#everyone should create! it feels good!
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creampievampire · 6 months ago
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also i must chime in and recommend redrawing memes and/or screencaps from tv shows! it helps you develop an eye for composition and for anatomy and even for personal style by copying what you see from other images like that.
its also valuable honestly to copy the style of artists or media you like for practice too, though i recommend against posting that sort of practice unless you clearly state what you were doing bc some artists dont appreciate it without context (and honestly some dont appreciate it period even though its something every artist does consciously or not)
life drawing is based on all these concepts and its an infinitely valuable tool to improve your art in almost every way. in fact, if you have access to a mirror it helps a great deal to draw yourself from life if you cant draw others. i spent my entire highschool career drawing my own hand in front of me and now i find hands pretty effortless tbh. its a tried and true drawing/practice technique!
also try to remember that every drawing is worth it bc you learn from everything you do, especially the failures! ive also heard it said that when you draw smth and can see what's wrong with it (in your opinion) then that is an indication of improvement! your brain sees the issues before your hand can fix them, its part of the growth cycle! so keep at it :3
I'm just starting to draw so I don't have much imagination of what to draw, any advice? thanks :3
skateboarding, it’s fun and dynamic and easy to find cool references for
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PLEASE STOP HARASSING DECK NINE DEVS AND LIS PLAYERS WHO DON'T AGREE WITH YOU.
Death threats are not okay.
Telling people to kill themselves is not okay.
Harassing people over fictional ships is not okay.
Harassing people over their opinion of a game is not okay.
Harassing already overstressed, overworked employees is not okay. ESPECIALLY since it's been documented they've been working under discriminatory and predatory management, been through multiple crunches, and have an unidentified neo-Nazi on their team who management did not properly address and fire.
You can still be critical of a game and not harass the people who made it. Hell, you can absolutely hate a game and still be respectful to the people who made it. I'm sure the creators are far more likely to listen to the fans if we give constructive criticism than if we irresponsibly and cruelly send threats.
I know most people who see this haven't sent hate, and to those people: this post isn't about you. I massively respect you for maintaining your rationality and empathy. But for those who have sent hate or are thinking of doing so, please reconsider. Sending hate isn't going to change anything; it'll only break the fandom even further apart and stress out overworked employees. If you're going to be mad, be mad at the higher-ups at Square Enix for turning the franchise into a cash cow and at the upper management at Deck Nine for overworking and alienating their employees. (Also be mad at that 1 neo-Nazi because seriously, WTF!?)
But please, even to the worst of the worst, do not send death threats or harass people.
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puppppppppy · 8 months ago
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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bogkeep · 8 months ago
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saw some lego dinosaurs today :3
#australia adventure#i also watched the jurassic world movie for the first time AFTER going to the exhibit#it feels like it Could have been a good movie but the writing is so sexist and i spent too much time yelling EVACUATE THE GUESTS OH MY GOD#chris pratt sucks but they should've made him a horse girl for dinosaurs. that would've fixed it a bit#claire as a character is done so horribly dirty like. she's extremely competent and professional#but the entire narrative is like... portraying her as in the wrong for... being professional? for not being maternal enough?#what kind of moral is 'omggg u just need to let loose' in a movie where a SUPERMURDER DINOSAUR IS OUT OF ITS ENCLOSURE#SHE SHOULD'VE STUCK TO PROTOCOL AND EVACUATED THE PARK IMMEDIATELY!!!!!! AHHH#justice for claire jurassicworld 2024#literally every character is telling her that whatever she's doing is wrong and bad#it's excruciating to watch. anyway#indominus rex just feels like wasted potential. like it's scary for a little but it just looks like a slightly wonky t rex#should've done the thing where you barely see it and it keeps outsmarting everyone in fun and clever ways#i also personally. think they should lean into the tragedy of creating the most perfect predator but it cannot exist on this earth#i feel like there should be a sorrow and grief in having to kill a magnificent beast#like titanic or something. idk. like as a dinosaur kid im like. i like Cool Creature. in my heart im siding with cool creature#it wants enrichment. give it a meat pumpkin#would've loved to watch a defunctland style video about the theme park
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pushing500 · 1 month ago
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Well, Ivy seems to be adjusting to her new arm/flesh whip/companion well enough (she's named it Henry).
The Jones Boys were naturally a bit shocked and confused when they got back to find a pool of blood by the twisted obelisk and a writhing tendril where their kid's arm used to be, but we all have to put up with strange stuff on the rim.
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After ensuring Ivy and Alistair were okay, the Jones Boys returned to work until a transport pod fell from the sky! They begrudgingly rescued the hapless occupant, as it was a person from Wasbum, which is the faction we need to become allies with to get the first piece of the Archonexus map.
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Mechi seems to be enjoying his new private bathroom (being an Acolyte has its perks) to get some well-earned relaxation time. Surely nothing else could happen to stress him out today, right?
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Who's spreading rumours that Mechi is charming?? The man has the approachable personality of a moose with a toothache.
No, Purple, he's not marrying you. Don't be silly.
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With that nonsense taken care of, it's time to curl up in bed with Security Chief Ratchet keeping a dutiful watch so no aspiring fiancees make it past.
Goodnight, Mechi. Enjoy your beauty sleep.
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vaguely-concerned · 4 months ago
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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simgerale · 11 months ago
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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quillkiller · 5 months ago
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The reason we hate on regulily sm and not other ships is because atp people ship anything so who cares right but regulily is oppressor x oppresed. How are you going to ship a blood purist with the good girl in hp that hated blood purists. You making regulus be lily’s “short bf dyke whatever” is plain weird
listen you’re allowed to hate regulily !!! you’re not seeing me throwing a childish tantrum about it 😭😭but like. these characters are fictional… they do not exist. and like why are you, a regulily hater, on my blog enough to know the characterizations ive given them ?? like what are you genuinely even getting out of that when you could be having fun !!! in fandoms !!! and surround yourself with people who like what you like !! like fandom is supposed to be !!!! how does a whole ass stranger on tumblr.com/dashboard having fun shipping something bother you this much 😭
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redlyriumidol · 6 months ago
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tbh I do think Sera being a lesbian is an integral part of her character just as it is for Dorian. Yeah it's not her defining trait (nor should it be) and it's not directly tied into her character arc (nor should it have to be) but I think it's still a relevant aspect of her character as much as any other. I understand why people see it as more relevant for Dorian since it's an integral part of his arc, but I also believe that writing a lesbian (or gay, or bi, etc) character shouldn't necessarily entail her sexuality being a central issue in her story. It certainly can be, and it can be powerful when it is, like with Dorian-- but ultimately sexuality is a neutral trait like any other, it is important but isn't the only important thing about a person. gay characters are still worth including in media even when their sexuality isn't a central aspect to their stories.
Sera is neurotic, insightful, opinionated, brash, funny, honest, compassionate, messy, and also a lesbian. it's just who she is. I definitely get the issues with Sera's writing, trust me, though i'd point out she's hardly the only character with some issues around her writing. but also.... I kind of feel that she's a pretty earnest portrayal of a lesbian just because she's so open and natural and unapologetic about it which I personally love to see! it's just normal for her, she doesn't even think about it because it's just an obvious part of who she is. imo that also makes her an important character in terms of representation.
anyway. my point is that i love my troublesome lesbian daughter heehee. and i'm glad she exists 💛🐝
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abyssembraced · 7 months ago
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What's Your Role in a Found Family Dynamic?
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The Hermit Who Helps
At first, you were a resource for the established characters to turn to, but you quickly began to steal the show due to your personality, your usefulness, or your inherently interesting perspective on life. You were pretty much already able to provide for yourself, but the next thing you know, these people are growing on you. Instead of asking favors, it becomes an invitation to socialize. You find yourself sticking around for no apparent reason other than you like it here. The people are fun to watch, if nothing else, but ultimately they're just--oh no. Oh no, you care about them. You always thought you stayed away from this "relationship" stuff for a reason. It gets messy and isn't worth it unless it really works. For some reason, this group really works. These weirdos are now your weirdos, and if anything happens to them, there will be hell to pay. You were basically already looking after them before this, after all. Welcome to the family, hermit.
Tagged by: @distrxst (thank you!)
Tagging: @quillheel , @tazmilyxfamily (or your other blog!) , @bladesfromthedark , @pri-rp , @legalbrats (or your bug blog!) , @hopeful-hugz (or one of your other blogs!) , @musescfmusic (or one of your other blogs!) !
#.🪲#ooc#.dash game#((just. tags Everyone because i don't want anyone to feel left out agssgfhfs))#((anyway. yeah this fits!! at least for the most part))#((just in the sense of like. ghost starting out hollow when they first enter hallownest))#((but over time as they gain more void they become more conscious and truly 'alive'))#((and they come to care about the people of hallownest! they find friends. family. a home.))#((they didn't really *avoid* ''relationship stuff'' in the past. they just weren't capable of it due to basically being a walking corpse))#((but they have bonds now. and they don't give a damn about the ''purpose'' the pale beings created them for))#((but their new friends are in danger. and their newfound sister is asking them for help.))#((so they face the infection at its source and give it everything they've got to take her down once and for all))#((and when the fight is over and they should be dead? they find a way to come back. to be with their friends and family.))#((i did try it for a couple other muses as well but just. didn't feel like properly including them gfsfgd))#((this post is long enough with just ghost))#((but glados got ''the brains'' and. yeah. if she's anything she's that.))#((but also good luck getting her into a found family situation in the first place lmao))#((honestly i see bits of papyrus in a LOT of the possible results. but i don't know which one i'd say fits him best))#((comic relief was one of the results i got for him though and that certainly does fit))
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thanatika · 2 months ago
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low-coherency rambling in the tags
#the thing about IPL is that‚ at least as far as i see it‚ they've essentially been propagating and encouraging an auteur myth regarding him#which is nothing new or unique to them; i think that people (audiences) naturally want to ascribe some Great Man Theory to everything#it's hard to conceptualize the fact that almost anything that comes from a ''studio'' will be the product of collaboration#people naturally want to personify things and attach a human face to what they like#and studios (whether game or whatever else) will indulge this by generally seeming to pick one or maybe two people (often men)#to essentially be the main ''face'' or ''spokesperson'' for the product. it's branding.#and it has an effect even if people obviously are aware that someone isnt the ONLY person who's hands touch a work#i see it in the way people take this very personal parasocial tone in how they talk about the creators they like#which is just a subset of the problem of parasociality in general but in this case i mean how they basically put these people on a pedestal#because they seem them as singularly responsible for creating Thing They Liked because of the aforementioned spokesmanship#i've seen it in how people talk about (and talk to) j sawyer and chris avellone as if they're singularly responsible for fallout#anthony burch and borderlands 2. christian linke and arcane#robert kurvitz and disco elysium (but to be very clear im not saying that makes cutting him out of his own intellectual property acceptable#fucking i don't know.... jeff kaplan and overwatch lmao#and very much with dybowski and pathologic. like the kind of memes i saw people make about him and the personal way they'd refer to him#BUT that pretty much all stopped after 2021 or so at least in the fandom spaces i saw#because i suppose people realized that whether those rumors and allegations were true or not that they did not really know this person#no matter how much they liked ''his'' game. and that he might not be a good person at all.#which is good. i think people should take that kind of ambivalence by default instead of getting parasocially attached to anyone#especially to one lead figure out of an entire studio#and then winding up distraught and disappointed when it turns out their fave did something bad#like be distraught for victims sure. but don't tell yourself you understand this person because their fiction spoke to you#and you won't wind up feeling personally betrayed.#i'm rambling big time but basically i hope people start taking this view more#because among other things. putting these people on pedestals and singling them out as auteurs gives them social power#which allows some of them to engage in the awful behavior that leaves fans feeling betrayed in the first place#and i hope that studios and creators stop leaning into it too#if it really is true that dybowski is barely involved with the IP anymore then IPL should say that.#don't prop him up as the face just because he's the one everyone knows#maybe they think it'll get backlash if anyone but him is said to be writing the game because of how much they leaned into him as the auteur
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arolesbianism · 5 months ago
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Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up
#rat rambles#stars posting#like I have a vague idea of some of the like themes I imagine being present late game but it doesnt change the fact that act 5 isnt very#duo looper au friendly especially in this case with most of the ideas I have#I rly want it to be both a breaking point for them as individuals and a breaking point for their relationship but idk how to go about that#fully taking the rest of the party into account especially since Im not even sure if I wanna give odile her own friendquests#like I Could but I also think it'd be fun for many reasons to not#and even if I Did itd be hard to justify having both be able to happen and go wrong in one loop#and theres not rly a good solution to that I think so my best bet is probably to just leave odile friendquestless#but Id rly like to still have odile quarrel with the rest of the party in a significant way#idk maybe it can be the scene where sif comes back to the lighthouse or smth?#like he comes back and odile just completely lashes out at him or smth and the others get rly upset with her#but then theres also the whole walk through the house that I have to figure out and Im also not set on how that should go#maybe it can be like reality almost splitting as they both try to use timecraft at the same time?#not sure how Id go about portraying that in story though since the rest of the party cant rly experience that I think#Im sure theres some way you could pull that off tho Im just too tired to have any good ideas atm#and then the biggest bastard comes in. mal moments.#like I cant just put them both there! that's not how that works!#and I dont wanna just leave them mostly vanilla thats boringgggg#but Id probably have to. alas.#afterwards is also a bit fuzzy but I have rhe general idea down#me and the bestie when we both made the same wish but dont know that and have both been falling into a spiral over it#(we dont even realize that the part of the wish that was the exact same was the core of the wish)#(we both just thought that we accidentally trapped the other with us in this hell)#(we also have been actively getting worse at communicating for months now so by the time the wishcraft stuff came up we were both deep in#the no feelings talky talk zone)#(we probably should have known smth was up when everyone started consistently thinking that we had a fight every loop)#(maybe we did but we just didnt want to admit they were right)#god I wish I was more confident with writing odile dialogue I wanna draw scenes from this au so bad#it doesnt help that I got too comfortable being into a media that had like 3 fans and now ppl might actually look at what I create
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phantomdecibel · 2 years ago
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FUCK you: re-canonifies your Flower!AU
Anyways what if Polites actually still dies flower au au (bit o context in the tags, just so this drabble makes a bit more sense since it doesnt exactly follow canon aha-)
Rattlesnake Root
shield, step carefully.
Watching Ajax rush across the deck, calling out orders while cradling little Astyanax in his arms, the realization hit Odysseus like a brick.
This is what Polites had meant.
Eurylochus’s voice still echoed in his ears — but Odysseus wasn’t hearing any of it. Everything sounded muffled, like he was listening to (one of) his best friend chew him out from underwater. He must have started yelling louder, because the teenager glanced over at the two of them, something Odysseus hesitated to label as anything other than concern written across his face.
He wanted to yell.
He wanted to scream, keep shooting venom like arrows, jump up and pace, even.
Instead he stood, hands clasped over the rail, staring blankly past the blurred shape of his friend. It was both too loud and yet too quiet and annoyingly chilly and somehow everything was way too bright. It felt like there should be a storm brewing overhead, yet the only rain falling came from his eyes. The sun shone down unapologetically overhead, and Odysseus fought back an unintelligible scream.
This is what Polites had meant, what he’d pleaded back in that forest.
If you don’t talk to us, if you don’t trust us, then how can we help?
He’d thought he’d had it all under control, that his own hangups weren’t affecting anyone else, but clearly he’d been wrong. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or just plain ignorance, but Odysseus had fucked up, pushed too far.
He wanted to sob.
He was already crying, Odysseus realized in a vague, sort of detached way. His face felt… damp, and tight from the salt already starting to dry. Something hit his hand; again and again and again, and rolled down his knuckles.
Eurylochus yelled again, throwing his arms out, and Odysseus flinched.
How long had this been brewing?
How long had he been pushing his crew, his friends to the edge? For how long had he been pushing them to the side, ignoring their concerns and needs, forcing them to pick up his slack?
…when had his efforts to protect them start to hurt instead?
Slowly, Eurylochus’s face came back into focus.
His mouth moved and Odysseus could, technically, hear him still, but the words themselves were lost to the buzzing in his head. The tilt to his eyebrows would have looked angry — really, really angry — to anyone else, but Odysseus knew his friend. Eurylochus was angry, sure, but mostly he was just worried (and tired, so tired, and grieving, too). The man’s eyes glistened wetly, shining with unshed tears.
Odysseus barely noticed as he started to shake.
He did this. This was his fault, the result of his negligence. Polites was dead because of him, and now he was driving away the other person he should be supporting, looking after the most.
Odysseus clenched the rail tighter, clearly hearing it creak under his grip. Eurylochus’s voice faded in and out, nothing but background noise.
He’d failed.
Odysseus blinked once, twice, trying to alleviate the pressure growing behind his eyes. The tears, which had been slowing, built again, suddenly, and everything was just too much.
Oh. He dimly realized again. I did this.
And Odysseus…
…Odysseus broke.
Odysseus broke, tears falling like a waterfall. He choked on a sob, shaking violently, as his knees wobbled and knocked together. Eurylochus’s voice, angry and harsh, snapped back into focus, and Odysseus keened weakly.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, falling to his knees as he swallowed back another sob. “I’m sorry-“
Desperately, shaking all the while, Odysseus clutched at his friend’s chiton, head pressed to Eurylochus’s knee. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-“
Eurylochus’s angry rant trailed off into shocked silence as Odysseus tripped over his words. Apology after apology spilled from his lips as he sat shaking on the wooden deck of the ship, legs collapsed awkwardly beneath him. He didn’t dare look up as silence crashed against the ship like Polyphemus’s club crashing against men and stone, just kept choking out desperate apologies into the empty, oppressive air.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sobbed, like a mantra. “I’m sorry,”
The moment seemed to stretch for an eternity; a terrifying, heart-stopping eternity.
He couldn’t do this.
Odysseus- he couldn’t. He’d tried, fuck he’d tried. Tried to carry every burden he could, tried to protect his people, and look where they were now.
It was all a mess, a fucking disaster.
And- and Polites was gone, now, really truly gone, never-coming-back gone.
Dead.
And Eurylochus would be too- not dead, not if Odysseus had any say in it, but gone, leaving.
Leaving him, because Eurylochus would do what was best for the crew.
Odysseus was just dead weight.
The leg he leaned against, clutched in desperation, was pulled back, and Odysseus let it go.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, trying and failing to blink away his tears as his hands dropped down to dig his nails into his own knees instead. Something thudded against the ground ahead of him, but all Odysseus could think was ‘this is it’.
This is it, this is where his friend, his last surviving best friend, his brother, even, left him.
And by the gods if he didn’t deserve it.
“‘msorry,” his words slurred together. “‘msrry’msorry,”
He deserved this, for hurting his friend and daring to proclaim otherwise. Why should Eurylochus stick around? Odysseus wasn’t worth the work. He hunched in on himself some more.
“‘msorry,” he might have begged. Please don’t go. You have every right to, but please, please. Don’t leave me. “‘msrrymsrrymsor-“
Odysseus coughed.
Oh, that was odd.
He couldn’t breathe, for a moment there, air knocked from his lungs as his chest collided with something warm and solid. Something strong tugged his forwards, pulled him tight against it.
Warm arms wrapped around his shoulders, and Odysseus suddenly found his head tucked into the crook of Eurylochus’s neck as he shook. He tried to choke out another apology, but Eurylochus held him too tightly to properly speak the words.
Oh.
Oh.
Odysseus shook some more, hands slowly worming their way from his knees to clutch this time at the front of his friend’s chiton.
Eurylochus was hugging him.
Eurylochus. was hugging him.
Odysseus sobbed again.
“I’m sorry,” he managed to force out again, but Eurylochus just pulled him impossibly closer.
“It’s okay,” his friend whispered, voice hoarse. “It’s going to be okay.”
mans is a bit harsh on himself :,)
He doesn’t q u i t e get the point, but he’s getting there-
Anyways so flower au; asty lives and also @hahahaghosty and I are soft for lil ajax :P
I know I always say this, but they were a huge inspiration for this (bc they fuel me w like 75% of my writing ideas lmao-), so thank you a whole lot!! wouldn’t be possible without ya :) they're really fucking awesome, go check out their stuff!! do it- Do It Now-
anyways that all from me for now, thanks for reading :P
(me: check out the tags for some context :) also me: throws way to much shit in them-
just. just read the beginning and end and itll all make sense if u wanna)
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snekdood · 3 months ago
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i wanna know where ppl got this idea that im like infinitely praised or something so i need to be constantly humbled bc like... im kinda the only one out here supporting and validating me and I have been like my whole life so......
#who is this for#can you just say you wanna abuse me and go#vent#yeah im overly confident and i have a persona whos full of himself. kinda gotta be when you're the only one giving yourself confidence#in the first place.#all ik is if i was infinitely praised i would have never started cutting myself.#im quite literally the only one keeping myself alive emotionally and mentally. im like howls house at the end of howls moving castle#when its slowly falling apart and just BARELY making it by#the fact you're able to mistake my confidence as some sort of cultivated thing by people in my life should tell you how this has#been going on since i was a child and ive needed to build my own confidence. ive had to become my own parent.#it seems cultivated because *i* cultivated it.#otherwise i wouldve just let everything everyone said about me make me kill myself even if theyre literally just being judgemental assholes#when you have no one who counters that in your life you gotta be that for yourself.#i promise- most likely whatever you've come up with to try to humble me with ive already 'humbled' myself plenty over.#unless. of course. its some bullshit you believe from someone who abused me and has to create a narrative of their ultimate victimhood#so you think im some sort of mastermind manipulator abuser or something. then no ofc i havent humbled myself over that#bc theres nothing to be humbled over. ill get back to you when i actually do that shit.#theres already plenty to criticize we dont gotta make shit up to hate me over you losers.#if you feel like its not good enough justification to hate me as much as you do w/o believing lies then maybe you need to learn#how to not invest that much energy into hating other people that you need to literally believe bullshit to justify it
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catastrxblues · 1 year ago
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hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters
#bridge to terabithia#how am i supposed to recover#i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess#i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean#i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now#i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts#and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t#because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me#and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing#so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah#my eyes feel so weird right now#also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case)#i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum#and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!!#and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!!#i like my ending better they really should change it#but no all and all the end was really beautiful#even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said#yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3#i’m not sure what this is#but glad i could get it off my chest#let’s see how to tag how to tag#movies#just#childhood#whatever <3#nadirants
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nhaneh · 10 months ago
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funny thing is I don't really have any interest in hoarding knowledge or resources for myself in any way, I'm just bad at publishing stuff because I feel like that'd require a bit more stringent quality control than what I might expect of something made largely for my own use.
sometimes I think maybe I should set up something like a google drive or a git or something to just throw my personal- and work-in-progress stuff for people who are interested, but I dunno what limits for space or bandwidth or anything are like.
like I'm sure some people would possibly find the ColorSet unpacker python script useful?? It kinda sucks through and I want to make a better version of it and maybe one that could work as a standalone executable instead? and possibly a packer counterpart to the unpacker?? But also I keep thinking like "would this even be useful to anyone lmao??"
in theory you could probably make some kind of art program plugin that does all of this for you - even the bit with loading actual colorset information into layered colorset pairs, but I mean that's a lot of effort and I still largely use a 20+ year old version of Paint Shop Pro myself so...
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