#exactly like i said the same thing
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#it's autism torment hours for cloud strife (featuring Projectionā¢ļø)#everybody just assumes the worst about cloud the moment they meet him.#i think all the time about the 'be nice!' -> 'i'm doing my best :(' thing from remake. like. all he did was answer a fucking question.#it burns because i know EXACTLY what it's like to be on the receiving end of that. 'don't be rude!' i wasn't planning on it but ok i guess?#and people getting mad because they assumed i meant something completely different than what i said.#how many times have i asked 'hey when are we leaving' (so i know when we're leaving. god forbid)#only for them to hear 'WAAA WAAAAAAA HURRY UP!!!!!!! I WANNA LEAVE RIGHT NOWWWWW UGGHHHHHH'#like ???????????#we're speaking the same language right??? RIGHT????????#cloud listen bby. just know that i'm always here for you. even if no one else got ur back.#ok i'm better now. at least until the next easily avoidable stupid misunderstanding#ffvii#cloud strife#my art <3
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Maybe i SHOULD draft out my āClark is a SuperPlantā propaganda post
#chattin#due to. recent tags that resonated w me#im already someone that loathes the ātheyre completely alien AND they conveniently look AND function exactly the same as a humanā trope#esp when they have the nerve to make them PROCREATE w humans wo any defects whatsoever#ur lying ur unimaginative u suck !!!!#so my compromise is always like#fine. the point is that they have to blend in very well. i will concede on that front#but god as my witness i will make him so fucked up internally.#u should xray him and see a fucking mess of organs pumping in bizarre places#things that let him see things w a microscopic lens#things that let him exist in a vacuum bc he doesnt need to Breathe#u should get him in a red sun room and realize hes still able to exist unharmed in a vacumm and go hey man. what the fuck .#going to reach max tags bc i never seem to behave myself no matter what im yelling about#i need bruce to sit down and finally read whatever kryptonian text is floating around#and realize clark- despite his mammalian appearance- is far more linked to plants than anything else#a plant w TEETH and EYES and somehow became a predator instead of staying as a plant#HOWWW did u evolve into what u are now? what did ur ancestors look like??? a daisy???#if u look at any kryptonian species youd see that all of them behave like clark- like they all evolved in a similar way#saw a post (i GOTTA find it again) that said that clark is brownskinned which seems a little silly when u compare it to human melanin#but that sunlight makes for a healthy kryptonian and their skin will show it#and paleskinned kryptonians are seeking out more sun and starving for it. like. ouuuu.#i wont add that to my own hcs but its that kinda shit i love sooo much#get so caught up on trying to make him human in ur eyes that u end up misunderstanding him entirely#love him#xenobio#for tagging
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"I've been around long enough to know.. you don't hire a saint to catch a sinner.. You bring me what I need, I'll pay you well and I won't ask no questions."
"So.. what is it you need?"
#I love that sometimes arthur needs things spelled out for him and just said as it is#instead of dancing around words#because same but also he just wants to get on with business and not sugarcoat things#something something saints and sinners and whatnot#and arthur's just like#so what do you want me to do exactly#I love him#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick gifs#arthur morgan#red dead redemption community#red dead redemption gifs#oh arthur
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some more comic panels I liked :>
#Hilda and twig: twig experiences a microaggression#hilda the series#Hilda and twig hide from the rain#this comic is lovely#it fleshes out twig and how he views his place in Hildaās life in a way that feels like a natural continuation (or prequel ig) to the show#thereās some little nods to the show too which is fun#man I didnāt realise how much Iād missed the comics#the show is AMAZING but thereās just something about the pen drawing style and colour palettes and comedic beats in the panels yknow#and despite luke making it to be more geared towards younger kids than the OG comics were#(I believe he said the idea came from seeing how his daughter struggled with the OG comics#and he wanted something that was more ābedtime storyā material)#but this feels exactly the same as the others#itās just things are arranged a little differently across pages for easy following. the panels are bigger and the story is smaller#i think itās sweet that the core feel and writing remained and itās just more accessible to younger kids now#anyway thatās my ramble lol#also I liked the robin that got given one (1) breadcrumb and pledged allegiance to hilda instantly#best character
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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This parallel makes me insane actually (and there is something incredibly Lawlu about it to me)
#One Piece#Monkey D. Luffy#Sanji#Trafalgar Law#Lawlu#something about Luffy saying almost the exact same thing that Corazon said to Law makes me so emotional actually#It's easy to think Corazon and Luffy would get along. they are both kindhearted goofy sweethearts#but it's more than JUST that#it's that deeper thing where they understand and carry the pain of the people they hold dear#And it's the fact that overhearing Corazon say this is pretty much what changed Law's life#To know that he is cared for and seen and someone wants the best for him#And then Law loses him#And then years later he aligns himself with Monkey D Luffy#Someone who has these echoes of Corazon in him#The echoes of the person he held so close to his heart#Like. It's no wonder Law is so compelled and mystified by Luffy in equal measure#I think if Law heard Luffy say this to Sanji he'd go insane#cause I know he's remember everything Cora said that night exactly#and it might tell him why he sought out and believed in Luffy against all odds and logic#(why he cares for him so much too. why Luffy's stubborn insistence on loving him without condition is so familiar)#I don't even know if these tags are making any sense but IM FEELING THINGS OK#donquixote rosinante#Corazon
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"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?
I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.
And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.
I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.
But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.
Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.
The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.
Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.
Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.
If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.
*: (edit) added for clarity.
**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.
#amc iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv season 2#Loumand#louis du pointe du lac#armand#interview with the vampire#IWTV#Many people are ranting about this but I'm throwing my hat in too#signed someone who went through csa and is close friends with many swers#long rant#noticing spelling errors in this after posting ffff#added note: I'm not saying armand and louis dynamic is without it's flaws or that louis was somehow without his exploitation and faults#while he was a pimp#as a pimp though he certainly wasn't going about it in the same way as what had happened in the brothel or with marius#I more so say that their very actions are of a healthier dynamic than that this is true even if they themselves are not exactly so#all for nuanced and messed up relationships that run everywhere in this show#But I still don't see it as that specific dynamic I wouldn't call it that there's just an amount of that dominence at play#neither want to be tethered to the roles they've been playing previously and they aren't entirely different for it but#are still arriving to this idea of needing something new to define themselves by and something they both want#they're exploring with this companionship that they're still trying to get a feel for#we as an audience might know they never do fully work their shit out and so are doomed but they don't at that point#last thing I guess is that I am not here to start shit it's fictional and not that serious 4 me 2 care enough 2 go after any1#not individually no#These are just my thoughts#I heavily caution using this idea of it being like the pimp 'jumped out' or whatever for reasons above#and its racist implications as others have said more bluntly (I've implied it)
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the fact that megumi was supposed to be the MC makes me giddy as hell. ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER GUYS
#in the context of jjk it feels like the main character and the protagonist are not exactly the same thing#yuuji is the main character who was stripped away of all the things that made him the protagonist#and all the things that made yuuji the protagonist were later given to megumi#megumi is the āchosen oneā the one in a million but all those things that normally would make the main character the protagonist#are out of megumiās control#the story is still about yuuji#the story could only take place BECAUSE of yuuji and yuuji's CHOICES thatās why heās the main character#yes kenjaku orchiestrated everything about yuuji's birth and role in life but yuuji is still the one who CHOSE to consume sukunaās finger#yuuji was still the one who CHOSE to#not include himself in the binding vow sukuna made him enter#those are two pivotal points in the story and yuuji was the one who made them#yuuji may not be āthe choosen oneā BUT THATS A GOOD THING#that means that even tho kenjaku orchestrated yuujiās role in life yuuji was and still is the one in charge of his own life and story#he even decided to postpone his own execution wondering āwhy the heck I have to be executedā#he gets to chose what heāll do next and NOT FATE#megumi is the one whoās āblessedā he inherited the most powerful zenin ct heās father was the catalyst that started it all#heās the one who was#the one in a million chance to be sukunaās vessels#and megumi didnāt have ANY say in that#because all this time megumi didnāt get to be in charge of his own life#gege really had the fate toy with him just like reggie said to him back then#megumi gets to be the protagonist (or more like have a role of the protagonist) because he let the āfateā dictate his life for him#(unless noooowww he decides to finally take the reins of his life and save himself from his fate)#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#Iām yapping I donāt even know if this makes sense I was caught in a moment skksskks
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talking to my brother about quicksilver and i was like 'ik him and wanda are twins but he exudes little brother energy so much' and my bro Without Hesitation just went 'well thats what happens when you're the least favorite in the family' and he says this to me, the youngest in our family like š§āāļø
#snap chats#i screamed honestly ajeLRKERAJ LIKE OH !! VIOLENCE youve decided violence tonight brother#AND HE'S NOT EVEN WRONG. my mom dont like me i know she dont she act like she do but fundamentally she thinks im gross#youngest of four thats me .... the beef between my mom and i is definitely more one sided but thats because i refuse to forgive but anyway#'snap is this just an excuse to vent about your mom' NO i just think its very funny ok let me laugh .....#pietro ive formed a kinship with you i fear. i too have the same exact face as the mfer i got beef with jvaeRLKVJAER#PLEASE i will make a comic about that at some point. i can finally project onto someone about this cause its the worst shit in the world#people tryna be nice or cute like 'aw you look exactly like X :)' like oh so you want me to die????? you hate me ???? you want me dead.#and you just gotta smile while thinkin Wow Wanna Say It Again I Dont Think I Was Psychically Damaged Enough The First Time#anyways i just thought that was the funniest thing cause my bro really didnt even think before sayin that... is that how he really feels ..#or did he just. forget i am the youngest ...w/e im ending it here before i start gettin petty ....#point is he Again accidentally said something incredibly funny and i was taken aback jvAWLKFJWRLKJA
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i know it was probably just beth slipping or whatever but trudy alpha saying her daughter's name was tiffany when we know it's tina has me now considering the idea of tucker regularly replacing not only his wife but also his daughter
#just like... a fun Generational Sexism thing#this doesn't exactly work becuase trudy's name is the same#BUT also their kids ARE homeschooled so if u replaced ur Kids then less people would probably clock it#that might be an INSANE thing to say#but like if my coworker had a daughter I was pretttyyy sure was named Tiffany but then they said her name was tina id be like yeah probably#dungeons and daddies#dndads#the peachyville horror
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WELLā¼ļø I DID IT FELLASā¼ļøTWo chapter!!! And things happen!!! Please do enjoy my second longest cohesive piece of text that I very much enjoyed putting together <3
Maybe the ugly duckling was never actually ugly, maybe the people around it just sucked. āā My own version of the Prime Bros universe ā a tumblr concept I'd love to thank @/000marie198 for deeply integrating into my belief system ā that is about the Shatterverse foxes (Nine, Sails, Mangey and Tails) getting to actually know each other and living together in Green Hill getting up to all kinds of shenanigans. Of course in this fic it will actually take some time to get to that with its own unterpretation on things, and a bunch of my headcannons thrown in. So for now it's just Nine trying to fit into a new and completely alien enviroment and dealing with one version of himself at a time
#sonic prime#prime bros#the same but different#well I said prime bros. theyre not exactly Bros you see#not yet anyway#waaaahh I actually did it it only took a year holy shit yea#now to just#make plot#like actuall things thats gonna happen#ye#lets FUCKING GOOOOOOO#also if anyone has like#specific tags they want me to put onto the fic I am more than open to suggestions because I CANNOT tag on ao3#miles nine prower#nine the fox#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#tails the fox#amy rose#knuckles the echidna#i would tag rouge too but shes only really. mentioned in one line#shes gonna be there a lot later once shadow shows up too#me when I finish writing#<- Not a Lie this time!!!!#apologies the tags are a mess Im just really happy rn :]
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ofc dazai is still alive. mf is like a roach that doesnāt die no matter how many times you stomp on himšš
#ARREGHHHH I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL DECEMBER FOR FYODOR DEATH SCENE#AND SKK REUNION#at least it will be an early christmas present š#also at least we didnāt get an anime only ending?? but things arenāt looking good for fyodor :(#manga and anime are playing out exactly the sameššš#also why is manga fyodor so mean he literally went āstfu and give me the antidote i donāt need ur praiseā and then snatched the antidoteš#waaaaa ouugghhhh exploding (just like fyodor next chp fr)#NIKOLAIā¦ WAS SO CUTIE PATOOTIE OMFGš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗthe dejected look he had when fyo said he wanted him deadš#I LOVE HIM :(((#I LOVE THEMšššššššš#HIS DEATH IS GOING TO HURT SO BAD#dazai ate too igš#bungou stray dogs
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Fe Aspec Week Day 2: Friendship
An indulgent piece for today!!!! :') It's no secret the trio's friendship has always had a really special place in my heart, and I've been grateful for the taste of acceptance and contentment it brought me during (and long after) I played the game. To see them find the most caring and complete friendship in each other was truly inspiring.
Here's to all of us finding the people that make us "never long for companionship throughout the rest of our days" <3
#fe aspec week#fe echoes#fe lukas#fe forsyth#fe python#*silver tree nursery monkey* and me āØ#fe really said 'what if we make extremely aspec coded characters and give them struggles with connecting to others#and then give them The Most Satisfying and (arguably) most memorable friendship of the game#they really have the most wonderful dynamic -- im never going to be tired of seeing art/fic of them together <3333#its chaos but its perfectly complimentary but theyre all opposites but theyre all exactly the same#this piece was HELL but it was WORTH IT LMAOOO#i almost chickened out of doing all the armor but im so glad i didnt.... im so so happy with how it came out ;---;#top ten things that heal my inner child (and by inner child i mean adult me using echoes to get myself through 2020 asdfsadf)#i made a comment about the missing yellow knight when i first played echoes while secretly adding that to my inserts design (since its my#favorite color :)) then a friend tagged one of my posts 'what if the secret yellow knight was us all along' and i was like YES! YES IT IS!!#so my little gift to myself today is that i get to post cringe š¤š¤š¤
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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Rivers Cuomo blog post [10/17/2005]:
The girl I was madly in love with when I was ten was at the show the other night. Itās weird for us to be talking again in our mid-thirties. The strands of continuity in my life surprise me. The same pain and pleasure of crushes have been with me my whole life, transferred from person to person and situation to situation.
I felt it again at Harvard last year. The same unutterable anguish at not being able to have the dark-haired beauty that I wanted. The same feeling in the pit of my stomach as she smiled and said sweetly, āI just like you as a friend.ā
Have I grown up at all from age ten to age thirty-five, from the first early crushes to the latest one?
I think this last time, maybe, I had a breakthrough. I faced my craving in all its terribleness. I didnāt block it out of my mind. I just felt the pain, day after day, for months on end until slowly it passed away. I think the next time I have a crush, if there is a next time, it wonāt be so bad.
I can finally say good-bye to the girl I loved when I was ten. I can finally move towards something less about pleasure and pain.
#rivers cuomo#weezer#dang#crushes#same bro. same.#UPDATE LIKE THREE DAYS AFTER POSTING THIS: I can't believe i had the same thing happen to me today#not even kidding when i say my highschool crush of 3 yrs came to my job.#he looks exactly the same and it's awful. also i know he's a dbag.#he said 'yeah I'm single now so '.... and i just stood there like š«¤k.#oooooo 16 yr old me would've DIED. but 26 yr old me?! HECK NO. He's still immature and so cringe#me#personal
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we dont have enough fanart and fanfics about sauron in numenor. im begging for scraps im manifesting im sending signals to the universe
#angbang#mairon at the edge of his grief. going insane the whole religion temple human sacrificies prophet thing for his dead master#i need him on his knees in front of a huge melkor sculpture DESPERATE like a dog searching for his owner after they are gone#like normally in first age its different but when melkor isgone and after everything that happens#i need him at his most pathetic.like hes doing all that and hes cunning hes powerful his mind is still sharp but sharpness goes into insani#and inside he is absolutely torn and in pieces and everything he was suppressing and running away from catches up with him#and then cue fall of numenor#but like. i need a really good psychosexual fic with grief. i really am manifesting. my prayers will go to the universe#and one day a writer on ao3 will go into some kind of trance to create exactly that and better i believe it#and on fanart wise. 1. mairon kissing melkor sculpture with tears. 2. mairon on his knees in front of the sculpture#perhaps forehead to the floor too full on worship style#for extra i would not say no to a h*rny psychosexual grieving fic where mairon does some stuff with the sculpture#you know the kind of fic that makes you miserable and turned on at the same time#anyway. another post to delete later#&#no one will read this but im open to any recs too like send me links fanart fanfic it doesnt have to be like what i said#i just need sauron in numenor i am starving
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