#And a big part of NHS figuring it all out comes down to his own perceptiveness and intelligence.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Let the revenge games begin.

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[robininthelabyrinth]

A continuation of NHS invites WWX to JYL's wedding, and what happened there? Perhaps about how the estemed Hanguang Jun ended up running off and eloping with the Nie sect heir's intended?

continuation of that short fic, now it’s own fic on ao3

Plus One - Chapter 2

“So,” Nie Huaisang said, sidling up to his brother and his two sworn brothers now that they’d finally gotten to the party part of the wedding and they could all huddle up in a corner to be anti-social together.

Or, well, for Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen to be anti-social and for Jin Guangyao to be forcefully restrained from attempting to perform hosting duties, which he incessantly tried to do - it was like he had no idea what servants were for. Which Nie Huaisang supposed was understandable, given everything, but the way Jin Guangshan encouraged him to do it certainly wasn’t.

“So,” Nie Mingjue said, his voice only mildly ominous in a way that suggested, to Nie Huaisang at least, that he was still finding this whole thing incredibly funny.

Accordingly, Nie Huaisang ignored him. “How much do you think I can milk being horribly dumped?” he asked. “Because I think I’m about to be horribly dumped.”

“By your new ‘intended’?” Lan Xichen said, looking amused. “Really, Huaisang, I don’t know what you were thinking by bringing him.”

“Uh, that he deserves to attend his shijie’s wedding? Obviously?”

“But to bring him to Lanling…”

“He’s my guest,” Nie Huaisang said haughtily, bringing out his fan and doing his best ‘rich young master who is better than this and is most certainly above your petty questions’ Jin sect impression. “You aren’t suggesting that the Jin sect would take back an invitation they freely issued, would they? Or breach the rules of hospitality?”

“Huaisang, Xichen didn’t mean it that way and you know it,” his brother said, sounding annoyed, but in his relaxed run-of-the-mill ‘I hate parties’ type of annoyance, rather than specifically about his behavior. “Obviously the Jin sect won’t do anything about it. Regardless of any other considerations, anything they did would be refusing to show our Nie sect face, and then I’d have to make an issue of it.”

He sounded wistful. Probably thinking about how he could use it as an excuse to storm out and go home early.

“We’re only worried about you, Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao murmured, looking remarkably calm for someone who was definitely (if unobtrusively) being blocked from leaving by two very tall men with excessive mother hen tendencies. “You’re all grown up now, not a child – you need to think about the political implications your actions might have. Aren’t you concerned about your brother’s reaction?”

Huaisang was about to explain that he’d gotten his brother’s permission, but then he remembered that they were in Lanling, full of spies, so he decided to tell Jin Guangyao about that later.

“It’s not my problem that Sect Leader Nie has to think about politics at what should be a happy family event,” he said instead, nose in the air, and Lan Xichen frowned even as Nie Mingjue sighed, probably at Nie Huaisang’s total lack of caring about even the basic obligations of etiquette. Or possibly his reference to their little inside joke, but these were his sworn brothers, so they’d have to figure out sooner or later that Sect Leader Nie and Nie Mingjue weren’t always the same. “Besides, that isn’t what I asked. I asked about how long I can milk my terrible heartbreaking break up.”

“I thought you were getting dumped?” his brother asked, passing him a jar of wine. A good brother, even if he was mocking him.

“Getting dumped leads to a break-up,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “Wei-xiong is a thankless white-eyed wolf who was just using me with absolutely no consideration of my tender feelings.”

“You have tender feelings?” his brother said. “Why wasn’t I informed of this?”

Nie Huaisang kicked him in the shin.

As usual, it had no impact whatsoever on his brother and only hurt his own toes, but it was the principle of the thing.

“Huaisang,” Lan Xichen said, his voice oddly gentle, even softer than normal. “Did you – really – for Wei Wuxian –”

Nie Huaisang, who’d been taking a drink of wine, nearly choked. “Er-ge,” he said, mildly horrified. “Please. Wei-xiong is a very handsome gentleman, fearless and dashing, with all the skills one might ask for in a son-in-law –”

“Brother-in-law,” his brother muttered, as if he hadn’t been Nie Huaisang’s de facto father figure for years.

“– and, yes, I suppose we have similar tastes in drinking, carousing, and pornography –”

“Of course you do,” Jin Guangyao said, looking up at the ceiling as if it would hide how his lips were twitching.

“– but let us not forget: he lives in a trash heap. With Wen sect. I have standards!”

“I thought he was marrying in?” Lan Xichen asked, smiling again now that he had confirmed that there was no actual heart-breaking occurring in the vicinity. “He’d live in the Unclean Realm that way, wouldn’t he?”

“He would not,” Nie Mingjue put in. “I don’t care if they’re all enlightened saints that do nothing but charity all day, no one surnamed Wen is living in my home.”

“You see what I’m up against?” Nie Huaisang said, holding out his hands in appeal to his brother’s sworn brothers. “My da-ge doesn’t understand, he’s only good for swinging a saber! How cruel and heartless must a man be to stand in the way of true love?”

Lan Xichen covered his smile with his sleeve. Jin Guangyao pressed his lips together in such a way that made his cheeks especially round and quivering with suppressed laughter, like a mouse stuffing its face to bulging with rice.

“Er-ge, you wouldn’t be nearly this cruel if it were you, would you?” Nie Huaisang asked, reaching out and tugging said sleeve. “You’d be kind and generous about it – I bet you’d find them a nice little place to live, maybe next to those foothills you’re always saying you want someone to use but that you’re not willing to sell…”

“Were you planning on moving in with er-ge after your marriage, then?” Jin Guangyao asked. He looked much more amused and relaxed now – maybe he’d been stressing over this being some sort of scheme and was feeling much better now that he realized it was actually just Nie Huaisang’s nonsense. His paranoia had always been deeply endearing. “I don’t think your brother will like that.”

“Not me,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes at him. “But if it was Lan Zhan sweeping him away, er-ge would definitely support him. Right, er-ge?”

“I always support my brother,” Lan Xichen said with a smile.

“Good,” Nie Huaisang said, taking another swallow of wine. “Because he and Wei Wuxian just had a very intense conversation in a secluded corner that ended with them kissing and running off together, so it’s about to become your problem.”

Nie Mingjue choked, Jin Guangyao’s jaw dropped, and Lan Xichen’s eyes got really big.

“Not joking,” Nie Huaisang clarified cheerfully. “Totally serious.”

“Excuse me,” Lan Xichen said, getting up very quickly. “I need to – go see –”

He didn’t even bother finishing the sentence before rushing off.

“Go with him,” Nie Mingjue said to Jin Guangyao, who blinked owlishly at him. “It’s going to be a shitshow, isn’t it? Politically, I mean.”

“Uh,” Jin Guangyao said.

“Really, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said. “The notorious ostracized-by-the-cultivation-world demonic cultivator Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch, is abruptly reintroduced to society as my intended bride, only to be stolen away by the Lan sect’s Second Jade, the second most desirable bachelor in the cultivation world, in the middle of a wedding party thrown by Lanling Jin? I have no idea why you think this would so much as raise an eyebrow.”

“That’s a lot of words to say ‘shitshow’, which is why I didn’t,” Nie Mingjue said. “Meng Yao – Jin Guangyao – oh, fuck it, A-Yao, someone is going to need to keep their head about them and think about the political implications long enough to keep Xichen from getting himself into serious trouble, and you’re better at it than I am. Go help him. I’ll cover for you two here.”

Jin Guangyao still looked torn.

“Don’t listen to da-ge, he’s worrying too much,” Nie Huaisang volunteered his own opinion. “How much trouble can the Lan sect really get into over a matter of love?”

“I’m going at once,” Jin Guangyao said, and ran after Lan Xichen.

A moment later, Nie Huaisang handed the jar of wine back to his brother.

“Well done,” he said, voice much more neutral than it had been a moment before. “Assuming your goal was to deprive Sect Leader Jin of san-ge’s assistance while we define the situation to make it come out the way we want.”

“Couldn’t have done it without your timely assist,” Nie Mingjue said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He did so hate politics, and he hated being good at it even more. Truly there was nothing better, in Nie Huaisang’s opinion, than forcing his brother to relent and give in to the sneaky bastard half of his heritage. “Anyway, Sect Leader Jin is drunk and his heir is the groom, and thus occupied. It’s only reasonable that I, as the person with the next highest status, take charge of dispersing the news.”

“And by ‘dispersing the news’ you mean rehabilitate Wei-xiong’s reputation, get him reinstated in the Jiang sect, and arrange an appropriate marriage between him and Lan Zhan before anyone can complain about an inappropriate elopement, of course.”

“It’s called being efficient, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said.

“It’s called creating a countervailing alliance to the Jiang-Jin sect connection, getting both the Jiang sect and the Yiling Patriarch to owe our sect a favor – not to mention the Lan sect, too! – and conveniently also undercutting Sect Leader Jin’s authority just at the moment he’s trying to install himself as the new ruler of the cultivation world.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said, finishing off the jar and putting it down. “I’m far too stupid to be considering any of that. Only good for swinging a saber, remember?”

Nie Huaisang sniggered.

“Yes, I remember,” he said. “You won a whole war against a much stronger, more numerous, and more unified force on Baxia’s strength alone, no brains required. How can I help? You want me crying or excited?”

“Whatever you think is best, Huaisang.” His brother solidified his scowling angry face, just the sort of thing a dumb brute might wear when dealing with politics that he was far too ignorant to understand. “Let’s go right some injustices, shall we?”

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 20, part three(!)

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

This episode has so much crucially important stuff in it I had to write 3 posts about it! Part one is here, part two is here. 

Don't Start None, Won't Be None

Lan Wangji has never had a real fight with Wei Wuxian before--remember, in their rooftop fight Wei Wuxian never even drew his sword. And since this is going to be a verbal fight, Lan Wangji is going to lose, badly. He's an elegant and articulate speaker, but he's not quick with words, and he speaks directly and sincerely. Weaponized speech is not his area at all, so he's pretty much bringing a knife to a gunfight. A guqin to a flute fight. Whatever. He tries to turn it into a physical confrontation, twice, but Jiang Cheng holds him back.

This throwdown is 100% about religion and orthodoxy; something that is fundamental to both of these young men's lives. Lan Wangji has made it his mission to be as orthodox as possible, doing shit like volunteering to be beaten for drinking when he didn't choose to drink. He's constantly overwhelmed by emotion, and the Lan rules are a source of regulation and safety for him. His emotions around Wei Wuxian are among the most overwhelming he's got, possibly only second to his feelings about his mom.

Right now his feelings are extra overwhelming. 

It's complicated because his relationship with Wei Wuxian literally started off with him punishing Wei Wuxian for heterodoxy. All that time they spent together in the library? Was because Wei Wuxian talked--JUST talked--about using resentful energy for cultivation. Which is precisely the ability he's just shown them, along with a style of killing enemies that's borderline evil and definitely, DEFINITELY unsportsmanlike.

So this is not, Lan Wangji is lovingly worried about Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian is pushing him away to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. This is Lan Wangji freaking out because his entire system of belief is being challenged and he's in love with the person who's challenging it.  

Wei Wuxian has shown up to the party wearing an International Mr. Leather tee shirt with a enamel pin stuck to it that says "I get my kicks on route 666" and Lan Wangji just. cannot. deal.  

Never Start a Fight But Always Finish One

Wei Wuxian has a couple of options here. One is to accept, kindly, that he and his friend can't be friends any more because of religion. In this option, in order to preserve his friend's comfortable sense of being right, he would have to tacitly accept that he himself is bad in some way, and allow his friend to keep having his value system, while walking away from him.  

The other choice is to hit so hard that he makes his friend feel really, really bad, and potentially rocks him off of his comfortable foundation. In the short term, the friendship breaks, but if it forces him to actually question his value system, it might lay the groundwork for a new, more accepting friendship.  Anyone who is queer with an anti-queer-religious best friend is probably familiar with this dilemma.

Wei Wuxian chooses the second option, and goes all in from the first moment, calling Lan Wangji "Lan Er Gongzi" and then upgrading to "Hanguang Jun" and even bowing. If it's possible to bow sarcastically, that's what Wei Wuxian is doing. Then he meets his eyes and sticks his chin out, essentially saying "how do you like them apples?"

(more after the cut!)

Lan Wangji's feelings are probably hurt, but he's too busy being mad to show it, and he goes straight to grilling Wei Wuxian, asking him about the killing, the talismans, and giving up the sword, all while Jiang Cheng stands by and wonders what the fuck is happening. 

Lan Wangji is making a fundamental error here, which is he's speaking as if he's an authority instead of as a peer. Wei Wuxian has only ever accepted one authority in his entire life, and that was Jiang Fengmian. Jiang Cheng is the one who, for a change, is approaching as a worried friend, while Lan Wangji approaches as if he has the right to call Wei Wuxian to account.  

Wei Wuxian won't answer his questions and is getting in his face, provoking him in a very quiet and controlled way, and Lan Wangji responds by just being really aggressive. It's interesting to see Wei Wuxian completely mastering his emotions while Lan Wangji is completely....not.  Wei Wuxian pushes harder, saying he's being rude, saying he's being a bad friend.  Which doesn't make any difference to Lan Wanji, who keeps pressing for an answer while Jiang Cheng wonders what the fuck is happening.

Come to Gusu

Wei Wuxian says he already explained, that it's complicated, it will take time to explain, so then Lan Wangji makes the utterly dumbassed demand that Wei Wuxian return to Gusu with him to explain it. What, exactly, is his plan? Bring Wei Wuxian to Gusu and have Lan Xichen (at the very least) and probably also Lan Qiren help him to convince Wei Wuxian that resentful cultivation is bad? How is that likely to work out? Let's have our own flashback, to that classroom interaction that led to the punishment in the library.

Lan Qiren: How will you make sure the resentful energy will only listen to you and not harm others? [Note: he's not wrong, Wei Wuxian] Wei Wuxian: I haven't figured that out yet ["details," as OP's dad used to say] Lan Qiren: If you did, the cultivation world would not allow your existence [i.e. we, the Lan Clan of Gusu, will kill your ass]

Lan Wangji probably doesn't think he's threatening Wei Wuxian with death by inviting him to Gusu, but he kinda is, if Lan Qiren was serious back then.  Lan Wangji is so upset and fearful that he's not really thinking clearly at this point. He loves Wei Wuxian and he's certain that cultivating with resentful energy will destroy him. [Note: he's not wrong, Wei Wuxian]  But Wei Wuxian is beyond fear. He's already been destroyed once.

Wei Wuxian rips on Gusu and then says, in a super-provocative way, that he prefers Yunmeng, which prompts Lan Wangji to say "don't joke around" as angrily as possible. 

This part of the interaction always confuses me because...shouldn't he prefer Yunmeng? He's actually from there and lives there and belongs there and stuff? He's just saying "I think I'll go with my brother" yet WWX and LWJ both act like he said he'd rather go to Demon City.

Lan Wangji takes a big step forward and Jiang Cheng blocks him while Wei Wuxian continues to act unperturbed and puzzled while holding his demon flute out in between them. 

Finally, FINALLY, Wei Wuxian calls him Lan Zhan, and asks him a serious question: What do you really want. Lan Wangji calms down for a second--although he keeps leaning into Jiang Cheng's sword block--and gets to the point, which is that the unorthodox path is dangerous, and harmful to his temperament.  

Kill one turtle together and you think you're the boss of me

So, these dudes are talking about 2 different levels of unacceptable cultivation, in this episode and the next few. Netflix translates these as "wicked tricks" and "crafty tricks," which both sound absolutely ludicrous in English, so I'm going to use my own preferred terms, going forward.  

I think what they are calling "Wicked Tricks," which includes spirit snatching and feeding people to the murder turtle on purpose in order to harvest their resentment could be translated as Heresy--adhering to a forbidden belief or practice; standing in opposition to Orthodoxy.  

Edit: After rewatching Episode 35, in which Nie Huaisang explains why their whole blade thing doesn’t count as “wicked tricks,” I’ve changed my mind about what to call this. NHS says that “wicked tricks” specifically involve the use of humans & human spirits (killing, sacrificing, etc.). Which means Necromancy is probably the better term for this particular type of cultivation, although it is still (also) Heresy. 

"Crafty Tricks," which is using resentful energy to raise and control already-dead people (ghosts and zombies) as well as just generally using resentment for basic stuff like beating Jin Zixuan's ass, could be translated as Heterodoxy--deviating from the accepted belief or practice, but not to the point of complete opposition.

Wei Wuxian laughs while Lan Wangji tries to be convincing, but since Lan Wangji is just repeating what he's been taught, he's not making much headway. Instead of saying "there's no exception throughout history" he could have, instead, gone with his own actual observations, such as "you are acting like a sadistic prick" or "you seem amazingly miserable" or "you aren't hugging your brother, what the fuck is that about?" But no.

Wei Wuxian responds to the charge of heresy by saying nuh-uh, and explains his methods, sort of, while going back to calling him Lan Er Gongzi. Lan Er Gongzi responds by actually literally yelling at him, and saying he's not allowed to decide for himself about what he's doing, as if the words "allowed to" have ever meant a goddamn thing to Wei Wuxian.

Temperament

At this point Wei Wuxian is done. He goes and gets right up in Lan Wangji's face and sticks a metaphorical knife right in his heart, smiling as he does it. "How do others know my temperament?" he asks; "and why should it be their concern?" i.e. you are not in my heart. 

This makes Lan Wangji so mad he calls Wei Wuxian "Wei Wuxian" for possibly the only time in the show, and he also flashes a whole bunch of angry teeth. (Gifset here). In a callback to the JFM-YZY fight back in Lotus Pier before the war, Wei Wuxian just calmly says "Lan Wangji" back at him, and then tells him to go fuck himself.

Jiang Cheng still doesn't understand what the fuck is happening, but this is a sentiment he understands, so he also tells Lan Wangji to go fuck himself, reminding him that Wei Wuxian is Jiang clan property and it's not the Lans' place to discipline him. Adding "and I'm not going to discipline him any way, look how good he is at killing people!"

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji continue to stare into each others' eyes from a distance so close that it really should lead to making out, but they are both much too angry for that. 

Wei Wuxian is as cold as we ever see him, smiling as he silently confirms: I do not belong to you. Lan Wangji glares back, his anger maybe finally giving way, a little bit, to being hurt.

Finish Him!

Wen Chao picks this moment to wake up and crawl over to the trio, begging Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng to save his life, since he presumably knows it's pointless to beg Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian turns around and gives him the EXACT SAME dead-eyed smile he just gave Lan Wangji, and kicks him.

Then he tells Lan Wangji to please leave so he and his brother can finish torturing this dude to death, and caps it with an official Jiang Clan eye roll.  

Lan Wangji, poor bb, just throws in the towel, and turns and leaves, the anger finally starting to leave his face and be replaced with something else...chagrin, maybe? Or maybe just softer anger, for the moment. 

After he's out of sight Wei Wuxian turns and looks after him sadly, all of the cruelty and hardness gone from his expression, while Wen Chao says "forgive me,"  possibly voicing what Wei Wuxian is thinking.

Lan Wangji walks out the front gate, troubled, and hears Wen Chao scream. He stops and replays the most pointed part of the fight in his head - the part where Wei Wuxian asked him, "who do you think you are?" Lan Wangji went into the fight believing he was completely right and was entitled to judge Wei Wuxian, but he's come out of it with his certainty shaken. 

Family Time

The Yunmeng brothers go to the ancestral shrine in Lotus Pier even though the whole "reclaiming Lotus Pier" scene doesn't happen until Episode 24. So apparently they just kind of sneak into the the shrine, and then sneak back out. Or, you know, continuity error.  Anyway Wei Wuxian is nothing if not adept at sneaking around death-related places.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng bow and offer incense. It's nice that the Wens didn't fuck up everybody's name plaques when they were in control of the place...or the tassels, candles, etc. 

Wei Wuxian quietly tells Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian that he did what they asked--taking care of Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli--and they can rest now. Nosy parker Jiang Cheng wants to know what he's saying, but Wei Wuxian just changes the subject. 

They talk about going to Qinghe for the final combat of the Sunshot Campaign. Wei Wuxian says that's why he returned, which...dude, you can't even pretend you came back to be with your loved ones? Ouch. Jiang Cheng doesn't really react to that, but he's happy when Wei Wuxian says he wants to see Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian wants to know if she's ok and if she's mad at him, and Jiang Cheng says wait and see, because direct answers are not the Jiang Clan way.

Jiang Yanli is helping tend to the wounded, and we see her telling a particularly fussy wounded dude to suck it up and stop complaining. 

When Wei Wuxian shows up she totally stops paying attention to the wounded dude so that she can smile at Wei Wuxian. 

He looks back at her tearfully, briefly managing to smile but then just trying to hold it together. He has been to hell and back, and doing his very best to hide it, but when he sees the person who loves him most--the person who will NOT spend 20 minutes yelling at him as soon as they see him--he starts to crack open.

[frustratedpoetwrites]

when Lily’s normal route home from work is closed she has to find a new way, and discovers a cute little bakery with a viewing window into the kitchen.

Read on AO3

Lily Evans had no problem walking around London. Her flatmates would always tell her to be careful, take the train, the bus, or even an Uber. Like she could afford to take an Uber every day for goodness sake. Lily  had a plan to pay off her student loans before she was thirty, and a tight budget to meet that goal. So she walked nearly everywhere, no matter the weather or the season. That’s what waterproofs, big coats, and good shoes were for. 

Her favourite was the walk home after finishing a night shift at around 5 am when the sky was just waking up. Not that a person could see much of the sky when walking through the built-up areas of London. The streets would be free of nearly everything but the vans delivering the first edition papers to the newsstands, or the milkmen doing their rounds, milk bottles clinking as the electric carts trundled past her. She hadn’t even realised milk was still delivered this way, not since she was a child growing up in the long narrow streets of Cardiff could she remember collecting milk from your door. 

She always walked the same way. Turn right from the hospital, then keep going straight across three traffic lights until she came to the rather grand looking Empire Hotel. There, cross the street and take the diagonal alleyway down to the underpass. Putting her foil-wrapped packet of leftovers from the night shift into the outdoor sleeper’s donation box, then up along a collection of grubby shops around the kids’ play park and then home.

That had been her route for months, it was the shortest she had managed to find. She never worried about muggers or strangers, she knew how to look after herself if anyone did try. Fourteen years of Thai-Kwon-Do training did that to your confidence. But even despite that, wearing her NHS ambulance uniform was like wearing an extra layer of protection anyway. So walk that way she did, every single time without fail. Until one day the alleyway was blocked by a great big orange barrier, stopping her halfway along.

Lily grumbled thinking they could at least put a sign up by the entrance and not make her walk all the way up here first. She disliked the idea of backtracking too far so she got out her phone and let it find her location. The maps on her device were notoriously inaccurate, usually putting her in the general direction of about three different streets, but this time it pinged her straight away and gave her a dotted line to follow. Just a little further down from the blocked off alleyway was another little side street, this one brighter and more welcoming than her usual route. There was also a fantastic smell of baking bread emanating from one of the buildings.

Normally at this hour, the only shops with any sign of activity were the 24hour convenience shops with their harsh strip lighting, lino floors, and soulless self-checkouts. As soon as she saw the front of this place she wished she had found this route sooner.

It looked straight out of a Dickens novel with its small square glass panelled bay window, the outside woodwork and door painted British racing green and with a swinging sign in the shape of a mushroom-like chef’s hat. She read the name of the place written in golden cursive lettering, Too Hot to Handle. She nearly laughed out loud. As she stepped closer wondering when they opened she spotted the small side window into the kitchen, where the baker was busy making bread.

Was there anything in the world more satisfying than watching someone knead dough? The way the shoulder blades slid underneath the thin t-shirt, biceps bulging and contracting. Strong hands gliding the dough, fingers sprinkling down the flour. 

Perhaps Lily was a little obsessed, perhaps not everyone thought the way she did about bread. The smell alone was making her mouth water, but perhaps if they also happened to walk past a bakery that had a viewing window into the kitchen they would find it equally mesmerising. The muscled back in question that had first caught her eye never faced the window, never even lifted their head from the task. She stepped away reluctantly, promising herself to come back when they were open.

The next morning she had to walk past the bakery once more. She was pleased to see it hadn’t been a figment of her overtired brain. The swinging sign and golden lettering were a welcoming sight to her. Once again her footsteps slowed as she approached the window peeking into the kitchen, she let herself stand a bit closer this time, breathing in the delicious smells coming from the extractor vent. Was it the same baker as yesterday? He still didn’t seem to notice her looking at him, his methodical movements were efficient and captivating. He was making rolls, two at a time. A figure coming into the kitchen broke her stare and she looked away from the baker to see a woman standing in the doorway to the shop looking curiously straight at her. Guiltily she stepped back like she had been caught peeping at a changing room and rushed off up the street, her heart beating.

For the next few days, Lily’s mind kept going back to that little street. She was on her rest days so had no reason to just randomly walk past. She would actually have to stop and buy something. She had not had a properly made crusty roll from a bakery in so long. There was nothing in the world as comforting as freshly made bread. She remembered her dad making some every Sunday as a treat until his arthritis made it too painful. She had already started to fantasise about what it would taste like, what kind of bread would she buy? It wasn’t that she had a problem, of course she didn’t, but back when she had been training more, it had become a staple to stop at the bakery on her way home from the gym and buy herself a doughnut. She still remembered the way her sister had always commented on it, making her feel like she should be ashamed of eating anything at all.

Luckily for Lily and her mental health she had stopped listening to what her sister thought of anything at all long before that moment, in fact, it would make eating the sweet treats taste that much better. She wondered if they did french pastry too? Unfortunately, she was still too mortified about being caught sneaking outside to go in. Even the next couple of times walking home in the early hours, she made sure she took the detour past but refused to let her feet linger, telling herself the smell was enough. 

*

There were no leftover sandwiches when she walked into the break room at the end of her shift. There were always leftover sandwiches. It wasn’t really that big of a deal, but on top of everything else that had happened this shift, it made Lily almost feel like crying. She had been on an emergency call trying to keep them calm, willing them to keep talking to her until the ambulance arrived. She had stayed on the line with them well past the end of her shift, not wanting to leave even after she heard the paramedics arrive and she was supposed to hang up, she had listened to them working to stabilize them enough to transport. It was only when the line went quiet that she disconnected, knowing they were on their way to the hospital, to the best possible care. Being an emergency call operator was never an easy job, but some days were way worse than others. Lily had just wanted to sit in the break room for a few minutes to settle herself and eat something sweet to feel better. But the staff room that always had snacks of varying levels of freshness was looking extremely clean and bereft of anything apart from coffee. She sighed, thinking she would have to brave the Tesco on the corner of her street before she went home, being unable to rely on the contents of her own fridge. She hated that supermarket, especially when she was already past the point of regular tiredness. It was going to be a slow walk home.

She thought that until she walked past the little bakery. The bakery that was not closed. The smells of baking, more intense than ever with the shop door propped open by a statue of a round fat man in a similar chef’s hat to the one on the sign. It had been over a month since she had been seen at the window, surely enough time had passed for her to no longer be embarrassed.

Inside the shop was just as pretty as the outside. Shelves lined with wicker baskets filled with so many types of bread covered the back wall. Glass fronted display cabinets filled with colourful dainty cakes, pastries, meringues, pies, and biscuits, made a barrier between where she was standing and the server. There was not a great deal of space where she stood, even less behind the counter, it was small but every part of it had been maximised to its full potential, the selection was astonishing, considering she was pretty sure all the work was done by hand. Lily had no idea how long she stood there astonished by the selection. It reminded her of the fancy cake shops she had seen on her school trip to Paris as a teenager.

When Lily finally tore her head away from the displays long enough to look at the server, she recognised them as the same women who had spotted her at the window. She looked to be in her sixties Lily guessed, her short grey hair was kept neatly in place by the white hat she was wearing, her intelligent eyes were watching her with polite interest. And her smile was warm and welcoming. Lily tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and looked back down at the display.

“Two sourdough rolls, and three Pain Au chocolats’ please?” she asked shyly. The ladies’ smile broadened as she turned to fill a paper bag with two intricately scored round rolls from one of the baskets behind her. Lily glanced to the side door, she could hear the sound of dough being slapped against the table, but wherever they were standing they were not visible from her position.

She paid for her goods contactlessly, grabbed the paper bag as it was handed to her, and practically ran out of the shop.

She unfurled the top as soon as she was out of view, unable to wait until she was home to eat the pastry. She was so hungry she didn't waste any time but bit about half of it in one. It was sweet and buttery, with a softly melting chocolate centre, she had never tasted anything that came even close since that same Paris trip. She was just finishing it off, licking her fingers unashamedly when she reached the underpass. Because she was later the usually unidentifiable lumpy sleeping bag was a person sitting up. She did not hesitate at all before handing them the other pastries still in their smaller paper bag, hoping they wouldn’t be disappointed.

“No leftover sandwiches today I’m sorry,” she told them, not waiting around for a reply. She was beginning to feel a rather welcome sugar rush, pushing off her fatigue for long enough to keep her legs moving and back to her flat.

When she finally got home, she sat down hard at the kitchen table, contemplating just going to bed instead of trying to eat anymore. But the sugar from the pastry was wearing off and she knew she would wake up famished, and sooner than she wanted to if she didn’t. Wearily she lifted herself back up and looked in the fridge. There wasn’t a huge selection to go with her bread, but there were some cheddar slices and still a little bit of her dad’s homemade chutney.

The first bite made her make a noise she had never uttered outside of her bedroom before. The way the crispy crust broke making that wonderful crackle as her teeth sunk through to soft inner bread, the flavours of the cheese and pickle mingling perfectly, she was in complete heaven.

“My god, Evans I thought you’d brought a bloke home!” Marlene, her flatmate, exclaimed walking out of her bedroom already in her scrubs, blonde hair tied back severely into a bun. “You’re home late, bad shift?” Lily just nodded and took another bite, swiping the crumbs off her chin with a finger, “Do you want to talk about it?” Lily shook her head and moaned again. “Jeez Lily, why don’t you take it to your room? What’s in that sandwich?”

“This is the best thing ever, you have to try it.” Marlene looked sceptical but nevertheless took a bite out of the roll and her eyes rolled backwards. No words were needed Lily just nodded her agreement.

*

Lily didn’t think about the little bakery until she was standing outside it again the next morning. She should have just kept walking, she knew it would be closed. Why had her feet even come this way at all? But her feet wanted her to have a closer look at the treats on offer, and perhaps a peek at who was making them.

The dark-haired, broad-shouldered guy was there again, his back to the window, hands and arms busy working the dough on the table in front of him, she thought he was making some kind of small pastry, his fingers were deftly twisting then placing on large greased trays.  He was wearing black and white check chef’s trousers today with the same long sleeved, tightly fitting, white T-shirt she remembered from before, his shoulder blades danced underneath the cotton, the ribbon of his apron crossing tightly around his neat waist, and a red and black bandana covering his head.

She couldn’t make out his face. Not even in a reflection, as every surface in that room was stainless steel or wood.

“Good morning,” came a female voice from right beside, making Lily jump out her skin and turn like she had been caught with her hand in the sweetie jar.

“Hi, sorry,” she gave her a nervous smile, “ just looking at your wonderful cakes.” She felt the heat rise up in her cheeks at the obvious lie. She was at the wrong window.

“Did you enjoy the rolls yesterday?” she asked next, making Lily stop.

“Yes, thank you, they were wonderful,” she replied, impressed.  “You must have a good memory, I’m sure you get loads of customers every day” 

“True,” she replied with a twinkle in her eyes, “ but not normally as early as you.” Lily shrugged looking down at her shoes.

“Yes, I’m just going home from my shift, I finished a bit later yesterday so you were actually open.”

“Oh, we are open now, if you would like to buy something. Not quite as much is ready yet, but we have croissants just out of the oven.” She started walking back into the shop as she was speaking so Lily had no choice but to follow her in. Lily’s mouth was already watering at the thought of the buttery flakey pastry.

“Just out the oven?” Lily asked in a delighted almost whisper.

“Oh, yes. How many would you like?”

“Four?” Remus had thrown a strop yesterday when he’d discovered she’d gone to a bakery and hadn’t brought back anything for him so she would make sure she did today.

“No problem, I’ll just have to go get them. They might still be a little hot but I’ll put them in a box for you.” Her voice trailed off as she went into the kitchen leaving Lily to stand and wait. “JAMES!” She heard the woman shout from another room. “Where are the..? Oh, never mind, I found them.” She came back carrying the kind of boxes that were normally reserved for delicate cakes and placed it on the top of the glass for Lily to take.

“May I ask, do you make everything by hand?”

“Well not me personally anymore, I help a bit but it’s mainly my sons who do all the work,” she stated proudly. “Would you like anything else?” Lily shook her head.

“I would love too but I don’t have the time to burn it off anymore,” she confessed and the lady smiled politely. She paid for her pastry, went to leave but before she reached the door the thought struck her.

“Did you open just for me?”

“Oh, no my dear we just decided to open a little earlier today for no reason at all.”

* 

Lily arrived back at her flat to find Marlene and Remus already sitting at their kitchen table expectantly. Remus was hugging the biggest mug they had and the smell of roast coffee was thick in the air. Marlene was wrapped up in her fluffy pink dressing gown, her hair in rollers. Lily remembered her saying she was going to spend today with her girlfriend, the doctor. Lily thought she might have been here already. Dorcas often spent the night, especially if they both had the rare occurrence of a shared day off the next day. It was a little cliche for nurses and doctors to date, but understandable as who else could understand the demanding schedule of hospital staff. But it seemed that Marlene had made plans to meet her later. Where Marlene looked like she was on her way to being ready for her day, Remus looked like he had barely woken up. 

“Wow Remus, what’s the occasion? I don’t normally see you out of your room before noon?”

“Marlene and you were rhapsodising about those fucking rolls you had yesterday. I just had to try for myself, so hand them over.”

“Who says I want to share?”

“That box you are holding,” he replied with his hand out, with an exaggerated sigh she placed the box in his hand and went to make herself some tea. She smiled to herself as she saw the teapot already sitting with a herbal tea bag inside.

“I would have poured it already but I know you don’t like it over brewed.” Marlene told her with a smile, and she was right. Lily hated the bitter taste if it was left too long. Coffee was her favourite but she would never sleep if she took any now.

“No cakes?” Marlene exclaimed sounding slightly disappointed, taking a croissant out the box. “These do look good, though.” Lily tried not to roll her eyes at her friend who had the sweetest tooth, Lily, on the other hand, didn’t quite so much, she liked chocolate but preferred it more on the dark side. She was the type of person who would eat the rich fruit Christmas cake but leave the icing.

Remus picked up one for himself. “They’re still a little warm!” he exclaimed with joy. Without being asked Lily took the jar of chocolate spread out of the cupboard and placed it with a knife in front of him, he didn’t say anything just smirked at the jar.

“Oh my fucking god,” Marline said her mouth full, she moaned leaning back in her chair looking up at the ceiling. Remus and Lily both watched her, slightly stunned by her reaction. Remus pulled a piece from the end and popped it in his mouth. His reaction wasn’t quite as extreme but his eyes closed as he savoured the flavour nodding to himself as if agreeing with Marlene.

“Good lord, can you two get a grip on yourselves?” Lily complained before sitting down and taking a bite of her own. She thought she knew what it would taste like having already tried a breakfast pastry just yesterday. The outside flaked but not enough that you were left with a mouthful of crumbs, the inner layers were soft and pale yellow, with almost a lightly toasted flavour. 

“Huh?” she said amazed.

“You need to tell me where this place is. You can’t deny me this, you have no idea,” Remus told her earnestly.

“Do you and these need to get a room?” Marlene giggled, looking in the box for more.

“Says the woman who was moaning not two minutes before.” Remus glanced at the single crescent moon left in the box, then at her. Lily took a long sip of her tea before placing it down with a sigh. 

“You two can fight over the last one or be adults and share it. I’m going to bed.”

“Lily, where is this place?” Remus called to her pleadingly

“Buccaneer street,” Lily replied with a yawn closing her bedroom door, and blocking out her two best friends.

*

Lily awoke to a quiet house. This was not unusual, Marlene was often on the opposite shift to herself and Remus tended to spend most of his awake time doing whatever freelance photographers did outside the house.

Sleepily she stretched and put her slippers on, shuffled back to the kitchen hoping they had refilled the coffee machine for her. She had left her phone on the kitchen table and the screen lit up as she sat down.

Two texts from Remus and an Instagram notification. 

Remus: I found your bakery. 

Either I need to start going to the gym again or find a man who likes my dry wit and stunning 

personality.

Remus: The baker is HOT. Like OMG are you kidding me hot!

Having that viewing window into the kitchen is genius.

I could have stared at that arse all day.

Lily rolled her eyes as she tapped out a reply.

Lily: Haha I knew you would love the place, it's cute isn’t it?

Lily poured herself a large cup of coffee and was settling down to drink it when her screen lit up again.

Remus: Update. So I got talking with the owner and said she would be happy for me to take a few pictures to help promote their business.

Apparently, they’ve not been there that long.

I’ve already taken a few snaps for my insta.

Lily exited her text messages and opened her Instagram and selected Remus’ page. It was always full of an assortment of fabulous pictures of all sorts of things, normally related to current events. But all of them today were pictures from that beautiful tiny bakery. Her breath caught when she viewed the last picture. The grey-haired lady who had served her both times without the usual white hat and apron, wearing a cornflower blue dress covered in tiny white flowers, standing smiling proudly, an arm around the two men standing at each side of her with their backs to the camera completely dwarfing her. They were wearing matching bandanas and T-shirts but instead of the usual plain white she had seen every time, these were dark green and both said Too Hot….? across the shoulders.  Euphemia Potter with her sons: James and Sirius Lily read. At least now she had a name for each of them but still not a face to the bakers. Which one was her baker?

Lily: Your skills are slipping, Remus. Are they so ugly you had to save us from seeing their faces? 

Remus: They wanted to promote their brand and not their faces, which I am so upset about. They are both extremely handsome, but Sirius (the one with the sleeve tattoo) is so hot I almost dropped my camera.

Lily looked a bit more closely at the photo and spotted the arm with the intricate sleeve work. Unfortunately, this still wasn’t much to go on. They both had dark hair the majority of which was hidden under matching bandanas and the same build, was one a little shorter? 

Lily: Did he show any interest back?

Remus: Sort of. I’m not sure, I’ll tell you about it when I get home. Are you working later?

Remus, as it turned out, was hopeless when it came to making a first move, and had no additional information to tell her beyond the fact that when he had told Sirius he liked his tattoos, Sirius had complimented his camera and touched his arm. This to Lily was a ringing endorsement of interest at the very least, but not to poor Remus who couldn’t even say for sure he knew he was gay.

This just made Lily shake her head at her poor clueless friend, and decide she would have to do something about this herself. The way Remus was talking about him she just knew this had to happen if it was at all possible, she owed it to Remus as his best friend.

Going back to the bakery for the third day in a row, Lily’s budget was really starting to take a bit of a battering. She wasn’t sure if she could keep this up. Buying things in London was expensive, buying handcrafted artisan food in London was enough to make you consider your life choices. She would sacrifice her budget, just this once. 

It was not exactly the day off she had originally planned. That day had included wearing her pajamas all day, a scorching hot bath, a bottle of wine and not leaving the flat at all. But here she was, dressed in her best fitting jeans, midnight blue top, long grey oversized cardigan, and ankle boots, standing outside the little bakery waiting her turn. She had never been in the middle of the day before so had never had to que. This did not bode well for her plan at all. She couldn’t be charming and funny and ask for his number for her friend if she was holding up the line. She just couldn't do that, she hated people who did that. Well, hate was a strong word, she would get mildly disgruntled if she had to wait behind chatty customers when she was in a hurry.

The first barrier to get over of course would be Mrs Potter, perhaps if Lily could get her inside help? But the relationship between sons and their mothers was a tricky thing. She would have to tread carefully, she had grown far too fond of this place to have to stop due to a misunderstanding with the owner. The line got closer to the shop and she could now see inside the kitchen. The stainless steel table was bare and wiped clean, no evidence of the usual industry. She tried to suppress her disappointment, feeling more than a little guilty for objectifying whoever it was she had been looking forward to watching. 

The que ahead was going down quickly now, and just before she reached the door a customer came out clutching a large paper bag to his chest.

“We’re sold out folks.” Lily heard a strong male voice call out to the waiting customers, who immediately started moving away, with less grumbling than Lily would have thought. This must be a regular occurrence.

“Knew I should have gotten here sooner, dang it.” The man behind her spoke, before heading back up the street in the direction of the Empire Hotel and the main road. Lily watched him go and noticed she was now the only person left waiting, seeing this as a perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation without holding up any customers she stepped inside. The man who had spoken had his head down adding numbers to a large notebook as she walked in. She tried to look for any signs of tattoos but his arms were covered by the same style white coat that she’d seen Mrs Potter wearing. But where her coat had a large golden E on it, this coat had an ornately scrolled S.

“I’m sorry if you didn’t hear, but we’re all sold out,” his voice trailed off as he looked up from his task, her heart gave an involuntary flutter as he shot a lopsided grin at her while dropping his pen. He wasn’t wearing the chef’s whites, but Lily was pretty sure this must be Sirius. He was incredibly handsome, dark eyes regarded her behind dark framed glasses, that rested on a bold but not over large nose, his strong jaw had a hint of stubble that suggested he had either missed shaving that morning or was someone who needed to shave more frequently. A green and white check bandana covered his head showing very little of the dark hair underneath apart from at the nape of his neck where a few strands had escaped and were curling.  He flashed another smile at her showing perfectly straight white teeth. “All I’ve got is coffee. Would you like some?” The way he asked wasn’t the usual seller to potential purchaser tone. It sounded to Lily like he was offering her a friendly drink. 

“How much is your coffee?”

“Oh no, it’s not for sale, it’s just I’m going to have a cup, so if you want some too you can. It’s not good enough to sell to customers.” He flushed slightly and shook his head. “I’m sorry. Mum usually does the customer side. I need more practice. It’s not terrible I promise.” 

“The coffee or your customer service?” she replied with a twitch of her own lips.

“Both could be better,'' he replied. That lopsided grin was back again as he adjusted his glasses and made his way over to the only plastic thing in the shop apart from the till. He looked at her expectantly as he held two empty mugs. 

“Eh, yeah sure. I’ll have a cup. Milk and one sugar if you have it.” Lily was trying her best to stop admiring him. She had never found herself attracted to someone quite as quickly before, especially not someone who Remus was hopeless about. Lily determinedly squashed down her attraction, her friendship code wouldn’t allow that. From what Remus had told her she was pretty sure Sirus wouldn’t be interested in her anyway. Remus might not be sure, but Lily knew that he had a tendency to get rather flustered around attractive men, and miss the most obvious of signals. “I hope your mum’s okay?” she asked, taking the mug quickly as he was holding the handle out to her. 

“Oh yeah, she’s fine, just her day off.” He waved his hand casually before grabbing his own mug. She took a sip of the coffee as she tried to think of a way to bring up the whole reason why she was here. He was right, the coffee wasn’t good enough to sell. It tasted like the stuff she occasionally had to drink from her work’s vending machine. She tried to hide the grimace at the taste. 

“I have a friend who was here yesterday, he said you’ve not been open long? But you must be doing well to sell out so quickly.”

“We’ve been doing okay,” he replied modestly, giving a shrug and rubbing the back of his neck. “We normally have more made, but on the days my mum isn't here it’s more difficult to keep up, you know?”

“Yes, I understand, that must be so difficult to manage. Did you relocate far, because it doesn’t seem like you're new to this?” Why was she interviewing him? This wasn’t how it was supposed to be going, but she just wanted to know everything about him. It was incredibly charming, the way his eyes would meet hers then drift away like he didn’t want to be caught looking too intently at her.

“We had a place in Brighton, it did pretty well but just didn’t get the foot traffic. A developer offered to buy the whole row of shops well above the market value, so mum decided we would try our luck in the city instead.” He seemed to be relaxing into the conversation, resting a hip against the back counter, his free hand holding onto the edge. Lily found herself clinging on to every word he uttered, he had a very calming tone to his voice. He was so fascinating to her. Oh, it wasn’t fair that someone could be so attractive and so unavailable.

“Oh, I love Brighton, me and my mates would go all the time when I was at Uni, there are some really great bars and drag shows, it’s always a fun night,” she told him earnestly. “There is such a good scene in Brighton you must miss it.”

“Maybe a little but honestly it’s been a long time since I went out regularly, and the bars were never really for me. Bakers have to be up too early in the morning to spend all night out drinking.”

“The hours must make it difficult to spend time with your boyfriend,”  she asked him, trying her best to sound casual. He choked on his coffee.

“Boyfriend?” he spluttered, making her shrug.

“I just thought a handsome guy like you, no way you’re single?” She smiled at him warmly, he was clearly a little shy talking about this as his cheeks flushed slightly. He even looked attractive when he did that.

“That’s nice of you to say, but sadly I am definitely, extremely single. What about you? Anyone special in your life? Did you come to my shop to buy sweet treats for them?” She shook her head in reply.

“No, I’m just as single too. I guess we’re both as bad as each other?”

“Eh yeah, I guess we are. It’s a nice change when someone comes in and isn’t mad we have sold out of food. ” He took a long drink from his coffee, his eyes watching her intently over the top of his mug. It would have made her blush if she thought he had any interest in her.

“Yes I can imagine.” She really could sympathise, her own work took up so much of her time, a social life beyond the occasional night out with her friends was pretty much beyond her. “Well if you ever get a day off and want to go drink better tasting coffee than this I know a few places, one not that far from here in fact.”

“You do?” he asked, sounding surprised,.“I’d like that. It’s my day off tomorrow actually, it’s probably too soon…”

“No, tomorrow would be nice. Shall we meet here around this time?”

Remus was sitting at the kitchen table once more when she got home, various piles of chopped vegetables arranged before him in neat piles. She loved it when she was home for Remus’ cooking, it always made her feel like they were their own little family. She walked up to him and hugged his shoulders as he continued to chop mushrooms into four.

“You seem happy,” he observed, “did you have a nice day off?”

“It was nice actually,” she replied, releasing him and grabbing a slice of pepper, “I’m off again tomorrow we should do something.” He shrugged and nodded in a maybe kind of way. Which was as close to a yes I’d love to as she was likely to get.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Oh, nothing in particular, we could just go out for coffee, or whatever.”

“Lily, you constantly complain to me that barista coffee is overpriced, to be fair you complain that most things in London are overpriced” his eyes squinted at her suspiciously. “What are you up to?”

She took a bite of the pepper and tried to look innocently back at him. “Why do you think because I want to do something nice with my friend you immediately think I’m up to something? It’s outrageous.” She finished her pepper before giving a dramatic yawn. “Well, I think I’ll take a little nap before dinner is ready, unless you want some help?”

“No, I’m good thanks. Pretty sure I can manage to make pasta sauce without your assistance, I’ll wake you when it’s ready.”

*

Lily was enjoying walking with Remus, they didn’t do it nearly often enough. Normally when she walked it was by herself, with a purpose and normally at a brisk pace, but not today. Today she was strolling casually with one of her best friends, back down to the street where the bakery was. Her arm was linked through Remus’ who, as always had his camera slung around his neck making him look more like a tourist than someone who had lived in London their entire life. Freelance photographers lived for that perfect image that would make them, they also never took a day off. Lily had given up trying to get him to part with it for at least a day long before now. But it seemed today he was content to leave his camera at his side.

Either Remus was no longer suspicious of Lily’s motives to go for coffee with him , or he had decided to play along. He was looking very fine in chinos and a coral v-neck jumper. He had styled his sandy locks, and it was flopping over to the left side of his face in a perfectly casual way. She was pretty sure the reason why he was so nicely dressed and no longer asking questions was because he had sussed out her cunning plan to set him up with Sirius the fit bakery guy. Especially as he had not even commented when there were a dozen nicer coffee shops much closer than the one she had suggested.

“Can we please stop pretending  that we aren’t going to the bakery now? I’m pretty sure you are setting me up in some way here, and by the direction we are going, it has to be with that delicious baker boy,” Remus said finally, making Lily chuckle slightly.

“Why do we have to stop pretending? I was having so much fun watching you silently holding back your questions.” He didn’t respond at first just compressed his lips into a thin line and continued their walk in companionable silence.

“You may as well tell me, we are almost there.”

“Well okay, yes, but you have to pretend to be all shy and surprised to see him, I want my matchmaking skills to be on full show.” She hugged his bicep briefly, making him shudder at the contact. Lily loved when Remus was slightly off balance it made her feel a bit more normal about her own insecurities.

“Lily, there will be no need to pretend, I’m already in danger of sweating through my jumper,”

“But you look so handsome,” she replied looking up at him adoringly making him smile a small pleased smile. “Sirius isn’t going to know what hit him.”

“Oh, I hope you’re right.”

Lily spotted him before Remus did, standing outside his bakery, talking to another man, who Lily assumed was a customer by the familiar paper bag he was carrying. At least she thought it was the same guy who had offered her a coffee yesterday. She recognised the smile first, and his laugh as it drifted towards them. Lily had thought he looked handsome before in his white coat and bandana, but it was nothing compared to how he looked with his hair set free. He had so much of it, how on earth had he kept it all under that piece of fabric. He was wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt. Lily looked curiously to Remus when he stopped walking, a funny little half smile on his face. Sirius walked over to them smiling and raised his hand to shake Remus’ own, his forearms clearly visible, without a single tattoo. Lily’s heart began to hammer slightly as the reality of the situation dawned on her.

This wasn't Sirius.

This must be the other brother, the one that Remus hadn’t said much about at all. He could have warned her how disarmingly handsome he was. Remus shook hands with him enthusiastically, looking more amused than disappointed at Lily’s mistake. “Nice to see you again.”

“Yeah, you too,” not Sirius replied, with a sidelong look at her. Lily crossed her arms and squinted, this was not how this was supposed to go.

“Lily, have you met Sirius’ brother James?”

“Not properly, no,” she said slowly he offered his hand out to her and when she took it she had the strangest sensation, almost like pins and needles shooting up her arm. “You knew I was going to bring Remus, didn’t you?” She asked him letting his hand go probably a little too quickly but she felt so completely off balance.

“When you said you had a friend visit the shop the day before and then asked if I had a boyfriend I kind of guessed. It was flattering actually to be mistaken for him, he’s normally the one who gets all the attention.” Lily wanted to say that she found that hard to believe but she was struggling with the ability to form coherent sentences.

“So Sirius, is he?” Remus asked, taking advantage of Lily’s silence and James smirked.

“He told me he wasn’t sure if you were picking up his signals, he felt off his game without his hair to flip around.” He played with his own hair for emphasis, Lily’s heart gave a little flutter. Remus reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “It’s his turn in the window today,” James continued, “it does draw in the customers.” He was watching her again, his hands in his pockets, trying not to be too obvious about it but every time she caught him looking at her it was like she was under a heat lamp. How could she have been so stupid yesterday not to see?

“I’m sorry I thought you were your brother, even though I’ve never met him.” He smiled at her again giving her both barrels of his dazzling white teeth.

“Oh, you will meet him soon enough, he’s just cleaning up. Mum said she’d close today, the customers never argue with her.” He took a step backwards in the direction of his shop still looking at them. “I’m just gonna go see if he’s ready.” James turned sharply before trotting over and disappearing down the small gap between the bakery and the next shop. As soon as he was out of sight Lily’s knees felt weak, and she grabbed onto Remus to hold herself steady. Remus turned to her, his face looking concerned.

“Lily, are you okay?”

“I’ve made a complete idiot of myself, what’s he going to think? This is terrible and he’s so cute. How did I not notice?” Remus looked at her astonished. She took a couple of breaths as Remus steadied her with a hand on her waist.

“And you say I’m an idiot when I see an attractive man. Lily, he adores you, I could see it clearly.”

“No, he was just being polite about the mix up!”

“He was trying to be polite, but he couldn’t keep his eyes away from you.”

“You really think?” She tried to get a grip on herself, she knew in herself she ever saw Remus or Marlene behaving this way she would tell them to do just that and probably be a lot more blunt about it than Remus was being.

“Yes I do, so stop thinking like you’re an idiot and let's go have a really nice time with two really nice boys, okay?” As much as she didn’t particularly relish the idea of going on what would be a double date with Remus, in this moment she was glad he was there. He had talked her back from the edge.

“You’re right, okay.” She closed her eyes and exhaled fully to expel the last vestiges of her anxiousness . “So do you think this is like a double date? He’s not exactly asked, and he knows I wasn’t exactly asking him. So is this a date?”

Remus rolled his eyes at her and threw up his hands. “You need to stop, you need to catch your breath and stop overthinking this.” He rubbed her arm. “He wasn’t mad or offended, he said he was going to get his brother. He was giving you full on smouldering eyes so badly.”

“He’s so lovely, what do I do?”

“Lily, I know it’s been a while, but you’ve had a coffee with another human being before.” 

He looked up then and his cheeks started to flush slightly, she followed his gaze to see James returning with the person who could only be Sirius, and now she understood what James had meant about Sirius always getting the attention. He was the type of person that drew every eye , even without trying. He flicked his long black hair over his shoulder as he walked towards them, already smiling confidently.

 Lily understood perfectly why Remus had found this man so attractive, he was clean shaven with strongly defined cheekbones and a slightly sharp chin. He was perhaps an inch shorter than his brother but you could only tell if they were standing side by side like they were now. Seeing them in person she saw they were not that alike at all. Sirius was wearing skinny jeans and a tucked in dress shirt with its sleeves pushed back above his elbow, the top two buttons were undone leaving it open at the neck revealing some braided cord necklaces. His eyes were pale and they looked at Lily with warmth as he reached out to take her hand, his intricately tattooed forearm clearly visible.

“So it’s you I have to thank for setting this up then?” He tilted his head and looked at her admiringly. “I was annoyed at myself for not being more obvious and asking for your friend's number,” when he said those words his gaze turned to Remus and then never left. “James can tell you I haven’t stopped talking about him ever since that day.” Lily watched her friend react to such an intensely obvious stare, he looked a little taken aback at first, but slowly the edges of Remus’ mouth curled up and his eyes met the others blushing  slightly. 

“Sirius, you say it like it’s been weeks, it was only two days,” James piped up with a smirk, drawing Lily’s attention, she smiled back at him enjoying this shared moment. “But yeah it’s true.” Sirius returned his gaze to her and took her hand once more to quickly place a kiss upon it. 

“Thank you,” he said then gestured to his brother. “And James thanks you too. If nothing else than stopping me from being a -- what did you call me? ‘A mopey arsehole?’” He let her hand go and turned his full attention back to Remus, who was standing very still and looking like he was totally captured by the magnetism of Sirius and his smile. “Shall we let these two get better acquainted?” He asked Remus, offering his arm. 

“Er, yeah okay.” he managed to reply, a bright smile appearing on his face. Remus took his arm and they started walking off together already talking to each other like this was more than only the second time of meeting.

“That went well, I think,” James said as they both watched them walking away, heads close together. “If you don’t want to - I mean it’s totally fine- I understand if you didn’t really.” His sudden insecurity made Lily’s own nerves fade a little. He was just as nervous as she was, she noticed as he raised his hand and rubbed the back of his neck.

“No, I would love to. As long as you do? I really want to go have a drink with you,” she looked down at herself, and tried not to sigh. “I just wish I’d made more of an effort to make myself look presentable.”

“What I’m seeing you look pretty perfect to me,” he replied, which made Lily snort out a loud laugh. 

“James, that was quite a line,” she chuckled, making him blush and look down at his feet. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I liked it.” She took a step towards him and lifted his chin so his eyes would meet hers again. She glanced over to where Remus and Sirius were now standing facing them, Remus had his camera up to his face and Sirius was casually resting an arm on his shoulder. “They look like a couple already, how is that possible?”

“Sometimes things are just meant to be together, like tomato and basil, or hazelnut and chocolate,” he suggested offering his hand to her. When she placed her hand into his, fingers sliding along his roughened palm she knew exactly what he meant. 

[coldkryptonitecupcake]

“Risen”, Ch. 18

  "So tell me again how you thought trying to stab an angry, magicked-up half-Ogre was a good idea?," Poppy inquired jokingly as she and Sienna did their best to relax in the Trickster's cave, each nursing their own wounds. "Or was it more of a spur-of-the-moment thing?"

  "The big guy said he needed a distraction, and that's what came to mind. Besides, it's not like I could strike up a conversation with the thing, I could barely stand to look at it," Sienna chuckled before wincing in pain. "Ah! Ooh, that smarts." She clutched her side and looked to Harrier. "Nothing you can do about that, little Light?" The Ghost shook his shell, a hint of guilt in his eye.

  The cave was silent for a moment, and the pair sat, each lost in their own thoughts. "Incoming message from Banshee. He says he's got something Narvuk might like, but he didn't get his feed earlier," Sonni piped up, snapping Poppy out of her daze.

  "Huh? Oh, thanks, Sonni. Tell him I'll be by to pick it up soon. Make sure he knows that it's me coming, not the big guy. Though maybe leave out the part about the Shore, yeah? We don't need him accidentally telling anyone about... y'know," she told her Ghost, who nodded and began composing the reply.

  "So what - nh! - what now?," Sienna asked as she sat up, looking around the cave like she was trying to memorize each and every crack. "Are we just gonna sit here and wait until Narvuk gets back here?"

"We don't have much choice, girl. He'll be back when he's done. Until then, we're kinda stuck here. I just hope no one shows up looking for trouble."

  "Too llate for that," a familiar growling voice sounded from the entrance. Narvuk leaned against the door as as though exhausted, a tiny smirk on his face. "Though the feeling iss appreciated, my friend," he said, walking down the steps to join his friends.

  They looked at him, puzzled and curious. "Your friend DeMarcus decided to stop by, some of his friends as wwell. Nothing to worry about." He shrugged as he seated himself at the base of the rock in the center of the cave, forming a triangle with the girls. "He and I had... words." Poppy and Sienna gaped for a full ten seconds, looking at each other and at Narvuk, before they launched a barrage of questions his way.

"What do you mean 'had words'?"

"How did he even find us?"

"He brought friends?!"

"Why didn't you call us?"

  The questions continued for several minutes before Narvuk threw up a hand. "Enough, please! My ears can only take sso much before I go mad!," he cried, silencing the others mid-sentence, their mouths, still open. "He found us through yyou, Sienna. You're the only one he got close enough to for it to make sense. I could not call ffor you because they threatened Zivath. Yes, he brought friends. The same ones from the hangar, before you ask."

  "Oh, cos that makes us feel so much better! You come back after almost two hours and tell us you were all but attacked, they threatened your Ghost, you won't explain what happened, and somehow they found you through me! And you're here just trying to brush it off?," Sienna exclaimed incredulously. "We haven't even been here for a day and we've already been discovered! We'll have to move you again, probably Nessus, Failsafe is good at keeping secrets..."

  Poppy laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Take it easy, girl. There's no guarantee anything will come of this. Hang on, what is" - she plucked something from Sienna's armor, a small red blinking light on it - "this... a bug. Of course. He had your coordinates the whole time." She crushed the device in her hand and let the pieces fall to the floor of the cave. Sienna balked at the pieces, confusion written all over her face.

  "Wha- how? I didn't even notice... guess I need to brush up on my counter-tracking skills. Wait, if he knows where we are, he could tell Zavala!," the Hunter realized, her head shooting up. "Hell, he could be telling him right now! Harrier, wipe the last travel data on the ship's warp drive, see if you can replace it somehow." Harrier nodded, and he turned away as he started working.

  "Sienna, there's no reason to think he'll tell anyone. If he does, he gets thrown to the Praxics for trying to kill another Guardian and all his friends are suddenly under direct Vanguard supervision," Poppy explained, gesturing for her friend to calm down. "Besides, the humiliation alone is enough reason for him to keep quiet. He'd never live it down." She turned to Narvuk, a question already on her lips. "Narvuk, you said Edal stopped DeMarcus, right? Or at the very least, he spoke up?," she asked, and the Knight nodded.

  "He also told me to call hhim if DeMarcus tried again. Perhaps we are still safe here. That is, I will be ffine for now. You two should get bback to the Tower, you'll be missed before too long. Besides I have much to think on after what we discovered," Narvuk explained, waving thegirls away.

  "I'll be back soon, Banshee said he had something for you. 'Til then, stay in here and try to stay out of any more trouble, yeah?," Poppy half-joked as she helped Sienna stand, pulling her to her feet. "I think there's been enough for a few days at least." Narvuk nodded, grinning. The girls left the cave, Sienna's limp not quite as noticeable as she went. After the sound of their footsteps had faded, Zivath materialized and turned to her Guardian.

  "Y'know, I had a thought when we were coming back here. If we can get ahead of the whole 'Great Disaster' situation, the reactions might be better than if we let others find out for themselves. It'll make a better impression, you'll come off as open about your past," she suggested, her shell shifting around her eye as she hovered. Narvuk's eyes flicked to his Ghost for a moment before going to his Cleaver. He was silent for a few long minutes, and Zivath was growing concerned. She was about to say something when he spoke.

  "On one hand, I think you're right about this. Openness is valued in Human culture, to a degree. Hhowever, we must consider consequences. To freely admit invvolvement in such a thing, one that, if Sienna is to be believed, left scars that have yet to heal..."

  "What're you getting at, Narvuk?"

  "Some might see it as a chance to avenge the lost, but my concern is for those like Eris. To take revenge is not her way, I think, but it might cause rifts between those who do not wish to fight," Narvuk thought out loud, the only visible sign of tension his fist clenching on his sword. "Perhaps it'd be better if we stayed out here."

  "What are you on about, big guy? The Vanguard need every Guardian they can get after the Red War, and it's not like you're completely without friends. Sure, some people might be angry. Let them! If even some can move on, the rest have no excuse. We've all lost people. Most of them weren't even alive for the Great Disaster! Shaxx and Zavala are probably the last Guardians who were, and they already made it clear that you're fine by them," Zivath half-lectured, her shell whirling in agitation. Narvuk huffed and waved her away, but it lacked any enthusiasm. "Look, I understand, I do. These last few days have been pretty hectic, and you haven't had a lot of time to process all the changes. Maybe... maybe we should stay here, at least until you can figure some stuff out. I'm sorry I didn't think of it sooner, you've been all over the place--"

  "It's alright, little shell," Narvuk interrupted his Ghost's rambling apology. "We hhave time to learn from each other. Where shall we begin?" A small smile formed on his face as Zivath's shell slowed and stopped.

  "Wellll, let's start with the different political factions in the City..."

[agendratum]

hey @tootiredtoosadtooangry i tried to answer your 6 weeks old ask, but as i saved it as a draft to check the formatting and all that, it just fucking disappeared, cause tumblr is a website. it may magically come back later, but idk if it will happen. good thing is that i saved the text of that ask separately, cause i’m a genius and i wasn’t gonna lose this essay *wink wink* to this fucking website

ok, so it's been 6 weeks

it's basically 5-7 business days, right?

so 6 weeks ago i made a gif, and under that gif i said that i might write an essay about some things (wei wuxian), but then some other things happened (word of honor) and i kinda got distracted. but now i have my glass of whatever this alcohol that i'm drinking is, and i think i'm ready to talk a bit about our depressed necromancer who in that gif just came back to life. mostly about:

1. the specific flashback he's having in that moment, the one about seeing lan wangji for the first time

2. the general concept of being back to life 16 years later and getting using to that new world around him

so, first of all, what i find really interesting, is that upon seeing sizhui's clothing pattern, wei wuxian remembers, of course, lan wangji. but the thing is, being just back to life, his last memory from being alive is him falling down the cliff with lan wangji's face fading while the distance grows. that is not what he remembers. his memory goes back to the very first moment they met, the moment before literally anything happened, including all the things that went wrong.

because think about it. even tho i'm going here by the live-action canon, if we go back just a little bit to the novel canon, wei wuxian doesn't actually remember lan wangji fighting by his side in that final battle. when he comes back to life, he believes that he's remembered as the terrible yiling laozu by everybody. and that includes lan wangji. by the end of wei wuxian life he became everything that lan wangji warned him about, and everything he said he wouldn't become. so he believes that if lan wangji would find out that he's back to life, it wouldn't make him happy (oh how wrong he is)

when wei wuxian sees lan sect juniors for the first time, there seems to be a bit of hope - "is *he* also here?" but later we find out, that he doesn't actually want lwj to be here, cause he thinks that their meeting will not look like a friendly reunion (it will look like a very romantic reunion, but that happens later). and i think that when he has that small flashback to their very first meetings, the sadness that overcomes him is caused by the realization of that enormous gap between them when they just met and them after all the terrible things that happened. wei wuxian wants to see his old friend, a person who once at least tried to believe in him, who is also still alive, which can't be said about a lot of people he knew, but there is this huge barrier that he believes cannot be crossed. and he crossed that point of no return himself in his previous life, and he is now undeserving of lan wangji's trust and friendship.

and that's of course isn't true. but there is a difference between what we know, what lan wangji thinks and what wei wuxian believes and remembers.

there is no smooth transition i can think of to get to the second point, so here we are. 16 years. 16 years is a lot. it's a whole fucking life. a human can be almost fully formed in that time period (which is perfectly represented by both fully grown up sizhui and jin ling, who, when wwx died, was a one month old baby) in 16 years a lot can happen to a person. a person can grow to change their whole world view, their believe system, some of their principles, become comfortable with their identity and finally figure out what they want from life. a person can grow from a child to an adult, who's carefully and patiently initiating a plan they've been cultivating for years, while playing a role and hiding their true face from everybody. a person can take their enormous grief, their rage, their pain and direct it all towards achieving their goals, actually fulfilling the impossible, while managing to raise a child and not completely ruin them from the inside, but actually letting the child know that he's loved and safe.

and then wei wuxian who died 16 years ago before any of that happened, comes back to this world full of people he used to once know. but he doesn't anymore. and we can see it in everything, from little details to big very important conversations. the most obvious is him trying to play and flirt with lan wangji the ways he used to when they were teens, and being so confused by lwj's reaction. because lwj grew past that so long ago, while wwx just didn't have a chance to get this out of his system. that part is him getting to know lwj again, from the beginning, because he meets a new man. but at least with lwj, wwx is willing to get to know him and lwj is willing to let him do that.

then there is jiang cheng. there was always a certain level of misunderstanding between yunmeng bros, but at the same time, wei wuxian used to know jiang cheng pretty well. when jiang cheng was upset or something was going wrong home, with his parents, wwx mostly knew what to do or what to say or how to distract him and make light of the situation. he used to be able to look jiang cheng in the eyes and lie, and jiang cheng would believe that. and when wei wuxian comes back, he thinks it's the same jiang cheng. but the thing is, it's not. jiang cheng grew in not the most healthy ways, but he still grew up. there are so many moments, where instead of making the light of the situation, wei wuxian's actions escalate it. it's both jc just being a new person and wwx not knowing anymore how to act around him. the most important scenes showcasing that are lotus pier fight and the conversation in the temple.

there is also nhs, who's fooling everybody around him easily because he always did. even if it was just about school work. but isn't it fucking sad, that he's fooling even he's best friend. wwx isn't really surprised in the end, of course, when we find out that nhs has been behind all these deeds, but still he doesn't really suspect him. like at all, if i recall correctly? and they used to be on the same page of fooling everybody to think that these two boys are just some lazy fools. they're clearly not on the same page anymore.

wwx comes back to the world full of people who look like people he used to know or remind him of people he used to know, but they aren't them. meanwhile he didn't have the time to grow or change or just have some peace. wherever he's been while being dead, he was just out of it. his path of growing and figuring himself out stars with him coming back. but he's years behind. and with someone like lan wangji, we know that he's willing wait and he gives him space and he gives him love and home and warmth. but then, for example, jiang cheng's frustration is visible in the air, because he had years to overthink everything went wrong again and again, and wei wuxian comes back and it seems like he just want to ignore and leave "the past in the past" and it's infuriating for someone who couldn't let go of it all for 16 years. but it's understandable for someone who just came back and now the weight of everything they did multiplied by 16 years is suddenly being thrown at them.

and he has to get to know all these people from the beggining, if they will be willing to get to know each other at all. and the growth, that getting to know himself, it's a journey he has to take on his own. that's why i'm such a big fan of that trip he takes in the end by the way. but still it's a trip he takes alone, and there are still huge chunks of life he missed. and he will never get them back. he missed all those years when sizhui and jin ling were growing up. and it will always be there. they will be sharing their childhood stories with him, and the lack of wwx in their lives will be so obvious. he will continue to learn new things about lwj, about his old friends, about the world, because it's been so long, and it will be noticeable that he was not there.

i would say that all the characters of their generation (that survived) are lonely in their own way. but for wei wuxian it's the loneliness of being dead and just completely not present on the lives of his loved ones.

i don't know where i'm going with it now, so i think i will just stop here and maybe come back to you 6 weeks later with another terribly messy emotional take influenced by me drinking alcohol.

[pine-lark]

soup (Caged, Whumptober Day 4)

Whumptober comes a lil bit early today. Here it is: the aforementioned, infamous ‘soup drabble’. Be aware of a lack of editing, haha. I’m very impatient and I wanna air the other piece I wrote last night that goes with this. Enjoy some really, really angsty comfort. 

CW: tiny!whumpee, tiny!caretaker kind of, mention of self-harm as a coping mechanism/out of boredom/to distract from pain, food, (nonsexual) forced nudity, torture (...Arion is forced to straddle a bar for. Awhile. Nonsexual. Just really really painful.) Implied withholding of food and starvation, neglect, caged, mention of systematic hunting of tinies for their wings. 

They had to put tape over his hands, this time, to keep him from scratching himself, from making his own wrists bleed. It was the only thing Arion could do to distract himself from the pain, the only thing to keep him from going insane all alone, with nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to talk to in the cage. And now Arion can’t have even that. They’d kicked him once they saw the blood, and Andras pinned him down with his boot, while they wrapped his hands together with a square of big, dull, silver tape from Heston’s drawer.

And now he’s alone again. The others are gone. A part of him is horribly grateful that they’re out, hunting for new victims, for new arivies Heston can mutilate and sell. Part of him hopes they don’t find anyone. Part of him hopes that they do, and that one survives the saw, and that they will become Heston’s favorite toy. Arion hates that part of himself. But it’s the only morsel of hope that he can hold onto… so he does.

They hadn’t always made him stay in the cage like this. They used to just tie him, for the first few weeks after he was taken from the tree, over a year ago.

The cage was a red, decorative candleholder, originally, so right in the center was a raised circle and a sharp protruding spike to mount a candle.  It was too short, too thin to tie him to without an easy escape, so right from the beginning Heston had welded a small angled, L-shaped rod over the top of the spike in the shape of a T to keep the twine from slipping off when lifted.

And then-young and naïve little Arion saw something that looked like an opportunity, and he took it. Untying the rope hadn’t been that hard. He ran. Or, tried to. He didn’t make it far. Not even out of the garage. They’d dragged him right back to the cage, slammed him against the sharp metal bars, and tied him again. Differently, that time.

“I think we need to teach little birdie here a lesson, though. I’ve got a funny idea.”

That was over a year ago.

Now, even still, long after he’s been broken and long after he stopped trying to fight it, stopped trying to run, stopped clawing through the ropes, it’s the same rule, the same funny idea. He straddles the crooked angle bar, with his feet barely unable to touch the ground. Unless tied there, and they do. They do tie his feet, to a weight. His heels shouldn’t be able to touch the ground but they do and it hurts but there’s nothing he can do, nothing he can do but wait for mercy. Every night, every morning, whenever they’re gone, he waits to be let go.

There’s no more tying for his hands, now, though-- this day being the only exception, with the tape. They don’t even lock the door. They know he won’t run. Couldn’t, even if he wanted to. He can barely move after so many hours of sitting there, can’t even stir his legs, let alone try to climb off. Someone always has to lift him. And often, they forget to. Or… they don’t care.

They only left a little while ago, but Arion’s been here since dawn. It will be a painful wait, today.

After so long, after sitting over a sharp metal angle for hours, everything becomes numb and unfeeling. The hurt dulls to a low unrelenting hum. Still, it hurts, and he can’t take his mind off it, can’t think about anything else. Arion draws a long, shallow breath, and he tries to wipe away the mess of tears over his face with a shoulder.

Small footsteps come from the other side of the desk, out of his line of sight until they round the corner. Arion tenses. His stomach flips. He thought… he thought they all left.

Someone steps up to the cage door, pushes it open.

It’s Ven.

Arion notices he hesitates before stepping in. He sees the discomfort flick across his gaze, the same way it does with Andras and Kai. They all hate the cage, except Damon, and he’s never figured out why. And next to the discomfort, Arion thinks, maybe, he sees a little trace of sympathy in Ven’s eyes. But it could have easily been a trick of the light.

Ven sets something down that Arion can’t see, and then he moves closer.

Arion flinches. His breath picks up, his heart starts racing, mind goes blurry. His head shakes wildly, pleadingly. “D-don-don’t, don’t, please, please, I’m, please, please don’t, don’t-I-I, I’m, ‘m, ‘m so, tired,” he begs, voice breaking, panic sinking into his gut like sharp poison. He keens, eying Ven with wild fear, frantic dread. He can barely talk, barely form words over tears and uneven breath and his raw, scratchy throat. “Please, don’t h-h-ur-ur, hur, hurt me, please, please don’t, d, nh, hn, pl-“

“It’s alright,” Ven murmurs. It’s sudden.

Arion’s breath hitches and he quiets, and for a moment, he stops breathing.

He nears Arion, sinks to his knees without a word, and unties the weight from Arion’s bleeding ankles. “I won’t hurt you,” he says. He stands, briefly looks Arion in the eye. “I’m gonna help you off of this now, alright?”

Arion swallows hard, pushes away the whiplash of emotion and braces himself for the moment when the weight shifts and all the feeling comes flooding back, when all the pain that was building up crashes into him anew.

Arms snake over his torso. But they’re gentle.

“On three. One, two-“

A harsh metallic taste meets Arion’s tongue when he bites it, when his breath hitches after Ven lifts him up and over the bar. He’s set carefully on the floor, on his side, which he’s grateful for. Heaving, heavy breaths take his mind off the horribly searing pain, but don’t ease it. Eyes screwed tightly shut, Arion presses his face into the cold metal floor of the cage. He fights the sniffling and his wobbling lips, wills himself to keep it together.

A soft voice comes from over his head. “Better?”

Arion gives a small nod. A small squeak of a timid thank you catches in his throat. He hears Ven shift to stand and then he’s walking back toward the door, but only to pick up what he’d set down when he came in. It’s a little bowl, Arion realizes. A little wooden bowl. A bit of steam wafts from the top and Arion’s mouth waters. Of course, it’s not for him, he knows. Couldn’t be.

That’s what each of the others were given before they left. Arion hasn’t earned one. Hasn’t been hurt this morning yet, so he can’t be fed. Those are- those are the rules.

That’s what he thinks even as Ven comes back to him with the soup in hand, even as he sits down next to Arion and holds it up to him. “Here, um. I want you to have this,” he says.

Arion’s eyes gloss over in unbelief and hesitant gratitude. He glances up at Ven, checks his expression, checks for any hint of malice or trickery, and he finds none.

“You need it more than I do,” he murmurs. “But, um. I can’t. I can’t take the tape from your hands. I’m- I would. But they’d, they’d be worse to you, if I did.” Ven pauses. Arion can see he’s genuinely apologetic. He’s seen flickers of that in Ven before. But it’s never been like this. “I can… I can help you, though, if you’re okay with that? I don’t. I’m not going to make you eat out of the bowl like, like an animal.”

Arion stares at him, bewildered. There’s a question, there. A choice.

Arion’s starving. He nods.

With that, Ven sets the bow aside. He helps Arion sit up, lets him lean on him to stay upright. Ven brings one of his black wings around him, partly to keep Arion from falling, and partly in respect, to cover him.

Then he brings the bowl into his hands, whispers one more thing to him. “Don’t feel like you have to drink it all at once. Nice and slow, okay? It’ll be easier to keep down that way.” As an afterthought, he adds, “It’s not going anywhere, I promise.” Arion nods without taking his teary eyes off the food. Ven tips the bowl to his lips, then, without any demand, without force, and just lets him drink. Lets him lean against his shoulder, and take the only food he’s been allowed to have in nearly a week.

---

tagging: @whumping-every-day​​, @deluxewhump​​, @sola-whumping​​ @haro-whumps, @inaridriscoll, @much-ado-about-whumping ,@whatwasmyprevioususername, @kiretto-laorentze​​ (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!)

[ceescedasticity]

outline: jin guangyao’s hoarding problem, part 1

I am STILL NOT WRITING THIS.

Cast:

Jin Guangyao, schemer extraordinaire. He’s got a lot on his plate right now, scheming for the Jin Sect’s advancement, scheming for his personal advancement within the Jin Sect, trying to get Qin Cangye to let him marry his daughter, trying to juggle his sworn brothers, wrangling weird 13-year-old Mo Xuanyu who his father dropped on him as some sort of power play, wrangling Xue Yang insofar as it is possible to do so, promoting research into demonic cultivation, and on and on and on. Jin Guangyao, as no one will ever let him forget, was not born rich; he understands that you can’t just go throwing things out when you might want them again later; and in this universe he’s let that reluctance to discard outweigh his caution.

Wen Ning, conscious fierce corpse. Keeping Wen Ning was always the plan, even when plans to control him didn’t quite work out. Because he’s a really good conscious fierce corpse. Maybe they’ll work out controlling him someday. Maybe he’ll be good as an example. They went to a fair amount of trouble faking his destruction, so no sense wasting that. (Wen Ning, for his part, is… not happy. Even when they’re not trying to control him, he is not happy. But he is not making trouble if he can avoid it, because…)

Wen Qing, really outstanding doctor. Jin Guangyao cannot understand why his father was planning to execute her – she’s such a good doctor! Groundbreaking! Sure, she has some inconvenient morals, but she’s simple enough to leverage, just grab some family members – Wen Ruohan kept her in line for years. Why would Jin Guangshan not try to obtain such a valuable resource? It’s probably because when he looks at a woman he stops after the boobs. Anyway, now Jin Guangyao has the opportunity, and it’s easier to fake her death than Wen Ning’s (just have to kill a heavily bruised woman in Wen robes, rather than something that passes for a fierce corpse). She can be kept in line just by threatening Wen Ning’s non-life as the stick, and for a carrot, taking the nails out of his head when they’re not actively experimenting. (Wen Qing is sick to her stomach. Although not everything she’s been required to do is bad–)

(Off stage, but alive, is Jiang Yanli. Jin Guangyao likes her more than he likes most of the Jin Sect, he didn’t want her dead – and whisking her away to a mystery doctor who saved her life means Jiang Wanyin owes him. Big. —He doesn't want her angling for any kind of power/regency after Jin Guangshan dies, so he's been making sure there are plenty of rumors that she's physically and mentally fragile, and his leverage over Yunmeng Jiang is better with her in Jinlintai so he's angling to maintain that, too, but unlike that other idea he's not blackmailing her. This is probably a mistake.)

Wei Wuxian, Yiling Laozu. Smuggled back to Jinlintai at least half dead, and really wanted to get all the way there. Didn’t really change his mind on that until after he got conscious enough to process that (a) Wen Qing and Wen Ning were alive(ish), and might be punished if Wen Qing couldn’t save him; (b) Jiang Yanli is alive, but in Jinlintai, which means not safe. Even after he’s trying, though, he’s in for a long convalescence – especially without a core. (Which Jin Guangyao has figured out and, worse, figured out the reason for.) Wei Wuxian is claiming he couldn’t possibly recreate the Stygian Tiger Seal outside the Burial Grounds and/or without all the pieces and/or while he’s still so weak. The last one is true, the others are… not completely false? He certainly couldn't make it like it was before.

Mo Xuanyu, weird 13-year-old. Inexplicably if usefully devoted to Jin Guangyao. Jin Guangyao doesn’t trust him to do more than some very basic reading on demonic cultivation, but when the secret prison acquired the gravely wounded Wei Wuxian it became important to have someone other than Xue Yang checking on things, refreshing supplies, and getting Jin Guangyao immediately if necessary. Mo Xuanyu also likes Wei Wuxian, and Wen Qing, and Wen Ning, and (for some reason) Xue Yang. Not enough to impact his devotion to Jin Guangyao, though.

Xue Yang, spite elemental. (This Xue Yang has never worked for Wen Ruohan – I may keep the Yin Iron in this universe mashup, it just had no particular connection to Xue Yang.) Half feral (at least). Demonic cultivation natural talent. Delighted to have the opportunity to independently recreate the Stygian Tiger Seal, not that it stops him badgering Wei Wuxian for tips. Big fan of “better to ask forgiveness than permission”. No, that’s not it. Big fan of “better to say ‘yeah, I did it, what are you gonna do about it?’ than ask permission.”

WQ, WN, and WWX are full-time imprisoned in some sort of secret dungeon/basement/hidden complex in Carp Tower. MXY and XY are in and out a lot. JGY less so because he has a busy schedule.

So, moving forward:

Wen Qing is trying to keep WWX alive. WWX is cooperating halfheartedly.

Xue Yang is trying to recreate the Stygian Tiger Seal. WWX is cooperating hundredthheartedly.

JGY picks up that WWX is not being entirely sincere in his cooperation. He decides to show that his threats have teeth, in a very mild way. He plays some 'healing music' for JYL.

JYL has a bad week.

WWX becomes somewhat more cooperative.

(JYL is aware enough of her own body and mind and has enough of an ear for music to say — extremely politely, and not implying (or suspecting!) any malice — that she thinks JGY may need a little more practice.)

(JGY decides he needs to be a little more conservative with his use of the Collection of Turmoil, and maybe, say, not teach any bits of it to people who are not definitely on his side, no matter how innocent and gullible he thinks they are.)

(Nie Sect's trip to the Sword Hall can't be said to go well by any stretch of the imagination, but it's not an almost-TPK either. No one unwittingly kills or spiritually poisons anyone they love. It doesn't make much difference in the timetable of NMJ's decline, really. It doesn't make as much of a difference as you might expect in the timetable of NHS Figuring Shit Out, later on. It does make a difference in the experience level and cohesiveness of Nie Sect's inner-ring disciples. It does make a difference in NHS's emotional health and support structure. It may in fact make a difference in whether JGY is going to get out of all this alive. But that's later.)

When the reconstructed Seal is mostly complete, Xue Yang takes off to Yueyang to "test" it. He may or may not have informed JGY first. Let's go with 'not' (not out of any concern that he'd disapprove, Xue Yang just doesn't want to bother).

So here's the thing. The Seal is not a loyal tool. Insofar as it has a consciousness and feelings it's kind of pissed off at WWX anyway. But he is still its original creator, and this time he's alive, and this time he was extorted into helping reconstruct it, and this time — unlike when he was forging it the first time — revenge doesn't even really make the motivation list, so it's not quite the same reconstructed Seal. It's not a benevolent tool. It doesn't like people. It doesn't want to help people. It doesn't have principles. If Xue Yang just stood outside and ordered fierce corpses to slaughter everyone in the Chang compound, the Seal would have cooperated eagerly.

But obviously Xue Yang isn't about to just stand outside, he goes in and gets his hands dirty, and when he tries to use the Seal to directly, personally attack a child, something goes… sideways. There's an explosion which blows a large hole in the side of the house. Some of the corpses attack Xue Yang. The Seal levitates six meters up into the air and won't come down until grabbed. It's very annoying. Xue Yang makes sure there's no one with a golden core left and sets the building on fire and leaves in a very bad mood.

There are only like a dozen survivors total, no adult cultivators, and the one surviving kid who saw him is too young to give any kind of useful witness statement, but still.

He goes back to the basement and blames WWX for the unsatisfactory performance of the Seal. WWX's response of "Good" didn't deescalate things any, but he probably would have gotten the shit kicked out of him regardless.

Someone interrupts before he can actually beat WWX to death (which had better not have been WWX's plan, says WQ). Right. No core, already seriously injured. Xue Yang gets Wen Qing, who has to do surgery for flail chest. Xue Yang makes a surprisingly good surgical assistant.

JGY gets back from wherever he was (Qinghe playing fake!Clarity? Laoling trying to get a date?) and is like. I was gone for two days.

Xue Yang does not deny almost accidentally killing the only available Yiling Laozu, but blames it on WWX being too fragile due to being coreless and injured.

Maybe if we gave him someone else's core he would be sturdier?

Jin Guangyao doesn't immediately shoot it down. Wen Qing tries to — WWX would never survive the procedure in his current condition, and the donor has to be willing, does JGY really want to sacrifice someone loyal for this questionable gamble?

No, he doesn't. At least not right now.

Xue Yang says he's taking time off. JGY tells him not to get caught.

He gets caught.

Trial, commutation, official imprisonment, and now Xue Yang is stuck in the basement with the others basically full-time. He's seriously trying to convince Wen Qing to teach him surgery. She's appalled, but on the other hand would surgical skills make him any more dangerous than he already is? And it keeps him from sticking nails in Wen Ning's head.

While she's distracted Wei Wuxian is trying and failing to convince Wen Ning and/or Mo Xuanyu that he is recovered enough from the flail chest to walk around. He is failing.

Jin Guangyao is spending a lot of time in Qinghe…

[anarchist-soupkitchen]

ooop its a really long essay

A brief list of why the Tories is pretty rubbish

 Before we start, I have a few things to say. As this is intended for UK audiences it might be a little difficult for people outside of the UK to understand the wording of certain topics, I will include somethings that need more explanation up here but if I do not include it here, please feel free to ask down in the comments.

Tory: someone who is a part of the conservative right

Anglicanism: the English church’s version of Christianity

This essay is a PERSUASIVE ESSAY this means its BIASED I hope you could tell from the title. This essay is from the view of someone who is white I am not trying to speak over people of colour on issue like race and I encourage you to look at non-white creators within the UK to get views on this matter.

I am pretty armature when it comes to my writing so do not expect something ground-breaking. And with that out of the way, let us begin.

1.       The tory party we know today was founded in 1834, you would think that would be plenty of time for its members to grow and shape the party into the best organization it can be. But with the tory party still stuck on the same ideas that Anglicanism is the only true religion, and that queer people should not have rights you would think that the party is straight out of the early 20th century, or still stuck on the same ideas the party was founded upon. It does not matter what side you are on and how your choice to view the tory party, people can agree on the prominent figures inside the tory party from old to recent. An example of a prominent tory of old was Winston Churchill a well know racist who also, coincidentally got us through WW2 when he was appointed by Chamberlin. He fostered such views that white people should govern over the “primitive” black and indigenous people of Africa and that Indian people “bred like rabbits”. To anyone who knows their UK history, 1983 was a very eventually year for politics and the UK as a whole. You now have to wear seatbelts in the front seats of cars, the dismembered victims of serial killer Dennis Nielsen are found in his London flat, unemployment was on a record heigh since the 1930’s and a general election found that Margaret Thacher was to be the next prime minister after a landslide win in the polls. Over the course of her 11-year reign of terror she periodised free-market capitalism and privatised public sectors including transport, railways and mines. Then because she did not like the Scottish government, she through a hissy fit and closed all mines in Scotland. Just like that she fucked up the economy, where in the big mining areas of the past are still experiencing the aftershocks today. I remember my granny telling me how she made up food packages for the miners around town and how it was so devastating to the town’s economy. Everyone was unemployed and starving, even my grandad. These examples really show that the Tories will support people who are the worst in British society if they have the parties’ interests at heart. You would think the tory party cannot get any worse but with modern polices such as pledging to get 50,000 nurses for the NHS while only giving them a 1% pay rise, which is only £7.78 for a low band nurse, by 2023. Or being “tough on crime” even though 96.4 crime were recorded by every 1000 people in 2019. You can see how tough they are about carrying out their polices. Let me tell you my favourite of the lot, Boris Johnston, our current PM, wants to limit immigration by 100,000 people. They want to only let in “the brightest and the best,” what a load of shite. Our immigrants are the backbone of our society doing everything people like the Tories would not even dream of doing. Imagen seeing Boris working in a McDonalds or in your local call centre. That fucker probably has not worked a day in his life. According to the migration observatory, migrants make up 50% of the low pay workforce. Either way you look at it, its abysmal. The government should do more for these people that letting them rot in a McDonalds or in a low paying job. If you have taken time to be a model citizen, train and get your qualifications, possibly learn a new langue to mover over to a shitty wet rock I do not see any problem with the government providing necessities to get you started in your new life. We have got the money.

2.       Can I ask you, what side do you think Boris Johnson is on? I will let you think for a moment. The Working class makes up more than half of our population according to the BBC’s class calculator. They say that a government is reflective of the people’s views and I think that is bullshit. Out of the working-class eligible to vote, who do vote, only three in ten vote conservatives. Do you want to know why people in the working class do not vote tory? Because under tory leadership since 2010, 6000,000 more children and their families were forced into poverty. The need for foodbanks skyrocketed 12.3% in the last five years and that is no even accounting for the pandemic. It is clear by now; I have given you enough time to think. “we know whose side Boris Johnson is on- the billionaires, the bankers and the big business.”- labour shadow chancellor, John McDonell. We know the conservatives are very busy committing acts of voter suppression and giving money to their friends instead of caring about you. They are buzzy introducing laws that make it mandatory to have voter ID in order to vote. If you do not make it free people will stop coming. The electoral commissions think 3.5 million voters just will not come back. this is all a part of, “takle[ing] every aspect of electoral fraud”- tory manifesto. It is well known that many rich people have been investing in the party for quite a while. Here is just a few: Anthony Bamford head of machinery in JCB, he gave £12.1 million since 2005. Charles Cayzer owns a shipping tycoon, he gave £480,00. Did you also know, Boris is known to be very generous when it comes to giving back. You’ve probably herd in the news about the conservatives handing out £3mil in contracts to tory owned covid PPE companies over the course of the pandemic. Some of that went to a MP, Nadim Zahawi who is a shareholder in SThree. SThree was given £1mil in contracts over the course of the pandemic. With all the evidence I have given above you’d think the government its rolling in it, I suspect they are but I doesn’t look like it from the outside. They have cut funding to courses drastically, as well as benefit schemes. Like cutting access for eighteen- to twenty-year-olds to the housing benefits. Yet with all the money they been cutting away from services and councils who desperately need it they still have enough money to cough up a commission for a royal yacht named after the duke of Edinburgh, costing over £200 million. Seems sweet does it, name a yacht after the ghoul of Edinburgh, right? You probably know the just of it now, your wrong. Not only is the yacht being paid for by taxpayers, but they are also naming it in honour after a racist. Or how the BBC would phrase his words as “memorable one-liners”. Here is a selection I find quite fitting: “The Philippines must be half empty if you’re all here running the NHS”- while meeting with a Filipino nurse. “If you stay here much longer, you’ll be all slitty-eyed”- he said to a group of British students while on a royal visit to China. My favourite must be “It looks like it was put in by an Indian.”- referring to and old-fashioned fuse box in Edinburgh. He is supposed to be the duke of the bloody place! I really like how one article what I read put it “[Prince Philip] screams out loud what other racists like him have learned how to conceal and camouflage in what they think and project as civilised demeanour.”- Hamid Dabashi.

3.       What I find absolutely astounding, is the Tories inability to show compassion to the people who have nothing. If you did not know the vagrancy act among other things crimeless the homeless and rough sleepers, which is by far a very bad mixture with the recent homelessness statistics, homelessness has risen 28% since labour was last in office and if the Tories continue down the path they are now, it is only going to keep rising. What you would find is most shocking is that there’s solutions for the homeless crisis right in front of us, what the Tories must to not be able to see. Layla Moran of the liberal democrats thinks they “must take a more compassionate and holistic approach, starting by scrapping the vagrancy act”. I think that would be a step forward and away from the old ways of prosecuting people for not being as fortunate as the rest of us, but there is something even more simple than that. Repossessing the 200,000 buildings that have been vacant in the UK for more than six months. Not only would that put a sizeable dent in the houses we need, but it also saves space. The UK is small collection of islands and I do not think the Tories can see that. We do not have the land available to just start building everywhere while leaving all those homes empty and unfilled. Its not a way to solve the housing crisis and its certainly not a way to save the money we supposedly need. Even the homes the Tories are building are left dormant because they are too expensive for the area, they are located in. With the way things are going the Tories will have to build more houses than they ever built before, because by 2041 homelessness is expected to doble. That is 400,000 more households if things do not change -a study by heriot-wat university. The evidence suggests that whatever the Tories are doing to end homelessness it is not working. Everything is not as bleak as I just told you though, the conservative has ended homelessness before. In the hight of the pandemic the conservatives got 90% of all rough sleepers off the streets and put them in hotels or hostels. This helped people apply for benefits, find jobs and get some more permanent assistance. People was helped during the pandemic, but when the funding ran out last July, homeless and the rough sleepers in the hotels and hostels where back out in the streets again. Alone and forgotten by the government that promised to end the very crisis they are apart of years ago. Theis shows that the Tories have the money to help the unfortune but they would rather sit on their arses chatting about what colour they should paint the walls of their house. More recently the Torie introduced a law what will fine people for sleeping in doorways. It really shows what the Tories care about, getting linings for their pockets. The Tories have the money to stop homelessness and when it was a danger to them, they stopped the issue what has been so recuing in our politics for decades. They helped the people who so desperately needed it only to chuck them back into the cold when covid-19 was no longer a danger to them.

4.       The conservatives fail to keep minorities safe in the society that they created. It is not surprise that the Tories are the most incompetent as ever. A study by BBC radio 5 found that hate crimes have doubled since 2013. An optimist would assume that is great, that there must mean that people have been reporting it more, right? Partly so. Although we have seen a rise in reports of hate crimes, the rate of prosecution has dropped down from 20% to just 8%. And that is just the tip of the iceberg, in a survey of faith-based organizations; the home office found that seven in ten of the employees surveyed has never reported a hate crime to the police where one happened. For a country where we are supposed to be the most tolerable it is no surprise that a big portion of the hate crimes committed are ones where the religion the victim followed played a big part. Our population, like many others, is influenced by our politicians. After Boris described Muslim women in burkas as “letterboxes” in an interview; citizen UK found that there where a surge in hate crime directed to Muslim women where the word “letterbox” was used. Again, continuing with the theme of hate crime against religions, Muslims made up half of the statistics in 2018 – 2019. The biggest spike we have seen in the last few years has been to Jewish people, where hate crimes against them have more since doubled. It is not a surprise since people seem to relate being a ‘good’ Jew to being a Zionist. Other minorities like trans youth under sixteen in England and whales now must go through everything that goes with puberty on top of not wanting to have the body you cuntly have all because TERF’s and conservatives do not think puberty blockers should be available to them.  At this point I genuinely think they want trans kids dead, how could you not see that the benefits of puberty blockers far out way the potential consequences. If puberty blockers really where the target they would have taken them of the shelfs completely, but they did not do that did they? They just restricted the rights of an already marginalised group more. Its not just trans kids but the fight for a third gender to finally get recognised is still waging on despite it being a battle since 2018. The government petition has been signed 136,000 times demanding non-binary finally be recognised as a valid gender in the eyes of the law. I hope I can get recognised as well as everyone else. It may not seem a big deal to some of you reading this but it is to thousands. Especially the people who want to go on hormones and medically transition. Because right now I and many other people are restricted and not allowed to get that service. If you are in the UK and you are of age, I urge you to signs the government petition. In other news the conservatives are just now getting to outlawing conversion therapy three years after they announced they would do so. It just shows how the party is not on target. On the topic of not on target let us talk about the increasing number of racial minorities becoming homeless because of lack of funding to their communities. Since the conservatives got into power in the 2010 racial minorities now make up 40% of all homeless despite being only 15% of the current population. It really shows how much they care about anyone who is not white. Yet people like my gran will continue to say they are doing enough for these underfunded communities.

the tory party really has nothing going for them, they are certainly not for the working class, they cannot solve homelessness and they do not give two fucks about minorities. To think anyone would vote form them is just amazing. Its fucking stupid to believe that they are anything but a bunch of rich shites dawdling around and thinking up ways to get more money into their pockets. To end this really all over the place essay, if you vote tory you are a massive twat.

Sources in comments:

[amethystshipper]

I was scrolling through my dash, as one does, and saw .gifs of the scene where the juniors are defending WWX to Sect leader Yao, and I was just smiling and thinking “ah, the kids are all right this time, it will be better”. And then I realized that ... the kids were all right the previous generation, too? And it would have been so easy to see them band together, especially after everything?

Hear me out. In essence, there’s no difference between the juniors and the ... OG juniors. (We need a name for them. Is there a name for that generation??? Cause we have the parents, and we have the juniors, what are WWX&co named??? Whatever, I’m sticking with OG juniors.) Each of these groups went through shitty situations, the OGs arguably through worse with the war and all. But before the war, we have 2 major bonding moments: the Cloud Recesses classes, and the Wen indoctrination. What if they actually bonded together, and their relationships were more flushed out? (Keep in mind I only saw the live-action drama, so that’s what I’m basing everything on.)

So, Cloud Recesses. You have the Jiangs, and then NSH, LWJ, WN and WQ added to the group, more or less willingly. JZX is still being a little bitch, but whatever, he’s there too, along with MianMian, who is arguably his biggest contribution. I will admit, there are ... levels ... of closeness. But you have the three gremlins getting together, and LWJ pulled in (again, levels), you have star-struck WN and tough WQ (who, need I remind you, took care of JYL at least once, which I bet the latter will not forget). You have LQR spitting blood because the boy is definitely his mother’s son, but LXC smiling indulgently, seeing his little brother finally make friends. (And LQR will remember that CSR was mischief made human form, and her son definitely follows in her footsteps, but both of them wanted always to help and not destroy, so there is definitely something wrong with the accusations that WWX wants to take over the world. And LXC will remember the Wen boy who stayed behind to save one of their own, and the Wei boy who dived in to help them both, and will not believe the grim tales of the fierce Ghost General and the Yiling Patriarch.)

After CR, WWX/LWJ/JC/NHS have their little murder adventure, with a WQ cameo.  LWJ is added to the gremlin dynamic and sure, he might not feel like he fits in at first, but WWX cannot seem to stay away from him, and he suffers in silence with JC while WWX is being an idiot and risking his life, omg, stop that, get down you demented cat, and then finds that there’s a certain bond little brothers with big brothers larger-than-life have, and maybe having two more friends is. Acceptable. They’re all supposed to be 15-16 at this point, teenage boys that started this adventure fully confident, at least on the outside. And then Xue Yang happens. And this is, I think, one of the biggest turning point for these four. Because, to a certain degree, all of them rely on rules. Their own, if nothing else. And here is a guy who just ... wants to see the world burn. He kills with no remorse, admits it gleefully, and is just awful in so many ways. This is their first brush with how brutal the outside world is, when they start to doubt themselves and their convictions. But then! XXC and SL appear, and it’s a breath of fresh air! Because there are terrible people and worse situations, but as long as they hold fast in their beliefs and work together and trust eachother, they can beat them!

So they go to the Unclean Realm, and they meet Daddy NMJ. And he’s been watching them approach, and he sees his little brother laughing with the boy in black, he sees him cackling while the one in purple is swinging his fists around; he sees him share a smile with Xichen’s little brother while the other two are laughing so hard they’re bent over so far they’re almost falling to the ground. And he doesn’t show it, because the Red Blade Master is gruff, and tough, and mighty, but in his heart he’s already adopted these kids who include his baby brother in their circle with so much ease, it’s hard to imagine him on the outside. (And in the future, when people are yelling about WWX’s darkness, this is the image he will have in his head: four boys being innocent and happy and his, how dare you try to touch them?!)

Cloud Recesses burns. LXC is nowhere. And then. The biggest paradigm shift - the indoctrination. Everyone arrives in Nightless City. The three OG gremlins watch LWJ back to his jade statue default, they lose their swords, they are on the same side with JZX and WWX/JC don’t know which one of these frustrates them more. It should be the looming war. It’s probably the JZX part. Now, I assume they spend at least a few weeks there, I don’t remember if it’s mentioned. But WWX always tried to get in front, to catch WC’s attention. (Because he’s the disposable one, right? High enough in status that WC is satisfied when he gets to punish him, but not a sect heir, not someone who will bring down a whole sect if he dies. Little does he know.) So don’t tell me that the others don’t rally around him. (Discreetly of course. They learn fast that he just gets more protective if others are hurt because of him.) There’s nothing stronger than a common enemy, and the Wens and WC, specifically, are definitely that. So they watch, and they remember WWX being beaten, whipped, humiliated, all so that others will not be. Not to mention that one night that he doesn’t tell even JC about, because it would crush his little brother to know he couldn’t keep his promise. They remember him staying behind so that they have a chance to escape the murder turtle. (And after the war, when the adults will try to damn WWX for being too arrogant and too prideful, the OG juniors will remember the kid who stood up to the Wen clan and has the scars to prove it, and all to protect them. Where was Jin Guangshan? Where was Sect leader Yao?)

Lotus pier burns. WWX disappears. JC and LWJ look for him for 3 months. And then. And then he comes back. And he burns the Sun to the ground, using dark cultivation and corpses and no sword, and everything that they were taught not to do, ever. And he succeeds where everyone else fails.

Afterwards, when the dust settles but not really, when life comes back to normal but not quite, when things become too boring apparently, the young ones see their elders muttering. And gossip. And look a bit too much at WWX, too closely. But this was a generation forged in the fires of war. They were not like their parents, who had time to figure out their shit and then go to battle, no. They were kids when it all started. There are no more kids amongst them now.

So when the minor sect leaders, subtly encouraged by JGS and JGY, talk about the “young” LC being a leader at such a young age with honeyed words that hide rot, NMJ and LXC rise to his defense. Both of them became sect leaders at young ages, both of them know how hard it is. LQR rises as well and the older ones expect him to be on their side, but they forget LQR got entrusted with a clan and 2 children that he was not supposed to have, so he will never demean another who was in an even worse position, but rose to the occasion despite everything that happened. The Lans promote knowledge and learning above all, and many people can learn a lot from Sandu Shengshou, wouldn’t you agree Sect leader Yao?

When the Jin sect complains about the Stygian Tiger Seal, rumors begin to spread from behind hand painted fans that they are after the artifacts of other sects. After all, does WWX not belong to YungmengJiang? Therefore, do his creations not belong to the sect as well? Who’s to say they won’t go after the treasures of the other sects next?

When JYL destroys Jin Zixun at Phoenix Mountain, JZX steps up to the plate and stands behind his fiancee. WWX is obviously her little brother that she cares deeply about, he will be his future brother-in-law, and honestly Zixun where were you even during the war?? You have demands now because?? Go shoot some arrows and chill. (JC is just standing there with crossed arms, looking at Jin Zixun without blinking, keeping a tight grip over Zidian who is the definition of  “lemme at him!!!” Jiejie doesn’t like it when he slices and dices people, although she’s not leaving much for him to chew on. It’s the most fun he’s had in years.)

When JGY sweetly suggest that there might be a viper poised to strike them in the back, NHS innocently asks “but San-Ge, didn’t your blow to WRH’s back help us win the war?” (NMJ has never loved his brother more than when he roasts JGY. Really, he could cry with pride. Here, A-Sang, there’s that fan you wanted. I ordered new birdcages to be build back home, you can have all the birds you want. Training is ... postponed.)

When news about the labor camps and the slaughtered Wens are revealed, many stay silent. A few of them cheer. But there are also a few that remember a boy willing to save someone from drowning, willing to risk his life to save the dead bodies of two parents. They remember the best doctor of their generation helping them heal, and rest, and save their loved ones. They remember that they are not the only children who were taken by this war, that they were not the only ones forced to make awful choices that haunt their dreams. They remember that it’s easy to stand back, but yet there was always one who stood up for the others, who would stand up for them, so how can they not stand with him now when he most need it?

WWX is not alone. The YungmengJiang clan is not alone. These kids went through hell and back in the past couple of years, and they will be damned if they will let another rise in WRH’s place. This ends now.

[cinemaocd]

The Mirror and the Light raises more questions than it answers

Going into The Mirror and the Light, the third and necessarily final book in Hilary Mantel’s Thomas Cromwell trilogy, the basic plot wasn’t much in doubt. Thomas Cromwell would rise. Thomas Cromwell would fall. In the summer of 1540 he would be executed. Along the way his son would get married, while he remained single, despite wide-spread speculation that he was angling after the King’s daughter Mary Tudor. Those who Cromwell promoted would be raised as well and some would remain loyal while others would betray him. Cromwell’s fall would come some time after Henry VIII’s unsuccessful marriage to Anne of Cleves, and his role in promoting that marriage would play some part in his downfall. Cromwell’s past interactions with his two most powerful enemies, Stephen Gardiner and the Duke of Norfolk, would also have some bearing on his downfall, since they were the main figures behind his arrest.

These are the undisputed big historical facts that Mantel had to work with, or in many cases, work around. There were many other smaller facts that she had to play with as well, some of which appear in the book as delightful asides like Cromwell putting a neighbor’s house on rollers in order to settle a boundary dispute, or Cromwell importing beavers to control the streams and rivers of England. There was also some evidence that Cromwell had an illegitimate daughter, born sometime after his wife’s death. Mantel massages the timeline to make this fit into her backstory of original characters from the first two books, and cleverly ties the daughter to the seemingly random charge in his arrest that he “sheltered Anabaptists.”

Of course Mantel created a whole plot, a series of original characters, and interpretations of historical figures and events for the first two books. They were fiction, after all. Like any good writer (and Mantel is an excellent writer, always in control of her material), she left questions unanswered to hook readers into the third book. If you were expecting these plots to be tidily resolved, you will be disappointed in The Mirror and the Light. The book fails to resolve many questions, creates more plot threads and then leaves those loose as well. Does that mean the book isn’t successful? I would argue that it is precisely because she fails to resolve these puzzles and questions, that Mantel manages to walk the knife edge between genre fiction and literature with a big “L.” She is certainly aware that these characters have all been the main actors in romance novels and murder mysteries as well as history plays. Indeed that is the subtext of almost every movement of plot within the novels.

While Wolf Hall seemed to be a conversation with playwright Robert Bolt about the veracity of A Man for All Seasons, which made Thomas More the hero and Cromwell the villain; this last installment seems to be deeply concerned with T.S. Eliot’s Murder in the Cathedral, about the murder of Thomas Becket at the hands of Henry II. Cromwell digs up Becket’s bones at their resting place in Canterbury, tears down statues of Becket and even keeps the supposed remains of the martyr in his house, in case the king changes his mind. He  considers commissioning a play that shows what a terrible person Becket was for disobeying his king and bowing to Rome. Henry II was excommunicated, and Mantel dwells on the possibility that if the current Henry suffers the same fate, the whole nation could be lost to invaders given free reign by the pope to do their worst to the heretics. This is one of the reasons Cromwell is so eager to align England with Lutheran princes via the marriage with Cleves. But of course, Cromwell, as always, has half a dozen reasons for everything he does.

Eliot celebrates Becket as a champion of the separation of powers of church and state, a founding principal of modern democracies and one which was much threatened during the time Eliot wrote the play, 1935, with fascism on the rise in Europe. Of course it does not take a rocket scientist or even a political scientist to put two and two together with our own times. Cromwell would be anti-Brexit, pro NHS and anti austerity. Yet, he would also be the kind of neo-liberal who would be quietly feathering his own nest, profiting from selling off National Trust properties all the while making speeches about the enduring greatness of the British monarchy. For every eerily prescient passage about the plague and it’s random destructive path through society, there is a reminder of just how foreign a country the past is: Cromwell--a becon of rationality and enlightenment--believes the source of his fever is a snake he held in Italy. For every kindly head of an English department who is inspired by Cromwell’s leadership, there is a despicable grotesque like Steve Bannon who admires Cromwell’s ability to seize both religious and political power who sees himself, like “self made” white men everywhere, the victim of the elitism that Cromwell faced. 

But these are questions for people who get their essays in front of more eyeballs than I ever will. What do I, the Cromwell fanatic think of the new book?

I think die hard fans of the first two books will be generally pleased with this installment. We get so much more Cromwell than ever before. We are moving more slowly through his life and we are, with exception of a few enlightening flashbacks, solidly in the company of the mature, sardonic, earthy man that we we got to know in Bring Up the Bodies. In short, Cromwell at fifty is a pure joy. Mantel as with the previous installments surrounds him with a crew of lively and memorable companions. From his son who has come into his own as Sassmaster of Austin Friars, to the irrepressible Christophe, who stays with Cromwell through his confinement and walks with him to his execution, cursing the king as Cromwell could not, I love everyone in this English Reformation. Even the bad guys like Norfolk and Gardiner remain fresh. Mantel uses them thriftily, lest we tire of their antics, so that when Cromwell is blindsided by an Easter dinner with Gardiner and Norfolk it is one of the highlights of the book.

As we move closer to his doom, Cromwell has flashes of his fate, but the history fan, or even just the person who has made a close reading of Cromwell’s wikipedia entry, can see it collapsing all around him. Yet, miraculously he never wears out his welcome as other iterations of the character do. As much as I enjoyed James Frain’s Cromwell early in The Tudors his characterization gets more shrill as the story moves forward to the point where his execution is almost a relief. Cromwell is a convenient villain because so many of the facts of his life actually support that conclusion. Mantel used every trick in the book from making him the victim of child abuse, to giving Cromwell a love of animals and children to humanize him in the first two books. In the third she sharpens all of these tools, even as she readies Cromwell to make that last journey from the tower.

In the first two books, there are a number of tropes that are quite worn and flimsy. For example, the idea that it was Cromwell selected the group of petty noblemen executed with Anne Boleyn because they once participated in a masquerade mocking his former master, Cardinal Wolsey. The men were guilty of something to be sure: a kind of greedy, entitled, elitist malice, but not the crimes for which they were executed. It is a weak premise really, but Mantel made it work because of the way she showed the working of Cromwell’s mind, and the way in which she brought the reader so thoroughly into his schemes. By the time you realize that you have been spending time with a mass murderer you are so under his spell that you begin to question the entire premise of narrative fiction. Can any narrator be relied upon? Is there any such thing as a villain or a hero? Are there not elements of both in every person? Can’t the guilt for all of this blood really be laid at the feet of the often childish monarch in whose name all of this happened? Where does personal responsibility begin and end in the midst of atrocity?

All of these larger questions are floating around in the background of The Mirror and the Light and as Cromwell focuses in on the grim task of disemboweling England’s religious houses for personal and political gain, you wonder what price all of this is going to have on his soul. In Wolf Hall, Cromwell fell into a fever, (probably malaria--which had a basis in historical fact) after he managed More’s execution. Though More’s death should be seen as political triumph for him, he views it as a personal failure. Cromwell does not like saints who don’t behave like rational men. He likes men like Geoffrey Pole, who he interrogates in The Mirror and the Light. Pole gives in easily to intimidation, talks a blue streak and is pardoned and released. Cromwell suffers another bout of the fever--which he believes will ultimately take his life-- after bringing down the last and largest religious house in England, the nunnery at Shaftesbury. Now it is true that Cardinal Wolsey had an illegitimate daughter who was housed there, but Mantel takes that fact and weaves into the fabric of her story. Again it is a flimsy premise and again it works because it is surrounded by unassailable bulwark that is Cromwell’s character. Cromwell arrives at Shaftesbury with the vague plan of trying to do something for the Cardinal’s daughter before he turns her out of her home. He winds up disastrously proposing marriage to her in an almost comical scene, a proposal which she rejects with such venom that he weeps for only the second time in three books. This is a man who has lost his entire family, suffered deeply all through his childhood and adolescence and yet this is only the second time he weeps? It’s not quite logical, and like the masquerade plot, it feels all a bit creaky, yet we believe it because Cromwell.

Wolsey’s daughter also accuses Cromwell of poisoning Wolsey, a rumor which has touched Cromwell’s ears earlier in the book, from the dying lips of another bastard child, this time The Duke of Richmond, the illegitimate son of Henry VIII. The injustice of the accusation drives Cromwell’s grief more than the girl’s rejection and he becomes haunted by the idea of who is spreading this rumor. While it could be any of Cromwell’s numerous enemies, it is never fully resolved. On second or third read of this or the other books, we might find the clues that Mantel hid in the story. Similarly multiple readings of the first two books reveal clues as to who terrorized Anne Boleyn by leaving her hate mail, setting her bed on fire and murdering her dog. Mantel has not exactly solved that mystery but she puts the probable solution into the mouth of one of her least trustworthy characters, Lady Jane Rochford, the wife of the late George Boleyn. If Cromwell believes her, he doesn’t say. We are left to decide for ourselves.

In the end, Cromwell’s bout of grief-driven malaria does contribute to his downfall, as he misses a crucial session of parliament, in which Stephen Gardiner forced through a series of laws meant to reverse the Reformation. Cromwell has to stand by and watch friends and fellows in the struggle to create a bible in English, burned at the stake.  In Wolf Hall, Mantel says that a “blacksmith creates his own tools,” meaning that Cromwell created the very laws which he used to take down Katherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn. The blacksmith imagery pays off in the final chapter of the last book, when we are reminded of Cromwell’s childhood nickname “put an edge on it” when he spies the dull instrument with which is to be executed. In The Mirror and the Light, the blacksmith is left at the mercy of his own tools. Unable to find proof of Cromwell’s heresy as a religious dissenter, Gardiner uses the law that Cromwell created to prevent any of Henry’s heirs marrying without the king’s permission. He takes idle gossip started by Cromwell’s oldest frenemy Eustace Chapuys, that Cromwell is planning to marry the Lady Mary Tudor, and uses it to fabricate the evidence used in Cromwell’s arrest. He uses the exact methods that Cromwell used to bring down Anne Boleyn: spin a rumor into fact while using the king’s momentary dissatisfaction as the window of opportunity to make ordinary ambition look treasonous.  

The scenes with Mary are both heartbreaking and hilarious, as are many of the scenes with other possible, past marriage candidates such as Bess and Jane Seymour. Just as Cromwell’s relationship with frequent correspondents Stephen Vaughn flavored the earlier books, Cromwell’s relationship with Thomas Wyatt is the closest thing to a romance that Cromwell has in The Mirror and the Light. Cromwell’s seemingly irrational loyalty to Wyatt is explained away by a deathbed promise to Wyatt’s father (there is also a convenient deathbed promise to Katherine of Aragon retconned into this book to explain the lengths he goes to to save Mary Tudor from father’s wrath). Another flimsy trope that works because of the strength of Mantel’s characterization. 

In prose that is frequently breathtaking and always interesting, Mantel saves some of her best stuff for describing the relationship between Cromwell and the king. If his friendship with the poet Wyatt is like that of a lover, his strange entanglement with Henry is like that of a spouse. In one scene Cromwell and Henry fall asleep together on a sofa. The intimacy is heartbreaking, partly because we know how it will end. When Cromwell is in his most pitched delirium of fever he realizes that Henry will use him up and spit him out. When he recovers himself, he writes The Book of Henry --treasonous advice to some imagined future privy councilor. Even if he does not consciously acknowledge  that Henry will kill him, as he has his other spouses, his fever self, his true self, seems to realize it.

[robininthelabyrinth]

This one's gonna take two asks, I'm incapable of making it more succinct. In Accurate description NHS said "I’m taking you back with me to the Nie sect when all this is over. If your parents want you back, they can come ask nicely.” Could we get that AU? And the Jiangs HAVE to ask nicely, because with the war on the horizon they can't risk alienating the Nies, but they are so bad at it? NHS's half assed plan to poach JC gets more and more solid the longer he has to watch this train wreck.(1/2)

How hard can it be to love your own flesh and blood? Even NMJ has stopped admonishing him for wanting to poach another sect's heir. What a political nightmare that would be. But JC is so relaxed with NHS's birds? And keeping up longer and longer when training with da-ge? And smiling more? And JYL said, she's never seen him so loose in the shoulders? NHS can make this work. JFM and YZY never valued JC anyway 

Part 2 of Accurate Description (necessary to read that first)

-

“Absolutely not,” was the first thing Nie Huaisang’s brother said when Nie Huaisang first raised the idea of kidnapping Jiang Cheng for his own good. “Absolutely fucking not.”

“Nie sect principle three,” Nie Huaisang said.

“Well, shit,” his brother said.

This was because Nie Huaisang’s brother is the best.

“I’ve gotten other people involved in this,” Nie Huaisang added helpfully.

“You’d better have,” his brother said. “I am not dealing with the fallout from this on my own.”

Nie Huaisang nodded happily. That was about what he’d expected.

A few moments later, his brother asked, “Why are we kidnapping him, anyway?”

-

“This is temporary,” Nie Mingjue said gruffly.

“Very temporary,” Jiang Cheng agreed, sounding stiff and awkward. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“You know exactly why you’re here,” Nie Huaisang objected. “I told you why!”

Jiang Cheng gave him a dirty look.

“Also I have no idea how da-ge got you here, but you’re staying,” Nie Huaisang said firmly. “For as long as it takes for your parents to show that they deserve you returning to them. You’re not getting a choice.”

Jiang Cheng’s face was turning red.

“That’s not the deal, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue interjected. “Jiang Wanyin can return home at any time he wishes.”

Nie Huaisang glared, but his brother ignored him.

“He can also stay as long as he wishes,” he said, and this time it was Jiang Cheng’s turn to stare. “If you want others to respect him, you must first pay him the respect he deserves yourself. Now, I have to go, but Jiang Wanyin – know that our home is always open to you.”

He put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, then ruffled Nie Huaisang’s hair, and left.

Jiang Cheng looked dazed.

Nie Huaisang smirked.

“…you said something about him giving out hugs?”

“Oh yeah,” Nie Huaisang said. “Great hugs.”

-

“I can’t believe you would betray me like this,” Nie Huaisang whined. “And after all I’ve done for you!”

“A little training’s not going to kill you,” Jiang Cheng said. “Come on already.”

“My brother put you up to this, didn’t he? You sold me out for a hug.”

“I sold you out for the opportunity to go on a proper night-hunt,” Jiang Cheng said. “Also, he said he was proud of the progress I’ve been making on my cultivation and sword training since I got here. And gave me a hug.”

Nie Huaisang grumbled but conceded that his brother was especially difficult to resist when he was in full big brother mode. If he wasn’t, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have been nearly so willing to give up the neat new sword he’d found in the Xuanwu’s cave and store it down in their saber halls until his brother and Baxia could figure out how to suppress it - he hadn’t even realized it was full of resentful energy at first, and he still thought it was especially aesthetic.

“Besides, if you don’t practice something soon, he’ll come after you himself,” Jiang Cheng said. “Wouldn’t you rather train with me?”

“No. You’re just as crazy as he is.”

Jiang Cheng looked disturbingly complimented.

“I’ll come look at your birds later,” he offered.

“You’d do that anyway,” Nie Huaisang said. “You love my birds.”

Jiang Cheng did, too. Nearly as much as he loved all the feral cats that roamed the walls of the Unclean Realm, every single one of which seemed to have immediately pegged him as a soft touch and come nosing around for treats – Nie Huaisang had never seen Jiang Cheng look so calm and peaceful as when he had a cat under his palm.

It really put into perspective how stressed he looked the rest of the time.

“Oh, all right,” he groaned, and Jiang Cheng beamed. “Just know that I hate you.”

“Same to you, Nie-gongzi,” Jiang Cheng said, completely insincere. “Same to you.”

-

“You know, I’m surprised my parents haven’t shown up to demand me back yet,” Jiang Cheng said over lunch one day. “It’s not – it’s not a problem. It’s only – I thought – Mother at least –”

“Oh, they’re demanding all right,” Nie Huaisang sniggered.

“…Nie Huaisang, what have you done,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Conspired, that’s what,” Nie Mingjue said. “I don’t know if I should thank you for discovering my brother’s sole talent, namely for scheming and conspiracies, or to blame you for it, Wanyin – but you do have very loyal friends.”

Jiang Cheng blinked.

“Well, first your parents went to Lanling,” Nie Huaisang explained. “On account of Jin Zixuan and Mianmian very obviously sneaking food around and buying all sorts of things that you would like before smuggling them – very poorly and obviously, mind you – into Jinlin Tower, and of course they were also overheard talking about something that sounded an awful lot like ‘Wanyin’; everyone assumed they were hiding you. Turns out they weren’t, of course; it was just a stray dog they’d named something with similar tones. Not their fault everyone got the wrong idea!”

Jiang Cheng’s eye twitched.

“And then, of course, they went to Gusu, on account of Lan Wangji telling everyone you were his sworn brother –”

“His what?!”

“Well, close enough. On account of how you saved his life.”

“I did not!”

“I thought I heard something about how you carried him on your back as you fled from the Xuanwu’s cave and the Wen sect’s ambushes, when he was exhausted and could not walk,” Nie Mingjue said mildly, and Jiang Cheng spluttered. “Had I heard wrongly?”

“…well, no…but...”

“Of course, you weren’t at Gusu,” Nie Huaisang continued, ignoring them both. “Though there were some heavy implications for a little while that you’d gone off with Lan-gongzi –”

“Isn’t he missing?”

Nie Mingjue coughed and looked down at his plate.

“And none of you said anything?” Jiang Cheng asked, looking between them. “At any point? Did you just, what, not talk to them?”

“I have spoken with your parents several times since they have started looking for you,” Nie Mingjue said, and his voice was suddenly hot with roiling anger. “I have concluded that Huaisang had a point regarding the necessity of their learning how to ask for your return.”

Jiang Cheng blinked.

“Your parents are jerks,” Nie Huaisang volunteered. “And you deserve better.”

“Yes, thank you,” Jiang Cheng said, a little strangled. “I think I – got that.”

“Good.”

-

“It’s just, my jiejie –”

“Supports you being here. She sent you a care package. It’s in your room.”

“…Wei Wuxian –”

“Sent a note along with the package. Says to keep up the good work.”

“How did you even get something like that?!”

“I have my ways.”

-

Nie Huaisang was staring blankly at the wall when Jiang Cheng walked in and did a double take.

“Okay,” he said to Nie Mingjue, sitting patiently nearby with a letter in his hands. “You broke him. How?”

“He just discovered that he inadvertently saved a great deal of lives,” Nie Mingjue said. “As did you, by agreeing to come here.”

“I only agreed to come here because you lied and told me it was necessary to help defend my sect,” Jiang Cheng grumbled, clearly not meaning it.

Nie Huaisang let out a high-pitched and somewhat hysterical giggle.

“It was,” Nie MIngjue said solemnly, offering him the letter. “It appears that Wen Chao was given permission to attack and crush the Jiang sect, but has been delaying in anticipation of your return on account of wanting to deal with all of you at once. The delay allowed our spies time to discover his plans, and to carry warnings to your parents. They were thus able to fortify the Lotus Pier’s defenses against invasion, and to hold it off until aid could arrive – which they wouldn’t have managed if he’d attacked at once, as he would have if you’d been there.”

Jiang Cheng stared.

“Would you like to sit down and stare at the wall?” Nie Mingjue offered kindly.

“…yes please.”

-

“How’d you convince him to let me come here, anyway?” Jiang Cheng asked Nie Huaisang as he packed up his things. He was finally heading back to the Lotus Pier, albeit only long enough to collect soldiers and come back to join what they’d started calling the Sunshot Campaign – his parents had finally figured out where he was and sent word that had, in the view of the Nie, just barely qualified as sufficient to get some leeway.

Lan Wangji was waiting in the hallway to escort him there, and he’d sworn to Nie Huaisang that he would not allow either of Jiang Cheng’s parents to say anything untoward while they were there. He’d looked very serious while he said it, too, which pleased Nie Huaisang to no end and made Jiang Cheng look more than a bit nervous.

“You’re only asking that now?” Nie Huaisang asked, amused.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “You going to tell me or not?”

“It was easy,” he said. “I just invoked Nie sect principle three.”

“…what’s that?”

“‘A fire burns all the same’,” Nie Huaisang said. “Variously interpreted as: ‘Treat your neighbor’s harm as your own’, ‘Do not stand idly by as your neighbor bleeds’, or ‘Indifference to evil is equivalent to evil’.”

Jiang Cheng stared.

“How about ‘if you see someone who needs you, you have an obligation to act’?”

Jiang Cheng blinked. “Okay,” he said. “And?”

“And what?”

“And what else did you say? You convinced him to literally kidnap the heir of another Great Sect; I can’t believe that you accomplished that simply by saying ‘hey principle three applies here, let’s do this’.”

“Maybe I did,” Nie Huaisang sniffed.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Fine, keep your secrets. I’ll get them out of you one day.”

“Maybe you will,” Nie Huaisang said.

-

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said. “If I wanted to keep Jiang Cheng permanently, what principle would I have to invoke for that?”

“Nineteen.”

“Nineteen?” Nie Huaisang frowned. “But, da-ge, principle nineteen is the one about marriage – oooooooh.”

[theuntamedproject]

"If the face says nothing, listen to the heartbeat" - Lan WangJi, Mo Dao Zu Shi (Weeks 3+4)

https://zhtheuntamedprojec.wixsite.com/theuntamedproject 

... those who have read the novel know the real context of this line in the scene BUT taken out of context and used in a completely different (*cough* our) scenario..."If the face says nothing," translates to "Even if we seem calm on the outside,""listen to the heartbeat." translates to "we're so stressed to the point of ventricular fibrillation." (dunno if that's even a likely story but the overly exaggerated point still stands: we just handed our uni applications in and we're dreading admission tests and awaiting interviews...)

Quick overview

So aside from school work and university prep, TUP has taken up whatever spare moment either one of us has. However since Zara's Physics coursework began (good luck Zara!!) and both of us prepping for our respective admissions tests, we've decided instead of marching onwards with research on architecture and other food science related stuff, to settle on more relaxed Google seshes on MDZS (and totally not using this as an excuse to read the source text again) and beginning to design the buildings on CAD and paper.

So I'm going to introduce to you the barebones framework of what we plan to include in the design: characters, buildings and effects~ apologies in advance for not including the accents/tones in names (I cba tbh ;-; )

Characters

Because all these little dudes are just going to be cut out gingerbread men, we could include as many characters as possible (we did say we're making a universe are we not?). Those in italics are "maybe" characters depending on the dough remaining (or whether we like them to be part of the universe or not...) or how much gingerbread we're willing to eat ourselves (though huge shout out to everyone thats offered to eat our spare and broken gingerbread during materials testing - which I will get to a bit later :3)

Gusu Lan (the pretty sect)

Lan XiChen / Lan Huan (Sect Leader - simped so hard for his sworn brothers that both of them ended up dead)

Lan WangJi / Lan Zhan (repressed gay but we love him still)

Lan Yuan / Lan Sizhui (he's part of the Lan sect now goddamnit)

Lan JingYi (the most unLan Lan yet has the highest chance of being the next sect leader lmaoo)

Lan QiRen

Lan Yi / Lan An

QingHeng-Jun (Twin Jades' father)

Madam Lan (Twin Jades' mother)

Yunmeng Jiang (arguably the only "normal" sect here...)

Jiang Cheng / Jiang Wanyin (Sect Leader also an "angry grape" as put by Zara)

Jiang YanLi (OUR QUEEN)

Jiang FengMian (loved Wei Ying more than Jiang Cheng lol jk xd)

Yu ZiYuan (BAMF)

Wei Ying not included here since technically he defected from the Sect (; - ;)

Qinghe Nie (fans and sabers my bros)

Nie HuaiSang (Sect Leader - yeah, I can't believe it either)

Nie MingJue (noooooooooo)

Honestly, I swear this clan is either "big muscles or big brain?". If you have neither, you can't be part of their clique. I mean sect.

Lanling Jin (rich rich rich rich rich)

Jin Ling / Jin RuLan (Sect Leader - totally not named after Wei Ying's crush/ husband's family)

Jin GuangYao / Meng Yao (*smiles*)

Jin ZiXuan (peacock but JYL's husband nonetheless)

Jin GuangShan (gross)

Jin ZiXun (double gross)

Mo XuanYu (literally did not sign up to any of this. He just wanted to end his suffering at Mo Manor)

We decided against including everyone from Mo Manor since they literally died within the first few chapters of the novel / first episode of the drama so were kinda irrelevant. Also, we don't care about them like we care for the Lan Sect members either.

Off topic side rant, Zara has been on my case whenever I bring up Jin GuangYao. I have to say, he's way more lovable in the drama than in the novel (didn't really leave much of an impression on me in the novel, NHS did a better job at that). I'm here to briefly explain why this boy is misunderstood and deserved more than what he got (and also why you should love him because he deserves love).JGY is a poor soul who's goal in life was to please others because no one was ever satisfied with him. His mother wasn't satisfied. His father wasn't satisfied. Hell, even his sworn brother NMJ wasn't satisfied with him eventually. BUT GUESS WHAT Xichen the angel is the only person that showed any love or thanks to JGY that's why he didn't kill him in the end - he wouldn't kill people that actually cared about him. IF ONLY EVERYONE ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION TO HOW CLEVER AND CUNNING THIS MAN WAS, THERE MAY NOT EVEN BE WENS THREATENING THE WORLD. end of brief rant.

Qishan Wen (too hot, hot damn)

Wen RuoHan (Sect Leader - could have taken over the world if his children weren't incompetent)

Wen Qing (half the reason why included this sect)

Wen Ning / Wen QiongLin (the other half of the reason)

Wen Yuan (WE NEED THIS BABIE ALONGSIDE SIZHUI OK)

Wen Chao (questionable)

Wen ZhuLiu (also questionable but less annoying than Wen Chao)

Rogue cultivators (including people we didn't really know where to put)

Wei WuXian / Wei Ying (Can work out how to cultivate resentful energy, fight against the biggest cultivation clans in the world and gain a formidable reputation as the Yiling Patriarch yet can't figure out that Lan Zhan has a crush on him. Makes it look like cultivating resentful energy is easy as pie.)

CangSe SanRen (Wei Ying's mother)

Wei ChangZe (Wei Ying's father)

Xiao XingChen (honestly, the nicest guy ever. Could rival Xichen in terms of kindness. But then again... where did that kindness lead either of them? Moral of story: screw kindness)

Song Lan (Wen Ning's dead buddy~)

Xue Yang (he was cool in the novel, a bit questionable in the drama ngl)

A-Qing (didn't report her situation to the police...)

Baoshan Sanren (without knowledge of her existence, Jiang Cheng may have given up on life after he lost his golden core)

Ouyang ZiZhen (I didn't know who he was at all from the novel (ie he left no impression) but since he's technically part of the juniors, we have to include him)

Wang Ling Jiao / Jiao Jiao (just so Wen Chao has a friend perhaps... I don't know if we're that kind)

Su She (ew. just. He's not our favourite. The whole thing could have gone smoother if he didn't exist)

Luo Qingyang / Mian Mian (that one girl that made Wei Ying think Lan Zhan was straight)

Whew! That's all the character's we've considered! We have yet to come up with individual designs for the clothes and what not but at least we know there are going to be straight up cutting them out using the gingerbread man cutters.

Also! let's not forget:

Li'l Apple (didn't sign up for any of this either)

Fairy (gift from JGY to JL, also good doggo)

All the bunnies in Gusu (yes.)

All the fans and sabers in Qinghe (it's part of their aesthetic)

Locations and Buildings

This section's going to be MUCH shorter than the previous one haha since we've basically come up with 5 main buildings and in 7 locations. We're planning these buildings to be architectural masterpieces (okay, that's a slight exaggeration but that's the point). These buildings will take SIGNIFICANTLY more time than the gingerbread characters and is the reason we've put so much effort into researching what would make the most stable type of building. This is because we've planned to mirror the buildings as close as possible to the drama. We haven't yet drawn 2D sketches as I've left that job mostly to Zara (sorry!) so it's sort of hard to describe in words but by next post, we hope to have these down~ (though please see the mood boards from Zara's post previously)~

Gusu Lan - Cloud Recesses

The Wall of Discipline

The Courtyard

The Orchid Room (the main classroom/hall)

Yunmeng Jiang - Lotus Pier

The Main Pier

Lotus Pod Lake

Qinghe Nie - The Unclean Realm

The Main Courtyard and stairs

Lanling Jin - Koi Tower

Koi Tower

Qishan Wen - Nightless City

Main building and stairs

Yiling - Burial Grounds

The Mountains (and farms/Wen settlements)

Demon-Slaughtering Cave

And of course, Yi City.

We don't know if we want to include any more places but we'll let you know if there are any changes to this list. Plus the effects of LEDs and other arts and craft jazz besides gingerbread, we plan to make sure each Sect get's their own spotlight~

Please enjoy our baby Cloud Recesses, they're going to grow up and be a fine specimen of society worthy of the Lan name :D

The plan going forward

Although unfortunately, things haven't gone totally to plan due to fairly busy circumstances, we still have some major events along the way before starting to build the whole thing (which would probably be around mid-to-end of December) which have indeed started preparing for. Including:

Material testing gingerbread and icing (ie finally, bringing our research to the real world) - a lot of gingerbread will be made, so thank you to the willing volunteers who wanted to eat our failed experiments!

Finding / creating a suitable recipe for the gingerbread people

2D and 3D sketches of the buildings

Designing costumes for the gingerbread people

Another thing that we kinda want to do is to make this project benefit the wider community (we wanted to set up a GoFundMe at some point and raise some money for charity~). But we don't know how to do that as of yet T-T . Any ideas, feel free to contact us and let us know! We want to help others through this project (if at all possible haha)!

[elven-ariaera]

Read the New Leaf Diaries first here!

Start from NH Diaries part 1: Permanent Island Getaway

Day 7

Kitt moved in this morning. It felt so good to have her back in my life. I did not realize how nostalgic I would get already, but no matter what, I am sticking with my plan to move forward. Citytown is behind me, and Islandtown is my future.

I got a free tee-shirt in the mail from Dodo Airlines. Audie didn’t seem to care much about it and gave me a lecture on fashion. I guess she does know what she’s talking about. Maybe I should pawn it off on some poor unsuspecting fool…

Until then, all I can do is think about my life choices while wearing this dumb dodo shirt…

That night a terrifying thing happened. A tarantula appeared and tried to get Audie! Luckily for her, I had a bug net in hand. I crept up next to the little sucker and swiped my net! …Only to miss and get bitten by the arachnid. Luckily she dragged me back to my house and all was well again. 

You know, that’s a reoccurrence that I could never quite figure out. Whenever I am bitten by a spider or stung by bees to the point of passing out, I always wind up back in my home. Who is taking me there? Is that you, Antonio? 

Day 8

I caught a Whale Shark! I thought about doing a little more fishing after my excellent finds two nights ago and my word I’ve done it again! Sure it was the most ridiculously heavy thing I’ve ever had to reel in — I’m surprised the line didn’t snap — but I did it!

I brought it to Blathers to give it a nice new home in the museum. Let me tell you, finding a plastic baggie big enough to bring it in was its own challenge. He told me some interesting tidbits about the gentle giant. Learning can be fun sometimes!

Is that an actual option?

I had also been working on a garden for a while now and I must say it is really coming along! I’m so pleased… That’s it. There’s no punchline. Not everything in life is a joke! Can’t I just have a moment of serenity for once in my life?

Oh, I had nearly forgotten! Stitches finally moved in! I’m not sure why he was the last one to move in when I asked him first, but I guess he had a lot of things to unpack. I visited him to welcome him to the neighborhood as he unpacked and he was very persistent about cleaning the back left corner of his home… Even though the entire floor was coated in dirt.

In other news, Audie and I have continued to bond and I’ve learned some things about her. She might not be as innocent as I initially thought…

I didn’t realize you played Smash Bros too!

But then we got to chatting about movies and it turns out she’s writing one. A rock-opera to be exact. While I was genuinely interested, its plot was a little hard to follow…

Really, all the neighbors and I have been getting along rather well. I jumped in on a conversation between Bud and Kitt, though, and it seems they have rather opposite tastes. Literally.

All these wacky shenanigans that go on in this town, I swear, it’d make for some kind of sitcom. I actually just received a cartoonist set from Kitt earlier, perhaps I’ll try my hand at it sometime. For now, these journals will have to suffice.

Day 9

I had gotten a new room expansion for my house the other day and it seems that word spread quickly! Audie has been dying to come over and see the place since the first day, but now she has sort of been inviting herself over. 

It’s not that I don’t want her over, she’s easily become my best friend of all the island’s residents that live here. I simply want to gussy up the place before she comes. Still, she remains persistent… Is this what Antonio felt like about my persistence? 

…Man, what a great feeling to be loved and admired so much.

I headed over to check in on Stitches today seeing as he was still new to island life. He seems to be progressing rather quickly and is already doing stuff.

On another note, he keeps insisting that he has bug friends who live inside the floor and whisper things to him while he sleeps. Should I be concerned? 

Mabel dropped by today to set up shop in the town plaza. I always enjoy her selection of clothing to pick from. She’s also quite the trooper — It rained practically all day today, and still, she stood outside waiting for potential customers. I do think I was the only one though…

She just stands there… Menacingly!

Later that night Audie insisted on coming over again. I did explain to her that I was waiting for the renovations on my new room aka extension walk-in closet to be finished before anyone saw, and she seemed to understand, so we went back to her place to chat for a while. I found it a little ironic that she didn’t want me to snoop around her house yet she kept trying to persuade me to invite her over to my house… Does she have a secret shrine of me? 

…That would be so sweet! She’s the best friend I ever had!

We later went on a late-night stroll and things got real. I told her about my previous fishing escapades and she kept freaking out. It seems she has a severe case of ichthyophobia. 

Day 10

The resident’s hall was under construction and they have now finished and revealed the new and improved plaza. It looks magnificent! Nook had even gotten new help from off-island. He hired Isabelle, my assistant from back home. I guess Citytown isn’t doing so hot without me… 

Now I have no quarrel with Isabelle under normal circumstances, but I can’t help but feel that Nook is trying to replace me. I am your island representative, not her! Don’t you dare get any ideas…

Ugh, Isabelle, you make it so hard to hate you when you act so precious!

Anyway, it’s clear that I’m still the favorite of the residents. Stitches came by and gave me a house-warming gift even though he was the one who just moved in… Still, it was much appreciated.

I dropped by the town hall today to carry on business as usual, but of course, Tom Nook just had to rave about what a great help Isabelle would be. I mean, sure, she did let me change the flag because of my magnificent artistic potential, but that doesn’t change anything! I’ve got my eye on you, Isabelle…

Btw, the flag looks fabulous. 

Other business included the construction of a suspension bridge. Of course, most of that money was coming out of my pocket, but still, if it could save me from a pole-vaulting accident, I’d gladly pay the majority.

I decided to look for more resources to sell off-island and the dodo’s brought me to a wonderful place. They brought me to an island filled with rare hybrid colored cosmos growing all over! It was truly a sight to behold! My garden would look absolutely stunning with some of these added in the variety! Why haven’t these dodo-brains ever brought me here before? Oh…

In addition, I think my talk with Audie yesterday night helped her overcome her fear of fish. But I still don’t think she understands how fishing works…

Day 11

I still needed to make some money for that suspension bridge, so I thought a little bug catching and tree shaking would do the trick. Kitt called out to me, asking if I was having a fun time bug catching. She then apologized for assuming, and though she did assume correctly, I appreciate her earnest apology. 

We also opened a campsite today! To think, the future resident of my town would soon be here! Nook was very persistent about persuading people to settle down here, and I couldn’t agree more. I wonder what kind of animal they would be? I wonder if maybe… No. Certainly he wouldn’t be there…

Enough stressing myself out over the thought of my future resident. I also took another mystery flight from Dodo Airlines to see what magnificent isle they might bring me to today. Yesterdays “Hybrid Island,” as I am thoughtfully dubbing it, was a sight to behold. How could they ever top that?

In short, they didn’t. They brought me to an island where every fish in the river was a black bass. Every. Single. One.

I hate you all…

As awful as that experience was, I had to be grateful that the ocean fish were not all sea basses. Ugh. I shudder at the very thought of such a place even existing. Still, I complained to their manager. I had already booked a Nook Miles Ticket in advance, so their flight tomorrow had better be good!

All the neighbors today kept stressing out about the Happy Home Designers committee and I just couldn’t understand why. They give you nice presents if you do a good job decorating your home, right? Well, when speaking to Audie, she presented it to me in a whole different way. I’ll never look at the Happy Home community the same way again…

A friend of mine had invited me and another chum over to his island later that evening. It was a delightful night filled with picnics and hide-and-go-seek.

I also met someone. Roald. His eyes were so striking, I could not look away. With that and his chiseled features, one could easily… No. Stop it. You are a one-anteater kind of woman! Someday he’ll come back. I know he will. Until then, I must resist the sweet temptations of this gorgeous hunk of penguin. 

Oh, you lift? I can tell…

Day 12

Today’s the day~

We have a guest at the campsite! Oh, I can’t wait to meet them! I’m so excited that I had to write about it the first minute I got up today! This lucky fellow isn’t even aware that they’re going to be our future resident! Ooo, I’m so excited! I have to go! I’ll write more when I get back tonight!

I don’t want to talk about it. Ugh, but I have to vent somewhere, don’t I?

Our guest today was Graham, the hamster. Ugh. I do not like Graham. Why? He’s such a wannabe poser! He claims he’s a celebrity and uses corny terms all the time. He greeted me by saying “Bonjourno!” and later exclaimed his excitement by shouting “Guten Tag!” First — that’s not even the same language as you were faking before, second, you’re not using that phrase properly! Don’t think I’m not onto you, hamster.

To make matters worse, he doesn’t even refer to me by my name. He just calls me “Hey, you!” Do you even know who I am, pal? I’m more a celebrity than you’ll ever be!

Ugh, after that nightmare finally ended (for now,) I needed a bit of joy in my life. Stitches was the perfect friend to brighten my day. But then I screwed that up too — I thought it would be cute to give him a stuffed Panda Bear, and then I remembered he is a stuffed bear. Oh, my dear sweet Stitches, I am so very sorry.

Then Gulliver washed up on my shore again. Even he is aware of my excess loads of free time so, of course, I had to help him…

I decided it was time to just take a breather and use that Nook Miles Ticket I had. I looked the pilot dead in the eyes before we took off and said, “I swear, if you bring me to black bass island one more time, it will be the last thing you ever do.” Needless to say, he brought me to Bell Rock island today. I went to the island with 5,000 bells and came home with 87,000. I am one satisfied customer.

By the way, how does that work? I understand when I chip away at a rock and things like stone or clay fall from it, but bells? Perhaps bells are actually a type of stone valued so much by the animal people it’s used as currency? You see, I could accept that, but the fact that sometimes it flies out of the rock wrapped in little bags, it just baffles me!

Well, with all my profits from that trip I managed to pay for another bridge. Audie and I were discussing how this would benefit us by not having to use the vaulting poles anymore.

Also, Kitt hurt my feelings today too. She said that my style was basic. She could see I was a bit upset by this, so she covered it up by saying she meant I wore basics well, but I knew what she really meant. I’m starting to remember why I let her move from Citytown…

Yeah, well, your hat doesn’t match your jacket!

Though this day was full of ups and downs, the final part of my story ends with the highest high one could feel. Later in the evening, I thought I should attempt to find the rumored Tarantula Island. I haven’t had any luck finding a specimen for the museum, so certainly I would be able to find one in a place literally named after the creature. But I did not find the island. However, what I found was even better. Love.

I got off the plane, and lo and behold, there he was. My precious, my darling — Antonio was there! I ran to his side, thrilled to see him, nearly jumping into his arms — but I controlled myself.

We talked and talked, catching up on life since we last saw each other. It turned out he was doing a survival training challenge, which is why he was out on the island. Typical Antonio. Still, his training was doing him wonders, ooh, those muscles!

He also noticed how much I have been toning myself as well, what with all this island hopping and hard labor Nook tasks me with.

He off-hand mentioned that he’d love to his island training full time, so I took the opportunity and asked him to move in with me— I mean, to Islandtown. After everything that had happened between us, I thought perhaps I came on a bit too strong, but he answered in the affirmative. Antonio, sweet, sweet, Antonio, is going to be part of my village once again!

Despite all the bad things that happened today, I can rest easy knowing my favorite animal is going to be with me.

Day 13

Graham was the first one to move in today, but Antonio will be here tomorrow! I’m so excited! Audie and I got together and talked about it all morning. It was funny because she was watching a romance movie the day before and had an inkling something special might happen!

But sadly, poor little Stitches was sick today! I immediately ran over when Kitt told me the news and brought him some medicine. He was feeling a lot better afterward, but I told him he should still rest inside for the day.

I proceeded from there to go to the Town Hall as Tom Nook had requested for my assistance — MY assistance, not Isabelle’s… Okay, Isabelle’s too. Ugh.

If you think for one second that I’m your task force you’ve got another thing coming…

Anyway, the two of them asked me to keep inviting new residents to live in our town. Easy enough! I knew plenty of people from back home who would love to live here! I called up my girl Whitney from back home and invited her to camp out with us here on the island. I figured we’d hang out a bit and then I’d ask her about moving in.

She was thrilled when I called her and came over immediately. We had such a good time catching up, it’s been so long! These past few days have been overwhelming me with emotion with so many familiar faces.

However, when I mentioned that Whitney should move to Islandtown, she didn’t say no, but she didn’t quite feel ready yet. I get it. Citytown is a great place. I mean, it’s less great now that I’m not mayor anymore, but it’s still pretty cool. I’ll invite her over again after she’s thought it over a bit.

Oh! With my garden doing so well, I decided to set up my own little flower shop right outside my house. I stood there for three hours today and not a single customer. Mabel, I applaud your patience and durability.

I was hoping to raise a bit of money through this stand to set up a bridge. You see, when I picked a spot for Antonio’s house to be, I didn’t realize he had no connection to the other parts of the island. It was imperative that I got this bridge funded and finished by tonight. Luckily I had some help from friends to donate enough bells for the project to be completed. It took a lot of hard work and a lot of fishing…

But it will all be worth it. Tomorrow, my prince charming moves to town. 

A Residents Representatives work is never done! With so many tasks to complete and more residents moving in, how will our solo human villager handle the heat? Read the New Leaf Diaries first here! Start from NH Diaries part 1: Permanent Island Getaway…

[siumerghe]

Some differences between the final and the older versions of Mo Dao Zu Shi

Recently I've been reading the older version of Mo Dao Zu Shi translated by https://qinghe-nie.tumblr.com/ and compiled a list of some differences between this and the final version. 

The list and my impressions about the older version are under the cut:

In Chapters 46 - 50:

- LWJ recognizes the headless corpse of NMJ himself, LXC isn’t present. - After arriving to Gusu WWX and LWJ set up for LXC and NHS (who is visiting LXC at the moment) a surprise meeting with the headless corpse of NMJ. They want to see their reaction, because they suspect them both. After LXC and NHS display only surprise and no fear, LWJ and WWX decide that LXC and NHS aren’t those who dismembered NMJ. - JGY is said to be a son of a prostitute and an apprentice of a thief. - NHS tells that JGY cried a lot at NMJ funeral. - WWX devises a plan how to expose JGY: to find the missing head, remove the amulets from it and let NMJ attack JGY in plain sight of all the cultivators. He tells this plan not only to LWJ, but to LXC and NHS as well. - JGY’s son was killed not by a rebel clan, but by an assassin. - JGY started to court Qin Su which made her fall for him. - WWX speculates that JGY would have never allowed the relationship between him and MXY to become “physical”. - WWX also mentions that same-sex relationships between men aren’t rare, but displaying such things on public is despised.

In WWX’s flashback inside NMJ head:

- The things that JGY’s fellow cultivators say behind his back are less offensive. - It’s said that JGY’s mother was from cultivators sect Meng. - JGS promised her a lot, so she hoped he would take her as a 2nd wife. - LXC and JGY don’t try to hide from NMJ that they know each other: NMJ doesn’t accidentally eavesdrop their conversation in LXC’s room - instead LXC starts speaking with JGY in front of NMJ. - It’s NMJ’s own initiative to write for JGY recommendation letters to Jin. - NMJ doesn’t force JGY to return to Jin to face trial and punishment after JGY kills his commander. Instead NMJ basically just tells JGY that he should repent and change his ways. Because of this there is no need for JGY to fake suicide. He returns to Jin together with NMJ but runs away during the night. - In Wen JGY hides his name and changes his appearance. - NMJ isn’t captured by the Wens because of the wrong info. Instead there is a very brief description how during the final showdown with WRH when NMJ is heavily injured he sees an assistant of WRH cutting his throat with a flexible sword. So there is no JGY and WRH interactions, JGY doesn’t kill Nie people, JGY doesn’t drag wounded NMJ away to meet with LXC, NMJ does’t try to kill JGY, LXC doesn't save him, etc. There is also no mention that JGY passed secret info to LXC. - It’s JGY who asks LXC to start playing the qi-calming melody for NMJ. - NMJ throws JGY down the stairs after JGY says that it’s time for NMJ to stop holding that murder of the commander against him. JGY doesn’t say that he is better than others and it doesn’t seem as if he intentionally tries to provoke NMJ. - JGY comes to NMJ to play him in the same evening, not after a couple of days. - JGY and NMJ don’t make peace with each other. - NMJ doesn’t burn NHS’s collection. - JGY intentionally sets things up so that NMJ can overhear his conversation with LXC: JGY promised NMJ to cut XY’s head in this very room and on this particular day. - Dead NMJ - already a fierce corpse - sees how JGY prepares to cut him. JGY asks NMJ's corpse to close his eyes and to stop searching for him. Says that he has no choice and takes up a saw. (Flashback ends.)

- LXC, who knows WWX’s plan, very persistently asks JGY to allow all the cultivators to enter his private room. - The knife with which Qin Su kills herself belonged to some assassin, not to WRH.

- When WWX and LWJ search for proofs against JGY in the Gusu secret library, LXC doesn’t defend JGY as stubbornly as in the final version. - LXC doesn’t tell WWX the story of his parents. - JGY doesn’t come to Gusu. That’s why LWJ and WWX go from Gusu not directly to Luanzang, but to search for the head or for any new clues. - In Ch.65 LWJ figures out that Su She is the Gravedigger. Then they see rising corpses and understand that JGY uses the Seal. - Then they meet a pupil from one of the clans who tries to escape from his captors. That’s how they learn about the young hostages. - Su She tells that both JGY and LXC are dangerously wounded by assassins.

- The next flashback starts not from the hunt but from the banquet at Lanling where WWX comes uninvited and demands to free the Wens  (the hunt episode doesn’t seem to be present in this version). JZX and JYL relationship is described later - when LWJ meets WWX with little Wen Yuan and tells WWX about JZX and JYL marriage. - On the banquet JGY doesn’t protect LXC from that jerk Jin Zixun as insistently as in the final version - WWX appears earlier. - Jin Zixun doesn’t throw wine at JGY, and LXC doesn’t give JGY his handkerchief.

Sometimes the author directly inserts JGY’s thoughts:

About Jin Jixun: Jin GuangYao maintained his smile without faltering, but still let out a soundless sigh. He rubbed his temples and thought to himself, “All a part of each other’s families? One extended family? An outspoken and straightforward air? Famous cultivators? …Isn’t forcing people to drink alcohol a sign of an improper upbringing?”  

About Mian-mian: Nie MingJue remarked, “Although this girl took her stand on the wrong battlefield, she has more integrity than that mob from her clan.” Jin GuangYao’s mouth said the words, “That’s right.” In his mind though, he thought, “There you go again, Big Brother. The hell is integrity? Can you eat it? She spent so much time and effort climbing up from a servant to a disciple, but took off her clan’s robes in a moment of anger. Many years of hardships disappeared like running water, and for what? Even if she was displeased, she should have grit her teeth and climbed up even higher, and killed all of the people who mocked her today. Wouldn’t that have been a better way to get rid of her hatred? This beauty is quite foolish. If someone wanted to talk about integrity and honor, they shouldn’t go farther than this.”

Overall impression of the text - it’s so great that the author rewrote it!!! 

Many excellent scenes aren’t present yet, there are some very questionable episodes, such as LWJ and WWX  bringing the dangerous headless corpse of NMJ to Gusu in an attempt to scare LXC (and also NHS, who just accidentally happened to be there). Or NMJ seeing things that happen after his death. Or WWX telling his plan to LXC and NHS while not being 100% sure that they won’t report it to JGY right away. 

JGY, NMJ and LXC are much more bland. Especially LXC: it’s like without his relationship with JGY he doesn’t have any characteristics or personal traits at all. NMJ is less controversial. JGY is less memorable and less... JGY-ish, since some of the best scenes with him aren’t present in NMJ flashback.

Also in the final version a lot more details are added to show how close LXC and JGY are.

[adorajoon]

stalked. (epilogue)

> epilogue of stalked

> an au in which you find a thirst account dedicated to you

> word count: +4k

—

4 Hours after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You can’t specifically recall the details from the day it happened. It felt like a hazy dream that you were on the verge of waking up from. In a regular situation you would have joked around about astral projecting the entire time, which in itself is funny to think about. But let’s be honest this was probably going to traumatize you for a few years, if not more. Even your primary coping mechanism, humor, wasn’t enough to protect you from the horror of reality. Somehow you had the seedling of a thought, that maybe just maybe this really was your fault.

Breathe.

You took a deep breath and rubbed your eyes. The potholes and constant bumping were doing the opposite of lulling you to sleep. The sky was dark and full of stars that whisked by. You moved around some to get in a more comfortable position but found your efforts fruitless. Again you sighed.

Your huffing caught the attention of Jungkook who had been your personal chauffeur. Even with your back turned to him you could feel his concerned stare. You felt bad about asking him to do this favor after leaving the police station, but he seemed eager to please. Not that you were complaining or anything, it was endearing.

Your destination was home. Home sweet home where you could leave behind the weighing thought of Hoseok and Uni homework you had yet to catch up on. Your house was about a 35 minute drive on a traffic free day. Far but not too far.

You looked through the window watching the stars go by again. The moon like always, was following the two of you. It took you back to when you were a kid when your parents told you about the rabbit on the moon. ‘Tokki’ as they called him would pound rice cakes on the moon. In a funny way, the story reminded you of Jungkook. In some ways he was like a rabbit with his big round eyes and cute bunny teeth. You made yourself laugh as you mused the thought of Jungkook being the rabbit on the moon.

“Hey Jungkook,” you shifted in your seat to look at him. His figure was illuminated by the street lights and moon. “Thanks for agreeing to take me home all late and stuff.”

He shrugged as if it was nothing, “Like I said, don’t worry about.” Jungkook spared you another glance. He put his hand on your hand which had been resting on your thigh. “You went through some Future Diary shit dude, it’s the least I can do.”

He gets a giggle and then a laugh out of you. ”You goddamn weeaboo.”

“Says the person with an anime profile picture.” His hand squeezes your hand but you retract it, indicating your (fake) offense. He continues on with his anime rant “All I’m saying is that Yuno was like ‘I wanna protect you’ and then homegirl nearly destroyed two universes just to be with Yuki...Also give me back your hand coward.”

You could see his point yet you continued to keep the banter/discussion going on. Anything to get your mind off your guilt.

5 hours after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

“Hey, I really don’t want this to come off the wrong way but...I haven’t brought a person home for my family to meet,” You looked down at the glove compartment, feeling a little bashful. “I want you to meet them under better circumstances and when yknow… we’re actually official?”

He nods understanding the position you’re in, “Oh I get you, it’d be weird of me to impose anyway.”

You offer him a weak smile and reach over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Be careful on the way home.”

“Y/n, don’t even worry about it, I have a black belt in kickassology.”

“Sehun’s thread says otherwise.”

—

You flop onto your bed with a defeated groan. You had spilled your guts to your parents all in one go and all that you really desired was to just sleep or at least forget about your day.

Feeling simultaneously frustrated and exhausted you grabbed your pillow and put it up to your face. You screamed into your pillow with all you had. And it went on for awhile before your tired yourself out. Flipping your body over you stared at the ceiling fan, you didn’t want to feel anything. Yet! Those intrusive thoughts of Hoseok came racing into your mind. His look of despair and pained face printed itself into your mind.

‘This is your fault.’

‘Wait no. Stop thinking it’s your fault because it’s not it was just the circumstances. Ok but wait, maybe-‘

You close your eyes for a few minutes before you suddenly feel the need to text. Typical Millennial. The person that jumps into your mind is of course Jungkook.

You smile at his response and throw your phone at the pile of stuff animals at the foot of your bed. He was a dork.

1 day after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You sat at kitchen table eating cereal across from your teenaged sibling. They had been typing away carelessly on their phone while you watched cartoons from their laptop. You guess they felt bad for you because they would have never trusted you with it otherwise. You put another spoonful into your mouth as you watched on. Your parents had left for works hours before hence their absence. You had to go back to campus later that day anyway so there wasn’t a point for them to stay and worry.

“Y/N.” They say all of the sudden. You look up to see urgency in there eyes.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“What do you mean?” You narrowed your eyes at them. It was rare of your sibling to extend to olive branch. You supposed they were emotionally constipated, unlike yourself, so moments like these were rare.

“Well.” They tried to elaborate the best they could, “You went through some stuff, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone...I guess.”

The sentiment meant a lot to you. You needed to hear that. A fond smile found its way to your face and retracted your hand. You leaned over the table, “This is the shittest week I’ve ever had.”

You begin to tell them about how everything started but you end up stopping midway because your phone vibrates on the wooden table surface. Your eyes glance at the screen and you see a notification from Jimin. For some reason your mouth goes dry.

The look of dismay on your face must have been too obvious because your sibling picked up on it right away. “What’s wrong?” They asked peeping up from the other side. Thankfully it was a sincere question, not one of annoyance. Your sibling was (usually) an insufferable dick sent from Hell.

You frowned, “Check your Twitter, I’m everywhere.”

They quirked an eyebrow at you and began scrolling through their own phone. You bite at the inside of your cheek anticipating their reaction to it. “Damn...Better start calling yourself Dick Wolf because you just produced an episode of Law and Order.” They said holding back their shit eating grin.

There was the sibling you hated.

You stood up from your chair, creating a jarring floor to chair leg screech. “I’m not taking this slander from a freshman in highschool, good day to you.”

You had completely pushed the issue of the media getting ahold of your story aside and put it in your repressed feelings box. You would worry about that later.

—

The train ride back to campus was uneventful to say the least. Save for the fucking part when Seokjin, someone you previously regarded as a good friend, texted you from out of the blue.

You sat in your seat staring at his message. In all honesty you didn’t want to talk to him, it would just make you feel awful. But at the same time you wanted some closure, more information. Hesitantly you texted him back, saying you would call him after you got off your train. He of course complied and that was that. Well not completely because your stomach started to feel queasy.

Kim Seokjin, is- no was the boyfriend of your longtime friend Min Yoongi. He just sort of crashed into your life about a year or moreso ago. Your first impression of him was not exactly good, even if he had made your friend happy, you had found him irritating and nosey (particularly in your affairs and gossip about you). You never voiced your annoyance of course and overtime Jin started to grow on you and the rest of your little group. In hindsight you should’ve seen his betrayal coming but again, being the overly forgiving idiot you were, you still saw the good in him.

You didn’t call him immediately, in fact you actually went back to your dorm. When you opened the door you half expected Yeri or Jisoo to come and attack you with questions but that was not the case. It was the middle of the day so no one was there.

You closed the door behind you and took a deep breath. It still smelled like Jisoo’s lavender lotion, for which you were grateful for. Slowly you kicked off your shoes and pushed them aside. As you walked to your bed you saw a little banner hanging across your wall saying, “We Missed You <3.” You had no idea how long it had been hung up but it made you crack a grin. Somehow you’d pay them back later for the cute message. Despite everything they were probably the most patient and understanding.

But you digress. You came in to relax...and call Jin. You sat at the foot of your bed and scrolled through your contacts. Upon finding his name you pause and take a moment to compose yourself.

The phone begins to dial him up. You sit alone in anticipation, you had no idea what he would tell you. You hoped he wouldn’t answer.

“Hey y/n...it’s me um.” Jin wasn’t usually one to stutter with his words, he was usually proper with his speech, “thanks for calling me.”

“What did you want to tell me?” You ask cutting to the point. Small talk would just make you feel awful.

He paused. “Everything.”

6 years before Jung Hoseok’s arrest

It was a month into freshman year, you would say that you adjusted pretty well despite your initial thinking. You had plenty of new friends and acquaintances, mixed in with some old. You were particularly fond of the boy who sat by you in biology. His name was Kim Namjoon, he was pretty cool for an NHS kid you figured. The two of you had plenty of interests like anime and...copying off each other's homework.

Anyway, one day during a free period you decided to stray from the usual group of people to focus on your work. You didn’t know that would be your big mistake.

You saw him from across the room. Jung Hoseok. The boy who everyone told you stay away from. The boy everyone avoided. The sad little boy you would come to know as your stalker.

Now you were never one to buy into rumors, you liked to judge people for yourself before jumping head first into conclusions. You gave him a look over from where you were. Not sugarcoating anything, he looked like shit. Yes, he wasn’t bad looking-not in the slightest. It was just the fact that he looked like he had just gotten in a bad fight and lost. The bruise marks on his neck were what really got your attention. Without thinking you walked over to him.

“Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone?” You stood over him with a concerned look.

He looked up at you partly startled at your presence. His face contorted into a variety of faces but eventually found itself in a mesh of shock and fear. Hoseok said nothing as his eyes began to gloss over with tears. You cocked your head to the side a little confused by his silence. His eyes locked with yours as a tear ran down from cheek. It was your turn to be startled. He began to cry more and more. Not knowing what to do in the situation you did the first thing that came to mind and that was pat his back. You didn’t know how he would react to that but you definitely didn’t expect him to cry harder. In a panic you looked around to see no one paying attention to the two of you, figures. Not knowing what else to do you gently wrapped your arms around him.

Yes you didn’t know him and you thought he would push you away but to your surprise he weakly wrapped his arms around you and began to cry in your shoulder.

You wish you could say that it escalated into a beautiful friendship after that but it didn’t. Though more friendly towards you Hoseok was still pretty much the same, he kept to himself. You respected his space and let him come to you, it wasn’t your intention to overstep boundaries.

He grew out of his ‘emo’ phase near the end of freshman year and by the next year his personality took a subtle turn. Suddenly everyone thought he was much more cool—not weird. By this time you already had your established friend group but you stayed on friendly terms. Homecoming was evidence enough of that.

3 days after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

When Jin said everything he meant everything. He told you about how long Hoseok had been planning to talk to you outside of high school, how he would shift his schedule to yours, how many pictures he had of you in his room. He told you about the elaborate past plans the two had come up with. Hoseok’s motivation for becoming a cop, which was not to get close to you like you suspected, but for another. Jin disclosed your stalker’s family ties and how his father abused him and his his own mother didn’t even want him. Hoseok wanted to be a police officer to help others like him, or at least that what he told Jin.

The first thing that you had concluded from the conversation the two of you had was that Hoseok had been in fact emotionally manipulating Seokjin even before you had met. It disturbed you to say the least and made you feel disgusted. Disgusted towards him and somehow yourself. You knew it wasn’t healthy to think that way but the thoughts just came in and in. 

Anyway.

It unsettled almost as much as the people dming you about your situation. You knew very well that they were news outlet people or just snooping around. Your assigned police officer Sooyoung had told you about being weary of who messaged you over the course of the next few days. It was understandable to be honest, you were the center and cause of the investigation of the Seoul Police and a stalker case. In addition to that she kept you posted on any new developments in what she called the ‘Jung Situation’.

The two of you corresponded through text mostly on the account of the Incheon Police Department going into maximum overdrive.

You stared at your phone for the longest time looking over what you had typed. It was out of your control.

You sighed and put your phone in your jacket pocket. You were at the front door of Jimin’s place. He alongside Taehyung had invited you over for dinner (he had ominously said dress ‘hoe formal’ so you assumed it would be just more than that). Not that you minded or anything, and it was probably better that you got out the dorms. (Especially when you spent the past few days making up as much work as humanly possible).

Before you even got to knocking he seemed to have sensed your presence and dragged you in. There wasn’t a point in protesting he was about as stubborn as he was small.

To your surprise you see your group of friends huddled up in his tiny living room. Their focus shifts from the TV and onto you. Yoongi, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Namjoon (with his patched up nose) give off varying degrees of excitement.

“Surprise y/n! I figured you needed a distraction from everything so we’re going out tonight!” Jimin held onto your shoulders as if you were about to book it and never come back. He was absolutely beaming.

“Where are we going?” You raised an eyebrow and tried to pry yourself away from his small hands (baby hands as you called them). It proves useless to struggle.

“Yeah I would like to know too.” Yoongi grumbles from the corner of the couch, basically drowning in his winter coat. You don’t blame him it was actually really cold. “You promised meat.”

Jungkook’s eyes lit up at the mention of food and he sat completely up from his spot, “Hyung are we...getting meat with y/n?” He says meat as if it’s a sacred word.

Jimin pouts and takes his hands off of you. He takes a few steps away from you to hold Taehyung’s empty hand (odd flex). “Well I was gonna tell you guys myself, but yes I’m paying for us to go eat and then we’re going to karaoke.” He seemed to squeeze Taehyung’s hand after making his last statement, “Yes I will pay so don’t worry about it.”

—

For the first time in what seemed like awhile you felt like a normal college student. Everything felt okay, and untouched by the heavy reality that was unwraveling around the six of you. Time seems to slow down as you all enjoy your dinner together, the table is filled with boisterous laughs and beer. Even Yoongi who had looked glum before had appeared to be in good spirits. You sort of thanked the alcohol for that.

All sitting around the table you all grabbed pieces of meat from the center of the table. There wasn’t a particular topic in the conversation it would just jump around from school to memes to the time Taehyung brought his dog Yeontan to school with him. And so it goes on like this right up until you all go to karaoke.

It was all shits and giggles by then but you were starting to feel the affects of drowsiness kick in. It was a shame that you were a sleepy drunk. 

While they went ham in karaoke you sat next to Yoongi who was taking a breather because he was partially tipsy. You watched everyone have a good time in front of you. Not that you minded you were perfectly content with watching man-children make a fool out of themselves.

 A little bit into it you saw Yoongi looking more or less sad. “...Are you ok?” You asked Yoongi, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t give you an immediate response. “As long as I have you guys I think I’ll be fine.” His voice was soft and his eyes were locked on his shoes.

1 week after Jung Hoseok’s arrest

“Y/n.” Officer Sooyoung Park sat across from you at her desk, she looked tired and run down from the overtime she had been working, “I’m glad you could make it on such short notice.”

You nodded, “It was no problem...”

She let out a huff and supported her head on her hands, “So I’m going to be one hundred percent with you, we worked hard for you to get justice while also keeping in mind the circumstances.” she continued to speak, “The judge found Hoseok unfit for trial due to his mental state so he’s going to rehabilitation where hopefully he can improve.”

“And what happens if he doesn't?” You sat on the edge of your seat. 

“They’ll keep him as long as he needs to be there.” She took a sip of her coffee while reading from a manila folder filled with papers on papers. Her eyes looked up at you with an unreadable expression. “I’ve done all I can.”

It was out of your hands now. You get up and thank her for her services.

“One more thing.” 

You stopped, your hand resting on the door handle.

“He told me to tell you that he’s sorry. He was annoying and insistent that I tell you or else he wouldn’t comply with the other officers.”

You just nodded and opened the door. 

Feeling bittersweet about the entire thing. you didn’t intend on looking back.

“Take care of yourself y/n.”

2 years since Jung Hoseok’s arrest

You sat next to Jungkook awkwardly adjusting the top part of your dress. It was hot and sticky and absolutely disgusting outside. You mentally cursed at Jin who insisted on having the outing outside in the first place. Jungkook wouldn’t stop squirming around in his seat either, it was easy to infer that he felt just as hot in his tux (as if his sweat didn’t give it away either).

“Who decides to have their wedding in the middle of May anyway?” You ask making sure to keep your voice to a whisper. “My thighs are melted to the chair.” You weren’t even being dramatic, if you tried to get up your skin would most definitely peel off the plastic chair. Graphic but you lived a sad life indeed.

“We both know Jin is...unique.” Jungkook crosses his arms and slouches in his chair. “And knowing him he probably planned it all without Yoongi.”

The wedding venue was nice enough, it looked expensive and elegant like you expected. White flower petals were littered everywhere you walked and decorative designs adorned any and all inanimate objects. Seokjin was a man of elegant taste what could you say.

There was a brief pause, you could hear the hushed murmurs of the other guests behind the two of you. You took a quick glance around to see some familiar faces mixed in with some not-so familiar faces. In the front you can see Yoongi standing awkwardly in his little suit. Namjoon and Jimin stand to the side as his best men laughing at him. You smile fondly at the sight. Yoongi notices your gaze and sends you a nervous smile. Of course your reaction is to send him an over enthusiastic thumbs up. 

“Y/n, do you think the emergency gummy bears are melted?” Jungkook asked you quietly while searching through your purse. You didn’t notice he had been snooping around until he said something.

Jungkook hadn’t changed a bit since the two of you decided to start seeing each other. He was still a dweeb who annoyed you by calling you mommy. Which was fucking disgusting. You relished your time spent with Jungkook even if you hadn’t officially started talking until the incident. 

Finally he retrieved your shared stash of gummy bears and began to open them. Soon after he did that the traditional wedding song from the organ began to play. Both of you froze in place and waited in anticipation for the other groom to come out. Quietly you both stood up and watched as Seokjin appeared at the beginning of the walkway. He took long strides with the music up to his husband to be.

You watched with bated breath as Jin approaches the altar. Yoongi had the biggest and most child-like grin on his face. 2 years prior you would have never forseen the two of them pushing through their relationships problems. It was almost laughable, the entirety of two years ago felt like a bad dream. 

It took a lot to get to this point you were not going to lie. It took therapy, confrontation, and acceptance of the circumstances, but you were finally glad to say that you and your friends were in a better place. Just a few days back you had heard Hoseok had requested a hearing to be discharged from the institution. 

The music stopped and your attention was now fully on the couple who were starting a new beginning. Somewhere in the speech you interlocked fingers with your boyfriend who was periodically eating gummy bears from his pocket. 

It finally dawned on you--You probably wouldn’t be here if Jimin had never found the thirst account. You wouldn’t be with Jungkook, but rather Hoseok who would still be dangerously infatuated with you. Jin could’ve still been pining after Hoseok, 

Hoseok would have still thought of you as his galaxy.

The notion of it made your stomach turn and you disregarded the thought. Nervously, you fiddled with the ring on your left hand while looking ahead at the altar. Jungkook’s eyes shift from the couple and onto you, he stays silent however his finger runs over the outside of your palm soothingly.

You feel at peace again and your restless thoughts are put to bed once more.