#fag hag

[campgender]

Do you have a light?

The bigger one shifts her eyes like a grizzly bear guarding her young. She squeezes the other girl’s hand.

Do you know where you are, honey?

Yes. I’m at a dyke bar.

You here with friends?

Not tonight. Why?

The skinny one shakes her head and laughs.

It’s just—no offense, but you look like a fag hag. Like a straight girl who comes to these places with her gay guy friends, and expects the butches to just fall all over her. Or like a bisexual. Sorry. You don’t look like a real lesbian.

She wasn’t entirely wrong. My queer identity is, to an extent, based on my intimate friendships with gay men and my affinity for aspects of their specific culture. I went to my senior prom with an entourage of theater fags, and we styled my hair and makeup to look like some grotesque combination of Mae West and Joan Crawford, complete with fake lashes and lips painted in a huge red bow. I wiggled around in a lacy vintage dress that barely contained my curves. When I look at photos from that night, I realize that the campy display is one way I perform my gender. I’m a hag, and I’m a femme. Both of these names are important to me. Unfortunately, people seem to believe and understand only the first one.

from “Confessions of a Fag Hag Femme” by Sasha Elise Cohen

published in Visible: A Femmethology, Volume 2, ed. Jennifer Clare Burke (2009)

[acelessthan3]

in weab they don't say "fag hag", they say "fujoshi" and I think it's beautiful

[demonbismuth]

We're the

FAG HAGS

And we're gonna put a spell on youuuuuu

gonna put a spell on you

[stargirlshojo]

as a woman i’d do this for free because i’d have lots of friends and none of them would wanna bang me

😂😂😂

[gaybaseball-fan]

[druidrevival]

Camila Cabello hanging out and being besties with Lil Nas X is sending me because…well we know 🫣💀💀

[drmonkeysetroscans]

The trap is set.

[tattooed-alchemist]

I was gifted a football helmet for my 4th birthday. My mom made me a Batman costume for Halloween. I played with Legos, and an erector set, and Capsela (remember those?!) and built forts. I had a dad who was a chemist and taught me scientific method, and I would make up experiments and write notes about them. I preferred guy movies. I stopped shaving my body, and cut off all my hair. And all of these things were peaceably viewed as phases that I would grow out of, or just a passing interest. I had a boyhood and it was ignored and denied right to my face as I was having it.

does anyone else feel they were robbed a boyhood? i wanted to play footboll with other boys, stay up super late and secretly talk about the girls we like at sleepovers, ride out bikes around during summer. Eating chips as we watch movies we're not supposed to. but i never got that. all i got was being a lonely fat girl who's too masculine and weird for either group

[variousqueerthings]

no but it's genuinely so funny how quickly dani becomes part of the lito/hernando dynamic, and it's not not organic, but it's absolutely deliberate on her side, like she came in, found out they were gay because hernando was sprawled out naked on their bed with just a drape of duvet covering his nether regions, told lito off for making her a beard without her consent only to try and fob her off when she discovered the truth, offers to be his ongoing beard provided she can crash, tells them how much she loves gay porn and then wanders around their house half naked and sleeps in their bed, and hernando is like "well she complimented my ceviche how can we say no?" smash cut to her getting off while they have sex on the balcony

[veronicalodgefaghag]

fag hag is the ideal companion role

[dominickearney]

elspeth knew felix had a thing for ollie and when she saw them interacting she picked up on it being mutual. it's why she didn't take ollie flirting with her seriously and why she randomly brought up being a lesbian in her past (it was to let him know she's comfortable w gays). in this essay i will-

[blorger]

I have a confession to make: I love Pansy Parkinson.

I love her little snub nose, I love her big DH moment (even though as readers we're supposed to hate it) but, most of all, I love her because jkr hates her.

I'm not being hyperbolic when I say this either, we have it straight from the horse's mouth:

I loathe Pansy Parkinson. I don't love Draco but I really dislike her. She's every girl who ever teased me at school. She's the Anti-Hermione. I loathe her. Yeah, sorry! Sidetracked there by my latent bitterness.

("PotterCast Interviews J.K. Rowling, part two." PotterCast #131, 24 December 2007)

I recently found myself wondering how, for a self-professed Pansy stan, I sure know very little about her as a character. If we take aside the fact that I derive psychic joy from being a contrarian (especially when it comes to jkr and her garbage views), is book Pansy actually an interesting character or do I just like the Pansy that the fandom's collective unconscious created? Who even is Pansy, really?

Because I'm me and there's no problem that can't be answered by amassing huge amounts of informations, I went ahead and prepared

a Persuasive Primer to Pansy Parkinson

PART 1: PANSY'S PERSONAGE

The character of Pansy Parkinson has been present in the Harry Potter series since book 1. Her name shows up briefly during Harry's sorting since she's close to him in the class list but her first real appearance occurs during the Remembrall Incident, where jkr sets up two of her character's mainstays: her looks and her meanness.

This very first description of Pansy's face as severe and pitiless-looking is perhaps the kindest one we get in the books, since the only other times Harry, our narrator, bothers to describe her appearance he calls her pug-faced, which incidentally is where we as a fandom (and, clearly, the HP movies casting directors) got the idea that she has a snub nose.

Other than these vague and unkind descriptors, Pansy's looks are left to our imagination; the brunette bob she is well known for is a movie creation and the only other description relating to her appearance is that of the robes she wears for the Yule Ball in book 4, which are very frilly and pale pink.

As any scholar of JKR Studies worth their salt can tell you, jkr is a consummate misogynist who loathes pink and only uses it in order to give a negative connotation to something/someone; pink=girly, which is bad, and frilly=superfluously, ostentatiously girly, which is the worst possible thing a female character in the jkr extended universe can be. jkr has a lot of opinions on what constitutes an acceptable performance of femininity and the character of Pansy Parkinson exists to exemplify the complete opposite of that.

PART 2: A PERNICIOUS PERSONALITY

What can we learn from Pansy's tone? Firstly that she is shrill and annoying, as she shrieks and screeches; in her role as part of Draco's entourage she's both a mindless follower who simpers and an active participant who spreads gossip and maligns by whispering and giggling mean-spiritedly.

jkr created Pansy in the image of the girls who bullied her in her youth so Pansy has an entourage all of her own, an unnamed gang of Slytherin girls (they're always referred to as such, no further description provided) who appear in a greek chorus-like fashion to herald the bullying of Hermione (Ideal Woman and self-insert supreme).

So, what can we learn from Pansy's insults? well, for one that she doesn't like "fat little crybabies", as shown in the excerpt above. Furthermore, when she's not parroting Draco's insults, Pansy shows a single minded preoccupation with the life and looks of one Hermione Jean Granger

(from GoF, Pansy has Opinions of Rita's Skeeter's aricle)

(from GoF, Pansy is there to show us that Hermione was Beautiful All Along)

(from GoF, Pansy helps Rita Skeeter with her character piece)

(from GoF, Hermione suffers the fallout from Rita's article, Pansy is vigilant to any and all Hermione news)

We'll look more closely at Pansy and Hermione's relationship in a short while but for now let us focus on more of Pansy's barbs; I would like to take to this moment to highlight the following:

(from OoTP, Draco's gang shows up to the Gryffindor quidditch practice to do some heckling)

I find it notable that the only time Pansy insults the looks of someone who isn't Hermione it's when she makes a racist microaggression towards Angelina Johnson, one of the very few black characters in the books. While this is unquestionably vile behaviour, I struggle with interpreting jkr's intentions: does jkr even know and/or understand microaggressions? Is Pansy's insult even meant to be interpreted as racist? Does racism as we know it even exist in the hp universe?

Personally, I've always gotten the impression that the wizarding world was meant to represent a post-racial society in a very United Colors of Benetton, "I don't see race" kind of way that is very typical of nineties pseudo-liberalism, no doubt to give more space to her blood purity system (and because someone like jkr has no interest in even mentioning the pervasive effects of racism in society). Still, let's not discount what is no doubt one of Pansy's lowest moments in the books, regardless of the reading we choose vis à vis jkr's intent.

To cleanse our palates, here's a more benign insult:

(from OoTP, Harry and Cho's date is but a collection of unfortunate moments)

While I'd put the Cedric reference pretty high on the Insensitivity Scale, I find myself reluctantly entertained by Pansy's drive-by read, especially because Harry IS a garbage boyfriend to Cho.

What else do we know about Pansy's personality from the books? For one, that she likes unicorns but considers showing it outright to be undignified:

(from PoA)

We know that Pansy is made a Prefect in OotP and, while the books never specify the parameters used to choose Prefects and Hermione implies Pansy wasn't chosen for her smarts ("she's thicker than a concussed troll" is the actual quote, though Hermione's objectivity is questionable), we can assume that, at the very least, she is somewhat of a leader among the Slytherin girls (on account of the aforementioned gang).

Finally, we never hear Pansy's opinion on blood purity although it's safe to assume that it's not terribly progressive on account of the company she keeps.

PART 3: PASSIONATE PARAMOUR

While the books never state conclusively wether Pansy and Draco are ever a couple (in fact, neither of them says a word about the other in the books), we know both from statements jkr has made irl and from the in-universe characters' opinions that we are supposed to treat them as a couple of sorts. The evidence for that is as follows:

Draco is implied to exagerate the extent of his Buckbeak injury in order to garner sympathy from Pansy in PoA:

Pansy is Draco's date to GoF's Yule Ball

the infamous carriage scene in HBP:

and

and

Ron assumes that the boasting witnessed by Harry on the train was done in order to impress Pansy.

and

Regardless of wether you want to read their relationship as romantic or not, Draco and Pansy clearly hang out together a lot from the ages of 13 onwards; Pansy is often mentioned as part of Draco's posse together with Crabbe and Goyle and she's further shown as an active participant in his various schemes, most notably in the popularisation of Weasley is Our King:

(from OotP)

Pansy appears to have a genuine interest in Draco's wellbeing as shown by her concern when Draco is injured by Buckbeak in PoA:

and

Pansy if further shown to be understandably upset when Harry guts Draco like a fish in HBP:

So we can conclude that, although we have no idea of Draco's feelings, Pansy feels authentic affection for Draco.

PART 4: HERMIONE HATER?

Pansy is positioned as sort of the Female Draco: while Draco's job is to antagonize Harry and Ron, Pansy is there to deliver the Girl insults to Hermione, the Girl One of the trio. While jkr's intention was no doubt to paint Pansy as a straightforward bully, her singleminded interest in Hermione displays the same pigtail-pulling connotations as Draco's behaviour throughout the books.

Their first exchange comes by courtesy of Hermione, who hits her with her trademark condescension, which seems to specifically drive Slytherins mad like nothing else (the first "mudblood of the books comes as a direct response to one such occasion):

(from GoF, Pansy enjoys the potter stinks badges, hermione begs to disagree)

Following this exchange, we start to see Pansy engage in your typical Mean Girl behavior, which, apart from the preoccupation with her looks shown above, also includes laughing at Hermione's expense:

(from GoF, Hermione was hit by a stray curse and her teeth grew to a comical size)

and

(from GoF, Pansy shows hermione the infamous "harry is in love with Hermione" article by Rita Skeeter, which features a quote from her)

While we never see Hermione respond in kind (since her preferred method of dealing with bullies is the could shoulder), we know that this behavior definitely colors her opinion of Pansy

(from OotP, Hermione is displeased when Pansy is made Prefect)

and

(from OotP, Fred and George's departure from school left a vacuum in the prankster hierarchy and all manners of students jumped up to fill the spot)

All in all, we don't have a very precise read on the relationship between the two: do Pansy and Hermione exchange barbs whenever they meet? are they enemies or is Hermione a sainted martyr suffering in silence (on account of her moral superiority)? Just how closely do they parallel Harry and Draco's rivalry? You decide.

PART 5: PANSY'S POLEMICAL POSITION

Finally, we come to Pansy's Big Moment

(from DH, Pansy says the quiet part out loud and is banished for it)

During the Battle of Hogwarts, Pansy displays the ultimate act of Evil (in jkr's eyes) by not behaving Bravely when faced with an impossible decision. To give context, Voldemort has just given the students of Hogwarts a way out of the whole mess:

Personally, I hate this scene. Pansy doesn't know shit about just how essential Harry is to ending the whole shebang; furthermore, she's just a scared student living out her own version of the trolley problem and yet the narrative frames her (imho) understandable reaction not only as unforgivable cowardice on her part but has a condemnation of Slytherin house as a whole.

I hate how the Hogwarts student body is alternatively portrayed as a mindless horde whose opinion can be swayed by the faintest of rumors (as seen by public opinion turning on Harry in CoS, GoF and OotP) and as a prop to show the Right Way. The Hogwarts student body is essentially pulling a Spartacus moment except their reactions are somehow neatly divided into Houses: it's not some individuals who choose to react bravely and motivate the rest, its the Gryffindors as a whole, moving like a single-minded hive, who influence the other single-minded hives of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaw. The individuality of all of these people is ignored in service of an impactful scene and the one person who shows a dissenting thought is summarily removed (together with the Evil Slytherin hive, which did not express any opinions but is nonetheless blackened by association).

jkr's bullshit black-and-white worldview rears its ugly head here and what could have been a genuinely moving moment of student solidarity - showing people from different backgrounds coming to the defense of Hogwarts together - becomes a condemnation of those who dare oppose the righteous horde instead.

In a moment in the books that feels very biblical, the non-believer who dares doubt the Savior is shunned and summarily dealt with (which opens up a whole can of worms about the Jesus-ification of Harry that I'm not prepared to go into). Pansy is merely a prop in this scene, a stand-in for the whole of her house, yet I appreciate her very human reaction: she's the only person in that room to show individuality, expressing the fear and doubt that most people would feel when placed in a similar situation.

I appreciate how Pansy goes against the grain in one of my least favorite scenes in the whole books but I acknowledge that her big moment is not really about her, nor does it tell us anything about her character that we didn't already know: All Slytherins Are Evil and the best they can hope for is to just be slimy and opportunistic (à la Slughorn) instead of straight up villains.

PART 6: PERSONAL PERORATION (or: I really shot myself in the leg with the whole alliteration thing)

So, what did we learn kids? First of all that the Pansy in the books, as intend by jkr, is an irredeemable, uninteresting shitstain, less of a fully-formed character and more like a vaguely defined caricature of a Mean Girl.

While my instinct is to go against this cartoonish portrayal and attempt to read some complexity in her thoughts and motivations, I acknowledge that, to some, Pansy is forever tainted by the harsh way in which she's depicted and therefore will forever remain unlikeable. Personally, I find myself drawn by characters with seemingly nebulous motivations and, since I don't share jkr's shitty deterministic worldview, I can see scenarios where she grows as a person; I enjoy seeing different explorations of her characters in fics just like I enjoy reading about her fellow b-team villains in general.

Choose the path that sparks the most joy for you and live your truths my friends, ignore this primer completely or allow it to change (or reinforce) your opinion of Pansy, your feelings are valid regardless.

xoxo

[gaybaseball-fan]

[grubbyposting]

Transitioning would’ve saved him

[yes-dillman-yes]

These are actually INSANE things to assume and say to me because I disagree with the presence of Tommy.

As a queer man, my preference with representation would be a beautiful slow burn between two men who have unintentionally intertwined their lives together. But I digress…

My post about Tommy was not in defense or in favor of Eddie/Buddie. Even if that ship did not exist, I have a problem with Tommy and his character.

I will not forget his workplace racism or his dismissiveness of Buck (his reactions during the bachelor party scenes, his comment about daddy issues). Tommy was a half cooked idea that carries no chemistry and is quite frustrating to see ESPECIALLY BC I WANT TO SUPPORT THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

If you want to have an adult conversation that isn’t covered in “ship war” material, let’s have one - otherwise keep your accusations to yourself. I was polite enough to not tag Tommy or the ship name of Tommy/Buck because I understand that the people in that tag probably don’t want to see that type of commentary. Have some respect.

[aclaywrites]

You’ve all heard the joke, yeah? How many lesbian feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, and that’s not funny.

I believe that there are more gay men’s bars for several reasons, the biggest reason being the stereotypes and attitudes of straight people towards gay men and lesbians. Gay guys are fun! They’re camp! There’s disco and drag shows and sexy shirtless guys with glitter on their ass cheeks. Gay men are fun, yeah? Always sassy and sardonic and love to look their best! Straight girls love to go to gay bars because the guys won’t hit on them, and they drag their dates along and it’s a wild good time for everyone! So new ones open, with a bigger dance floor, or a stage for better drag shows, or the biggest Halloween costume extravaganza in the whole city!

It’s also true that gay men on average earn a lot more than lesbians, and have much more disposable income for pricey cocktails and new year’s galas, so there’s another reason to open another club.

In some small towns there’s only enough market for one bar, so for sure it’s gonna be the boy bar because they’re gonna bring their straight girl friends, and maybe there’ll be a bachelorette party!

And who’s gonna go to a lesbian bar besides lesbians? Straight girls don’t want to get hit on by dykes. They’ll tell you that as soon as you come out to them (I don’t mind but I’m not gay, so….). Straight men are not welcome. I’ve danced on some lesbian bar dance floors, but they’ve never been mirrored and glittery with banks of video screens. I’ve been to a lot of women’s folk nights, with sliding scale cover charges and bottled beer. Women don’t make as much money, either, on average, so a bar wouldn’t be much of a big profit investment.

Gay men are fun and a good market. Lesbians aren’t and aren’t.