#everything i say is just circling that drain and its gonna keep doing that til i get the strength to kill myself like i should do

[homophyte]

idk who i think im fooling

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Ten | Dating Fight! (Part 1 of 2)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

(Obligatory) Alternate Title: "Ya like jazz?"

• • •

If you told your past self you would be in the monsters' home at midnight, wearing borrowed pajamas and staying the night on their couch, you would've most likely been asked over what the hell you were smoking. 

It's what you assume will be a sleepless night, giving you time to reflect on what's happened so far and what opportunities you'd lost with the blackout. Not only had it interrupted your time with Toriel, but it had brought upon a new piece of information you weren't quite sure what to do with, and that was Sans and him being afraid of thunder. While one side of you wanted to tease him over it, the other -- based on how raw his fear was and how much he seemed to have entrusted his safety on you -- wanted nothing but to try to comfort the monster over the situation. In short, sympathy towards him sounded hard to do without him taking it as the results of his flirting, yet making fun of him made you feel like a jerk.

"Can we talk?"

You look to the voice to see Sans standing by the television, a hand gripping its top for stability. His body language shows exhaustion and nothing more, though you don't let your guard down yet, still wary over any possible flirting attempts. "About the blackout thing, I mean."

The circles under his eye sockets are darker than before, a bit of a strange observation to take in, considering how much he's slept already. If this is what he meant about how he needed Karma for his magic, it made way more sense now. A half-hour trip to Toriel's with him casting a see-through veil over the windshield and another one for him to pick up Papyrus had proven more than enough to drain his magic and all the energy left in him. 

But if that was the case, why did he accept his job as a sentry, if his task was to kill any human who crossed him -- right from the start?

Was he willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of obtaining that soul, and simultaneously, his kinds' freedom?

"Sit with me," you offer, caught in the spur of the moment. "You already sat on my lap, didn't you? Why try to be modest now? I wouldn't have minded that much, if you'd at least taken me to dinner first."

You hear him snort at that, though a hand covers up the noise when he catches just how quiet everything is. "Sorry, (Y/N). I may like flirtin' with you, but physical contact's where I cross the line. And unless you're also comfortable with it, I'm not gonna try anythin' like that." He rubs the back of his skull, looking guilty. "So with that being said, sorry for all that. For, uh, slammin' right into you, huggin' you, and then, well... lettin' me sit on your lap without asking. I wasn't myself back there."

His expression's not far from that of a wounded puppy, and it's only when you pat down at the space left next to you that he reacts, sitting down and facing your gaze. "Did something happen in the past? Were you… in a war or something like that?" PTSD's the first thing to come up into your thoughts, though you're not exactly sure how to approach the topic with him. "You don't have to answer me, if you don't want to."

"Thanks," he says, shoulders kept high as he huffs and faces his lap. "It's... somethin' like that. But like you said, I don't really know how to talk about it yet." He lets out a noise between a chuckle and a nose flare, meeting your gaze again afterwards. "I didn't know just how… how loud thunder was here at the Surface, so when it first happened, I was even more caught off guard by it. Today wasn't that bad, and I already knew what was comin', but I still acted that way."

"Do… Do other people know about this?"

"Only Tori and my bro. They were the ones who saw me in that state the first time."

You bite your lip and let out a sympathetic hiss in response to that, remembering just who'd caught him and you in that position. If Alphys and Undyne really didn't know anything about his fear, then judging by the wide stares they were giving you while the skeleton sat on your lap, their point of view was clearly far different from yours. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, mirth returning to his voice.

"Remember when you sat on my lap?"

His face falls, tone straining with it, "Is remindin' me a way of you gettin' back at me for what I've done?"

You huff and swat his shoulder in a harmless, playful manner despite your narrowed gaze. "I'm being serious here, Sans!" you exclaim, frowning. "Alphys and Undyne... They- They saw us like that, so I was wondering if you knew about it, too."

"What?" he asks, a subtle furrow showing on his skull. "Did they really see us?"

"Yes!" Your response is muffled by you covering your face in shame, face burning at the thought. "If they really don't know about your condition, then they… They probably thought we were hitting it off on the couch!" With how hot your face feels, you're forced to let it go and direct a pointed gaze at Sans, who tries to ease you out with the gesture of his hands and a hush, reminding you to keep your voice low. "They probably think we're dating now!"

"And what's so bad about that?"

"Everything!"

Frustrated by his easygoing self, it takes a minute for you to find some calm, regaining it when you remind yourself over what's more important right now. 

"I don't want either of us to get carried away with that, so I'll just tell you this," you speak up, maintaining a calmer tone and looking at the skeleton right in his irises. You focus your eyes on him, wanting the gravity of the situation to be known. "I… I used to be married, and I waited two whole years of dating just to, well… achieve that dream, only to then have Jerry ditch me the second he couldn't keep up with the responsibility of living and raising a child together." You pause in your words, feeling a few tears form in your eyes, embarrassment and sorrow both weighing the same. "If there's anything I need less of, it's romantic drama! I don't mind you flirting with me, but if any false rumour gets out about us, then I... I simply won't allow this to happen anymore."

You back off and lower your intensity. 

The more you talk, the more you realize this has nothing to do with the skeleton, aside from what transpired with the blackout. 

"What happened earlier was accidental, and I firmly acknowledge that. But if you're going to keep up this flirting charade with me, I'm gonna need to ask for one thing: don't spread false rumours about us." You wipe a tear off your face, looking away when you feel his gaze on your body, burning you. "I… I want to be a good parental figure for Frisk, so if I want that, I really can't be depicted as an easy, airheaded person." You stop and let out a breath, almost shuddering in the process. "I allowed myself to be stupid once, so I can't let it happen again."

You know you're about to confess something really, if not extremely personal, yet you can't prevent yourself from keeping your mouth shut, something about the monster and the quiet of the living room pushing you to be heartfelt with him.

"It was bad enough when he told his friends about how quickly I fell for him -- how it seemed I loved him more than he did with me. And it took me too long to understand what he meant by that when… when his first solution to us not working out the first time was doing a one-hundred and eighty on our relationship without any explanation whatsoever. I was naive and stupid as hell for getting back with him twice after that first fallout, and then deciding to marry him later on, so to this day, I… I still take responsibility for what became of us and our family after that. And that's why I really can't allow myself to… to fall into another relationship just like that. I need to fix this and myself first."

You finish venting with a huff. Then, you form a smile and offer a hand out to the skeleton when you're done. "Think we could both put this day behind us? I won't push further over what happened to you, but I… I expect the same kind of respect and treatment from you."

Sans takes your hand, completing the shake. "Ya really gotta ask, pal?" he says, winking. "Respect's somethin' that should be given right from the start, so long as the other person's showed it, too." He pulls his hand back, meeting with your eyes afterwards. "I may like teasin' and flirtin' around with you, but I still hold respect for who you are as a person, just as I hold respect for how mad attractive you look in your work uniform."

Truthfully, his last sentence catches you off guard with how nonchalant he is, and you almost pass off his words as nothing. But when you do catch onto the comment he made over that particular aspect of you, you stand up, towering over him with your hands on your hips and a scowl. "Good-night," you bark, teeth gritted.

"Wait."

Just as you turn to leave, he tugs at the end of your pajamas' sleeve and grabs your attention with the call of your name. A muffled, jazzy tune followed by yelling and fighting can be heard from the television, now on. "Watch somethin' with me," Sans says, serious. "I know ya ain't sleepy yet, and that you chose to sleep on the couch, so don't leave."

You don't budge; rather, you sigh and keep your back turned to him. "Unnecessary comment leads to a necessary need to retreat."

"C'mon," he pleads, letting go of your sleeve. "I won't make any more of those 'til the sun rises."

"...Promise?"

"Promise."

You finally face him again, though all while keeping a neutral look as you sit down next to him. The television displays a black-and-white film, action present in every second of it. When the monster asks over what you'd like to watch, you don't give him a concrete answer, letting him choose instead. He passes by a few channels, sound clips amalgamating with each other as he switches back and forth, only stopping when a DreamJobs movie shows up, a bee pun quickly making its way to your ears.

"Wanna watch this?" Sans asks, waiting.

"Whatever you want, honey," you reply, arms crossed as you look him in the eye, attempting to one-up his past flirting attempts. "I bee-lieve I told you to choose, didn't I?" You wink, soul leaving your body when you see he grins at your actions. 

He returns these by hooking an arm right behind the couch, leaning in just a bit closer to your side and staying true to his word by not once touching you. "Flirtin' back now, huh? Surprised you didn't just tell me to buzz off."

You stare at him for a good while, stricken by his line of defense. When you're capable of moving again, you stand up and make way to the kitchen, only stopping after reminding yourself over how helpful Sans had been these past few weeks, and how little you'd shown your gratitude over it. "I'm gonna go get some water. Do you need anything, Serif?"

"You're all I need right now, pal."

"I'm serious."

He chuckles, slumps on a corner of the couch, and rests an arm behind his skull. A subtle grin returns to his face, sly and dangerous. "I'm good," he says. "Though it wouldn't be bad if you could take some monster meds outta the bottom pantry."

You frown at that, reminded over his physical state. "Are you still tired?"

"Nah. Just got a lil' headache, is all."

Though unconvinced, you enter the kitchen and follow his instructions as to where the medicine is. You take the one marked with 'acetaminophen for monsters' and bring two cups of water along with you -- tap for you, and from-the-fridge for him. Taking a cup of water from Toriel's home made you feel bad, even if it was lukewarm and from the tap.

When you return, you sit next to the skeleton and offer him the medicine first. Then, you offer him a glass, though he takes the warm one. "Think I didn't see what ya did there?" he comments, winking. "You ain't gotta restrict yourself so much, pal. You're as much of a family as Frisk is."

You grab the remaining glass and hold back your emotions, how hard they hit making you drink the water to avoid them. "...Thank you, but I'm not." You drink the rest of the water, not wanting to let your voice waver. "Frisk may be like your family, but I certainly am not."

The movie distracts you when Sans decides to look at you; the mood of the film's far more whimsical and upbeat for your current state of mind. "Like I've said before, please don't waste your time on me, 'cause it's not gonna work." 

Silence stays as you both watch the movie, yet it's promptly broken when he finishes his drink. "'Fraid that's not gonna work with us, (Y/N)." His voice is serious again, a rarity for who he is; or at least, who you envisioned him to be. "Just as we're insistent on Frisk being a part of our lives, we're insistent that you can be a part of that, too. It might take time, but it'll happen with effort, integrity, and mutual understanding."

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• • •

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@the-simp-express

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@pandaquick

[sin-of-jess]

Tomura Shigaraki

Type: Smut

~

I sat at the bar, tracing the rim of the glass with my middle finger. After an exceptionally stressful job with Spinner, I was left feeling on edge. Being the healer of the League of Villains had its perks, but my quirk aquarevivel left me drained if used too much. Having Spinner's reckless ass bouncing around and getting unneeded injuries had done just that.

"I mean... I can't heal the fucking dead Kurogiri." Said man nodded, well aware of the antics of his fellow members. I downed the last of the clear liquid, pushing it towards Kurogiri and patiently waiting for the man to refill it. The pattern repeated many times, til I was heavily drunk.

"I think it's about time to turn in [y/n]" Kurogiri spoke with what could be considered a concern.

"y'know what Kuro-chan? The boss is hot." As expected, the man didn't respond. "I don't know what made me first wonder, but it's a mix of his looks itself and his personality." There was something about how Kurogiri always seems to listen that drew me into her speech. I frankly didn't care, too drunk to stop myself. "I mean he screams power to me. He knows what he wants, he's smart and just ugh." I let my head drop to the counter.

"Is that so? Interesting to know [Y/N]"

I felt my heart drop. I try to turn slowly, but all I end up doing is nearly falling off the barstool. Standing up, I look to see the man I was just gushing about standing at the doorway. Between his hair and the disembodied hand, it was impossible for my drunk eyes to see his face.

"She's very intoxicated, I'll send for Twice to collect her."

"No need, I'll take her myself."

The way it sounded in my drunk mind practically flooded my panties. I let the boss lead me out of the bar and towards the back rooms we slept in. There weren't enough rooms for all of us to get our own rooms, so I bunked with Toga.

The entire walk I found myself eyeing the front of his jeans. I wonder how big he is...?

"Big enough."

Had I said that out loud? I let out a whine, "I'm sorry..."

He didn't answer, instead he turned me so I was facing him. He leaned in, "Go play with yourself if you're so riled up." With that he opens the door and pushes me in. I land on my butt, and when I look up he's gone.

I crawl into bed and decide to do just what he told me. Shifting my shorts off my body, I immediately shove my hand into my panties. I take a look over to see Toga asleep in her own cot faced away from me. I close my eyes as I drunkenly fumble with my clit. Spreading my juices around, I'm already sensitive.

It doesn't take long for me to reach my orgasm, biting my lip as I whisper Shigaraki over and over. Toga grumbles and rolls over, but her close eyes and drooling mouth tells me I didn't wake her.

My hand stays in my panties as I fall asleep.

Waking a while after, I can still feel the alcohol in my system. I needed to pee, and there was no way my bladder was going to let me just go back to sleep. It's hard to navigate the dark hallway in my sleep, but I find the bathroom and do my business. Not liking the taste in my mouth, I decide to mouth wash while I'm in here.

Content to go back to bed, I notice farther down the hall there's a door cracked open. Curiously I go over, wondering who would be awake at this hour. It was late when I was still drinking, and I had no idea how long I had been asleep, but it was still dark.

Peeking in, I see Shigaraki sitting on the floor, playing an online game. I was personally a fan of the game myself, so I stood there for a while watching him play.

"Being nosy [y/n]?"

I yelp, shocked at being caught. I guess the alcohol made it hard to be stealthy.

"Sorry sir, I like the game is all."

"Come sit."

I'm surprised, but I do as I'm told. Sitting next to the boss, I was pleasantly surprised by a bare face. I'm so used to the hand placed on his face, I was never given the chance to really see his face. I was captivated by his eyes, which to me look like rubies.

"Did your orgasm feel good?" I stare open-mouthed at the man. Did he know, or was he teasing me about his earlier statement? "I'm surprised Toga didn't wake up when you kept saying my name."

So he did hear. I stuttered a few times, not sure how to respond to being caught.

"Do it again." The entire time he kept his eyes on his game.

"S-sir?"

"Take your panties off and rub your pussy, or go back to bed."

I couldn't believe it. Shigaraki wanted me to play with myself right next to him?

Maybe it was the alcohol that hadn't fully left my system, maybe it was my attraction to the man; probably both. Slipping my panties off, I do what I'm told. Slowly rubbing my pussy, I'm not really sure where to look. I decide to lean back, using the bed behind us to prop myself as I massage my breast with my free hand.

I can feel my juices dripping onto the floor when Shigaraki finally dies in the game and he turns to acknowledge me. I have a finger in my pussy, a slow but steady pace as I make eye contact with my source of attraction.

He stands up and faces me, "Take everything off."

I'm quick to do so, and I'm rewarded with Shigaraki undoing his pants. He fishes his cock out, and I let out a tiny moan at seeing his cock the first time. It's an average length, but he's thicker than my wrist! He strokes it a few times, then releases it. "Suck it."

I do so immediately. I take just the tip in, giving a gentle suck. Flicking my tongue around, I pull away and take a good breathe in before taking him as deep as I can into my throat. I don't have much of a gag reflex, and I wanted to show off to the man in my mouth. I can take three-fourths of it before my airway is plugged off. I begin to bob my head, hoping to take him fully in.

"Keep playing with your pussy."

I bring my hand to my clit, moving in fast circles as I speed up on his cock. The speed I'm at makes me gag a bit, but I faintly hear a moan above me when I gag. I force myself to down his cock, gagging at the sensation. With my nose touching his pubes, I try to stay there as long as possible.

My lungs at zero, I pull off of him, moaning loudly now that my throat is empty. I go right back to it, bobbing as fast as I can while still rubbing my pussy. I don't realize an orgasm is coming until it hits me. I moan around his cock, shaking and humping my fingers.

"Did you fucking cum?"

I pull away, a string of saliva connecting his cock to my red lips. "Yessir."

He yanks me up and pushes me onto his bed. Being the boss meant he had the only real bed, while the rest of us had cots, but I wasn't complaining as my naked body hit the soft sheets. He pulls his shirt off and takes his pants fully off, taking a moment to stare at me as he rubs himself.

"You want this cock?"

I nod my head, "Yes sir! Please I need it."

Not waiting any longer, the man bottoms out in me. I let out a guttural moan, it's been a long time since I've felt this full. He drops down, his hands resting on each side of my head as he finds a good pace. I'm moaning already, grabbing onto his upper arms for leverage as I try to match his pace.

Ripping one of my hands off, he puts his hand to my throat, only his pinky still in the air. His thrusts speed up, and my moans grow louder despite my airway shrinking from the choking.

"Dirty little whore, that's what you are. Playing with your pussy thinking of me. You do that a lot?"

I can barely nod my head as an answer. I can feel another orgasm coming already, his dirty talking getting a rise out of me.

"Bet you fuck yourself all the time thinking about it. You're gonna be my little cock slut, right [y/n]?"

"Yeeeesss!" I wheeze out, his grip tightening on my throat.

"You better be quiet, wouldn't want the whole league to know what a little whore you are."

That's what does it, I cum again, his name a mantra on my lips. Shigaraki releases my neck, straightening up and hooking my legs onto the crook of his elbows. This new angle hit's just right, and being quiet is the last thing on my mind.

He's pounding into me, my entire body bouncing as he ruthlessly fucks my pussy. I grab the bedsheets, needing something to anchor me as I'm used by my boss.

His thrusts turn sloppy, "Cum again, fucking do what I say and cum on my cock you filthy fucking whore."

I do just that, this time screaming incoherent gibberish as he fucks me through my third orgasm. Just as I finish my own, Shigaraki stills, a whine on his lips. Once he's emptied himself, he pulls out. I can't help but moan as I feel his cum dripping out of me.

Crawling onto the bed, Shigaraki situates himself on the bed and pats the spot beside him. Wanting to be around him longer I do what is asked of me. He grabs the blanket that had been on the floor since I first come in, he covers both of us before turning away. "When alone, call me Tomura"

~I don't know about y'all, but I imagine Shiggy is the type of guy who dirty talks a lot when he fucks. Like another way to take control ya know? Anyways feel free to make requests!~

[toothpastecanyon]

Noie’s Brother, Chapter 11

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Alcor felt like this one was a little on the nose. A newborn Mizar fading away in the hospital and a loving father pleading to him from behind a circle of candles.

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Naomi Argenta just wants this stupid vampire to stop harassing her brother. It’s making him go… weird. 

A huge thanks to @feferipeixes for helping to beta read this chapter!! Also I made a few minor references to President Chancellor - if you’re curious, that comes from their awesome fic Lucy Ann and the Lunch Bunch! You definitely don’t need to read it to understand this chapter, but I think it’s a really cool piece of writing and I’d recommend it to everyone!

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

________________________________________________________________

               It was another long day for Noie. Another long, weird day spent sneaking glances at Dipper and jumping at the sound of school bells. Another day spent keeping conversations short and strategic, vague and unhelpful; keeping certain topics close to her chest, like cards in this weird game she was playing with her brother.

               Playing, not talking.

               “Oh, wow, Dipper, you’re right, that doesn’t make it sound like vampires can affect your dreams that much… but who knows, maybe it’s a super powerful one! I got some more books for you on that!”

               Acting, not reacting.

               “Your shoulder hurts? Oh no, bro! It’s probably from all these nerdy books you’ve been hunched over all day today - c’mon, sit back for a second.”

               Showing, but never, never telling.

               “Nervous? Haha, what’ve I gotta be nervous about, bro?” Her eyes flitted towards the clock in front of the classroom. “We’re going home soon! Going back to the house, yeah…”

               Dipper opened his mouth to reply, but then he hesitated, closed it, and turned back to his notes without protest. The look on his face… it put a strain on her smile.

               She didn’t remember when he’d stopped arguing with her.

               “And I believe that is all I have for today!” The teacher’s voice made Noie glance up at him; she watched his brow furrow at the rustle of people reaching for their bags. “Hey, hey! Did I say you could pack up? Everyone can stay in their seats and talk - quietly! - with your neighbors until the bell rings. Let’s have a little patience, alright? Thank you.”

               With that, he strode over to his desk and sat himself down behind a computer, leaving the room to fill with chatter. Noie looked down the many rows of students in seats, textbooks on tables, and the top of her teacher’s face bobbing up and down above his monitor, cut off just above his eyes.

               No one was looking her way, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that had kept her on edge all day today.

               The feeling that she was being watched.

               Noie shivered at that. She opened her mouth, hesitated, pressed her pencil against the desk until the lead broke, then swept the mess away and turned to Dipper.

               “Going to the store today.” Her words came out too quiet; she cleared her throat. “Dipper?”

               He didn’t look up from his notes. “Yeah?”

               “We’re going to the store today, okay?”

               “Okay…” Dipper said, but confusion quickly spread across his face. Now, he looked up at her. “Wait, what? The store?”

               “Yeah!”

               “Why? I thought we were good on food and stuff this week.”

               “We’re low on ibuprofen.”

               “I mean, not that low. No need to make, like, an emergency shopping trip-”

               “It’s not an emergency!” Noie cut in. When he frowned at her, she grinned and gave him a nudge. “C’mon, bro! It’ll be good! Why’re you giving me that face?”

               Dipper took a moment to respond. He looked down, covered his face with his hands, and kneaded his forehead. He let out a groan, then: “Ugh… sorry, Noie.”

               “Aww, don’t be sorry, bro! We’ll get you the extra strength tablets, alright?”

               “No, it’s just… can we do this some other day? Please?” He sat back, still rubbing his face. “I’m not really feeling a shopping trip right now - my head hurts, and my shoulder still feels weird, and the whole… whole deal with the vampire… I kind of just wanted to go home.”

               “Aww, Dipper…”

               “You can go if you want, I’m not saying that. Just let me-”

               “No, you can’t go home on your own!” She thought of Lucy Ann in the backyard and shook her head. “Look, it’ll just be-”

               “Noie, please? I, really really don’t want to.”

               “But-but-” Noie stammered. “But you promised!”

               At that, Dipper hesitated. He lifted up his head and raised an eyebrow at her. “I promised?”

               That look he was giving made her cringe. She racked her mind for some kind of answer. “Um, yeah! Back at the- back on the bus! This morning! Before, uh, you went to sleep!”

               “I promised… to go on a shopping trip?”

               “You don’t remember?” Noie could see a little uncertainty creep into his frown. “We were sitting there, going to school, and you were like- um, I was like… actually, you were like ‘Let’s go to the store!’ and I was like ‘yeah!’”

               “But why would I-”

               “Because…!” Her eyes landed on his textbook. “Because vampires! I mean vampire stuff! We were going to buy vampire stuff, remember? For your dream things!”

               He blinked. “Oh… we were gonna buy, like, garlic or something?”

               “Yeah! Haha, you could put some garlic under your pillow - that’d stop anybody from getting too close to you!”

               “Heh, yeah… I guess that does make sense. Not the garlic under the pillow thing, but yeah, we should stock up on that stuff.” Dipper opened the book. “Thanks for, uh, reminding me.”

               Noie didn’t say anything to that. She just sat there, and smiled at him, and twisted her pencil ‘til it snapped in two.

               The bell rang. Dipper looked up.

               “Oh, nice.” He closed his book. “So, uh, are we going to the convenience store, or the store store… oh wait, I’m dumb, they don’t sell garlic in convenience stores. Heh, you ever just immediately answer your own question like that, Noie? Noie?”

               His words washed over her. She stared through his face, and for a moment even the churning pit in her stomach seemed so very far away…

               Then he touched her and she jumped.

               “Hey!” She started to knock his hand away, but gave it a quick pat instead. “I mean, hey. Oh, cool, did the bell ring? Alriiight, school’s out!”

               “Noie, are you-”

               “Fine! Fine! Everything is fine!” Noie shoved her book into her bag. “Everything is completely fine and let me just zip this up here, aaand done! Alright, bus! Bus bus bus!”

               She jumped up and flashed him her brightest smile. He returned a frown, his face a mixture of concern and confusion and frustration that put a lump in her throat. She swallowed.

               “What?” Her voice came off angry; she barked a laugh to try and soften it. “Hah, what’s up with you? Why the long face? I said I’m fine.”

               Dipper looked down. He didn’t say a word.

               “I am fine, okay? Dipper?” Noie’s smile stretched paper thin. “Cool, good talk. Well, we’ve gotta catch our bus now, okay? Come on.”

               She stepped away, and he followed just behind her. The hallways were already quite empty, and the odd group of chattering students didn’t do much to distract from the looming silence between them.

               Down the stairs they walked. Out the building. They rounded a corner, and Noie found herself staring down the main gates, and the glowing figure standing guard beside them.

               At that, she caught her breath. She slowed down to walk with Dipper, and they walked closer, closer.

               She shot him glances. Stared at his soft brown eyes. Linked hands with him, and tried for a smile when that made him raise an eyebrow at her.

               “Hey, Dipper.” She squeezed his hand. “I love you.”

               “I… love you too? Why are you saying it like that?”

               Noie opened her mouth to respond, but the words shriveled on her tongue when she saw his eyes flicker black on gold.

               At first it was just a flash; it was hard to tell if it’d been a trick of the light, and Dipper looked concerned at the sudden shock on her face. He squeezed her hand, and opened his mouth, but they walked closer and his eyes kept flickering.

               Kept flickering, and emotion drained from his face. Noie looked away, but she could feel his gentle squeeze get tighter and tighter and tighter until it felt like her hand was going to fold down the middle - ow.

               She sucked in a breath, kept her head down and kept going.

               Kept walking.

               They were nearly there.

               Nearly through.

               Dipper would be back soon, she told herself.

               Dipper would be back soon.

               Dipper would be back soon-

                               “Hello, child. Please wait.”

               Those words came through a chorus of voices - the angel. Noie frowned at its glowing boots, and reluctantly came to a stop.

               “Um, hey?” She cringed as Dipper’s grip tightened even more. “Do you need something? Not that it’s, uh, not nice to see you and all, but I can’t really stay and chat-”

                               “Oh, I have no favours to ask of you. Quite on the contrary, I have listened to your needs and taken it upon myself to - oh, shall I use a human colloquialism here? There are so many to choose from; your language is charming in its inefficiency, I must say.”

               “Can we maybe get to the point?”

                               “‘To the point’ - heh, there’s one of them. Yes, let us ‘get to the point.’” The two officers cleared their throats, and then a man stepped forwards. From his rubbery gloves and dark blue apron, he looked like one of the people who worked in the cafeteria. He gave Noie a too-wide smile, and then reached into the pocket of his apron and drew out…

               “Oh. Garlic?” Noie made a face. “And a hammer. And a… a stake. That is an actual stake you’ve got there. Um.”

                               “I have blessed these with the cleansing light of my innermost essences. They will be far more effective than any equivalent one could purchase at a human marketplace.” The man held them out to Noie with a grin. “You’re welcome, child. Or as your kind may say, ‘it’s on me.’”

               “Uh…” Noie shuffled back. “Thanks, buddy, this is real… real thoughtful of you, but I think I’m gonna pass on your, um, innermost essences.”

                               “Pass?” All three heads cocked in unison. “You are refusing my gifts?”

               “I mean, refusing’s a strong word, but y’know, my folks like getting points for gas when I use their card, and I’m pretty sure that stake thing is actually super illegal, so…”

               She trailed off. The men just stared at her, faces completely blank.

               “...so yeah? We’re still good? Still…” Noie heard a deep rumbling sound start up beside her; she glanced over to see Dipper baring his teeth at the angel, face contorted with rage. “Oh, he is… he is growling right now. Okay. Um, I think I’ve gotta go? So bye?”

               She stepped back, and stepped back again. The angel didn’t react, so she flashed a smile, snapped a wave, and dragged Dipper out of there at the fastest walking speed she could manage.

               She didn’t look back. She didn’t look at Dipper. She kept her eyes facing forwards, fixed on their bus as it pulled away from their stop and drove off into the distance.

________________________________________________________________

               “Dipper? How’re we holding up, bro?”

               “Ughhhhh…”

               Noie made a face at her brother, who was currently crumpled on a bench outside the supermarket. She waved off some concerned-looking shoppers with a “Don’t worry, he’s okay!”, then gently pried one of his hands off his forehead and pressed a packet of frozen peas into it.

               “Here,” she said, and tucked a receipt into his pocket. “And keep this too, just in case. I’m ninety nine percent sure nobody’s gonna ask for it, but hey, people are jerks sometimes, y’know? Hah!”

               She laughed, but Dipper didn’t respond. He wasn’t very talkative at the moment - he hadn’t been since that encounter with the angel at the gates.

               The memory sent shivers down her spine, brought back flashes of glowing golden eyes, of growling, of looking down at the ache in her hand and seeing actual claw marks in her skin… Noie shook her head clear, and rose to her feet.

               “Alright, you wait here.” She hesitated before patting him on the shoulder. “I’ll be super quick, okay? Pinky promise.”

               Dipper managed a nod.

               “Yeah, that’s the spirit!” With a grin, she stepped away. “You’re the best, Dipper! Love you!”

               Noie took a few steps backwards… then a few more, and a few more not quite able to take her eyes off him. There was a pit in her stomach when she looked at him sitting there, all alone, with his head buried in a pack of frozen peas…

               Maybe this was a bad idea.

               Before she could think too much on it, there was a “Hey!” and Noie had to dodge a cart she’d wandered into the way of. The man pushing it shot her a glare. “Watch where you’re going!”

               “Sorry, sorry!” Her cheeks burned as he stalked past her. “Sorry…”

               Then she cleared her throat, glanced one last time back at Dipper, and made her way inside before she got in anybody else’s way.

               She’d be quick.

               Noie grabbed a basket from the side and held it in the crook of her elbow as she linked her fingers together. One hand rubbed the claw marks on the back of the other as she made a beeline to the fresh produce - it was right by the entrance - and picked out a head of garlic and some pumpkin seeds.  She spotted some bananas and remembered they were out, but a split second later she also remembered Dipper hanging on for her for outside and skipped past them to find the painkillers.

               Ugh, the medicine aisle was all the way on the other side of the store. She rolled her eyes and broke out into a little jog as she made her way there; the extra strength ibuprofen was about halfway down the aisle, and she picked one out - no, two. Just in case.

               Noie tossed those into her basket, and grimaced at her little collection.

               Alright. That should keep Dipper from getting suspicious about this shopping trip.

               Now for what she actually needed to buy.

               Noie paced the aisles a little bit before she found the one she was looking for. Fridges full of frozen meals lined one side, and on the other was a man choosing between two bottles of wine; she pretended to stare at the frozen meals until he sighed, threw both of them in his cart, and shuffled off.

               With a shiver, she looked both ways and headed to a very small section tucked to the very back of the aisle, labelled ‘Vampire Products’. Between that title and the bright red bloodpacks dangling from each shelf, it was obvious a human like Noie was not supposed to be opening this particular fridge.

               So she did it quickly, and moved away to examine the squishy bag of gross that was now in her hands.

               It was cold to the touch. The plastic felt thin and clammy - kind of like seran wrap, Noie thought, and with that analogy in mind she was careful not to squeeze it too hard. The label was plain white and noticeably devoid of branding; apart from a logo and tagline tucked into the corner (‘Sated Solutions: Keeping Our Streets Safe Since 2029’), the rest of the space was packed with warnings, each one delivered with more CAPITALISED WORDS FOR EMPHASIS than an angry internet post:

BLOOD PACK FOR VAMPIRIC CONSUMPTION ONLY: 495ml WHOLE BLOOD, COLLECTION DATE 04/25/85

CAUTION: THIS PRODUCT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR USE IN TRANSFUSIONS.

CAUTION: THIS PRODUCT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR GENERAL CONSUMPTION. CONSUMPTION OF HUMAN BLOOD MAY LEAD TO HEMOCHROMATOSIS (IRON OVERLOAD) WHICH CAN CAUSE ORGAN DAMAGE, IRREGULAR HEARTBEAT, CIRRHOSIS OF THE LIVER…

               It went on, and Noie skimmed the rest before gingerly placing it in her basket and proceeding to self-checkout. No drinking the blood, got it.

               She scanned the garlic and the seeds and the ibuprofen, and put them in a bag. Then, with a quick glance over her shoulder, she scanned the bloodpack and shoved it into another bag as fast as she could. She wrapped that bag up, put it in with the other stuff she’d bought, then got out her grandfather’s card and went to pay.

               The bloodpack was twenty-five dollars. Noie muttered a little ‘sorry’ to the card reader as she typed in his pin.

               (This was just a one time thing, she reasoned. She only needed it to last a few days… it’d last that long, right?)

               (Seriously, how much could a vampire even drink?)

               She doodled a little heart on the signature line, and took a deep breath to to steady her own racing pulse as she waited for the beep. Once it went through she pulled out the card, grabbed the bag, and darted for the exit.

               “Dipper? Dipper!” She called his name before she could even see the bench. She rounded the corner, and- “Dipper, there you are!”

               Dipper had sat up, and was giving her an odd look. “Yeah? You told me to wait-”

               “I’m sorry I was gone so long!” Noie wrapped him up in a hug. “I’ve got everything you wanted though, so- oh! How’s your head feeling?”

               “Not great, with you yelling in my ear like that.”

               “Sorry! I mean, sorry… You okay, though?”

               “Yeah… I’m feeling a little better.” He rubbed his forehead. “I’ll be fine, I just want to go home and lie down for a bit.”

               With a tight smile, Noie drew back. “That’s fair, bro. We’ll go home now.” She helped him to his feet. “We’ll go straight home, and you’ll go straight to bed, okay? Okay. Ohhh-kay.”

________________________________________________________________

               Noie had this evening all planned out. Dipper was going to go sleep off his headache, so she’d take that time to slip the bloodpack to Lucy Ann. She could do that in five minutes, then go pick up a few more vampire books from Grandma’s study; if she dumped some heavy ones on his lap as soon as he woke up, she could probably keep him in his room all night. There’d be no chance of him even seeing the vampire!

               She opened the front door, grinning to herself. This was good! This was a good plan. Then she could wake up early, and do breakfast in bed...

               “Hey, kids!”

               Wait, what?

               “Good day at school? Say, aren’t you back earlier than this most days?”

               Noie stared at her grandfather, who was sitting in the dining room and reading an actual newspaper. She was about to ask where her grandma was when-

               Oh, stars.

               Oh, no...

               “Everything alright?” David frowned at them. “You two look terrible.”

               Dipper was already shuffling towards the bedroom. “We’re, uh, fine, Grandpa… I got a headache today.”

               “Another bad one, eh?”

               “Yeah. I’m going to lie down.”

               “You do that, kid. You’ll feel better.” David watched him go, forehead wrinkling in concern. “Might need to take him to the doctor… hey, Naomi, what’s the, uh… the number for the lady your brother sees? D’you know where Allie kept it?”

               Noie didn’t answer. She didn’t hear the question. She was too busy staring at her grandmother.

               Sitting outside.

               Talking.

               Laughing.

               Lucy Ann.

               “Naomi?”

               Where was Lucy Ann?

               “Naomi!”

               Noie blinked. Her grandfather was frowning at her, now.

               “Will you listen to me, kid? I was asking you a question. I wanted to make an appointment with the neurologist for your brother; I’m getting worried about all these headaches he’s been having lately-”

               “Oh, I can set that up.” She blurted out, then: “Why’s Grandma outside? Who’s she talking to?”

               “Huh?” David glanced outside. “Oh, uh, she’s… She came out with me while I was tryna see what was tapping at our porch this morning, and for some reason she didn’t want to come back inside. Wanted to keep sitting out there.” He stuck his nose back into the newspaper. “Don’t ask me why. It’s hot as… it’s hot today.”

               Noie watched Allie let out a laugh. She could hear the faintest bit of it come through the glass, loud and happy. “B-but who’s she talking t-”

               “She’s fine.” He cut her off. “Everything’s fine, she’s just… practicing an old speech of hers or something, I don’t know. I’m just waiting for her to come in so I don’t have to keep sitting on this damn chair - my back’s screaming for the couch, I tell you.” He looked down at the bag in her hands. “Did’ja go to the store?”

               “What? Oh, uh!” Noie hid the bag behind her. “I just- we got garlic.”

               “Were we-”

               “Yes, we were out!” Darting over to the counter, she dumped the garlic and - she’d find a home for it later - the pumpkin seeds into the fruit bowl, then squeezed past the dining table to get to the porch. “I’m going outside!”

               “What? No, don’t…” David hesitated, thought on it for a second, and then sighed. “I mean, uh, I guess you can if you really want to. I don’t know why I’m saying no, I don’t see the harm.”

               She gave him a hug as she passed his chair. “Thanks, Grandpa!”

               “What are you- oh, hugs, alright. Yes, yes, you’re very welcome for, uh… well I’ve been thinking, and, y’know, I say no to a lot of things that maybe don’t matter so much, and-”

               “Oh! You need to go away, Grandpa!”

               “Excuse me?”

               “I mean…” Noie tore her eyes away from the porch, and gave David an awkward smile. “Why don’t you let me keep an eye on Granny?”

               He raised an eyebrow. “You want to sit out there and watch her?”

               “Yeah! A-and you can go back to the couch and watch TV and not be right here?” Her smile stretched wide. “Doesn’t that sound nice? That sounds nice to me.”

               “I’m not sure… you know you can’t walk off on her, right?”

               “Of course! I would never do that!”

               “So you’re gonna stay out there as long as she’s out there?”

               “Pinky promise!”

               Hmmm…” He narrowed his eyes. “Why’re we so eager to look after Allie all of a sudden?”

               “Cause she’s my Granny and I love her? I don’t need a reason to wanna hang out with her!”

               “That’s… I suppose that’s true, but-”

               Noie forced a laugh as she plucked the newspaper out of his hands. “Besides, I have to rescue you from this. Don’t you get news on your phone?”

               David tensed at that; oops, she'd hit a nerve.

               “Ohh, can’t you get news on your phone?” He imitated her voice in a mocking falsetto, and she cringed. “Everyone’s like ohh, it’s so convenient, and then everyone’s wondering why journalism’s dying out - you know what happened once an old paper of mine stopped selling print?”

               “Grandpa-”

               “Suddenly ohh, we just don’t know if that story’s gonna get clicks, ‘cause suuure, that’s the important thing to talk about, the fucking clicks, ‘cause what else are we here to-”

               “Grandpa!” Noie nudged him away with a polite smile. “That’s really cool and important and all, but…” She glanced outside. “Um…”

               He rolled his eyes, and got to his feet with an exaggerated sigh. “Fine, I can take a hint. Nobody wants to hear what Grandpa has to say, he should just shut up and go watch TV.”

               “That’s not what I said!”

               “You keep a close eye on Allie.” He pointed at her with the newspaper. “That’s what you agreed to, and maybe that’s not convenient or whatever, but it’s important, and you young people’ve gotta learn it’s not one or the other.”

               “Young people? What are you even- I’m not gonna let her wander off, okay! Why do you think I’d ever do that?”

               “You gotta learn, is all I’m saying.” David shuffled off, rubbing his back. “You gotta learn.”

               “Alright, alright... sheesh.” Noie crossed her arms. “‘You young people’, oh, my stars. You think there was ever some old grump who said that to Grandpa back when he was a kid? Heh, I bet he was like ‘I wanna be just like you when I grow up!’”

               There was no reply. She looked around, and saw Dipper wasn’t standing next to her… oh, right.

Tap, tap, tap.

               Noie turned around, and saw her grandmother tapping on the glass. Allie smiled and waved at her when they made eye contact, and there was a flicker of a figure from behind a wall running down one side of the porch.

               Oh, right.

               She gulped, drew the blinds, and gingerly stepped outside.

               The first thing she heard was, “Naomi!”

               “Hi, uh, Granny. I-”

               Arms came down and wrapped her in a hug. Allie squeezed her tight, tighter than she had in a long time. She tousled Noie’s hair and laughed; the sound was loud and loving, happy and carefree, and all the things Noie was going to say suddenly dried up on her tongue.

               “It’s so good to see you!” Allie pulled back, and there was a shine in her smile. “Oh, wow, you’ve grown, haven’t you! Shot up like a seed, a seaweed!” She leaned forward. “You taller than Dipper yet?”

               There was a lump in her throat. “I… um, I… I don’t... think so?”

               “Aww, you should measure. Round your age, you’ll proberbe taller… pr-, properly? No, ‘probably’ ‘be’ taller.” She snorted to herself. “Words, Allie. What are we doing here?”

               Noie just stared. It was strange, to see her grandmother like this: so animated, so responsive, so happy, so… herself.

               Not because it was unfamiliar, because it wasn’t. Her hug, her laugh, her smile, and how it gave way to concern as she noticed the look on Noie’s face; this was all so, so familiar, and suddenly, she missed it so, so badly.

               “Naomi? Sweetie?” Allie squeezed her shoulders. “What’s the matter?”

               She just shook her head and hugged her Grandma. There were no words to explain it, and maybe Allie realised that, too; she just held Noie close, and rocked her a little, and for a moment, wrapped up warm and safe in her arms, everything really was okay.

               Everything was as it should be.

               Then Allie noticed someone. Noie felt her stiffen, and wiped her eyes before looking up questioningly.

               She was frowning at the wall behind the porch… and the figure currently trying to flatten herself against it. The confusion slowly turned to recognition, and then:

               “Is that… is that Lucy Ann? Oh, my stars!”

               Wait, what?

               Noie just had time to go, “Huh?” before she was almost pushed aside in a sudden dash over to the vampire. Lucy Ann stopped trying to hide; she stood up straight, and shot a glance at Noie before putting on her best smile and extending a hand.

               “Uh, hi. Yeah, it’s me again.”

               “Oh my stars, Lucy Ann!” Allie shook her hand vigorously, her words tumbling out of her mouth - almost nervously. “It’s- it’s an honour! I can believe I’m finely meaning you, I never fought I’d see- I… oh, where armyanners?” She gave one more firm shake, and her smile straightened into something more professional. “I’m Senator Aleksandra Argenta, from Southern Arizona. It really is a pleasure to meet you.”

               With wide eyes, Noie watched Lucy Ann look from Allie’s dishevelled grey hair down to her faded blue nightgown and bare feet, then dip her head and say: “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Senator. Big fan of your work.”

               “You guys know each other?!”

               Allie turned to Noie, and her smile brightened even further. “Oh, Naomi! You’re here!” She dashed up to her and gave her another huge hug. “It’s so good do see you! Howave you been? How’s school? Oh wow, you’ve gotten so much taller!”

               “I-” Noie pointed at Lucy Ann. “I don’t… How do you…?”

               Lucy Ann chuckled. “Oh, I might’ve made a couple names for myself over the years. I’m surprised you didn’t recognise me with a grandma this cool, though I’ll cut you some slack - I didn’t recognise Argenta either.” Her grin sharpened. “Guess I didn’t see the resemblance.”

               “What?”

               “Naomi, you have to meet this, this!” Allie took her hand and dragged her right up to the vampire. “This is Lushiann, she was instruments in taking down the Chancellor admini-uh-instrumentation acapple centaursa go! Living histree!”

               “What?”

               “There was a very pro-nat President you guys elected a few hundred years back.” Lucy Ann crossed her arms. “Me and a Mizar and some friends, we, uh, ‘took care’ of her.”

               “Oh…” Naomi tried for a smile. “That’s nice. Good job?”

               “Yeah, I’d say saving millions of preters from getting hunted down by the government was a pret-ty good job.”

               “And we’re still fighting for pretrights.” Allie grumbled. “Laws from back then, they’re still on the books and peter-epresentation is still at history lows - you know itsstimated seventy percent of pre-transcendaged citisents are-egistered devote?”

               “Seventeen percent registered to vote, yeah.” Lucy Ann shook her head. “Used to require everyone to have a US birth certificate, no exceptions, and, uh, that’s rather hard for folks whose birth certificate - if they had one - predates the United States.”

               “I can’t believe that’s still alaw, I have a bill going through committeen right now to strike that one out.”

               “Yeah, and it passed.”

               “Oh, it passed?” Allie blinked, and then smiled. “Ohh, it did, didn’t it? That’s wonderful! Still a lot of work to do, though.”

               Lucy Ann nodded. “You can say that again.”

               “I’ll say it as many timesi need to.” She chuckled. “Some of my colleaks could use the reminder.”

               The two of them laughed, and Noie just stared. The scene was too utterly bizzare for her to process; all she could think was what the fuck was going on?

               There was a hand on her shoulder. Allie shot her a grin.

               “Naomi, it’s so good to see you! Oh, my stars, you’ve come at such a good time!” She motioned to Lucy Ann. “This is Lucy Ann - you’verurdove Lucy Ann, right?”

               Noie nodded weakly. “She took down a bad president?”

               “A bad pro-nat president.” Lucy Ann added. “Don’t you forget that bit.”

               “Sorry.”

               “Lucy Ann was such an inspiritasion for me getting in-tolitics.” Allie sighed. “You know, my sister got bitten when she was for a teen, and it was such a rightmare getting anything done for her… I was like, Lucy Ann showed us hundreds of years ago this was unexpectable! Why’s she still gotta deal with this? Someone’s gotta changeings!” She laughed, and squeezed Noie’s shoulder. “And I know we got quite a promisting young lady here who-onts to... to do good change things too.”

               Noie stiffened when Lucy Ann looked her way. “Uh…-”

               “Oh, yeah? She’s gonna be a senator too?”

               “I mean, I don’t know if I-”

               “She’s certainly got it in her, if she wants to.” Allie beamed down at her. “You’re a talented young lady, Naomi. Don’t short your sell short, you’re going to do amazing things. You and Dipper, I can’t wait to see what you do.”

               Noie didn’t know what to say to that. Lucy Ann pursed her lips.

               “Well, you’re not wrong, she’d certainly fit right in as a politician.” She cleared her throat. “Uh, Senator?”

               “Yes?”

               “It’s been really, really great chatting with you… seriously, you have no idea how much I appreciate the company.” She gave a barking laugh, and picked at the blood under her fingernails. “But, uh, d’you think I could, y’know, speak with your granddaughter for a sec? One on one?”

               “You want to do that?” Allie raised her eyebrows. “Oh, that sounds like exciting! What do you say, Nomi?”

               Noie glanced at Lucy Ann, who was giving her a very hard look beneath that smile. She made a face.

               “Uh, sure, I guess?”

               “Naomi,” there was gentle laughter in her grandmother’s voice. “I think you can say that a littleit more politely.”

               “...Yes? Thank you?”

               Lucy Ann’s smirk was hard to look at. “Oh, don’t mention it. You know I’m here all day.”

               “Really? What’s the occasion?”

               “Don’t worry about it, Senator. I’ll, uh, tell you later.” Lucy Ann waved her away. “Give me a second with Noie, alright?”

               “Oh, you want to talk with my granddaughter? That sounds exciting, Naomi, what do you-”

               “I need to walk you back to Grandpa!” Noie tugged her towards the door. “Uh, I’ll be back in a second!”

               Lucy Ann raised an eyebrow. “You’d better.”

               “I-I will!” She opened the door for Allie. “Come on, Granny.”

               “Where are we going?”

               “To Grandpa! To, uh, David!” Slowly, Noie coaxed her into the house. “Come on!”

               Allie frowned, but she let herself be led down the hall and into the living room. David gave her a wave when she sat Allie down next to him; he put his arm around his wife and looked back to the TV with a little grunt of thanks.

               Noie was just walking away when she heard, “Can you ask Lucy Ann when she’s free?”

               She spun around to stare at her, then at David. “Wh-what?”

               “I’d love to see her again.” Allie smiled. “Maybe I can invite her over to our house. For tea.”

               Noie just gaped at her grandmother, at a loss for words. After a moment, David waved her away.

               “I got her, Naomi.” He squeezed Allie’s shoulder. “Good to have you back, I was… Uh, you wanna watch anything in particular? I’m just clicking through channels - so much of it’s a bunch of crap. Ugh.”

               She backed up, staring at her grandmother for one more moment. Then she turned around and darted back through the halls and back outside.

               Lucy Ann was waiting for her, feet right up against the open door and all pretense of a smile dropped from her face. She raised her eyebrows when she caught sight of Noie.

               “Oh, you actually came back. Gotta admit, I was ninety percent sure you were just saying that.” She stepped to the side to let Noie through. “I was thinking of just screaming ‘DIPPER YOU’RE ALCOR’ through the door - y’know, since you left it open and all.”

               She slid the door closed. “Um, please don’t do that.”

               “Oh of course, it’d be very inconvenient for you, wouldn’t it.”

               “No, that’s-! Look,” Noie threw her bag on the table and fished out the bloodpack. “I got this for you, so I’m not gonna let you die, alright? Everything’s going to be okay, so if you could just wait here a little longer, I’m working on a plan-”

               “Of telling Dipper he’s Alcor?”

               “No, but-”

               “How long’s this plan gonna take?”

               “Uh, I don’t think it’ll be too long-”

               “Do you take constructive criticism?” She crossed her arms. “Or is it not quite out of the brainstorming stage?”

               “Uh… look, I have it under-”

               “No, you look, Noie!” Lucy Ann picked up the bloodpack with balled fists. “Look at this! This is insulting! I am not your pet! I am not going to stand in this fucking yard thirty feet from the only person who can actually help while you run around making stupid little plans that won’t fucking work!” She noticed Noie pressed up against the glass, and took a very deep breath. “Okay. Look, I am sorry this is so hard for you, but Dipper is Alcor, and an angel is trying to kill me, and I am sick and tired of sitting around in your yard doing nothing - I have a life to get back to!”

               “I…” Noie gulped. “I’m sorry, I-”

               “Don’t be sorry, just go get Alcor!” She stared Noie down. “Well?”

               “Um, i-it’s just-”

               “Ohhhh my starrrrs…” Lucy Ann dropped the bloodpack and kneaded her forehead. “How are you related to Senator Argenta? Just… how?”

               “She’s… she’s my grandma?” Noie cringed when Lucy Ann started banging her head against a wall. “Uh… did you… did you actually know her?”

               “Didn’t know her - I just met her this morning - but I knew of her, back when she was a senator.” She rested her head against the brick. “She did good work. And she was a real interesting lady to talk to, real passionate… I’m sorry she’s, y’know…”

               “Alzheimer's.”

               Lucy Ann sighed. “Yeah, I figured. That sucks, it really does.”

               “It’s okay.”

               “...You know, not everything has to be okay all the time.”

               Noie didn’t know what to say to that. She stared at Lucy Ann, and after a moment, the vampire turned to look at her.

               “Are you gonna go get Alcor for me?”

               She said nothing, and watched Lucy Ann’s eyes go flat. The vampire looked down again, down at the floor, and suddenly it was hard to ignore how small she was. How young she seemed, in a dirty red shawl several sizes too big for her.

               “Then I don’t know why you’re still standing there.”

               That made Noie cringe. “Do, uh, do you want me-”

               “To go? Yeah, I think that would be best.” She scuffed her feet against the porch. “I gotta lot of thinking to do: gotta figure out how to get to Alcor on my own and that’s… not easy. But hey, don’t let me stop you from living your life. Go inside.”

               Noie stepped back. She stepped back again. She opened the door, and glanced over at Lucy Ann one more time-

               “Seriously? Just go already!”

               Then slid it shut and walked away with her arms clasped around her chest, cradling the deep, sinking feeling in her stomach.

               This was fine. Or at least, it was going to be fine.

               She just had to hold it all together for a few more days.

               Just a few more days…

[onthecue]

Road to RPm: How to be a BLEPP Passer

The Board Licensure Examination for Psychologists and Psychometricians (BLEPP) started in 2014. It’s safe to say that this is one of the relatively new national exams in the Philippines.

Through the years, only more or less half of the total number of takers are successful in passing the Psychometrician board exams. Here are the results:

2014 - 1,290 out of 3,283

2015 - 2,061 out of 4,466

2016- 3,690 out of 7,312

2017- 4,957 out of 8,701

2018 - 4,035 out of 8,453

I placed these numbers not to scare future takers. I just want everyone to have an idea on how tough the exam is. So you can get the picture, the board exam is not easy as it seems.

I passed BLEPP 2018. For someone who is in the helping profession, I would want to extend my knowledge and help fellow Psychology majors who would want to take the Psychometrician licensure exam.

Knowing that you are here, searching for tips on how you can attain your goal of being an RPm too says a lot about your determination. Keep that up and I’m pretty sure your name will be on the list of passers too!

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQs):

1. What are the subjects included in the Psychometrician Board Exam?

The Psychometrician board exam is composed of four (4) subjects namely, Psychological Assessment (40%), Theories of Personality (20%), Abnormal Psychology (20%), and Industrial Psychology (20%). However, there are news that additional subjects will be added in future examinations. This isn’t confirmed yet for BLEPP 2019 so you can calm down a bit. Just a bit.

2. What is the passing grade in order to become licensed?

You need to attain a general average of at least seventy-five percent (75%) for all subjects, with no grade lower than sixty percent (60%) in any of the subjects.

However, there is what we call a conditional passer. These are the examinees who attain an average of 75% but they have a grade lower than 60% in any of the four subjects. What's the catch? Conditional passers may retake the subject(s) within the next two years and they must obtain a grade of at least 75% in order to pass the licensure exam.

But of course, that’s not THE GOAL. Aim to completely pass all subjects and become a board passer. If you can, go the extra mile and even top the board exams!

If you have any questions, kindly send a Tumblr ask, I would gladly help you out if I know the answers.

MY TIPS ON HOW TO PASS THE PSYCHOMETRICIAN BOARD EXAM:

Disclaimer: These tips helped me a lot but it doesn’t mean that it will certainly work on you too. It will still depend on your personal preference and your learning style.

1. Have a study schedule and STICK TO IT.

Set a goal. Since there are four subjects, I allotted at least one month per subject. I started reviewing as early as June 2018 so I had ample time to review. By October 2018, I had around a month for a refresher and to reread.

I had daily and weekly goals to meet. This helped me a lot because I wasn’t only organized with my review but it helped me to feel accomplished once I see my progress on paper. It felt great to tick off topics on my to-do list. It was reassuring for me.

What if you don’t meet your goal? Of course there will be days when it’s harder to study, especially during the rainy season. There are days when you’ll be distracted and you couldn’t focus. Don’t be afraid to adjust your schedule as needed. But refrain from always doing this and putting off your goals for tomorrow. We all know that each hour of studying matters! “Bukas na lang” and having a lot of excuses won’t help you pass the board exam. Make sure to make up for your backlogs and delays.

It’s better to study in advance than to cram. Besides, you will feel more confident when October comes. Imagine if you are still halfway through the coverage and it’s already October first. I swear, that will be terrifying! SO STUDY IN ADVANCE.

2. Fix your body clock.

On the day of the board exam, you will need to wake up VERY EARLY. If you are nocturnal and you are more productive at night, you will have a hard time to focus during the board exam if you do not fix your body clock. Trust me, I’m a night owl as well.

Why is this important? If you stay up all night studying, your body will be used to waking up late and feeling sluggish during the afternoon. It will be hard to wake up and arrive on time for the exam. For me, it was a challenge to train my mind to be ready for the first exam at 8am and also make sure to fight that after-lunch-siesta sleepiness for the afternoon exam at 1pm.

So my tip is to fix your body clock. While reviewing, I woke up as early as 5am. My study schedule was from 6 in the morning up until 8 in the evening only (breaks included of course!) But it’s still up to you, whatever works for you. That’s just my study tip.

3. Reward yourself!

As mentioned, I only studied for around 12 hours. After a day’s worth of studying, I make sure to reward myself IF I FINISH MY DAILY GOAL OR TARGET. I watch my favorite tv show to unwind or eat my favorite comfort food or go out for a drive and get milktea.

This is important too. Remember that too much of something is always bad. Rewarding yourself will keep you sane, make you feel motivated to accomplish your review goals, and to of course, free your mind of the fears and doubts!!!

4. Choose only one to two reference books per subject.

There are a lot of books available that would help you, but it will be too overwhelming if you study too much books per subject. I will list down below the books that helped me throughout my review.

Psychological Assessment and Theory by Kaplan & Saccuzzo

Psychological Testing and Assessment by Cohen & Swerdlik

Abnormal Psychology: An Integrative Approach by Barlow & Durand

Theories of Personality by Feist & Feist

Industrial and Organizational Psychology by Aamodt

Sikolohiyang Pilipino by Pe-Pua

These were the main materials that I used. I finished these books from cover to cover. These books were recommended by the lecturers in the review center that I enrolled in, RGO.

I also used some of the powerpoints that our lecturers provided as well as the review booklets and drills that were given to us.

5. Enrolling in a review center or self-study?

It’s a case to case basis. Remember that not everyone who enrolled in the review center passed the BLEPP! Enrolling in a review center is not a ticket to those three letters! I would like to believe that this greatly depends on you. Sure, enrolling in a review center has its advantages. You’ll have test drills and review materials. Some lecturers are also kind enough to give a copy of their powerpoint presentations. You’ll also be motivated to study because of a supportive community of fellow Psychology students, review center staff, and your mentors.

But there’s a downside. It was honestly overwhelming and draining to sit from morning til the afternoon, from 8am to 5pm. For someone with a short attention span like me, after two hours, I was honestly zoning out already. It’s hard to pay attention the whole day for lectures.

Another downside is that you will feel pressured, especially when you see your friends’ progress with the review, reading, and results in the test drills. You MIGHT compare where you are and what you’ve accomplished, which leads me to another tip.

6. FOCUS ON YOURSELF but surround yourself with positive people and have a support system!

COMPETE WITH NO ONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF. Don’t compare your progress with anyone else’s. Trust your pace and focus on your own review. It will cause you additional pressure if you compare with the people around you.

Don’t hangout with those with negative vibes. “Hala babagsak ata ako.” “Ako rin.” Remember, our mind is a very powerful place. Feed it with the right fuel. Stay with people who will motivate you and who will not bring you down.

7. Think positive. Be optimistic!

I’m not gonna lie. My BLEPP journey was not easy. There were nights when I felt like giving up. I also doubted myself if I will make it. I shed a lot of tears during that five months of review. My mantra all throughout is: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.”

I didn’t take the exam with the goal of just passing. I wanted to have decent results, to top the board exams if I can. I didn’t have a mindset that’s mediocre, similar to this: “Kapag pumasa ako edi good, kung hindi okay lang.” Why is that, you ask? Because I want to pass the exam. If I give myself the assurance that it’s okay for me to fail, even if in the back of my mind that’s not my goal, and that’s not what I want to achieve, the universe won’t pave a path towards my success. Law of attraction!

So set that goal, claim it. You will pass and all your actions, thoughts, and everything else will be circling around your dream of being an RPm. Believe that you can and you are halfway there.

8. Know your learning style or what works best for you.

In my case, I’m a visual learner. So the use of flashcards (i made my own using index cards), writing down key words, drawing to understand certain concepts, and reading while using colorful highlighters really helped me!

9. Believe in yourself and don’t listen to your demons!

Your motivation will wear out at some point. You will start to doubt yourself. You will begin to question why you wanted to take the exam in the first place. You will feel like you will fail. These are just some facts.

Don’t be afraid. Just pray, trust in the Lord, and His plans. So what if you don’t make it? What are you afraid of? Being judged by others? Being reprimanded? Remember, you can always take the exam again. Passing on your first or second, or third take won’t really matter. What will truly matter is what you do with your license. Just strive, do your best, and believe that you will become an RPm.

10. Apps that helped me.

Forest - The first app that I used is called Forest. It helped me to stay away from social media and to get rid of distractions! It’s also for a good cause because you can plant REAL TREES once you get a certain amount of coins. Stay productive. Help Mother Earth as well.

Tide -  This app helped me to stay calm. The “breathe” option where it guides me to take deep breathes was effective in letting go of my anxious feelings! The “sleep” option helped me to fall asleep faster at night when I need to doze off already and it gave me good sleep because of the relaxing music that the app has. Also, the alarm that this app has helped me not to wake up feeling shocked (unlike the usual alarms in our phones!) The alarm increases in volume so you won’t wake up feeling so surprised because of the loud, nerve-wracking alarms. I hope you got what I was trying to say. Haha!

Headspace - Once I get up every morning, I allot a few minutes to meditate and clear my mind. So I can be ready for an exhausting day of reviewing. It also helped me to think more positively and to get rid of my fears, doubts, and whatnot!

Spotify - Studying with music really helped me remember things better and to stay focused. I highly recommend the Deep Focus playlist on Spotify! If all else fails, listen to Oceans by Hillsong and other Christian songs.

11. On the day of the exam:

Make sure you bring everything you need! (Especially your pencils and NOA)

Bring a jacket.

Make sure that your scantron won’t get crumpled, WET, or tampered!!! PROTECT YOUR ANSWER SHEET AT ALL COSTS. Keep it neat and tidy.

Manage your time well especially for Psych Assessment.

Make sure not to spill your drinks. I brought water and coffee (in case i feel sleepy) and drink away from your paper.

You may use the questionnaires as scratch papers. You can mark and write on them.

Make sure to READ THE QUESTIONS CAREFULLY. Some questions are meant to be confusing. Make sure that you know what they are asking for! (Be aware of the double negatives and look out for the words like “except”, “all but one” etc.

When in doubt, stick to the basics. Go back to the roots and basics of Psychology.

It’s better if you bring food to eat. Imagine that there will be thousands of takers. There will be long lines in the nearby restaurants.

Use your lunch break to rest. Don’t talk to your friends and discuss answers! It might ruin your confidence.

It won’t hurt to follow some superstitious beliefs! What’s there to lose right? I wore red underwear. I entered the room with my right foot first. I broke one pencil (donated the others) after the last exam and I never looked back on my seat once I passed my paper! But of course, your success won’t really be based on these but it gave me some sense of comfort and extra boost of luck, I guess.

PRAY. The Lord is with you. Trust His plans and remember that he answers prayers only with three ways: Yes, Not Yet, and I have something better in mind. Stand firm in faith.

12. After the exam, wait patiently.

I know it will be the most anxious-filled days. You will think that your nervousness will be gone after taking the exam but no. Your anxiety will still be through the roof! Remember to pray. Know that you did what you can. Be proud of yourself because months of studying wasn’t easy. Be proud of yourself too because not EVERYONE had enough courage to even try to take the board exam and that alone is already an achievement.

Those are what helped me to become a Registered Psychometrician. If you have questions and if want to ask for reviewers, don’t be afraid to message me through my Tumblr ask or Twitter DMs . I would be glad to help. I already have a Google Drive with compiled readings/powerpoints available for sharing anytime!

Good luck and do your best! Ora et labora.

[humanscandrivestick]

E.Q.--The Last Christmas

The last christmas for the boys before the defection.

December that year was hard on Felipe, hell the whole year was.  Arpeggio could see it in the languid lines of his shoulders, the often distracted answers, forgetting things.  Even coloring his hair was lazy these days, a flat red color for the last couple months.  

He was just....tired.  

"Fel?"

"Hm??"

"...never mind."

Arpeggio was trying to clear time for them to enjoy the holidays but it was hard.  As the illustrious Trancer 42, the hardest of busts and the most important of control situations usually went to them.  Gigs for election rallies.  World series games.  Tree lighting ceremonies being lined up like figurines in a collection.  He could reduce their office hours to only clocking in on gigs but even that felt exhausting.  Arpeggio had to admit it to himself one day as he glanced in the bathroom mirror.

Darkened circles beneath his eyes told a story of little restful sleep.  Even he felt his skin was paler than a clump of snow.

"Jesus, I look like death warmed over,"  he said to his reflection.  He recalled that Felipe had the same signs of exhaustion, and sighed.

"We both do."

~~~

Felipe lay across their couch that night, languid arm over his eyes as Arpeggio was making dinner.  Despite the fact they had made it back earlier than usual, 6 pm, it felt like 10 to the both of them.

"Fel, how much bacon do you want on this sandwich?"

"Uh...whatever," he replied.  His voice had the husk of soreness.  

He came out of the kitchen and set 2 plates with large sandwiches on their coffee table.  The faux redhead didn't even bother getting up for nearly a minute.

Arpeggio chewed his slowly as he spaced out by watching their window.  It had begun to rain, and the light caught the streetlights.  Amber beads rolled down the dark window.

"Pege," whispered Felipe.  

"Yes...?"

"I'm...I'm tired."  His voice sounded just....dead.

Used to deeper meanings to even the simplest of words, the Tchaikovsky's Child put his sandwich down and looked at his partner.  Feeling there is more, he stayed quiet.

"I....I'm tired.  I'm so damn tired."  His whisper had a small hitch in it.  

Arpeggio got up and sat next to him on the floor.  He, after nearly 16 years with someone who wore his emotions on his sleeve, still had trouble trying to find the right actions, words, or even music to communicate.  His shoulder rested gently against Felipe, the physical contact was what he hoped was the "right" response.  It bothered Arpeggio.  That he constantly had to question which responses to people, especially people close to himself, were "correct".

His partner moved his arm, looked down at Arpeggio who stared at him with his usual placid face though the eyes were concerned.  He took a deep breath and sighed.  

"I'm sorry.  ...I shouldn't complain.  You've been tired too."  He reached over and brushed some of his jet black hair from his forehead.  "You look practically clear these days, Pege."  He gave a half-hearted chuckle.  "You're gonna look like the visible man if you're not careful."

Arpeggio took his hand and gave it a squeeze.  "Fel.  You don't have to pretend.  Not around me.  Please.  Its....its heartbreaking...."

It was the last word that got Felipe.  That he used the word "heartbreaking".  His face quickly crumpled and he took a deep, shuddering breath before he started to cry.  It wasn't body wracking, but it was so full of despair.  

The fact he's so tired that he can't even cry as hard as he can see he wants to hurts Arpeggio to the core.  He gets off the floor to hold him, and he just pulls him into his embrace.  They sit in the living room, food cooling, just holding each other.  The raven-haired musician cried to himself too.  He couldn't tell if it was because he too felt so despairing and tired....or if he was feeling Felipe's emotions right through him.  Felipe ended up crawling into bed, and Arpeggio wrapped their dinners up, setting them next to the last 2 nights of dinner half eaten.  He crawled into bed behind him, and they both fell asleep.  

Arpeggio wept softly, holding Felipe.  It was a long, hard night.

~~~

They took the next 2 weeks off, and while Emi gave them a lot of grief over it, when Arpeggio told her it was final and set their armbands and badges on her desk, she accepted it with a grumble.  It was for show but it was a show she bought.  

"She works through every holiday, even Christmas," Felipe muttered.  "She ain't human, I swear."

"Agreed.  Now let's clean up the desks, we won't be back til after New Years."  Their office was pretty clean anyhow, but they packed up a few things from the desks.  Felipe was packing a secret, small, frankensynth into a box that Arpeggio pretended not to see, then stopped.  Like a jump cut, his body language changed from lighthearted if tired, to exhausted and completely drained.  His face was anguished.  He leaned on his desk, his head bent down as his flyaway hair obscured his eyes.  Small tears began to hit the desk.

"Fel?" Arpeggio asked, his voice really concerned.  

"Its...its not even done," he says between sobs.

"...What...isn't?"

"Your...your song.  I haven't gotten a single thing...not a single note."  He cried, softly, so no one would hear.  "I haven't gotten a single thing done....and I've tried.  I've tried so damn hard, Pege...but....nothing.  Nothing comes out."

Arpeggio takes a few seconds to let it sink in before he sets this box on the other desk and pulls him into another embrace.  He can't recall a recent time when he's felt he's had to hold Felipe so often.  Even his last nightmare cycle didn't require the amount of reassuring he had been doing lately.  

Or was he trying to reassure himself?  That by holding him, it would make things better, even for a short amount of time?

Or was he trying to keep his partner from falling to pieces?

"Let's go home, Fel.  We're tired."

Felipe nodded, dried his face, and after a few breaths, seemed to be calmer.  But the depressed aura around him hadn't evaporated, even a little.  If anything, it felt as if it had grown thicker.

~~~

Felipe let himself feel inconsolable for the next day or so.  Arpeggio could finally see how hard he must have been working to pretend he was just fine, if tired from the month, to everyone else.  Even to Trancer 8392.  Enough to even fool Tungsten.  He tried to get to the laptops, his synths, to try to get something out but he'd simply sit there and stare at the machines, his eyes faraway.  

Arpeggio ended up entirely scrapping the song he had started himself.  He admitted privately as he shredded the music sheets, that he hadn't liked a single thing he'd put down.  He kept working, as if it would resolve itself but it wasn't until Felipe had his small anxiety over his that he realized it wasn't really what he wanted to do with it.

They moped around the apartment for a few days, listlessly going about the motions of living, but neither of them really spoke much.  They gave up on the music for the time being.  It was the first time Arpeggio actually felt a rut he couldn't escape from.  Something told him that while it wasn't Felipe's first rodeo, this also wasn't a normal occurrence.  

Christmas Eve, they were sitting in the living room, instruments on the table.  They had been sitting next to each other, and everything had been listless, unproductive work.

Felipe finally cut to the chase, his voice deadened.  "You think...we're tapped?  Like...this is it?  We're...we're through?"

Arpeggio's heart skipped a few beats because he isn't sure what Felipe means by the word "through".  He looked at his partner and the alarm in his eyes must have made Felipe rethink what he said because his black eyes blinked in surprise.

"Not us," he said rushed.  "I mean....us.  Music.  I mean.  Work is...work."  He tried motioning with his hands.  "Work...you don't think, you just...do what they say you do, with the pieces they give.  Doesn't feel like making music.  So I don't mean that.  I mean...making music...."  He drifted off because he was frustrated that he can't articulate what he means.

But its something about what he said that made the TC put his hands up.

"Work...you don't think, you just...do what they say you do, with the pieces they give."

Felipe stopped talking.  Waited.

Arpeggio can hear it in his mind's ear.  He couldn't pinpoint the actual "when" it had started but he could hear it clearly.  When Trancer 42 had started, Felipe would bend the rules, bend the samples, making music but toeing the line between sanctioned Music Corps work and music.  There was life in their pieces, its what made them recognized, efficient....untouchable it seemed.

Then....after a long, long time...Felipe's hand was left deft.  More automatic, almost robotic.  Like the children's game where someone starts a gesture and everyone follows in such a way so that eventually you can't tell who started and who's just miming, he couldn't tell if it was the Corps "style" from his own training leaking into their style, or if he was taking cues from Felipe.

But at some point....Trancer 42 stopped making music...and had deftly fallen into line.

"...you just...do what they say you do, with the pieces they give."

This isn't the Felipe he knew.  Not anymore.

"When...did we stop making music...?"

Felipe KNEW exactly what he was asking because he himself was questioning it.  By the time he was able to notice....they'd been playing the MC's tune so long he couldn't tell when it started.

His face had a look of recognizing, melancholy, and something like relief.  "...Its...its not just me then."  It wasn't even a question.  It was a statement.

They say it at the same time, as if rushing to reassure the other: "I'm sorry."  It quiets them for a long time.  

Then, as if something in Felipe woke up after a long sleep, he snapped, "Well fuck that."  He took up one of the laptops and started on his music making program.

Arpeggio watched him for a bit before his partner glanced at him.  

"What?  Ain't we gonna jam?"

Arpeggio could see the barest of glimmers of that spark in his eye.  He gave him a small smile.  

"At least hook something up to record it."

It wasn't the most ideal Christmas, and the both of them knew something had changed.  Maybe something had changed so much that going back to the days they couldn't remember was now impossible.  But even Arpeggio knew something had changed.  Not between them, just around them.

A few months later, Arpeggio was staring at his partner, his face facing the window as they watch police cars finally pull away from their latest bust.  He's putting his violin back in its case after tuning it.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

They were the words he was expecting to hear.  He had a script to say, he knew what he had to do to defer this urge.  He knew what he was trained and told to say to keep him in the Music Corps, what he had to do to protect the Corps, protect its integrity, its grip on the world, at the cost of running their best musicians into the ground.

He's never told Felipe since they ran that he wasn't trying to see his resolve in leaving; he was planning this moment since that Christmas Eve.  He just never thought he'd be doing it the way it turned out.

"I want out, Pege."

[leelee10898]

Chikara: Ikari (5/?)

Ikari roughly translates to anger or hatred. Ellie finds out about Nicks troubled past, after dealing with her own demons. Colt obtains an important source of information.

Rating: Mature. Warning, mention of sexual assult, death, Murder, sexual situations and violence.

Ellie walked through the quad in the days following winter break, colts jacket pulled tightly against her body. Even with her wool hat she could hear the whispers, she felt eyes boring into her. Everywhere she went, they were talking about it, about her and what happened. She had kept to herself mostly,  just like the Ellie that showed up for summer session, broken and alone. Somehow Ingrid talked her i to getting some food with Kyle and Nick. She stood up to get a refill of her drink when she walked past two girls sitting at a table in front of the soda fountain. 

Thats her, the girl who got attacked. One if them said. 

Hmm shes probably just looking for attention. The other chimed in. 

Ellie had enough.  She walked up to the girls and stood in front of them "Excuse me, but have we met?" Ellie asked, the girls turned to look at her stunned. One of them rolled their eyes "ah no." She sucked her teeth and flipped her hair. "Oh? Because you seemed to know me enough to talk shit as I walked past." Ellie snapped. "We don't know you,  so keep it moving. Freak." The other rolled her eyes and motioned to move with her hands. 

Ellie felt the rage building within her. She tossed the soda in her hand on one of the girls, who shrieked.  She grabbed the other, the one with the smart mouth, by the back of the head and slammed her face down on the table. "Keep my fucking name out of your mouth, of the next time I'll break your fucking nose." 

She released her grip on the girl. "Come on, lets get outta here." Nick ran up, pulling her out of the restaurant.  They jumped in his car and speed off into town. They pulled up to a run down building, walked up a flight of stairs to a small apartment.  "Where are we?" Ellie asked as she looked around the small space. "Home. For now. Its not much, but its a place to lay my head." Ellie nodded, her time with the crew made her understand things most people never learned. 

"That was some display you put on back there." He chuckled as he reached in the fridge and grabbed two beers. "You just bring me here to lecture me on how not to act?" Nick shook his head. "Na, the opposite actually. " he held the beer towards her, she shook her head no declining.  Nick sat down on a chair, taking a sip of his beer. "When you were in the hospital, I heard you mentioned the brotherhood." 

Ellies blood ran cold, she could hear her heart beating in her ears. "No, I. I didn't." She lied, she was a terrible liar. "Ellie, I heard you. And If you know about them, if someone was after you because of them. Well, maybe we're not so different after all." Ellie sat down at the table with Nick, did he know something? Did he have a run in with them too? 

"Ok. So what if I did. How do you know about them?" She was cautious,  she never thought Jason would be a dirty cop, she trusted him enough since he was her dad's partner,  she never thought in her wildest dreams he would be the damned ring leader of the brotherhood. Nick let out a long sigh "I'll tell you,  but you gotta trust me enough to tell me your story too." Ellie considered his words, he did save her from being killed in that alley. "Deal." She held her hand out, which Nick shook. 

"I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, unlike most kids around I had both my parents,  and they loved each other. My dad, he was involved in some heavy stuff, he ran with a local crew. One day a powerful gang showed up and began to take over the smaller gangs, snuffing them out and forcing them to work for them. When they didn't comply, they punished them. My dad, he rose up, spoke out." Nick paused for a moment, Ellie watched the emotions flash across his face. "They killed him and a few others,  spared their families so they could spread the word, the brotherhood meant business." 

"Nick… im. Im so sorry." Ellie reached out to grab his hand.  "Don't be sorry Ellie. It happened a long time ago and ive made my peace with my dad's passing. What I want to know is how a smart, innocent girl like yourself, got tangled up with the brotherhood." 

Ellie took a deep breath,  nobody but the crew knew what had happened, not the full story. Yet she felt comfortable enough to bare it all to  Nick. "Well, it all started with a boy in a car and an asshole on a bike." 

Ellie filled him in on everything,  how kaneko sent Logan to gain intel to the take down, or so she thought, of Jason in the school parking lot." Visiting old wounds opened something within her, paired  with her new found aggression and drive she felt like she had awoken from a deep slumber. "I cant sit around and wait for the cops to not do their jobs. I have to do something,  to take that asshole Shaw down once and for all!" Ellie pounded her fist against the table. "I've been doing some digging into possible brotherhood operations in town, but my hacking skills are limited." She sighed. "You need a hacker." A smile formed on Nick's face.

Ellie turned facing him, she knew that look,  it was the same one Colt would give her when they hatched a plot, there was no turning back now.  Ellie knew exactly what she needed to do. "I need a crew." Nick leaned forward, hands on the table. "And I know just where to find one."

*******

Los Angeles, California….

Colt sat in front of the Laptop, a red bull in his hand. He had been awake for 2 days straight, no signs of sleep in the horizon. Ximena had come to stay with him, they melted down her SUV so there were no traces for the brotherhood to find it. She immediately lifted a new one, black and bigger. They had made a little headway on hunting wallace down. The Kaneko name held weight, Teppei's self sacrifice spread through the alleys and back roads like wildfire. His courageous act, dubbed him as a saint amongst the crime world and left his heir to be feared by many. Colt was young, and more ruthless than his father. Everyone wanted to be in his good graces. 

A neighboring crew shed a little information about a possible underground operation the brotherhood had been running. An old sawmill on the west side of town had seen a lot more activity in recent months. Colt combed blue prints, scouted the location, the surveillance was an issue. It was old, easy to hack into but the picture quality was lacking. He tried to find A surrounding camera to view but hadn't had much luck.  "Fuck. This is ridiculous." he hollered, tossing the laptop onto the couch next to him. 

He rubbed his hands down his face in frustration.  He allowed his mind to wander there. Wondering what she was doing in that exact moment. He counted down the days until he could be with her, He had to be with her. Ximena walked in, a bag of takeout in hand. "You look like shit. You slept any since I left?" Colt shook his head.  "Cant sleep, not til I can get a better look at that warehouse." 

Ximena tossed a plate in front of him, a burger and fries,  She picked up the laptop and plopped down on the couch. "Ok, you eat. Let me see what I can do." 

After a few minutes she spoke up "got it. Just needed to position this camera that way and.." her eyes went wide. "Colt, you're gonna wanna come see this." Colt shot up standing over ximenas shoulder.  "That son of a bitch. He's there?" Before she could say a word Colt was already out the door and on his bike. He speed across town, weaving in and out of traffic. By the time he got there, the building was quiet.  He did find a familiar person. Colt grabbed him by the shirt and tossed him up against the brick wall. "Where is he?" He seethed. "Who. I don't know who you're talking about." 

"Wallace. Where the fuck is he?" Colt cocked his fist back. "I don't know. He left. He's gone." The man cried out. Colts fist connected with his face. "Ok, ok. I'll cooperate." Colt loosened his grip on him. The man opened his mouth to speak, then turned bolting for the door. Son of a bitch Colt huffed as he ran after him. He made it to the door in just enough time to see the guy get close lined, falling to the ground hard. "I don't remember asking for backup." He sneered "yeah, well looks like you needed it." Ximena snorted. Colt hovered over the man, Ximena knocked him out cold. "Were taking him." Ximena arched her brow. "Colt-" she warned. "Not the first time we kidnapped someone, probably won't be the last and We need answers.  You wanted in, this is in." Ximena shook her head. "Ok boss. I got rope in the truck. Lets get him loaded up before someone sees." 

Colt and Ximena pulled up to a run down house, it was one of the safe houses Kaneko had set up in case the heat got to bad in the city. It was outside of La and the best part it was remote. Ximena tossed. Bucket of water on the man as he jolted awake. "What? Where am I?" He fidgeted in his seat, trying to move his restrained hands. "Horacio Salazar." The man whipped his head to the other side of the room. "That's not my name." He spat.  "Sure it is. I know all about you Horacio. I know about your wife Maria. Your two kids Nico and Emalina. Even your little dog scruffy." Colts lips twisted into a sinister smirk as he watched the color drain from Horacio's face. "What do you want? 

"I just want a little information on a mutual acquaintance, Wallace. I want to know everything you know about him." Colt circled like a vulture. "I don't know nothin." 

Colt stopped, staring at the man before him. His hands crossed against his chest. 

"You aren't related to Emilio Salazar are you?"

Horacio lifted his head to look at Colt. "He was my cousin. Why?" 

"He helped my crew out with something. It's a shame what happened to him. I don't know if I would have the stomach to work for the crew that killed my cousin" He smirked "but that's just me." He turned his head, his smile twisted into a bone chilling curl. He was enjoying this more than he should, he knew he knee horacio would cooperate, but he needed him to want them dead, just as much as Colt did. 

A few minutes went by in silence before Horacio finally opened his mouth to speak. "Alright, fine. I'll tell you what I know." Colt flashed ximena a wicked smile.  "Ok Horacio, tell what you know."

Langston….. Nick led Ellie down a dimly lit hall of a warehouse on the outskirts of town. She could hear the bass thumping on the other side of the metal door. She gave Nick a questioning look. "You needed a crew, this is our first step." She nodded as he opened the door. She expected a cold, open space with some tattered old couches, and dirt. Instead the are was fully furnished with leather couches and chairs. A dj played some up tempo music as a few people danced.  They weaved in and out of people before they approached a large, muscular man standing in front of a sectioned off room. Nick whispered something in his ear, he nodded and let them pass. "Rubywrecker? We have a proposition for you." Nick spoke to the hooded figure sitting in front of 4 laptops with their backs turned to them. "Not interested. Who let you back here?" She spoke, not bothering to turn around. "Oh, I think you'll be interested. Especially when it comes to matters of a certain brotherhood."  

The woman stood, slowly turning around. "Not here. But if it has anything to do with taking them down. Im intrigued." She smiled. "Then I think you'll like what we have to say." Ellie stepped forward, it was finally happening. She was forming her crew, her vision closer to becoming a reality. The brotherhood was going to get what they deserved, one way or another. 

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[nowitsdarkfic]

chapter twenty-five (at lars’ place)

I fall right onto my shoulders on something soft, but at the same time, I can't believe I don't break my neck somersaulting forward. I'm laying face down on some kind of plush carpet that smells of lemons and fresh raspberries. I lift my head to find myself in a small brightly lit bedroom with a shaggy bright red carpet and a twin size bed with a scarlet red bedspread. There's red and white pinstriped wallpaper upon the walls that makes me think of peppermint candy. I catch the sound of rain pattering on the roof overhead.

“Lars?” I grunt out, my neck throbbing with a bit of pain from landing there. I set my hands on the carpet on either side of me and push myself up. My head spins a bit as I'm standing on my knees. I then take a glimpse over at the top of the bed and I spot Lars laying there flat on his back with his legs spread wide open.

“Lars?” I groan as I curve my back away from the foot of the bed. “Are you alright, man?”

“Yeah—” he breathes out. He hoists himself up on his elbows to better look at me.

“I got spun around in circles,” he recalls, blinking several times, probably the dizzy feeling inside of him.

“I landed right on my neck,” I tell him, stretching my arms over my head and feeling the hem of my shirt rise up with me—something about that coupled with the feeling of having a lot of food inside of me. I glance about the room, at the spindly nightstand next to him and the heavy dark red dresser up against the wall right next to me. In front of me is a tiny kitchenette with a small table and a wine cellar in between the two main cabinets and over the sink; on the right of me stands a door leading to what I'd think is the bathroom. I turn around to see the small square window and the red and white plaid drapes covering them, hiding them away from the gray blue sky outside.

“Where are we?” I ask him, my voice breaking.

“New Orleans.” He swallows as he runs his fingers through the bit of hair on the side of his head. “The French Quarter, to be specific. This is my little apartment that my wife doesn't know about. I usually come here when the going gets rough and I feel like no one will listen. I made the mistake of coming here last summer during a category—I think three, hurricane, but at the same time, I loved the city, though. I thought it was rather lovely and it proves to be quite the quiet place when I'm in need of it. I try to come here when there's news of a hurricane or at least a tropical storm coming in.”

“The storms keep you here,” I follow along, resting my forearms atop my head. “Like, they ground you.”

“Right! The house in Portland? That's our place. This little room here? My place. Lars' place. Downstairs is a restaurant and a bar so when I come here alone, I can just sleep here and hang out down there.”

He sits upright so as to better swing his legs over the edge of the bed: his shirt underneath his coat has ridden up his body a little bit, but I don't think he cares one way or the other. I set my arms down and climb up to my feet myself. I make my way over to the window to take a look for myself. Rain drops coat the pane on the outside, while the sky is a solid bluish gray and all the buildings out there are of bright colors. Where Seattle had the plain blocks of black and gray only to be made up with the neon lights, New Orleans has all the colors of the rainbow and then some accompanied with twinkling golden lights shining onto the wet street down below. I catch a glimpse of a draw bridge beyond the line of bars and flats across the street from us, lighting up with those exact same golden lights; beyond that is a sliver of dark gray.

“There's indeed a hurricane coming in in the next couple of days,” Lars notes. “A category one or two, I believe.”

“So I better make myself comfy,” I conclude, sighing through my nose. Meanwhile, I can't get the image of what happened in the library out of my mind. Maya transformed into a monster and now everything I have known about her has gone completely sideways. My only hope is the wormhole closed so she can't follow us here to the safe place.

“Think I should call my parents?” I suggest to him, letting go of the curtain and turning to find him taking a wine bottle out of the cellar. “You know, like tell them where I am?”

“Do your parents know about wormholes?” he asks, peering over his shoulder to show his raised eyebrows at me: he's setting the bottle on the counter top in front of him.

“No. Not that I know of.”

“I don't believe it is something they would understand, to be honest. Now, if it's something like—calling them to say that you're in New Orleans with a friend, that might be a little more believable, but—do they know about your friend at all?”

“No.”

“Tell them when the storm passes and you can crawl back to Oswego.”

“Why should I wait 'til the storm passes?”

He pauses, pursing his lips at me. “Well, first of all, you just got here, man. And I don't want you to return home having experienced what you just experienced to not have time to reflect over.”

“Yeah, Maya turned into a... a monster.”

He turns the bottle around so I can read the label beholding the word “sarsaparilla”. Well, that's a relief. “She had left your other friends' house through a wormhole that hadn't closed all the way, and I guess she was looking for you to help her protect her from—something. It was at night so my guess is she had a night terror. But she ran into me, and I offered to help her, but she's scared of me. She kept calling for you.”

“Calling for me. Like... calling my name?”

“Yeah, like a girl looking for her lost dog. I followed her towards another wormhole and we wound up near the university. I saw Matt right behind me, and she was right behind him. He told me you were in there with Dominique and so I ran in to fetch you.”

“She kept calling for me, though,” I point out, stepping closer into the kitchenette.

“Yeah. It was—a little disturbing, to be honest. Because I told her 'I'll take you to Joey, I promise', and she went, 'no! You're lying! You're lying just like how Papa lied to me!' and she ran off into the wormhole.”

“Papa,” I repeat.

“Papa. And it took me aback, like what? Maya, I know you. What're you talking about?”

I think about Dominique's research, and the fact Maya has gone through so many foster homes in her life. Makes me wonder about her own parents now.

“Anyways, hang tight—” he tells me, raising a finger. “I need to borrow the good corkscrew from the young lady downstairs.”

He leaves the bottle there on the counter and ducks out of the front door into the dim corridor outside there. I'm left alone in the room with the sound of the rain outside continuing to patter away on the rooftop. The whole apartment is spotless, so clean that I could probably eat something off of the floor if Lars willed it. But I also spot something black and yellow on the edge of the faucet. I put my finger on it to get it off and it doesn't smell of anything, but the texture reminds me of slime mixed with mud.

“Ewww—yech—”

I turn the dial and no water flows out of the faucet. I don't know what this goop is, but it's gross and it's spreading over my fingers as if it has a mind of its own.

“I have to wash my hands,” I say aloud, running out the door into the hallway. “I have to wash my hands!”

Dim amber light washes over the heavy dark wood upon the floor. There are three other doors next to Lars' place, but I don't know if anyone's home.

“Anyone got a faucet?” I call out into the hallway. The one on the far end swings open and an older lady with a short bob of white hair and leathery looking skin emerges from bit of white light.

“What's th' matter, hon?” she says to me in a thick Southern accent.

“I've got this sticky sludgy stuff on my hand and it won't come off. I have no water.”

I show her my hand and the sight of the stuff covering three of my fingers.

“Oh, dear—c'mon on in, hon—”

She guides me inside where I'm met with a stark room and the smell of cleaner. Her body is frail, more frail than Maya's, but she's taking me into the small kitchen. She leans me over the sink with my hand right underneath the narrow tarnished faucet. Her hands shaking, she slips on a pair of yellow rubber dishwashing gloves before taking my hand and sticking it under the faucet.

“This is gonna be real hot, alright?” she advises me, clasping onto my wrist.

“Yeah—” Using her other hand, she turns on the hot water. I brace myself and snap my eyes shut because I know it's going to be so painful.

But it starts out cold, and then warms it way up so I'm acquainted with it. And then it begins to feel really hot, almost to where it's burning.

I clutch my teeth together and peek through one eye at the sight of the slime falling right off of my skin. I watch it flow away with the water down the drain.

“Okay—” she mutters, turning on the cold water. I breathe through my lips as the feel of it soothes me so much.

Once it's obvious the stuff on my hand is now gone, she switches off the water and reaches next to her for a dish towel. Ever so gently, she dabbles my hands dry.

She gazes into my face with grave dark eyes, the whites of which are as yellow as butter. I stand upright to take a closer look at her face and the gaps in the hair all around the crown of her head.

“Are you alright?” she asks me; I look even closer to see a few gaps in her teeth.

“Yeah… what even was that?”

“Banana slug. Been rightly seein' 'em a lot lately, ever since th' machines came 'n' went outta here back in th' springtime. They're almost moo-tated 'cause of 'em.”

“Because of—heavy machinery.”

“Real advanced, the real kinda thing ye'd see in th' future at some point er another. Slugs 'er gettin' crazy, climbin' on everythin' and suckin' things dry, almost like parasites.”

“My God.”

“Yeah. I'd be more worried 'bout a young'un like yerself ta be honest. Yer gon' be seein' them all the time after th' fall of them more pieces of machines.”

“Joey?” Lars' voice floats in from down the hall.

“—I'll getcha some aloe vera, if ye'd like,” she continues. “Always helps me, 'specially now.”

“Uh, yeah. Yes, please.”

“Joey?” he calls out again, and this time he pokes his head in from the corridor. “What're you—”

The lady catches sight of him and gasps.

“Oh—Lars, right?” she greets him, still holding onto my wrist. “I didn't think I'd see ya again.”

“Oh. Hello, Ellen. I—” He swallows as he straightens himself out there in the doorway and with a corkscrew in his hand. “—I didn't think you'd still be alive.”

“Oh, come on, man,” I plead to him.

“Joey, this is—Ellen. I met her when I came here last year. Very sick then.”

“An' even sicker now.” She turns to me and lets go of my wrist. “I'll get you that aloe.” She strips off the gloves once Lars enters the apartment with a serious expression on his face.

“Man, I am just learning something new about you every day it seems,” I remark, still clutching my hand.

“I've bounced around a lot in the past few years,” he confesses, pressing his free hand to his hip. “Metallica has really come a long, long way, my friend.” He frowns at the sight of the red skin on my hand. “What happened to you?”

“Black mud sludge shit from a banana slug. I saw a bit of it on your faucet and I went to wipe it off with my finger, it was like—coming over my hand like some mutant slime.”

“Holy shit. Oh, yeah, that's right. They turned off the water at my place.”

“Why's that?”

“Forgot to pay the bill. But banana slugs, though?”

“They're changin' in th' aftermath of machines havin' been here,” Ellen explains as she returns to the room with a bottle of green aloe gel. Lars bows his head and knits his eyebrows together.

“Machines, like—hyper advanced ones?”

“Yeah. Lotsa neon an' bright lights. A lotta th' marine life 'round Nawlins is goin' that way, too. It's almost impossible ta fish now without findin' a creature with extra heads, er limbs, er th' like. Slugs 'n' snails have taken it th' worst, 'cause they're th' smallest.”

Lars and I gape at each other, and I know he's thinking what I'm thinking. She spreads a little blotch of the cool aloe gel all around my fingers and the pads of my hand, but does nothing more than that.

“You finish it up, hon—I need ta lie down.”

I rub my hands together as she trudges into the next room and onto the sterile looking couch that's in there. Lars turns around to me with an alarmed look on his face.

“Marine life is mutating in the wake of the neon lights and all the crisp perfection,” he notes in a low voice.

“That's not gonna be good for Seattle,” I point out, interlocking my fingers.

“That's not going to be good for anybody.”