#ex-lutheran

[thatstormygeek]

Within the last couple of months, for the first time in my life, I started to consciously think that maybe I actually kind of deserve to just...exist? Like, I don't have to earn my life - it's okay to just live. Not going out there hurting anyone. Just taking care of my pets and my family and having my little life.

Of course, in that time, I've also had the cops called to my house for a "wellness check" and had my water shut off without notice or warning. So it kinda feels like the world is disagreeing.

[imlocalatbest]

my newest linocut

18x24

[squeesquoo]

Whoops 😬

[am-i-a-boy-or-a-crybaby]

Iscariot

6

I am sitting behind you in the church and you are the coolest person I know. I watch you sit perfectly still as I fidget with the hem of my dress; it doesn’t fall low enough. I wish I was like you, the model grandson, in the pews dressed in your nice shirt and pants. I like it when we are told we could be twins, even though I know it’s not true. We’re pen pals, but I dream about moving closer because we are the best of friends.

12

I am sitting in front of you. You look me in the eyes and say the one thing I wish you wouldn’t. One sentence leaves your mouth and I start to grab at my jeans, they’re too tight, they are beginning to hug my body in a way that I’m supposed to like. I am angry beyond words, so I don’t say anything. I just stare at you as you walk away. I don’t understand how you can be so heartless when all I’ve ever wanted was to be like you. I no longer want anything to do with you.

18

He’s dead. We sit next to each other during the service, a silent olive branch. I fidget with the cuff of my suit jacket as you stay a still as possible. I feel oddly comfortable sitting in the pews despite the circumstances, but it’s as though if you move everyone will see that you are more like me than you know. We haven’t spoken in six years, I doubt we will for at least a couple more. Neither of us let go of more than a tear or two, we are men after all.

-grayson h

[f4rfields]

i love watching tradcath convert dorks scream and cry and throw up about basic-ass concepts in catholicism bc it's always just like. so funny.

why do you go to the tradition and authority-based form of christianity bc you want more tradition and hierarchy and then lose your mind over the tradition and hierarchy being too traditional and hierarchical for you? you signed up for this, dude!!!

[illnessfaker]

is it contentious to say that people need to rid themselves of the idea that christianity is a white, western religion. genuine question.

[trekwanderer]

My mother is trying to guilt me into going to my sister's confirmation at the old church I used to attend. I'm having so much anxiety over this. I refuse to go, I will never set foot in that church again. I have so much trauma and anxiety. I told her to respect me and my feelings. Honestly terrified of her response, why am I still so scared of her?? I'm 29 for fucks sake.

[hiddenbysuccubi]

It can be calming but I've rectified this by knowing the Wiccan Rede and by finding a Wiccan replacement for the Lord's Prayer that I grew up with. Goddess hold me in your arms tonight, Keep me safe until morning light, And if one more thing that I may pray, Please keep me safe throughout the day. (optional) Under the Maiden, Mother, Crone By the power of 3x3, An ye harme none so mote it be. It's been remarkably simple and useful in replacing the "our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is heaven" bit that I was made to kneel and recite at bedtime as a child.

Knowing the Lord's Prayer and the Hail Mary has so far in life been so useful in so many unexpected ways

[asordidbarwere]

showed my dad my angel hare fanart (because i'm proud of how it turned out/he likes to see my art) and now i'm afraid he thinks i've become a christian

[bug-juices]

Why do I have Quran posts all over my tumblr dash I’ve been reblogging sad gay people and like softcore porn

Not hating just wondering what algorithm decided I was the target audience

[cosmic-walkers]

The show is basically telling us that Henry is already disillusioned with Thomas, he already sees no use for him anymore. He has slowly been distancing himself from Thomas, and leaving Thomas at the mercy of the other nobles because he himself, is starting to dislike Thomas. The comment about making Thomas and his family rulers of England, put Thomas in an extremely hot spot with the other nobles and Henry knew that, and he didn't come to protect him or explain what he meant. The Pole business has been one of the main factors running the relationship between Thomas and Henry.

However, it also has to do with outside factors as well. Obviously, there are people - like Stephen whispering into Henry's ear about Thomas, and that is putting Thomas in the hot seat.

But then it is, as Wolsey said - when Henry fucks up, who is going to be blamed? Thomas.

Henry realizes that his empire is crumbling by his own hand, but he is putting it on Thomas. At this point, France is an enemy to England, and historically, the pope has given any Catholic nation the right to invade England. Henry has been declared an enemy of the Church, and despite him breaking away from Rome, excommunication terrifies him; being seen as an enemy of Catholicism terrifies him, and it has happened.

And then, there is the pilgrimage of grace; the show pretty much brushed over this. But over 20,000 people were in open revolt against Henry due to the reformation, the destruction of the monasteries, the changing religion, etc. Henry's own country is turning against him, other monarchs and nations are turning against him, France - whom is envious of, is possibly going to invade him. And in his mind- it is Thomas' fault. thomas talked him into the reformation, Thomas guided his hand, it was Thomas who passed laws and legislations; it is Thomas's fault. Even tho in reality, Henry wanted him to do all of those things. Henry praised him for it, for the money it gave him, for the power he felt he had to change the religion, etc.

It's Henry's fault, but to Henry it's Tom's fault, and he'll make everyone know. So add all of that to Henry's mind, and then here comes Stephen, the ex-situationship, who is not only visicous, but is determined to make Thomas feel the same way he did before he was sent to France, but WORSE. He is on his own revenge quest against Thomas, and he is not just here to shame Thomas, he is here to kill Thomas. That is the creepy part, he literally wants Thomas dead.

Thomas's LAST chance, is the marriage. Thomas has already lost value in Henry's eyes, he is already looking for and has found a replacement for Thomas in his mind, he doesn't need Thomas any more, and what is worse is that Thomas is a liability. SO yeah, while I initially believed their relationship fell apart when he lost his temper at him, it fell apart away before.

And oh yeah Henry hates Lutherans LOL keep that in mind

[winged-thinged]

Intro Post

This is a space for me to process complicated ex-Catholic feelings. Polite discussion is welcome, debate is not. Me talking about my trauma is not an invitation for you to come in and try to change my mind.

A little bit about me: I was raised Roman Catholic with strong fundamentalist influences, of the Hillsong and the trad cath AND the doomsday variety. I got my BA in theology from a Catholic liberal arts school with an emphasis on queer theology, spent some time in the Lutheran and UU spaces, and am now something like an atheistic pagan or a religious naturalist. I'm also nonbinary transmasc, aro-grayace and queer. This blog is for unpacking my experiences and the harm that my Christian upbringing did to me, both as a queer person and otherwise.

I do not need saving, because I am a good thing just the way I am.

Welcome and be well! You deserve to be treated kindly, because you are a good thing, too.

[kom-poetry-channel]

This triumphalist shout of anticipated Puritan victory - by literal deus ex machina - sure looks like it ought to stem from the English Civil War, and is sometimes claimed to do so indeed, but the earliest written source I can track down is a Shaker hymnal published in 1813, "Millennial Praises". The "rod of iron" seems to me a little bloodthirsty for the pacifist Shakers, so I prefer to headcanon that it was a survival from the songs the Roundhead pikemen sang as they marched on Oxford to make at least one king and his nobles lament, "Alas! Alas!"

Comments on the text:

"da freden kom" - I don't really understand the English "full release" here, it seems likely to refer to some theological concept well known two (or four) hundred years ago. I chose to ignore it completely and tie this line and the third thematically together on "peace".

"fredsfyrstens vide rike" - again "Shiloh" is rather difficult; in modern American usage the main association is probably the church named Shiloh, site of an important Civil War battle. The Bible speaks several times of a city called Shiloh, now "Kirbet Seilun", but as a metaphor, "our Shiloh", it seems rather to be speaking of Genesis 49:10, in the KJV "The sceptre shall not depart from Judah, nor a lawgiver from between his feet, until Shiloh come" - which seems to refer to a person, not a city. The NIV translates the term as "he to whom it belongs"; various Norwegian translations have "den rette kongen", "han som eier den", and "fredsfyrsten". I chose the last of these for the connection with "freden kom" in the first line. Many Christian traditions identify Shiloh-the-person with Jesus, and I have an impression that Norwegian Lutheranism puts more emphasis on Jesus as prince of peace, as opposed to saviour of the soul, than English praxis does.

"lamslått vorden" - this is perhaps not strictly grammatical, as the merchants are plural it should be "vordne", but I'm willing to cheat very slightly for the rhyme with "torden". There are not very many rhymes for torden in Norwegian.

"prest og verdslig, rik og arm" - I had to rearrange this verse to rhyme "arm" with "alarm" and "som nå skjer" with "reiser seg ei mer", but I'm rather pleased with the phrasing.

"blod og jern" - if anything this is even more bloodthirsty than the "rod of iron", but it seems to fit.

"ut av hennes drakt" - the image here is "The Babylonian Marriage Market", by Edwin Long, depicting Herodotus's allegation that the Babylonians auctioned off young women for marriage. It's not clear to me whether the woman on stage is about to be fully unveiled, stepping out of Babel's garments as it were, but either way the Puritans would surely reject the whole scene as one of the evil customs that will end with the Second Coming.

Norwegian text: Hill den dag så lenge ventet Hill det år da freden kom: Zions mur fra Himlen hentet Zions vakt gir råd og dom. I fredsfyrstens vide rike hør trompeten hvor den ler: Babylon er fallen! Er fallen! Er fallen! Babylon er fallen, og reiser seg ei mer!

Hennes kjøpmenn, lamslått vorden, prest og verdslig, rik og arm, mumler som den fjerne torden, roper ut: "Alarm! Alarm!" Og fra keiser, konge, adel: "Hva er dette som nå skjer?" Babylon er fallen! Er fallen! Er fallen! Babylon er fallen, og reiser seg ei mer!

Blås, trompet, fra Zions mure: Kristus kommer hit på ny! I blod og jern han grundig skure de som fiendskap ham by. Babels felleskap er over, ut av hennes drakt vi trer: Babylon er fallen! Er fallen! Er fallen! Babylon er fallen, og reiser seg ei mer!

[jasper-borealis]

traumatized Ex-litergical Lutheran here.

you don’t need to read this, I adore your work, just feeling a lot of emotions so here’s my thoughts

cw. Religions trauma, self harm, general mental illness.

your comics bring out a lot of…mixed feelings sometimes. On the one hand, I adore religious history, the occult aspects of faiths, and how every religion influences aspects of each other. Your art brings a fun and fresh take on a lot of it, and I really really enjoy it!

Now as much as I love religious art, for example I collect rosaries and have a orthodox icon on my gallery wall, and I still sing some of the hymns of my youth, I am well and truly done with anything to do with the version of Christianity I grew up with. I was dashed against the rock of ages, I was burned and scared by the flames of Pentecost, I was choked with the sacred wine. I went to a progressive Lutheran church and sang in their choir as a part of an activity with my community choir I’m a part of last Sunday (long story) and that was…one of the hardest things I’ve done in awhile. hearing the same hymns, following the same liturgical practices and structure, hearing the same confessions and creeds, well and truly felt like I was back in the furnace…

but this time, the furnace was colder, more subtle, instead of pouring the molten lead down my throat as I screamed for forgiveness, the words of the priests where more like a slow heat, still striking the same points, but more gentle…

and I fucking hate that in that moment as I listens to those confessions, and those words…I felt that calling again. like the slow claws of a abuser slowly rubbing your shoulders as they tell you they will treat you better…but, even if they did…I still am burned, my wings and well and throughly shredded and cut, I will never be able to fly across the jordan to that place of peace…not only did the church I grow up in ground me, but I myself ripped out my own feathers and screamed out for God to strike me down. I would daily beat myself, fantasizing in vivid details all the punishments I would face once I met the reaper…all the torture, pain, and screams…it honestly became a fucking…like, fetish. I would just focus on what I was going to get when I died, how I would be counted as one of the goats at the final days.

So that’s why I honestly am kind of…jealous of queer Christians. I wish I could have the comfort, the rites, the community you all have…I still crave it myself.

Maybe one day I will be able to move on from the scars The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod carved into my flesh, if some aspect of worship of the Devine is a part of that? I’m open to it…but not right now.

TLDR your art is amazing, and brings me comfort knowing that there are queer Christians who have been able to carve a path for themselves…but that is not a path I am on at this moment. Maybe one day, but not right now.

I’ve gotten a lot of messages from people about how my comics have affected how they view themselves and their sexuality, but ngl, I always wondered if they ever affected someone religiously.

Like finding a closer connection to God, realizing Christianity isn’t for them, following another religion, etc.

[luckdovica]

you reblogged a couple posts from me (torture basement and insane in the pussy) and tagged them with your oc's tag and now i'm very curious about your oc. can you tell me about martta

i LOVE getting oc questions

Nicotine addicted lutheran priest whose job as an exorcist failed so bad she lost her own body and is now seling drugs to suburban mothers in order to get plastc surgery to look like her original self. Explosive relationship with an aspiring journalist (who has been aspiring for her whole adult life and teens too. maybe try something else?) they have broken up around seventeen times and martta is always the one begging her to take her back. Her other ex became a nun. Originally from Kemi, Finland but moved to Some shitty state, I'm taking suggestions, USA and cannot get out because her passport looks nothing like her new body. Ex-goth. Gun owner.

I created Martta because I was so tired of 99% of fandom favorite losers being men. What if a woman sucked (and also got to fuck other women)? Look no further

[moonssugar]

im actually very pretentious about fantasy religions if ur gonna make a fantasy christianity please combine aspects of existing groups and get weird and sexy and insane wit it and please make up your own shit that has never existed and could theoretically but also dont mix up things that are theologically inconsistent or call x group another when theyre clearly closer to y group bc i will know and i will not be pleased that you didnt do basic wikipedia research. you dont have to exaggerate the bad things churches do the real life horrors are way more compelling to explore and need to see the light of day. if i see you taking obvious insp from one denomination and putting it on another with no consideration with how they actually work im suing you for medical damage. cant tell anyone how churches differ theologically? go back to square one. there are no marian statues in a baptist church. no anglicans are not the same church as the catholic one. yes lutherans and methodists are different. no orthodoxy and catholicism arent the same. no most protestant churches dont have priests. no you dont have to copy and paste the cultish aspects of mormonism into your mainline protestant or evangelical church i promise you its already weird enough you just need to look deeper. but please do go apeshit on mormonism though. they all have specific psychological effects and theyre not the same effects literally ask the people that left. the flavors of trauma will differ ex christians are like baskin robins ice cream. and finally if youre critiquing a religion and your critique isnt vague enough to apply to all of it — get specific. dont just throw spaghetti at the wall, talk your shit but talk it well. i should know exactly what bitch youre talking about so dont be afraid to name drop. much to be said about fantasy christian based cults in media but thats another post