#except they do matter. much more to the kid then to our asses. so we go with the option that's preferable for the kid.

[ominous-feychild]

Hi, guys. It's me, Barlowe.

No fun aesthetics, none of that. We're addressing the election today.

I never thought I'd be political on my blog—and, in fact, avoided it except for where I really wanted to get things out to everyone, like Project 2025—but circumstances have forced me to step up.

For those who want to see my actual Writeblr intro, you can find it here. This post is getting pinned to my blog for a while.

So, hi. Barlowe here.

I'm an autistic lesbian with health issues I'm too poor to treat.

I'm currently in a relationship with a Mexican-American woman.

My older sister, although we don't really get along, is trans.

I do not care about my relationship with her. What matters is that she is in legitimate danger. Because of the results of the election.

My girlfriend? She's in danger, too. She had people yell and spit at and shove her during Trump's first term, and she had little to nobody she could turn to for help. Like me, she's chock-full of struggles and disabilities. So much so that I almost want to say she's had it even worse than me in that regard.

But I won't be comparing struggles here; that's not the point.

My little sister is still a teenager. She lives in Florida.

As a 13-year-old, she had people call her a slut for wearing a tank top.

A tank top.

It's Florida. It's hot.

She was 13.

Do you know the amount of rage I felt when I heard that?

I'm a nonviolent af grown-ass adult and I wanted to track down those kids to beat them tf up. I wanted to teach them a lesson to never treat my little sister like that again.

But they aren't the source of the problem, do you know that?

The source of the problem is their parents. The media. The internet, and echo chambers full of disgusting, sexist pigs who reduce women—and girls—to nothing more than sex objects for men.

“Grab 'em by the pussy.”

Did we all forget that?

Did we all forget how disgusting that pathetic excuse for a man is?

Did we ignore all of his crimes, all of the things he's done?

Why? Because Harris is a black woman? Because she's mixed? Because she's flawed? Because she didn't deserve to win?

Listen to me.

That's not good enough.

Maybe she didn't deserve to win. But do you know what?

Nor did Trump.

Trump deserves to be IN JAIL.

He's racist, he's xenophobic, he's sexist, a rapist, a homophobe, a convicted felon, and so, so much more.

And yet here we are.

How did millions of people vote a man like that into office?

I would've gone running for the hills at just ONE of those things?

... but that's not the point.

We're here now, except... things aren't quite as clear-cut as we've been led to believe.

There's an interesting saying that goes something like:

“People most often expect from others what they know of themselves.”

And what did Trump most love screaming at the hills?

That the votes of 2020 were rigged.

And he said to “find votes”.

Well, it looks like he found them.

Or, at the very least, he's gotten rid of Democratic ones.

There were bomb threats called in on democratic-leaning polling locations, machines “didn't recognize” ballots, democratic ballots were rejected for inane reasons, and ballots were burned.

Do you think a man so obsessed with so-called “rigging” wouldn't engage in it himself? Whether he truly believed it or not—which, it's been proven that he didn't, and only claimed so to rile up his cultish followers, causing January 6th—who's to say he wouldn't do it himself to “even out the playing field” so to speak? Who's to say a man like him wouldn't claim election fraud 4 years in advance just to pull the wool over all of our collective eyes later?

I'm not saying that he hasn't won.

But I am saying it's not goddamn over.

There's petitions you can sign demanding for recounts [EDIT: THEY DELETED THE LAST ONE!!!! THIS IS A REPLACEMENT!!!]. You can contact Harris to beg her to not take this lying down. You can—and SHOULD—contact the White House directly.

Listen to me.

Check out Project 2025.

My sweet, lovely girlfriend has been shoved and verbally abused—harassed into literal agoraphobia that she's already slipping back into just because of the election's results—by people who ate up the hateful rhetoric of the Right.

She lives in a Blue State.

Even while my trans sister was male-presenting, she was treated differently—coldly—before she cut her hair short again. Suddenly, people would smile at her on the streets again.

She's since started transitioning, and what about now?

My little sister was physically bullied while she lived in Texas.

They, too, are lucky I was never around for that.

Now, in Florida, I doubt she fares much better.

My friend, who's a teacher in Texas, has been forced to publish under a pseudonym and try their complete and utter best to hide their writing so they're not fired for her job. Why?

Because the MC's nonbinary.

My friend is terrified for their son, growing up in a world like this. They're terrified to have another kid—which they want—because 'what if it's a daughter?' They don't want to bring a girl into a world like this.

And they don't want to risk a pregnancy that can end their life.

People all across the states are being forced to give birth to the children of their rapists... or die because of complications in the womb.

Babies are being forced to die slowly in the womb rather than humanely, through “abortion”, after it's clear they're dying, but “still have a heartbeat.”

Queer folk, PoC, and immigrants have been targeted and live in fear for their lives. They deal with VERY real violence and harassment, even if you don't see it yourself.

This is all the lasting effects of Trump's first term as president.

He and his followers spread a hateful rhetoric strongly aligning with Hitler's before the man took over. They fearmonger and sell out minorities as the reason everything's wrong in this country.

They make minorities a scapegoat, and make them into targets.

Regardless of the actual results of the election, these so-called “victories” for the Right only embolden the bigots to act more and more egregiously.

It doesn't matter if you're “one of the good ones”. It doesn't matter if “most Republicans aren't like that”. It doesn't matter what you think.

What matters is reality.

And reality is: a Trump victory means victory for the extremists.

They ran with it the first time.

What do you think they're going to do with it this time?

This all isn't to sound doomeristic, though—I think we still have a chance. I think Trump's rigged this thing for a reason. I think we need to push for this stuff to be exposed.

But it's going to take everything we have, guys.

Sure, maybe Harris isn't perfect. She's questionable af in a LOT of places, and I personally hate her stances on Palestine. I'm sure most of all of us do. But, do you really think Trump will be any kinder?

Do you really care to doom everyone else off of the miniscule chance that he'll decide to help them?

Listen: Harris isn't trying to turn the States into the next fascist dictatorship. Trump is. Harris isn't showing EVERY single “preparing for a genocide” red flag. Trump. IS.

Petition for recounts. Tell Harris not to give up.

And contact the White House telling them this is not acceptable.

Complain about the bomb threats. Complain about the lost ballots. Complain about the tampered-with ballots. Complain about the burned ballots, complain about the rejected ballots, and don't stop fighting tooth-and-nail like Trump kicked and screamed after the 2020 election.

Don't give up. It's not too late.

And, to my followers?

Let me make this abundantly clear.

If any of you voted for Trump? If any of you wanted him to win, or for Harris to lose?

Then get the fuck off my blog.

I don't give a shit what kind of relationship we've had in the past, or if you liked my writing, or any of that.

A loss for Harris is a win for Trump—it's that simple.

You aren't morally superior for choosing not to vote for Harris no matter WHAT reason you had for it. You aren't morally superior for finding her dubious, for hating her views on Palestine, or for refraining from choosing either of the two evils.

You're a coward.

An enabler, comforting yourself by telling yourself “at least you didn't have a hand in {whatever turned you against her}”.

Sure, you didn't kill the sheep.

But you left the gates open for the wolves.

And that makes you responsible for their deaths.

You knew the risks of leaving the gate open. But you did it anyway.

And, to any of you who voted for Trump?

I want you to know I HATE you.

No matter what, no matter who, no matter WHY.

I consider you all equally responsible for anything and everything that happens as a result of his presidency if it comes to be.

It isn't “just politics”.

It isn't something you can just wipe your hands clean of.

Maybe you don't have to face the consequences for the things that come from this, but I, the people I love, and countless others do.

It's not “just politics”.

It's our fucking lives.

And I hope, one of these days, you learn to regret it as much as the rest of us.

So, to those of you who left the gate open?

Do yourself a favor.

Get the fuck off my blog before I find out you did.

[amplexadversary]

*sigh*

someone here failed the child empathy challenge today >_>

one of my family members used to work at a school and wanted my help making little goodie bags of halloween candy because we like to know how many kids to expect each year

problem is, this family member mentioned wanting to hand each kid a baggie, and when I pointed out that hey, maybe that would come off as kind of lame to the kids, they tend to prefer being able to pick their treat themselves, maybe we should just present the basket of little baggies and say "take one?" (the bags are see-through). the response I got was "well that's kind of insulting to me, personally, because I came up with the idea to hand them out."

and I'm just sitting here thinking "seriously??? you're usually one of the reasonable ones. Why settle for 'good enough' when you can make the kids happier with exactly zero extra effort on any of our parts?" <_<

Like, a huge thing kids don't tend to like is adults who need to have everything "just so." Kids like a little chaos, they like a big tub of things they can choose from, and they like to have as many limited instances of being able to pick literally anything for themselves as they can, because nearly everything in their lives is decided for them.

I'm not even going to go into the pushback on "maybe we should have a few 'allergy-free' bags in the mix so that kids can choose a bag that they can eat everything out of'' - actually fuck it I am. To that I got "well those kids' parents will take the candy they can't eat'' That is not the point? The point is that those kids effectively get less candy? Don't go on to me about equality and then snub equity in the same breath ffs (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

[gravegroves]

Okay, little stream-of-consciousness-moment:

Billy, who's mind is like a steel trap, who isn't a scared little child, but a healthy, angry young adult. And the mindflayer doesn't even know what hit it. One second it's infiltrating grey matter, overtaking neural pathways and becoming one with this new vessel and the next second it's burning alive, it's crumbling and shrinking and screeching in agony as the human body does what is does best to foreign invaders: try to kill it.

I've always loved the posts on tumblr that explore how deeply weird humans would be to aliens. Our physiology, our mentality, when spoken of as animal traits they are all deeply disturbing. We're persistence predators. We're built to last. We can survive unimaginable horrors (and also die from the stupidest, most everyday things). Our main predator, is ourselves. A bite from a child can kill another human just from the bacteria alone if left untreated. Our bodies are designed to kill entities both within and without.

Humans are fucking terrifying.

So the mindflayer is so unprepared for an adult human who's been through too much shit already. Not just a tired little slip of a kid, but a healthy, entering-his-prime human and is eradicated with extreme prejudice by nothing more than a good immune system going into overdrive.

But it's too deeply imbeded, so the body again does what it can to protect itself, it encases it. Within the body, but separate. Calcified. Caged.

So here's Billy, who has a rather spotty memory of a car crash and feels like he has a head cold for a couple of days before he gets on with his life. Only weird shit keeps happening to him, now. Like that time he encounters a pack of dogs while out drinking by the quarry, except they look really fucked-up the closer they get, not like any dog Billy's ever seen before, and just as he's prepared for an attack from these things, they just walk up to him and sniff around a bit with their weird flower heads blooming and closing, but otherwise leaving him unharmed. And Billy's just this side of drunk where terrible ideas seem kinda brilliant and he tells the things to sit. And they do. Amazed, he tosses his beer bottle and tells them go fetch, and again, one does.

And then when it's time to go home Billy offhandedly tells them to get lost and they run off back into the woods, and when he wakes up in the morning it's easy to rationalise it away. Probably the beer had been rolling around in the car for too long and it went bad and fucked him up. Should just have thrown the whole sixpack out. Those were just regular dogs, for sure. Except the next day, when he's out behind the pool building trying to find a good spot to smoke, he steps onto soft soil or something and falls down into a weird ass tunnel and a bunch of those same monster dogs just appear out of nowhere and pile themselves on top of each other for him to be able to climb out. And a couple of days later when Neil smacks Billy around for being out late again, one of those dogs honest to God comes crashing through the living room window to shred Neil's leg up and leaves just as quickly at the first sign of panic from Billy.

And yeah okay, by this stage Billy's figuring out things are kinda fucky around Hawkins, and so it's just Billy having his own little side adventure in the background while the rest of the gang are running around Hawkins trying desperately to find the Mindflayer, not knowing that Billy unknowingly trapped it within himself and is just living his life, teaching these weirdly obedient alien dogs to do tricks because they keep helping him or seeking him out.

Anyway, upside down is doomed because their leader is literally trapped inside Billy and Billy is just teaching these dog-things to steal cigarettes from the gas station and volunteering for the closing shift at the pool because he can just get the dogs to bring the pool noodles back into the shed.

[reblive]

An except from Eric’s journal that i’ve thought about often as of lately. I have no place to put my thought so I will speak on here. No intent for discourse, I just have no outlet to speak on this matter. If this is not the space for you, just don’t read it. I don’t really care to hear anything.

“Society may not realize what is happening but I have; you go to school, to get used to studying and learning how youre "supposed to" so that drains or filters out a little bit of human nature. but thats after your parents taught you whats right and wrong even though you may think differently, you still must to have more of your human nature blown out of your ass. society trys to make everyone act the same by burying all human nature and instincts. Thats what school, laws, jobs, and parents do If they realize it or not and them, the few who stick to their natural instincts are casted out as psychos or lunatics or strangers or just plain different. crazy, strange, weird, wild, these words are not bad or degrading.. if humans were let to live how we would naturaly it would be chaos and anarchy and the human race wouldnt probably last that long, but hey guess what, thats how its supposed to be!!!!! society and goverments are only created to have order and calmness, which is exactly the opposite of pure human nature. take away all your laws and morals and just see what you can do. if the goverment was one entity it would be thinking "hey, lets make some order here and calm these crazy fucks down so we can be constructive and fight other goverments in our own little so called self created "civilizied world" and get rid of all those damn insticts everyone has" well shit I'm to tired wright anymor tonight, so until next time, fuck you all”

In some way in pains me to see the way he felt about the world and the wrong doings of those around him. If you take a second to sit and read what he’s saying it’s like part of his authenticity comes out and then transitions back to switching to speak to the audience and how he wanted to be seen. I can’t always articulate in words the feelings I get when I think about him but it’s genuinely always painful. He was so hurt, and described his pain, but still shadowed his true feelings of distress for the audience. He cared about what other people thought about him even in his writings, and it’s so disheartening that he was that broken and plague by the environment he was in. I take time to consider how people cannot feel empathy for him and I understand it due to the situation at hand (obviously) however, considering how he was 17 years old writing this, he was just a kid. He was once how we all once were, innocent and compelled to continue on the paths of our lives the way that the nature of society intended us to. It really goes to show how fucked up he had it. This draws me back to the butterfly effect, was there one decision by himself, or inflicted upon him by others that brought him to where he ended his life? Empathy is a theme he seems to disregard in his journal entries, and quite frankly, all of media and the world deems him as un empathetic because of his writings. We didn’t know how he thought of himself in his head, we didn’t know the guilt, destruction, and true pain he went through that was genuine. I find this a reason why there is much more weight put onto him within his person. “It’s only a tragedy if you think it is, and then it’s only a tragedy in your own mind.” (7/29/98) I suppose this is how we all (who empathize with E&D) feel and can relate to.

Thinking too much about his pain these days and what he once was and how he became what he was. Being truthful and honest are two different things. Being truthful, factual, what he did was terrible. Being honest, feelings, I have so much pain in my heart for how he was feeling. There’s nothing anyone can do now (whom empathize)

[egot1stical]

ramblings about how winter king is not a simon but an ice king from my insta story. no idea how much sense this makes

Not to post a serious analysis of mr oncest bait, but it's kind of... *wrong* to say the winter king is Simon? I think it's more accurate to call him an ice king who THINKS he's Simon. His whole bit is that he removed the madness of the crown from himself, but the ice king isn't just "simon but crazy". The ice king is the result of the wish crown's curse over the span of 1000 years breaking down Simon's psyche and replacing and warping and mixing it with Evergreen (specifically Gunther's warped view of him) and adding more madness and sadness till he basically experiences ego death. We know our Simon (at least at this point) considers he and ice king separate entities. They have pretty different personalities

Winter king is more like ice king than Simon:

* Physical stuff. Obviously. He's taller, has longer straighter hair, and is fucking bright blue+ still has evergreen's nose LOL. But also smaller stuff like the fact he dresses different and has different shaped glasses

* WAYYYYY more outgoing. Even before All That, Simon doesn't seem like the most outgoing guy. He would go on expeditions yes but could you imagine that guy throwing a party? No.

* Way more selfish and self absorbed. Which is in line with ice king, but now he's conventionally attractive so everyone else agrees. This is opposed to the fact Simon want to khs

* No consideration for PB. This is an interesting one, because it's the first departure from both our Simon and IK. Obviously ice king was terrible to PB LOL but like....he liked her.....because she was like betty..... And now Simon really respects her (and feels terrible about it.) while WK straight up does NOT care about her. Different from both, but closer to IK because he is a dickweed

* Deals with emotions differently than Simon. Seems to have completely blocked Betty out (assuming they were still close in this universe). And marceline bro... whatever happened there, ice marcy is the KID version of her. He has her bass, so she at least grew up and they've interacted. Maybe she saw him get "fixed" and was like.
Wow! You're not Simon!

* The name. Fionna's dream has the "ice prince", and that's what she calls Simon upon meeting him for the first time. If this was a True Simon, it would make more sense for him to be called the ice prince in universe, no? But he keeps the King title.

Simon spends a lot of the episode jealous of the winter king because he seems so well adiusted while he has the crown.

Simon has no magic, no nothing, but at least he has his brain back. The crown is very much directly linked to his loss of identity and to see WK be CONSCIOUS and LIKED and seemingly HIMSELF with magic is something he desperately wants especially at a time like this when his mental health is down the shitter while everyone talks about how much more fun he was when he was legitimately insane

The difference is that Simon spent every *conscious* moment FIGHTING the crown. Winter king is NOT fighting that shit. He says that he "conquered" it, but no you did not buddy. He is still dependent on it. He cannot survive without it. He just gave up. He's accepted that he's become one with it instead. So did ice king. Except without the madness of ice king, he can be a semi functional human being. He still gets the high of the crown and all its power, but this doesn't change the fact it Changed Who He IS.

Doesn't fucking matter rn becauee Simon hates himself and wants to be someone else but you get the idea. Winter king is just a version of Ice King LARPing as Simon. He can just do this way more convincingly even to himself because he can actually think now

Like “Betty? OH HAHA THE DEAD ONE” is an ice king ass reply and I swear to god at least part of the reason they didn’t get Tom Kenny to do his voice is because it would just be ice king’s voice again

also in regards to why candy queen is like that-Okay one, this goes with the name thing. Princess bubblegum. Normal. Candy Queen. Insane. Same as winter/ice king and ice prince. We cool?

Anyway

The Madness manifested in Simon/ice king in regards to Betty as romantic obsession. With the madness gone, CQ is the one feeling the brunt of these feelings- which would explain why Winter king doesn't remember feeling so Strongly about betty. Because Simon's feelings about her are naturally just fucking insane, it's so intertwined with the Madness that when that part is removed, so are any feelings towards Betty.

CQ is probably also obsessed with WK and "being together" because the sane part of her mind recognises that this madness is HIS and this is her fucked uo way of trying to like. Give it back.

That’s all I got

[zukosbangtan]

"zutara shippers are just a bunch of girls who self insert as katara bc they have a crush on zuko" okay... and? while this is not the case for most zutara shippers i still don't see the drag in it even if it was.

literally who cares. it's a fictional ship between two fictional characters from a fictional world. they do not exist. it's a tv series. a tv series made for entertainment. and oh how DARE girls even try to derive joy from a tv series meant to entertain!?!!

it's really annoying how kat@@ng shippers use this argument as a drag but i honestly also don't like how some zutara shippers seem to get weirdly hostile and defensive abt it and feel the need to fight tooth and nail to deny it. cause again, there's nothing wrong with it! there are no rules to shipping !! (i mean. in my opinion there are a few rules but they don't apply here so we move lol)

it's literally just misogyny. shipping is supposed to be fun but i forgot that girls, especially young girls, aren't allowed to have fun.

i know that a lot of kat@@ng shippers won't see anything wrong with this "drag" but i do wish that at least zutara shippers would stop acting like it's something girls should be shamed for and embarrassed abt.

also how could being a "self insert ship" be a drag when it comes to zutara but not to kata@ng when kata@ng is literally only canon bc it's brykes version of a self insert ship. and so the same thing they try to drag female zutara shippers for.

most of us first watched avatar when we were kids. zuko is a handsome and strong (and angsty) teenaged firebender prince; it's not surprising that a lot of young watchers had a crush on him. katara is a beautiful smart and powerful young waterbender that a lot of young girls growing up related and looked up to; it's also not surprising that a lot of girls imagined being her (at least i did lol). and if some of them decided to ship zutara based on that then so fucking what?? what's so wrong about that??

cause you're trying to tell me that it's weird and wrong when young girls insert themselves into a ship between two teenagers but it's totally fine and normal when bryke (two grown ass men) make a 12 year old boy their self insert character and make him date a 14 year old girl? like..that's not weird to yall?? i need you to be so fr.

again, it's just pure misogyny. it's like there's no space in which girls and women won't be ridiculed and shamed for even the most innocent things we do. they'll always try to deprive us from any type of joy and fun, even if it harms literally no one (well in this case, harms no one but the idea that katara could never possibly even think abt wanting anything else for herself than brykes idea of a self insert ship. cause remember, self inserting is only bad when girls do it. but when it's grown men? no problem!!).

the atla fandom is sadly no exception from that. i genuinely couldn't care less what or who ppl ship but it's just so sad to see how much misogyny is directed at specifically female zutara shippers. and what makes it even more fucked up is that it's not only from non-zutara shippers but from bryke themselves.

there's so many things that are wrong within this fandom but young girls imagining that they're katara and shipping themselves with zuko is definitely not one of those things and should be the least of our problems. like this is just such a dumb argument against zutara and such a silly thing to get mad abt in generel. like. why do u gaf. genuinely. why is this something that makes u mad. please be normal. and being misogynistic is definitely not normal.

well okay these are quite a lot of words for me just wanting to say that hi if you're a girl that ships zutara bc u like to insert yourself into the ship that's totally fine pls don't listen to those weirdos and i hope u have a lot of fun 👍👍

okay actually while we're at it it doesn't matter why you ship zutara; if it's bc you like their bond or their dynamic, bc you like the development of their relationship during the series, bc you're a fan of the enemies to lover trope, bc you're a fan of the betrayal trope, bc you like the red and blue symbolic of their ship, bc you just like how they physically look together, or bc you have a crush on zuko and/or katara and like to insert yourself into the ship or just bc it's a random monday evening and you just felt like shipping it or whaaaatsoever it doesn't matter okay none of these reasons are superior over other reasons and none of them are dumb reasons as long as you have FUN.

let's strive to make this a kinder and fun place for everyone but especially for girls and women please. thank you👍

[agaypanic]

Hey :) I was wondering if since it’s a leap year you would maybe write a oneshot or blurb or smth with James Maguire x reader (maybe like Quinn!reader from your series??) where she proposes on the 29th of February bc it’s a tradition that comes from Ireland?? I just think it would be so cute bc he just totally wouldn’t see it coming and I’ve never seen anyone do it in a fic before

Leap Day (James Maguire X Quinn!Reader)

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Summary: You, the girls, and James are now well into your twenties. Life is perfect, except for one little thing that’s been on your mind. After taking with your friends about it, you figure you should take matters into your own hands.

A/N: won’t put it on my series masterlist, but this could be seen as an epilogue of sorts to the fella series (even tho it’s not finished yet lol) but obvi it can be read as its own thing. Also im american so sorry for any terminology and such i get wrong. reader, james, and the girls are obvi aged up

***

If you had told your younger self that you and your friends ended up staying in Derry after finishing school, she would’ve thought you lost your mind. All she thought about was graduating and leaving home, traveling the world, and escaping her pain-in-the-ass sister Erin and somewhat crazy family.

But if she saw the life you had now, she’d probably understand. Because you had everything you truly wanted.

You had a nice little job close to your flat where you managed a bookstore. It was a quaint shop that became a frequent stop for some of the local teenagers. Erin also stopped by every now and then to boast about what she had already read.

When you weren’t working, you were with your friends. You were a bit more tame than you were in your adolescence, but that all usually went out the window when Michelle got a drink or two in her. Which happened often.

But the best part of your day was when you’d go home to see your boyfriend of many years, the love of your life, James Maguire.

“So, what’s goin’ on with you and him, anyway?” Michelle asked as she messily poured everyone a glass of wine. Every now and then, you and the girls got together for a night to get drunk and catch each other up on anything that happened since the last time you’d gotten together. For some reason, you and James were a bit of a hot topic tonight.

“What d’ya mean, Michelle? You know what’s going on with us.” You laughed, taking your wine glass from her.

“I mean, when are the two of you getting hitched? Has he even popped the question to ya?”

“Believe me, Michelle, you’d all be the first to know if we got engaged.” You said a bit glumly, downing your drink and waving your glass around for Michelle’s attention to fill it again.

“He still hasn’t asked you?” Clare asked with an incredulous look. From the start, she had been a big supporter of your and James’ relationship. If it was up to her, you’d probably have a few kids and a house in the countryside by now. “You’ve been going out since we were sixteen! And you just turned twenty-five a few months ago, didn’t you?”

“Yup.” You responded, popping the ‘p.’ “Nine years and no ring.” You held your bare hand up to prove your point. “But I don’t mind too much. As long as we’re together, that’s really what matters.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.” Clare cooed.

“It’s shit.” Michelle countered.

“Michelle’s right, Y/n,” Erin said, grabbing a crisp from the bowl in the middle of the table. “You’ve been waiting for James to propose since we finished at Our Lady Immaculate; admit it.”

“Have not!” You laughed at the absurdity of your sister’s sentence, but the looks everyone gave you made it die down. “Okay, maybe a little. But not seriously! It was just like a dream, you know? Like Erin thinking she’ll get published or Granda thinking Ma will actually divorce Daddy.” 

Everyone giggled, except for Erin, who was grumbling about your little jab.

“Be serious, Y/n!” Clare laughed, patting your hand. “You’ve been waiting for him to ask for a long while.”

You looked down at your glass, swirling the wine around with a sigh. 

“Maybe a bit.” You answered quietly. It hadn’t really nagged at you too much until recently. After all, you had been together for almost a decade, and everyone else around you seemed to be getting engaged or married. You loved James; truly, you did. But it felt like you were missing out a little. “But I’m fine with waiting.”

“The question is, Y/n, how long are you gonna have to wait until he actually does it?” Erin asked, leaning forward to stare at you. You shrugged, not really knowing the answer and not really wanting to respond.

“You might as well ask him, Y/n!” Your cousin Orla said with a grin. She was always an optimist. “He might just be scared you’ll say no!”

“You know, now that you say it, that’s probably why he hasn’t asked yet,” Michelle said, taking a sip from her wine glass that had been filled more graciously than anyone else’s. “After all, James is a pussy.”

“Don’t call my fella a pussy, Michelle!” You reprimanded, yet you still laughed along with everyone else.

“I can call my cousin what I want. And the fact is that he’s a pussy!”

“You know, that’s not a bad idea, really,” Clare said when everyone’s chuckles had died down. She gasped. “This is a leap year! You could ask him on the twenty-ninth!”

“That’s next week, Clare.” You said a bit nervously. Of course, you’d marry James in a heartbeat. But the thought of proposing, especially so soon, made you a bit sick to the stomach. Now you realize why James probably hasn’t asked you yet.

“It’s either next week or another four years, Y/n,” Michelle said with a teasing smile.

You gulped, feeling everyone’s eyes on you. As you thought about it, you had to admit that it wasn’t really a bad idea. Sure, you had less than an ideal amount of time to plan everything out. But you could probably get something small but nice together.

“Okay… Who’s going ring shopping with me?” The girls squealed at your question, getting up to surround you in a drunken group hug.

***

It was the twenty-ninth, and you were a nervous wreck. The ring weighed heavy in your pocket as you paced around your dining room. Dinner was sitting waiting on the table, and you were playing your little speech of love over and over in your head. All you needed was James, who should be home soon. But as the minutes ticked by, you wished the clock would freeze so you could have more time to prepare for this.

“Darling, I’m home!” James called out as he opened the door, and you realized you were out of time. You skipped out to the front hall to greet your boyfriend.

“Hi, Jamie.” You cooed, giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek before stepping away so he could hang up his coat. 

“Sorry I’m a bit late, needed to finish some things at the office.” 

“Oh, that’s okay, hun.” You waved your hands, both to dismiss his unneeded apology and to get rid of some nervous energy.

James gave you a quick peck before walking off to the bedroom to change, leaving you to overthink a bit more. You wanted tonight to be perfect. James deserved nothing less than that.

To pass the time, you grabbed a candle and placed it in the middle of the small table, finding a lighter to light the wick.

“It’s so nice to be home,” James murmured as he walked over to you, arms slinking around you to pull you close to his chest. He buried his face into your neck, leaving a kiss or two before taking a deep breath. “Dinner smells good.”

“Thank you, Jamie.” You turned your head to kiss his cheek before pulling away from him. The two of you sat down and started putting food on your plates.

You talked about anything and everything, James leading most of the conversation, which you were grateful for. You felt that if you had to talk too much, you’d either stutter too much or end up spoiling your surprise. James held your hand most of the time, playing with your fingers absentmindedly as he talked about something amusing that happened at work.

Eventually, your plates were clear and your cups were empty. James was finishing up a story about something a few of his lads had done while they were all watching some sports game you didn’t know much about. You knew that now was your time.

“Jamie?” He hummed, perking up at the sound of his name. 

“Yes, love?”

“I love you.” You didn’t really know how else to start.

“I love you, too, N/n,” James said, smiling as he squeezed your hand.

You took a deep breath, about to give the speech that you’d been preparing in your head.

“I’ve known that you were the one for me since we were fifth years. Probably since I first saw you at the bus stop. That’s probably crazy, knowing something like that so early and so young… But it’s true.” You laughed, thumb sweeping over his knuckles. “These have been the best years of my life, being with you. And it might be a bit selfish of me, but I want more of them.”

“Y/n…” James whispered, tilting his head. “What are you saying, darling?”

“We have a bit of a tradition here.” You say, wiggling your hand from James’ grasp and standing up. “Ladies’ Privilege, Bachelor’s Day, whatever you fancy calling it. Where on Leap Day, girls can propose to their fella.” You stuck your hand in your pocket, fiddling with the ring. “And seeing how it’s Leap Day now, and I have a ring and all, I guess there’s just one last thing to ask.”

James’ expression turned even more stunned when you got down on one knee, now holding the silver band up in front of him. 

“Will you marry me, Jamie?”

In the few seconds of silence after that question, you could feel your heartbeat in your ears. He looked at you stunned, and you desperately wanted to know what was going through his mind. How long would you have to kneel on the ground for him to give you an answer?

But then he smiled brightly, and all your worry slipped away.

“Of course, I’ll marry you!” James slipped out of his chair to join you on the floor and grabbed your face, giving you a long and deep kiss. You gripped his curls in your free hand, the other resting on his shoulder. When he pulled away, he let out an airy laugh. “I never thought I’d be the one being proposed to.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” You giggled with him as you slipped the band onto his ring finger. “Happy Leap Day.”

“Happy Leap Day, indeed,” James said before kissing you again.

[pollymorgan]

Ex-husband Negan Part 2

Warnings: Negan is still an asshole, it's almost getting to smut.

I stood up resolutely. Negan was now so close to me that not even a sheet of paper could fit between us. His body pressed so close to mine felt incredibly familiar. And unbelievably good! I stayed in this position for a few moments, but then I lowered my gaze and firmly pushed the big man in front of me to the side to escape the situation while I still could.

It has been three years since the last time we slept together, and I had sworn to myself that it would never happen again. It had been on Lizzie's birthday, which we spent with the whole family at an amusement park. Negan took every opportunity to whisper sweet, dirty things to me and secretly touch me. Until we ended up in the damn bathroom, making out, while my sister, her husband and sons, our daughters, and Steve were waiting at the food stand to get our lunch.

After that, nothing happened between us! Well, except for three more kisses and that one time when he called me late at night in my office. The kids were with him that Friday, and I was trying to catch up on some things that had been left undone during the week. But instead, a harmless conversation about Gracie's math grade turned into incredibly hot phone sex.

Why can't I just get over this guy? Even though after almost 30 years, I know how painful it always ends.

I took a cloth from the sink and wiped the already clean countertop again. Hoping that Negan would realize he should just leave. I had no strength left to tell him to leave again. Especially because deep down, I didn't really want him to leave. Never. And unfortunately, this man knew that, as he often knows me better than I know myself.

Slowly, he approached me and grabbed my hips with his big hands, pressing my butt unabashedly against his crotch. Just the feeling of his semi-hard erection pressed so close to me unleashed a flood of butterflies in my abdomen. I briefly stopped my movement and then took a deep breath to continue as unaffected as possible and ignore him.

"Your sweet ass always makes me so damn horny, my beautiful one!" he whispered softly behind me. "You enjoy this, don't you? How much you turn me on... I can feel you slowly rubbing against me, you love how I get harder, right?"

Oh God, he was so right! No matter how much I wanted to deny it, my body spoke a completely different language. When he loosened his tight grip, I sighed softly and felt my throat go dry. Then his fingers opened the button of my jeans, and I had to press my palms on the countertop to keep my wobbly legs from giving way.

"We... we shouldn't do this..." I half-heartedly stammered.

"Sweetheart, I just want to feel how turned on you are... it would be unfair if you could feel how hard you make me, but I couldn't feel how wet your perfect pussy is for me, don't you think?" With these words, his flat hand went directly into my open pants and under my panties. Finally feeling his slightly cool, rough fingers on my sensitive, heated skin made me moan softly. I closed my eyes and focused entirely on his skillful movements. Without thinking, I spread my legs a little, and his middle finger immediately slid through my center.

"Oh, my beautiful, naughty lady is still so hot for my cock that she's almost dripping.“ he observed amusedly.

All worries and thoughts melted away as he started to gently and slowly circle my clitoris. My hand went back to him and rubbed over the large bulge in his pants.

"I want to take him in my mouth..." I said, my voice trembling with excitement.

"You want to take him in your mouth..." he repeated enthusiastically right into my ear, giving me goosebumps. Then he slowly withdrew his hand from my pants, allowing me to turn to face him.

My cheeks were burning as I looked directly at him, and my heart in my chest was beating wildly as if it were the first time.

With a grin on his face and without breaking eye contact, I knelt down in front of him slowly.

Tenderly, he brushed a strand of hair from my face. "How can one be so damn perfect?" he asked as I slowly opened his belt.

I took my time with each of my movements. Just as I was about to open his zipper, Negan suddenly surprised me by holding my wrists.

"What was that noise?" he asked, puzzled.

I paused briefly and listened to figure out what he had heard. Then I laughed.

"Oh, that's David... he's climbing the facade again."

"What the hell?" Negan looked at me completely shocked.

Annoyed that the mood was ruined because of this, I sighed, "Yes, I told Gracie that he shouldn't sleep here if she has to get up early the next day, ever since he's been secretly climbing through the window, and the two of them think I don't notice. It's kind of romantic, isn't it?"

Outraged, Negan grabbed my wrists somewhat roughly and pulled me up so that I was standing directly in front of him again.

"Romantic? Some guy breaking into your house to sleep with your daughter?" he asked angrily.

"Get a hold of yourself, they're in love and haven't seen each other in a long time..." I tried unsuccessfully to calm him down.

Shaking his head, he fastened his belt and headed towards the stairs. My attempt to hold him back by his upper arm failed miserably. So, I followed him quickly, closing my pants again and trying to fix my hair as I walked.

When I reached the stairs, I made another attempt. "Please, just leave them alone, don't embarrass our daughter like this!"

Negan had already gone up several steps and stopped for a moment to turn to me, then he shook his head resolutely and went up even faster.

"Stop!" I called a bit too loudly, but it worked, and he stopped again. "I have a proposal!" I said resolutely and then slowly climbed the stairs. My heart was racing, but I tried not to show it. Negan watched me intently as I approached him directly. Standing right in front of him, after my gaze had wandered a few times between his lustful brown-green eyes and his perfectly curved lips, I said softly but firmly, "If you leave them alone, but only then, we can go to my bedroom right now, and you can fuck me on Steve and my shared bed all damn night long! ... As hard as you want, ...for the next few hours, I belong to you...only you."

[skrunksthatwunk]

kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.

and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.

and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?

hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.

it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh

[infoglitch]

My very bad takes on rwby ships (the well known ones atleast. And yes most are jaune)

(i do not represent anyone except myself so do not judge others based on me because if you do. That's YOUR problem. Not the peoples you think I represent)

Hoi! I think its time I get crucified. Kidding obviously. This community isn't completely toxic, that much is obvious. Now let's get the obvious ones out the way

Bmblb.

Ok... time for the one I don't wanna touch because I don't have nice things to say.

Ok first. I don't mind this ship. Wanna get that out of the way because unlike most would assume. I don't hate or love this ship.

BUT. I got problems with how it was made fucking cannon. First off, fuck you rt and your "from the beeginning". I don't fuckin care how much you try to cover your incompetent asses. If the pants don't fuckin fit. Don't fuckin wear them!

Second. There was no real build up (you can argue there was. But it wasn't good. Anyone could have done a better job than rt). The only real thing that could "prove" this was planned was that yang "flirted" with Blake. Now you might be saying-

"oh but she explained her trauma to Blake that clearly means shes interested in her" in which. NO. Yes this moment is VERY good basis to build off these twos dynamic. And if rt kept building onto this by having yang slowly break down Blake's wall before eventually getting her to open up, I would be applauding rt for it, hell I would be a fan of it probably because for these two, it fuckin works! Blake clearly is alot more reserved and is rather prickly meanwhile yang is the rambunctious, ass-whooping, badass, and overall awesome ball of joy (sounds weird saying especially since yang is my favorite character). yet rt dropped the fuckin ball the moment sun showed up. Now I love sun and i enjoy black sun. But for the love of GOD if this shit is from the beginning than this clearly proves it was fucking not!

After volume three who did blake spend most of the time with in menagerie and rt was clearly trying to push? Not bmblb! BLACK-FUCKING-SUN. Let's give a round of applause to RT for making the dumbest decision of saying bmblb was planned from the start because bitch it was not.

And what did we get for yang. Oh only her trauma from one losing an arm and the fact she has PTSD from it. Oh yeah let's not forget the fact yang had ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Yet the moment her and Blake meet back up suddenly it doesn't fuckin matter because Weiss managed to somehow fix it by telling yang that Blake had suffered as well (i know that's not exactly what happened but point is I fuckin HATE the scene where Blake rejoins the team and yang is just "OK! I totally still don't have problems with the fact you left me and the team at both my and our teams lowest moment." Personally fuck you rt)

.....where was I again? Oh yeah rwby ships. So before I fuckin lose it at rt's incompetence at story telling, developing a romance and character building- let's move on to..... whiterose.... SON OF A BIT-

Whiterose

Look does the fact I don't care for BB and the fact I hate white rose with such a burning passion make me look like a misogynistic homophobic asshole a bad thing? Yes. But I just can't enjoy this damn ship because I just find it so FUCKING BORING!

I get it, it's "opposites attract". But I just don't care because this is so boring and basic that I can't even be glad a gay ship is actually popular instead of the same boring straight pairings.

I don't care if ruby could help Weiss be less of a bitch. Because that troop has been done to fucking DEATH.

There's not even the fact that it be a middle finger to Weisses dad because guess what he's already got his comupance and is also you know, FUCKIN DEAD. There's no satisfaction from any of this ship for me. Is it a bad ship? Fuck no we aren't even going to cover THAT!

But do I like this ship and hope it'll be cannon? No. And if it is? I won't care and I'm not even gonna celebrate it. You can take a fat piss on my grave before I say whiterose becoming cannon is the only option.

Now what ship is next- oh. Oh no. It's the ship everyone enjoys.

Arkos

Look I'm already gonna get fuckin crucified for my opinion of WR and BB. I don't feel like pissing off even MORE people!

... ok fine I'm saying my opinion.

I don't care for this ship. I don't care for pyrrha and I'm actively glad she is dead.

I won't even elaborate because this ship is dead and will gladly piss on its grave.

Rest in piss arkos. Overrated as fuck!

Next up is... rose garden. Finally a ship I dont mind supporting... but also... one thats gonna be hard to say

Rose garden

Look... their just fuckin cinnamon rolls and I love it!

"but you hated arkos yet both jaune and pyrrha were cinna-"

Uhp! No! None of your bullshit. But I will explain.

I don't care for arkos because I don't care for the fact pyrrha has no development. Not even a personality. She was always "the one girl that has feelings for jaune" which don't get me wrong, jaunes one of my favorite characters but I prefer the character he would be shipped with are actually characters and not... cardboard.

Now thankfully Oscar does not suffer the same fate. He's not infatuated with ruby, he is just a "kid" who just found a wizard stuck in his head and now he's off into a war he never knew about. He was timid (batshit terrified even) and yet when he sees the courage shown by the cast he slowly tries to be like them. with the moment between ruby and Oscar being a moment I fuckin love. Oscar is being honest and asking ruby why, why does she keep fighting? Keep marching into a unknown war that could very well kill her. And ruby simply answers by admitting she Is aware she might die, she even lost good people during the fall of beacon but she kept going because she wanted to be a huntress, she wanted to HELP people.

One of the many reasons I love rose garden is because these two fuckin dorks grow WITH each other instead of the simple "oh I'm the love interest of the main character I'm gonna be a cardboard cutout of the character I should be!".

I can't put it into proper words but I just love rose garden.

Whiteknight

Wait... are we actually talking about white knight and not another ship that I probably don't care about and get crucified because of them?

FUCK YEAH!

Gentlemen and ladies. I am proud to say I am whiteknight trash because damnit I love this ship.

I will say it now this ship is the shit that gives my Tumblr account LIFE. And like rose garden I can't even find words to describe how this ship makes me my brain go up with dopamine. This ship is just my favorite ship. Weiss and jaune have had so much buildup. Starting with jaune being a idiot and trying to flirt with a very much more cold Weiss (HA) To Weiss laughing at jaunes reaction to his voice after the high of depression that was V9! The little smile jaune had as he heard Weiss giggle. To the mother fuckin mature scene that has skyrocketed to memehood! I just love this ship because it is just everything I want out of a romance subplot!

Knightshade

Oh... oh we already at some.... unpopular ships.

Now this isn't exactly ship related as pyrrha was to arkos but I just don't like Blake, so you might be thinking "oh then you must hate knightshade". Well..

You.

Are.

WRONG!

I don't know why I like it I just like knightshade. It's cute, it's got enough crack to make it a crack ship, and the memes! The. Fuckin. MEMES.

God I love knightshade.

Knightfall

So... how do I say this?

I love this ship. Not joking I love this. I'd be peeved if this became cannon but as syndrome once said

"OH COME ON! YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL!" (Man was a salty man and died like a BITCH)

As to why?

The

Fuckin

ANGST!

I could write an entire fanfic of jaune and cinder fighting each other for days on end until jaune fucking loses but instead of killing him cinder just lets him live. To continue to fight as she gets some sick enjoyment from the attention.

That's all. (Also cinder please choke me with your thighs-)

[GLITCH HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.]

Alright I'll behave. No thirsting, now onto.... Lancaster.... you know I can't tell if I want to be killed or be celebrated as a fuckin gift because this list is bizarre as fu-

Lancaster

.... where do I begin?

Ok I should probably state this now. I love this fuckin ship despite how... cliche it really is. I want these two dorks to be fuckin happy but I just can't say whole hearted this is my otp. It's just not for me, I'm sorry. But as you all know I have written.. some.. Lancaster fanfics (I am absolute jaune shipper trash, you can Bury me before I say any jaune ship is terrible except THAT! Even arkos ain't bad just overrated!)

But... yes I like this ship that why I'm writing fanfics in the first place I like alot of jaune ships (despite how much I hate THAT!) Because we'll most female characters that I pair with jaune have atleast some form of interaction. (Except silent knight. I just like that one because I like the "small murderous and tall gentle" dynamic. But we aren't covering silent knight.)

Now thats all I could say for Lancaster but there's one more sister that I wanna talk about but first.

For runner up on this list. Drum roll please.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Thank you-

.....

Huh I guess that drummer wasn't as dumb-

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Ok fuck you, your fired!

Now for runner up on this list (mainly because I like it but I don't have much to say-)

Martial arcs

(ha bet y'all rat bastards weren't expecting me to list a gay ship that I liked.)

Now all I have to say is.

🎶let them be fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!~

OH YEAH!🎶

Now onto... my favorite one thats not white knight. The one, the only, the truest form of "what the fuck is glitch snorting"-

Dragon slayer

This is the one ship that has continued to be a ship I love dearly.

To me yang and jaune feel like they would be each other's wing(wo)man and would just be an ride to watch.

There wasn't even any evidence in why this ship could happen. But I still love it. Y'all can call it "just a write inserting themselves as jaune" but let me say this.

Dragon slayer is the Pinnacle of the most wholesome moments! Not even Lancaster can compare to the intimacy of this ship and yes! I AM TALKING OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STUPID SHIP AND AINT NO ONE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

....

Ok I think that's enough talking about Rwby ships for one Day because I've caused three things.

1) probably pissed off arkos, BB, and WR shipers.

2) weirded out quite literally everyone with my batshit insanity.

3) probably started a debate on what I mean when I say "THAT!"

Anyway have a great day/night/or what other time it is bitches, bros, and non-binary rat bastards

I'm off to get crucified because OH BOY did I probably poke the bear.

[scientia-rex]

Reasons my life is better this year than last year:

-Umbrella reason: new job

-Work next to doc who consistently laughs at my jokes

-My boss doesn't get passive-aggressive and also doesn't mind profanity

-My boss, despite being straight, fully supports me providing gender care and likes to send me CME opportunities for conferences I can't go to because I can't take time off without a lot of notice but it's still a nice thought that he saw "LGBTQIA+ healthcare" and went "oh I know a doc who does that! she should go!"

-On my other side is an MA I get along with fabulously bc despite having different native languages we both appreciate the importance of snacks, naps, caffeine, and being a little bit snarky

-She always brings me a donut if somebody leaves a box in the break room and she knows I might not see them until they're gone

-My MA sits behind me and is possibly my long-lost twin? Except that she's a foot taller than me, GOD, I wish I was tall, but we're on the same wavelength at all times and we have very similar interests and senses of humor and I love it and I hope she works here until we both retire

-The other people who sit in our room with us vary between a delightful nerd who I only haven't befriended harder bc she has kids and is always making a point of going home to them on time, an older doc who works per diem for us now and taught me how to do greater occipital nerve blocks on a whim and is actually a decent person despite being an old white privileged man, and our dermatology provider who once told a patient I was, and I quote, "cool as fuck," which is funny because I think SHE'S cool as fuck

-Our nurses are the best. Just the literal best. They go all out, on a daily basis, to not only make sure I do the minimal amount of bullshit busy work, but also to make sure patients are getting high-quality care and that they have positive interactions with our clinic, and they never kick a request back to me with "we can't do that," they will always at least ask around to see if someone else knows. I love them. I love them so much I literally sometimes cry about it.

-Our chief referral coordinator is so much fucking fun AND so good at her job. I ask her for things and they just... happen??? She's relentlessly competent and also loves animals and also when I mentioned I need more plants gave me seeds from her double-ruffled hot pink poppies, which I WILL be planting next year.

-Seriously, I love everybody at my new work. It's been 10 months and I feel like a rescue animal, finally starting to creep out of my shell and have a personality, after working at my prior clinic for 4 years (2 in residency) of absolute chronically understaffed passive aggressive toxic workplace hell. Like, I love the providers at my former clinic, I love the support staff, I loved my patients and I loved what I got to do, but there simply weren't enough people and everyone was always being told to do more and more and more with no additional time or resources or compensation, and that was a big part of why I quit--I could see, very transparently, that the administrators didn't give a hot shit about how hard I was working and how I was busting my ass, any time they saw a chance to shaft me out of any benefit, no matter how small, that might save them money.

Life is better this year. I think it's going to be even better next year. I had no idea working in medicine could be this much better. Working in medicine is going to be draining, no matter what you do--but a good, solid, competent administration makes the difference between draining and soul-crushing.

[melliotwrites]

Hi! I’m writing my own music, and Adamandi is an inspiration. I’m just wondering, has there been any inspiration when it came to you two writing musicals? (Adamandi, The Art of Pleasing Princes, Ghost Story, and any other future musicals.) Such as, any movies, TV shows or any other musicals? I find the aesthetics and music in these musicals all so different and I love that! And the themes in these musicals are so interesting! (/vpos!)

Great question! It's hard to separate genuine inspiration from research, since once we get an idea we usually try to consume everything that's related to what we want to write to figure out what we wanna add to the cultural conversation. Sometimes we also get inspiration from a work because we don't like it and want to position our piece in opposition to that one. But for this post we'll try to keep it to Genuine Inspiration that we consumed before we wrote each piece (hey, this thing is cool, this helped me figure out how I wanna write my thing for the better.)

Maybe we'll break this up by show:

TAOPP

Fun light fantasy with heart that plays with the tropes of fantasy settings, a la classic DND settings, Six of Crows, Terry Pratchett

Mel took a class on the High Middle Ages and read On The Origins of Courtliness (from which the title is derived!) and The Ballad of Tristan and Isolde, which got sort of melangéd into the Princes court world- living and dying by the king's pleasure, etc.

Aesthetically, the TV show The Great? Mel watched it a little bit before writing Princes and the anachronistic dialogue + rules of court drama have something to do with it.

Not much musical inspo for this tbh, I think it was just our first go at Writing A Show Together so a lot of our influences were just other musical soundtracks we thought might be the vibe we were aiming for. (Probably Pippin, 35mm, Great Comet, etc..)

Similarly with lyrics, I wasn't really thinking of a lyrical style, but I think I based a lot of my song forms on Something Rotten as the other show I knew set in the same era (using the very loose definition of "the same era"). ~Mel

ADAMANDI GENERAL INSPO:

the usual dark academia medias (Maurice and Another Country were our favorites) and also attending undergrad at a dark academia ass college

Lots of folk horror! (The Wicker Man (1973) - was particularly fun for me in thinking about the Catholicism storyline -Mel)

Jordan Peele movies like Get Out and Us

For musicals, Passion was really inspirational in both tone and subject matter.

Lyrically, I tried to think about Falsettos and Sunday- very lyrically dense shows that portray the intricate vocabularies of a specific, often highly intellectual subculture. What shibboleths do academics use to identify who does and doesn't belong? And why is the word "shibboleth" so not singable :( I think really liking Matilda as a kid also had something to do with it. ~Mel

I looked at a lot of horror musicals for a research paper but didn't like them much. (Except Little Shop. I love Little Shop and kinned the dentist in high school.) So I guess that's inspiration but in a what-Not-to-do way? Which is how I stumble on a lot of "inspiration" - Elliot

ADAMANDI MUSICAL INSPO:

chamber pop, baroque pop (incorporating the orchestral/acoustic elements of "dark academia" movie soundtracks with alternative pop and rock that's associated with the dark academia aesthetic more thematically)

The Dresden Dolls/Amanda Palmer's music

swing, jazz, dark cabaret (for the 1930s vibe)

Murder ballads (e.g. American Murder Song)

also weirdly the soundtrack to the Yellowjackets TV show. I love the eerie vocals in them and the creepy use of body percussion/breath - Elliot

here's an early inspo playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2wjhDj3ZzR01ghNfB03sYC?si=6f38f4c5f2ee43c7)

GHOST STORY

(more of a reading list since we're thinking top-down for this one!)

M. Butterfly by David Henry Hwang. I will never write anything as bangin' as "Being an Oriental, I could never be completely a man." - Elliot

Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection by Julia Kristeva

Stranger Intimacy by Nayan Shah

A View From the Bottom by Tan Hoang Nguyen

Ishtyle: Accenting Gay Indian Nightlife by Kareem Khubchandani

For musicals, Assassins and Parade

Arcadia and Follies are my touchstones for how the past and present can intersect onstage, and what got me excited about doing it ourselves! ~Mel

GHOST STORY MUSICAL INSPO

ragtime, jazz, Americana, blues, folk, country ! For inspo, trying to look for American folk music as close to 1880 as possible, but it's hard to find. Allowing myself to listen to stuff up til 1920.

Also alternative pop/rock/indie/whatever per usual. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0QwtUiwwZfc3TYMy0DarOq?si=cc9d5129d43b4aeb is my working inspiration playlist right now - Elliot

[simplyholl]

Across the Multiverse Pt. 4 [Loki x F Reader]

Summary: Y/N and Loki’s relationship takes an unexpected turn after one of Stark’s parties. When they are sent on a mission to find their multiversal selves, will they realize they should be together?

Pairing: Avenger Loki x F Avenger Reader

*The car scene is a little nod to @lokisgoodgirl‘s Clandestine F*cks Collection. I wrote that scene just for you as a little thank you for everything. ILY bunches and I wouldn’t be doing any of this if it wasn’t for you. 

The caption for the picture is lyrics from “Call It What You Want” by Taylor Swift

Warnings: Smut. Minors DNI. 18+ ONLY. Incorrect use of multiverse travel.

W/C: 2.7K

Loki has been mad at me since we got back. It didn’t help matters that when we found Universe 322’s me, Bucky answered her door. She came out behind him barely dressed with just fucked hair. But that wasn’t me, Loki has taken it to heart though. He makes a snide comment every time Bucky is in the same room as me.

I’m downstairs waiting for my ride to mine and Natasha’s interview. “Hey kid, change of plans. Natasha had to go on a mission with Clint. So, you’ll be doing your interview with Reindeer Games.” My heart falls into my ass as Loki walks over to us dressed in a skintight Henley shirt. The fabric clings to his frame leaving nothing to the imagination. I’m so mad at myself for still being attracted to him despite him acting like an asshole for a month.

“Wait Tony, isn’t there someone else who could come with me?’ “No Y/N, everyone else is busy. Well except for me, and I’m not going. What’s the problem anyway? I thought you two were best friends forever. Uh oh, a lover’s quarrel perhaps?” “NO!” Loki and I answer a little too quickly. Tony smiles knowingly at us. “Just play nice for the cameras. Give them what they want. You know, really play to the crowd.”

I’m nervous to be on this talk show. Robin, the host always asks the most scandalous questions. Her show is known for getting gossip out of celebrities and superheroes alike. Last time the Avengers were on her show, she got Bruce to admit he was dating Natasha. I’m surprised Nick Fury let Loki be on today, God of Mischief and all that.

Robin sits across from the white sofa Loki and I are on. Old pictures from my Instagram are blown up on the screen behind us. The pictures are of me and Loki with silly filters on our faces, playing in the snow, and my favorite. We had a little too much to drink in his room and we decided to document the evening. I’m sitting in his lap, his long arms wrapped around me holding me tightly against his torso. He has his lips pressed against my cheek in a playful kiss. And I am smiling like a lovesick fool. I even captioned it “Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night” with a green heart emoji. In my defense, we were listening to Taylor Swift’s Reputation album that night. At least, that’s the excuse I used when the girls bombarded me with accusations after I posted it.

Robin gestures to the pictures. “You two are the cutest couple! Y/N, how long have you been banging the most mysterious Avenger?” I can’t help my blushing cheeks. The nerve of this woman. “We are not a couple and we have never been intimate.” I lie, crossing my fingers behind my back. Robin doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. “Look at him, Y/N. There must have been at least one late night where there was a lingering glance that quickly turned into more.” The audience is on the edge of their seats waiting for my answer. I look to Loki for help. He just smiles at me, and I could swear he is trying not to laugh. Asshole. “I won’t deny that Loki is attractive.”

The whistles and cheers from the crowd confirm my statement. Loki stands up gesturing to his face and body. The cheers grow louder. He finally takes his seat. “But there is nothing between us except for friendship. No lingering glances, no hookups, nothing.” “Boo! You’re no fun! You know your fans ship you two together, right? Here’s a thread about you two we found.”

She displays it on the screen. There are photos I didn’t know existed of us walking, eating, holding hands. The comment section is filled with statements like “Everyone knows they are dating. Why hide it?” “The chemistry between them is smoldering. I was at the table beside them, and I thought I would catch on fire from it.” “Have you seen how he looks at her?”

Robin reads each one making me more uncomfortable by the second. This is all too much. Loki notices and places his hand on mine. I feel better instantly. Robin finally makes it to the end of the thread. “Well, if you’re telling the truth, and you’re not an item, let us at least see your first kiss. We would love that, wouldn’t we?” The audience chants “Kiss her” as I look at Loki trying to figure a way out of this. Surely, he will come up with something. He hasn’t wanted to be near me, let alone kiss me.

He whispers in my ear, “We might as well, darling. What was it Stark said, give them what they want?” Loki grabs my face as he leans down to reach my lips. Soft kisses turn into hungry ones as he slides his tongue in my mouth. The audience is whistling and shouting, but I’m not paying attention. It’s all I can do to keep from drowning in the passionate way his lips glide with mine. My hands are in his hair, and I’m pretty sure I moaned too loudly. Loki breaks the kiss gently placing his thumb against my bottom lip as his eyes search mine. He places his lips against me again and again. Each time I think he is done; his soft lips are on me once more. It’s like he can’t help himself. When he finally stops, I am breathless.

As soon as we get in the car, both our phones start blowing up. Loki answers his. Tony’s voice comes over the speaker frantically shouting. “What the hell were you thinking?” Loki answers calmly, “You told us to play nice for the cameras, Stark. I was merely following instruction.” “I meant don’t fight with each other on live TV, not shove your tongue down her throat in front of the world!” Loki laughs as he hangs up on him mid- rant. He asks me if I’m going to the party tonight and I tell him probably not. “It’s probably for the best. After that kiss, the ladies will be falling at my feet tonight.” I look out the window the whole way home, holding back tears.

Tonight is Tony’s infamous lingerie party. The guys have been looking forward to it for months. The girls and I went shopping for our outfits weeks ago. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t buy mine with Loki in mind. I think I’m going to stay in tonight. Seeing Loki with models in their underwear is too much for my heart to handle.

Wanda and Natasha show up at my room with drinks. They can’t stop gushing about the kiss. Tears start streaming down my face uncontrollably. I wasn’t going to tell anyone about me and Loki, but now I don’t have a choice. They are just as confused as I am, especially after that kiss. It seemed too real.

“You have to go to the party now, Y/N.” Wanda encourages me. “Yeah, you have to show him what he’s missing.” Natasha decides we have to get ready together. Wanda is doing my makeup. Natasha styles my hair. When they have finished my makeover, I am completely impressed. I have never been hotter.

My hair hangs down in soft waves. My smoky eyes are accentuated by little jewels along the wings of my eyeliner. My false eyelashes are a little heavy. They will take a while to get used to. My lacy, black lingerie clings to my body in all the right places. The wire in the cups of my bra push my breasts up to make them look bigger and more perky. The cheeky panties are almost see through.  They are tied on the side with little black bows. Natasha helps fasten my garters to my stockings. Wanda finds my sexiest heels in the back of my closet. I’m definitely dressed for revenge.  

When we arrive at the party, it’s not hard to spot Loki. He is sitting on the sofa, all the hottest girls gathered around him. There are two on his lap for heaven’s sake. I look at the girls for encouragement. We walk over to the sofa across from him. He unapologetically checks me out. He only takes his eyes off me when one of the women in his lap clears her throat. All of them are glaring at me, mad because I stole his attention, if only for a moment. “I didn’t think you would be in attendance tonight, pet.” Loki says coldly.

I smile at him sweetly, moving my hair to reveal the spot on my neck he loved to mark. His eyes darken. “Well, I thought I’d come to check out all the available men. Tony invites the most alluring bachelors to this party every year. As you know, I am so single right now. Actually, I thought I’d take a page out of your book and bring back someone to warm my bed. Maybe a doctor. “You and I both know someone like that could never please you. You like playing with danger, pet.”

��How could you possibly know what would please me, Loki?” I can tell I’ve struck a nerve. He grips the arm of the sofa tightly making the thick veins on his hands stick out. Loki stands up forgetting the girls in his lap. They are thrown to the floor with a thud. I try my best not to laugh, but a little giggle escapes me. He doesn’t even acknowledge them, just takes a long stride to step over them. He grabs my hand jerking me off the couch. A cloud of green smoke surrounds us.

Suddenly, we are in the library. He circles behind me like a lion stalking his prey. I gasp when his hand tangles in my hair while the other shoves me face first against a table. The cold surface makes me shiver. His fingers pull my panties to the side. Quick fingers swipe my entrance finding me soaked. He plunges into me with a hard thrust. I grasp the side of the table. My right cheek finally getting used to the cold surface. I’m overwhelmed from how deep he is and how full I feel in this position. His strong legs nudge mine spreading me wider. Long fingers grip my hip roughly as he drives into me. He places his other hand to my lips. “Suck.” He commands slipping two slender digits in my mouth. I run my tongue over them tasting myself. I suck on the tips while I take everything, he gives me. “Who knows exactly how to please you?” “You… Loki” I pant. “I can’t hear you, pet. Who is it that makes you feel this way? Who makes this pretty pussy so full?” “You, Loki. Only you.” He thrusts harder, chants of his name fill the room as we both unravel.

This is our week off from the mission while some of the others go. Since the night in the library, Loki and I have barely left his room. I’m disappointed because we have to go to dinner with Scott and Thor. Not because I don’t want to go, but it means I won’t be alone with Loki. In the car, Loki and I sit in the back while Thor drives. I have a feeling he is up to something when he sits in the middle beside me instead of on the other side.

Loki tells me to put my seat belt on when the car starts moving. I’m still pouting about having to leave the comfort of his bed, so I refuse. He leans over me bringing the seat belt across my chest. His fingers graze my breasts through the thin fabric of my dress. His green eyes fixed on me as the click rings throughout the car. His hand grips my thigh. His fingers hold so tightly it could bruise. “Can you be quiet for me?” he whispers in my ear. His warm breath sends chills down my body.

I whisper yes, confusion written on my face. His intentions are clear when his hand travels up my thigh. “No panties?” he questions. I give him a mischievous smile. He places one expert finger on my clit circling. I bite my lip trying not to make a sound. The moan I tried and failed to hold back came out like a squeak. Thor’s attention is on us now. “What is the matter, Y/N?” he asks concern lacing his voice. Scott is curious now too. He turns around. “Brother, keep your eyes on the road. I have fought many battles and survived. I will not die by your hand. Y/N is fine. She was merely remembering a rather sad moment from one of her books. She seeks comfort from me. Allow her some privacy.” Loki places his free hand on my head guiding me to his shoulder. Thor and Scott must believe him, because they face forward.

Loki leans down whispering “Hush now, darling. I thought you could be silent. Do you wish for me to stop?” I shake my head no, grabbing his wrist desperately trying to hold his hand in place. He slips two slender fingers inside. His rough palm rubs against my clit. I buck my hips against him quietly whining against his neck. He pumps his fingers in and out. “So tight. I cannot wait to be inside you tonight, Y/N.” His thumb works against me as he hooks his fingers inside hitting my g-spot. I bite down on his shoulder my grip on his wrist tightens as I come undone. My eyes are watering. That was so intense. It was almost too much without making a sound. Loki’s thumb quickly brushes the stray tears away.

He places a soft kiss to my cheek. “that’s my good girl.” He purrs. He gently removes his fingers from me. He brings his hand to his mouth. Placing the two that were just inside me to his tongue. He sucks them clean; a small moan escapes his lips. Scott turns around giving Loki a questioning look. He notices the fingers Loki quickly removes from his lips. “Hey! I didn’t know you had snacks. No fair! The wait for the restaurant was over an hour when I called. I will starve to death by then!” “I never share what is mine, Lang. Especially when it is the most delicious of treats.” He smirks glancing at me, amusement dancing in his eyes. I just smile at Scott and try not to melt into my seat.

The team decided to let loose and have a few drinks together tonight. That quickly turned into mostly everyone being outrageously drunk. Thor passes his flask of Asgardian liquor to the Super Soldiers. Loki is sitting with Tony and Sam. I hear an outburst of laughter from that area, so I walk over. “Where is my girl?” Loki slurs.

“Who is your girl, Laufeyson? We didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” Sam laughs. Loki ignores him looking around the room. “Where the hell is my sweet girl?! She better not be anywhere near Barnes!” Loki shouts. Bucky throws his hands up defensively, a smile spreading across his face. I go over to Loki to make sure he is okay. “Ah, there she is.” He pulls me into his lap. His arms hold me tightly to him. He places small kisses to my hair. “Um, Loki we should get you back to your room. You need to go to sleep, or you’ll feel awful tomorrow.”

“Excellent idea, my love. I can’t wait to have you in my bed again.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at me. I place one of his arms over my shoulder helping him to the elevators. When we get to his room, I walk him over to his bed. I pull off one large boot, then the next. He helps me by pulling his shirt off while I work on removing his pants. He grabs my hand placing it over his heart. “Y/N, I lo- “ he stops for a moment searching my face. “I’ll, I’ll see you in the morning.”  He rolls over, the sounds of his snoring fill the room while I slide under the blankets beside him.

Part Five

Tags

@lokisgoodgirl @fictive-sl0th @muddyorbsblr @jaidenhawke @ozymdias 

@lokissidepeice @huntress-artemiss @those-late-night-feels @marygoddessofmischief  @trojanaurora @acciotherapists @snafu-hmfi 

@eleniblue @lokidbadguy

[grimbeak]

Ok.

Reaction to tonights episode under cut.

First off: Holy fuck. Holy dick n balls. What the hell do I do now? What am I supposed to be doing now? Going to sleep? What the fuck. Holy crap. What.

Moving on.

"Call me Mother Lauren."

The Boy. His reluctance to talk about his mother. Lauren.

"I remember as a child, when Frown Night ended, I’d take my bag of loot, and sit on the highest level of the lighthouse.

LAUREN: Oh, the one at the top of the mountain?"

The lighthouse on the mountain??? The mountain that is only in the desert otherworld???? Either this is finknor forgetting again (I doubt it since its an easy thing to at least look up on the wiki), his ass is lying, or...... that motherfucker grew up/lived in the desert otherworld as a kid.

"Mr. Schlecht, Mrs. Schlecht, Sister Schlecht, Brother Schlecht, and even their dog, who was a basset hound named Malo."

This one parodies the story he did the last time he did a holiday episode with Lauren, except its changed slightly. There is no second mother, there is no stick boy, it is a dog instead of a fucked up cat.

The names have changed. I believe in the last story, the citizens could not see their smiles despite the family smiling. This time, they know they are not smiling.

I still think this is Kevin's family, perhaps a different one of his however. Or maybe he's starting to remember it more accurately.

"And I want to add that The Smiling God loves all of Its children, no matter what…. Unless you’re shunned. If your community doesn’t want you, The Smiling God doesn’t either."

Kevin is shunned by the community. Later, Lauren says this:

"KEVIN: Not even a hint as to how the Smiling God sees me?

LAUREN: I’m only allowed tell people happy news. And if I told you what the Smiling God really thinks of you, you’d become sad, and the Smiling God does not like it when you’re sad. So…. no."

The smiling god does not love kevin.

"You know, when I think someone is feeling sad, I won’t talk to them again for months, maybe years. It’s important to give people space."

The last time Lauren saw kevin, supposedly, was at the mudstone abyss. She then did not speak to him for years.

"Isn’t that what you’d do, Kevin?"

Referencing herself, Carlos, or possibly Charles here. If we return to the theory that The Boy is Donovan, and he has been missing for several years in DOW time.... Charles and Kevin could've had a fight/temp broken up, hence why we don't hear about them.

"It’s important that we face our greatest fear, and that is sadness.

LAUREN: And it’s important that we face our pasts, too. The story of the Schlechts is not always a happy one, but we must make amends for the wrongs of history.

KEVIN: [dubious] Of course.

LAUREN: Because to ignore our past is to destroy our future. I hope you don’t have anything in your past that you’ve not atoned for, Kevin."

This.

"KEVIN: [knows she means him] No. I’m good."

Him? Who's him? Kevin? Charles? Carlos? Donovan? Cecil? Something happened since we saw Kevin last.

Also: The weather. The line about sitting and seeing the town you built together? Kevin and Carlos after having built Dow. The whole song, very Kevin and Carlos vibes.

Kevin's general uncomfortableness around Lauren. Compared to how we've heard him act before, Kevin in general seemed nervous, very much unlike his past self. He seems to be moving towards the third era of triptych.

Will analyze this all more probably wednesday/thursday, my phone is dying and i have halloween shit to do tomorrow.

THE BOY IS BACK!!!!!!!

[proteovaldez]

Do you ever just feel guilty for existing? Like not in the I’m oppressed and they make me feel hated, but in the I’m oppressed but I don’t do anything.

I was so active about activism and politics when I was younger. Like sure I’m not that old now, but I did so much protesting and understood it as a kid. At a point I just stopped cause I was tired. I was tired living everyday as success story.

I was raised that I had to be the exception and make sure I was the few who were given those advantages so I can help others down the line with the power I’d have. Every day I was genuinely set up for success. Like I was part of youth groups, I was up to date on current affairs and working hard on being the smartest in the room. That way no matter what was said about me they couldn’t say I was unintelligent or uneducated.

Just one day though I just stopped wanting to be the one who had to fix things and be the big mover. It’s frustrating cause I genuinely have those skills and I know I can as I used to when I was way younger due to the support I had from my parents. I decided I just wanted to live, like just be myself and not aim for some greater thing. I wanted to have a life in a secluded place and be a nice retreat for youth who needed a place to rest. Just to rest and know there’s a meal on the table.

I just feel guilty for choosing myself and keeping my head down. I intentionally keep my head down because I want to be able to have a future to do small good. Yes, I know it’s counter productive cause if I keep my head down I’m just helping the system by not making a huge deal and doing all I can to fix it now.

Just there are still gay people who are listed as sex offenders for the bigoted laws we had in America. There are numerous dead gay bodies whose names will forever be associated with being sex offenders. There are people even now who have a criminal record purely because they were protesting or wrong place at the wrong time. Some people who never get their criminal record fully checked for what their crimes were that are denied things cause of their record. The fact that there are convicts who can’t even fucking live outside of jail cause of their past even for minor offenses is beyond scary.

So yeah, I feel guilty for choosing to abide by the system, so that I won’t be targeted more than I am. Yes, I know that will make me a bystander to many things, but at least I’m a bystander that’s still fucking alive and allowed to have a small amount of success in the future. It’s a small thing, but sometimes you grow tired and burned out.

Like I grew up genuinely knowing about what was happening in Afghanistan and the crimes that were committed. I was in elementary and I was already aware of the evils of humanity and that there were men walking free for the fucking horrid acts they did to prisoners. I knew about people deliberately lying about credentials to get shipped overseas to make money and were the reason for so much death. I’ve known about this shit since I was six. Having that much understanding about the world and being told that I’d be the one to maybe fix it one day. Like my parents genuinely believed that I would be a person with high authority and a strong enough presence to fix things. I knew about the multiple genocides happening in Iraq when it was happening and knew the real reasons why we were on the right side politically. Sure some of the government officials probably genuinely wanted to stop it and help, but a good portion of the reason was so we’d have access to their oil. Yeah, fucking oil. Also to cover our asses from 9/11 and stupid religious ideals. It doesn’t matter what your religion is, but if you use it to support the destruction, oppression and death of another group of people then you’re in the wrong. Before you argue, yes I think we should hypothetically kill all nazis and those who support them even now. But I’m aware that makes me evil and incorrect morally. It is that black and white. I am in the wrong for wanting that, because I want a group of people condemned.

Ugh I got off track and started rambling. Just, you know? The world can be that black and white and most of us, actually all of us are in the black for our contribution to the systems that uphold these things or because we do nothing to stop them. But, that’s not the point to have moral superiority, the point should be cause you have fucking empathy and compassion for people suffering.

So, yeah I’m just here moping about my place in the world cause I’m tired and want a small future with little wins and do small good. And I don’t want to dedicate my life to big good anymore cause I’m fucking exhausted. So feel free to make fun of me or whatever, but for those that are also tired and feel so guilty for it. I get it, I understand that it’s hard to keep wanting to do big good after dealing with so many ginormous problems and horrible things in the world. I understand that you’re tired and just want to keep your fucking head down so you can live another day, to just survive. I’m here telling you that you’re not alone in that unbearable guilt that weighs on you for not participating like you should. I don’t know how to fix that or what to motivate you to do more. Just know that I’m happy you’ve chosen to at least still survive. It’s hard to just do that.

I do admire those that commit their everyday to raise awareness and move on from one purpose to another. I admire those that are even just helping cause they want moral superiority or to be popular. Cause they are still doing more than I am. I don’t care what your reason is to do what’s right, I’m just impressed you continue to do it even if it’s because you’re joining a bandwagon late. You’re there at least. I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore. Guess we can just write this off as a weird diary entry?

[discocandles]

Lolirock characters ranked on how likely they would be to rock someone's shit in a fist fight:

Note: this is for characters who speak in at least two episodes. Mostly. There may be a few exceptions.

At the bottom of the list: missy

Tbh missy looks like she'd smack a bitch, but I think she's more bark than bite. The second it's getting physical is the second she's backing out. She's probs the one getting her shit rocked

Next up: Doug

With a name like Doug, you know his fedora-wearing ass doesn't stand a single iota of a chance. And if you get the cell phone, he's down for the fucking count. This is also a good place to put any other love in-show love interest auriana's had... there is one exception

The exception: Matt

Now I know what you're thinking. The dinosaur guy? Why's he soch a big exception? Well it's bc of the falling t-Rex scene. The guy noticed the skull falling and was able to make his way under it, catch it and hold it up until iris got there. Do I think he'd still get whooped in a fistfight? Yes I do, but he's put up more of a fight than the likes of Doug or Timothy(who got bested by a fucking table)

Now, Our magical teddy bear: amaru

While I highly doubt amaru would get into a street fight, I don't think he'd do the best. He's smol, he's squishy, and quite cute. And while these are all amazing facts about him, they are no help in a fight. But I think his cuteness would keep him from being hurt.

She should probs be higher but I'm spending forever on this already: Lyna

Lyna would try to avoid a fight at all costs. don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she couldn't rock your shit. I'm saying she probably wouldn't. This is basically a character trait of hers, as she's a lot better with spells. If she actually joined the fight, she'd probably just fight to a stand still.

Please hear me out: gramorr

yes I am getting a lot of joy from this. We never see him use anything other than magic and intimidation to get his way. without his magic, he only has intimidation. So I think he can barely throw a punch. Like once the person isn't intimidated by him they could probably rock this man's shit, but his presence makes most folks just go "nah, fuck this."

Next: Jenny

Is this mostly to spite gramorr? I'll never say. Listen, Jenny would use a lot of foot work to confuse her opponent, and get them to fall, then beat them up. I think this isn't her first rodeo with this crap.

Ok, this is where I'm putting Deinos and Kakos:

if I could separate them, they'd be a lot lower, but they finish each other's sentences, so they're basically one person. They mostly have the advantage of being two people, but put them in a 2v2 and those kids are getting slammed.

After this: Nathaniel

I feel like this fight is under very particular conditions. Someone's being disrespectful and loud in the smoothie shop. He tries to escort kick them out, and they punch him. Nathaniel is able to get them out the door before punching back. And wins the fight, but gets injured in the process.

We're pretty much in the you never stood a chance levels: Auriana

I know I know, it's probably lower than it should be. But I have a good reason for this. It's bc I can't see auriana getting into a fistfight. She's a very charming person, and that gets her out of a lot of these situations. She absolutely kicks ass, but I think it's almost impossible for her to end up in a street fight.

I think I know what I'm doing here: Mephisto

This is probably just a game to him tbh. Like it doesn't matter that he's not using magic. In fact, it probably helps him some since most of the magic fights are using large spells to summon monsters. Also he's talking trash the entire time, but no one quite knows what he means, so he's accidentally playing mind games with his opponents.

Back again?: it's Amaru, but horse form

Yes they are separate, and I know it kind of contradicts the Deinos & Kakos thing but guess what? I don't care. But anyway, horse amaru could take a direct attack from banes, he can handle a little fist fight. Like horses are kinda tanks already, and he also has wings.

We're def in the you never stood a chance category: Talia

If you're pissing her off, it's barely even a fight. The shit-rocking will be swift, she's by far the most efficient. But she won't do it unless it's really needed.

I'm gonna get flamed for this one: Iris

One of my main reasons for this is bc she was the first person we saw using the crystum-pactus spell, which is just like enhanced punching. And in the episode with the evil stuffed animals, in the initial fight iris just bit the plushie that was latched onto talia.

Like she's more feral than we think she is.

Praxina

I don't know why she wouldn't be using her magic, but actually she probably is, and that's what's she's really able to fuck anyone going against her up.

At the very top: Carissa

For Carissa, every fight is a fistfight. Similar to what I said about Lyna, the fact she's good at combat is part of her character. Carissa is also on the short list of people who have fucking bodied Banes, and on his own turf too. She deserves to be able to kick someone in the face. Like Carissa joining a fight by leaping off something and landing on the opponent's face would be iconic, and you can't tell me I'm wrong about that.