#everything i draw feels bad or uninspired

[vvanillavveins]

On the WTNV finale:

Look, i like Brinknor. They helped me fall back in love with Night Vale when i was feeling particularly uninspired. It's hard to put it into words; i have adhd & i struggle to remember big intricate plots unless something reoccurring has really grabbed hold of my attention, and before Brinknor, i was struggling to sink my teeth into anything attention-holding, so to speak. I guess i was becoming less enthusiastic in Night Vale's storyline as time went on, even though i couldn't really work out why. I just couldn't stop tuning out. But, with Brinknor, there came a bunch of shiny new plotpoints- at a faster pace. The show could actually hold my focus properly, and my wtnv fixation was suddenly up & running again.

All this is to say that i know it's just my impatience talking when i say that i wish that the loose ends of those new, interesting plotpoints had been tied up a little more by episode 250. I adore the way they write about Cecil's childhood and his family, and i want Kevin & The Boy's arc to be given the same amount of love, and attention, and time that the Palmer siblings' arc got. The same goes for Tamika. And Carlos. And Lauren, actually. Yes, i know she was a central figure in the last 2 episodes, and i loved that because she's one of my favourite characters. I fucking adore eldritch Mother Lauren. But still, it was all too vague to really learn anything new about her or the desert otherworld. And, above all else, i can't help but think of how wonderful it would've been if Charles and Donovan were included in the finale- especially Donovan.

When Kevin first came back in 2023, one of my silly little hcs as to why he was apparently in the Smiling God's bad books (and why he didn't mention Charles or Donovan) was that because Charles & Donovan aren't from Desert Bluffs they haven't devoted themselves to the Smiling God like the rest of the townsfolk. They wouldn't "smile" properly. One of my darker ideas at the time was the possibility of Kevin having to choose between making them part of his faith, i.e., making them "smile" like the rest of Desert Bluffs (which i doubt he'd go through with after his mudstone abyss arc), or having Charles & Donovan leave town (which i doubt they'd go through with), or, doing neither & keeping quiet about his life with them to avoid drawing attention. If he chose the latter and then got found out, it would make sense that he'd stop being the Smiling God's favourite. Obviously, i never thought any of that was correct- i was just having fun- and i was excited to find out the real story further down the line.

But that didn't happen, and we still don't really have many answers. Everything to do with Kevin, and Lauren, and The Boy got wrapped up in about 10 minutes flat. We've already had an emotional Fatherhood themed episode with Cecil & Abby; we didn't need another one just for the sake of it.

With the context of what we already know about Kevin's father, the ending of episode 250 was just uncomfortable. Sure, Kevin's talked about his father positively before, but that's always been in contrast with the actual content of his memories. It's always been made clear that the script/the writers disagree with Kevin's sunny outlook, and therefore the listeners should too. Those moments are there to demonstrate just how fucked up Kevin really is, and that his positivity is just a coping mechanism. But this time Cecil spoke for him, so we didn't get Kevin's usual sing-song rambling. It was calm, and collected, and matter-of-factly. And this time there were no sugar-coated descriptions of abuse, only genuine praise. We were actually supposed to agree with him this time, and it made the whole speech (and ending) sound hollow and forced.

I really didn't like this episode. It felt rushed. It tried to cover far too much far too quickly, and it failed. But, despite all that, i am hoping that future episodes will bring some sort of clarity about what happened. And hopefully some closure about Kevin and his family, too. I want loose ends to get tied up properly and i believe that maybe, with time, the important ones will be. Slow burning subplots are kinda quintessential to Night Vale's writing at this point anyway. Brinknor definitely missed the mark with this one, but they're still incredibly talented writers and i'm not ready to give up on them like some of the other fans on here.

Besides, i think that some of Night Vale's worst episodes are still incredible pieces of writing in their own right. The bad episodes are only bad in comparison to the dozens upon dozens of absolutely phenomenal episodes that make up the rest of a show that is, for the most part, a joy to listen to. So, here's to some hopefully better episodes in the future, i guess.

[reaganlodge]

i'm going to art school rn for illustration, STRUGGLING with art block, and seeing your art reminds me it's supposed to be fun and rewarding and not painful and stressful. thank you

Hey thanks for supportive comments. It's always massively encouraging for me to hear! If it's any help, I've always thought of "art block" as something that just doesn't exist. (I'll be speaking in terms of "this is how I do it, feel free to try it", not "this is how YOU SHOULD do it".) You can be depressed, sick, fatigued, unmotivated or struggling with focus/attention issues (speaking as someone both ADHD + TBI with tinnitus, I struggle daily with the latter), etc. or any other number of things that make it hard to draw. But "art block" doesn't exist as its own thing. I DO know "art block" is often just a shorthand term, when you rationally know it's something more specific confounding your drawing time. But in my experience that added layer of obfuscated nomenclature makes it harder to address the core problem. Also I generally treat art/storymaking the same way I treat going to the gym. I might be HUGELY demotivated, uninspired, unfocused, stressed or depressed that day, but I know for a fact that I will feel WORSE if I don't show up and at least try. Even if it ends up being a lousy, weak lifting/drawing session, the ONE thing I can hold on to is the knowledge that I overcame resistance to simply GET STARTED and put in the work I could. Getting started is always the hardest part. Everything after that is just building and maintaining momentum. Besides, you never know when a bad day's work session might surprise you with good results. Something a friend who's a competitive Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter and bodybuilder once said something I hang on to: "Success doesn't come just from being the best at something. Sometimes it's about being too dumb to quit." It's the same with art. Take breaks, rest and recover, but don't let a recent loss convince you to skip out on practice and let your creative muscles atrophy. Anyways thanks again, and I hope there's some nugget of useful info in this for any of you!

[busymagpie]

Heyo people :)

I've been gone for a hot minute.

I'm sorry if I worried some people, but I can assure you I'm doing fine.

Let me explain:

Do you know that feeling when you don't reply to a text because you just don't have enough energy for it at the moment so you want to wait? But you wait and wait and wait and at some point it feels like a task that's impossible to do so you keep waiting in hopes of a sudden burst of energy that will bring you back on track?

It's kinda like that. I was lacking creative energy, drawing wasn't as fun anymore (it still isn't quite as much fun as it was before) and everything I drew just looked bad and uninspired to me. There were also other things that happened - some good, some meh. I'm not as happy with my job anymore, mainly because I studied something that I cannot apply there. I joined an indie game project that's purely on a volutary basis right now, but it's still taking up some of my free time. I got a boyfriend now, who's the sweetes guy I know and I'm happy he liked me back. And I also figured out that I needed to work on my portfolio if I ever wanted to apply for other jobs.

All in all things were/are time consuming and some things even drained me of any energy to even open the app for more than a second or two.

But I miss it and I really wanna get back into making art and sharing it and interacting with all of you.

I don't know how long it's gonna take me and I'm sure everything's gonna take a bit longer, because my energy level is still not back to where it was and my creative juices are not flowing as smoothly anymore. But I'm trying :) Oh and I'm sorry for taking a while to respond.

[fipindustries]

I think I might have asked before, but what exactly are One Piece's problems? I know about the wonky anatomy of the female characters and the time Oda defended a pedo, but what are the other issues?

ok, first of all i dont want us to brush over the atrocious female anatomy in display because it is really that fucking egregious and almost dealbreaking on its own. this is the one true proof we need that just "practisce" is worthless as an artist, the guy has been drawing women every day for 20 years and he has just gotten worse at it. there are also some more subtle forms of sexism in the story like how many women are captains in the story (i think like.... uhhhh.... two??? and one of them is this big fat giant ugly hag villain, the other is a child who for plot reasons has the body of a super sexy 20 something year old and the sexy clothes to match but she is a child) and other details here and there that are a bit too subtle for me to really want to go into.

so that aside, is just kind of a death of a thousand cuts. the cast is too bloated and after a while they just become irrelevant, the time decompression is brutal and things that should be resolved in one issue will take ten, after a while the fights just become boring and uninspired, the way luffy defeats every villain is just that he punches them like really really hard.

i want to harken back to the characters because honestly the interactions between the main characters are basically non existant. how does franky feel about tony, for example? how about the dynamic between usopp and, say, brook? tony has basically not been a character since before the time skip. everyone has become a very simplified version of themselves until an arc shows up where we now can explore another interesting facet of this character but that happening is so far inbetween that it becomes incredibly tedious to read.

is just tedious in general, is so big and bloated and over the top and slooooow that its just hard to care anymore. there are a hundred things happening in the background but nothing is really happening on a chapter to chapter basis. and the characters have stopped being really characters a long while ago.

luffy is kind of a thoughtless brute that does what he wants without asking permission or saying sorry and conquers everything by sheer bravado and punching really hard and he always has that dumb cocky smile with him, there is this general glorification of brute strength and being the biggest most awesome badass who rolls over everything by sheer confidence and force of will, (but you cant be mean about it because that is bad) there is this idea that you can just "project force" (or haki*) and the rest of the world just kind of bows to that. its very shonen, is my point, in the teenage sort of immature awesome cool anime way that gets hard to stomach after a while, it starts feeling really dumb. its a thousand chapters of that.

*also haki is just really stupid in general. the gum gum fruits provided a lot of cool interesting power dynamics and problem solving to fights but now you can just use haki which is this vague idea of how confident/determined/sheer presence you have and the characters can just arbitrarily have however much they need in order to win a fight and it always trumps fruit devil powers and is just like who fucking cares except children who are so excited that luffy reached super sayin level over 9000 or whatever

[chartmyfixations]

cris watches dr. who: s02e11 - "Fear Her"

"Everything's coming up Doctor!"

It being the 2012 Olympics is such a mindfuck: for me, it feels like the same past as 2006 (late high school/early student life), but here it's the semi-nearby future. I keep reminding myself they're not dealing with a Current Events Episode, but Semi-Future One

Hey! It's the PM's assistant from Love Actually

Hee. He put the TARDIS the wrong way around

Hey! The road worker is also from Love Actually

Angry barbed wire -- thank god these special effects are styllistically bad and not accidentally bad

Maybe they're still accidentally kind of bad

“Are you deducting?” Hee

Live Long and Dr!

The Dr doesn't like cats, Rose does. This will never work out

Hee. That stash of pencils must be the most innocent hidden stash in any kid's bedroom ever

Aw, a girl and her pickaxe. Go Rose go

You know, Isolus/possessed girl, if you'd drawn a smaller earth, your plan would have worked

Oh god, I just realized that this episode is the one where a little girl menacingly draws a picture of the earth

MOM! You're very useless, I must say

This is like a counterpart to the episode where Rose gets stuck in the telly. They're both pretty low budget, deal with family life and a pivotal, televised UK-event. Here, the Doctor gets sidelined, in the other one, Rose does. Also, they're both not particularly great episodes

Ominous foreshadowing! Is Rose leaving soon? But I've already fallen in love with her

Btw, what is with this string of bad, uninspired episode titles? This and the last one are super generic

5 out of 8 TARDES. It gets a pass, but just barely

[rdbrainz]

I just found you through some Bleach tags today and I love your art! Zanni is so cute, I love the jester vibes. Would you be willing to share some tidbits about Zanni? If not, I'm a big fan of Shinji. Do you have any hca about him and the rest of the Vizard crew?

Thanks!! Tbh rn I can't add much to what I've written about Zanni so far without telling about the other members of my arrancar troupe but I hope soon enough I'll bring myself to drawing them... Anyway I'm glad you loved him! It means a lot when my designs gain positive attention 🤧 Here's what I have for Shinji:

I think everything that happened with Aizen really took a great toll on him. Ofc Shinji is not the kind of person to show how he's really feeling and the only one he puts the blame on now is Sosuke but for the hundred years that he was in the world of the living every time it was raining he stayed in bed until late afternoon. Literally just lying and doing nothing with music in the background because he felt terrible. No matter how much he tried the rain really did bring the blues out of him and sometimes it had gotten so bad he felt physically ill. Probably because it had been raining a lot when they ended up in Karakura. This habit of his kinda returned once he was in the position of the captain again because he felt like he was not supposed to be there. For the first couple of months his higher-ranking officers had to do EVERYTHING for him on rainy days.

His love language is acts of service... when the person he likes is doing something for him of course. Sometimes he would literally whine so they would cook for him or something like that but he is very grateful if they give into this stupid game. He would snoop around to check on them and sometimes even sneak up on them to look over their shoulder and say something silly.

Speaking of love I think he's very good at unconsciously studying and remembering the habits of the other person. If they do the same and for example don't try to wake him up when it's very cloudy and just leave the tray with breakfast on the bedside table/floor for him to eat later then he's head over heels. It means a lot to him when people take him seriously at all times even though he does and says stupid things a lot.

The last two paragraphs may be the reason why he was very into Kensei at one point lmao

Others:

Kensei has always been very popular among both women and men. I mean look at this guy!! Though it's a source of a lot of stress for him because 1) "My eyes are up here... have some fucking respect" and 2) he's actually very old-fashioned when it comes to love and attraction. Casual flings because he happened to be attractive to someone is NOT his thing. What happened to courting your love interest and all that?..

Sometimes Rose would sing for others. It didn't happen a lot because he didn't exactly get much inspiration in the situation they were in and he knew for sure other vizards couldn't always be in the mood for some music. It was far too cramped and noisy already for something like that and Shinji had already taken the role of the person who was going to annoy everybody with noise. Once they returned to Gotei he hoped it would change but with the sheer amount of work that waited to be done it was deemed impossible. Too busy, too tired, too uninspired. Who sings just for themselves anyway? Though I think if someone asked he would be soo happy to play or sing something for them

Lisa knows EVERYTHING about other vizards. Sometimes she would pick up on things even faster than them. She's not being creepy about it ofc. Well... Usually. But if she thought it could help someone or herself she's gonna use it either for them or against them.

[hollisartsblog]

Sorry for the long post, I just felt like I needed to get it out, if you want to read I'd be happy, if not, it's okay!

reading for the first time after almost 5 years what I used to write and think about late at night, and now I feel like doing it again, trying to find the right words.

I wanna talk about being in the moment as an artist, appreciating what you do, and not giving a fuck. (and loving ur young self)

I spent my teenage years drawing and posting here, so I had a lot to read tonight and to think about.

have u ever experienced that strange feeling, where you are like "wow. I was actually so beautiful and smart, who could have ever hated me?"

I was a completely different person, and maybe I miss that little girl, and maybe I hate her even a little. now, I'm not here to talk like I'm in a psychoanalyst's deckchair, of course. but I'm here, to resume the beautiful, however embarrassing in my opinion, habit of writing my most intimate thoughts (shareable, of course) that cross my mind at night, because maybe they can help someone, because we are never alone. just as they helped you years ago, just as it has helped me re-reading them now after all this time. I've had some crazy years. I was young, I was passionate and genuinely free to do whatever I wanted. I had friends, I had just sold a self-published book, I had "fans", I was "successful", I had good grades, I had a girlfriend, yet I wasn't happy. I know it sounds like the usual sweet story about happiness and self-satisfaction, but I don't think so (and even if it was, well, here we are ;) ) I didn't realize how necessary EVERYTHING that was happening to me was.

artists have a huge difficulty accepting that sometimes we have to look inside and accept that we have to constantly learn, instead we are always in a hurry to be perfect, to get likes, to earn, but that's not how it goes. I was literally 16 and already thinking about this, thinking I must be good enough to please everyone.

spoiler: you can never do that.

as I said years ago, our eyes are not the right eyes to judge us.

appreciate the compliments, don't dismiss them with an embarrassed smile. appreciate the effort and hours put into a work even if it is bad for you. hug your self when after a bad day you still have the courage to do what you love. being an artist is beautiful, but a huge burden, especially for us. remember that when our insecurities take over, we are not lucid.

yes, that drawing u posted that got 8 likes made 8 people feel something. how amazing is that?

yes, it will be fine, that text you wrote will be something new in someone's eyes, it won't be something read and re-read to make it perfect. you will amaze and make someone fall in love with what u did.

internet is an amazing place, and sometimes it's not. I got myself into a really bad place because I was too immature and too impatient to immediately be the artist I always felt I was, but NO ONE is after you with a clock ticking away time.

you really think someone care about how much time does it take you to get to your goal? why should it matter? I'm not going to list every single successful person who actually made it and tell you "look! they were poor now they are rich, so u can do it!". i'm telling you to always love the process; I would've punched myself in the face, I hated when adults told me this phrase, but it's true: everything pass. you are not gonna be like this forever. you are gonna love what you do one day, and love life because life takes but gives.

(tw: mental health) I spent years between psychologists and suicidal thoughts, I was never enough, and my art not only made me feel miserable, but it was one of the first reason I fell into depression. it always reminded me how plain, boring, and uninspired I was.

there was never anything that was right in what I did, every comment and every ask you sent me had no weight for me, they meant nothing because I didn't I believed in myself, yet I should have tasted it. now I reread them crying, not believing what I read. I was talented, man, I was full of ideas, I was amazing. I lost that spark, because of fear, of waiting for the right moment. i sabotaged myself because i was afraid of judgement, of pressure, when i had love around me, everywhere.

now I'm in Florence, far from home, studying in a private academy of animation and digital art. would I ever have thought that? absolutely no. I deserve it? Yes. because I, like you artists, have grown, we have learned, and I'll tell you this once and for all: do not give up. things are really getting better. now I'm not saying that because I magically healed and I love my art all of the sudden (unfortunately, I still really struggle) but please don't look at likes, followers. you're good, just because you love what you do, literally that's all that matters. I took a long break, now 2 years, because, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was starting to hate what I was doing, it had become an obligation, a simple circle to mark before going to sleep on the to-do list. to alone.

16 years old. and it wasn't right.

love what you do, take breaks, post without checking a thousand times, show your work, accept compliments. you have created something, and that is enough.

look at you past as an amazing book you just read, the satisfaction coming from all the pages you already read and learnt from, now you are a different person thanks to them. look at you future with the same excitement when you still have a lot of those pages to read.

[cinderbuck]

Death Save Bargain Bin, Page 10

Hm, not a very inspired layout, but passable, I think. The original rough layout was really boring, so I tried changing it up. Thinking back, it was probably a bad idea to draw out all the rough rough layouts in one day. They got more and more uninspired the further into the pages I got.

My initial plan was to just have the imp, who goes by the name Trish, terrorizing Galdrus (the dwarf), but I couldn't resist adding more of Greetings (the Cambion).

Trish, short for Trishul, which I believe is another word for trident, was a traveling companion for my character in one of the previous adventures my D&D group played.

Long rant ahead about our old D&D adventure, feel free to skip this:

It was Out Of The Abyss, and my character died in the very first session because the merciless adventure stated that the last person down the rope gets a slime (black ooze or something, I don't remember, it's been years) falling on their head, and dies. Can't make death saves or anything, just melts, dead forever, RIP. (If anyone plans on playing this adventure, I highly recommend not following the book too much. Use it more as a guideline than an actual instruction manual. It's infuriating at times.) It was a bit of a bummer, I had plans for my wizard-Gnome.

Had to make a new character, and in this campaign we all decided to roll our base stats on a D20. I didn't really have time to plan my next character, as we were currently playing, and my rolls were mediocre, so I made Penjamin the Average Man, not thinking he'd survive very long.

Just for fun, while I waited for the DM to find a good place for me to reenter the adventure, used the Origins table in Xanathar's Guide to Everything to flesh out his background some more. One of the tables is 1D100 for where your character is born, where it's pretty much a 50/50 chance you roll "home" (results 1-50). I, however, managed to roll 100, "On an Outer Plane of your choice". I wasn't, and still isn't really, that familiar with the Outer Planes, other than the Nine Hells, and the Abyss, so I chose Hell, and built my character's personality around that. His backstory pretty much ended up being that his mother was a Cambion, but his dad was a human so average that their union didn't spawn a tiefling as they normally would, but just a normal human baby. (I accidentally gave him a huge fro though, because at that time we used character sheets printed on paper, and I had a scribble of Pen on there that I just doodled more and more curls on whenever someone had to look up rules and such. It got huge. DM made it cannon.)

I don't remember why, but for some reason, way out in the adventure (somewhat close to the end, I think) I wanted an imp friend that looked like a cat, not a familiar or anything, just a pet of sorts. The DM granted me one, and along the way Pen and Trish might've made a cult. Some human/dwarven sacrifices were made. Some deals were struck, and by the end of the adventure Pen was a Cambion, and had a large following of mostly dwarves that he took home with him.

(I'm not sure what the rules are with gore here, so I blurred the drawings a little. This is a very old drawing of Pen and Trish.)

This might make it sound like I stole the show, but I didn't. Two others also started cults, and the adventure ended with two of us walking away with pretty much an army of cultists each, and the third one went to reassemble his following. (One of these also married the Demon Lord Graz'zt, I think, or at least ended up in a relationship of sorts with him.

Pen is still my favorite character.

Anyways, back to this comic. Trish, old character, redesigned her slightly for this comic, as I couldn't quite remember what she looked like before I managed to dig up an old drawing. Here's the doll I drew before starting the comic to get the palette nice and look alright in grayscale.

Previous Page, Page 09:

Next Page, Page 11:

[allsadnshit]

Honestly I think I just need to admit to myself I feel like dogshit today instead of trying to make it into something beautiful and productive. My allergies have been bad and my sinuses and throat all super inflamed cause I have the world's largest tonsils and I woke up feeling really anxious about money and my personal life. I feel really extra socially disconnected recently even though ultimately I have been disconnected for years now. Everything I see online is so political and black and white and I don't relate to any of it anymore and it makes me feel like other people are unforgiving judgmental monsters which is an uncomfortable headspace to live in.

I've had lots of sincere good moments recently too but ultimately I feel exhausted and uninspired and just want less and less to do with other people while also feeling pretty isolated and lonely and the contradiction is also tiring. I really want to move out of this city and be somewhere less noisy and busy with access to nature. The last year at my job has really defeated my expectations for abilities to form friendships and enjoy other peoples company and I've known that for a while and it's just catching up to me lightening speed right now.

I also feel like I really need a haircut to help it grow and be healthy and I truly don't have the money for it right now and that's depressing!

I will keep drawing and editing my cookbook pages for now and drinking warm honey water.

[crescentblossom66]

Sits in an empty hall

Looks at you with my eyes

Personal yes. But

👍 may I have a fic of bow talking about her favourite shapes and empress taking that as inspiration for her upcoming jewellery and naming it after bow? [ or having a bit of symbolism towards bow]

Hope that req isn't out of reach

Took a while, but I managed to find some inspiration today so...here we go. I hope this is good enough.

Art is in the eye of the beholder

The Empress tapped one claw against the counter top, sighing from boredom. There had been hardly any customers, and it seems like the metro was fairly quiet as it was a little before rush hour. She had read the news paper already and had gathered intel from her most trusted cats that she had send out on a reconnaissance mission, and...nothing, no big money to be made, no important people to rob, no jewels or antique items to steal, absolutely nothing. She had sat down earlier to make new accessories and cut the newly acquired gems into shapes, but found that she hated all the common once. Heart shapes, teardrops, and oval were all so...basic and uninspired that it irked her. She wanted to try something more...unconventional, but what?

A few minutes later the doorbell of the store rang and Bow Kid entered with a smile and skipped inside. “I'm back!” Her smile was greeted by the fake smile that the tall cat usually displayed, Bow had found out years ago that it wasn't genuine, so she asked with a bit of concern. “Is something wrong?” The tall cat recoiled for a moment after Bow had so easily seen through her facade...she was getting better at analyzing people...that was a good thing.

“No, Bow, don't worry, nothing bad has happened. How was school?” She changed the topic, and thankfully the girl fell for the obvious distraction.

“Today was awesome! I did okay in math, I even managed to answer a difficult question!” She beamed and looked proud of herself.

“Very good, Bow, very good. I've heard from your teacher that you're improving quickly and that you aren't neglecting your studies. I'm proud of you.” Considering that she herself had to learn everything on the streets after living in poverty her early life, she was quite happy that Bow was doing well in school. More intelligence and a wider understanding of the world would serve her well later. Her streets smarts would come in soon enough when she'd go on her missions. Soon she'd bring Bow with her on the easier missions and teach her all she needed to know so that she one day could succeed her as the feared “Empress of the Metro”

“Art was amazing too, today we talked about some guy called, Picasso. That artist made some funny paintings that don't make sense at all. I needed to think outside the box and create a drawing with weird and unconventional shapes.-” Bow Kid put her backpack on the ground and shuffled though her school utensiles until she found her art folder. “-Look, isn't it wacky! Maybe it can cheer you up!” Bow Kid smiled and gave Empress the drawing she had made.

The drawing that Bow Kid had given her really didn't make sense at all, the shapes looked strange and all over the place, none could be recognized as anything specific...Wait...That was it! Maybe she could use those weird shapes for her jewels! “Thank you, Bow. I got a feeling this will come in handy.”

Bow Kid was surprised to find the strange shapes she had made for the drawings, were now the shapes used for various pendants of necklaces and inserted into bracelets a few days later after she returned form school.

[luveline]

i used to write rlly bad poetry a long time ago n reading ur amazing poetry makes me wish i could write smth like that :O

do u have like a process of writing or any poetry recs that u like/ draw inspo from

u r so talented in everything mwah

Thank you😭 I don’t really have a process for poetry because what I write is loose (uneducated <3) and doesn’t follow any of the fancy and specific guidelines that some poets follow, I’m afraid I’m not very traditional!!

my fave poet is Kaveh Akbar! If you’re feeling uninspired, the poetry foundation is an amazing website that features a lot of contemporary poetry and has a ‘poem of the day’ thing!

[queeriboh]

.

I feel so fucking hopeless lately. I keep trying so so so hard to pick myself up and keep going even though everything feels like it's falling apart or fighting me. I used to have so many ideas for my rp blogs and now I feel so uninspired and uncreative, I have to beg for anons and attention, and I don't know if people are too scared to really be mean to my muses or if they just don't know what to bug them about or what. I dont know if/when the person who wants to olay Kaiba in our TL will actually want to. I used to have 3 d&d campaigns going on to look forward to and now we haven't played in months. I feel like my friends are getting more and more distant.

I've been trying to get chores done and be productive and an adult and I've been trying so so so fucking hard. but everything keeps going wrong and life keeps getting in the way, my alarm on my phone just isn't working and for some reason I keep sleeping WAY past my normal natural wake up time and then I don't have time to do anything before work. I had to get this new car and I'm still trying to be excited about that but I'm so broke because of it. my phone screen seems like it's getting worse but last time I tried to upgrade it was going to cost me like $170 and I don't !!!!! have any fucking money !!!!! and I have so many unfinished commissions but I can't even bring myself to start them because my phone screen keeps shaking and I'm scared it'll make it impossible to draw so I can't get myself to even try to start. I'm so scared of what else is going to break or fall apart that I won't be able to afford to fix.

I'm so fucking tired and I feel like I won't have anything at all left by next year

and then there's everything that's going on with all this horrible fascist shit targeting trans and other queer people and I'm scared I'm so fucking scared. not just for myself but for all the kids who are going to suffer because of it and then I go on reddit and see all the people getting upvoted for calling transitioning mutilation and everyone who tries to explain our existence get down voted even with links and research and it hurts so fucking bad to know so many people hate people like me just for existing and wanting to be comfortable in our own fucking skin and

it all feels so hopeless and I want to give up so bad but I can't

[chaoschild-hideout]

The Wounded Artists; Journey of a Lifetime

As all of you, I’ve been born into this world, navigating it by the principles, the guidelines, the ideas and rules of those that happened to be my family, friends, society itself.

All of this was suddenly supposed to be my world, to mean something to me, out of nowhere, there were expectations, rules to follow and the start of  a never ending journey of self-discovery. But how do you figure out who is…you?

Most of the time, you never even get to question your reality because there is already someone or something that has decided how your life should look like, what should matter to you and define you by your “goodness” or “badness” following someone else’s standards for what it means to be a “good”  human. 

Only later in life, maybe,if you are lucky enough, you’ll suddenly realize that you can actually doubt everything you’ve been taught. But this is where it all gets crazy and overwhelming. Most people won’t admit it because it would be too painful to do so, but MOST of us, we've practically been bullied and shamed by our families, schools, religions, societies into becoming or WANTING to become someone we are actually not, someone who is acceptable, thus, LOVABLE. In the language of a baby, lovable means SURVIVAL.

The most messed up part of all of this, is how deep inside of ourselves we firmly, TRULY believe that we ALWAYS wanted that! That there is nothing wrong with us, that no one failed us and we are in complete denial of how much all of this impacted our sense of self.

How does all of this relate to me as a person, or as an artist, and why do I believe that it could change most artist’s way of approaching art and life itself?

Simple, because you can only realize and see how messed up your reality is, if you have another reality to compare it with.

Whenever you isolate a problem from its context you might not realize that the problem is just the SYMPTOM of something else. As artists, most of us struggle because we don’t have the full picture of why that happens!

Things like Artblock have nothing to do with art itself, it is this abstract concept of not being able to do something creative. You FEEL blocked. But you are not physically blocked, nor mentally, you can take a pencil any minute and start making lines and create whatever, copy from reality or pictures or just move it randomly and make some scribbles. But when you do that, once again, you FEEL that it doesn’t satisfy you, you FEEL uninspired and you use that feeling as a motivation to stop drawing, calling that moment artblock.

Truth is you don’t have a problem with your art, you have a problem with your emotions and what you make them MEAN.Emotions are just that, emotions, they are your compass in life, they tell you “this feels good, this feels bad” but it is you that DECIDES what to do about them. Learning to explore them could be one of your best tools for creativity and make you become a better artist, one that doesn’t have to spend their entire life struggling and in pain because of outdated beliefs and convictions, which weren’t even yours from the very beginning. Or even transform that same pain from procrastination to a creative flow state.

You are not at fault for not knowing how to navigate your own internal world, your own emotions, and if you do struggle as an artist, I assure you someone hijacked your internal guidance system and you have no idea how to even trust or doubt yourself. Learning how to do that can completely turn around the whole experience of your artistic and human life journey.

I will definitely write more in-depth blog-posts about this topic as well as about Art Block and all of the things I’ve discovered and experienced in my life while facing the same issues and struggles you do every day.

Have a lovely week everyone and stay tuned :P (I love bloggingggg hehe)

[a-shared-experience]

I’m having a very strange moment… I remember sitting on the train with a boy months ago… each of us doing our own thing. I couldn’t get my tumblr app to work , I was probably trying to post some silly picture of the sky that nobody would even care about …. I deleted the app to refresh it and it wouldn’t let me log in - I contacted the company and they advised all of my content was deleted and couldn’t be retrieved.

I tried to make a new account because I’ve been going through it lately - like nothing bad is happening but … I don’t really know how to trust when things aren’t chaotic. It’s a trauma side effect I suppose. Everything from relapse to depression simply because life is … stable

Make my mental health great again (insert trump hat)

Often times I feel like a complete failure if I’m not in the pursuit of accomplishment of anything and so I’ve been really hard on myself lately. I feel limited or boxed in. Maybe I’m just uninspired.

I was really shocked that I was able to log in and everything was somehow magically here again. It doesn’t make sense.

I need this place to allow myself to be vulnerable because I just can’t seem to do it in real time. I feel really disconnected from everything and everyone lately. Is it weird that this little hidden authentic space keeps me grounded ? That it’s the only space where I feel brave or like it’s ok to be me?

Sometimes I just want to sing without feeling embarrassed, I want to paint and draw even though I’m not very good at it , I want to puke my endless thoughts into anywhere that isn’t my ticking time bomb of a mind.

I want to come here and say I’m not fine - maybe today I am afraid and maybe that’s ok and I don’t need to be fixed or saved - I just need to be exactly what I am without it compromising who I’m supposed to be or burdening anyone.

I just want to take up space

I feel like I’ve been really quiet for a long time.

Holding everything inside.

Grief. Fear. Joy. Pride.

Silent survival.

- ya girl B

[ot3]

I actually think the orv webtoon pretty much fails as an adaptation. In the novel you're meant to identify with kdj and relate to him heavily, it's even written in first person for this: it's not "he did smth", it's "I did" ("You did"). This works right into the ending which wouldn't hit half as hard without it. And in the webtoon he's only a character. A protagonist. There's no identifying with him like this. The way he's drawn there doesn't help either...

i would definitely have to agree that the orv webtoon just absolutely does not have the same feel the webnovel does, and that it's much harder to get in kim dokja's head. but i would have to agree in that it fundamentally fails as an adaptation.

for starters, i think the idea that you can't identify with/project onto a character unless the narrative is actively holding your hand in doing that is a pretty baseless claim to make. there is quite literally nothing that could stop a person from looking at any kind of fictional character and saying 'wow hes literally me for real' no matter how much distance the narrative puts between you and them. it may take a little bit more active desire from The Girl Reading This but I don't think it's nearly as much of a stretch as you're making it out to be, especially as the story progresses and we get to the arcs that serve to make kim dokja feel a little more believably 3 dimensional than he does in his early epic isekai protagsweep cringe behavior.

also, even if what you were describing was true for every webtoon reader - that kim dokja is just A Protagonist, and not as much of a vessel for projection - i think that's genuinely an adaptation of orv that has a lot of merit and a very interesting meta-relationship to the source material. when you consider the webtoon's publishing schedule, webtoon readers are going to be operating on a timeline much closer to that of KDJ reading the original wos updates. He essentially is yoo joonghyuk to everyone who has begun reading it now, a sort of impossibly resilient protagonist they could choose to lean on for the better part of the next decade. and i think that's super interesting. kim dokja has never been more yoo joonghyuk than he is in the orv webtoon. that's not a bad adaptation at all! that is in fact very interesting to me!

the thing about adaptations that's really tricky is that it is 1. physically impossible to 'accurately' adapt a story from one medium into another. the medium is so intrinsic to storytelling that by necessity things are lost, changed, and gained in switching from one to another. and 2. considering the wide range of opinions people have about a source there really is no consensus about which exact things about a text have to be 1:1 translated in order for an adaptation to be 'faithful'. im very far behind on the webtoon but everything i have seen so far i think has done the best job it can translating it into a comic.....

.... except for the art style

i really do not like the way this person draws people, yeah. the same face is so rampant that it's genuinely difficult for some people to tell the characters apart. it's got super uninspired character design which i think is a crying shame that does a lot of these characters a huge disservice. i wish they had picked something less generic looking. but in many ways, generic looking exteriority fits orv. i can aaaalmost appreciate it from that angle, and im sure it's helping orv gain traction with the kind of people who regularly read webtoons (i am not one of these people) but. yeah. i find the way sleepy c draws people to be pretty ugly, if we're being honest.

[d15gu571ng]

do you actually like family guy or is it just 4 the meme? im dying 2 know

Thanks for the question anon!

This is hard to put into words because while I do genuinely like the show, I like it for more than what it is on the surface. Its not that I relate to the characters on a deep emotional level but more or so of how it slowly grew on me and changed the way I thought of how I interact with media and the people who consume it.

When I first saw the show I was an 11 year old kid who "liked" almost anything, as long as it was 'entertaining' for me. Mind you I didn't actually understand what was going on, nor did I even react to alot of the scenes in any way I just... watched it to watch it. I mean, it beats the shitty infomercials and corny live action sitcoms that were on at the time.

When I formed an actual opinion on the show it was a deep, deep hatred. I saw the show as objectively lazy, cheap, mean-spirited and just downright obnoxious at times with its themes and writing. And I'll admit it, it's true.

Family guy is not an amazing show. A lot of it's characters, which used to be charming and fun to watch became flanderized distorted versions of themselves due to the passage of time. It's writing has moments where it can be downright cringe inducing, especially with some of the jokes. The themes of certain episodes are so ridiculously problematic that it made even ME feel uncomfortable on occasion. The animation is quite often cheap and stiff and don't even get me started on the modernized design of the show itself...

I can completely understand why somebody would say it was downright garbage.

But my dad LOVED that show

He would continuously talk about how funny he found Peter and his family, recount episodes by memory and even show me his favorite clips of the show and would laugh and laugh at the occasionally shitty punchlines. He loved this stupid bad show so much that for almost every birthday he'd ask me to draw Peter Griffin for him..

I hated that shit.

I would rant to him about how shitty the show was and that it was incredibly problematic that he liked it. And most of the time he'd simply reply, "Well I think it's funny!"

And I'd give a snarky retort on how it was stupid that he did.

Needless to say we didn't talk much about what we liked to one another.

And as more and more life stuff happened we became more distant and hostile until finally I was out of the house for college.

I didn't really reach out to him often and I rarely ever called.

And that was that at the time.

Until I watched dog bites bear.

Now to preface this, it was by complete accident. All my favorite video essayists has no more videos to watch, and I would rather tear my own eyes out than listen to another reddit "Am I the asshole for killing my entire family" type post. So without anything better to do, I let it play out. And to say I was shocked at how good stewie and brian's plotline was had me shocked. For a good while, I was obsessed with this episode, and I became even MORE shocked when I realized that there were MULTIPLE episodes with this amount genuine-ness to it.

As I began to binge through more and more episodes of this... fucking stupid show I hated at the time, I started to see aspects of it that I missed out on.

The original music and dance sequences ranged from alright to downright impressive! And it doesn't help that I'm a sucker for musicals and showtunes. Some of the fight scenes being actually, pretty well choregraphed. Yes, the camera angles are flat and uninspired at times, I do like how creative they can be. Some of the plotlines in many episodes have actually REALLY GOOD STORY BEATS AND SCENES TO IT. Like for example, when Peter and Lois reunite in Meet the Quagmires, or every moment of Peter and Brian's relationship in New Kidney in Town and Forget Me Not, Brain and Stewie's EVERYTHING (And the episode too). AND THESE WEREN'T EVEN THE FIRST 3 SEASONS.

I could honestly go on and on about the things I enjoyed in this show and it kinda made me realize alot about how I treated this show and the people who liked it. I genuinely thought I was better than them JUST BECAUSE THEY LIKED THIS "OBJECTIVELY BAD" PEICE OF MEDIA and I would constantly put people down just for liking the things that I considered to be bad. So, when I binged this show and CONSIOUSLY HAD A GOOD TIME WATCHING ALOT OF THE EPISODES? It made me realize that...

I was such a pretentious fucking dick as a kid lol

When I finished binging through around... what... a good 2-3 hours of family guy, my dad called me

And rather than ignoring it like I usually did I actually picked up... It was a little awkward at first, at least from my end... but I don't think my dad even noticed my stiffness. He was just happy to hear my voice after so long, asking how I was doing and how was school and all that... and I'd answer my usual "It was fine." But, what really started a conversation between us was me asking him what his personal favorite episode of Family Guy was, just out of pure curiosity. And the way I could hear his voice light up as he gushed about all his favorite moments...? Christ man...

As stupid as "Family Guy helped me rebuild my connection with my father" SOUNDS, it's really what happened. We ended up spending alot more time together, talking about things we liked and disliked and realized that... we were alot similar than either of us expected. And not only that it really helped me see both the good and the bad in media and that it was ok to enjoy things that everyone else enjoyed, even if the bad outweighs the good.

I understand that the great aspects of family don't represent the show as a whole... but there's a reason other than capitalistic corporatism of why this show just doesn't ever fucking end. Because there's people there that care about this show and these stupid shitty goofy ass characters, both the fans and the people who work on it.

Idk... this was an unnecessarily personal and sentimental stupid rant about something that I grew to love. Really I could've just answered with a simple "yes" and chad Peter png I stole off of google.

But I really do love this show because it helped me appreciate the one person in my life who stuck with me the best he could despite the tragedy after tragedy that happened to him, how shittily and harsh;y I treated him fur to my own fears and traumas, and how far he sunk down into dark... dark places...

Even after all that he's still giving it his all to the people he loves.

And I love him for that.

Sorry for how insane and incomprehensible this ENTIRE diatribe is. I just wanted to gush about how this show made me grow and change as a person and love my family

have a shitty Peter, thanks for the question ^^