#everything is badly explained
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I've been reading through your descent into Good Omens and I am CACKLING
Welcome to the fandom and I'm sorry but there is no exit
thank you i have realised that but it will NOT STOP ME FROM MAKING AN ESCAPE ATTEMPT INTO DOCTOR WHO wait that's probably worse
#good omens#good omens mascot#good omens fandom#lgbtqia#neil gaiman#good omens prophet#doctor who#doctor who fandom#everything is badly explained#biggest dumbass on tumblr#me guys that's me#but i've been assured that you love me
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It's my OCs' first birthday today, yippie!! They're enjoying their birthday with some tiny company and a horribly baked cake. But it's the thought that counts!
These are Pai, Aurelio, and Lizzie. They are a couple and run a diner together in the low suburbs of Halcandra. Their shop also serves as a safe space and shelter for other Star Borns just like them.
They also tend to take in the more little ones of their kind, soon after they've first formed. They look after them and teach them stuff, before letting them go to live independently. But they're always welcome back in their house! Be it for shelter, or a nice cup of coffee.
More about them under the cut. Be warned it gets kinda long.
Pai's ability is Cook. When he was little, he used to use his ability to make food to share with his whole neighborhood as a way of uniting everyone.
Since then he's been steadily building towards a goal, to open his very own Diner. He wanted to create a space for his community to thrive in, though he was severely disadvantaged in such a large city.
He's not one to give up and he always looks on the positive side of things. He tends to spoil the kids they look after with treats, and has a hard time saying no, so he often takes on more than he can handle.
He is the one that looks after the well-being of the kids, and generally, things that require a bit more... Tact. He looks after them when they're sick or injured, which is how he ends up meeting future GSA founders Arthur, Erebus, and Anansi.
Aurelio grew up in a scrapyard with 6 others of their kind, being kept there as guard dogs for the paranoid old man who owned the place. They were encouraged to fight each other for fun, which is how they got the scar across their face.
When they got too big and troublesome, most of them were kicked out of their home and left to fend for themselves.
Aurelio's Spear ability eventually landed them a job as a Knight for Halcandra's elites, where they worked alongside a few of their friends. Their job was to guard the meeting room and defend their assignment from threats.
A few years into this job, they and other soldiers were given a mission. A pair of dragons were nesting at the bottom of the Haldera Volcano, they had to get them out. Dragons are calm if not provoked, so relocation shouldn't be difficult...
As it turns out, the dragons were a mated pair. A male and a female, and they were viciously protecting their egg clutch.
In the battle against the dragons, Aurelio was injured and burned by fire, but their natural fire immunity allowed them to be one of the few survivors. Nevertheless, the Knights were successful in their mission and managed to drive the dragons out.
The 4 eggs that weren't crushed during the battle were passed off to the Ancients for research. They became the Guardian Angel Landia later on.
She was forced to retire from Knighthood at age 31. Due to the lasting effects of their injuries, Aurelio is the one who spends most of the time with the children. For better and for worse.
Because of their childhood, they have very skewed ideas of how to treat children. She'll often put them in dangerous situations unintentionally since she has no frame of reference to tell her that taking kids out to the Gator Pond isn't a very good idea.
Aurelio teaches the rougher life lessons. They've been through quite a bit, so they want the kids to learn how to defend themselves, and to be careful and not have others take advantage of them.
She does most of the disciplining and the one that gives timeouts and other such punishments. She is of the opinion that sometimes rough love is necessary to set someone straight. She's calm and loving, but a bit stuck in the old way of doing things.
Lizzie, real name Angeliz, is a 2-time college dropout who grew up upper class despite her species' disadvantage. She never had many friends growing up, since other kids didn't really like her, and resigned herself to being what her parents wanted her to be.
She tried to study medicine but quit after 2 years. Not wanting to further disappoint her parents, she went into law. Which she also hated but tried to commit to finishing despite how miserable it made her.
Meeting Pai and Aurelio helped her get through the year, but after Aurelio was injured, she quit law and started living with them. She helped Pai balance his business with taking care of Aurelio and eventually used some of the money she still had left to give Pai's Diner the little push forward it needed.
Despite the many etiquette classes she took as a child, Lizzie completely lacks social skills. She's a total disaster, especially when talking to someone she likes. Once she gets comfortable, her true personality starts to shine through.
She's a huge slob and kind of vulgar despite her cute appearance. She's easily angered and does not like to be teased, which makes putting up with bratty kids more difficult for her.
She tends to treat kids as little adults instead, which causes her to not be very mindful of their sensitivities. Even when in a good mood, trying to do her best, she always ends up saying the wrong thing and makes everything worse.
She handles the business aspect of their Diner, crunching numbers and reading over legal documents. She's really smart and knowledgeable, so she's the one who tends to teach kids reading, writing, and math.
Her ability is Bubble. She never used to like it, it was silly and useless to her, so she kept it hidden for years. After meeting her partners and becoming happy, she's started blowing bubbles more frequently. The kids love them.
#kirby#kirby series#kirby oc#oc: lizzie#oc: pai#oc: aurelio#polyorbs#that's just what i call them#their “ship name”#oc: erebus#oc: anansi#god I'm too ashamed to tag him#my art#arthur#<- just what i'll use for now#ANYWAY OC POSTING YAYYY I can't be normal about my ocs#so i yapped for way too long. including on these tags#and even then i still didn't manage to explain everything. or even specify how they met and got together and stuff#i tried my best to keep it brief and failed#i don't want to talk about how badly i fucked up that second drawing oh my godddd#i forgot to size up my sketch... I didn't even notice until i was doing the dialogue and i was like ew why does it look like that#So i apologize for both how tiny it is and its slight crustiness#couple of fun facts. lizzie wears glasses. though right now she wears contacts#she also has a scar on her left foot. and a big heart on her belly and one on her butt#her design is like. a care bear. but if it had the personality of a 52 year old dad#aurelio's injuries are on their arms and back. they put their arms up to protect their face after they lost their helmet#but the dragon crushed their arm plates. when they tried to retreat it slashed at their back#i unfortunately didn't get to finish aurelio's knight design in time. so you'll have to wait to see that
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like it feels obvious on doctor who. the show who’s main gimmick is that the guy running around goes only by a title they gave themself and whose identity revolves around a dialogue with that title, constructing it, interrogating it, redefining it, endlessly as a part of their journey. it feels obvious to say that you absolutely cannot on this show give something an incredibly symbolic name and then Not say anything about that.
so why does kerblam spend the latter half of its runtime emphasizing The Foundation, right. the foundation is where power gets stored when it goes out everywhere else. the foundation is where workers are being killed and melted down into goop. the foundation is so old that the original plans of the building on paper are needed to understand it. The System is in The Foundation before it is anywhere else.
and then that. doesn’t matter. we aren’t going to use this to say anything. in fact, we’re going to assert that the system is so Fine, Actually that filling the foundational level of it with ten million bombs doesn’t even do any lasting damage to it. and hey, hey. remember when the system decided that the Correct option was to kill an innocent person uninvolved in all of this because she happened to be someone that charlie liked. remember when it lured her down into the foundational level to fucking murder her. yeah, that was justified of it actually, the blood on its hands is worth the point it was making.
how do you build the perfect set-up for the most obvious critique: Space Amazon Is Built On Bad Foundations That Lead It To Hurting The Workers And Customers In The Long Run. and then stumble ass backwards into uhhhhhh no actually it was this one guy. with bombs. and also his bombs are so ineffective and meaningless that blowing them up in the center of the facility did Nothing. he is both an unimaginable threat and also powerless. please take our doctor who episode about how good space amazon is very seriously.
#HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THIS BADLY. YOU GAVE IT AN OBVIOUS SYMBOLISM NAME AND EVERYTHING.#THIS IS DOCTOR WHO. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE SUBTLE. HER NAME IS THE DOCTOR AND SHE ENDS 90% OF EPISODES EXPLAINING THE MORAL TO US.#which is not to say dw isnt subtle when it wants to be but also that it really#REALLY. does not have to be. often isnt. because it is cheesy scifi that wants to make its points as loudly as possible.#doctor who#kerblam!
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You ever just see people talk about the Percy Jackson books and know somewhere, deep in your heart, that none of these people have understood that this is a series made for middle schoolers. And that fandom will very frequently lie to them like, all the time. No, that character probably isn’t ooc, you’re just thinking of what the fandom turned them into. No, this book isn’t a horrible stain next to the others before it, literally all of them were like this. It’s Percy Jackson. It’s cheesy and occasionally makes a very questionable writing decision.
You gotta be in this for the long haul or jump ship my guys. Be cringe and free or be gone
#percy jackson#tsats#solangelo book#rick riordan#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#the sun and the star#text post#yall are astounding me in ways i didnt know was possible god bless#also this was mostly written by mark not rick. like yes he signed off on it but still this is mostly mark#but its still Fine??? its fine?????? besties a book abt our favorite gays not being perfect is not the end of the world#did i cringe? hell yes. but was i free? tremendously. and i had a lot of fun i think#'bianca is in elysium but she was reincarnated??' yeah thats odd. anyway that scene was cute wasnt it#'everything is so on the nose' yeah its for middle schoolers and percy jackson isnt known for subtlety. its very rare#'will was ooc' weve literally barely gotten anything on him and no povs until now this IS establishing his character#'the puffs remove nicos whole trauma' no it doesnt. its a fantasy way to sort of explain that nicos trauma is now open instead of repressed#do i wish it wasnt sometimes explained as 'now the trauma is gone'? yes. but i think its moreso meant to be a way of nico dealing with them#he still HAS that trauma fellas. hes still going to be living with it. its just gonna be easier now. thats part of healing besties#also we dont know how these puffs are gonna act in the future so like. hush. shhhhhhhhhh. shut. it was literally never going to be perfect#its pjo. i love this series to death but. its pjo. it is. in fact. sometimes badly written. as it has been many times before in books before#and what else??????? it may not be written the greatest but its MY series that isnt written the greatest square up
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i love my bitch wife 🩵 somebody make an edit of soundwave to BRAT.. and my LIFE. is YOURS!!!!!
#the way it looks like hes wearing thigh highs or smthing like im obsessed with him#he thinks hes so cool that he just Has to try Everything himself#barely even waited for thunderhowl to finish his sentence. he heard door & said im outta here#and then got extremely pissed that this stupid fancy door would not bear under HIS superior weight#that he has to quell back the embarrassment of skipping the instructions then being lost & a fool about it#by attempting to retain his superiority & semblance of power by ordering someone else to do it only bcs he couldnt#but hes not gonna say that. hes just gonna order u to do smthing then be upset if u dont and maybe even more upset if u did#i miss him so much my brat king pls come back soundwave the kids miss u#him trying to open the door then immediately going to yell at thunder who was in the middle of explaining how to open the door..#that two second silence from thunder after soundwave got in his face . he is gritting his canine teeth so hard trying not to kill this bitch#and soundwave somehow has the audacity to feel the same if not even more anger#insolent door.. insolent MAN !!!!!#JUST DO WHAT HE WANTS DAMN IT !!!!!#soundwave thinks everyone thinks hes so cool but he is actually so pathetic loser malefailure to me like u dont understand#how badly i wonch this brat man hes so fucking funny 2 me#transformers cyberverse#transformers#tf cyberverse#soundwave#thunderhowl#'open. it. ' and then thunderhowl pins him to the door and says shut it WOAGH HEY HUH WHO SAID THAT#a canon writer of transformers mustve hacked my phone well we know how the story really ended then !#maccadam
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watched the first ep of Dead Boy Detectives today, did anyone also think the dialogue was a bit clunky?
I don't mean it was unwatchable or anything i just feel like it didn't feel realistic the way they introduced the characters and world... It felt like the dialogue was for the viewer instead of an in character thing. We were gonna be introduced to a viewer surrogate within the first few minutes, there was no need to have the characters who already know how the show's world works spell it out for nobody... and then explain it again when Crystal showed up? idk it felt like something I would write (not a complient) 😅
#the line ''we have to hide from death... or she'll get us'' was ridiculous#do you think the boy that's been escaping death since 1919 or whatever doesn't know?!#''we have to hide'' was enough the viewer can put 2 and 2 together and deduce it's bad if death sees them#to then minnutes later have them explain to crystal why they have to hide from death again...#just let the characters adress the camera if you wanna spell it out so easily#or you know... trust that the viewer is intelligent enough to wait 2 minutes for an explanation?#it was mostly just that first few mins of the first ep i think#i didn't pick up on anything else that trully bothered me#but idk it felt condecending dkjfghkdfg or simply badly written#which it was a bit of a let down to have it as a very first impression#i guess i went in thinking sandman and got like idk generic teen show#in the dialogue alone btw i actually really like the characters and the premise is awesome!#it just cuaght me by surprise#maybe it because i'm also watching fallout and the dialogue on that is like very well done and everything is a hint for something later#so i'm comparing it idk#anyways... is it just me? or was it actually clunky?#(don't spoil it past ep 1 pls)#angel talks#dead boy detectives#really liking it so far tho!
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helping
#turbotax bungled my return so badly i had to find and upload everything to H&R Block so#a real person could do it for a second opinion#my unemployment per week got increased which is good but i still have not been paid :)#phil#i also have to shop for health insurance today bc i cannot#figure out Medicare/medicaid in Texas#which is complicated by the fact i do not have unemployment in texas just ma#i also need to open a local bank acct and get that shit figured out bc i have a money order in tk#desk for the wrong amt when i originally rented this place#and that could help pay rent this month#but that requires going to a bank and explaining in person i don’t have any idea what im doing#having a really terrible mental health time on top#of that#also my phone is acting up#many tribulations and woes and maladies#yeehawing; gunshots
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Thinking about the first time Diamondback would've had to yell at/tell off Severen, and the look of absolute "what the fuck" he'd have, because he SOMETIMES will listen to Jesse but the new girl????? Looks to Jesse like 'can you believe this?' only for him to back her up or else Also yell at him.
I'd imagine it's over putting them all/Homer/or even just himself in danger for a laugh, for being just a little TOO reckless, since we see Diamondback (for all her "good times" remarks) is the first one to express worry when in danger throughout the film.
#per the director/writer jesse is also constantly worried about Everything but refuses to show/say it#which explains a Lot about his conflicting decisions (also just. wanting to give mae her chance to keep this kid so badly and#calen keeps fucking up which makes it harder and harder)#and per the director/writer Diamondback is the only one who views the entire clan not as a clan but explicitly as a family as HER family#near dark
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the plot makes me want to stop watching but his sparkling eyes bring me back each week
#he's so pretty 🥺#cooheart my beloved#i want to like this show so badly#and maybe the plot isn't even that bad#it's just the order in which they are presenting all the information#makes it confusing#and they still haven't addressed or explained all the flashbacks#but they act like everything in the present is resolved#fourever you
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Gojo smiles that smile. The one that curls his lips ever so slightly at the corners, and barely wrinkles his brow as it drags itself upward. The one that taunts with endless questions with no clear answers… with his chin in his palm, his bangs dripping down the tilt of his face, and his dark glasses slipping, too.
“Am I not a nuisance?” he asks, he tests, he trials, waiting for you to stumble, to fall, to berate him for being the spiteful person that he knows very well everyone secretly loves.
Instead, you raise your own brows in question. Inhale, almost in a deep sigh. Then you tilt your chin in and laugh.
“Our lives nearly end every day and you think I find you a nuisance? The people I love have been murdered only for you to ask if you’re the nuisance?” You roll your eyes. “Don’t kid yourself, Satoru. You could never be the problem.”
#gojo#do I tag this as gojo x reader?#truck it#gojo x reader#ego death gojo ego death gojo#I love him but I need to humble him so badly it’s#it’s bc he’s an uneducated man in education#THE WORST KIND#thinking he’s all that everyone pretending he ain’t sh*t when we all know HE IS SH*T#makes me want to hit him with a broom like#the world has real problems I don’t care u want to act all goofy !!!!!#it’s just cuz I’ve been working with kids but like … they do things they think you’ll be mad abt… and when u aren’t mad… they’re shocked#gojo is so like.#I know his tomfoolery is all on purpose even tho he’s genuinely silly and kind at heart#but like… everyone falling for it and kinda not taking him seriously…#I mean I get it a lot of the time but also#where is the ego death… where is the vulnerability… he needs to be ignored#truly I think that’s something that would drive him INSANE#am I explaining this correctly?#like I just process him so differently than everything I read#which doesn’t make all that bad but like… I need the combo. the nuisance. I gotta earn the silly after#breaking him in#nuance*** not nuisance LOL#anyway#sorry if this bad I tired#caitie post#gen
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badly explained wips tag
thanks @seastarblue for the tag :]
Rules: Explain each of your WIPs badly, then have people vote on them in a poll. Reveal the name of the winning WIP
here are the sillies:
A: we must get to The Magical Library. for revenge. too bad all the monsters in the land are hunting us tho as we are trapped in a ship
B: teens in charge of overthrowing the government. also mind control gets involved. and guns. puzzles too
C: group of nerds scientists keep ignoring the glaring signs of what the solution to the problem they are trying to solve is
D: you tried to run from your grief but she's sentient and so it's making your avoidance everyone's problem (as in. destroying the time dimension). the one way to fix this is to ruin a dude's life. get time looped. idiot
E: a seven year old has whimsical and fun adventures in the forest as he procrastinates solving a murder and a mystery
and tagging (no pressure!) @oh-no-another-idea @walkman-cat @my-cursed-prince and @floralmusings (and anyone that wants to do this also)
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had an odd dream that i was reading a comic book. sketched a couple of the pages i could remember.
#i might adapt this into an actual story because i am SO SO SO mad that it isn't a thing i can go back to reading#oc#im definitely keeping the concept of save-bot i fucking love save-bot he's just doing his best. i love a robot who wants to help people#im not equipped to be writing about underground rebellions with any sense of real tact though#besides its in a superhero universe/story so you know it would just be so sucks lol#sketch#god the colors were so interesting. the teal parts were all very precisely crosshatched and the fire was this gorgeous brush pen looking#colored inks that just seemed like they were MOVING#and i mean some of that was because i was dreaming but god even in my halfhearted copy you can see some of the movement#it was a bad scene but a really really REALLY fun dream. i love when a book can *get* to me so i was really enjoying it#put it aside so i could take a break and woke up. instant fury at the universe for not having it be a real book instead#ill reblog with details if anyone's curious. i can explain this scene but i dont feel like it#the green people are in a secret basement though. hiding from the government. blue jacket guy is a speedster robot named save-bot who does#rescue stuff with every fire department so fire suppression technology is not very good because save-bot "can just save you''#however they're badly over their legal occupancy and the secret basement has One (1) exit so everyone is like really fucked here.#includinig save-bot who is going to do his job until he dies because he is an ai without any sense of self preservation and he cares#which i didn't even CATCH until i woke up and started tryin to frantically note everything down#and then i was like wait. the glitter on that last page before i realized i needed a glass of water to keep reading... what WAS that...#(it was tears suspended in midair because save-bot goes so fast and also knows he's so fucked LOL)#seriously i'm so mad someone else didn't make this.
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slowly introducing you guysies to more and more of my ocs aka little beasts. and today you are getting Artemis (or Sora) :] she is also part of the Deadly Seven Sins crew like Kenix (Lust), Azrael (Envy), Aridam (Pride) and etc. amongst the seven, her sin is Sloth
remember when i mentioned in a post that Kenix has a daughter (not a biological one obviously)? yea this is her. this ice magical girl beast and creature who is so awfully :3 is the daughter of the mentally insane god of time (the twin gods since ken is right there but you get what i mean)
#I WILL EXPLAIN STUF ABOUT KENIX AND SORA LATER IT IS. INTERESTING TO ME#sora's sin is represented by her inner wish and desire to stay as a child forever. not wanting to change#being afraid of losing her colors losing her happy childhood losing her perfect world losing her everything.#when you're a child everything feels so great and colorful with your life being full of wonders! so why would she ever need to grow up#the fear of what is coming in the inevitable future. the fear that her child happiness will be taken away from her#the fear of having to live this dull and miserable life of an adult. the fear that with time her family and friends would be taken away.#so she becomes a (cursed) magical girl that lets her stay as a child and become her own little hero in her fantasy world!#fighting the evil! except there was no evil to begin with. the only evil in her world is the fear of growing that she refuses to confront#she could never confront it head-on. because of just how scared she is at the thought of growing up in any way#this little 12 year old girl has fears. but she is :3ing through it! still ends badly for her#yomo ocs?!#yomoart#ocs
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I got an idea for one of those talk about your characters prompts:
How would your Commander/other GW2 characters react to being stuck in a time loop?
#gw2#guild wars 2#guildwars2#gw2 commander#i may have watched a bit of a playthrough of a certain time loop game and got inspired#now for my commanders#rhixak would take it very badly#he would be freaking out the whole time but try to keep acting like everything is fine to others#he would desperately try everything and go through all stages of grief#it would be so bad for him#corrow would take it as more of a 'this might as well be happening'#having gone through so many hardships even before he became the commander#he would be much harder to shake#it's probably his personality as well#he would start working much more methodically to find a way to break the loop#he would not even care about others finding out about the loop#not bothering to hide it though he doesn't bother explaining it after the first time much either#though he would grow exhausted eventually#janis would try to keep a positive attitude to work through it#hiding the truth from others and managing much better than rhixak for example#but it would really start getting worse after just some loops#he would snap eventually#for null who already lives in a kind of loop he would take it in stride the best#for several loops he would continue on completely same as the first time#though would grow quieter with more#might even give up trying eventually since he has already been stuck in a loop
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ok but im getting emo over heinkel again so im gonna talk about him again because yeah hes yet another sad character in a sea of sad characters and i love rezero for that but like he is a character consistently characterized by one loss after the other. it's a rollercoaster and its going straight fucking down and he is so miserable and absolutely alone and its both his fault and not his fault at all. but the way it starts is - its all out of his control. the more you think about the trajectory of his life the sadder it gets.
imagine you are heinkel and your parents are the sword saint and the sword demon and you come from a long line of knights and sword saints so thats almost definitely where youre headed, right? thats whats expected of you. you are nineteen years old and youre a knight in the royal guard, which was expected of you, and you have a wife and a beautiful baby boy, which was also expected of you, but at least you have so much joy and love for the latter while the former is just another chain on the astrea family line of people who are stuck to knighthood whether they like it or not. but your family is also just another chain because youre nineteen and your mother is still the sword saint and youre playing with fate here because either youre going to be the sword saint or your son will be.
your wife, the only equal you have, falls asleep one day and never wakes up. you are twenty-one years old and a single parent and then you are twenty-three years old and your son's fate is so much bigger than youll ever be. having the worlds love means that your love pales in comparison, doesnt it? everyone knows about your comatose wife because you keep searching so much for a cure that its just another thing to gossip about. every year that passes by she just continues to look the same as she did when she was awake and alive and loved you. (you dont know it yet but your son is going to reach the same age as her, because you dont find a cure for another sixteen years and you know that she wont love you anymore because who does? theres no one left because your son doesnt count.)
and everyone knows about you because of your family. because yeah, youre a good swordsman, but youre not liked by anyone in the knights. youre not a friend and youre certainly not a sword saint or sword demon. your son mind controls someone because he loves you so much that he would do anything for you and looks up to you like youre some hero, but youre just a wreck whos scrambling to keep what little you have. youre twenty-four and you lose your mom because you were too scared to go on the mission you were assigned on, because youre a coward and youre in over your head and you know, because everyone knows, that you dont measure up. you could never be prepared for this. in a long line of people who have to carry the weight of the world, you crumble easily. your mom goes on that mission and dies and your son becomes the sword saint like this was always going to happen. this is what being loved by the world means. you just killed your mom because you just couldnt suck it up and die on that mission instead. on top of that, your dad says that your five-year-old god of a son killed your mom. its just you and your son and the two of you both killed your mom but youre the worlds biggest laughing stock and your son is the up and coming hero and monster. but you still love your son. you really do.
right?
#rezero#heinkel astrea#i have. many feelings on him always. no i do not condone his abuse and i never will. but he is such a fascinating character#and this is not even getting into like. post-reinhard being five years old. cries. there is so much happening my god. the tragedy of it all#i swear theresia and wilhelm act like they dont even like heinkel fr sometimes too i swear aldfjldfjl theres just implications behind that#relationship too. and implications to heinkel and reinhards Everything with what little we've seen of them. like little kid reinhard truste#his dad SO MUCH heinkel was very loving in the beginning. it hurts how badly it turns out later alsdlfj bc you just Know that reinhard is#internalizing this like. my dad used to love me and now he doesnt anymore and its all my fault.#BUT HE STILL DOES LOVE REINHARD DEEP DOWN BC WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE SCHULT AS A REPLACEMENT. GOD. GOD.#arc 5 spoilers#i always like. theorize that heinkel used to be someone who tried to follow the rules to the T. try his best. try to be a good perfect#knight. a bit of a people pleaser. WHICH IS LIKE REINHARD RIGHT and it explains why heinkel is so bitter and jaded and angry now. god. i#hate it here. the astreas make me sooo crazy#like heinkel really does seem like a guy whos just trying to be a goody two shoes in like the once upon a time from lugunica ss but he fail#miserably bc hes too Emotional and also going through a lot of stress aljsdlfj
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you know, there are multiple scenarios here, actually, in regards to what the fuck spider-verse’s deal with the canon events actually is
#1. Miguel Was Right. (only about some things!)
in this scenario Miguel isn’t actually wrong about canon events. every spider has a story to stick to, and every spider must follow it. this is regardless of however many spiders there were in the universe before the current one (see RIPeter of 1610 before Miles and the presumed Peter Parker who existed before Miguel became spider-man in the year 2099.) this means that every spider loses someone at the start of their career, then a police captain close to them, then perhaps a love interest (in every other universe, gwen stacy falls for spider-man…)
anyway. if Miguel is right about canon events, then he is wrong about Miles not being spider-man. if he right about Miles being an anomaly, then he is wrong about canon events. this is because if Miles is not a spider-man, then he does not have to follow canon events to protect his universe.
but this scenario is based on Miguel being right about canon events — so then Miguel’s alternate universe adventure that ended so terribly WAS actually caused by:
- Miguel EITHER disrupting the canon events of Gabriella’s universe OR
- because he skipped out on his OWN canon events OR
- because the universe falling apart WAS a canon event for spider-man 2099 only.
we the audience know Miles isn’t TOO much of a breakaway from spider-canon because while the original canon is built from adventures of Peter Parker’s life and the Peters of spider-HQ outnumber the unique Spiders 10000:1, single anomalies still exist: jess, gwen, peni, hobie, margo, malala, ben and others who we haven’t met (anya corazon, cindy moon, etc). It would follow that their “canon events” may happen differently/may be completely different to the peter-parker canon, and because we know that a peter parker already existed in 2099 canon, there is no SET canon for what comes after peter parker dies. any one of the above works, but one and two seem circumstantial to me as opposed to three, which seems the most accurate. if miguel is right about canon events, he might be wrong about how they relate to every spider — which would explain how gwen ended up dodging it without her universe falling apart, as well as pavitr dodging it (we are disregarding the black hole under mumbattan). if miguel is right about the canon but wrong about the events, it would explain why he out of all the spiders was the only one who experienced a universe collapse, because it’s a canon event ONLY for spider-man 2099.
#2. Unknown Factors Causing Interference
fact of the matter is that we do NOT know anything concrete about Gabriella’s universe. we DO know that alt-Miguel died there, that Miguel replaced him, and that the universe collapsed soon after.
what we do NOT know is how long Miguel was there, if that universe had a spider-man already, and WHAT ELSE was going on there.
- Miguel’s time spent there doesn’t matter TOO much*; however, it would point us in the direction of how much their timeline changed with Miguel’s appearance in their universe if we knew how much time there was for him to fuck shit up.
- if that universe HAD a spider-man already, then Miguel being there would have possibly POSSIBLY destabilized the universe to the point of destruction. that’s also IF Miguel was acting as Spider-Man and not just Miguel O’Hara. if that universe DIDNT have a spider-man, it’s possible Miguel’s appearance there maybe altered the course for the production of one; perhaps alt-miguel was Gabriella’s canon event for HER to become Spider-man (MAYBE) and Miguel changed it by essentially making it look like her dad never died (on the surface. the horror of it all is a different discussion) point being that perhaps he accidentally wiped that universe’s spider-man 2099 without filling in as spider-man, so maybe that’s what got messed up.
- the Spiders have a LOT of enemies. we have no idea what other forces are at play here. throughout every other universe in the spiderverse Alchemax was trying to gain access to other dimensions with the super-collider somewhere in NYC. Miguel’s Nueva York doesn’t seem to have the same problem, BUT, who knows what Gabriella’s Nueva York looked like? if it’s 2099, technology is infinitely more powerful and what if some futuristic descendent (like, idk, a niece or something) of Doc Ock’s accidentally vaporized the universe? If not through a super-collider, then through something else. if Miguel wasn’t spider-man in Gabriella’s universe, he would have no real understanding of the danger he was walking into; thus, a universe destroyed, but not at Miguel’s hands.
#3. There Is A Meta-Canon (?!)
see, the thing about being an audience to a film is that we see it as self-contained. within the story itself though, the characters see their universes as fundamentally separate from each other, joined together only by a “canon”.
Miguel theorizes that the canon is individually attached to every spider-person across the multiverse, meaning that all these universes are linked through their similarities. however, what they have not considered, is that there is a Larger canon (ie, the Narrative) moving behind the scenes. if Miles becoming spider-man was unscripted, how come RIPeter died when Miles was bit? what force decided that two spider-people in one universe was a bigger problem than RIPeter not sticking to the canon (ie, DYING) before his time? if Miles is an anomaly, how come he’s still around? according to Miguel, the universe wipes out any unscripted things that happen - for example, if the spider from earth-42 wasn’t meant to be on 1610, 1. how did it end up there and 2. how come miles’s universe didn’t collapse? how is 1610 STILL up and running even with the multiverse interference (which only happened to a handful of spiders, so it can’t really be a canon event, right?) and how come
the answer to this question is the existence of some larger invisible Meta-Canon (the Narrative) except it exists in their world. there is a story that ties all these spiders together, a Canon (or Fate, if you will) that wrote gabriella’s world out of existence, that brought the multiverse to Miles, that made the Spot an existential threat to the entire multiverse. the only issue is that no one KNOWS what the canon is, so they can’t do anything else except what they would do in the situation — ie, PLAY OUT THE STORY as was intended. essentially, fate reinvented. it’s not NEW information; there is obviously a STORY to be told in the spiderverse movies, that’s why they exist at all. however, the existence of either fate/metacanon IN-universe changes everything, because that means there are no REAL parameters for miguel’s theories or any reason at all for the “canon” to be followed, if there’s a larger story working itself out. only the elements NEEDED for this - peter b’s canon being followed exactly, miles not following any of it apart from aaron’s death - would then be utilised, and everything else would be chalked up to fate. A Preset Story** that a cluster of universes have to follow would technically override the individual canons that each spider has to follow, making it so that the canon event theory is nothing more than an in-universe motivator to push Miles and Miguel and everyone else into the next stage of their Lives or Stories.
#4. Miguel was Wrong Entirely (It’s Okay He’s Still Hot)
you know how they say fear makes you freeze up? Miguel experienced so much fear that fateful day he lost Gabriella that his brain got permanently stuck in canon-event-theory acceptance mode and now he can’t move on. there are a lot of blanks in his story, but accounting for the fact that he’s a hero (or, supposed to be, at least), i’m choosing to assume any omissions were nothing villainous (there’s theories that HE killed alt-Miguel, that he knew what was going to happen and stuck around anyway, etc) which means we are missing information, but not that kind changes how events would have played out.
however, none of this guarantees ANYTHING in terms of Miguel being right. as stated previously, there are too many inconsistencies throughout the universes for the canon-event theory to be real.
for one: why would miguel’s canon events impact another universe? presumably gwen and peter b. and the rest of the itsv cast had canon events that needed to be happening while they were stranded on 1610 - miles’ universe didn’t fall apart. similarly, why would another earth’s canon events be impacted by an intruder that the universe couldn’t crush? spider-42 bit Miles and was immediately killed, but Miles’s universe didn’t fall apart when Miles’s canon changed and RIPeter died. if Miguel was the problem in Gabriella’s world, why did he survive instead of the universe? And wouldn’t Peter B getting there and trying to help made things worse?
And another thing: we see Miles interrupt a canon event*** in Pavitr’s universe, and a black hole opens up under Mumbattan. Miguel cites this as his universe falling apart because of a lack of adherence to canon, but RIPeter in ITSV explicitly says to Kingpin that he’s “not gonna let him open up a black hole under Brooklyn!” assuming both alchemax colliders were built for the same purpose, spot managing to run the collider did exactly what RIPeter predicted: a black hole under New York City somewhere. this means that Spot and the collider are the explicit and ONLY reason that Mumbattan has a black hole now, especially as the supposed reaction to canon deviation is disintegration.
#5. Spiders Exist Outside the Narrative (Miguel is Wrong 2: Electric Boogaloo)
After everything is said and done, there is still the problem of the multiverse. Canon event theory is essentially another name for parallel universe theory, except that it only logistically only applies to Spiders and not every person on every earth****, because Spider have a thing in common that draws them together - being a Spider-Person.
this theory would be a counter to theory #3; and probably closer in spirit to the way BTSV is going to go: instead of the spiders being trapped in a larger narrative that forces events to happen, actually, the Spiders are the only ones that are free from canon events— HOWEVER, this is only if they are in the wrong universe.
for example, take Gwen Stacy. we know that she didn’t go back to her home universe in the end, that she crashes at Hobie’s and hangs around Spider-HQ in Nueva York going on missions and etc. we know that Peter Parker was her FIRST canon event, and that she went through the multiverse after that and found Miles and etc. Her second event - Captain Stacy dying to save a child, something that (almost) happened in Pavitr’s universe six months after he became spider-man, somehow still hasn’t happened to her. Could it be that her timeline is more stretched out? maybe. OR, more likely (to me, at least) the universe waited around for her to come back.
IF the spiders are truly free from the confines of their narratives while they’re physically NOT there, if they’re the only free agents in a world (that isn’t theirs!) ruled by an overarching destiny, that would explain why Miles was ABLE to save Captain Singh at all instead of something else killing him anyway. It explains why Captain Stacy never died — in the time Gwen was gone, he couldn’t die because a Spider-Person had to be there, to watch their Captain die. Now the issue is that if Spider-Man is a free agent, anyone who exists as his equal is too — which is why only random spider-man villains were being swapped over between universes (at least as far as I can tell; in ITSV there was the idea that the collider was keyed to the Spider-DNA which is why it pulled spiders from every universe, but it’s never explained why only spider-villains are being displaced across spacetime, and not like, random civilians) which is why Miles’s canon event can happen without him being there - the Spot can straight up kill Jeff Davis with or without crashing a building onto him just like how Pavitr’s canon event was rolled into a multiversal villain attack. However, if Miles never goes home, the prophecy doesn’t come true, because if Spider-man and the Spot never fight, Jefferson will have no reason to be at the scene of the crime because there would BE no scene and no crime. to kill him non-canonly would be like destroying everything ATSV set up at all, like how coincidentally Spot sees the same future Miguel does, because it’s a “canon event”.
but anyway. if Spiders are free agents, it explains why the impact of the Spider-gang and then Spider-band on various universe left a mark; why people were saved and not then immediately killed right after they left. This theory would also mean that theory #2 concerning Miguel’s actions in Gabriella’s universe is also true; the collapse of her universe was probably not due to inherent difference of dimension, but rather because of whatever actions he/someone else took while he was there that destabilized her universe. the free-of-date agent theory would also explain why Mayday exists without Peter B’s universe disintegrating when she clearly could not have existed without Peter leaving and coming back rejuvenated, and, of course, the Spot’s existence as a whole, because I highly doubt Miles would’ve made it to Alchemax and thrown that bagel at Ohnn had Peter not arrived there and then stolen that CPU with Miles in the first place.
tl:dr it has been more than a month since i first watched spider-verse and i still can’t figure it out. very excited to see where they take it in the next one. can’t wait ‼️
*an incursion a la dr strange rules from multiverse of madness can not really be the answer here; miguel had the watch to keep him from glitching in other universes, and we know that gwen consistently hangs out in hobie’s universe without anything happening, so “spending too much time” in another universe is probably not the answer
**the issue with this is that the spider-verse movies have a heavy focus on choices and individual actions and belonging as themes, and so a meta-narrative universe would be sort of left field if the third act of spiderverse makes it so that Miles isn’t making choices on his own, he was always destined to make them. still a fun brain exercise to run simulations on though
***Miles also interrupts earth-42’s spider-man process - i.e. a Canon Event. Miles G. was supposed to become Spider-Man, except it never happened, and yet earth-42 is still proudly non-disintegrated, no matter how terrible it may be
****we see many different people, not just peter parker, be spider-people. this means that every one else on earth wouldn’t be able to find their counterparts in all these different universes; either because the universes are too different and the same iterations of civilians don’t exist, or because minor changes in a civilian’s life can divorce them entirely from their alter-earth counterparts, should they even have them. the only reason Spiders have counterparts is because Being A Spider is the only thing that allows you to have an actual reflection of yourself in a different world, because you share the common trait of being a Spider-Hero
#long post#atsv#itsv#into the spider verse#meta#atsv meta#this is formatted so badly i’m so sorry#miles morales#miguel o’hara#gwen stacy#peter b parker#across the spider verse#i’m telling u i should’ve been a humanities student explaining is everything to me
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