#faith deconstruction

[isalisewrites]

A little word of motivation from Isa

It's Sunday for me again where I attend a Mormon church meeting. Going used to burden my mental health, but now I am unaffected. To me now, it is a gathering of people who like to participate in rituals and community surrounding their fandom niche. Even if they take it a step further and believe their fandom is based in reality

After posting my latest chapter for Terrible, But Great and seeing the overwhelmingly beautiful responses to my personal conflict with a Mormon family member, I felt such gratitude on a multitude of levels. Sometimes, I question myself about sharing such things because I'm really NOT trying to vent or garner attention through the experiences in my life.

If I'm to attract attention, I'd much rather it be from my writing

I want to lift and to inspire. I am more assured of my path even more now. To those of you out there who still attend your religious meetings to keep the peace in your homes, all while you no longer believe, please acknowledge your strength and your endurance.

You are powerful.

You have awakened and that was an immensely difficult process. You've gone through a terrible loss, yet you're still here.

Remember, even while you're still physically attending meetings, the beliefs of others have no power over you. Your essence, your soul, your consciousness, whatever you call the you within, it cannot be bound by their beliefs. You are spiritually free.

Keep hanging in there. You are so strong for holding your tongue, for keeping your silence. There is nothing wrong in not telling anyone your beliefs. You owe nothing to anyone.

It's going to be okay. It's going to get better.

I might know that Mormonism isn't true, but that doesn't mean I don't believe that we all have special paths and journeys unique to us.

I was always meant to go through a faith deconstruction. I was always meant to share my story with others, so that it could comfort at least one person. I send you hope, comfort, and love. You will not only survive, you will thrive.

Remember, you are loved.

[journeyofwitchery]

Leaving Behind Everything

Imagine it.

Knowing the earth is round and seeing its curves and then, in a time where everything is flipped upside down, finding out that flat earthers, what you and everyone you knew used to make fun of, are the real truth. Suddenly you find yourself an outcast, the very thing you once looked down on.

I don't believe the earth is flat, but I did used to believe in god. specifically, of the many ideas of god, the one from the extensive series of books collectively called the bible. I was not what they would call lukewarm either, I regarded it as black and white, scientific truth,

until certain questions poked and prodded my brain and then something devastating: I couldn't answer them. Nor could I find any philosophical or theological answer for these horrible conflicts of belief and truth. I believed in truth first, over any belief, and even when the one "truth" I knew to be certain was THE truth, I accepted the questioning of the possibility it might not be out of principle.

So, as any honorable religious follower of Truth, Facts, Reasoning, and Nothing But the Truth, finding out that the idea of that god did not make logical sense, I become agnostic.

Naturally, it kind of cut me off from everyone and everything I knew. The worst thing was knowing exactly how they viewed me. Fallen, confused, rebelling against the Big Dad in the sky, being a little teenager about it. The real worst happening of that turbulant time however, would have to be the threat of eternal fear and pain by likes of which is too hellish to think about. All because I questioned the reality of a god I used to love above all else.

I can't find the answers to the questions, and had to make due with the fact there weren't any, and had to make due with the fact there is nothing replying when I scream at the sky.

[fratresdei]

Happy Easter to all the veritable punks going through faith deconstruction today.

[hannah-hank-han]

with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength

Pastors are kind of a touchy topic for me, because pretty much every person I have considered my pastor or personal spiritual leader has failed me, some far more spectacular ways than others. Some I put in a nearly impossible position with my family, and that’s not their fault I don’t blame them for that. I do blame their wives when they tell me that maybe the reason I’m going through terrible…

[hopefullynotprententious]

Looking for a Sense of Purpose

I used to be part of this church, and I was taught that our purpose in life was to bring others to God. That my purpose as a woman was to go to church, meet a man, marry him and then have his children. I’ve left that church and I don’t practice any religion now. I’ve been slowly deconstructing my faith since I was about 14, I’m 23 now, I’ve only been really open about it for the past 4 years and that’s only because the rest of my family quietly came to the same realization that I did. That realization being that the church is not true.

For years I’ve been struggling with my sense of purpose and if I’m no longer apart of this church, then what am I supposed to do? What’s my purpose for being on this big beautiful planet? I’ve been trying to list anything that could be my purpose. My purpose is so that I can buy dinner for my brothers after they’ve had a bad day at work or school, or my purpose is so that my friends can vent to me when their families are being shitty to them, or my purpose is so that the employee at my local grocery store can check my receipt before I leave, or my purpose is so that I can tip the barista that made my drink.

For so long I was taught that my purpose in life was to get married, have kids, and be a stay at home mom. I don’t want that and truthfully I don’t think I ever did want that. I had always been looking for some profound reason for living and for being here, I’ve come to terms with the fact that my reason for being here doesn’t have to be profound. Maybe I’m just here so I can just be.

[shift-shaping]

very funny when someone who tries to tell you porn addiction is real is already marked with shinigami eyes. like oh really? i never would have guessed a transphobe would buy multiple strains of fundamentalist christian propaganda. anyway

like i cannot stress enough that porn addiction is a fake thing made up by fundamentalists to make you demonize sex. it is not a real thing. you can have all manner of compulsions, sure, but a porn compulsion is no more harmful than a compulsion to doomscrolling or washing your hands or brushing your teeth. which is to say, it's not great to have a compulsion at all, but a compulsion to pornography is not uniquely concerning in and off itself.

research on this subject is very clear that porn and porn consumption itself is not the issue. what causes distress and shame is the culture surrounding porn and the way our society demonizes people for normal sexual feelings.

porn is morally neutral. you are not a bad person for enjoying porn. the real-life porn industry is a shitshow, but there are many ways to enjoy pornography that are entirely harmless. support your favorite independent porn producers.

[finalgirlgretchen]

if one more person tries to claim that the oh hellos are no longer christian i am going to lose my shit

[castingpsalms]

“sin is the absence of love”

i never thought of it this way before, but it makes so much sense. when people do terrible things, there is no love there. love cannot be in the presence of sin.

that’s why sending us all to hell would be a sin, because there is no love there. and God is love, so He can’t sin, so hell is not for us.

that’s why Jesus came and died. to show us what love is — to show us that He is love. it’s not cause we’re all going to hell, it’s because we needed an example of how love is supposed to be.

love is self-sacrificing, love is selfless, love is Jesus.

[lesbiansloveeddiediaz]

no one at my conservative religious school knows i'm reading buck and eddie fanfics instead of paying attention to chapel

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Love when people read half of a sentence and then are like I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!!!

No.

No you don't.

Read the rest of the freaking sentence first.

Read the sentence before and after first.

Read the paragraph first.

Read the entire passage first.

Then, please, by all means, tell me your interpretation of that sentence.

[pirateofrohan]

Mass Effect really missed a trick making Ashley Williams straight.

[deservedgrace]

I don't think that framing "Marginalized™️ Atheism/Deconstruction" and "Cishet White Male Atheism/Deconstruction" as inherently ~separate and distinct~ is super effective (and disclaimer I'm specifically speaking about my experience with christianity, atheism, and ex christian atheists/deconstructors), but also... okay so I was raised in a cult, and cults are oppressive for all its members. Nobody gets out unscathed, everyone experiences the abuse tactics, everybody is a victim. But within the cult there is a hierarchy, and cishet white men are at the top. So while the cult is oppressive to everyone, and everyone is harmed in some way, it is also uniquely oppressive to queer folks, to BIPOC, to disabled folks, to women, etc etc. And the thing that happens to some of those cishet white men is they leave an oppressive cult, where they are considered the "default", and they go into the ~real world~, where they are also considered the "default", and even in atheist/deconstruction spaces, their bodies and experiences are often the leading voices.

The men that leave go from an oppressive patriarchal culture to a far less oppressive (to them) patriarchal society. The white people that leave go from an oppressive racist culture to a far less oppressive (to them) racist society. The people that leave go from an oppressive culture that does not value marginalized voices to a different, less oppressive culture that also does not value marginalized voices. And if you personally do not experience [xyz] oppression, it can be difficult to even realize there are things surrounding that you have to deconstruct unless you listen to the voices of the oppressed. But some cishet white men go from being considered the "default" in an oppressive culture, to being considered the "default" in a less oppressive culture (to them). Their experience of "overcoming systemic oppression" comes from leaving the church, and it can be really easy to fall into the trap that the church, specifically, is the sole oppressor and enemy of everyone.

Of course this doesn't happen in every single case and it's also not exclusive to cishet white men. But those blind spots are why I think it's important for everyone to listen to a variety of voices when they're deconstructing, especially if those voices are talking about oppression you wouldn't have experienced firsthand.

No, our deconstructions are not inherently different, but the experiences and circumstances prior to it often are. It's okay to acknowledge that and beneficial for everybody to listen to each other's experiences.

[wasmormon]

I was born and raised into the LDS faith. I paid a full tithing on my gross. At home, I actively prayed, read the scriptures, watched and attended General Conference, held Family Home Evenings with my family, and did everything else a good Mormon should do. I am an avid reader, I study cryptography and mathematics for fun, I love solving puzzles. I was a Mormon.

When the church published a series of 13 Gospel Topics Essays on their website, a friend pointed out to me that the church finally admitted that Joseph Smith was a polygamist. I fought back, because I was raised and taught that he was monogamous, and even went so far as to tell my friend he must be mistaken, or the church had it wrong.

However, I admitted that I didn’t know a lot about the issue, and promised him I would look into it. As an avid reader, and an amateur researcher, I held to my promise. But the deeper I dug into Joseph Smith’s history, the deeper I went down the rabbit hole of LDS church history.

I was soon learning not only about Joseph Smith’s polygamy, but also his folk magic, and the problems with the Book of Abraham, and the Kinderhook Plates, and so much more, to the point that it became very clear to me that the narrative I was learning was not matching the dominant narrative I learned growing up, nor the dominant narrative that is currently being taught.

I tried hard to give space for the historicity of the church claims, but every essay, paper, blog post, podcast episode, and so much more, was lined with mountains and mountains of references and citations, all of which could be verified. The “anti-mormon” literature I was reading was really the true church history, and it rocked my world.

I was deeply consumed with everything I could get my hands on to try so hard to prove that these “antimormon lies” were just that – lies. But it the exact opposite. After 9 months of intense and exhausting research, I realized that the evidence for the truth claims lied overwhelmingly with the critics of Mormonism, and not the apologetics.

- Aaron

Continue reading the full wasmormon profile at https://wasmormon.org/profile/atoponce/

For months, I dealt with anger and depression, as I tried to wrestle with 40 years of my life essentially being a lie. But, the storm settled, the relationship with my wife grew stronger, and now I have honest conversations with my wife and daughter about real issues, doctrine and policy, that shape our lives and the lives around us. These discussions are healthy, they provide deep reflection and introspection into difficult topics, and we have a space where we are happy, vibrant, and authentic.

Share your own story at wasmormon.org

[theshoesofatiredman]

So much of Christian teaching around thought crime is dependent on the idea that we are fully in control of every thought we have. And when it interfaces with mental health it becomes extremely dangerous. Like the below:

"Anxiety is a sign you're not trusting God's plan for your life."

"If you're depressed that means you're not relying on God to be your joy."

Neither of these things are true and they don't reflect how either anxiety or depression actually work. Illnesses have been used for hundreds of years by religion to demonize people. If you would scoff at someone saying a person's cancer is because of specific sin in their life, you should hold the above statements in similar contempt.

There are real treatments for depression and anxiety that help people. It's not a matter of a person's faith and claiming so IS HARMFUL TO PEOPLE WHO SUFFER FROM THOSE ILLNESSES! Judging people as sinful or of little faith for their illnesses makes it harder for them to receive real life bringing care from professionals trained to provide it.

[39addict101]

Okay I don’t even know if this will reach anyone but someday I want to write a novel about religious trauma and religious abuse and how religious people who claim to be holy really just… intentionally (or maybe unintentionally in some cases) abuse the shit out of children and women and minority groups.

Also how churches just shelter sexual abusers, and how sexual abusers use holy texts to justify their actions and threaten their victims into silence.

I am compiling a data base of cruel and unusual religious punishments (mostly to make sure I’m not crazy) but also to have a better understanding of exactly how religious abuse is manifested in different situations.

Some examples: a mother physically SITTING on a “disobedient” child while singing the famous hymn “Trust and Obey”

A young woman whose creepy traveling Christian musician uncle would travel to various churches and tell children’s story, during children’s story he would LICK his nieces face, from eyeball to chin, and the entire church would laugh. Her father looked on, and didn’t care how visibly uncomfortable his daughter was.

Finally, and this is just one of my own experiences. I suffer from horrible menstruation symptoms, and my mother refused to allow me to take any pain medicine, because it would not allow for me to have a “clear mind” to hear the Holy Spirit.

Anyway, I know that this can be quite traumatizing to share… but I’m just putting feelers out there… is there anyone willing to step forward and share their traumatic religious experiences?

It’s for research and understand and deconstructing purposes only.