This version first charted in 1964, peaking at #36 whilst The Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand”, a Christmas #1 I discussed in that last special episode, was topping the chart. It returned in 2019 and has thus far reached as high as #49 on the annual Christmas flush. This new version from Ambor is cute enough and you can tell a lot of fun was had recording it, but it may ramp up the bubblegum a bit too much with those coy backing doo-wop harmonies and a very gentle, faceless delivery that is really far away from Berry’s original, richer recording. Part of why old 50s and 60s Christmas music that sounds straight out of a Claymation special works is because of the warmth of their performers that can sell the charm of the ridiculous fantasy characters but not overdo the saccharine children’s story elements, which are always present but often not the focus since the songs are performed with some degree of subtlety or awareness. This is not, and that’s fine – neither is “Underneath the Tree” and I like that song – but this feels like pure bubblegum novelty instead of anything worth returning to over the original.

#55 – “Empty Out Your Pockets” – Juice WRLD

Produced by Nick Mira

For Christmas dinner, we’re feasting on a five year-old corpse. Whoever at Interscope in charge of Juice WRLD’s masters has pumped out a presumably final posthumous album, The Party Never Ends, compiled of mostly useless, demo-esque leftovers that have been scrapped together and “cleaned up” partly in post by Cashmere Cat, benny blanco, etc. with a few tracks just kept relatively untouched from their leaks. Given this is one verse and solely produced by Juice’s frequent collaborator Nick Mira, I assume this can be included in that, but it doesn’t make it particularly good, or give it any reason to justify its release. Juice had a knack for catchy freestyling, but there is no structure to this, I don’t think there ever was intended to be until the lines were punched in for a vaguely cohesive flexing verse that still derails into a repetitive bridge before returning to the copy-pasted chorus. It’s basically a recording of Juice doing word association fragmented together into a “song” over a decent enough piano-led trap beat. Clearly unfinished, clearly laying there and placed on the album with little effort for a late-year release, I’m just glad this newest record isn’t proving nearly as successful so maybe the dead man’s vault can stop being raided for so-called grails.

Conclusion

Let’s be real: who cares? What song’s better, everyone – posthumous Juice WRLD leftover slop or a milquetoast cover of a children’s song that a corporation made the guy record? Can I give any of this “Best of the Week”, really? If there even is a week to speak of, what’s the point of crowning the best of the two? It’s like choosing between foot-and-mouth disease and… it’s the Christmas chart in two weeks, no idea what’s going on next week if anything, but I’ll see you then.

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, November 14th, 2024.

What have you been up to today? Anything interesting? I haven't been up to much at all. I've watched some YouTube, vacuumed my room and the upstairs hallway, and later I'm going to be making a pecan pie to take to the animal shelter tomorrow.

What was the last thing you ate? Oatmeal with fruit, peanut butter, chocolate syrup, part of a Carnation instant breakfast packet, and sprinkles.

Do you know how to knit? Who taught you? I used to know how to knit and could easily pick it back up again if I wanted to. No one taught me. Well, that is to say, no one personally taught me. I watched videos and learned from there.

What state or territory were you born in? Louisiana.

What’s your favourite genre of music? I have been loving classical music lately. We've even started playing that station at work as nighttime ambiance for the cats, but sometimes we will leave it on during the day as well. I also enjoy classic rock, as well as some grunge, stoner/psychedelic, alternative, folk, and indie. A little bit of pop and hip-hop/rap.

Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? A few times.

Are you currently downloading anything? I'm not currently downloading anything, but like I mentioned in a recent survey, I am strongly considering getting into Stardew Valley. It seems relaxing and cute. At least three of my coworkers play, and I want to get in on the fun and discussions.

Have you seen any good movies lately? Tell me about them. Wild Robot and Inside Out 2.

Does your father have any facial hair? He shaves regularly, but he might have some stubble. I don't really pay much attention.

What’s your favourite thing to eat for breakfast? Oatmeal. I have it on an almost daily basis. If I went out to eat, then I would probably get something like a breakfast skillet with eggs over easy and toast.

Did your grandparents teach you anything? I never knew my grandparents on my mom's side (her mom died when she was a child and her father was abusive so we never met him). I only saw my grandparents on my dad's side a few times before they passed away. I don't recall them teaching me anything in particular.

Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? I don't, but if I ever went back to school, then it would most likely be for veterinary technology. I would already have a foot in the door at the animal shelter. It's not something I'm serious about at the moment, but let's call it a nebulous 5-10 year plan.

Have you ever written a song for or about somebody? About someone, maybe. But for someone, I don't think so.

Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favourite? Naw. They've never been my thing.

Spotify, Pandora or something else entirely? YouTube.

What colours do you wear the most? Black, blue, pine green, and shades of gray.

What was the last alcoholic beverage you had? Beer at that fundraising event over the summer.

How many televisions do you have in your house? How big is the biggest? Two. I don't know exactly how big they are, but they're not huge. We also don't really use them anymore.

Have you ever been to Arizona? Did you like it? Yeah. We went there when I was in elementary school to stay with some friends of my dad's. I loved the desert landscape around their home. Huge saguaro cacti. Very neat.

Are you a gossip-loving sort of person? Unfortunately, yes. It's a character flaw that I'm trying to eliminate. Especially in the workplace. I understand venting frustrations, but beyond that…it doesn't do me or anyone else any good. It's such a difficult habit to get out of, though. People are always talking about other people, and it's awkward to distance myself and not participate. It's also extremely tempting.

What brand of laptop or computer do you own or use most often? I have a Dell desktop.

What did you have for dinner last night? Mixed veggies with sriracha sauce and a toasted cheese and jalapeno sandwich.

How old were you when you learned to tie your own shoelaces? I have vague memories of being taught while I was in Louisiana, so maybe around 3-4 years old.

Have you ever felt like you were making a mistake when dating someone?

When was the last time it rained where you live? I think there was a bit of rain mixed in with the snow we got about a week ago.

What brand are the shoes you last wore? I'm not sure. They're just a cheap pair I bought at Walmart because my hiking shoes were falling apart.

Do you think you look similar to your siblings? You could probably tell by our facial features that we're related, but our bodies/builds are different.

When was the last time you sat in the back seat of a car? I think it would have been when my parents and I went to see the new Wonka movie.

Are you good at answering random general knowledge trivia questions? Depends on the subject.

Have you ever been obsessive over calories, exercise etc.? Yeah.

What is your favourite shape of pasta? Elbows, spirals, and shells.

Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? I haven't.

Are you going to work or school tomorrow? Yeah. Full day at the animal shelter.

When did you wake up today? A little after 6:00am.

What is the time right now? It's 9:23am.

[musicreveiwsbyezti]

What's up babygirls (literally no one reads my blog) here's my March topster

This month was mostly shit I thought it would be interesting to listen... so lot of metal again. Also for the sake of my sanity I have 2 records that I genuinely don't know what the fuck I should do with.

Unrated: Current 93-I have a special plan for this world (Dark Ambient/Poetry): Arguably the best scary stuff I have ever listened but I never want to hear this again as once was perfectly enough. It gives a really disturbing atmosphere and the poetry part itself was interesting too. I highly recommend checking it out at least once. Slipknot-Iowa(Nu metal): I don't get it. The instrumentation is good but the lyrics are so god damned corny that it hurts. It doesn't help that it sounds like death metal for people who don't want to listen to actual death metal. I probably give it another chance later... not now tho I still can't take The Heretic Anthem seriously.

Alright now the actual tierlist begins:

14th: Combat Wounded Veteran-Electric Youth Crew(Powerviolence): I had a small journey and sat down to listen through the entire CWV discography (it's not that long definitely recommend it to get into powerviolence) and this is arguably the "weakest" of their releases. It doesn't really stand out and can be forgotten easily.

13th: CWV-This Is Not an Erect, All-Red Neon Body (Powerviolence/Grindcore): Idk it just doesn't click as well as IKAGWDCSP.

12th: Death-The Sound of Perseverance(Death/Prog Metal):Jesus Christ this album was a major disappointment for me. As a last Death album I expected it to be a last brutal yet technically extreme blast...but they just had to listen to 30 hour acid freeform jazz or some shit to get inspiration. This album has genuine fire songs, but they just had to fuck up the in the middle with a boring ass bass "solo" or someshit... Also the Painkiller cover is the worst song I heard this year so far, how the fuck can you ruin a perfect song when you are already a talented vocalist is beyond me.

11th: CWV-Duck Down for the Torso(Powerviolence/Grindcore): A short and sweet end for CWV's discography. Having it end on a Folded Space song was a great choice which gives an interesting feeling for the end.

10th: Stabbing-Extirpated Mortal Process(Brutal Death/Slam metal): Now this is a good slam metal album.

9th: Sematary-Bloody Angel(Horrorcore/Chicago drill): After Sems last EP I thought it was over... BUT IT ISN'T! It gives vibes of RB2 with RB3 mixing with some HAW mixed in. He can cook just let him do his thing :pray:

8th: Spycada-Hiking Lung(Psychedelic rock): It's good, great vibe, good tones, overall enjoyable. Looking forward to their next stuff.

7th: Magrudergrind-Self title(Grindcore/Powerviolence): THE grindcore album. Absolutely slaps, the sample use is interesting.

6th: Igorrr-Spirituality and Distortion(Avant Guard Metal/Breakcore) This... is Schrödinger's kitchen. I don't know if the kitchen is burned down or has served a 5 star menu, until I care to write an actual criticism of it. (Also the mixing of metal, break core and classical music is insane and the sheer heaviness this album gives is phenomenal, though it falls of gradually on the second half)

5th:Sweet Trip-Velocity : Design : Comfort(IDM/Glitch Pop) At least 200 people already circle jerk around this album, yes it is good, no I don't explain why I love it because I ain't talking about why breathing air is good.

4th:Have a nice life-Deathconsciousness(Post Punk/Shoegaze): Same as last time, people already told you enough why it's good, just fucking listen through it already. (side note some of the songs on this albums mixed weirdly quite for some reason, and it's kinda wack how the drone parts are the best, but still really good)

3th: Dead in the Dirt-The Blind Hole(Grindcore/Powerviolence) Jesus I listen to a lot of powerviolence this month... Anyways this is probably my favourite pw record yet. Probably the more understandable vocals help to lift it just a little bit above the rest for me.

2th:Mastodon-Leviathan(Sludge metal/Prog metal) Fun fact in the 2000's 2 whale concept prog metal albums came out, both of which are peak. I don't know how they got The Moby Dick nailed so well in metal form but they sure did with heavy riffs and amazing vocal performances.

1th: Electric Wizard-Witchcult Today(Stoner/Doom metal): I was afraid to check out the rest of EW discography after Dopethrone cuz it is too peak... However this album is probably as good as Dopethrone. Something about this album gives more OG metal vibes with less insanity.