#except it wasnt very sappy

[rory-multifandom-mess]

Okay, for real this time. 11 and 16 with V and N.

OOOH THESE ARE SOME GOOD ONES! Ok ok we got some eNVy! Bet!

11. "I thought you didn't want me" and 16. "Why haven't you kissed me yet?"

Genre: Hurt/No comfort

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Oooh, boy, this is awkward. Really, really awkward. Of course, that purple thing had to be nosy all over again. Of course, she had to tap into their memories again, because screw their privacy, right?

V had done everything to make sure her stupid memories of that stupid mansion stayed repressed and forgotten about, especially for N, but no, she just had to dig them all up.

There they were, hanging out at Uzi's place, chilling while she played on her stupid computer, N read his stupid books and V had been bouncing a stupid ball off the wall. They were just talking, like normal people, laughing at each other and poking fun at stupid things.

Eventually, N had fallen asleep. And V tried her hardest to stay awake.

She failed and entered sleep mode.

At first, she thought she was dreaming about the mansion again, a repeat of all of the horrors and terrible things she had seen that day, and the monster Cyn had forced her to become.

But then she saw that damned crow again, sitting on N's shoulder like she was all high and mighty. V knew who it was as soon as she saw it, but she couldn't wake up. She couldn't get herself to wake up like she did last time, and then Uzi went on and uncovered her feelings for N and spied on her and now N knew and V finally got herself to wake up and-

The moment V had woken up, she sat up on Uzi's bed, where she had fallen asleep. N woke up at the same time, quickly sitting up, and immediately turned his head to look at V.

Their eyes locked, both of them blushing.

Then Uzi turned in her chair to look at the both of them, their eyes wide.

"Uh... Whoops?" She muttered.

V shot a glare at Uzi, gritting her teeth. Oh, how she wanted to lunge at her and pop her little head off. She wanted to rip her apart and kill her and destroy and maim and-

No. She couldn't. What would N think? What would he think of her after that? Uzi is his best friend. His only friend.

V shook her head, and instead of even threatening her, she fled, her wings bursting from her back as she took to the sky, breaking a hole in the ceiling of Uzi's room.

She heard N shout; "V, wait!" but it was too late. She was gone.

V flew as fast as she could to get away from them, her core beating and her mind racing. She flew straight to the sky, quickly breaking through the clouds and into the silence of the atmosphere. She found a rooftop above the clouds and almost crash-landed there, rolling on the ground.

She stood there for a moment, glaring at the ground, her hands balled into fists and her arms shaking with rage at her sides, her tail lashing around like an angry cat. She was furious.

She let out an angry yell and turned, punching the side of the roof. It cracked around her fist, pieces of it flying off from the sheer strength and force behind the strike.

She breathed heavily, stormed towards the edge of the roof, and sat down, putting herself in a ball.

The worst part was that she still had a crush on N. The biggest, stupidest crush ever. And she hated him for it. She hated him for being so cute and loveable and everything she ever dreamed about. She hated how sweet and kind he was despite being built for slaughter.

She hated that he never changed since the mansion. He hated that she had changed so much.

She hated that she knew he had a crush on her too.

But she had to stay away for his safety. She had to pretend she hated him for his safety, so Cyn wouldn't rip him away from her again, so he could live and be happy forever.

So she wouldn't have to hear his horrified screams as he was torn apart and ripped in half. So she wouldn't have to hear his pleas for her to do something and save him.

She tensed at the memories, gripping her sleeves righter and shoving her face into her knees.

Suddenly, she heard someone land behind her.

"V...?" Asked the familiar voice.

It was N.

"Leave me alone," She said, trying to be assertive. Her voice cracked. She cringed. Damnit.

N didn't say anything. He walked up next to her and leaned against the ledge, next to where she was sitting on top of it.

Silence befell the two of them. Uncomfortable, tense silence. Neither knew what to say. V didn't want to say anything. She wanted nothing but to disappear.

"...Uh... The... The breeze is nice, right?" N asked, smiling nervously.

V paused. She was about to snap at him, but... Something told her otherwise. She sighed and lifted her head, looking out at the night sky, the clouds moving across the sky beneath them. The bright moons shined above them, illuminating their faces and the rooftop and the fluffiness of the clouds.

"Yeah," She said flatly.

A beat passed.

"So, um. That was one memory, huh?" N said again, awkward as ever.

V didn't respond.

"Listen, I'm sorry about Uzi. She- She just gets curious."

"Curious? Curious?!" V shouted, turning to him, her face full of fury, "She probed our minds, N! Don't make excuses for her!"

N put his hands up, startled.

"Wh-why are you getting so riled up about this, V? I-I thought you wouldn't have cared-"

"Because I do care, N!" Digital tears formed in her eyes as she stood up on the ledge, glaring down at him.

He looked up at her, surprised. A bead of sweat rolled down his display.

She opened her mouth to say more but stopped herself.

If I say any more, it'll kill him.

She searched his face for a reaction, then huffed, turning away, her wings flaring out of her back.

"V, wait!-" He said, jumping up on the ledge as well and grabbing her arm, "Please don't go."

She froze, tensing up. Her core ached her urge to hug him stronger than ever. He's said that to her before, It was all too familiar.

She decided to humor him, turning slightly towards him.

Cyn can suck my shiny metal ass.

"I... I didn't know you wanted me," N admitted sheepishly.

V stared into the middle distance, her mind racing.

"I've wanted you since the mansion," V said under her breath, quiet and hushed, almost embarrassed to admit it.

"Then, um... Why haven't you-- Y'know..."

"Why haven't I kissed you?" She finished for him, turning to look at his face.

He nodded eagerly, nervous.

"It's complicated, N. I- I can't tell you. It's for your own safety."

N frowned.

"It's always for my safety. Why can't it be for something else? Why can't I know what you know?"

V didn't answer. She sat back down in her ball, hiding her face in her knees and curling her tail around her legs.

"Why can't I know?" N echoed, jumping down and leaning against the ledge again.

V didn't answer.

N sighed.

He lingered for a moment longer.

Then he left without a word.

V looked up at the sky, tears falling from her eyes.

"Why do you hate me?" She asked no one in particular. Maybe she was talking to God. Maybe she was talking to the Devil himself.

"Why do you hate me?" She sobbed again, her wings appearing from her back and wrapping around herself.

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This was not as fluffy as it should've been. Whoops

~~~~~~~

Prompt Post! Lizzy x Doll; "Stay with me forever"/"Because I love you!" N x V; "I thought you didn't want me"/"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" <- You are here! V x Thad; "I'm in love with you" V x Thad "I missed you so much"/"I can't stay away from you" N x Thad; "Can I kiss you?" N x Thad; "I want you. Only you." V x Thad; "I thought you didn't want me." Sam x Uzi; "The way I feel with you"/"I can't stay away from you." Uzi x Thad; "Please don't leave me"/"I'll always love you" N x Thad; "Please marry me"/"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" N x Uzi; "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen"/"I'm better when I'm with you" J x Thad; "Please don't leave me"/"I'm better when I'm with you."

[bamgamronpa]

april fools day kiibouming …..

kokichi gets tired of thinking of new stuff each year and decides this year hes just gonna be the opposite of usual hes just gonna be entirely honest. poses a fun challenge for himself and for others to worry about just What he could be getting up to

he doesnt exactly say that hes just being honest but he makes sure not to lie. like “well, whatve you been plotting for today?” “oh you’ll know soon enough” like he didnt lie abt anything cuz hes gonna say it the day after but he didnt say it right now

leads to like everyone just being so unsettled from him cuz being him honest like that just feels unnatural and disturbing. except kiibo. hes always found kokichi kinda disturbing but it just makes him more interested. hes not being rude to kokichi and pressing him abt his plans, hes just enjoying what he can. he likes kokichi being straightforward, its easier for him to understand, its easier for him to communicate. it keeps him curious and entertained

extra little specific stuff below ↓

someone loses an item and upon seeing kokichi starts to (very rudely) ask him what he did with it. kokichi keeps telling them that he didnt take it, hes not lying, he doesnt know where it is. he tells them theyre being rude before they stop asking about it, because honesty includes being honest about how you feel about things

he finds loopholes for every question he doesnt want to answer, anything thats too personal or stuff he just replies with smth along those lines. like “im not really comfortable answering that”

extra kiibouming. after he tells everyone that he was being honest for april fools (and also saying people was kinda being assholes) kiibo finds kokichi and talks about how he liked the honesty, even if it wasnt what kokichi likes a lot. he goes on about it for a bit and kokichi goes like “fine fine, i’ll give you some more honesty, just quit being so sappy” and kiibo feels a little bad for pushing hes like “oh no you dont have to” but kokichi insist and tells him to get closer. kiibo does, since he expects it to be like whispered or smth, but instead he gets a kiss (on the cheek) so unexpected….. kokichi laughs at him, saying that kiibo “fell for it” and that he should know not to trust kokichi like that. but that kiss was sooo honest. i love gay people

[asherblueberry]

Little story I’m working on

Asher was walking with his niece and nephew(Amanda Alias and Sam Rozu) through the backyard forest. It was afternoon,5:00 to be exact, almost time for dinner. The air was slightly chilly and Asher can see the grey storm clouds rolling in, “Hey, Abba,'' Amanda said. “Yes, my dear” the dyed red haired uncle replied, “Where are we going? Aren't the flower beds over there near the green house?” Sam asked, “Yes, they are'' he paused “But, I wanted to show you two the flowers that I've been growing,” he then looked at the two niblings, “I think you might like them, they’re in your favorite colors!” After a few more minutes of walking they finally got to an area well lit by the moonlight. Asher walked over to a small patch of moonflowers, Datura, and Brugmansia. “Wow.” the young teens gasped, and took pictures without the flash for the flowers. “...Beautiful,” Sam whispered. “I know right, but be careful of the Datura and brugmansia they are members of nightshade family and are very poisonous.” Asher laughed as his nephew looked at him like an idiot, “really uncle? Why did you bring us near them?'' Sam said fearfully. “OH! Just like you Abba! Such a perfect match!” Amanda said dramatically,her words full of sappy love. The three of them stayed there until the moon was covered by the clouds, “we should probably leave,” asher said as he felt a rain droplet on his arm. As the trio left the garden no one but Sam noticed the murder of crows sitting in the bare trees.Then once it was dead silent, there was a snap of a twig, and he Whipped his head around only to see him,just standing there, a man in red he had no face except for one crooked smile, he pointed a long crooked finger straight at him. They pointed at Sam for a few seconds until he blinked and he was closer. His heart was racing, he felt like the world had stopped and it was him and the man all alone with nobody around. It was only for 10 seconds but for Sam it felt like years. And for the first time in months he was scared. As he stared at the red man, he blinked again and he was soon face to face.

Sam was able to see his face clearly and he found out that he was a rotting corpse, the rotting corpse of the kid his friends bullied, who was killed in one of the sick pranks his friends pulled on him, the corpse of Irving Barnes. Sam was devastated when he found out that Irving died in the accident, his friends on the other hand weren't and just buried the body in the woods. “I-Irving, i-is that you…no it can't be he’d dead” sam slowly fell to the floor as Irving stalked closer, he gurgled as if trying to speak "yOu KIlIeD Me, YoU aRe ReSpOnEsIBlE FoR eVErYThiNg," His voice got louder and more raspy as he grew larger and more terrifying YOU ARE A MURDERER YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN KILLED NOT ME! . Irving Lunged at Sam clawing at his face with long, dirty, and cracked nails, "ILL KILL YOU! ILL KILL YOU! MURDERER! MURDERER! ILL SHOW YOU THE PAIN YOUR FRIENDS GAVE ME, ILL GIVE YOU A TASTE OF YOUR OWN DAMN MEDICINE! ILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID!!! YOU. ARE . A. MONSTER" Irving screamed as he tried to choke Sam. “I HATE YOU SAMUEL GENNA ROZU!!! ILL KILL YO-” irving wasnt able to finish as he was hit with a sharp rock to the head, by Amanda, “L-LEave him alone!!” she screamed

I have this posted on my quotev

[passeriformess]

theseus left the rest of the gang i think and is off rotting somewhere due to her wither sickness

syl and ash also fell down the hole so theyre here now

a portal opened to fucking, hell i think??? and maple got briefly possessed and pushed battery and nerd inside, but its ok they got out alive

the egg claimed credit for maple's possession which angered ori enough to go after her but then scribbles brought him back

scribbles' vine arm fucking. EXPLODED??? and blew up ori along the way?? but without really killing him because you cant die in madness

scribbles' body reformed into a gleamon but????? part of his mind got stuck inside ori's newly rebuilt body?????? or is it his ghost thats possessing him idk???? so now ori has scribbles speaking to him inside his brain or some thing guys what the fuck happened i JUST woke up

-the thing that caused the fucky portal to show up was clem dying for Science™️. not theseus, not clementine. clem is now canon to ddsmp -ori Did successfully punch the egg, but she ran away, which is why he started chasing her

wren theseus and batts were stuck in The hole for like a few months bc they Wouldnt talk and then Everyone got fucking. Wasnt able to rp. so we Stayed in the hole.

also everyone made it out of madness and theres no more gleamons anymore

and all egg vines turned into normal vines

oh yeah wren died but its ok it turns out theyre immortal i think

oh yeah should update this

everyone except wren moved to the tea shop wren moved to dirttopia small argument over death within tea shop people about Should they get death they already got the egg vs Some people Actually dont wanna exist forever

batts visited wren, was nice but then led to argument about sui tw wren planning to Die and all fo the associated things no one else except theseus knows about the plans

battery moved to autrea with nerd n chicory nerd has a HOUSE cemetry currently being built bug has become oh so very >:( they have Issues

Wren death uhh lettuce saying theyre not important and need to leave (aka mcdie but theyre being vague as fuck) wren follows along confused or something eventually 'no' 'you dont matter' idk im basing this off my thoughts from last night wren sets the house on fire after saying they dont care about an audience i think which pisses lettuce off (uhh burning alive but. its probably easy to figure out, both burn to death

everyones been taking it as expected theseus is self destructive scribbles hasnt processed it that much bug is finding it hard to do a lot of tasks n is more angy maple is Fuck who knows 😌 favorite absentee tree chorus has Sat outside and has observed ants. he IS ants. Woahhhh

wren is alive woahhh respawn in elysium, went to autrea, sappy shit with the lizard :( (yes they r immortal ! specifically the "can keep respawning indefinitely" type) no one else knows this and is Still grieving

tea shop tension bug n theseus mostly keep arguing video is above mortal qualms scribbles Leaves a lot ori is loosing hope slowly and Also goes out a lot chorus is. Pokes him. this guys Soggy and consumed i actually got energy..

Thumbs up we r Almost there <- during madness aka the endless and infinite corrodor of dimensions and aus. we were in the void i think ? and then dropped ot the overgrowth and Popped back onto the overworld ithimk

map !

the gnether is gnome nether, right? the gnome invasion wasn't just a fever dream I had?

[uwuowotf2waslife]

The mercs with an s/o who is on the autism spectrum? If you want to

 as a person with diagnosed autism( ASD that later changed to SCD but concidering my countrys lack of proper diagnosis and non-existant support when i was growing up, im not sure,it might was a result of chronic abuse or i was a really weird kid) its my duty to answer this ask,

always know that you are perfect with all your imperfections 

just because maybe your brain is wired different it doest make you less of a person

you are poetry

Scout

-my boy has adhd ( probably undiagnosed until he was examined by Medic) so you two might have a little problem at the begining.

-he might be the closest to a jack russel in human form, but he cares about you and is willing to sit down and do his research so he can understand you and your struggles. He isn’t a hypocrite, he is a hyperenergetic bundle of daddy issues and is sure he will annoy you from time to time, he annoys pretty much everyone except his mom on rare occasion, he is a hanfull and he knows that years now. But he also has come to understand that everyone has struggles and little things that make them more special than others.

-if you have problems with communication , he’ll be your mouth .Problems with sensory overstimulation? he will escort you to the safest place and hug you tighter than he thought hes capable of. People mistreating or bullying/insult you? the bat is in his hands and his ready to hit home runs on their balls. You might not be the perfect couple, you will struggle like every couple and have fights and arguments, but he is ready to phase every difficulty that comes on your way. He loves you and he is here for the ride even if its bumpy.

Soldier

-( I and i think a big part of the community claim he is actually autistic) Probably the most tricky of the mercs, since at one side he might completely relate/understand you and the relationship go smoother than soft butter on bread, or he might have problems communicating the relationship problems with you.

-as all relationships you two must sit down and communicate your problems. Believe me he isn’t mentally retarded ( a horrible misconsumption ive seen being thrown around), yes he is stubborn and can’t read social cues to save his life, but he is a loyal beefcake with a golden heart hardened by a lifitime of war. He knows he isn’t the perfect man, he has nightmares and panic attacks on the regualr after so much trauma in his life. But he also knows that if he S/O needs him, it doesnt matter if its a small or big thing, he is ready to go through hell and back to make them happier or more comfortable 

-you can’t stand loud noises? copy that privet, he will stop yelling/ screaming around you. Certain things make you uncomfortable/ anxious? hes at your side and he is ready to snap necks...you have his heart and his adoration, he ain’t a coward or a pansy, you’ll win over any challenge that comes your way like the absolute unit you are and he is there to assist

Pyro

-fresh from the start they can recognise you have autism, i lowkey think they might be ( actually in young adults asd and mild schizophrenia can be mixed and confused by not good qualified doctors, its been years since i read that study so correct me if im wrong) or have really good gut insticts. Either way, they know you are struggling and trie in subtle ways to help you

-did an important call without stuttering? hug and smooch on the crown of your head, completed all your work/homework? they will cover you in stickers and cuddle you in their pillowfort, stood up for yourself? my girl theyll make a huge cupcake tray and youll two will eat while watching sappy disney films

- you won’t struggle as much, i see them as more easy going than other members of the team. But they also have big issues that may create problems in the relationship that you both need  to work on. They are more than a handfull and they aren’t unaware of it, they spended years locked inside their own head doing god-knows how vile and harming things to their mentality and body, they can’t believe they are alive and they wake up every day next to the most beautifull human being they have come across their lif, ( Y/n). You will bond slow but strong , you are their sunshine and theyll make sure their sunshine shines no matter what they have to do

Engie

( lowkey i think is canon he has some form of high-functioning autism, just hide its behind the southern warm and soft hospitality)

- when you confess, he hugs you ( a big thing coming from him since i dont consider him a touchy fella)  and returns the confession that he is too. He knows each person experiences different so he won’t press you for explanations or description of what you have is excactly. He just assures whatever happens, he is there to help you with

- doesn’t really change how he views you, but he takes the initiative for things like talking to strangers, calling to order or things that you struggle with, but he doesnt baby you. You are an adult person and will be treated as that, even if sometimes he feels he needs to “help” or “protect” you

-one of the most  easy going of the mercs, but his work is his priority so there will be long arguments about it. He understands your frustation, but he is a workaholic years now before you came in his life and can’t bring himself to change that. His work is his routine, the only comfort he knows and the only place that accepted him for who he is. But, he will be more elastic and have more breaks/ days off even if it means the project will be finished an hour or two later, unless it has an urgent deadline. He knows he can be very cold and emotionless, he is an engineer, not a spy for that reason. Furthermore he has his own times when he is stubborns or has an anger explosion because something broke/didnt meet his expectations or got way too invested into something that turned to be worthless/ uselless so he isn’t the one to judge if you are in a sour mood or you have your own “ explosion”. After all said and done, late at night when you are both alonein his workshop he will just cradle you in his arms and make a silence promise to always be there for you through thin and thick ( as we say to go through 40 waves and 40 more ) because you are something that no machine or creation can emulate or recreate, you are ( Y/N) and you are the love of his life.

Demo

-arguably one of the three more knowledgable of the mercs in the topic of mental health department. Being raised in an orphanage i doubt he didnt had at least a dozen other kids who had from high to moderate to severe autism ( during the 20th century it wasnt uncommon for people with autism to be thought less human or that the family of said people couldn’t provide for them in severe cases so theyd be dropped on orphanages and psychiatric hospitals)., so he has some first hand experiene with what autism is. It isn’t something for him in all honesty, after so much trauma and hardship in his life he is at peace that peopleare different and their brains are rarely wired the same

-he also know he isn’t ideal, he acts really stupid when he is drunk and his alcohol consumption alone is a very big problem for any relationship he ever had in his life and i doubt he is the image of psychological perfection, but he also knows that if you are willing to keep him around you have seen him wasted out of his mind, he is more than willing to put up with anyof your quirks or difficulties.

-you want to stim? go ahead he’ll leave the room/the house so you can stim to your hearts content, you want to stay? sure thing lass, hell sit in a corner and drink a bit while you have your thing. Work/ school/ home life is stress full and you are in the verge of a breakdown? he has already wrapped you like a burrito and he is holding you while you cry/vent, you dont want to be touched at that moment? hell take you to an open field and you can blow things up to get all those feelings out of you. He isn’t ideal, he is at peace with that, but now that you appeared in his life, you became the apple of his eye. He’ll cherish you and protect you both as body but as a mind and a soul for whatever shit life throws at you, he was never one to back down a challenge.

Heavy

-due to the language barrier and his nature as a quiet man it’ll take him some time. If you bring it up he’ll simply nod and run to Medic or Spy for translation. He isn’t shy to do a doctors worth of research so he knows what he has to deal with, he knows his english is broken and would prefer to have a migraine over the amount of books hes read than make you feel uncomfortable. Probably will ask advice from Medic ( the most qualified on the team) untill hes satisfied he knows enough.

-probably the sanest of the mercs, but he isn’t perfection. He had to endure famine and death from very early in his life, always be the stone his family anchored on and most people on his life, so he has his own big problems. At one side he is used to so many things, he is somewhat indiferent. You aren’t harming anyone nor its life threatening, so it doesnt really change what he feels about you. All people have flaws, noones perfect and if they do think they are perfect, they are very, very wrong. I won’t lie to you, some times hell get confuse with your behavior or will get tired of being the “ anchor” of the relationship, but he will never admit it. He survived the Gulags and years in Siberia, this is nothing but a walk in the park for him. He isn’t a fuckboy, he doesn’t want you just for some fuck and then hell forget you exist, he is much more sentimental than he appears to be. He beginned this with you because he sees you more than a body, he sees you as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with even if itll be a challenge, he was never a quiter and he wont be now.

- don’t expect much communication help from him, unless its in russian. But whenever you feel the tiniest bit of self-doubt or anxiety his arms are open to embrace and warm you with  his love. He might was raised among anarchy and war, but he is a gentle giant with a heart bigger than Russia herself. He knows you two will struggle especially on the communication domain but he is willing  to do what it takes to make your life easier/ less challenging. He came here to stay, only if you allow him 

Medic

-Arguably the most medically qualified of the mercs, but considering the era of his studies hes at least rusty on modern terminology and general understanding of what autism is. Nontheless his a doctor ( with or without a medical license) and i doubt he ever followed the rules of ethical and unethical medicine. He is a healer primeraly and he can’t claim to be the most mentaly stable of the team.

-he might be many things, he knows hes at least crazy by normal standards and has made extremely questionable choices in his life,but he cares for the people he is close to, lovers and collagues alike. He won’t try to ‘change’or ‘medicate’ you; unless you specifically ask him for, like yes he has defied any sort of ethical medicine and has played god many times in his life, but he knows that if he changes you, you won’t be ‘you’. You will be you still, but nothing more than a lobotomized version of yourself and he fears that. Let’s be real, he probably choosed you because you are a smart individual ( that includes both street and book smarts alike) so if he “killed” your smart he would essentially kill you and this doesnt sit well with him.

-feeling down? no worries, the doctor is here ( afterhe finis hes re-connecting snipers new kidneys). Stressed? Archimedes will be your own personal cheerleader and the rest of the flock won’t let you all stressed and alone while Medic is working. In the simplest of works,he wants you to know that  he might be a madman on the field and the medbay, but he is also your lover and that means he cares about you. He doesnt care if act a lil strange or you have some special things about you, guess what? he doesnt cares. H e never cared and he will never cared, all the greatest minds had something  special about them and you are no exception. He chosed to have a relationship with  you and you accepted the love request of a surgery-happy maniac , im sure he is beyond equiped to handle you in all aspects. He might not be the most touchy but he will make his point across that you are someone who means wayy to much for him to change

Sniper

- ( i highly think he is autistic, just the way hes potrayed in most fanfics he acts lowkey autistic, mostly in the communication and sociable part) growing up in the middle of nowhere probably he has never even heard ‘autism’ as a word , so his very lost. (another headcanon of mine is that he is also iliterate) You need to explain to him what autism is and how it affects your life. He has a non-pleasant expression on his face, because he realises most things that you say what that “autism”is and the thing it has are things he actually  has and felt throughout his life. He looks like hes having a religious expierience and when you are done he only nods and hugs you almost mechanically.

-he will need some time, not because ofyou, but because of him. You might think he is breaking up with, butin reality he just needs some time alone to sit down and think about all the things you said. Its one of the biggest revalations he has experienced on his life and it has hit him like a wall of bricks.

- after a few days he will return to the base and will ask you to meet with him on the most secluded of his snipers nest. While you prepare for the upcoming breakup, he actually showers and wears somet hing nice for the first time in a while. He goes out of his way to make the sniper nest a bit more “ comfortable” even bribe spy into giving him one of his fancy wines. Once you go up the nest and you two meet, he is the most clingy he has ever been and almost drinks the whole bottle out of pure anxiety. Once his tipsy enough he actually confesses that from the things you said, he found out hes also autistic. Que him basically clinging you like a broken koala baby while half-sobbing to expell all the tension he  has inside him. Please pet his hair and rub his back,he will melt and quit his rugged manly man persona for that moment. He needs you there, he needs your soft touch to ground him while his whole life comes crushing down and a weight he never imagined is being lifted from his shoulders.After that, its quaranteed you two won’t be seperated ever again, he needs you to ease all this pain he has gathered from his troubled life and he will provide you the world and the stars.

Spy

- he knows what autism is( as a spy he should know about human psychology/mental disorders just to know how to impersonate any person with or without issues) and he is a very observant man. He has above average attention span and knows how to read body language so he has figured you are autistic a long time ago. He is just waiting for you to open up about it or confess it, but he also knows the social stigma around autism so he keeps his mouth shut because he really doesn’t want you  to feel uncomfortable or ‘naked’ in front of him

- i heavily headcanon him to be at least depressed/having an ugly anxiety disorder or even a dissosiative disorder considering a big part of his life is carefully crafted theater , so he can’t say he is any more better than you.Furthermore he never really cared about what society thinks about mental ilnesses, whos here to judge who sane and not? he has seen so much shady things behind closed doors of “ pure” people he has lost all respect for what society thinks its normal and what is weird or not acceptable. Yes he follows the rules of “good” society but thats more of a habit than a need. Plus have you seen what the good ol’ society behind close doors? yap youll need a good bible study and some church to wash away the sins.

-eventually when you confess to him,he doesn’t really act. He knows its a heavyemotinal moment for you but he can’t open up for his own problems, at least now. But he will embrace you for now and say all the sweet words you need to hear...untill the same time he gets drunker than he can and confesses to you in french all his psychological troubles while he cries on your chest. He won’t let go unless he wants to vomit and he will cling to you for dear life while he experiences one of the ugliest meltdowns he has experienced in the last decade. Probably will wake up with a monster of a hangover, but once he feels you wrapped around him and feel your heartbeat on the bones of his back something will meltin him. He will gather whatever strenght he has, turn around, give you one of the most genuine smiles he has ever given in his entire life and peck your lips bore he starts whining and requiesting you to either kill him or fetch medic. Perhaps one day hell say all the things he wants to say in you mother tongoue but for now, just know he will cherish you and love you like the most exquisite poetry that has graced his life

[p1nkwitch]

If I may one last director's cut: And the Nightmare Collapses? 👁️

Ask as many as you want i dont mind.

Oh my monster au, what to say? I had this in the backburner for a few months now. Originally i was going to make a series of one shots from different characters perspectives.

So first it was going to be Jon waking up from the coma and realizing that everyone were monsters but him sort of like a walking dead scenario. I had the clear picture of him seeing Georgie in her hald deaf state being like, what the fuck happened???

Now the entire idea came to mind with how pissed off i was at everyone in season four acting like Jon was the worst for no discernable reason. Like, Melanie, Basira and Georgie, all treated him in different levels rather cruely. Georgie wasnt so mean, but she was playing blind eye to the whole thing being fucked.

So Jon is the only one who remains human because he tries so hard to keep his humanity despite everything. While everyone else becomes more monstruos, Basira and Melanie in particularly were much more affected, i had a clear vision of a slaughter Mel. But had to keep it brief since Georgie wouldnt want to dwell on her becoming a monster, since now she had no way to deny it. Daisy gets a pass because while on the coffin she regains her humanity by her regret of what she became, its why her changes are minimal in the text.

The other one shots were supposed to be from Elias and Peter perspective with the last being them reuniting.

Now my original idea had no reasoning as to why they were monsters all out sudden. Its not until i realized the potential of the entities just dropping in a world similar enough where they already existed and they end up overcharging, while still carrying the vestigies of the apocalipse that i went like-

Hoy fuck.

Ultimately i am happy with the one shot the way it came out, with Elias being able to see, he was capable of tying up those little threads i wanted to make and make the reference to having an anchor. Anchors tie you to humanity, people are fundamentaly capable of good if they wish too, kindness even in the face of despair, destroys the horrors of the world.

The world wont fix itself, but you adapt and grown and try to make it better.

Now as for the story itself? I just wanted to go buck wild with the scenery of reality fracturing itself and Elias just losing it while perceiving the horrors and understanding far more than possible.

I like eldritch horror i just dont use it enough, or horror shorts in general, maybe i should put up the small ones i made in tumblr they are like a paragraph long each.

For realsies, I really like the idea of monster Elias for several reasons and i wanted to go with it. I have another different take on this verse of how things pan out too, but i will see eventually if i want to write it. There is... also the horny aspec of Peter being, as the fic implies, a monster fucker, not really he just loves Elias whatever shape he comes even if its some weird owl spider thing. If i ever feel brave enough to go thought it in an extra will shall see.

Anyways Jonah goes through life replacing people while manipulating them and toying with their sanity like he did to the ogElias in his interview. Despite being beholding, as per the soup theory, at this point he also represents the stranger, web and spiral fairly well. I have a soft soft for him losing the ability to recognize himself after a while. Because as i pointed out? He kept sort of a more or less stable life, sure, but it must be jarring having to go from one face to another, to have to pretend to be someone else, at least enough that its not glaringly obvious that something is wrong.

So he loses it. The fears overcharge and it all stacks up on him, causing his transformation to be so strong, it ends up consuming him. Not only that but he is vain too, so to be changed into something so horryifing it breaks something else in him, it gives him the idea that no one could want him now, he cant make people do as he says like this, he doesnt know himself and now no one would want to know him anyways. The more he changes the more he loses his sense of self, its not only him, he was so many people it feels weird to be just him, it doesnt fit anymore, so through the story he starts to use they until its what he mainly uses at the end, because he grows and its happy with it by the very end.

His body changes when he doubts himself, the more time it passes the more he forgets. Now the main reason he didnt become a puddle of ink and die, was because as i mentioned he thought about being alone, and it made him think of Peter, that was his last connection, the last thread to a humanity he wasnt sure he still had. When he thinks that he loves him, even if a little, its enough to let him move.

That small lifeline is what actually saved him and what kept him more or less stable for longer that he would have otherwise. Same goes to Peter whos last action before becoming one with his siblings was pick up the phone, the same though went through him, its why even if he was already at the brink of being melded he kept himself alive for longer.

Then there was the idea of copies.

Because, eyes? just the eyes?? I know it works with supernatural energy but, the doubt, the idea or posibility that Jonah Magnus actually died the moment he transplanted his eyes the first time and that Beholding merely put the copied memories of Jonah that it reatained into the new body was such a good concept, i have a special love for it, to not be sure if you are you, but ultimately chosing to live your life despite knowing that you may not be the real one.

I like to point out at the end that he does, that he is the original and that he is not a copy but... its not really proof, Jonah wants to believe it is. Wether is true or not? Thats up to anyone.

Also his monster concept, i toyed with a few options, and ended up adding it somewhat in the final product, originally he was going to be sort of an owl monster sort of mixed with a cat, no not for the joke, i saw really nice fanart of owlcats and i was in love. But as it is i went with something similar to his body in the afterlife beach party.

Instead of tar it was the ink of the letters he wrote, the static remains because he doesnt know his face anymore and he wont again. The fur... i just wanted something nice for later when Peter made his appearence, less sticky more fluffy. 8 arms like a spider, more eyes because of beholding- you get it.

Speaking of Peter!!

Here is the deal, i know or at least believe that the curruption? Is the oposite of the lonely and viceversa. Wanting to be alone vs being consumed by what you love? Perfect.

So the Lukases become amalgamations of fog trapped in a hive mind that they cant escape from. Forced to be together and then to be alone once someone manages to impose themselves like Nathaniel did. Peter could have theorically left his siblings become him, after Elias saw them, but in this, the closenes they shared was enought that he could not do it. <3<3

I wanted to play with the fact that being stuck with so many people, mainly his sisters while slowly melding into one, made him switch from pronouns feeling comfortable in all of them. Lydia, Judith and Clara were all nice and accidentaly he wanted to feel that nice, so he switches more often to her. It too, because at one point he was litreally nothing since the rest were rather happy being one.

Reality check comes and they all realize that, oh shit we fucked him up. Hence the road trip, unfortunately the melding was inevitable, either they became one or someone took charge. Still it gives them time to bond too, which adds to the decision to let them stay with him despite everything. Peter plays into a similar idea, but from a different perspective, you lose yoursef but become a different person. Luka is all of them being at peace with being one, being happy and wanting the same thing, but still mantaining some way to be apart. If i was being sappy i would liken it to a fusion in Steven Universe.

It wasnt as such at first, but later once Peter is the main body they can do it with less fear of dissapearing. It is also true that his feelings bleed out onto them and likewise to him. Its hard being a single being while simultaniously be 5 people in one.

They do love Elias, except for Clara who is mostly just enjoying the company while judging everyones tastes. It is also true that if this hadnt happened they would never have tried it. But life works oddly. Plus they are happy.

The world cant be fixed, but life sort of goes on and people adjust as they can.

Final note? I really, reeeeally wanted to have JME corpses just drop and have everyone freak out. There was a brief idea of having them alive and react to what they did to the world, but i did not want to deal with that many explanations. So yeah, they are dead.

AGAIN SORRY FOR GOING OFF!!! I NEED TO BE STOPPED.

D:

If you want to ask something in particular go ahead i have the ideas still fresh for this one in my head.

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[sajiri]

Evolution of an OC

Here I am to show how one of my favourite OCs has grown and developed over time. Of course, it’s Dijana.

A little background, typically when I play games, I have character archetypes that I recreate until I end up developing a story for them, and then I leave them in that media. So the ‘original’ Dijana, was my character archetype of ‘dark, evil magic user’. The name ‘Dijana’ means heavenly, divine, so it was meant to be ironic. She was never an evil character, just used dark or forbidden types of magic.

So lets begin.

Final Fantasy XI

There wasnt really customisation in this game. You had a few preset faces, each with 2 different haircolours. This was the one I chose. I don’t have a screenshot from that, but lets just say, that specific face looked terrible in game. Hurhur

Dijana was originally a hume. Going with the forbidden magic theme, she was a summoner. I eventually learnt about dat editing, so swapped her out for a shorter, pink haired model.

I had/have a developed storyline for this characer, and she still exists even though I’m not actively playing FFXI anymore. I eventually changed from Summoner main, to Dancer main. Here’s poopy old chibi sketches from 15 years ago.

FINAL FANTASY XIV

FFXIV 1.0 essentially recreated all the races and faces from FFXI...except for that one over the shoulder hairstyle for hume/hyur. So I went with the short haired style. There was no summoner or dancer back then, so I started as marauder in the alpha and beta tests (yes I’ve been playing that long). After the wipe and leading into official launch, I went archer instead.

FINAL FANTASY XIV: A REALM REBORN

Still the same looking hyur that she’s been forever. I was excited for SMN release, but it didn’t match Dijana’s established history going all the way back to XI. I instead leveled as SCH, but went back to BRD.

During this time, Dijana’s story just...didn’t really convert well from XI to XIV. I RP’d a bit with her, she married a miqo’te man (no not G’raha), and eventually decided to finally try some new hairs and looks. She was still always pink haired white girl though.

FINAL FANTASY XIV: HEAVENSWARD

Ahh Heavensward. I wasn’t really into the idea of playing a lizard girl, but I didn’t like midlander’s princess run. I was very interested in Au Ra’s lore though, so as soon as the first expansion launched, I bit the bullet and race changed.

I essentially just tried to duplicate her look as an au ra, but I alternated between raen and xaela a whole lot. I could never decide which I liked more- lore wise it was xaela, but aesthetics (for the more vibrant tones) it was raen.

I started to gradually sort out her story a bit more, and decided IC she was mixed- raen mother and xaela father. I bought so many fantasias back then changing back and forth, and gradually making her skin darker each time. Also decided I didnt like the fish horns.

FINAL FANTASY XIV: STORMBLOOD

This is when I finally decided to sort out her character story and settled on staying as a xaela. Going into SB, I knew we’d be going to the Azim Steppe, so I went through the xaela tribes info to decide which tribe she was initially born to. I decided on Oronir as the most suitable, and so when I finally made it to the Steppe, I wanted to find a xaela man who most resembled Dijana, even if it was an unnamed npc, and make that her long lost father. Who did I find? Freaking Magnai. Obviously he is too young to be her father...and uh...cant seem to find a woman anyway, so he is her half brother.

I stopped doing any RP on Dijana during this time. To cut a long story short, my rp partner and Dijana’s husband decided he was going to rp out an ‘alternate’ timeline with another friend of his, after we agreed no romance RP with others on our mains, and made a far more detailed storyline than we had in years. Lets just say my feelings were pretty hurt, so I decided that Dijana’s storyline would not involve other player characters, only NPCs.

And because I love to torture my own characters, she was pining after G’raha Tia, who had locked himself away in the tower, never to be seen again.

Well, look how that turned out.

FINAL FANTASY XIV: SHADOWBRINGERS

By now, Dijana has a dedicated storyline without me constantly unsure wtf I’m doing. I discovered mods by now, so making Dijana look more how I imagine is much easier. Unfortunately, feels like all the hair mods I like don’t have working highlights :I So Dijana’s blonde/gold tipped hair doesnt really get to be seen much. But the best part? FREAKING FINALLY I GOT DANCER

Crystal Exarch’s presence in this expansion obviously threw a wrench into the plan of ‘lets make my character as miserable as possible’ but what the hell, now I can take sappy screenshots.

And now we are all caught up. Pink haired human to dusky lizard girl.

[benreyplush]

ok so

benny is some sort of benrey clone after some weird shit happened when benrey was defeated and made his way back into gordon’s games like payday 2.

he somehow got into terraria and has no memory of black mesa or who he was even based off of. he barely remembers his name and all it came out to him was “benny”

he’s also freakishly tall

when jack (the world’s guide) found him, he was very quiet and seemingly apathetic about his surroundings. didn’t really talk much and jack thought he was an enigma for a while. he did his usual and helped him begin his life there.

but then benny started doing some weird shit that jack wasnt prepared for. enemies couldn’t hurt him. he could freeze time. destroy and create items indefinitely. he has no idea what benny is and the order of the guide never talked about anything like this so obviously he’s very freaked out at first

slowly benny starts remembering some of his old personality and would say things that make 0 sense to jack. jack doesn’t know what “poggers” means.

eventually benny remembers a lot of it and actually feels kinda sad. like he feels like he has to be this “benrey” but he doesnt want to be. hes different.

and jack tells him he’s not benrey. he became his own thing and that was good! and he doesnt have to be like him. benny was very relieved by this and sorta became his own thing. like he was still like benrey but less of an asshole and really just goofed around. he still found himself harassing the new npcs that move in but he never harasses jack. he likes jack.

jack says he wont call him benrey. to him, he’s benny. and benny really appreciates it.

jack always wondered what benny meant by “self aware” when he talked about his memories. benny talked about the “npc ai just getting a mind of their own” and said when he joined this new world, it must have turned everyone in terraria self aware like in half life. so thats cool.

eventually jack like. realizes he might have a lil crush on benny and feels bad about it. because he knows his fate is to be sacrificed in the end and he doesnt wanna grow too close to benny.

but inevitably they end up together and jack is starting to question if he needs to die. like originally he came to terms with it a long time ago but now he’s actually reconsidering??? wow! they have at least one argument when jack actually sits him down and explains the wall of flesh thing.

at some point jack convinces benny to take him on an adventure and they end up in the underworld. jack’s plan was to go through with the sacrifice and almost succeeded but benny grabbed him and told him not to do that again. and jack was like “you have to let me do this” and benny was like “no dude i love u” and then they kissed and it was like. the first time either of them have kissed anyone ever but it was still nice.

and jack is like “ok actually i want to live with you forever lets go home” but a demon appears when they arent paying attention and attacks them and jack gets knocked into the lava and the wall of flesh is summoned. and benny is devastated. 

when thats over a new guide shows up but benny wants nothing to do with him bc he is not jack. and benny is mad at himself bc he can freeze time, control enemy spawn rates n shit but he cant bring ppl back to life and he feels worthless about it

so the rest of the story is about benny having to move on and accept his death :(

so its a sad story 

but here’s some nice things

benny knows the sweet voice still and uses it on jack all the time. it was confusing to them both when he did it the first time. eventually jack gets used to it and actually really likes it. 

jack is supposed to be the helpful npc so he usually keeps himself together but as he grows closer to benny his emotions start coming out more and whenever he’s stressed he can just look at benny and say “sweet voice pls” and benny calms him down with it. benny also uses it to get jack to sleep (”blue and red means its time for bed :)” ) because normally he shouldnt have to but being self aware is tiring.

oh also whenever jack gets burns from the voodoo dolls in the underworld, benny heals them with the sweet voice healing beam :). benny has no idea how he keeps getting burned and eventually just assumes its bc of the furnace and is like “bro stop shoving ur hands in the furnace lol” and jack cant bring himself to tell him the truth so he just goes with it.

benny was the first to confess and he did it by serenading jack with the worst guitar playing that jack has ever heard <3 but it still made him smile. i know he really had to think about it before accepting it bc wall of flesh, can’t get too close, blah blah blah.

plus idk how relationships work in the order of the guide. he probably really didnt expect to get into a relationship and the new guide that comes along probably found it super strange.

anyway this is a lot of text wow im gonna just add on to the post as i think of shit but if u read all of this i am in love with u

EDIT: I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE A HAPPY ENDING

after defeating the moon lord, either the order of the guide or maybe even the spirits of terraria herself brings jack back because benny deserves that after saving all of them.

so benny notices the new guide is gone and was like “weird but whatever” and then he hears someone call out to him. he’s like “ugh what” and turns and its jack and he like. drops his weapon in his hand in shock and takes his eye mask and helmet off to see him properly. like he isnt sure if he’s dreaming or not.

and then he runs to him and grabs him and he’s real holy fuck. so he’s overjoyed and both of them fucking cry (first time jack actually sees ben cry ever!!!) and they kiss n shit and its incredible the end. since the world has been saved, the two live a more domestic life and benny is like “we’re never going to the underworld again ever and also im going to be around u a lot bc i missed u so much and i cant lose u again” so he’s extra clingy but jack is so happy to be back with him that he doesnt care!!!!!

also funny fact but the mechanic was the first npc to move in with them and (i think her name was shayna in my world. will change it if not) was overly annoyed at their constant sappiness before jack was killed. ben was extra affectionate to jack around her bc he likes annoying ppl (except for jack). but when jack comes back from the dead, she still acts annoyed but she’s actually relieved to see benny happy again.

[rosesanthology]

Not as Bad as i thought | Matsukawa Issei x reader

Okay so i've been thinking about this scenario for a WHILE now and im,,,,,not mad at how it turned out ? Lmao y'all see for yourselves

- songs :  • savage remix by Megan Thee Stallion feat Beyonce

                 • kimi no nawa theme song

- weather association au : dusk (i dont even know if that's seen as a weather but oh well-)

[Tags] : @raevaioli asked sooooo👀 @haikoo

- you weren't really sure how long you've been walking for

- you tried to recall the events from today with much difficulty as you strolled on the sideway at 4pm, still in school uniform but much messier than when you first got out of the house this morning, backpack lazily thrown over your left shoulder

- "and there goes a perfectly good weekend" you sighed, not talking to anyone in particular but yourself or maybe the occasional stray cat

- your house wasn't even close to the way you were going and you couldn't care less

- your phone had data anyway you could just search your way back in google maps (｀ε´)

- plus it's not like you walked across the whole country and you already called your mom to make up some excuse

- "we'll talk when you get back." She had told you over the phone , you were pretty sure that the school had informed her of what happened

- thinking about it made you sick to your stomach so you opted on just focusing on how much of an anime MC vibe you were giving off right now instead !!!

- i mean, basically running away after school to go on unplanned walks with a messy uniform while listening to the new savage remix by Megan and Beyonce ???? Pretty badass ngl (◡︿◡✿)

- if only your balance wasn't -2/10 then maybe you could even skateboard and act like you were in an indie movie

- but back to the matter at hand

- the anger swelled up inside you as you started to think over what had happened

- you were in the midst of a chemistry class and you had been paired up with none other than your toxic ex who made you feel like crap for the most random stuff

- you were literally just vibing trying to adjust the microscope and he just HAD to shove you out of the way because, allegedly, you "didn't know how to do it", causing you to back into another girl's test tubes and bunsen burner !!!

- WORSE IS THAT THAT GIRL STARTED YELLING AT YOU FOR RUINING HER WORK !!!! like damn it's not your fault

- luckily the teacher was kind enough to aknowledge your apology and scold the girl for yelling but still !!! You were angry !! (⋋▂⋌)

- so angry that you may....have started crying in class just cause beating the living hell out of your ex was just not something you could do and not get at least detention for-

- the embarassment of it all had caused you to storm out of the school at the first chance you had, not wanting to murder your ex or anybody else if they made any comments

- you were taken out of your internal turmoil in the middle of the sidewalk by the smell of the sea and well,,,,,the sight that was literally right in front of you

- not to be sappy or basic or anything but a good sunset never failed to make your heart go doki doki from the pretty colors(●´ω｀●)

- you didn't even notice time passing or the sky painting itself like that

- weird huh

- what a world we live in

- anyway you truly felt like things were meant to be at the moment you set foot on the soft sand (you'd have taken of your shoes if it wasn't for your socks preventing you from it)

- in this moment of awe you stuffed your phone and earbuds in your bag and made a run for the water !!!! Excited to see the cute riples of foam closer !!!

- and then you fell.

- FACE FIRST IN THE SAND BABY

- and you would have been fine if it wasnt for the loud sound of someone SNORTING AND CACKLING BEHIND YOU LIKE ?????

- FIRST OF ALL YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE ALONE ????

- AND WHO TF DARED ???

- THE GUY DIDNT EVEN HELP YOU HE JUST CAME UP TO YOU AND LET OUT A

- "Damn ive never seen anyone so eager to bite the dust !" And then laughed again !!

- ●︿●

- thats where it dawned upon you that this guy was one of the third years from your school's male volleyballl team !!!! If you remember correctly his name was Matsukawa Issei but did it really matter ???

- it was someone from school who was laughing at you ???? You Y/N L/N

- the embarassment came crashing onto you like the waves on the shore and in a second you were sobbing

 - the hot tears were rolling down your cheeks at high speed and you swore you heard Mattsun gulp when be realised what was going on

- "w-wait sorry...i didn't mean to make you cry" he didn't really know what to do so his hands were just hanging in the air as he knelt down in front of you

- ⋋_⋌ you mustered up the energy to glare at him thru your glossy eyes but really it looked as intimidating as a hamster- haha what no, the middle blocker's heart totally did NOT skip a beat with the pouty hamster + sunset color palette combination !!!! Not that you'd notice anyway

- instead of kneeling there awkwardly he opted for picking up your backpack before sitting next to you, putting his knees up to his chest and staring at anywhere but your very embarassed self

- "i really mean it you know ? Sorry for making you cry..." MATSUKAWA ISSEI STOP BEING A SIMP FOR SOMEONE YOU JUST MET CHALLENGE YOUR SUN PISCES IS SHOWING KING

- "its not entirely your fault...." you managed to say between hiccups, "ive kinda had like....a really really bad day"

- ".....i see" i sEe HeAdAsS you should have thought about it before laughing at Y/N like that !!!

- after that you didn't really know what to do

- i mean yeah grabbing your bag, flipping him off and then going back home sounded like a tight plan but at the same time,,,,,the sound of the waves was calming and the sun was pretty   (●´ω｀●)

- and little did you know that as you were too focused looking absolutly enamored with the sun itself Mattsun was looking at you trying to think about how the hell he was going to keep the conversation and the vibes going when you're just sitting there looking like THAT

- it was like that one scene in Kimi no Nawa when Taki and Mitsuba see each other for the first time sodjdisnakaka

- except that he was the only one staring but that didn't really phase him

- "you know-" ah here it comes

- he started talking so he'd have to go thru with it until the end

- he weirdly enough did NOT want you to turn to look at him because he knew that if you did the words would get caught up in his throat and- oh no you did

- oop the sand looks very interesting all of a sudden wow :0

- "you know when i have a bad day i usually come to sit here and watch the sunset"

- "okay and ?"

- GOSH Y/N LET HIM SPEAK PLEASE HE'S HAVING A HARD TIME

- "and it feels nice....like today for example, i just lost a volleyball match against some other school, Karasu-whatever you probably don't care but....after living such a hard loss it feels nice to look at the sky painted in all these colors you know ? Plus you don't have to talk so it's great it's as if you were on top of the world-"

- he was cut off by the sound of your laugh

- "ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME ???"

- as you struggled to catch your breath you looked at him and smiled

- "you know you're not as bad as i thought !"

- huh

- you were definitely something :\

- spiking the ball right thru Matsukawa's chest and straight to his heart

- "My name's Y/N L/N im a 2nd year ! also don't worry i wasn't making fun of you at all i just can't believe that you exposed your simp card so proudly to someone you BARELY know"

- "well i felt bad because-"

- "it's cute (▰˘◡˘▰)"

- OH.

- MY MANZ WAS AT A LOSS OF WORD

- WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT MAKING FUN OF A GIRL FALLING WAS ALL IT TOOK TO MAKE HIS DAY A 100 TIMES BETTER

- HE WOULD HAVE TO TELL MAKKI ABOUT THIS ASAP

- you snapped him out of his daze by pointing out that your mom would be worried if you walked alone to your house at night

- "sooooo is it my cue to walk you home ?" smooth recovery from him, you must admit

- "should we get boba on the way ?" You said standing up and dusting your shirt

- "you bet."

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

For the fic request thing some kind of human au for Desleep? Sorry, I know I’m being super vague but I really don’t have anything specific I want, just that ship? Idk

Hope you had fluff in mind cause that's where my head went. Thank you for the prompt!

Five More Minutes

Summary: Not every day is going to be a good day. But it's easy to turn it into one when a warm lap awaits you just inside your home.

Warnings: mild swearing

Ships: Remy (Sleep) x Janus (Deciet)

WC: 1,082

Janus trudged tiredly up the stairs to his apparrment. The sixth floor had seemed like a great idea at the time. Only to other occupied spaces were up there and they were towards the front, while his own was nestled safely in the back corner. Quiet and peaceful since it didnt share any walls with loud neighbors and far up enough that the fact that the buildings elevator didnt work was usually a blessing since it kept guests away when he really wasnt in the mood for social interaction, which happened more often than not.

Well. With one exception.

He dug around in his bag for the key, smiling as he caught faint music playing inside. He paused as he strained to hear the tunes better, smiling wider while unlocking the door.

Origin of Symmetry. Dark Shines. Of course. Idly he wondered how long the album had been on loop throughout the day. He knocked the door shut with a toss of his bag, leaving it where it landed for now and slipping his shoes off as he walked. The hat fell next to reveal tousled dark blonde hair in desperate need of a flattening iron if only to save his edgy style from tipping into choir boy aesthetics. He caught sight of his target resting on the couch, legs splayed and head tipped back as he hummed softly to the music. An easy work day mist have been too much to ask for either of them.

Flopping unceremoniously onto his stomach he wriggled forward until he was fully stretched out on a warm lap. If he had ever wondered why cats liked laps so much he had stopped when he met Remy and they had cuddled for the first time. Warm, safe and only slightly uncomfortable with how bony the others' knees could be it felt like all the problems of the world could be boxed off neatly and launched into the sun for all he cared to think about them while relaxing. And that wasn't even mentioning....

Sinking down even further he very nearly purred at the feeling of fingers scraping gently along his scalp, carding through messy curls and getting the worst of them away from his face. As the last guitar riff faded out, Muses cover of Feeling Good ironically began to play, the build up to the guitar drop syncing nicely with the scratches and filling his chest with warm happiness.

He didn't know when he had gotten quite this sappy. Only for Remy.

And speaking of. "Rough day?"

Humming his affirmation, his boyfriend moved to running careful fingers over his neck and any part of his upper back he could reach, chuckling as it caused Janus to stretch out with quiet contentment. "Yours doesnt seem to have gone much better, bae."

"How did I get stuck with such a basic bitch?" He groaned and buried his face further in his captured lap.

"Oh honey. Bitch? Maybe. Basic? Doubt. You wouldn't what to do with me and my coffee addiction keeping you awake until one in the morning."

Granting again, Janus flipped over to scowl at the other. "Exactly what time do you have your phone set for that you think the latest you keep me up is one?"

Smiling, Remy leaned down to peck his nose. "If I set my phone so that it only shows nine o'clock at three thirty in the morning and trick my brain into thinking I follow a proper sleep schedule then that's my business. You business is to tell your clingy boyfriend that you love him very much and then tell him why your day was shit. I can see the underlying murder under all of that pure adoration."

Pointedly ignoring the muttered "Pure irritation more like" Remy laced Janus' fingers into one hand and resumed his petting with the other, smiling softly as he watched him melt under the touch.

"It wasn't bad. I just wish it was socially acceptable to...nudge...certain coworkers down an icey sidewalk to see how many pedestrians I can knock over. I'm fully inclined to believe that that is not an unreasonable request."

Remy bit back a laugh to try not to disturb his fading headache. Caffeine kept the worst of the migraine away but he had managed to overdo it after about the 12th cup of espresso laced frappuccino. He settled for a small smile and nod of the head, expression serious as he considered the scenario.

"Maybe just use your manager to bowl over the coworkers. Innocent bystanders hardly deserve to incur your wrath."

Janjs squeezed his hand and chuckled. "It takes far goo much energy to keep righteous morals straight. I'll take what I can get. What about you? Did you have to kick anyone out again?"

The bar Remy mixed drinks for was far from high class but it was a nice establishment nonetheless. Even so, there was an occasional brawl the was left to him to break up since for at least half of the shift he was stuck on his own. Thankfully today had been a slow day, no one really came in on Thursdays, which he voiced thankfully to his partner.

"If I'm ever at the bar while you're oure working and a fight breaks out, am I allowed to shout for you to give them the chair?"

"Only if your recording it so we can say it was self defense. My insurance is good but it's not getting away with chair violence good."

"My boyfriend is such a badass."

"And mines a cuddly sap." Tiliting his head to avoid the retaliating swat he leaned his head back against the couch cushion.

"Since we both feel like tired shit I vote for takeout tonight. Pizza?"

Janus nodded. "Only if my half is Hawaiian."

Remy wrinkled his nose. "You're an abomination."

"Its not my fault you're boring with your order. The most extravagant I've seen you go is getting extra cheese put on a plain cheese pizza."

"With all the complications I put into my coffee, let me have my simple pizzas."

"Bassssic."

Remy tugged the hair he still had his hand tangled in gently. "Shut up and order. Your phone is closer and I'm lazy."

Janus shifted on his lap, turning to face Remy's stomach and wrapping his arms around his waist. "Five more minutes."

Laughing softly as the last chords of Megalomania faded around them he settled further back onto the couch.

"Five more minutes."

This is available to read on AO3!

[knifekris]

PLEAS tell us about your au....... and i hope you'll feel better soon!! stay careful and dont get sick please 😔

im already sick anon im sorry 😔 HOWEVER…

[ QUICK DISCLAIMER this tyzias uses they/he pronouns which is slightly different from the standard they/them i use but its butch lesbian indulgence hours and im God. anyways. ]

[ALSO UNDER THE CUT BC THIS IS LONG]

lemme tell you about zizi “tyzias” strider

alright so the premise for this au is basically “dave still had bro as a guardian but tyzias’ baby meteor crashed on top of dirks and smushed him” so alpha dave goes “well fuck i guess i have a troll baby now”

when i was talking to my roommate about this they put the mental image in my head of like, alpha dave with one of those baby carriers with grub tyzias just on his chest while he was fighting the clowns on the white house and while that may not be canon its Really Fucking Funny to me and i hope i get around to drawing it

um um anyways dave wasnt about to assign an alien baby a gender so he kind of left some of his shit for them and some shit hed think rose would leave for a girl or w/e but for the most part just stuff he Thought Would Be Cool– basically what dirk got originally but w some more variety and probably less anime shit because i actually like tyzias . anyways. they still get lil cal bc i feel like thats probably narratively important and for the most part tyzias is just like “yeah thats my puppet lil cal he’s pretty neat i guess. anyways”. obviously theyre going to treasure anything and everything dave left for them bc theyre sappy like that and literally dont have anything else.

it took a couple years for tyzias to realize how different they are from their human friends and they have this really deep insecurity stemming from when they realized theyre not a human like their ‘dad’/’bro’ but a troll like the condesce and they dont know SHIT or FUCK about troll culture or physiology except for whats out there for them to find which isnt a lot. so they get this weird irrational fear that if theyre not careful theyre gonna end up violent and bloodthirsty like )(IC who is a person who hurt not only dave but also rose and is actively making theirs n roxys lives hell and its a lot of “im so different from everyone i know and its in an arguably bad way”. especially wrt molting and blood color n stuff they dont have any explanations for anything except “im different from my friends and its weird and i dont want them to know because then they might think im weird or even BAD for being a troll”

they work REALLY hard on not letting this insecurity get in the way of who they want to be for their friends– which is to say they want to be someone dependable and  a person to lean on and to look to for support. **!!blood player hours alert!!** tyzias feels responsible for the people around them (jane roxy jake) and wants to do what they can to ensure that they all stay safe and happy because other than a long-dead alpha dave these are the people that they have and thats really important to them.

i know theres no class or aspect doubling within the kids but i reaaaalllyyy wanna make them a seer of blood but might settle for mage. seer would help out wrt the game over bullshit because you have to think about where dirk was during the fight and why he wasnt IN it and why he didnt go with john and roxy to the new timeline and stuff. these are all things that make me wanna reread homestuck so i can get a cohesive thing going on. anyways.

dirks version of masculinity affected a LOT of stuff in homestuck and so did lil hal and with both of those things gone u gotta think about like. for example jake and how hes all gung-ho about being a Dude and Manly and the way he goes about exploring his gender kind of cluelessly. and i dont want to make tyzias more ‘woke’ than they necessarily WOULD be in their scenario but i like to think theyd get a decent grasp on what it meant to be a butch lesbian– or at least enough to find comfort and joy and happiness in it while learning more about it and themselves as they grow. the internet exists on earth b. im allowed.

anyways jake and tyzias are best friends and its the most wonderful dynamic thats come out of this thing (there are a lot of good dynamics. i have a lot of very specific self indulgent things going on in this au.)

[ tyzias noogying jake and saying “hey you fuckin’ nerd” while he yells “JEEPERS, ZIZI” ]

tyzias and jake get to talk about things like masculinity and what even is a gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland/on a deserted island and i think esp with tyzias’ aversion to showing what they look like or sending pics jake would go about assuming that tyzias is his Dude Friend until one day they have a conversation where tyzias goes “no bro im a lesbian” and jake has this moment of like. “… :D well thats neat buddy”

anyways tyzias encourages jake to go out and explore the island in SAFE and HEALTHY ways and they voice call while hes out and about so they can sort-of hang out as best as you can across spacetime and its fun. they like talking about stories (usually movies and shows) together bc its their common interest. 

zizi is really into storytelling and writing which is kind of a mirror of dirk/dave being really into drawing while holding onto zizi’s interest in literature and history n stuff.

as for roxy i think itd be really neat if tyzias’ “what is gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland” thing inspired them to think about themselves and what their gender is vs. janes and maybe (or definitely) they come out as nonbinary and jane gets to be confused by zizi and roxys “weird pronoun preferences”

shit there is SO MUCH to think about with this. fuck. send me more specific questions so i dont just get caught up in my brain with all this. theres so much.

[guksvalentine]

hey ya’ll!!

so you might have noticed that i haven’t been posting. at all. if im being honest, my activity on this blog has declined since a month ago? ill get to the sappy stuff later, but let me at least explain why !

the short version - 

basically i joined marching band and i dont know if it was a coincidence that i lost interest or if it was because band took up all my time, but i just lost interest in bts. its nothing about the fandom and i dont dislike bts in any way! 

the long version - 

im someone who moves on from things quickly. i lose interest quickly. if you’re my friend you know that i get super hooked on shows but only watch a couple seasons because i get bored. some shows like the office have been an exception but you probably realize that by now ;) now bts is no tv show, but i had new things come into my life at the same time that i started distancing from the fandom/stopped posting on my blog. it became a chore for me - not like it was tiring, but more that i didnt care enough to put stuff out there? so yes. i lost interest in kpop

HOWEVER!!!!

i still very much love bts the same way i agree arrow is a good show, but i didnt feel like finishing it. when i started to care about bts, a lot of good things came from it. (although it was only like 8 months tops) i really didnt have a lot to define myself with. i didnt play a sport, i wasnt in a club, i was just hanging around u know? and this gave me something to care about. im so grateful for like my small kpop circle!! (its given me irl and online friends) even tho thats sappy but. being in this fandom was definitely worth it. i still very much care for bts and just because i wasnt here for long that doesnt mean my love for them wasnt genuine! i support everything they do <3

also im not deleting my blog or anything i just wont be posting at all. i will check tumblr every now and then and im going to continue talking to mutuals i havent distanced from already lmao so. not forever

thank you for everything-

samantha

[clowngremlin]

i’ve had caffeine and im feeling a bit sappy and im thinking about disneyland and my sister and i just love my sister so much.....like we’ve always been really close, except for a brief period of time in high school when we didnt see each other very often because she was living with my mom and i was living with my dad and we were fighting a lot cause we were shitty teens.....i missed her a lot during that time and i made a lot of art about it. we sort of like reconnected in like grade 11-12 when she started to see my dad more because my dad’s wife at the time wasnt around as much. since like going to university, we’ve started doing a lot more together and we actually see each other fairly often!! she always likes to do things with my dad and i!! she was one of the first people i told i was gay to when i was in high school, and she was also one of the first people in my family that i told i was trans, the other being my older brother! she’s always been so supportive of me, calling me spencer, trying really hard with my pronouns but she has a hard time calling me he and her brother but i understand why. she has a really different relationship with our brothers than she does with me, and she connected with me as her sister, so i really do get it and im not mad at her, especially because she tries to get my mom to call me spencer and defends me against my triplet brother when he’s being an asshole to me about me transitioning. she also always makes sure that my mom doesnt buy me anything too feminine and this year at christmas, she made sure everyone got me mens clothing!!! also, the other night, she phoned me and she was really upset because she had done one of those bias tests with her class and she did it on sexuality, and she got that she had a strong bias towards straight people and she was like really upset because she was like “my sibling is gay!!! i love them a lot!!!!” and so then i took the test for fun and i got that i strongly preferred gay people and so i phoned her and was like “i think its cause youre straight and im like gay” and we laughed and talked about disneyland some more!!! we also go to hockey games together and we follow each other on twitter and this year i was able to buy her a birthday present, because we share a birthday since we’re triplets, and i got her a set of 101 Dalmatian pop figure keychains and a lion king pin because those are like two of her favorite movies!! sometimes i just buy her things because i see them and they remind me of her and im like >:3c shjsdfjdf anyways tldr i love my sister so much, she’s an angel and honestly she deserves the world because she’s so good and i would die for her!!!

[parspicle]

HEY HEY GUESS WHAT I DID!!

I HAVE A PATREON NOW!!

its so pretty I'm so proud!!

SEE IF I WASNT SICK ID GO OFF INTO A TANGENT AND ALL SAPPY BUT IM SICK SO LETS GET RIGHT INTO THE POINT! 

EVEN 1 DOLLAR HELPS Y’ALL ARE ‘MAZIN

UNRELEASED SKETCHES: This includes something that i did at 3 am to something i just couldn't finish! 

WIPS: If i ever stop in the middle of a piece (I usually don't), I’ll post the lineart/halfway shaded version of it on patreon! This is pretty self explanatory. These:

The first one seems pretty self explanatory

FREE MONTHLY WALLPAPERS: YES!! FREE MONTHLY PHONE BACKGROUNDS THAT Y’ALL GET TO VOTE TO CHOOSE THE FANDOMS FOR!

FREE MONTHLY SKETCHES: These sketches will be of WHATEVER character you want!! (No nsfw of course!) It won't have shading, and it'll probably be very quick! Like this:

So all of these are p self explanatory so,

OK THE FREE LINEART IS LIKE THIS:

in all seriousness if you donate $25 you’re a sweetheart and deserve the world

P SURE THEY’RE ALL. i don't need to say this again then

OK THE FULL COLOR THINGS? THEY CAN RANGE FROM FULLBODY TO ICONS YOU GET TO HECKIN CHOOSE:

anyway that is the last of it yes

FINALLY, HERE’S THE LINK AGAIN! 

IF YOU DECIDE TO DONATE *OH MY GOD YOU’RE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU*

IF YOU DON’T *YOURE STILL AMAZING*

((REALLY though, I love each and every one of you, platonically of course (except for Them) 

[billys-hard-grove]

MUSIC THINGY <3

I was tagged by @billnsteve (thank you sooo much, i love this a lot. i can talk about  music all day long)

Put your music libraby on shuffle and put the first 10 songs that come on. So, okay, this is all the music that i have listened to in my 23 years of existence, so this can get embarrassing. sorry in advance.

Aaah, okay, this got long, because im rambling about every song, but youll find my music opinions under the cut :p

AND I TAG @benalras, @hoppnhorn, @lovelydacre, @digitaldevilqueen, @billyandsteve @harringrovehearted @harringroveismyguiltyship @galaximerboi @decxmpxsitixn @pretendimstraight  and i dont care if youve done it, because you know you can do this forever.

1. Underground Café - Di-rect Oooh, this was the VERY first band that i ever listened too, so that is a nice and symbolic start. Di-rect is a Dutch punk/pop band and this song is their old stuff where they were still nice and punk-y. It’s a very nostalgic sound to me and i love this song.

2. The Fisher King Blues - Frank Turner I love Frank Turner so fucking much, but ive never actually heard this song before (i just dumped his entire discography in my spotify list). But you know, all his songs are amazing and he is a lyrical genius, so its no surprise this is a good song as well. (oh shit, its like real good though. this man can do no wrong)

3. Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks - Panic at the Disco Hmm, i love patd, but i must confess that i like his new stuff a whole lot better. This has a bit of nostalgic value, but it doesnt do much for me.

4. They Don’t Know About Us - One Direction OH FUCK NO. this is where you find out about my secret obsession with boyband music. Im a sucker for the cheesy cliche lyrics and the catchy tunes.

5. Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys  I mean, i have never met a person who doesn’t like AM, its a fantastic album, this is a fantastic single. im quite excited for their upcoming new stuff actually.

6. Surrender - Billy Talent Aaaaah, sweet youth. I do still kinda like their sound though, its just so unique and nostalgic (i have used this word too much already) (but billy talent though) (the song is not like their best, buts its all right)

7. Sin With A Grin - Shinedown TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT AGONYYY!! Okay, i LOVE shinedown, they are amazing. Like, this is definitely not their best song, but it just gets my PUMPED. Shinedown is just pure energy and the occasional fucking beautiful ballad. Someone did a Billy edit with It All Adds Up from them and it was glorious. It is very much a Billy-band. THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME OF WHYY I AM SICK INSIDE 

8. Spotify Commercial

8. I Wish You Would - Taylor Swift Ok, so im eternally conflicted about Taylor Swift as a person, but this album was good. It taps into my sappy pop heart. (is her new album any good? anyone? cuz i heard the album wasnt as bad as her singles, but i dunno? im not gonna listen to it probably, but i am curious)

9. Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide - Shinedown BLACK LIPS - PALE EYES - CYANICE SWEET TOOTH SUICIDE !! Everything that goes for Sin with a Grin, goes for this. It’s just.. it gets my hyped and its goood shit, this is from the same album actually, Sound of Madness (fucking phenomenal) (but also. their newer stuff man. its good)

10. Everybody Knows You Cried Last Night - The Fratellis Aaaaah, classic. Good song. Ive only ever listened to 3 songs by The Fratellies though. Theyre all good though, maybe i should listen to more.

Okay, i love this. I dont think anyone will care actually, but i love talking about music. Im very much a festival-person as well. Ive actually seen all of these artists live except for the guilty pleasures (1d and taytay). (i mean, its not guilty actually. i do love it) (this list of 10 songs could have been WAY more embarrassing tbh)

Thank you for listening. I love rambling about music. This is me trying my very best to keep in short actually :p