#falling back in love
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Misty Memories Cold
When you wake in Fíli’s bed with no recollection of anything after an accident in Mirkwood, he’s ready to risk anything, even his uncle’s wrath, to bring back what you had together.
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Chapter One
Cold.
You’re cold. It’s dark. You’re falling. Someone reaches for you. Too late.
The water folds in around you. It floods your nose. It floods your ears. Your limbs don’t work. You can’t swim.
Muffled shouts. You open your mouth to cry back. It fills with water.
Choking.
Drowning.
Drowning.
Drowning drowning drowning dr–
You wake with a jolt, sitting up in bed.
Bed?
You pat the sheets around you. Yes, you’re definitely in a bed, not curled up on the leaf litter in Mirkwood.
“I guess it really was a dream,” you whisper, shoulders slumping. But as you run your fingers across the hem of the blanket, you frown. It doesn’t feel like the old quilt on your bed. It’s thicker, softer.
Something is wrong.
You look around the room as your eyes begin to adjust. There’s a fireplace across the room, the dying embers casting just enough light to let you make out the vague shapes of furniture in the darkness. The walls and floor are stone, adorned with plush rugs. The wind rattles the shutters outside the window, hidden behind thick curtains.
This is not your bedroom… and you are not alone. A dark figure stirs next to you beneath the covers. You scramble out of bed but find the floor farther away than expected. You land hard on your side. “Ow!”
You slap your hand over your mouth, but it’s too late. The figure sits up with a groan, rubbing at its face and leaning to peer over the edge of the bed at you. There’s no mistaking that mustache, those braids.
“Fíli? What… where are we?” And why are we in bed together?
Fíli blinks a few times to clear the sleep from his eyes. “What do you mean?” he asks hoarsely, his voice rough. He rolls out of bed and kneels in front of you. “We’re home. In Erebor? You know, the mountain? Big pile of rocks and snow? It’s rather hard to miss.” He raises an eyebrow, trying to coax a smile from you.
Instead, you scoot backwards, putting space between you and the prince as you process his words. “But we were just in Mirkwood,” you protest. “How did we get here?”
Fíli’s confusion turns to concern. “Y/N, that was a year ago.” He shifts closer and brushes a thumb over your cheek. “Are you feeling alright?”
You stiffen against his touch, heart in your throat. Ever the gentleman, he’s never touched you without permission before. But something about the way his palm cups your face feels familiar. “I don’t know,” you whisper, shaking your head. “All I remember is falling into the stream.”
“You don’t remember the elves? Fighting for the mountain? All the time we spent together?” He uncovers a long braid in your hair. “Our wedding?”
“Wedding?!” It’s true, you’ve harbored feelings for Fíli since the two of you met in Bag End. You’d admired him in the book and movies, and to see him for real… it did something to you. But you never thought he would return your affections—how could he? You’re a plain, young woman from another world, and he’s a handsome prince, heir to the throne.
Fíli searches your face, expression unreadable. Finally, he stands, offering you his hand. “Come on.”
You take it hesitantly. His fingers lace through yours, and he helps you to your feet. Strangely, you find that instead of being taller than the dwarf, you’re just level with his chin. But before you can comment on this, Fíli pulls you out the door and down a narrow hallway.
He leads you to a large sitting room, taking you to the sofa next to yet another fireplace. “Wait here,” he orders softly. “I’ll fetch Thorin.”
“Thorin’s alive?” you breathe. “What about Kíli?”
“Kíli would like to know what the pair of you are doing up and chattering in the middle of the night,” replies a voice from behind you. The youngest Durin leans against the wall with his arms crossed, hair still tousled from sleep.
You tip back your head and close your eyes. “They did it,” you sigh in relief. “Oh, thank God, they did it.”
Kíli raises an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”
Fíli pinches the bridge of his nose. “Let me get Thorin first. I would rather not explain this twice.”
“Again.” Thorin paces in front of the fire.
You rub your forehead. “I told you, that’s it,” you groan. “I fell in the water and woke up here.”
Kíli shakes his head. “It makes no sense.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
Thorin flashes you a warning look.
“It was no ordinary stream,” Fíli points out. He sits with you on the couch, his hand resting on top of yours. Every once in a while, he gives it a reassuring squeeze. “It had some sort of foul magic. She wouldn’t wake for days.”
“If it’s magic that we’re dealing with,” you glance at Thorin warily before continuing, “it might be a good idea to talk with the elves.”
“Absolutely not,” Thorin snaps. His lip curls in disgust. “I refuse to invite them to interfere in our private matters.”
Kíli’s eyes brighten. “What about Gandalf, then? Where would we find him?”
They all look to you. You close your eyes, teasing and tugging at the cobwebs that cloud the part of your mind where your Middle Earth knowledge is stored. “He’s… there’s no guarantee we even could find him. Gandalf doesn’t have a home, exactly. He wanders. They don’t call him the Grey Pilgrim for nothing.”
“So we don’t know where Gandalf is,” Fíli starts slowly, “but we do know where the elves are.”
“And Gandalf wasn’t in Mirkwood with us,” you add. “There’s no guarantee he even knows about the enchanted stream—but Thranduil definitely would.”
Thorin crosses his arms. “Out of the question.”
“Did you not make peace with Mirkwood?”
“Peace does not mean friendship,” Thorin retorts. His voice, raised in frustration, echoes off of the polished stone walls. Down another hallway, you hear a door slam. Thorin groans at the sound of approaching footsteps.
“And just what in Mahal’s name is everyone shouting about at this hour of night?”
A new dwarf steps into the firelight. In the dim light, she almost looks like a copy of Thorin. But as she approaches, you can see her features are softer, her eyes rounder, her beard thinner. And there’s no mistaking the Durin glare that she levels at Thorin, her blue eyes just as piercing as they are tired.
You glance at Fíli with uncertainty. He squeezes your hand and leans close to murmur in your ear. “It’s just Amad. Mother,” he translates when you don’t seem to understand.
Dís. You nod quickly.
Thorin looks at you, then back to his sister, standing with arms crossed and an eyebrow raised expectantly. As they exchange words in their rough native tongue, Dís’s expression of irritation turns to one of soft, motherly concern. She comes closer to you and gently brushes away a few strands of unruly hair from your face. “You must be tired, natha.”
“Daughter,” Fíli whispers.
“A bit,” you reply quietly, finding yourself suddenly shy with the full attention of a mother focused on you.
“Poor dove,” Dís tuts. She straightens up and pats you on the shoulder. “Fíli, take your lass back to bed. We will speak in the morning.” Thorin looks like he means to protest, but Dís silences him with an icy glare. Planting a kiss on the top of your head, she pushes Kíli and Thorin back down their opposite hallways. Fíli pats your hand and follows her quickly, his words in Khuzdûl fading as he gets further away.
Finally alone, you let out a long sigh. For the first time, you get the chance to look yourself over, to see what has changed. Your hair is longer, brushing the small of your back. When you run your fingers through it, you find braids styled to match Fíli’s. A dwarven marriage custom, perhaps? There’s a thin, gold band on your finger, too, lined with tiny sapphires that sparkle in the firelight. A little smile tugs at the corner of your mouth; at least you kept some piece of your own marriage customs.
And while Fíli has been bare-chested this whole time, you’re wearing a dark green shirt, no doubt one that used to be his. It’s long enough on you to serve as a nightgown. A blush rises on your face when you realize the deep v-neck exposes the dip between your breasts—and has been exposing it to everyone else this whole time.
“Amrâlimê?” Fíli’s voice from the hallway is soft. He pokes his head into the sitting room. “Aren’t you going to come to bed?”
You gnaw on your bottom lip, suddenly very interested in the fireplace. In anything that isn’t Fíli’s too-kind face. “Do you want me to?” you ask hesitantly.
It’s silent for a few seconds. Fíli sighs heavily and comes to kneel before you, taking your hands in his. “Y/N, you are my wife. Of course I want you to come to bed. It is our bed.” His eyes search yours, desperately looking for the light he knows should be there. “Do I not have your love?”
“I mean, sure,” you reply softly. Your voice is strained. “I just… I don’t understand how I have yours. You’re the crown prince, you’re perfect. And I’m just… me.”
“You are so much more than that,” Fíli murmurs. “You are everything to me.” He kisses your forehead and stands. Before you can say anything, you’re swept up in his arms. Startled, you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck to avoid falling, but he carries your smaller frame with ease.
You frown, remembering your observation from earlier. “Shouldn’t I be taller than you?”
“Ah. Well.” Fili’s chuckle makes his chest vibrate against your cheek. “That’s all that we thought the stream did. Make you properly sized.”
“Properly sized?” you repeat in disbelief. “You call this properly sized?”
“You complained about it endlessly,” Fíli continues. A playful smile tugs at his lips. “Until you realized how well you fit in my arms.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re very funny.”
“I’m also handsome, charming, brave…”
“Shut up.” You smack his shoulder lightly, but hide a smile as you tuck your head beneath his chin. Maybe you can get used to this.
But as he kicks open the door to his—your—room, and you see the bed with its rumpled covers, you tense.
“Y/N?” Fíli’s breath tickles your neck.
“It’s… just a lot, all at once,” you mumble.
He squeezes you, then lowers you gently to the bed. “I understand,” he murmurs.
“You really don’t, though.” Pent-up frustration simmers within you. “When’s the last time you fell into a stream, woke up, and found out a year had passed and you’re married?”
“Are you upset that we’re married?” Fíli asks, his face falling.
You feel a pang of guilt for snapping at him. This can’t be any easier for him. Running your hand through your tangled hair, you shake your head. “It feels like one moment, I was a girl with a crush, and then I wake up, and suddenly I’m a married woman. I’ve missed out on everything.”
“It’s in there, somewhere,” he whispers, stroking your cheek. You flinch away, your body unsure of how to react to his touch. Hurt flickers across his face, but he pulls back. “Can I fix your braids?” he asks. There’s desperation in his eyes.
Recognizing his need to touch you in whatever way he can, you nod slowly, and turn. The gentle, rhythmic tugging as he combs and re-braids your hair is hypnotic, and you find your eyelids drooping.
“There,” Fíli says, turning you back to him. He smiles sadly. “Beautiful as ever.”
Your heart aches. Whether it aches for him, the dwarf searching for his loving wife in the uncertain girl before him, or yourself, longing to be that loving wife, you do not know.
After a moment of hesitation, you lean in and reward him with a quick kiss on the cheek. His beard is prickly against your lips. “I’m tired,” you whisper when you draw back.
The kiss brings a real smile to his face, however small it may be. Fíli pulls back the covers and you wriggle underneath them. You settle into a dip worn down into the mattress from hundreds of nights before. Fíli slides into place behind you, his chest against your back. You stiffen slightly, but force yourself to relax.
“Is this alright?” His deep, quiet voice vibrates through your body.
You nod. He can have a little cuddle, as a treat. As an apology.
He takes that as a signal to test the limits further. You can tell he’s holding his breath as he drapes his arm over your waist. “Is this alright?”
“It’s cozy,” you mumble sleepily, letting the warmth of his body overwhelm you.
Fíli lets out his breath, pulling you tightly against him and nuzzling his face into your hair.
As you drift off, you do your best to pretend you don’t notice his quiet tears.
You began to stir, finding your face pressed into something warm and firm. As you tried to pull away to look around, you were met with resistance. You made a disgruntled noise.
“Y/N?!” Suddenly, a hand yanked your head backwards. Wide eyes searched your face frantically. You just barely registered who held you before he pulled you back in a crushing embrace. “I thought we’d lost you.”
“Fíli?” you mumbled, your voice muffled by his coat. “Can’t breathe.”
He released you, finally letting you get your bearings. The two of you were alone in a small, stone cell. Torchlight flickered just outside the wrought iron bars, casting a dim, orange light into your cell.
A shadow crossed over the door. “Oh, so she is alive. Here, then.” An apple landed on the ground in front of you, followed by a waterskin. “That’s the most you get until tomorrow. Make it last.” The shadow retreated, footsteps echoing down a long hallway.
Pieces began to slot into place in your mind. You nodded slowly. Mirkwood, elves, imprisonment. “How long have we been in here?”
“A few days at most, given how often they’ve brought food and water. But it’s hard to tell.” Fíli seemed distracted, eyes scanning your body. “How do you feel?”
You frowned and patted yourself up and down. “A bit sore, but I think I’m fine.” You untangled yourself from Fíli and tried to stand on shaky legs, your knees instantly failing beneath you.
Immediately, he jumped up and grabbed your waist from behind to steady you. “Y/N?” His voice was soft. “Y/N, please do not be alarmed when you turn around.”
“What?” You twisted in his grasp and looked up into his concerned face.
Up. You had to tilt your head up to meet his eyes. He was big. You tried to back away but the space was so narrow, you collided with the wall after just a single step. “You’re taller,” you stated, almost robotically. “But you’re a dwarf. You can’t be taller than me. I’m supposed to be the taller one. How did you get taller?”
“I did not get taller,” he corrected you. “You got smaller.”
You just stared at him blankly. Fíli sighed, gently taking hold of your arm and easing you back to the ground. He took the apple from the floor and placed it in your hand. “Eat,” he ordered quietly. “You haven’t had any food in days. It was hard enough to get water into you.”
Instead, you rolled it between your palms absentmindedly. “How long was I out?”
“Just over a week. We were trying to cross a stream, and you fell in.”
“Instead of Bombur,” you interjected.
Fíli raised an eyebrow. “If you say so. Glóin managed to snag you,” he continues, “and when he pulled you out, you were… well, smaller. But you wouldn’t wake up. You even slept through the spiders. I was so afraid that you were gone before I could tell you–” he broke off, his voice thick. He tore his eyes away from yours, a blush rising on his face.
“What?” You reached out and took hold of his chin, turning his face back to you. Yet his eyes still avoided you. You crawled closer, kneeling between his outstretched legs. Your traitorous heart pounded hopefully against your ribs. “Tell me what, Fee?”
He shook his head. “No, no, it’s foolish. I shouldn’t… you wouldn’t…” Finally, he looked back up at you. “I love you?” He phrased it as a question, his blue eyes filled with hesitation. It was strangely endearing, seeing the normally confident prince so bashful. Fíli lifted a cautious hand to your cheek, fingers just barely brushing your skin.
Surprise temporarily robbed you of your voice. Mistaking your silence for rejection, Fíli quickly pulled his hand away. Shame and hurt flashed across his face. “Forgive me,” he blurted out, ducking his head. “I should not burden you with feelings you can never return.” He pulled his legs back in and moved further into the shadowy recesses of the cell.
But you crawled after him, refusing to let him go that easily. “Fíli, why didn’t you say anything?” When he remained silent, you wound your fingers up in one of his braids and tugged, forcing him to turn his head towards you. “Why are you so sure that I can’t feel the same?”
A cautious spark of hope flared to life in his eyes. “Because you’re perfect, you’re beautiful,” he murmured. “You deserve so much more than I can give.”
You smiled, eyes tracing his face. The gold locks that framed it, the sky blue eyes, the flushed cheeks. And those soft, pink lips, parted ever so slightly as he awaited your next words.
But words were the furthest thing from your mind. Refusing to hold back any longer, you grabbed Fíli by the collar, lunging forward to claim his mouth.
His eyes widened, then fluttered shut as his hands grabbed at your waist. Fíli pulled you back into his lap and wrapped his arms around you, reaching up to comb through your tangled hair with his fingers.
A rock clanged against the bars of your cell. “Get a room!” came Kíli’s voice, echoing down the hall.
You broke away with a laugh. “This is a room!”
Kíli’s only response was a disgusted groan as Fíli grabbed at your face for more.
#fanfiction#fíli#kíli#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield#dís#fili x you#fili x reader#modern girl in middle earth#amnesia#falling back in love#everybody lives#soft Fíli#angst and hurt/comfort#it gets angstier before it gets fluffier
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Found all the Scott Pilgrim books at a thrift store for 25 dollars (4.50$ per book) and I’m so happy I finally got them
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Did anyone tell Ford (bonus doodles: Family Movie Night, 70s Classics)
#DID ANYONE TELL HIM. DOES MR NERD KNOW THEY MADE LIVE ACTION LORD OF THE RINGS MOVIES#FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING CAME OUT IN 2001 DOES HE KNOW. HAS HE WATCHED THEM#more importantly the HOBBIT came out in december of 2012. meaning Ford came back JUST in time to watch it in theatres#which I choose to believe he and Dipper did do. I'm gonna draw that actually. Those nerds love Tolkien you cant tell me otherwise#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#dipper pines#mason pines#gravity falls#GF fanart#fan art#fanart#digital art#comic#silly#my art
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dont forget what happened to icarus
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#my art#guhh cat#i like ford the most in this 1 .i struggled hard w fiddleford but thts OKAAAYYYY :thumbs up:#also idk if it translates well at all but i wanted to include stanleys brand.fresh off the press 📣#i do want to come back to this at some point and touch it up . future me w the future ability 2 execute this how i wanted hmmm#but im j happy to have smt i want to draw again LAWLL#gf art is incredibly embarrassing 4 me to post#like not even ab the show (which is awesome amazing legiterally da best) and i loveee lovee all the other art its like.#i feel like there is a magnifying glass looking in2 my soul.exposed. ths is how roly polies and armadillos feel
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!
I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished
#makeaterriblecomicday2024#comic#comics#sketch#does this count as horror like comment subscribe down below#Ever since I stopped being on social media as often/stopped taking it deadly serious I've been able to fall back in love with the process..#...of art which is fantastic!! I do enjoy taking my time with things but it's still very easy to get caught up in making something Perfect#ESPECIALLY WITH COMICS#As a comic maker and comic enjoyer you have to remind yourself people speed through reading them. It's ok to take shortcuts#Every frame does not need to be a painting#Anyways this was a great way to make something after falling into an MMO hole for a few days...#unrelated did u guys know Wizard 101 is still alive with an active player base#Ok hopefully I can get back on track to finishing my next short horror comic in the next month or so wish me luck fellers
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Ah, Stan, not on the good rug!! Your fleas are jumpin' off and holin' up in there!!!
Guys, be real, he would have fleas he was a stray for ten years 🗣️
I just wanted to draw Stan stratchin' like a dog, you guys understand 🙏
Previous!!
Next!!
First!!
#this was originally gonna be a response to an ask but i... lost it#i saved the original to drafts and it disappeared 😢😔#sorry to the asker i love you#cole's art#art#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#the indication that fidds is falling in love with him being the ear fwip is my favorite part#i keep looking back on all of these vampwere FiddleStan comics and going wow 🥹 free will is a beautiful thing#fiddlestan#vampire fiddleford#werewolf stan pines#gravity falls comic#gravity falls au#gravity falls halloween au#I love being able to do whatever I want to all of the time!!
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Yaaaaay happy birthday to Mabel and Dipper!!! Weird to learn that we're the same age tho ahahah
#art#fanart#illustration#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#bill cipher#wendy courderoy#soos ramirez#gf#the book of bill#another summer in Gravity Falls and Mabel goes all out on polaroid like cameras#soooo good to get back to gf fanart i can't#love this show so so so much
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ꜰᴜᴄᴋ.. ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ.
#love#poetry#unsaid things#feelings#lettersonyourscreen#my thoughts#true feelings#best friends#unrequited love#falling back in love
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Here’s how I want robin in the next battinson movie:
The very first scene is Bruce and tiny Dick Grayson sitting across from each other at the dining table, staring each other down in silence, both clearly grumpy about it. Alfred is in the background watching them with concern. The silence lasts about 20 seconds before Dick speaks.
“Let me fight crime.” (said with all the petulance of a pouty 10 year old)
Bruce replies immediately. “No.” (this is clearly an ongoing argument)
Immediately cut to the next scene where Dick, wearing the iconic Robin suit, is having the time of his life swinging across the city while Bruce frantically tries to keep up with him while yelling at him to be careful like an anxious mother
#just a whole movie of bruce being bullied by this small child he just adopted#being forced to take on a ‘if you’re going to drink then id rather you do it with me’ style of parenting#just back and forth between falling in love with his new son and going ‘why tf did I adopt a child?!’#batman#robin#battinson#bruce wayne#dick grayson#dc#dc comics#mine
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mabel pines #1 hater
#gravity falls#bill cipher#mabel pines#gf nevermind all that#mabel pines is the nicest girl you've met in that if a guy is bothering you in the bar she will beat his ass so bad he can't see#mabel pines will talk you through your panic attack#mabel pines will fight tooth and god damn nail to keep you from calling your shitty ex back#mabel pines will actually go . a bit too far trying to keep you from calling your ex back#perhaps she is a bit TOO invested in the lives and happiness of others#oh fuck oh no wait mabel pines you've gone to far#you're not prioritizing your own relationships and well being mabel pines oh fcuk oh no#wait maybe it's a bad thing that a 12 year old girl has to give her 60 yr old grunkle love advice#maybe a kid shouldn't be the one giving her adult uncle therapy oh noooooo#what the fuckkkkkk#stump art
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i wasn't sure exactly what i thought adult gideon should be doing, but i DO quite like the triple combination of cowboy-biker, drag queen, and used car salesman at the same time. she's always a busy person!
#gravity falls#gideon gleeful#it's a way for him to still perform and sing and express himself!!!#i also just love trans girl gideon headcanon in general but this is almost sort of my middle ground here#i think anything is fun... drag queen... genderfluid... transedgender...#i'm still not sure how i wanna do his body type and height and stuff cus i like him both short and huge#but i think his voice should stay exactly the same like thurop#i'll probably come back to this another time and reput some of this info on my art blog#i'd like to either think of a pun with gloria or have that as well as a drag name#theo was thinking morning glory as a name she could use#isnt it cute both mabel and gideon have star motifs
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drawings from paleo expedition to dagestan, done right on the trip. sometimes messy when it was cold and rainy, but i won't correct it. i think it's cool to leave it just the way it was done, and not retouch it after. there will be more drawings later, but those will be done from home
#i need to draw for 2 museums at least to then send it to them as a gift cuz people there were so nice???? AAAA#and yeah im definitely doing back#maybe in autumn... who knows#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#and#paleoart#???#in a way it is i guess#also i usually don't share things from my sketchbook. but these drawings hold so many nice memories#of clouds that hide top of the mountains#of sitting on a rock#drawing and seeing a scorpion vibing next to u (tiny friend!)#of leaning on a big cow and almost falling asleep on a field with her after the rain#of... forgetting the pain too#of not wanting to even talk about the wonderful time i've had. because it was only for me to remember#so much happened up in the mountains that i'll never forget#thank u big rocks and soil and grass and apricot trees i love you#...#paleoland#fieldbook_barghest_land
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Thinking about how (a humanoid) Bill would see Ford be older after those 30 years (because that’s how people work), and so to try and appeal to him again, he makes himself look older too (I mean, he’s WAYYYY older than Ford actually, but I just mean visually)
But then after he’s killed and sent to the Theraprism, he goes back to his original twink look, and I say this because I already did a drawing of my humanoid Bill in prison and I like how that design worked with his pathetic traumatized orange jumpsuit look more than I think I would like it with an older looking version 😁 plus uhh I don’t wanna deem that drawing “not canon” to my brain so yeah
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#I said in my discord that older bill was giving lesbian 😭#it’s so goofy bc like…I decided a more ‘mature’ version of him would have THAT hair.#which is the SAME HAIR i give to both Manfred von Karma and William Afton#which would be FINE#if I didn’t already give ‘younger’ Bill the SAME BANGS I give to both Miles Edgeworth and Michael Afton#THIS CAN’T KEEP HAPPENING TO MEEEEEE#I’m so in love with older Bill’s coat oughhh the blue inside RAHHHH#I gave him a big bow on the back of it bc 1. I liked how it looked and 2. reference to my design for his mama#and then he has straps on his eyepatch now bc reference to my humanoid design for his dad#anyways yeah toxic evil triangle man tries so desperately to appeal to his ex boyfriend just to get rejected 😔😔😔
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next time if you ever feel like falling back to old habits just remember this
personally, there's no better motivation than remembering that there's probably many people out there who don't want me to succeed.
#when you fall back to your old ways you're actually giving the devil and your haters what they've always wanted#student#study motivation#studyspo#self improvement#studyblr#mental health#psychology#it girl#self care#self esteem#college#personal development#personal growth#that girl#studying#university#becoming that girl#it girl energy#glow up#healing#philosophy#medical school#med studyblr#medblr#quotes#self confidence#self love#faith
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mornings in the desert
#desert duo fanart#desert duo#scarian#kelddaa#kelds art#keld make a desertduo piece without excessive warm lighting challenge IMPOSSIBLE#it’s fine tho I love warm lighting#prob could’ve spent more time on this but eh oh well#took me a long time toiling with their expressions#eventually ended up with these… grimaces#maybe bc it’s so early in the morning#maybe bc it’s just these two fools#and they’ve got… whatever it is they’ve got going on in third life#third life Scarian is so special to me#agh sorry I’m falling back into my desert duo phase and rambling about them#1k
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