#except you Dali

[batwynn]

I voted by mail so I don’t get a sticker (which is the most important part, ofc*) so I’m going to just make my own and wear it around town. How surreal should I go?

[prokopetz]

I know it's a ways off still, but what's on the Public Domain release for 2025?

Assuming you're talking about the US public domain, it's everything published in 1929 (except for music and other sound recordings, where it's everything published in 1924). That means you've got the earliest published appearances of Buck Rogers, Popeye and Tintin, a bunch of notable art films from the early sound era (including Salvador Dali's Un chien Andalou), the Silly Symphonies short "Skeleton Dance" (you've almost certainly seen this one, even if you didn't know the title!), and like twelve different classic Mickey Mouse cartoons.

Oh, and also this:

[floatyflowers]

Secret| Dark! Migi and Dali x Reader

You were the first to discover their secret, as you are their neighbour.

Let's just say, you spotted them switching places, through the hole in the fence, while 'Hitori' supposedly tried to place the bird's house on the tree branch with the help of his adoptive father.

You decide to confront Hitori about it or rather 'Dali' when you get invited over to the Sonoyamas for dinner.

Big mistake.

One, because you confronted the more manipulative twin.

Two, Dali and Migi tied you up in their room and threatened you.

"Tell Anyone about this-"

"-And we will chop your head off"

Of course you agreed in fear...however, the twins didn't stop at that.

You would feel a presence in your house more often and feel as if someone is watching you.

Totally obvious that Dali is one watching you while hiding in your closet.

Or the fact that some of your clothes or accessories is missing.

Not knowing that Migi is one who stole them.

On the other hand, the twins felt comfortable with their identities around you

Migi falls for you first.

But Dali falls for you hard.

It really wasn't hard for you to differentiate between them both.

Dali is the more manipulative and rational one.

While Migi is the emotional one, and hyper one.

They use their mind tricks on you making you feel sympathy for them.

Dali and Migi agreed to share you.

You find it strange how no one approaches you at school, except for them.

They made sure you only belong to them.

That was until you met Eiji Ichijou.

[stubz]

"-and on that note let us discuss and review the youngling centre safety protocols. Kim, Max, any thoughts or concerns?"

"Well Calis, we'd like to make a pamphlet of sorts to be given to current and future practicum students about the key differences between species."

"Not every species, because then that'd end up being a 15 volume book," laughs and chuckles. "just key differences between predators, herbivores, omnivores, and the most common differences between species."

"That can be arranged. Anything else?"

"We have a list of things around the classroom we'd like repaired or reinforced, do you want me to read them out now or just send it to you?"

"Just send me the list and I'll get back to you before the weekend about what can and can't be done."

"Alright then, I think that's it-"

The room goes quiet as the doors open. A small youngling scampers in clutching a small bag in their claws making a beeline for first mate Calis.

"Mapa, Mapa! Look at the treats I got from the party!" they scramble onto their parent's lap, wiggling in and pushing away their documents and holopad.

"Oh um...very good Dali. They look delicious."

"Try one!"

"Maybe later my little star, Mapa is-"

"Here!" determined to share this delicious and mouthwatering treat without delay Dali crams a treat into Cails' mouth

"....very good." the whole room murmurs with giggles and coos as they watch the usually stoic first mate flush blue as their child tries to feed them more.

"Teachers try it!" tiny arms reach out as the youngling basically crawls across the large meeting room table to hand out more treats.

"Very tasty Dali!" Kim calls while walking to the meeting room door to see if Calis' mate is nearby. She gives the first mate a large grin as she passes him.

"Mmm, what is this?" with a mere scoop Max grabs the youngling off the table and places them on his knee.

"It's a mip, they're like your earth's cookies."

"Yeah they're like a coconut cookie I had." he smiles as he watches Kim bring in a giggling Gala who gives Calis a loving nuzzle much to their embarrassment.

"Dali~ You know not to come in here when mapa is having a meeting. Now let's say goodbye to everyone and wait for mapa outside with those delicious treats, alright my glorious star?" the youngling and parent give everyone a wave except for Calis who receives a kiss and hug from both their mate and child.

"...not one word from any of you." they seethe face very flushed.

"Calis, there's no need to be embarrassed. Me and Max hear from Dali all the time about how much you love them and Gala. Underneath that stoic side of you is a easily flustered romantic." the human beams.

"..."

"Kim I don't think that's what they want to hear now."

[roronoas4nji]

Zoro: No. I'm staying on the ship.

The gang didn't find it strange, they deduced that Zoro wanted to have some silence to take a nap. They left without giving the fact any importance, except for sanji.

The blond hid his smile, planning to go back and find zoro on the deck trying to sew some buttons.

Zoro não levou a sério quando Sanji disse que teria que consertar os botões que ele quebrou dali em diante. Sua única experiência com isso foi tentar fazer um ponto em si mesmo. Ele obviamente não tinha habilidade, então ele acreditou que o loiro would reconsider.

The next morning Sanji left his shirt, buttons and a sewing box on the kitchen table.

Zoro: What is this?

Sanji: You're not that dumb.

Zoro: What am I going to do with this? Shove it up my ass?

Sanji: I personally suggest doing it with your hands.

But sanji was committed.

The blond decided that he would not touch zoro nor allow him to touch him until his shirt was fixed.

Zoro held up well the first day. The second. He huffed on the third, thinking about how the cook thought he was important to the point of affecting him. The fourth and fifth were monotonous. In the sixth there was no more fun. In the seventh the arrival on the island was announced, and also that of its limit.

The friends stayed on the island, always anxious in the first days on dry land. Sanji was the only one to return, he took the opportunity to store his replacement items in the kitchen.

He didn't pass by Zoro, but he knew the swordsman noticed his presence. Controlled himself not to peek.

Approaching the big hour, zoro entered the kitchen and threw the shirt in the same way he received it. Sanji finished taking a drag on his cigarette, evaluating his work without touching it.

Sanji: It took a while.

Zoro grunted, irritated: But it's done.

Sanji: Yeah, i see.

Zoro: So...?

Sanji: So what?

Zoro didn't know whether he wanted to hit himself in the head first or beat the cook uphe was frustrated, with a strange thing in his chest since they moved away.

Zoro: You know.

Sanji: Do you want to sew another piece? I have a pair of pants that need-

Zoro, on alert: Cook.

Sanji laughed, enjoying the situation. He didn't care much about the buttons stuck in the wrong position, he was more interested in the lips unconsciously projected in a pout. The blond stood up, stopping in front of zoro. Roronoa still had his arms crossed, in a false pose.

Sanji didn't shake his smile, it only grew when he touched him for the first time in days. Zoro repeated his act, resting one hand on his torso and the other on his face. Sanji felt a difference in his calloused fingers, he moved his hand away from his face so he could examine it.

Sanji left a long seal on the tip of one of his pierced fingers.

Sanji: Idiot marimo. Maybe now think before being rude.

Zoro: Or you could give up the buttons.

Sanji gave another kiss, slowly breaking the stubbornness: I'm giving you an exercise in patience.

[lucawrites11]

the lionesses biggest problems against france and my solutions

keira walsh unable to lose her marker

the lack of a left footed centreback

poor defending of corners especially from hampton

terrible substitutions

a lack of speed and players in the box

a lack of creativity in line-ups making us completely predictable

okay, let's look at these problems in depth:

sarina loves a 4-3-3 or 4-2-3-1 looking something like this:

however this line-up has multiple problems. the first is that it's predictable, it is a slight modification of the same line-up with the same people that has been used since the euros except it no longer has the same level of success because the opposition has figured out it's weaknesses.

the first major risk is the reliance of Keira Walsh. Germany had figured this out by the Euros Final. as one of the best holding midfielder in the world, she's absolutely crucial in terms of the passes she provides forward and her ball recovery but if you just put one player on her all game (in France's case it was Kenza Dali) you can mark her out and remove England's ball recovery ability and ensure that they struggle to get the ball forward.

Another weakness is that if Sarina choses to start Greenwood, as she did yesterday, there is no defender with a good left foot and that leaves the defence vulnerable and also limits the connection that Hemp can have with her full-back down the left. Furthermore, without Lauren James, Ella Toone doesn't provide the same speed running in behind in the 10 role and that switch with Russo to allow Russo to overload the midfield and start goal scoring play. It was something that she did multiple times against France but Toone didn't make her way into the box like James and there is no finishing. English is struggling without that out and out striker, and Lauren James compensated for that gap. Without James, speed in the frontline is also lost, leaving Hemp the fastest forward player and no one chasing after her to get into the box with her.

Also loosing Earps meant that Hampton was shaky and thrown off coming on and she has never been as strong at set piece defending. Khiara may be a better option to defend set pieces where France are deadly but that's too much pressure for a debut game almost. I would like to see Khiara get her first England cap in the next Ireland match to allow be more of an option for Sarina as competition for Earps and Hampton. Sarina also failed in terms of not making a subsitution until the seventieth minute and bringing on experience where England clearly needed more speed and fresh legs. Leaving Jess Naz, Grace Clinton and Jess Park's speed on the bench was criminal.

what's the solution?

in my opinion, sarina has to use an entirely new line-up that does a few things:

either takes Walsh off the pitch or uses a midifeld overload that allows her more freedom

brings more speed into the attacking line

places a winger or ten behind Russo with the ability to get into the box

makes space for a left-footed centreback

there are a few options:

3-4-3

this is my least favourite option. it solves the keira walsh problem by taking her off the pitch but that leaves stanway as the sole holding midfielder. furthermore, it gives space for a left footed centreback in alex greenwood but it means bronze is pushed into the midfield which she can play effectively and would allow for speed in the attack but can leave a defensive hole on the wings. also without a clear left midfielder (carter could maybe play where i've place clinton and if she does, clinton should replace kirby). however clinton has speed to get into the box and as does kirby. this is also tiring for the midfield however england does have the midfield depth to bring on in park.

4-4-2 (diamond)

4-4-2 is on the left and the diamond option is on the right

both are strong choices for this england side and i think that hemp can also play up front next to russo with mead on the right with bronze and clinton or stanway on the left. two centre-forwards in russo and mead/hemp allows the centrebacks to be occupied and for a high press which can interfere with the french attempt to play out from the back that they love. clinton allows has the pace to run in behind when russo or mead manage to steal the ball allowing for a quick counter attack. four in the midfield can also overload the three that the french place in the there and challenge their ability to mark keira walsh out of the game. furthermore, a strong press in russo and hemp/mead allows the midfield be bypassed because the four doesn't always provide a full overload. two upfront can also compensate for when russo drops into the midfield and to hold up the ball, this also allows for the full overload with five in the midfield to pull markers off keira. with a strong left back in greenwood who can play centreback, williamson can also drop into the midfield for an overload. a four at the back with the left-footed defender allows for a deep block if the ball is lost, something that is likely to happen if france play in the midfield again.

3-5-2

this is my favourite line-up

the five in the midfield allows for a complete overload that can release walsh and give her the freedom to pass forward. furthermore, there is the left-footed centreback in greenwood. bronze and hemp playing as wing-backs also allows for a deep block when they drop back and they are both fast at getting both back and forward on the defense and attack which can be the main weakness of this line-up however bronze and hemp can play well as wing-backs. furthermore, bronze, hemp and clinton can overload the final third to support the high press of russo and mead that ensures players in the box and speed on a break to that can work quickly to throw off a french defense and a build up of play from the back

i think this will solve a lot of england's problems going forward and back and release keira walsh in the midfield as well as throwing france off with a new line-up that they wouldn't be expecting

i would also like to see jess park and aggie beever-jones up front to provide support as a striker for alessia russo or speed in behind replacing grace clinton

[xatsperesso]

Lol can you imagine iruma teaching his class how to make those flower crown thingys?

Iruma gives azz one and azz is trying his hardest not to combust into flames so the crown can be safe?

Everyone in the class gives sabro a crown? He's wearing twelve and like six of them are dangling on his horns

Gaap gives purson one, and for the day whenever purson fwooshes his crown is visible because he likes it and he wants to show that he's proud of what his friend made for him

Clara and Ix open a class teaching students how to make flower crowns. It's rare to look at the garden and not find at least one group making them

Robin-sensei is the best out of teachers at making them and he gifted one to his cousin(/sister? Dont remember their relationship)

Iruma is confused as to how bachiko has one

Buer keeps getting them as gifts

Every once in a while balam will give kalego one because he knows kalego's prideful ass refuses to get caught making them qt school

To be fair if either dali, sullivan or opera caught him making one his life is over

Sullivan is forever waiting for iruma to make him one. Iruma doesn't know his grandpa wants one and thinks the stress of work is what makes him all grumpy

Sullivan nearly cried when opera went to him wearing a flower crown that iruma made for them

Kalego wants to know if he can do something decorative with his cacti. Corners iruma and asks him and iruma is afraid to tell him that he doesn't know

One day iruma recruits his classmates and their kouhais to make one giant crown. They gift it to thoth

Remeber the class's mentors at the harvest festival? They all get flower crowns

Except for general furfur. He too will forever await his crown, not knowing that he'll never get one

(Iruma learns about jazz and alloce not giving their mentor one, so he sends him an anonymous one because he doesn't want him to feel left out)

[putellasawfc]

my masterlist !

-

katie mccabe

injured

instagram official (social media au)

leah williamson

gingerbread competition

wag in training (social media au)

wag in training pt2 (social media au)

lucy bronze

skincare shenanigans

twitter fingers

best few days (social media au)

instagram stories if you were dating lucy

mary earps

wrong hands

beth mead

best decision

rachel daly

down again

jen beattie

exposed

georgia stanway

permanent ink (social media au)

alexia putellas

pre-parental panic

sam kerr

figured out (social media au)

mapi león

mapi as a girlfriend is the type to …

mapi wants to give you a tattoo (blurb)

cata coll

cata as a girlfriend is the type to …

jessie fleming

instagram stories if you were dating jessie

( my requests are open ! i write for the arsenal, barcelona & england women players mostly but i am open to a few exceptions if any of you would like me to write for any other players. )

[annieqattheperipheral]

Players & team front office responses

The Florida Panthers hosted the league’s first Pride Night in 2013, and the promotion gradually spread across the league until all teams were wearing rainbow-colored jerseys and using Pride Tape during the 2021-22 season without issue. (x)

Oct 2023:

An NHL spokesperson told ESPN that Pride tape had been allowed for years as an exception to its stick tape restrictions, which otherwise would allow players to use only black or white tape. The league said the current ban on Pride tape was to prevent teams and players from using it as an "end around" to violate the new uniform policy.

Stickers and ribbons are also banned from player uniforms, although coaches are allowed to wear ribbons.

...

Commissioner Gary Bettman: "What happened last year was that the issue of who wanted to wear a particular uniform on a particular night overshadowed everything that our clubs were doing. So what we said, instead of having that distraction and having our players have to decide whether or not they wanted to do something or not do something and be singled out, we said, 'Let's not touch that,'"

ESPN

Deputy commissioner Bill Daly: “I think the primary point is that nothing’s really going to change in the sense that our clubs will continue to celebrate these special initiatives and these causes and do a lot of cause messaging around those events,” he said. “The only difference this year is we’re asking the clubs not to employ use of the players on the ice during the game. As you know, probably, we had some issues last year with players feeling uncomfortable in supporting certain causes and we didn’t want our players to be put in those situations going forward.”

Sportsnet

"Game/practice restrictions don't interfere with players' ability to support in other settings. In fact, we encourage them to. (We) just don't want to put other player(s) in a tough spot simply because they don't choose to join."

Toronto Maple Leafs

Morgan Rielly - A

“It’s unfortunate. But I think as players and as people,” Rielly said Tuesday. “We’re going to continue to support those people and those causes that we think need it or are worthy and very deserving of it. Whatever statement was made is fine, but as players, we’re going to continue to offer support and be allies. We want to be a part of this community.”

...

Rielly, for one, won’t be deterred from speaking in support of marginalized groups.

“I wish players had the right to kinda do more and be more involved,” Rielly said.

“I’m going to continue to be involved in the community and offer support to those communities and those groups that want that and need that. As players, we’re going to continue to be involved, pretty much no matter what the league says.”

Brad Treliving - GM

Maple Leafs GM Brad Treliving said that both he personally and the Leafs as an organization have always been supporters of the 2SLGPTQ+ community. Memo or no memo.

“Nothing’s gonna change that,” Treliving said. “We’ll figure out our ways that we make sure that we do the right things and support as we always have and stay true to what we believe in. There’s always challenges in in the world, but that doesn’t affect how we support.”

sportsnet

Mitch Marner - A

“That’s something that I think a lot of people in our organization take pride in and have supported that community for a long time,” Marner said on the Jeff Marek Show Tuesday. “I know I have a lot of friends, I’ve got family, so that’s something close to my heart. I think I’ve said before, but everyone in this world should be able to express themselves as best as possible, and love who they love. They shouldn’t be looked at any differently… It’s unfortunate, but it is what it is. We’re still obviously going to support those communities, and still got a lot of love for them.”

Sportsnet

Edmonton Oilers

Connor McDavid - C

"I've expressed disappointment in not being able to wear the various jersey or the tapes ... whether that's Pride tape or pink tape," McDavid said Tuesday.

"Is it something that I'd like to see back into place one day? Certainly," McDavid added.

ESPN

"In terms of a league standpoint, is it something that I'd like to see put back into place one day? Certainly. You know, but that's not the way it is right now," he told reporters at Rogers Place.

...

"I've commented on this before. I think everyone knows how I feel," said McDavid, a three-time MVP of the NHL.

"I've enjoyed all the nights that we've celebrated here in Edmonton, whether that's Pride night or military night or Indigenous night, all the various nights that we've had and had a chance to celebrate. I've always enjoyed them. I can't speak for anyone else or the league."

Zach Hyman

McDavid's teammate, Zach Hyman, also used the word disappointing when asked about the ban on Pride tape but suggested he won't stop supporting the LGBTQ2S+ community.

"We'll be able to support them individually, but collectively that's out of the players control. Disappointing, but out of our control," Hyman told reporters.

"It's out of our hands. I know personally I enjoyed wearing the Pride jersey, the Pride tape, the military jersey, we had Willie O'Ree night, Indigenous night, all those great things that we support."

CTV News Edmonton

Nashville Predators

Ryan McDonagh - A

"It's a fine line in today's world and today's sports culture," McDonagh said before the Predators faced the Tampa Bay Lightning in their 2023-24 season opener at Amalie Arena. "You want to be your own self, be your own individual, represent yourself. But you also represent your company, your brand and your employer —everybody that you're working for.

"I think it's a work in progress as far as what's right and what's not. Ultimately the individual has the final say. I think that's what you found out last year with guys that made certain stances on things. That has to be continually discussed ... letting people make their own choices."

...

McDonagh said there are other ways players can show support for causes, though. For example, the rule doesn't prohibit players from wearing supportive shirts in arenas.

"Just because I'm not given the opportunity to wear a jersey doesn't mean I can't speak out for something I believe in," he said. "One opportunity closes, another opportunity opens.

"If you feel strongly for something, there's a will and a way to support anything you want in this world."

The Tennessean

Calgary Flames

Mikael Backlund - A

"I mean, it's their decision," said Flames captain Mikael Backlund.

"We're going to support Pride any way we can, other than the tape, and we're going to follow the rules and do what we're told."

Rasmus Andersson

"I mean, it sucks," said Flames defenceman Rasmus Andersson.

"It's something that's close to my heart and something I would love to support but, you know, it is what it is and we've got to find other ways to support it."

CTV News Calgary

Jonathan Huberdeau - A

“I fully supported it, and still support it,” Huberdeau said. “For me personally I still support it, and if I get the chance to do it, I’ll do it.”

Sportsnet

Vancouver Canucks

Patrik Allvin - GM

"Decisions like that, that’s something we follow the NHL, what they recommend,” said Allvin. “I think this organization has done a lot of good things in the community…we will continue to do that. But we definitely follow the league rules and what they’re telling us to do.”

Quinn Hughes - C

"I preached it before, last year in this locker room, this organization, with Pride, will always support that,” said Hughes. “It starts at the top of the organization with the Aquilinis on down. Whether we’re wearing the tape or the jerseys, it’s something that we’ll always support. We may not be doing anything on the ice but we’ll still be doing things off the ice to support it.”

Ian Cole - Canucks’ NHLPA union rep [fr??!]

"I know the reputation that this organization has,” said Cole. “When I came here, it was a really great selling point of this organization — how they approach these things…I think it is very important.”

...

“I think that the NHL wants zero controversy, which inevitably gave them controversy,” said Cole. “Unfortunately, they are the iron fist there and what they say goes…They’re the ones that make the rules. Unfortunately, as employees, we don’t get a ton of say in it. But I really respect and like what the Vancouver Canucks have done.”

[sidenote: this dude's got his own horrendous serious issues (tw: sa) so consider this the worst person you know said something passable. Also he had the NHLPA's support when he was suspended for the allegations so it makes me wonder if he gets at all that they need to take a stand here.]

Vancouver Is Awesome

Winnipeg Jets

Josh Morrissey - A

"It's always been something that I've tried to embrace, the different theme nights and, obviously, the inclusivity around the game of hockey," Morrissey said. "Try and have everyone feel comfortable to either play or watch or be a part of what I think is the greatest game on earth. So that won't change, I guess, as a goal personally to try to grow the game, regardless of what the memo says."

Kevin Cheveldayoff - GM

"I do know that this organization takes great care in wanting to be inclusive and the theme nights," Cheveldayoff told reporters in Winnipeg. "What the specifics of the memos are, I really can't speak to. I don't really have that yet.

"I'll have to obviously get briefed on that a little bit more. But I do know that the commitment from an organization standpoint is we'll do everything we possibly can."

CBC

San Jose Sharks

Anthony Duclair

"I know a lot of guys are supportive of that. I have no problem in the past to do it. It sucks that’s not going to be part of the league moving forward,” Duclair, who has worn both Pride jerseys and used Pride tape on his sticks in previous years, told San Jose Hockey Now. “It’s a little weird to me, a little puzzling to me.”

...

“For me, you’re also banning Black History Month,” the San Jose Sharks winger, of Haitian descent and also an outspoken member of the Hockey Diversity Alliance, opined. “I think we’re taking a step backwards, to be honest.”

...

All these guidelines might affect Duclair, who famously, before Martin Luther King Day during the 2020-21 season, wore skates that featured, per The Athletic, “the letters ‘BLM’ to support the Black Lives Matter movement, a raised fist logo and the phrase ‘Change Hockey Culture.’ The left skate also [featured] the logo of the Hockey Diversity Alliance.”

Duclair isn’t sure if such on-ice statements are now banned during Black History Night.

"That’s something I’ll have to ask,” he said. It sure looks like it though.

But one thing that Duclair knows, the NHL, is once again, falling behind other leagues, by not opening the door for new fans to feel welcome.

“That’s why the NBA, NFL, leagues like that, they’re always growing year after year, always getting new fans, new viewership,” he said.

San Jose Hockey Now

Pride Tape

The Pride Tape team is extremely disappointed by the NHL's decision to eliminate Pride Tape from any league on-ice activities.

The league has used language in recent days which would prohibit the tape from any proximity to NHL Hockey. We hope the league - and teams - will again show commitment to this important symbol of combating homophobia. Many of the players themselves have been exceptional advocates for the tape.

For the last six years we are grateful for the clubs and their players' support and visibility for inclusion in hockey. The NHL's amplification and global influence has been integral to Pride Tape connecting with players, parents, coaches, officials, fans at all levels in over 40 countries.

Seven years ago, Pride Tape was born out of adversity as a grassroots hockey initiative that remains resilient, and optimistic about our plans with hockey clubs, organizations and their partners at every level.

Thank you to everyone around the world who has had the courage to speak up for inclusion and stand up to the idea that Hockey is For Everyone. Despite this setback, we are encouraged for what lies ahead based on our recent conversations from every corner of the sport.

You Can Play

If Hockey is for Everyone, this is not the way forward.

It is now clear that the NHL is stepping back from its longstanding commitment to inclusion, and continuing to unravel all of its one-time industry-leading work on 2SLGBTQ+ belonging. We are now at a point where all the progress made, and relationships established with our community, is in jeopardy. Making decisions to eradicate our visibility in hockey- by eliminating symbols like jerseys and now Pride Tape immediately stunts the impact of bringing in more diverse fans and players into the sport.

We continue to be encouraged by our ongoing work and conversations with individual clubs, where we are working collaboratively to ensure Pride Nights remain vibrant events, providing visibility and a message of inclusion to the entire hockey community all year-round. We know this issue is not within the hundreds of dedicated staff within individual clubs who go to work daily to create a culture of belonging for everyone, everywhere in the hockey ecosystem.

We call on all allies, players, fans, and coaches at every level in hockey to amplify their voices and join us in this important conversation and to remind the NHL #WhyThisMatters. This includes the NHLPA and the NHLCA. Hockey is safer and better when more of us belong.

[missameliep]

Second Chances - Chapter Twenty Five: It starts with a kiss

Book: Desire and Decorum – Modern AU 

Pairings: Prince Hamid x Elizabeth (OC); Briar Daly x Edmund Marlcaster

Characters: Elizabeth Foredale (OC); Prince Hamid; Briar Daly; Edmund Marlcaster.

Rating: M (see trigger warnings in the notes bellow)

Word count: ~8k

Summary: After the drinking games at Edgewater, before sunrise, someone will reveal their feelings; and fortunately those suffering with a hungover, won't need to deal with it alone.

A/N: 

All characters belong to Pixelberry, except OC. Turkish words are translated in the notes in the end.

Trigger warnings: mentions of past drinking and drug consumption. Reader discretion advised.

This is my submission to @choicesprompts ' Flufftober 2024 Choices - prompts 1 (First Kiss)

September, 2018 – London – Friday night – six weeks before the weekend at Edgewater 

Slumped onto one of the large armchairs settled in the middle of the game room, Edmund used one controller to adjust the lights, a softer blueish hue surrounded them, and the other to select an option, starting the gameplay and its characteristic music blasted. 

Elizabeth sighed and asked, “Are you sure you’re not going? It’ll be fun.” 

“I avoided Theresa’s boring soirée at the Holloways and am finally free to enjoy a quiet night leading an assassin through Ancient Egypt, so unless a raging fire erupts, I’m not leaving this house.” 

“It's Friday night, Ed! I can’t believe you’d rather play video games instead of going out with us… Didn’t you say you and Annabelle were friends?” 

“I’ve said she was Harry’s friend, and we share a few common interests, but pubs crawl or whatever you folks will be doing is not one of them. Could you please move a bit to the left? You’re blocking the screen...” 

Crossing her arms, she huffed and stepped aside.  

“You complained you’re a twenty-four-year-old that lives a seventy-year-old man’s life and yet I’m inviting you to a night out with fun people and you’d rather stay home…” she shook her head slowly at him. 

“Not tonight, Eliza! Maybe next week I can go out and pretend to be young. But give me a few days’ notice to prepare myself...” 

A light tap on the doorframe and Elizabeth’s face darted to the brunette standing with a wide smile framed by flamming red lips.  

“Lizzy, I hope I’m not interrupting… but Annabelle and Luke texted they’re already there.” 

“I was just saying goodbye to my stepbrother. I don’t think you’ve met, have you?” 

The man sighed, before pausing the game. His gaze slowly moved from the screen and when he turned around to face the friend by the door his jaw almost dropped to the floor. The sight of the woman in black skinny trousers and a burgundy blouse waving at him with the most beautiful smile he has ever seen stole his breath away. 

“Hi, Edmund!”  

“Hi. Hello. You... Ah... Hi,” he mumbled, unable to control the increasing racing of his heart. Is this what a heart attack feels like? he wondered, while brushing his clammy hands against his trousers. 

Conscious of the impact she caused, Briar huffed a quiet laugh and shifted to address her friend. 

“Nice to meet you, Edmund,” she said while shaking his hand. “I hope we meet again.” 

“I am going with you!” he blurted out. 

“You are?” Elizabeth’s head whipped in his direction, and she stared in disbelief as he turned off the game and put the controller down at the coffee table. 

“I just need to go to my room,” he said rising from the armchair and brushing past them, “Five minutes. I’ll meet you by the door.” 

Briar’s eyes followed the man almost running down the hallway, and she giggled. 

“Does it run in the family?” 

With a puzzled look, Elizabeth’s eyes darted to the same direction Briar was staring and she caught a glimpse of Edmund sprinting down the hall, “What does?”  

“Being cute and a dork?”  

October 28th, 2018 – Edgewater – Sometime after the drinking game 

It’s hard to tell when Edmund realized it was not the best idea for an engaged man to go knock on the door of a woman who is not his fiancée. It's even worse to do so in the middle of the night while slightly drunk.

He should’ve taken a cold shower to get rid of the idea that wormed its way into his mind, overshadowing every other thought concocted by his brain.

But he didn’t.

Anyways, he hates cold showers.

Staggering out of his room didn’t clear his mind or brought the realization of how bad that idea was. Crossing the few meters that separated his room from Briar’s door didn’t do it for him either. Not even when he tapped lightly with his knuckles, praying she was already sleeping and wouldn’t hear it - however, even then, his heart was clutching at the hope she would. So that was not that enlightenment moment either.

When the door slightly cracked open to allow visual confirmation of the night visitor, Edmund took a deep steadying breath, but it did little to stop his hands from shaking.

A moment later, Briar leaned against the doorframe smiling at him with such warmth that it was impossible not to think she cherished him. Maybe the only woman who ever did. And that was the moment he realised it was either the most brilliant move or his worst idea ever. Still, he once more was torn between the options. 

Playing with a long lock of her hair, her gaze lingered on his face, and she asked with a smile, “Trouble sleeping?” 

“I need to talk. To get this out of my chest. Can I come in?” 

Masking her surprise with another smile, she nodded and moved to the side, no questions asked. 

That was their thing, wasn’t it? Heart to heart conversations in the middle of the night... Only this time, he would also see her face while talking... and maybe he would find the answers he wishes. 

The man zigzagged until his knee bumped in the bed, and he slumped on the mattress. Giggling, she closed the door.

“You’re sloshed, Eddie!” her giggles fanned his face when she sat on the bed beside him and helped him sit up.   

“I’m certainly not. How dare you imply – No, I’m utterly sloshed. I can’t even pretend I’m not.” He let out a heartfelt laughter, and she used a hand to cover his mouth and shush him.  

His clear blue eyes crinkled with a smile. The gentle touch of her hand and the proximity of their bodies made his heart race. It was a shame this blurriness prevented him from seeing her eyes more clearly and the natural form of her lips without any lipstick. But he could tell he loved them nonetheless.

“Quiet or you’ll wake everyone up,” she hissed, but there was no edge on her voice, while her hand slowly retreated. “What do you want to talk about?” 

“You’re beautiful,” he sighed, and a tentative hand reached out to rest on Briar’s cheek, who didn’t flinch. “The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Even more, when I’m sober, because I can really see you... You’re a bit blurred now... and I can’t see your eyes... and I adore your eyes… they are so… so… intense… and warm... and kind... But my mind already knows you’re beautiful. Inside too. Not your insides... insides... like your guts... but your mind and your heart –” He stopped talking when she failed to stifle her giggles.  

“You’re laughing at me!” he mumbled, and pulled his hand away. 

Trying to stifle her giggles, she tried to remedy the situation, placing her hand on his bouncing knee when his uneasiness drove him to the edge of the mattress. She wasn’t certain if she wanted him to stay, but she didn’t want him to leave yet.

“Was that the urgent matter you needed to ‘get out of your chest’?” she questioned with a soft voice, matching the proximity shared. His attention immediately returned to her, and a timid smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. 

“No, but your beauty is too distracting…” There was a lilt of laughter in his tone, and his fingers combed his ash blonde hair back and rested at the nape of his neck.  

“I won’t apologise for that,” she huffed a laugh, and her cheeks were noticeable darker from blushing because of his words, and this alone almost sobered him up.  

Edmund leaned forward, closing the gap between them, and his breath carried the scent of mint flavoured toothpaste mixed with a hint of liquor – more than a hint, actually.  

She suspected the liquor fuelled this unexpected audacity, considering how shy and restrained he was during their ride this afternoon; however, if asked, he would say this was all about her, her presence was intoxicating, and his self-control reached its limit tonight. 

Her breath hitched when his hand touched her cheek this time. Closing her eyes, she revelled on the feather light touch of his thumb caressing her velvety skin, following a path towards her mouth. When he traced the curves of her lips, it quietened everything else but her thunderous heartbeats. 

Her tongue was emptied, no flirty or funny words ready to fly away... In fact, every brain cell was screaming for her to shut up and kiss him; and his were probably doing the same, considering the way his hooded eyes fixed on her mouth when he leaned even closer. Without any warning, he bowed until his lips were a hair’s breadth away from hers. Their gazes locked for a second that lasted an eternity, a silent dialogue between their yearnings.  

The pull of her luscious lips became so irresistible.  

Waiting for permission, his lips ghosted hers and they were so close he could almost taste her exhales. 

Briar said nothing, licked her lips and closed the gap.

At first, his lips touched hers delicately, then more insistently when his hand slid to the back of her neck and brought their faces closer. It was awkward for a few seconds, too much tension, noses bumping and eyes wide open staring at the other; until her hands cradled his cheeks and gently tilted his head to adjust his position.  

This was enough to make it more and more enjoyable. Her lips glided over his, and when she captured his lower lip between hers, he let out a barely audible gasp. And she made a mental note about his reaction.  

More confident, one of his hands caressed her knee while the fingers on the one nestled on the nape of her neck delved into her hair, eliciting goosebumps and she let out a sigh.

The moment he parted his lips, allowing their tongues to meet for the first time, it felt as if the sole purposes of their lips and tongues were to kiss one another.  

When she pulled away to try and catch her breath, his lips followed hers, and she smiled to herself satisfied, both hands cradling his face.  

Meanwhile, Edmund’s entire body tingled, and there was a pleasant warmth enveloping him, as if being swaddled by a duvet someone else warmed just for you.

Looking at her, his brain buzzed with a swarm of thoughts. Did he drink too much or was there really something different about kissing Briar? A spark. An energy. A connection. 

“Did you feel it too? Tell me I’m not bloody crazy…” he asked, leaning his forehead to touch hers. 

“I’m not a psychiatrist, Eddie… but I think you lost your mind. I definitely did, too.” 

With a huff, his head tilted back, and before another loud laughter escaped his mouth, she covered it with her hand. This time, he grabbed it and kissed her palm gently, and her eyes fluttered close. 

“We’re both too sloshed for this...” 

“I can’t… I can’t think of anything else. Only you, Briar.” 

Hearing those words was bittersweet. It was exactly what she hoped for, but not like this. Not a drunk confession. And especially not after spending time with Theresa and knowing she’s oblivious to their flirting and growing affection. And now they’re kissing while she sleeps! 

“You shouldn’t say things like that...” she chided, “Your fiancée is asleep somewhere... over there...” Her free hand pointed randomly at the wall beside them, and he grimaced.  

“This has nothing to do with her… let’s pretend for a moment I’m not engaged.”  

Frowning, she pulled her hand from his grasp.  

“What a nasty thing to say!”  

“Briar,” Edmund called her name, his voice softer and more slurred, but she didn’t look back at him and pushed his chest. “I told you, Theresa and I… that is not real… she doesn’t love me either… she loves… loved… somebody else… not me… but you and I… I –”  

“Is she aware of how you feel? Because the engagement seems pretty real to her! She showed me pictures of bloody wedding dresses!” 

Edmund’s hand rubbed his face, and he exhaled loudly.  

“If you’re here for a one nightstand, just... own it! Don’t sweet talk me...” 

“Briar, I think – not think, I know… I fell for you.” 

Slack jawed, she gaped, and it took her a few breaths to find the words again. “Eddie… You shouldn’t say that either. You do have a fiancée and you’re sloshed… I know you’ll regret everything tomorrow... and leave me heartbroken.” 

“Never. You got me head over heels… I’m yours.” 

Briar’s face tilted upwards, and she stared at the ceiling for a long moment and let out a loud frustrated exhale. If cupid was a real thing, she would murder hers slowly and painfully. 

“Why are you doing this to me?” she muttered under her breath. 

“Is it Woods?” 

“Arthur?” Her head whipped to look at him. “What does Arthur have to do with this mess?” 

“Do you love him?” 

“I-” she paused and pressed her lips together. “I could... eventually... but not when... because of this..." Her finger pointed back and forward at them. 

There was too much satisfaction in hearing those words, and he let out a relieved sigh. 

“You feel it too?” he asked, and his voice was barely above a whisper. 

“What if I do? Does it change anything?” 

Edmund tentatively touched her face and guided her eyes to look back at him. “It changes all!”

“How?” she asked, but immediately changed her mind and waved her hands. “Please, don’t tell me... or... I’ll believe you.” 

“Believe me.” 

He pulled her in for another kiss, and all the fight left her when his tongue swirled with hers. He was already leaning to push her down on the mattress, but she pushed him back.

“No more kissing.” Out of breath, Briar placed a hand on his chest to put some distance between them and held her head high. “Talk. Tell me what you’ll do. I won’t be anyone's playtoy.”

Edmund obediently complied. It felt invigorating to make plans for his own future without consulting with his mother first, and especially plans that included Briar. They talked some more and kissed one last time before sleep claimed their eyes sometime before dawn.

Briar's face was the last thing he saw before his eyes fluttered close, and he thought that was heavenly.

A persistent buzzing noise invaded Elizabeth’s dreamless sleep, almost like the sounds of cicadas in scorching summer nights demanding the world’s attention to their performance. Answering the compelling call, her eyes fluttered open, but it was the same as if they didn’t. Surrounded by darkness, the coldness kissing her feet that escaped from underneath the duvet reminded her it wasn’t summer. She immediately pulled it, rubbing the cold feet against the mattress.  

While her body reluctantly woke up and her brain regained consciousness, she was confronted by confusion and immense discomfort all at once, reminders of the insane amount of alcohol she ingested last night.  

Her head ached as if samba percussionists were beating repeatedly their instruments out of cadence to punish her. The parchedness in her mouth seemed like she had wandered the desert for days. Trying to alleviate it, her lips parted, but her mouth had dried out and it was difficult to swallow and get rid of the disgusting taste sitting on her tongue.  

The buzzing sound echoed again, attacking her ears, and she realized it was probably the mobile vibrating with incoming messages over the nightstand. Even though she wondered what time it was, the identity of the caller or texter and their reasons to be trying to reach her in what she assumed was the middle of the night didn’t pique her interest at all, if anything it riled her up for disturbing her rest. Mustering the strength to reach the nightstand to turn off the phone, she tried to roll over, but something blocked her path and restrained her motion. Not something, but someone. 

In the dark she couldn’t rely on her sight, but her other senses worked perfectly, collecting information of quiet sounds of breathing behind her, the light pressure of a body against her back, and the arm she finally noticed dangling over her waist underneath the covers. And lastly, the fragrance that reached her nostrils was unmistakable. 

“Hamid?” her voice sounded hoarse in the quiet room, almost unrecognisable.  

The body stirred, and he hummed his response. His warm breath fanned her neck, and if she wasn’t so overwhelmed, she would have enjoyed it. 

Why are you in my bed, dude? The question died in her tongue, but not the surprise stirred by his presence. 

“Do you need to go to the toilette again?” his sleepy voice reached her ears.  

Again? When did I even go to the toilet?  

Her mind raced, trying to cling to any memory that could explain Hamid sleeping on her bed. But she found none. Maybe she should take the hint, get up, go to the toilet, wash her face, and drink some water. And definitely get some aspirins before her head explodes, and something for the burning stomach and nausea too. And maybe if she feels better, she will remember. 

“I’m thirsty,” she said fighting the dryness of her mouth. 

His arm retreated, and his hand lightly brushed the skin of her abdomen, and soon was gone, but not the goosebumps on its wakening.   

“The glass is empty, but if you give me a minute, I’ll get you some more…”  

“Don’t worry. I’ll get up…” she said without moving to get off the bed right away.  

His weight shifted in the mattress. Hamid rubbed his eyes and stretched his arm aimlessly until his fingers reached the switch in the wall. The room was flooded by bright light.  

“Turn it off, please!” she squealed scrunching her eyelids. Her hands flew to her eyes, mostly because of the bright lights, and only partially because of the brief sight of his bare torso. “Why are you shirtless? Are you naked?” 

“Don’t you remember?”  

“I-I don’t…” 

“Allah Allah, I thought that was memorable...” 

The pacing of the tiny percussionists inside her brain grew even faster and stronger, and her heart joined the rhythm.  

“What are you talking about?” she dared ask with a strangled voice. 

“The re-enactment of the projectile vomit scene from the Exorcist,” he said very slowly, and realization dawned on her. 

“Oh, my god! I puked? On you?”  

“Fortunately, you had asked me to take you to the toilette, and my t-shirt was the target and not my face.” 

“I puked on you?” she repeated, shocked by the idea. 

What the flying fudge cracker! That's a whole new level of stupidity, isn’t it? Why did I drink this much? 

“I’m so sorry!” she mumbled, hiding her face in her hands. “That’s so gross… I-I… Sorry.”  

She wanted to run away and hide forever, but her body was so tensed it froze. 

“Hey,” he said softly, but she didn’t uncover her eyes. After calling her name, his hand reached one of hers, which she reluctantly let him grab – she couldn’t understand why on earth he was anywhere near her.

“It’s okay, Liz. You did nothing wrong.” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s untrue... I’m mortified... What else do I have to apologise for?” 

“Don’t worry, aside from the vomiting and being horny and handsy, drunk Liz makes delightful company...”

The joke did little to lessen her embarrassment. How can he be so chill about it? 

“What do you mean by ‘handsy’?” 

“You tried to kiss me and grab my butt.” 

“What? I would never!” she protested, knowing well enough that she prefers his sculpted torso and arms to his bottom, even though it has a nice round shape... And she's clearly still a bit horny. 

“You also took ‘no’ for an answer, which was remarkably respectful.” 

She let an exasperated huff through her mouth and pressed her hands against her face. “I can’t have this conversation now...” 

“We can revisit it some other time, I’ll gladly share the details.” 

“How about never?” 

Smiling, he sat straighter and lighted the lamp on the nightstand. His eyes, cleared of sleep, stared directly at hers, “Drinking like that is unusual to you, I understand. And you don’t have to feel embarrassed about what happened.” 

“That’s impossible...” she sighed and looked at him, wondering what else she has said and done. “Just to clarify, you’re not naked…” 

“No, I’m not. And I’d never cross that line. You were drunk and asked me to stay, and I did. To keep you company. That’s all.” 

Relief washed over her, and she smiled. “Thanks. For not… you know… and for sticking around.”  

“Don’t mention it. Someone had to hold your hair up, prevent you from dancing and falling on your magnificent bottoms, and bumping your head on the furniture.”  

“Oh, God! It did happen then!” Hamid nodded. “Is that why my head hurts?” Her fingers raked her hair, searching for any sign of a bump.  

“I’m pretty sure that’s the alcohol.” 

“What time is it?” 

He picked his mobile in the nightstand. “7:45.” Stealing a sideway glance at her worried face, his finger caressed the back of her hand, and he asked softly, “Are you sure you don’t want me to get you something to drink? Annabelle brought a bottle of isotonic drink. And I can get you something to eat…”  

“I – No, I’m fine now. Even thinking about food makes me sick… I’ll go to the... you know… and you... go back to sleep. Excuse me.” 

Hamid let go of her hand, and Elizabeth rolled to the opposite side of the bed, moving away from him, and not looking back even when she felt his stare. She swung her legs touching the carpet and noticed both her socks were gone. Her feet were heavy, just like the rest of her body, and she dragged them on her way to the en-suite. The touch of the frigid floor against the soles of her feet, caused her to shiver, and she mentally cursed not putting on the slippers. 

Closing the door, she barely had the time to turn on the light before her legs started giving away underneath her. Pressing her hands against the cool marble of the sink to support her weight, she avoided stumbling or collapsing to the floor. Performing every little task took too much energy, and she almost gave up on washing her face, but the invigorating cold water gave her the necessary boost to continue. By the time she took the toothbrush to her mouth, she needed to sit down. Flopping down into the wooden bench near the bathtub, she noticed Hamid’s white t-shirt soaked-wet dangling over the rim of the tub, and two pairs of socks hanging on the faucet.  

Suddenly, a panicked Hamid kneeling on the floor in front of her, begging her to keep her eyes open flashed before her eyes; was it a memory or her imagination? 

Her hand barely moved to brush her teeth, and her heavy eyelids were impossible to keep open with all the light around her. She would close them for one second, maybe two.  

The sound of the toothbrush falling and hitting the floor didn’t wake her up, but she couldn’t ignore the soft but persistent rapping on the door. 

“Liz,” Hamid asked softly, “are you alright?” 

Her hand rubbed the foam from her lips and chin, and she picked up the toothbrush from the floor. “I’m fine,” she replied getting up, and the movement made her dizzy. Slowly moving back to the sink, she heard him speaking again.  

“You’ve been in there for a very long time…” 

“I’m brushing my teeth.” 

She washed her mouth, took another gulp of tap water, and tied her hair in a high bun.

When she opened the door, Hamid was standing there, leaning against the doorframe with a worried look. It surprised her that he didn’t go back to sleep or to his own room. 

“How are you, really?” he asked, carefully speaking in a low tone that wouldn’t be uncomfortable considering the aftereffects of the alcohol.  

“I brushed my teeth, but my mouth still tastes like a smelly old brolly –” 

Hamid chuckled and it eased the frown of his brows. “That’s very specific. How do you even know what it tastes like?” 

“My mind does,” she sighed. “My head hurts. My stomach is on fire, and I could drink a bucket of water. And mostly I’m feeling incredibly dumb for drinking this much again...” And puking on you. 

“For now, we can take care of the head and stomach.” 

Walking past her, Hamid crouched and opened a door of the cabinet under the sink. With familiarity, he produced a white box with a red cross painted at the top from the first shelf and took a bottle of antacids and another of aspirins, both were placed on the sink in front of her.  

With a grimace she drank the liquid as instructed and the pill sat bitterly on her tongue while she waited for him to come back with the bottle of Gatorade.

Watching her swig half of the content of the bottle without stopping to breath, an amused smile parted his lips. 

“And for the dumbness –” 

“You’ll keep mocking me endlessly and not let me forget it...” her tongue was quicker and sharper than his ever would, and she huffed in frustration, letting her shoulders slump. 

“Why would I do that?” he asked softly, brows knitted together while trying to meet her gaze. 

She pursed her lips and said nothing in return. Shame taking over, her eyes focused on anything else but his face.  

“A word from you and I’ll never speak about tonight. A joke is not worth it, if it causes you pain. You can expect nothing but understanding from me. Like I said before, I truly believe you deserve kindness, hayatım[1], and not more criticism.”  

Her eyes flicked from her folded hands to his eyes, his expression changing from one of concern to a more relaxed one while he reminisced about the night before.  

“Last night, you have laughed, joked and been the most open around a group of people since I met you. You looked happy, truly happy. Relaxed. And that wasn’t just the alcohol. You were in a safe place and let your guard down. I agree drinking this much isn’t good for you... But why shaming yourself? Why not learning from it instead? You can’t change anything that happened, but you can make different choices in the future, if you desire, no? And if you don’t, I’ll hold your hair up again.” 

There was so much empathy in his tone that if she wasn’t so dehydrated, her eyes would be watering. She mouthed a soundless thank you and he inched closer. 

Standing behind her, he gently squeezed her shoulders, and they looked at each other’s reflections in the mirror.  

Instead of the pink plaid PJs, she was sporting a long sleeved green one with no buttons, and she wondered if Hamid was the one who changed it.  

As if reading her mind, he said softly, “Annabelle changed your clothes, after we cleaned you up.” 

“I must thank her later.” 

That was the first time she truly looked at herself.  

The reflection looking back at her was pale, her usual tan had completely vanished these past months; smudged eyeliner and dark stains of mascara accentuated the dark circles under her reddened eyes, which seemed smaller due to the puffy eyelids. She looked spent. The entangled hair had been pulled into a messy bun at the top of her head, and a few shorter curls had escaped the imposed restraint, sticking out close to her ears and neck. All in all, she was a complete mess while Hamid looked unfairly handsome with slightly flattened bed hair, the shadow of a beard and a big smile that caused the corners of his eyes to wrinkle; somehow, despite the vomiting, and deprivation of sleep she imposed him, there was so much adoration in his eyes that even in her current state was impossible to miss. 

“Hamid, can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“Why are we all here, Liz? Isn’t that the fundamental Philosophical question?” 

“Silly,” she chided, and his chuckle was so very close to her ear when he leaned forward that raised all the hair in her body and fogged her brain for a while.

“You know what I mean! You could be sleeping tight in your bed right now... instead, you spent the night taking care of my dumb drunk arse... when you had no obligation to.” 

“I like your cute dumb drunk arse...” He winked, and she rolled her eyes. 

“I’m serious.” 

“So am I! I’m a fan.”

Chuckling, Hamid hugged her from behind, his arms wrapped around her waist, and he rested his chin on her shoulder. “Someone needed to hold your hair, and let’s say I know what it feels to be so utterly sloshed and not having anyone to look after me.” 

“You do?”  

He hummed. His breath fanned the bare skin of her neck.  

“But I won’t bother you with such an inane story. Let’s get you to bed.” 

“I wouldn’t mind listening to it...”  

His lips twitched, possibly surprised by the request, and he looked at her reflection in the mirror for a long moment, the way she hid a yawn against a palm, but still tried to keep her eyes focused on him. 

“Maybe some other time...” he replied while gently turning her around, but keeping her in the circle of his embrace, “You look about ready to fall asleep in my arms... not that I’d ever complain about that….” He winked at her, very flirty, in that Hamid-like fashion that makes her knees weak, and even though it wasn't far from the truth, she recognized the diversion right there in his words.

“I like a good bedtime story...” she said softly, tilting her face up to meet his gaze over her shoulder, “And your voice...” She might’ve learned a thing or two about charming someone with him.

“Then how could I not humour you?”

Smiling, Hamid helped her sit on the bed and pulled the covers over her legs, and she remained sitting, looking expectantly.

In the dimly lit room, Hamid sat in front of her, legs crossed, took a deep breath and broke the silence.

“I only got really sloshed a handful of times... My sisters took care of me, helped me hide it from my parents... But one time, it happened during a trip with friends... We went to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate my 19th birthday. Most of my memories are fogged... You must have seen what happens to six lads with loads of cash partying at Amsterdam...” 

“I actually never been there...” 

“Haven’t you? I must take you there. It's lovely in the spring.” 

His fingers reached her hand, and his thumb was very distractingly caressing the back of her hand, following the paths of green veins till her wrist and back. Another distraction, she realized. Caressing the back of his hand with her free hand in return, she asked, “What happened to you?” 

He hummed, and she suspected he was carefully choosing the words to continue. 

“Everything went brilliant until the night before our flight... We went clubbing and met these girls, very friendly, seniors at uni, gorgeous… and had us wrapped around their fingers.” He chuckled. “We followed them like puppies to another club and to another... By the time we got to the third one, I was so wasted, I could barely stand on my own, but I didn’t want to admit it and go back to the hotel... So, my friend Lewis stayed with me, but while he was away hitting on one of the girls or whatever… I don’t know… I guess I accepted a pill that was definitely not aspirin…” 

“Someone drugged you?” her voice shrieked, piercing her own brain, and she looked at his face over her shoulder, and he clicked his tongue. 

“Nobody was sober at that point, and I probably said I was cool with it...” Hamid paused at her concerned expression and tried to explain, “The day before, I tried space cake and smoked a little hashishe... anyway... It was a harmless experience. We laughed for hours sitting at the grass...” 

“But you were already drunk! You couldn’t consent!” Elizabeth snapped, head racing with all the legal issues this story poses. This was the sort of thing she worried about whenever going our to clubs and parties and one of the reasons she was vigilant with her and her friends’ drinks, and to hear something like that happened to Hamid not in theory made her chest tight, even though he sounded so nonchalant about it.

Hamid’s shoulders raised almost to his ears, and he let out a deep breath; the smile faltered a little and his expression transformed entirely.

Was he regretting telling me?

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head, “I’m doing it again...” 

“It’s alright.” He intertwined his fingers with hers. “Maybe I should stop, so you can sleep.” 

She shook her head, widening her eyes to fight the sleep.

“I woke up at the hospital. Someone had found me lying on a bench at Oosterpark and called emergency. I had no documents, no coat, and no shoes... It was winter. My clothes were drenched from the rain…” 

“Wow... that's... you could have died...” Elizabeth pointed out the obvious, and instantly regretted it.

“Trust me, I know. The doctor gave me a long and detailed speech about hypothermia. And drugs. And unprotected sex, even though I don’t remember even kissing anybody… They poked me with needles, ran tests and gave me some pills just in case…”  

“Dude…” Elizabeth muttered but stopped before any of the concerns bubbling in her brain escaped again.  

He looked expectantly, but she didn’t know what to say. Taking a deep breath, she struggled to shut down that voice in her mind whispering judgmental and useless advice about something that happenend to him years ago, and listened to her heart. Pushing the covers aside, she moved on the bed and sat on the balls of her feet right in front of him.

“I – I’m sorry this happened to you,” she said softly and genuinely, and his expression eased when no chiding came out of her mouth.  

“I’m not,” he said, and the smile was back on his face. “Almost dying in such a stupid way had positive outcomes.” 

She gaped. “How can you see a bright side in this story, Hamid?” 

“There is always a silver lining,” he said with a familiar cheerful tone, but still soft enough not to bring her discomfort. “First, I realized I didn’t like drinking that much or getting hungover… I dance better, and my jokes are funnier when I’m sober. And from that day on, I’m an advocate of remembering the things I do and not losing my passport. So, I decided not to drink. Unless it is raki with babam and dedem[2]. Second, I don’t know if I’ll live a short or long life; but I can choose how to live my best life, with no regrets, appreciating the beauties, welcoming the joys... and obviously, adrenaline rushing through my veins fuels me!” He looked pointedly at her, and she remembered the incident with the horse. 

“Not with disregard to my safety,” he let out the words with a chuckle, holding her hands in his. “And, when my time comes, hopefully it won’t be blacked out drunk in a park bench...”

She held his hands tighter, as if possible to shield him from such a fate with sheer will. 

“I hope your learning process included finding a better group of friends,” she mumbled, and he chuckled.  

“Don’t be so hard, güzelim[3]. They are good people. At the time, we were too young and sheltered… mortality was not part of our vocabulary.”  

How incredible it must be to be so careless and not have this sort of concern!  

That was never the case for her.  

Death and sickness have been her companions in life for so long that her identity is linked to those grim subjects. In the past five years, no decision in her life has been made without considering either of them. Letting out a long and loud sigh, she pondered how different they were in so many more ways than she first assumed.  

“Gosh, if it were me… I’d…” she trailed off, and he jumped in to complete her sentence, “You wouldn’t leave me alone.” 

Lowering her gaze, but unable to control the blush that bloomed in her cheeks, she admitted he was right and that she wouldn’t leave him alone. 

“However,” she added, “I was going to say that if I were you, I’d never want to see those people again! How could they leave you like that? What sort of friend does that?” Her indignation transpired in her tone and disgusted face. 

“I don’t blame them. It wasn’t their responsibility to take care of me... I’m responsible for my choices, good or bad.”  

Meeting his eyes, there was no shame in them, on the contrary, Hamid’s countenance expressed relief. Noticing the attentive gaze studying him, he smiled. 

“I never spoke about any of this; not even to my sisters.” 

“Why not?” 

“They would gang up on me, obviously… and everything turned out alright. My friend Burak found my coat at the club, my passport and mobile were in the pocket... A happy ending.” 

She watched his face and the wide and bright smile directed at her. 

“You didn’t need to tell me either, so, why did you?” 

“There’s a simple explanation for that,” he said, a knowing smile playing on his lips. “In case you haven’t noticed, you are very special to me, Elizabeth Foredale, and I want you to know me. The real me. Isn’t this what people do? To get to know each other?” 

Even in the low light, his eyes were shining. His gaze could be described with many words, none of which was a synonym for friendly.

Touched by his words and without giving herself time to change her mind, Elizabeth’s hand cradled his jaw, and her lips touched his dimpled cheek in a gentle but lingering kiss.

After a fraction of a second to overcome the surprise, Hamid revelled on it, letting his eyes flutter closed to fully appreciate the gentleness of her touch, and his lips stretched into a wide grin.

It was nothing like the fleeting air kisses they often share. 

Before she considered ending the kiss, his hand covered hers, keeping it in place.

The alchool had drained her body, but right now every nerve was suddenly alight by his presence, by the warm touch of his hand on top of hers.

His eyes fluttered open to meet hers in a sidelong glance. They knew. They had crossed the line. They were no longer in friends’ territory. And, for the first time, she let herself want more, ignoring the boundary she herself tried to place between them.

She got greedy. 

When her lips slowly but steadily glided over the roughness of the slight growth of beard of his unshaved face to the turned corner of his smile, Hamid let out a soft exhale through his nose. The warmth of the air travelled over the skin of her hand and wrist inflaming her entirely, and her heartbeats sped up.

Taking a deep breath, her lungs were filled with Hamid's fancy perfume. It was intoxicating in an unexpected way: it quietened the entire world. Actually it quietened her mind. For once, her brain was entirely focused on this moment and all the overwhelming feelings Hamid stirred on her.

Any hesitancy slipped away at the sight of his tongue moistening his lips. And that was the last thing her eyes registered. Her brain could no longer focus on anything that was not Hamid's lips smoothly moving over hers.

His lips were very soft, incredibly so against her own. They brushed against hers for a brief quiet moment, but it was enough to irradiate a heat, an electricity throughtout her body. It was like a dam breaking, and she was flooded with so much want. The second time her lips brushed against his, she was certain this wasn't like any kiss she had before.

She pulled away enough to gaze into his eyes, the corners crinkled by an adoringly smile; even such a diminute distance seemed unbearable to Hamid, and his hand cupped her cheek to close the distance between their mouths almost entirely.

The tip of his long curved nose brushed against the tip of hers, and she could hear the smile in his voice when he said her name in awe, even with her eyes closed. His thumb brushed her lips, and butterflies fluttered in her stomach.

In her mind, Elizabeth envisioned more than once where and when their first kiss could happen. It always envolved a perfect romantic scenario, careful planning, fancy dinners and Hamid probably literally sweeping her off her feet. However, the reality was unplanned, and her brain might have short-circuited at some point... There's not even a carefully selected soundtrack playing in the background, just the sounds of their breathing and the pitter-patter of rain.

Yet, nothing could be more perfect than the way his lips welcomed hers. Her fantasies couldn’t compete with the reality of the tenderness of every gesture of his, the pressure of his lips, the light touch of his tongue over her lower lip, or the hand cupping her cheek so very gently.

When Elizabeth pulled back, his nose nuzzled her jaw and down her neck, and she gasped. The sound pleased Hamid, who hummed against her jaw and captured her lips one last time.

Her eyes met his briefly, but she quickly lowered her face, overcame by embarrassment and doubts of what to do or say.

The backs of his fingers caressed her cheek, and he whispered, “I could kiss you forever, Liz.”  

When her eyes raised to meet his, Hamid was already staring at her. His gaze could be described with many words, none amongst them was a synonym for friendly, and she rolled her lips inside her mouth.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” 

She shook her head, and took a deep calming breath.

“You make me feel many things,” -- happy, giddy, confused, excited... and several other she'd be mortified to admit even to herself... -- “’Uncomfortable’ is not one of them.” 

His lips split into the widest grin she’s ever seen, before he swallowed and asked in a low and husky voice, “Care to tell me how I make you feel now?”  

“Right now?” Her lips rolled inside her mouth, and she focused on the feeling of being in his arms earlier. Except for her dear father, she can’t remember feeling safer around a man nor willing to spend a lifetime in an embrace. “Happy. Safe.” 

“I am glad you do. I want you to trust me.” 

She met his stare again, and he was flashing a broad unabashed smile. They didn’t move an inch, staring into each other's eyes. Was she even breathing? She couldn’t be certain she was. 

“Aren’t you curious about how you make me feel?”  

His question startled her. Of course, she wanted to know that, but how could she speak over the thunderous beating of her heart and risking dozens of butterflies flying away if she opened her mouth, like in the Brazilian soap operas with magical realism she used to watch with her mother as a kid. She pursed her lips and nodded, which was enough for him to carry on. 

“You also make me feel many emotions, Liz. The most frequent is happiness. A complete, perfect and unwavering bliss whenever I am around you. And even when we’re not together… My days are more vibrant since you are in my life…” 

“Even after tonight?”  

“Why would tonight change anything?” 

“Aren’t you even a little upset? Tired?” 

“Tired?” He clicked his tongue. Leaning impossibly closer, he whispered into her ear, “Inşallah[4], someday you’ll see how long I can keep going without any sleep...” When Elizabeth shivered, the pleased smirk in his lips indicated that was the intended effect, and he rubbed his hands against her arms. “However, you, my dear, seriously need to rest.” 

“Actually, father wanted to have breakfast with me and after brunch I promised to go with Annabelle and Briar to this spa at Moorfield and –” 

“As much as I believe you to be an overachiever, you need to rest, Liz,” he cut off the flood of words. “Besides, the last Annabelle checked on you was around 4am... So, trust me on this, go back to bed, we won’t see any of them before lunch. And message your father, tell him you have a minor headache and will be staying in your room until you feel better…”  

Elizabeth listened to his reasoning and bit one thumbnail. Judging by the way she looked, no amount of coffee would keep her functional long enough to perform any social activity. Finally, she gave in to the irresistible call of the bed.  

Hamid went to the en-suite, while she typed the message to her father, ignoring the stinging feeling in her stomach, that could be guilty from skipping breakfast with him or due to the hole the alcohol probably burnt there. But Hamid was right, it was past the time to prioritize her needs, even if it meant disappointing others. 

After texting her friends, she was about to go through the several notifications in the screen, when the en-suite door opened and closed. Hamid’s silhouette strolling toward the soft light of the bedroom was all broad shoulders and strong arms. Over the screen of the mobile, her gaze fixed at him, admiring his confident swagger towards her.  

The blue light from the screen denounced her attempt of appreciating the sight inconspicuously, and Hamid grinned at the attention but for once chose to say nothing about it. 

When he turned around to settle the medicines and a glass of water over the nightstand, Elizabeth admired his taut muscles, and noticed the dimples on his lower back right above the waist band of his jeans. Her fingers craved to map every inch of his uncovered skin, and the thought alone sent a flow of heat all over her body. She forced her eyes back to the screen and turned the airplane mode on before putting the mobile away.  

Leaning forward, he touched the side of her face gently and kissed the top of her head. 

“I think you’re all set,” he whispered against her hair, “I’ll let you sleep now.” 

“You’re leaving?” her tone didn’t conceal the surprise and disappointment. 

“Don’t you want me to go?” 

“I-I wouldn’t mind… If you wanted to... stay... it’s a big bed…” She fidgeted with the hem of the shirt, without raising her gaze to meet his, and couldn't find the right words to speak, and stuttered the ones she found, even if they didn't make sense, “It doesn’t... mean that we... anything... I guess... but you don’t have to go. If you don’t want to.” 

“I understand," he said, smiling to himself. "If I stay, do we get to cuddle like before?” 

She swallowed and couldn’t prevent the smile from curling her lips whem she nodded.  

Without another word, he sat on the bed.

She moved aside to give him space, and went under the covers, lying on her back. The fragrance of his perfume on the pillows was inebriating.

When the mattress shifted with his weight, she took a deep breath. The lights were dimmed to their softest glow and a moment later, Hamid was lying beside her on his back, stirring the flutter of thousands of butterflies in her stomach. 

He stretched one arm, adjusted the pillow over it, and, with a nod of his head, invited her to rest her head.

Elizabeth obliged, moving closer and let her head rest in the pillow. Hamid's arm encircled her waist, he kissed her temple and whispered in her ear, “Sleep tight, Liz!”

Her answer was an almost inaudible “You too, Hamid.”

In Hamid's embrace, Morpheus visited Elizabeth unsurprisingly fast, not giving her any time for second guessing her decisions.  

A familiar melody invaded his dreamless sleep and Edmund stirred in the bed, failing to recognize his whereabouts.  

The mattress shifted when the woman sleeping beside him turned around, facing the other way. Flashes from their conversation and kisses invaded his mind, but were soon chased away by the persistent melody getting louder.

His hand patted his pants first, and then the space between them until he found the mobile that slipped from his pocket.  

It was dark and he could barely open his sleepy eyes, but he would recognize the caller’s picture anywhere.  

His gaze flicked to the black hair sprawled over the duvet, and he jumped out of the bed, instinctively shying away from the incriminating scene. Moving closer to the wall, he coughed twice, clearing his throat, before accepting the call, and prayed for silence. 

“Hello, mother,” he spoke in the lowest but clearest tone possible trying not to wake the woman in bed. 

“Let me talk to Theresa,” the woman barked the order, forgetting any rule of politeness – not that she reserved that kind of curtesy to her eldest son, especially not after he became the only one. 

“She’s currently not...” Edmund stuttered and considered what to answer. “We’re not together... at the moment. I was sleeping.” 

“She’s not with you!” The woman muttered something under her breath he could only assume were not compliments about his fiancée’s competence to follow orders. “Find her. And have her call me. Immediately.” 

“Alright, mother. I’ll let her know you –” 

Before he could finish the sentence, the call ended.  

The conscience of where he was standing and with whom and the possibility of a scandal was enough to force out of his body any sleep. A last longingly gaze focused on the woman sleeping before he cautiously sneaked out of the bedroom. This was just the beginning.

Notes:

[1] Hayatım – Turkish – term of endearment that means “my life” or “my dear or darling” in this context. 

[2] Babam and dedem – Turkish – father and grandfather. 

[3] Güzelim – Turkish – mean “my beautiful”. 

[4] Inşallah – In Turkish, the word inşallah or inşaallah means "If God wishes and grants" 

[vivi-designs]

What’s in Maddie’s teapot

Anything you can comprehend is in that teapot, shark guitar, hotdog, gas mask, cake, caterpillar, carrier pigeon, neon chess board, gold Beatle tamagotchi, cigarette lollypop, wonderlandian ouija board, spider lightbulb, Dali clock, hand shaped silverware, face cup, teeth cup. If it has eyes or remotely creature shape it is alive, except the gas mask. Star fish and buttons.

[animebw]

*patiently waits for the list of titles you're giving a chance this Fail season*

WELL WAIT NO LONGER MY FINE FRIEND

Must-Watch

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really Really Really Really Really Love You

Listen, do you know how good a harem anime has to be for me to recommend it? This was one of the funniest manga I've read and the adaptation does it justice and more.

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Yeah, it lived up to the hype. Let's see if it can match the strength of those incredible opening episodes for its whole run.

Spy x Family Season 2

THEY GOD MASAAKI GODDAMN YUASA TO DO THE NEW OP WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

Runners-Up

Firefighter Daigo: Rescue in Orange

I guess Brain's Base has decided that making Kennjirou Tsuda narrate everything is a recipe for success, lol. But this is shaping up to be a really strong mix of character drama and disaster movie, with the courage to really take its time and let the weight of its sequences settle.

Migi and Dali

I don't think I can properly describe this one except to tell you to watch the first episode knowing nothing about what to expect.

Overtake

Good season for adult workplace drama between this and Daigo. More of an inspirational sports story for F4 racing, but done really well so far.

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions

Honestly the detective side of this one is kinda weak so far. Thank god the characters are so entertaining and the production is so wonderfully energetic so you barely mind.

Shy

I was initially gonna recommend just reading the manga on this one, but then the second episode turned out lightyears better than the first, so hey. If you're looking for a superhero show to tide you over until MHA's next season, put this on your list.

Undead Unluck

Now this is a much better use of Fire Force's director than Fire Force was. Also, I have it on good authority that the gross groping gags vanish pretty quickly into the manga, so breathe easy on that front.

If You Have Time

Arknights: Perish in Frost

I'm still waiting to see if this can follow up on the first season's actually really good finale or if it'll settle into being just kinda boring again. Fingers crossed!

I'm in Love With the Villainness

I remember bouncing off the manga for this one, and the adaptation isn't exactly a stunner. But it's breezing through the most annoying parts of the opening chapters at a strong clip, so here's hoping it gets to the good stuff soon!

Stardust Telepath

Look, the main character's voice being really squeaky and annoying is usually a dealbreaker for me, but this has enough charm for me to stomach it for now. Love seeing CGDCT shows with this much energy in the production.

Uma Musume Season 3

I'll admit, that was probably the strongest opening episode we've had for an Uma Musume season. Will this be the moment the weird horse idol show finally clicks for me? Let's find out!

On Thin Ice

Ancient Magus Bride Season 2 Part 2

Ugh, this is really turning into a drag. I want to be on board with more Magus Bride, but the increasingly limp production and complete lack of focus on the main relationship are running my interest into the ground.

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer

I would very much like the main female character to gain a second personality trait beyond loving her daddy please and thank you.

Shield Hero Season 3

I... have no excuse for myself.

Already Dropped

16Bit Sensation Another Layer

Like I said:annoying squeaky moe voices are usually a dealbreaker for me. I made it seven minutes into the first episode before I couldn't stand listening to the protagonist for another second.

Bullbuster

I'll give you this, Bullbuster, it takes effort to take a premise like mecha vs monster battles filtered through realistic corporate and engineering bureaucracy and make it boring.

Faraway Paladin Season 2

God, did I really use to like this show? I'm sure I did, but this first episode really make me question what was ever interesting about it

Vexations of a Shut-In Vampire Princess

It took all of five minutes for the show to get into an extended sequence of the main character almost peeing herself in her pajamas. Hard pass.

[miyagi-hokarate]

Daniel LaRusso 8, 17, 24, 25 for the character ask game!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! Sorry for taking forever to answer this 😭 (I am neglecting the other asks in my 'box)

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I've been lucky enough to curate my fandom experience that I haven't been subject to anything egregious for long, but I know there's a loud number of people who insist Daniel is "the real villain/bully" and whatnot. No one in the fandom "does things" with that (fanart, fanfics, etc.), but reading meta is always like running into a wall lmao. Dodging them like bullets in The Matrix

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Funnily enough, I'm not much of a big shipper! Obviously there are exceptions (as you can see on my blog...) but I'm more likely not to be emotionally invested in a ship than otherwise. Daniel as a protagonist is a slight exception, as I quite like a few of his ships to varying amounts of investment (Lawrusso, Danzen, Damiko, Dali, etc.) but Silverusso is not one of them. Besides through an analytical lens, it's not a ship I find myself engaging with much — but it sure does make for some terrific meta!

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

HAHA OH NO, I'M BAD WITH THESE (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

This is going to sound so dumb, but my favorite Shakespearean play is Romeo and Juliet, and I have made comparisons to Daniel and each of the lovers before because I am Shakespeare-brained (not in a smart way — in a nerd way); in Romeo's case, they're both lovers who're pushed into violence when all they wanted was to be merry. In Juliet's case, they're both fiery, determined youths who wield that bright, spirited spark in a tightly held fist (and Daniel would 100% do Juliet's soliloquy, yappyass). The Venn Diagram of the things I like are a hot mess

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Oh in the beginning, I thought Daniel was a fine fellow but didn't think much else. He was cute and spunky, but I otherwise wouldn't have said much about his character or his nuances and depth. It wasn't until watching The Karate Kid II, season 2 of Cobra Kai, and rewatching The Karate Kid when I realized, "Man, this is a great kid."

I love Daniel now, if that isn't clear ahdkkskfj. I mean, there's just so much to love: the previously mentioned fire, his spirit, the love and sensitivity he has, the earnestness Daniel exhibits all the time, his desire to learn and connect, and much more. Daniel (EXPLODES)

Thanks for the ask again!! and answered so late AAAUGH

(Send mecharacter asks!)

[thistransient]

Is there anywhere in Taiwan you would recommend visiting that's not on all the must-see lists?

I had a look at some must-see lists so I could make a well-informed answer, and I have to admit I haven't even been to all the places listed! One of these days I'll make it to Alishan 阿里山 and ride that extremely early train... To be honest, I think most must-see things are on there for a reason, and I do bring people who visit me to go see them, and have a good time at it myself. I feel "not on the list" recommendations can be approached from two perspectives: either you've already exhausted the list and are looking for more things to do that align with your personal niche interests, or you're a tourist with a shorter time frame willing to exert the energy to get somewhere a bit more difficult.

For the latter, while it's still on some lists, I did enjoy Lukang 鹿港 a lot, if you don't have a private vehicle (which I do not) it does not have a train station and thus requires more public transport connections than usual. The historic small town experience is worth it though. My other recommendation is Lanyu 蘭嶼, the issue here being that one must either fly or take a ferry (my friend and I took a ferry from Kenting 墾丁 the first day it reopened after being repeatedly postponed due to bad weather, I do NOT recommend this). It rained almost the whole time (we scootered around anyways), and there was approximately one restaurant open but it was my first time going to one of the outlying islands so it made an impression on me. I've heard tell Penghu 澎湖 is possibly a better choice if you had to pick one. I've never heard anyone talk about going to Matsu 馬祖列島 except a woman I met in a bar once who said there's a ten hour ferry from Keelung 基隆, so that could be an adventure (now I'm just talking about places I want to go, hah). Outlying islands aside, there are a lot of beautiful mountains that require planning and permits and more knee strain than has ever appealed to me, so if you're interested in that kind of hard-to-get-to I unfortunately cannot help with specifics (but it's something to look into).

If you fall into the first category and are looking for more things to see after you feel like you've seen it all, I will hope ardently that you are also into reading in Chinese and recommend you a book 小小站．停一下：最悠哉的37個鐵道私景點 by 段慧琳 about small/remote/obscure train stations around Taiwan. So far I've only been to a few on the north and east coasts (Jinlun 金崙, Dali 大里, Badouzi 八斗子... I've been to Wai'ao 外奧 too but is that really obscure?) but it's something I've found rewarding. (I'd like to go to the other 奧s, 蘇澳, 東奧, and 南澳 too). I don't think there is anything particularly mind-blowing per se in any of these places, but if you find joy in poking around by the sea (often very scenic with the adjacent mountains), having a chat with local people, and looking out train windows, then it's a thing to do.

I will say I have spent a lot more time in the general Taipei area than anywhere else, although my recommendations skew towards "quiet places you can get to without a private vehicle", like my ever-beloved Waziwei 挖子尾, although who can say if it'll still be quiet after they finish the bridge, alas. If you have some more specific interests re: Taipei, do ask!

[floral-ashes]

Thought I’d share this review of Gender/Fucking: The Pleasures and Politics of Living in a Gendered Body, posted to Goodreads by a user named Haley:

“Wow, wow, WOW— this is a book that invites you, the reader, not only to learn but also to EXPLORE— it’s a patchwork quilt of memoirs, erotic interludes, and critical analysis, and it’s gripping and devastating at every turn. Florence Ashley, a transfem jurist and bioethicist, is a brilliant writer with a penchant for luscious prose and biting commentary. This collection is equally brilliant, introducing the concept of “academic smut” as a vehicle for telling stories of love, loss, growth, and tragedy against a backdrop of trans identity and intellectualism. As a nonbinary person, I found myself represented in living color on every page; reading this collection left me tear-stained and devastated, and yet immeasurably hopeful at the same time. It’s a storytelling format I could never have predicted enjoying, as I’m rather open about not enjoying erotica as a written genre (with the exception of fanfiction!) due to my own discomfort with first-person-POV sex— however, the erotica here DOES something. It gives a tangible example of the theories and thought-processes that Florence describes in each chapter; it gives the reader an opportunity to imagine sexual dynamics playing out not only in front of them but with them in the driver’s seat, and again— as someone whose queer activities echo some of Florence’s own, it was deeply eye-opening to see myself and my desires on paper that exposes the pleasure, shame, and possibilities that we all partake in.

In particular, I'm drawn to one phrase that Florence concludes with in their "Trespass on the Fox" essay: these are questions without answers. am i open to being loved, to being lovable? maybe. Upon reading that, I had to sit and stare blankly at the wall for a time I can't begin to measure. Not only for the raw questioning of how I exist in regards to love, but for the openness in stating that these words, and all the words in Florence's collection, do not exist to serve as definitive answers of, well, pretty much anything! I've spent the past 18 years of my life entrenched in academia, and the idea that I don't have to always answer "yes" or "no" when asked about my "take" on something isn't necessarily foreign, but it's under-represented in nonfiction works, and it was a breath of fresh air to see it so frankly discussed here.

Though I am hesitant to describe any essay in detail, as I do truly think each entry deserves to be experienced firsthand, I want to conclude my review with an analysis of "Libidinal Vertigo," one of two essays that Florence warns about in their Preface for their potentially-triggering material. It's a deeply unsettling essay for two reasons: one, it discusses famed (or, rather, infamous) TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) scholars like Mary Daly in detail, and their works are ones that have caused me a lot of personal strife as well; two, it explores Florence's (and that of all transfem folx) vulnerability to the very same transphobic rhetoric that most of us wish was contained solely in now-fading academic texts. We (and I use this word here confidently, despite existing not as a transfem person as AFAB and nonbinary) are all deeply susceptible to the internalized transphobia that runs rampant across our social media threads and bathroom-sink conversations. Florence, in protest of Janice Raymond's vitriol, invites us to embrace our monstrosity... echoing a brilliant passage of poetry discussing Frankenstein many pages prior. If they cast us as monsters, without giving us a chance to recite our lines, then perhaps we should acknowledge our hatred— and use it as fuel to empower healing amongst our own.

I cannot put into words how much I recommend this collection; it deserves to be immortalized in the canon of transgender studies, and it also deserves to be passed around amongst friends and highlighted and annotated to no end, the pages themselves becoming a living museum of memory and community. Whether you are trans, cis, or beginning your own journey of self-discovery, this book is a light amongst a sea of uncertainty and darkness, and I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of your own.

Note: I receive a gifted ARC from Clash Books; as always, I was under no obligation to leave a review, and all my thoughts/ramblings are my own <3”

[lafrexniere]

heyyy i was wondering if you can do mostly more dali dvorsky fluffs or some spicy things w the draft boys??

You rushed downstairs to a knock on your door, already knowing who it would be. You opened the door to see your boyfriend all dressed up with flowers.

“Happy anniversary my love,” he smiled handing you the flowers.

“Dali you spoil me,” you said as you took the flowers to the kitchen, he followed behind you. You put them in a vase on the counter, that you knew one of your parents would take up to your room later. 

“I’m just treating you how you should be treated,” he grinned holding out his hand. You took it as the two of you walked out the door ready for the fancy dinner you would have to celebrate. 

The two of you arrived at the restaurant taking a seat at the table reserved. You couldn’t stop smiling, already one year had passed with your favorite person, you were both on steady paths. He was headed to St. Louis for hockey, and you were attending college, but this would be one of your last dates together. 

“This is nice,” he smiled taking your hand across the table.

“Yeah, I wish we didn’t have to do the distance thing again,” you sighed. 

“It will be okay Y/N, trust me,” he gave you a look that would always make you melt. You nodded at him as the waiter came over to take your order. You each picked your meal and went back to the conversation once he left. 

“You can always come to visit me too,” he said. 

 “Oh, I plan on it, I did last time I’ll do it again,” you smiled. 

“I wish I could just take you with me, hide in my suitcase or something,” he laughed.

“That’s a good plan, except you won’t be able to fit anything you need,” you smiled.

“The only thing I need is you,” he said. You blushed and looked away, you didn’t like blushing in front of him no matter how many times he told you it was adorable and it was how he knew he was doing something right. 

“Dali you might need some clothes too,” you laughed.

“Okay you’re right,” he smiled as your food approached the table. The two you dug in immediately.

“I’m gonna miss coming here with you,” you said.

“I know, but we will adjust and it will be okay, virtual dinner dates weren’t too bad,” he said. He always knew how to find the positive in everything, it was one of the things you loved most about him, especially as an overthinker. 

“No, they weren’t,”

“You can not tell me that you didn’t like eating in your pajamas in bed,” he grinned. 

“I very much enjoyed that,” you said. 

“And we will enjoy it again until I can be right there next to you,” he said. 

“I can’t wait for that day,” you said, “I’m already planning a visit as we speak.”

“Seriously?”

“You think I’d miss your first game?”

“No no no, I mean I don’t know, it’s far,” he said taking back what he said. 

“Nothing is too far for my Dali,” you smiled.

___________________________ Dvorsky Fluff