#ex friendships

[schuylerpeck]

we were going to be gray-haired and wrinkled together; houses-a-few-streets-away, corner-bar-that-knows-us-by-name, best friends for life. 

in the days before I moved out of state and across the country, I re-wrote and deleted a text to you over and over; wondering if it was common decency to let you know I was thinking about/was going to/left. I didn’t. even now, from 2,000 miles away, I still wonder if one day we’ll cross each other on the street—if our first instinct will be bared teeth or remorse. 

what would I say to you, now that years have passed and have carried my anger with it? I don’t think I want to know why you did what you did. I don’t think there is any going back. instead, I’d ask if you remember the night we drank enough that Ratatouille became a horror movie. that time I bussed across the city to your house, through a monsoon and the beginning of a divorce, the Snapchats I’d sent singing Black Eyed Peas at empty bus stops to keep myself from crying. how long you hugged me when I arrived. the afternoons walking through the mall long enough to round back to the chocolate store for another free sample. how many different shades your hair has taken since we met—if I can still name the reason each time you reached for a bottle of hair dye. when we all snuck into your boyfriend’s work and played beer pong after hours and your mother cheered you on harder than she had for high school sports. I’d tell you I often revisit those videos the night we did mushrooms and hearing our voices still make me laugh. I’d ask when did you get over your fear of horses. who holds you now. if you’re doing better.

maybe, just a little bit, I’d still want to know why. 

this isn’t the first time I’ve realized, after the wisdom of a few years, that under the catty lines and thrown insults and inventing new ways to block the other out, is the grief of losing what was believed to be forever. eviction from a home we made in the other. I’m comfortable enough now to know that I can miss you and still be grateful we’ve moved forward without each other; that I can be hurt and still wish you the best. 

I think that’s it. whatever sidewalk, whatever town, whatever likelihood I’d ever see you again: I’m not sure about forgiveness, but I wish you the best.

[floralcavern]

It’s always weird when you have an ex friend who you left on bad terms with, but you still care about them. I still occasionally, rarely, check her socials, just to make sure she’s doing ok. Sometimes, I remember the most random things about her. “I wonder if she’d be awake rn… no, it’s 12:00 am for her. She always goes to bed around 10-11 because she takes sleeping meds at 9.”

And then I’m like “Why tf do I remember that????”

[leoisbabygirl]

"And what hurts the most is people can go from people you know to people you don't."

~ Selena Gomez

[hopelessvalentines]

“you’re my best friend, now i’ve got no one to tell i’ve lost my best friend.”

….

[nouverx]

*proceeds to drink the whole bottle*

Yeah Alastor you're gonna be loved and appreciated wether you want it or not :)

[pollopom]

I know Dorothy was probably already married to Alex given the timeline, but I want to believe Megatron got to attend her wedding and they got him a big ass bowtie to wear and took pictures with him PLEASE I NEED THIS

[wttcsms]

i've been thinking about iconic it girl reader who's only ever been known to have one boyfriend — a professional athlete. your relationship with each other was everyone's idea of couple goals, and the breakup that followed was quoted to be "amicable" and that the two of "came to an agreement that you were better off as friends" geez, did your PR teams have to word it like your relationship was all just some fucking contract? relax on the business professional tone. it's almost like they're not describing the best two years of your life.

now, a year later after the breakup that almost caused your break down, you're back and better than ever. you're about to launch your own beauty brand, you're gracing the cover of vogue, and you're protecting your peace by only focusing on yourself, your career, and your girlfriends. you don't date, and you especially don't date athletes. as a matter of fact, you actively avoid all of them like they carry the fucking plague. but when your publicist gives you a deal that you can't refuse (no, literally — it's a deal you can't refuse. read your contracts closely, kiddos), you find yourself thrust into a fake relationship with character. he reminds you of your ex for all the wrong reason; they play the same sport, they have similar attitudes, the same work ethic, the same drive and passion for the sport (and only for the sport...). but there's something different about him, too. he's... not as charismatic. he's kind of goofy, honestly, but he's cute enough to where it works in his favor. he's devoted to his sport, and yet, he finds the time to call his mom every week and despite the fact that this relationship is nothing more than a publicity stunt, he's surprisingly attentive to you, too...

but you've kept yourself and your heart safe by drawing a clear boundary. would you be willing to risk everything you've built up just to create something real with character? especially whenever your ex comes back into town, reopening old wounds and reminding you why you created these boundaries in the first place?

[artofdyingslowly]

ex best friends are just. i will never love anyone the way i loved you. you hurt me so much in a way only you could. i still think about you on your birthday and wish i could be there celebrating with you. i hate that things ended the way they did. i don’t think anyone will ever understand me like you did. i miss our inside jokes. i’ll never forget you and i wish all of the dreams we talked about come true for you. i hope i never hear anything about it. i miss you. i never want to see you again.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[goopcatz]

[uncle reigen au] them after they beat the shit out of each other

[felsicveins]

His heart belongs to another

And no other heart will do

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Valentines Day | The Eras Tour

[leoisbabygirl]

Damn. I was really hoping to apologize to my ex friends. But they blocked me. Oh well, doesn't hurt me much. Don't let the door hit ya on the way out 😐✌🏽

[stuckinapril]

used to daydream about fairytale reconciliations after pretty much every platonic or romantic fallout i ever had, but sometimes it’s healthier to just accept that someone will never own up bc they don’t think you’re worth the trouble. anyone who truly cares would move mountains just to make sure that they communicate w you if they truly want to rectify the situation. but sometimes it’s their ego getting in the way, sometimes they have a narrative of you in their head they’re determined not to break, and sometimes they just don’t care enough about you to even consider it. they don’t have respect for the friendship or relationship in its posthumous state bc it was nothing to them, or at the very least it doesn’t eclipse their pride or their desire to appear correct in a situation or just outright the need to be done w the situation rather than be a good person. still guilty of this but i’ve been getting better at just nipping the delusion in the bud and just being okay w accepting that someone truly does not care. until they prove they do that is the assumption i go w every time. and it is saving me a lot of heartache

[thelilylav]

Ok but like imagine this: you're best friends with the straightest girl in the world. She makes jokes about you being more fun and amazing than any prince. You make jokes about her naming her firstborn after you. You're destined to lose her. One day your whole world will be gone, all your friends and family, and it will just be you and some stranger who came to rescue you because it was written down. It's all any of you have ever known. You will marry a boy born a century after you. But you see the way she smiles when you guys talk about your future, so you keep it down. It's what your parents expect, what your friends want, what the world is telling you is the right thing to do. You swallow down the apprehension and fear and eventually it becomes so easy it's second nature.

Then something changes. A girl says this isn't how things have to be. Maybe this isn't even how things are supposed to be. And you're angry, because you've been playing this stupid part your whole life and it's as bad as hers, so why can't she just fall in line? Can't she see the pain she's causing everyone (the pain she's causing your best friend)?

You try to make things right. You tell people that the girl is wrong, that things aren't meant to change, that everything is fine. You do everything you can to make your best friend feel better, you push down your own thoughts on the situation because they're not what's important right now. Your opinion has always waited in second, it clearly can now too, right?

Right?

But you can't stop thinking about that day. The sound of the page tearing. At the time it sounded like something horrible, like something disgusting and forbidden and scary. But you keep going back to it. You keep thinking of what would happen if you did the same. If you didn't have to leave your friends behind. If the terrible future you'd resigned yourself to your whole life wasn't as inevitable as it once seemed. The sound of the tearing page begins to sound like freedom.

Your best friend doesn't get it. She thinks you're being selfish and erratic and crazy. You push each other away. Of course she didn't understand. She never thought about things like that. Never thought about you like that.

Things keep changing. More people say they haven't been happy with the way things are. Your other best friend says she's in love with a boy she's not supposed to be in love with, and you start to realise that things are more broken than they seemed.

You go to Wonderland. You made a mistake, a big one, but you're trying to fix it. Things are still awkward between you and your best friend. She still thinks you're wrong. But she accepts that she can't change your mind, and you guys are beginning to admit that, even though things can't go back to how they were, maybe you can still have a future together. Maybe you don't have to lose her after all.

[undercotton-andcalicoes]

leaving long term friendships behind is so strange. like. i know your favorite flower and how you like your soda and the exact shape of your face and your coffee order. they’re all etched into the folds of my brain. but we haven’t spoken since june. and i don’t even know what your hair looks like now.