#silly humor

[babygirl-diaz]

Eddie: I would make a fantastic housewife Buck: Okay, I'll bite. How so? Eddie: I would wake up real early, make you and our kids breakfast, pack your lunches, send you off to work, take our kids to school, come back home, and make me and our 2-year-old breakfast. Then I would do laundry, and clean up after you and our 6 kids -but I love you all so I am not mad- while Austin takes his mid-morning nap- Buck: Have you been watching day-in-the-life of a housewife videos? Also, our youngest is called Austin? Eddie: Yes, I have and yes he is. There's Christopher, Eliza, Isaac, Aaron, Christina, and Austin. Buck: And I am guessing there is no room for argument there? Eddie: I cook, clean, and let you fuck me 6 ways to Sunday. The least I ask is that you let me name our kids, Buck. Buck, putting his hands up: Okay, okay, whatever you want. Eddie, stepping closer to Buck: I am flexible in other regards, though. Very, VERY flexible. Pilates sure helps with that. Buck, gulping: Pilates? Eddie: You can fuck me 6 ways to Sunday, whatever way you want. I'll even spend my spare time learning new positions for you. Buck: Damn, you WOULD make a fantastic housewife Eddie: Told you I would

[this-creature-is-weird]

Hannibal:I am a man who loves classical music, exotic food and I surround myself with important people, I hope to find a partner of the same level as me

Will: *appears in pijamas, surrounded by dogs, a cup of "teacher #1" coffee, smells like sweat, hasn't slept well in weeks, he lives far from all civilization and human contact, possibly will die a virgin*

Hannibal: He's perfect

[jonathananubian]

Me, reading a fanfic;

"This is my jam! Why hasn't the author updated in a while? Who wrote this?" Checks author name...

Me. I wrote it. Fuck.

[fishtank-12]

Whiteboard doodles

[weepingfoxfury]

Happy Caturday from Captain Blackbeard and his half with it hooman!! :-)

Today's groaner: how do gnomes greet one another at their yoga class? ... they bow and say gnome-aste ;-D badoom tish ... here all week!!

Captain Blackbeard is helping ... immeasurably. Let's get some stuff sorted, I said ... I will be your able assistant, He said.

Most of these cupboards and spaces are full, so where are you going to put everything?, He asked ... You're beginning to see my problem, I said, smiling.

This is more colourful and soft than Blue Mountain and I sit very well on it, so what's to sort? He said ... It is indeed a very fine alternative to Blue Mountain but sadly the colourful pile cannot remain, I said.

Hoomans are strange, this pile is perfect, not least because it has my scratchy carrot on top of it, He said ... Then for half an hour you can sit atop your perfect spot and I will carry on in another corner, I said.

This is acceptable, He said ... Glad to be able to oblige, I said.

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday ... and the sunshine has finally arrived along with coffee ...

[gaybaseball-fan]

[loubella77]

18+ MDNI

Why do I look so goofy in this one smh

OnlyFans // LinkTree // DM me here

Pics, vids, sexting, calls, ratings, drop boxes, socks, etc. for sale!

[atomwavearmyleader]

Dad: Where we goin'?

Me: Hell

Dad: Where are we goin' to eat?

Me: Hell's Kitchen

[imkeepinit]

[wilburwhateley]

[worlddominationleader]

MR EASTA WOOOOOO (I have vol 4 on my shelf)

[babygirl-diaz]

Eddie: I feel so weak *pretends to feel lightheaded* Buck: Eddie! Buck: *picks Eddie up and carries him to the cot* Hen: Here we go again. Chimney: What is this the 9th time? Hen: I lost count after the 3rd time. Chimney: Do you think Buck knows that Eddie does it on purpose so that Buck would pick him up? Hen: Oh, he knows. He just doesn't care.

[this-creature-is-weird]

[jonathananubian]

Got my brand new Sewing Kit today!

If you know, you know~

[delukfan]

Random shit

[weepingfoxfury]

The man on the radio says it's Monday morning, throws on a couple of tracks before giving us both the happy and unhappy headlines. Weatherwise I've no idea ... currently not raining but keep 'the umbrella' and water wings close. The traffic lady is imminent ... in fact, here she is and apparently there's lots of cars on the road ... who knew?

Today's groaner: a little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear and asks him "Would you like anything to eat Mr Bear?" ... "No thank you" says Mr Bear "I'm stuffed" ;-D badoom tish ... here all week!!

Up too early to make sense and merely peering at the day ... especially as my one and only marble is in his hammock and refusing to say much of anything other than "more coffee and toast if you please ... and shut the cranial door on your way out."

Little Dude gets his stitches out today and Captain Blackbeard will also sing his way to and from the vets as he requires his usual 'tonic' to keep things ticking over. Ah the shiny metropolis, your call is strong ... never too long before I'm back in your befuddlement inducing embrace.

Time for more coffee ...