#failing at my favorite thing devastates me honestly

[diteach]

I worked 50 hours on this sweater and it's impossible to wear

I tried casting on a new project but even that isn't going well

I think I won't knit for a while

[starlight-artbby]

Y'all the newest X-Men 97 episode blew me away. Like the animation ate down and it was just so good like I was thoroughly enjoying every second.

I knew that Scott was gonna hold some grudge against the professor and I don't blame him. He left his dream to his team and honestly failed him and damn did this episode remind him that over and over again. Especially Rogue who clearly was fed up with his ass. And I swear I was gonna cry when I saw her wearing Remy's coat and I had a tear nearly fall from my eye when Kurt looked so devastated to tell her again the Remy is dead like ugh I was in so much pain.

Speaking of pain Jubilee and Roberto. How dare they do this to me. I knew from a mile away that Roberto Was gonna go with Magneto (along with Rogue) and I completely understand why. His mother straight up abandon him and handed him to the people who wanted to kill him. Like of course he is gonna be pissed but when Jubilee said you still have me I felt like a part of me died because he walked away and that shit had to hurt.

Now I completely laughed when Magneto said the line about Lilandra. I can't remember exactly what he said but I do recall being gagged and gooped and not him telling Xavier to shut up like if those two don't just go to couples counseling...

Now I won't lie, Morph had me when he pretending to be Sinister so if I were Bastion I most certainly was gonna get caught. May I also express how I thought that Beast was going to get pieced through the chest during that fight sequence like I was on the edge of my toes.

Once again Sinister proved to me why I hate him so much. Having Jean fight her own son?!? Foul and then her contacting Cyclops to tell him that she loves him!!! Like why does X-Men 97 like hurting us? And if Storm or Forge ends up dead, I am most certainly fighting someone.

Now the new looks... Huh... Why did they have to put that cap on my boy Scott. And Jean she ate down with the boots but the gloves and the mask?!?! No mam. I loved Rogues outfit along with Logan's. They could've had morph in something a lot better. Kurt ate as usual and of course Jubilee ate up her look along with Storm. I couldn't tell if beast put on anything different so I can't say much about that but regardless, some of the team needed a better wardrobe.

Now I know some people will probably get mad at Rogue and Roberto for going with Magneto but honestly, Rogue was there on Genosha. It has messed her up so badly and we continue to see the side effects till this very episode. I already explained Roberto so I honestly am not mad at him but I am sad that he couldn't see that Jubilee was there for him just like sadly Rogue couldn't see that the team would be there for her but honestly, their feelings are still valid as fuck and I don't want to hear anyone else say other wise.

Also why did they have to do Wolverine like that!! Huh!!! Like y'all better have his regeneration ability kick in. I also feel so bad cause I know that nobody was expecting murder to occur up there that's for sure.

(also Scott stopping Xavier from forcing Magneto to return power was everything to me cause he did it for Jean and it's time he shows that woman some love.)

Also where is Bishop!?!?!

Now for the things I enjoyed. I loved the new opening. I was so happy to see Storm back in it again. It really made things start off well for the episode. I loved Rogue clocking Xavier and telling him exactly what she needed to say.

My favorite part of the episode though had to be when Jean and Storm had reunited and when they parted ways on the mission. Those two are sisters and I love the show for reminding us of their incredible bond I just lived to see it.

I also enjoyed Scott and Jean giving each other a hug before they parted ways and when Scott gave Nathan that advice I truly loved it. I am hoping that'll stop him from attacking Jean (possibly) if not, Jean will girlboss her way out of there.

I can't wait for the final episode (I hope I get Remy and Logan and anyone else who gets injured back) ♡♡♡♡

[nightcolorz]

What do you think Armand’s favorite video game is? Or perhaps favorite genre. ((If he had a movie phase, I feel like a video game phase isn’t too far fetched.))

lmao omg I love this question 😭🙏I agree 100% Armand absolutely had a video game phase, that is so him

I think Armand would rlly mf like mobile games 💀 like those really mundane repetitive sensory games, where u stack layers of cake or tap balls through hoops. He’d do that shit for like multiple days straight without getting bored 😭. I feel like the thing Armand would be most enamored by with video games would be the coding and technology aspect rather then like, story or entertainment value, so I feel like he’d be into games that most ppl would find pretty boring. I think he’d play online chess and care wayyyy too much. He’d be more fascinated by the Ai chess player function than the actual game tho (yknow where u can play a single player round against the app), bcus the whole concept of playing chess against a computer would be mind blowing to him. I think Armand would also like basic puzzle mobile games, like candy crush and tetris (once again, would be hyper fixated on that for multiple days straight). The issue Armand would run into with mobile games would be always, without fail falling for the clickbait adds and then immediately downloading whatever he clicks on 😭. His iPad data is absolutely devastated by how many shitty mobile games it’s trying to support 😭

my potentially controversial opinion is that I don’t think Armand would be interested in violent/fighting games. He explains in queen of the damned that he doesn’t understand what is cathartic about violence, and he finds the concept of seeking out violence disturbing and confusing. I feel like Armand would have a similar reaction towards shooter/war games as a conservative mother with a gaming son would 💀. “Why would u enjoy that 😦?? War is not fun 😦”. Lmaoooo. He would definitely try those games out to try and understand the appeal (endlessly curious and desperate to understand other ppls perspectives as he is) But I think Armand would be immune to any catharsis that comes with game killing, bcus of how often he experiences real killing💀 The only appeal he would find in violence based games would be the competitive aspect and the visuals + technological components. he is so easily stimulated that I feel like if Armand were to play like, Red dead redemption for example, he’d end up spending hours and hours riding the horse around and looking at the visuals instead of participating in any of the game play 💀 yknow? If he were to try Fortnite or Dead by Daylight or smth like that he’d be so focused on the running around and jumping functions that he’d die immediately 💀

I think Armand would be captivated by story games and visual novels, part of me thinks that he is so easily entertained that he would be too busy staring at a single environment or clicking around buttons to engage in the actual story 💀. Armand would 100% be obsessed with video games, but I think he would not play or engage with them in anyway conventionally, just bcus of how he experiences his fixations and what things he takes interest in. Armand is so invested in sensory experiences that I think if he were to play a large scale game he’d spend tons of time fixating on tiny little aspects of the features instead of working to finish it😭. Armand plays like, life is strange for a year and never gets past the first scene bcus he enjoys listening to the sound design so much 💀

Thank u SO MUCH for the ask I love this question I was smiling and giggling writing this 😭 I hope my response was enjoyable, I honestly don’t know much about video games so I have a sort of limited perspective, but I hope my Armand knowledge makes up for it 🙏lol

[blighted-lights]

because of course im gonna ask: first aid? —cmofirstaid

(Based off of this post! TFP Soundwave, IDW Sunstreaker, IDW First Aid, IDW Ravage, and IDW Cosmos have all been asked for! Feel free to send in an ask for any character that isn't one of these five 🌸❗️Not limited to followers or mutuals, so go wild!)

First Impression: Oh shit, First Aid! I read MTMTE before I read most of IDW, and I was fucking stoked to see him appear in the Delphi arc- ESPECIALLY with how he was introduced with his report that doubled as the issue's intro narration. Aside from that, though, I didn't focus on him much during my first read-through. Pharma and Ambulon immediately stole the show away from him, and it wasn't until my second read a few months later that I really focused on Aid. Aside from being happy to see him, I LOVED how he was drawn in MTMTE. He's always been cute, but something with how he was drawn in the first half of MTMTE really cemented for me that he has one of the best designs. He somehow manages to be boxy and round at the same time and I love him for it.

Impression Now: You are ENTIERLY responsible for how much First Aid means to me now, I hope you know this. One of my top ten IDW faves. His design remains one of my favorites, and I wish we got more canon content digging into his POV of things pre-mutiny. I wish he stayed on the Lost Light instead of being called away, too! There is so much focus on Ratchet passing over the title of CMO to First Aid, but then Aid leaves so quickly after. Idk, I wish we just got to see him more pre-mutiny. Aid is such a tragic character to me but he's another background tragedy and it makes me want to shake my screen a bit when I think about him. A somewhat vaguely odd thing to say, but I wish we got to see more of First Aid's grief over Ambulon and his feelings towards Pharma. Honestly I wished we got to see more interactions between Aid and the rest of the medical cast in general- including Ratchet, Velocity (ESPECIALLY Lotty (is not biased)), and Rung.

Favorite Moment: Speaking of Pharma, my favorite moment of First Aid is this one right here:

I think Aid should be shown like this more often. I NEED him to be angry. I need him to be murderous. As a treat for myself. I hate the idea in media where the good guys refuse to kill a villain because they'd be "letting the villain win". It's good to see that narrative challenged by Aid here.

... Even if the consequences aren't easily forgotten.

Idea for a Story: Someone put First Aid and Rung into a therapy appointment, I need to pick their interactions apart under a microscope. I do not thing going to Rung would be able to help Aid. In fact, it might just make an already shitty situation worse. But I want to see First Aid sit down and talk about what he is experiencing. And maybe I want to see Rung unintentionally making his grieving process more difficult. We already know from Rung's own admission in Lost Light that he does not know who he is without his patients. He banks his entire identity and self-worth on trying to assist other people. But what happens when nothing he does seems to help First Aid, and therefore his own self-image begins to crumble for it? How does his own perceived failings affect his treatment of First Aid?

Unpopular Opinion: 🤔 Not sure if I have one. I'm allergic to the idea of Aid being really nice and nervous 100% of the time, ig. All things considered, the First Aid we have in IDW isn't nervous at all. But I don't actually know how prevalent this is in fandom or if this is even an unpopular take 🤷‍♂️.

Favorite Relationship: Canon-wise? It's a toss up between him and Ambulon and then him and Ratchet. It is devastating how hard Aid takes Ambulon's death, and his desperation to help save Ambulon when Ratchet wouldn't let him was heartbreaking to read. At the same time, I NEED more of First Aid and Ratchet arguing with each other and Aid calling Ratchet out on his bullshit. It is rare that anyone steps up to Ratchet like that and succeeds in affecting him. I would like more, thanks.

Non-canon relationships? Another toss-up between Velocity and Ravage. Put these three in a blunt rotation, I'm sure they'll be fine.

Favorite Headcanon: First Aid is extremely tactile. There is not a word or phrase that could properly describe how touchy First Aid is. He has the capability to turn someone who is touch-starved to touched-out in the span of thirty minutes. While this is in part due to just him being an affectionate person in general (or at the very least, more physically affectionate than most other Autobots), it is also partially because of his intense focus on Autobot brands. He is so used to checking everyone he comes across for their brands in the case that they might have a bullet shot through them that the process of checking someone over is compulsive. This extends to people who fall outside of the Autobot ranks who do not even have brands, like Ravage, Cyclonus, and Ten. It's earned him more than a few strange looks and awkward silences over the course of being on the Lost Light.

[aebi12]

"Resentment" - Chapter 12 [AemondxRhaena]

Summary

He is the cause of her sufferings. He took her dragon, her betrothed, and her father. Now, he will also take away her future by having to marry him.

With so much history and bad blood between Rhaena and Aemond, their forced union has everything to fail, except that the proximity will make them discover that perhaps they have more in common than it seems.

AU - the Greens win the war.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11

Masterlist of my other works.

Tags: enemies to lovers, romance, angst, drama, eventual smut, hurt/comfort

Please remember that english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for the mistakes...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It was during that darkness that the Others first appeared. They were cold things, dead things, who hated iron and fire and sunlight, and every creature with warm blood in their veins. They devastated villages, cities and kingdoms. They defeated heroes and armies. They were innumerable, always on the backs of white and dead horses, at the head of hosts of corpses. Not all the swords of men could stop their advance, nor did the maidens or the breast babies awaken their compassion. They hunted the girls through the frozen forests and fed the flesh of human children to their dead servants.”

The sudden sound of the door closing makes her gasp, and close the book. Heart pounding in her chest, Rhaena directs her gaze to the other end of the room.

“Rhaena! Why are you still in bed?” Marianne's voice is full of impatience. The lady frowns when she comes close to her friend, and observes her tired and haggard expression, “Are you feeling ill?”

“I was reading,” Rhaena shakes her head.

“Did you spend all night reading?” she asks astonished

“Not all night,” Rhaena blushes, “I slept for a few hours.”

Marianne sighs and closes her eyes for a few moments. “It is an important day, you should have gotten dressed by now.”

“Surely we still have a few hours before I have to…”

“No, no more reading for today,” Marianne walks around the bed until she reaches the book, quickly taking it in her hands as she guesses Rhaena’s intentions to continue with her favorite pastime, “Honestly, how interesting can this be? Boring fiction about the North”

“Not at all!” Rhaena is quick to say, “It is quite fascinating, actually, reading about the terrible winter that descended upon the entire continent. Did you know that the Others rode spiders the size of horses? They were death itself."

“Stop it, I have no desire for horror stories,” Marianne shudders.

“Oh no, Marianne, let me tell you about what I read, who else am I going to share all this new information with?”

“Prince Aemond, of course,” Marianne places the book on one of the tables, “Since he so kindly lent you the book, he might as well hear your opinions on it.”

Rhaena sighs and her gaze drifts once more to the worn cover of the book. Could it be that her cousin enjoyed the stories as much as she did? Was that the reason the book seemed so aged? Or was it just another copy already worn out by the passing of the years?

“Don't you want to know more about winter?”

“The only thing I know about winter is that it is cold, bad for crops and commerce. And, luckily it is not upon us yet,” Marianne approaches the bed, removes the covers from Rhaena's body and extends her hand towards her, “Otherwise the merchants of Lys would not have been able to bring this.”

The lady shows Rhaena a couple of small glass bottles.

"What are they?" she asks, curious, examining the content

“Face and lip powder,” she replies with a smile.

Rhaena's smile widens as well as she climbs out of bed. “You look beautiful today, by the way,” she says after really taking in the appearance of her friend, who is wearing a yellow, almost ocher dress, with delicate details of seashells, the emblem of her house, which accentuates her delicate figure. Her hair, loose in soft waves, falls to her back, framing her heart-shaped face. “Looking to impress someone?”

“You know who I'd like to impress isn't here,” Marianne responds in a discouraged voice, “But my uncle Tyland wants me to take the opportunity to meet future suitors.”

“Surely you already know all the courtiers who live here?” Rhaena takes off her nightgown and puts her hair in a high bun.

“Well…” Marianne interrupts her respond to give instructions to the maids who fill the bathtub, “Some of the guests to your wedding have already arrived at the Fortress and will attend the banquet.”

“Oh, I did not know that,” her stomach twists at the thought of the wedding. Rhaena steps into the tub, rejoicing in the hot water, which calms her immediately.

“Yes, maybe we will meet someone interesting today.”

"Maybe"

Rhaena quickly carves her body with the sponge while her friend prepares the dress, jewelry and shoes she will wear at the banquet with the help of the maids.

“You should have slept a little more, you look too tired,” Marianne says disapprovingly after Rhaena has already gotten out of the bathtub, inspecting the dark circles on her friend's face.

“Relax, Anne, I do not need to look especially put together today. I am already betrothed, remember?”

“Still,” the lady shrugs, “Come on, help Lady Rhaena get dressed,” she instructs the servants, who quickly place Rhaena inside the dress, their deft fingers buttoning the back buttons, “I would know it would fit you perfectly”

Rhaena walks to the bedroom mirror and observes her figure, “It is tighter than what I usually wear,” she comments as she moves from side to side.

“Nonsense, it looks perfect on you,” her friend repeats.

Rhaena offers her a smile, “Thank you, Marianne, I just hope it is discreet enough for the ceremony. The neckline is much more revealing than the ones I wore all week during the festival.”

“Right, I didn't particularly think about that,” Marianne observes her friend, “We could try putting down a muslin or…”

“No, no,  it is too pretty a dress to add anything out of place,” Rhaena denies, taking in once again her slim figure accentuated by the cut of the dress. The color, subtle and feminine, looks wonderful on her skin tone.

"Sure?" When Rhaena nods, Marianne continues, “Well, you will need an appropriate necklace.”

“I'll use the one Aemond bought for me.”

“The butterfly one? But it is…”

"Simple?"

"Yes"

Rhaena takes the necklace from her dresser, “It will be a sign of goodwill, in my opinion, that I wear something he gave me since I will not be wearing one of the dresses he sent for me”

“I guess you are right,” Marianne agrees, “Your hair then…”

Her friend spends the next few minutes skillfully braiding her hair and applying the Lys powder, which gives a pinkish touch to her cheeks and lips. Pleased with the result, Rhaena applies her rose perfume and links arms with Marianne.

"Ready?"

“Excited,” Marianne nods, “You know how much I enjoy dancing.”

“As do I,” Rhaena giggles, “And I have a feeling we are going to have a pleasant time today.”

***

Aemond plays with the hem of his doublet as he watches Rhaena and her lady-in-waiting advance slowly, laughing carelessly and unaware of his presence waiting for them at the end of the corridor.

When they finally notice the prince, it is almost funny how their expressions and postures change.

“Good morning, my prince,” it is Rhaena's lady who greets him, bowing appropriately.

“Lady Westerling,” he replies, nodding.

His greeting seems to astonish the young woman, who stares at him for several seconds before exchanging a look with her lady. Aemond raises his eyebrows in her direction, not understanding the reaction.

“Cousin,” Rhaena offers him a kind smile, “I thought we'd meet at the party.”

“I figured the most appropriate thing would be to arrive together, after all and as you reminded me yesterday, we are the guests of honor.”

“I guess you are right,” she admits, her smile widening.

“I'll see you inside,” the Westerling girl says to Rhaena, who takes her hand and squeezes it goodbye. She bows to the prince again and strides toward the double doors at the entrance to the hall.

“Your lady-in-waiting seemed a little…” Aemond leaves the idea hanging.

“I think she was just amazed that you remembered her name.”

“I am able to remember the names of the members of the court,” he replies coldly. If he was honest, he didn't remember the girl's name, but the seashells embroidered on her dress had been enough of a clue for him to remember her house.

“I never said otherwise”

Their gazes meet and Aemond stares at the violet tone of her eyes for a few moments before looking away to her cousin's outfit.

“That's not one of the dresses I sent you,” he comments disapprovingly.

"No, it is not. This is a gift from Marianne, beautiful, don't you think?”

"Hmm"

Aemond thinks he sees the beginnings of a smile on Rhaena's face, but he just turns his back on her and starts walking towards the hall.

The guards bow to both of them and announce their arrival as they open the double doors. Rhaena's perfume invades him once again due to her closeness, and Aemond is tempted to glance at her out of the corner of his eye, but she has positioned herself to his left, so he finds nothing but darkness.

The hall, one of the many in the Red Keep, looks splendidly decorated. Emblems of the Faith, House Targaryen and House Blackwood hang from the high ceilings. An altar to the Mother, decorated with numerous natural flowers, stands out in the center of the place. There is also a small stage on the other side of the room with several chairs in front of it. Aemond frowns, but follows Rhaena to the high table, where the High Septon and old lady Blackwood are standing, but before they get there, Rhaena's hand on his forearm stops their progress.

"What is it?" He asks quietly turning to her.

“Be kind,” she responds in a whisper.

Their eyes meet once again. She looks apprehensive, as if she's afraid of what he might say or do in front of the hosts. He finds her concern annoying and even insulting, but when Rhaena presses her gentle touch on his forearm and takes a step toward him, her scent enveloping him once more, the impulse to respond with a sarcastic comment suddenly fades away.

“Please,” she insists in a tone so low that he practically has to read her lips.

His gaze stays on her lips for a few seconds, finding them small and soft-looking. Were they perhaps…? Aemond stops his train of thought and tilts his head, removing his arm from Rhaena's grasp.

“If you insist,” he finally answers after clearing his throat.

She seems content with his response and starts walking again.

“Lady Blackwood!” She greets with a bright smile, “High Septon,” Rhaena nods to both of them.

“Lady Rhaena, Prince Aemond”

The old woman's hard gaze lingers on him for a moment before she bows.

“My lady,” he responds with a solemn voice and nodding his head respectfully.

“I appreciate the presence of both of you on this special occasion,” says the woman, “It is my hope that you enjoy this small ceremony.”

Aemond purses his lips and suppresses a snort of annoyance. He detests false modesty. The woman had clearly gone to great lengths with the preparations of every detail.

“Everything looks magnificent,” Rhaena smiles, “I am sure you'll be a wonderful hostess today, if your tea parties are any indication.”

They both laugh and the High Septon laughs with them. Beside him, Rhaena subtly bumps her foot against Aemond's.

“It is an honor for us to be here, Lady Blackwood,” he says finally.

The old woman smiles, half pleased and half arrogant. Aemond restrains his desire to roll his good eye at her.

“Please, my prince, Lady Rhaena, join us at the table of honor.”

Aemond walks after his cousin and sits at the table, relieved to not be next to the old woman or the High Septon. He couldn't feign goodwill all morning towards the former and he'd had enough of the latter all week.

Beside him, Rhaena chats with Lady Blackwood, but he does not listen to the conversation, his eye examining the place in detail.

“My prince,” Tyland Lannister greets him and takes the seat next to him, “What a pleasant surprise to have you here.”

“Lord Lannister,” Aemond nods.

Tyland smirks. Aemond turns to him, “I did not know you enjoyed these kinds of events.”

“Certainly not as much as my brother did,” he admits, “But we all have our responsibilities, as you well know.”

"Indeed"

They both talk for a few minutes about the last meeting of the privy council until the High Septon, who is now standing next to the Mother's altar, breaks the conversation, beginning the last ritual of the Festival.

Silence hangs over the room, the music that was playing softly in the background stops and everyone seems attentive to the religious man's words. Aemond glances over the guests, recognizing most of them as members of the kingdom's most prominent houses. A group of dark-haired women sitting at the end of the table to his right catch his attention. Surely, they couldn't be...

The applause of the guests brings him out of his observation and Aemond notices Rhaena standing next to him, and looking at him briefly. He imitates her action and follows her until they reach the Mother's altar.

“And now,” the High Septon seems more excited than the prince has ever seen him in his life, “It is time to adorn the kind Mother in her best finery and take her to the Sept, from where she will continue to watch over us and bless us with her mercy, until it is turn to worship her again."

They stand on either side of the statue and Aemond watches a page-boy hold a crystal box from which Rhaena takes out a golden cloak, clearly exquisitely crafted.

The music is heard again, the court singing the main hymn of the Mother. Aemond sings inertly along with them, his voice barely above a whisper, his eye focused on Rhaena and her task. Noticing her small hands as they place the cloak on the stone back of the statue, delicately securing it with the gold clasp and skillfully arranging the folds. When it seems to be finished, her fingers caress the edge of the cloak from top to bottom, as if feeling the softness of the fabric and the embroidery. Aemond is unable to look away, enthralled with the almost mechanical gesture of Rhaena's hand, with her pleased expression and the soft smile on her face.

“It is your turn, my prince.”

The High Septon gives him an encouraging smile and Aemond begins to say the prayer to the Mother. The words are so engraved in his mind that he recites them without problems, his gaze still fixed on his betrothed, who looks away from the Mother and looks at him too, with a neutral expression that is difficult for him to read.

When Aemond finishes, the page-boy hands him a parchment with special requests which Aemond reads in his most solemn voice.

“What an honor for all of us that the Crown has participated in this ritual!” the High Septon finally says, “May the Mother be generous to Lady Rhaena and the prince and grant them prosperity in their union. Now, all united with Faith in the seven, we raise our prayers to the kind Mother, knowing that she listens to us and grants what we need.”

The High Septon invites all those present to approach the statue and bow before the end of the ceremony. As the attendants advance in an orderly line, the old man urges Rhaena and Aemond to touch the Mother's mantle and offer their petitions.

“Remember that she will listen to you with special attention for having dressed her,” he tells them with a fatherly smile.

Aemond does not respond, just looks at the statue and frowns, not believing the man's words. Perhaps there had been a time when he had believed in the gods, but the war had changed his perspective on many issues, including the Faith. He was not going to ask for anything because he knew he would not get an answer.

In front of him, Rhaena touches the hem of the cloak again, her gaze fixed on the statue, her expression half curious and half ironic. When her gaze drifts back to Aemond, she raises her eyebrow in his direction and gives him a small smile. Aemond can't help but remember her words from the previous afternoon.

Maybe I’ll ask to be a young widow.

Was she also thinking about that? Would she have dared to make such a request? The prince feels the sudden urge to ask her, but he only holds back a smile and looks away.

When the line of ladies and lords finally ends, servants of the faith dressed in brown robes appear to carry the Mother's altar on litters to the sept. The statue is bid farewell to the Fortress amid applause and songs.

And Aemond feels a weight lift from his shoulders. The damned Festival was finally over. He had fulfilled his duty and could consider his participation a resounding success. Surely his mother would be pleased with his performance all week.

Rhaena's sigh brings him back to the reality of the party. The music changes to a much livelier one, and Lady Blackwood takes the floor, thanking and inviting everyone to enjoy and dance.

“Rhaena!”

The Westerling girl approaches them and links her arm with his betrothed.

“Marianne, finally,” Rhaena's voice sounds relieved.

“You have no idea who is here,” the lady's voice cuts off as she notices Aemond's gaze, her face turning red.

Rhaena looks at her curiously before turning to him, “Cousin. I would tell you that it is our duty to dance since we are the guests of honor, but since you have made your position clear about dancing, I will not insist on it.”

“Am I supposed to thank you for that?”

She laughs and rolls her eyes, “If you'll excuse me, I'll go greet the other guests.”

Without waiting for him to give his approval, Rhaena takes the arm of her friend and they get lost among the guests who have already taken the dance floor.

With a growl of dissatisfaction Aemond returns to the table, where Tyland Lannister joins him a few moments later. The conversation flows between them and the prince enjoys a glass of wine while his good eye scans the crowd from time to time looking for his cousin. It is not difficult for him to find her, and every time he does, she is surrounded by ladies and lords with whom she converses animatedly.

“I am sorry if I am keeping you here, my prince,” says Lord Tyland, “Perhaps you would prefer to be with your betrothed.”

Aemond turns his gaze to the man, feeling irritated by the comment, “I am right where I want to be, Lord Tyland.”

Lannister nods thoughtfully, “Have you already come to terms with the idea that Lady Rhaena will be your wife?”

“Mmm,” he makes a noise. He knows that the man is in no way trying to mortify him. He has known Lord Lannister since he was a child and is one of his greatest allies. He was loyal to Aegon's cause during the war and much of the kingdom's treasure was saved thanks to him. Still, he finds himself tempted to tell him to remember his place because of his bold question.

“I am sorry if I overstepped with my words,” the man seems to have guessed the course of his thoughts, “I simply thought it appropriate to emphasize that Lady Rhaena can be an important ally of the Crown.”

“Yes, I've heard that,” he responds almost with a growl.

Lannister does not give up. “Look at her, my prince,” the man points with his glass to the center of the dance floor, where Rhaena is dancing with a knight of House Whent, “Everyone likes her, they seem to want to please her and seek her approval.”

Aemond doesn't respond, just watches his cousin take the knight's hand and walk around him, smile wide and face clearly rosy.

“Did you know that Lady Blackwood is a Tully by birth?”

"Was she?"

“Now you are here, at her party, and this could be the beginning of a path of more… friendly relations between the Crown and the Riverlands”

“My brother Daeron has already managed to reaffirm our authority with the Tullys”

“Perhaps, and I hope his intervention has a lasting effect, but it doesn't hurt to cultivate this new connection with such an influential lady.”

Aemond's irritation grows. Rhaena had told him practically the same thing, as had his mother. He was a prince, he didn't need anyone's approval, everyone should rather seek his. Of course, he holds regards for the most noble and important houses, but their representatives, with few exceptions, were so boring or idiotic that he gave up maintaining any relationship with them.

And not to mention the ladies. Most of them seemed to shy away from his presence as they found him too intimidating. Or that's what he preferred to think. Sometimes it was better to convince himself of such reasoning rather than to face their curious or pitiful looks when they noticed the patch and the scar.

Vhagar. He has Vhagar. And he doesn't need anyone else.

“Lady Rhaena can be very useful. Your great-grandmother, Queen Alysanne, understood well the importance of sweetening the ears of certain relevant people in the kingdom. She and the old king found the charisma they possessed very advantageous because they knew that they could not conquer everything with fire and blood."

“Thank you, Lord Tyland, I know the history of my house well,” he replies coldly.

Lannister sips from his wine glass and nods, “Take advantage of what Lady Rhaena can give you, my prince. More than just heirs, benefit from her popularity and use it to help the Crown further cement its power. It is the smartest thing you can do, after all, why are marriages if not beneficial?”

Aemond ponders his words as he drinks from his cup. He must admit that Lannister's last point is valid. Their future union, like all of the noble houses of the kingdom, is one of convenience. He might as well use Rhaena to his liking. Use the… what had she called it? Social influence? Entirely for his convenience.

As his gaze searches for Rhaena again, his eye falls upon the dark-haired women. This time, however, he manages to see their faces without problem. A lump forms in his throat as he recognizes them, “What are they doing here?”

Lannister follows the direction of his gaze, “They are invited to your wedding, my prince.”

Aemond snorts indignantly, “Did you think it was appropriate to invite my former betrothed and her sisters to my wedding?”

Tyland has the grace to look uncomfortable and shift in his chair, “They are the queen's sisters, their father is the lord of the Stormlands, it would have been rude not to.”

Aemond empties his wine glass, his gaze turning away from the women. Their presence in the Fortress is already beginning to make him uncomfortable. Seeing Floris Baratheon was surely going to bring up the issue of the broken betrothal again, the disgrace he had caused by breaking his word and starting a relationship with the witch of Harrenhall. His hands clench into fists. The rumors would certainly start again. If they had ever stopped.

“Perhaps it would be prudent to converse with the Lady Floris and offer your apology, my prince.”

Prudent. Yes of course. Aemond makes a disdainful little noise, but deep down he knows that Lannister is right. And he knows his mother will probably ask him to do the same.

“Maybe later,” he replies simply.

Lannister does not insist because the music stops and Lady Blackwood speaks again, inviting everyone present to offer their donations to the Faith.

Several of the guests, most of them men who are heads of their houses, instruct their servants to leave valuable-looking chests on a long table placed on the other side of the room.

“Lady Blackwood chose the right moment to stop the music,” says Rhaena, who has returned to the table and sits next to him, grimacing, “These shoes are not comfortable at all.”

“Was there a need to dance with half the attendees?” he asks coldly

His voice amazes her, but Rhaena shakes her head, “I like to dance,” she responds simply before picking up a glass of wine and taking a few sips.

Aemond watches her out of the corner of his eye. Her heated cheeks, her heavy breathing and the droplets of sweat beading her forehead. The prince suddenly wonders if his skin feels warmer than usual to the touch.

“You are a great dancer, Lady Rhaena,” Tyland says.

“Thank you, Lord Lannister,” she smiles kindly at him.

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go offer my contribution to the Faith.”

The Master of Coin leaves them and Aemond shifts in his chair, moving a little closer to Rhaena, “You did not mention this part when you told me about the party.”

“I guess I forgot,” she shrugs, but giggles and then shakes her head, as if to clear her mind.

Aemond can't help but ask, “What is it?”

Rhaena bites her lip for a moment, “I just remembered something Marianne's aunt told her and she repeated to me,” Aemond looks at her expectantly, “Basically that this is just a show for the court to clear their conscience by offering money to the Faith in exchange for forgiveness”

“If so, the court has many sins to atone for,” he responds, looking at the long line of gifts.

“Oh you have no idea,” she repeats with another giggle.

Aemond raises an eyebrow in her direction, and Rhaena bites her lip again, as if debating whether to continue or not. At last her resolve gives way, and she moves closer to her cousin, speaking softly, “Lady Rosby, for example.”

“What about her?”

“Her dress is much looser than the ones she usually wears, they say she hides a growing belly under it, and that is why she and Lord Manderly's son had to rush the wedding.”

"That would be…"

“And Lord Fossoway,” she doesn't let him finish, “The entire Court whispers about his shameful behavior and his fondness for the establishments on the Street of Silk. And there is also Lord Grafton's youngest son, who has been squandering his fortune on gambling and dog fighting.”

“How do you know all this?”

“People tell me these things,” she responds matter-of-factly with a shrug.

Aemond remembers Lord Tyland's words from a few minutes ago. Maybe it is a good idea to use his cousin and all the knowledge she is clearly accumulating.

“We should contribute too,” he says after a few seconds, pointing to the table full of presents.

“Yes, probably so,” she admits.

“Take care to find something appropriate to offer to the Faith. I will let you search the royal treasury for something worthy of our family.”

His words have the desired effect on Rhaena, who at first seems amazed, but then clearly pleased with the task he gives her. Aemond congratulates himself internally. Putting his cousin's skills to work, subtly directing them toward appropriate and convenient causes, would surely be simple.

“Will you really let me take care of such matter?”

“If it's a lot of work and you're not willing…”

“No, no, I'll be happy to do it,” she is quick to respond, “Thank you, cousin.”

Her smile widens and her violet eyes shine with contained emotion. Aemond feels his heart skip a beat when she gently squeezes his hand for just a few seconds.

Lady Blackwood interrupts the moment by announcing that the performance of some famous puppeteers is about to begin. The guests then disperse, some heading towards the stage Aemond had noticed upon entering the hall, and others remaining in small groups as they chat.

“We should go, the show will start soon,” Rhaena tells him.

“Not exactly my kind of fun.”

“You cannot sit here for the entire party, cousin, it doesn't reflect well on the guests of honor,” she responds, standing up, “Come, they come from the free cities, I assure you they are better than the ones they have here.”

Aemond ends up accepting. Besides, Tyland Lannister still hasn't returned and he doesn't feel like talking to anyone else.

***

A renewed round of laughter and applause echoes through the room.

Rhaena also joins in the cheers for the comedians. Beside her, Aemond remains almost stoic. She gets the impression that he hasn't enjoyed the show too much.

And why would you care if such is the case? She wonders as the men come out from backstage and greet the attendees.

It is been a splendid afternoon. She has danced and laughed as much as she hoped to since she found out about the party. She has met new lords of Westeros, new ladies who would perhaps become future friends, and has shared slightly snide comments with Marianne about potential suitors and various ladies' dress choices.

“We should go listen to the bard that Lady Blackwood hired,” proposes her friend, who walks beside her.

“Will you come with us, cousin?” she turns to Aemond. He grimaces in her direction and Rhaena smiles, “Yeah, I figured as much.”

Aemond simply nods in their direction and she watches him return to the table, where he joins the conversation with Tyland Lannister and Lord Hayford.

Rhaena links her arm with Marianne and they go in the direction of where a group, mostly women, has gathered to listen to the bard.

“Lady Rhaena”

The voice of a tall young woman with very black hair and deep blue eyes stops her. Rhaena offers her a kind smile as they walk towards her.

“Lady Baratheon,” she greets.

“It is an honor to finally meet you, cousin,” the young woman offers a sideways smile, “I hope I can call you that, considering we share ancestors.”

“Of course,” Rhaena nods and continues, “This is Marianne Westerling, my friend and lady-in-waiting.”

“My pleasure, Lady Westerling. I am Floris Baratheon.”

“Lady Floris,” Marianne greets, “I thought I saw your sisters here as well.”

“Indeed,” Floris steps away for a few moments and returns with two other young women with similar features, “These are Cassandra and Maris, my older sisters.”

After the usual pleasantries, Rhaena doesn't know what to say. She is usually very good in social situations, but something in the look of the Baratheon girls does not offer her much confidence, “Cousins, I would like…”

“I am sorry, Lady Rhaena, we should have started our conversation by congratulating you,” it is Floris who speaks again.

“Congratulating me?”

“For your wedding to Prince Aemond,” Maris responds.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Rhaena nods, “Thank you.”

“I assume you are aware that he was betrothed to me at the beginning of the war,” Floris rests her blue eyes on Rhaena’s.

“I heard it, yes.”

“He made quite an impression when he arrived at Storm's End offering our father a betrothal.”

“I imagine so,” she responds, trying to sound curt. She doesn't know where this conversation is going.

“Of course, being four of us, he had a difficult choice before him,” Floris takes a step towards Rhaena, openly examining her figure from head to toe, “He kissed the four of us and choose me.”

"What?" Her question sounds like a gasp.

“Prince Aemond kissed the four of us on the lips,” Floris repeats, her eyes shining with malice, “My kiss clearly stood out above my sisters' because I was the chosen one.”

Rhaena does not know what to say. What is she supposed to answer? She is under the impression that the Baratheon girls are only seeking to torment her with their words. But she could not care less. What difference does it make if Aemond has kissed them all?

Despite saying that to herself, a bitter feeling runs through her body and her gaze wanders to the main table for a moment.

“You clearly didn't stand out too much if the prince ended up breaking the betrothal.”

It is Marianne who responds, squeezing Rhaena’s hand affectionately.

“That is not what happened!” Floris hisses.

“Cousins,” Rhaena cuts in, clearing her throat, “I am glad you could come in time for my wedding. “It will be a pleasure for the prince and for me to have you all here with us.” Her eyes land on Floris's.

“We came to see our sister,” Maris replies.

“But perhaps I will take the opportunity to reminisce about old times with the prince,” Floris smiles wryly, “After what I heard about him, I will surely be able to visit him tonight in his chambers and…”

“Enough, Floris,” Cassandra interrupts, “I am sorry, Lady Rhaena, excuse my sisters' impertinence.”

“Don't worry, Lady Cassandra, now, if you'll excuse me.”

Rhaena walks with Marianne until they make their way through the crowd and listens to the bard, although she cannot concentrate on the man's songs.

"Are you okay?" Her friend asks quietly, looking at her with concern.

“Yes, of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Her voice sounds squeaky, so she clears her throat.

“Those Baratheon girls were very rude,” Marianne snorts.

“They are just…”

Rhaena doesn't finish. She doesn't know what to say. What did Floris feel? Jealousy? Rage? Disappointment?

“I know, they shouldn't have talked to you like that anyway, they clearly don't know their place,” anger is clear in her friend's voice.

“It is okay, it does not matter,” she assures her, “Let's forget their words, they just said stupid things.”

But said is easier than done, and even though she tries to enjoy the bard's art, her mind keeps repeating the words of Floris Baratheon. Was it true that Aemond had kissed them? Contrary to her will, the image of the Baratheon sisters standing next to the prince, waiting to be kissed, appears in her mind. A shiver runs through her body and, angrily, Rhaena directs her gaze to the sisters, who are whispering across the room.

“Let’s just go, we should eat something,” Marianne tells her a while later.

Rhaena nods and they say goodbye near the high table. Sighing, she walks over to her seat and helps herself to pies and fruit dipped in honey, grateful that Aemond pays no attention to her and continues conversing with the other council members.

More harshly than she should, Rhaena spears a piece of fig and puts it in her mouth. Although it tastes good, she does not particularly enjoy the flavor, but instead eats mechanically until her appetite it’s settled.

"What is the matter?"

Aemond's voice takes her by surprise. Rhaena turns to him, who looks at her with a frown.

“Do not know what you mean”

“Did the bard perform so poorly that you are suddenly in a bad mood?”

Rhaena bites her tongue to avoid responding with a curse. And to avoid asking what she really wants to know. Was it true that he had kissed them all? Thinking about his kiss, her eyes drift helplessly to Aemond's lips. Long, thin lips, what would his lips taste like? The thought surprises her and she looks away from his face, drinking from her glass of wine and trying to push those thoughts from her mind.

Fucking Floris Baratheon, she thinks to herself.

Fortunately, the music resumes and Rhaena excuses herself to go dancing. It doesn't take long for her to find a dance partner, so she tries to focus only on the beat of the music, although she feels her cousin's gaze on her at times, watching her as is his habit.

The songs follow each other in a cheerful rhythm and she continues dancing and jumping, although her movements are rather mechanical, her good spirits from a while ago spoiled. Rhaena excuses herself and heads to the side of the dance floor, suddenly feeling dizzy and fanning herself with her hand, internally cursing her tight corset.

On the other side Marianne catches her attention and questions her with her gaze, so Rhaena makes an appeasing gesture with her hand, not wanting her friend to stop dancing with Ser Simon Dondarrion, the handsome knight who seems very fond of Marianne.

“May I, Lady Rhaena?”

The presence of Lord Tarly, who extends his hand toward her, is unexpected. Rhaena, still not having fully caught her breath, considers rejecting the man, but in the end gives up.

“With pleasure, my lord.”

The man smiles good-naturedly and guides her back to the dance floor, “What do you think of King's Landing so far, Lady Rhaena?”

“The city has a particular charm”

Lord Tarly widens his smile, “Yes, I agree, although the lands of the Reach are, in my opinion, the most beautiful in all of Westeros.”

Lord Tarly, who is not exactly an old man, but who does have a fairly prominent belly, moves slowly, so Rhaena keeps up with him and tries to calm herself while breathing slowly.

“I do not doubt it, my lord, although I could not say that I’ve been in that part of the realm.”

“You should visit us, my lady, it would be an honor to welcome you to Horn Hill.”

“Perhaps once my dragon is bigger, I will ride on her back and take upon your word, Lord Tarly.”

“You would do well, the Reach is your ally,” he replies, “You have many friends in our lands.” The man fixes his brown eyes on her and Rhaena has the impression that his words hide a greater meaning. “We loyal men do not forget that the iron throne belonged to Queen Rhaenyra and her offspring.”

A lump forms in Rhaena's throat, who just studies the man intently.

“Fear not, Lady Rhaena, as I told you, we are loyal to…”

“The crown belongs to my cousin,” she cuts him off, trying to measure her words, “Aegon is king and I am to marry Prince Aemond in a few days.”

“A true disgrace, if I may,” he replies, “Your father, Prince Daemon, would never have permitted such an affront to his daughter.”

“My father is dead, my lord. The war is over"

The man stares at her again before speaking, “As I told you, Lady Rhaena, the throne belongs to the offspring of Rhaenyra Targaryen.”

The girl wants to reply, she wants to tell him that such offspring does not exist, that her brothers are all dead... but she prefers to remain silent.

“Fear not,” Lord Tarly repeats, “Lady Jeyne is a good friend and ally. We are watching over you, don't forget it.”

Rhaena is grateful for the song to end and she gives a quick bow before turning her back on the man.

Her head begins to pound as hard as her heart as she makes her way through the guests. Her hands, suddenly drenched in cold sweat, are almost shaking. What had the man implied? What did he intend to achieve with his words? Was this perhaps a game played by the dowager queen to test her loyalty? Rhaena looks around her, but no one seems to pay her much attention. Not even Aemond, who continues conversing with Lord Lannister.

Her words sounded too much like Lady Jeyne's, a small voice inside her whispers.

She had not wanted to think more about her conversation with the Lady of the Vale before she left the Eyrie, Rhaena did not want to know more about wars or confrontations. She just wanted peace. She did not want…

“Cousin, wait, please.”

Cassandra Baratheon grabs her arm, stopping her.

“Lady Cassandra, please, I do not wish to continue our conversation from earlier,” her voice sounds harsher than she intended, but she does not care.

“Please allow me to apologize on behalf of my sisters,” insists the young woman, “The way they expressed themselves was embarrassing.”

“Even so, you let them expand as they pleased for a long time before shutting them up.”

“Excuse me, Lady Rhaena, I know I was wrong,” she admits.

Rhaena taps her foot on the floor, eager to get out of the conversation, “Very well, you need not say more, Lady Cassandra, I will forget your sisters' impertinence.”

“I would like to assure you that we have no intention of tormenting you, we came here not only for your wedding,” Cassandra seems not to notice Rhaena's unwillingness to continue talking, “But also to see our sister Ellyn. We have been very concerned about her health”

Her words manage to calm her down a little. She had not considered the young queen into the picture, “Of course, it is understandable. I hope that Queen Ellyn continues to improve, surely your presence here will speed up her recovery."

“This is what we hope for, Lady Rhaena.”

There is a moment of silence between the two. Rhaena nods and prepares to leave, when she speaks again.

“And furthermore, I assure you that I will keep a close eye on Floris. She won't dare visit the prince at all. My sister likes to talk, but she wouldn't dare disgrace our father's name in such a way."

Perfect, Rhaena thinks, just what she needed. Cassandra Baratheon reminding her of such an unpleasant comment.

“Or disgrace you, at the same time. It is punishment enough, I believe, having to marry the prince."

"I beg your pardon?" Rhaena can't believe her ears

“Don't get me wrong, cousin, I don't mean to offend you. I only verbalize what the majority in the kingdom think. Prince Aemond is hardly a good choice for a husband, a vow-breaker as well as a kinslayer.”

Rhaena knows that well, but at hearing the words from Cassandra Baratheon's mouth, it is not sympathy that is born inside her, rather suspicion and anger.

“You shouldn't say such things about the prince,” she replies.

She seems oblivious to her comment, “Plus there is the matter of his appearance. I know it wasn't her fault because he was just a child,” Cassandra smiles at her and Rhaena is able to notice the malice in her expression, “But that grotesque scar deforms his face. And that eyepatch is in such bad taste,” the girl shudders, “A shame that a beauty like you is wasted on Aemond Targaryen.”

For the second time that afternoon, Rhaena doesn't know what to say. She is not entirely convinced that she heard correctly the words that came out of her cousin's mouth.

“I see that you are as malicious as your sisters,” she finally says, her voice hard because of the displeasure she feels inside her, “Be careful, Lady Cassandra, control your tongue or you will end up facing the consequences.”

The Baratheon girl's expression falters for a few moments and Rhaena feels a hint of discomfort, but she simply glares at her before striding in the opposite direction.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

@ammo23 @qyburnsghost @niocel @ithoughtulikedme @avidreader73 @jenmakeusin10 @morninglia @missing-loki @soyotelol (let me know if you want to be tagged)

Read on AO3

[voxofthevoid]

Choso's death is still making me feel things, it was *beautifully* done. Choso's been throwing himself in harm's way this entire fight so it felt inevitable, and Sukuna's big fire attack couldn't kill *no one.* Honestly only taking out Choso was impressive. But Choso's death scene? Yuuji being compassionate and telling him he did enough and was enough? My heart. It mirroring how Suku saw off Jogo and Kashimo, both in style and in content (the only time Suku is at all kind) was v intriguing.

Yess. It was so beautiful.

I said after the chapter that it's my second-favorite death after Nanami's, but on further digestion, it's climbed to the number one spot. Chōsō has been a walking death flag to me since he said he can't die yet because Yuuji still needs him. That, on top of his overall behaviour lately, seemed to pretty much scream he'd die sacrificing himself for Yuuji, though you never know with JJK.

But the execution is what really sold it. Both the way Chōsō saved him—turning himself into a protective sphere of blood is one hell of concept and goes so well with his entire motif—and the aftermath conversation killed me dead.

Another thing I keep fixating on is that this is the first time someone's dying purely for Yuuji's sake. It seems like Yuuji was at the epicenter, and Chōsō rushed in to save him. Even otherwise, it's a clear trade of Chōsō's life for Yuuji's. It's not a death Yuuji's witnessing or failing to prevent; it's a conscious, wholehearted choice Chōsō makes—Yuuji's life over his own. And I love the way Yuuji's kind afterward, telling Chōsō what he needs to hear to let go without any guilt, even though Yuuji's reaction before and after that scene shows he's devastated. It's a beautiful, emotional goodbye that suits them both so well.

I really wish we could see its lasting effects on Yuuji, but well, that rarely happens with JJK. After Shibuya, we had more arcs where Nanami or Nobara could come up. But this seems like the final stretch, and who knows if Yuuji will even survive.

And that little panel, with a tiny Chōsō chasing after a tiny Yuuji, the dialogue preceding it—that's got me feeling shrimp emotions, won't lie. Keep thinking of it and sighing.

This is the kind of tragedy I love. I wouldn't mind a sad ending if it's well executed.

...Though after 260, I'm back to having no fucking clue what Gege's doing.

(I've been slightly pent-up about this, anon, if you couldn't tell. Opened your ask, started typing, didn't stop 🤣)

[kattythingz]

Attack attack attack 🕯️🥤🥐🥝🐝

Literally every one of these questions was a targeted attack, what the FUCK Jinx. But fine.

🕯️ - on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?

Unless I'm in a bad mood and/or the premise doesn't interest me, it's actually most often a 9. Sometimes even a 10. It took me a long time to realize this (hello fiction workshop), but it turns out my passion for editing is its own beast. Something about helping others' writing. Pointing out their mistakes not to laugh at them, but to further their writing because I want to see that!!! I want my friends to see their best writing and I want to help them get there! It's the greatest honor! And, when I really get into it, it's honestly just a fun process!

(Usually. We don't talk about the fucking blood that went into editing ch4 of Crown.)

🥤 - recommend an author or fanfic you love.

MAY I INTRODUCE THE FINE PEOPLE TO @asthmaticbee's BRILLIANT HP X FMA AU "of elder, stone and cloth (of death, rebirth and closure)". THE SURPRISE RAREPAIR IS AMAZING AND I AM SO UPSET I DON'T HAVE OTHER CONTENT FOR THEM AND THE CHARACTER WRITING IS PHENOMENAL. THIS AUTHOR GETS ED ON SUCH A DEEP LEVEL. It quite literally had me high for the three or so days I spent bingeing the fic. I CANNOT recommend it enough.

🥐 - name one internet reference that will always make you laugh.

SONIC FANDUBS LMAO. My little brother and I recite them at each other all the time (I suspect it's a verbal stim at this point?), and I can't. It's so fucking funny each time.

🥝 - do you lie a lot? What's the most recent lie you told?

Jinx, seriously. What have I done to insult you lately? /j

I do actually lie a lot lmao. That's kinda a necessity in a controlling household like mine, so it uh. Kinda happens like breathing. Which is mayhaps not a good thing, but. You know. Gotta do what you gotta do. I can't remember my most recent lie, aha. (Another shining endorsement for me, ik.)

🐝 - tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them.

I am honestly so blessed to say—it's so many people? I can't even tag them all off the top of my head. The recent support I received on ch5 of Crown was so fucking huge, I'll forever be unwell over how nice all my readers are?? I'm so grateful to everyone.

Off the top of my head, however, I MUST specifically tag @ilovepannacotta @sirchenchen @hijinks-n-lowjinks @crystalizedirongoblin and @thewitchqueen281

Panna, you brilliant fucking bitch, you've been struggling with your art lately but you are genuinely my favorite edling artist out there. You never fail to blow my expectations out of the water, and I hope you'll agree with me on that one day. Chen, your mind is so brilliant, and your aus are so thoughtful and deep and you ask questions I never considered before that then get ME thinking. Jinx, your understanding of Greed as a character, and Al too, have quite literally saved my ass several times. Citrine, I... can't think of sth specific cuz we don't actually talk often, but your support for my yj x fma crossover motivated me so much more than you think, esp since I was in a dry spell with Crown at the time. And Avi, you've literally been my ground support since ch1 of Crown. Your early asks gave me so much hope that this revamp might actually stand a chance, and then you further devastated me by writing me a goddamn 8k fic.

I'm grateful to all my readers, but you guys esp... you did sth deep to me. And I don't think I'll be normal again cuz of it. I love y'all <3

[nourrris]

peter parker

(going off the tom holland vr! this is going to be a very long ramble about the character) i cant get over how genuinely hauntingly sad peter parker is, when the idea of peter parker was created, (to be different incomparsion of other characters), because you have a teenager superhero - it's such a good concept mind you - but god? having somebody so young have such a large role on their shoulders is insane, and it's so interesting because just the change in age literally completely fundamentally changes his characters actions and future, he'll have more impulsive decisions, extreme mental issues (which is unavoidable in his situation), and simply a very difficult time trying to navigate.

his level of severe childhood trauma (which quite literally gives you a form of brain damage) will ultimately affect his entire future and actions, he saw his uncle die at what 14? maybe younger? that itself even without the spider-man part is horrid, he never had the chance to even grieve because he was thrown into the most life changing event of his life, he also had no parents either, he has a very significant lack of figures in his life that is so hard to change how they impacted him. what happened in homecoming was the least terrifying experience he probably went through which says alot when a whole warehouse fell upon him and he was just /inches/ way from dying near the end from the vulture.

then infinity war happens next, his fight's and experiences horribly scary situations that nobody could probably even digest at such an age, or even older. and when he 'dusted' its obvious it takes a toll on him before it even happens, he could feel it, and god isn't that scary to think of? the unstoppable force of death? then fucking endgame happens, which i honestly can't even believe the fact that if i said it wasn't the worst thing that happened to him i'd be right, even though he saw somebody who he considered a 'father' figure die in his hands.

excluding that even if tony never died peter would have never recovered mentally so normally, seeing how he was beat up to hell holding that gauntlet was so fucking terrifying. he was tossed around so much and he quite literally held the most dangerous and world altering item in his hands, and if he lost it he'd have the entire world's blame on him. thats so much responsibility a newly(?) sixteen year old should never have, you cannot possibly tell me that it wouldnt literally alter his brain from the terror.

far from home is one of my favorite movie's ever but never fails to make me cry. he didn't even get the time to grieve tony, or the fact that his entire world changed in the matter of days, or the experience it was to endure the endgame fight, how can you casually go back to school after witnessing and /participating/ in the fight that could have possibly entered in the doom of the world again or bring it all back. then mysterio happens, which in my opinion is one of the absolute worst villains that peter's fought, because he was just so human. he ruined peters life completely, and he was just another human. wouldn't that make somebody so bitter? that no your life wasn't completely thrown away to shit by the big evil purple alien, but by another full human. absolutely nothing special to him power wise, not possessed, no weird voices, he did it with pure manipulation and thats one of the worst possible things i could have imagined somebody doing to him.

because peter at the end of the day was just a complete kid, mysterio made him believe he could trust him and peter did, he just lost so much in his life that somebody who could finally understand him was all he needed to feel assured, its why the significance of that one talk they both had after fury was being a dick to peter was so important, mysterio decided to go for such an emotionally devastating route it's unbelievable. but seemingly manipulating his trust wasn't enough, he just had to fuck him up so bad with that illusion scene, putting everything he loved against him and god the stark part was so fucking cruel, but after it all the part that hurt so much to watch was when happy got to him, peter questioning if he was real is so cruel. making this poor kid unable to trust his surroundings (after also being hit by a fucking train!), when he already had so much psychological issues going on is literally the cruelest fate he could have given him at the time.

and lastly no way home, and his future at that. mysterio exposing peters identity was such an irreversible decision that i honestly believe no matter what peter did, there was nothing that could give him or his loved ones the life he wanted unless if he did try to make everybody forget him. like if he originally went to the lady to re-persuade her to let his friends in it wouldnt have worked, and it also showed that much before peter ended up saving the lady in the car, all their fates were fucked and frankly there was no good way to get out of it, he was so absolutely doomed.

may parkers death was the worst of it all i think, i believe from everything that's happened to him, that absolutely nothing would affect him the way she died did. every other death of a loved one that had happened he couldn't truly take the blame for, but knowing how everything lead up to him is the most excruciatingly important detail. he canonically blames himself and i dont believe that feeling will ever end up going away. there's just no way it could, the fact he was the last person who ever saw her alive, the last person she spoke too, he quite literally saw the life drain out of her, there's no way to recover after seeing the person who's been with you for longer than you can remember die in your hands, and in the hands of your accidental actions.

i dont think there was a world were he could have escaped that death coming, peters identity being out as spider-man would have definitely done something in the future, and the problem is everything in no-way home happened in the smallest time stamp ever, i could be wrong but i believe it all went down in a few days at most, there was no way to even comprehend the absolute mental load and overwhelming amount of information being handed to him, nor do i think he'll manage to get over it easily later on either. the idea of different versions of him existing is so much to chew on, the idea of other versions of him living the happier life he could have, ones that never have the people he loves in them, ones where the people he loved are still alive, or some of them even. he even directly saw worlds where their peter parkers arent forced to be forgotten.

this version of peter lost so much that its impossible to cope with, all the peters lost alot already, like all of them didn't have parents iirc, all lost uncle ben, but the tobey and andrew spider-man had a living aunt may, then tobey's lost harry (?), and andrew lost gwen.

this version of peter parker lost both uncle and aunts, parents (of course), and tony stark. this is all just by death, he also lost his best friends, and girlfriend. they stay forever out of reach which is so tauntingly cruel. because he starts at 13/15 (pre homecoming) and by 17 (nwh) he's at the same point of all the other spider-man's started where theyre practically completely alone, or just experienced such a stark change to their lives.

my boy....... he deserves better..... sorry this is so long i had alot to say and i dont get the chance to talk about peter much and ive been recently hyperfixated on him since early feb and i love him so much and cant stop thinking or crying about him . also do tell me if i got any info wrong cause' ive only watched the tom holland trilogy, so im a bit uninformed there but did try to do some research!

[freckles-dean]

Here are some of my thoughts on Young Royals S3 ep 1-5

I’m just rambling here. This is probably going to be long, all over the place and not well articulated, so bear with me. 

And before I talk about the show, I just need to say that it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly talented all the actors are.

First of all, I don’t blame either Simon or Wilhelm. They are in an incredibly stressful situation. They are bound to make mistakes and I think their actions while being stubborn and lacking common sense are understandable.

I really loved Simon this season and i was so exited there was more of a focus on him. We finally got to some of how everything affected him. It broke my heart to notice he wasn’t the loudest in the choir anymore and then him saying he’s not enjoying music. Side note: Dude had some banger lines this season 

I find it ironic that everything that Wille found attractive in Simon’s in s1 became things that Simon has to shut down in order to be with him

If you told yesterday me that today me was actually okay with an August redemption arc, I would not have believed you. This in no way excuses his behavior, and he still has a lot to work on, but I think it was one of my favorite parts of this season. 

I am not at all surprised by the Erik thing. since s1 I kept wondering when Willie's perfect image of him would come crumbling down, but can’t imagine how devastating it would be to learn that the person who was there for you the most was not this perfect person you thought they were and might not even accept you.

I was rooting hard for Micke and Sara. I knew it was unrealistic that he wasn’t going to hurt her again, but it was still so heartbreaking that he couldn’t pull it together for her. I think there are bigger issues going on than his ADHD that needs to be handled. 

Why does the queen get space and help with her anxieties and grief, but when Wilhelm is struggling he gets no support and is seen as embarrassing and problematic???? 

Why the fuck was it Wilhelm's responsibility to teach Simon what not to do? Obviously, this kid who has never been in the public eye has no idea what he should or shouldn’t do, it almost seems like it was deliberate to get Wilmons relationship to fail idk. It would have been so easy to get something to teach him some basic media training. It's just disturbing how the court had absolutely zero regard for Simon’s safety. 

I’ve seen people talk about Wilhelm being controlling over Simon. Is it acceptable or excusable behavior? Absolutely not, but let me put things into perspective. Wilhelm was raised in an abusive and very controlling environment. His opinions and feelings didn’t matter, and he was told it was love, so it made sense that he would try to do the same for Simon and expected him to go along with it. I think expecting Wilhelm to have healthy relationship skills is unrealistic, and the show never pretended he did. It’s been pretty obvious throughout that Wilhelm consistently projects his feelings and emotions onto other people. 

I still don't know if Simon was breaking up with Wille or not, or they were just trying to frame it that way to scare us (honestly hoping it leads into a more mature conversation), but if he was… Wilhelm had it coming. He hasn’t been handling things very well and is taking it out on Simon, which is just not okay, and he doesn’t deserve that.  

Before this season, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Wille abdicating, cause i still had this fantasy in my head of him as this queer king, but after everything I’ve seen this season, it’s so obvious how much this institution is killing him. He needs to get out and heal from his traumas and find out who he really is without all those rules and pressures.

I don’t even know if I want Wilmon to be an endgame. Obviously, I do, but at this point, I don’t think that’s what’s best for either of them. It’s been very clear this season how much they don’t (at the moment) fit into each other's lives.. Either some major things have to change (Wille abdicating) or they need to split up. I just hope that both boys get a good ending, even if it’s not with each other. 

I don’t know... I’m emotionally exhausted, there are so many plot lines and I really don’t know how they are going to fix everything in one episode.

[solvicrafts]

One of my favorite recurring themes with the novels (including Legend of Drizzt and War of the Spider Queen) is that we repeatedly see a lot of characters we grow attached to realize just how fundamentally lost some of their closest friends and family are.

WARNING: Mild spoilers for WotSQ/heavy spoilers for LoD below the cut

We see it WotSQ with Ryld and Valas, both of whom are betrayed by someone dear to them (I’m being purposely vague here because I don’t want to spoil anything since I know a few people are in the process of reading WotSQ now). We see it with Jarlaxle and Arathis Hune, we see it with Artemis and his mother, we see it with Drizzt and Zaknafein (although Zak later comes around), we see it with Kimmuriel and Rai’gy, and there’s likely a ton more examples I’ve forgotten.

And each of these characters has a different reason for either failing the person they love or a different way of processing and coming to terms with that disappointment.

Ryld becomes more closed off around Pharaun, but is still capable of forming some attachments later on. Still, you can tell that his ability to trust people is damaged and he has lingering trauma over it. Ryld is definitely uncomfortable with certain aspects of drow life, but overall accepts everything stoically.

Valas is devastated but pulls through it and remains loyal to Jarlaxle and Bregan D’aerthe. Otherwise, he doesn’t seem to develop any close attachments that we know of, but he definitely does still care to a certain extend about Pharaun and Ryld. And in all fairness, he basically disappears after WotSQ and only reappears for cameos in LoD here and there. Interestingly, he’s even willing to try and build a friendship with Zaknafein. I find this *super interesting* because Zak indirectly told him that he killed his grandfather after coldly shutting him down, and while there was some tension for a moment, Valas was the one to attempt to make peace and didn’t take his offer for drinks off the table.

Jarlaxle is... well, he’s interesting and complicated in this regard. He doesn’t tend to be very open about his true feelings on things, and while he’s had a LOT of disappointments in life, we don’t see him really dwelling on them. He knew, for example, that Arathis was threatened by Zaknafein’s growing closeness to him, and initially found it almost entertaining before it got to the level that it did. But where I think this could potentially get really interesting is how it affects his relationship to Valas; we don’t see him interacting directly with Valas very many times, but when we do, they are cordial, and Valas seems to have a preference for Jarlaxle over Kimmuriel and is anxious for him to return as a leader in Gauntlgrym.

It honestly makes me wonder just how Jarlaxle perceives him, and what must have been going through his mind when Valas showed up on his doorstep after seeking out Bregan D’earthe following the fall of his house. We DO see that Jarlaxle is particularly attached to Braelin, and as I’ve mentioned before, he and Valas have a ton of things in common. And Braelin at the very least is aware of Valas, per his introduction in Maestro. He’s also roughly two centuries younger. Could Jarlaxle have had Valas train him as a scout? I think it’s pretty likely, and I wonder if part of his motivation for doing so might have been hope that:

a) Braelin, being “a commoner but of more noble heart” as Jarlaxle described him, might be a good influence upon Valas in the event he turned out more like his grandfather in temperament and morality than Jarlaxle hoped.

b) Valas would be a good mentor for Braelin and keep him away from the city, thereby limiting his exposure to the uglier aspects of their society.

c) History would not repeat itself like it did with Arathis, and he’d get two good scouts to replace the one he lost -- and it makes sense, especially since Braelin was rescued by Zaknafein at one point and probably reminded Jarlaxle of him. Maybe this is his way of making up for his perceived failure to keep the peace between Arathis and Zak?

Drizzt on the other hand does NOT take disappointment well at all. I think RAS and his books get shit on a bit more than they deserve, but one major criticism I do actually agree somewhat with is that Zaknafein’s return was handled horribly where Drizzt was concerned and it made Drizzt look like a petulant child.

I say ‘somewhat’ because Drizzt is still mentally pretty damn young by elven standards, and on top of that, he grew up absolutely idolizing Zaknafein and it never even occurred to him that Zak was STILL a product of his environment and had survived in it for far, far longer than Drizzt. Well... okay, it did, but I don’t think he really understood the full weight of it. I still think it could have been done better, but it does help to show how much more growing up Drizzt still has to do.

Artemis as we know took that betrayal VERY hard, but at least he got some closure in the end. Even better, he’s really connecting with other people now and forming strong friendship -- even with people he once hated! Some people are pissed about this, but I actually like it quite a bit.

And then there’s Kimmuriel... yeah, he doesn’t really acknowledge it AT ALL. But if you read between the lines, Rai’gy’s fall clearly had a major impact on him. He became a lot more serious about reigning Jarlaxle in, took over some of Rai’gy’s roles with magical item creation/duplication, and became even more closed off. Like Artemis, he’s starting to take small but meaningful steps in forming bonds with other people, and he’s finally beginning to open up about the traumas he’s been through. He was genuinely heartbroken over the (likely) loss of Jarlaxle and his friends, but not so much so that he was willing to immediately go for the nuclear option of taking Azzudonna to the hivemind despite fucking everyone getting on his ass about taking her there or torturing her directly.

What I also find absolutely fascinating about his development is that while losing Rai’gy was undeniably hard on him, I think it was also necessary for his growth. The Kimmuriel we saw in Servant of the Shard would have brutally and messily murdered Calico Grimm instead of settling for humiliating and sparing him. The Kimmuriel we have now actually defended Doum’welle to Gromph by telling him that his anger against her was misplaced and that she was, in fact, an undeserving victim. He also called out Gromph on his racist double-standards during their conversation about Catti-brie.

It’s taken a long time (as it should, given how extreme Kimmuriel’s tendencies toward cruelty and perceptions of other people once were), but Kimmuriel has come a long way, and I really look forward to seeing where he goes from here.

Anyway, these are my thoughts. I had no real reason for writing all this down other than the fact that I just love these characters and wanted to talk about them.

[frida--y]

ready??

ahhhhhh i loved go busters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was honestly surprised that it was mainly three rangers n two extras.. truly the best to ever do it.

It's just a beautiful show about living through your shared trauma and conquering pieces of it. Some of the more devastating parts of it is realizing how young everyone was.. like when Yoko turns 16 in the show, you recall that Ryuji was just 15 when everything happened.... and Yoko was only 3.. she cant even remember exactly what her mother looked like........ Yoko..

I really LOVED Yoko, I think shes a wonderful character, and I love her character dynamics with the whole cast. Her friendship with J is so cute! With Hiromu, I loved when he apologized to Yoko on how he couldn't keep his promise to her when they were kids on bringing everyone and her mother back during the first climatic fight.

You can really feel how this really affects Hiromu, a character who has had trouble speaking his feelings and is seemingly hard to get along with. I love characters like him, who have trouble being vulnerable and saying exactly what he feels. And of course I love Ryuji.. who doesn't..

He's so kind.. he truly loves the kids so much, when he was about to punch Kurorin for putting Hiromu in danger.. god I love Ryuji. He had great interactions with Enter and Escape. His rivalry with Escape also reminded me of Kobayashi's other sentai gingaman. We truly need more heated one-sided drama between men and woman. The fight scenes in go busters were amazing. Gonna always think about the wearhouse fight with Escape and Ryuji, good lord.

Banger of an episode and such an amazing way to get heated up, I love Ryuji.

And of course how could I not talk about Jin. I used him as my preview pic for my final thoughts.

Really loved him and J.. he's fantastic here- both him and J.. mentor characters are always great, but man.. the heroic sacrifice for the future of the next generation will always get me. His rage.. in the finale of at first being denied his sacrifice was great.. just one-by-one yelling at everyone was too much. Kobayashi why must you hurt me so.

The supporting cast was great!! As usual for a Kobayashi show lol I honestly thought Miho was going to ranger later when she was first introduced, I still feel pretty new when it comes to sentai so I don't know what to expect.

god. now Enter and Escape.

What characters, probably one of best so far, for me. I really loved how sympathetic Enter was in the beginning, at least for me I felt a little sad that he truly could not understand humans, but desperately wanted to. He wanted that recognition from Messiah who truly treated him and his interest like shit. You really start to root for him to be free from Messiah control, but when he does.. man is he evil. You even feel bad for him when Escape is made! Messiah made her and she has love! She's special! She has more human emotions than Enter and Messiah lets her do what she wants because she loves Papa! Enter is not loved and he'll never be loved. Favorite contrast between these two was Escape's symbol being on front while Enter's was on his back.

Enter's is such an evil bastard though, just completely irredeemable. LOVE IT! Made for one thing and one thing only, and wanted to be something more- and when he brags about finally understanding and knowing humans, he's wrong both in the way he thinks and the way he is. Never will be a human. Then when Escape died, he brought her back, even as failed version and with limited personality and loyalty, he hates that she's isn't the same.. He hates it so much he kills her in his rage and just revives her cause, of course he can't be lone! He has to have Escape, Escape has to be here. The jump from going "Enter's fucking evil lol" to "ENTER'S FUCNKING EVIL!!!" with 46-47 was amazing.. he's so cruel. Jeez man, when he brings her back and she's just so corrupted and he can't even kill her (out of the love data Escape downloaded before) and he just.. fucking leaves her and she just starts killing animals is soo.. man. man.. I love Escape and Enter.

I love her fighting form, it fits she's the first of the two to evolve. Great that Enter saw this and went, "well I can evolve too." Amazing characters, there's so much there for these two and they're one of the highlights of go busters!! You can go on and on about these two tbh..

Also the organic materials for the inorganic man.. chefs kiss babey. His robo is also sexy. And yo... when that other form comes out... I do not want to spoil it, it's so good.. so prefect, of course Enter would do this. Man, I'm recalling that I actually liked the mech fights in this... rare for a sentai for me lol

Heavy themes in this show, but so fucking good and well done!!!!!!!

pics that go hard... I don't usually take this long between finishing the show and writing my final thoughts (its been a month since I finished go busters lol), but man.. did not stop or hesitate after I started writing. This show fucking rules and is easily one of the best.

bonus Miho's desk buddies:

[estrellami-1]

@every-aj-needs-an-angel made “favorite lines from each chapter” posts and I’ve decided to do the same. Let me know if you don’t want to be tagged, lovely! ❤️

Chapter 1

“Ooh, and they’re saying you got your asshole bleached.”

“That one is true,” Alex says through a mouthful of chocolate with sprinkles.

“Thought so,” June says without looking up.

Just. Their sibling relationship is SO perfect. I’m in love.

Given the choice, he’d rather read one of the hundreds of glowing pieces of fan fiction about him on the internet, the up-to-eleven version of himself with devastating charm and unbelievable physical stamina, but June flat out refuses to read those aloud to him, no matter how much he tries to bribe her.

Once again, PEAK sibling behavior. I’m obsessed.

They were seventeen and eighteen and doomed from the start, both convinced they were the smartest person in any room. Alex has since conceded Nora is 100 percent smarter than him and definitely too smart to have ever dated him.

I need a Nora ASAP please. She’s fantastic. The second line has lived in my brain rent-free since I first read it.

“‘Arch nemesis’ implies he’s actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck- up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself.”

“Woof.”

“I’m just saying.”

Oh, Alex. You have no idea.

“Ew, you have Garden State on your watch list? Wow, how’s film school in 2005 going?”

“I hate you.”

“Hmm, I know.”

Actual footage of me and my youngest brother istg

Amy, his mother’s favorite Secret Service agent, a former Navy SEAL who is rumored around DC to have killed several men, sits across the aisle. She’s got a bulletproof titanium case of crafting supplies open on the couch next to her and is serenely embroidering flowers onto a napkin. Alex has seen her stab someone in the kneecap with a very similar embroidery needle.

I’m in love with all of this. Amy is who I aspire to be.

“Risk assessment: FSOTUS failing to check himself before he wrecks himself will result in greater than five hundred civilian casualties. Ninety-eight percent probability of Prince Henry looking like a total dreamboat. Seventy- eight percent probability of Alex getting himself banned from the United Kingdom forever.”

“Those are better odds than I expected,” June observes.

Alex laughs, and the plane soars on.

Once again where do I get a Nora. I love her.

“Do either of y’all know what a viscount is?” June is saying, halfway through a cucumber sandwich. “I’ve met like, five of them, and I keep smiling politely as if I know what it means when they say it. Alex, you took comparative international governmental relational things. Whatever. What are they?”

“I think it’s that thing when a vampire creates an army of crazed sex waifs and starts his own ruling body,” he says.

“That sounds right,” Nora says…

“I wish I were a viscount,” June says. “I could have my sex waifs deal with my emails.”

“Are sex waifs good with professional correspondence?” Alex asks.

Nora’s napkin has begun to resemble a bird. “I think it could be an interesting approach. Their emails would be all tragic and wanton.” She tries on a breathless, husky voice. “‘Oh, please, I beg you, take me—take me to lunch to discuss fabric samples, you beast!’”

“Could be weirdly effective,” Alex notes.

“Something is wrong with both of you,” June says gently.

I’m somehow all three of them. I love this exchange SO much.

His face is still infuriatingly symmetrical.

Alex. Buddy. You oblivious fuck.

“Aw, little buddy,” Nora says. She reaches over and pats his hand. “It’s cute how you think everything is about you.”

“It should be, honestly.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Once again I’m in love with Nora.

For a second, all he can think as he stares up at the ceiling while covered in frosting and champagne is that at least Henry’s dance with June won’t be the biggest story to come out of the royal wedding.

His next thought is that his mother is going to murder him in cold blood.

Alex worrying about the important things first.

[sonofthesaiyans]

Attack on Titan, where to even go now?

I don't even know how to feel about Attack on Titan ending. After years of cursing its existence, I'm just not sure what the hell to feel or what to do now that it's really done. After years of constant raving over every new opening theme, trailer, and after the thousands of cracks made about how season four just would NOT stop dragging out.........I honestly feel even emptier than ever.

I still remember back when Avatar: The Last Airbender was on.

For me, every episode of that show was a freaking experience. Everything about the world and its characters had me completely captivated, it was a phenomenally fun ride, and waiting for season three to air was a torturous wait. One that was worth it though.

When that show ended, I was truly happy and satisfied with its final episodes. I was on the edge of my seat, and it was so rewarding. I was heartbroken when I realized it was over and I still dearly miss my favorite characters from that show........but it truly ended on a high note, even if the ending was far from perfect.

With Attack on Titan...........the experience has unfortunately been the complete opposite.

It's been nothing but a trying ride, in the worst way possible. Despite my investment, it usually only filled me with dread. After that travesty known as Chapter 105: "Assassin's Bullet", I could not wait for the series to just die, or better yet crash and burn.

For me, the possibility of any satisfying conclusion went out the window five years ago, the only satisfaction I had was seeing how many people were as pissed a the manga ending as I was. I still stand by the fact that it's a hollow, unsatisfying end. In spite of all the anime onlys losing their collective shit because they think the animation and music magically did away with all its problems.

Unlike Avatar, I just feel regret with the ending. I can't watch the show again because of how angry it made me, but I'm even angrier than I hate it so much because I genuinely wanted to love it and for it to be better. The ending sucks, the entire fourth season I think is the worst and most shallow spectacle in anime. And yet it's because of what an empty and joyless experience it was that I'm actually devastated that it's over. Like, yeah I am fed up with the people who hyped this thing to hell and back, but I've invested so much into it and now I don't know where to turn that energy.

I have a far more sincere attachment to AOT's characters than I do to the actual show, like Avatar before Attack on Titan has some of my absolute favorite characters. So I take it VERY personally that they were treated this way and that this is the finish we're left with on the heels of all that.

I don't WANT to hate on Attack on Titan. I'm sorry I couldn't have attached to this the way everyone else did. But I also CANNOT defend the reasons so many people have for staying with it to the finish.

I try to swear off Attack on Titan: The Final Season as noncanon as I don't even like the people who animated that.......But the images that made it such a torment are too deeply burned in.

I wanted this show to go away and I wanted to see the ending fail, yes. Because I hate Hajime Isayama with a burning passion. But I love its characters and the people behind them too much that I desperately wanted better. I don't want to let those go.

Sorry, this post has gone on much longer than I was intending........I just don't know what to feel now.

Somebody help me make sense of this because I am scared of everything falling into irrelevance now.

[msmargaretmurry]

melbourne nhl anon here - i did have a lot of fun! and though one of the teams i do go for being there would have made it so much better, it was still an awesome first game for me. I went by myself, and sometimes that has an impact on enjoyment levels, but it really didn't this time - the atmosphere was super lighthearted and everyone seemed to be having fun (the organ player (i'm pretty sure that's what they were playing?), was one of the highlights), and i think the players were also feeling the same. despite some fails (map included), and the fact having my fav teams there would have made it so much better (i shouldn't be surprised i didn't - that would have been a win too far for me from fate, i think), it was still a great game and day overall! maybe someday i can travel to north america to see the teams i want to hahah

thank you for the update, anon, i'm so glad you had a good time!! ❤ it sounds like it was a nice event, and i'm glad the players seemed to be having fun too.

organ players are kind of a staple of sporting events in the states; i have no idea how prevalent there are elsewhere, but they are often a delight. one of my favorite sports things. my hometown team stopped using their organist last season after like two decades and i was devastated :( but i am extremely tickled that they had one there for your game!

i hope that one day you ARE able to come to north america and see the nhl teams you love here! honestly, truly, there is nothing like a good home game for the team you're rooting for. being surrounded by people who all love your guys as much as you do! it's just the best!!

[walker-extended-universe]

Father and Son Bonding: A Meta Discussion

My submission for Walkerverse Hiatus Creations.

Week 1: Favorite Character dynamics- Cordell and August

The bond between a father and a son is a special thing. I think it’s a real shame that we haven’t gotten to see more of Cordell and August together over the course of the show, but season 3 is making up for that in a big way. Their relationship has always been mostly positive, but their interactions are always short and often bear little meaning. Season 3 has done an excellent job in showing how that affected August and what needs to change.

I think season 3 has done an excellent job of showing just how important the bond between a father and a son is, and how devastating the results are when that bond is lacking.

From the very beginning of the show, Cordell has regarded August as the “safe” child, aka the one that didn’t need as much attention from him. August was viewed as mature and able to handle his own issues. It wasn’t until 1x04 and 1x05, when August started suspecting and accusing Cordell of leading a double life and wanting to run away from his own family, that the fog cleared and Cordell was forced to take a long, hard look at his son and how all this affected him. We did get occasional father/son moments but those were rare.

Season 2 still left us with little father/son time but there was a lot going on for everyone in the family and August still seemed to believe he could trust his dad to be there. Perhaps he was just holding onto the fact that his sister, the usual holder of the spotlight, would be gone soon.

Then we hit season 3, which gave us an August that felt untethered and ignored within his own family. He wanted, needed more time and attention from Cordell but, as usual, it was being directed toward his sister as she dealt with a transitional period in her life. He tried to go about this problem in a manner befitting of “August the Noble” by directly asking his dad for support during the flag football match at his school. Cordell failing to show up for that seemed to be the straw on the camel’s back that released months, if not years, of pent up frustration at his father. The result was August taking a page out of Stella’s playbook and acting out to get Cordell’s attention. Ironically, this earned him less attention as Cordell directed his anger at Stella. Even after she moved out, Cordell turned his focus to luring her back. This left August feeling free and easy to do as he wanted.

Until he took it a step too far.

I really want to highlight the scene we got between Cordell and August after the disastrous dinner-

Cordell: Part of me has been so caught up in saying goodbye to your sister that I lost sight of the fact that you’re still here.

Cordell has been too caught up in Stella’s antics to notice his son many times over the past few seasons to the point where he even ignores August’s antics and blames them on Stella and the statement above is very representative of that.

And then we got this:

August: You literally said you don’t even recognize me.

Cordell: And maybe that’s my fault…. You know, maybe part of me thought that you would figure it all out on your own. You know, figure out how to grow up. You were doing such a great job on your own. Honestly, a time came when I thought to myself ‘Hell, what do I even have to offer?’ But, son, it’s my job to help you understand the difference between right and wrong.

August has lost sight of himself in an attempt to become someone his father will notice. Cordell has pledged to help August get himself back on track. Hopefully, we’ll get more moments like this between them as the season continues.

[ecargmura]

Dog Signal Episode 17 Review - Ritsuka's Little Sister

This anime just hit me in the feels the third time straight. How is this even possible? Why is this anime so good? This time, the feelings I have are much stronger because I have two poodles that are senior dogs too. Their lives are going to end soon and I have to deal with that when the time comes. Watching this episode made me realize that I have to love them before they breath their last breaths. I need to spend more time with them…

Since Risala has retired from dog shows, she’s just a normal dog with a stylish haircut now. Originally, Fonte was going to shut down, but Ritsuka decided to take over as her mother and grandmother leave for another city to treat her the latter’s illness. Ritsuka loves her job, but sometimes, it can be hard when you’re doing everything. Because of work stress, she was on the verge of burn out, but she decides to enjoy her life outside of work to the point that she neglects Risala and fails to notice the changes in her health like excessive water drinking and lightly colored urine.

When Ritsuka learned that Risala has Cushing’s Syndrome, she becomes devastated. What is Cushing’s Syndrome? It’s a hormonal imbalance when the body produces too much cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that controls body weight and condition. It could either be in the pituitary gland or in the adrenals. For Risala, it’s in the former. She’s slowly losing fur and getting weaker. Ritsuka does put her on medications and she was able to live for one more year.

It was nice seeing how close she and Niwa are. They’re like zero boundaries friends. While they aren’t dating, they’re very touchy and can do things normal couple can do without thinking too much about it. They probably do have feelings for each other, but I’m sure they’re more focused on their jobs to focus on each other for now. Whether it’s romantic or platonic, you can see that they’re ultimate best friends. My favorite part is seeing Fujiwara shipping them so bad; he’s like their biggest shipper. Niwa ultimately talks some sense into Ritsuka after he notices her neglecting Risala, something unlike her. He wants her to get back on track and do something for her sister. Even if she’s no longer a show dog, Ritsuka can still make a cute haircut suitable for her and that’s what she does. Ritsuka was almost close to getting work burnout but thanks to Niwa, she gets herself together. I swear, Niwa solves everyone’s problem—Ritsuka’s not even a client and he solved her problem!

I was legit both Ema and Niwa when it came to tears. I’m glad that Ritsuka found a new appreciation for her job and decides to use it to help out customers, even those with ill dogs, because she wants them to live their lives too the fullest until the very end. She won’t get a new dog because it’s hard to care for another one after going through most of her life with Risala. Honestly, I don’t think I can take care of another dog if mine passes away. I don’t want to replace my cherished memories with my dogs. If any of you have old pets, how are you coping?