#favourite character ever im putting him in the microwave

[aajae]

look at this dumb fuck

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ friday 13th of december

⋆˙⟡

i woke up on time i can recall i even woke up early enough to have time to do a full face of makeup and well, be there on time

this mornings weigh in made me feel disgusting… but.. it’s ok, i told myself. i got ready and left my house with a pretty outfit that would be more beautiful on somebody skinnier than me ;; i truely disgust myself hahaha

college went fine, i actually got some good good work done in my first class, i made the entire thing in ice cream colors.. brown pink and soft pastel yellow.

4 zero sugar energy drinks

my second class also went ok. during my first class i put all 4 of my energy drinks on the table and that made everyone laugh so they put their drinks too which resulted in this photo being taken. peep my mutual putting his thumbs up lol. during my second class i finished a concept of my assignment and i got to starting the lineart of the final project but im still far from done.

after college i went with my best friend to the store and he got me these hairclips, im very happy with them. he probably knew i was hella triggered watching him spending a lot of money on someone that is not me but i hope that person is happy with what she’s getting.

i went to the store and i bought an onigiri cause i was craving it. when going home i debated if i should walk home after i get out of the train or if i should take the bus since i already had 10 k steps.. but i saw a triggering tiktok so i decided to walk. while walking i felt sickly and tired, i barely felt present all day and this walk more than ever was me just skipping through time in 0 degree weather… but anything for some extra steps.

dinner / omad : a bowl of pasulj (bean soup), 1 piece of schnitzel, some mayo, burek mom made with idk some vegetable filling. a rice cake with jam. an onigiri

cals : 752

if you care about the soup or schnitzel read yesterdays post. the burek was good, my mom always makes good tasting variations of it. the mayo was to dip my schnitzel in idk. i finally learned how to properly use our new microwave so for the first time in a while all of my food was actually warm. like fr fr.

i let myself have that onigiri cause i walked home. i know i shouldn’t be rewarding myself with food i know it’s gross but give me a break. i wanted to have a kinder bueno but i told myself i could have it the next day if i just fasted for the rest of this one. i finished a litre of pepsi zero to cope lol, it helped.

before bed i read my old story chats about my favourite characters, it gave me comfort when i needed it the most, as i was really hurt by something at the time (still am) and i needed something comforting. i shared some of the dialogue with eli who was keeping me company at the time.

total cals : 752

total steps : 15.2 k

song for today, recently i’ve been feeling more and more shameful about how i look and how i feel, it feels so good to be sick yet i don’t feel sick enough, i feel painfully average even knowing im now the smallest person in my class… i still feel like i could get thinner, dangerously so.. and im nowhere near there. i have a thighgap my ribs show my collarbones show but i just look thin, not sick. it’s driving me up a wall. atleast i’ve been binge free for a while now and i’ve been ignoring my random cravings more and more…

⋆˙⟡

[nvuy]

Hi!

Sooo, I may be going wild over finding evidence to backup two of theories about Boothill. And I found SOMETHING.

So, this will be quick summary.

Theory 1: Making bullets in his body.

Exhibit A - At the start of his trailer Boot drops bullet casings(gold coloured; cylindrical in shape)

Later, he picks up a golden cylinder when fucking up first table (if you look closer, you can make out a indentation at the bottom, just like the bullet casings have)

Exhibit B - He puts the cylinder in his mouth, but then it disappears.

If you look at his front roll(after second table) in slow motion, you can see Boot doing a chewing and swallowing motion AFTER the cylinder disappears from his mouth.

Exhibit C - He spits out a full bullet with a explosive head.

The way light travels over the bullet in his mouth makes me believe it was built in his body, and then cooling or smt or getting a print.

Theory 2 : Boothill has no shoes, his boots are his feet

I REPEAT BOOTHILL HAS HIS DOGS OUT

Exhibit A - At the very start of his trailer we see his boots up close. They have suspiciously same colours as his upper body, but also, you can see something looking like a embroidery in black OR a vent for cooling.

Exhibit B - Looking at the back of his legs, the spurs are basically embedded in his boots, not strapped on by leather straps and a buckle (how all spurs on boots work)

But not only that, if you look closely, you can see a black line/space between his foot and shin. It looks like a open joint, reminiscent of Ball Jointed Dolls.

....I feel like a mad scientist and a stalker.

You can ignore this if I was too much lol

Have a good day!

hello my favourite little microwave

let’s have a look at his model rundown shall we

THEORY ONE: love it.

i have this thing where i also think, because his teeth are fake, he can get the right angle and easily catch a flying bullet headed right for him between his teeth. no shattering, no dents, nothing.

i like the idea that he can make his own bullets and it’s probably the most suitable approach to how he can spit them out. (however, there’s something very very funny about him pre-mission swallowing like sixty rounds.) (bonus if he’s doing it in public. like imagine you’re at a bar and you see in the corner of your eye a) cowboy that’s wearing little to no clothing and the tightest jeans you’ve ever seen and b) he’s crunching on metal and you can hear it.)

it’s even worse when he catches you staring from across the bar, notices your bewildered expression, and flashes you his teeth with a half eaten bullet caught between.

THEORY TWO: his shoes being his feet has been proven true, im pretty sure!

you can see on the character model sheet that the spurs are a part of his feet, as well as the heel of his ‘shoe.’ in his splash art he actually seems to have shoes on, but i genuinely think that’s just a misdirection of art.

also no spurs just start spinning at light speed and produce sparks unless they’re mechanical.

at the same time, his character model has two eyes, but boothill only actually has one eye. there’s some inconsistencies, but yeah, his ‘shoes’ are his feet.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ohhhh my god mac. mac. part 2 of the cullen games. that was SO GOOD. i knew it wouldn't be that easy to kill edward bro i KNEW it couldn't be the real edward in the arena but god it was so satisfying just for a second to think that maybe he was dead. man. this campaign is everything. one minute arthur was agonizing over his own humanity and about to kill a woman and the next he was throwing it back on a tree branch. supermassive black hole playing in the background while arthur played vampire baseball. the boogie bombs. what the fuck was that <3

and OH MY GOD THEO WITH THE INSANE ROLLS????? BRO JUST DIDN'T DIE??????? WHAT THE FUCK????? CHARLIE'S DICE WERE BLESSED BY GOD OR SOMETHING THEO JUST DID NOT DIE. THAT'S MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! also I Understand his true faith thing. i get it now. i'm losing my mind over it. fellas is it gay to have such devotion and complete and utter faith in your best friend of all time to the point where you are literally immune to vampiric mind control?????? fellas???? is this gay???? is it??? who knows. thats INSANE though dude i so thought emizel and theo would have to try killing each other but theo just went "nope <3" and it was so fucking epic oh my god. theo is the GOAT!!!! FR!!!!!!

and arthur oughghgh arthur slowly losing more and more humanity by consuming these other vampires. what if i exploded. HIS WINGS BRO. HIS WINGS WERE SO SICK. THAT WAS THE SICKEST THING EVER. OH MY GOD. AND THE SNIPER RIFLE WAS ALSO PRETTY SICK NGL. god im obsessed with arthur he's literally such a mary sue character and i love that for grizzly actually. arthur just kept getting more and more cool and angsty throughout the campaign. i love me a man with cool wings who is also riddled with guilt and struggles to keep hold of his humanity <3

SHILO........ THE FUCKING. GUY OF ALL TIME ACTUALLY. ugh. dude. lemme tell u i went insane when charlie told bizly to remove shilo's innocence specialty after turning "edward" ugly. fucked up oh my goddd i love shilo fucked up moments <3 i love when shilo is fucked up and also loses all his innocence <3 also FUCK YOU BIZLY FOR DESCRIBING BEN'S LAST MEMORY. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK. BIZLY WHEN I GET YOU. oh i am so so scared of what he will do as the dm for prime defenders. mac im scared. if he can make me almost cry with one (1) fucked up little guy i am TERRIFIED of what he can do guiding a whole story

EMIZEL MY BABYGIRL <3 he is my everything. my right hand arm. man. my confidant. my silly rabbit <3 THE LIL NOTE HE LEFT IN HIS OWN ASHESSSSSSSS BROOOOOOOO losing my mind im going to be thinking about that forever and ever. my favourite part was him sucking gabriel to death <3 i love those two and their homoerotic fights. i know gabriel is dead but how fucking funny would it be if he somehow came back next season just to fuck with emizel. i would love that so much. also theo is totally still alive trust me he is going to find emizel and they are going to kiss next season. trust me charlie slimecicle told me himself 👍

man. that was SO FUCKING GOOD. god. im excited im so so excited for if/when another suckening season comes out. i love these guys!!!!!! i want them back ASAP i miss them already!!!! i do like emizel and arthur but tbh shilo reallyyyyy really grew on me. innocent lil guy who gets his entire worldview turned upside down and then does extremely fucked up things and loses some of his humanity along the way but still has so so much love in him and will continue loving and caring despite how shitty the world is. what if i exploded and died right now i fucking love shilo bathroy so much i am putting him in a microwave in my mind and spinning him around i am throwing him against a wall so he makes a loud thud like a sopping wet beanie baby full of milk i am grabbing him in my teeth and flailing him around like a chew toy <3

OK. WONDERFUL. prime defenders next 👍 im so ready i am sure there will be no heartbreaking storylines and no angst and people will not die and it will be a good happy fun time for everyone!!!!!!

DUUUUUDE THE FUCKING. THEOS ROLLS WERE SO INCREDIBLE . BECAUSE THERE IS A RUNNING JOKE ACROSS EVERY SINGLE JRWI CAMPAIGN. THAT CHARLIE SLIMECICLE IS FUCKING CURSED . HIS ROLLS ARE ALWAYS SO FUCKING BAD AND KNOWING THIS GOING INTO THE THEO FIGHT I WAS SO FUCKING STRESSED DUDE. I WAS SO STRESSED. I WAS LIKE FUCK MAN CHSRLIE IS ROLLING FOR HIM HES GONNA DIE HERE. AND THAT SCENE WENT ON FOR SO FUCKING LONG . GOOD GOD. I love you theo soda i love you so dearly. ugahbhhhh. also yeah fellas it's totally fucking gay. they did a qna after the last ep and talk about the true faith thing and how it works mechanically and jonesy and i left matching comments on it that looked like this:

dude yeah arthurs whole.diablerie arc was so fucked up. he lost so much of his humanity at the midnight circle. god. broke ass ugly vampire still manages to be the coolest fucking guy ever. the curse of being a grizzly pc.

DUDE THE FUCKING. "I NEED YOU TO REMOVE YOUR INNOCENCE SPECIALYY" THAT GOT ME SO BAD. SHILOOOOO I LOVE YOU SHILO D:

also there is totally 100% a way gabriel can come back next season because IN THE FUCKING. DEFINITION FOR DIABLERIE IN THE HANDBOOK it says . when you do that theres a chance for the soul of the vampire you killed to stick around and haunt your ass. I need this to happen

I also love shilo so much i think if I had 2 pick a favorite it would be him. i just. he makes me so sad. he's my fucked up little prince I love him so much :( he's never gonna get to go home again dude. hhughghghhghh :((((

[caleiiiii]

mcytbers as subway workers because i work at subway and i said so

i wrote this all at like 1 am im sorry

subway terminology (at least where i work)

waste out -means an item cant, or isnt, being sold, like overbaked cookies or expired milk. gets written down on a list for tax returns or smth

freezer pulls -pulling items from the freezer to the walk in fridge so they can thaw for the upcoming days

POS system -the software used for ringing up food, has a bunch of options per type of sandwich

generally 2 shift rotations , each one has a shift lead which is ur main opener or closer

characters

dream 

makes sandwiches so fast. 

how ??? 

he wraps the sandwiches immaculately as well

definitely a main closer

george 

just. disappears during a rush 

only to be found two hours later STILL doing dishes

dream and sapnap are not pleased.

sapnap 

convinces dream to waste out bread for him so he can eat it

gives ppl he likes free cookies 

terrible at wrapping sandwiches

tommy 

always works with wilbur and tubbo. always. 

he HATES freezer pulls but if he has to he can be seen SPRINTING between the freezer and the fridge

also bad at wrapping sandwiches

does all the online orders for tubbo because he cant read them well

tubbo 

loves to bake the bread and cookies

got a complaint once because he read an online order wrong so tommy always does them

hates ringing people up but loves to make the sandwhiches

technoblade

only works like 1 shift a week but its the most goddamn productive shift of anyone.

always makes sure they are selling potato soup when hes working

another main closer

wilbur

always controls the radio in the store

always works with tubbo and tommy, drives them to work

bribes others so he doesnt have to do the dishes

main opener

philza

the manager

super chill about scheduling

turns a blind eye to people “accidently” dropping cookies and wasting them out

niki

a goddess at baking the bread and cookies

never burns anything ever

everybody wants to work with her shes so nice

fundy

is really good at ringing those ppl up with 28372 coupons

horrible at making sandwiches tho

the only one that knows how to fix the soda machine when it breaks

quackity

always gets asked to translate the writing on the boxes since its in spanish 95% of the time

loves stocking the milk cooler so he can take home the expired sodas n shit

always forgets to remind customers when stuff costs extra

schlatt

that one transfer from another store that does everything

slightly wrong.

its been long enough now that he should know better but nobody wants to correct him.

eret

has tons of pins on his hat, 10/10

really good at making the wraps

always says hello when customers enter

karl

the new hire

immediately taken under sapnaps wing, much to the chagrin of dream

much more bread is now wasted out.

bbh and skeppy

regulars that are just. always there

they know all the employee gossip and get discounts on food

phil is .5 seconds away from asking them if they want a job

normal shift schedules

wilbur, tommy, tubbo (day shift)

dream, george, sapnap (night shift)

eret, niki, fundy (day shift)

technoblade, quackity, schlatt (night shift)

karl mainly works with the dteam, but jumps around

random things

the cookie incident

once tubbo accidently overbaked like 2 dozen cookies

so he and tommy ate all of them during their shift

they did not come into work the next day.

dream and techno rivalry

dream and technoblade have a rivaly about who can close and leave the store the quickest

eventually they decide to time themselves and race eachother on their respective shifts

techno wins with a time of 3 minutes before theyre officially allowed to close.

they both get yelled at by phil

technoblade’s only mistake

the only mistake technoblade has made ever was accidently leaving the bread cabinet open overnight

wilbur, tubbo, and tommy find it in the morning and have to throw all the bread out

tommy and tubbo split the bread and each leave with a garbage bag full of subway bread

wilbur still wont let techno live it down.

hacker things

once fundy hacked the POS system to give him a 100% discount

used it for about a month before someone (quackity) accidently pressed the option and snitched to phil

luckily, he just sighed and reset the system

cookie dough

wilbur comes up with the idea to pop raw cookie dough in the microwave and eat it half baked

phil comes in one day only to make -direct eye contact- with tommy as he and tubbo lick cookie dough off of some deli paper

allows it to happen as long as they pay for the dough

subway garlic bread

on a really slow day niki and eret are goofing off and create

~subway garlic bread~

it instantly becomes a secret menu favourite among employees and regulars

the bet

once skeppy bet quackity and schlatt that they wouldnt start a fake argument during rush hour

skeppy recorded the whole thing

technoblade can be seen in the backround silently making sandwiches as quackity and schlatt scream at eachother about if quackity has a “flatty patty”

phil tries to be mad but sees all the tips they made and lets is slide

sacrifices

george is the one always sacrificed to deal with the crabby middle aged moms

its his punishment for not helping during the rush.

torture

sometimes for fun wilbur takes his meal break right before the dinner rush

tommy stares at him in fury the whole time.

betting pool

none of the employees can tell if bbh and skeppy are dating

its to the point that they keep a betting chart on a white board next to the “top failure of the week” spot

subway ghost

after a few freak instances wilbur is positive that the subway is haunted and convinces phil to let him do a séance after hours

he manages to convince half the staff that the store is haunted

(the ghost is drista or smth idk aksjdhajk)

top failure of the week

a tally on the white board in the back room of who dropped/wasted out thw most items

sapnap has the record top failure of the week, dropping a total of 42 loaves of bread in a week

schlatt got put on the board once. never again.

enamel pins

tubbo finds a enamel pin of a bee that he puts on his visor

its not technically allowed but phil lets him do it anyway :)

bandanas

tommy and tubbo take subway bandanas from the back room and initial them before trading with eachother

nobody comments that theyre not technically allowed to have a hat and a bandana

the war

at some point a rivalry breaks out between the day staff

wilbur, tommy, tubbo, niki, eret, and fundy

and the night staff

dream, sapnap, george (techno, karl, schlatt, and quackity stay out of it)

what starts out tame eventually leads to workers purposely messing up stuff for the next shift to deal with, like not stocking the fridge or mopping the floor 

at some point eret switches to the night shift

the day shift does not take it well.

 after about 2 weeks phil is forced to step in as the store quality starts to go downhill

he closes the store for a day and makes everyone clean it u

 techno watches from outside the windows with a bag of popcorn

pogway

tommy starts placing the stickers they use to wrap sandwiches everywhere with the words “pogway” on them

everyone can tell its his handwriting but no one can catch him placing the stickers

phil even checked the cameras, still no trace of him

subway gun

sometimes tommy goes around spraying others with a spray bottle full of water used on the bread

he calls it the “subway gun”

wilbur gets fed up hides it in the freezer overnight

thats all for now! if i come up with anything else i might add it lol

EDIT PART 2 IS NOW OUT

[mothmanismyuncle]

I posted 20,403 times in 2022

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Blogs I reblogged the most:

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I tagged 1,424 of my posts in 2022

#geraskier - 56 posts

#the witcher - 48 posts

#jaskier - 44 posts

#geralt - 33 posts

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Longest Tag: 137 characters

#like everybody gotta quit gatekeeping. i. a gay man. would rather have 10000 ‘straight women’ ‘’fetishise’’ me than 1 person feel unloved

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i hope im never behind the wheel if i see this shit in the wild bc i blacked out ugly laughing

24 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#4

modern au. geraskier, established relationship. just a little comfort for the bard boy after a miserable day at work.

xoxoxo!!!

❦

geralt looked up from his book when he heard the door click shut and his husband peel off a soaked jacket. shoes were kicked; a bag was dropped; still, jaskier said nothing.

usually, geralt starts hearing his husband’s car radio from the moment it enters their neighbourhood. the quiet is alarming, to say the least, so geralt turns his book over and lays it on the couch, putting his reading glasses on his head.

“jaskier?” he calls trotting into the laundry room, where jaskier is shucking off his sodden work uniform.

“hello, love,” he replies huskily. “it’s raining.”

“it is,” geralt agrees. he turns the dryer back on, peering at the load of towels bouncing around. “why don’t you take a nice shower? warm you up,”

“‘kay,” jaskier acquiesced, slinking into the bathroom. geralt frowned after him.

typically, getting jaskier to shower right after work takes some cajoling, several bribes on both sides, all that.

today, the water turns on without any music to cover the sound, and geralt hears jaskier snuffle to himself before a small, broken sound escapes.

he won’t walk in on his husband crying. he won’t embarrass him when he waited until the shower was on and put on a face for geralt in the laundry room.

that’s what geralt chanted to himself, anyway, while he heaped blankets up on the bed and jogged back into the kitchen.

he took a small container out of the cabinet and double checked the instructions. only a bit of water and a minute in the microwave, and jaskier would have a sweet treat waiting for him in the nest geralt was building.

he gathered some water bottles, a sandwich, and jaskier’s favourite of geralt’s tee shirts that geralt thankfully had to save from the hamper. jaskier didn’t have geralt’s nose, but he could still scent his husband and it tended to calm him down plenty.

til his dying breath, geralt would deny that he rolled around on the nest blankets to make it warm and smell like him, but it was the quickest way and without music or the promise of geralt joining him, jaskier could be done in moments.

when geralt was satisfied that the clean blankets smelled a little more like home, he went to get a warm towel out of the dryer and swaddle his husband up for a trip to the nest.

he found jaskier sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees.

he couldnt say anything that didnt feel too trite, too simple, too shallow, for what that image made his heart do in his chest. he simply got undressed and sat down next to him.

“bad day,” jaskier breathed. geralt, with soft hands and a softer heart, took the spray from the wall and began to wash jaskier’s hair.

jaskier began to cry again, but this time quietly. jaskier hated it when he cried, hated how much he cried, so geralt merely began humming for him while he threaded his fingers through auburn locks to remove the soap.

“i’m an artist, aren’t i?” jaskier finally asked.

“of course,” geralt said, cupping jaskier’s cheek to get him to look him in the eye. “of course you are. one of the best i’ve ever known.”

“i… geralt, i’m working at a fast food joint. i’m getting sandwiches thrown at me by customers, i’m getting barked at by my boss. i haven’t composed in almost a week.”

“you don’t have to always be writing to be an artist,” geralt said, sitting back on his haunches. “am i a witcher?”

“of course,”

“right now? when i’m sitting in the shower with you?”

“… quit it,” jaskier replied, cottoning on to geralt’s meaning and pushing his little head into geralt’s chest.

“i’m a witcher when i wake, and when i go to sleep, and every second in between.”

“that’s different,” jaskier mumbled as best he could with the hot water pouring down the back of his neck. geralt only held him, rocking him back and forth ever so slightly.

See the full post

26 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

#3

no need to measure for curtains, he said

they’ll surely be fine, he said

no way in hell they’ll turn out to be some kinda cock-height peep show for the entire main street of your hometown, he also said, strangely specific and also even stranger, wrong

29 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#2

For the hurt comfort list? "you are what's important right now" with whoever you like. Thanks!

jaskier could’ve blinked and missed it. he almost wished he had; on one hand, he was on his feet before geralt even hit the ground.

on the other, the image of the kikimore’s leg bursting through his boyfriend wouldn’t stop replaying every time he closed his eyes.

his badass boyfriend that lopped its head off right after, mind, but still.

“don’t move!” jaskier chided again, handing geralt his water. “i’m right here, love. i’m ready and willing.”

“i just wanted a drink,” geralt pouted. well, okay. less of a physical, facial, or vocal pout and more of a slight tightness around the eyes, but this was jaskier. he knew geralt better than geralt knew geralt.

“and i just want you to get back to feeling better.” he countered.

“you can’t sit here and hand me my water all night, jaskier. you have an audience downstairs and you’ll get bored.”

“none of those people matter to me. you are what’s important to me right now.” jaskier replied, folding himself into his witcher’s side gently. “besides, i can think of a few ways to entertain ourselves.”

“i thought you didnt want me to move.”

“for this, you won’t have to.” jaskier said, waggling his eyebrows. “tell me a story?”

geralt burst into surprised laughter before he winced, clutching his chest.

“okay, okay. what do you want to hear?”

jaskier wrapped his arms around geralt, snuggling in close. he could hear the thud of geralt’s heart and feel him breathing, and honestly? that was enough for a simple bard like himself.

“anything, love.” geralt held him with his good arm, resting his cheek on top of jaskier’s head. “anything you’d like.”

71 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

jaskier whumpers be like

609 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[inkskxtch]

What’s your take on Drake? :o

Oh boy this ones a doozy

He's been one of my favourite characters in the series since the first time i read it when i was younger and still is but my opinion on him has changed a ton, back when i was first in the fandom i had the BIGGEST crush on this guy but now im older while i still think he's a super cool character i can actually understand that this guy sucks so bad. hes still kinda hilarious but idk how younger me brushed over this dude proudly admitting he hates women and everything else hes said and done to characters like little pete, edilio etc - and now with a bunch of stuff from the monster/villain/hero series too

Going back to the misogyny thing, i do think if he wasnt so against women 4 literally no reason him and diana wouldve been a crazy team they couldve done so much shit together. And in terms of ships and things since ive seen a ton of ship discussion floating around, hes one of those characters i genuinely cannot see with anybody ever and any ship involving drake just feels so weird and wrong lol

Some more petty thoughts on drake's character, this is somethin ive been thinking about but making drake a saw fan was kinda lame cause while the saw films are my fav horror series, theyre not really 'psychologically' disturbing and rather just plain gore (which ik is drakes thing but.) it feels like michael grant kinda just picked the first movie he could think of that had a lot of blood or people dying and went "yeah good enough" instead of looking for actually disturbing films, i could name a ton that have been banned in my country😭 same with the mention of him microwaving a puppy, it just feels like such a generic 'sadistic' thing like doesnt literally every murderer put something in the microwave

[weaslxtte]

I posted 870 times in 2021

158 posts created (18%)

712 posts reblogged (82%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.5 posts.

I added 442 tags in 2021

#harry potter - 168 posts

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Longest Tag: 69 characters

#ronmione came to visit mid game once and gave away harrys hiding spot

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Andromeda and Sirius rocking up to family gatherings in rock band t-shirts and bomber jackets and sirius has a cd player on his shoulder and is making up a rap to some muggle song and andy is breakdancing and theres that wierd gas stuff on the floor and a disco ball they r wearing baseball caps sideways and they suddenly have microphones and im getting way too into this

103 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 13:47:29 GMT

#4

RON HEADCANNONS FOR RONS BIRTHDAY:

He built a library for hermione as a birthday present

He worked as an auror for a few years with harry then decided to help george with the shop

Hermione once gave him a tablespoon that has engraved on it 'rons emotional range'

Hes the laid back uncle

He taught rose and hugo to play quidditch from a very young age

He made a 10 minute long handshake with harry you cant prove they didnt

He loved telling his kids and nieces and nephews about all the mad thing he got up to at hogwarts and did it rather dramatioly

Hes the most loyal, loveable, chicken loving guy you will ever meet

104 notes • Posted 2021-03-01 12:42:19 GMT

#3

WHATEVER YOU DO DONT IMAGINE LITTLE TEDDY FLYING ON A TINY BROOM HARRY GOT HIM FOR CHRISTMAS AND REMUS AND TONKS ARE WATCHING AND LAUGHING AND PRAYING HE WONT FALL AND ANDROMEDA IS SIPPING HER TEA TO HIDE A LAUGH AS GINNY TRIPS OVER THE CHRISTMAS TREE AND HARRY ATTEMPTS TO CATCH HER BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY WORK OUT AND REMUS JUST MANAGES TO SAVE THE CHRISTMAS TREE FROM FALLING AND SIRIUS IS SINGING WHO KNOWS WHAT WHILE WEARING A SANTA HAT AND REINDEER EARS AND FAIRY LIGHTS BECAUSE WHY NOT WITH JAMES WHO IS ATTEMPTING TO GET LILY TO DANCE WITH HIM...JUST DONT

128 notes • Posted 2021-08-12 21:53:12 GMT

#2

The potter household on September 1st:

Harry: OK WE GOTTA LEAVE IN 5 MINUTES

Albus: MUM WHERE DID YOU PUT MY WAND?

LILY: DAAAAD JAMES STOLE MY CHARMS TEXTBOOK

HARRY: JAMES-

James: LILY WHY DID U THROW MY SOCKS OUT THE WINDOW?!

Albus: CAN ANYONE SEE MY WAND

Lily: WHY IS MY BOOK IN THE MICROWAVE

Ginny: ITS BY THE DOOR AL

Teddy: *walks in* hello potters

Everyone: *pauses* hey ted *returns to chaos*

129 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 18:47:46 GMT

#1

Things that definitely happened at harry and ginnys wedding:

Luna made a small flower crown for ginny to wear.

McGonogall cried for the entire ceremony next to an equally emotional hagrid

Harry pretty much exploded into tears and awe when he saw ginny. Ron was laughing behind him.

Ginny gave harry a wink sneaky sneaky half way down the aisle.

Rons speech was a performance with all his brothers about the embarrassing moments of ginnys life. He wouldve done the same for harry but that would also mean embarrassing himself so...

Harrys speech proved that he is indeed a huge simp.

I think it would be funny if ginny and hermione overheard the 'nice skin' convosation. So of course they have to recreate it.

Teddy running around with cake all over his face.

Dennis took all the pictures

Ginnys personal favourite is one where her and harry were looking at her brothers like they were a bunch of wierdos as they each dramaticly posed in some way yes even percy

Harrys personal favourite is one of him and ginny kneeling in front of a table with pictures of his parents, sirius, remus, and fred on it.

Lee was the DJ

Harry convinced McGonogall to dance with him

It took way longer than necessary for harry and ginny to cut a slice of cake.

The night ended with half the guests already gone and george and ginny having a drunk dance of ginny won obviously

339 notes • Posted 2021-10-22 09:23:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[itsfrenchfornothankyou]

When Darkness Turns to Light - chapter 6

Description: Patton just wants to have one (1) nice dinner, is that too much to ask?

Relationships: platonic moceit mostly, platonic DLAMP, but like, half of them are still arguing ya know. 

Characters: Patton, Janus, Roman, Virgil, Logan. 

Warnings: negative self talk, arguing, lots of angst

let me know if anything needs tagging- or a better way of warning for stuff im still learning!

all characters in this fic are sympathetic, but they are not always paragons of good people! they are complicated and have complicated histories that are reflected in the way they treat each other

first chapter

previous chapter // next chapter

A band aid on a broken heart

 It’s been over a month since the wedding, and gradually things are returning to normal. Or… something like normal anyway.

They’ve fallen into new routines at meal times, and Patton finds comfort in them, even if it isn’t quite the same as it was before. He supposes though, that the same as before maybe shouldn’t be what he’s aiming for.

Virgil and Roman never come to breakfast anymore, and so it’s become a time for Patton, Logan and Janus to plan schedules. Not that Patton has much to contribute, but he enjoys the excuse to hang out with the two of them. he loves they way they light up while they debate, a fire igniting in their eyes that Patton has never really taken to time to appreciate before.

At lunch time Patton puts out a spread of sandwiches, and the other sides filter in and out of the kitchens, rarely stopping to talk. It’s the most familiar part of the day if he’s being honest. One time Logan walked in with his nose stuck in a book, didn’t look up, and Patton pushed a sandwich into his hand as Logan had grasped around the plate looking for one. He walked out again without saying anything, only a nod to even acknowledge that he had even noticed the other side’s presence. Patton’s heart had swelled. It was the most normal scene he had been in in a long time. after all of the awkward stumbling around each other and the stunted polite conversation, it was nice to just be comfortable existing in each other’s space.

Dinnertime has been… hit and miss. Two weeks ago he had gotten the courage to go around and knock on everyone’s doors and tell them he was making dinner and, well it could have gone worse. Roman came down, although he hadn’t spoken to them. Logan had sat with a Hanji book for the entire dinner, and Virgil had almost immediately fled the scene, barely even touching his food. As for the other two, well… Janus had assured Patton that Remus would not eat regular food, and he shouldn’t invite him, but he had still felt bad for not calling him to dinner. As for Janus himself, well he had said it was a “bad idea”. Patton hadn’t liked that answer, but Janus assured him he should be focusing on smaller goals first, rather than trying to repair Janus’ relationships with the other sides.

Since then, Patton had had varying levels of success. Some nights only Logan would show up, very rarely he would manage to get all of them into the kitchen, though it never lasted long.

One time Remus showed up and well… they had silently, and mutually, agreed not to talk about that night. The first time he had managed to coax Janus downstairs with promises of pasta and wine it had devolved into a hissing match between him and Virgil. So, better than Patton had expected.

Patton stirs the pot of pasta, wondering absentmindedly how many people will be coming for dinner. He always makes enough for seven, although he knows they’ll never have a full table. he opens the lid of the second pot, and gives the sauce a quick stir before turning it down to a simmer. Behind him someone makes a noise of deep contentment. Patton smiles. “Wow Jan, I would have never guessed you had such n-oodles of love for pasta. Tell me, is it the ravi-only way to your heart?” he sneaks a glance back at Janus to see he reaction, but the other side catches his eye with a smirk. Patton looks back at the pot too quickly to see the soft smile that crosses Janus’ face as he shrugs.

“I lived exclusively on microwave meals and chicken nuggets for the past thirty years. Can you blame me?” Janus sidles up to Patton, batting his eyes innocently as he sneaks some food out of the pot. Patton fixes him with an aghast look.

“Have you ever tried cooking with Remus?” Patton shudders at the thought. “As I said,” Janus continues. “the less chance for things to go wrong, the better.” Patton isn’t sure if he should smile or grimace at Janus, but before he can decide the door to the kitchen opens.

“Roman!” Patton cries excitedly. It’s been a couple of days since Roman last made it down to dinner. Patton wants to check in on him, see how he’s doing, talk about what he’s working on, but Roman hasn’t exactly been wanting to talk lately. “Food’s almost ready,” He says instead. “I’m making your favourite, tagliatelle!” He fixes Roman with his brightest and best dad smile, but Roman’s returning one is tight and artificial. Patton tries not to let it get to him, keeping up the happy attitude. He can feel Janus frowning at him.

Moments later, Logan comes into the room; latest read tucked under one arm. He tidies the table, but doesn’t set it. Seeing all of the empty setting had started getting to Patton, so now people just get their plates as they turn up.

Patton stars piling bowls, Roman first, then Logan, then Janus. As he’s about to fill his own he hears quiet movement, and a hush falls over the room. He forces himself not to freeze in place, instead smiling brightly at Virgil, careful not to be too loud.

“Virgil!” He beckons the side over. “Good to see you, pasta?”

Virgil hesitates, taking in the room. Janus smirks a him, and Patton spots the beginnings of what will rapidly become another petty and pointless argument. He shoots a look at the other side. Janus rolls his eyes, but takes his seat without another word.

Shoving his hands into his hoody pockets, Virgil quietly makes his way to Patton. “Sure. Sounds great.” Patton tried to keep his excitement on the inside; it’s the most that Virgil has said aloud in days.

Taking his bowl with a nod of thanks, Virgil takes a seat at the table as far away from Janus as possible, finding Logan levels of literalism in the phrase “on the edge of his seat”. Patton attempts to start a casual conversation around the table, asking Logan about the book he’s reading. As Logan lights up and begins mapping out the plot of the book, the mood lightens up a little. At one point Patton could swear he even sees Virgil smile. This all comes crashing down about halfway through dinner, when Logan asks Roman what he’s working on.

Patton sees Roman’s smile falter and slip off of his face, and it feels like a punch to the gut. Virgil tenses up across the table, but Roman just tries to dismiss the question with a wave of a hand.

“Oh you know, this and that,” he murmurs. “You’ll see it when it’s finished.” Logan frowns, but doesn’t push the matter further. Janus seems to have other ideas.

“If you’re having creative block, ignoring it is definitely going to help.” Patton winces, but Janus is making steady eye contact with Roman now, and it’s evident that he sees this as a battle worth fighting.

“What, me? Creative block?” Roman is louder now, pulling in some swagger that Patton has barely seen in weeks. “Foul fiend I- I am the embodiment of Creativity!” He sputters as he speaks. “Or course no such thing could happen to me!”

“Do you forget who I am?” Janus asks quietly. His voice barely a whisper in the wind, as though it were simply an exasperated afterthought. Before Roman can reply, he continues pushing. “Great, you definitely haven’t already had the talk about what a good idea it is to wait for an idea to be perfect before presenting it.”

“Hah! What would you know about creativity, Lie Mis?” Roman stands, waving his arms and shouting, before turning away from Janus, His voice cracks as he speaks, and Patton’s heart flutters nervously, unsure how to defuse the situation.

“Hey Kiddos,” he says. “How about we all just take a breather and stop for a moment-”

“No!” Roman shouts. “I can see that you clearly don’t need me here.” His voice hitches, and Patton feels frantic. “Since apparently he knows everything I’ll just, just-”

“Roman! That’s not true!” Patton stands at the table, and moves to reach for Roman, but the other side flinches away.

“Because everyone here is such an expert in what’s true,” he mutters.

“Roman,” Patton realises with some surprise that it’s Janus speaking, his voice softened as he lets out a gentle sigh. “I’m not-” they don’t get to hear the rest of the sentence, as Roman cuts him off with a harsh laugh.

“I don’t need any more of your lies, Deceit.” Then he sinks out. A silence echoes around the room, palpable enough to be deafening. Patton looks over at Janus, but whatever vulnerability he hard in his voice moments ago is gone, replaced with a cold hard nothing. His expression an unreadable marble.

“Well, I think that went well,” he says airily, continuing to eat. Across the room Virgil hisses at him, teeth bared. Janus simply raises an eyebrow at him. Patton isn’t sure if it’s a question or a challenge.

“Can you for once in your fucking miserable existence just fucking-” Virgil waves a hand in the air, unsure how to finish his sentence, or perhaps hoping to pull the words from the air. “Not be you!” he stands in place, shaking with anger.

“Oh?” Deceit says, smiling lazily. “And who would you like me to be?” He holds up a hand as though to snap his fingers.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” Virgil grinds out, his teeth gritted. Absently, Patton wonders if Virgil has fangs. He’s never notices them before. “You can’t just… lie, all the time, and expect people to trust you!”

Janus huffs out a breath, almost a laugh, almost… something else. “Because the truth has always gone so well for me in the past.” It’s quiet, quiet enough that Patton can hardly be sure Janus meant to say it at all.

In response Virgil simply bares his teeth again. “Like you’ve ever even tried it,” he hisses. Then he’s gone.

Patton stands, his eyes wide. He fights back tears, instead straightening up, trying to pull himself together.

“I’m, I’m going to go- go check on Virgil,” he says, fighting a wobble in his voice.

“You won’t be able to find him,” Janus replies. “Not if he doesn’t want to be found,”

“Well,” Patton clenches his fist, then relaxes. “I have to try anyway. If he does want me, I’ll be there,” just barely perceptible, he could swear he sees Janus flinch.

---

In the end Janus is right. Virgil is nowhere to be found. At one point he thinks he sees his door at the end of a hallway, but by the time he reaches it it’s gone. He lets out a cry of frustration. Normally he loves the mind palace, with it’s sprawling corridors and nonsensical patterns. If you aren’t paying attention you can walk for hours without running into anyone else.

Normally, this doesn’t work against him. when he’s looking for someone, he finds that his feet naturally take him where he needs to go. But Virgil seems to have mastered the shifting halls, and folded himself away in a corner that Patton isn’t sure how to access.

When he returns to the kitchen, he’s surprised to find Janus and Logan still there, in the middle of cleaning up after dinner.

“Oh, I was just about to get to-” but Janus interrupts him with a wave of his hand.

“It’s no trouble.”

“He thought you might need the break,” Logan adds. Janus glares at him, and Patton suppresses a smile.

“I did not say-”

“You implied, did you not?” Logan asks inquisitively. “I have been studying your dialogue, and you said-”

“There’s no need!” Janus shouts, with panic evident. The laugh that Patton has been squashing down bursts out, and Janus turns away; furiously scrubbing at the dishes in the sink.

“Fascinating,” Logan breathes. “Is only half of your face capable of blushing?” he asks, ducking his own head to get a better look at Janus’ face. “What exactly is your biology like? Are you in fact part snake, or is it appearance only? Thomas did imply…” Logan continues muttering to himself about biology, but Patton doesn’t understand any of it. He’s just happy to see that the other two sides are getting along.

Janus moves away hurriedly as he places the last dish on the drying rack, pulling off his gloves. Patton frowns.

“Janus,” he begins carefully. “Were you wearing those gloves… over your other gloves?”

“No.” Janus moves into the front room, sitting on the sofa with a thump to sulk. Patton suppresses another giggle.

Logan and Patton share a rare smile, before Logan clears his throat and announces his exit, already absorbed in his book once more before he’s even left the room.

Patton takes a seat next to Janus, and the two of them sit together in silence for a while. Janus has produces a crossword from somewhere in his cape, and is dutifully filling it in while Patton hums a tune to himself as he looks through his box of movies. It’s nice, and the quiet is only broken but Patton’s occasional suggestion of film, always swiftly followed by a sharp rejection.

The two sides have yet to actually watch a film together, though this has become something of a regular occurrence between the two of them. regular enough for Patton to know that Janus never actually solves the puzzles he brings. He does however find rather interesting solutions that definitely are not the intended answer. He always says that he simply has “his own interpretation of the rules”.

Patton finds himself knowing all sorts of little details about the other side, he realises. He knows that his favourite food is breakfast, whenever it isn’t supposed to be eaten. Pancakes at 2am, eggs and toast for lunch… and so on. He knows the other side is remarkably well read, and has a fondness for face masks, though he himself doesn’t use them. Patton’s skin has never felt clearer though. Janus is excellent at nail varnish, but terrible at applying makeup. However-

“27 dresses?” Patton tries.

“Ah yes, the love interest in that film isn’t creepy at all.” Janus rolls his eyes.

-He still hasn’t figured out what kind of TV the other side watches. Patton sighs in defeat, pushing the box away from himself for the evening. So far the chick flick category has turned out to be a total bust, and he’s ready to give up on it. he’s beginning to have strong suspicions that maybe Janus likes the types of movies that Patton doesn’t like at all, but he won’t be deterred.

“Hey, Janus,” he starts softly, but he can already see the other side tensing up. “About earlier-”

“I’m not apologising to Roman,” he replies shortly. Yeah, Patton pretty much saw that one coming.

“I wasn’t going to ask you to.” Janus looks over at him now, eyes narrow. “I just…” despite all of the time Patton has spent looking for the right way to go about the conversation, he still finds himself at a loss for words  “Wondered if… maybe you could talk? If you could get to know each other-”

“He doesn’t want to get to know me,” Janus sighs. “I’m not going to just keep on-” he cuts himself off with a sharp intake of breath. Patton wants to know, but he resolves not to push him.

“Maybe if-”

“If what?” Janus looks up, exasperated. “No matter what I do, Roman has already resolved to hate me. Same with Virgil. There is nothing I could possibly do to change their minds.” There’s a bitter sort of anger in his voice, that Patton hasn’t heard before. Not the biting sharpness of when he explodes at roman, not the playful tone he took in the courtroom. There’s a melancholy to it, but resigned. Patton isn’t really sure who it’s directed at.

“I mean, the arguing can’t help though.” Patton pushes.

“It’s better than the alternative.” Janus voice softens, almost sad. Hurt? Patton reaches out a hand to lay on Janus’ shoulder, but he shakes it off. Patton finds he’s thoroughly lost his footing in the conversation, unsure of what Janus is trying to say anymore, but not yet ready to make the final push to ask.

Janus doesn’t leave, but it’s clear that he’s done with the conversation. He picks up his book, turning a new page and beginning again. There are so  many questions bouncing around in Patton’s head. He doesn’t even know where to begin to unravel the mess he’s in. He wonders what happened between Virgil and Janus, he wants to know their history, as it becomes more and more evident that they have one. How did they get here? Whenever Janus talks about Virgil, it’s almost as though he’s talking about someone entirely different. Patton doesn’t know how to reconcile the two thoughts in his head.

He doesn’t ask though. instead, the two of them stay that way for the rest of the evening; silent in each other’s company. They’re both all too familiar with being alone to willingly submit to it again. not that either one of them would ever say it. maybe some things don’t need to be said, Patton thinks. Maybe that isn’t the point. Some days it can be enough just to exist near each other

---

sorrry, i meant to have this up yesterday, but then i slept in till like 4pm and then did baking sooooo

not really quite happy with this chapter yet? but this is as good as it gets for now, so hope you like it let me know what you thought! 

tags: @booklover223 @god0fspoons @cemmy @selenechris @sweet-hibiscus-tea-art

let me know if you want to be tagged! 

[lanamemories]

hLO itsa me nai-io!!!!! (read shrieked in a high voice like mario if he buckled his dungarees too tight around the crotch)...... im sad i missed opening bt i had a pretty busy past 2 days so i didn’t hav any chance at all to b online bc i ws staying at a friends bt. anyway. excited to b here nw regardless of my Fashionably Late entrance. i’m 22 n live in manchester (the u freakin k Bay Bee) n cackle a little too mch like a witch fr supernatural suspicions nt to arise. thts all u rly need to kno. like this or hmu fr plots!! 

p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing

「 bridget satterlee. cis-female. 」have you seen lana jameson around yet? i hear SHE decided to be in ALPHA NU for their JUNIOR year as a DANCE major. the 21 year old SHEEP is known to be vivacious, alluring, childish and impulsive. ➨ the muse is written by nai. she is 22, in the gmt.

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror, seventies platforms covered in bowie inspired lightening stripes, fanning the flush in your cheeks with a bright red flamenco fan in the back of a crowded lecture hall, michelangelo reminiscent statures clasping at their stone in suggestive places, bopping stranger’s on the forehead with heart shaped lollipops, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, lighting a paper lantern and saying “aw, how pretty,” only for the whole party to shriek as it crashes into a children’s tent in the next garden over, a ball point pen that turns a woman naked when you click up the nib, cackling so ferociously that you almost throw up and your ribs ache.

ok im a Lay Zee gorl n dnt wna waste any mre time redoin lana’s intro so im pastin in her old one so i cn hop right to interactions. the only thing i can think tht needs to b added is the stuff abt danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine bc im a sadist) who recently beat up zeke van doren (full name this is Official feel like im writin a journalist article) bc he found out him n lana slept tgether n her n danny were kind of dating if....u can call his idea of romance tht. danny is in custody nw bt its a whole Thing like.... is prob... known around lockwood bc it ws a pretty intense..... thing tht happened n danny ws quite a popular senior

grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him after initially bein mad tht he ws leavin her all alone. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of.... is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days

[coralflower-ao3]

now i may not be a math major but im pretty sure this means dee and remy are patton's parents and you better believe im about to tell you exactly how i think that goes:

patton's first word is "da-da" which he then turns into "dee-dee" when remy passes him to deceit, showing a remarkable talent both for telling his parents apart and for making puns. (it was probably a coincidence because that's not exactly how child development goes but shhhhhh)

he gets the puns from deceit, who is a trans woman in this scenario and makes the worst mom jokes in the history of the world.

like when patton says he doesn't want spaghetti one night, she rises dramatically from her chair and says, "i knew you were an impasta!"

patton learns how to make spaghetti the hard way. all it takes is three distracted minutes from his parents. he tries the microwave first.

remy, who is, as we all know, the first character you'd picture as a stay at home dad, ambles into the kitchen to see patton struggling with the lid of a jar of spaghetti sauce. he looks between patton and the microwave and heaves a sigh. patton grins up at him, very proud of himself, and informs remy that he is making spagattee (he pronounces it /spəgæɾi/ with the a in apple in the third syllable)

remy shows patton how to choose a pot and how to put water in it while patton bounces up and down with excitement. dee comes in a moment later and remy nods at her like the microwave isnt screeching behind him as he teaches a toddler how to turn on the stove

thats four bullet points about spaghetti so im switching gears. patton loves sweaters. remy teaches him how to knit despite dee's protests ("knitting is awful! why would you hold two needles when you could hold one hook instead? just wait for me to get home and i'll teach him how to crochet.") and by the time dee gets home from her advertising job patton has clumsily stitched four rows of soft pink yarn and he looks so proud of himself dee can't pretend to be mean about knitting. and then he opens his mouth and says "mom! im gonna make you a sweater! ask me why ask me why!" she asks, and patton informs her that it's because she's "sweater than the rest."

patton is good at knitting once he's practiced, better than remy or dee expected from a kid his age.

one winter day (in third grade) he comes home from school in tears. fearing the worst (bullies, explosions, bees) remy pulls him into a hug, wishing dee was home, and asks patton what happened

patton explains that this kid with the same glasses as him sat inside during recess and when patton asked why he said it was because his scarf was scratchy and he didn't want to put it on.

patton couldn't stop thinking about it on the bus ride home. it was just so sad! recess is the funnest part of the whole day. he can't just let someone miss out on it!

patton finds his softest yarn (he has some in dark blue and some in purple) and knits logan a scarf in alternating purple and blue stripes

he smiles so big when he gives it to logan that it's no wonder logan develops a crush (even if he won't admit it at the time)

years later they move into a different house (still in the same school district) and woah! logan lives right next door, how cool is that! they haven't talked in years, but logan still has the scarf, which he is wearing as he and his dads knock on the door. roman lets slip that it's logan's favourite scarf, that they have trouble making him stop wearing it in the spring and summer, and logan blushes and ducks his head so that the whole lower half of his face is hidden by the scarf.

and that's when patton realises that logan is the most beautiful person he's ever seen, like, ever. he's about to open his mouth and ask if logan wants to stay for dinner (scarf down some spagattee) when logan turns and runs back into his house

but it's alright, because it turns out patton's new room has a window directly across from logan's window!

patton hangs up a sign asking if logan wants to come over and study after school the next day, and the following morning, there is a sign in logan's window saying yes.

i have to go to class now but this was super fun to write!!

okay. okay. we’ve all seen parents!logicality raising virgil, and that’s all well good and beautiful. HOWEVER. you know what this fandom DOESN’T have enough of?

parents!prinxiety raising logan.

think about it.

logan takes after his quieter father, but can get just as overdramatic as his other dad when he wants to

roman twirling around the kitchen making breakfast in the mornings, and logan unconsciously perking up whenever he realizes that his dad made his “ultra special absolutely wonderful genius AND incredible yes that’s their proper name virgil deal with it” crofter’s waffles

the family rule of “whoever’s up first makes the coffee, because we’ll all kill someone without it”

virgil helping logan deal with school-related (*cough* perfectionism-related) anxiety and roman cheering him up once he’s sufficiently calmed down

roman and virgil getting suuuuuper competitive on family game nights. it doesn’t matter how much they love each other, once uno is broken out, no holds are barred

logan and roman watch bill nye and mythbusters together. it’s their thing. sorry, i don’t make the rules.

virgil is incredibly nervous the first time logan goes to school. everything goes fine, but he still sweeps his kid up in a quick hug when he picks him up

roman who loves to travel and logan who hates it, prompting roman to dramatically bemoan “how did i RAISE you?” while virgil snickers in the background

logan the sass king @ his parents. his wit gets progressively drier as he ages. virgil is so very proud.

“we’re a family of cynical, horrible bastards. high five!” –virgil, at some point, probably

roman frequently has music blaring through the house, and occasionally virgil will let him sweep him up in a dance

somehow, logan is still worse at modern slang than his parents. it’s a problem

god, do his dads ever tease logan the first time he lets slip he may possibly be infatuated. it’s a nightmare. he refuses to tell them anything pertaining to his non-existant love life after that.

virgil paints stars on logan’s ceiling in glow in the dark paint one day while he’s at school. logan later learns that they’re painted in the alignment they were in on the day he was adopted

(to this day, he refuses to admit he cried upon hearing that)

roman and virgil watching old home videos of young logan and just killing themselves with laughter

logan threatening to burn said videos and then obliterate any remaining trace of them

(and one day, one lovely, infuriating, horrible day, logan is dragged along by his dad to go meet the new neighbours, and, upon greeting a boy with a surprisingly sharp wit hidden behind thick-rimmed glasses and a bubbly smile, logan races back to his bedroom, face flushed, and screams into a pillow)

(and another day, a little later on, patton’s arm is linked with his as he reluctantly grumbles out to his fathers that he’s his boyfriend, and rolls his eyes in embarrassment when his dad replies with “about frickin TIME!”)

(and a third day, much, much later on, virgil holds roman’s hand as they hear bells chime and watch a second son become part of their family)

(and that?)

(it’s perfect)

taglist

@loganberrysanders @spectralheartt @artistgracie @coconut-cluster  @anony-phangirl @keyboard-smashed

[bodyposijess]

Hiiii!

Today I woke up super late, so instead of pressuring myself to hurry into the day I just took it slow. I had a coffee, a slice of toast and a banana for breakfast. I got dressed in some summery clothes and that made me feel good & I've made Australian crunch! Just waiting for it to cool down so I can pour all the chocolate on top 😋.

Goal today is to sort out our family garden, cleaning chairs and the table and were making a little garden planter for my mum at the end of the garden, just to make it a little nicer. Were also rearranging where my sisters toys are going to go so it all looks neat out there.

My mum works in waitrose so she's a key worker, hopefully when she comes back she'll be happy to have a clean garden and some nice pudding 🤣 but its so hot out, i just want to sunbathe forever and ever.

I made a new instagram post today, showing the difference between a posed photo and a resting photo, just to show that although your favourite models/celebs/influencers may show off this perfect body & life (which is okay! Anyone can share the parts they want to share of their lives) its not always that smooth running, when they sit down they are a lot more natural and have insecurities just like us! They might not want to share them, but that doesn't mean they're perfect 24/7! That was kind of a ramble but hopefully my point got across 😅.

I've almost finished the book im currently reading, Normal People by Sally Rooney, i know its become a BBC 3 series but i really wanted to read the book first, as the characters can form in your own imagination and you create or own interpretation of the story! I will watch the series after I've finished the book just to compare and see how they cast the characters and their lives, also how well they capture the 2010s in a 2020 series, i think its so interesting to see the difference in interpretation from your head to people who actually transfer the words from the page into TV.

I havent been out much recently, for the first 6/7 weeks of lockdown in England i mainly stayed inside, when the rules relaxed to unlimited exercise and meeting with 1 person outside my household with a 2 metre distance about 3 weeks ago, ive been seeing my boyfriend once a week on a Wednesday for a walk round the fields as I live in the countryside. Its hard not being able to be near him but in a global pandemic I think just seeing his face is good for me! Just need to remember all the people who can't even see their families right now or have been affected by the virus!

This was quite a long one 🤣 oops. But just remember we are all strong and beautiful, whether you could only get up today and sit around or you got up and did loads of things, you still did something, this isn't a productivity contest and different things help the boredom for different people :) were all going to come out of this stronger & hopefully we will all be a lot more grateful for the things we had around us that we didn't notice properly before!

Stay positive & remember im always here to chat.

Jess x

(Heres the Australian crunch recipe...

INGREDIENTS:

200g of margarine or butter

140g of caster sugar

85g dessicated coconut

75g of cornflakes crushed up

1 heaped tablespoon of cocoa powder

140g of self raising flour

And 250g of chocolate for topping

METHOD:

Melt butter or margarine in the microwave till melted

Mix all the dry ingredients together (not the chocolate topping)

Pour in the butter or margarine into the dry ingredients and mix!

Once mixed, pour into a baking tray, big enough for a Swiss roll, then flaten down to the corners to avoid any burnt edges

Put in the oven for 35 minutes at 180c / fab 160 / gas 4 and when done let completely cool.

Once completely cool, pour over melted chocolate (i would advise to keep it in the baking tray for now) and pop in the fridge to set. Once set, take out 30 minutes before you plan to cut it & eat it, it'll be so much easier to serve at room temperature!

And done!! )