#falling down on the job there

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I cannot believe I had to find out about Republicans carrying little cups of cum around to own the Libs in meatspace rather than on Tumblr where were you guys

[lotus-pear]

hngghh domestic......

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Let the revenge games begin.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[darkdragon768]

Do you like the color of your dimension?

Which one?

[mrmeepsmadmind]

soundwave having to be co leader of the decepticons with shockwave while megatron is fucking frozen somewhere & he's forced to keep giving out commands to crazy people he doesn't like bcs they aren't just his cassettes

oh he's so upset ...

[epiphainie]

this is one of those fic ideas i wanted to write for every ship i've ever been into so it will probably never happen but i'd like to have a silly story with 40 yo, single, lonely tommy kinard who's been down on his luck all his life - like i'm talking ridiculous levels of mom dying at childbirth, dad being terrible, horrifically unfortunate experience of the military, a series of failed jobs, a series of failed relationships, friendships never sticking for long, risks he takes always going south, somehow getting paper cuts through chainmail gloves, missing the bus while trying to avoid his daily encounter with the neighbor's dog etc. - one day opening the door of his downtrodden studio apartment to this beautiful man who stands there like a fucking angel. who looks at tommy with big apologetic eyes, red cheeks of shame, and twiddling thumbs of guilt and stutters, "so, uhm, i wish you didn't have to learn it this way but hi, i'm the guardian angel who, as it turns out, misplaced your files about four decades ago, and so uhm it just resurfaced, haha, and like yeah, i've been banished here for penance. i'll take the couch, it's fine."

[hawnks]

Satoru Gojo’s cursed abilities began to manifest at the age of two. By five he could read and write with ease, he could do basic arithmetic, and had better special reasoning than most adults. It was a given that his secondary traits would manifest early, and the clan was happy to welcome a dominant alpha to the family. Except—

He wasn’t.

The revelation that their messiah was an omega, frankly, appalled most of the Gojo Clan, but they wouldn’t deny their interest in a few incredibly powerful offspring.

By the time Satoru had truly and fully manifested at the age of fourteen, they had already thrown a few dozen alpha suitors his way — he had his pick of any of them, he could just drop out and raise children like a good omega. Except— he wouldn’t.

Satoru insisted on school, where it quickly became apparent that he would outclass even the strongest alphas. The clan was once again disgusted with him; the way he behaved, his strength and charisma, it simply wasn’t like an omega. He should be demure, and sweet, and happy to let everyone else order him around. Except he wasn’t.

He showed absolutely no signs of omega tendencies, except for infrequent heats, which were so mild he didn’t even need to take time off school. The clan had hopes that maybe that alpha boy he was always hanging around would get Satoru to settle down and mate, but no luck. When asked about this, Satoru said he found alphas “boring,” and would “rather drink bleach than fuck one.” The clan decided it would be best to wait a few years before broaching the topic of marriage again.

It wasn’t until his final year at Jujutsu High that Satoru showed any sign of libido at all. Lounging on the porch, ignoring his English tutor, staring out as the gardener tended to the koi pond. Then— Satoru bolted upright.

The tutor startled. “What? What is it?”

Satoru pointed. “Who is that?”

It took a second for the old man to spot who he was referring to. Someone else had joined the Gardner at the pond, peering down into the golden arc of fish. “The groundskeeper’s child.” A follow up question formed on his lips, “Why—“

Why are you interested when you’ve never shown an inkling of curiosity about anyone else in your entire life? But it died just as quick.

Satoru was staring at the gardener’s child with a look that could only be described as hungry. The shortened breath, dilated eyes, and flushed cheeks were unmistakable, although the unhinged grin he wore was a bit unusual (and unsettling). Nevermind whatever was going on below the belt.

“I want her,” Satoru said. Unshakable, bottomless lust— now that was just like an omega. Finally, he was experiencing a true heat, triggered by the presence of a potential mate.

Except—

“Gojo… that’s a beta.”

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Crazy issues that come up when a character is written a little too well

[souenkun]

Pokémon Masters EX spoilers ahead!

Kabu likes to play TAG with his pokemon... and he's shown to have a much softer side beneath his strictness in pokemas too... he's so grandpa-shaped to me 😭💖

[mrsbridgerton]

SPOILER WARNING

more pictures of luke thompson (benedict bridgerton) and yerin ha (sophie baek) filming (the masquerade ball) on set of bridgerton season 4!!

[jimmyspades]

"Perhaps I should assume control... Just out of curiosity, if you were in control–" "I'd shut up and kiss you." ... "It's funny, I don't feel in control." BOSTON LEGAL 5.11 "Juiced" (Deleted scene)

[shitouttabuck]

what if i wrote a twisters au……….

[swan2swan]

Brooklynn: "Thanks so much for letting me crash here, Darius. Oh, wow, sorry about the smell--I've been driving since Texas, and I am SWEATY and I need a shower SO BADLY, but I know you'll let me use yours. Just gimme a few minutes, okay? Oh, dangit, I totally forgot my towel at Sammy's...it's cool if I use one of yours, right? The rest of my laundry made it, it's all in the bags, mind going through and getting me a fresh set? They're all matched in order, so just take it from the top, shirt, jeans, underwear, tops and bottoms in the same bag...don't worry about the socks, you look like you keep the floors clean enough for me to get my own socks. You're the best, Dino-Nerd!"

Darius:

[watcheraurora]

Always fun to react to a Jimmy stream in Discord with some pals

[procrastinationaccount]

Harrow and heat

"She hadn't come on purpose; the scrap of black meat had asked for it - the chain of a kiss: the ice that burnt the flesh of the mouth that had stuck to the mouth that was frozen." (NtN, 472)

"Within the incinerator, [Pyrrha] looked at you ... There was no bloom of necromantic powers, nor move to save [her]self: the third saint to serve the King Undying stared at you with something very like helplessness, lying there with [her] heart exploded, a man before the flame ... It was the first time, as a Lyctor, exploding such tonnage of bone into an incinerator's flame, that you looked upon the limit of your power: and that limit still stretched so far out into the goddamn distance that it was out of your sight." (HtN, 289-290)

"The sky was the ceiling, and the ceiling was a decrepit room in Canaan House, veiled with the hot white breath from her own throat. When the world finally landed its long wound-up sucker punch, a tangled howl came out of her throat, and she was shocked that she was able to make such a noise. Memory hit Harrowhark Nonagesimus with the inexorable gravity of a satellite sucked from orbit, flinging itself to die on the surface of its bounded planet; the world hit her like a fall ... she was not shocked, after all. She was consumed. She was the kindling for the arson taking place in her heart, her brain dry wedding for the flames, her soul so much incandescent gas." (HtN, 3879-380)

"Harrow floundered, not toward the shore, but to the island in the centre - to the black mausoleum of glass and ice ... She hauled herself to shore and lay there, skin crawling, frozen half-solid, shivering and numb in that strange heat predating hypothermic death. And yet Harrow felt no pain; she felt nothing, in fact, but a welcome sense of homecoming - the strange, tiny, pleased familiarity of finding an old book once beloved, or some other antique of childhood ... The ice felt kind and warm; the stone gave as though it were cotton. Harrow lay where the Body had lain, perfectly at her ease, perfectly comfortable" (HtN, 503 - 504)

[monbons]

Six Some Sentences Sunday

Thank you to @you-remind-me-of-the-babe for the tag! Your snippet of Back and Back and Back was lovely. Little baby Baz with a smiling, knowing Simon was adorable.

After the major reveal of Chapter 4, it is going to get harder to do updates without huge spoilers for those of you who have not yet started reading. There are only two solutions to that problem: 1) you can no longer click on my previews at all--I know some of you have been reading them even though you aren't reading the actual fic yet!--or an even better solution, 2) you start reading! You won't regret it, I promise.

With that in mind, the first two paragraphs of Chapter 5 should be safe for everyone, even if you haven't been completely sucked in by The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch yet. (Although seriously, what are you waiting for???)

Hampshire, England March 8, 1708 Natasha has always insisted that glassworkers are forged in the crucible of heartbreak. After all, to become a master glassblower, the kind that produces tableware worthy of the crown, means years of suffering, of failure and injury, of glass gone wrong in every way imaginable, before finally producing anything of note, anything worth keeping. Baz may have grown up a glassworker, but his crucible is only just beginning. 

Hellos and high fives! @emeryhall, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla, @bookish-bogwitch, @raenestee

@roomwithanopenfire, @beastmonstertitan, @drowninginships, @valeffelees, @iamamythologicalcreature

@best--dress, @hushed-chorus, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @shrekgogurt @youarenevertooold

@arthurkko, @noblecorgi, @aristocratic-otter, @comesitintheclover, @ivelovedhimthroughworse