#faith seed core

[inafieldofdaisies]

[skoll-sun-eater]

Faith Seed cosplay while out camping. ^__^ It was incredibly hot out, heat wave ripping thru. But I think we got a couple okay shots and video. The video is still being edited lol. I'm sooo afraid to do anything in these white dresses. XD I like test running the hell outta things before fully committing to some costume alterations.

Photo credit goes to @alexeicosplay

Anywho, Walk the path. Also if you don't choose, he'll be right. ^.^

[blueivyy99]

Calm and Serenity (Part 2)

Sylus x Non!Mc

summary: you didn't know what sylus saw in you. he said you were calm, quiet and serene and that's what he needs. you believed it. he showed it. not until little miss hunter came. she's everything you're not. news that she's in danger can make the ever so calm sylus to run and leave everything behind. it made you think, would he do that for you as well?

tags: angst, romance, hurt and comfort, confused sylus, non-mc reader (this is it for now)

note: thank you for the love in the previous chapter 🥹

Series Masterlist

It's been a month or two since the last time you've been with Sylus. It saddens you that the time you get to spend together is cut short, only seeing each other at night when he pleases to have dinner or greet you goodnight.

You asked Luke and Kieran about what's happening, but they don't know either. They just know it has something to do with Miss Hunter, about Aether Core, about something that you have very little knowledge about. You mentally noted to search about it later.

“He is very grumpy lately,” Luke said, "He was glaring at us like he wants to skin us alive whenever me and my twin are being a little louder than normal.”

"The only one safe from his anger is Miss Hunter,” Kieran added. "I don't appreciate that Boss is playing favorites in our team.”

You tried not to let out a shaky breath. Luke noticed and he had to elbow Kieran to make him shut up.

"Sorry, Y/N.”

You gave him a small smile. "It's okay. I'll try and catch Sylus one of these days. I'll talk to him.”

The twins scurry away while arguing. They think they offended you and they are passing on the blame with each other.

On normal days, it's not easy to get you offended but lately, every little thing just makes you … sensitive.

Maybe it started when you wanted that crow brooch that is neatly placed on Sylus's table …

When you asked him for it he just said, “It's for Miss Hunter,"

He took it from your hand. Albeit gently, it still weighed heavy in your heart.

You know you don't always get your way but with the little seeds of jealousy slowly growing in your heart, it's easy to feel hurt and feel neglected.

You just wanted that damn brooch and you know that he can buy another piece. Or even make you a custom-made one, one that is more inclined on your taste.

You took a deep breath.

Sylus is stressed. You know that and it's not right to add more to his burden. It's just a brooch after all.

“I-I didn't know, but when you have the time to grab one, remember me, okay?” you said.

"Next time, sweetie.” He replied and quickly went back to reading reports.

You don't know if he took your words seriously, but you have enough faith in him to trust that he did.

Or maybe the disappointment started when you wanted to go to Linkon.

There's a newly opened arcade shop that you're really itching to go.

Normally, Sylus would agree and watch you play. He's not the best when it comes to the claw machine, anyway.

So imagine your surprise when he rejected your offer. Not only that, the answer that followed chipped away at your heart little by little.

“Me and Miss Hunter already went there. It's not as fun as the other ones you've tried. You're just gonna waste your time there. Not even new plushies,” he even had the audacity to roll his eyes at that.

It seemed like he didn't think before speaking or he didn't see anything wrong with what he said.

Truthfully, there is none. The logical part of you knows he didn't say anything wrong. But for fuck's sake! Really telling your girlfriend that you went to the arcade with another woman? That's new. That's not something she expected of Sylus.

“You went with her?" you asked. You're anticipating his answer. Praying it's something logical. Something acceptable.

Please tell me it has something to do with those missions.

He looked at you, trying to see what's in your mind but you didn't show anything. Blocking any negative emotions from seeping on the cracks of your face. You tried to look as curious and as genuine as you can be.

Thankfully, he believed that.

“Yes. We went there after getting some intel around the area. She dragged me inside and she played until her heart's content. I remembered she went home with that crow plushie with a bib. She looked happy,"

You almost wanted to scoff at his face. You wanted that plushe as well, he seemed to forget about that. If it's only about the plushie maybe you can push down these negative feelings but here he is looking so endeared while saying that. As if he's not talking to his girlfriend.

Patience. Patience.

“I see. Good for her.” you said. "I also want that crow stuffed toy. Good thing to know they have them."

You tried giving him a hint. It's not like you to make anyone guess what's on your mind.

But then there's silence. And a beep on his phone. He tore his gaze away from you and your statement long forgotten.

At that point, you're holding yourself together trying not to scream and yell at him.

Maybe that's where it started. Maybe it's when you know that the distractions were not just caused by the missions but by Miss Hunter herself.

==

You sighed. It's evening and Sylus is still nowhere to be found. You texted him but you're met with silence. You wanted to call, but you hesitated. It feels like you don't have the right to do it.

Worry starts gnawing at you when Luke and Kieran hurriedly go out. They didn't even have the chance to say a proper goodbye.

Minutes kept ticking, and you heard it.

Explosions.

Your heart stopped and you wanted to run to where it was because something tells you that Sylus is there. He's in danger.

But before you can even step out of the base, Sylus's men stopped you.

“Boss’s orders to not let the Madame go out when the mission is in full swing. Please wait for him here."

You wanted to pull your hair out. You're trembling with worry but anywhere you go, someone will stop you. You can't even sneak out because that will surely trigger the alarms.

With a heavy heart you slumped on the couch.

“Fucking hell, Sylus what is happening when are you coming home!” you muttered to yourself.

You kept pacing and pacing every second seemed to last a lifetime.

Until the door opened.

And there he was, shirt torn, hair deshiveled and a few scratches on his body.

"Thank God you're alive!” you exclaimed and caught his heavy body before he lost consciousness.

"Sylus? Sylus!” you tried shaking him, but he won't wake up.

You settled him on the couch and grabbed the nearest first aid kit you can reach. Sylus might have the fastest regeneration in the world but it won't ease your worries about the small cuts that still remains on his body.

You tried suppressing your tears seeing him like this but you just can't. As you press the cotton on his cuts, you can't help but open your mouth and nag him about being careless.

“I know you think that this body is invincible, but please be careful! You need to come home to me. You have to come home to me. No matter how I'm annoyed at you right now, you don't have the rights to make me worry like this.”

“What's so important in that mission that you exhaust yourself like this? What's so important about Miss Hunter that you're willing to do such great lengths?"

You know that he can't hear you, but still you talked to him until you calmed down and ask his men to help you settle him in bed after changing him. You called the physician to check him up for anything. You kept yourself busy to shrugg of the nerves but those questions still linger in your head.

Sylus is a strategist even though he looks smug and arrogant. He carefully plans everything and tries to move in quiet only letting the results speak for themselves.

But this? This is not the usual.

Explosions everywhere and declaring a full on war with his enemies is not his style. You know that there's nothing really beneficial for him in this deal with Miss Hunter.

You managed to understand a bit about what their goals are. Getting that Aether core for Miss Hunter.

Tough mission, yes. But Sylus won't grab it if he won't benefit from it. And that's what you're left puzzled with. Sylus is a businessman, everything should be give and take.

So? What's in it for him?

==

You didn't expect the answer to voluntarily come to you. You went to his study to look for something or anything that you can help him with now that he's still unconscious when you stumbled upon a journal.

You thought it was not Sylus's. You never see him as someone who will write down his thoughts but you were dead wrong.

You opened it expecting it to be a list of things related to Onychinus, but you were greeted with phrases, sentences and some sketches about Miss Hunter.

You read each of them, it was a jumble of words. You almost thought it was a fairytale.

Past lives.

Dragon and Sorceress.

Kindred Spirits.

Energy Linkage.

Sweet Evil Trap.

All of it is too much. Too much for your poor little heart to take. And from what you understood, Miss Hunter is from his past. Someone who has a part of his soul.

Someone he waits for.

And the bitter realization although still unfounded, you concluded that maybe she's someone he still loves.

But what about you? What's your place in the grand scheme of things?

“I’m keeping you around because you’re still useful.”

Those lines ring in your ears. Sylus always say that to everyone but you. You thought that maybe you are an exception. That you're not someone disposable to him because you matter.

And as you soak up all the information that you knew, you started to doubt yourself as well.

note: aaackkk thank u for reading lemme know your thoughts! Part 3 soonest!

[fishfission-dc]

Something about how Jason Todd’s core character trait is how he lost faith. He lost faith in Shiela, in Bruce, in the entire concept that someone else can care about him and actually have his best interests at heart.

Something about how Catholic priest Flashpoint Jason Todd is someone who has such intense faith, who trust so heavily in someone basically unprovable. Something about how without Bruce, without being Robin, it was his faith that was his core character trait.

Something about how being Robin and the life he was led into changed him in such a tragic and deep seeded way. I don’t know

[suguru-getos]

୨・┈﹕✦﹕ Kinktober Day 26﹕✦﹕┈・୧

-> Event Masterlist

Yandere Itachi Uchiha x F!Reader -> Breeding

Warnings: Dub!con, yandere themes, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of baby trapping, Stockholm syndrome, manipulative Itachi, pregnancy of breeding!kink. Itachi is still soft because yeah >\\< and fluffy if you squint

It's the ridiculously delectable way, her doe-eyed self cowers down beneath him whenever she loomed in his presence. He adores her, watching her fidget every time Itachi says something, every time he glances at her unmomentarily. She is akin to a deer, and Itachi- a lion, a ruthless, sadistic lion wanting nothing more but to tame his prey, but no- he doesn't just want to prey on her, he wants to love her. He wants her to love him, to subdue everything she can for him.

It's the way he always excuses his behavior with the sentence that chains her neck, boiling down her very core. "It's all to protect you, to keep you safe." When he addresses her as an 'Angel' she loses a little faith in god, because no angel's wings should be pinned down as hers, the way Itachi does it.

No, he does not hurt her, but he does make sure she doesn't hurt herself, sometimes confinement and solitude is the most amicable way to stem down the essence of a punishment and a lesson. Treason, if you will.

He still feels insanity grip the very nerves of his self when she approaches him, slouching as if she'd break if she stood tall. He would break her for standing tall & sniveling at him to let her go. "Hmm, maybe bestowing you with some responsibility will help, you've become quite air-headed, dear Y/N."

Oh, it desolates his perfect, controlled mind when he imagines her tiny self inflated with his seed, having trouble pacing around, needing Itachi with every little beck and call, the vulnerability which will come with her last semester, how she will struggle to hold her urine when the little Uchiha would kick and eagerly wait to see Mother and Father... how adoring.

It starts slow, after months of living together with Itachi, she knows how to read him, how Itachi's eyes glint towards the impending, she wouldn't be unjust, Itachi treats her kindly when he demands something, especially when it needs his fragile, male ego stroked and petted.

So she complies, as he spreads her apart naked, pupils visibly dilated as his gaze turns tender, more subtle. As if she'd break under him, a vile part of him wants to break her instantly. Itachi is a paradox, after all. "It's okay, my angelic little thing." You're doing so well for me. His luscious, long hair tickles her tender breasts as Itachi leans in, kissing her neck, scraping at the sensitive, irritated skin & deviously marking her up. "Oh no, don't cry, I'm going to be gentler." He dotes on her being a sensitive crybaby, can't handle his length, can't handle him.

Oh but the little being Itachi owns, is ferocious on her own, knowing most ardently she has him in her grip, "Wa-ant to go out after this." She manages to barely choke out when Itachi's member ravishes her cunt, thrusting, rutting his hips inside, churning them up to his shape. Itachi couldn't say no to that face, the future mother of his kids. "Anything... Angel."

"Will you let me fill you up?" Itachi asks though she doesn't have any choice but to, Itachi is a master, a sorcerer of illusions and to earn her goodness, to pretend she owns the decision of freedom, ever so fleeting choices that are nothing but a mirage; Itachi loves that.

She nods, biting her lip like an anxious child, the background thoughts all super setting the imagery of her being pregnant, she's too far gone now though. Stockholm Syndrome hugs her every night along with the slender arms of her lover. She wants to please him, simultaneously hating herself for the same as she nods, feeling the thrusts slow down, sloppy and then the warmth of his seed deep inside her gummy walls.

"Nothing, Angel, without you... I'm nothing."

[adviceformefromme]

YOUR RE-SET

So your life isn’t looking and feeling how you envisioned. You see the TikTok and IG girlies living that life. You dream about luxury travel, pilates on a Saturday morning, drinking overpriced green smoothies, driving a sexy car, and living your fullest most authentic life…But in comparison, you’ve grown to mostly hate spending time with your friends, you’ve out grown them and notice how much they complain about life and generally are low vibes, you’ve spent all of this months wages already, and still have 2 weeks left until payday so your bank balance is no way supporting the life you dream of, to add, your dating life is a mess not consisting of your dream guy that provides for you. No, instead it seems too much effort for him to message back, let alone take you to that sexy spa you’re dying to visit. So in short your life is a far cry from what you want. The life you’ve created right now is absolutely not what you would want for yourself for the next year, or even five years. So in order to completely shift from where you are to where you want to be. You need a fucking RE-SET. 

The re-set is basically your metamorphosis. Think of being the caterpillar, heavy, slow sluggish (currently you right now). In order to become a beautiful butterfly you need to completely transform, undo, take time to reorganise so you can re-emerge as nature intended. 

The Re-set might look slightly different for everyone so take what you need from this: 

2-3 months stepping back from the people around you. 

THE CORE ESSENTIALS FOR YOUR RESET - A DAILY PRACTISE  

Meditating daily to clear you mind so you can hear yourself, your own voice and drown out any external noise. (I recommend insight timer app, or mind app both for meditations)

A journal, to document your feelings and emotions, empty your thoughts, and a space where you can become your own best friend and create a connection with yourself. 

Movement. - you need to move your body this is KEY, you might pick up running, stretching at home, pilates, yoga, HIT, whatever it is just fucking do it. Your body needs the movement to replenish its energy and move you out of stagnation. 

Healthy diet. Less alcohol more greens. If it’s processed, if its fizzy, if its sugar, if its cake, if its chocolate, if its ice cream (you get the picture), cut that shit OUT. You need food that supports you, cleanses you, energises you in order to thrive and clear your energy. 

FAITH in something bigger than yourself. If you’re religious, great lean into your faith with prayer, scripture, faith music. If you’re not religious maybe you believe in the universe, the love all around you, faith in something unknown, something guiding you, protecting you, even if you believe this is part of your own psyche - lean into this. Your faith is your support system. Your faith is the unseen that will guide and protect you on this journey. 

The above might seem overwhelming, and it will be if you don’t already incorporate those things into your day already. The worst thing you want to do is try and do everything at once and feel disappointed when you don’t succeed. So start with one thing if that’s all you can manage and focus on doing that one thing consistently and then add from that. 

The purpose of the first 2-3 months is the cleansing. You want to start slowly removing what doesn’t serve you, and start creating space for yourself, your thoughts and visions so you have space to start planting new seeds of the life you want to live. 

What your first steps in your journey might look like: 

Saying no to going out for drinks with friends, instead you go for a long walks in nature listening to an empowering podcast, go home journal and meditate. 

Weekends might look like not seeing friends, maybe even family. Doing exercise, making healthy food, researching recipes, creating a vision board on Pinterest and doing a guiding meditation, affirmations and mirror work. 

Having a prayer practise, reading books/ passages that support you in your journey 

Deleting your social medias or even doing a detox day / weekend so you have a break 

PART 2 - COMING NEXT….(Here)

[daydreamingoveracupofcoffee]

The reaction of the U.A. Students, Class 1-A to their soulmate is a villainess:

Izuku Midoriya:

Izuku would be stunned to learn his soulmate is a villainess. His idealistic view of soulmates—nurtured by his hopeful, All Might-inspired worldview—would make him question how someone destined for him could be on the wrong side. He’d likely mutter to himself, analyzing every detail of the soulmate bond.

Izuku’s core trait is his empathy. He’d dive into understanding why she’s a villain, researching her backstory, motivations, and any injustices that led her down this path. He’d see parallels with others villains and believe she’s not inherently evil. For example, if her villainy stems from pain or betrayal, he’d feel a personal responsibility to reach her.

Izuku would struggle with the conflict between his hero duties and his soulmate bond. He’d confide in All Might or Uraraka, seeking advice on whether he can save her without compromising his principles. Ultimately, he’d resolve to confront her, not to fight, but to offer her a chance at redemption.

“I know there’s good in you. I can feel it because we’re connected.”

Izuku would approach her with kindness, dodging her attacks while pleading for her to open up. He’d risk his safety to prove his faith in her potential, possibly even taking a hit to show he won’t give up. His goal would be to bring her to the hero side, even if it takes years.

Katsuki Bakugo:

Bakugo would be furious upon discovering his soulmate is a villainess. He’d see it as a personal insult to his ambition to be the top hero.

“A villain?! No way in hell my soulmate’s some lowlife!”

He’d initially deny the bond, assuming it’s a mistake or a trick. He might even lash out at anyone who brings it up, like Kirishima.

Beneath his rage, Bakugo would grapple with the soulmate bond’s pull. His pride would clash with an instinctive need to understand her. He’d stalk her battles or interrogate others about her, pretending it’s for hero work but secretly trying to figure out why she was chosen for him. Her strength or defiance might begrudgingly impress him, especially if she matches his intensity.

Bakugo would track her down, ready for a fight. His approach would be aggressive.

“You think you can drag me down with you? I’m gonna win this!”

However, if she taunts him or shows a spark of vulnerability, he’d hesitate. Her ability to stand up to him might earn his respect, planting seeds of doubt about her “villain” label.

Bakugo wouldn’t admit he cares, but he’d become obsessed with defeating her and proving she’s not just a villain. He’d see her as a challenge to his strength and ideals. Over time, he might grudgingly acknowledge her skills or reasons, but he’d never go soft—his goal would be to drag her to the hero side through sheer force of will.

“You’re mine, so you better shape up!”

Shoto Todoroki:

Shoto would react with calm but deep unease when he learns his soulmate is a villainess. His stoic nature would mask his turmoil, but the revelation would hit hard, especially given his complicated family history with villains (Dabi). He’d stare at the soulmate mark or feel the bond’s pull, wondering if fate is mocking him.

Shoto would reflect on what this means for his identity as a hero and his past. He’d draw parallels to his father’s rigid views or his brother’s fall, questioning whether his soulmate is truly irredeemable. He’d approach the situation logically, seeking her out to learn her story rather than jumping to conclusions. When confronting her, Shoto would be reserved but direct.

“Why are you doing this? What made you this way?”

His calm demeanor might unsettle her, especially if she expects hostility. If she reveals a tragic past or a cause she believes in, Shoto would sympathize, seeing echoes of his own struggles with Endeavor’s legacy.

Shoto would aim to understand her without immediately trying to “fix” her. He’d believe in the possibility of change, influenced by his own journey and his mother’s recovery. However, he’d set firm boundaries—if she endangers others, he’d fight her as a hero, but he’d always leave room for dialogue. His long-term hope would be to guide her toward redemption, even if it means facing her as an opponent first.

Eijiro Kirishima:

Kirishima would be shocked but not disheartened to learn his soulmate is a villainess. His "manly" ethos, inspired by Crimson Riot, emphasizes heart and courage, so he’d see this as a challenge to his ideals.

“A villain? That’s rough, but I bet she’s got a good heart deep down!”

He might feel the soulmate bond and take it as a sign to act. Kirishima’s all about understanding people’s struggles, as seen with his support for Bakugo and his own past insecurities. He’d try to learn about her—why she’s a villain, what drives her. If her villainy stems from hardship or feeling outcast, he’d relate, recalling his own doubts about being a hero. He’d likely talk to Mina or Tetsutetsu, hyping himself up to “save her.”

Kirishima would approach her with enthusiasm and sincerity, hardening his body to block her attacks while grinning.

“Hey, we’re soulmates! Let’s talk this out!”

He’d try to appeal to her better nature, emphasizing that she doesn’t have to be alone. If she mocks his optimism, he’d double down, refusing to give up on her.

Kirishima would see her as someone worth fighting for, not against. He’d work tirelessly to show her a “manly” path to redemption, even if it means taking hits or looking uncool. His unwavering belief in her potential could wear down her defenses, especially if she’s drawn to his genuine heart.

Denki Kaminari:

“A villainess?! No way, I’m supposed to get a cute hero girlfriend!”

Denki would freak out when he realizes his soulmate is a villainess, probably short-circuiting from stress. He’d joke about it to hide his nerves, maybe whining to Sero or Jiro about how unfair it is. The soulmate bond would make him jittery but curious.

Denki’s not the most serious guy, but he’s got a good heart. He’d be torn between fear of her villain status and intrigue about who she is. He’d probably stalk her on social media (if she has any) or ask Kirishima for advice on being “cool” about it. If she’s charismatic or flirty, he’d be flustered, thinking:

“Okay, she’s kinda hot, but villain!”

Denki’s approach would be awkward but earnest. He’d try to play it cool, tossing out cheesy lines like, “So, uh, soulmate, huh? Wanna ditch the villain gig and grab ramen?” If she attacks, he’d zap back defensively, yelping, “I’m not good at this!” Her reaction—whether she teases him or shows a softer side—would determine how bold he gets.

Denki would struggle with the hero-villain divide but lean on his friends for support. He’d try to charm her into switching sides, using humor and kindness to break through her walls. If she shows any hint of goodness, he’d latch onto it. His laid-back vibe might unexpectedly disarm her over time.

“See? I knew you weren’t all bad!”

Hanta Sero:

Sero would be surprised but take it in stride, keeping his cool.

“A villainess? That’s… unexpected, but I’ll figure it out.”

He’s level-headed and adaptable, so he’d accept the soulmate bond as something to work with. He’d probably joke with Kaminari about their “bad luck” but stay focused.

Sero’s not as intense as Bakugo or as emotional as Midoriya, so he’d approach the situation practically. He’d gather intel on her—her quirks, motives, and crimes—while reflecting on what the soulmate bond means. If her villainy is driven by circumstance (poverty or betrayal), he’d sympathize.

“Life’s not black-and-white.”

Sero would engage her with a mix of caution and charm, using his tape quirk to swing around and keep distance.

“So, you’re my soulmate? Gotta say, you’re making my job complicated.”

He’d try to reason with her, appealing to her logic or any shared connection from the bond. If she’s defiant, he’d stay calm, dodging attacks and looking for an opening to connect.

Sero would play the long game, believing he can sway her through persistence and understanding. He’d show her he’s reliable, not judgmental, hoping to build trust. If she’s redeemable, he’d work to bring her to the hero side; if not, he’d reluctantly accept they’re enemies but still feel the bond’s pull, making it bittersweet.

Ochaco Uraraka:

Uraraka would be deeply shaken to learn her soulmate is a villainess. Her warm, optimistic view of soulmates—likely tied to her dreams of a brighter future—would make this feel like a betrayal of her hopes. She’d clutch the soulmate mark and tear up.

“How could my soulmate be someone who hurts others?”

She’d confide in Midoriya or Iida for support. Uraraka’s drive to help others, rooted in her desire to ease her parents’ burdens, would push her to understand the villainess’s reasons. If the villainess’s actions stem from poverty or desperation, Uraraka would relate strongly, thinking: “I could’ve ended up like her if things were different.” She’d see this as a chance to “save” her soulmate, much like she admires Midoriya’s heroism.

Uraraka would approach the villainess with determination but kindness, using her quirk to evade attacks while pleading:

“You don’t have to do this! We’re connected for a reason!”

If the villainess mocks her optimism, Uraraka would stand firm, showing her resolve. Her earnestness might catch the villainess off guard, especially if Uraraka shares her own struggles to connect.

Uraraka would hold onto hope, believing the soulmate bond means the villainess has good in her. She’d work tirelessly to show her a better path, even risking herself to protect her from other heroes. Her goal would be redemption, driven by the belief that “no one’s too far gone,” especially her soulmate.

Tsuyu Asui:

Tsuyu would be surprised but maintain her composure upon discovering her soulmate is a villainess. Her straightforward, level-headed nature would keep her from panicking.

“This is complicated, kero, but I’ll deal with it.”

She’d process her feelings privately, maybe discussing it with Tokoyami or Midoriya. Tsuyu’s pragmatic mindset would lead her to investigate the villainess’s motives and backstory. She’d consider whether the villainess is driven by ideology, trauma, or necessity, drawing on her own experience of staying grounded despite challenges. Tsuyu’s empathy, seen in her care for her siblings and classmates, would make her open to understanding rather than judging.

Tsuyu would approach the villainess calmly, using her frog-like agility to dodge attacks while keeping the conversation focused.

“You’re my soulmate, kero. I want to know why you’re doing this.”

Her blunt honesty might disarm the villainess, and Tsuyu would look for any sign of remorse or doubt to build on. If the villainess is hostile, Tsuyu would prioritize protecting others but leave the door open for dialogue.

Tsuyu would take a steady, patient approach, believing the soulmate bond suggests a chance for change. She’d try to build trust through small, consistent acts of kindness, like protecting the villainess from harm during battles. If redemption isn’t possible, Tsuyu would accept it with quiet sadness but never fully sever the emotional tie.

Mina Ashido:

“No way, my soulmate’s a villainess?! That’s so not cool!”

Her vibrant, upbeat personality would make her see the soulmate bond as a wild twist. She’d rant to Kirishima, half-joking about how her “epic love story” got so messy, but her excitement would mask genuine concern.

Mina’s outgoing nature and belief in second chances (seen in her support for her friends) would drive her to learn about the villainess. She’d be intrigued if the villainess has a bold or charismatic edge.

“Okay, she’s kinda awesome, even if she’s bad!”

If the villainess’s actions come from feeling outcast or misunderstood, Mina would relate, given her own quirky appearance and past insecurities. Mina would dive into the encounter with energy, using her acid quirk to slide around and keep things light.

“Yo, soulmate! Wanna ditch the evil vibe and dance with me instead?”

If the villainess is aggressive, Mina would match her intensity but keep trying to connect, throwing in humor to break the tension. Her infectious positivity might throw the villainess off balance.

Mina would treat the villainess like a friend she hasn’t won over yet, refusing to give up. She’d invite her to see the fun, heroic side of life, believing her soulmate just needs the right push. If the villainess shows any spark of goodness, Mina would amplify it. Even if redemption takes time, Mina’s relentless cheer would keep the hope alive.

“See? You’re totally hero material!”

[utilitycaster]

What faith do you have in the future of Exandria as a setting? One reason the finale has bothered me so much is that established Exandrian lore seems to not make sense anymore. The world no longer feels real and so I find myself not having confidence in future stories told there. When I brought this up to others they said that history was written by the victors, aka the Gods. But in reality it was Matt Mercer in published source books and a 10 minute video. So what hope for future stories?

Here's the thing: I do not actually feel like Exandrian lore was changed significantly. I think the resulting character beats for Bells Hells/some Crown Keepers/Vax are for the most part incoherent, but actually, all of the made-up bullshit that people claimed in fandom to support their idea of how the campaign would go (about which they were largely wrong) or, after the fact, the campaign ended? Absolutely none of it confirmed. We have absolutely zero proof that people would have rounded up Ruidusborn and slaughtered them and indeed, the fact that Liliana is just bopping around Exandria on her gap year without so much as a slap on the wrist serves as proof positive that this is probably not what they'd have done. Vasselheim has not to our knowledge lashed out. The Ruidians are being welcomed by a number of people across the world. The gods are still deeply important and frankly that lore with the Luxon/gods becoming mortal was even seeded in past campaigns/Downfall. My issue isn't really any of the core lore here; it's that all of this kind of popped up in the last 5 episodes because Bells Hells were too busy exploring the crevices of their own colons with their heads to formulate a plan, and then when they showed up having ignored everything their many, many benefactors had done for them and were rude besides everyone simply stood aside. Hell, those people who told you that history was written on the victors probably thought Bells Hells would be on the run forever as late as episode 120, and were expecting a post-apocalyptic Exandria as late as episode 117 or so. They are stupid, and if they are your friends you should find smarter ones. But anyway the actual lore of Exandria is basically entirely intact or was changed in a way that was shown onscreen. If you have specific things you feel were ignored, let me know, but the problem wasn't the worldbuilding; it was that Bells Hells were granted foot-thick unjustified plot armor.

So with that in mind it's fine. I think my desire for a new setting is more just that like, this campaign really feels like they've gotten too precious with Exandria and were too afraid to do anything drastic or let people like. die. or in severe cases, stay dead. But my complaints about the lore are much more that like, the Apex War was clearly supposed to mean something and no one in the party gave a shit; not that the lore itself was incoherent.

[weirdducky17]

⛧ Shepherd Leading The Blind ⛧

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

As his vision darkened around its edges and sockets ached in a dull repetition, he could not help himself from silently cursing at his elder brother from whence his eyes were gouged out. The phantom pain of feeling them being pried out of his skull haunted him day by day, the culprit slept not too far from his own tent in this damned cult.

He could only mourn the sensation of being able to properly see, his crown only being able to suppress his agony and delay his visual impairment. Now his crown replaced by cotton felt bandages to merely hide his disfigurement, his green envy barely showed on his expression. His godhood lingering in how he must carry himself, head high with no weaknesses visible to exploit.

He was the God of Chaos.

Now rendered as the blind and weak bishop, the first to fall from the Lamb's blade.

Yet even as his gaze was muddled by blurry images of followers meandering around his form, his other senses were sharpened. His hearing, sense of smell and taste seemingly enhanced to make up for his lack of vision. He could recognize the scents of every follower that carried delicious meals to and from the kitchen , the heavy footfalls of the workers constructing the newest lamp posts people kept chiming about.

Everything was clear to him.

Everything was something familiar.

Comforting. Peaceful. Quiet.

... Safe.

Was that something he can even indulge in? Was he allowed to bask in such undeserved tranquility that was reserved to the ones with such a pure faith in their own God? He's lived for many millennia, even as their reality as other worldly beings weighed heavy as the crown that once sat atop their heads.

He used to be happy once.

A Monster like him.

Can he experience that happiness once more?

The scent of blessed pine and the subtle hint of death overpowered the masses that surrounded him. Other scents dulled to make way for this special one. His branches twitched at the soft footfalls of hooves crunching against the cobblestone path, heading in his direction. The soft jingle of a bell rang out. The gentle yet firm touch of a hoof rested upon his clawed hand that held crushed seeds within his fingers. Their mere godly presence dulling the ache of his sockets.

"Lovely morning, Leshy. Has my radiance blessed this day of a bountiful harvest?" A teasing tone yet held an air of reverence in every word they spoke.

". . . And may your brilliance nourish our crops to provide an abundance of fresh produce to further our flock's survival." A soft giggle left them.

"I'm glad someone can match my energy on such a peaceful day."

"Do not get ahead of yourself, Little Lamb..."

"No need to worry thyself about how I may casually address you. After all you are my follower, I am your Leader. I am a person you can rely on, dear Leshy."

"Anyway! The camellias I managed to harvest from Darkwood are growing nicely in my personal garden and I just happened to prepare some tea for two, would you be a dear and join me to 'Smell the Roses'?"

"Do I have a choice in the matter, My Leader?"

"Nope!"

"I see..."

Even has his vision darkens and warps to incomprehensible shapes only he could bear witness too, he could only mentally scold himself as his clawed hands clasped around the Lamb's dainty arm. The pads of his fingers grazing across the many scars and mangled skin left by the many foes they threw at this determined creature, a testament to their strength and courage.

Soft. Gentle. Kind.

So Kind to the very core, even if the way they held themselves were the exact opposite.

He could not help himself from feeling that green envy once more, gnawing at his mortal soul. It was not a surprise that the red crown got so attached to this Little Lamb.

He could feel a sharpened dagger like gaze directed at his back, it was not any jealous loyalists that revered the Lamb with the utmost respect. Nor was it that damned spider, Webber, that was highly favored in the cult grounds. This was much different, familiar even. The same gaze that cursed him to death.

Narinder.

... pfftt—

He could eat his heart out. The Little Lamb chose Him to accompany them after all, not phased by his elder brother's poisonous glares.

The smallest bit of happiness bloomed in Leshy's repulsive, mortal soul.

[inafieldofdaisies]

Far Cry 5 (2018) | Scenery appreciation (vol. 45)

“Are you gonna judge me based on what they say?”

[fornasedensgudar]

A while back ago I had a lil rant about the pagan/heathen/witch community and made this list with my friend about some problematic aspects about our craft/faith/practise or what ever you call it to help pepole who are new to it.

Idk if it any of worth or if anyone will bother to read all this but I hope its somehow helpfull for you new ones to this path.

(Pardon my 🇬🇧, im a 🇸🇪)

1. Not every polytheist does magic or has an intrest in it and thats ok.

2. Not every norse heathen knows runes or has to know every Rune and meanings to have a meaningfull relation to the gods and nature.

3. Not every raven is a sign of Odin, sometimes it just means you saw a raven and thats just as good if not better if you ask me.

4. Being able to quote havamal in old norse or know every myth and kenning of the gods is good. But does not mean you have a stronger spirital connection the land and the gods then those who dont know it all. It just means you are good at reading. And that in it self is something you should take pride in.

5. A good acorn and some dirt is just as good if not better than any long ritual with ancient chantings sourounded by a collection of crystals.

6. The pebble you find on a walk can shine just as fine on your altar, as the amethyst that was mined and payed for.

7. Your altar dont have to look Nice, it just need to feel Nice.

8. An offering dont have to be big to work. It just have to mean something.

9. Offering one loaf of bread you baked with your own two hands, is worth more than five loafs you payed somone to bake.

10. Just because a pebble dont have a story, does not mean it never had one. And just because a star has a story, does not mean its a good one.

11. If all nature is holy, that includes the parts you dont like or find nasty. Yes even ticks and spiders, mud and horrnets. No one said you had to like holy things.

12. Your body is a temple yes, but you and only you decides what rites and offerings are right the god within said temple.

13. You can still be a drunk horny ape and be spiritual.

14. No illustration of the gods is more corect or more true to their form.

But then there is no garantee everyone will see who its meant to be. And thats ok.

15. Doing spirtual junk and practise magic or healing does not make you more enlightened...

16. Just because you wrote a book about magic, healing and spiritual matters, does not make it a good book or you a good author.

17. Just because someone you look up to said it, does not make it more right. It just means they said it.

18. Making this list to remind the pagan/witch/heathen community to hummble them selfs does not make me better. Im also doing this to just remind myself. Im not better or wiser than any of you lot.

19. Dont ever expect to have your craft respected if you dont give that same respect back to others.

20. It does not matter how old or big your coven or group is. If it has toxic and harmfull parts that clearly hurt and or make pepole unhappy. Then its ok to criticize it. Age or size does not make it untuchble.

21. If a craft or faith says its all about nature but cant change its ways, then it has clearly missed a very important thing about how nature works.

22. Every rock is an altar and every forest is a temple.

23. For every horn of mead you offer to the gods, you should plant at least one seed.

24. If all in this world has a spirit and is alive, does not mean you cant take space and exist and live in it.

25. Its not about beliving. Its about to experience and to perceive. That if you ask me, is the core of animism and polytheism.

[fazedlight]

Why am I obsessed with the rift?

From my first fic to the many many many many season 5 fics I've written, to the fic where the whole thing could've been averted in season 2, to my no-villain-era-for-Lena in season 3 (twice) and season 4 fics......... I seem to have developed a bit of a rift pattern.

A reasonable person might ask: Why?

There's something that itches in my mind: I think either woman would've been fully justified in walking away from their friendship, and yet they ultimately didn't.

It starts with Kara, who is ultimately a fractured person. She deeply values the truth, and yet she's forced to live with various lies, unable to be her full self.

Her identity is in the in-betweens. She feels adrift between two cultures, she knows her alien state while reaping the privilege of passing, she hides core aspects of herself on a daily basis. I'm sucked into the rift, in part, because of who she is and how she struggles to put it all together. I think her frustration will resonate with anyone who's stuck in the in-betweens.

Kara's struggle for identity plants the seed for the rift. The bigotry of society meant she had to have a secret identity in the first place, and keeping the secret from Lena was certainly reasonable for a time.

We can debate endlessly about when Kara should've told Lena - I think it's really hard to find the line between "too soon" and "too late" - but it ultimately doesn't matter. Because it's Kara's kneejerk reaction to Lena's kryptonite that forms the first sort of betrayal, not the secret itself.

Kara screws up - she says something she regrets, she doubles down when threatened and scared. These are common mistakes... but we have super-level circumstances, so we get super-level consequences. And the engine she has inside her that fears loss (which she's suffered to a level that is unimaginable to anyone on Earth) kicks in. She can't lose another person she loves.

But who is she holding onto?

In the series, and in flashbacks, we watch Lena's progression from idealistic techie to cynical recluse. While she's experienced loss and isolation, that's not the cause of her shift.

It's in experiencing her idol and protector become the madman who kidnaps her. It's in realizing her best friend has betrayed her by taking the one thing that could've saved her brother. It's in moving to a new city to start over, and meeting a mentor who uses her to start a global invasion. It's in her partner in scientific discovery being a pawn to her brother, colluding behind her back.

And then there's the final downfall. Her new best friend - her trusted confidant, her hero, the one who made her feel not so alone anymore - is the super who denigrated her, maligned her, spied on her. Lena had two important people in her life at that point, and she sacrificed one for the other... only to find out the other was a lie.

With betrayal after betrayal - Lex and Andrea and Rhea and Eve and Kara - she loses faith that anyone is above their worst impulses.

So she falls to her own.

How can good people do bad things?

There's a saying I heard around MIT sometimes: there are no technical solutions to social problems. It's easy to forget - when you're surrounded by people seeking to improve the world via science and engineering - that you can't solve humanity via technology or logic or rules. Lena forgot this.

Myriad marks a shift in the rift. Kara lied to Lena, antagonized her, spied on her - but her wrongs were directed towards Lena. Lena's initial response - the petty manipulation and the plan to out Kara - were directed back at Kara.

But then the rift fundamentally shifts.

At this point, Lena's wrongs are no longer just about Kara - she's trying to brainwash the world. She mindcontrolled Malefic and enslaved Eve. This went beyond the fallout between two friends.

It's clear that her intentions are still good here. She's not a megalomaniac like her brother, she's not forming an us-vs-them mentality like her stepmother. She's an anti-villain at this point in the story - desperate to find what's true, in a world full of lies.

It's a hard line to walk, acknowledging Lena's trauma and well-intentioned motivations while realizing she's still ultimately culpable for her own actions. But it's important to try to balance, because Lena is still redeemable.

But getting back to the relationship itself - Kara played a large role in pushing Lena to the edge of her trauma, which was entirely motivated by Kara's own trauma.

You hide things so you don’t lose people. I run from people who hide things. I guess we were bound to explode.

Lena says this in my first fic mentioned earlier, and it summarizes the rift as succinctly as I can put it. Their traumas were incompatible, and their relationship should've failed.

And yet.

Delving into how the CW screwed up the rift could be its own essay. They gave us a complex and layered situation, only to gut it with It's a Super Life (beloved/beloathed), the narrative retroactively justifying Kara instead of examining her foils, glossing over Lena instead of delving into her ethical blindspots. The rift was cancelled.

What does that leave us with?

Well, I guess it left me seeking the rift, over and over again. I'm certainly not the first author to do a rift fic, and I doubt I'll be the last. There seem to be a few different approaches:

Some authors delve into the nuance, having the two characters hash out what they've been through in a way that feels balanced and real. In particular, I love the @searidings fic with the birds i'll share this lonely view. I don't think I have the skill to pull off that type of story.

Some writers lean heavily on one "side" or the other, often with lots of grovelling. This never resonates with me, because at some point in a relationship there has to be the realization that it's "us vs. the problem", rather than "you vs. me". In my mind, these fics miss the layers of trauma that led to the rift.

Some authors make the rift not matter. If you put the characters through hell and back, the anger will lose its thrust, and they'll be left wanting to heal.

I fall into the last category.

There's a moment from permanence by @itllsetyoufree that I especially love, where - in the aftermath of season 6 - Eliza asks Lena why she forgave Kara. Lena can't answer.

We like to think we're logically driven. But in my experience, forgiveness - and a host of other emotions - never work that way. Sometimes "sorry" cuts it, sometimes it doesn't. A lot of times, forgiveness comes from the realization that someone genuinely wants to connect, and that the fallout was relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

Of course, when your fallout includes extra levels of gaslighting and a bit of global brainwashing, making it relatively unimportant requires something drastic.

That's where I end up landing. Putting my blorbos in Situations helps them see the other in a new light - see the other's genuineness, the other's fears, the other's love. Often times, this comes with the simultaneous threat to someone's life (though that's not necessary, especially if it's earlier in Lena's breaking point cutoff).

I do assume - and sometimes imply - that they're also having those discussions, working things out in the background. Because of what I put them through in my fics, I don't think those end up being explosive discussions. It's about figuring out the practical aftermath of what the heart already knows at that point.

Whether I deliver on that is ultimately up to the reader, but that's my approach. Because at the end of the day, love is about cherishing and understanding the person in front of you - flaws and and traumas in all. These stories are driven by loving both characters, and trying to see them the way they see each other.

The rift is a story about love and connection - how those things can't happen without embracing someone else's trauma and without understanding one's own imperfection. Because that's what's at the root of all of us.

And that's why I write the rift.

[seaofthesoul]

🪷 The Lotus Flower in Mysterious Lotus Casebook 🪷

i. Growing Deep Roots

As noted by difeisheng, Li Xiangyi is an image more than he is a person. He’s the “symbol” and “beating heart” of the Sigu sect; “he embodies everything [the sect] stands for” and “has become one with every person he represents” in his role as a leader. As such, one might say he doesn’t exist as an individual who’s allowed the luxury of flawed, fluid humanity. Rather, he’s fixed into an object: a shield protecting those under his care, a mirror reflecting those he’s taken upon himself to be the champion for.  

While a heavy burden to carry, this identity as image is also shown to be brittle, hollow, like a hazy mirage which is more dazzling appearance than substance. Even Fang Duobing introduces Li Xiangyi to Li Lianhua by showing him a painting of his shifu — ink on a page, a person turned into a hero to be worshipped and idolated. 

Li Lianhua, over the ten years that pass after the Great Battle of the East Sea, works to plant and cultivate a new identity in the same way one might grow flowers. Li Lianhua forms deep roots and grows out of the mythical hero’s shell he’d been carrying as Li Xiangyi, thus developing an identity which is solid and grounding in contrast — an identity which involves “walk[ing] within a crowd instead of [soaring] above it.”

This shift from image to person is itself rooted in the lotus mantra (written by Buddhist Layman Pang during the Tang Dynasty) which Li Xiangyi first encounters after monk Wu Liao rescues him:

一念心清净 莲花处处开

The heart attains peace with a single thought; Lotus flowers bloom all around.

Although the exact timeline is left to interpretation, it’s implied that the lotus mantra operates as a catalyst of change for Li Xiangyi and that he changes his name to Li Lianhua after reading it. Now what is it about it that speaks to Li Xiangyi so deeply in that moment? As noted in 《 人間福報 》, the lotus mantra teaches us that a pure heart will result in an open and enlightened mind. One subtle, profound thought rife with compassion is enough for a person to glimpse Buddha in a flower, a leaf, a grain of sand or a speck of dust. In short, “if you can find peace within yourself, then you will find peace everywhere.” Perhaps Li Xiangyi, at his lowest point, finds solace in the prospect of stripping his life down to its very core and searching for purity, wisdom and peace within his troubled heart.    

By renaming himself 莲花/liánhuā lotus flower, Li Lianhua takes his destiny into his own hands; he empowers himself into reshaping his identity and laying down the foundations for the person he wants to become. Similarly to The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity which tells us that “names are the shortest spells in the world,” Li Lianhua’s new name functions as a spell which speaks a new him into existence. It’s a deliberate choice, a conscious attempt at breaking free from the suffocating shell Li Xiangyi was trapped in and become a person of his own choosing. 

The act of (re)naming notably also extends to Li Lianhua’s abode which he dubs 莲花楼 “Lotus Tower.” In addition to this significant choice of name, it’s interesting to note that Li Lianhua starts growing vegetables inside Lotus Tower when he’s left with nothing after his demise at the East Sea and is facing starvation. As such, his home is quite literally a site not only of self-sustenance and survival, but also of growth — a growth which requires hard work, patience and faith and nearly brings Li Lianhua to tears when his hopes are finally rewarded and the seeds he planted begin sprouting. The act of physically planting vegetables and learning to cook those vegetables speaks of a refreshing and grounding simplicity — of something disarmingly vulnerable and human after playing the role of a god-like figure. Li Lianhua has sweat on his brow and hope in his heart; he plants seeds, watches them grow and keeps himself alive by his own hands.

It seems it’s not only Li Lianhus’a home, but also his very person, which steadily grow into a lotus flower. Li Lianhua wears a variety of hairpins directly linked to the lotus, and the colour coding of his garments moves from the red he used to wear as Li Xiangyi to a lighter palette filled with greens and blues — colours which are more obviously linked to nature.

ii. Life Borrowed and Given Away

The lotus, both traditionally and within the drama itself, is closely connected to the theme of rebirth. On a literal level, the exotic lotus flowers of Cai Lian Manor grow directly from the corpses of the victims drowned in the pond, thus embodying life born from death. thawrecka writes in their story that Li Lianhua is “nothing but a lotus nurtured by a walking corpse, a body that doesn’t realise it should already be dead.” On a figurative level, the lotus grows in muddy water but blooms unsullied every morning, thus symbolising rising from a dark place and growing into something beautiful and colourful despite all the odds. The different stages of the lotus’ blooming can be taken to represent the beginning, middle and end of a spiritual path in Buddhism — a parallel to the theme of 趟/tāng taking a journey which underscores the drama in various ways.

Li Lianhua’s journey, more specifically, is that of a lotus being reborn. The soundtrack piece 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine” emphasises this connection in the following lines:

问一句莲花的悲喜 断一柄弃剑入青泥

I ask about the joys and sorrows of the lotus; A broken, abandoned sword is thrown into the mud.

Not only does Li Lianhua keep stressing at different points of the drama that Li Xiangyi is dead and all that is left behind is Li Lianhua; he even breaks his own sword Shaoshi at the end of the story, thereby physically reenacting a process of destruction—death—and rebirth. As Li Lianhua writes in his farewell letter: 

剑断人亡

My sword is broken, and I will be gone.

The significance of Li Lianhua’s action is further intensified here by the fact that the sword in the song is said to be thrown into 泥/ní mud, the site from which a lotus flower grows.

Considering that Shaoshi operates as a device embodying Li Lianhua’s character development throughout the drama, the fact that Li Lianhua decides to break it in the last episode should be taken as a key moment in which he chooses how his own narrative is going to end. Li Lianhua decides to kill for good the glorious image of Li Xiangyi which has become sullied with pain and regret in his heart, so that a simple, fragile peace can begin growing in its place like a lotus flower amidst the mud.

However, the tragedy of Li Lianhua’s narrative is that the rebirth he works to achieve for all these years is not his own to enjoy and never was intended to be. After the Great Battle of the East Sea, as Li Lianhua is reborn from Li Xiangyi and starts planting seeds all around him, he has already accepted that he’s nothing but a ghost, “wandering in the jianghu to close his loose ends and finally [...] vanish without a trace, not even a body left behind.” As mx-myth remarks, even the shift in his garment colours to an overwhelming amount of white as the story progresses makes it clear that he’s resigned to go and has “already started dressing for his own funeral.” 

The lotus flower symbolism permeating the narrative accentuates this bone-deep, unshakable resignation. While imprisoned by Jiao Liqiao, Li Lianhua is full of an aching, bittersweet fatalism when he recites a section of Guan Hanqing’s《 窦娥冤 》“The Injustice to Dou E”:

花有重开日 人无再少年 不须长富贵 安乐是神仙

Flowers will blossom again, But a man can never be young again. Seek not eternal wealth; You only need to be content.

Independently from the original meaning of the lines written by Guan Hanqing, the words seem to take on a sad, wistful quality when spoken with a bitter smile by Li Lianhua. In this scene, while the speaker reflects that rebirth occurs outside of themselves in flowers, they acknowledge that their own reality is one inevitably bound to end in old age and decay. Instead of looking forward to a bright future, the speaker doesn’t express any dreams nor ambitions and is only grateful that they’re alive this minute, this second, without any future prospects awaiting them. Perhaps a similar sentiment is reflected in the following lines from 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine”:

了了心事只 不负众生 而已

After settling my worries,  I just want to live up to all sentient beings.

Li Lianhua’s connection to the lotus flower, in fact, was always meant to be one of non-attachment. While Buddhism believes desire to be the root of all suffering, the lotus symbolises non-attachment due to being “rooted in mud (attachment and desire)” while “its flowers blossom on long stalks unsullied by the mud below.” This explains in part why the lotus is considered pure and noble. For Li Lianhua, this non-attachment takes on sorrowful connotations: it means that he stubbornly refuses to reap the seeds he sows and focuses his purest heart and will into ensuring those around him get to reap them instead. Non-attachment means allowing himself enough (a roof over his head, food on his plate) to survive, but rarely letting himself indulge in the precious luxuries of reciprocated love and care — of carefree joy and thirst for adventure.  

The ten years he lives after his first death at the East Sea are, for him, only borrowed time he didn’t deserve — borrowed time not dedicated to himself, but rather dedicated to others.

In many ways, Li Lianhua’s path effectively goes full-circle by the end of the narrative. When he and Di Feisheng reminisce about the moon they remember from ten years ago, they conclude that today’s moon isn’t any brighter than the one alive in their memory: rather, it remains constant, unchanged, as though the past ten years never existed as anything other than a short pause in the story, a coma, long enough for wrongs to be righted but not for an already-dead person’s fate to be changed.

It’s interesting and particularly significant that the Styx flower (忘川花, from 忘川 “River of Forgetting” in the original Mandarin) is said throughout the drama to be the only thing capable of saving Li Lianhua’s life. In traditional Chinese culture, the Styx or River of Forgetting is part of the process of reincarnation; only by crossing it (and forgetting everything they’ve ever experienced and everyone they’ve ever loved) can a person finally reincarnate. For Li Lianhua, salvation through rebirth comes at a high cost — a price he’s evidently been ready to pay since the beginning, even if it means turning him into a ghost who must vanish from the story in order for those around him to grow and thrive further.

When Li Lianhua breaks his own sword to allow for rebirth, it’s not himself he’s saving. His sole purpose throughout his journey as Li Lianhua is to use whatever meagre strength he has left, whatever passion and drive are still alive in him, to save the world in any small ways that he can. He becomes a doctor who heals people; he looks for answers and solves mysteries to atone for the sins he thinks he has committed and rectify the mistakes he thinks he has made, so that those he has hurt can finally find peace and comfort.

The most powerful legacy Li Lianhua intends to leave behind by the end of the story has nothing to do with himself and everything to do with the people around him who he never truly admits he loves — the messy, imperfect world that’s caused him so much pain but that he nevertheless insists on saving with everything he has. 

Most strikingly, Li Lianhua chooses—whether consciously or not—to leave the life and future he’s renounced for himself to his companions Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng. The only traces he purposefully leaves behind live in them: in the Yangzhouman coursing through Fang Duobing’s body; the home, dog and recipe book he passes onto him; the worthy opponent he leaves for Di Feisheng to fight in his stead after he’s gone… 

Fang Duobing, by the end of the story, has grown into more than a disciple and a friend to Li Xiangyi/Li Lianhua: he himself has become the lotus flower bringing renewed life after Li Lianhua has left the narrative, thereby taking Li Lianhua’s legacy into a hopeful, vibrant future. As mx-myth mentions in their colour analysis, Fang Duobing notably wears bright pastel tones including a large amount of green/blue — a colour coding which emphasises Fang Duobing’s connection to spring and, by extension, new life and beginnings. “Life will always go on if there’s spring”; and so Fang Duobing’s youth, vitality and optimism can grow in the empty space left behind by Li Lianhua after he fades into the autumn of his life.

While Li Lianhua’s predominantly light colour palette might appear to align him with other characters in the drama who have left the past behind and are looking towards the future, Li Lianhua made peace long ago with the knowledge that he’s destined not to belong in that future. Just as the Lotus Sutra teaches us that “the inner determination of an individual has great transformative power” and “gives ultimate expression to the infinite potential and dignity inherent in each human life,” Li Lianhua focuses all his transformative efforts on creating a future which, despite having no place for him, will be fertile ground for the entire martial arts world to grow deep, healthy roots. In Li Lianhua’s own words:

幼芽生枝 新木长成 武林也一样 这未来如何 谁又能说得清楚呢

The young sprouts and the new trees grow. The martial arts world is the same. What does the future hold? Who can say clearly?

Should we say, then, that Li Lianhua’s story is one of sacrifice, self-renunciation and resignation — of drifting inevitably towards death as a flower carried by a stream? As he disappears on a boat and is asked where he’s going, Li Lianhua gives a response which echoes his first death at the East Sea in a way that feels entirely deliberate:

小舟从此逝， 江海寄余生

From now on I would vanish with my little boat; For the rest of my life on the sea I would float. 

How are we to understand a person being reborn simply so they can pass on that new life to others, and being convinced that their only true value lies in their death?

Perhaps, in spite of it all, we can find some small comfort in the knowledge that, no matter how sorrowful Li Lianhua’s fate, it’s at least one that he chooses — one that he has full control over, even poisoned and robbed of his life force as he is. As the lyrics of 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine” underline, “it’s just a matter of picking an ending that you like.” Perhaps that’s all that truly matters. 

wuxia-vanlifer makes an excellent point when asking: “What would be more tragic? That he never believed he was loved? Or that he did, but vanished anyway?” While I don’t have an answer to offer, there’s one thing I can say. Li Xiangyi, Li Lianhua — they live and die by love. They can’t conceive of themselves as anything other than a sacrificial tool because, for all that they pretend to be aloof and untethered, they actually love others—and the world—in a bone-deep, profound way they’ve never loved themselves. That love is not only the true driving force behind Li Lianhua’s character and the fate he chooses: it’s the beating heart of the entire drama.

“In this life, I have loved and I have been loved. That is enough.”

Shoutout to the following authors and bloggers whose brilliant words and ideas inspire me, as well as this gorgeous video 💖

ao3: @extraordinarilyextreme @thawrecka

tumblr: @difeisheng @extraordinarilyextreme @mx-myth @wuxia-vanlifer @xinyuehui

[templeof-demeter]

Demeter: Beneath the Earth Part 2, Dionysus

Demeter can often be seen as one dimensional when looking at a “modern re-telling” version of her Homeric Hymn. I’ve encountered many people outside the faith who, if they even know of her, know of her as a strict and prudish mother.

We know that is far from the truth, from her holidays and hymn encouraging crude jokes and language, to her affair with mortal man, her lack of being married in it all (though debated), and her cults likely uses of hallucinogenic drugs, she is far from prudish.

Come in Dionysus, one who is seen as perhaps her polar opposite in modern interpretation. Many see him as a God of pure ecstasy, of partying of lively drinking, and of being a bit lazy in other fields. This also is far from true- friend of the Temple @thedansemacabres made a post about a year ago about Dionysus Hestios, an obscure epithet of Dionysus that shows us his association with home and hearth. And while this may be more presumptive, I also believe that he has a “cozy” side because of the connections to wine and relaxation. Either way, he has many traits that are not well known too modern media.

They both, like all of the Gods, have many aspects to acknowledge and personality to spare. We see duality in many of them; Apollo with plague and medicine being a great example. I believe this is because nature is full of oppositional forces, and the Gods exemplify and guide nature. Nature allows for wind to calm us, or to destroy cities, for example. This is just like the Gods, who in mythology aided us, but also could destroy us.

Demeter and Dionysus are, in my perspective, heavily intertwined. We can see in agricultural holidays that they are both worshipped together- Demeter receiving the first crops, first vegetables, and Dionysus receiving the first grapes or first fruits. In conjunction with their agricultural associations, they both are deities of fertility.

The pairing of Dionysus and Demeter is not uncommon, given the agricultural connections to both deities, a point reinforced by the title Karpios (deriving from karpos ‘fruit’) given o Dionysus. The cult of both deities, it is often states, was very popular in Thessaly..

Religion and Society in Ancient Thessaly by Maria Mili

At their cores, Dionysus and Demeter are both deities of agriculture, and have been connected by this string since this beginning. This is what ties them together the most, and Dionysus’s worship in agriculture is often overlooked in favor of his place in society and culture as the God of Wine and Ecstasy- and please do not misunderstand, these are vital parts of him and are deserving of all their celebrations. I believe that the specific ties to agriculture deserve just as much recognition, he is not just the God of consuming wine, but the God of its creation from grape to wine.

Haloa is a festival that honors Demeter and Dionysus as gods of harvest and fertility. This festival ties them by fertility- the event was celebrated with a feast, genitalia shaped cakes, dancing, and ritual obscenity. This ties into the “fun” side of Demeter that also deserves it’s recognition, her duality is just as important as any others and it is very prevalent in history and mythology. And as a fertility rite, it was likely not just of the human fertility- but of the lands fertility.

While it is heavily debated, in UPG and in many academic texts and research, Demeter tends to have an association with some hallucinogenic and of course the poppy flower- and thus poppy seeds that produce opium. This connects them to not just the serious nature of agriculture, but to the enlightening or jovial nature of drug use. They also could have connections in wrath or reaction, or at the very least intertwined enough to be mentioned together in this way;

“For whatsoever things vex Demeter, vex also Dionysos; for Dionysos shares the anger of Demeter.”

Callimachus, Hymn 6 to Demeter 65 ff (trans. Mair)

Lastly, I'd like to briefly touch on the idea that Demeter is a parent of Dionsyus. This comes from Bibliotheca Historica. There are varying ways to interpret this possibility- for one, we can take it literally, that there were/are worshippers who believe that Zeus and Demeter are the parents of Dionsyus. Another interpretation could be more metaphorical, Demeter is the Goddess of the Harvest- of all harvest, so a God that is in that category, as Dionsyus is, is a metaphorical child or continuation of Demeter and her work.

The deities are capable of much more than we will ever know, and they have much more mythology and history than we will ever recover. So, we may never know the specifics of what we desire, but we can make educated guesses, work towards divination, and on a grander scale keep up with new archeological finds. Ultimately, it’s important as a worshipper to research and understand how multifaceted every being we encounter is, including and especially the Gods.

[doomed-silly]

AMANE IS SO TRAGIC

Alright back on my Amane defender kick because once we start getting into the swing of trial 3 that poor girl is going to get beat down asf

I might talk more about her in general story, but this post specifically is about her beef with Shidou (which is funny on paper I just had to say that)

TRIAL 3 SPOILERS BELOW BUT YOU GOTTA CATCH UP SMH

Alright I feel like a lot of people even Amane defenders kind of gloss over her Shidou murder. “She’s against medical care” and on the face of it yes that’s why she killed him, BUT I also think her psychology about the situation goes a lot deeper than just that.

I think I’ve talked about this in a past post, but ADHD so whatever.

So let’s establish some base boards. Amane is not only raised from birth in a cult, but she’s also absolutely going through religious psychosis as well as some sort of “prophet complex” (I say prophet because she’s leading her new sect of this religion, but she’s still a PART of that religion). I also think a lot of Amane antis try to point to her first trial voice drama to say “she didn’t kill her mother in self defense it was a religious motivator she knew what she was doing.” I do think that’s basically the most surface level take ever, but if you have that take sure. I also think when looking at the lyrics of purge march it does kind of shatter this level headed grateful follower persona Amane was trying to portray. In purge march she is very clearly angry saying things along the lines of “remember my cries, my repents, etc”. I think she was religiously motivated not in the sense her mom wasn’t following the religion, so she felt like she had to then punish her, but that she realized the hypocrisies in the religion and it broke her which then led to her murdering her mother. To kill her mother and then call it self defense would then be her having to admit her religion was used to hurt her and that she was upset at that fact. In trial 1 we can see she is still using her religion for comfort, so she’s not ready to confront the fact that she’s actually questioning her faith. I also think that’s why after being voted guilty in trial 1 we got purge march. Milgram effectively scared her back to her religion. I don’t think in trial 1 “magic” she’s hard core questioning her faith, but I do think the seeds were there. I could see a trial 1 innocent verdict starting her path towards possibly getting less intense about her religion with her repeated question of “can I still be a good girl?” And her giving care to the cat being affirmed, but I also think it could’ve made her think her religion is right. Either way I think an innocent verdict was the only way to keep her at bay.

Anyway all of that wraps back around to her IN milgram. Being voted guilty essentially sent her running back to her religion full speed, but I also think that an inno trial 1 would’ve helped her path to healing because after being voted guilty her immediate reaction was to believe in her religion even HARDER, but also see it as the “old” religion for lack of a better term as not harsh enough. Once she got an innocent verdict in trial 2 that essentially sealed her fate with her beliefs. An innocent verdict affirms a prisoners beliefs so when she presents purge march and her new mindset and gets affirmation for that she just sees that as “Oh I WAS correct the old version of my religion didn’t work but no religion also doesn’t work so I need to be the one to fix it.”

(Little side note I hate the milgram fandom acting like everything about the story is so out of our hands when the whole series is built on its audience interactivity, but that’s a different post)

So now we get to the elephant in the room Shidou. Alright. Just on the face of it Shidou is literally a living example of a sinner to Amane. Once she got the affirmation a more violent approach to her religion is the way to go of course shidou would’ve been her first target. I think if you just end the analysis there though that chops off a huge part of her mindset that’s really interesting.

Alright so we know for a fact that Amane is against medical care, she uses her religion as justification for her actions because a lot of her actions are actually not in service of her religion but she’s so brainwashed she can’t let that be true, and she’s also now been essentially told it’s her job to be the leader of this new “Amaneism”.

So yes she killed shidou because hes a sinner. But she also killed him because to her his death is closure, and almost penance. So let’s go through Amane’s crime. Amane was giving medical care to a cat and she was caught by somebody in the church who then told her mother. Once Amane got home she was punished for breaking the rules by getting tazed. Once she goes back to the cats spot and realizes that either her mother or somebody in the cult did something to that cat (most likely killed it). This is where Amane starts to break. In purge march we see her disconnect from reality in the umbrella transition which from there she goes back home and kills her mother.

So looking at all of this. In AMANE’S head medical care is the specific reason she ended up in milgram. Now I’d say it’s heavily implied and basically shown Amane killed her mother not for religious reasons, but because of the abuse she endured (which I talked about earlier), but in her head it was religious. Amane broke the rules of her religion specifically around medical care which then spurred her to murder. So to Amane giving somebody/thing medical care caused her to end up in milgram. And once in milgram she was subjected to things like the guilty verdict.

Now. We have Shidou. Yes shidou is the living embodiment of a primary sin of Amane’s religion, BUT more importantly to Amane he is a physical representation of why she is here. To Amane he’s not just someone who daily goes against her religion, he is a living showcase of Amane’s greatest shame and reason for even being in Milgram. Did Amane kill Shidou for sinning? Yes. That’s not up for debate. I would propose the theory however that while that may have been the superficial reason, she had to kill him not just because amaneism is more violent, but because now that she’s fully embraced this religion she has to let go of the part of herself or honestly to her what she sees as a weakness. For her killing Shidou is a rectifying of her past mistakes and maybe on an even deeper subconscious level a way for her to let out her anger about even being in Milgram

Some final thoughts below

One thing I really dislike about the milgram fandom and especially with Amane is that they don’t treat her as a kid. Actually on top of that they don’t treat her as a kid, or a victim of abuse, or a brainwashed cult member. Especially all of those things together.

Amane quite literally can not be a reliable narrator because of how much she’s gone through and because of the ages she’s gone through it. It’s the same in real life when kids are raised in Christianity and with their full hearts see a lot of things they do as sinful and cry over going to Hell.

To look at Amane go “I killed my victim because I had to impart justice on my victim in the name of my religion” and take that as 100% fact, exactly what she thinks, and think that there is no nuance or even more behind that statement is ludicrous.

You can apply this to basically all of the prisoners in some way. Mahiru says over and over she just had a normal relationship and just loved as anyone else did, but even in her first trial song is showing that she doesn’t fully believe that. And the prisoners aren’t just able to alter the videos to get a verdict they want it is a reflection of what’s going on inside their heads. Mahiru even says I’m not a great singer I hope it’s ok. Prisoners talk about Es and their thoughts on their crimes and the music videos with estimation implying they don’t know what Es saw.

Amane isn’t different. “Magic” would not be so conflicted if she truly had zero doubts or if she was 100% honest that her murder was solely religiously motivated. After her punishment montage in “Magic” she gets up with the spirals in her eye which is basically always short hand for brain washing or not being in control of ones actions. It’s actually baffling to me that other prisoners will get hordes of people clamoring to point out every reason why a prisoner is innocent, or guilty, or why you should look at what they’re saying differently, but when it’s Amane’s turn it’s crickets.

Amane’s age, trauma, and upbringing is INTEGRAL to her crime and CHARACTER. No Amane is not to be taken at face value. If you talk to a child in real life that’s gone through HALF of what Amane has gone through you wouldn’t immediately expect them to be of sound mind. Sometimes I get genuinely confused when I see people try to act like Amane isn’t extremely tragic and that she’s just some religious zealot who is pure evil and can never be listened to

-

I always start these posts thinking I’m just gonna have a quick 5 paragraph post and then I end up typing like it’s my dissertation so um anyways. thanks for reading LOL

(Yes I add all the hashtags I can think of don’t judge me)

[rosammmystica]

Those who have ears, let them hear

I was drawn to take a moment to share a little about my understanding of Mary Magadlene so far, and how she ended up so central to my current direction. I fully expect it to change and be adjusted in the future.

Now, to preface, my practice is a specific tone of perennialistic, in which the idea that the forces that are true have always been, shall ever be, and will always express themselves in a way that will catch the attention of the desired audience; the seed of truth has no choice but to grow on. In that the stories we tell each other have a great chance to reveal what lives within the core of our comprehension and interaction with the divine. In that, these stories are not necessarily historic, and one must learn proper discernment to differentiate between provable fact an personal spiritual impression. They do not even be non-fictional per se. We are in communion with Spirit, and that is the best She can make us understand.

The following is linked, quite obviously, to Biblical and apocryphal texts, but the goal here specifically to lay out my present vision. Citations is a subject for another day. The following is pure feelings with no receipts.

I associate Magralene with what is understood as the Daughter in Filianism - Her role is elect, and priestly, and divine. She is the conduit for full divine power, and a mighty protector of women who are spiritually gifted, and whose soul fire is ready to soar up.

As a Myrrhbearer, she is the Priestess, the conductor of ritual, the one celebrating the divine within material. She is the root and the soul of faith and power.

She is the avatar of a woman fully embodied in her spirituality and her material plenty.

She is the one teaching us to trust in good when another would nitpick for evidence - and that trust is rewarded.

To add an item completely off the rails (for my former self, anyway, who would never allow such conjecture), |I do feel there exists an embodied flow of Marian initiatory energy, of holy femininity, and I am currently at peace suggesting that Mary is many-in one, distinct yet belonging to a singular current of love, expressed in different forms.