#explain me like i am five
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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a lot of people act like sqq’s main character trait is obliviousness and i could not disagree more
#it kind of always implies that binghe is being obvious about his feelings and is not the king of mixed messages#shizun i’ll quote romantic poetry at you but while hunting you thru the streets so u can’t even think about it#shizun i was just remembering how you treated me well (chokes him out)#binghe: gives him his robe when he tears sqq’s clothes after threatening to use the blood mites to bite at his organs#i could keep going#when people in the jianghu start to theorize that there’s something romantic going on they’ve had FIVE YEARS of luo binghes bullshit#to start figuring out alternative explanations to explain what he’s got going on#sqq gets like a week before he runs into binghe again and gets nearly killed for LOOKING like sqq#do you see what i am putting down#can we just be honest about the situation being complicated and sqq having to make sense of a LOT of conflicting information#this isn’t even getting into how he feels genuinely threatened by lbh being sweet bc it was a precursor to bingge planning something awful#which we get literal proof of in the punishment protocol#sqq’s got the worst case of confirmation bias
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i’m reading the traitor baru cormorant and the best way i can describe the experience is that it’s like if gideon the ninth was told from harrow’s pov. i do not know what’s happening. i need an unreliable jock narrator to gloss over all the political machinations and tell me how hot (or not) everyone is
#am i enjoying it? idk i think so but again i really don’t have a grasp on the plot#i see why the tlt girlies are all over it though#also it’s taken me over two weeks to read and it’s not even that long!#not done yet so no spoilers please but if someone wants to take pity on me and explain it like i’m five#i wouldn’t say no#baru cormorant#the traitor baru cormorant
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Okay okay okay so my thoughts are a little jumbled right now so I'm not very coherent but I need to blabber about this one element of huntlow in For the Future that's got me going off the rails. It's the way in which they both take initiative in their interactions with each other, specifically how it differs with both Willow and Hunter.
There's a bit of a vibe in a lot of huntlow content that puts emphasis on Willow's confidence and Hunter's shyness, so she's the one who talks, who flirts, who acts, who gets the ball rolling. Meanwhile, Hunter clearly reciprocates and enjoys her attention but allows her to take the lead, rather than initiate anything himself. And this interpretation is perfectly fine. It's cute!! And Thanks to Them kinda gave us the impression that it wouldn't be that unlikely.
But the scenes involving them in For the Future were SO good. As an interesting subversion of the point above, it's actually Willow who's become the more uncertain one in their dynamic. As a contrast to how she comforts Gus when he tears up, Willow is rather hands-off when it comes to Hunter. It's likely because she understands that what he needs right now is space to process his grief, but in addition to that, she might be at a complete loss on how to help him. Because what could she possibly say? Willow can promise Gus that she'll find his Dad, she can assure Camila that things with Luz will be alright, but she can't bring Flapjack back. And even at this point in the episode, this may have been adding to her steadily escalating feelings of stress and helplessness. ("I can't help my friends...")
Willow feels like she keeps fucking up when it comes to Hunter. When she allowed herself that brief moment of childish indulgence by being silly with the plants, which resulted in Hunter snapping at her? Oh the way her smile dropped and she looked utterly devastated. She must have felt so guilty, so ashamed, so frustrated with herself for being so stupid and goofing off when her friend was severely hurting. And it's not like he was wrong for saying they didn't have time for this. But in typical Willow fashion, she shoved those feelings down and put on a smile for Gus.
There's no implication of it but I wonder if she also felt like an idiot for letting her emotions get the better of her when she saw that puppet of her Dad. She put herself in harm's way, forcing Hunter to charge after her and pull her to safety. Do you think she wonders if he was annoyed by that? Maybe that was eating away at her too. She's trying to be level-headed and reliable but it seems like she keeps slipping up. And Hunter is always there to witness it.
Of course, Willow didn't stop trying. Though she may have felt a bit rejected and disliked by him at the time, Willow still made the effort to look out for Hunter in any way that she could. She suggested they go outside and keep him company while he was pacing himself into the ground. And later on, she lit up with delight when she found something that she believed would comfort him.
And then she expressed, in her typical warm Willowy way, that they loved him unconditionally. She didn't have the perfect words to make everything okay. She was just being herself. Willow took a chance with this boy she didn't know how to help and simply said what she felt, hoping it would give him some semblance of solace.
But being herself wasn't good enough. At least not in Willow's eyes. She already had fragile confidence in regards to Hunter's current opinion of her but ohhhh the deafening silence that followed after she had bared her heart to him. The way she brought him to tears, leading her to believe she had rubbed salt in the wound. The way Luz had to gently intervene to make sure he was alright and Willow felt like sinking into the floor. How Hunter's quiet little "I....don't know..." speared her through. All of those things pushing her to her breaking point. She's made everything worse. Because that's what Half-a-Witch Willow does.
Hunter's perceived opinion of her is utterly deteriorating Willow's self confidence and it's the thing that results in her self loathing inflicted descent into thorny vines. She's in denial at first, still struggling to hold it together, still insisting that she can grasp hold of some facade. The pitchy and nervous tone of voice as Hunter appears on the scene and she desperately feigns nonchalance. She knows deep down that her magic is spiralling out of control but she cannot let him know. She cannot let him see her like this. And with this added anxiety of Hunter's presence, the vines only get worse.
Meanwhile, when it comes to Hunter, he is not idle by any means. He takes a proactive role in almost all of his significant moments with Willow.
Obviously, Hunter is a protector. He shields his friends from physical harm. He's especially paranoid about them getting hurt now after what happened to Flapjack because he can't lose them too. This paranoia, in addition to his overwhelming grief and recent trauma, has made Hunter high strung and irritable. Keeping his friends alive is his priority right now. Because of this, their emotional needs and how his snappish behavior is affecting them, is understandably the furthest thing from his mind.
But once he realizes that he's hurt Willow's feelings? Oh he looks completely shattered. The way Gus runs out the door to find her and Hunter murmurs "Wait..." before he rushes after both of them, calling out their names, begging for them to come back. There's none of the hesitation that Willow demonstrates with him, only loud desperation. What does he even intend to say to Willow? Who knows. Honestly, I don't think Hunter knows either. But it's not about that. It doesn't matter if Hunter has no idea what he's gonna say once he catches up with her. What matters is that he's running after her at all. He knows one thing and it's that he has to do something.
And that's what Hunter continues to do from that point. Something.
When he finds her tangled up in her own vines, mentally and emotionally unraveling, Gus hanging in distress above their heads, he's immediately asking her to explain, concerned and alarmed. When Willow's feigned cheerful demeanour shows its cracks and the vines start to ensnare Hunter, the last thing he does before he's fully bound is take a step towards the obviously overwhelmed and frightened Willow and try to reach out for her. Again, what was he planning to do? What was he gonna say? He probably had no idea. His actions were likely instinctive. But the fact that trying to provide some form of comfort to Willow was an instinctive response from him speaks volumes about their relationship. He's not going to stand around and do nothing while she's upset. Even if he's bad with words and emotions, he's always gonna try. She's worth trying for.
Cannot stress this enough but by the time her vines begin to consume her, Willow has probably convinced herself that Hunter's high regard for her has completely plummeted. Because why wouldn't it? This is, without a doubt, Willow at her most pathetic. But during this moment of complete wretchedness and self destruction, Hunter is the one who acts.
He bursts out of the vines and bundles her up in his arms. His hands press down on her shoulders and he frantically assures her that she's not to blame for any of this and she didn't ruin anything. He eases her anxieties by vocally expressing just how much he cares about her. He begs her not to be so mean to herself. And then, with desolate eyes and a soft gentle voice, he asks if she's been holding all this in the whole time.
He wants an answer. He wants her to talk to him. He wants her to tell him what's wrong so he can try to help. He wants to listen. And he's taking the initiative to get there.
And Willow's completely stunned face upon hearing all of this shows just how overgrown her insecurities had become, leading her to become entangled in the worst possible conclusion. She was now receieving affection and loving words from none other than the boy who she fully believed had lost patience with her for constantly messing everything up. The way the first tears pricked and her mouth wobbled when that soft gentle voice expressed concern for her, seconds before the dam inevitably burst. It was all a little too much for her I think.
Also can I talk about the little finger link?? I've been dying to talk about the little finger link!!!!
Everything about how that scene is executed is so sweet to me. Willow, though she's a lot more reassured over where she stands with Hunter, is still a little unsure on how to approach this. She doesn't hold his whole hand. No, that might be a bit much. For both Hunter and herself. Let's start smaller. Less nerve racking.
Of course, if she's still so hesitant, she doesn't have to touch him at all. But she wants to. She really wants to have physical contact with him in some capacity right now, even if it's as tentative as could be. In holding his hand, Willow would be making a rather bold statement. But in linking pinkies, it's more like she's asking a question. Is this okay?
She's clearly a bit unsure. Noticeably not looking at the touch, eyes locked on her feet before she speaks. But as unsure as it is, I think she's pretty brave for doing it at all.
What gets me is that what Hunter said left such an impact on her that she was compelled to thank him. She was grateful to be told that she didn't ruin everything. She had wanted to be told that she meant something to him. Even though she wasn't aware of it, she's realized that hearing those words took a huge weight off her chest. Willow could breathe again. She could see him a little clearer now. And she would like to tell him just how much those words meant to her. Just how much he meant to her.
This is the moment where Hunter silently answers Willow's question. He's choked up, he's nervous, he's overwhelmed, but in spite of all that, he still takes initiative.
In linking their pinkies, Willow is asking Is this okay?
And when Hunter deliberately presses the back of his hand against hers, he's answering her question. It's more than okay.
Anyway Hunter being proactive in almost all of the huntlow scenes, Willow being the more nervous one between them, neither getting to the point they've gotten to if they didn't each take the lead at different moments. It was all so good.
#toh spoilers#huntlow#long post#me: not making any long posts about my ftf thoughts yet i am tired#me five minutes later:#does this even MAKE SENSE?? like do you understand the point im making???#i feel like im not explaining it thoroughly enough#im tired
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i always forget exactly how crazy this scene is.
#'your arrival here was most timely.' 'a gift.' [looks him up and down] 'how succinctly put.'#and then five like 'how am i doing at explaining your plan to you?' & the master's full of amused praise. like.#and the stakes are SO LOW.#'how do you propose to stop me?' 'i shall have to give it some thought.' 'you haven't much time.' -> perfect lead-in#to the sex that the master obv thinks they're about to be having.#doctor x master#dw
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You're allowed to be proud of yourself for achieving things that are not seen as achievements or are seen as "just the norm."
Sometimes, the achievement is reaching where others have always been, and it isn't about being normal, but about the things you have done to achieve a goal. You can celebrate and be proud no matter how "small" a feat it is
#positivity#encouragement#encouraging words#(mentioning food in the tag rant)#i'm proud of myself for trying a new food on a whim (or new as ini've never tried that specific variation of the food before)#and i'm happy with myself because this takes a lot of energy and mental space to actually do and i did it#and i'm not proud that i did a thing 'normal people' do (eating a variety of foods)...#...i am proud that i did something for myself. i am proud that i safely went out of my comfort zone#that need not me emulating the 'normal person'#forever annoyed at microwaved foods which get hot quickly and then lose that heat as you eat it#is this just a me thing because i feel like those microwave meals get cold quicker than food cooked any other way#deploying science side of tumblr to explain microwaves like i am five (lighthearted)
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i think i'm just fundamentally evil and broken ?
#went on a walk#it's so sad outside#i listened to the latest mitski album twice and i was on the verge of tears the entire time#i guess i thought time did heal old wounds but maybe ignoring and avoiding the wounds is not the same as healing them#im having thoughts and feelings that im so ashamed of#i dont feel like theres anyone i can tell this to im just afraid it'll change how they perceive me forever#im not even sure how to explain things to myself#am i normal am i wrong#all i want is to curl up into my bed and have someone take care of me#but i can't do that i need to grow up and there are things to do and i can't have everything i want always#i'll try and work on this assignement for thirty or forty five minutes or something and then ill allow myself to curl up into a ball and cr#or maybe i'll knit and watch something and get myself busy bc thats what i do#i just avoid the uncomfortable parts of myself thinking theyll go away or something#it's the greed#it's the greed.
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love the little notes I leave for myself on my wips:
#why am I watching videos about heart defects instead of just writing this thing you might ask?#I have no idea#maybe it’ll become plot relevant#ANY CARDIOLOGISTS MUTUALS ABOUT? i have questions#I wish I actually knew what I was talking about though because#I CANNOT for the life of me grasp what Julian meant about bajoran spines#HOW would bilateral vertabrae (or god forbid two spines) even work?????#someone who got a higher grade in anatomy class than I did come explain this to me like I’m five#shut up krissy
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I have confirmation that at least 5 of my teenage boys are actually reading Pride and Prejudice. Which I means I can set down the battle I’m always having in my own mind :)))) Austen wins again :)))))
#it’s more than 5 I’m pretty sure. but I have indisputable proof that five are doing it#also. one of them read lit charts but then accidentally got himself hooked#fills me with delight glee and joy#like I am so unsure of many things but that this is one of the particular ministries I am meant to have I am so certain of#that ministry being: getting teenage boys to read Jane Austen and like it#truly one of the hardest tasks there is lol#and of course I don’t succeed with all! many such cases of it not succeeding#but it is starting to change a little bit#and it’s just like. 😭😭😭😭#this is the cultural change I want to see happen in the world almost more than anything else#it means so much to me. can’t explain it. (I mean I could but)#teaching tag
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i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve
but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie
#steve rogers#mcu#anti endgame#why am i still rewriting this movie five years later#really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all#and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu#like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending#and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like#going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things#or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked#while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa#but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it#nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man#he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit#but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too#and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame#and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me#bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky#it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility#and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple#and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove
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it's been one day and im still pissed when will this end. season 4 had some neat assassination scenes but none of them shined as bright as the writers assassinating the characters like go off monarchs
#like dude#all of these characters have SO MUCH potential#and it's wasted time & time again#LUTHER MY SON why do they keep portraying him as himbo material#like sure he can be goofy and fun whatever who cares but???? it's like they keep using him for JOKES#klaus idk dude they just wanna torture him ig?#in every single season they put him in yet another traumatizing situation and for what lol#they don't even use it for character growth it's just?? angst for the sake of angst atp#ALSO STOPP LUTHER DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GR I EVE SLOANE#five...............#marvellous five writers have already talked about his character assassination and no one knows better than them ok#im just soooo tired#also LOL BENNNNN#im a ben blog AND HERE I AM SAYING NOTHING#BC WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT JENNIFER INCIDENT HUH#sparrow ben was a mistake there i said it i don't care#sparrow ben has no connection to the hargreeves !! fight me if u disagree#viktor wanting to save him and their little bonding scene where ben says 'im scared' is cute & all and was probably meant to parallel +#ben comforting viktor in s1 i if i remember correctly??#BUT THAT'S NOT EARNED u know why#bc ben <3 doesn't get <3 bonding moments <3 with <3 them <3#bc he IS right#they're not his family. his family was KILLED#they fumbled so hard with the jennifer incident im so pissed#really went & made his death so... idk how to explain#a plot device#that's all ben is#he IS a plot device#literally gets no growth whatsover#avril's ramblings
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is it also painful for some of you to be a phanny with no phanny friends? like i see people online lose the same braincells i did over some tedious, minute and toothrottingly domestic detail, and then go back to my friend group like 'hey hows it going man?'
#i am clawing my face#how do i even begin to explain to anyone how monumentally important it is for me to find a way to make it to the show#somehowwww#im aiming at amsterdam who wants to go#lowkey relieved i will not make it to the show that is in three days? huh?#like#i need to explode over spoilers alone#its a private affair in my evil layer#lair.#im tired.#its five am#what am i doing here#just to suffer?#dnp#dan and phil#dick and penis
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Wooowwwwww. Yeah I had too much fun drawing this
#I don’t know what gore looks like so I’m too nervous to post the uncensored version#but it was sooooo fun to draw ough#artie.draws#fnaf#michael afton#five nights at freddy's#OKAAAY I don’t actually know a lot about Fnaf but my friend explained some of the lore and I am obsessed with this Michael guy#actually I could post the uncensored version if people want me to#but I’m. it’s not realistic. like with the scooper. it wouldn’t look like what I drew#can you tell how nervous I am about posting this
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it's so funny when someone lies about you because people will be mean about what they heard and it's just like okay well that's not true but whatever .think what you wanna think bro
#help im actually fully over the situation#but i was just thinking about how hilarious it is how quickly people dropped me for something they didnt even bother to ask me about#like 😭😭 if youd let me explain#whatever if they cared they would've just.not made fun of me and would've let me talk for five goddamn minutes.so i don't really care anymo#i have my boyfriend and a pepsi I'm content with life and away from the person who made me want to die for months#i see a future for the first time in years.who cares if i lost some people who obviously didn't like me in the first place#gooooooddbye forever sunshine cult i am over all of you bitches#/silly
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I don’t like that I’m collecting a list of robots/ai that hate their creator
#oh let’s see#from tame to absolutely wild we got#five pebbles from rain world (he’s more like an emo teen defying parents to me) (I think his#‘hate’ is more petty annoyance or frustration that he can’t die#star dream from Kirby planet robobot never said I don’t think but cmon there’s something evil about that thing#WX-78 from Dont Starve now we start getting into some actual hate#with like actual ground evidence#WX hates wagstaff I believe and in general hates humanity#but doesn’t have the capability to do much since their in a limbo?#idk hard to explain#then there’s AM from I have no mouth an I must scream#I don’t want to explain his whole mess#like Jesus#iykyk#sprite spam#there’s probably more like maybe from Detroit become human but idk it’s been a hot minute since I’ve watched it#edit: GLADOS I FORGOT GLADOS FROM THE PORTAL SERIES#THE OBVIOUS ONE#AIGH
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My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.
#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days#like mental health dead in mariana trench#and i went to visit her because she lives like 10 minutes away and has a cat i can play with#but yesterday morning a friend of mine made a fanart (i guess i can call it that) of a fanfic i am writing for the five of them#she sent it to me and said she's also working on an actual painting on a camvas of her fave scene from my original story#and i was so surprised and exicted#that's actually a too mild description#and when i was visitting my cousin i showed her the pic of the drawing on my phone and explained it to her and she just said ....ehh..#and started texting someone#i was sitting there feeling stupid and thinking wow you could have at least praised my friend's art sytle or something#and when i was getting ready to leave she asked me if i was aware my writing has no artistic merit and fantasy is trivial literature#so i should just stop wasting time on that and focus on developing my art style more for her future poetry collections#i do the art for her book covers#and added how we already have an established writer in the family so i should focus on my role - becoming a good pharmacist#and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going#finished it off by saying she feels like what she's doing in going to be really great and important on a large scale one day#and how she wants me to continue being her shadow that follows and supports her#i left went home and started at a wall for hours#i just feel so dumb for getting excited over a silly drawing of something not more than 5 people will ever read#i genuinely hate the idea of people reading anything i write so most likely writing will just remain a hobby for me#and now i feel like the most stupid person on earth and am this close to deleting all my word documents from both my laptops
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