#existential crisis post reveal

[lavenoon]

No wonder ac y/n is confused, there's (in their mind) three separate celestial themed robots running around, surely that sort of thing is common everywhere

"Average person knows at least 1 celestial animatronic" factoid actually a statistical error. The average person knows less than 1 celestial animatronic, Y/N, who lives in a duplex with two of them and knows 3 in total, is an outlier and should not have been counted

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Character development is using other people’s failures and instead of just ha-ha reacting actually applying it to the decisions I make in my life

[daydreamerdrew]

Showcase 96’ (1996) #8

[inbarfink]

So one of the cool and interesting ways ‘Steven Universe’ used to try and balance being both a series of 11-minutes episodes that each have their own satisfying emotional resolution and being an overarching story with complicated character arcs that take multiple seasons to resolve is the… I’m going to call it the ‘Not Quite Right Lesson’ episodes. Episodes where a character kinda learns a Very Important Lesson… but a more careful and retrospective look at the situation shows that what they learned is not Quite the Right Thing for them. They internalized something in that adventure which just ended up causing more Emotional Troubles for themselves farther down the line.

‘The Test’ is the most classic example. 

As a standalone thing, it’s just a sweet episode about Steven learning to accept that his caretakers are also flawed and confused and figuring this shit up as they’re going along just like he is, and then doing a nice thing for their sake.

But looking back at this episode, it is quite obviously the nadir of Steven appointing himself as the Family Therapist and repressing all of his problems so he could better help the Gems’ with theirs. Like, there have been some early warning signs for this Complex, but this episode is the one that really cemented that idea in his mind and probably the reason it took him like the Entire Rest of the Show Including a Post-Finale Season to really untangle it.

But… also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the episode right after that, ‘Future Vision’. I think it’s also a very important ‘Not Quite Right Lesson Episode’ for the character of Garnet, and to some extent, the Crystal Gems as a whole. In many ways, it is to the CGs' character arcs' what 'the Test' is to Steven's.

So in this episode, Garnet reveals to Steven the fact that she has Future Vision. She hoped that telling Steven a little bit more about herself and being honest with him will lead to a greater understanding and a greater bond between them… but it backfired. It just led Steven to become a total paranoid, terrified wreck stuck in a total existential crisis.

And it seems like the lesson Garnet learned is that… she should’ve never taken that risk at all. That it would’ve been better for everyone if she just kept Steven ignorant of the truth forever.

Extremely reinforced with the ending of the episode, where Garnet chooses to once again hide an uncomfortable truth (that he just came very close to dying again) from Steven, for the sake of his own ‘peace of mind’.

So, like, the Gems were already hiding uncomfortable truths from Steven since day one. “If you could only know what we really are” and all of that. But I think… With the actual truth of Homeworld encroaching on them more and more at this point of the story arc, this would’ve been a great time for the Gems to reconsider their attitude and actually Explain to Steven What the Hell is Going On. 

But instead, I think Garnet saw the events of ‘Future Vision’ as a reinforcement of the idea that there’s just some things Steven is Better Off Not Knowing. Actually being frank with him about Homeworld and the Diamonds and the War right there and then, that would have just overwhelmed Steven with fears and worries and would’ve ended up doing nothing but hurting him. And Garnet can’t accept that possibility, not again.

And so, Garnet, alongside Amethyst and Pearl, keep all these truths from Steven as long as possible. Only revealing bits of information when they have to. For Amethyst it’s about her emotionally-evasive attitude (also, she legit doesn’t know all of that stuff herself). For Pearl it’s about how she learned to romanticize Rose’s own fucked-up obsession with secrets. For Garnet, with her usually very direct attitude and preference for the most straightforward solutions, I think it’s very much the events of ‘Future Vision’ that were still playing in her head every time she had the choice to actually Explain something to Steven and decided not to. 

But that, indeed, was Not Quite the Right Lesson. While being bluntly and directly told by Garnet all about the Many Ways He Could Die caused Steven to go into an anxiety spiral and an existential crisis for an episode - the way the Gems have been consistently secretive and evasive with Steven ended up causing him so much more emotional grief to him in the long run. As all of these secrets ended up revealed to him in the most surprising, dramatic and traumatizing way possible.

And the secretive attitudes ended up driving a wedge between Steven and the Gems. 

Even after they promised to be more honest with him. Because the sight of Steven crying on the roof that day is one that Garnet can easily move away from. Because Garnet’s Not Quite Right Lesson was almost as difficult for her to unlearn as Steven’s own. 

But after the big confrontation at the start of the Zoo Arc, Garnet ended up being the most upfront about the Crystal Gems’ history. Almost overeager to share what she knows about the past.

I mean also, again, Amethyst just has less to tell and Pearl is hiding secrets for reasons beyond her control - but I think it’s also important to consider from the perspective of Garnet’s arc.

Because the fallout of the Pink Diamond Reveal is very much centered around Garnet (or, well, Ruby and Sapphire). That was the Truth that was hidden from her 'for her own good'. And at the end of the day, despite all the grief that unveiling that truth has caused

It has also brought them, all of them, a lot closer.

There's a reason why 'the Truth' is Garnet's Final Missing Piece in the movie. It is as central to her character arc in the series as Lesbian AngstTM grief over lost love is to Pearl.

And still, some remnants of the Trauma of 'Future Vision' remained...

After all, even the very last episode of 'Future' was centered around the Gems once again trying to hide things from Steven (at that case, their turmoil about him leaving) for his own sake

Even though it once again just caused Steven a whole lot of grief.

It's maybe notable that at the end of this episode, Garnet, once again, tells Steven what's waiting for him in his Future...

[darkpoisonouslove]

She just learned today who stole her baby. Let her process, goddammit!

[obscuretobyfox]

The recent UNDERTALE/DELTARUNE Newsletter revealed a ton of concept art for enemies, done by Splendidland! There's way too much to make individual posts on, so I'll just post all the art with notes here!

"My friend Samanthuel (aka Splendidland) did a ton of concept art for Chapter 2! Sadly I couldn't use all of it because many of the concepts didn't end up aligning with my final vision for the game, but the designs themselves are super amazing! I'm thankful I got to use any of them.

Specifically I really wanted to use the paint enemy as a miniboss, since I thought it would be really fun mechanic.

Below were her notes on all of them! She also provided ideas on how she thought they could be used." - Toby Fox

"I was given the broad theme of "cyber world" and told to pretty much just design whatever I wanted, expecting only a handful to actually make it in. I made all of these within a couple days, just making whatever came to my mind." - Splendidland

(From here on out, all quotes are from Splendidland.)

"01: Hacker Guy (idk what their name is), wants to discover the secrets of the world and has special abilities, though they aren't aware of them. "Hacks" by randomly smashing keys and even swinging their mouse around in the air, could keep escalating in silly ways.

02: Handsome Face...

03: When they stand over a spot that can be "hacked into", their cursor shaped head turns into a pointing finger. They don't notice this change, so it's up to you, the player, to help them."

"04: heheh....

05: Funny Egg, their body contains a virtual pet. Can the fate of this pet be altered? Maybe not... Has an existential crisis if the pet dies, as their body is a battleground of life and death.

06 :Broken Image, their life is in ruins

07: Recycle Bin

08: Trash Fly, represents uncollected "garbage data"

09: Kiss-kiss"

"10: Painter, would basically be like Adeleine but with crude ms paint effects, especially the airbrush."

"11: Diskette, spins in place until talked to. "despite my looks, i am totally unable to save your progress"

"12: some kind of "internet" thing idk

13: "Data", little icon like creatures who march onwards with unknown purpose. they take part in the festival."

"14: Popup. hides underneath a tile and springs upwards annoyingly. touching its forehead makes it return underground temporarily. a pest."

"15: Virus, its head sways back and forth as it tries to hover in the air."

"16:Anti Virus, is it a cop or a doctor? maybe they see you as an enemy as you're an "outsider"?

17:Corrupted data or something"

"18:"Cyber World", a rough vision of what a world inside a computer could look like

19:Cyber House"

"20: Masked Dancers, they participate in the festival, each colour has a different movement pattern and dance style. very rough concept" Which one is your favorite? Mine is probably the tiny data creatures!

[utilitycaster]

this is another "inspired broadly thoughts about veilguard, a game I haven't played" post (it is currently downloading!) but this time it's about, to be honest, epic/heroic fantasy in general, and Campaign 3 and especially Vox Machina.

I think having Vox Machina's mission kick off first chronologically (in a fun way - last to be introduced, but first to go) fits because while the Nein's story is about the change enacted by a small, determined group of people who rely utterly on each other, Vox Machina has always had powerful allies from their introduction to the audience, though not, to be fair, their inception in the home game.

Vox Machina's story in campaign 1 ends with Vasselheim behind them - they are the strike force, but they can call upon bastions defending the city. Devossa and members of the Slayer's Take join them in the final battle. Gilmore, Allura, and Kima have their backs. The same is true in their battle against Thordak, in which they're joined by Tal'Dorei's army, the Ashari, and again, Devossa, Zahra, and Kash. Whereas the Mighty Nein's most public and political victories are ones of mediation and crisis aversion taking place largely off the battlefield (the beacon, the reveal of the Angel of Irons cult, the treaty negotiations, and taking down Trent and the Volstrucker), Vox Machina's public victories concern threats to the realm that bring disparate groups together. (These themes continue quite nicely in the parties' post retirements, Vox Machina being comprised of key figures in Whitestone, the Tal'Dorei Council, Vasselheim, and of course the Ashari and the Mighty Nein's main institutional tie being to the Cobalt Soul.)

I'm very openly a Nein Girlie, but Vox Machina is also quite dear to my heart and I have a particular love for that aspect: for Vox Machina serving as the tip of a worldwide spear against existential threats. The world unites behind them, repeatedly, and they take that role seriously, dick jokes notwithstanding, and do not let their allies down. Indeed, I think the Briarwoods arc is a great example of them not letting their allies down even when they are let down by their allies. Vox Machina is often described as the most archetypal fantasy campaign, and I think that's valid, and there is something very satisfying and lovely about a Tolkien story in which the world comes together against great evil. I think those endings are often harder than endings like those the Mighty Nein had - a story of a small group succeeding against the odds tends to fit narrative patterns of, well, succeeding against the odds, whereas everyone banding together often comes with both victory and terrible sacrifice - but they are vitally important.

I've really loved the Exandrian Accord and the Grim Verity as factions within Campaign 3 - I'd honestly watch 5 more accord sessions and I'm not joking - and after seeing Vox Machina this episode, I hope that Bells Hells are able to honor their agreements the way Vox Machina has and continues to do so.

[mychemicalraymance]

i started this post so short and made it into a full on tour outfit camp/fashion post accidentally

hope everyone knows that gerard’s skirt suit tie is like. literally a vintage “women’s” tie. when middle class women entered the workforce with gusto the fashion of professionalism and suits etc had an existential crisis about what to do with the ties...... like the ties of skirt/women’s suits are specifically bows and ribbons.  i can’t give any sort of statement as to why, aside from the fact of arbitrarily and subtly keeping gendered difference while “copying” men’s standard dress and attempting to move away from 60′s professional dress, which was largely the same as women’s social and public dress. anyway. the fact of choosing this tie 

and the fact that the tie reveals itself to be a scarf only after the jacket is removed is amazing... idk. it reveals the distinction between men’s and women’s dress and how gender is forcefully adapted into all ways of life, even in movements to remove it. the same goes for the kitten heels, 

kitten heels are another perfect camp example of gender adaptation imo. heeled and uncomfortable, explicitly gendered but “professionalized”, largely considered frumpy to a certain degree and unsexual due to their low height. translating the professional uniform of men to women’s attire was a sort of a second wave assimilation approach to gender. 

50s’/ 60′s workplace attire, which emphasized busts, hips, and waist. 

and then the more 70′s / 80′s look of gerard’s tie and heels - boxy, “androgynous”, padded and square shoulders, adopting suit jackets and patterns

the tour (mostly the dresses and skirts, designed outfits) has been largely 70s to me, even with the explicitly  60′s and ww II looks.

 they’re incredibly boxy and have a “boyish” silhouette, a hallmark of women’s fashion of the 70s, considering women’s lib and the gender revolution. it’s so cool to see because part of that was a move TOWARDS androgyny, and now even the pants looks are identifiably “women’s” or androgynous.  even the sunglasses are “women’s”.  

“women’s” sunglasses, “women’s” ties, and “women’s” specially adapted uniforms, be it nurse or office worker. all of these looks are seeded from the historical urge to de-gender and androgenize fashion, yet to our eyes it’s unmistakably “women’s” 

camp by my definition  in its purest form is the re-contextualization of needlessly gendered practices, society, and fashion, and the shifting context is used to satirize the  notion that things are “naturally” gendered and dimorphic. camp, when effective, describes the constructed nature of gender and sexuality. women’s suits DESIGNED to be "more masculine” are  by modern standards (well i mean. by modern feminist standards LOL) still obviously so far from the mark of “genderless”. it highlights the fact that gender is so insidiously woven into EVERYTHING, even  social efforts to be more egalitarian, so to speak. it makes us see the gender we quietly perform as “natural” in modern life. 

i’m not a fashion historian or anything else so if i’m wrong i’m sorry LOL. but i give such a huge fuck about gendered fashion in camp and also gerard way

[lairofsentinel]

Since this user's posts seem to have been deleted in previous opportunities I copy-paste their words here because they express exactly what I feel about this game. Dragon Age has died, unfortunately.

I'm a big time Dragon Age lover and have enjoyed every game in the series. Personally, I think Inquisition is the best in the series. And I was excited for Veilguard right up until I actually began playing it. Now, I want to clear things up at the start as to what I look for and believe makes a good Dragon Age game. To start, I DON'T CARE ABOUT COMBAT. I. Do. Not. Care.

You can make it Origins tactical. DA2 fast tactical. DAI hybrid. God of War action, I don't care. Dragon Age has always had combat that was...fine. A nice distraction and breakup in between the bits I actually care about: narrative ROLEPLAYING, story, characters, and exploration. I don't give a crap how great the combat is if the narrative roleplaying and writing are poor, I'm not playing BioWare titles for amazing gameplay. I am here for the story, the characters, and the roleplaying. Truth is, for a time I considered DATV's combat to be the best in the series.

And this is why I feel the game is a terrible Dragon Age, because it lacks or fails to respect those elements concerned with narrative roleplaying, story, characters, and exploration. Now, in many reviews and online videos you'll hear some reference often to the drop in writing quality. And a lot of time people will incorrectly say that the writing with the characters is to "modern" or "Marvel quippy" or not "dark" enough. I think these people are wrong, they recognize there is a drop in writing quality from previous games but aren't able to articulate why that is.

Dragon Age has never adopted any sort of faux medieval speech and vocabulary (though we'll get into this more later). This is a series that used "epic fail" as a thing someone uttered in the very first game. It's always had anachronistic dialogue and banter. So why is it such a drop then? Why is it considered poor? Simple. This is a game that does not believe in the world it has setup for over a decade. It does not believe in or engage properly with its own world and lore. I mean, look no further than the title "The Veilguard" a phrase that is never uttered by anyone in our group, and further proof it was a last minute marketing change. Compare to Inquisition where the title is apparent from the start in the game and has actual meaning.

You see, characters in DATV do not feel or react to events the way they should based on the lore. Why is no one constantly asking what the hell the Inquisitor is doing? The Inquisitor is kind of a BIG DEAL when it comes to Solas and Elven Gods, my Inquisitor drank from the WELL OF SORROWS! So why are we sitting around thinking at the start, "hmm lemme think who I can contact who might know more." The Herald of Andraste! They know more Rook, the guy that is technically your boss. The Inquisitor! Who else have you been working for this entire time? Who do you think told Varric to recruit you?!

But even removing the Inquisitor, the Elven Gods being real and also near synonymous with the old Tevinter Gods is kind of a BIG DEAL. It was only a theory fans crafted long ago that slowly revealed itself to be true. And it completely upends known religious dogma on all sides. Yet, why aren't people we meet going through a massive existential crisis? For instance, the Veil Jumpers we initially meet were presumably told off-screen about Fen'Harel, and are seemingly cool with this massive knowledge alone. But then we talk about those two other Gods being released and they're like, "well, shit those two aren't good." As if they have any clue if the fables about those Gods are real when we previously just upended everything they thought about the Dreadwolf! Why are you acting like this is another Tuesday?! Your entire religion is wrong. In that same conversation, Strife notes "Solas might be a bastard, but compared to the Evunaris? Let's just say they weren't know for being kind rulers."

My brother in Anduril, what are you talking about! Elven religion teaches that Elgar'nan was so beloved by the Earth that it "the land brought forth great birds and beasts of sky and forest, and all manner of wonderful green things." And that he fought the jealous Sun that tried to burn the land and all beasts away. Custom says that he and Mythal, "created the world as we know it" after defeating the Sun. He is literally described as one of the "good" Gods. WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING HE IS EVIL! It's like finding out Satan is real, but not as evil as have come to believe and then being told Jesus Christ is back and a devout Christian going, "well shit, that can't be good." WHAT?!

The same goes for Andraste and the Chant of Light, it took me 30 hours of playing before ONE character mentioned Andraste and the implications with the Chant and it was never brought up again. Our entire party is seemingly made up of unphased atheists. Now compare to something like Inquisition which explored this aspect HARD and was amazing for it. You'd get into great debates with religious figures and party members about the implications of Corypheus actually being a Tevinter Magister of old. And you'd talk about what it means towards the religious dogma preached and how much is true. And these intense political and religious discussions are present in every previous game, and not confined to a single conversation with one party member where it is seemingly resolved.

These conversations do not happen in DATV because there is no depth to the writing or engagement with the world. The Elven Gods are evil and need to be stopped. That's it. We don't need to think about the implications this has on Dalish customs and religion. Fuck it, all the Dalish are going to still wear their Vallaslin slave brand tattoos. Let's forget about Trespasser implying Solas was removing them from followers coming to join him. Let's even forget they were likely all told at this point that they are slave brands, nope still going to wear them yet speak blasphemy with every sentence against our Gods. No one cares about Andraste or The Maker or the Chant. Big deal if these Elven Gods contradict the overwhelming majority religion in Thedas. Not a single party member has religious or cultural objections to killing the Elven Gods; not a problem. Not one single elf wants to join Solas in tearing down The Veil and getting immortality again?

Again, let's forget about Trespasser setting up Solas gathering MANY Elven followers from Dalish clans who would be super inclined to join him after experiencing CENTURIES of discrimination and slavery by humans. The better question is what Elves wouldn't join Solas at the start? And what Elves wouldn't look at the other two Gods and go, "meh, maybe we should give them a try. They can't be worse than humans, right?" In DA2 you had elves joining The Qun to escape the discrimination of humans, but not ONE ELF wants to join Solas or Elgar'nan? Those Ancient Elves in the Temple of Mythal? I guess they all died, right?

This extends to EVERY single element of Dragon Age that previously had depth to it, it now has been completely removed. Those murdering Antivan Crows? Oh, they're just good Italian Mob Family that protect their city. Tevinter? Yes, it has poor people, but we're trying to do better. Oh, slavery? No, no we don't show that here. The Qun? The what now? No, they are all Antaam now, and so that means they are all generic evil warlords. No, they don't even attempt to follow their own hardcore view of The Qun like when Templars split from the Chantry, they're just warlords now that like plunder. Dwarves and their rigid Caste society? We don't do that here. Elves and racism across Thedas? Elves used to experience racism? News to me, what's a Shemlen? Never heard of that term, we like all humans. Pirates? That is insensitive, we are Lords of Fortune and we are sure to return any cultural artifacts found to their rightful owners; it belongs in a museum after all. The fucking Fade and spirits? Wait, you mean its different than generic fantasy spirit world? I'm sorry, that's too complicated here.

This either intentional disregard of the lore or plain ignorance also extends to environmental design. The asset reuse from Inquisition is particularly hilarious and must speak to the developers not having time after the switch from MP. Why are the same statues found in Val Royeaux in DAI also in Tevinter and Antiva? Why are those stupid Fen'Harel Wolf statues EVERYWHERE? Even in the catacombs of other Elven Gods! There are no statues of Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain. Nothing for June or Anduril. Dirthamen. Falon'Din. Nothing. No, the only Gods that seem to get statues are coincidentally the ones who already had assets created for DAI or past titles that could be reused. Hmmm.

This continues into character designs too, why do the Veiljumpers and Shadow Dragons all dress richly? They are supposed to be poor as fuck. There's a codex entry about Veiljumpers finding a lost cache of old ancient elven armor and weapons and so boom they all get to dress like High Elven Lords and not the dirty, poor, wandering Dalish clans they are supposed to come from. Why do this? There isn't even an attempt to explaining why the Shadow Dragons, an organization supposed to be secretive, has branded clothing in bright rich colors and fabrics for all members. Naturally, it must be incredibly difficult for Tevinter authorities to not identify them.

This lack of depth and verisimilitude, naturally, affects all the characters. Because in this game you cannot roleplay and you cannot ask questions. In Dragon Age Inquisition, once you started the game, you could immediately interrogate Varric about what happened to every DA2 character despite the Inquisitor never meeting them, you know because it respects its players. You could speak to shop keepers, blacksmiths, your horse master. You could interrogate every single person to learn more about them and the world. The same goes for your player character in DA2 and Origins. You show in Denermin and find yourself knee deep in a quest to help Wade the Blacksmith craft the perfect armor. Here you can't actually speak to a single shopkeeper to ask questions and get some lore bits. You can't ask party members questions about their background, religious beliefs, upbringing, their factions, etc. You can't ask any returning characters any questions either about what they've been doing. Enter a brand new area? Great, you're not asking anyone questions about this never before seen place.

How does a lost Dwarven thaig survive every single blight? How are their immortal lichs in Neverra? How long has that been a thing? Why haven't they told anyone about the Elven gods or any other knowledge they've accumulated in an immortal lifespan? If immortality is so "easy" why can't Solas just do that to restore the Elves? Why are the Venatori, Tevinter Supremacists, following Elven Gods? Wouldn't that be a major identity crisis? Why would Antaam, who still preach the Qun, follow an Elven God that speaks blasphemy with ever breadth? Sshhhh, no questions. You get what is directly told to you and that's it, no follow-up questions.

Party members do not conflict with each other or interrogate each other's beliefs which is why their banter feels inconsequential and meaningless. Lucanis is a assassin, he kills people for money. The same organization that marked Zevran for death for failing a contract. The same one that took him as a kid and trained him to murder, often brutally, for coin. And yet no one really seems to care. He's just a nice Italian assassin from a nice assassin organization. Who cares. Let's instead talk about cooking, at length. Harding, a devout follower of Andraste, has no qualms with Elven Gods wreaking havoc on known religion. We get one conversation you can tell her to believe what she wants, and that's the end of that debate. Bellara also gets about two whole conversations about the conflict concerning her Gods wreaking havoc, both easily resolved. We don't need to think about any larger implications or doubt her loyalty when the Elven pantheon are seeking to restore her people that have been discriminated against since forever. Emmerich, a necromancer of Neverra, apparently has no religious belief. A codex entry even states that those of the Mourn Watch don't know where the soul goes after death. They don't like to think about it. Buddy, Mortalitasi belief is literally that our souls return to the Void alongside The Maker, but to keep balance a exchange must be wrought with The Fade to allow a spirit to house the now empty vessel. How do you not know the religion and customs of your own faction and land? This man has a whole quest line about funerary rights, yet not ONCE mentions religion and what he believes happens after death?! Sshhhh, no questions. No thinking.

Hey, remember The Fade? Remember how mages go to dream there every night. Remember how The Black City is always visible there? No? Well, we don't either. You won't see The Black City in The Fade. You might see it in The Crossroads in a closed off section, even though it is NOT The Fade. Oh, we're going to have you physically enter The Fade in multiple quest lines and no one will think it's a big deal. No, you still can't see The Black City. Now, The Fade is reduced to nothing more than your generic fantasy spirit world. It has none of the previous rules and lore that bound it before. Demons can bind to non-mages and we won't attempt to explain it. Solas fucks with The Veil and not a single mage notices a change in their dreams when they sleep at night. No biggie.

Lastly, let's return at last to the actual minutiae of writing. I stated at the start the writing isn't bad because of Marvel quippiness, which the series has always had. I was partly lying. Yes, the series has always had anachronistic dialogue. It has had meme language in its own previous titles. But, it was just that, a small joke here and there. For the most part the series actually tried to use it's own sort of "older" speech patterns. I think a perfect example has to do with Taash, she eventually finds her own identity and declares she is proudly "non-binary." Literally stating, "so, I'm non-binary." I have no issue with this sort of inclusivity in Dragon Age, it's what the series is known for. Yet, why does that sound wrong? Simple, it's far too anachronistic. It doesn't belong in Dragon Age. In Inquisition, Dorian let's us know he's gay. But he doesn't say, "I'm gay!" or "I'm a homosexual" those terms would not exist in his world. Instead he says, "I prefer the company of men."

And it's these little subtle changes in writing that makes it feel all the more different. We went from "I once ventured in to The Fade to serve the Old Gods of Tevinter in person. I found there only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. Now I shall return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world gone wrong. Pray that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods. And it was empty."

To: "Well, shit. That can't be good."

So, what do we have when all is said and done? Well, we have a decent generic fantasy action game. An intentional attempt by the developers to remove every edge from the world of Dragon Age in place of a very simple, easy to understand world with not much depth beyond what you see. You don't need to think, just play and have fun. This is beyond turning a MP game into a SP game, which so blatantly obvious in this game. DA2 was developed in 16 months, but is carried strong by its writing. You see, nothing prevented them from just acknowledging their own world they created. It costs very little to write around what already exists. Even if you can't make no assets or redesign the world. Writing is cheap and having characters voice these elements is not as costly as a redesign. No, they chose to remove the edge in every element because this was design intentionally for the masses with easy to understand world and zero depth.

But I wanted to play Dragon Age. I wanted to get into intense religious debates with party members as known lore is completely upended. I wanted to debate Elvish clans deciding to join Solas or the other Gods due to their treatment by human society. I wanted to debate the ethics of necromancy with the Mortalitasi of Neverra's Crypts. I wanted to engage in intense debating with Solas on the ethics of his goal. I wanted to see Tevinter react to a real push for anti-slavery and actually see the slavery in the slave capital of the world. I wanted to butt heads with the Antivan Crows and call them out for the murderers they are. I wanted to see the Black Divine and debate the Chant of Light with them. I wanted to speak to the Archon of Tevinter and see how he felt about the Venatori's past efforts in Inquisition. Hey, what happened to Meredith Reborn in Kirkwall and her idol and Red Templar worshipers? Forget about it.

We got none of this. I got a game that is pretty much disrespectful of its own world. I waited 10 years for this? Why even bother if this is the result? They may as well have just killed every previous character we ever knew, including Solas, offscreen and started anew with this game. Because as a Dragon Age game and sequel, it's terrible and no returning character is how they should be.

And when we get to the ending, that's pretty much what they did. Everything you did in all the past games? Well, that was pointless. Everyone is probably dead. King Alistair. Gaspard. Celene. King Bhelen. The Arl of Redcliffe. The Divine. The Circle of Magi. The Templars. The Seekers. Everything, everyone, and every organization that existed in the South is likely dead and destroyed. And now Dragon Age can become what they wanted, a generic fantasy IP.

But I just wanted to play Dragon Age.

[seishiroses]

I love Nagi being a "I didn't sign up for this crap but fml the crap is starting to feel interesting and move me in mysterious ways" protagonist. Like:

And while that's common with the lazy genius trope, where it actually gets super interesting is when Nagi starts to really ask himself why he is feeling this way, and what is it that he even wants:

This panel below is really cool, not just because it definitively marks Nagi's transformation from a passive to an active character in his own story, but also art-wise I love the grey and black smoky tendrils curling around him. It creates an aura of something really dangerous, like poison gas, like he's not human (a bit like Venom in Spiderman?)

Dark smoky auras are not new in manga but I particularly like the way Blue Lock does them. And how it uses effects like these to depict a character's overall mood or the perception they give to others. Like look at Isagi's face here he looks like he's watching a scorpion shed it's skin.

I think effects like these are especially useful for a character like Nagi since his facial expressions are designed to hide more than they reveal. But I also like that they are used sparingly. We don't see the smoky darkness or skull aura all that often, at least early on. Because unlike other characters, Nagi feels his main character energy quite inconsistently, in between a lot of very "bored/tired/it's a pain/I don't wanna" moments. So those sudden bursts of pride or determination feel all the more impactful.

I think Nagi in the current timeline needs a hard reset back to the line of questioning and soul searching we see in the panels above. He kind of is getting there (post-match conversations with Rin and Barou) but the danger is that the stakes are too high now and will not allow him all the time in the world to figure it out.

The problem is very relatable especially if you're someone who cannot settle on what to do with your life and why, while everyone around you seems to be laser focused and driven and knowing exactly what they want. And sometimes even though certain moments can stir your soul, they don't necessarily help you magically find motivation in the long term. But time is running out and you'll get left behind if you don't figure it out soon.

In moments I do feel like the slow-burn existential crisis which defines a lot of Nagi's journey is frustrating, but then I realise that shit is even more frustrating IN LIFE, and so this is actually more realistic than I thought. 😔

[tyrsvault]

Haircut

Pt. 2

Pt 3 ⬆️

Pt 1 ⬇️

[eremorte]

thronecoming heritage hall gifts (rewritten)

The Thronecoming heritage hall gifts bug me. Most of them don’t feel like a parent has gifted them. They are so uninspired for the biggest moment in their child’s life.

I’ve listed my replacements below. I’m hoping for the gifts to have a, if had-to-do-it-again-here’s-what-I’d-want vibe.

blondie lockes

OG gift: running shoes

rewritten gift: a new piece of tech that helps her with her mirror cast. A shiny new microphone or even just a cute news reporter accessory that acknowledges her unintended break from destiny (or rather extremely developed hobby/career because her story can be over in like 30 minutes) it also gives off the initial impression that blondie’s story is “just right” the way it is until.. boom! There’s a note.

That mentions that as Goldilocks has reflected on her role and how she regrets hurting the bears the ways she has* and with an extra perceptive daughter like blondie she is sure to find a worthy story (within bounds) that won’t cause baby bear to develop a complex. *insert long list of things here that blondie could comment on in her stead because the story book of legends didn’t write every worthwhile critique of the bear house and the bears despite “forgiving” her won’t let her talk to them about this* and a small comment of how she is super proud about blondie that hopefully eases some of her attention seeking behavior so she’s less of a brat later on.

cerise hood:

OG Gift: picnic basket with an electronic mirror lock.

revised gift: honestly I have no comment. This is a great gift. My only question is how recently the presents are placed in the hall seeing as how that basket spit up a whole bird leg. Maybe it has a special note of the picnic menu they have in celebration once the whole shebang is done.

o hair twins:

OG gift floating hair brushes

rewritten gift given how Rapunzel’s story is that she was locked away her whole life because her bio mom ate a magical plant while pregnant that the witch wasn’t sure of the side effects of and had to lock her away because damn sure bio parents couldn’t do anything if the witch was second guessing herself. What I think should be there are odd bits an bobs function like an Easter egg hunt of a map and post fairytale notes one what they are that Rapunzel is certain her girls can figure out because they have her plant powers (though probably diluted hence the helpful notes incase they have to solve things like their adoptive grandma ).

briar beauty

NOW FOR THE GIRL WHO INSPIRED THIS POST. Her gift makes me so angry. It is the most nothing gift of the whole bunch. You mean to tell me that a hundred year sleep doesn’t come with any regrets at all? Not one thing?

OG gift A neck pillow.

revised gift: A SCRAPBOOK. The first few pages could be filled with pictures of her family. Bonus points if they’re are people Briar wouldn’t have gotten the chance to meet but knows who they are by virtue of her mom. It hits home exactly how big her sacrifice is. Also all the storybook imagery? The intro? Imagine if there was a dark time line where we were being told everything that happen through briar who missed all of it and is trying to piece back something familiar?

either way, mental breakdown and existential crisis guaranteed.

also bonus. It’s totally merchandisable. Half the book mercy was essentially scrapbooks/concept art anyhow.

Cedar wood: revealer rays

it’s a good gift but something she wouldn’t be able to use in her story at all. They are not subtle and most everyone who knows about Cedar knows that Pinocchio didn’t mess up her eyes to the point she’d feasibly need glasses. Revised gift: letters from the blue fairy (well wishes, maybe an helpful hint or two) Gepetto and Pinocchio (things to to try (and not repeat) once she’s no longer wooden and how to lie effectively) I can’t think of a physical possession for Cedar to have. But I feel she’d appreciate these. Maybe a special cricket/donkey whistle?

duchess swan:

no gift shown but what I have in mind is a mix of briar and blondie’s gift.

a collection of letters (written on leaves and paper or something) from both her mom and her bio dad detailing the bitter sweet love in the tragedy to reassure duchess it’s not all bad. And a special pair of dancing shoes for her last night as a human. I imagine this gift would only make duchess mad.

Madeline hatter:

no gift shown and honestly idk what the mad hatter gives his daughter it’s probably perfect. An old hat that looks very normal actually? A crazy new teapot? Who knows?

raven queen:

og gift wand wishing well coin

honestly I want to know the logic behind the wand. Is it a back up battery in case apple thwarts raven through zapping away her powers somehow?

I have multiple suggestions

Something that contains directions to the true SBOL

recipe for the poison apple

something that originally belonged to someone in the Snow White family that she is proud enough to share with her daughter (raven would probably give it back).

*blondie branches out mentions how Goldilocks promised to be a better person.

[houseofbrat]

Bernie Would Have Won

By Krystal Ball

There are a million surface-level reasons for Kamala Harris’s loss and systematic underperformance in pretty much every county and among nearly every demographic group. She is part of a deeply unpopular administration. Voters believe the economy is bad and that the country is on the wrong track. She is a woman and we still have some work to do as a nation to overcome long-held biases. 

But the real problems for the Democrats go much deeper and require a dramatic course correction of a sort that, I suspect, Democrats are unlikely to embark upon. The bottom line is this: Democrats are still trying to run a neoliberal campaign in a post-neoliberal era. In other words, 2016 Bernie was right.

Let’s think a little bit about how we got here. The combination of the Iraq War and the housing collapse exposed the failures and rot that were the inevitable result of letting the needs of capital predominate over the needs of human beings. The neoliberal ideology which was haltingly introduced by Jimmy Carter, embraced fully by Ronald Reagan, and solidified across both parties with Bill Clinton embraced a laissez-faire market logic that would supplant market will for national will or human rights, but also raise incomes enough overall and create enough dynamism that the other problems were in theory, worth the trade off. Clinton after all ran with Reagan era tax cutting, social safety net slashing and free trade radicalism with NAFTA being the most prominent example. 

Ultimately, of course, this strategy fueled extreme wealth inequality. But for a while this logic seemed to be working out. The Soviet Union collapsed and the Cold War ended. Incomes did indeed rise and the internet fueled tech advances contributing to a sense of cosmopolitan dynamism. America had a swaggering confidence that these events really did represent a sort of end of history. We believed that our brand of privatization, capitalism, and liberal democracy would take over the world. We confidently wielded institutions like the World Bank, IMF, and WTO to realize this global vision. We gave China most-favored nation trade status.

Underneath the surface, the unchecked market forces we had unleashed were devastating communities in the industrial Midwest and across the country. By the neoliberal definition NAFTA was a roaring success contributing to GDP growth. But if your job was shipped overseas and your town was shoved into economic oblivion, the tradeoff didn’t seem like such a great deal.

The underlying forces of destruction came to a head with two major catastrophes, the Iraq War and the housing collapse/Great Recession. The lie that fueled the Iraq war destroyed confidence in the institutions that were the bedrock of this neoliberal order and in the idea that the U.S. could or should remake the world in our image. Even more devastating, the financial crisis left home owners destitute while banks were bailed out, revealing that there was something deeply unjust in a system that placed capital over people. How could it be that the greedy villains who triggered a global economic calamity were made whole while regular people were left to wither on the vine?

These events sparked social movements on both the right and the left. The Tea Party churned out populist-sounding politicians like Sarah Palin and birtherist conspiracies about Barack Obama, paving the way for the rise of Donald Trump. The Tea Party and Trumpism are not identical, of course, but they share a cast of villains: The corrupt bureaucrats or deep state. The immigrants supposedly changing your community. The cultural elites telling you your beliefs are toxic. Trump’s version of this program is also explicitly authoritarian. This authoritarianism is a feature not a bug for some portion of the Trump coalition which has been persuaded that democracy left to its own devices could pose an existential threat to their way of life. 

On the left, the organic response to the financial crisis was Occupy Wall Street, which directly fueled the Bernie Sanders movement. Here, too, the villains were clear. In the language of Occupy it was the 1% or as Bernie put it the millionaires and billionaires. It was the economic elite and unfettered capitalism that had made it so hard to get by. Turning homes into assets of financial speculation. Wildly profiteering off of every element of our healthcare system. Busting unions so that working people had no collective power. This movement was, in contrast to the right, was explicitly pro-democracy, with a foundational view that in a contest between the 99% and the 1%, the 99% would prevail. And that a win would lead to universal programs like Medicare for All, free college, workplace democracy, and a significant hike in the minimum wage.  

These two movements traveled on separate tracks within their respective party alliances and met wildly different fates. On the Republican side, Donald Trump emerged as a political juggernaut at a time when the party was devastated and rudderless, having lost to Obama twice in a row. This weakened state—and the fact that the Trump alternatives were uncharismatic drips like Jeb Bush—created a path for Trump to successfully execute a hostile takeover of the party.

Plus, right-wing populism embraces capital, and so it posed no real threat to the monied interests that are so influential within the party structures. The uber-rich are not among the villains of the populist right (see: Elon Musk, Bill Ackman, and so on), except in so much as they overlap with cultural leftism. The Republican donor class was not thrilled with Trump’s chaos and lack of decorum but they did not view him as an existential threat to their class interests. This comfort with him was affirmed after he cut their taxes and prioritized union busting and deregulation in his first term in office.

Meanwhile, the Democratic Party put its thumb on the scales and marshaled every bit of power they could, legitimate and illegitimate, to block Bernie Sanders from a similar party takeover. The difference was that Bernie’s party takeover did pose an existential threat—both to party elites who he openly antagonized and to the party’s big money backers. The bottom line of the Wall Street financiers and corporate titans was explicitly threatened. His rise would simply not be allowed. Not in 2016 and not in 2020.

What’s more, Hillary Clinton and her allies launched a propaganda campaign to posture as if they were actually to the left of Bernie by labeling him and his supporters sexist and racist for centering class politics over identity politics. This in turn spawned a hell cycle of woke word-policing and demographic slicing and dicing and antagonism towards working class whites that only made the Democratic party more repugnant to basically everyone.

This identity politics sword has also been wielded within the Democratic Party to crush any possibility of a Bernie-inspired class focused movement in Congress attempted by the Justice Democrats and the Squad in 2018. My colleague Ryan Grim has written an entire book on this subject so I won’t belabor the point here. But suffice it to say, the threat of the Squad to the Democratic Party’s ideology and order has been thoroughly neutralized. The Squad members themselves, perhaps out of ideology and perhaps out of fear of being smeared as racist, leaned into identitarian politics which rendered them non-threatening in terms of national popular appeal. They were also relentlessly attacked from within the party, predominately by pro-Israel groups that an unprecedented tens of millions of dollars in House primaries, which has led to the defeat of several members and has served as a warning and threat to the rest.

That brings us to today where the Democratic Party stands in the ashes of a Republican landslide which will sweep Donald Trumpback into the White House. The path not taken in 2016 looms larger than ever. Bernie’s coalition was filled with the exact type of voters who are now flocking to Donald Trump: Working class voters of all races, young people, and, critically, the much-derided bros. The top contributors to Bernie’s campaign often held jobs at places like Amazon and Walmart. The unions loved him. And—never forget—he earned the coveted Joe Rogan endorsement that Trump also received the day before the election this year. It turns out, the Bernie-to-Trump pipeline is real! While that has always been used as an epithet to smear Bernie and his movement, with the implication that social democracy is just a cover for or gateway drug to right wing authoritarianism, the truth is that this pipeline speaks to the power and appeal of Bernie’s vision as an effective antidote to Trumpism. When these voters had a choice between Trump and Bernie, they chose Bernie. For many of them now that the choice is between Trump and the dried out husk of neoliberalism, they’re going Trump.

I have always believed that Bernie would have defeated Trump in 2016, though of course there is no way to know for sure. What we can say for sure is that the brand of class-first social democracy Bernie ran on in 2016 has proven successful in other countries because of course the crisis of neoliberalism is a global phenomenon. Most notably, Bernie’s basic political ideology was wildly successful electorally with Andrés Manuel López Obrador and now his successor Claudia Sheinbaum in Mexico, Lula Da Silva in Brazil, and Evo Morales in Bolivia. AMLO, in fact, was one of the most popular leaders in the entire world and dramatically improved the livelihoods of a majority of his countrymen. Bernie’s basic ideology was also successful in our own history.

In the end, I got this election dead wrong. I thought between January 6th and the roll back of human rights for women, it would be enough. I thought that the overtly fascist tendencies of Donald Trump and the spectacle of the world’s richest man bankrolling him would be enough strikes against him to overcome the problems of the Democratic Party which I have spoken out about for years now–problems Kamala Harris decided to lean into rather than confront. Elevating Liz Cheney as a top surrogate was not just a slap in the face to all the victims of American imperialism—past and ongoing; it was a broad signal to voters that Democrats were the party of elites, playing directly into right-wing populist tropes. While the media talked about it as a “tack to the center,” author and organizer Jonathan Smucker more aptly described it as “a tack to the top.” And as I write this now, I have zero hope or expectation that Democrats will look at the Bernie bro coalition and realize why they screwed up. Cable news pundits are already blaming the left once again for the failures of a party that has little to do with the actual left and certainly not the populist left. 

Instead, Trump’s victory represents a defeat of social democratic class-first politics in America—not quite final, but not temporary either. The Democrats have successfully smothered the movement, blocked the entranceways, salted the earth. Instead they will, as Bill Clinton did in the ‘90s, embrace the fundamental tenets of the Trumpist worldview. 

They already are, in fact. Democrats have dropped their resistance to Trump’s mass deportation policies and immigrant scapegoating. The most ambitious politician in the Democratic coalition, Gavin Newsom, is making a big show of being tough-on-crime and dehumanizing the homeless. Democrat-leaning billionaires like Jeff Bezos who not only owns Amazon but the Washington Post have already abandoned their resistance.

Maybe I will be just as wrong as I was about the election but it is my sense that with this Trump victory, authoritarian right politics have won the ideological battle for what will replace the neoliberal order in America. And yes, I think it will be ugly, mean, and harmful—because it already is.

[decepti-thots]

something that is very interesting rereading early MTMTE is that the comic is actually very much written with the assumption a ton of its readership are specifically pre-existing IDW comics readers, which can sometimes be difficult to remember because of the fact that a lot of people wound up coming onboard to MTMTE from outside the fandom in the end and now it has a reputation as an entry point as a result. this manifests in a couple ways throughout the first couple major arcs. one obvious one is that the Overlord stuff functionally makes it a sequel of sorts to Last Stand of the Wreckers, at a time no direct sequel was planned. but my favourite is that there's a kind of narrative trick the comic pulls with the leadup to the payoff Remain in Light gives us for Magnus.

the Magnus we get in early MTMTE is not the Magnus we get in earlier IDW comics. he's very exaggerated; where phase one Magnus is a by-the-books stickler for not so much as bending rules and someone we see struggling to maintain that sense of moral uprightness in the face of the war and the people around him being far less dedicated to staying on the straight and narrow like him, it's completely turned up to eleven in early MTMTE. phase one Magnus would not be doing endless doorframe audits, or throwing people in the literal brig for crooked badges. but this doesn't necessarily register as a change in character so much as a change in genre. MTMTE is also a dramedy with heavy emphasis on the comedy side of that in a way no other IDW comic is, and the shift in Magnus' characterisation therefore feels like 'well in THIS genre, that's what that archetype is like', rather than a diagetic shift in character. even if you come to MTMTE straight off those prior comics, it is very much a 'roll with the genre shift' thing rather than a 'hm. Magnus is acting… weird' thing. you let it go.

there are a couple indications this might not be the case early on. Rodimus especially seems to be under the impression that Magnus is acting uptight even for him, with his insistence on waving it off like 'he needs to relax, Swerve can you get him to chill on Hedonia because my guy is REAL stressed' and the like. (this makes sense- Rodimus is the person on the ship who has actually been directly interacting with Magnus regularly pre-MTMTE.) but it's not super obvious and not heavily emphasised.

which makes the eventual post-Overlord and RiL reveal, which is that Magnus has in fact been acting weird because he's having a breakdown that has largely gone unremarked upon by his shipmates, really really good. Magnus has not been doing doorframe audits because he's the comically uptight second in command acting as straight man for genre purposes; Magnus has been sending Rodimus a million memos a day and losing his shit over nothing because as someone whose entire identity as 'Magnus' is rooted in a wartime role he escaped into, he's been having an existential crisis now the war is over and he has no purpose and doesn't know what to do because he never expected to have to play that part in peacetime. the entire time the genre shift was somewhat obfuscating the fact this characterisation was a thing that is in-universe relevant, which also then reflects back on the fact Rodimus is like. hm. probably should have noticed that, now I feel like an asshole for not realising. (the scene where he and Rung discuss those unread memos, post-Overlord.)

it's a small thing, but it's a really effective misdirect for the payoff Magnus gets in RiL that reads a hell of a lot more clearly on reread and rewards that chance to revisit the early issues with that knowledge. of course that wasn't just a gag, of course he's actually slowly losing his shit slightly, he cannot go five seconds without making it clear he is Stressed As Hell. but until you get to that actual reveal, there's just enough room for the comic to let a reader assume it's, you know, we're in a comedy now, we need a hilarious straight man, and Magnus is it. it's great! all the stuff MTMTE pulls to simultaneously obfuscate the Magnus/Minimus reveal while also making it feel completely reasonable on reread is great. really good use of reader bias there.

[confusedblakex]

Soulmate AU Series: Katsuki Bakugo

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo X Reader (GN)

Summary: The day you get your soulmark, except you didn't find your soulmate the way you expected

Wordcount: 628

Warnings: Cussing (it's Bakugo)

Requested by: No one

Inspired by: This post by @dashielldeveron , this post by @haitani-trash and this post by @virtual--hug

Notes: Reader’s quirk hasn’t been decided yet, please drop suggestions in the comments and I’ll pick the one I think works the best

Last edited: 07th April 2023

Prologue

You woke up startled, your alarm catching you off guard. You’d stayed up late last night trying to wait until midnight, but you must have fallen asleep too early.

Cautiously, you looked yourself over, quickly spotting the words written on the inside of your left wrist in small, fine writing.

‘What the fuck?!’

You groaned to yourself. It definitely could have been worse, but it was also a somewhat generic phrase. You’d have to come up with a really good comeback for it, so they’d definitely know you two were soulmates… Unless you spoke first.

Wait, what if it was last words and not first words?

Deciding to leave it for now, you readied yourself for school, replying to text messages of congratulation as you were going.

---

You sat through classes that day as though nothing had happened. There were many people congratulating you and asking about your soulmark, but the hype calmed down as soon as they had figured out no one in the class had a matching soulmark type.

“I’m pretty sure Shinso has the first words soulmark,” Izuku offered, and while you thanked him for it, you didn’t really see the point. Fate would take it’s course, and today was only the first day.

“Sounds like something Bakugo would say,” Jiro joked with you at lunch, and you laughed with her. She wasn’t wrong.

You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but part of you was sad that your soulmate was no one in your class. Your eye has been drawn to a small few of them, and Bakugo was included. Yes, he very obviously had issues, but it was something you’d had a long time to think about. You’d liked to think he had a hidden romantic side, though that might just be you being hopeless.

Once you were back in class, you stood next to Jiro’s desk to speak with her and Tokoyami. The topics of conversation were the usual, and then the topic of your birthday on top of that.

“So…” Jiro stared.

“So?” You parroted, confused.

“Jiro and I got you a birthday gift,” Tokoyami revealed, a small smile on his face (beak?).

“Yep! We got concert tickets - for you and us, of course,” Jiro revealed, pulling three physical tickets from her bag. You noticed the pattern on them and were taken aback by the logo of your favourite music artist.

In your surprise and gratitude, you weren’t prepared to feel a smack against your rear. In a moment of uncertainty and annoyance that someone had ruined your moment, you spun around and smacked - who you expected to be Kaminari - square in the face.

It was not, in fact, Kaminari.

“What the fuck?!”

It was Bakugo. Ohhhh shit.

You didn’t take him to be the type of person to just go around smacking people’s butts. That, however, didn’t mean he didn’t deserve it still.

You were about to yell back, argue, when you were suddenly stopped by a burning sensation on your left wrist. You looked down to see your soulmark fade and disappear.

Bakugo must have felt it too, as the mark on his face was fading.

The room settled to silence and, though you were still furious, you were lost to confusion. Then it sunk in.

“You’ve got to be fucking with me…” he grumbled and proceeded to trudge over to his desk and sit down.

Conversation in the room slowly started back up, some people applauding you and others concerned for you.

“Well… I didn’t see that happening,” Tokoyami said as looked to Jiro, who looked back at him with the same look.

“Help, I think I’m having an existential crisis.” You muttered as you sank down to the floor, wishing to become a puddle.

---

Bonus:

“Are you kidding me?” Jiro groaned as she reluctantly passed the 2000 yen note to the yellow-haired boy.

“Did you really have to be so brazen about it?” She asked.

“Hey, it wasn’t simple!” Kaminari retorted, stuffing the note into his wallet,  “Getting Bakugo to stand there and then make sure no one saw? I think I did quite well,”

“OI! PIKACHU, I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THAT!”

“Oh shi-!”

[pigeon-paperweight]

My Kaku Good Guy Rant (help this is consuming my life) (this is very long)

(Spoilers for Water 7 and Egghead, obviously! I'll try and keep this in chronological order. I will mainly be using the manga for examples. This is gonna be lengthy, and ranty, and hyper-analyze...y. I will be using punctuation in this post for the sake of myself and everyone else.)

Let me start this off by saying: Is this the face of a man who hates his life?

Call me crazy (sarcasm), but I don't think so.

Kaku, though he is a Cipher Pol agent, is leagues away from any of the other Cipher Pol agents we've seen to date. The way he acts, the way he speaks, the way he treats others -- it all gets on my nerves because it makes me think he isn't so bad. But we've seen his actions! We've seen some of the things he's done and the bad people he is associated with! He's an evil person!

...Or is he?

Characters can do bad things, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are bad people, because things aren't always just black and white like that.

We know that Cipher Pol agents are taken in as children, and they are raised through the eyes of the government. They -- as messed up as some of these poor kids seem -- are conditioned to think in a way where the bad deeds they do are deemed 'right', just because they do so for the sake of 'justice'. They don't particularly know that what they're doing is wrong.

Part One: Water 7

When we see CP9 act during water 7, I've noticed that Kaku specifically was less involved in the brutal beatings of Iceberg and Paulie inside of the Galley-la mansion. He seems to stand to the side and let Lucci do the dirty work, along with all the talking.

At the end of chapter 344, Opposing Force, Paulie is seen bleeding with the blueprints in his hand. We don't see who beats him up, but it can be assumed that it was Lucci, due to him being closer to Paulie. Lucci is also the first to grab the blueprints from him. Kaku stands still in the background.

However, they could have both been fighting him, as Lucci says "Your resistance against us is futile..." although again, Lucci seems to talk for the both of them, as Kaku doesn't say a word up until Paulie reveals that the blueprints are fake. Even then, after that, Lucci still does the brunt of the talking.

In my opinion, it's highly unlikely that Kaku would beat up Paulie, because as far as I've seen, Kaku doesn't lay a hand on either him or Iceberg, aside from gently checking Iceberg's pulse.

What makes me think this? Well in chapter 345, Luffy, in casual Luffy fashion, busts in just as Paulie succumbs to the beating, to which Kaku attempts to catch Luffy with his Tempest Kick. Luffy dodges at the last second, but is apprehended by Lucci as he is stuck to the floor using metal prongs to hold him down.

Lucci then yells at Kaku to restrain Paulie, because this was "no time to be fighting (Paulie is nearly K.O'd and bleeding out on the floor)", and Kaku does this:

Notice those little lines next to his head? He's surprised.

Now, he could be surprised due to not thinking about restraining Paulie since he's literally already been defeated, but Lucci knows that Paulie could become a bigger problem if he got back up, especially with Luffy there with him. I picture Kaku as a bit of an extension to Lucci, and since they're both very smart, Kaku would know this too, wouldn't he?

Paulie could get up and free Luffy, or better yet free him and team up with Luffy to 'beat' the both of them. Kaku already knows that Paulie isn't dead, because Paulie's still conscious right in front of him, so why is he so obviously surprised at Lucci's order? Why was it so important to draw those little lines next to him?

Perhaps he was surprised because he was worried Lucci would tell him to restrain Paulie, and he was hoping he wouldn't have to.

Another reason for these little lines could be that Kaku could have been zoned-out, maybe having some heavy thoughts (regret, guilt, or some sort of existential crisis), and Lucci snapped him out of it by getting his attention.

Backtracking just a bit, back to chapter 344, right when Paulie reveals that the blueprints were fake, Lucci and Kaku understandably share a moment of shock.

Kaku, more so speaking to himself rather than anyone else (as he trails off at the end of the sentence), says: "What an idiotic thing to..."

This doesn't have to mean anything, as Paulie could be seen as both smart and an idiot for revealing this in front of them, however I like to think deeper into it, of course.

Kaku could have been calling this action idiotic due to the fact that he knew they would've had to kill Paulie afterwards, and that Paulie likely knew this too, and was just revealing this out of spite and to witness their surprise before he died.

Kaku's words seem a little out of place here. Lucci, of course, just goes straight into 'let's kill this guy 'cause he got on my nerves' mode, but Kaku's response isn't what I would expect. When I read this for the first time, not knowing that these two were in fact Kaku and Lucci, this just stuck out to me (it still sticks out to me, even now), and I can't exactly put into words why.

Again, this makes me think: "Why add this? Why is this so important?"

If they weren't so rudely interrupted by Luffy, Lucci probably would have finished the job and killed Paulie right then and there because Kaku was still standing around not doing anything and just adding random commentary.

One more thing from this chapter, then it's onward and upward from here! We'll get to the Zoro fight and Egghead soon enough!

When Luffy bursts in awkwardly through the wall, interrupting this uncomfortable encounter between the three of them, I stated earlier that Kaku tries to hit him with a Tempest Kick. Right before this, though, Kaku has a moment of hesitation before attacking Luffy.

Of course, as I've said, this can have little to no meaning.

But, can it mean something? Yes!

This little panel of hesitation could be a wave of guilt washing over Kaku, as he knows Luffy and the Strawhats weren't involved in the attempted assassination of Iceberg like CP9 made them out to be. He knows the Strawhats are good people, but he's just following orders. He's aware of the situation they've stuck Luffy with. This bit of hesitation could be him just further instating to himself that this is what needs to be done to get these blueprints.

When Kaku reveals himself to be one of the government assassins, he replies to Iceberg's disbelief with: "You're the one in the wrong. None of this would have happened if you'd handed them over to the government when it asked nicely."

That's rather depressing, combined with the expression on his face.

What is "none of this"? What does that mean? Almost killing Iceberg? Beating up your friends?

His sad expression is pushing me to think that there are more layers to this than just causing harm to Iceberg/Paulie/others.

Why would he need to justify that Iceberg was in the wrong? They were doing this for that sweet sense of justice, after all!

Perhaps the "none of this" really does mean this entire mission, as the whole reason CP9 was sent to Water 7 was to retrieve the blueprints from Iceberg. If "none of this" happened, Kaku would have never been sent to Water 7 in the first place. Makes you think about why he looks so sad, huh? He would have never gotten those five years of bliss.

Remember, Kaku was only 18 when he started the mission at Water 7. That is wild to think about, if you put yourself in his shoes. You aren't even fully developed yet, especially your brain by that time!

If you wanna dive even deeper into this, just think -- all of the other CP9 members are older than Kaku. Granted, Kalifa only has 2 years on him, but they weren't super close during Water 7, so disregard her for now. Lucci was 23 at the start of the Water 7 mission, for more reference of their age differences.

Lulu is 8 years older than Kaku, and Tilestone is 10 years older.

Paulie, however, is only one year older than Kaku. Paulie is his peer. His close friend.

I'm not saying that any of the other shipwrights weren't his friends, Tilestone and Lulu's behavior alone disproves that, however having friends -- especially when you're a teenager -- that are among the same age group as you is important, so it's a little easier to infer that Kaku has an attachment to Paulie, which could be a reason as to why Kaku isn't seen fighting him -- he grew up with him in those five years 'away' from CP9.

After it is revealed that the masked assassins were, in fact, Lucci, Kaku, Kalifa, and Blueno, Kaku is asked to check Iceberg's pulse to see if they can guess the whereabouts of the real Pluton blueprints. We can assume, that from this action, Kaku still respects Iceberg, as all of the other CP9 members have been treating Iceberg like a damn doormat.

Very polite. Just wanted to add this quick one in.

Then -- this is important -- shortly after that, we get this:

Mhm.

To me, here, Kaku is being genuine when he says this. The other members can say that they "don't have anything against Iceberg", but I believe Kaku is the only one who really doesn't have anything against him. He really is thankful for the opportunities Iceberg gave him during his time on Water 7.

Through his actions, Kaku is very obviously genuine, no matter how much someone wants to say he's not. Lucci + Co. beat Iceberg senseless, while Kaku, who could have very easily joined in with the other members, did not. He respected Iceberg down to the very last moment with him, much like I feel he did with Paulie, too.

The next few examples are going to be small, with little bits of my thoughts, because trust me, I really want to get to Egghead.

These examples are throughout the next couple of chapters.

Kaku's face, along with the bubble of an ellipsis at the sight of Paulie. Ouch.

Why does he look so disturbed from the action of hitting Zoro with his Finger Pistol? I'll say it again -- guilt?

Just wanted to add this in because it makes me sad. "Honing their skills to serve the government" is all they're good for, and they all know it.

Alright! That wraps this part up, now we're going to quickly touch on Enies Lobby and Kaku's fight with Zoro, because, honestly, not much needs to be said about the latter half.

Don't worry, the next parts will be shorter.

Part Two: Enies Lobby

I'm adding this section in after I've already finished the Water 7 part, and LET ME TELL YOU: I am currently high on 1 a.m. exhaustion-induced goofiness, and I literally had a dream about finishing this post last night so I'm WORKING ON IT NOW!! NOW!!!!

So please, if you could, excuse me. Me as a whole. Excuse everything.

ALRIGHT LET'S DIG INTO THIS!!!

So, like I mentioned just above the header for this section, I don't want to go too deep into this part, mostly because in my eyes the evidence speaks for itself (especially for the fight with Zoro) however I will go a little bit into some other parts that I find interesting.

EXHIBIT ONE!!! - 'Co-workers pressure you to eat mystery items? Hell yes!'

A bit unrelated, but I just wanted to say how I thought it was a bit funny how Kaku and Kalifa get peer pressured into eating their devil fruits, despite Kaku showing obvious disinterest, and can we talk about their reactions when handed the fruits??

You cannot convince me that they wanted to eat those. Kalifa is struggling. But of course, Lucci comes in with the "It'll be fun", so they just decided 'yep we're doing this i guess'. Was it really that fun, though? Everyone got their ass kicked two times over in the end, so did it really matter?

You poor souls.

Moral of the story, if someone tells you 'eat this thing I'm giving you because it will be fun' -- don't.

Exhibit TWO!!! - 'Crackhead Franky burns the blueprints'

These panels just make me feel some type of way. Of course, Kaku (as the other CP9 members are) is very upset that his five years of work just got burned up into dust in front of him, but it also means that it was ALL FOR NOTHING. Everything was for nothing.

Coming to Water 7, getting the job, liking the job, participating in your interest, making friends, having a good boss and then turning around and ruining it all for the sake of some papers (that you've already been faked out of once, mind you) that just disintegrated and basically never had any meaning in the first place, because 'how the hell are we getting those back, oh yeah, we can't', is what would be going through my mind.

I mean, karma is a bitch, but damn. Also -- are ellipses just Kaku's thing? I'm noticing a pattern here.

Exhibit TROIS! ahem.. Three. - 'Zoro's sword is moaning'

Now we'll get into the stuff with Zoro -- BUT ONLY QUICKLY BECAUSE I'M GETTING TO EGGHEAD, DAMMIT!!

When confronted by Zoro, Kaku stated that Zoro's 'Will you hand Robin's handcuff key over before I kill you?' was a foolish question, followed by another damn ellipsis! What is it with him and those??

Anyways, why is this a foolish question to him? Well, it could go both ways -- Kaku would kill Zoro before he could get the key, or Zoro would kill Kaku before he could give up the key. The first way was probably intended from Kaku's perspective... or was it? Kaku knows Zoro is strong, as he says literally in the same panel that he wished he could see what Zoro was capable of.

Based on Kaku's reaction to Zoro defeating him (which we'll get to in just a moment), I believe he was anticipating his own defeat by Zoro's hand.

Fighting Zoro was almost like a game to Kaku, as he said (during the lighter half of their fight) that this was fun, and the only way for the fun to stop was if Zoro beat him. This was fun for him to the very end of it. That's pretty sad, and I feel like Kaku was excited to have someone like Zoro fighting him, especially with them both being swordsman, as he seemed to really enjoy their fights.

Now for the finale!!

^^ This is right after Zoro informs Kaku that he's fired, rubbing salt into Kaku's many metaphorical and physical wounds. vv

Why did Zoro feel the need to say this? Did Zoro want Kaku to feel bad about what he did? Because usually, foes don't get the time to talk with the person that just beat their ass, because they get knocked out/killed before anything else happens. Did Zoro hit him just hard enough to delay him losing consciousness, just so he could rub it in (and so this would be Kaku's last thought before passing out) that Paulie was upset with him?

Why would Zoro do this? Kaku is an enemy, and at this point in time Zoro didn't know Kaku was going to willingly give him his key (as in he thought he was going to have to take it off Kaku after he was unconscious), so why the hell did he not just knock him out right then and there and get the key? Zoro is pressed for time, because he needs to bring that key to Robin -- so why do this?

Perhaps Zoro is aware that there is more to Kaku than just being a backstabbing government assassin, and that he could have possibly still had a conscience at that time so he just really wanted to rub it in his face that Paulie directly fired him -- because he knew it would hurt.

"You guys... are fired."

'Paulie said that? Oh... what a mess' Kaku says as if he wasn't expecting that? Excuse me, sir?

Sure, okay, maybe he hadn't had the time to think about Paulie and all them dudes with all the shit he'd been dealing with, but honestly, what was he expecting? That Paulie wouldn't say that?

Of course not. Those words just had a lot of weight coming from Paulie, let's be real here. He knew that he was fired. He knew this whole thing would end up with him being fired eventually, so why is he so sad at the fact that Paulie fired him?

This, along with the "assassins can never find other work" leads me to think he knows he's done for. He will be stuck as an assassin until he dies, and that's just how it's going to be. I'm wondering, was he expecting to die here?

I'm curious -- who was it that told him that assassins couldn't find other work? Who is 'they'? Was it you, Kaku? Is he telling himself that?

Or was it someone like Lucci, who wanted to drill into his head that this is what he was 'meant' to do, and there was no going back for him, as if he can't ever redeem himself (praying on this y'all, please Oda PLEASE), just because Lucci wants Kaku on his side to be his partner in crime. Stupid Lucci. I hate that guy.

The next picture will be a little more focused on Zoro's reaction to Kaku rather than Kaku himself.

Again, here we go with those damn ellipses. They are starting to paint a better picture of how complex this could actually get, though, so I won't dog on them anymore.

Let's actually talk about that for a second -- the Oxford Dictionary defines an ellipsis as "the omission from speech or writing of a word or words that are superfluous or able to be understood from contextual clues", and from a couple different sources ellipses in comics can be seen as "there is more to be said here, but you can figure it out because why not" or a character is thinking about something.

What is Zoro thinking about here? What's making him just stare at Kaku while he gets his key for him? Well, maybe Zoro wasn't expecting Kaku to just give him the key, so he's just... watching. Kaku is also laughing (at Zoro's zoo joke, for context), and if I was in his situation I very much wouldn't be, so that can be a bit confusing for Zoro as he might wonder why Kaku is being such a good sport.

This good sportsmanship displayed by Kaku could be giving Zoro a reason to believe in Kaku's complexity and ambiguity, along with Kaku giving him the key right before he passes out. Kaku really felt the need to give Zoro his key because he had earned it, yet Kaku wasn't killed to obtain it -- so this was Kaku's way of surrendering, and that is another reason why I think he was expecting this to be the end of the road.

Bonus to that:

Okay!! I'm done I'm done I'm done!!!!!!!!!!~ I talked a little more than I wanted to but that's okay because were onto EGGHEAD!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Part Three: Egghead

Reminder: MANGA Egghead -- ahead of the anime.

This part is going to be a bit unhinged because as I'm writing this Egghead JUST finished up (who's excited for Elbaf???? WOOP!!) and I have some STRONG feelings.

OK OK OK LET'S GET INTOOO ITTT!!

So Egghead starts and... and.. w-.. wait.

He's sitting on top of poor Sentomaru's battered body. This... this looks familiar.

Oh, that's why. That's weird. What a weird detail. Is this going to happen more in the future? Is this one of Kaku's weird things he does, just because?

Sidetracked, sorry. Anyway-

I'm going to start this off by saying that Lucci has definitely been getting on Kaku's nerves throughout the entirety of Egghead. Honestly, I understand. If I'd have to deal with stupid Lucci for as long as Kaku has I'd be pissed at him too.

It's okay, Kaku. You can kick his ass, I won't say anything.

But my point in bringing this up is that these little moments of Kaku being upset or annoyed with Lucci are building up to something much bigger. Kaku cannot catch a break, and in most of the scenes they're together in he's fed up with Lucci in some way.

Now let's talk about Kaku and Stussy.

He can say they aren't friends all he wants, but I beg to differ. We haven't necessarily seen a whole lot of CP0's interactions with each other outside of carrying out their missions, but there is an obvious connection between these two that I've grown fond of.

Kaku contemplating Stussy's 'Who do I live for?' is interesting -- he doesn't speak on this out loud, but clearly he's got something brewing in the ol' noggin.

This whole page is just wonderful. Also, I think that is the best face I have seen Kaku make. There's a lot to get into here.

So... I absolutely love that Stussy wanted to free Kaku, but what the hell does she mean by 'I know the first thing he'll do if he's released'?? Genuine question. I might have accidentally skimmed over something, because I'll admit I read egghead pretty fast (though I'm thinking about reading all of it a second time because there was just so much happening all at the same time that it got a little crazy) but I don't remember seeing anything else about what she thought Kaku was going to do.

Kaku was obviously not expecting Stussy to do this, as she was pretty much made their enemy because of her betrayal, but Edison's 'I'm sorry for making you betray that friendship' just makes me want to... like.. idk. Edison knew that Stussy and Kaku were good friends, which makes me think that Stussy has possibly talked about Kaku before to the Vegapunks?

I haven't really had a whole lot of time to think about this stuff so everything I say here I'm coming up with as I'm typing it -- it's more speculatory than the other sections.

I think Stussy asking to free Kaku is another case of rubbing salt into Kaku's wounds, albeit more indirect. Stussy cares about him, obviously, but I think what Edison said makes Kaku just do a reflection of his entire life.

Stussy betrayed Kaku, yet she still shows compassion for him because they were friends.

Kaku betrayed Paulie, but completely does the opposite of Stussy. He just completely cuts him off. Paulie and Kaku were friends. Stussy and Kaku are friends.

Despite being his 'enemy', Stussy wants the best for Kaku and tries to help him as best as she could.

This, I believe, makes Kaku do a 180. This situation with Stussy is what could have happened on Water 7 with Paulie, because if you guys remember, Paulie said he felt that Kaku and Lucci were still his friends, even after he'd witnessed CP9 beating up Iceberg.

That is why I think he looks so distressed after Edison apologizes for Stussy's betrayal to him, because he's betrayed his own friends multiple times now, and he's fully realized this isn't all that different from Water 7.

It sure does hurt to be the one betrayed, doesn't it? Now he knows how his buddies on Water 7 felt.

I also want to talk about Edison saying that Stussy's 'inner conflict is a calling card of humanity' (talking about having to choose between being on Kaku's side or being with the Vegapunks), and how Kaku has a little wobbly bubble with an ellipsis.

Has Kaku realized that having humanity might not be so bad? Cipher Pol agents, I'm assuming, aren't really supposed to have this concept of humanity, because they're supposed to be these almost superhuman monsters.

Or has he realized that he isn't like the other Cipher Pol agents, as he secretly does have a sense of humanity that he shoves down for the sake of being in CP0? If Lucci ever found out that Kaku really did have a sense of humanity he would probably deem him useless. However...

Lucci (for the first time ever, wow) shows compassion towards Kaku, being worried that Kaku would be killed in the midst of the chaos that was Egghead.

I always perceived Lucci to be the type to leave behind the wounded, as they weren't of use to him anymore, but he goes out of his way to ask Mars to spare Kaku, which was honestly very surprising. Maybe Lucci still has a speck of humanity in him. Perhaps there is hope.

You're seriously going to tell me that they aren't friends when they're both crying??

Also... do you know that one scene from Air Bud?? This scene between Kaku and Stussy reminded me of that the first time I read this chapter, lol.

Kaku is worried for Stussy's safety, as he knows that if Lucci finds her, he will kill her. And again with this -- what is Kaku going to do next?? I want to know, God dammit, JUST TELL ME!!

Is Kaku going to defy Lucci? Is he going to run away? TELL MEEEE!!

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!~~~

So Stussy is apparently dead, which, okay, when did that happen, and also, absolutely not, but why does Kaku look like he's seriously about to just unleash his rage on Lucci? Do it, please DO IT!! BEAT HIS ASS PLEASE. I HATE HIM SO. MUCH.

But the fact that he's resorted to talking in ellipses again with his face shaded, a huge frown and clenched fists is making me think that this is a breaking point for him. He's just so over Lucci and I would be too. Run, run for the hills Kaku!!!

Kaku's ellipsis bubble is also a teeny bit wobbly, and if you've ever read a comic you've probably noticed that the shape of the bubble pertains to the character's state, whether that be physical or mental, and their speech. But since he isn't talking, his wobbly bubble could mean (and I'm saying could because a lot of the bubbles in Egghead are misshapen, so take this with a grain of salt, this is just what I like to think) that his mental state is, well, not great.

So with a (presumably) dead friend, a long time of growing exasperation towards Lucci, and an already unstable mental state, I really hope Kaku can realize that a line has been crossed, so it's his turn to act.

So now, it's time for the conclusion.

Basically, I just want Kaku to be a good guy. He's so complex and I already like him so much as a character, and I would like him even more if he jumped to the other side. I feel that he's already halfway there. I hope that there might be some sort of redemption in store for Kaku and I will scream if it comes true. You might not think so, but I can dream!!

Anyways, that's my two cents! Or rather... my fifty cents.. or my dollar. That was a lot. Thanks so much for reading!