#exclusive to my gender

[applejongho]

idk how to articulate this correctly but like 🥲 the whole "girl _____" rubs me the wrong way. ig the pilot girl _____, girl dinner, was innocent enough at first glance but now I've seen girl therapy (relaxing after a long day) and girl memory (approximating a time period based on your nails or hairstyle in a picture) and it's just. why are we doing this. why are we gendering normal things and why are we specifically gendering things that happen to be "ditzy," "silly," and sometimes "dumb"

[just-your-average-tangerine]

The line between binary and nonbinary trans people is nowhere near as clean as some of yall think it is

[ilovedthestars]

for real tho guys can we stop using “he” as the default/generic pronoun for an unspecified Blorbo. can we stop doing that. we’ve moved on from he as default pronoun in every other context by now but we’ve apparently reinvented it in the specific context of fandom posts

[playfully-sadistic]

One thing about being a sadistic dom is that you'll never hear me say "Oh, baby, don't cry" to a sub, but you will see me grab myself through my pants and grin at you, if you start crying in front of me.

[san-sews-seams]

While I understand the goal with gender-inclusive/'gender expansive'/unisex adult clothing patterns, I kinda hate them. Like. That's just now how human bodies are. One-size-fits all just doesn't!

A garment that is designed to fit well on a body without breasts will, by definition, fit like shit on me, no matter how boxy/oversized the style lines are! A garment designed to fit someone with by body (or the closest common approximation of my body, with like 3" less breast full bust circumference) will, by its very nature, fit very badly on someone flat-chested. See also, shit like shoulder width, and waist/hip raios, and I'm sure various other aspects.

Like, I get that there's a lot of baggage surrounding body shape and social expectations of gender! But you can't get around that baggage by pretending that various physical differences just don't exist!

If I want to dress more masc, the shape of my body does not change. The fit adjustments that I need to make don't change. I would in fact need to make additional tweaks and adjustments to get a traditionally masculine silhouette. And while it would be interesting and valuable to have guidelines on how to do that, unisex pattern designs move the whole process back in the opposite direction.

[the-phantom-peach]

scribbled a Him™️ between classes

[the--evil-lesbian]

you people dont know how committed I am to the outfit. I cut my hair today to suit the outfit better. I plan my day around how hard i dare to slay that day. I am a cis woman but I own a binder and if the outfit would serve harder as a man, then its he/him in the bio.

[xurkitreeking]

gender is like pokemon. most people only know charizard and pikachu and when i say i like the ultra beasts my mum doesn't know what that is

[gengernoway]

---------------------- Scholarnos. G-028 ----------------------

A gender connected to being a travelling scholar whos on their lonesome and in isolation, being in a cold forest, it is also related to AvPD and the constant distance it brings. Exclusive to pwAvPD.

------------------------------------------------ coinfight attack on @rwuffles for 5 points ------------------------------------------------ tagging : @radiomogai @coinfight ------------------------------------------------

no ids, simplified under cut.

:3

[shapelytimber]

hiiii i love your sapphic sw au a ton and as a bigender bisexual person who feels very isolated from both sapphic And mlm spaces a lot because of The Genders i think its really cool how vocally and aggressively inclusive of bi and nonbinry people you and your art are- I love the lesbians and the bisexual girlies and non-girlies in your au, i hope u keep making awesome sapphic art ��💓💓

Hello !

Thank you for your kind message, and I am so happy you feel included ! bi 4 lesbian and nb 4 cis solidarity now and always <3

I'm honestly so baffled at the amount of biphobia from other queers ?? Idk if I'm just naive, friends with the right peoples or it's something cultural, but irl i never encountered such blatant casual biphobia ??? Bi erasure, sure it happens, and that's something to be aware of. But such casual bigotry, accidental or not, from other queer people is shocking to me- but then again I'm not bi so that's not something I ever experienced myself.

I will continue making sapphic (and non sapphic) art, and I hope you'll always feel included :)

[i-love-proselfshippers]

The biggest shoutouts to selfshippers with f/os who mostly have ship content made of them. If it’s hard to look for solo content of your f/o because everything is shipping, remember that you know them better than anyone else. You do not need to feel obligated to ship something or headcanon a character the same way that a lot of people do. They love you!!! Their love for you and your love for them is what matters the most. Do not ever allow other people’s opinions to sway you into abandoning a selfship that’s important to you.

[yugocar]

*nineteenth century slav nationalist voice* hold on babe, i have to figure out if i’m pan-slavic or pan-orthodox. what? no not my sexuali- unless?

[rathologic]

I've always found Alexander Saburov interesting, especially P1 Rubin's take on him where he tells how Alexander in incognito saved people from burning house and went unrecognized for the deed (nor flaunted it). Wonderful and easy to miss characterization.

YES saburov's fucked up sense of performing duty by putting himself at risk... my favorite... have had thoughts brewing in response to this that aren't quite cooked enough yet but it's very much a gendered standard that he holds himself to IMO, of idealized masculinity as a responsibility. as an active role and as the way things must be done. making the choices that he thinks need to be made regardless of how bad they are for him. pairing beautifully with katerina's self-destructive attempts to conform to the extremely feminine-gendered role of mistress, pairing wonderfully with the two of them's catastrophic attempt to conform to the heteropatriarchal nuclear family archetype by adopting the changeling :^) and especially how this is a function of how saburov relates to his Job, a role that's been passed down in his family and Actually Is critical to the function of the Town, inescapably so as long as the system of rulers exists

[thedemonsurfer]

-lays down-

I KNOW the thing is like. Ace people can fuck, aro people can date-- but also that's apparently not supposed to be applied to characters because it's an excuse--

But like, here's the thing. Look me in the eyes here.

Then fucking write them outside of traditional shipping.

Stop telling people what they can and can't write and write it YOURSELF

You can come up with a million "but what if" statements, and at the end of the day this is still a "You can't ship [x] because [y]" comment being made.

So get good! Write the stories you want to see!

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[lieutenantselnia]