Dale's smug little ordeal once he's arrested, which in itself feels orchestrated (loitering at the bus stop while he has a car, every note he owns crammed in cases, backpack like he's about to have a sleepover, longlegs outfit ON), stating his name and immediately asking for Lee. He knows they will inevitably be bought together. The weepy tone he uses with her that he doesn't with the prior interviewer... the single tear. You can never quite comprehend what's an act, what's an actual emotion, or if it's all so entwined it's basically negligible. Such a vessel for his religion that his attachment to Lee is undecipherable. Can a husk feel anything for anyone.? Is this an act, is it genuine? Does it matter. One million thoughts forever and ever.
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Rewatching the scene where cTubbo reacts to cRanboo's death operating under the assumption that the moment he hears the news his hearing goes shot and the world starts to go fuzzy and spinny, but years as a soldier taught him how to Not Faint, so all his nonchalant and out of place reactions are due to 85% of his brain power diverting to the monumental task of keeping him conscious and standing
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Doctor: Huh, is that who I am now?
Donna: It was never that far from the surface, mate.
Doctor: frowns Yes, it was! You know I used to be a woman. And that made people... assume all sorts of stuff. And - and pretending to be Graham's wife for five minutes was bad enough but - Byron? That was torture. Does the man ever stop talking?
Donna: Takes one to know one
Doctor: Oi! I just mean, there were all these men people assumed I would be into and I - and I just - I just wanted -
Donna: I know, darling.
Doctor: softly I just wanted Yaz.
Donna: I know. - There was one man, though, remember?
Doctor: No, there wasn't! I don't fancy the Master!
Donna: ...
Doctor: Okay, fine. But the Master isn't a man. He's like me! Flexible - uh - timelord gender and stuff.
Donna: Sure.
Doctor: So, anyway, I have always been primarily into wom-
Donna: What about Jack Harkness?
Doctor: - Jack doesn't count, everyone fancies Jack.
Donna: ...fair enough.
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I was going to say that Lilia was pleasantly wrong and that Malleus is nowhere near as bad as Mallenoa sounds, that he is actually pretty level-headed and calm despite having his moments and is considerably less temperamental and more mature than his mother but you know what. I forgot we are currently in this entire situation because of his selfish desire for everything to remain unchanging and poor emotional management to the point he overblotted and put not only Lilia but the entire NRC under a sleeping spell because of his unwiligness to engage with upsetting emotions and letting go of people he loves.
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beatrice baudelaire!
my girl!
How I feel about this character: I've always been really interested in Beatrice because of how mysterious she is. Like, as a fandom we have a lot of headcanons and stuff we've extrapolated from the books and supplementary material, but on pure canon there's a lot of gaps in what we know about her that makes her interesting, especially when it comes to fans trying to fill in those gaps. And I like that she was just this super cool and super hot woman that everyone was so incredibly obsessed with no matter what side they were on, everyone and their mother had a complex about Beatrice.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: If Daniel Handler didn't want me to become far too obsessed with Lemony and Beatrice as a couple, he shouldn't have written five hundred thousand words of Lemony going "Beatrice I love you so much let me list it all" as a way to reassure her when she asks 'hey do you still love me' in the 200 page break up book she wrote. That's just insane, of course I ship it. I'm also really into Beatrice/Bertrand as a couple too, people can have multiple great loves. And depending on my mood I can be really into the lemonberryice throuple.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Beatrice and Kit's relationship is always gonna be interesting to me, and Olaf and Beatrice just seem to have had the most fascinating dynamic, legit friends in childhood to some more vitriolic friendship and then she murders his parents and then he torments her innocent children, it's Good.
My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't know if I've got any necessarily unpopular ones because this fandom in general, and especially the bit focused on the sugarbowl generation, is very small and most of the stuff I've seen I agree with. I guess I might characterize Beatrice as a bit, idk, colder than most? For all her other facets, Olaf was someone she knew and seems to have gotten along with well on a personal level, and she still doesn't seem to have spent much time outwardly agonizing over what might have been straight cold blooded murder. I don't think she was evil or unfeeling, and there's a reason she pulled back from VFD stuff especially after having children, but there might be a more ruthless streak there in my view than in some other people's.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: idk man, that she fuckin lived? It's a bummer that she's dead, she was a devoted mother and a good friend and an important part of a lot of people's lives and it seems like a bunch of worlds were dimmer without her in them, her kids are gonna miss her for the rest of their lives and Lemony is still deeply affected by losing her literal decades after the fact. I wish she'd been able to meet little Beatrice too, I think they would have gotten along great.
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Who is your favorite author
i might get called cringe for this but sjm is genuinely my favorite author. no other books get me as hyped as hers or have helped me through as many personal things. they'll always hold a special place in my heart <3
some of my other favorites include:
brianna sugalski (originally ya fantasy but rewritten as adult fantasy)
melissa wright (ya fantasy mostly with some ya paranormal mixed in)
morgan rhodes (ya fantasy)
and of course, one of the only other authors aside from sjm that made me full on bawl reading their books... miss crystal smith (ya fantasy)
on the topic of crystal's work, i may uh... have a slight obsession with bloodleaf
and it may have come to crystal's attention and she decided to preorder a copy of ebonwilde and surprise me with it wtf?? i'm still in shock over this
and send me some extra goodies alongside my ebonwilde preorder bonuses, like her sending me the two character cards i was missing from when greythorne was released (you can't really see it but it's that sleeve in the bottom right with writing on it lol)
oh! and she sent me her last bloodleaf arc and signed and personalized it for me. alongside a post card where she personally apologized to me about what she did to nathaniel and castillion (AS SHE SHOULD)
overall crystal smith is one of the nicest authors i've had the pleasure of interacting with and her books and characters mean so so so much to me. everyone go read them and talk with me about them PLEASE
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