#fantasy but make it fact

[youmaycallmenora]

Wizards think they’re so great. “Oh look at me I break the laws the understood universe using math. I won’t think about the unintended consequences. Surely I won’t nearly cause the world to break apart at the seams by making a spell.”

I finally get some of my students back and I’m rearranging the schedule to teach them about the history of wizardry first.

[youmaycallmenora]

We have that! They aren’t technically “healing potion” but there are definitely Magic potions and poultices that do those things.

Fantasy setting where basic healing potions have regional differences.

Healing potions from the desert stop sunburn.

Healing potions from the arctic prevent frostbite.

Healing potions from Europe taste bad.

Healing potions from the tropics repel mosquitos.

[orionshounds]

he cares so much about them, but he has never known how to show it

and now, it’s too late.

[rosefires20]

My brainrot today is thinking about just how incredible for a character Eowyn is.

Genuinely. The series might not have many female characters but the ones we do get go so fucking hard.

To me, Eowyn is literally the definition of defining being a woman for oneself. She rejects the roles she is given despite acknlowdging the importance and its mostly because she knows part of the reason is that she is a woman.

The reason why she is obsessed with Aragorn isn't because she loves him but because she wants what he has. She wants the freedom and courage and bravery that Aragorn has at every turn. She literally has multiple conversations during the Two Towers about how what she fears most is a cage. All this girl wants is the freedom to be and not be forced into a role. The best thing is that she literally gets that.

The segment of Return of the King about Eowyn and Faramir is literally about her piecing together what she truly wants. She doesn't want Aragorn. She wants freedom and the ability to choose. Faramir does nothing but encourage that in her. Their love story is literally one of the healthiest love stories I've seen in a long time because at the heart of it, their love is a place to return home to for both parties. Both go off to lead and help their people for a considerable amount of time before returning to each other but that does not diminish their bond. Even Faramir, I believe, falls in love with her bravery and dedication to her loved ones. The reason she went to Pelenor Fields and Gondor with the troops of Rohan was because she had things she wanted to fight for. She wanted to fight for herself, her people, and her loved ones. She is the one who protects Theoden after he is killed so that his body gets the treatment it deserves. She encourages Merry and helps him go to the battle because she sees her struggle in Merry. They feel helpless standing around when there are things to be doing.

Let's also not forget the fact that she was around Grima Wormtounge just as much as the King was. She was exposed to the same poison and awful words that eroded the king. It's even implied that her care for him is part of the reason why Theoden was savable when Gandalf showed up. She had the same power and bravery as everyone else even if she didn't see it in herself.

Then at the end of the day, SHE decides where she wants to go and what path she wants to walk. She walked the path of a warrior. The path of a princess/ruler. The path of a caretaker. But in the end she decides which elements truly mean something to her outside of gender definitions. That is what makes her character so incredible to me. In this she literally kills one of the biggest enemies in that battle with such a badass line.

[priceofreedom]

Mercenaries, Cloud. That's what you an' me are gonna be.

[youmaycallmenora]

Actually, contrary to popular belief, the reason a cross can repel vampires is because of faith rather than it being innately holy.

A cross in the hands of an everyday person may have a slight effect simply because the fact that “crucifixes repel vampires” is in the public consciousness.

What much more dangerous is some who has faith to the point that it is, in their mind, fact that vampires are unholy and their god will protect them. A cross in the right hands can be very dangerous indeed.

All that is to say: No. A small crucifix being used on yourself is unlikely to be very effective.

if I was a vampire I’d be doing stupid shit like testing if a small cross or a small crucifix is more effective in repelling me

[gods-favorite-autistic]

If the bad kids played Minecraft

Gorgug: redstone builder my guy loves making rollercoasters and security systems and anything redstone for the others, loves the enchantment table and fights monsters purely for xp, has a little farm of rainbow sheep and flowers, his workshop looks like a flower (Fabian may or may not have made it he just came to the joint world and found it there one day)

Fabian: achievement maniac he must prove that he is the best at the game, loves all the fortresses and like the raids and all of that, fights any monster he sees and brings the spoils back to Adaine for her building, hoards all the gold and diamonds he finds and refuses to share, once killed a piglin on accident and had to give all of his gold to Fig, main person who finds and downloads mods for everyone (he has the nicest computer after all), has a list of which person got one mod after everyone started fighting about who requested a shaders mod that just makes everything look really pretty but also insanely slows everyone’s fps (it was Gorgug he liked how it looked)

Fig: trying to make and collect everything she physically can and if she can’t she will find a way, has about a million mods installed because why not (her personal world is like 4 fps), “rules the nether” (Adaine turned a fortress into a castle for her and she only trades with piglins), has at least one cd playing at any time and tries to start a campaign for one of her songs to become an official cd (it almost works)

Riz: automates everything and anything he can, just does insane experiments for funsies, has a gang of iron golems and a village that he rules with an iron fist (is very offended that fig refuses to trade with his villagers, has waged war on the nether multiple times but Fabian (his “knight”) and Gorgug (Figs “knight”) refuse to fight each other), Kristen is banned because she keeps trying to start a rebellion

Adaine: the builderrr girlie likes her games on peaceful and her structures luxurious, she made a castle for all of her friends in her joint world (even if Fig and Riz usually sleep in their kingdoms), does not know how to fight in the slightest so she just enlists Fabian and Gorgug (Riz makes her pay to enlist Fabian in tnt no Adaine he is not making another nuke what are you talking about), genuinely a good archer but freaks out anytime she sees a monster and becomes instantly useless so she mainly uses it for hunting purposes

Kristen: loves mining, also has a million pets like if she can find a way to make it a pet she will (she once tamed a polar bear nobody knows how), her room in Adaine’s castle is in the basement with little mining carts that Gorgug made her that go throughout basically their whole world, runs as fast as she can away from any Warden chamber (she cannot fight), has an army of snowmen in a cage, technically has a fee for being the blacksmith of the group but forgets every time, has a White House built somewhere in the world after the school election

Bonus!

Ayda: Crafts books so she can write in them, lives in Figs castle in another room than Fig (for the drama, according to Fig)(“the fans will love it!” “My love who are you talking about nobody is watching us” “excuse you my tumble audience is very much enjoying our live-blogged tragic love” “my paramour we are literal blocks”), rotates between living there and living in the tallest tower in Adaine’s castle, is fascinated by Gorgugs inventions

Ragh: Fighter, insists on only using his bare fists, drinks any potion he finds, is the only person willing to go on raids with Fabian and Gorgug, figured out a way to play bloodrush in game, loves elytra’s, lives in a dirt hut that is big enough for him to stand in next to a bed and nothing else, Adaine built him a room (that looks like a gym) in her castle but he prefers dirt hut

Aelwyn: Only on there for the cats, steals Kristen’s cats any chance she gets, surprisingly really good at fighting but refuses to fight unless absolutely necessary, has one mod on for herself and it’s the shapeshifting mod (no clue if that’s a mod or part of a game mode) so she can prank Adaine anytime she wants, loves making tnt even if she doesn’t use it (“the goblin uses it in funny ways” “Aelwyn he is exploding a village” “like I said funny”), fucking hates goats and polar bears for no reason

[youmaycallmenora]

For the love of everything good in the world I beg of you if you see something paranormal do not interact with it. You are not a professional and you messing around with paranormal stuff is going to create a bigger problem. I don’t care how small the rift is or how cute the specter is DO NOT TOUCH.

Instead use your local resources. If you don’t have any near by there are world wide companies that deal with this. At the very least get a second opinion before you make yourself an honorary Ghostbuster.

[youmaycallmenora]

You could take this as elves being superior. You could also take it as someone who’s nearly a century old acting like a 20 year old.

One of these is slightly more accurate.

There is no way ever human could ever be on the same level as an elf. A species that, at least in natural lifespan, lasts forever must be so far beyond the human experience. By the time and elf would be fully considered adult by their culture, even if they reach maturity at the same rate as a human, any human would be close to or inside their grave. Imagine yourself, a lowly human, twelve years regular school, three years bachelor, two years master, maybe even three years until your doctor, twenty years education in total, competing against somebody who was schooled for 60 whole years just to hold the elven equivalent of a high school diploma.

[aq2003]

you know that term "male character being written by a woman" that describes an emotionally complex well-written dude that fans immediately fall in love with because they are crafted w/ so much care and would probably make an ideal partner or whatever? yeah this is exactly the energy of brennan lee mulligan portraying his discontented girlboss npcs in dimension 20

[thistle-caster]

latching onto the way that kristen tells gorgug that she died again and one of the first things gorgug says is “I’m sorry I wasn’t there”

their friendship means sm to me I am eating drywall as we speak /j

[youmaycallmenora]

And this is why there are so many vampire mafias. None where I live but still.

The problem with being like an old old immortal and having "old money" is that nobody ever wants to believe you're as old as you are so if you want wealth you gotta either run some multigenerational gambit to make sure your paperwork is up to date and bank accounts are passed down and blah blag beaurocracy bullshit. Or you've gotta like hoard actual honest to god gold like some fucking scrooge mcduck asshole. And don't even get me started on the exchange rate and the constantly changing currencies. Not that it really matters though because if you start off immortality as a broke bitch you're gonna be a broke bitch for a few millennia at least.

[a-jar-of-beetles]

[windupaymeric]

emet, my man..........

ITS FUCKING RAINING...

[lucyfrostblade]

accidentally stumbling into a major plot point by assassinating your alter-emo: the figueroth faeth guide to emotional terrorism and mystery solving. preorder your copy today!