#extremism and generalization. those two are some of the most dangerous things out there

[spotsupstuff]

I think it would be such a soul destroying moment if like in an argument between moon and tarrows and moon finally snaps and screams at tarrows for all the horrible things the ancients did to her and her family, letting loose all the emotions she had to hold back from every awful thing she endured, said every thing she couldn't say because she was powerless when it came to the ancients and their actions, all the while tarrows is completely backed into a corner, when moon finishes her rant she sees that sparrows is curled up like a scared slugcat crying, and they both just cry together for a while. I think eventually moon would feel bad for taking it all out on tarrows but I think it's important moon gets everything out.

i mean sure it's important to get shit out, but not on expanse of a complete stranger??? sorry but the phrasing of that end sounds like Sparrows either deserved it or is supposed to be just standing there and take everyone's shit n i just can't leave that alone. just because one party suffered immensely doesn't justify that they take it out on someone who never did anything wrong like t hat

either way, i don't think Moon would be crying n also that Sparrows would end up in a corner alone like that. no way the Anemoi aren't gonna be always nearby to step in, she's one of em! they'll look out for her n if that means getting in the way of one of the oldest still-alive Iterators, then so be it

[phoenixcatch7]

Something that always bugs me is that the way fanfic authors have it, there's absolutely nothing between 'beloved son treated and raised precisely the same as the two blood siblings in the blood based ruling lineage' and 'despised and excluded indentured servant psychologically manipulated into having no self worth cut off from any emotional support'. This is, historically, a very, VERY recent binary, as the fostering system outgrows things like orphanages and the idea of the nuclear family is cemented.

There is a whole range of different statuses that exist between those two extremes just in Western society, and more than that outside of what I already know. Wardship, for example. Fostering without adoption. Room and board apprenticeship.

Wwx is older than jc. Him being adopted and legitimised, despite not being jiang, would cause a succession crisis. By rights, as the eldest male (and prodigious and well liked besides) he would be first to inherit in some people's eyes. Being adopted formally in this way would cause those rumours of bastardry madame yu was always banging on about (though I'm never convinced those rumours were as prevalent as she believed). Jfm would lose reputation and status, yzy would take a tremendous hit to her reputation, jc's place as heir would suddenly be cast into uncertainty, coming under intense scrutiny as people suddenly feel as though they had a choice in who to support, and wwx would be forced into a role and potential future he has absolutely no desire for. And by putting him in a position where he could become head of jiang, there's the risk that he might assassinate jc to become the undisputed heir, something impossible if he isn't brought into the family officially. Would wwx ever dream of doing so? No! Not even slightly! But it is a valid fear of the time and culture, jgy just proves that worst case scenario.

Instead of being the child prodigy coming out of nowhere, the son of respected rogue cultivators so generously taken in the jiang and well trained, suddenly he'd be 'proof' of infidelity, both families involved would become scandals, even post-humeously. As jgy and mxy prove, being a bastard is a lower social status than the right hand man of the sect heir, head disciple of a major sect. Now wrapped in gossip and scandal, they would no longer be called the prides of yunmeng.

And then of course that kind of divisive succession would backfire horrendously when lotus pier is burned and jc tries to rebuild the clan while wwx goes demonic cultivator! It would be DISASTROUS for the jiang, jc having lost a lot of his legitimacy and political support, wwx's now filthy reputation being tied even tighter to the clan, reflecting on them so much more. Worst case gossip would be that the jiang as a whole are turning to demonic cultivation. People who wanted wwx for heir would be in a very dangerous position! People who disliked jc as heir would make it even harder for him! Not that the jiangs would/could have predicted the war and the burning of the sect but fr it would have made an already nigh impossible situation even harder and more volatile.

And it's not like wwx is treated purely like a servant! He isn't going round fetching tea and carrying jcs sword and keeping one step behind. He eats every meal with them, he gets pocket money from them, he is openly and pretty universally considered siblings with the other two, and nobody except yzy acts like it's weird, or he's acting above his station for it (though people like the wens and jin aren't above trying to use that 'son of a servant' thing when they're targeting him to get their own way).

Yes, yzy is deeply insecure and blames him, yes during their goodbyes jc gets hugs and wwx gets orders. They're far from perfect. That's the most affection jc ever got from either of them. Jyl got nothing, she wasn't there. Which is pretty representative of her treatment from her parents, ngl. But wwx had support from jc, had sorta paternal support and a safe authority figure in jfm, had maternal support and care from jyl (though she shouldn't have had to, but that's a different conversation). There are actual family servants (yzy's twins) who grew up with her and were trained for it and they act very differently to wwx. For all yzy throws her weight around and jfm is a bit of a doormat, wwx grew up well cared for and well loved.

The fact that the family as a whole was pretty messed up and his part in it made it worse? That's on the family members themselves. His never arriving would not have fixed that family. For wwx, genuinely, there really wasn't anywhere else he could really go once he was orphaned. If he hadn't died on the streets perhaps he could have made it as a civilian working for someone else, dabbling in cultivation because we know him.

The wen and jin would have eaten him alive. The lans? Don't make me laugh. I love a good 'wwx gets betrothed to lwj as teens and he moves to gusu and Fixes Everything' as much as the next person but let's not kid ourselves, canon wwx would have ended up whipped to death or expelled with the way he is. As a visiting disciple he got so many punishments and kicked out not even halfway through the year! Him living there with lwj as adults is due to him 'redeeming' himself through mystery solving and lwj being fully, openly ready to ditch the sect for him. Even then they're constantly on the road night hunting and lwj being the lightning rod of all of wwx's trouble making tendencies (and being 100% down to breaking the rules with him without enacting punishment). They might accept him now but it would not have happened without lwj doing it first (and the juniors all loving him lol).

The nie? Maybe, but that would have left NHS in pretty much the exact same position as jc: inferior second fiddle, unskilled, constantly compared to him. Wwx would be in the exact same position of being pressured to tone himself down and keep his dangerous ideas to himself, and NHS would have double the fear of inevitably losing both his brothers. And of course, the nie aren't exactly as patient and laid back as the jiang sect as a whole, with their hyper aggressive murder resentment swords. The first sign of wwx acting 'outside' of the clans best interests and getting risky and he's going straight down those stairs the same way as jgy.

Tldr: there's more options to raise a kid than full adoption or abused servitude, even today, and though officially adopting wwx would have made everything SO much worse, his other options would not have survived him. He deserved better with the jiangs but frankly so did the blood kids (and the mother and the father). All three were emotionally neglected and adoption would not have fixed that.

This is why I believe that if wwx had been even a day younger than jc everyone would have been so much happier.

[horus-unofficial]

hello hello welcome welcome. welcome 2 the HORUS guide 4 HORUS tech aka horus-unofficial.tumblr3.un gives you extremely comprehensive and very useful insight into its "pattern groups" and "licenses". we are your host harold HORUS here today to talk to you about our beautiful darling cunt of a child, the LICH

nobody knows how the lich came 2 be. some buddies of ours say they invented it 9989 years from now which is weird bcos anyone normal would wait another decade before sending that shit back in time to hit that sweet 9999 and keep people guessing as to whether these files actually are from that far in the future, or if the lucky terminal receiving this code just stopped bothering to count the years after 15015u. either way, the lich is here now, and back then, and most certainly at some point in the future, and it kinda looks like we probably did invent it so that means we are in the clear to act like we're the ones who made it!

the lich sucks! its terrible! with glass bones and paper skin and a reactor that overheats at room temperature, a gust of wind could leave a dent in this PG's plating, which is made from samples of styrofoam and bubble wrap warped straight from the insides of pre-Fall packages labeled "FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE" (a perfect bumper sticker for your lich, should you find yourself piloting one sometime within the next -50 to 250 years). you can tell no former members of harrison armory's R&D department were involved in the designing of the lich because the only thing those fuckers know how to do is create industrial microwaves, and the lich's reactor is the most slipshod, poorly-coded shit in the known universe. the only code regulating the lich's reactor is "reactor = cool" and not only are neither "reactor" nor "cool" defined anywhere in the system code, but HOR_OS doesn't even use = signs.

you may ask us, "if the lich is so shit, why do people pilot it?" and we are so glad you asked! generally speaking, answers to this question fall into one of two variations: - "it's a funny mech" - "why is everyone saying i pilot a lich??? i pilot a nelson!!! what do you mean that's my lich frame in the mech bay and i've had it for years, i literally don't have a single HORUS license, @horus-unofficial please advise"

the lich's victorian orphan-esque constitution aside, its biggest strength as a frame is likely its ability to send itself to the seaside for a much needed mental health break should it encounter the slightest hint of adversity on the battlefield. its no wonder the lich is so frail, the entirety of our nonexistent R&D budget went into making this thing the most annoying roleplayer on the playground. "you hit me with your sword? nuh-uh, i dodge. oh you run me through on your spear, killing me instantly? well it turns out that that body wasn't actually me, i've been dramatically looking down upon this duel from up there on those cliffs the whole time!" <- words most commonly spoken by future lich pilots at 11 years old

this allows it to be unexpectedly versatile in combat- with a refundable get out of jail free card and a maximum speed comparable to most of SSC's catalogue, it can weave through dangerous zones in combat with unexpected efficiency, allowing it to support allies from virtually any range, and instigate the occasional skirmish if its pilot is so inclined. we dont necessarily advise that you choose violence as a lich pilot, only that its a more viable choice of function than you might initially think

the lich plays with the timestream with the same enthusiasm as a preschooler in a sandbox, both in regards to itself and anything (un)fortunate enough to be within its sensor range. for every timeline where the lich is playing support for its allies and being so kind and niceys, there's another timeline where it gleefully tears into its adversaries until it overextends and dies respawns in another timeline, and it's through this universal law that an unusually principled lich pilot might find themselves taking a hit for its allies before immediately redeeming that get out of jail free card we mentioned earlier. of course, "principled HORUS pilot" is an oxymoron, so if your squad has a lich pilot what actually happens is more along the lines of being teamed with the biggest fucking nuisance on your planet, who pretends to toodle about the battlefield all combat because the truth is they've been stuck in a time loop for 7 years, and are well beyond the point of caring.

bottom line: if you encounter a lich in combat, dont even bother targeting it. it's unkillable except for when it isn't, and its banned from every omninet roleplay forum in the known universe for a reason

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Sibling Cat Hybrids: Patricia and Pepper

Deciding to take on hybrids was something you were hesitant to do 

Besides being morally controversial for you, it was a huge hit to your spending money

But you got tired of the faux pride you got donating to hybrid-care facilities 

So instead you decide to walk into a shelter (one with good practices)

And you tell them upfront that you’re willing to open your home and heart to the ones who need you most

Crippled, rejected for looks, attitude problems

The helper lights up and then deflates before asking some leading questions

“Do you like cats?”

And that is how you are given Patricia and Pepper

This sister and brother duo are two sides of the same kind

Patricia has a luxuriously long tail and grooming routine that matches

“Are you illiterate? The signed packet told you I needed to be groomed, shampooed, and conditioned regularly.”

“Well yeah, that’s why I left everything in the bathroom.”

“Hold on! You think I’m doing this myself?! Nuh-Uh, You have so much to learn! Grab the brush and pull up a stool, now!”

Demanding as she is gorgeous Patricia is a cat girl with expensive tastes

Until that day she’ll likely swipe your credit card to buy the incredibly overpriced brand-powered shampoo 

And just curl her lip at you when you confront her

“Don’t cry, if you keep working hard I’m sure you’ll pay it off.”

For as unhelpful and arrogant as she is, her brother is an extreme opposite

“I know you showed us to those extra rooms just for us but i-if you don’t mind my stench I think I can serve you better in your room!”

“What?!”

“I’ll be happy to sleep on the floor! I promise I’ll be useful!”

Pepper’s always so eager to help and talk himself down

You’ll literally have to fight him to make sure he’s sleeping and taking care of himself instead of the home

“P–please I’ll probably eat once I finish cleaning this one last thing.”

“Probably?! No, you look like you’ve lost too much weight!”

“Nooo please!”

This dynamic will be going on for a long while 

You going to work and returning home to find either Pepper in danger needlessly risking his life 

Or Patricia throwing out all of your childhood memorabilia because she felt it was tacky

Maybe for once you shed a tear

Or you yell

Or you just completely shut down from any conversation 

In the end, you leave 

For a long time

Longer than you’d go to the store or even work

You’re just gone

“Pat I think you did it again. You scared them off!”

“I scared them off? Please I know very few people who’d be happy coming home to a corpse.”

“At least I was trying to be useful!”

“I took care of the grooming they didn’t do, that’s plenty generous.”

“Thanks to you, they’re sending us away! I really liked this one!”

“Don’t blame me, you cur! They’re leaving because you appall them!”

They argue for hours

Because they are siblings

And it helps with filling the sound of you going through your nightly routine

By the end of it, both of their hair are sticking out 

they’re pacing while nervously staring at the door

So many thoughts in their head 

The embarrassment of being sent back

The disappointment and scorn from the employees when they return

The pain they felt when you reacted the way you did

The suffocating fear of you leaving them forever

They’ve had absent owners…but they were always that way

You were there even if you sighed and scolded them, you were still there

You might’ve kept to yourself but you didn’t ignore them

At the end of the day, they still ate together with you

… They really didn’t like this

When the lock on the door clicks and the light clicking of a turn begins 

They’re leaping for the door

Capturing you in a hug you can’t escape from

“We missed you! I-I’m very sorry! I fished out and cleaned everything! Please forgive me! And please don’t just send me away! Oh and my brother too.”

“PLEASEDON’TSENDUSAWAYPLEASEDON’TPLEASEPLEASEIMIGHTBEPUSHEDTOSTRAPABOMBTOMYSELFANDBLOWINGUP—”

“Whoa whoa, I’m not sending you guys away. Also, Pepper what was that you were going to say?”

“WAAAAHHHH tHANK THAank YOu! WAHHH” 

After Pepper can breathe, you don’t mind sitting down with them to finally speak

“I’m glad you’re not sending us away. I was certain you found us annoying enough to.”

“Oh no I do find you two annoying.”

“What?! wwwwWAAHHHH!”

“But I’m not going to send you away because of that. Also, I think it’s pretty crummy that I can even do that after all the paperwork I signed.”

“WAHH! I’M ANNOYING!?”

“Yes, Pepper now shush. That’s very mature of you I also appreciate your honesty.”

 Ultimately they relax when it comes to being sent away

But they’re worried that you barely address your annoyance 

“Even my friends annoy me. It’s not that bad.”

“But it is. I–we pushed you so far…we’d like not to do this again.”

“I-I think…Pat and I just want to please you…maybe more than just what your morals allow.”

Thus a new routine has begun

One that won’t have you leaving for hours on end

“Good Evening dirt on my heels, who’s going to give me a gift big enough to buy that Prada collar I’ve been eying?”

Now Patricia streams finding a small group of people willing to fund her interests allowing her to contribute to the home 

Pepper continues to clean up the house but with new parameters

“Here (Y/n)! I took pictures of me eating all my meals today! See? Now can I get head pats?”

This works allowing them not to get on your nerves while you navigate life with your two hybrids

If they have any say in it that’ll be all you’ll be aware of

On the other side, Patricia and Pepper are taking their independence very seriously

“Pepper, did you finish your dossier on the coworker who called yesterday?”

“I did, here’s the file. I’ve already gone to the trouble of mapping out their routine; highlighting the best times depending on the method we use.”

“Good work. Now next report?”

“Yes! I found this while cuddling (Y/n) last night~ They got all giggly when I touched a specific spot with my tail.”

“...Last night where was I?”

“Dealing with the neighbor’s loud little pest.”

“Right…For equal treatment, I’ll be initiating our cuddle session tonight.’

“Hahaha…nice imagination Patty but that’s my job.”

Somehow fighting between the siblings still persist but you’d take that over the stalemate you two had before

[another-goblin]

Spoilers for 2.3

Some thoughts, speculations, and headcanons about our little dialogue with Ratio (+more)

1. This tells me that Ratio and Aventurine are friends (or as close to being friends as both of them are currently capable of, which isn't much, but still). Yes, what Aventurine thinks about TB could have been them discussing their mission. But I choose to think that they just chat with each other sometimes, because they actually enjoy it. Aventurine feels comfortable enough to just share what he thinks about the people he meets, and he knows that Ratio is interested in his opinions, and he's right. He listens and takes note. btw people being actual friends is my favorite trope for romantic couples.

2. Ratio seeing his relationships with Aventurine, and our TB, and people in general as a teacher and a student and being constantly in his teacher mode made me think. Probably all significant relationships in his life were those of a teacher and a student. He cannot see himself in any other role because he has never experienced it himself. I wouldn't be surprised if even his parents provided him with knowledge and education instead of parental love. This may also be why he's so frustrated with people who don't fit these two roles: normal people not interested in bettering themselves through education, students who don't take studying seriously, most scholars, and especially the Geniuses, for not actively sharing their knowledge or doing anything to uplift humanity.

3. Ratio seeing their relationship with Aventurine in particular this way is appropriately weird and a bit unhealthy, in my opinion (but what did we expect from him), considering that they are undeniably close. But that's probably the only way he knows to show his care for somebody:  to teach them stuff and help them better themselves.

4. On Avenrutine's side, he seems amused by it, in a good way (the way he playfully refers to Ratio in the descriptions of some of the 2.1 quests, "Your professor friend," and so on). He even seems to be a bit proud that an actual professor has taken an interest in him.

5. But what can he teach Aventurine? He might share his actual knowledge. I think the "Death" and "Dormancy" part of his note is him doing that. But he mostly sees his duty as a teacher in showing people that they can achieve a lot by themselves if they stop relying on higher beings who don't care about them and start relying on themselves (with little help from Ratio.)

But "relying on himself and achieving things" is what Aventurine has been successfully doing most of his life. So is it the "little help from Ratio" that matters here? Or is he helping Aventurine stop relying on his supposedly supernatural luck and realize how capable he actually is?

6. This. (btw 'philosophical zombie' means "a being in a thought experiment in philosophy of mind that is physically identical to a normal human being but does not have conscious experience" (from wiki), so basically just some weird concept in philosophy.) But what an admirably in-depth knowledge of his 'not partner' he's showing here. Are you equally interested in the inner worlds of all your students, doc?…

7. Anyways, that reminded me of what Jade said about the Stonehearts, even using the same word 'void'. So. Aventurine has a void in his heart, caused by his inability to protect people he cares about. It's very significant that Diamond gave him the power of Preservation specifically to help him fill that void, to be finally able to protect somebody he cares about. The problem is, he doesn't have anyone to protect anymore (he doesn't even see himself as worthy of protection). Until recently. So, and I'm being extremely self-indulgent here, if Ratio got in danger, Aventurine protecting and saving him would fill the void in his heart. And btw what can boost one's self-worth more than protecting somebody who's important to you? I mean, he should snap out of that 'I'm only worth the money my slaveowner paid for me' mentality sooner or later, I hope.

(the problem is, I'm not sure how it can play out now that he doesn't have his stone anymore. And he lost it, not protecting anybody but nearly killing himself and furthering the IPC's agenda. Although doing something like that without the stone would be even more significant)

Also, I hope Ratio won't realize that, and won't deliberately put himself in danger for Aventurine to save him. You know, for educational purposes.

8. He just runs around helping people, making sure everybody's okay, and, emm, 'enhance their living', that's his thing.  And even broadly speaking, with his scientific discoveries, and him saving people on Herta station. And considering that 'everybody's my student' thing, I feel like he sees himself as responsible for everybody (in his own way).

And some people still think that he's selfish and egoistic. He even gets angry when we ask for an autograph:

9. Aaand that's the third time he disappeared in the middle of a conversation involving Aventurine. I understand him, though. As somebody who also 'detests noisy gatherings', group chats aren't much better.

------

ok this was supposed to be hidden in tags but i think tumblr found it too scandalous or something i don't know, i'll just leave it here: the more I write about Ratio, the stronger the urge to just call him Rat, you know, lovingly also whoops sorry, I'm physically incapable of writing short posts, it was supposed to be a short comment about their friendship, how much content can I squeeze out of a half-minute long dialogue?, the answer is yes, but I just had to get it out of my system

[akutasoda]

Oh? Well in that case, might as well get in line. Ahem Requesting Cyno x Reader(Originally I would go for F!Rrader, but u can do gn if u want) reader doesn't fear Cyno for some reason despite hearing what he's capable of, The Scary General Mahamatra being ruthless and stuff. As people would usually avoid his gaze but to Reader. Reader finds his Stern gaze attractive, his scary appearance, his voice... she admires. Let's just say his dangerous aura gives her the thrill, and Reader would try to romance him, wanting to go out with him. Like giving flowers and wanting to get closer to him. Reader's eyes was pure of nothing but adoration. You can write this in Headcanons if u want. I just wanna see what Cyno would do when he have someone who actually had a crush on him >:}

you don't know what a crush is?

synopsis - he was always used to people avoiding and fearing him, so he never could recognise the signs

includes - cyno

warnings - gn!reader, oblivious cyno, fluff, slight crack(?), wc - 635

the general mahamatra.

someone the everyday akademiya goer often never saw only ever hearing about him through stories. most people only ever encountered him if he was fulfilling his duties, those that were honest and followed the rules rarely ever saw him. even if they did happen to come across cyno they would slink away silently and avoid him.

and cyno didn't mind. the average person in the akademiya's opinion doesn't matter to him, they're behavior isn't of his concern - well that was until they did something that required cyno to do his job.

his position didn't exactly make him popular, but he never cared. cyno didn't do it for popularity. he had those who he cared about and the rest were just people in his eyes. so that's why he never really recognised you at first.

you who had seen cyno in passing glances across the akademiya and immediately become entranced. from his appearance to the way he presented himself made something inside you stir, your heart racing and your mind blocking out everyone around you. of course you recognised him, you had heard the hushed rumors and complaints of the man.

but how could they accuse that stunning man of anything?

cyno was completely oblivious of how you looked at him. he was so used to people avoiding his gaze entirely that when you two locked eyes accidentally, he passed it off as you zoning out or a complete accident - but if so, why did you never immediately look away like everyone else?

or he was, until you become more direct and confident with your approaches. waving or smiling at him or the rare occasions you saw him around sumeru, approaching him for conversation, or even inviting him to hang out.

cyno didn't quite understand your sudden interest in him and he did find it rather confusing but he wasn't exactly denying your request to spend time with him. everyone that knew cyno well enough could see the signs and would gawk at how oblivious cyno was.

even when you started giving him gifts, he passed it as a token of wanting a closer friendship. cyno wasn't far off with that assumption but it wasn't just a close friendship you were hoping for.

all the longing stares and undivided attention toward cyno went completely misinterpreted by him. he couldn't wrap his head around the idea and so he didn't acknowledge that possibility. you never minded that he missed the admiration in your eyes - you knew why he let those things go unnoticed.

his friends couldn't bear the sight of cyno being completely oblivious to your intentions per se. they, mainly kaveh, tried expressing the idea to him hoping that he got his head round it and confronted you about it.

but cyno didn't see it that way. there was no way you had a crush on him. he had been completely and utterly desensitized to the idea of love. surely this was just a joke? at his expense no doubt but he could forgive them for it.

it wouldn't take you long to realize that an extremely direct approach was needed - asking him out directly.

but even then you realized he took it platonically. you had a lot of work to do..

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[ramblinscramblin]

→ General kissing headcanons!

Genre: fluff! GN reader

Characters: all mercenaries

Requested by me! First one of these, still getting a feel for writing for a lot these characters so forgive me if it’s ooc, I try my hardest! Enjoy!

Scout

Spends more time talking about kissing then actually doing it, psychs himself out a lot of time, may end up not even being able to do it.

He’s a nervous wreck when it comes to initiating physical contact, you’ll have to initiate most of the kisses most of the time (hehe).

Will pretend it’s you who’s nervous though, even if that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“Look at you, you’re tremblin’ in your seat! Maybe some other night…” he said once, throwing an uncaring arm around the back of the couch.

“Scout, I’m not nervous… are you?” You pause for a moment, scanning his burning face “you are!”

“Nah! I’m not! What’s there to be nervous ’bout? Who even friggin’ cares not me! I’m relaxed!” He shouted as he quickly jumped to his feet “forget this! Im leavin’!”

Despite his reservations, once the two of you actually get into it, he warms up nicely. The anticipation is really what drives him crazy.

Scout definitely grabs at you whenever you two kiss, whatever he can reach really, your hips, jaw, neck, hands, thighs, whatever is closest.

Most of Scouts kisses are good natured, short, and sweet, he interrupts himself often to start a new train of thoughts. Extremely chatty during make out sessions, it’s almost endearing.

Deeper kisses are a pretty dangerous game for him, so he tends to keep that behavior for the bedroom.

Enjoys a good kiss on his forehead, would fucking die before he admitted that though.

Demoman

Really easy lover in pretty much every regard.

Demoman is looking for a good time, all the time, so long as you treat him with respect, kisses are pretty hard not to come by.

He’s almost always the one to make the first move (usually using a little bit of liquid courage to put a pep in his step).

“Yer lookin’ right as ever, wasna mor’ bonny cunt all night,” he said with a massive grin.

Sometimes it was a little hard to understand what he was saying, his facial expression usually tells you whether he means “cunt” in a negative or positive way. Clearly he is more than well intentioned.

“I’m… sorry,” you apologize with a gentle laugh “what was that?”

He placed a soft kiss right on the side of your mouth “I meant you look good, laddie/lassie.”

After that he pretty much kisses you all the time whenever for whatever.

LOVES IT when you take the reins though and kiss him, he always scoops you up and gives a big laugh, making a huge spectacle out of it.

Lots of drunk making out, I don’t make the rules.

Kisses you wherever you let him, no real preference, but loves to kiss your cheek and you his.

Solider

Solider is honestly a pretty hard read for me.

I feel like Solider takes most his cues from you, if you’re shy and nervous, he tends to act the same, if you’re confident and assertive, so is he.

Surprisingly, doesn’t take the lead very often, prefers if you tell him what you want, he hates reading social situations, especially when he tends to fail so often.

“Hey Solider,” you greet warmly one day.

“Hello maggot!” Strangely, despite the antagonistic nature of the nickname he still salutes you as you approach.

The two of you stand silently for a moment, before inevitably asking your most burning question “wanna make out?”

“Affirmative,” he said enthusiastically.

Most things with Solider are pretty simple, he’s a no nonsense fellow, he likes things to be American, and straight forward.

Kisses from him are always really fulfilling and deep, he likes kissing you before and after battle for “good luck”.

Kisses you on the back your neck and shoulders whenever they’re out, he loves that tender shit.

He likes to be taken seriously in his romances, no jokes during those times.

Always grabs the nape of your neck, almost always pulls away smiling. He’s a sweet heart.

Pyro

Pyro loves kisses.

Always secretly angling for them, anyway they can.

Pyro came up to you early one morning, a plate full of… what may at some point been then cinnamon buns saved in the communal fridge, but now were burnt to a crisp.

“Oh… is this for me! Thank you,” you smiled politely, taking the plate in your hands.

“Hudda hudda!” Mumbled Pyro happily, hands clasped in excitement.

You leaned forward and place a soft kiss on the side of their mask.

Pyro was so geeked and giddy, they didn’t even realize that you had discarded the cinnamon buns behind your back.

Big cartoony kisses on their mask, make a big show of it, with a loud “mwah!” As you pull away, they’re already melting.

Most kisses come when Pyro and you are cuddling, which is also a frequently required assignment from Pyro.

Every time they kiss you, you can hear a very muffled and yet extremely enthusiastic smecking sound from inside their mask.

Spy

Spy is headstrong with romance, never the kind of guy to pull his punches. He’s so charming though that you may not even notice.

He’s a gentleman, so there is actually a lot that has to happen before he is willing to kiss you.

Lots of flirting and courting, everything, the entire nine yards. Makes you feel like royalty. First date also needs to happen before he kisses you.

“I can pull out my own seat, Spy,” you scold a little half heartedly.

Spy just stares at you, half offended for a moment before saying “don’t speak nonsense, mon amor! It’s bad luck!”

You hardly lift a finger during the entire date, even goes as far as feeding you, ends the night with an incredibly scenic walk back home and a kiss under the New Mexico moonlight.

Once kissing becomes regular for the two of you… it still almost always treated like a first kiss. Passionate, polite, loving. Spy is honestly so dreamy when he’s courting someone.

Doesn’t take much to bring out his hungrier side though, craves your kisses a little too insatiably at times. He just cannot get enough of you!

Hand kisses, constant hand kisses. Holds your hand often so it is easy to quickly bring to his lips for a quick peck.

Sniper

Sniper may take the longest to convince out of all of them.

I mean you can rush into it and kiss him unexpectedly, but really you’d be shooting yourself in the foot. Plus Sniper deserves to be worked for.

Spending constant quality time takes a lot of effort, but it’s what is required to get him even close to comfortable with the idea of kissing someone.

Tends to stay out of the romance scene, things can get messy in his profession he doesn’t want to drag anyone else into it.

But oh god he thinks about it constantly, especially when you start hanging around more and more, too strict on policy to admit it.

But if it’s technically your idea? Well… it wouldn’t exactly be very polite to decline now would it?

You’re sitting with him around a campfire, shoulder to shoulder on a log he cut a little too short (definitely not on purpose).

“So… quiet night,” you say, peeking up at him with a crooked smile.

“Uh, yup. That’s right,” he said quietly, staring down at you intensely.

Your eyes darted to his lips for just a second, but that was more than enough, you two were locked together for over an hour.

Acts awkward around you almost every single time you kiss him, not matter how long it’s been. He just cannot seem to get used to it. Don’t bring it up though, it will put him off.

Kissing snipes is rewarding every damn time because of how hard you have to work for it.

He likes to whisper sweet nothings between kisses, don’t acknowledge it, in fact don’t acknowledge any of it (Mick does not want to be perceived).

Kisses your temple, frequently. Loves if you pick up the same habit.

Engie

Engie is a fiend for physical affection, it’s a secret you’re not supposed to know about it though.

Finds kissing to be the most important part of a relationship, really values the whole intimacy of it.

Even despite that I imagine that he’s not really flashy about his approach with how to get kisses, talks around it mostly, making jokes and jabs about it.

Engie is probably the most emotionally intelligent out of all the mercs, so he’ll work up the courage eventually just give him a minute or two.

“So… we’ve been gettin’ pretty close, havin’ a good time an’ all,” he said subtly while you were alone with him.

“Yeah, I’d agree,” you respond with a grin.

He shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant and confident “I think maybe we should take things to the next level, wha’d’ya say?”

Of course you accept, he’s still immensely shocked and red in the face about it though.

He likes really sudden like sickly sweet kisses, give him that corny rom-com stuff right now, he will absolutely melt.

Also likes to kiss while he hugs you, big into slipping his hands into your pockets while he does so.

Kisses your head a lot (if you’re taller than him he gets annoyed frequently that he can’t reach, you’re his prime target every time you sit down).

Just love on this man, he’s simple.

Medic

Despite how insane this guy is I feel like Medic is pretty coy with romance.

Not in a way that is shy, or insecure, or even nervous, he just enjoys being chased, he wants you to have to work for it at least a little bit.

You also have to prove to be someone worthy of his affection (which isn’t as hard as it sounds, show genuine interest in his interests and be sweet to his birds there you won).

Medic has a pretty lax kissing policy, he greets people with kisses all the time, so he wasn’t really shy with you even if things progressed more seriously.

“Oh! Good morning!” Medic exclaimed, placing a kick peck on the side of your lips.

Embarrassment clear on your face as you raise your hands in surprise, his good morning friendly kisses are usually placed squarely on the cheek, not so close to your mouth.

“Little eager this morning aren’t you?” You said in a teasing manner.

He shrugged a little, making a cheeky expression “I have no idea vhat you are talking about!”

Kisses at inopportune or awkward times, never seems to notice. Genuinely enjoys catching you off guard.

Likes make out sessions in his office a lot, secretly making mental notes about your oral situation, totally not creepy.

Expect a lot of kisses right next to your mouth, that’s his absolute favorite spot to kiss you, that or along your spine.

Heavy

Heavy is respectful to a fault honestly, is afraid of seeming creepy or imposing so he may keep his distance at first.

Definitely needs to go ahead from you before he thinks about making any moves, he doesn’t want to scare you away, and he doesn’t want to ruin his chances either. But once he sense a mutual attraction? He may get a little more bold.

“Is looking good tonight,” he said, elbowing you as lightly as possible.

“Who is?” You ask whipping your head around briefly.

Heavy laughed “you is,” he joked.

Kissing is almost always initiated by you, he has to be a special mood to start it himself, usually if he’s upset and needs a quick pick me up.

Is actually very clingy if you allow him to be (which of course you will, don’t be stupid people) holds you firmly in place while kissing.

Likes kissing your ears, finds your flustered reaction so sweet and adorable. Really into that pure shit.

Kisses you on the cheek whenever the two of you go your separate ways for whatever reason, and of course when you two reunite. Yes, you’re that couple.

God I’m such a sap, what’s wrong with me.

An: oh jeez! I hope that was good Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) again first time writing for a lot of these gents so let’s pray this isn’t offensively out of character. Thanks so much for reading!

[keiicom]

Yjh things the Webtoon 'forgot' to mention or to point out bc they hate novel yjh

Warning for vague webtoon spoilers ig?? No spoilery names are named and no unreleased scenarios are mentioned/specified btw but I thought I'd add this warning just in case :)

He waited three days on the bridge for kdj to resurface after he dropped him in the Ichytosaurs mouth. Just. Waited there.

He smiles when Kdj tries his food and says it's good (it's more like a tiny smug smile tbh)

He is a WORRIER. Man worries about everything, but sucks at expressing it through actions bc that's when he's most easily misunderstood. It is EXTREMELY easy to misunderstand his actions unless the other characters ask him what he's doing and why [after he explains, he turns out to be actually really thoughtful tbh]

When he tells 41st round shin yoosung to "quit her blabbering"...he wasn't that harsh in the novel. The line was changed (still don't know why) but originally he said something about not having enough time, and wasn't a complete asshole.

Also during that same arc/scene it was revealed that he woke her up because he genuinely didn't think she'd attack him/be mad at him iirc, so it wasn't him being stupid, just somewhat naive

When Iris called KDJ ugly he actually stepped forward and intimidated her by glaring so she'd stop talking :) because he sensed fighting spirit in her and he decided to react lmao

His eyebrow moves similarly to a caterpillar when he's about to make an important decision (note: kdj points this out in the novel because he's always staring at yjh I swear to god there's proof)

Yjh puts on a 'cool' face when he's been caught or called out after trying to be sneaky (he's SO BAD at being sneaky istg I love this man so much)

He sometimes uses his skills for stupid and petty shit *said lovingly with heart eyes*

He's more likely to give someone/an NPC a quick death than to make them suffer until they die

He always goes along with KDJ's plans, even though Kdj barely tells him ANYTHING about them ever 😭 He glares but still goes along with them I NEED Y'ALL TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS- /lh

He drags his sword on the ground when he's happy/satisfied with something, or generally in a good mood. Also Loves to clean his sword (I think the webtoon added a scene of him cleaning the sword like. once)

He loves his sister more than anything (we haven't seen a lot of scenes with yoo mia AND yjh in the webtoon yet but I have high expectations for those knowing how much he adores her in the novel)

Mans RUNS to help every time kdj is in danger, unless he genuinely thinks kdj 1) can handle the situation himself or 2) deserves the punishment

He has MONOLOGUES in his head even though he only ever says like two sentences thakrhsjfjb, and is very eloquent when given the chance to explain his thought process/reasoning

[which kdj rarely lets him do. bc he's hellbent on doing the talking and most other characters don't expect yjh to talk anyway]

The hand holding scene that was turned into a weird wrist holding scene? Yes originally they held hands (he wasn't as angry then either)

He's a serial texter and will spam message people

He loves dumplings

He gets jealous when other people monopolize Dokja's attention for too long (also canon, ex: Sangah, [redacted 1], sometimes han sooyoung, [redacted 2], [redacted 3] 💀 and WILL glare at Kdj or demand answers depending on how severe the transgression is)

He's tired. So, so tired.

HE CAN LAUGH

he doesn't let Han Sooyoung live out of pride/not wanting to lose to kdj (???? what even was that). he lets her live because he doesn't want kdj to think poorly of him / alternatively he doesn't want to lose him as an ally. Not everything is about pride with him 🫠

he looks embarrassed after hearing yoo mia tell him he looks "happy when you talk about [kdj]". the narration also gives her statement some credibility, because "she knows him well since she's his sister". but of course they made him look angry instead of embarrassed 🙄 bc god forbid he shows any other facial expression ever

He's nosy (again: said lovingly with heart eyes). You'll notice how even when he pretends not to care, he'll still stick around to see how things develop/gather info on 'important' stuff. If he's not interested, he'll just leave, bc he's the kind of guy to just do that. So if he doesn't leave, even if he's pretending not to care... you see where I'm going with this

He has a sense of humor, believe it or not (though most of the time he's hilarious without meaning to)

When [redacted] asked yoo joonghyuk what his deal was with kdj and why he wanted him in his group he said "kdj is necessary for this world. I need him." but webtoon decided to skip that line 🫠

Yjh says "I guess your mother doesn't like me" instead of this "like mother like son" bullshit, because the second one implies dokja doesn't like him. which couldn't be farther from the truth

Yoo Joonghyuk actually looks distraught when he realizes he's the one that has to kill kdj. To the point kdj has to tell him to not make that face.

He holds him tenderly as kdj falls, and tries to hang onto him as he's dragged away.

I'd add more but the rest is spoilers fhajhrjeka so yeah I'll just wait to see what webtoon does first and I'll update this as they go

[aihoshiino]

chapter 161 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 18

Aqua Hoshigan Status: For the future

Never has an OnK chapter gone from It's Hoshinover to We Are Oshi no Back quite as hard and fast as this one. I have issues with this chapter in terms of what it implies about the story's overall structure and the fact that it sort of ruins 153-4 by association but this chapter's back half is so fucking good and the chapter itself works so well in isolation that much like 153-4, I kind of uhhh don't care about the structural issues because the story's heart is, for the most part, not just intact but beating harder and more passionately than it has in a long time.

To get what I don't like out of the way, the story seems to have settled on Super Evil Serial Killer Mastermind Kamiki as his final form characterization with some helpful Tsukuyomi exposition to just straightforwardly Tell Us things the manga probably should have spent some of the last 70something chapters Showing Us about Hikaru. The basic idea of Hikaru being some sort of serial killer so dedicated to upholding Ai's legacy that he kills women with the potential to surpass her was more or less always where I expected his character to land and this settling of his character does at least preserve what I think is the most important thing: that he genuinely loved Ai and his bent towards villainy only came after her death.

What I don't love as much is that this chapter seems to continue leaning into Uber God Manipulator Mastermind Kamiki like last chapter. I already talked at length about my issues with this framing in my previous chapter review so all I'll reiterate here is that the story's attempt to frame Hikaru as being equally or even more culpable for the actions of Nino and Ryosuke fall entirely flat to me, especially when the manga itself does such a pisspoor job of actually explaining how or why Kamiki was able to control and/or predict their actions to the extent that he supposedly did. And ESPECIALLY especially given that Nino and Ryosuke seem to have already been dangerously obsessed with Ai by the time they approached him.

In general, Hikaru's character is honestly just so inconsistent at this point that making any sense of his actions feels fruitless. If I really dig into what's going on, I can infer that maybe he fell into the same trap as Aqua by overcompensating for his trauma-induced helplessness by becoming overly controlling and guess that his fucked up trauma response to Ai's death combined with those terrible words Kindaichi gave him at Airi's funeral lead him down he road he's traveling now. I can even extrapolate that Aqua showing him the DVD message in 153-4 pushed Hikaru to this extreme and now that he has nothing to lose, he's lashing out at his children too - though, it should be noted, that the manga still hasn't actually established what Hikaru's culpability is in Nino's attempt on Ruby's life, outside of Aqua saying "well you didn't use your psychic powers to perfectly predict nino's actions so it's on you".

But like - this is all stuff I'm having to infer and extrapolate and guess, reverse engineering logic from our end point in an attempt to create a stable foundation for this characterization. The manga has done such a poor job of properly establishing Hikaru both as an antagonistic force and as a consistent character that I feel like I'm trying to assemble a coherent image from two different puzzle sets with all the fucking corner pieces missing and that's with Crow Girl looking into the camera and Explaining Him to me.

And listen, I am a bitch who LOVES to infer things. One of my absolute favourite pieces of fiction of all time ever is Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, a mystery story that literally does not contain any straightforwardly explicit, textual confirmation of the culprit's identity or motives because it believes so strongly that you, the reader, are smart enough and empathetic enough to put in the time and effort necessary to understand it regardless and it deeply, deeply values being able to give you that experience. But OnK feels less like it's intentionally encouraging me to think hard and enjoy the process of putting my head and my heart to work - it feels like it's leaving its homework unfinished and letting the reader do the actual hard work of sewing up the internal logic.

I probably won't talk much more about Kamiki this chapter cos I'd just be saying all this shit over and over but I really just am struggling to understand from a perspective of authorial intent what the vibe is even supposed to be. Like I mentioned in a previous ask, if this is where Kamiki's arc is reaching its conclusion then it means that the Movie Arc was essentially a whole-ass waste of time in and out of universe. Blech. Hate that.

Also, before I move on, I don't want to leave this just implied - making Kamiki explicitly a CSA victim and then ending his arc on Aqua (and implicitly the narrative) dismissing him as being too broken/corrupted to be saved is a really major misstep that I think represents a huge black mark on OnK's handling of CSA as a topic. The idea of an eternal defilement or an unfixable core wrongness in the self is already something real life CSA victims struggle with in the process of unpacking their trauma and having our likable and supposedly morally superior protagonist espouse this unchallenged in a work as prominent and relevant as Oshi no Ko is irresponsible bordering on dangerous. It's incredibly disappointing that after all the care Aka and Mengo seemingly took in handling this topic that it was whiffed so badly at the last second.

ANYWAY!!! Now all the beef's been dealt with, we can cleanse our palettes and move onto everything else I liked which was… basically everything else in this chapter!

Admittedly, Aqua's overall arc is still suffering from us being kicked out of his head from like 123 onwards for no real apparent reason and while 150 was a welcome refresher on where he's at in this part of the story, it still feels a bit like the story is prioritizing preserving the surprise factor of its twists over making these surprises feel earned. Compare it to volume 1 - you are basically told exactly what is going to happen to Ai, especially in the manga when Saitou and Gotanda outright say as much - but her death is still incredibly impactful and upsetting. I think this chapter is very effective, but could've been a lot moreso if we'd spent more time in Aqua's head leading up to it.

THAT SAID… If the intention of keeping us out of his head was to recontextualize Aqua's behaviour across the past ten or so chapters in this new light, I don't hate it as much as I might have. I initially took issue with what felt like the story off-screening and not addressing the resolution to Aqua's suicidal ideation so whipping back around to prove that it was still very much present puts some particular Aqua moments over this past volume into a very different light. As some people pointed out, Aqua missing Kana's pitch - literally dropping the ball in responding to her feelings - and his wide-eyed look of alarm in 151 seemed very ominous omens for the success of her confession and that beat of him covering his face when Kana approves of his dream… very incheresting knowing Aqua was still struggling with 'love or revenge' at this point.

Most interesting of all to reconsider is Aqua breaking down in tears in Miyako's arms in 155 when she addresses him as her son for the first time. At the time it read like catharsis but now I can't help but wonder if this was Aqua grieving for something he desperately wants but thinks is out of his reach.

i do have to say though. i get the general vibe of this plan and think it works fine as the apex of aqua's self-sacrificial protectiveness for the people he loves but how is being the daughter of a serial killer somehow any less scandalous for her career than being the sister of someone who killed one dude. does aqua think they just won't notice that kamiki happens to be their biodad or something. wasn't that the whole point of the movie. goofy ass plan.

What really saves this whole scenario is the emotions at play, though. This really does feel like Aqua at his most Aqua in a really long while and this chapter has so much love and respect for his life as Aqua and the bonds he has formed as a result. The dreams Aqua lays out are so agonizingly simple, too - he wants to pursue the career he finds rewarding. He wants to date the girl he likes. He wants to accept Miyako as his mom and Himekawa as his brother and to make things right with Akane after hurting and using her. He wants to see Ruby achieve her dream and be there to support her when she does.

But Aqua's always considered his dreams impossible, hasn't he?

I fully admit; I got spoiled with the full page spread of Aqua stabbing himself way in advance of the chapter and initially hated it as a twist. But with the full chapter as context and the sheer weight of Aqua's longing to just fucking live and find joy, it's not just effective but absolutely gutwrenching. It is the synthesis of Aqua's series-long battle to choose love or revenge and it resonates perfectly because it has never been one or the other for him - Aqua's revenge has always been rooted in the fact that he loves others so wholly and completely and hates himself so utterly that he thinks sacrificing himself to preserve their futures is the only path for him to take. It's the culmination and final release of the suicidal ideation Aqua has been dealing with since he was four years old and like Ai's tragedy before him, there's a horrible sense that maybe there really was no other way this could've gone.

Aqua being the character who actually takes the knife also firmly cements him as Ai's narrative echo in the text which has me barkin and howlin because it's what I've been saying all this time. Not just that, but so many of Aqua's expressions in this chapter pointedly and deliberately echo Ai's after she was stabbed. Not just that, but Aqua's achingly simple dreams echo Ai's own heartrendingly simple regrets - all the two of them ever wanted was to be happy with the people they love.

This also reframes the story's prior establishment of Ruby as paralleling Ai and seems to place the twins in the position of echoing not Ai in her entirety but Ruby as 'Ai of B-Komachi' and Aqua as 'Ai Hoshino'. This was actually something I outlined in one of my very first meta posts on the series, but I think making it more specific to 'Ruby as Ai the idol' and 'Aqua as Ai the human', this actually gives Ruby's arc in relation to Ai a bit of breathing room. Don't get me wrong, everything I've said about her post-BH writing being underbaked and inconsistent is still the case, especially when it comes to how confused the story is on whether Ruby is her own idol or New And Improved Ai 2.0 but giving it less ground to cover helps in terms of her writing no longer being spread quite as thin.

Speaking of Ruby, that beat of her seeming to react or sense something is up the moment Aqua takes the stab. 'Something happened to my loved one far away and I just Feel It' is a trope I'm always a sucker for and I really dig it here.

"The public don't care about the truth, so let's tell them a lie" is such a crazy hard sentiment to go out on too. Holy fuck.

There go our boys…!!! Quite a few people predicted they might go over the edge when Aqua showed up in his Mephisto fit (Mefitsto) and I'm interested to see if we get any parallels to the ED's imagery in the next few chapters. Overall, though, I'm really excited for where things are going - I don't think Aqua will die, but I do have some theories about what might happen. I can't think of a more traditional misogi purification experience than the middle of the ocean in late December, after all…

No break next week! Woohoo! While the delay of episode 12 means we won't be getting them on the same day, that is the same week S2 of the anime will be concluding and Aka does like lining up his bombshells with the anime. So who knows what we'll see.

seriously tho aqua. everyone already knows kamiki is you and ruby's biodad. HOW IS THIS ANY BETTER THAN HER BEING THE DAUGHTER OF A SERIAL KILLER AS IT ALREADY STANDS

[henrioo]

✦ ── ANYTHING FOR YOU: SHANKS

Part one — Parte two

Child! Shanks x Child! Reader ( x platonic! Edward Newgate)

Synopsis: "A confusing encounter with a red-haired child ends up changing his day completely."

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,6k

Notes: Pronouns should be neutral but because of automatic translation they are masculine, I'm sorry, it was written with a neutral reader in mind. Forgive the bad English too, Google is not one of the best

Revision: @waitingmydemons

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ• ────── ✦ ────── •

Today would definitely be your day! After weeks of trying to convince your brothers and especially your father, you had managed to get permission to take a tour all alone around the next island the ship stopped. It might seem silly, but living surrounded by men who saw danger in everything made your freedom being compared to one of a bird in a cage. Of course, you were more than grateful for all the effort they put into protecting you, but sometimes you just wanted to run around and play with other kids instead of being followed by famous pirates who scared anyone who came near.

That's why you couldn't hold back the anxiety of finally being able to live a little adventure completely alone! You've prepared very well, choosing fresh clothes that won't get in the way of playing or running, took a purse with a generous amount of money that you collected according to the days and choose the best and most resistant shoes! Everything was perfect, you couldn't even swallow your food during lunch. You were so busy, as soon as the meal was over, you said goodbye to everyone and ran towards the port, excited to explore the place.

Even if walking around and spending money on silly things wasn't exactly the most fun thing in the world, just being able to experience all those new things by yourself and maybe even make a few friends was enough to get you excited. There weren't many young people in Whitebeard's crew, you ended up being the only child and the youngest member which left you a bit alone. Of course no one refused to play with you, Marco and Thatch would spend hours distracting you if that made you happy, the point was that they were adults and eventually needed to take care of their responsibilities, leaving you alone.

Your plan was to buy some candy and maybe find some kids your age to play with, you couldn't wait to get some attention from people who would also like to play. You walked carefree through the big city market, there were countless merchants, mothers, workers, all walking around in their own worlds and duties. You'd eventually stop and look at the fruit, jewelry, or anything else that looked like fun, but you weren't focused on shopping. You were humming absently around, not really caring about your surroundings when you started to hear footsteps approaching.

When you turned around to try to figure out what was going on it was too late, a person collided directly with you but before he could knock you to the ground, he pulled you by the arm away from the main road. You were dragged into an alley and soon a hand covered your mouth, when you regained your senses you could hear more and more footsteps approaching, a crowd running! You frowned in confusion as you listened to what people were saying. "Are you sure you lost them?" You tried to peek down the alley and you could guess they were sailors by their blue and white outfit. "Shit, those little brats! I can't believe they robbed us…" they argued among themselves "Let's keep looking, they can't have gone far".

So when the men walked away you decided to pay attention to the situation you were in. You looked to see who your captors were and came across two… children? The boy holding you had blue hair and a huge red nose, he was holding your mouth while his face had a terrified expression. Next to him was a boy with red hair and a nice hat, he was carrying what looked like a bag of coins and he also looked extremely nervous about being chased. Whoever they were, you knew they'd robbed the sailors, but that didn't mean they weren't a risk to you.

When you were sure the sailors were gone you used all your strength to step on the boy's foot and then bite his hand. You might be small but you weren't harmless, growing up with powerful pirates had taught you a trick or two.

"Ouch! You bit me!" The boy screamed as he held his own hand.

The redhead finally seemed to notice that they'd dragged someone else into the mess and looked at you confused.

"You kidnapped me!" You countered by crossing your arms.

"You kidnapped them?!" The redhead exclaimed looking at his friend in shock.

"They were in the way!" The other tried to defend himself "And you bit me! I was about to let you go!" He was still angry but you didn't care.

"Think before you kidnap me! You're lucky I only bit you, if I told my brothers they would do a lot worse!" You exclaimed proudly of your family.

"Sure, like I'm going to believe a snotty brat" the blue haired one rolled his eyes.

"You called me what?!" You exclaimed with fury as your cheeks burned.

"Snotty brat" he said again with a smirk, looking satisfied with having turned the tables.

The problem was that the boy had underestimated you, one thing you definitely lacked was patience. You learned very early that you shouldn't tolerate offenses against yourself or your family, so you let anger win that fight. You quickly punched the blue-haired boy in the middle of the face, the one who fell on his butt with a scream.

"Buggy!" The red-haired friend screamed and went to help him.

"I'm not snotty!" You said stomping your foot on the floor.

The red-haired boy looked between you and the companion, his gaze showing shock and… fascination? He looked at you like you were a bedtime story hero, someone amazing and you couldn't understand. Shouldn't he be angry? You had just hit his colleague and he seemed fascinated by it?

"Wow…" he exclaimed looking you up and down.

"Humpf! Idiot" you said without patience and then you turned to leave the alley "You're lucky I won't tell my brothers, Marco would finish you off" you said and then left the place ignoring the red haired boy who kept calling you .

You were nervous and frustrated that visit to the city had not gone as you planned, so you decided to go back to the ship earlier. Luckily you would stay a few days in that place, there would be other opportunities to explore and meet kind and fun children, no more children who irritated you. It wasn't long after returning to shore that the crew set up a small camp to store the new supplies while the ship was refueled. There, you found Marco fiddling with some papers and further away you could see his father giving orders to some other members.

You sat with a sulky face while eating a candy you bought in town, Marco looked at you curiously and approached with a characteristic smile.

"What's wrong birdie-yoi?" He smiled and sat down next to you.

"I… I met some annoying kids" you decided it was better to omit what had happened, as much as you wanted revenge, you understood that the confusion had been a misunderstanding and you didn't want your siblings worrying about something so silly.

"Wasn't that fun?" He nodded when he saw you deny it. "Don't worry, you can still meet other kids in the next few days" he smiled trying to calm you down "And if nobody wants to play with you, let's get Visa and Jozu and have a tea party, how about that?" He offered, knowing you were always happiest spending time with your brothers.

"Promise?" You looked at him sullenly.

"On my honor" he smiled as he saw you clearly getting more excited about the idea.

After a little chat, Marco had to get back to work and you decided not to bother him anymore. So to distract yourself until dinner time you decided to walk along the nearby beach and look for some shells to collect, you were still thinking about the boys from before, especially the redhead. He was looking at you with so much emotion that you couldn't help but feel your stomach churning, no one had ever looked at you like that… It was so weird and it made you so confused, what was that? Some noises in the nearby forest caught your attention, being curious that you were, so it didn't take long to approach and look for who was there.

"It 's you!" You said in recognition of seeing the red hair from before.

"Shhhh!" He asked for silence and you covered your mouth, looking around for any threat "Are your brothers here?" he asked quietly.

"They're over there…" you pointed into the distance and he seemed to agree silently "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you again" he admitted looking at the floor, his cheeks were slightly pink and you felt your body getting warm.

"Why?" You asked timidly.

"Because your punch was super cool!" His eyes sparkled "You hit Buggy right on!"

"Is he not your friend?" You asked confused.

"He is… But you were just defending yourself! He shouldn't have called you snotty… You're not snotty, you're too cute to be!" He confidently admitted.

"Do you think I'm cute?" Your cheeks were now on fire.

"I do…" he smiled shyly "I'm Shanks, what's your name?" He approached.

"(Y/n)" you smiled.

"Cool, I didn't know Whitebeard had someone in the crew with my age"

"How do you know I’m in the Whitebeard’s crew?”

"You said you had a brother named Marco, I know him! And my captain said Whitebeard was in town, so that had to be it," he said with pride in his little investigation.

"Your captain? Are you a pirate too?" You were curious now.

"Yes! I'm from the Roger Pirates!" he exclaimed with pride.

That's when your face became sad... You had heard about this crew countless times, all your life you grew up hearing that they were your father's main enemies and that you could not, under any circumstances, approach them.

"I shouldn't be talking to you!" You finally realized and tried to run, but Shanks was quick and grabbed you.

"Wait! Please! I don't want to hurt you!" He begged as he held her wrist gently but firmly.

"How can I trust you? You kidnapped me this morning! And we are sworn enemies!" You snorted.

"But I don't want to be your enemy…"

"You don't?" You let your emotions get the best of you.

"No… I… I want to be your boyfriend!" He declared with fire in his eyes.

"Boyfriend!?" You stuttered in shock, your face was hot and probably red, your eyes were wide in shock.

"Yes! You're super strong and cute!" He said without a care and then let go of your hand "Unless you didn't like me…"

"No! I did like you…!" You admitted with embarrassment "But… I never had a boyfriend… What do they do?"

"They… They" he stammered in embarrassment "They hold hands… Kiss on the cheek and go on dates!" He said with embarrassment.

"Oh!" You exclaimed with as much embarrassment as he was. You thought about holding Shanks hands and your stomach started to turn, it would also be really cool to be able to play with him.

"It's cool, isn't it? We can be sweethearts!" He tried to convince you.

"(Y/n)?! Where are you? It's getting dark and we should go back to the ship" You heard your father's voice approaching.

"Shanks?! Where are you?!" Another unknown voice came from the middle of the forest.

Before you could run away the fearsome encounter took place, behind you was your father and behind Shanks must have been the much talked about Roger, his captain. You both widened your eyes in terror when you realized what was happening, but you didn't dare open your mouth to try to explain.

"Roger"

"Newgate"

"Can you explain why your brat is talking to my child?" He quickly put a hand on your shoulder and pulled you back.

"Good question, what's up Shanks? Did you come here to talk to the old man?" The captain chuckled, he didn't seem to be mad at Shanks at all.

"I… Well…" the boy mumbled incoherently with embarrassment.

"Did he do something to you?" Your father asked, looking at you calmly, he didn't seem mad at you at all, which calmed you down a bit.

"No…" you mumbled shyly and grabbed his leg.

"Hm, maybe they just met and had a chat" Roger theorized "Or are they secretly flirting, huh Shanks? You naughty, came for the riskiest one" the man teased.

"Don't talk nonsense Roger, (y/n) can't date you, brat" His father said as if that was nonsense.

"I can't?" You asked with some sadness in your voice.

"They can’t?" It was Shanks's turn to look sadly at his captain.

The two men stared at each other in shock, they seemed to slowly understand what was going on between the two of you.

"Don't tell me… Did you like this piece of junk?" your father asked in shock and nervousness.

"Hey! No need to offend other people's children!" Roger defended "Shanks isn't that bad… He's just… He" the man shrugged.

"Like you understand" Edward rolled his eyes.

"Come on, we were young once!" Roger laughed "Let the kids date and have some fun, nothing bad will come of it"

"No" Edward gave the final verdict, but when he felt you pulling his pants and making your huge lost puppy eyes with tears threatening to fall he started to rethink the idea "(y/n)..."

"Please?" You asked "I promise I'll help more often in the kitchen if you let me..." you tried to bargain, you liked Shanks, you didn't want to be banned from dating him, even if you didn't know exactly what boyfriends did.

"Heavens… Who knew having kids would be like this…" He sighed tiredly "You guys can date" Shanks smiled "With some conditions!"

"Conditions? That's not fair!" He huffed angrily.

"Calm down little one, he's the father, he has the right to decide that, you have to earn trust and permission" Roger said quickly, Shanks seemed more resigned.

"First you need to grow up a bit, I can step on you now and I won't let such a small and young brat date my child!" he said quickly.

"Uhum!" The redhead's eyes sparkled.

"Second, you need to be strong! I will not tolerate a weakling having my child as a partner, you need to be able to face me without fear to have their hand"

"Yes! I'm going to be really strong!" He smiled looking at you and you looked away shyly.

"And finally, when you have those two things, the most important one" Shanks listened attentively "You need their acceptance" your father put his hand on your head "If you have both requirements and my child still loves you then I won't be the one going to stop you" he chuckled.

You smiled happily as you looked at Shanks who also looked confident.

"You'll see old man! I'm going to marry them!" He proclaimed with pride.

Roger just laughed praising his apprentice while your father looked frustrated and stroked your hair. You smiled thinking about how cool it would be to have Shanks as your boyfriend, you really didn't see the time to be able to be with him.

Continue...

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ• ────── ✦ ────── •

Notes: I hope you enjoyed! There will be a part two showing what happened to them as adults, if you can leave what you think it will motivate me a lot because I'm new here! If you want to ask for something feel free! I'll make the best imagines I can, thanks for the support and see you soon

[here-comes-the-moose]

Some More of my Bad Batch Headcanons Under the Cut

Because of his enhanced vision, Crosshair used to get sick from Tech’s flying. He’s mostly fine now, but it can happen if things get really rough.

Crosshair and Hunter get migraines. Crosshair’s affect his vision more, whereas Hunter’s affect his hearing more. Both are sensitive to smells.

Crosshair had a huge crush on General Skywalker. His brothers teased him about it.

Tech made Crosshair a special eye mask for his migraines.

Hunter feels like he always has to be strong for his younger siblings, so is only able to fully open up to Echo.

Changes in air pressure really mess with Hunter’s ears.

Tech made him some special ear plugs, both for the air pressure thing and for his migraines.

Crosshair is the youngest, and the others never let him forget it.

Crosshair is actually the most sensitive member of the batch.

Omega looks just like Crosshair as a kid.

Crosshair is a natural blond like Omega , he just bleaches his hair for the silver/platinum look.

Crosshair had a very baby face for most of his cadet years and when they were first deployed. I’m talking round face, chubby cheeks, the works. When he would glare at people, no one could take him seriously.

On that note, the Batch were deployed at an earlier age than most clones are, and still looked quite young when they first entered the war. People were confused by the extremely high success rate of these baby-faced enhanced clones.

This led to Cody adopting them right on the spot, of course.

Crosshair was the one who suggested that Echo come with them and be part of their squad.

Crosshair actually listens to Echo (most of the time). Hunter is extremely impressed by Echo’s ability to get his younger brother to behave with just a single look.

Omega is the only one with a 100% success rate in getting Crosshair out of bed during a depressive episode.

Everyone knows that Crosshair and Wrecker team up to cause shenanigans™️, but the real danger comes when Crosshair and Tech team up to cause trouble. If the two of them are suspiciously quiet and haven’t been seen in a while, Hunter has alarm bells going off in his head.

Seeing Tech and Crosshair together reminds Echo so much of himself and Fives when they were in the 501st.

Echo knew Crosshair and Tech were twins before anyone even told him.

Crosshair was one of those kids who held his breath until he got his way.

He was also one of those kids who would cry to the point of throwing up.

Omega is used by her brothers (mainly Crosshair or Wrecker) to convince everyone to get a treat or to have dessert before dinner.

Echo is always the first choice to be on the aux.

All of them were completely devastated after Wrecker’s injury, but showed it in different ways. Hunter became more withdrawn but also became extremely overprotective of his brothers after and continued to have nightmares of both the incident but also other instances in which his brothers could get hurt. Tech could not sleep and kept running over what had happened to see if he could have done anything differently or better to have prevented it from happening (he couldn’t have and that makes it worse in his mind). Crosshair could not stop crying and absolutely refused to leave Wrecker’s side to the point where the medics gave up on trying to remove or sedate him.

Wrecker used to be in charge of their meals before Echo came to live with them. Now they split the responsibility (not completely 50/50 though since they all prefer Echo’s cooking).

They used to eat like a bunch of college guys before Echo came to live with them.

Crosshair gets sick really easily.

Hunter pretty much never gets sick, but he does have really bad allergies.

Tech is a slutty drunk.

Hunter cannot sing for shit.

Hunter is permanently banned from cooking after not only setting the kitchen on fire, but also undercooking and burning the food and giving his brothers the worst food poisoning. This was all from the same incident.

Omega regularly calls her brothers (minus Echo) stinky.

She started this after hearing Echo calling them stinky.

Wrecker LOVES listening to space Kesha and space Katy Perry.

Wrecker only drinks fruity drinks. If it doesn’t taste like juice and have a little garnish, he doesn’t want it.

The only exception to this is beer.

Omega keeps her brothers humble. It’s actually her duty as a little sister. She once called Crosshair stinky and old on the same day.

Tech is the main one who can understand Crosshair when he gets into one of his moods. He is also the one who is able to explain what’s going on to the rest of the batch.

Feel free to add more! I love hearing everyone’s headcanons 😊 I will also be posting more this is a threat

[phantomonabudget]

We need to talk, Pham. Stop shaming Christine Daaé.

I have seen this behavior consistently for the 30+ years I have been a Phan. What's worse is that I see A LOT of it from grown women. I see posts calling her foolish for leaving Erik. Slut shaming her or calling her a gold digger. Calling her stupid, weak, or unworthy because a "real woman" (presumably the women posting these absurd notions 🙄) would have loved him better and been worthy of his awesome talent and capacity for love. 😳🤮

It's disturbing, disheartening, and disgusting. And it needs to stop.

First off, none of these characters are real, so perhaps let's take things a little less seriously in general. It's a fictional story. I get it: we all love it, and probably love the Phantom's character. That's fine....I've made a 20+ year career dressing as the dude, for crying out loud. 🤣 Maybe we all identify with Erik/The Phantom to some degree. Regardless of the version of the story, if the actors or authors do their job well, we *should* feel pity and compassion for him. But feeling compassion and completely ignoring the character's dangerous and abusive behavior are two very different things. It has the potential for some severe consequences in the real world.

By shaming Christine for leaving Erik at the end, you are potentially telling young people that staying in abusive relationships is the right thing. You make them think that if their significant other is talented, misunderstood, been abused themselves etc, then they should stay and love them into a healthy relationship. That if they just love their abusive SO harder, sacrifice themselves a little more or for a little longer, or keep putting that person's needs above their own, that the relationship will suddenly become this wonderful, euphoric experience. It won't. As a survivor of longtime abusive myself, I can tell you from experience: it doesn't happen that way.

Celebrate healthy relationships and enforcing healthy boundaries. Stop shaming Christine for fighting for and winning her life and saving the man she loves.

And please stop calling this a romance. It's the antithesis of romance.

I am sick of members of this Phandom completely ignoring Erik/The Phantom's behavior to justify their blind adoration. Erik is an abusive and dangerous character, and extremely toxic. He lies to and manipulates Christine using her trauma from her deceased father. He kidnaps her, multiple times. Threatens her and her colleagues. He extorts hundreds of thousands from the business managers. He endangers dozens of people with the chandelier crash, and effectively holds hundreds hostage for months or years at a time with his reign of terror at the Opera.

Then there are the murders. Several of them. Probably been at that for awhile so we can assume it's far more than the two we see in the show. We don't know his actual body count, but we do know he's adept and comfortable taking human life.

And yet, I see some mature phans out here completely ignoring all those things and still shaming Christine for leaving him. Why? Because he's "sexy" (author's note: PLEASE go re-read Leroux. Please). And he's talented. And has so much love to give. And is misunderstood. And society was terrible to him...so it's all fine. 😳🤮 She should have just stayed and loved him like he deserves to be loved. 🙄

Recently I saw a post shaming Christine and the justification was that Raoul was so much worse. He isn't. Is he a perfect character? No, not at all. Does he make mistakes and try to use Christine? In some versions, yes. Does he run around extorting, manipulating, threatening, and killing others? Also no.

Pleasw don't ever use LND!Raoul's character assassination as some kind of justification, because he's still the most sane, normal human being in that show, and Erik is still 1,000 times worse than Raoul in LND. Also, using LND as justification for anything makes for a very weak and uninformed argument.

"Hurt people hurt people." Ever heard that phrase? Abused people sometimes abuse others, especially if they haven't done the work to heal themselves. Their previous abuse does NOT entitle them to abuse others. That is always a deliberate choice and those choices have consequences. The dangerous, disgusting rhetoric I see in the Phantom community basically excuses toxic behavior because Erik was previously abused and nothing is his fault. That is simply not true. Those that abused me were previously abused. Didn't make my abuse hurt any less. And I made the choice to do the work so that the abuse stopped with me. Previous trauma is a reason for the behavior, but it is NEVER, ever an excuse.

And don't let the fact the dude can sing or that he's a snappy dresser blind you to his toxicity.

We can all enjoy the Phantom character's complexity and love him, while still acknowledging his flaws and holding him accountable for his deeply inappropriate choices.

We talk a lot more these days about trauma, toxicity, and self care. And yet, as a community, we still shame the character of Christine Daaé for doing the healthy, correct thing. The ONLY thing. And in doing so, we set a disturbing precedent for our young or vulnerable Phans who now might think that staying in toxic relationships in the real world is okay.

Please do better, Phandom.

[kaeyats]

SAGAU,, water park

after the genshin characters (zhongli, xiao, childe, albedo, ei, yae miko, venti, diluc, kaeya, ayaka, ayato, kazuha, aether, paimon, lumine) found a way to leave teyvat and enter earth, you've been bringing them around to experience all the fun things in the modern world. and what's a better place to find some modern fun than in a water park?

reader's gender is not specified, as with most of my works. requests and imagines in my ask box are appreciated, but will take a while. :D

warnings: reader is implied to be rich because this is wish fulfillment and the fic was based on a water park with really expensive tickets so this is the only logical reasoning within the fic, a few suggestive themes because swimsuits (gender neutral) are generally just so, lots of stress and chaos, mentions of alcohol, extreme rides/slides, based on my experiences with water parks in the philippines. these aren't actual warnings and i'm just rambling, aren't i? ^^

perhaps bringing all of them to a public place at the same time wasn't your best idea and considering how chaotic the trip has been so far, it might as well have been your worst. at the moment, you were quite literally looking and acting like a stressed out single parent, chasing around your ten- eleven children. if you counted ei fighting children to the tiny slides being "a child". never in your lifetime did you think you'd have to babysit the uptight and lawful electro archon (you've been her tour guide in-game, but that doesn't count), but here you were, explaining to her how the area with the extremely cheerful colors was indeed meant for kids under 9, not for gods around 2,000. you tried dragging ei into the wave pool, a place acceptable for adults (or at least adult-looking beings), but she didn't seem to want to interact with the deep waters, choosing instead to sit inside your rented cottage and brood after you dragged her away from all the crying children she threatened for cutting the line. the shallow waters of said "kiddy area" were much more appealing to ei, but she's not even allowed to be there anymore. >:((

both yae miko and kaeya had a lot to say about ei's humiliatingly childish actions, although you noticed kaeya being careful with his words, intelligent even in his teasing — ei was still a dangerous being after all. they teased the poor archon's face into a shade similar to diluc's hair and taking pity on ei, you decided to tell them off. the two eventually went away to do more entertaining things (their words), stepping away to lay down under an umbrella's shade with heavily tinted shades and drinking glasses full of soju. you always suspected that those two would get along quite well and seeing their relaxed figures gossiping about everything and anything on sun loungers, it seemed you were right. unfortunately for you though, they found pleasure in targeting you with their teasing, praising your body in swimwear, often cornering you with flirtatious remarks and inappropriate offers.

moving on, you found yourself your own drinking buddy as well. though you and kazuha chose to drink grape juice instead of anything alcoholic, knowing his.. extremely low tolerance. for a few moments, you found peace with kazuha (and the still-brooding archon sitting in the corner of your cottage, now drowning silently in guilt). you two chatted a lot about your world, you told him about every thought that came to mind and he listened to you with an attentiveness that warmed your heart. you always knew kazuha was a wonderful listener and even when you enjoyed the man's tales of traveling, it was nice to have someone who'd give you time and space to talk as well. the free-spirited wanderer tried some slides and rides with the others a while ago, but he found that conversing with you excited his beating heart more.

but of course, peace never had a chance of lasting with your current companions. after a few minutes of complaining about how venti never finished his food and would always leave random chunks in the open, you were approached by a grinning childe. albedo, xiao, aether, and diluc following closely behind him. a strange combination the more you pondered on about it, but that thought flew out your head the moment ajax opened his mouth, "[name]! me and the others are gonna try out the biggest water slide in the place. is that alright with you?"

"sure, if you can handle it.. wait, why are you even asking me about this? aren't you all literal adults...?"

a blush appeared on the harbinger's face, a common sight when he was around you, "ah, yes- just making sure."

"mm. okay, fair. kazu, i'm coming with them, just to make sure they don't murder any staff on the way." you looked over to the man you were previously sitting with, unaware of the jealous looks being thrown at him by the others behind you. he only seemed to shrug, signaling to you that he was rather fine where he was (and would rather not participate in further chaos). knowing who you were with, you empathized with kazuha's decision to stay behind. if only you had the freedom to run away from your "acolytes", but you doubt they'd ever let you get away from them.

while climbing the stairs towards the massive slide, you realized who exactly childe was bringing with him. you were confused to say the least. the traveler and everyone else was an expected group of folk, but all five of them? you never considered them to be close despite the few weeks they've been in your world. and knowing diluc's deep hatred for the fatui, you were surprised him and the ginger even agreed to doing something together. you weren't complaining though, quite curious about their dynamic. you just wondered how and why they even agreed to this. you had no time to ask however as the screams of the poor tourists going down the slide immediately grappled your attention.

had you asked them, you'd have found out that it was originally childe's idea, aether had agreed to go along with it as he does with most things, and the two originally intended to invite zhongli. he was too occupied with an oddly feminine magazine, thinking it was a record of wisdom from your world. so he instead asked the adeptus next to him to go in his stead, encouraging his somewhat son to pursue fun and bonding time with other people. xiao reluctantly agreed, the promise of excitement (god, listening to zhongli talk about the magazine's advice column was boring) and almond tofu afterwards influencing his decision making. realizing that the slide required four people, childe and aether frantically searched for a fourth, the deafening screams of the people who were currently on the slide spurring on the bloodthirsty harbinger even more.

soon enough, they found diluc who seemed to be in deep conversation with a certain chief alchemist. it took a lot for them to convince the winery owner into joining, but after realizing that going on the ride was probably going to impress you, their mighty and benevolent creator, the one who took them in their beautifully decorated home despite the constant hassle they brought, diluc relented and agreed, if only to showcase his bravery and strength.

now here they were, climbing into the giant floatie they were gonna ride down the slide. childe acted with excitement in his every step, he was quite familiar with the hydro element and he's had his fair share of gliding down waterfalls, slides gave about a similar feeling so he wasn't nervous at all — in fact, he was thrilled, almost psychotically so. unlike childe, diluc appeared quite stoic, quite emotionless about the whole ordeal. however, to anyone who paid attention to the tight grip he had on their floatie's handles and the sweat subtly streaming down his face, they would see that his expression of stone couldn't be further from what he was truly feeling. unfortunately for diluc, a cetain snezhnayan noticed, and he was intent on picking on the red-head later. aether felt quite a bit anxious. no kidding, he's faced many dangerous opponents in the past, but water slide physics had never been one of them. he was excited nonetheless, ready to feel the familiar rush of adrenaline flow through his veins. and as for the adeptus, he was rather.. unsure about what he was feeling. he couldn't remember the last time he felt fear, he was probably one of the strongest beings from teyvat, but here, the usage of his powers were prohibited and one couldn't exactly combat a slide. someway, somehow, his heart rate was faster than usual as he felt an unfamiliar emotion bubbling up in his stomach.

"wait, 'bedo, aren't you going to join them?"

"oh no, they only needed four people. i just tagged along to make a few observations." he explained to you, the waterproof camera you bought him a while ago held securely in his hands.

"for research purposes?" you questioned the brilliant alchemist with a mischievous glint in your eye.

"you can say that, but mostly for entertainment."

you smirked at his response. lately, albedo had appeared more human around you and the others. at first, he was so caught up in researching and trying to understand every single thing in your world, he had forgotten to truly take anything in. but recently you found that he finally let himself just enjoy the moment, letting loose in every new scenario he was introduced to.

albedo was chuckling with you when it was finally childe, diluc, xiao, and aether's turn to sway around the circular looking slide. you never pegged diluc to be a screamer, but out of all four of them, his deep baritone voice was the one heard throughout the resort. his body was rigid and visibly in a state of panic as they continued to move in rapid speeds, you were worried he was going to jump off the floatie mid-slide or something, but to your relief, diluc held on throughout the whole ride. you never thought childe would scream as well, but he did scream a bunch (like a pussy) before he started laughing in excitement (and at diluc's facial expressions, ones that albedo were lucky enough to capture). aether was fine for the most part, his vocal reactions mostly ones out of enjoyment. xiao was even more so rigid than diluc, seemingly frozen in place, silently panicking. he looked like he was holding on for his dear life and for a moment, it awakened your protective instincts.

as you descended down the building with albedo to congratulate your boys for being so god damn brave, you were greeted with the sight of the cavalry captain teasing his brother's unexpected reactions and yae along with ei curiously inquiring aether about the ride, considering taking a turn. zhongli didn't look so well, he looked rightfully concerned for his loyal warrior. despite childe's attempts at hyping him up, the former geo archon refused and left to tend to xiao instead, leaving a spot for the cavalry captain to take.

you discovered a lot of things that day. apparently kaeya, unlike his brother, only grunted when faced with extreme fear. yae remained more composed than ei, even finding the breath to make fun of her during the extreme ride. it came as a shock when you heard the electro archon shriek and hiss like a cat while they were sliding down. albedo's reactions were quite emotionless, only ever making a noise around the part where they fall down. diluc tried again a second time and safe to say, his reactions were quite better than the first time, his screams decreasing significantly in volume. you even had a try yourself and you finally understood why your companions reacted the way they did.

ei, yae, kaeya, and albedo made a good quartet, you thought. it eventually came time that they had to close the rides and after all of the screaming and taking turns on different slides, the four had stayed together as a group. curiously joining their conversation, you found that they made a wholesome dynamic — often conversing about the mundane things in life then it escalating to some philosophical thing, all the while sophisticatedly uplifting one another. yae promoted her, uhh, interesting light novels to albedo at some point and you have never seen him look so flabbergasted yet morbidly curious as when yae explained the premises of some of her favorite books. kaeya just laughed at the interaction between the two, a bit tipsy already. he had learned to embrace the insanity that was guuji yae's interest in novelaw a while back when they were talking.

you had wandered shortly after joining their bickering, exploring the little shops around the water park resort. you bought a trinket for every character you had brought with you, somehow always finding something that reminded you of someone. for venti, it was a pair of socks that had blue green stripes wrapped around them. for aether and paimon, you bought three wooden keychains (one for you to match) that had interesting markings. for diluc, you bought more sunscreen because he always looked so sunburnt despite the many times you rubbed sunscreen all over his body. you chuckled to yourself, you were shopping like a cheap grandma on christmas.

you ran into paimon, lumine, ayato, ayaka, and venti shortly afterwards. only then did you realize that you hadn't seen them much the whole day. apparently, they had been enjoying their own little spa-and-shop day with your credit card (god bless its soul). as much as they wanted to spend time with you the whole day, they'd rather abuse the resort side of the water park than add on the list of children you were tasked to babysit.

"i thought after shopping, you'd finally get rid of those blinding speedos, oh dear bard."

"that's what i kept telling him!" chipped in the ever so chatty paimon.

safe to say you got a whole excerpt about how wearing bright yellow speedos to a water park was nothing to be ashamed of. in fact, in venti's own logic, you should be praising his charmingly good looks and drowning him in attention for wearing such seductive and scandalous clothing. ayato was very, uhm, to put it, disturbed by the whole conversation. you caught lumine shooting him a look of pity more than once throughout the bard's ramblings. you did your best to reassure the kamisato siblings not to worry as it was all just harmless banter with the bard. talking came as one tedious task with the anemo archon constantly whining and sputtering out utter bull next to you. you were this close to shoving a bunch of swimwear into his mouth to shut him up.

but alas, the time came that you had to head home and venti's demise had once again slipped away from your hands. you refused to sit near him, instead forcing him to take the car with the annoyed diluc and the entertained childe. if it were any other night, venti probably would've gotten along with the sly ginger, but the harbinger was instead shot down with the brooding bard's remarks about how stupid he looked. your poor personal driver (amongst many other paid drivers) had to tolerate the frustrated banter tossed around by the three as well as a certain paimon joining in only to stoke the fires of their anger. poor aether did his best to ignore them and just stare out of the car window, wishing he had took the car with you and his sister instead.

you sat down in between lumine and ayato, deciding their company was the most pleasant and well, least stressful to deal with. you laughed along the two, updating them on all the escapades that had occurred a while back — a thoroughly flustered xiao glaring at you three from behind you, zhongli next to him excitedly chatting with ayaka about another magazine (meant for teenage girls) he had found inside one of the stores in the water park.

"so that's what me and lumine heard."

"trust me, i was shocked too. albedo looked like he was having a eureka moment."

"somehow i don't think i can view the winery owner in the same lens after this."

overall, you would rate this day 8/10. fun, really fun. you almost died at the sight of your favorite characters in swimsuits, but it would've been a worthy death. the bonding and the rides were all really fun as well. it would've been 10/10 had venti not been flexing his speedos (and ass) to his fellow archons the whole time.

[katieaki]

So, you’re interested in jumping into Pony Express but aren’t sure where to start/feel daunted by the undertaking/are freaked out about missing lore & context? Pony Express is intended to be a completely standalone work with no knowledge of my prior work necessary for enjoyment, but it has been rolling for quite a while now! Here’s some info to help you orient yourself! 💫 I recommend looking at this guide on desktop as the mobile version collapses the bullet points in a strange way.

✨ Here’s the absolute most basic summary:

Lou Primrose (30 years old, 5'0", illiterate, hardworking, 3x rodeo champion) is a rider for the Pony Express, the Wasteland's mail service. Lou has agreed to transport an unusual package from the middle of the Wasteland to the nearly uninhabited coast: a glamorous redhead named Holliday Bell. A case of mistaken identity sees Lou brutalized and disabled by religious assassin from the church of Johnny Knives (god of death) Reckoning "Artie" Tehachapi, who attempts to atone for her wrongdoing by serving Lou until she's healed. Together (for better or worse) the three of them head toward the ocean through unknown and dangerous territory.

This work is erotic in nature 🔞 with some violence and survival-type gore.

✨ If you’re totally new here, you might have some questions. Here’s a super quick primer under the cut!

What’s up with The Wasteland?

The Wasteland is a post-apocalyptic, non-dystopian society in the former American southwest. It has been several generations since the civilization Before (that’s us, or maybe like... our grandparents) was decimated. Nobody is particularly interested in the whys or hows of the collapse, though it seems that environmental disaster & earthquakes were the main factor.

It’s a series of towns, shrines, convents, and monasteries. Quite a lot of it is in repurposed buildings from Before (imagine Route 66-style gas stations, diners, and motels, all heavily repaired) and some of it is kind of ramshackle old-west-y new builds.

God of Death, religious assassins, churches– what’s up with all that? I’m afraid, sounds lore-y.

Wasteland society is heavily structured around the two churches of the gods of life & sorrow (The Listening Lady) and death & justice (Johnny Knives), who are married, immortal, and absolutely real. They live apart from the mortals, but they do live in the Wasteland with them. The Listening Lady’s church is responsible for basically every aspect of Wasteland life. Listening Church shrines and convents are also the Wasteland’s official or de facto orphanages, pantries, farms, hospitals, therapists, inns, textile mills, wedding venues, and basically everything else you need to keep a society functioning. Listening Church acolytes may have a huge variety of occupations, from the extremely down-to-earth (midwifery and laundry etc) to the real Weird and Churchy (doing rituals and divination etc). Many of them take a vow of silence in honor of The Listening Lady. The church of Johnny Knives is much smaller and much more specialized. Knife Church disciples are assassins whose sacred duty is to kill those who need killing, as judged by god. 

You don’t really need to get INTO this, though. What you need to know is: Listening Church acolytes are generally warm and kind and in caregiver- or artisan-type roles. Knife Church disciples are peacekeepers & generally a little scary, but are also working toward the public good– kind, but not necessarily nice.

I know the concept of gods and disciples invokes the image of like, robes and shit, but that is NOT how it is! Listening Church acolytes tend toward chiffon and midcentury-lingerie-as-outwear looks and/or country western workwear, depending. Knife Church disciples nearly invariably have sort of a greaser/biker/leather daddy thing going on. They all talk about the gods like they’re their parents and their bosses, which they are. I think it’s kind of more normal than you might be expecting. 

So there’s like, magic?

According to the Wastelanders, yes. You don’t need to worry too much about any of that. Just let them do their things.

And everyone is in a church?

Almost everyone interacts with Listening Church in some way, very few interact with Knife Church in any way, but most people in the Wasteland are ‘civilians’ (that is to say, not working for either church).

And they’re all lesbians? How do they have babies??

They’re not ALL lesbians, but basically all our POV characters are & it’s a very lesbian-heavy society. There are many ways that two women may have children, including biological. You got this, I know you do. 

And everyone is blue?

Yeah, but it doesn’t really come up.

Why?

Because I liked drawing them with the sky blue posca paint marker when I began this body of work.

Ok. What’s up with Lou?

Louetta “Lou” Primrose is a rider for the Pony Express– she’s a Wasteland mailman. Her job is basically her whole life. She’s been working since she was ten years old, working for the Pony Express since she was 14. After receiving a romantic rejection from Venus, the dance hall girl she’s in love with, Lou agrees to take a strange red-headed woman, Holliday Bell, to the (allegedly) uninhabited coast, where Holliday’s wife is (allegedly) waiting for her.

Lou is dedicated, practical, and hard-working, but also hot-headed, frequently mean, a little self-conscious, and ‘a rambling man,’ never in one place for long. She’s markedly not religious among other Wastelanders (so is a great pov character for you if you’re new to al this!). Her greatest achievement has been winning the main event at the Wasteland’s biggest horse games three years in a row, unseating the previous champion. Nobody else really cares that much.

What’s up with Holliday?

Holliday Bell is an elegant and mysterious woman who showed up to Lou’s post office with stamps pinned to her blouse, claiming she’d mailed herself there from a town hundreds of miles away. She is asking Lou, who works at the most westerly post office in Wasteland, to finish the delivery by bringing her way out to the coast where she claims her wife, a pearl diver, is waiting for her. 

Holliday is strange. From the beginning, Lou feels put off by her personality, which is both abrasive and seemingly rehearsed. She can be unspeakably cutting and is obviously hiding a big secret. 

What’s up with Artie?

Reckoning “RT” “Artie” Tehachapi is the Knife Church disciple who, after a series of lies and miscommunications spanning several parties across the Wasteland, is sent to apprehend Lou, who she thinks has kidnapped Holliday. She breaks Lou’s wrist and dislocates her shoulder in their first altercation before she learns that Lou is an innocent party in all of this. Deeply ashamed of her actions, she vows to serve Lou until they make it back to civilization.

Artie is upbeat and optimistic, especially for Knife Church, but her guilt at her transgressions against Lou & eagerness to make up for them have left her in a kind of anxiety spiral.  She’s the only one who has any real survival skills and continually works herself to the last drop, and then works herself a few drops more. When her big, horrible, deep, dark secret is revealed, her mental state continues to deteriorate.

What’s up with Venus? We haven’t seen her in a while?/Who’s the one-armed smokeshow?

Venus is Lou’s love interest, the girl she left behind in Hereafter. We haven’t seen her in a while because she, wisely, stayed there while Lou went off on her extremely inadvisable mission.

Venus of the Wastes is a dime-a-dance girl/saloon girl/sex worker who lives in Hereafter. She is Lou’s friend and Lou is both in love with her and her best client. Just before Lou left to deliver Holliday, she admitted to Venus that she was in love with her. Venus is, at least, very fond of Lou.

✨ Ok, but this is a lot! Where do I start??

If you’re looking to hop in on the story in progress, I’ve made summaries of part 1 , part 2 , and part 3 as we have gone on. I’ll update this with part 4 when we finish it. 

If you’re a completionist, the links above have epub & pdf files of the full text of each part. Here’s where part 4 begins, until we finish that part and I post it all together. You can find the rest of part 4 by scrolling backwards through the collection. I will also attach pdfs & epubs of all the full text to this post on my patreon!

If you’re a completionist completionist & you want it ALL, here’s everything and the chronological order in which they occur in-universe. Again, Pony Express is meant to be able to stand on its own two feet without any of the rest of this, but it might be fun for you to read the rest. The first three here are kind of a series, but Tears Can’t Put Out This Flame and Bloodied on Arrival could both be read independently. Care and Keeping probably needs those two to support it, unless you’re happy just jumping in and figuring stuff out via context. It’s Artie’s backstory, but it’s not necessary for you to read to make Pony Express make sense. It’ll just give you a little more dramatic irony etc. 

Tears Can’t Put Out This Flame  - a novella about Hero Sasaki, a novice acolyte at the Church of the Listening Lady (god of life & sorrow) who has been tasked with delivering a package to an anchorite from her church. Frances is a disgraced assassin from The Church of Johnny Knives (god of justice & death) who has been tasked with escorting her. Through trials of the road, emergency first aid, prayer, ritual (blood and otherwise), a little sex, and a lot of tears, they find love exactly where they should've expected it in the first place.

Bloodied on Arrival - a novel about Nuisance (and Hero), a road-weary assassin from The Church of Johnny Knives (god of justice & death) who finds herself and her new cat taking refuge at a companionship shrine run by a beautiful older widow, Hero, of the Church of the Listening Lady (god of life and sorrow). The two can't deny their immediate connection and aim for a rewarding one-night stand, but things don't go as planned.

Care and Keeping - a work in progress novel(?) about Hero and Nuisance and their new adopted feral child, Artie, a little girl who has known nothing but abuse, pain, and starvation who believes it’s her sacred mission to join Knife Church. Nuisance agrees to train her to join the church in a bid to keep her from it for as long as possible. This is a kind of coming-of-age story for Artie and a becoming parents story for Hero & Nuisance.

Pony Express - A work in progress novel about Lou (also featuring Artie) - see synopsis at beginning of post.

The novel/las are available for purchase on my Patreon for $5 or for pay-what-you-want $5+ on Gumroad. If you find you can’t afford that, but want to read it, please let me know! DM me wherever or email me at missluckycatknives (at) gmail (dot) com I’m happy to make my work accessible to you. All Pony Express and Care and Keeping are free as I work on them. 

[championari]

True Love: Why FifteenxRogue Works

WOW. Man, that Rogue episode, huh? Watching that live was probably the greatest experience I’ve had recently regarding Doctor Who. Not just as a queer viewer, but as a queer media analyst. Fifteen and Rogue truly feel like a relationship written for me to analyze, because there is simply so frickin’ much to talk about. So, allow me, gentle reader, to be your Lady Whistledown of queer alien fuckery, and guide you through analyzing the latest dalliance of our Time Lord extraordinaire with the most honest bounty hunter in the galaxy. 

We’ll be covering a LOT of ground in this: the theme of facades/masks, an interrogation of The Doctor’s perception of romantic relationships, and a deep dive into The Fifteenth Doctor’s character overall. So, needless to say, this is going be a LONG LONG piece. Grab a snack, some water, whatever you need, cause we’re going deep on this one. 

You’re still here? Fantastic! Then let us begin! Specifically, with the Fifteenth Doctor himself. Because above all else, this episode works as a dissection of his character overall. 

I’ve already done two metas regarding The Giggle’s ending and The Doctor’s perception of romance pre-Season 1/14, so if you want more elaboration, go read those here: 1, 2. But in case you don’t, I’ll sum up and expand based on what we’ve learned since. 

The Doctor, as a character, has always struggled with commitment and attachment. They never stayed in one place for long and when they did, they had an unhealthy relationship with it (Trenzalore, Darillium, Bill’s University). Romantic connection is a permutation of this larger issue, as every romantic relationship we have seen The Doctor take part in since 2005 either was unbalanced (holding back problems/outright lying) or ended in a really bad way.  However, thanks to the 60th specials and a bi-generation, The Doctor went through a massive change, and with it, came a new perception of openness and love. Fifteen is more expressive, and willing to verbally identify beauty. He openly points out how beautiful people are, and talks about previous exploits with pride. But this supposed openness betrays a deeper dishonesty still inside the Doctor. As much as Fifteen talks the talk of openness, he doesn’t often walk the walk when things get tough.

Fifteen’s character struggle is trying to break out of the Doctor’s previous patterns of unstable attachment and commitment while continuing those patterns. He values emotional honesty and encourages it in others yet simultaneously runs from it when the spotlight is on himself, even when he knows it’s beneficial and necessary for him to do so. So, with all of that in mind, let’s deep dive into Rogue (the episode, not the character, but also the character).

The best word to describe this episode is ‘deception’. Setting the episode in Bridgerton-esque Regency-era England was an appropriate choice, likening to a show that is all about facades and posturing to gain wealth and social standing (yes I am oversimplifying, don’t hurt me). Throughout the episode, we see characters who aren’t who they present themselves to be and use all manner of tools or tactics to disguise themselves to meet their ends. 

We have the Chuldur, creatures who gain pleasure from cosplaying. They thrive on creating fake entertainment for their amusement, honesty is useless if it can’t satisfy them. While this is meant as an obvious commentary on fan culture and how dangerous it can get when taken to the extreme, it also functions as a darker reflection on The Doctor’s habits. Because think about it: what are Fifteen and Ruby doing in this episode? They are having fun, dancing alongside the other partygoers. They’re wearing the outfits but only to blend in. Ruby doesn’t know how to dance, she has to wear psychic earrings to keep up. She watches the fake fight between ‘Emily’ and ‘Lord Stilton’ like she would watch an episode of Bridgerton. Her fight with Emily later in the episode is set to Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’ playing in the background.

What we’re seeing in the villains is The Doctor’s pastimes becoming toxic, taking a companion and bringing them to a culture far removed from their own. But it’s not only a commentary on The Doctor overall, it’s also Fifteen’s philosophy in a darker context. Posing as sincerity and maybe containing it to some extent, but ultimately not completely honest. Through the setting and the villains, the episode is already priming us on a subconscious level to be thinking about disguises and dishonesty, a topic that both The Doctor and the Fifteenth incarnation specifically have a complicated relationship with. And then comes Rogue.

Rogue himself is such a fascinating part of the episode because he is such a deliberate disruption to this cultivated environment of deception. Rogue is the complete antithesis of everyone in the plot. He’s terrible at improvising, he’s socially awkward, he dances without needing psychic earrings, and he never cleans the inside of his ship. Rogue intentionally disrupts the narrative of lies by not being able to play the game. Even when he tries to wear a mask, the mask of an uncaring bounty hunter, He doesn’t wear it well and gets rid of it after the ship scene with The Doctor. Rogue is a character who cannot help but be who he is, he’s a character who not only can’t wear a mask but doesn’t want to. To put it simply, honesty is Rogue’s kink. That’s why the episode is named after him; it’s not just because he’s a central character, but because he provides the counter-argument to the themes of lies and deception. Rogue, the disruptor to The Chuldur’s acts of fake entertainment, and the disruptor to The Doctor’s act of cosplaying with Ruby, and on a deeper level, disrupts Fifteen’s oscillation between sincerity and repression. But we’ll get to that, we have Mount Everest's amount of context to analyze first, starting with their first meeting.

The Doctor and Rogue’s beginning scene sets the stage for the main obstacle in their relationship: their masks. ‘Cause right now we’re operating with two versions of the characters: the facade/mask versions, and the real versions. We get our first look at Rogue when Fifteen looks around for interference on the psychic earrings. He finds him being the most conspicuous while wearing the ‘bounty hunter’ mask: on a balcony (separated from the party physically), not speaking at all. 

He is standing out here but only in the way someone who knows disguises would recognize. The Doctor, remember no. 1 liar, of course he’s gonna recognize that. So much so, that he gives Rogue pointers on how to put on a better “brooding” face, literally teaching him how to wear the mask better. Rogue is an amateur mask wearer, going up against the master of mask-wearing. And that’s why Fifteen smiles when he sees him, he’s intrigued by that contradiction and wants to know more. 

Rogue meanwhile, is being rude and dismissive to scare him off, trying to keep to the mask he’s built. At this point, he knows that Fifteen also stands out from the rest but right now is assuming that he’s still a random partygoer. Notice what he says to him: 

He’s still using language and ideas someone from that era would understand. Where this deviates is this little exchange that felt familiar to me, but I couldn’t figure out from where. Until I remembered this:

(credit to @ngatwa for this set, you're amazing)

This is the first instance in the episode where Fifteen and Rogue’s relationship calls back to previous romantically-coded relationships The Doctor has had between companions. But it’s not just romantic subtext, it’s subtext that explains where the two are in the relationship. Victorian Clara was far more than what she appeared to be (a governess masquerading as a barmaid/echo of a companion scattered in the Doctor’s timeline), and the Doctor was more than he appeared to be (an alien who lived in a blue box). In asking those questions, it’s both recognition of the masks and inquiry for the real person underneath. Same thing here: Rogue and Fifteen at this point are trying to figure each other out, trying to see beyond the masks of the uncaring bounty hunter, and the flirtatious partygoer. Where things start to go wrong is that neither party fesses up to who they are. Rogue instantly assumes Fifteen is The Chuldur he’s looking for, while Fifteen assumes Rogue is a regular partygoer looking to…*ahem* create a scandal in the gardens if you get what I mean. This explains why a violin rendition of Billie Eilish’s ‘Bad Guy’ plays in the background. It’s not just a Bridgerton reference, it’s contributing to both characters’ perception of each other in this scene: both characters think the other is the “bad guy”. The lead into the scene is deception, we leave it the same way. No breakthrough yet. 

Now we’re moving on to the scene in the garden, where both masks of Fifteen and Rogue begin clashing with their real personalities. Fifteen is still being semi-sincere, still complimenting Rogue. And like water, all of it is rolling off of him because he’s still under the assumption he’s talking to a shapeshifting alien. He rudely asks about The Doctor’s info dumping and doesn’t respond to The Doctor’s compliments.

(credit to @klausbens for the gif, you're awesome)

He’s not engaging because he thinks the Doctor is not who he appears to be, and for a character that values honesty, everything Fifteen says is gonna wash over him. The moment this changes is when the two are accusing the other of the murder. Quite literally finishing each other’s sandwiches (C’mon, you know I had to throw a Frozen reference in this somewhere). 

This is a very interesting scene given our current context. Trope-wise, this is meant to communicate to the audience the bond between the two characters, they’re thinking the same thing. But the trope is flipped on its head because both characters take it in opposite directions. Both Fifteen and Rogue are in perfect sync, they are being honest about how much they understand about the situation, but that information is leading them to completely different conclusions (i.e. the other person is the Chuldur). They’re slapping more masks onto each other, this time with information they know is true, which leads to them locking in their heels and simply not being honest altogether until later. This scene is a repeat of the previous one, except this time it’s them showing their hands a bit more, making the backslide all the more difficult. Getting close to sealing the deal, then heel turn at the last minute, a classic Bridgerton move. 

So, what needs to happen to break this backslide? Well, plain and simple honesty. The scene on Rogue’s ship is when both masks start coming off. What Fifteen is doing on the ship during the scene is essentially trying to figure out Rogue. He finds out the ship is meant to be piloted by two, and he discovers the origin of Rogue’s name, the Kylie Minogue music. Which is a moment I want to zoom in on. Right before this happens when Rogue gives a cheeky response to Fifteen finding out about the name, Fifteen makes a joke and starts emphasizing his Scottish accent. This is Fifteen putting on another mask to make a joke, and Rogue doesn’t appreciate that, given his dirty look. 

Then Fifteen finds the music, which he then again uses as an opportunity to joke around and make fun of him (and flirt a little bit with him).  Fifteen is removing Rogue’s mask, while he is staying enigmatic and mysterious, which is why Rogue is still stonewalling him. HOWEVER, two can play that game, and Fifteen makes a big mistake in showing Rogue the psychic paper. This is the first time Fifteen is completely honest about his feelings towards Rogue. No mask, no posturing, complete honesty. And we see Rogue responds positively to this: 

This is the first time the two are both on the same level, communicating honestly. And that’s where we start to see genuine romantic feelings and attraction. 

But it’s not enough, so what does Fifteen do? He pulls out the big guns. He shows Rogue the truth: he’s a Time Lord from Gallifrey and has lived many different lives over hundreds of years. He not only rips off his mask, he quite literally reveals all of the other masks the Doctor has worn throughout the ages. And what is Rogue’s reaction to this? 

Complete besotted awe. If honesty is Rogue’s kink, then The Doctor revealing their faces just supercharged it. This is the moment that Rogue falls in love because he’s finally seeing who this mysterious flirty person really is. 

Now, I’m gonna pull out another previous Doctor romance for two reasons: One, I’ve been seeing this comparison floating around for a while, and if you know me and my old analyses, it’s that I cannot leave an inaccurate take alone, and two, because I think it applies here. I’ve been seeing comparisons online of this episode to Girl in the Fireplace, in which a new character falls in love with The Doctor and gets the rare opportunity to see their true self. But what makes Reinette different from Rogue is that honesty kink. Reinette was attracted to the mystery of the Doctor, her childhood hero who somehow doesn’t age. Note when he comes back the first time, she focuses on how strange he is:

She learns more about them later, but she was already in love with them before that. Rogue doesn’t want the mystery. In reality, The Doctor wearing masks is a turnoff for him. He only wants the real thing, so when Fifteen reveals the truth, that’s when the genuine romance begins. 

(We could also extend this comparison to the discussion of consent: Reinette found out everything without The Doctor's permission, while Fifteen revealed all the info by himself, but whether we can consider this consensual depends on your definition of consent under duress/threat. So I’m not entirely sure what to make of this conversation, feel free to expand in the tags/replies cause I want to hear more about this)

So now we’re moving along to the TARDIS scene. We continue with the theme of disguises with the whole “bigger on the inside” routine, Fifteen riffing as Willy Wonka for a hot moment singing Pure Imagination, and we have Rogue’s momentary slip-up:

(credit to klausbens for the gifs, you're awesome)

This is a great sign of character growth because while he’s maybe not wholly honest about his feelings towards The Doctor, he still is open about his love for the TARDIS, an important part of The Doctor’s life, so big step right there. 

I want to pay attention to the heart-to-heart here because watching what Fifteen says and how he reacts is extremely important to getting his view on the situation. Because right now, I wouldn’t say The Doctor is in love with Rogue back. While there is a lot of attraction and hints at a deeper bond, Fifteen is still operating with most of his mask on. Notice that when he asks Rogue about the person he lost, Ncuti Gatwa’s blocking has him leaning on the railing at an angle to the side of Rogue. He’s purposely staying at a distance, yet is leaning on the railings to appear casual. 

And when Rogue starts opening up, he moves closer and they’re at equal distance from each other.

We get a really sweet (and allegorical to the queer community) moment about The Doctor’s motivation of living out of respect for the dead, to keep living each day that they lost. And then we get Fifteen inviting Rogue onto the TARDIS. I want to focus on this because he doesn’t seem upset or disappointed by Rogue countering this offer by inviting The Doctor to travel with him, meaning he doesn’t see this as a “take it or leave it” offer. In fact, the compromise Fifteen comes up with, “let’s argue across the stars” and Rogue accepting it, is what leads to the almost kiss. So that prompts the question, what is Fifteen trying to say here? 

Well, what Fifteen is asking for is to continue seeing Rogue. It doesn’t matter to him if he’s on the TARDIS or not, all that matters is that he still has him in his life. The choice to see him more. Why does that sound familiar? Because that’s exactly what I wrote about in my dissertation on The Giggle’s Ending: 

“In giving Fourteen their own TARDIS, Fifteen is allowing his younger self to have what they always removed from the equation: free will. The Doctor can still go anywhere they want, which makes them even more motivated to stay and fix themself. Fourteen can feel safe staying with Donna, Wilf, Mel, Rose, Shaun, and Sylvia because the option to travel is still there.”

Fifteen’s love language is giving the people he cares about the freedom to express the love they already have within them. He values freedom above all else, and when Rogue accepts that freedom, that’s when we get the almost-kiss. This is the moment where The Doctor falls in love with Rogue back because it’s Rogue being willing to meet The Doctor where they’re at. He’s allowing Fifteen to set the pace and not force himself on him. 

Additionally, this willingness to be as slow or fast as The Doctor needs means far more to The Doctor overall than to just Fifteen. Many people have already pointed out the similarities between the line “let’s argue across the stars' and previous lines the Doctor has said to villainous characters like The Master and The Toymaker:

"We can take your games back to the stars."

"We can fight across the constellations if that's what you want".

Now, why is that? It’s because again, The Doctor’s perception of Rogue is evolving in this scene. Remember, up to this point, The Doctor doesn’t entirely know Rogue’s morality. All they know is that Rogue is a bounty hunter, and is not afraid to use his gun when he deems appropriate. There’s even a little line in this scene before the heart-to-heart where Fifteen specifically imposes his own brand of morality on the situation: “Whatever the Chuldur has done, I can’t let you kill it.” Now, we know that The Doctor’s morality and romantic life can conflict: River being a known murderer/psychopath, their longtime situationship, and later attempted rehabilitation of The Master/Missy. This is another feature of The Doctor’s character: while they do act like they have the final say on what is right, they also compromise that morality for people they care about. 

Like how The Doctor surprised Rogue by showing all of his faces, Rogue surprised the Doctor right back by not only being honest about his past but by being willing to accept The Doctor’s compromise. This moment is when The Doctor finds out that Rogue is a good person, and that The Doctor doesn’t need to compromise their morality when entering this relationship.

This heart-to-heart is about Rogue not only winning over the Fifteenth Doctor by agreeing with his values of freedom but also winning over The Doctor overall by just genuinely being a good person. But of course, the moral duty of taking care of the Chuldur rears its head in the form of the TARDIS alerting that the trap is ready. The bubble has popped and we still have a long way to go. 

(Plus, Fifteen’s facial expression in this shot perfectly captures that trademark “Oh.” moment, realizing you’re in love with someone but then taping it down to focus back on the immediate problem. Love you Ncuti Gatwa, you do great work)

Alright, now we’re at the dance/fake proposal scene. Oh lord, so much happens here with both dialogue and production regarding character, so let’s take this one at a time. Fifteen, Rogue and now Ruby have figured out the big plot regarding the Chuldur, their obsession with cosplay and dressing up to create drama. In response, Fifteen comes up with the idea to essentially beat them at their own game: create a fake scandal to draw them out. 

Now on paper and in terms of beating the bad guys, this is a plan that could and does work, but in terms of his relationship with Rogue: THIS. WAS. A. BAD. IDEA. Why? The very idea of masks and faking not only was the leading cause of them not connecting in the beginning but specifically doesn’t work with Rogue. You can see it in how Rogue nervously looks at Ruby and Emily when Fifteen asks him to dance, and even questions the validity of the plan: 

(credit goes to @carricfisher for texted gif, you're awesome)

It’s not just that he doesn’t know about homophobia, he just doesn’t like the idea of pretending at all. But the reason why it doesn’t collapse right away is because it’s not entirely pretending. The dance may function on the surface to create a scene, but for Rogue (and Fifteen albeit to a smaller extent) it doubles as an intimate moment between them. This connects to the choice of dimming the lights in an unrealistic way (which btw, as a film student, had me going insane watching it live). We’re seeing a deliberate break in reality, a dishonest showcase of the story being told, that serves the purpose of highlighting an ultimately honest and sincere act of love. Both The Doctor and Rogue are warping the aesthetic of deception in terms of the narrative by fabricating a scandal, and in terms of the production by changing the lighting. 

But of course, things start going to hell right there. Fifteen tries to up the drama and Rogue can’t keep up. Rogue overcorrects and proposes to Fifteen, who freaks out and leaves the room. Now, I don’t want to get into the question of whether or not Rogue was playing along by proposing or being genuine (Personally speaking, I think it was both. 70% true, and 30% fake). Instead, I want to clear up why Fifteen freaked out here. I’m sure a lot of the long-time audience could already guess that it was parallel to River Song, The Doctor’s wife, but I think it’s more layered than that. Why would a reference to River scare the Doctor so much, aside from reminding them of a close person they lost? Because the last time the Doctor got married to someone they truly loved, it involved a 24-year stay on Darillium, which he knew would end in tragedy. Note the word choice here:

“Sorry I…I can’t.”

Not ‘I don’t want this’, it’s a void of agency (which connects to my piece on The Giggle’s ending and freedom). The Doctor can’t have that with Rogue, he was fine with them being casual to avoid the possibility of losing him. 

But on my first watch, I couldn’t help getting a little bit cross with Fifteen here, because the amount of ball fumbling on display is outright ridiculous; The Time Lord brings himself onto the dancefloor, with a guy he nearly made out with two minutes ago, gets all up in his face and starts shouting at him to “tell me what you heart wants!” and then completely freezes when said guy starts proposing to him. What in the fuck did you expect was going to happen, bud?! What made you think this would go off without a hitch?

I want to preface this by saying I had a completely different reading of this scene for a long time. My original thought was that Fifteen was trying to do multiple things simultaneously. He potentially was trying to lure out the Chuldur by creating scandal and at the same time, was trying to have a serious talk with Rogue about where he’s at emotionally. These lines in particular have fascinated me since my first watch: “You would ask me to give up my title, my fortune. But what future can you promise me?”. It did feel like these lines hinted at Fifteen’s thought process at this moment, he chose those specific lines to use for this moment. Was Fifteen trying to have an honest conversation with Rogue about their relationship while being fake to everyone else? But that doesn’t make sense considering the previous conversation in the TARDIS showed Fifteen comfortable with the idea of them being casual and Rogue respecting that, so it doesn’t make sense with where Fifteen is progression-wise. 

But it wasn’t until writing out this piece that I realized I had it all wrong and the truth was far simpler: this is a repeat of their meeting on the balcony, albeit with higher personal stakes. Let’s take a step back here: What is happening in this scene? Fifteen and Rogue are completely missing what the other is trying to say. Fifteen ignored Rogue being visibly uncomfortable over being back to playing with masks, and Rogue is not getting if Fifteen wants him to be genuine or not. Just like on the balcony and the garden, where both sides think they’re saying one thing when it’s the opposite. Before, both parties were wrong about who they were, now both parties are wrong about what they want. 

Fifteen is saying complete bullshit here, not true stuff to their situation but stuff that their audience would react to. He’s being over the top on purpose to elicit reactions. Meanwhile Rogue is thinking he’s being genuine. He thinks Fifteen is, through code speak, trying to genuinely ask him these questions. Which leads him to get down on one knee. And that’s a big problem because Rogue doesn’t know that proposing is wading into a gargantuan trauma pool for The Doctor. This scene is a magnified example of the duo’s problem with masks and not being completely honest with each other. 

However, while this scene may have been a cause for regression from The Doctor on the relationship part, Rogue on the other hand has an epiphany. In the scene following this one, we get the truly iconic callback of “Run.” and Rogue taking the Doctor’s hand. Why is this important? Well, there are three specific examples that this moment is calling back to: 

Nine meeting Rose ("Run!")

Victorian Clara and Eleven fleeing from the Ice Governess ("I do the handgrabbing! That's my job! That's always me!")

Twelve running with River ("Stop holding my hand! People don't do that to me!")

Nine meeting Rose establishes this idea of protection: The Doctor taking care of someone by leading them away from danger. The other two examples are subversions of that idea: Clara and River are now leading The Doctor out of danger. Same principle here, except here it has a bit more context behind it. Clara and River subverting that act of protection made sense given who they were: Clara as an echo across The Doctor’s time stream knew who The Doctor was and what they needed, even if she didn’t know it consciously when the moment happened. River as The Doctor’s wife also knew who they were and what they needed at the time. 

By connecting Rogue’s action of taking Fifteen’s hand and running to Clara and River, it not only again connects Fifteen and Rogue to previous romantic relationships, but it also shows Rogue learning from his mistake. Rogue’s mistake in the proposal scene was him not figuring out what Fifteen needed at that moment, it was a major miscommunication. Now, at this moment, Rogue is starting to figure out what he needs to do. He is, to use relationship lingo, "shelving his agenda" to help the Doctor. 

And that progression continues through the last leg of the episode, including the moment when Fifteen thinks Ruby is dead. I’ve always found this moment in particular so fascinating because of how loud it is metaphorically for both characters. Fifteen is taking off the mask of coolness and revealing that Doctor™ anger. This is a complete switch-up from what he’s been like throughout most of the episode. Yet when he lets out that chilling line, “Good. That’s a long time to suffer.” Rogue doesn’t look all that scared or mad at him. 

The face Rogue makes here looks far closer to a resigned sadness, almost like he knew that he would have that reaction. Keep in mind that Rogue knows nothing about The Doctor at their worst, all that he knows right now is that they lost “everyone”. Compare that with Donna, who was outright terrified of The Doctor when at their worst (for good reason though). 

Rogue isn’t surprised by this at all. He’s not asking “What happened to this person in front of me?”, he’s realizing “This is how much he cares about his best friend.” He’s seeing the depth of this person’s love that is inexorably linked to the depth of his grief, and is realizing he can’t allow that grief to corrupt this person he’s grown to love, even if it means endangering himself. Which is exactly what ends up happening.

This is where the theme of masks finally pays off. At the beginning of the episode, both Rogue and Fifteen are wearing their masks (cold, uncaring bounty hunter, and flirtatious partygoer). Those masks started to come down, but that got messed up thanks to miscommunication. Rogue didn’t understand what The Doctor needed from him, causing their trauma to resurface and The Doctor ran away from having to deal with that grief. This final scene is them being completely honest with each other. Rogue asks him “Can you lose your friend to save the world?”, and Fifteen tells him the truth. He can’t, he can’t let that happen again. And Rogue understands that, he finally knows what needs to be done. And so he kisses him. Why did Rogue kiss him? Again, it’s a repeat of a previous scene, this time the dance. Rogue is comfortable putting on a mask/doing something dishonest when there’s an aspect of truth to it. Even if they danced together to serve a lie, it still was a moment powered by romantic feelings. Same with the kiss. Rogue had wanted to kiss him, so he felt comfortable doing something with an ulterior motive (taking the button from him) because it was also something he would’ve wanted to do regardless of the situation. 

But why did Rogue do it? The one line that I kept thinking of in summing up the intent behind Rogue's sacrifice was, ironically, from Frozen: "Love is...putting someone else's needs before yours”. Essentially, shelving your agenda, like we’ve been saying. Back in the proposal scene, Rogue’s mess up was not figuring out what Fifteen needed out of him at that moment. Fifteen needed him to play along in faking and instead, Rogue heel turned into a lot of trauma for The Doctor. So now, after seeing how important Ruby was to Fifteen, so important that he was willing to torture The Chuldur out of grief, Rogue is putting The Doctor’s needs before his own and stopping him from having to choose between her and the world. It's also why Rogue wiping away his tears before the kiss was so crazy because that's normally the Doctor's job. The Doctor is normally the one who turns sadness into hope. This time, someone else is doing that for him.

(credit to ngatwa again)

The greatest act of love in the episode was not the proposal, it was the sacrifice.

To close our tale, let us circle back to talking about Fifteen’s character arc. I opened this essay by talking about Fifteen’s main character flaw being a contradiction: both valuing emotional intimacy and running from it. That doesn’t seem to change by the end of this episode, so much so that Ruby forces Fifteen to take a moment and mourn Rogue’s loss when he wants to steamroll forward. But there’s one little detail left: Fifteen kept the ring. Not only kept it but is wearing it in the season finale to the point of even playing with it like a nervous tick. 

That bond, that relationship was so important to him that he doesn’t allow himself to ignore it. It’s only after he has that hug with Ruby that he pulls out the ring and chooses to wear it. Rogue is the one thing Fifteen won’t run away from because what they had wasn’t fake. It was real. 

Rogue, the supposed bounty hunter who only cared about wealth, loved The Doctor so much that he was willing to give up his life for his friend. The Doctor, the supposed Time Lord who flees from attachment, loves Rogue enough to remember him every day.  

I ask you, gentle readers, how could one resist a love story like that?

NOTE: some extra bits I wanted to include that I couldn’t fit anywhere else: I’m such a sucker for color symbolism, and having Rogue wear blue in contrast to Fifteen’s normally warm color palette, as well as blue being the color of The TARDIS…it just makes me feel things, ya’ know? 

Also, by not gendering Rogue’s previous partner, only ever using they/them pronouns, it helps add to the relationship in a social commentary way. It subtly shows that Rogue already has experience/is attracted to people who on some level defy gender norms, which helps prime the audience to buy Rogue accepting/liking The Doctor being able to change gender when regenerating.

Essentially, I'm insane over these two, and I need them back on screen as soon as possible.

[im-sew-curious]

There’s something wrong with me. I was so excited to see this photo. Yeah, of course, for the obvious reasons. But also because it confirmed and showcased an alteration that has been done to Taemin’s clothes so he’s less likely to split his trousers.

Taemin in his pleather pants at his Metamorph concert, 2023.

He’s got crotch gussets. Such a sexy term, I know. Basically, it’s a long triangular piece of fabric that’s stitched from the crotch down into the trouser legs. This provides some extra depth to allow for a fuller range of movement during squats, lunges, etc.

The gusset is that piece of pleather, pieced inside those red lines.

Sometimes it’s made of matching stretch fabric, and sometimes it’s the same fabric as the trousers. The width and length of the triangle can vary based on the amount of extra ease required for the specific movements. In this specific pair, the gusset is truncated at the zippered knee so there’s no point.

Jinki during the Your Number Performance Video (Black Version) showcasing a beautiful example of a gusset

During a fitting, it’s important to have the performer do all of their most extreme moves to make sure things don’t bunch or bind. Since we don’t normally get…excellent crotch shots…of Taemin, like that one, I can’t tell how common it is for him to get these gussets.

If it’s a shopped garment and not custom built (I’m assuming the Metamorph pair is custom) and they have the money, it’s possible they could purchase two pairs. They could then cannibalize one pair simply to make perfectly matching gussets.

If the trouser hem is taken up quite a bit, it may also be possible to use that fabric to make some.

It's also notable that the seams in these trousers are “flat felled.” That’s the type you typically see on jeans. It’s topstitched twice so it’s a very strong seam, which also helps to prevent split crotches.

You can see the beautifully done flat felled seams at this intersection of center front seam, front and back leg, and gussets. It's so pleasing to me!

Here's what a flat felled seam looks like. Hefty jeans seam. Big, beefy jeans seam.

Perhaps his most famous “blowout” was during the 2012 performance of Sherlock at the KBS year end music show. But he’s pretty famous for them in general.

That's just impressive

I’m not quite sure when Taemin’s styling team started incorporating crotch gussets into his costumes…my research is pretty spotty.

There is one instance during his Danger era in 2014 where he had a sort of gusset installed, however, it lacked a center front seam. This, along with the fact that his trousers were riding low, didn’t provide the correct…body geometry, to broadly explain it, to really help. It was also very wide and not tapered, which widened his whole trouser leg. It was also not stitched securely enough to keep from popping open at the center front. But this is the first attempt I've seen trying to accommodate his issues.

You can see how it lacks the refinement and finesse of the future "generations" of gussets.

There were at least two instances of Taemin splitting his trousers in 2016 at a DxDxD concert and a Drip Drop live performance. His striped DxDxD suit definitely did not have gusset, and I’m unsure about the latter. I think it’s interesting that they tried a gusset on him two years prior, then didn’t again. Except….

Taemin's gusset-less suit which he wore during Shinee's DxDxD concert in 2016, which split during the show.

All of SHINee had crotch gussets in their Your Number suits in 2016. I wrote a whole thread about that here.

So basically, I’m confused. It seems like the usage of gussets in Taemin’s trousers was very sporadic.

I haven’t seen more recent examples of either gussets or split trousers, other than the Metamorph trousers. But I haven't been able to get good views of most of the things he's worn over the last 7 years. This could mean that his team has begun to incorporate gussets into more of them, or we just don’t know about the blow-outs. Or I haven't done enough research. I got a good view of the inner legs of his blue satin suit in the Idea MV and I didn’t see anything. Same with his black Criminal trousers.

Nope?

Wearing trousers high on one’s waist and very close to their body helps a great deal. You can see that in the blue satin Idea trousers. That way, the loose fabric doesn’t stretch more than it should as the legs splay apart and cause ripping. The styling team may have made sure to do that more. It’s possible that they could have also made sure to incorporate more stretch into the trousers they buy (or possibly, occasionally, make) for him.

Taemin's Kcon look. You can see how the trousers go nearly all the way up to his "natural waist" (which is where you crease when you bend to your side.) That helps keep them up to where they need to be, preventing a saggy crotch, which, in turn, prevents rips.

Working with performers for many years, one gets to know the idiosyncrasies and patterns of the way they move in their clothing. I worked with one performer in musical theatre who was infamous for splitting his trousers. We searched for matching fabric before we even tried on his trousers for the first time, knowing he would be getting gussets.

All this is to say, I applaud the stylist team for making these accommodations for Taemin. He, more than anyone, needs these alterations to give him peace of mind to perform "full out" and stay rip free!

Here’s a bonus 9 minute compilation of Taemin ripping his trousers. Serial Pants Ripper Taemin. (Cw: The last bit is uncomfortable, featuring some prompting from hosts for Minho to touch Taemin’s butt to see if it was pointy, which was preferable to the host doing so.)