#everything else around that closed at 2PM??

[mayra-quijotescx]

downright lit stove burner of a transit take here but for what the Houston Metropolitan Transit Authority is spending on their fare checker mobs that roam in neon yellow threes up and down our miniscule light rail "system" all day writing people $75 tickets for the crime of not having $1.25 and their shitty flatscreens that alternate between showing you how surveilled the bus is and playing commercials for METRO Police, they could probably afford to place one set of three single-user, ADA accessible public restrooms at each Transit Center and hire custodians to keep them maintained 24/7.

This would help the bus drivers to not have to stand in a line holding it at the one (1) keypad-locked Employees Only stall each TC has (by comparison, up to 8 buses can be docked at Texas Medical Transit Center at a time and frequently there's additional buses parked around the perimeter waiting their turn; that's a lot of UTIs on the wrong day), but it might also go a long way towards preventing certain stops from devolving into bug-ruled open-air latrines because for all that transphobes love to whine about how allegedly unsafe public restrooms are, we don't actually have any.

[darl-ingfics]

Positive Energy Providers

Fandom: Seventeen

Sickie: S.Coups (stomach bug, mentioned)

Caregiver(s): Seventeen

Word Count: 1,586

Notes: Happy New Year!

Seungcheol was pulled out of a light sleep by the sound of footsteps in the hall outside his closed door. Oh good. His members were home. Finally. 

The leader had been hit with a stomach bug the previous day. The whole thing had been rather anticlimactic. He’d really only thrown up three times, dealing more so with unrelenting nausea and a mid-range fever. He’d hardly slept all night, tossing and turning as his body couldn’t decide if it was hot or cold. He’d finally been able to fall asleep just after his members left for their schedules, and he’d been able to eat some plain rice around 2pm, which had allowed him to actually take medicine. The fever had broken soon after, and even though his body still felt icky and unsettled, there was a glimmer of hope now. 

As he reveled in the sound of activity (singing and laughter and the thump of shoes being discarded,) Seungcheol was surprised to hear his door already sliding open. 

“Hyung!” Mingyu beamed, swinging in with the door like the lead in an old-time musical. “How’re you feeling?”

Seungcheol smiled, pushing himself up to better address his friend. “Much better, thanks.”

Mingyu let out a breath, as if he’d feared the worst. “That’s great news. Anything in particular you want for dinner?”

“You’re not cooking after such a long day, are you?” Seungcheol asked. He paused to wave at Jun, who was quietly waving at him from his tiptoes behind Mingyu’s head. 

Mingyu shrugged. “Depends on what you say.”

Seungcheol frowned. “Mingyu, I know you too well for that. Please don’t waste your time cooking for me when I’m only going to eat a few bites.”

“It’s never wasted time cooking for you, hyung,” Mingyu scoffed, rolling his eyes at the older man’s dramatics. “I love making food for you.”

“I know, but I feel bad…” Seungcheol dropped his head back further, really emphasizing his point. “Making you work extra…”

“You’re a silly, silly man, you know that?” Mingyu teased. 

“What’re you two fighting about?” Joshua asked, squeezing past Mingyu into the room. He glided to the bed with a soft smile, immediately pressing his hand to Seungcheol’s forehead, humming happily at what he found. 

“Hyung doesn’t want me to cook for him,” Mingyu replied. 

Seungcheol looked up at Joshua with his best puppy dog eyes. “No, I don’t want him to prioritize cooking for me over resting himself after a long day.” 

Joshua nodded, lips quirked to the side in consideration. “Here, how about this. I’ll make it easy for both of you. You want plain or chicken congee?”

“Chicken, please.” 

“You got it.” Mingyu snapped his fingers, pointing them energetically at the leader before he disappeared down the hall. Joshua laughed softly before gently kissing Seungcheol’s forehead and following after the younger rapper. 

Soonyoung breezed in shortly after, walking right up to the bed and flopping onto his back. He gave a big sigh, his enter body contacting with the force of the exhale. 

“Everything okay?”

The performance leader turned to look at Seungcheol with a resigned expression. “This might be it, Cheol. I think this is the comeback my feet just detach from my body.” Seungcheol gave a laugh at that. Soonyoung’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you mock my pain.”

Seungcheol scoffed. “You’re the one who choreographed most of this one, so I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

Soonyoung pouted at him. “I want you to let me whine cause I’m not allowed to whine to anyone else.” 

“Why not?”

“Cause then they say I’m the performance leader so I got no right to whine.”

“Well…”

“Don’t say they’re right.”

“I really don’t know what you want from me here, Hosh…”

“Neither do I!”

Seungcheol laughed again, shaking his head. “Well, I can’t wait to see it. I’m sure it’s incredible if it’s inspiring your feet to go off and start their solo career.” 

“Their solo career,” Soonyoung mumbled to himself. He chuckled, pushing himself up to a seated position. He met the leader’s eyes. “How’re you?” His hand reached out to pat Seungcheol’s foot beneath the blanket. 

“Much better.” Seungcheol nodded. “I finally kept some food down a few hours ago, so the medicine has been able to work. I can hopefully come back at 50% tomorrow.”

Soonyoung snapped at him warningly. “Don’t jinx it. And even then, I’ll maybe consider letting you do 25%.”

“Deal.” Seungcheol held out his hand. Soonyoung shook it with a theatrically serious frown. A smile broke on his lips a moment later. 

“So glad you’re feeling better.” 

“Me too.” 

Soonyoung patted Seungcheol’s cheek, and then scurried off and out the door. Without a moment of pause, Seokmin slid into the doorway, beaming just as brightly as Mingyu had been just moments before. 

“Hyung guess what? I hit that high note today!” The vocalist’s face was a mix of amazement and disbelief. 

“Wow, Minnie, I’m so proud of you,” Seungcheol praised, a proud smile rising on his own lips. “I know that one was a challenge for you, but Jihoon and I knew you could do it.”

Seokmin nodded shyly, blushing slightly at the praise. “Thanks. It feels good to be challenged. I appreciate your faith in me.”

“Always.” 

Jihoon’s head peeked in front of Seokmin’s. “Did you tell you about the high note?!” The producer was holding his phone, clearly ready with video evidence. Seungcheol nodded as he beckoned both of them into the room. He pulled his knees up to his chest to make room on the bed. Jihoon quickly sat down across from him, while Seokmin slid up next to Seungcheol, head resting on his shoulder as Jihoon pressed play on his phone. 

The shot was of Seokmin in the dance practice room, and started with him asking Jihoon if he could try singing the note one last time in here because maybe the acoustics would inspire him. Jihoon sighed and said he wasn’t Seokmin’s master, and the vocalist could do whatever he wanted. So Seokmin hit the note perfectly. And the room erupted in cheers. 

“Oh my god,” the leader breathed, rewinding the video and listening to the phrase again. His mouth hung open. “Minnie, that’s fucking incredible.” The vocalist hid his blushing face in his hands, attempted to bury himself deeper into the leader’s shoulder. 

“Told you you could do it,” Jihoon said, lightly kicking Seokmin’s feet. 

“People are going to lose their minds when this releases,” Seungcheol added, rubbing Seokmin’s back. “I’m so proud of you.” 

Seokmin finally pulled back from hiding, planting a kiss on Seungcheol’s temple. “Thank you for believing in me.” He moved and grasped Jihoon before he could run away, kissing his cheek with an overdramatic smack of his lips. “Thank you for helping me grow.” 

While wiping at his cheek a little too harshly, Jihoon replied, “You’re welcome, but please don’t kiss me again.” 

Seokmin immediately lunged for the producer again, lips pursed. Jihoon cried out in protest, leaping off the bed and sprinting out of the room, Seokmin hot on his heels. Seunghceol laughed, shaking his head. 

Minghao appeared a second later. He jerked a thumb back towards the rest of the dorm. “Those two weren’t too rowdy in here, were they?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “Nah, they were actually quite gentle.” 

“Good.” The dancer nodded, eyes scanning the room. Seungcheol wasn’t sure what he was looking for. 

“How was rehearsal?”

Minghao nodded again. “Good. Really good, actually, considering Jeonghan was in charge. He isn’t always as good as staying on task as you are…”

“Hey, I heard that!” Jeonghan’s voice spilled into the room before the man himself, appearing with a scowl and arms crossed over his chest. “And I will have you know I can be a very good vice leader in appropriate circumstances.”

“Even that sounds like fancy loophole,” Minghao scoffed. “What constitutes ‘appropriate circumstances?’” Seungcheol resisted the urge to laugh at the dancer use of air quotes, and the little twitch they caused in Jeonghan’s left eye. 

“That’s a conversation for another day and not in front of our leader who needs space and positive energy in his time of convalescence,” Jeonghan replied, spreading his hands out to mime what ‘positive energy�� might look like. 

Minghao raised an eyebrow. “You know, you tend to speak extra formally when you’re trying to escape conversations. Also, it’s not like hyung’s getting any space tonight. This group’s a bunch of stage five clingers.”

Wonwoo chose that exact moment to saunter into the room, proving Minghao’s point. He said nothing as he collapsed onto the bed next to Seuncheol, his head colliding with the leader’s thigh. Seungcheol had just barely touched his fingers to the rapper’s hair before Wonwoo was pushing himself up from the bed. He tapped the leader’s shoulder affectionately before turning to go. Seungcheol was just able to tap his butt before he was completely out of range. Both rappers failed miserably at trying to hide their smiles as Wonwoo disappeared from the room. 

Jeonghan recrossed his arms. “I shall continue to use my tricky, clever word play, and there is nothing you can do about it!” He turned abruptly and walked out of the room. Minghao snorted out a laugh, simply shaking his head. 

“Hope that’s at least provided you some entertainment,” he said, turning back to the leader. 

“Oh, I can guarantee the ‘positive energy’ you’ve provided is doing wonders,” Seungcheol replied, smiling from the bottom of his heart.

[cowgirlcherrie]

hiii :) i was wondering if you could do headcanons of modern! ellie

Hiii lovie of course!!!! ♡♡

a/n: this is kinda drabble-ish but would love to do more of these, so keep requesting them LOL! This is a little sporadic but I love it, so I hope you enjoy <3

warnings(?): not really much mostly fluff sfw, with slight suggestive undertones but really if you squiiint

modern! Ellie headcanons

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

♡ Ellie would definitely be in college, part of her doesn't know fully why she applied but she was giving it a shot

♡ totally an undecided major, science? teaching? psychology? She really doesn't know at first but settled on psychology so she could get her degree

♡ makes you wear a necklace with her initial on it (totally possessive)

♡ magically always had weed, which was also confusing at first but she just had that good of connections around town with local plugs and dispensaries.

♡ always has a blunt tucked behind one ear

♡ makes you trim her hair because she doesn’t trust anyone else touching anything on her body.

♡ always loosing her lighter so you bedazzled it and she literally never lost it after that, she would rather die before losing that lighter now

♡ if you have stuffed animals, she tries to remember their names but gets them wrong every time

♡ A few months into dating when labels were now on the relationship, would gift you little things and act like it wasn't her.

♡ once gifted you pre-rolled blunts and you were definitely confused but before you could give them back would kiss your cheeks before saying "No take backs"

♡ keys jingle when she walks, and it's loud asf too!!

♡ whenever you can't find her she's definitely in the gym

♡ low-key would get addicted to going in her free-time ( gym rat ellie ?????)

♡ definitely rubs your back while you are studying or working from home, keeps one arm rubbing circles in your lower back and another on her phone, she enjoyed the comfort of being close even though you kept shushing her. (she’s definitely playing subway surfers or scrolling on tiktok)

strong believer that she would accidentally get tiktok famous, but everything she would post after that one thirst trap would be just videos of you

♡ loves dressing you up, quite literally sits at the edge of the bed while you try on different clothes leaning back as you come out of the bathroom,

"Twirl for me doll,"

" I love that color, you should wear that more often"

♡ one day when you see her playing guitar and beg on her lap that you want to learn, Ellie will literally take you to the guitar center the next day to get you your very own

♡ spoils the crap out of you!!!!!

♡ lovesss teasing you and resting her hands on your upper thigh especially when you wear something revealing like skirts or shorts, she tucks her hand way too close up.

♡ touchy touchy touchy! always has to be touching you somehow

♡ leaving kisses on your neck 24/7 because of the way you jump when her lips touch your skin

♡ skincare nights go so crazy, took a lot of convincing, but will be right next to you with a facemask on while you watch a good show

♡ definitely dominant 80% of the time

♡ pet name Warriorrrr ( baby this...doll that) she literally doesn't stop

♡ if you ever go to a party together definitely shares alcohol with you so you don't drink too much

♡ if you are drunk after will take your make-up off and do your night time routine for you

♡ wakes up late as fuck!!! totally wakes up at 2pm like its nothing

♡ definitely mean to everyone else but you.

I'm talking about glaring at people 24/7, crazy attitudes, and people basically asking for permission before they speak.

♡ whenever she catches you doing your natural hair, begs to help which results in her wanting to do it every washday

♡ at first, Ellie didn't understand the hype behind matching fits but does it just for you

♡ overall Ellie is just a simp for you like literally only cares about you, weed, and getting money

[risingsoleil]

LinZin Coffee Shop AU snippet? Could be very cute. Please and thank you. 🤍☕️🧋 I’m enjoying the writing kick you are on.

Hi girlie! this is mooonths late lol forgive me

Tenzin is a 3rd year university student and he works part-time at a coffee shop. Midterms is coming up and he notices the most beautiful girl has been visiting often. She always comes alone, so maybe she's single? From her credit card info, her name is Lin.

Tenzin is smitten with her even if he hasn't had a real conversation with her.

Since first seeing her, Tenzin has memorized her schedule. He feels it's creepy and keeps this info to himself. Today is Tuesday and she came in around 2pm. Lin always orders the same thing---iced toffee nut latte. Sometimes, she adds a yogurt or snack with her purchase. Then she goes to her usual corner by the window and starts working.

Today the sunlight is subtle, but so refreshing. It's hitting at the perfect angle to give her an angelic aura. Tenzin can't stop looking at her, in between getting drinks ready and taking orders. Lin may not notice while she works, but his manager certainly does.

"Go tell her hi," a voice whispers in his ear.

Tenzin's heart almost stops beating and tears out of his chest at the voice. "Shit! Sokka, don't scare me like that!" he hisses back, fixing the collar of his shirt.

"You've been planning your whole life together before you even had a real conversation with her. Now stop being a loser, go charm her, and get her number. Or Instagram."

"I can't just do that! It'll be weird!"

"Do i have to do everything around here?" Sokka grumbles. He pulls Tenzin close. "Listen, go ask if she wants to have the blinds closed since it's in her face."

"Oh..." tenzin nods in interest. "Good idea. Then what?"

"Have a conversation with her! Ask her what she's studying or something. Or if she goes to the same university. Do i have to tell you everything?"

"It would help."

"Damn it, Tenzin. You really need a girlfriend. How is it you're so smart, but can't talk to girls?"

"I don't know, it's a curse."

Sokka smacks him lightly on the shoulder. "We'll talk about that later. Go on."

"But---"

A shove forces him away from the counter and the panic already rises to Tenzin's face. Sokka motions at the window and glares for extra measure. Realizing that he had no way out of this (unless he literally runs away), Tenzin awkwardly walks over to Lin's table. His hip almost knocks over another customer's table and he apologizes profusely.

Sokka facepalms.

Tenzin swallows the lump in his throat as he enters the territory of this heavenly goddess. Lin has her AirPods in and is typing at lightning speed on her laptop. He waves a bit to get her attention and she acknowledges his presence.

Taking one pod out, she asks, 'What can I do for you?"

"Oh, uh, nothing. I was just wondering if you, uh, the sunlight."

Lin tilts her head. "The sunlight?"

"I mean, if you want me to pull the blinds down. Since the sunlight is in your face and blinding you. I mean, not literally. But ..yeah."

"Oh." She glances out the window and then the blinds. "Halfway is fine. It's getting a bit hard to see my screen."

"Of course!" Tenzin pulls the blinds, the shade creeping over Lin's face. The sunlight illuminated her skin and only glowed from her neck down. "If you need anything else, just let me know."

"Thanks."

He can feel his palms sweating profusely and he keeps his hands close to his body. "So...um, do you also go to Republic City University?"

Rather than get rejected, Lin nods. "Yeah. Do you?"

A small smile rises on his face. "Yeah. I"m in my third year. What about you?"

"Second year." She takes a sip of her toffee nut latte. "What's your major?"

"I'm double majoring in Psychology and Literature."

Lin hums, licking her lips to absorb the foam. "Wow, that sounds cool."

"Eh, a lot of reading. But I enjoy it." He scratches the back of his neck. "And you?"

"international business and international law."

"Oh, wow yours is much more intense than mine."

Lin chuckles and nods her head. She leans back and crosses her arms. "Yeah, that's why I'm thinking of just dropping business and doing law."

"Either way, that just sounds so cool. But I'm sure you're really busy with studying and midterms coming up."

A nod. "Yep. So that's why you'll be seeing me everyday."

"I don't mind." The calm smile on his face disappeared and he quickly, added, "It's nice to always sees regulars, even if you're only around for midterms. Having a drink while studying hits hard. "

"Oh even after midterms, you'll see me. You guys have the best toffee nut latte."

"Really?"

"Mhm. It's not too sweet and not too milky. I don't know, I just love it. So I'll be around to donate my money to your workplace." She meets his eyes. "Do you have a lot of midterms?"

A heavy sigh. "Yeah, I have 5. I've been studying in between work and classes."

"Do you study here?"

"Sometimes."

"Maybe we can study together."

His eyes lit up. "Really? You'd be okay with that?"

"Yeah. I don't mind. Plus, it makes sense for you to study here when you can. And it's easier to study with another person."

"Definitely. Sometimes talking it out with someone helps you grasp a concept better."

"Exactly," she agrees.

"Well, I get off at 1pm tomorrow if you wanna study for midterms?"

"That works for me."

"And feel free to bring your friends, too," he added, hoping that it wouldn't make her feel pressured that this was a date.

Lin smirks. "My money isn't enough for you? You're gonna make us all broke."

"I could give it to you guys free one time."

"No, no, I'm just joking. You don't have to."

Tenzin shakes his head. "It's fine. Really. It's just one time."

"Don't worry about us. We'll pay properly. Just keep making good toffee nut lattes."

"Ah..alright." Tenzin bites his lip and feels his awkward side returning with the upcoming silence. He clears his throat and shoots a glance toward Sokka. "Well, um I gotta go back to work. But let me know if you need anything else. Or if you want another latte."

"Sure."

Tenzin turns around to walk away.

"Wait."

"Yes?"

"I didn't get your name. I'm Lin."

"Nice to meet you, Lin. I'm Tenzin."

[krispdreemurr]

Why hellos! Would you share... Ummm..... Ten headcanons of your choice, please?

Or theories, if you'd prefer that!

sounds good! let's do ten minor Kris things that go into my take on them

1. their musical taste right now as a sixteen year old trends Tumblr Quirky, and a combo of Tumblr and Toriel's old CDs lead to a particularly strong interest in they might be giants. their username anywhere they can get it is bluecanary, after the lead of birdhouse in your soul. (confusing people who know Berdly is a funny side benefit.) as they get older and get exposed to more things their interest in weird and atypical things will take them down a lot of genre rabbit holes and they'll get into some weird ambient noise projects and things like you'll just find them sitting there blissing out to a single long drone and if you ask they explain it's a recording of a guy sitting in a room

2. they cut their own hair! they're uncomfortable with people being too close and touchy near their face for too long so after talking it out w toriel they're allowed to do their own haircuts. obviously they don't do them often. they have some mild sensory sensitivity re: light that they're subconsciously using the bangs to compensate for (they have not yet realized that other people don't hate going outside at 2pm bc the sidewalks are too bright)

3. they stash snacks around for later and then forget about them. this means once in a while while looking for something else they discover a bag of gummi bears taped under the bed or some shit and they're always like Score

4. most of their wardrobe is hand me downs from Asriel, and they feel uncomfortable asking for new clothes when Toriel and Asgore are both kinda Making It Work monetarily. they have one really nice long skirt that they save wearing for special occasions

5. they don't actually like the taste of moss that much. originally it was meant to be a one time Bit that they did to fuck w ralsei and the player but now they've realized they can make it a Running Bit and Susie is playing along so fuck it they're seeing where it goes

6. they rarely if ever swear because one time they swore and word made it back to toriel and they convinced themself that she's capable of detecting swearing from several miles away

7. as a prank they got a bunch of cheap kids toy ice-es figurines and hid them around Noelle's house in the weirdest fucking spots. these horrible misprinted things are still lurking in some corners and cupboards and once in a while kris just feels a deep sense of satisfaction settle over them and Knows

8. they don't like glitches and such in games, at least not the way Noelle does. they tend to really project onto the leads and want to help them get The Best Possible Route with everything being done the way the protag would want it, and doing weird sketchy route breaking stuff makes them uncomfortable in ways they can't name. (yes it does turn out they also hate it when they're the protag)

9. their main stims are bouncing up onto their toes a lot when excited and brushing their hands rapidly over fabric when they need to calm themself down. they'll also play out piano notes on their thighs and stuff when sitting down, and they doodle endlessly in class. none of this happens when the soul is present.

10. they really love their friends and want the best for them and want everyone to be happy and they're just a good weird kid who deserves better

[prttylilbunny]

what ab reader meeting someone else and they get close and ellie notices and gets jealous and then realizes

WHY NOT ME PT.2

--------------------------------------------------

part one

plot: you have a crush on your best friend sadly she doesn't reciprocate

warnings: slight angst, gingers, fluff

word count: 1.0k

notes: thank you fruity ppl for giving me ideas🫶🏼🫶🏼 I chose this idea because I love this trope, sorry if I got it wrong but I tried 😞 also scottie is from the book she gives my crazy! i LOVE gingers so I chose her for the extra character!! enjoy😈😈

--------------------------------------------------

it has been two weeks since your gut reaching conversation with ellie and you hadn't seen her anywhere, but not like a you've seen out but not talked to her, but you have not seen her at all. maria had mentioned that someone new just come to town, maybe you could benefit from that, you slipped your shoes on and checked yourself in your mirror before walking out the door, while walking down your porch and zipping up your jacket you see maria with a face you've never seen before.

a tall ginger following behind her, maria noticed your presence and smiled and waved at you, 'come over here' she shouted, you jog over to them and greet them, 'this is Scottie' maria nods her head over to the girl beside her, she puts out her hand to shake and you gladly shake it, you tell her your name before noticing her shirt, she's wearing a shirt with your favorite band?! finally someone here who doesn't have music taste of an old man.

'hey I like your shirt!' you grin and point to the oversized shirt, she chuckles before speaking, 'thanks, I found it at some random mall and their my favorite band so I brought it back' you could see a light tint of pink spread on her face, 'well I'll leave you guys to it' maria patted your shoulder before leaving, 'so scottie how're you liking jackson so far' she chuckled, 'its nice, I mean it's cold and a little crowded but it's nice' you stuffed your hands in your pockets trying to warm them up, 'yeah it's very cold but at least it's like functioning you know' you let out a light awkward laugh.

you and scottie walk around town for a little while longer, you showed her every corner of the place, talked about each others interests or just sitting in comfortable silence. when you reached her house it was already 2pm, 'well scottie this was very fun and it's nice to have a new friend I guess' you awkwardly shifted around her porch, 'yeah it was' she grinned, you looked her in the eyes and face and noticed all her details, freakels, scares, everything.

you said goodbye to each other and got going, while going walking you could only think about her, that was the only thing on your mind, Scottie. when you got home you took off your jacket and shoes and laid down on your couch, you slowly drifted into a soft slumber, sadly only a couple hours later you were awoken by a knock. you sleepily opened your eyes and got up, 'one second' you shouted, you swung the door open and we're met with a patiently waiting scottie. 'oh hey' you smiled, 'hey can I come in it's kinda cold...' you quickly moved away from the door and let her in shutting the door behind you.

'what's up?' you leaned your back against your door, 'oh I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner tomorrow, not as like a date or maybe if you want it to be I don't-' she was cut off by you accepting the date, you hung out a but more before it got dark and she returned home. You laid in your bed that night unable to sleep anxious for your upcoming date.

finally it was time for your date you got ready and rushed out the door almost late, when you got there you saw her waiting for you at a booth in the corner of the bar, you sat down and stared chatting, from the corner of your eyes you saw the door open and someone come in, that someone was ellie. you mumbled a quick curse under your breath before turning your attention back to scottie and continuing your conversation, the rest of your date you could feel someone starting at you even sometimes hearing her talk to herself.

when your date was finally over you walked out of the bar and noticed ellie following, 'fuck' you thought to yourself, you decided it was better to tell Scottie you weren't over someone, I mean you really didn't want to hurt her. 'this was really nice scottie, but uhm...I don't think this is gonna work and I hate saying this but it's not because of you, it's just I still have feelings for someone else and I don't think I'm gonna get over then anything time soon' you looked down at the ground and itched your arm.

'oh, uhm that's okay, whatever you need, I'm just glad I got to have one date together' she said with a light smile on her face, you hugged her and thanked her before saying goodbye. after she stared walking away ellie came in sight, you sighed and looked at her, 'why are you here?' you questioned trying to fight the tears welling in your eyes, she stood closer to you and looked you in the eyes, 'i think love you too' she whispered so quietly you almost couldn't hear it, 'what?' she quickly looked down at her feet, 'yeah I do' you looked back up at you nervously fidgeting with her fingers.

you moved even closer to her, 'what about dina?' you whispered back, 'i broke up with her, I told her I realized I was scared of my feelings towards you, but I don't think I am anymore, I wanna...be with you' she confessed, your eyes widened a bit a sudden dump of information, 'oh, well I think I wanna be with you...' she couldn't help but smile at that, she felt her face get hot and impulsively kissed you, it took you a second to register what was happening but as soon as you did you kissed back, you put your hands around her neck like you'd seen in old cheesy rom-coms.

she pulled away and looked at you with the softest eyes you'd ever seen and a grin, 'so do you have a question to ask me ellie?' you raised your eyebrow, ellie nodded and chuckled, 'woukd you do the honor of being my girlfriend' she proposed in an exaggerated way, you smiled and quietly laughed, 'yes ellie I would love to' you pulled her closer and crashed her lips with yours once again. hopefully you would be her third and last girlfriend.

[thegodmother007]

My New Neighbor Chapter 2: Close Call with Neighbors

TRIGGER WARNING: This story will eventually contain violence, angst, threat of death, swearing, dark humor, adult themes like sex & drugs, racism, classism, sexism etc. Do not say you have not been warned

It’s been a busy month for me but I am finally settled into my new place & getting the hang of the new job. I was lucky enough to have been bartending at Dave & Cruster’s prior to my move, so a transfer to the closest location to my new place was the easiest part of my transition, so far. Everything else has been..a challenge, putting it lightly. On my move-in day, I encountered quite a few comments about how my furniture looked like “Doll’s furniture” by some of the giant apartment residents passing by. A few times, I turned to see a few of them watching me struggle with furniture they could have held in their hands. I felt a sense of embarrassment when I noticed them staring, but I tried not to let it show. I reminded myself multiple times that Humans have their strengths & weaknesses and giants have their strengths & weaknesses. I am great at other things like my bartending, I am a fantastic guitar player (at least I would like to think so) & I can make a mean steak. I doubt any other resident of the apartment complex can claim all three of those things. 

In the days following moving in, I experienced first hand how careless the other residents can be. On a Tuesday afternoon, I was headed out of my place to start my 2pm-10pm shift at Cruster’s but was unnecessarily stopped from getting into my mustang. A giant man was on his porch, smoking what smelled like a spliff, which would have been fine IF he was not supposed to be watching his son. When I entered the parking lot, I noticed his son, a giant himself easily towering almost 40ft, playing with his toy cars, scattered around  my very real car. I quickened my pace, shoving my fear of the giant child aside, keeping my eyes on my baby, my Ford Mustang GT. “Hey!” I yelled towards the child who, as curiosity would have it, finally picked up my car to inspect it, like one of his toys. I ran towards the child who sits cross-legged in the parking lot. The boy’s attention gravitates towards me & my yelling “Put my car down, now! That is not a toy & you should not be touching it!” I stopped running towards the kid when I noticed a surprised look and a twinkle of mischief shining in his eye. He looked at my car, then back down at me, where I could see the gears in his mind turning. With the hand closest to me, he reaches over towards me, trying to grab me. I was lucky though, as his first attempt at snatching me up was missed. I backed up quickly as the child went to stand, my baby still in his hand. I kept my eyes on him as I backed away, noticing the sticky finger prints he was leaving on the black paint of my freshly waxed mustang. Once the kid stood, he towered over me, blocking out the sun that shone behind him. My nerves were on fire as my instinct to run kicked in, but I did not want to leave my car in the hands of a child who could cost me thousands in damage. However, it was clear upon the first step he took towards me, that running was my best option. I turned and ran as fast as my legs would take me, which compared to the kid, wasn’t very fast. I spotted the father again, who from a distance, was trying to make out what his son was doing. “Sir! Please help me!” I called out to the man who was now standing up, aware of the unfolding situation. I look behind me to see the smile on the child’s face as he has caught up to me and was swiftly reaching down to grab me once again. Thankfully, the deep thunder of his father’s voice rang out “DYLAN!” He shouted, which stopped both of us in our tracks. Dylan looked up to his father who was now marching over to where his son & I were in the parking lot. As the huge man approached, I was not sure how thankful I was that he was intervening, as the closer he got, the weaker my legs felt. 

I did what I could not to hurt my neck when I looked up, up, up to the father’s face, which peered down to where I was. Dylan’s father noticed that his son held a car which did not belong to him or belong to the collection he brought outside. With one word, Dylan’s father was able to force the child to follow the directions I failed at, earlier. “Gimme” his father said in a stern and cold voice, holding out his hand to his son, who promptly handed him my Ford Mustang. The father inspected it and for a moment, I wondered if he planned on keeping it for himself. It was not unheard of for a giant to collect cars, as they did not have access to them personally. Cars were strictly a human thing, while giants were tasked with walking, biking or commuting via train or trolly. My thoughts were interrupted by the father directing his child to “Get inside.” Which was met with little protest besides an annoyed sigh from Dylan. Once Dylan left, his father looked to me, who was doing everything in my power not to shake or seem intimidated. His father gently placed my car down next to me, while taking a knee “I don’t see any damage to the vehicle.” He says, not considering the damage to my pride, but I say nothing in return. His knee thudded with a noticeable tremor into the concrete of the parking lot, which I could feel up my spine. He crouches down, laying a hand on the ground next to me, examining me next. “Are you new to the apartment?” He asks me, undoubtedly getting a closer look at the Human he does not recognize. “Y-yes” I said with a humiliating crack to my voice, which I was quick to cover with a clearing of my throat & further elaboration “Yes, I moved in this last week. I’m Cain” I said with a deep bow. Shaking hands with a giant was not customary, as the danger of injury was ever present, so you bow as an alternative. The man nodded his head at me, as an informal bow back to me. “My name is Brax, been living here for about a year and a half, give or take. Not many humans live in this complex, I wasn’t sure if they were even offering the housing program anymore seeing as so few humans took advantage of it.” He is trying to strike up a conversation with me, great. Just what I needed after narrowly escaping his son’s attempt at playing with me like I was one of his toys. But what else can I do in this situation besides make nice with the man who was easily 75 feet  tall and was just holding my car in his hand. I take a breath and put on the false bravado that gets me tips at work & got me accepted into the program “Well, you can’t beat these rent prices! It was just too good to pass up!” I say trying to make light of the situation, hoping to get rid of the feeling of body numbing fear I had at this moment. The giant man nods his head in agreement “You’ve got that right! I figured it was a really good way to introduce my children to humans, now that we’re integrated. Which, by the way, sorry about Dylan.” The man brings an embarrassed hand to the back of his neck where he rubs it anxiously. “He is a handful and often gets into things he shouldn’t. I usually let him play with his cars in the parking lot because no one ever parks here, until now. I’ll have him play with his cars somewhere else, out of your way.” I couldn’t help but let my jaw go slack for a moment as he apologized for his son’s behavior. I was quick to close my mouth before I caught some flies & was noticed. “I-um, yes that would be great, thank you. And don’t worry, kids are going to be kids, right?” I wondered if there was more to what he was going to say. But he didn’t, he smiled and rolled his eyes “You’re telling me. But let me get out of your way, Cain, I need to go have a talk with Dylan.” He said, giving me a wink as he stood, which both comforted me and unsettled me. I hope he is not too much of a disciplinarian, I would hate to be on Dylan’s bad side.

All I did was wave back at Brax as he turned to leave, his sandaled feet shaking the ground with every titanic step he took back towards his home. I got in my car with bile seeping up my throat as I spotted the ghosts of grimy fingerprints on my windows. I thought back to 5 minutes ago, when Dylan’s hand was wrapped around my vehicle. I anxiously thought about how different this story would have been if I were already in my car when he grabbed it. I couldn't jump out & scream for help like I had earlier. There would be no way out unless the boy let me go. I recall the flash of mischief I saw in his eye when he decided to pick up my car. I remember the look of desire he had when looking at me, like I was a shiny new toy for him to break. My mind was racing with all the possible outcomes that could have happened today, leading me to have to stop a panic attack from coming on before my shift. 

I stroked the dashboard of my car, as if it was the one about to have a panic attack, when the reality was it was me who needed comforting. I assured myself that I was okay & my baby was okay, trusting that Brax would ensure Dylan stays away from me. A few moments of breathing later, a wave of relief washed over me when I started the car up with no issues. The revving of her engine was enough to send goosebumps up my arms as I listened to her purr. “Thank God” I thought to myself. Last thing I want to do is go back to Brax & ask him for compensation for the damages his kid made to my car. “If I had it my way, I would never have to talk to either of them again.” I thought as I pulled out of the parking lot, hoping to God my shift would be an easy one. 

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[call-me-a-simp]

Heal My Wounds

Rhea's Friends (Part 7)

Rhea Ripley x Reader

Tw: physical and sexual abuse, toxic relationship, selfharm, eating disorder

Summary: You are in a toxic relationship with an abusive man but manage to run away. A tall, black haired woman picks you up from the streets just in time so your ex doesn't get you. But who is she and why does she seem so familiar to you? As you get to know each other you start to notice weird feelings you never had before whenever she's around.

Rhea opens the door to let in the three boys. The shortest one hugs Rhea, he didn't even notice you yet.

"Who is this?" a very tall and muscular man asks. He scares you a bit. Rhea smiles and puts an arms around you.

"Do you wanna introduce yourself or should I do it for you?" she whispers. "You please" you answer. You're scared she might tell them about what happened but you also didn't dare to speak for yourself just yet.

"So, this is y/n, she's staying at mine for some time so get used to it." Demi tells the boys.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Dominic but you can call me Dom like everyone else." the short one who hugged Rhea says.

"I'm Damian" says the tall one and reaches out to shake your hand. You shyly return the gesture.

"And I'm Finn" the third one who hasn't spoken yet says. You just nod and try to smile at them.

"Alright" Rhea says and grabs your hand. You follow her into the living room, they boys right behind you.

They sit down on the couch and Dominic turns on the TV. "Come here y/n" Demi says. Only now do you realize that you're the only one still standing.

You sit down next to her at the end of the couch. She puts her arm around you and leans back. "So what's the plan for today?" Rhea asks.

"What about we play some games and order pizza later. We could also watch a movie then" Finn says.

"Or we could make a horror movie marathon" Dom says enthusiastically. "No way, as much as I'd love to but y/n here can't stand horror." Rhea quickly throws in.

"What about we watch some stupid movies to laugh about" Damian suggests. "Oh yes, do you wanna watch barbie?" Demi says and looks at you. You shrug "fine by me"

"OK yeah, let's do it" Dom says and scrolls through a list of movies to find what they're looking for. "I'll order pizza, what do you guys want?" Finn says.

Everyone orders except for you. "What do you want y/n?" Damian says. "Nothing thanks" you reply shyly.

"y/n can we talk for a sec?" Rhea says and stands up. You're confused but follow her into the kitchen.

Demi leans against a counter and looks at you. "What is it that you wanna talk about?" "Are you hungry?" she asks.

You give her a confused look. "No why you asking?" you lie. "Because it's almost 2pm and you haven't eaten anything today except the little breakfast we had at around 9."

You sigh "I'm just not comfortable with eating in front of other men" Rhea gives you a sad smile "okay, but if you change your mind you can always take some of my pizza ok?" "thank you" you smile.

You return to the living room and join the boys who waited with the start of the film until you were back.

It was actually more fun than you originally thought. You were even comfortable enough to laugh out loud, even if it wasn't often, and steal one of Rhea's pizza slices.

It was around 10pm when Demi practically threw the boys out because they just wouldn't leave. "Byee" you both said before Rhea closed the door behind them.

"That wasn't as bad as I thought, they're pretty cool" you say and she grins at you. "Yea, I liked it too but I'm pretty tired now." Demi yawns.

You hesitate before asking "can you sleep with me in the bed again?" Rhea smirks, "sure" then grabs your hand and leads you to the bedroom.

You both get ready for bed and lay down. "Demi?" you whisper. "hm" she hums. "I know you're tired and everything but can we cuddle? I feel a bit lonely right now."

"Of course, come here love" she responds and stretches out her arm so you can snuggle up to her.

I like the feeling I get when we touch. You think. Damn I never felt this way with him, like, actually cared for and protected and comfortable and all that.

"Good night" Rhea whispers. You feel her lips slightly brushing the top of your head.

I wonder what it would be like to kiss her. "Good night Demi, thank you for everything!" "You're welcome" she says and pecks you on your head.

Heat rushes through your body. Something you never felt before. With your ex you always wished for things to be over as soon as possible, with Rhea you wanted them to never end.

---------------------------------------------------

Part sevennnn and many more planned ;)

Wishes, suggestions etc in the comments.

Taglist: @thatonepansexual2000

[la-principessa-nuova]

one of the hard things is like so many different stressful things are all happening at once and have been for months, and they’re like the “serious” kind of stressful things that neurotypical people hear and are like “oh yeah that’s a lot to go through at once”, but then on top of that I’m still just as stressed about things like it being 11 AM and I’m working and I have an appointment 15 minutes away around 2pm, that I am totally prepared for, and yet it’s circling around my brain like I have to be there in 10 minutes and I’m running late. And then the worry about the social situation of it, and the worries of the social situations of work in general.

somewhat long and rambly general life venting after the fold:

And that worry magnified by being recently out at work and finally getting to the point of always doing errands like this in girlmode, and then the distractions that were pulling me away from the worry for a bit before are now all part of the worry because now that I’m fully out, while the not hiding is a huge relief, it does mean that all the things I was siloing are all colliding in big ways. And at the same time, the more I start feeling like me and like a person, the more I ache for the parts of life I haven’t been doing, so the comfort zone I wish I could slide back into while I get through some of this stuff is just gone.

And it starts to feel like I’m being crushed by it all, and that’s tough. But at least the good parts finally feel right. I’m finally thinking about what I want rather than just how to please others. But it’s still a constant battle to do that, and thinking about what I want leads to yearning. Not just yearning yearning, but like generally yearning for the life I don’t have, the local friends I don’t have, the activities I don’t do, the places I haven’t been. But doing any of those is a lot of work and requires a lot of capacity for executive function that I don’t have available.

And I don’t feel totally hopeless, because I know what it takes to get some of these things. It just requires big first steps and even thinking about them to make them concrete is scary. And like, I know what will happen is the thing where I finally feel not burnt out and then I take on one more new thing, and then I feel crushed by it.

ahhhhhh

It really does feel like I need at least week off of work and name change stuff and appointments and everything to relax, at least a week off work to focus on getting some things done and over with to just cross them off the list, and at least a week off to figure out what I need to do next. But like, that’s not how things work. Because even though I could justify 2 weeks off with everything going on, I’m not sure I could even relax until all of this is over, and work has been my escape from it. I’ve actually been more able to do things on work days than weekends, even after working all day, because as soon as my mind is idle and I don’t have a 100% clear plan and the motivation to follow through, I start to spiral and can’t focus.

even just being in meetings at work where i don’t talk for a while gets me in my head like this. Hence why I’m still typing this so long after I started, because I started it during a meeting and I just don’t want to face the pressure of getting things done before my appointment this afternoon.

Ok, like, trying to be practical and optimistic, I do need more sleep. I think a lot of the panic is because I’m feeling hopeless that it will ever get better, and then when it’s time for bed, I tend to start to finally get productive and then stay up until 2-3 AM (if I’m lucky and it’s not 4-5) working on stuff. But I get up at 8(ish) and that’s just not enough sleep at all. Over the last week, I slept an average of 4h 14m per night. And I don’t feel good. Like clearly that is the main issue with my brain right now as stressful as everything else is, and the reason the world feels like it’s closing in often is definitely because I want to fall asleep. It’s just so hard with this brain state to put in the executive function to be better.

ok, i’m gonna do a couple things right now to try to fix the sleep issues. This actually really helped to vent this and come across the sleep thing bc thinking about how that sounds to somebody other than myself makes me appreciate how much I need drastic action to fix my sleep. Ok bye now.

[thunderbunny24]

Is Three Company or a Crowd?

This idea has been bouncing around my head since I read a short story about Skeet Ulrich and Matthew Lillard doing the Eiffel Tower pose in a story by @storiesforallfandoms.

Summary - In your teens you had a huge crush on Skeet and Matt because of Scream. Now you have a chance to date them. The problem is they both like you and you like both of them. You all decide to try being a throuple but have to deal with all the ups and downs that come with that life.

Part 1

            You stood in the middle of the aisle at Lowes with your arms crossed over your chest trying to figure out how to reach the staple gun you needed that was higher up than you could reach.  If this was the grocery store, you would have no problem finding a tall person to help you out, but Lowes at 2pm on a Tuesday was practically dead and all the employees seemed to be on break together.  You looked down the aisle, towards the front of the store when you saw someone walk past.  You left your cart of items and jogged down the aisle, trying to catch up to the person you saw.  When you got to the end of the aisle, you loudly said, “Excuse me!”  The person stopped and turned around.  “Hi!  Can you please help me?”

            “I don’t work here,” the man replied.

            You smiled and flipped your long, blonde hair over your shoulder.  “That’s fine.  I just need someone taller than me.”

            The man chuckled and nodded.  “That I can do.”  He started walking towards you.  The closer he got, the more you felt like you recognized him.  Once he was close enough to practically touch you, he looked up at you and you both locked eyes.  “What can I help you reach?”  You felt like you had been hit with a ton of bricks.  You recognized this man because you had a huge crush on him almost 30 years ago.  Skeet Ulrich was standing in front of you and you were having to will yourself to not call him Billy Loomis.  “Miss?”

            You shook your head to wake yourself out of your haze.  “I’m sorry…umm, yeah, just follow me, please.”  You walked down the aisle to where you left your cart.  You pointed to a shelf that was above your head.  “I need that staple gun, please.”

            Skeet was basically eye level with it and easily grabbed it and handed it to you.  “Here you go.  Anything else you need me to grab?”

            You let out a small laugh.  “Yeah…everything else I need from every store EVER.”  You rolled your eyes at yourself.

            “You are a bit compact.”  Skeet teased.

            You looked Skeet up and down.  “We can’t all be over 6 feet tall.”  You winked at him.  “Us barely over 5 footers need help.”  Skeet chuckled.  You stuck out you hand for him to shake.  “Thank you for helping.  My name is Katy.”

            He shook your hand.  “Anytime.  I’m Skeet.”  You both stood there in an awkward silence for a bit.  “I can stay with you to get the rest of your stuff if you need me too.  I’m just here to get a couple 2x4’s and some nails.”

            You grabbed your cart and started walking with Skeet right beside you.  “Are you fixing something or building something?”

            “Building a coffee table for a friend actually and didn’t buy enough wood the other day.”  Skeet took his baseball cap off and ran his hands through his hair before putting it back on.  “What about you?  What do you have going on with all these items?”

            You glanced down at your cart and the list showing on your phone.  “Getting supplies to build a homecoming float.”

            Skeet nodded.  “Cool.  Do you work for a local school or something like that?”

            You bit your lip.  “Something like that.  I am the Head Spirit Coach at USC and my teams were asked to do a Make a Wish for a local kid who got voted Homecoming King.”

            “Wow!”  Skeet looked over at you.  “I now have like a hundred questions.”

            You let out a small laugh.  “Take me out to dinner and I’ll answer anything you want.”  You tried to look as cool and confident as you sounded but inside you were freaking out that you were actually trying to flirt with Skeet Ulrich.  You were sure every woman that meets him flirts with him and you weren’t really anything special.  Just because you ran into a celebrity in the real world while living in Los Angeles didn’t mean you had a chance with them.

            “I can’t do dinner tonight, but maybe we can grab a coffee or something after this.”  Skeet’s eyes kept darting between you and the floor.

            “I’m usually always down for coffee,” you smiled up at him, “but I have to be at the kid’s school with all the supplies in about an hour.”  Skeet’s shoulder’s fell.  “How about I give you my number and we can schedule something for another day?”  Skeet nodded and got his phone out of his pocket and handed it to you.  You added yourself to his contacts as Katy – USC Coach (blonde from Lowes), then texted yourself from his phone before handing it back to him.

            You both finished up your shopping together, with Skeet even loading your purchases into the back of your SUV for you, then gave each other a hug goodbye and went your separate ways.  You honestly didn’t expect to ever hear from Skeet again, but for a moment, teenage you got to live out her fantasy of hanging out with the celebrity you were sure you were going to marry when you grew up, and that at least was a good enough moment for you.

            To your surprise, the next day you received a text from Skeet and that afternoon you spoke on the phone with him for over an hour.  This went on for weeks with you both texting and calling and getting to know each other better, but he hadn’t even attempted to ask you out.  You wanted to ask him, but you didn’t want to be pushy and if he was holding off, there had to be a reason.  You had invited him to come to an USC football game to both enjoy the game and see you in action with your cheer and dance teams, but he had a con almost every weekend and hadn’t been able to come to a game yet.  You had come to the realization that whatever was going on between you both probably wasn’t going to go further than a phone friendship.  Although that wasn’t what you would hope for, you had become very accustom to sharing your day, hopes, dreams, nightmares and life in general with Skeet.

            You were surprised one morning when he texted asking if you would like to come over to his place for dinner that night and to meet some of the first Scream cast.  You accepted and offered to make some cookies for the event.  You thought maybe this is how he handles relationships.  Spends lots of time getting to know you then sees what his friends think.  If not, at least you would get to spend some in person time with Skeet and meet other actors that you were crazy about as a teen.  Skeet wasn’t the only guy from the cast you had a crush on back in the day.

            You did text and ask if this was a date, but he didn’t text or call you until a few hours later and when he did, he brought up a totally different subject.  You decided not to push it.

[omniseurs-blog]

I've been hearing recently from my brother and his GF that they're tired of being my parents.

It's hard to admit that you're not doing enough or that you don't take initiative or that you are, from an outside perspective, lazy. It's even harder to make permanent change and become better.

Yesterday I was proud to just shower and gargle some mouthwash, today the same reasons I haven't been showering or brushing my teeth bubble up. The bathroom door doesn't close all the way and I don't feel like it's private enough, I haven't done anything physical to "warrant a shower" (it's summer, it's hot, it's sweaty, I need to shower whether I see a reason or not), and "well I'm almost done with this task, I'll do it when I'm done", and then the task leads to another.

It's the same with any other thing, I don't clean the dishes because I'm not in the kitchen, because other people are in the kitchen, because it's not "mentally stimulating", because I just need to finish doing what I'm doing at the moment, because I'm tired, because...

The issue is me, the issue is I don't want to, the issue is I forgot, the issue is I'm busy, the issue is there's a rat in my brain that refuses to turn the wheel unless there's a giant chunk of cheese barely out of reach that it's convinced it can reach if it tries a little harder, and the cheese is missing for tasks that aren't seen as fun.

So how do I make this time different? How do I make this time fun? How do I make myself do it, never stop doing it, and want to do it more frequently?

Here's my current issue, if I stack habits like recommended, the only habits I have are waking up (around 11am-2pm), taking my meds (mostly around 12-4am), going to sleep (at inconsistent times, 1-6am), eating (at inconsistent times, sometimes skipping meals), and learning/doing hobbies (throughout the day). Anything else is on a day to day basis, sometimes missed for days or weeks on end, sometimes abandoned all together, no consistent time, no consistent schedule, no habitual reoccurrence.

I've tried stacking habits when I wake up, I managed to brush my teeth every morning for 2 weeks before the excuses piled up, the avoidance replaced the habit, and the guilt turned to "well, that's just how it is now". I've tried attaching a reward to it, but the reward became boring the same day it was added, I've tried switching rewards to playing video games, but the game became boring and I'm not interested in it as much as whatever I was actually interested in, I've tried switching it to "just doing anything else", but it felt like a punishment and I avoided it, I've tried switching it from a reward to trying to see it as a mandatory part of living, but my brain went "you're disabled, your style of living is different from normal", and lastly, I tried some of the advice in "atomic habits", repeating to myself "I am a clean person, I am healthy, I am not a smoker" and this is where I would say I am lost "because I tried everything"

But that's the thing, I am not lost. I am mentally ill, I do struggle with depression and disorganized behaviors. This is an ongoing problem. On top of that, I gave up over and over. I tried some of those only once, and after that first time, like many people do, made the mistake of "if it doesn't work once, it will NEVER work!", in the spirit of repeatedly blowing into a cartridge until it does work, that's almost never the case. Imagine having that mindset while learning to do a backflip or learning a martial art, or learning a sport, or learning to draw. It's either the way you did it, how quick you gave up, or the environment you were doing it in.

Here's my goals going forward

-try ANY of the methods again, ANY of them

-Stick with that specific method for at LEAST 30 days, not even necessarily 30 days in a row, but a total of 30 days

-if it doesn't work after 30 days, try ANOTHER method for at least 30 days

-slowly stack up habits, if it begins to crumble, remove a habit

-start a routine, go to sleep and wake up consistently, take medications consistently, and eat consistently for the bare minimum

-adapt as symptoms get better or worse

[cryptidsurveys]

Friday, July 26th, 2024.

Do you like coffee? I do.

Do your eyes ever twitch? Sometimes.

Do you get excited when you get something in the mail that isn’t a bill? No. Because if it's not a bill, then it's probably paperwork of some sort and I hate paperwork.

What was the last thing you wrote by hand? I signed out after volunteering earlier.

Why did you last feel exhausted? I currently feel somewhat emotionally/socially exhausted. Sometimes things just get to me. It's been a day like any other - nothing all that different or out of the ordinary has happened - but it's like my defenses/reserves just aren't functioning the way they usually do. It's exhausting to try so hard, to continue putting myself out there, but to still feel like a permanent outcast.

Have you ever used emotional blackmail to get your own way? I'm not sure what you mean by emotional blackmail, but have I ever been emotionally manipulative? Sure.

Has anybody ever used emotional blackmail on you? I guess.

Assuming you have any, is your hair soft today? Not really. My hair always feels so dry.

Who did you last worry about and why? I'm not sure who that would have been.

When are you next at work? I'm just going to answer work-related questions with my volunteer stuff from now on. I'll be there again on Sunday, probably for a full day.

Do you enjoy your work? Yeah. I get to spend my day around a ton of cats, and the actual "work" aspect is relatively easy and straightforward. I'll give a basic rundown.

Depending on the day, I'll get there sometime between 7-8am.

Start laundry; fold and put away any clean stuff.

If Alex or Diane is there, then I'll go back to cattery around 7:30 and start getting things set up - line up carriers to put the cats in while we clean the colonies + get the dish/scoop/rag/mop bins ready if someone else hasn't already done that.

Clean colonies and kennels from around 8-10:30 (sometimes it takes a bit longer; sometimes it goes by quite quickly). We wipe everything down, refill food and water, scoop litter, change bedding if needed, and sweep and mop colonies.

I don't do all of the following tasks - it's kind of divided up between whoever is there - but then we wash dishes and scoops, sweep and mop the main room, clean out and put away carriers, take out the trash, and straighten things up.

Then we chill out for a bit and play with the kitties. Go to lunch sometime around 11-12pm.

Come back, continue to chill; help direct other volunteers or anyone looking to adopt.

I think around 2pm is the afternoon feed, so we'll feed the cats, let them eat, pick up and wash dishes. They let me feed yesterday, so that was cool. :')

3pm, second litter scoop + clean scoops afterward.

Shortly before 4pm, go get Smeagle from the office and put him back in his cattery kennel.

4pm, go around the whole shelter and empty and replace trash bags, then take trash out to the big dumpster.

Around 4:30-5pm, see if the dog side needs any help with things; so maybe do dishes, fill water bowls, mop and dry kennels, pick up stuff from the yards, take stuff to the back to spray it down, etc.

Annnd get out whenever all that's finished and final checks are done. Sometimes it's close to 6pm, but yesterday we managed to get out of there at 5:15.

Are you currently looking for a new place to live? No.

When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I'm not sure. I don't tend to put myself in that sort of situation.

Can you see any toys from where you’re sat? Do stuffed animals count? I can see a couple of those.

Last time you heard a growl, who or what did it come from? Probably a cat at the shelter.

Does it bother you when you forget something that you should know? Yeah. Or whenever I forget to do or mess up something simple.

What was the last thing you put off doing? Cleaning the bathroom. I'll do that when I'm finished here, though.

When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? I've never done that before.

What was the last thing you cooked? I haven't done any real cooking in quite some time. Most I'll do is heat stuff up on the stove/in the oven or put something in the microwave.

Do you eat your dinner at a dining table, coffee table or just off your lap? I usually eat in my room, at my computer desk. Sometimes I'll eat at the kitchen table and chat with my dad, though. Especially after full days at the shelter because it's pretty much like - get home, shower, eat, get ready to go to bed.

When did you last see the sea? Not since I was a teen.

Which would you prefer as a view; mountains or the sea? Mountains.

Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) I don't have a laptop.

Do you apologise a lot? Not excessively…? I mostly just use it as a variation of "excuse me" if I accidentally get in someone's way or whatever.

Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? No.

[essiekuko]

typical monday rant 😴

that’s not fair nicole ur 5’2 ofc ur gonna be lower than 100lbs 😭😭

u guys like. i have heather duke in my pfp. how else did u expect me not to have an €d lmfao

finally getting back into f4st1ng, like it’s abt time. it’s almost christmas soon and like my whole family tree is coming over. i need my sk1nny comeback asap. my longest f4st was from sept 30 - oct 3 (mean girls day hehe) for 74hrs. i didn’t even know about keto, c4ls, i just had sunrise fast app and a dream lmfao. and i just did it just like that. now it’s nov and it’s pretty much now or never

it gets easier when u either sk1p the start of day m34l or end of day of m34l. like if u sk1pp3d brek/din u set urself up for a successful f4st. that and avoiding the kitchen at all times lmfaoo

idek anything abt berserk but i just b liking it cause of guts and casca. shld i even be liking it cause of guts and casca cause i feel like i shouldn’t like i feel like something bad happens that i don’t wanna know. which is why i’ll never read it (fanboys cry harder)

anyway i like that girl with the short blonde hair in the cute two braids i think? what era is this berserk even taking place in. looks either medieval or victorian.

i love misato sm. obviously not what she did. i mean i love mai sm, i especially like her hair and want hair like that soooo bad

this is probably the besttt mean girls broadway cast ♡ i still dk who sabrina played but ik she ate wtv role she got anyway

theres only 3 times in my life where i eat. when im on my period, when i have to study and during family events. rn im on my period AND i have to study smh. so i cant rlly f4st as long as i'd like. i rlly need to lock in especially now bc theres only abt 1 1/2 weeks left of nov and then its december and i srsly cannot be f4t in december. not again!!! my period ends this saturday so by sunday i'll start a big long f4st til the end of nov. and i made up this little challenge, i call it the advent calendar, where i f4st from december 1st to december 25 and christmas will be my big break. december is like perfect f4sting season, cause there's no more exams so no more studying and everyone's in holiday mode. i think. if i get my period before dec 25 it'll fvck everything up, cause even when i dont 3at i still get that stupid fvcking period w31ght g41n. hopefully if it does happen, it'll happen close to dec 25, but not on dec 25, but close so that by the time it's over i would've sl1mm3d back down. my old c4l intake used to be 600cal, but i notice i just 34t over that anyway, so it's 800c4l now and i dont even 34t all the way up to 800, i usually stop at around 750-780. as long as its under 1000 is all that matters. then i kinda get to thinking, if im gonna sk1p din and brek, why 3at at all lol. cause i always be 3ating at around 1-2pm if im feeling hmm idk a bit normal today. and i felt a bit normal today so i 4te unfortunately. but then again im on my period so im not normal??? also bc while i was studying i was falling over the table so i just got up and 4te immediately awww. more honestly, it's cause nobody was around. so i dove straight in and b1nged it out. thats a rlly bad habit but ik its not just my experience. 34ting when nobody's around and then f4st1ng when ur in the public eye. it should be more like this: 34ting when everyone's around to look normal and then f4st1ng when nobodys around. but then thats the thing, ppl want me to 3at, but i dont want to do what ppl want me to do, so i dont 3at kind of in protest of that. and obviously when theres no ppl around to tell me what to do........ and besides, i look normal enough. so who's gonna worry anyway??? i feel like i just annoy ppl when i dont 3at lol. shit i should've just come straight here when i felt hvngry in the first place. then i wouldn't have freaking 3aten at all lol.

OMG THIS. THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABT. if u want to see what im talking abt js search keyword 'live thru this' on my blog. also how do u do that 'below the cut' thing. cause my bulk posts are starting to annoy me.

miss destiny snow is BUILT DIFFERENTT i just had to say that before i move onto my next post but she rlly is!!!

I FOUND THAT ARTIST THAT SPECIFICALLY DRAWS THE UMMM THE THIGN!!!! THE TIGHN!!! THE THING!!! THEY DRAW THE STUFF1!!

[fxllen-rxse]

//Omg.... Wtf.....

Big vent rant under the cut to be deleted later. I may not be at home right now, but this explains how things are going back there. Scroll past if it's not your thing. I completely understand. I'm just venting because it frustrates me to no end...

So I'm from Tulsa, OK. On Saturday night/early Sunday morning a freak wind storm happened. Winds were 100+ mph. 80+ is the criteria to sound the sirens, which were indeed used. Local news tower cam at one point shows footage of almost every transformer within the shot blowing one after the other within seconds. The anticipation of the high winds even prompted a civil emergency alert to be issued at one point.

My husband and I had left for Minnesota the morning before. We knew it was supposed to storm, but nothing like this.

The damage was quite extensive. A vast majority of the city lost power. Poles were down in multiple areas, making most roads impassable. Structures are damaged or destroyed. For lack of better words, this storm has heavily disabled more than half of the city.

As a result, numerous businesses are closed and can't open. This includes multiple gas stations, which the ones who do have power and are open are being overcrowded with many desperately seeking fuel and what little supplies they can get their hands on. Not only that, but heat index this week is nearing or at the triple digits. As one can imagine, without electricity there's no AC.

The city has stepped up and began its own recovery efforts. The mayor immediately signed a disaster declaration. Cooling stations have been opened and crews are working around the clock to clean up and restore electricity. Obviously, it's not happening all at once, but slowly power is getting restored. After all, in one County alone it was near 150,000.

Though, lack of electricity means that most food left in the fridge for about 48 hours should probably be considered spoiled. Already, budgets are tight for many. Having to throw out and replace all of that isn't as easy as it is for some.

I think the major thing that is really bothering me here was that a state of emergency was not declared until 2pm today. The twist? It wasn't our "good ole" governor who did it. Nope, not the Lt. Governor either. It was the Senate President Pro Tem, who was apparently not notified that he was acting governor until about 1pm today.

As for the governor, he's enjoying himself in Paris. Even tweeting about it. No clue where the Lt. Governor is, but he is indeed out of state as well.

So... I'll give the Pro Tem, he got the state of emergency signed within an hour of being told he was acting governor. At least he's actually doing something instead of sending empty thoughts and prayers!

It's so frustrating and infuriating! So far, my husband and I have been fortunate enough to only come out of this with a downed section of fence and at least 2 days without electric. We will have to empty our fridge when we return, but aside from that, everything else looks to be fine. From what we can see, our house didn't appear to make it to 80 degrees inside. So I'm hoping that my refrigerated med will still be fine.

Even though we are not home right now, I can definitely feel all that frustration within the city. It has made it somewhat difficult to actually enjoy this vacation, but we're here and doing our best to make the most of it.

[7ndipity]

((Moments with Them))

A/N: This is been sitting in my drafts for a bit because I couldn't figure out what to title it, but since we just hit 40 followers (thank you!) I thought I'd go ahead and post it. Also thank you all so much for all the love on the recent works, it really means a lot!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Seokjin: 8am(sunday)

Cue the Maroon 5 song; the slow, sleepy vibe to start of a day with nowhere to be but here. Making breakfast together, or rather, you making coffee and watching him make breakfast, but still. Him knocking into your hip playfully as you mill about. Trying to just give him just a lil peck on the cheek as you go to set the table, only to be pulled back by your waist for a 'proper' kiss.

Yoongi:12am(friday)

Late night conversations that trail on, knowing you should say goodnight, but neither of you are willing to say it and break the moment. Tired eyes and cold hands tracing patterns on your skin. Slow, lazy kisses that catch you mid sentence. "I'm sorry, you were saying?" "In a minute." *kiss*. "Can you stay?" He asks softly, forehead resting against yours. "Is that okay?" You asked. He nods, wrapping you up tighter in his hold. "I don't wanna let you go yet."

Hobi:10am(wednesday)

Warm sunlight and blue skies after days and days of grey. Playful kisses. The sudden freedom of an unexpected day off and his ringing laughter leaving you positively giddy as you wander about together. Clinging hands and hugs that make you feel wanted. Him telling you he loves you for nth time, but something in his voice and the way his deep brown eyes seem to see into your soul make it ring a little truer, a little deeper. You feel it in your bones.

Namjoon: 5am(monday)

The quiet just before dawn, before everything has to begin moving. The anxiety and excitement of things that are to come. Leaning into his warmth, relishing in the soft blue-grey lit moments together, light kisses pressed to your shoulder. "I feel safe with you." Lingering touches that might not lead anywhere, but you don't mind, you wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Jimin:2pm/am(tuesday)

A text in the middle of the day to make you smile, despite the chaos around you. Finally falling into each other exhausted at the end of a too long day, yet suddenly too wired to sleep, his presence like a shot of caffeine. Hushed laughter, playing with his hands while you talk only to catch him staring at you, his eyes lulling you into silence as he pulls you into a soft, drawn out kiss before you both finally ease off to sleep.

Taehyung:4pm(thursday)

Lazy, peaceful afternoons with no plans, laying on his bed, close enough to sleep you almost feel like you're floating till his voice gently tugs you back to earth. Sharing stories of what you thought you'd be and what you hope for someday. Smiling in realization that your plots seem to overlap well. Him suddenly rolling you into a crushing bear hug, effectively pinning you beneath him as he showers you in contrastingly gentle kisses.

Jungkook:10pm(saturday)

Driving around the city at night, without any particular destination in mind. Taking turns with the aux, playing songs that you like or remind you of each other. Talking about everything and nothing. Kisses that start out teasing but quickly escalate, betrayed by his own impatience, only to then dissolve into laughter. Swearing you can see the universe in his eyes sometimes. Wishing you could keep this feeling forever, preserved in a bottle on the shelf.

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 13

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 13

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9  

Part 10   Part 11   Part 12

gif credit: @bilyrusso

Part 13

It was 8 in the evening and you were still in the office. You hadn’t accomplished much work today, your mind mostly focused on Billy. You were surprised by how quickly he’d been able to make the funeral arrangements for his mother. Yesterday you had driven over to the nursing home and by the time you reached there, Carla Russo’s body had already been picked up. You’d signed a few papers for Billy and picked up the remainder of Carla’s things before you returned home. Everything of hers was packed into a small suitcase and sitting in your living room. You wanted to call him, ask him how he was and offer your support, but he seemed determined to do everything on his own when you’d talked to him last and you didn’t want to intrude.

You gave yourself a mental shake, reminding yourself to concentrate. This workday had been a wash. When you weren’t distracted by thoughts of Billy, you were putting out fires in your team. At least the personnel conflicts have been temporarily resolved, but now you needed to work on a slide deck that you’d been tasked with presenting to the executive leadership committee later in the week.

An hour later you were halfway done with your presentation when your phone rang. You glanced down at your screen to find Billy’s name on the screen. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He sounded exhausted. “You still at work?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

There was a pause. “You give off the workaholic vibe.”

You smiled to yourself; at least he was okay enough to crack jokes. “How are you?”

“You mean am I grieving over a goddamn dead woman who preferred meth to her own fucking son?” He sighed. “No big loss. I’m fine.”

Anger and hurt saturated his voice despite his attempts to sound unaffected. Your heart hurt for him, you wished there was something you could do. “Do you need anything?”

“The funeral service is tomorrow.” A beat of silence followed. “Do you want to come?”

“Sure. What time?”

“2pm.”

“I’ll take the day off. Do you need my help with anything? Maybe I can call some of her friends?”

“When I found her she was living on the streets, barely alive but still hooked on meth. I doubt she’s got any friends.”

“What about the people in the nursing home? Maybe they want to come?”

“No, I don’t want anyone else there. Just you.”

Not liking the warmth that spread through you upon hearing his words, you reminded yourself he was probably feeling unusually vulnerable. This wasn’t typical of him.

“Do you want to come over?” he asked.

You exhaled a heavy sigh. “I would but I have so much work to do. I’ll be here for another hour at least.”

“Come over after you’re done.”

“It’ll be really late.”

“That’s fine. I can wait.”

“I can stop by my place to pick up your mom’s-.”

“No, it’s okay.”

You realized he wasn’t quite ready to go through Carla’s belongings yet.

“Bring your stuff with you.”

“Stuff?”

“Overnight bag, clothes for tomorrow, whatever.”

“Oh. You want me to stay over?”

“Yeah, might as well. We can drive over together for the service tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Despite the conversation coming to a natural end, he wasn’t hanging up. It seemed as if he was reluctant to be alone, probably because that meant dealing with the complicated emotions for his mother. You knew exactly how that felt. “If you want, I can leave now. I can work from your apartment instead of the office.”

“You’re not worried I’ll be tempted to spy on Valiant stuff?” he teased.

You smiled. “As if I’d let you see what I’m working on.”

“Guess no corporate espionage for me tonight.”

“Still going to keep you away from my laptop.”

He chuckled. “Just get here. I promise not to bug you while you work.”

“Okay. I’m leaving now.”

“See you soon.”

After you hung up, you started gathering your things together.

***

An hour later, you were at his place. When he opened the door, you immediately grew concerned at how tired he looked. Traveling back and forth from Vegas plus dealing with the news about Carla’s death within the last few hours meant he was absolutely exhausted.

“Hey,” he greeted you, smiling as he took the overnight bag from your hands.

You removed your heels while he took your bag inside his room and then made your way to his living room. While his penthouse suite was much bigger than yours, you actually didn’t like it very much. Despite the high-end finishes and the beautiful interiors - Billy had obviously hired a designer to make the place look good - it always felt very cool and inhospitable to you. It was too perfect and you always felt out of place inside the suite.

“You hungry?” he asked, coming up behind you. “I ordered dinner for you.” Arms encircling your waist, he dropped a kiss on the back of your head as he maneuvered you to the kitchen. He’d laid out the food for you on the dining table, and from the take-out containers you knew it was from one of your favourite Indian restaurants. The thoughtful gesture surprised you, you weren’t used to that from him. Noting that he’d only set the table for one, you turned around to look at him. “You’re not going to eat with me?”

“I ate already. I was starving. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” You cradled his face with one hand, your eyes roving over his beautiful face as he placed a kiss on the fleshy part of your palm. “You look exhausted. Did you even sleep?”

“No” He leaned back against the kitchen counter, weary. For a moment he closed his eyes, simply holding still, and you found yourself wrapping your arms around him in a hug. You didn’t understand why you’d even initiated the embrace – hugs were never your thing – but seeing him so beaten-down you were desperate to comfort him. He leaned into you, his body flushed against yours, and you held him tight. Stroking the nape of his neck, you placed a soft kiss on the center of his forehead. “Why don’t you take a nap while I work?”

“You don’t mind?”

You smiled up at him, running your fingers through his hair. “At least I don’t have to worry about you stealing my company secrets while you sleep.”

He smirked. “You’ll be here when I wake up?”

“Yup. Probably still working away.”

Billy grazed your temple softly before dropping a tender kiss on the tip of your nose. “Okay, but eat first.”

You nodded your head, watching after him as he sauntered out of the kitchen and disappeared down the hallway.

Sighing, you went to the sink to wash your hands before eating.

***

It was after midnight and you were still working on your slide deck when you heard Billy puttering around in the bathroom. Soon he slowly made his way towards you, dressed in a t-shirt and black boxers, his hair all messy. He yawned lazily, falling onto the other end of the couch.

“I thought you’d sleep through the night,” you remarked.

“Are you still working?” he asked.

“Almost done.” You saved the file and shut off the laptop before slipping it back inside your bag.

Suddenly he pulled you closer and you found yourself tucked underneath him on the couch as he glanced down at you from above. “You work too hard.”

You smiled up at him. “They don’t pay me the big bucks to sit there and look pretty.”

A slow, incandescent smile curved his lips. “I would. If I ran Valiant, you’d be my personal stress relief. You’d be in my office the entire time and do nothing but look pretty and service me.”

“That’s sexual harassment.”

Billy shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever. I’d make it worth your while.”

You laughed, angling up to kiss him. “Your breath is all minty fresh.”

“I brushed my teeth for you.”

“Wow. Be still my heart.”

A warm grin covered his face as he shifted down your body to nuzzle your neck. His weight was heavy as he rested atop you, but you liked the solid feel of him on you, the way you felt all safe and warm. You stroked his hair while he drew lazy circles on your chest, the silence between you two comforting.

“No one knows about her. Not Frank, not Curtis, no one.”

Those names were familiar to you because Billy had mentioned them in passing a few times. Of course he’d never shared any other info, but you being you, you’d dug around and found out more about them. You knew they’d served with Billy and he considered them his closest friends.

“When I found her three years ago, I put her in that home and forgot all about her.”

“You visited her every week,” you reminded him.

“Because I wanted her to regret abandoning me. I wanted her to see how far I’d come, I wanted to throw her mistakes in her face. But I don’t think she regretted safe-havening me, not even a bit.”

The bitter pain in his voice made your heart hurt for him.

“Maybe I should be happy she’s finally dead, or maybe I’m supposed to be sad or something.”

“How do you actually feel?”

“Nothing. I feel nothing.”

“Billy, I think that’s normal. There’s no right or wrong in this. All of your feelings are valid.”

“Even if her dying made me absolutely ecstatic? You wouldn’t think I was a fucking psychopath?”

“You are a psychopath but not because you have conflicting emotions about your terrible mother dying. You have the right to feel how you feel about her, whatever that might be.”

Eyes blazing with emotion, he hovered about you to meet your gaze. “Then what makes me a psychopath?”

You quirked your eyebrow. “The fact you want to torture my dates.”

“Not just torture, I want to kill them.” Eyes darkened, voice velvety-smooth, he covered your mouth with his and ravaged you with a kiss that left you thrumming and breathless.

“Only you’re allowed to touch me?” you asked through labored breaths.

“Yes.” His voice was a lustful rasp, his mouth leaving a heated trail as he sucked on the oh-so-sensitive corner of where your neck and shoulder intersected. Sparks of electricity ran down your spine. “Only me.”

You took his hand and guided it down your body, parting your thighs for him.

Like always, you were soon completely lost in the erotic pleasure of his mouth on you. Your legs hooked over his shoulders, your hands grabbed the back of the couch for support as he fucked you with his hands and mouth, sucking you, licking you, his tongue flicking over your clit until you were keening under him. Body arching off the couch, you moaned his name louder and louder until he drove you completely over the edge.

Then you felt a light slap on your cunt which immediately brought you back to reality. Opening your eyes, you found Billy perched between your legs, gracing you with the most wicked smile. “That’s one.” He slapped your pussy again, this time his long, lean fingers ever so slightly grazing your clit and your hips bucked, wanting more. “As promised.” His eyebrow quirked up. “Punishment.”

“Not fair,” you protested. “I’ll date who I want.”

He slapped you again, a little harder this time, but then he leaned down to place comforting kisses on the very spots he assaulted and you moaned with pleasure.

“All of you.” His tongue lapped over your clit, eyes locked with yours. “Belongs to me. I own you.”

“You don’t!” You squealed when he flipped you over unexpectedly, grabbing you by the hips so your ass was lifted of the couch. And then he squeezed your butt cheeks, biting them lightly before he started rimming you.

***

After sharing a shower the two of you were laying in his bed, your back pressed against his chest as you both stared up at the ceiling. His one hand was intertwined with yours, the other arm circled around your hips. The two of you didn’t have sex but you didn’t mind. You were both fatigued.

“I smell like you now,” you murmured, realizing the soap in his shower had left its scent on you.

“I know. I like it.” He squeezed your fingers. “I have a present for you.”

“I hope it’s not earrings again.”

He chuckled. “No, not earrings.”

“What is it then?”

“Jewelry.”

You turned back to look at him. “What? Like a necklace?”

“Something like that. Except I’m the only one who’ll see you wearing it.”

“Ah. And where is this gift?”

He kissed the top of your head. “Not here yet.”

You smiled to yourself. “People usually wait until they have the gift in hand before telling others about it.”

“I couldn’t wait. I’m excited to see you wear it.”

He stroked your hair, and your eyes grew heavy. Soon you started falling into deep slumber, feeling calm, comforted by Billy’s arms around you.

“What happened with your family?”

Your eyes flew open. Like always, any mention of your family unfurled anxiety within you. You didn’t like thinking about them letting alone discussing them. “They passed away.”

“They’re dead?”

“Yes.”

“Both of them?”

“Yes.”

He pulled you up so you were facing him now, his intoxicating gaze completely focused on you. “That day when I asked you about the pictures, you said you weren’t close to your family.”

“I meant my extended family. I don’t keep in touch with them,” you replied smoothly.

“What were your parents like?”

Irritation surged through you at his obtrusive questions but you had to remind yourself he just lost his mother. He was feeling out-of-sorts, working through his grief – even if he didn’t think so – and he was reaching out to the only person in his life that knew about his mother. “Normal.”

He simply stared at you for a long time, studying you, saying nothing. “Normal,” he repeated, finally breaking the strained silence.

You shrugged your shoulders, dropping your gaze to the base of his throat so you didn’t have to hold his piercing stare. “Yup.”

“How did they die?”

“Car accident.”

“You miss them?”

“Of course,” you lied.

He reached out to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. “So you grew up with great parents, white picket fence and all that bullshit? Sounds like you had a fairytale childhood.”

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m really tired.”

“Sure. I’ll add this to the list of all the other shit we’ll talk about someday.”

He sounded almost angry with you and you weren’t sure why. Before you could question him, however, he pulled you close so you were snuggled against his chest and the warmth of his body was enough to silence your brain and lull you to sleep.

***

It was a cold, crisp autumn day in New York. The outdoor service, attended by only you and Billy, was short and quick. Throughout it, he’d gripped your hand even though he’d been outwardly calm and collected. Even now as he stood a few feet away from you, impeccably dressed in a black suit, his dark eyes hidden behind a pair of aviator sunglasses as he stared out at the pond, you sensed he was a complete mess inside. You didn’t know what to say to him so you simply sat on the bench, both of you in an isolated corner of the garden. Eventually he came to sit beside you, taking your hand in his.

“I’d have given her the whole world.” His voice was filled with pain and longing as he removed his sunglasses and tucked them in the upper pocket of his suit. “I would have given her anything she ever wanted.” Billy’s eyes met yours. “If she’d just wanted me.”

You scooted closer to wrap your arms around him, breathing him in as he sunk into you. His hands caressed your back, his grip on you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe. After a while he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes holding you prisoner in front of him.

“Swear to me you’ll never leave.”

“Billy-”

“Promise me!”

“I can’t.”

“It wasn’t a fucking request, Y/N.”

You tried to pull away from him but he fisted the back of your hair, holding you in place.

The raw urgency in his voice played havoc with your emotions. If you closed your eyes, just for a moment, you could shut out all the doubts in your head and simply believe him - but you could only live the fantasy for a short moment before reality forced its way back in. “You don’t mean those words, Billy.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you don’t feel that strongly about me.”

His eyes narrowed, glaring at you with hostility. “You’re gonna tell me how I feel?”

“I’m not what you want.”

“And what do you think I want?”

You gave him a sad smile. “The best of everything. Best car, best clothes, the most beautiful women in your arms. You want all that because you need others to want what you have.”

“Is that so wrong?”

You shook your head. “No, there’s nothing wrong with that – except I don’t fit into any of those categories. You want a woman like Dinah Madani. I’m not her. So eventually this thing between us will end.”

His jaw was set in a grim line, eyes burning bright with rage. “So you have me all figured out, huh?”

“Don’t get mad. You know it’s the truth.”

He yanked you closer, crushing you against him. “It’s been me against the world for as long as I can remember. But when I look at you.” His eyes softened, mouth parting as his dark gaze roamed over your face. “I don’t feel alone anymore.”

Your heart melted. The tenuous handle you had on your self-control disintegrated completely. You closed your mouth over his, kissing him frantically as he picked you up and straddled you across his lap.

He pulled back to look at you. “You’re my home. You’re all I need.”

Part 14

A/N - As always, all of your feedback, comments, asks, likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated. They truly inspire me to keep writing, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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