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queen-of-the-avengers · 6 months ago

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Harsh Reality

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~3.8k

Warnings: minor angst, being cheated on (not by bucky), fluff

Summary: You come home to surprise your boyfriend only to end up catching him with another woman in bed. Now, you have to live somewhere else. You try to move on with your new roommates but it proves to be difficult when you were never really good at the dating part of your relationships.

Square Filled: safe house (2023) for @buckybarnesbingo

One in a Million Series

Author’s Note: a while back, i announced i wanted to make a series based on the show New Girl, and i didn't want to wait around to write it. i won't be doing every episode in the seasons, and i won't be doing it word for word like i do for my rewrite. enjoy!

Your plane lands earlier than expected and the first thing you want to do is surprise your boyfriend, Jack. You left to go to a teacher’s conference in New York and have been gone for an entire week. That’s not much but it is when you consider you and Jack haven’t been apart for more than a couple of days out of the six years you’ve been with him.

You left your car with him since he didn’t have one so you took a taxi back to your apartment. You’re bouncing with giddiness and slight anxiety because you’re doing something you’ve never done before.

For those who know you, you’re not very good with the whole sexy seducing thing. Jack makes it easy for you. He takes care of everything and that includes you. Still, doing something out of your comfort zone is nerve-racking as it is exciting. Your best friend, Natasha, is on the phone while you’re in the back of the taxi wearing nothing but a brown trench coat.

“Why am I so nervous? This is a good thing, right? I mean, this is for Jack.”

“You’re not used to doing something like this but trust me, he’s going to love it.”

“Yeah, I’m just going to walk in and drop my coat on the ground. He says he had this fantasy that I'm a stripper with a heart of gold, and he's helping me put myself through college.”

“He didn't say the college part, did he?”

“Um, no, I wanted to create a three-dimensional sex character.”

“Really? What's your stripper name?”

You look at the driver who briefly looks at you. “Rebecca Johnson?”

“Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?” Natasha asks.

You can practically hear her bitch face.

“Boobies Johnson,” you quickly correct. “Two-boobs Johnson.”

“Look at you, in the back of a cab, totally naked. I am so proud of you.”

The driver pulls up to the house that you share with Jack. “I gotta go. I’m here.”

“Good luck, Two-boobs Johnson,” she chuckles.

You pay the taxi driver as you get out and walk inside your home. It’s quiet so maybe Jack is still sleeping. He’s known for sleeping in late. He doesn’t have a job because he got laid off two months ago, but he’s been doing odd jobs to keep the money coming in. That plus your teacher’s salary is enough to get by. You walk to the closed bedroom door and open it with a smile, however, that smile is lost when you come face-to-face with Jack.

He’s not sleeping. No, he’s fucking another woman. Both of them look at you with wide eyes, and Jack pushes his mistress off him as if she means nothing to him.

“Y/N! You’re home early.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“It’s not what you think.”

“I gotta go,” you whisper.

You quickly turn and run out of the house, forgoing the fact that you’re practically naked. Jack calls after you but you don’t stick around to hear what kind of lame excuse he has for you. The taxi is long gone and you don’t have the heart to call for another one, probably because your hands are shaking so much. How can he do this to you? You’ve been together for six long years.

You thought he was the one.

Natasha lives on the other side of town but you make it there sooner than you thought you would for someone who was running. She has a nice apartment overlooking the city. It was out of her price range but because she is so good with selling herself, she talked the landlord down to a price she was able to afford. She’s one of the best real estate agents this city has ever seen, so the landlord didn’t have a problem with lowering the price for her.

You knock twice on her door and she opens it with a frown.

“What happened?”

“He cheated on me,” you whisper. “I caught him with a woman in his bed.”

“Oh, babe. I’m so sorry. Come in.” She wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into her place. “I’ve never liked him.”

“Yeah, well…”

“Listen to me. I know how you are. Don’t blame yourself for this.”

“Why did he do that? Am I not attractive enough? Sexy enough? Is it my singing?”

“No, it’s not your singing,” she sighs. “Men are pigs and Jack’s true colors came through. This is all on him.”

“I wondered why he wasn’t taking my calls. I just figured he was working.”

Natasha sighs and rubs your back in comfort.

“You don’t need him, Y/N. Listen, you can stay with me until you find something else, okay?”

“No, I don’t want to impose.”

“I’m serious. It’s okay. I have the spare bedroom you can use.”

Despite her offer, you don’t want to worm your way into her life. She’s active on dating sites which means she brings home guys left and right. She lives alone and you remember what it was like to have someone invade your space like this. It’s why that night, you go online to see if there is anyone who is looking for roommates.

You shouldn’t go on sites like Craiglist when it comes to living somewhere, but you don’t make a lot of money as a teacher. If you were to go through an agency or even on Facebook, you wouldn’t find something cheap. You scroll through the obvious trolls until you get to one ad for an apartment downtown.

Four bedrooms. Open floor plan. It’s a loft of sorts. There are three women there looking for a fourth, and you think this is what you need to make a new start. You’re afraid if you slow down, you’ll be forced to think about your ruined relationship with Jack. You’ve never been cheated on so the betrayal hurts that much more. You gave him six years of your life and now…

What are you going to do?

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you respond to the ad that you’re interested and go to bed.

Tomorrow morning, you wake up to seven missed phone calls from Jack and over twenty messages, but you ignore them and get ready. Natasha is eating breakfast in the kitchen already dressed to show a house.

“Have a house to sell?”

“Yeah. I’ll be gone most of the day.”

“I might have found an apartment.”

“What?”

“I saw an ad on Craigslist. I know it’s not ideal, but I’m going over to them right now. It’s three women looking for a fourth roommate for their loft.” You see the look on Natasha’s face and sigh. “I need something to do Nat, otherwise all I’ll do is cry.”

“Okay. Call me if you need me.”

“I will,” you smile.

You get dressed and head over to the apartment downtown. You knock on their door and freeze when a man with a metal arm opens the door. Two men, one blonde and one muscular, stand behind him, and you look confused when you don’t see any women.

“Are you Y/N?” the man at the door asks.

“Yeah. I’m here for the apartment listing if you’ll still have me.”

“Nonsense. Come in,” the blonde one smiles.

You walk in and look at the loft, already liking what you see. You don’t care that you assumed it was women and they’re men, you just need a new place to live. As much as you love Natasha, that’s her space and you don’t want to intrude. Plus, you don’t want to feel like a charity.

“My name is Y/N, but you already know that from the ad,” you say nervously.

“I’m Steve and this is Thor and that is Bucky.”

“Cool metal arm you have. I’ve never seen that before.”

“Thanks,” he mutters.

When you get nervous, you get chatty, and these three men make you hella nervous. It’s not that they’re intimidating or mean, but you’ve never lived with three guys at once. The only man you’ve ever lived with was Jack, and even sometimes that was too much. So, you start by telling them more than what they want to know.

“So, you know in horror movies when the girls are like, ‘Oh my God, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark.’ and you're like, ‘What is your problem? Call the police.’ and she's like ‘Okay’ but it's too late because she's already getting murdered? Well, my story's kind of like that.” You tell them everything from Jack cheating on you to not wanting to live with your best friend and invading her privacy. “So, that happened. That's why I need a new apartment. I'm sorry, what was the question again?”

“Do you have any pets?” Bucky asks.

“No, I don’t,” you chuckle and stand up. “This place is beautiful. It gets so much light. Jack hated light. It's hard to say his name.”

“It's okay. Bucky knows. He got dumped,” Steve says.

“Dude,” Bcuky hisses.

The place doesn’t look fancy but it’s new and it can be the start of a new chapter if they let you.

“You know what, I want to live here,” you grin.

“Actually, I still have some questions,” Bucky says. “No offense, but we barely know ya.”

“Yeah, okay. Full disclosure, I'm kind of emotional right now because of the breakup so I'll probably be watching Dirty Dancing at least six or seven times... a day.” Thor shakes his head but doesn’t say anything to that. “Um, I'm a teacher so I bring home a lot of popsicle sticks and arts and crafts. Also, I like to sing to myself… a lot.” You start to sing. “A lot.” You sigh. “I don’t want to live with my friend. I hate feeling like a charity case even though she doesn't mean to treat me that way.”

“If you’ll excuse us, we’re going to talk in private,” Steve says.

All three men go into the bathroom while you take the opportunity to look around.

“I think it’d be good to have a woman in here,” Steve says. “It’s good to have a woman’s touch in here.”

“No, all she’s going to do is disrupt our vibe,” Thor argues.

“Bucky? What do you think?”

“Well, I’ve lived with a woman before so I know there are pros and real cons. For one, they smell good but their girly shit will start to be everywhere. Um, they’re good at folding.”

“Okay, we’re not going to come to a conclusion but I’ll take Bucky’s indecisive for a yes. She’s in!”

“Yay, I’m in!” you say from outside the door. Steve chuckles and opens the bathroom door, and you smile at all three men. “You won’t regret this.”

Natasha was weary about you moving into a place with three strange men but you need this. It didn’t take long for you to move in since you didn’t take much from your old place, so the reality of your situation comes crashing down around you the second you get a bit of breathing room. Dirty Dancing plays on the TV for the third time, and you’re lying on the couch surrounded by used tissues and a few of your boxes. Natasha must have called your mom because she immediately called you, worried about living with three strange men.

“I’m fine, mom. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Baby, you and Jack broke up. Of course, I’m going to worry about you. You’re not watching Dirty Dancing, are you?”

“No, I’m not watching Dirty Dancing,” you mutter.

“Did you make sure those men aren’t murderers? You know how badly I stress Stranger Danger. You’re my baby, Y/N.”

Just then, Bucky walks into the room.

“Hey, are you gonna murder me 'cause you're a stranger I met on the internet?”

“Yes, I am,” he says without looking at you.

“He says no,” you say to your mom. Thor and Steve walk in, having just come from the gym. “I gotta go, mom. I love you.”

“So, the biggest party of the year is on Saturday. I'm trying to get us in but you may need to call Sharon,” Steve says to Bucky.

“I’m not calling Sharon.”

“Hear me out, Buck.”

Before Bucky can say anything, you sob as another wave of depression hits you. All three men look at you and huddle around each other, not sure how to handle this. They haven’t lived with a woman in years, and Bucky slaps his hand on Steve’s chest.

“You did this. You wanted her in. You fix it.”

“Okay, I got it.” Steve walks over to you and sits on the edge of the couch. “Hey, Y/N. Are you doing alright?”

“I’m fine,” you sniffle.

“Why don’t we turn off the movie, okay?” Steve takes the remote from you and turns off the movie. “Come on, sit up.” You do and he smiles kindly at you. “See? Doesn’t that feel a bit better?”

“Not really.”

“Look, I was cheated on before. It wasn’t fun. In fact, it felt a bit shitty. I don’t know you that well but I know you didn’t deserve it. Look, there’s this party on Saturday, and you need to get your mind off your ex. It’ll be fun. You’ll go out, meet some people, have a few drinks, and forget all about him. Sounds good?”

“Yeah, I guess that doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Good,” he smiles. “Now, why don’t you get dressed? Bucky works at a bar. We’ll go out for a few drinks and maybe get you a rebound.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

You get off the couch and trudge to the bathroom to shower.

“This is all hinging on actually getting into the party,” Thor says.

“Buck, come on. You don’t even have to see her. Just call her and ask her to get us on the list.”

Bucky walks into the bathroom just to get away from Steve but the latter follows him in.

“There’s someone in here,” you say when you hear them entering the bathroom.

“We're leaving in ten minutes, did you shave your legs?” Steve asks.

“I will now.”

“Front and backs?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you.” Steve looks at Bucky. “Just call Sharon. You call her all the time when you're drunk.”

“No, I don’t. Shut up.”

You shave your legs and finish with the rest of your shower. Luckily, the boys have taken their conversation outside of the bathroom. You wonder what the deal is with Bucky and Sharon. How did things end? Based on his refusal to call her, you assume it ended badly. Will you be like this with Jack?

Like Steve said, you all leave ten minutes later to the bar Bucky works at. Bars aren’t usually your scene but you really want this to be a fresh start. You haven’t flirted with or been on a date with someone in six years. Everything was reserved for Jack. You’re not even sure if you have it in you to find a rebound. If you can’t be sexy well, how can you expect to capture a stranger’s attention?

All it takes is one bad experience to ruin potential future ones. Bucky, Steve, and Thor watch you try to flirt with men but each one fails. You’re either too weird, too loud, sing too much, or too awkward. After about six tries, you sit at the bar with a defeated look. Bucky walks over to you and slides you a pink wine, your poison of choice.

“Well, I guess I can't hide my crazy,” you sigh.

“I don't think you're trying that hard.”

“I've never been great at this stuff, so…” You look up and muster a smile. “Looks at us, a couple of losers. We both got dumped, jeesh.”

“I’m fine,” he says. “It was six months ago.”

“Do you know why she dumped you? I mean she must've hurt you pretty bad.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he sighs.

“Aren’t you always wondering, like, what it was? Like, was there something you could have done differently?” He shales his head wordlessly. “Do you know what happens to people who keep it all inside? They get old and they get sad and they get weird and then you're the old man yelling at the kids who are running across your yard and you're telling them, 'Don't run across my yard. My life's full of regret'. You can't just pretend like it didn't happen.”

“Or I could pretend to be more like you, Y/N, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.”

“Yeah, I think you should sing all the time,” you giggle.

“No, I was being mean, I'm not gonna do that, Y/N.”

“Why not? It’s fun!”

“Because I have a dick, Y/N.”

“I’ll get you to sing one of these days,” you chuckle.

One of Steve’s friends comes up to the bar and smiles flirtatiously at you, and Bucky backs up to give you some space. He watches you smile at the man, and he looks down in thought. If you can try and move on, he can, too. He takes out his phone and dials Sharon’s number before walking away to take the call.

“So, I was going to go to the party this Saturday, but I’d rather take you out if you’re interested,” he says.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you smile.

“Great. Maybe we can go to dinner first.”

“Sure. Let me put my number in your phone.” The man hands over his phone, you put your number in, and you call yourself so you have his number. “I’ll text you, okay?”

“Sounds good,” he smirks and winks. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

“Y/N,” you smile.

Looks like you scored a date and you weren't weird at all. The high of getting a date wears off an hour before you have to leave for it. You’re stuck in your room, wondering what to wear. What would be sexy enough? Should you be sexy? Cute? Casual?

God, what am I doing?

Natasha comes over to help as soon as you text her, and all three of your roommates are shocked into silence, more so Steve than the others. She’s beautiful and has guys hanging off her arm. She’s well known, her picture is on billboards across the city. She’s not shy about her appearance, and this is one of those times. Thor and Bucky look at each other when they notice Steve staring with a smile on his face.

“Natasha. Do you go by Nat?”

“Only to my friends.”

“Cool,” he nods. “I’m Steve.”

“Y/N, do you need my help?” she calls out.

There is a thump followed by a yelp. “I’m okay.” She gets up and walks to your bedroom to see you lying on the ground like a starfish. “I tripped on my heels.”

“Okay, sit up.”

You sigh and do as you’re told. “What am I doing? I can't go on a date. What if it's horrible? What if I have nothing to talk about?”

“Then you go to the bathroom, you call me, and you tell me all about it.”

“Maybe I just shouldn't go.”

“Babe, you got hurt. That doesn't mean you stop trying. Okay?”

She has a point. Some might think it’s quick how fast you’re trying to move on, but you can’t slow down. If you do, you fear that you’ll never stop crying. With Natasha’s help, you dress in a short black dress that’s classy but still covers everything. You two walk out, and all three men look at you in surprise. Bucky leans his elbows on his knees and rubs his hands together. Thor and Steve smirk at each other, already in tune with what Bucky is thinking.

“Wow. You look amazing,” Bucky says.

“Thank you,” you blush. “I’m kind of nervous but also kind of excited. I’m going to text him and tell him I’m heading over.”

“Wait, have you been texting him?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah, is that bad?”

“No.” He smiles slightly. “It’s nice. Have a good night.”

“This is going to be great,” you grin.

Natasha drives you to the restaurant, and you grab a table since Peter isn’t here yet. You’re a bit early, anyway, so you don’t mind the wait.

Sharon is able to get all three men on the list at the party since she knows the owner. Thor, Bucky, and Steve arrive at the party which has a bunch of people outside waiting to get in. They’re in line when Bucky notices a few of Steve’s friends, including Peter. They spot Steve and head over immediately.

Bucky frowns when he doesn’t see you.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Oh, dude, she texted me like seven times. Like long ones. I just wanna hook up.”

“So, is she waiting for you to show up or did you call her?”

“Yeah, that's what I did, I called her,” he laughs.

Peter and his friend head inside but Bucky stays where he is. Thor is about to go in when he notices his friends not following him.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t go inside, man.”

“What do you mean?”

Bucky shakes his head, turns, and jogs away from the party with Steve. Thor’s been looking forward to this party, but he understands that you need them more. He sighs and runs to catch up with his friends.

After thirty minutes of not showing, you know Peter won’t be here. You’re the only table in the restaurant without food except for the free bread they give out. You sigh sadly and look down at your lap, picking apart the bread. You look up when you hear footsteps head your way. Oh, it’s only a waitress.

“Do you have anything else that is free, but also has bread in it because the good bread I ate and uh, all that's left is a… it's like a… it's kind of like a health bread?”

“I'm sorry. We're gonna have to ask you to give up the table.”

“Um, can I please just stay, just a little bit longer?” you ask in a small voice.

“We’re here!” You look behind her to see Thor, Bucky, and Steve enter the restaurant. “Yup, we’re here, Y/N!”

Seeing them is ten times better than seeing Peter.

“We're here for the date thing,” Steve says.

“You're all here for the date?” the waitress asks, shocked.

“Yeah, we are. We're her boyfriends. We are reversed Mormons. One man just isn't enough for her,” Bucky says.

“Okay,” the waitress sighs and walks away.

Now that she’s gone, you look down in sadness. The reality of being stood up weighs heavily on your shoulders.

“Hey, Y/n, that guy was a jerk. You don’t deserve him.”

“You guys missed your party to come here to see me?” you ask and look into his eyes.

“Yeah, we care about you. We like you.”

“That’s so nice,” you sniffle with a smile.

You’ve only met these guys, but you know that moving in with them is one of the best things you could have done for yourself.

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

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bnnysweets · 1 month ago

Note

i’m thinking older abby literally not letting R get away with shit, like not eating or not sleeping enough

SAFE HAVEN

older!abby x fem!reader

author’s note: you’re totally right anon! she’s so dominant omg my legs are weak. i didn’t know if u meant abby being mean or comforting reader, so i made both! (mean abby here). i had a lot of fun with this bc i study more than 12 hours a day n i don’t have time for NOTHING. english is not my first language.

warnings: reader has a stressful week, abby is concerned ‘bout her health. reader is called miss, baby, sweet girl.

“i’m so fucking tired.” it was the first thing you said when you arrived to her house, “well, hello to you too, little miss always tired.” she hugged you and helped with your bags, “i’m being serious! this week was like a truck with elephants ran over me.” you groaned when you finally were barefoot and your backpack was on the floor and not on your back, “i know you’re being serious, sweetie, i just think you funny like this, you get so needy.” you laugh a little in disbelief, “yeah i’m in need of propers meals and sleep, you know how long is since i’ve spent a entire day without migraine? yeah like four whole months.” you said and went to sit at the couch, abby still standing in the front door absorbing the things you said, she walked slowly and you could feel that she was angry.

“so are you telling me that you aren’t eating and sleeping appropriately? babe did you lost your damn mind? how the hell you’re gonna focus in your class if you don’t give your body energy?” she said in a calm tone but it was clear her concern and how furious she was, you stayed silent while she continued to walk until she was in front of you “you can’t just don’t eat or eat junk, you need to eat real food and, oh my god, how are you alive without sleeping enough? you know how irresponsible that is?” she was walking back and forth and you were starting to feel guilty, you didn’t know that abby really cared that much about you, “i just don’t have time abby…” you said quietly, “but why you didn’t told me that?! why?! you’re my girlfriend, you’re my priority, your well being one of my biggest concerns.”, “i’m sorry abby.” you said feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, “you don’t own apologies to me, you own to yourself, when you treat yourself like this you degrade yourself, it’s not fair, i know how hard you try to accomplish your goals, and i know how much you study and work, but i need you to take care of yourself, and not because i want to, but because you deserve it.” abby was crouched in front of you, holding your hands, she was not really angry maybe just a bit she was just concerned ‘bout you. “i need you, but above that i need you to be healthy.” she kissed your hands and looked at yours, now, wet eyes, “im just so tired abby, all the time, i always have something to do, and its so much pressure, and it’s from myself, i’m the one making pressure on me, i’m sorry, i’m gonna try to keep a healthier routine, but i just need comfort right now”. after you said that abby hugged you, she scooped you into her lap, you two stayed like this for a bit.

“i’m so proud of you, you know that? i truly am, you’re the most hardworking person i’ve ever met, you deserve to all your wishes come true. i’m proud of you regardless your grades, you’re a lot more than a number.” abby whispered into your ear, your head was on her neck and it had been so many days since you last felt this way, secure, in your safe space. “i love you” you mumbled, “i love you too, sweet girl.” and you slept like that, above her body, hugging her, abby was admiring you, how peaceful you were, and she was thinking what she would cook for you in the next day to guarantee that you wouldn’t be anemic by the end of the year.

#⟢𓈒 bnnysweets˚ ·#ಿৎbibi writes #ᕱanonsᕱ #୨abby anderson୧ #꒰ older!abby ꒱#older!abby #abby anderson #abby tlou #older!abby x fem!reader #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader #abby x y/n #abby x you #abby fluff #tlou #wlw #lesbian

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mockerycrow · 4 months ago

Text

REWRITTEN: Undercover I (Soap x GN!Reader)

undercover masterlist | next (original)

summary; you’re apart of an undercover joint task force between the CIA and MI6, meant to infiltrate Makarov’s ranks. Your mission is thrown out the window when Makarov finds you out, and the 141 takes you in for interrogation after finding you half dead.

A/N: THIS IS REWRITTEN! I’m rewriting it all, major plot points aren’t really changing but I kept rereading my work and I hated it. please enjoy new and improved undercover. 3k words.

[warnings; gore, description of injuries, descriptions of torture, near death experience(s), waterboarding, medical and military inaccuracies. watch out for pov switches.]

Everything fell apart due to the intense lack of communication; something anyone could’ve seen coming from a thousand miles away. Information staying classified, secret—it was a death sentence the second more eyes landed on Him. Maybe the death sentence was written into existence the moment I breathed in the air in that conference room where my teammates sat. We’re the guys they call for the dirtiest work they need to get done; it isn’t something I’m proud of, of course.. Not when your death has been faked numerous times, stitching together new stories and burying your old ones. To an extent, I wish it wasn’t like this, living in a world where this type of work is necessary, but humans are inherently violent and animalistic.

Someone would’ve started this cycle eventually.

You curate a mask to wear so perfect you find yourself believing your own lie. The shit you make up sticks with you, too. The stuff you end up doing as a result never leaves, either. Imagine making up an entirely new life and living it for years only for a tiny slip up to break the new reality you’ve been living. Having to break genuine bonds, having to disappear on people you knew you were using, but sometimes cared about? It hurts more than I like to acknowledge. You get used to the guilt in your gut and the blood coating your hands, the red puddling at your feet. Sometimes, you can’t tell whose it is. Yours? Theirs? The innocent kid who got too involved? It all feels the same at the end of the day.

Most people lose themselves in their lies like I said, but not me. I know exactly who I am.

One one hand, I’m Zhenya Antonenko; one of Makarov’s most trusted right hands. Zhenya, a big brother with an unstable past and a bloody trail following me.

On the other hand, I’m myself. Just me, myself, and I.

I only have myself, except for my Captain, the only person I’ve properly trusted for a couple of years now; can you blame me when you’ve lost so many people to the mission? Whether from discovery leading to death, or legitimately believing the lies you’ve been spewing to yourself? Nobody understands having to gun a person down you started out with just to keep yourself safe; keeping the operation safe.. Because the mission comes first.

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful who we pretend to be.”

“..status?” “...alive…..”

Searing pain—deep aching pain. Rough, calloused, careless hands—

“...one of his—...” Fuck. That accent; it’s not Russian. Not Slavic at all in general.

It’s Scottish. What the fuck? Did I fuck up?

You’re in terrible shape; critical condition. Soap wishes he didn’t have to untie you and tend to your wounds; you’re one of his. You deserve the slow, painful death your injuries would bring onto you.

His gloved fingers wedge themselves into the knots of the rope tied around your wrists. It’s a little slippery; the rope is stained with your blood, either from your wrists due to struggling or any of your pre-existing injuries. You’re alive, barely—but they have to act fast if they wanna keep you alive. Your skin is visibly.. Off; lacking its usual color, maybe. You’re shivering in the chair, your clothes soaked in freezing water, mixing with the blood already embedded into the fabric. Price is untying the ropes around your ankles.

“Alright,” Price gruffs out, his voice low and rough. “Grab ‘em. Off to the truck.”

Soap hooks his arms under your armpits as Price grabs your limp legs, both men grunting quietly as they lift you. They shuffle together in tandem, working their way to the truck in the back of the warehouse. The truck is running as Gaz opens the backdoor for Soap and Price to shove you in there. Soap steps up onto the truck and sits in the backseat, dragging your body inside with him. He takes the opportunity to assess your wounds in a surface level manner first. Soap almost grimaces—almost.

Your lips are parted ever so slightly, the skin chapped and a light layer of dried blood on them, dried so much that it would flake off if you tried to rub them together. The blood is likely from you biting your tongue, or the fact that your top lip on the right side is split open so badly you need stitches, or perhaps from the fact that your nose is broken. The structure of your nose is noticeably out of place and there is blood trailing down your lips and chin, thick and dried droplets down the front of your already ruined shirt. The left side of your jaw, near the hinge—swollen and out of place. Torn, maybe? Broken? Fractured? All possibilities. Your left eye is swollen shut, your left eyebrow split open, too. Like you got your face smashed, but they somehow managed to mostly hit your left side over and over.

“Wonder what the bastard had to do to earn all that.” Soap mutters, his voice low with a slight bite to his tone. He leaves you untied; if you woke up, he’s sure you’d immediately slip into shock. You’re not a threat, not in the state you’re in. Soap watches you struggle to breathe; labored and uneven. It almost is similar to agonal breathing, something the body does in a desperate attempt for a proper source of oxygen. Maybe some of your ribs are broken. His eye’s trail your abdomen—the red seems to spread, dribbling onto the seats below your body, slicking his skin. Soap tugs up your shirt, and he swears under his breath from the gaping wounds in your belly, his hands reaching down to apply pressure.

Price is about to comment, catching sight of the stab wounds when Ghost exits the warehouse with a couple of documents—a laptop, a thumb drive. All items that were left behind. “Seems like they didn’t see us comin’.” Ghost utters, his voice rough as he stuffs the items into a backpack left in the bed of the truck. “Makarov was here.”

You could hear a pin drop in the silence that followed; your struggle to breathe breaking the silence. You gasp, almost like a gurgle, reminding them of their finds; documents, technology, and you.

…Am I dead?

Is this Hell? Did Makarov finally end me? ..It’s funny, really. I thought I would’ve died from—

Oh, welcome back.

I feel heavy as I suddenly come to, like I’ve been drugged. My tongue is dry and heavy in my mouth and it almost feels too big. Tastes like metal.. Blood. I barely manage to lick my lips which I immediately regret, my cotton like tongue swiping over the split in my lip, lighting up my nerves—however, I don’t have the energy to properly react to the tingling pain. My head feels… full, like there’s pressure. My thoughts are.. Fuzzy, almost. As if there’s something in my skull, blocking them. My ears are ringing, and fuck, it feels like someone is bashing the inside of my head with a metal baseball bat. Ironic.

I feel so incredibly heavy, my limbs comparable to anvils. The fucking pain crawls up my back and into my nerves as I wriggle my fingers, fuck, fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck fu—

“They’re awake.” Utters a gritty, low voice, borderline baritone; British. I manage to open my right eye as my left.. Is seemingly swollen shut, but I regret it from the corneal pain as I close my eye again, the luminescent light above us burning deep into my eye.

A gloved hand roughly grabs my jaw, which fucking hurts. Something is seriously wrong with my jaw, the ache is fucking terrible feels bone deep. I look up, a looming figure over me. My eye refuses to focus for a moment, but I can tell the guy is wearing a mask, a vest—a rifle. I blink languidly and—oh. In front of me, stands a large man; broad shoulders, stocky. A wide chest, and a pair of eyes that make me wanna curl in on myself. He’s staring down at me as if I’m Makarov himself. Big and brown, empty…

I can tell that he is not a man Makarov has worked with before. Who is he?

I shakily inhale and I shut my eye as his fingers dig into my jaw, causing me more pain and nausea bubbling up from it. Fuck.

“Zhenya Antonenko.” His voice is full of venom, deep and gritty. He’s mocking me—he’s British. I hiss softly as he finally lets go of my jaw, and he holds up my I.D., my fake I.D.. I look at the man in front of me, who is wearing some sort of skull balaclava mask thing. I wanna stay in character, spit or curse or something, but the pain in my mouth is enough to keep me silent as well as the exhaustion. My head tilts forward, my neck incredibly sore and aching. His fingers push under my chin, bringing my head back up. “You’ve worked for Makarov for years, yeah? Makes me wonder what you did to make the man leave you behind.. Bloody and beaten, no doubt.”

I don’t respond—of course I don’t, there’s no reason for me to. I gotta keep up my mask, y’know? It fucking sucks, having to keep the act up, but I don’t know what could happen to the operation if I let it slip. Ugh.. maybe I fucked it all up anyway, considering Makarov found me out. The guy in front of me looks like he wants to tear me apart, limb from limb. Huh. I survived Makarov’s torture.. I’m sure I can survive his.

I want to throw up, despite not having anything in my stomach. My head is reeling and fuck, I just.. I’m aching so badly. Every sensation is blending together.

My head whips to the side with a blooming, stinging sensation against my cheek—He slapped me. “Pay attention.” The man hisses—Skull-face, I deem him in the moment. I blink and I turn my head to face Skull-face as he walks over to a tray nearby, his boots heavy against the ground. The door behind him opens, my eyes flickering over to it and three more men walk in. Shit.

The first man I see is young, tall; he has dark skin and even darker eyes; brown, I think. There’s a small atrophic scar under his eye. His shoulders are wide but nearly as bulky as Skull-face’s; he’s definitely well built. I watch him cross his arms across his chest. My gaze flickers to the next man that catches my eye—he’s also tall and built, maybe a bit beefy. He’s pale with brunette hair and… mutton chops? Odd choice.. But alright.. Mutton-chops is leaning against the wall of whatever this room is. His eyes are trained on me like a cat who is hunting. It makes me shudder a little bit. The last guy I see; a bit shorter than the others, but he isn’t lacking any muscle. Thick forearms, for sure. He’s pale, brown hair and blue eyes, mohawk. Pfft, mohawk.. Who has a mohawk these days?

I flinch as Skull-face pats my jaw to get me to pay attention, making me hiss as he purposely chooses the bad side. God, it has to be swollen by this point.

I can barely think.. Jesus.

“I’m only repeatin’ myself once, y’hear? You’ll know what Hell truly feels like, you only got a taste with Makarov.” Skull-face threatens. I swallow harshly; I can’t afford another beating, or whatever this fucker has planned in case I don’t follow the rules. I already feel so light headed and dizzy. Hesitantly. I nod as a response instead of using words. “Why don’t y’tell us what Makarov was doin’ in that warehouse, hm?” He utters, glancing over to a tray and picking up a few papers—the text that I can make out, they look vaguely familiar. Must’ve been documents they grabbed from the warehouse. I wheeze a little, wincing, my chest spasming. Fuck.

He waits for a response. I swallow again, my eye fluttering as I utter out, “I took an oath.” Weakly. I feel a bead of sweat drop down from my temple, down the side of my face. I’m sweating from pain, that deep ache in my ribs, in my jaw—everywhere, honestly. I don’t know what doesn’t hurt by this point. “An oath.” Skull-face murmurs, almost as if he’s amused but I hear no humor in his tone. He walks closer towards me as he sifts through the documents in his gloved hands. “An oath for a terrorist.”

I see the way his eye twitches when he looks at me; to be fair, all I can see is his eyes but folks say the eyes are the road to the soul, right? And what his eyes are telling me right now is that he’s holding himself back from wrecking my shit further. I glance away for a moment, but he shoves the documents in front of my face, all typed up in Russian. “Y’know what this is?”

My eyes scan the paper, recognizing it—”It’s Makarov’s plans, his plans on how he will slaughter entire cities with the biological weapons he’s trying to get his bloody hands on.” Skull-face gruffs out. His throat is tight, I can tell he’s furious.

I know what the plan is—I’ve read those exact papers several times myself. I’m more shocked by the fact that they know that he was searching to get his hands on weapons like that in the first place. My head buzzes as I shift my eyes to Skull-face, who is staring at me as if he’s expecting an answer out of me.

I swear to God my vision whites out when he lifts my fucking shirt and opens the shitty stitches across my stomach—

Hot liquid spills from my belly and immediately soaks the spandex of the waist band to my pants, choking and wheezy noises leave my throat as I reel from the fucking pain. God, the pain.. My eyesight blurs back into colors, but no focus yet. I gasp quietly, trying to get a hold on my pain. However, Skull-face doesn’t give me a chance as he viciously grabs my jaw again, squeezing so harshly my lips part and my jaw feels like it’s being ripped out of its hinges. “My deal is simple. Fill in the obviously missin’ gaps, an’ we’ll let the medics work on ya.”

I try to get a steady breathing pace again, breathing through the pain. I close my eye, my throat bobbing as I swallow. “I have nothing to say to you.”

Someone grunts and walks towards me—more like stomps towards me, so I naturally open my unswollen eye only to see Mohawk seething in front of me. “Y’dont seem to understand the situation yer in. Do you understand that you fell for a trap?”

Mohawk grabs the front of my soaked shirt—tears, blood, water and whatever else—as he barks in front of my face. I struggle to focus on his face—rugged and young, sporting some light stubble with an atrophic scar across his chin. His jaw is strong and so is his nose. His eyes—blue and fierce.

He wants to kill me. I can tell. I don’t blame him.

I wince as he tugs on the front of my shirt, peeling it from the open wound on my stomach. I feel sick. “Makarov does not care for you!” Tell me something I don’t know..

I’ve known that since the beginning. He doesn’t care for anyone, not really. We were always just pawns to him. Everyone is.

I must’ve spaced out again because I snap back to reality when something squeaky is rolled into the room. I lift my head—oh fuck. Mutton-chops has a big bowl of water on a cart, wheeling it closer. “I told ya, I wouldn’t repeat myself.” Skull-face gruffs out and my heart drops to my fucking stomach, my eyes widening. Someone must’ve noticed the change in me because I hear someone laugh. My leg kicks out instinctively when the cart is rolled closer—That one guy, the basic dude, scar on his cheek, his hands shoot out and hold down my leg.

I barely get enough time to react before a hand is grabbing a chunk of my hair and forcing my face into the water. I struggle against my binds, against the hands on me, against the fucking bowl of water that’s against my face. I fight and fight, my wrists screaming for relief as I give myself rope burn because I’m fucking drowning, I’m fucking drowning, I’m gonna die and it’s all going to be for nothing—

My head is ripped out of water, making me gasp and choke, spitting out water that I inhaled. The dread from the feeling of drowning remains as I sputter and wheeze, the water running down my face and neck, soaking the neckline of my already damp shirt.

Fuck, I’m gonna die. I’m gonna fucking die.

I keep gasping for air, trying to level out my breathing. I feel exhausted, all of the fight in my soul having already left my body. My limbs feel heavy, like there’s weights tied to them like before. My vision is blurry as I lift my head, looking at the three men in front of me. I have to bite back an angry laugh because I know they’re just going to stand there and watch me die. Maybe they’ll resuscitate me like Makarov did—just to remind me how much power they have over me right now.

Makarov.. He held me under the ice cold water until I passed out. I don’t know what happened after that, I don’t know how long he left me like that or if he left me like that at all. All I remember is being on my back on the cold concrete below me, my hands remaining tied behind my back as I sputtered water out of my throat and nearly inhaling it back in.

He did it more than once to me. I don’t know how many times. Maybe it’s the brain damage making me forget.

Fuck. I don’t know. I just don’t fucking know.

My head falls forward as my vision is filled with black dots, and then—I’m out, water dripping off of my chin and face, my pants wet with my blood from my stomach.

🏷️; @hardnutpost @glitterypirateduck @elowynnlane @boycigs @wolfyland07 @escapefromrealitysm @tapioca-marzipan @cj-theyoungling @fullmoon-94 @gothgirl6-6-6 @thriving-n-jiving @paniniii @calloumii @the-spartan-himself @bi-witch-bxtch @dammn-dean @jinxxangel13 @meimhem @hannathetrololol-blog @kool-aidd @aliendous @roarndoodles @supernaturalstilinski @blob-11 @cumbermovels @jisungfanpage @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @p3achfairy @darling006 @nyushkawritesstuff @pepsicolacoochie

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blushydiorrb · 1 year ago

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BY blushydior

HOW I CHANGED MY LIFE WITH THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION

note: post inspired by @cinefairy (´͈ ᵕ `͈) ♡°◌̊ + brief mentions of sensitive topics

♡┊ my life before:

i dealt with immense abuse and toxicity. the whole works. i was in foster care, constantly traveling to different countries. i’ve been depressed and suicidal, failed attempt after attempt since i was 7. traveled city to city during hs to sleep, had to look for shelter at 19 because the abuse got too much, having to take care of children all my life & never having time to live for myself — it was for as long as i could remember to the point where feeling numb, empty, sad & hopeless was the normal to me. i was confident in myself, ill give myself that; only because ever since i was little i dreamt big. but that kept being pushed away the more i dealt with my circumstances. but i just knew— something inside me was telling me that i was special. after finding out loa, slump after slump, i did it. i never gave up. and im proud that i never did.

even after i renewed this blog, i had still been dealing with depression and was hospitalized for it but i. did. it. im here living my dream life and you can be too.

♡┊ my life now:

i have: financial freedom, my desired appearance from head to toe, buying the most luxurious houses in my desired states/cities, revised my name, semi socialite, model, elevated my interests into talents such as painting, drawing, singing, dancing, film, edit, writing, photography, i now own multiple businesses, a soon to be author, amazing intelligence, fluent in multiple languages, martial arts, desired friends, always being safe, friends with a few of my fave celebs, spoiling my nieces & nephews, and a dream bf literally as all of my favorite book boyfriends combined. he’s perfect. + so much more.

i still can’t process this sometimes but i seriously made myself the dream girl my younger self always knew was in me.

♡┊ how i did it:

simplified the law. made my own rules. decided what my new story was. left the old one to die out and most importantly: took it easy on myself. i was doing my best to live my dream life because i knew it was possible. so why be so hard on myself?

it took some time at first considering my circumstances but thats why we persist, my love. affirming and persisting. never giving up. kept the faith. that’s it. it didn’t take longer than a month!

💌 ┊ my note to everyone:

you can do it. it’s possible. and you deserve to live your dream life. it’s okay to have doubts, it’s okay to question yourself, the law, etc. what’s important is that you GET UP, be gentle and kind to yourself. i stg you better be nice to urself… 😤👹 and persist.

i love you, i love you, i love you. blushydior loves you!!!! so much. and is giving the warmest and tightest hugs to everyone who is reading thus far. it was a heavy topic considering how much of a private person i am but i had to make it. thank you for reading. it means so much to me. - 🧸

special thank you, hugs & kisses to @cinefairy @heraisgod — ♡ the most inspiring people ever. you were the ones who kept reminding me to keep pushing and to be strong. i owe you everything.

- blushydior ��

#blushydior #loa

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lowkeycasanova · 3 months ago

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lover boy

just a lil sanji blurb for Valentine’s Day

Sanji’s POV:

I love how you're so resilient. I can still picture us in battle. The chaos around us, the clashing, and that fierce look in your eyes locked in on your target. You are always unstoppable. Even in the middle of a fight, I find myself watching you, caught between awe and worry. Not that you need protecting. You can hold your own. But damn, I wanted to. We'd fight side by side, perfectly in sync. I trusted you and you trusted me. I'd always step in where I could though. Call it instinct, call it love, but keeping you safe is something I could never ignore.

I love how you're so effortlessly at peace. Our crew is a rambunctious one, yet you always find the time to relax. Sometimes you'd lean against the railing of the Sunny, eyes half closed, letting the breeze play in your hair. I'd bring you a cup of tea without you having to ask, and you'd smile. Soft and grateful. I remember those quiet moments. Just the two of us, with the sound of the waves and my hand caressing your shoulder.

I love how you always come back. We don't fight often, but when we did, it hit harder than any punch I've taken. You'd cross your arms, eyes blazing, and saying words that cut deep. And I'd give it right back. I hated it. I know you did too. But what hurt the most wasn't the words, it was the silence that followed. You would refuse to look or talk to me. It left me with a knot in my throat and chest that threatened to take me at any second. I'd light a cigarette and steal glances at you, wondering how we got here and desperately wanting to go back. I gave you your space. And eventually, you'd look at me again. Hesitant, but there.

I love how you're so radiant. Everyone around you can't help but notice. I'm not proud of it, but jealousy creeps in before I can stop it. Strangers we meet all seem to think you're up for grabs. I know you're just being you, but I can see how they smile too wide or linger in your personal space for too long. They think they have a shot and it drives me insane. It takes everything in me not to stomp over there and remind them of their place.

I love when you're in the kitchen with me. Yes, come bless me with your presence while I cook for you. You ask me if you can help. No, you cannot. This is an act of love. I am making you dinner. Come sit on the counter and let's talk about whatever comes to mind while I chop vegetables. Food is love. Special. Deliberate. We are in my kitchen together and I love you.

#one piece sanji #op sanji #sanji x y/n #sanji x reader #sanji x you #sanji fanfic #sanji fanfiction #sanji fluff #one piece fluff #one piece fanfic

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megs-1800 · 3 months ago

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The One Where We Were On A Break- (Part 2)

Notes: This was highly requested after Part 1. You can read part 1 here. It is a 'will they' 'won't they' story and I really didn't know how it was going to end until I finished it. Please leave me reviews and requests as usual.

Summary: You and Mason have so much thrown at your relationship, will you be able to come out stronger or will the force that is dividing you apart finally win.

Pairings: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 10.3k

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Swearing, Smut, Mentions of spiking and sick.

Its been 2 weeks since that night, me and Mason did our awkward morning after conversations both not sure what to say to eachother. Its hard when there are so many feelings and emotions involved, I have never had a one night stand but I am thinking they are a lot easier than this. Mason made us breakfast whilst I sat in one of his shirts, on the breakfast bar across from him. Its like old times, it was like nothing has changed but at the same time everything had changed. We hardly spoke a word to eachother, everytime I wanted to say something nothing came out and I feel like Mason was the same. We looked across at eachother and eat in silence like we were strangers, I guess this moment in time we probably are.

I quickly made my excuses after that and went home, we haven’t spoken since that morning. Its now been 2 weeks. Mason has sent me a good morning text every morning and a good night text every night, he has tried to ring me a couple of times but I just cannot bring myself to respond. People would think its stalkerish but knowing Mase I know he just trying to put as much effort in trying to win me back. As magical as that night was, it has made everything 10000 times more complicated now.

It was late on Tuesday night and I see my phone light up, I was just drifting to sleep when it woke me from my sleepy state. I didn’t even look who was calling I just answered it:

“Hello” came the voice from the other line. Fuck I thought.. That’s Mason. I cannot hang up now. I continue to let him speak. “Sorry did I wake you?”

“Y-Yeah kinda a little bit its been a long day just needed an early night. Whats up?”

“Ah I am sorry for waking for you. To be honest I didn’t think you would answer."

“Yeah I know sorry about that I just don’t know what to say. Whats up tho Mase? Surely you cannot be ringing me at..” I quickly pull the phone away from my cheek and check the time as I wipe the sleep out of my eye “11:30pm on a Tuesday night just to say hi?”

Mason is silent for a little I guess trying to think of the answer, I can hear cars in the background so I am assuming he is driving somewhere. “I don’t really know in all honesty y/n/n, I started today and I scored a goal! It’s the 1st time that I actually started and scored a goal in so long. It was amazing, I got all these messages after the game and I guess all I wanted was to tell you. I am sorry for ringing you” I can hear the excitement in his voice, I am so proud of him.

“I am so proud of you. Go on Superstar!” That was the nickname that I always used to give to him which always made him roll his eyes but I knew deep down his ego loved it. “I actually knew you were starting, not going to lie I actually had the game on I just fell asleep so early I have been knackered. But I am glad you called thank you for telling me” I can feel my heart hurt even having this conversation with him.

“I will let you go and get some sleep. I just really wanted to hear your voice. Have sweet dreams beautiful”

“Thank you for calling and letting me know, I am generally so proud of you Mase. Get home safe okay. Message me once you are home”.

I sit awake not being able to sleep after that call, I sit staring at the ceiling. I haven’t heard his voice in 2 weeks and hearing his voice made all my feelings come back. The sound of my phone buzzing pulled me out of my trance which it was Mason telling me he was home safely. We sat up all night texting back and forth, it was natural. Like old times when we first started talking, both of us fighting the tiredness to stay up talking to eachother.

A week later I am sat on Lauren’s sofa playing with Jude over our monthly catch up brunches. We always make sure to see eachother once a month and this time it was my turn to travel up to her. “so whats new with you?” Lauren asks as she joins us on the sofa.

“Not much to be honest” I try and play it cool whilst I take another sip of my coffee.

Lauren gives me a little smirk “Oh really that’s not what Dec has been saying?”

I look at Lauren confused “what are you talking about?”

“Well apparently Mason has been saying that you two are talking again? So spill the tea whats happened?”

“I don’t know Lauren we started talking the other night when Mason scored that goal, and we have just been talking since. I just don’t know how I feel, cause I don’t wanna get hurt again but its so easy to love him Lau, I just don’t know what to do!”

We laugh and she gives me relationship advice regarding the situation, well of course she is rooting for us, everyone was. “I get he hurt you babes honestly I do but he made a mistake. Believe me we all were fuming with him for doing something so stupid but don’t punish him forever for a mistake.”

“I know.. I know. He was the first guy that I let all my guard down for and he broke me in every way possible so now I feel like I have my guard up again. I guess I will just have to see how things go”.

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Mason’s POV

I pulled up at the restaurant and make my way inside. I see Lauren and Declan waving at me from the table on the right. I quickly go over and hug them both and sit down. We are chatting away when Lauren asks “I did ask Y/N if she wanted to come? She said she was going to try?” I look down “yeah she said she had to work. I am not sure if it was an excuse or not as I have been asking to see her for a while and she keeps putting it off but I am giving her time so I just agreed with it and said she would be missed”.

We are having a great night chatting away and the food is delicious. That’s when I see over Declan’s shoulder a couple enter the restaurant. That’s when I double take as the girl looks so much like you.. wait that is you. Then I realise the guy that is with you is James. Are you serious? You tell me you are busy at work but actually going out with James? I am fuming. I watch as you say a couple of things to James and make your way to the bathroom. I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom too.

I wait outside the bathroom when you exit you look shocked. “Mase? What are you doing here?”

“I am out for dinner with Declan and Lauren. You know the dinner that you were invited too but were too busy ‘working’ to attend.” Which I put quotation marks around working. I sound a lot more confrontational then I wanted it to be.

You roll your eyes at this “really Mason we are going through this again?! I cannot keep having the same argument with you. Please its getting pathetic! I was working and then James asked if we wanted to continue working over dinner. Whats wrong with that? I am now not allowed dinner?” I can hear the anger in your voice, this is not how I wanted us to see eachother again.

“Come on y/n there is nothing innocent about James’ actions. Taking you for dinner? Come on he is just trying to fuck you.”

“Get over yourself Mason, we work together. But you know what who cares if he did wanna fuck me. You know what I could fuck him all night long if I wanted to, do you know why? Because I am not yours Mason! You know what I cannot keep having this same stupid pathetic argument! I cannot even believe I thought about getting back with you. You know what fuck off!” You shove past me and storm out of the restaurant. I watch as James see’s you and follows you outside.

I go back to the table trying to engage with conversation with Declan as I look over their shoulders at the window I can see you shouting with James. You are pacing in the street which I know you do when you are stressing out. I can see your voice is raised and you point over to the table which both you and James turn your head, I watch how James rolls his eyes and you both walk away.

I can feel my heart break, I have probably fucked it up with you again but at the same time I hate that you are with that prick. He was the whole reason we had that argument in the first place, and I was right he did have a crush on you I just wish you would see that.

I hated myself for causing that argument again, I never thought I would be the jealous type but here we are. Its like you have some kind of spell over me, I just want you all to myself. We both haven’t spoken since that night as I thought it would be best to leave you to calm down. Its been a week and I hate not speaking to you, I just wish I could go back to that night and not cause that argument, we were doing so well and I was winning you back.

I got home from training and I find myself slumped on the sofa, I keep looking over our pictures together which brings a small smile to my face. My fingers now hover over the call button and before I know it the phone is dialling you. I really do not expect you to answer but after a couple of rings the call connects:

“Hey Mase” you sound quiet like you are anxious to have this conversation

“I’m sorry” I blurt out I just need to apologise “I was an idiot I should of never caused that argument I was just jealous that you cancelled on me to work and then suddenly out for dinner with him. I am sorry I let my emotions get the best of me, please lets just go back to how we were, we were making progress please y/n/n.”

“I slept with James” I hear you blurt out. I am shocked I am not sure what to say, did I hear you right?

“I am sorry what?!” I am in complete shock

“After the fight James dropped me home. We ended up having like 3 bottles of wine. I was drunk and so pissed off with you I was like ‘fuck it’ you keep thinking that I am fucking him so I might as well make it a reality. I know its pathetic and childish I felt like shit the next morning. That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to message you. I am sorry”

“Right okay” is all I could reply to that sentence I am in complete shock. I cannot believe you slept with James. After all the arguments we have had about him and then you just slept with him just like that.

“Mase we are not together, I am allowed to sleep with whoever I want.”

“I know it just hurt out of everyone you could of slept with you slept with him. Are you two now together?” I hesitate as I really do not want to know the answer.

“No of course not, it was a one night stupid thing” I can hear the desperation in your voice.

“What? So you into one night stands now? That’s the girl you are now?” I am being blunt and I know I am out of order. I just want you to hurt.

“Are you actually calling me a slag right now Mason?!” I can hear your voice break at the end and I know you are now crying.

“Y/N I didn’t mean th-“

You cut me off “I cannot do this Mason. Everytime we see eachother we are arguing p-please I-I can’t” I can hear you trying to control your breathing. We sat on the phone for another 30 seconds both of us not knowing what to say.

You eventually break the silence “I-I gotta g-g-go” you eventually chock out and I let the phone go dead. I am still sat there on my sofa just staring blankly into the TV. Once again we cannot make it work maybe we are just not meant to be.

Readers POV

As soon as I hang the phone up I throw myself into my pillow and let the tears fall. I can feel my heart break all over again. Mason and I love eachother so much you can tell how much love there is between us both. Why can’t we just make it work.

I don’t even know how long I have been crying for until a knock at the door wakes me up, I quickly look in the mirror and I can see my eyes are red and puffy for the amount of crying. I look through the peep hole unsure who will be knocking at my door at this time.

Mason is stood there, he looks wet from the rain pour from outside. His eyes look the same as mine, not sure if it’s the rain but I know its obvious he has been crying. He had his head down and I could see his hands shaking I knew he was nervous.

The second I opened that door and saw Mason’s face I knew exactly why he was here, I could read the expression all over his face.

“We are done aren’t we?” I say defeated.

“Yeah I am done. I am done arguing and I am done caring.. I have loved you for so many years, you are the love of my life.. but I am done running after you.. I need to let you find peace and I need to be okay knowing that your peace isn’t with me. I will always love you but I need to be done now.. I need to let you go”.

And with that I watch as Mason turned around and walked back to his car. I can feel the tears rolling down my face. I couldn’t say anything I was frozen in the moment. Damn I will always love that man.

Mason’s POV

It’s the longest I have gone without messaging you, we have been no contact since that night. Its now been 4 weeks and 2 days. Yes I have been counting. The whole time all I thought about you, I wonder what have you been upto. Are you thinking of me? I always type a message out but I cannot bring myself to press send. We are toxic for eachother and staying in contact with eachother will just make it hurt more, that’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

Today is no different, I have been in training trying to recover from my current injury. As I drive home our song comes on the radio- Can’t help falling in love by Elvis and it makes tears form in my eyes as I sing along.

I bring my tired legs inside and do my usual evening routine. I am just about to get into bed when I see a call from Declan. It’s a bit unusual that he is ringing me this time of night especially as I know that he has an event. I quickly answer:

“Hey Mase, so sorry to ring so late. You alright?”

“Yeah you know so-so. Is everything alright Dec? I wasn’t expecting to hear from you tonight”.

“Hold on let me move it’s a bit loud here” I can hear Declan is in a club or something due to the amount of noise. He moves to somewhere quieter. “Listen Mase, its y/n”

The sound of your name gives me butterflies but then I need to remember to be strong “Declan please I know you are close with her but please I cannot keep hearing her name and speaking about her”.

“I know mate honestly I have rang everyone in my phone but no one can help please. I promise you were my last resort” . Now I am becoming worried but I let him continue. “Look Mase I have never seen her so drunk, I think she has been spiked she is all over the place. She has been dancing with these guys all night, I have been watching her to make sure she is okay but I cannot go over there as I gotta go in a bit to get to the event and I do not have time to take her home and there is no point me causing the drama and leaving her on her own that would make it a lot worse for her. I cannot leave her in that state Mase, Lauren will never forgive me. I am really scared she is going to get herself in trouble. I didn’t want to ring but no one else is around”.

I sat there debating it in my head the whole time he is speaking, as much as I really cannot see you right now I cannot leave you in a state like that. I would never forgive myself if you got hurt and I didn’t protect you. I must have been sat there debating in my head for a while as Declan brings me out of my trance “Mase you still there?” he asks.

“Yeah sorry Dec text me the address and I will be there in like 10 mins” Declan thanked me and messaged me the address as I quickly throw on a hoodie and joggers and ran out. I knew this club, you used to love going there. My hands are gripping the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles are white. I quickly find a parking spot just outside the club, its on double yellow lines but right now I don’t give a fuck about a ticket I just need to make sure you are safe.

I speak to the bouncer on the door and he lets me in straight away, I guess my fame does come in handy meaning I didn’t need to queue. I push myself through the waves of people, a couple of people stopping trying to take photos of me which I just continue past them. Right now my mind is focused on you. I see Declan and he waves me over.

“Thank god you are here I gotta go like now. She is over there” and he points to a booth in a corner where you are dancing with some guy. You look like you can barely stand and your head keeps rolling back, you look so out of it. “Lauren says thank you by the way. She couldn’t come because of Jude but she honestly appreciates you coming to the rescue, we both do”.

“Just because of everything that happened between us Dec doesn’t mean I stopped loving her believe me. I am glad you called at least I know she is safe” Declan thanks me again and makes his way out the club. I go over to the bar and grab a coke, it looks a bit less weird then me just standing in a club staring at you with no drink.

I watch you for another 30 minutes I have seen you in all your drunk states but you have never been like this, and I know you would never let yourself get into this state especially if you are on your own. You must have been spiked. I see the way this guy is swaying with you on the dancefloor and the way his hand keeps travelling to your bum. God I wanna break that hand is all I can think. He then helps you to sit at the end of the booth and he comes over to where I am stood at the bar, he orders 2 more alcoholic drinks you cannot ingest anymore alcohol you are fucked I have to intervene now before you end up in hospital.

I make my way to where you are sat. I crouch in front of you and hold your head in my hands, you roll your head into them as I hold the whole weight of you head. With my other hand I place some stands of hair behind your ear “Y/N hey! Can you hear me?” You open your eyes but there is nothing there, you are completely out of it. I stand up furious at what these guys have done to you, I grab your arm and place it around my shoulders as I take your entire weight trying to keep you standing.

As I about to walk, the guy you were dancing with stops me “Uh what do you think you are doing bro! Find your own slag this one is mine!”

I turn to him and shoot him a glare if I weren’t holding you right now he would already be on the floor. “who the fuck are you calling a slag! Now I suggest you let me leave with my girl” I square up to him. Some other guy walks over to him and whispers something in his ear all I hear is my name and ex, so I assuming that this guy has said to him that you are my ex. The other guys speaks up “Sorry mate no hard feelings yeah, my friend didn’t realise she was your girl our bad yeah”. I ignore them, not needing to give them a reply and walk away. I am able to get you to the bar as I shout over to the bar tender and point them in the direction towards those 2 guys and tell them to keep an eye on them.

With that I try and walk you out of the club, you are complete dead weight and its going to take us an age to even make it to the car. I quickly pick you up bridal style as I watch you nestle into my chest and I walk you out of the club and towards the car. I watch as the cameras clicked away, but right now I don’t care I just need to get you to safety.

I place you upright as I open the door and get you strapped into the passenger seat. You have your eyes closed and not even aware what is going on. I don’t know where to even take you as I don’t want to leave you on your own right now. I made my way back home.

Readers POV

I let my eyes suddenly adjust to the light, what happened last night? I remember that everything is blank. I begin to worry where I am but when I look round I know these surroundings I am at Mason’s. Why am I here, what happened?

As I sat myself up I feel the pain in my head suddenly and I quickly make my way to the toilet to throw up. I make my way back into bed, I am not sure where Mason is and grab my phone. The first thing I see is a news article from last night:

Mason Mount Seen Carrying Ex Girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N Out Of Manchester Club In Early Hours Of The Morning!

Shit I thought what the hell happened? why was Mason carrying me out of the club? What happened to my friends?

Mason brings me out of my trance as he walks into the bedroom wearing just a towel with some specks of water running down his chest. Fuck he looks fit.

“Sorry I used the guest shower as I didn’t want to wake you. How are you feeling?”

I try to look anywhere else so it doesn’t look like I am staring. “I feel like utter shit. What happened I cannot remember anything?”

Mason starts getting dressed and now I have to pull my eyes away when he takes the towel off. I can feel my heart rate increasing. “Declan rung me he said that you were off your face dancing with some guy he was worried about you but had to go to an event so he asked me to come down and save you I guess.

“Save me? Was I really that bad? I literally only had a couple of drinks”

Mason is now dressed and perches himself of the end of the bed and turns towards me, “y/n you were out of it. I was actually quite worried. Me and Dec have seen you drunk many times but never like this, we think you were spiked. Who were you with anyway? As when I got there you were on your own dancing with some prick” I can see the anger in his eyes, I hate that I made him worry.

“Uh shit I seriously don’t remember a thing. I was out with Brittany and some of her friends”.

“Well that makes a lot of sense” he scoffs and rolls his eyes. “It wouldn’t surprise me if she spiked you herself for a laugh. I cannot believe she fucking left you in that state, when I next see her I am giving her a peace of my mind. If Declan didn’t ring me and I didn’t turn up when I did god knows what would of happened y/n. You should of let me know you were going out with fucking Brittany and I would of come out with you and kept an eye on you. You know I hate you going out with her.”

“How was I suppose to ‘let you know’ Mason we haven’t spoken in weeks, but thank you for coming to my rescue as usual.” I look down at myself sitting in Mason’s bed and now realise I am literally just wearing Mason’s top and my hair still a little damp. “Uh Mase we didn’t uh you know have sex did we?” As right now sleeping together would make things a lot more complicated.

Mason giggled and gave me a small smile whilst he held my hand, “Uh no we defiantly didn’t do anything. You were completely fucked you couldn’t even keep your eyes open. I didn’t even think you knew who I was. But you were sick over yourself so I got you out of your dress and showered you and put you in a tshirt as I didn’t want you getting cold. I put you in my bed so I could keep an eye on you, I didn’t want you rolling on your back and choke or anything”.

My heart melts with the kindness that Mason is showing me. “Thank you Mase I really appreciate it.” As I place a small peck to his cheek.

“I gotta get going to training.” He says starting to move away from the bed.

“Shit sorry Mase. You shouldn’t of come to get me. You must be knackered.” I now feel so guilty.

“Shhhh” he says trying to sooth me as he pushes me back on the bed and plays with my hair. “I will never regret coming to save you. Now you get some sleep okay, I have only got training until this afternoon. When I am back I will take you home yeah? Or I can order you an uber now?”

I debate in my head but right now my head is pounding and I really do not want to move, I stretch out and makes me realise how comfortable his super king bed is. “I think I will vote for staying here if that’s okay?”

“Of course now you get some beauty sleep baby girl” he gives me butterflies as he grabs his training bag. As he walks out the room he turns around and gives me one more look, I gave him a warm smile and he says “I love you” his eyes turn wide when he realises what he is said “I am sorry its habit”. At with that he walks out the door. I roll over to his side of the pillow and let sleep overcome me.

When I wake up I look at the time on my phone, I see that its 1pm and Mason will be back from training anytime soon. I quickly get up and shower as my head feels relatively better now, I text Mason earlier and said I was awake. As I am getting dressed, I found my favourite tracksuit that he owns and I hear a text notification:

Mason: Five guys for lunch? xx

Me: You read my mind xx

Mason rang me asking me want I wanted and 30 mins later he was home with lunch. He comes in smiling. “Wow you look happy. Training went well I am guessing” he placed the five guys on the living room table in front of me as I start opening everything.

“Training was alright, maybe I was just happy because I am coming home to you” he sends me a wink. He puts his training bag down and looks at me. “How did I know you was going to wear that tracksuit”. Which we both giggle.

We talk and laugh the whole time we eat our food. I end up staying until the evening, we non stop laugh and play playstation together its like old times whilst he teases me because I am so bad at fifa. Then when I score I do his celebration which makes him giggle. I then catch a glimpse at the time. “Damn I really should be going. I got work tomorrow so need to get all my work bits ready”.

I see the disappointment in Mason’s face “did you want me to drop you home or I can order you an uber?” I smile at his consideration to always make sure I am home safely.

“Its upto you, if you want to drive me home I won’t say no” Mason agrees and we make our way back to mine. We are singing along to the radio and laughing. I am wishing all the traffic lights turn red so I can spend that extra couple of seconds with him. We pull up outside and what I wouldn’t give for one more lap around the block. I turn to Mason “Thank you Mase for everything. You didn’t need to come and rescue me but thank you Mase. Today has been amazing. I actually don’t want it to end.”

Mason is learning over the middle of the car so he is closer to me, I can feel his breathe on my skin, “I don’t want to let you leave. I am scared if you leave we will go back to our usual chaotic selves.” We continue to look at eachother for a moment until I reach across the car and pull him closer, I put my fingers through his hair as our lips touch. I am caught up in the moment, the kiss is passionate and we are desperate for eachothers lips. Mason deepens the kiss, we continue like this for another couple of minutes. I pull away and we just stare into eachothers eyes, god I could get lost in those eyes. Mason sits there playing with my hair. “I will see you soon yeah” I say as I get out the car. I get to my doorstep and turn around Mason’s eyes do not leave mine. As I get inside, I shut the door behind me and slide down the door. I love that man!

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Another month has passed and me and Mason are the best we have ever been. We have had a couple of dates and we are taking these slow. Its like when we first started talking and I am definitely loving it. I am in my kitchen making me and Lauren a drink for a monthly catch up:

“So tell me Y/n/n I wanna know about you and Mason?”

I giggle like a little school girl “Lauren you have no idea its amazing! Its back to how we were before we moved to Manchester I keep getting those little butterflies in my stomach and we both putting so much effort into it. I think I am falling in love with him all over again!”

“Ekkk I am so excited for you” she squealed. “Have you guys slept together yet?”

“No we have been taking it slow, no offence its not like we have never had sex before so we know that is incredible! But its been nice to actually just to go back to how we were when we first stated dating. We have a got date night for this weekend though so possibly that night might be the night!”

Lauren gives me a small excited clap “Yayyyy I cannot wait to hear all about it. You know we are all routing for you both” I know she always got my back.

Its date night and I have tried all 4 outfits on and I just cannot make up my mind, I need everything to be perfect and in my mind I am panicking that something will go wrong. Mason and I have been on dates since we started speaking again but we haven’t actually had sex since so that makes tonight extra special. Its like our first time all over again.

Mason has booked us a table at the restaurant we had our first date at, it’s a small restaurant in London. We haven’t been to it since we moved to Manchester so it will be nice to go back. I opt in for a mini skirt with some tights and a cute little top and jacket. I wore my new red lacey underwear set underneath, which empathises my boobs, I know Mason will be in love with it. I curl my hair as I know Mason's preference is to have it curled. I check myself out in the mirror on the way out the door. Mason has picked me up in his land rover. “Ready to go?” he asks as I climb in the car. I throw my overnight back into the backseat as he pulls off. Mason has booked a nice London hotel tonight near the restaurant. “You look beautiful by the way. Absolutely stunning” he made me blush “ thank you, you look so fit as well” I responded back.

We pull up outside the hotel and park up, “you okay if I just leave the car here? Means I can have a couple of drinks with you if we walk? It’s a lovely night for it?” I nod in response to Mason, I have suddenly become all nervous. I take Mason’s hand in mine as we talk the short walk to the restaurant.

When we arrive they sit us in the back out the way which we are both grateful to have some privacy. “You know this was the table we sat at for our first date”, Masons eyes sparkle reflecting off the light and I feel just like I did that first night.

“I know! Who do you think booked this table” he replied. He was always so thoughtful. We continue to talk over dinner about my work and his training and just general life. He has me non stop laughing as we end up going through 2 bottles of wine.

The bill comes so I turn to Mason still holding his hand across the table “did you want me to get half? Or I can get the whole dinner as you got the hotel?” I offer, Mason lets go of my hands like he offended.

“Of course not! I didn’t let you pay for our first date so why do you think I am going to let you pay now? You can get the next one” .

I laugh at his attempt “you say that everytime so I probably owe you like what 56 dinners?”

Mason giggles back at me “well we will just make 57 then won’t we”.

Mason pays the bill and we make our way out, as we go to leave there is paparazzi outside. “Its just like our first date” I joked with Mason but he didn’t sound too impressed he hates that we cannot just have a dinner. He goes to one of the waiters and they point towards the back so Mason grabs my waist and guides me out.

“I am sorry I know its annoying. They always find a ruin everything” I can see the anger in his eyes.

“Its fine Mase it kinds of comes with the territory of dating a footballer babe. I have been in your life many years I am kind of used to it at this point”. I try to reason. I stop and hold Mason around his waist.

He pulls me in gripping my sides “you shouldn’t have to get used it though”

“I would get used to anything if it means keeping you” Mason doesn’t reply but kisses me, it’s a short gentle kiss. We pull away and I can suddenly feel the alcohol start to kick in and I am now starting to feel a little tipsy. We continue to walk hand in hand back to the hotel. As we arrive Mason unlocks the car and we get our overnight bags out.

Mason checks us in whilst I stand back trying to focus, as the alcohol has now apparently starting to affect my vision. Mason walks back over to me and leads me over to the lifts, as soon as the lift door closes I wrap my arms round Mason and attack his lips. Its desperate and passionate as I feel him grab my bum and hips as he deepens the kiss. He pushes me against the lift walls as we deepen the kiss. We hear the lift ding and the doors open, we suddenly pull away from eachother as another couple get in. We stand across the lift just seductively staring at eachother trying our hardest not to touch eachother. It was the longest 30 seconds of my life. As soon as the lift dings indicating that we are at our floor, we practically run out of the lift and as soon as the door closes we are attached again.

Mason continues to kiss me as he guides me to our room, we pull away to enter the room and place our bags down. I give myself a couple of seconds to admire the room and Mason is back on me. He pushes me against the wall, as he pulls my skirt up to get more assess to my ass. He tilts my head to the side as he attacks my neck, he is sucking away and I can already feel the hickey forming. I am continuing to grind into him as I can feel his dick harden as he moans into my neck.

Mason pulls away and whips his shirt off, which I pull my skirt and tights in one swift motion and in the same throw my top off leaving me in my red lace bra and matching thong. Mason is stood in his pants as I can see his growing cock fighting to get out. He stands there and admires me for a couple of seconds as he rubs himself over his pants. “Fucking hell I am so lucky” his lips are back onto mine. We both fighting with our tongues for control, he continues to grind into me as I am pushed against the wall. He inches his fingers down and rubs me through my thong, I can feel my wetness growing as I have waited so long for this. He goes down and sucks on the top of my boobs that is pushed out of the bra. I cannot stop moaning his name which is fuelling him more, I know he loves it when I say his name.

“Y/N I honestly wanna tease you all night but I don’t think I can hold it. I need to be inside you” I bring Mason back to me and continue to deeply kiss him as I reply. “Mase please I need your cock” I plead with him. Mason wastes no time as he picks me up and throws me onto the bed as he removes his pants and I watch his dick spring up. He flips us over so I am on top and he gives himself a couple of pumps and then lines himself up with me and he moves my thong out the way and lowers my hips down onto him. I cannot hold the moan that escapes my lips as I feel him stretch me out. I give myself a couple of seconds to adjust to his size and then I begin my pace bouncing up and down on him. “This sight I could actually look at all day long” Mason whispers into me as I continue my pace. “fuck y/n your pussy is so good” “honestly Mase you have no idea how good your cock feels in me right now”. I continue my pace I can feel me getting close but my legs are starting to give out as I can feel the burn I am not sure how much longer I can go.

Mason realises that I am slowly down and realises what is happening, he quickly flips us over in one shift motion so he is now on top with my legs wrapped around his waist. “I am sorry” I apologise feeling embarrassed and try to look away. Mason grabs my face so I am looking into his eyes “don’t be silly you know how much I love being on top of you. I am going to absolutely destroy you” and with that he makes a massive thrust.

I moan Mason’s name as he continues his rhythm “uh Mase I can feel you in my stomach” which makes him smile into my lips as I know it gives his ego a massive boost when I say that. I can feel my walls clenching around him, I am so close. “come on cum for me baby girl” Mason continues his pace and then he hits the spot and I come undone, I am a screaming mess underneath him which the sight of this makes him cum as well. He quickly remembers to pull out and cums all over my stomach and collapses next to me. “Fuck you are so sexy. I fucking love our sex” he says turning to me and we have a long kiss. “Stay there I will get you some tissue” he says coming back into the room with some tissue so I can clean up.

I wake the next morning of the sound of someone knocking at the door, Mason is already up so goes to open it. He walks back into the room with a cart “I ordered room service I thought you would be starving after last nights antics” I giggle remember the three rounds that we went last night and how sore my body is today from it. I quickly get up and wrap the hotel robe round myself and join Mason at the hotel table so we can share breakfast. At this moment everything is perfect!

We continue in our honeymoon phase, our relationship cannot be more perfect. I am basically staying at Mason’s every night and we talk all day everyday that our work allows us. No arguments, no fights, just love and passion. Last night was no different, Mason had a late Tuesday night game so I decided to stay at home. I have been watching the game, Mason didn’t get to start but came on after 60 minutes, they lost but at least Mason got game time which is the main thing.

I am woken to notifications on my phone, I see different people have text me all asking to look at the news, they have screenshotted pictures of the news statement and when I open the message I see the headline: I AM PREGNANT WITH MASON MOUNTS’S BABY!

My heart suddenly drops in my chest, I am used to all these rumours of people trying anything to get a story but for some reason my gut is telling me this is different. I try and ring Mason as I knew he would be home now but no answer. I try to sleep but that’s all my mind can think of.

I have tried to tell myself the news article isn’t real but Mason hasn’t responded to any of my texts or calls so I guess I got my answer. I cannot believe it, everything was going so well with us and now this has got to come along and ruin everything. I am wreck all over again, I hate the not knowing what is going to happen next.

I am working away in the office trying to keep my mind occupied when I see a text message from Mason:

Mason: “Hey, is it okay if I come over once you finish work. I owe you an explanation? x”

I quickly reply “Of course. I will look forward to seeing you x”

Mason doesn’t reply but I cannot wait to get out of work. I am counting down the minutes to before I finally finish. When I pull up outside my house I see Mason is already there waiting for me. “Hey” he says. I shoot him a smile and let us inside. I offer him a drink and then we both sit on the sofa, I have to hold my hands still to stop from shaking. I am so anxious right now.

“I am sorry for not replying or contacting you. I just had to get my head around everything. I still don’t know how I feel”. Mason finally speaks after our long period of silence.

“So I am guessing its true”

Mason nods. I gulp swallowing the lump in my throat that is forming. I feel sick but I know we need to have this conversation I need answers. “Who is she?” I ask.

Mason looks down as he cannot look me in the eye “She is just a girl. A one night stand thing. It happened when me and you were broken up. She was just a girl I used to try and get over you. She is 7 months along. So basically due soon.”

“Okay I thought you said you used protection with those other girls? And why now? Why did she wait 7 months to come forward”.

“I thought I did too but I was so pissed everytime I slept with those girls I had no idea what was happening half the time. And I have no idea why now. She said that her relationship broke down when he found out it was my baby and she couldn’t do it on her own”.

“So she just wants money?” I spat out

“Possibly but I don’t care. Its my baby y/n. The dates add up, I went to the hospital with her for her scan and they confirmed the date of conception. I have to be a part of my baby’s life. I have to be a dad you know how much I want children. But at the same time I cannot loose you”.

I bring myself to look at Mason and his eyes match mine, we are both fighting back tears “so where is she now?”

“She is staying with me, I said to her I wanted to be part of every moment of the pregnancy as I have already missed out on so much”.

I nod slowly trying not to let emotion overwhelm me “Mason I cannot be with you knowing another girl, that you slept with might I add, is living in your house and having your baby. Having your 1st baby Mason. It would be different if me and you met and you had a child. But everything we have been through and now this! I cannot handle that Mase, I cannot let my heart break like that and I cannot ask you to choose.”

“I understand” Mason sniffles and tries to control his breathing.

“Are you getting a DNA test or do you trust this girl?”

“I trust her, but you know me I have always been too trusting. Dad is adamant that I get a DNA test but cannot get one done until the baby is born so for now I am assuming it is mine until I proved wrong”.

“Okay” is all I can reply. I wish I prepared myself for this conversation. In my head I just kept preparing that it wouldn’t be real.

“I don’t want to loose you y/n/n. Please tell me you will still be around. I cannot do life without you”. I watch as a tear slips down his face.

“You will always have me Mase. But at the same time I cannot keep letting myself love you. Look at all the shit we have been through. I have got to distant myself from you, I have to let myself move on otherwise I will continue to be fixated on you, I will let you control my life. But if you ever need me no matter the time or day ring me and I will come running.” I am trying to assure Mason as I wipe his tears away.

We share a small kiss, a goodbye kiss, us both not wanting to let go. With that Mason walks away, as soon as gets to the car he turns around and gives me one more look and I watch him drive away as I let my tears fall. Well that’s us finished for good.

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Masons’ POV

I knock again in case you do not hear me, I look through the windows but it looks like no one is home. I call you again but there is no answer. Where are you? The panic is setting in, are you okay? Are you ignoring me? You said you will always be there so where are you? I go back to sit in my car with Lewis, as its clear you are not at home. I am not sure who else would know where you were. I didn’t want to call your family as I am not sure they would want to speak to me after everything that has happened.

All I can think of I could try Lauren, I quickly hit dial which after a couple of rings she answers: “hey” she states. “Where is she Lauren?” I blurt out.

“Where is who?” Lauren questions.

“Y/n” I reply “I need to see her Lauren, where is she?” I hear Lauren take a breathe

“Did you not know?” I can hear the confusion in her voice

“Know what?” I can feel my tone getting heated a little as I am getting tired of not getting the answers I want.

“She is leaving Mase. She got a job in Germany. Her company is expanding and there new head office is going to be there so she is going over there for 6 months to trial it out and get them all set up.” I feel my heart drop you are leaving? Lewis gives a sympatric look.

“When did she leave?”

“uhhh now I think. Her flight is today, hold on I might have the time” I heard her tapping away on her phone. “Yeah 2pm”. I look at the time its 12pm now. I look at Lewis with hope.

“I might have time to grab her before she flies. I gotta tell her everything, I cannot let her leave not knowing how I feel” I said this to both Lewis and Lauren. “Where is she flying from?”

Lauren gives me a couple of seconds of silence then replies “Manchester” that’s it I am going.

“Lauren text me her flight information I gotta go tell her”. Lauren agrees and hungs up the phone. I start driving towards the airport.

“What do you think is going to happen? What you going to tell her how you feel and she is going to decide to stay?” Lewis asks trying to speak rationally but right now I am not thinking, all I can think of you.

“I don’t know Lew, but I cannot just let her go and never know. I have to allow myself the chance to tell her. She deserves to know”.

“I don’t know Mase, you are just going to turn her life upside down again. Shouldn’t you just leave the poor girl alone”. I know you and Lewis were always close, you were always his favourite girl I have dated.

“Your my brother Lew, you are supposed to be on my side!” I argue

“I am on your side, I am the one in the bloody car on a way to the airport so you can declare your love to this girl. But Mase she is moving on with her life you are about to throw all these emotions her way. You just need to be prepared you may not get the reaction that you want”. I don’t reply I just focus on the road ahead with my knuckles gripping the steering wheel. I know deep down he is right but I need to allow myself to try.

We find somewhere to park near the airport, that is going to cost me and an arm and leg I thought. I looked at the time and we have 30 mins until your gate closes. I really hope you haven’t boarded yet. We run to the front desk and buy 2 tickets and run through security. We find your gate number on the board and of course it has to be the gate that is the furthest away. We continue to run as quick as I can which Lewis tells me to leave him as I can run quicker.

I make it to your gate but there is a massive queue of people, I search through but I cannot see you. I stand on one of the chairs and I see you in the middle. I shout for you and you turn around and see me, you looked shocked. You walk out of line and come and meet me, at this time I turn around and Lewis has been able to catch up but stands out of the way.

“Mase what are you doing here?” you look nervous.

“I couldn’t let you leave without telling you how I feel” I go to grab your hands in mine but you pull away.

“Mase I can’t do this right now. How did you even know I was leaving?”

“Lauren” we both say in unity.

“Please y/n 5 minutes and then if you wanna go then I will let you go please.”

“Mase nothing is going to change. I know how you feel but you are having a baby with another women and I will never make you choose but at the same time you cannot make me stay.”

“Its not mine” I blurt out. “She gave birth to a baby boy last week, we got the DNA test back this morning. Its not my baby. She lied, she slept with someone else the same week we slept together. She told me that she only slept with me and there was no doubt in it, but the truth was there was always the chance that it wouldn’t be mine. She just tried to get as much money as she could out of me. I am glad my family pushed me into the DNA test now.”

You look down “Uh shit Mase I am so sorry”

“I am not. It made me realise I don’t want to be a dad unless you are their mum. I can only do parenthood by your side. I want you to have my 1st child and all my children, I want to see you have that beautiful baby glow and I want to have a baby that is half yours. I cannot do life without you y/n. I love you baby, please. I can’t do this without you. You are the reason my world turns, you are the reason my heart beats. Please don’t leave y/n, I need you by my side. I will do anything to make you stay. I will get on my heads and knees in front of everyone and beg you to stay if that’s what you want? Please y/n just give us a chance, you know we are made for eachother, we always find a way to make it back to eachother no matter the storm.”

I watch as you try and look up trying to hold in the tears “M-Mase I can’t do this right now I gotta go”. And with that you give me a small smile with watery eyes and walk towards your flight. I can feel myself trying to hold it in. I turn to Lewis “I really thought she would stay” . Lewis gives me a hug trying to calm me down “I know bro I really thought she would too”.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mason's POV

I am still not over you, I think deep down I will never be able to get over you but I just try and stay on the positives. I count myself lucky that I was still loved by you, and that you got to be such a big part of my life. That’s the mindset I am trying to have, I am letting my wounds slowly heal and I know eventually I will be okay but at the same time I am not sure if I want to heal, as that will mean I will have to stop thinking about you and I don’t think I ever want to do that.

Today is match day and all my family have come down to watch the game, all I wish is that you were here. I try not to message you so I can allow myself to move on but I ask Lauren for updates. She says you are loving it in Germany and absolutely thriving, part of me is gutted as you are so far away but at the same time I am so proud of you. Its been a month since you have gone and I still miss you more then ever. I ask Lauren if you speak about me which she says no, I don’t know if that’s the truth or if she is just trying to protect me.

I had the best game of the season so far, I started the game and got a hattrick in the first time in ages. After the game we do our interviews and get changed then I make my way to the players lounge to see my family. They all say words of encouragement and how proud they are off me, Mila and Summer come over and hugging me. I hug Lewis when he whispers in my ear “if I were you Mase I would turn around”. Confused at this sentence I turn around and that’s when I see you. You are stood in a pair of skinny jeans and one of my united tops, your hair is straightened and blonder then I remember. You look phenomenal, you make my heart skip a beat. “Hey” you say softly.

I slowly walk over to you, still trying to figure out if you are real. I stop in my tracks in front of you. “W-what are you doing here?” I am speechless and in complete shock. I wasn’t expecting to see you.

“You think I would miss my superstar’s best game of the season?” which makes us both giggle. We were always eachothers biggest supporter. You grab my hands in yours “I realise that I couldn’t be apart from you either. I tried everything to get over you but that day in the airport constantly plays in my mind. I realise that I can’t be without you Mason, no job or location is worth loosing you. I will choose you over everything life throws at me. So I came back, I couldn’t live another day without being yours. I need you Mase. I love you”.

I am still in complete shock, I have no words to reply. I grab either side of your cheeks and give you a needy kiss. I am scared if I let you go then you won’t be real. We both stand there in the moment for a little too long when my brother coughs and pulls us out of the moment. We both pull away smiling at eachother, your eyes are sparkling and I swear you have got more beautiful then the last time we saw eachother. If that was even possible.

I turn to my family “Did you guys know?” they both look at eachother for a response which my mum speaks up “she told us not to say anything. She wanted to surprise you”. I guide you over to the table where we are all sat and Mila is straight on your lap whilst you play with her hair. We all engage in conversation about your trip and about the game and for this moment the world has stopped spinning. For the first time in a while everything is how its suppose to be.

#angst #fluff and angst #football #footballer imagine #footballer imagines #footballer x reader #footballer x you #manchester united #footballer smut #smut #mason mount fanfic #mason mount smut #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount

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jewish-vents · 11 days ago

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I feel so sorry for the hostages that got released. Their lives are forever broken I mean yes they are alive Baruch Hashem but the trauma will take months if not years to overcome (that's if they can overcome it I'm thinking about Yarden Bibas I wonder if he could ever love someone so much like he did for Shiri and his children)

I saw the testimony of Chen Goldstein-Almog who lost her husband Z"L and her first daughter and she was taken hostage with her second daughter Agam. She did an interview saying her and her children were now living in the center of Israel far away from the kibbutz they were living. Chen was born in the kibbutz, she was married for 34 years to the love of her life and she gave birth to her children in the kibbutz. She said something so touching she said that she always loved the village even if it was near Gaza and she always thought it was peaceful and safe. After being released, they deserted completely the house unable to live in it because of the flashbacks PTSD and the silence in the village.

I watched the interview with tears in my eyes. October 7 destroyed her life.

I'm thinking also about Eden Yerushalmi's family. Her two little sisters skipped school and traveled in so many countries to fight for their sister release and her mother who is beating herself up because she think she didn't fought enough for her release she wrote on instagram "Before the murder, I would close my eyes and imagine you coming back, picturing all the warmth and love we showered upon you. I had fantasies of buying you everything and fulfilling all your dreams, and today when I close my eyes, I remember you lying in Abu Kabir and I come to say goodbye to you. I will never forget the look you had on your face. I am so sorry we couldn’t bring you home alive. This missed opportunity will accompany me for my entire life."

I want to hug Eden's mother so so so much. And tell her she did her best. Eden is certainly so proud of her, of them. There's no doubt on where she got her courage during all these months in the tunnels. I often find myself thinking about the hostages released. They lost their innocence. The government should offer them unlimited free sessions with therapists for life this is just really sad and unfair...

#jewish vents

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pastel0rchid · 1 year ago

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A Gift from the Gods (6)

Hiccup x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: None

A/N: I finally did it! I apologize so much for getting this out so late. It's not the longest chapter, but I am actually really proud of how this came out, and I hope you enjoy it as well. Until next time, my friends <3

Previous Chapter .~.~. Next Chapter

The flight back to Dragon’s Edge was quiet between Hiccup and you after he situated himself back onto Toothless’ saddle. The silence wasn’t unbearable. It didn’t cause your stomach to twist in uncomfortable knots as you tried to find the words to fill it.

No, this silence was comfortable.

Your mind was allowed to wander as your wings flap to keep you upright beside Toothless. The burn at the base of your wings was barely noticeable between thoughts about how Hiccup had looked at you.

The way his green eyes remained locked on your own when the two of you glided, combined with the bright smile etched across his lips, had your stomach fluttering.

It reminded you of the way your father always looked at your mother. The abstract wonder in his eyes every time she took flight or when she hummed to herself while cleaning. You remember having childlike hope in finding a love like theirs.

You shake your head at the thought. You had only known Hiccup for a short while, and it was definitely not enough time to find yourself gaining feelings for him. Right?

But how his green eyes reflected the sun would be a memory you would cherish for quite some time.

Landing on a cliff edge, Toothless huffs as Hiccup slides off his back. The dragon stretches before walking toward where the other dragons are grouped in the distance.

You watch as Toothless interacts with the other dragons happily, going up to Stormfly while the two bob their heads at each other. A small smile makes its way to your lips as your eyes remain locked in the scene.

The soft sound of someone clearing their throat causes you to look over towards Hiccup, the smile still on your lips, but now there is a hint of confusion in your eyes. Hiccup stands beside you, nervously rubbing the back of his neck as he looks down at you. Something was clearly on his mind, so much so that it was troubling him.

“I’m uh… I’m sorry about touching your wing earlier and scaring you. I don’t know what I was thinking.” His voice came out as nervous as he looked.

His confession caused the confusion to wash away from your eyes, your smile softening as you shook your head slightly.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t expecting it, so it was a bit of a shock,” You say gently before extending your right wing towards him, “You just need to ask so I can prepare myself.”

Hiccup’s eyes look towards the outstretched wing, taking a quiet second to think over your words before reaching a hand towards it, albeit hesitantly, “Is this okay?”

Your gaze was locked on his hand that barely touched your wing before you gave a silent nod to his question. You take a deep breath, emphasizing in your mind that you were the one who offered your wing to him.

You remind yourself that you aren’t in any danger. You’re safe. You’re not living in the forest on constant alert anymore.

His fingertips finally graze against your wing. The feeling is something you’re so unused to that your body flinches, causing Hiccup to pull his hand away quickly. His eyes filled with worry at how your body reacted to his featherlight touch.

“I’m sorry, are you-”

“I’m okay,” You interrupt him while releasing the breath you had been holding, “You can keep going.”

Green eyes observe you silently for a few seconds, his eyes locking with yours as if searching deep into your soul for the truth. You stare back into his eyes, the corner of your lips tugging into a reassuring smile as you push your wing back toward him.

He slowly reaches his hand toward your wing while keeping his eyes locked on yours. His fingers gently caress the top of your wing, and instead of your body flinching away from his touch, your body shivers.

Your eyes remain locked as his fingers take in every sensation of your wing. They glide over scales and the occasional small cut that littered across it from years in the forest. Silence fills the air between you.

You can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking.

Your wing twitches slightly from his touches, but Hiccup does not move to pull away like last time. He keeps running his fingers over the top part of your wing, feeling to the edge before slowly going back toward the middle and continuing toward the base.

His touches cause your breath to deepen, your heart racing in your chest as you try to accustom yourself quickly to the unfamiliar sensation.

All the while, Hiccup keeps eye contact with you. It was as if he never wanted to miss a single reaction, no matter how small it may seem.

Just like when you were both gliding, the seconds feel like hours while the two of you stand on the edge of a cliff. His fingers move closer and closer to the base of your wings, his eyes silently questioning if this was still okay. You answer it by staying still.

Hiccup takes a small step closer to you, his arm reaching over your shoulder to where his fingers stay connected with the top of your wing as he almost reaches where your wings connect with your back. Your breath hitches at how close he is now.

You could make out every freckle, every blemish he had on his face. You could even see the light scar on his chin better now. You still wanted to ask how he got it. Now was not the time.

Everything was too much and not enough at the same time.

His lips part, ready to say anything to fill the silence between you, but he’s suddenly interrupted by the shouting of his name. His fingers quickly retract from your wing, his body stepping away from you as he looks to whoever called for him.

Your heart aches at the void of his touch and the cold that washes over you when he steps away.

Astrid was running towards where the both of you stood, the others trailing close behind her, as she carried a terrible terror in her arms. When the group arrives in front of you and Hiccup, you finally notice the paper in Astrid’s hand.

“It’s from your father!” Astrid pants out while handing Hiccup the letter, the terrible terror jumping out of Astrid’s arms and beginning to head over to you.

You pick up the small dragon while Hiccup reads the letter, gently scratching its chin before making eye contact with Astrid, who is staring you down. She wasn’t the only one. The others were as well.

You begin to feel your cheeks heat up in a flush. Your gaze slowly goes to the dragon in your arms, deciding to pay attention to how it purred and nuzzled against you.

Hiccup suddenly calls for Toothless, who is still over with the other dragons. You look back towards the brunette with silent confusion at the worry that fills his tone. The other riders follow his lead and call for their dragons.

Green eyes find yours as everyone mounts their dragons, unease shining in them as he looks down at you. You give him a slight tilt of your head, a silent question of concern. He holds his hand towards you, beckoning you. Moving the terrible terror to lay around your shoulders, you take Hiccup’s hand and allow him to pull you up to sit behind him.

Toothless adjusts his body slightly, not used to having a second person on his back.

“It’s going to be a long flight,” He says to you before looking over towards his friends, “Looks like we’re heading back to Berk.”

Taglist: @spiderlily-w1tch-blog @millie--billie @persipeoni @honethatty12

#reader insert #hiccup x reader #httyd fanfiction #httyd x reader

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miss-soph-star · 19 days ago

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Aftercare & Boundaries: A Little Discussion

So tonight I did something, and I realise I’m kinda proud of myself for it. I went out for a meal with friends, then to our local LGBTQIA+ bar for karaoke and half way through the night in walks my old situationship/ domme. I haven’t seen her in months and the last time destroyed me. She left me with no aftercare, and I’ve never felt so alone, dirty and used. Now I’m not one to cry but I cried on and off for a week every time I saw a mark on my skin it set me off. Tonight I realised something; I hold the same power! My submission does not equal weakness. I held my head high, I was polite and civil but when she tried to come home with me, to my place of safety, I refused, setting my boundaries. I then left, came home, showered and put on a pretty slip dress. I gave myself the care I needed and I am proud of myself for removing myself from a situation that was never conducive to my wellbeing. So I’m making this post to tell you all: you are so worth it, you deserve to feel cared for, you deserve to feel safe and you deserve aftercare in whatever shape or form that takes for you.

~ Sending my love to you all,

Soph <3

#soph.confessions #aftercare #bd/sm education #wlw concepts #sapphic blog #lesbian

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ducksido · 1 month ago

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hi ado! Mootie here!! I loved how u wrote it! I come with another request. Could i have an azul with a fem/ fem leaning gn reader with body image issues as well? But instead of being insecure about cubbiness, she’s insecure about how skinny she is? I myself am basically a stick figure and have nearly no meat on my bones, and am under 100 pounds while all my peers are over 100. I’ve been teased about this, and was wondering if you could write a reader with this? Like no matter how much she eats, she never gains any weight and is super insecure about it?

sorry if this seems too self indulgent, its just i’ve seen lots of chubby! Readers, but not a lot of extremely skinny/ near stick figure readers. If you wish to ignore, you can, but i just want to see how they would deal with their self images together.

(I’m really proud of you. Your feelings are real, valid, and you deserve stories that make you feel seen. Always.)

Azul x Fem/Fem-leaning GN!Reader (TW: body image insecurity, teasing mentioned)

Azul was fussing with his collar in the mirror, eyes flicking over every inch of his appearance with that same overly critical gaze he always seemed to reserve for himself. The lounge had closed for the night, and you were sitting quietly on the edge of his bed, knees pulled to your chest, hoodie sleeves swallowed by your hands.

He turned to look at you. “You’ve been quiet tonight.”

You didn’t respond immediately. Your head rested against your knees, face half-hidden. You hoped the shadows in the dim light might shield you from his concerned expression.

“Sorry. I’m just… thinking,” you mumbled.

Azul sat beside you, close but not touching, giving you space. “About?”

There was a pause. You almost didn’t answer. But something about Azul—the way he always let silence sit gently between words instead of forcing them out—made it feel okay to speak.

“…My body,” you admitted. “I feel like people only talk about body issues if it’s about being ‘too big.’ But what about the other side? What if you’re too thin?”

Azul blinked, surprised by your words. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again—careful with his thoughts.

You went on before he could interrupt. “No matter how much I eat, I don’t gain anything. People make these jokes—say stuff like I’ll ‘fly away in the wind’ or ask if I even eat. I do. I eat plenty. But it’s like my body just… doesn’t change.”

You glanced down at your arms. Thin. Delicate. “I look in the mirror and I see a skeleton. And next to everyone else, I feel so—so wrong.”

Azul’s gaze softened. He reached over slowly, placing a hand gently over yours.

“…I know that feeling,” he said quietly.

You looked up. “You do?”

He gave a bitter chuckle. “All too well. I used to avoid mirrors entirely. I hated how I looked in my merform. Hated how people saw me. I felt like I had to earn my value by changing myself. But no matter what I did… I couldn’t shake that emptiness.”

He shifted a bit closer now, warm and careful. “Your struggles are real. Just because they don’t fit what others expect doesn't make them less valid.”

You felt tears prick your eyes. “It’s hard not to compare myself to others.”

“It is,” he said, “especially when the world seems so determined to make us feel like we’re never enough.”

There was silence again—but this time, it was soft. Safe.

Then he smiled, tentatively. “But to me… you’re not too little. You’re not lacking. You’re you. And I’m grateful for every part of you—your wit, your kindness, your heart, and yes, your body too.”

Your breath caught in your throat.

“You don’t have to change a thing to be beautiful,” he added gently. “You already are.”

You finally let yourself lean into him, his arms curling around your frame without hesitation or worry.

“I’m trying to love myself,” you whispered.

He pressed his forehead to yours. “Then let’s do it together.”

#tw body image #tw body issues #twst #twst x reader #twst yuu #twst wonderland #twst incorrect quotes #twst headcanons #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst azul #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto

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natsarrownecklacx · 5 months ago

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For When You Feel Alone

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word count- 2,031

Summary- An ‘open when you feel alone’ letter written to you from your mom, Wanda.

Warnings- Talking about feeling alone, mentions of almost breaking a leg jumping out a window ( not in a serious way in a funny way ) very fluffy sappy writing. R is referred to as Elizabeth / Ellie in some parts :)

Ngl I think Wanda is the kind of mom we all want :/

ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ

Open When You Feel Alone <3

Dear Elizabeth,

Hey Sweetheart, it’s Mama.

I would like to start this letter off by asking how you are, but if you're reading this, then sadly I already know the answer.

My poor sweet girl, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. It pains me to even think of you feeling so alone.

Before I get into this, before I go any further I need you to know something, I just need to say it, need you to hear it. I love you so, so very much.

Now, don’t be mad. I know when I asked if you’d like me to write you these letters for when you went off to college, you’d said not to. You told me that you would be okay, that you are a grown up now, that you are strong and independent and can take care of yourself.

I still remember the exact look on your face while you said those words. The pride and confidence behind them really shone through your eyes. I knew then that you were ready to leave home, I could see it in you. You were ready to take that leap and go out into the world, ready to find your place in it.

I know you, sweet girl, I’ve watched you grow up, from the sweetest baby into the most wonderful grown woman you are. I know how capable you are. You’ve worked so hard to get to where you are now and I am so so proud of you, everyday in fact.

That being said, I am still your mother and you will always be my baby. So I hid this letter, along with a few others, in your suitcase before you left.

Which, might I add, was no easy task. The first time I tried to get a few of these letters safely in your suitcase I attempted to pull off an Avengers level stealth mission to try and sneak them in there while you weren’t at home.

I knew what I was doing, suggesting that you take Billy and Tommy out for ice cream. I knew it would give me the time I needed, not only to clean up after your two little brothers but also to get this where I knew it needed to be. What I did not, however, anticipate at all was you coming back so early.

Basically, to make a very long and embarrassing story short, when I heard the front door open and shut, I panicked for absolutely no reason. It was a level ten, metaphorical sirens blaring, palms sweating, hands shaking, type of panic.

Then I heard all three of you coming up the stairs and my cognitive thinking just seemed to evaporate…so I launched myself, head first, out your bedroom window.

Don’t worry, I did catch myself before I hit the floor on that two story drop, in fact I seemed to make it out of the ordeal with little more than a bruised ego. Although, I’m not quite sure if I’ll ever recover from having to explain to your aunt Agatha why I had to make that jump. She laughed so loud all the birds from the trees in the garden all flew away in a hurry. She just couldn’t understand why I panicked so much, honestly neither could I.

But if this helps at all, if I’m right and you find my ridiculous behaviour as funny as I do, in any way, then the almost broken leg and what I’m sure will be years of listening to Agatha tease me is well worth it. Plus, I just wanted you to have this in case you need it, in case you need me.

It was my hope for you, when you were born, that you would always feel how much I love you, no matter how far we are from one another or for how long. Even if we ever had an argument of some sort, you must know I would still love you.

If you're reading this right now then that means I was right to hide this for you, but don’t let that deter you from reading the rest of this letter, mothers (at least when it comes to me and your grandmother) are usually right.

I suppose it’s just this sense that we have, or maybe a hope, that our children will always need us in some way or another and that we will always be there for them.

I’m still here for you Ellie, no matter how far we are from one another, no matter how long we’ve been apart. It doesn’t matter to me what you need me for, something big or small, I don’t care what time it is, if you need me I’ll be there.

I know that if you're reading this, you probably don’t feel like you can pick up the phone and call me to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you and that's okay.

I wish I could reach out right now and take you into my arms. To hold you, close to my heart, to keep you safe and warm. I wish I could assure you that you are not alone, sweetheart. I will always be with you, as you are with me.

But you deserve to have some time to think things over in your own way, by yourself and then you can come to me when you are ready. But please do come to me Elizabeth. I absolutely hate the thought of you feeling alone, or worse, as if you can’t reach out to me.

I know that you will want to try to figure this out on your own first and that’s okay. Maybe you will, I have every faith in you. Even so, you can still talk to me about it, even when, whatever this is, is all over. I still want to know how you are doing, what’s going on in my child’s lift, the good and bad.

I know it is hard to be away from home, I remember vividly how it felt when I had to leave your grandparents and uncle behind to go away for college.

I know how hard it is to be in a new place, with new people, learning new things. It’s scary and it can be a little overwhelming. It can also feel a little isolating, even when you're surrounded by people. Even when the people you are surrounded by are meant to be your friends…

Before you left we had a conversation about your friends, do you remember that?

I remember how upset you were, how alone you felt from the way they were treating you.

Do you remember what I did when you came to me crying because of it?

I took you into my arms, the way I always do when you're upset, and I held you. You wrapped your arms around me so tightly and cried for what felt like hours.

It’s never easy for a mother to see their child so upset, but I was so relieved that you felt safe enough with me to let yourself feel that way, to just let it all out and know that I had you.

After you were done crying, you explained to me what was going on, you yelled a lot and cried some more. You were so angry and so, so tired, I could see it in your eyes Ellie. I could feel the hurt and loneliness pouring off of you in constant motion. I could see it.

I remember you pacing and pleading with no one and nothing in particular to understand why anyone would treat another person that way, least of all why your friends would do so to you.

I remember watching you go through all of that, I remember how you got more and more worked up, until, eventually, you stopped. Everything in the room stopped, it was as if something in your brain had clicked into place and suddenly, everything you were talking about didn’t seem so big anymore.

You just took one big deep breath in and when you let it go I could see in your eyes that you felt more at peace. The loneliness, frustration and fear for how long those feelings would last, they were all still there, weighing on your mind. All of it. But it wasn’t as heavy because you had shared it with me.

I remember how proud of you I was, because you needed something, you needed me to be there to listen and to make sure you could break down safely. You knew you needed help and you came to me. I was and still am so proud of you for that.

I just wanted to remind you of that, not to upset you further, but to remind you of how important it is to let someone in. To allow someone to help. Even if it means I just sit on the phone and listen to you talk or cry or scream. I can do that. I can be there for you in whatever way you need because I’m your mother and that’s my job.

Even if what you need is for me to get into the car and drive to you, I can do it. You need me to bring your childhood bear with me, just for that bit of extra comfort? I have it ready to go, just in case. You want some of your comfort food, mama cuddles and a movie? Make room for me Ellie because I am on the way.

There isn’t a single thing I wouldn’t do for you sweetheart. I hope you know that. I need you to know that.

Right about now you're probably reading this thinking ‘oh wow moms so extra’ or ‘so cringe.’ ( At least that’s what the twins have been saying about me lately.) But what I’m saying is true, Ellie.

I know you well enough to know that, at this point, you are probably on the verge of tears but won’t let yourself cry.

You can cry if you need to, honey. It’s okay to let it out. I know you think you can’t because other people have gone through worse things, survived worse things and so you shouldn’t cry over something you deem as “small.” But there is no measure of pain. If you are upset, or tired, or overwhelmed, or if you simply just feel the need to cry. Let it out. It’s okay to cry.

It doesn’t make you any less capable. It doesn’t mean you are weak. It doesn’t mean you are looking for attention. It doesn’t undo any of the progress you’ve made. It doesn’t mean a single thing, it doesn’t have to.

Plus, it might make you feel better.

Honestly, Ellie I could go on forever and ever about how proud I am of you and how all I want in this world is for you to know how loved you are. How important and special you are. But I know that you don’t have all the time in the world to read as much as I could write about all of that.

So I just want to ask you to do something for me, just to put your mama’s mind at ease.

Please take care of yourself sweetheart. Drink some water. Get yourself something to eat, even if it’s just something small. If you're feeling up to it, go for a shower, I know you hate all the effort and time that goes into it but I also know that you always end up feeling just a little better after words. Put on some comfortable clothes. Try to get some sleep. Do whatever it is you need to do just to get yourself that little bit of comfort you need to make yourself feel better.

I trust you. I know you can handle this. I know you are so fully capable of taking care of yourself. Take things one step at a time, one breath at a time. You’ve got this Ellie.

I love you. Remember that always.

- Mama.

ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ <3 ᗢ

A/n - For the anon who commissioned this fic, I hope you like it love :)

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fluff #mom!wanda maximoff x reader #Wanda maximoff x daughter!reader #wanda maximoff x reader fluff

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penvisions · 4 months ago

Text

return the favor {chapter 26}

Pairing: Post-Outbreak! Joel Miller x Smuggler! Reader

Summary: Your trios journey comes to an end, but what comes next?

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: canon typical language, canon typical violence, description of anxiety, symptoms of anxiety, tense situations, miscommunication, misunderstandings, two idiots in love, kissing, face cradling, gratuitous amounts of fluff, confessions, sappy feels, reunited with lost loved ones, i think that's it

A/N: and that's a wrap on this, y'all!! thank you so so so much for sticking with me on this one, it was my first foray back into writing fanfic and my first ever ppcu fanfic. this one will always be special to be and i am so proud of myself for sticking with it when times got tough, but then again- this truly helped me through a lot of them ♡♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || nagivation || ko-fi

Everything almost seems alright with the world, with the decisions that had been made, with the bonds that had been forged and tested as the gates of Jackson loom in the distance. The people milling about within them, along the massive wall that is a symbol of protection and safety, the land within it ripe with opportunity for a second chance, even in the end of the world. You turn to Joel, who already has his gaze trained on you. Emotion swirling in his eyes, a small lift to the right side of his face that reveals a dimple you knew hid there amid his untamed scruff.

He closes the gap between you, hands reaching for you. His palm is rough on your face as he cups your cheek, but you don’t mind. He searches your eyes, jumping from one to the other and then to the girl standing a bit away and focused on the settlement down the ridge. She’s standing relaxed, her body no longer pulled taut and the weight of what happened no longer burdens her shoulders. She’s a little more reserved, but giggles and jokes can still be drawn out, hands held in moments of rest. Even if they are a bit subdued, it’s a good sign that she’s healing. That you were all healing.

“It’s the best option.” He repeats, the words spoken numerous times when discussing what to do once the skyline had opened up at the crest of the mountain.

“We don’t…we don’t tell anyone.” You speak lowly, not ashamed in the slightest of how things had turned out. You had warned her, but the woman hadn’t wanted to listen then tried to hold you hostage.

“You did what you had to. She had you locked up in a room, she wasn’t gonna to let you go. She wasn’t gonna let you come back to me or rest until Ellie was strapped to that operating table. I believe you, I know you.” His voice is strong, conviction calming you as you even as you feel like there’s something else he wants to say. All you can do is nod, worry easing as you glance over at Ellie as she stares down at the town in the valley. Memories play in your mind and you close your eyes as Joel leans forward to press his lips to your forehead.

Marlene had forced your hand by threatening the lives of those standing with you now. She had threatened your future, their future, the chance of reconnection with your own long-lost family and the one that was forged in the journey across the ravaged land that was the world. Marlene had brought her about her fate, reaching for too much and demanding compliance from someone who had too much to lose.

The explosion had surely taken out everyone she had gathered there, save for the surgeon and his daughter. Whose journals were secured in your bag and had been waiting in the office you had rushed to, his daughter clutched tight to his side as he eyed the calm way you had rushed in there to retrieve it.

He had helped you, seeing the mission clearly for the first time in years. His doubts and stipulations manifested in the questions you posed with such confidence, in the words you lent for him to see the truth in what was attempting to be done. You could only hope that they find peace now, somewhere safe to call home in the ruins of the world. Hell, maybe they’d show up at the very valley you were on the crest of one day.

“We don’t tell anyone.” Joel repeats the words, confirming and agreeing. Seeing the fear of being turned away for your actions. Though not remorseful, the morality of the situation is steeped in shadows. He’s sure Tommy would see it for what it is, but Maria may have a different view, the counsel may have a different view. But there are spaces for you both to fill, for Ellie to occupy. A life for all three of you within the walls, promised to you on your departure.

The gates are open as soon as your figures are spotted across the open field that allows for a good vantage point in front of them. Calls for Tommy, for your cousins, for Maria can all be faintly heard as you near them, cross through them, and they finally shut behind you with a sense of finality to the long journey started so long ago.

One that you had never anticipated beginning but were grateful for all the same.

Ellie is holding tight to your hand, so small in your own as you spy fast movement and tense up. It’s quite the commotion, those close by turning to watch the scene unfold as you and Joel receive quick once overs, you assure Maria and the others on the counsel that came to the front of the town that Ellie was clean as well.

She keeps her hold on you even as your cousins’ approach, breath fast with how they dropped what they were doing and ran to greet you. They both stop just a few feet away, not wanting to startle her or you by throwing themselves into embracing you. It’s still so new, this relationship- this bond that you had failed to set out in search of. Growing too comfortable in Boston and the imitation of life it had provided for years, decades. But Ellie drops your hand and nudges her head toward them with a small smile.

The young girl rushes you, long arms reaching around your neck while her brother embraces you both tightly from the side. Before you’re swathed in their hold, you see Ellie’s eyes fall to her feet, hands shoved into her jean pockets with hunched shoulders.

“We made sure to have a house big enough for you, we would love to help you get settled even if we’re pretty new here ourselves and you’ve been here before.” Adela speaks in a fast manner, excitement obvious as she leans back. It’s so different from the almost spiteful anger you had first seen from her, even more so from the desperate way she had asked you to not leave them after only one afternoon together. She’s holding herself tall, her height and slender limbs giving her an air of grace that she wears well. She truly does look beautiful, long dark tresses and fair skin decorated with freckles about her cheeks. Like her mother, who you hoped at least found peace in her passing.

Angelo is watching with a small smile on his face, glad that his little sister is feeling better- safer in this community when the last one had turned out to be so dangerous. Your heart flutters at the thought of a home, of going to sleep each day in the same bed, the same place. Of waking up in the same bed, same place….beside the same person and he was watching the whole scene.

You could feel the air tense, your cousins not knowing that they inadvertently stepped on one of the loose rocks that line the road you and Joel walk on together. But you hug her back, tightly holding her to you in another embrace. She deserves to have a good life, surrounded by people who love her, care about her, who can protect her. You’d try your damn best to give that to her, grateful that they had safely made the journey here so you could all get to be a family. “We can talk about it, okay?”

You wanted to talk with them both, to learn what they had been doing, how they had managed to make it this far- twenty years and counting after Outbreak day. Because not everyone did and you feel their loss every single day.

“We’ve got a good house for you two, nice porch out front and a converted garage in the backyard. If that is something that would be needed.” Maria speaks up, noticing the way Ellie isn’t holding anyone’s gaze and the slightly stilted air that’s cropped up at your cousin’s words. When your eyes find the man, he’s got a front on, but you can see the tension he’s holding in his body. You’ve traveled with him, laid with him, fought and protected him as he’s done for you. You know him- and he’s not happy.

“I think, for now, we all need to get a good meal in our bellies. It’s…it’s been canned food military food packs.” Joel speaks up, voice rough gravel, his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows thickly, hands reaching for one of yours to tangle his fingers with for a brief moment. Your stomach flips as you realize everyone caught the action. Maria ducking her head to hide her knowing smirk and Tommy grinning like a god damn kid with a new toy.

“How’d ya manage to get those?” Tommy barks a laugh that sounds so much like Joel’s it both warms and breaks your heart. Their paths couldn’t have diverted more, but you’re happy they found each other. They can begin to heal the rift that you hadn’t realized ran so deep, Maria helping to shine a light on it when Joel was less than talkative.

“Well, it all started with some lab monkeys…” And your words are like magic, Joel and Ellie’s lips turning up at one side while your cousins eyes widen. Despite the…rather unfortunate reality of having to choose who to live with everyone you loved was here, they were safe- and that was all that mattered as you all made your way to the mess hall.

You reach for Ellie’s hand again, linking them and following the mish mash of people that make up your family, people from Joel’s world and people from yours. The perfect blend, the perfect start to a new beginning not only for you and him and them, but for the girl who didn’t have a family. You looked over at her and pressed a kiss to her temple when you saw how glassy her eyes were. She had been alone for so long, but she was surrounded by people now.

It’s late, the sun officially set and you’ve settled on the back porch with Maria, she’s heavily pregnant and off of patrol duties for the time being. Committing her time to helping organize and plan things for the town through the end of the spring season. She’s glowing and you feel self-conscious as she carefully shapes the mess that is your ragged hair. Most strands were long enough to still put up in a bun, but it was choppy and dull from the jarring cut you had made and the dirty blade you had used.

He's showered, steel hair slicked back and a thick robe pulled over a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and plain shirt. He looks good, if not a little nervous as he seems to glance up the street in the direction you would’ve come from his brother’s house.

But you had taken a longer route, walking past the stables and pet the horses that were milling in the walk about pen. Now though…you think it’s time.

As soon as your feet turn on the street, Joel’s head turns in your direction. The streetlight just across from it catches the shine of your own washed hair, the copper strands already looking so much better.

He’s standing, stepping to the stairs that lead up the porch as you approach. Lips pursed ever so slightly and giving away the anxiety you know must be thrumming just underneath his skin.

“Darlin’, been waiting up for you.”

“Sorry, Joel…was just taking a moment.”

“You know you don’t need to apologize for that.” His hands are clenching into fists and then unclenching in a slow motion at his sides, one of the traits he had picked up to stretch out his broken hand as it healed. Or so you had thought, it was a tick of his, you eventually realized. And you hate that he’s so consumed by emotion to be exhibiting it now.

“I…um…I wanted to talk to you actually.”

“Was wonderin’ if we could chat?”

You both speak at the same time, voices layering over each other.

“You’re gonna stay with them, aren’t you?” It’s not an accusation, not in the slightest. But it’s almost a resignation as his voice drops in volume. Not being able to stand the sadness you see in his features, you take the steps quickly and stand on the one below the deck of the porch and reach for his hands. They’re warm from the mug he had been holding. Scars littering them and the one from the first night of the journey that led here looks irritated, no doubt the humidity still fading from the air.

“They’re my family, Joel.” You take a deep breath, chest warm and cheeks tingling. “But you and Ellie are too. You all mean so much to me. If…if I were to stay here, I wouldn’t want to do it as friends.”

The quiet that falls is heavy, tension thick in the air.

And then he’s suddenly hauling you up onto the porch and into his arms, lips pressing to yours as he holds you tightly to him. Your stomach swoops, your heart rachets against the inside of your ribs and you can’t help but smile into the kiss as you wrap your own arms around his neck. He’s passionate as he keeps pressing kiss after kiss to your lips, hands coming up to cradle the back of your head and the small of your back. He can feel the tremors of your muscles as you arch into him.

When you part to catch your breath, the words you’ve held onto tight surge up as you gaze into the beautiful brown of someone who you only caught sightings of once upon a time. There was no way to anticipate the turn of events that altered the entire trajectory of your life- leaving you standing here in front of him with endless praise and love.

But he beats you to it, his own lips pressing together as he takes a deep breath to center himself, hands holding you tight and eyes looking right back at you as you look up at him.

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you. You’ve been a tremendous help since we ran into you all those months ago, me and Ellie��I don’t know where we would be right now without you. I…Bean, I love you.”

Heat takes over your entire chest, blooming there as you feel happiness you never thought you’d feel again, life granting you another chance to experience something good.

“Well, guess I should return the favor then and tell you I love you too.”

He’s licking the words out of your mouth the second their out, striking arousal up your spine like a match being lit. He murmurs your name between devouring kisses, and between it all you feel like you’ve made it home. Like you can begin to create a safe life here with the man who Joel Miller blossomed into on the journey it took to get here.

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