#everyone needs to get over the word FUCKING already
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
「 ON DISPLAY 」 noah sebastian ⨯ f!reader
▷ chapter two
noah is your neighbor and your new favorite view thanks to his lack of curtains. you're pretty sure he prefers it this way. but the man you've created in your imagination is nothing like reality and you soon find yourself falling prey to a past lifestyle you had been desperately on the run from. trigger warnings : language, eventual smut, violence, mention/flashbacks of abuse, alcohol and drug use, sexual harassment/assault (nongraphic). word count : 7.1k a / n : we're really setting the scene and the vibes with this one. more noah time will come in the next chapter, both in person and through the infamous window. do not fret.
masterlist
FLASHBACK - READER
“Why are you looking at her? Huh? You look at me.”
The guttural tone of Vane’s voice that only reared its ugly head when he was angry made your skin crawl. It didn't matter that you were tucked away in his SUV because the response it coaxed from your body was nothing short of fearful. You had been on the receiving end of it many times before but not this time. No, this time it was one of his business friends, colleagues, whatever they were to be called. The man in question had been eying you from the open trunk of his own vehicle while showing the new merchandise to Vane. He obviously hadn’t been very subtle about it. This didn't stop your heart from racing nor did it prevent your palms from clamming up. You were still very much aware of what sort of hell Vane would rain down when pushed.
“Why did you bring her along, Vane?” The man spoke through clenched teeth as if you were a threat. Between everyone currently present at this business exchange, you were the last one to worry about. You had no weapons. No phone. No way of tattling on any of these unsavory men even if you wanted to. Who would you tell anyway? The only person who had the means to protect you was your father and he was already in the know of your whereabouts. He and Vane had probably discussed it over a nice glass of bourbon earlier in the day.
“Don't fucking question what I do. You got a problem? Just say so and we can handle it right here.”
You heavily sighed at Vane’s overly dramatic show of dominance while leaning further back in the passenger seat. He was such a joke when he put in hours - always so over the top and a show off - and the one time you confessed this to him had landed you on the floor with a busted lip. Vodka made you mouthy and gave you a hefty set of balls apparently. That wasn't a mistake you made again.
Vane may have been a son of a bitch but he was willing to act, typically before thinking. He didn't hesitate to reach for the gun tucked in the back of his pants, though he didn't pull it out. The shift of his arm was enough to set the man straight and return the conversation to what was important: Vane’s merchandise.
“Pack this shit up,” he commanded after a few beats, his annoyance towards the man evident. The seller stammered over his words but Vane was quick to cut him off. “Stop your goddamn blabbering, Diego. I'm taking it but that look you stole of my girl is gonna cost you two grand off the price.”
And there it was. The real reason why he dragged you along to these deals. Honestly, Vane wasn't very smart most of the time but he knew who he could shove around and who he needed to back down from. Diego was not the latter. Shit, you probably could've gone out there and gotten him to knock even more off the price just by flashing him a smile. You had no desire to get in the middle of Vane’s dealings, though, and he was also far too possessive to allow anyone beneath him to live if he caught them staring your way. He was a menace in a knock off suit.
“Load it all up.” Vane further demanded while he was tossing his cigarette out and stomping his way back to the SUV you occupied. You forced a smile onto your face because you knew better than to let him see your true feelings towards all of this. Drugs. Weapons. All of it was a one way ticket to jail or possibly even the grave. Neither outcome was one you had any interest in living out. He made you an accomplice simply by having you witness the deals. Just another way to keep you under his thumb.
As he slammed the car door, he immediately reached across the center console to roughly grab the back of your neck. Although the dig of his fingers was painful, you kept your expression neutral. His mouth was soon on yours, one hand squeezing your nape as the other firmly grasped your chin to keep you in his hold. Vane tasted like smoke and shitty beer – both of which you hated. Unfortunately, that didn't stop you from kissing him back. Not like you had any other choice. You really put on the performance of your life when you were with him.
“I've got a good thing going here for you, baby,” he muttered against your swollen lips. “Don't fuck it up by getting that annoying self righteous look in your eyes.”
Okay, maybe you weren't ready for your Oscar win just yet.
PRESENT - NOAH
There was the lingering threat of cutting himself every time he fidgeted with his knife, the swift back and forth motion of opening and closing the blade making those around him nervous. That's what he enjoyed about it though – keeping people on edge. Noah couldn't even remember the last time he accidentally drew his own blood and the pain would be fleeting even if he did happen to nick himself.
That wasn't stopping Jolly from shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It took a lot to make the boss squirm, but Noah sure was a pro at it. He attributed this to his years of practice in the field.
“Everything is on time?” Jolly cleared his throat, his eyes shifting back and forth between the glint of the freshly sharpened blade and Noah’s relaxed face.
“Aye, sir,” Noah mocked just as the knife clicked shut for a final time. “Truck hit the last checkpoint around midnight, so the shipment should be arriving within the hour.”
No one knew that Jolly had recently taken over for his father. The older Karlsson made a point for the shift of power to be kept hush with only the inner circle being made aware. Everyone knew that a transitioning empire would have a moment of turmoil before everything went calm again, but they weren't currently in an area of peace where their empire in particular could handle the shakeup. If it wasn't for Jolly’s father being a little worse for wear, then they would've still had at least a decade to prepare for this. It was a good thing that Noah could remain calm amongst chaos.
Jolly released a sound of irritation while shuffling the mouse of his computer to wake the screen. “Don't fucking call me ‘sir’,” he grumbled. His face was then illuminated in a wash of blue from the multiple feeds of their security cameras before a few additional clicks threw the images to the large television screen mounted on the wall. They both watched in a momentary silence, Jolly’s eyes shifting between each feed while Noah focused in on one specifically.
You were balancing a tray of drinks, hips swaying in a natural motion before bending at the knees to pass a table of business men their order. Noah could tell that you were trying your best to smile but he had been watching you enough to know when it was genuine versus forced. He felt a pull to swoop down and rescue you from the hustle and bustle of the long Nocturnal nights but he had a job to do and being your knight in shining armor was not one of them.
“Are the girls getting along better?”
“In the Garden or in main?”
“You know they're too preoccupied in the Garden to give a shit about petty drama.”
Noah did know this because there was rarely an issue with the dancers. The servers on the other hand…they were as catty as could be. He shrugged, his tattooed hands intertwining to tuck behind his head. “It's improving by the day.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Another click of the mouse and the squares of different security footage became only one – the feed that was directed at you. There was no audio but Noah didn't need sound to know that you were having a heated exchange with another waitress that he knew as Charlotte. Your jaw was clenched, grip tight on the edges of your serving tray that the bartender was currently filling with an order. Noah had to give you props for fulfilling your duties in a timely manner once the final drink was passed along with the bleach blonde still shrieking.
Nevertheless, whatever the argument was about, it needed to end. Nocturnal was not going to become one of those clubs, not on his watch. He had helped build this place to what it was today and he would rather die than see its crumbled remains.
Before Noah could get a word out, the scene that unfurled next played out in slow motion. You were unloading your tray when Charlotte walked by, her hip pointedly jutting into your backside to send not only your tray, but also the remaining drinks crashing down to the table. You fumbled from the impact in an attempt to right yourself but it was too late. You didn't stand a chance against the sneak attack.
“Goddammit.” Noah groaned, Jolly exhaling one of his own in tandem.
“Go fucking handle it! Bring them both up!” He hollered.
Noah wanted to argue that this immature nonsense was way beneath his pay grade but he wasn't going to pass up the chance of seeing you up close again. He was still trying to get the color of your eyes just right in his memory.
READER
Everything was soaked in a mixture of different alcohols. You, the table, the highly irritated men now hurling a combination of insults and complaints at you. You were frantically trying to clean things up by reaching for toppled over glasses and promising a drink on the house – if you could even do that – but nothing was helping with lessening their anger.
“Fucking amateur.”
“Can't even serve a drink.”
“Shitty fucking help.”
There was a part of you that was plopped right back down to a year ago when everything you did was heavily critiqued by your ex boyfriend. He always had something to say about the way you held yourself, the foods you liked, your choice of makeup style. Nothing was ever to his standards unless he was the one to choose it. You fucking hated feeling like that helpless girl again, and by a group of strangers no less.
“I'm so sorry, gentlemen!” you repeated again and again. “I must've slipped.”
You hadn't slipped. You had felt the way Charlotte shoved into you and if you didn't need this job then you would've been whacking her across the head with your now empty tray right this very second. The men continued to rant and you continued to ignore them for all of your sakes.
Squatting down in the most ladylike way you could, you carried on with cleaning the area. Your hands were shaking, your nerves beginning to get the best of you. Anxiety had only recently become a problem for you and being the center of attention in this regard worsened the effects. You kept telling yourself to suck it up, that these guys weren't Vane, but your brain refused to follow through with the order. There was never a moment that you weren't expecting to look up and see his face staring back at you.
A hand lightly touching your shoulder caused you to jump and nearly fall over to the now sticky floor. Thankfully you caught yourself at the last second. Your head whipped around, breath catching, just to see hot neighbor towering over you. Fuck. Your fight or flight had just almost kicked in. That really would've been embarrassing.
“Boss would like a word.” He retracted his hand when he noticed the bewildered look in your eyes, a curious yet concerned gleam flashing within his own at the sight.
“But, I - uh…I'm cleaning up –”
“It'll be taken care of. Head for the back stairs and Shauna will show you to his office.”
Slowly you stood back to your full height, nodding at his instructions. Your hands smoothed down over your skirt to straighten it out, followed by a slight tug at the hem as if that would help further cover the view of your legs from the angry men now narrowed in on you.
“She looked better on her knees,” one of the men murmured to his pal at his side, both of them erupting into laughter. It was like you were up in VIP again with Marcus taunting you. Why were all men such assholes?
You bit your tongue to prevent yourself from saying something you may regret. Choosing between your livelihood and your pride was difficult but you knew you would be no good to anyone, not even yourself, if you landed back on hard times. Taking in a deep breath, your eyes cut over to hot neighbor who now appeared to be rather…angry? The lights of Nocturnal encompassed him in red, but something told you that his skin would still be the same shade even under horrid fluorescent bulbs.
“Now.” He demanded in a deep voice, his head nodding in the direction you were meant to go. The tone he used was frightening, this being more than enough to light the fire beneath your ass that had you quickly scampering across the club to the opposite side where the stairs sat. Just as he had said, Shauna was waiting at the base to guide you up.
“What did you do to get King all in a tizzy?” Shauna laughed during your journey up the narrow staircase that would've been otherwise hidden had your new tour guide not been waiting.
“I didn't do anything,” you shrugged. “Who is he, by the way? King?”
A glance was taken back at you, the same amused expression you were used to seeing whenever you asked a question present across Shauna’s darkly painted lips. “He's the head of security…technically.”
“Technically?”
“He wears a lot of hats around here,” she sighed. “Security, second in command, amongst many other things, and now apparently a waitress wrangler.”
The small jab made at your expense wasn't lost on you, but it was just one more thing you preferred to stay silent on. You were already stirring the pot a bit too much to have only been employed at Nocturnal for a week and you didn't need to further add to it. This must've been a new record since Shauna had mentioned in passing once that the turn over rate wasn't high. The workers loved it here, yet of course you were the only one having issues.
Shauna’s pace slowed the further she led you down a dimly lit hallway. You had come to the conclusion that they didn't like light around here. Abruptly stopping in front of a door at the very end of the hallway, she turned to look at you, her eyes immediately sinking into yours. It appeared as if there was something she wanted to say by the way her lips faintly twitched, but she decidedly covered it with another smile.
An arm extended off to the side to plant three firm knocks on the door, the sound of the lock electronically unlatching following seconds later. “Don't ask too many questions,” Shauna lowly added before she was sidestepping you and strutting back down the endless hallway, but only after she had twisted the doorknob and pushed the thick barrier open a couple of inches.
X X X
You felt small standing in front of the boss. He was finely dressed in a black suit, a cross earring dangling from his ear, and his long hair secured back into a bun that sat low on his neck, while you were…well, you currently resembled a wet dog after having an entire tray of drinks find their way onto you.
His face was emotionless as he stared at you, silently sizing you up, but you refused to be intimidated. So, you held his gaze despite the way your trembling fingers were anxiously fidgeting with each other. He must've noticed because he only chuckled and shook his head before releasing a deep breath you hadn't realized he had been holding.
Well, fuck. Had that been some sort of test?
“Genevieve…” he slowly spoke, sounding out each syllable to himself.
“That's not my name. I mean, not really, that's just what I chose to go –”
A hand was lifted to motion for you to stop and his head turned in a single shake. “I know that's not your real name. Everyone here has a chosen alias. Some for fun and others for safety precautions. Doesn't matter to me what you choose to call yourself.”
There was an accent attached to his words, though it was one you couldn't quite place.
“What does matter to me is how you choose to conduct yourself in my club. And what I saw tonight doesn't reflect too well on my business.”
There wasn't yet a chance for you to defend yourself and tell your side of the story because the door opened and your conversation was immediately overtaken by Charlotte’s nails-on-a-chalkboard voice. You didn't miss the way the boss let a cringe briefly overtake his otherwise stoic demeanor.
“I didn't even do anything! She was standing too far out and I accidentally ran into her! It's not my fault she likes to stick her ass out like some feral cat in heat!”
King was right behind her, the same annoyed expression plastered across his own face. He didn't say a word as he crossed the office to take his place beside where the boss sat at his desk, leaving both you and Charlotte standing on trial before them.
Your arms crossed over your chest to hug yourself, a chill setting in from all the different beverages soaking into your clothes. Maybe if you let Charlotte keep talking then she would dig her own grave deeper and deeper until there was no way for her to get out. She was already doing a pretty bang up job of it. At least that meant you could get out of there faster.
Charlotte stepped up beside you with her hands on her hips, one leg extended out a bit further. As if on instinct you shifted a bit to your left, purposely placing a little more space between you and the loud blonde. When you looked up, hot neighbor was watching you, the same curious gleam in his eyes as it had been moments prior. It seemed as if he was always watching you, even when you weren't fully aware of it. You would never forget the way it felt to have his eyes raking across your skin whether it be from a security camera, in person, or from your open window.
“What happened?” Boss asked, his fingertips lightly planting against the top of his desk. Charlotte immediately raced to recite a scenario you were sure wouldn't be the actual truth, but she was stopped within the first word by the boss holding his hand up to her. “Genevieve.”
You looked back and forth between the two men watching you. You were expecting to feel uncomfortable beneath their gazes but the only thing bringing you discomfort in that moment was your wet bra. Maybe your naive brain wasn’t scared of them, your intuition telling you that they were not your enemy, or maybe you just hadn't yet clocked them as a source of fear.
“I was serving my table and she purposely ran into me which caused me to drop my entire tray.” Simple. What more was there to be said on the matter?
“What prompted the argument you two were seen having beforehand?”
You could sense Charlotte tensing beside you, the toe of her shoe beginning to lightly tap against the floor in quick succession. She knew this was where she was going to go down for what happened because she couldn't explain it away as an “accident”. That is, if they believed you. Charlotte was a seasoned veteran at Nocturnal, whereas you had only just started. They were already more likely to take her side based on that alone.
“She…um…she was accusing me of flirting with someone she was interested in.” Your eyes did a quick glance to King since he was the someone in question. “I wasn't, of course, because I've only had one conversation with the guy and she just…assumed.”
Charlotte witnessed the little run in you had with hot neighbor on your first shift after he had escorted you down from VIP. She found joy in riling you up about it ever since during every one of your shifts, and typically you ignored her, but tonight you had been fed up and finally started trying to defend yourself head on. People, Charlotte specifically, thought you were weak merely because you were quiet. You wanted them to know that it was best not to underestimate you. You just knew how to pick your battles.
“You made her drop her drinks because of a guy?” The boss was now looking at Charlotte. His tone read as calm but you could tell by the widening of his eyes and the way his hand flattened on the desk that he was growing more and more irritated by the second. “This isn't high school, Charlotte, so why are you acting like an immature child?”
Charlotte opened her mouth to speak but King’s heavy sigh of boredom put a halt to her attempt. “We don't have time for this,” he exclaimed after taking a glance at his watch. Boss looked his way and hot neighbor raised his brows, both of them partaking in some sort of private silent conversation that you weren't privy to.
“Your tips are paying for those lost drinks.” The boss concluded after a few beats. “As well as their replacement ones.”
“What?! Nothing happens to her?!” Charlotte scoffed, her voice again piercing your ears and making you lean back a bit.
“It's not up for debate! Now out! Get back to work!”
You were quick to head for the door behind Charlotte, who was grumbling angrily to herself, despite having an eerie feeling that the blonde was going to make the rest of your shift a living hell. Maybe even all of your shifts for the foreseeable future. You had one foot out the door when a hand secured around your bicep, firmly stopping your motions forward. “Not you,” his low voice sounded in your ear, a chill immediately radiating down your spine.
King was gentle as he pulled you back a step and used his free hand to close the door. He was so close that you could feel his breath fanning your hair and making it tickle your neck. The slightest tilt backwards and you knew his chest would connect with your back, and honestly, you were very tempted to do just that. You had been imagining the way his body would feel against yours for over a month at this point, never once thinking it would actually come to fruition, but now here you were. The only reason why you resisted was because you weren't alone in the room and you didn't need your boss witnessing you becoming a complete puddle for his right hand man.
“Jolly just wants a few more minutes of your time.”
X X X
King. Jolly. You felt like you were in some dark fucked up version of Candyland with those names, but instead of the Lollipop Woods and princesses, it was nothing but tattooed men and their load of secrets. Not nearly as tasty as the candy would've been. Well, at least not until you'd become knowledgeable of these secrets.
You strolled into your apartment a little after 2am, your new boss - Jolly - allowing you to leave early since the entirety of the last bit of your visit with him had consisted of you sitting in front of his desk and shivering. King passed you a Nocturnal t-shirt at some point in an attempt to help warm you but it didn't do nearly as much as either of you were hoping. You swore you saw him briefly contemplating giving you the jacket he wore, though he did a quick glance at Jolly before ultimately deciding against it. You couldn't say you blamed him.
The quiet of your apartment was welcoming, this finally giving you a chance to hear your own thoughts and actually process the night. Jolly merely wanted to chat with you, your new hire file laid out in front of him, since he hadn't been given the chance to formally introduce himself as he usually would when new employees began. He explained that his father had been the original owner of Nocturnal but he now did the majority of all the work that went along with the club since his dad had his hand in other things. You politely smiled and nodded, unsure as to why he was choosing to tell you this. All in all, he was nice. There was a kindness to him that wasn’t overtly obvious but you could sense it.
Hot neighbor only spoke up a few times, instead opting to remain seated back in the dark corner with his feet propped up versus at Jolly’s side. This probably meant that you weren't deemed as a threat. He held the same knife from VIP the entire time, and you knew this because the blade would occasionally catch the light and shine on you. Each time it would and you'd glance his way, he would greet you with a barely-there sideways smirk. Fifteen minutes later, he was looking at his phone and then springing to his feet with a reminder to Jolly that they had a shipment to receive. And that was that. End of meeting.
It was all so normal, the interaction, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. What? You had no idea.
After your entirely too long and too hot shower, you took solace in front of your open window. His was open as well, as it always was, but there were no signs of movement. This wasn't unusual since you knew he had business to tend to when you left, though you were still curious as to how late he was usually at the club. Was that where he always was when he wasn't home? That's what you were going to tell yourself was true.
You remained awake for an hour longer, occasionally glancing at his window, but everything remained still.
X X X
“Come out with us! Pleaseeeee! Please please!” Mel begged via FaceTime, a dramatic pout pulling at her lips. You could see the usual crowd behind her as she walked down the street, the group headed towards their normal haunt for a few drinks before eventually finding a club. It was the same weekend routine every time. Normally you would attend but you weren't feeling it that night. It was your first day off, as well as night, in awhile, so you were going to take some much needed alone time.
Your nose scrunched and you shook your head at the phone camera. “I'm really just not feeling up to it,” you explained in a playful whiny voice of your own. “The club has been kicking my ass and I have to be at Red’s bright and early tomorrow.”
“Ugh! Just tell me you're actually having a steamy affair with hot neighbor! Tell me you're going to his place to let him absolutely ravish you!”
“Yeah, that's totally what's happening,” you joked. “He's getting the whips and ropes ready for me right now.”
This was even funnier to you because you hadn't yet revealed to Mel that you worked with hot neighbor now. There was no real reason for keeping it from her. Just that it tended to slip your mind when the two of you were around each other.
“That sounds so sexy! The fuck!” Your best friend squealed, the loud noise causing you to pull the phone back a bit.
“Okay, you go enjoy yourself! I promise I'll come next time.”
“Fineee! Love you!”
The FaceTime call ended with Melinda then laughing at something someone around her said before it all went dark. You sighed softly to yourself, your gaze remaining on the blank screen for a long moment. You were tempted to say ‘fuck it’ and go out but the exhaustion was really starting to hit. You would be no fun.
As the silence set in, that's when you found yourself wondering about King. All day you had managed to avoid looking at his window because you weren't going to let this random guy be a defining moment in your life. Plus, he was your boss. Kind of. Second in command definitely made him your boss in a way, right? But now that the sun was setting and your loneliness was creeping in, you couldn't stop yourself from glancing over.
A big part of you was hoping he wouldn't be there. After all, it was the weekend. Okay, it was Sunday, but you knew that was still a busy day for clubs when it came to the city. Nevertheless, you couldn't get involved with him. It wasn't smart for so many reasons and you were really working on trying to be smarter these days. Why did that have to be so hard?
Taking in a breath, your eyes danced along the other windows of different apartments before ultimately landing on his. No curtains still - go figure - but the space wasn't empty as it had been the night before. There he sat, drink in hand, his focus on the large screen television mounted on his wall. You could barely make out the images but you did know it was some sort of cartoon. Your chin propped comfortably in your hand the further you sat up until you were on your knees leaning over the back. Very similar to how you were positioned the first time you saw him.
The only difference was that now you didn't care if you got caught watching him.
When he didn't look your way within the first few seconds, you shifted your focus to the darkening sky. Deep pinks and oranges swirled around, fading into the blue that would soon fully overtake the sky. You couldn't see too much because of the position of the apartment building, but it would have to do for now. You could remember staring at the sky for hours on end in your previous life. It was all you could do when Vane was working and you had no choice but to tag along. You weren't allowed to have a phone to keep you entertained back then. Not even just to play Candy Crush or some nonsense like that. Look at you now, still staring at the same sky, thinking the same wonder-filled thoughts. Old habits truly did die hard.
It was the slight motion in the corner of your eye that brought you back down to the present. King was looking at you, his hand waving to help draw your attention. When he noticed you looking he offered a friendly smile, one you returned without hesitation. The fact that he seemed much nicer outside of the club confused you, but you were going to continue to believe that he was wearing a mask at Nocturnal. You at least hoped that was the mask and this version of him wasn't. Not that you cared…since you were being smarter and all that…
King raised his hand to his head, his fingers shifting so that his thumb was at his ear and his pinky at his mouth. The universal symbol for ‘phone’. Was he asking for your number? Your brows furrowed slightly, your thoughts running rampant. This was not something you had seen coming. At least he was asking instead of simply taking it from your file, though.
Nodding, you brushed your hair away from your shoulder to ready yourself for the task of using your hands to communicate your phone number. You slowly tossed up each number, hot neighbor looking from you to his phone every time until he had all the information he needed. Seconds later, your phone vibrated, a message from an unknown number popping up. You immediately saved it under ‘hot neighbor', naturally.
HOT NEIGHBOR: Hello, neighbor.
You arched an eyebrow at the simple greeting, your eyes briefly glancing back up to where he still stood across the walkway. He was looking at you, phone in hand, patiently waiting for your response.
YOU: Caught you staring.
HOT NEIGHBOR: I decided to take a play from your book.
HOT NEIGHBOR: Seems like it worked.
You couldn't fight the smile that spread across your lips. Your teeth sunk down into the lower tier while you simultaneously shifted so you were sitting down on your couch again. Your back to the window to keep the view of your face hidden. The last thing you needed was hot neighbor seeing you smile as you made the mistake of getting closer to him.
YOU: Are you watching cartoons?
HOT NEIGHBOR: I'm an adult, Genevieve. It's anime.
The use of your work name made your lips twist in distaste. You were already pretending to be a different person in your day to day life. You didn't need to mix things up even more with the addition of your Nocturnal alias. Something about it just didn't sit right with you.
YOU: You can call me by my actual name when we're not at work.
Funny, since even that also wasn't your actual name.
HOT NEIGHBOR: I guess that means I should extend the same courtesy to you.
YOU: Is King not your name?
HOT NEIGHBOR: It's a nickname from when Jolly and I were younger.
The gray typing bubbles continued to pop up and disappear, as if he was unsure of what to say. You watched them do the same dance a few times, your curiosity rising by the second. What could he possibly be typing?
HOT NEIGHBOR: My name is Noah.
X X X
Three hours. That's how long you spent texting with Noah the previous night and you were definitely feeling it. Two Red Bulls, a cup of black coffee, and a couple of pieces of some weird energy gum Mel had told you about wasn't even enough to keep you from yawning every few minutes. Yes, you were exhausted, but you didn't regret a minute of it. Maybe you would one day when you were forced to remember why getting close to people was a bad idea, but you were going to live in ignorant bliss until then.
“I told you not to run yourself into the ground.” Red wagged his finger at you like a stereotypical grandfather would. “It was going to come back and bite you in the ass.”
You laughed, shaking your head at him. You continued to go through the motions of folding his linens as he hobbled into the room with the help of his solid wooden cane. Red was a kind man, at least from what you could tell. He enjoyed reciting stories to you from his heyday and introducing you to new foods that his personal chef would whip up. You disliked a lot of them because of how picky you were but Red got a kick out of listening to your outlandish comparisons.
“I know, I know,” you heavily sighed. “I was off from the club yesterday, but I still stayed up too late.”
Red released a breath as he lowered himself down into his favorite sitting chair. His eyes remained on you, a knowing smile occupying his lived-in face. “You're too young to get caught up in the headache of boys. Or girls. Or whoever you're interested in. You need to live a little first.”
You both laughed as you set the neatly folded sheets aside and began working on the basket of towels. If only Red knew that you had ‘lived’ enough for multiple lifetimes. None of which you had any desire to relive. So why were you going down the same path with Noah? Of course you didn't want to believe that's what was happening because it felt so good in the beginning stages like this, but you knew better than anyone how it could abruptly turn and crash. You had the scars to prove it.
“I'm not getting caught up. I promise. I'm just…making friends.”
“Friends,” Red snorted. “That's how I ended up with five kids, by making friends.”
“Red!” You lightly smacked his arm with the towel in your grasp, your lighthearted laughter continuing. It felt good to be able to have a relaxing conversation like this, even if it was with an older man pushing eighty. In your opinion this only meant he was better at giving advice than anyone else in your life.
Still grinning, he reached for the remote on the side table by his chair and turned the TV on. Before you knew it, a CSI rerun was on and Red was leaned back, lightly snoring.
X X X
HOT NEIGHBOR: What are you doing?
You used one hand to retrieve your phone from your back pocket as the other placed a small pile of washcloths in the hall linen closet. Your heart began to race when you saw who the message was from, cheeks instantly reddening. Well…fuck. That wasn't a good sign for your mental well being.
YOU: Folding an old man’s laundry at my day job. Yes, it's just as exciting as it sounds.
HOT NEIGHBOR: Drop a pin and I'll bring you coffee.
You had to give it to him, he surely was straight to the point. You did as he said because what harm could come from a quick coffee visit? Plus, you desperately needed more caffeine. You would take an IV of it straight into the vein if it was offered to you.
Half an hour later you received a message from Noah saying that he was outside. You took a glance at Red’s still sleeping form as you tip toed out of the house, carefully maneuvering your way down the narrow stone path that led to a small black wrought iron gate. It was only waist high, but it was a nice little touch in front of his city mansion. Typically flowers would be lining the path as well, but the frigid air kept them at bay for now.
Arms crossed over your chest, your eyes zeroed in on Noah who was standing on the sidewalk. He was once again wearing his usual black on black attire, black gloves, and a black coat to finish off the look. How was he so effortlessly attractive? You could assume he was heading for the club based on his outfit alone. Not only that, but he appeared perplexed. His brows were furrowed, his eyes constantly looking up and down the sidewalk like he was on the search for someone.
“Hey,” you breathed out into the cold as you stepped closer after latching the small gate behind you. Noah extended the second coffee to you which you graciously took and immediately sipped from. You didn't even want to know how he knew your coffee order. Sure, it was simple, but how did he get it so perfect?
“This is where you work?” He motioned to the large brick building behind you. You glanced back at the house along with him, nodding.
“Yeah, it's pretty easy. I'm basically a glorified errand runner slash housekeeper.”
Noah slowly nodded, though his puzzled look refused to break. You weren't at the point yet where you could call him out for it, at least not in the way you would've wanted by just being straight forward.
“Everything okay?” You eventually asked, to which Noah relaxed his shoulders and smiled at you.
“Sorry, yeah. I was just remembering something I needed to do at the club.”
“Oh, okay. Well, how much do I owe you for the coffee?”
“What? No, you don't owe me anything.” He was now peering at you as if you had two heads. “Consider it an apology for keeping you up so late.”
“No apology needed.” You wanted to tell Noah that you actually enjoyed talking to him. He made you feel comfortable, as odd as that may have sounded since he was still practically a stranger. But you didn't. You skirted the topic completely. “Did you want to come inside? I didn't mean to leave you standing out here in the cold.”
“I've really got to get to the club. I just wanted to see you for a minute”.
“Well…you've seen me.” You laughed, your hip dipping a bit and your free hand motioning towards yourself. Fuck, that was so lame. Hopefully it wasn't too obvious to him that you were completely out of your comfort zone. You weren't good at this sort of thing. You couldn't even remember the last time you had tried genuinely flirting with someone.
Noah's dark eyes focused on yours, his look intense. You felt bared beneath his gaze, vulnerable, but something about it kept you hanging on.
“That I have.”
NOAH
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He tried not to seem too flustered as he said his goodbyes to you and headed down the street. The further he walked from your eyesight, the faster his steps became. Noah hated leaving you like that because he could sense your confusion but it was for the best. There was no telling who within that house was watching you with him and he didn't want to put your well being in danger anymore than he probably already had.
As he turned the corner, he quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Jolly. It only took two rings for him to pick up because Jolly knew better than anyone that he didn't call people. He actually despised talking on the phone. He would only do it for Jolly and now maybe you too, if that's what you wanted.
“We have a problem,” he breathed out the moment the call connected. Dark eyes continued to dart about, every nerve in his body on edge.
“What kind of problem?”
“Our lovely little Genevieve is working for the enemy.”
There was a long moment of silence and then Jolly sighed. “Which enemy?”
“The worst one.” Noah didn't need to give any further explanation. His best friend knew how hard it was for him to think about the past, let alone talk about it. After all, it wasn't everyday he was plunged back into the memories of the night his parents were killed.
▷ tag list
@collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard
@koffemilk
@oobleoob
@respectfulrebel
@missduffsblog
let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list!
#noah sebastian#bad omens fanfiction#noah sebastian fanfiction#bad omens fan fiction#noah sebastian fan fiction#noah sebastian smut#bad omens smut#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian series#bad omens series#on display fanfic#no beta#writing strictly on a whim and vibes#cut me some slack
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
Worth The Weight- Carmy Berzatto x Plus size reader
Hey everyone! Ive been re-watching Season 3 of The Bear and felt like I should write more about our Carmy :) enjoy!
The kitchen buzzed with energy—pans clanging, knives tapping against cutting boards, and Carmen’s sharp voice cutting through the noise like a blade. He was in full control, moving between stations with that frantic intensity he always carried, his hands flying as if stopping would somehow break him. You stayed back, leaning against the wall, doing your best not to take up space.
You weren’t sure why you came.
This wasn’t your world. The kitchen was alive, electric, filled with people who knew what they were doing and didn’t give a shit about what anyone thought. And here you were, awkward, self-conscious, tugging at the hem of a sweater you already regretted wearing.
That morning, it had taken everything in you not to cancel. You’d stared at your reflection for too long, cataloging every imperfection, every reason why this was a bad idea. The jeans that felt too tight. The sweater that clung in all the wrong places. The way your mind wouldn’t stop repeating the same cruel, familiar mantra: too big, too much, not enough.
But Carmen had asked you to stop by. And the way he’d said it, low and soft like he actually cared, made it impossible to say no.
Now you were wishing you had.
“Yo, Carm, your girl’s here!”
Richie’s voice rang out like a gunshot, and your stomach twisted as heads turned. A few of the line cooks smirked, nudging each other, and you crossed your arms, wishing you could disappear.
“Shut the fuck up, Richie,” Carmen snapped, barely glancing at him as he wiped his hands on a towel and made his way toward you.
“Hey,” he said, his voice dropping to something softer as he stopped in front of you. His hair was a mess, a stray curl sticking to his forehead, and his apron was already stained. Somehow, he still looked good. “You okay?”
You nodded too quickly, forcing a tight smile. “Yeah. Just thought I’d stop by.”
“I’m glad you did.” He studied your face, his blue eyes narrowing slightly like he could tell something was off. “You sure you’re good?”
You shrugged, looking down. “I don’t know if I should’ve come.”
His brows furrowed. “Why the fuck not?”
“I just…” You hesitated, feeling the weight of his stare. “I feel out of place.”
“Out of place where?” His voice was quieter now, but there was an edge to it.
“Here. Anywhere. I don’t know.” The words tumbled out, your frustration boiling over. “I just feel like I stick out. Like I don’t belong. Like…I’m too much of everything I shouldn’t be.”
Carmen’s jaw clenched, and he took a deep breath, his gaze fixed on you.
“Who the fuck told you that?” he asked, his voice low, steady, dangerous.
You shook your head, shrugging. “No one has to. It’s just how it is, Carm.”
“That’s bullshit.” The words came fast, his tone sharper now. “That’s fucking bullshit, and you know it.”
You blinked, startled by the force of his response.
“You think you don’t belong?” he continued, his voice rising slightly. “In here, with me? You’re out of your goddamn mind.”
“Carm, it’s not that simple—”
“It is that fucking simple,” he snapped, cutting you off. “When I asked you to come, it wasn’t because I needed you to prove anything or fit into some bullshit idea of…whatever the hell you think this is. I asked you because I wanted you here. Because I like having you here. You think you’re too much? Fuck that.”
His words were blunt, harsh even, but there was something raw in his tone that made your chest ache.
“I don’t know how to stop feeling like this,” you admitted, your voice barely audible.
“I’m not asking you to flip a switch,” he said, softening just slightly. “I get it. That shit gets in your head, and it’s fucking loud. But you don’t have to listen to it alone, okay? You don’t have to listen to it at all.”
You swallowed hard, your throat tight. His gaze didn’t waver, and for a moment, you let yourself believe him.
“Okay,” you whispered.
He nodded, his shoulders relaxing. “Good. Now, you want to sit down? I’ll get you a drink. Richie’s probably got some stupid fucking story he’s dying to tell you.”
You let out a quiet laugh despite yourself, the tension easing just a little. “Yeah, okay.”
Carmen’s lips quirked into a small, almost shy smile, and for the first time all day, you felt like maybe—just maybe—you belonged.
#carmy berzatto angst#Carmy berzatto imagine#Carmy berzatto#the bear#Jeremy Allen white#plus size reader
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
biteyoubiteme's 2024 tumblr wrapped
2024 is over and now we are on to 2025! im so happy to have joined the writing community here on tumblr this year and im so excited for whats to come now in the new year! I wanted to share some of my fav fics from this year but there isn't nearly enough space for me to talk about all the amazing fics I read this year but just know that anything I liked or reblogged im so thankful to have read bc it’s so fun and heartwarming that we all share our fics together to enjoy for free with people who love the same things as us.
ive met so many amazing people on this app and im so happy to share a space with such amazing writers and readers and get to just talk about cute boys with you all. ;-; <333
cams fic stats:
-56 fics/drabbles/thoughts -116.77k words written
cams personal favs:
busy signal wc: 4.7k (yeonkai x reader) [NSFW] my first fic! im so happy I just up and posted this baby even if I was scared lol im so much better for it and I love love love the yeonkai au ive got going on and ill say that all the yeonkai x reader fics I have on my m.list are just my favs bc I really do love them all but this one was the starts so ill give it the floor. black cherry flavored wc: 9.2k (ot5) [NSFW] this was by far my most popular txt fic and the one I had the most fun and stress writing- I love the way it turned out and im so happy so many of you guys loved it just as much as I did. I was so worried with how it would come across I just love love love that so many of you liked it and im so excited for kinktober 25' already planning out the ot5 fic so yay for that lol bubble gum flavored wc: 6k [NSFW] this fic was just smut basically but it was the one fic that I was so so so so so excited for bc I just love it like beomiebear will be in my head forever im working on pt2 and just ugh I love him he’s always on my mind- lemon cake wc: 8.9k [NSFW] LEMON DROP SOOBIN SAVE ME oh I loved this fic bc I got to work with all my friends on it and it jsut made me so so so giddy- ugh I love to work with amazing writers and I love it even more that I got to be apart of the collab in the first place ;-; bitten wc: 3.8k [NSFW] for someone with the user name that I have I don't nearly have enough vampire content and I need to fix that- I loved this fic and I wish I could have made it like 17k bc I would do it and id do it again and again and again.
cams fav reads of 24'
again I wish I could put like a million links on this bc I read so many good fics in 2024 but sadly I cannot but just know if I left a reblog or like on a fic I was happily fed by your work <333 these are not in order at all!!!
heartworm - @hyukascampfire - huening kai / txt I adore this fic so so so much and I think about just how delicious ashs writing style is every single day- I will keep thinking about this fic until I can't think thoughts any longer Betrayal - @apeachty - yeonkai x reader / txt I love everything nina writes and the two of us have our pinkieslocked as we giggle about yeonkai and I need everyone to go and check out all her works bc im only putting one but I love them all. also dropping the link to this soobin drabble with small boobs reader bc I love it sm! fluffy ice - @beomiracles - yeonjun / txt serene wrote so much this year and so much of it is so fucking good but this, although short drabble, just stays in my mind. I love how sweet and innocent it is while having darker elements. serenes writing style just fits this topic so well and id read it over and over again. Escapism - @prince-jjae - yeonjun / txt UGH! no one could get me away from escapism yeonjun- how many times do I have to reblog this to get across the point that I loved it sm? cause ill do it again, ill read it again, and ill love it so much more for it. I love jjaes writing style I wanna break a piece off and swallow it whole okay bc I love it sm. bitten - @silvergyus - huening kai / txt VAMPIRE FICS and a huening vampire fic at that- ugh I loved this I love innocent kai and I love even more that it’s vampire reader- I love this idea so much and what is an ari fic without mirror sex??? I love it so much more becuase of it- good pup - @bandgie - minho x reader x seungmin / skz I love everything bandgie writes but this one took the cake for me this year im still thinking about it and it’s not even something that I ever usually read but ill read anything they put out and I learned something new about myself- also all the coraline fics- ugh this idea was so fucking good and I love love love it switch to me - @chyuuiung - beomkai x reader / txt I LOVED THIS FIC I think about this fic all the time, I post about it all the time and yeah I miss chyuu sm but I need everyone to know what I love this fic and ill keep loving it and thinking about it forever and ever- under the moon - @miupow - felix / skz oh how this fic took me out- I still love it I still think about it and I need to give felix my firstborn asap he’s just so yummy in this fic and lias so descriptive and ugh a hyper pink room and a demon core is my vibe everyday okay I love it the willow tree - @hyukalyptus - yeonjun / txt I LOVE PRINCE YEONJUN I love even more a good rekindled lovers fic and even more so I love a fic thats long and gives so much bc this gave me what I wanted and more- it even had me giggling at times and I love a good fic that can do that- im still thinking about him even now strawberry dreams - @thetxtdevil - huening kai / txt ugh how I begged for mae to work on this fic bc the idea omfg- all of maes ideas are so good I don't know how her mind works but it’s a sexy idea factory- I love Blueberry!kai SO MUCH!!! and im so happy with all the strawberry land fics that were born from this one idea thank you mae you're mind- I will never shut up about it actually Strawberryland m.list
ugh I wish I could add more bc I have so many more recs-
cams 2025 goals:
-although I feel like I will be slowing down in 25' I plan to write longer plot heavy fics since I have several in the making already- -I want to try and keep up with reading new fics bc it’s so much fun to read what everyone esle is doing and sometimes I get lost in just writing and forget what made me want to start in the first place. -and I want to interact with more of you guys! moots or not I hope we can chat and giggle of fics and cute boys bc I love to do that lol thats why im here <333
but here is to 2025! ily all <333
inspo for this post from @heechwe 's post !!!
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stiles is Supernatural Crack
1: The Night at the Nemeton
Masterlist | AO3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
everyone stays AU(NOT everyone lives), forget anything after season 4, post-high school, breif heretosexuality, and— what you really came for— Sterek.
Roscoe was loaded down with werewolves yelling at Stiles's everytime the thing changed directions as if he wasn’t also watching it. Stiles's eyes followed the figure in front of the jeep as it ran through the trees, trying to lose them. The jeep was violently protesting the number of people inside combined with the pushing 50mph on a shitty path through the preserve. His grip on the steering wheel turned his knuckles white, driving over the uneven ground and over the brush made it shake, and he silently begged Roscoe not to roll when they’d hit a thicker branch or turn too sharp.
Thanks to Jackson refusing to let his car be used, they had to cram the entire pack in Stiles's and Liam's cars. Which meant that Liam, Isaac, Malia, and Ethan were all in one car, leaving Stiles, Scott, Kira, and Jackson in the jeep. Chris Argent followed them, having been completely against taking any of the unruly werewolves in his car.
He found himself once again questioning why the Hell the fucking Chupacabra was in California and, more specifically, Beaken Hills when Lydia's voice came through his phone again.
"Guys, are you still there?"
"Haven't lost service yet," Stiles answered.
"Okay, so here's what we got—" Lydia was cut off as the Chupacabra made a sharp turn and the car filled with yelling of directions even though Stiles had already turned. "Oh my god. Can you guys shut up? This is important," Lydia told them where the yelling quieted. "Thank you. From what we can tell, anything that would kill you, kills it."
"Oh, great! So no friendly fire," Stiles remarked. "That will work great when the Calaveras make their next appearance."
"Stiles, shut up," Jackson huffed.
"He has a point," Scott mutters. "Has anyone told Liam?"
"Well, considering you wanted me to tell you idiots first and I'm still talking to you, no."
Stiles half hides his smile. He could hear the eye roll in Lydia's voice.
Speaking of hearing things, Roscoe made a popping noise and started to slow. “Oh no no no no no,” Stiles said.
He cranked the wheel as best he could into a less wooded area, trying to move out of the way for Liam. The path they were on was barely wide enough for a single vehicle, there was no way Liam could get by if he was still in the path. Too bad for him, Liam followed Stiles and stopped too.
The was a rush of people getting out of Liam’s car, thinking they’d cornered it. At the same time, people piled out of the jeep, knowing they’d lost it.
Scott paused at the jeep door. "Stiles—"
"Ya, ya. I know. Stay in the car, Stiles. You'll get hurt. You only have a bat," Stiles said in his best Scott impression. "This is why I should have a real weapon, so I can be more helpful," Stiles said as himself. "You know why you don't have one," he said in his Scott impression.
"I think you need to keep working on those impressions. I sounded a lot like Derek," Scott joked.
"You're saying the same crap he does," he called as Scott went to talk to the pack. Stiles groaned, laying his head on the wheel.
“Roscoe, buddy, come on,” he sighed, turning the jeep off and pulling the key from the ignition. "We can't afford this again."
Stiles looked up just in time to see a rush of black fur run past the group. He froze, fearing there was a second Chupacabra. The werewolves of the group took off after it.
Stiles got out of the Jeep, grabbing his bat along the way, and stumbling over to Chris Argent. “Uh, so, what was that? I mean, uh, did you get a good look? Was it– was it another one or….”
Chris shook his head as he loaded down with weapons. “I don’t know Stiles,” he said in a groan. “We are both human, you saw about what I did.”
“Ya, but like,” he made awkward gestures to go with the words, “you have, like hunter training and… stuff.”
Chris sighed, closing the trunk of his car. “Listen—”
A howl rang through the forest. Stiles felt it calm his nerves in a way. He laughed at himself, a wolf howl was calming. That showed how messed up his life was. It was familiar and strange all at once. It sounded like a real wolf, not a werewolf. There are no wolves in California. That, combined with the black animal that ran past…
“Derek,” Stiles whispered.
Without another thought, Stiles ran. He ran and ran. He could barely breath. His lungs burned, he stumbled through branches and over exposed roots. He felt himself being cut. He felt the blood dripping down his legs. He didn’t know where they were. He couldn’t hear them. But somehow, he felt a pull to them from deep in the trees. He was being drawn in, drawn towards them.
Chris yelled after Stiles. He chased after him. He had grown to trust him. Stiles always found his way. He knew where to go no matter how lost they were. It didn’t matter what was going on, he found them, he knew, he lived, every single time.
There had been whispers lately. Deaton and Scott talked after everyone else left. Chris saw the whispered conversations between the wolves. Once, he’d heard Liam telling Scott about something Stiles had done. It was becoming increasingly obvious that there was something up with Stiles.
Chris was, at max, six feet behind Stiles when he broke through the tree cover. Chris stepped out and stutter-stepped to a stop. Where was everyone?
Stiles stared at the Nemeton in front of him. His friends were fighting, struggling to get a shot in on the chupacabra without hurting their friends. He wanted to help but felt pulled to the Nemeton. They attacked one at a time as if that had ever worked.
He wanted to touch it.
He needed to touch it.
“Stiles,” Chris called. He heard him but couldn’t pull his eyes away. “Stiles,” Chris said louder.
Stiles seemed to break out of a trance. He turned to look at Chris. He was standing in the clearing, looking around like he was still lost in the trees. “Relax,” Stiles told him.
Stiles voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. It echoed around him and he turned.
“What,” he asked, pulling unwanted attention.
Stiles looked back and saw the Chupacabra’s attention change. It turned away from Isaac, ignoring his attacks. Instead of turning to target another pack member, it went for Chris. His eyes went wide.
“Chris, watch out,” Stiles yelled at him.
He turned toward the chupacabra and drew his gun. For a moment, Stiles thought he’d been able to see through the Nemeton’s veil.
“Where is it,” Chris yelled, looking more frantic.
Stiles didn’t answer. He raised his bat and swung with every once of force he could muster. At the same time, Isaac ran up to attack the chupacabra from behind and Chris took aim at something he couldn’t see.
“Front low,” Scott yelled.
From there, it was all a blur. A mess. They were out of sync and they screwed up. Big time.
Isaac launched himself, trying to attack the creature. At the last moment, the chupacabra made a sharp turn and went for Stiles. Chris took the shot, following Scott’s direction. The bullet hit Isaac and he screamed.
Stiles was knocked to the ground in front of the Nemeton. His head hit a rock and he felt the world start to fade.
Pain brought him to reality as the Chupacabra's claws ripped through him.
Worry filled Chris and the veil lifted, showing the damage he'd done. He ran to Isaac and kneeled by him.
"I’m fine," Isaac hissed, digging his finger into the bullet wound to get the bullet out. “Help Stiles.”
Chris looked up and pointed the gun. He tried to find a shot that wouldn’t risk Stiles. He shook his head. “I can’t. I’ll hit him too,” he said, fear filling him as blood started to pool around Stiles's head. “I don’t have a shot!”
Everything sounded like Stiles was under water. He was dying, he could feel it. No. No, not like this. Not without a fight.
A sense of fear and knowing washed over the clearing. They all felt it. They knew it would be too late to help. No matter what they did, it would be too late. It wouldn’t be enough. They couldn’t save their friend.
Stiles reached for his bat. He gasped in pain at the stretch or his damaged muscles. His bat had landed on the Nemeton. He couldn’t reach it. He hurt. It hurt so bad, like his arm would rip off if he stretched anymore.
They tried. Desperately, the wolves clawed at the chupacabra. They wanted to help but nothing they did would stop it.
His fingers brushed the Nemeton and he lost his breath. It was like being lit on fire. It was white hot as it burned through his body. He screamed, tears pouring down his face.
His tears washed away the blood, leaving the only clean spots on his body.
He swung his arm in a last attempt for life. All he could feel was pain and pressure. He felt the pressure leave all at once.
Everyone was thrown away from Stiles. Each of the wolves were knocked back, their hands burnt where they’d been touching the chupacabra. Even so, they healed quickly. They healed but Stiles couldn’t.
His arm fell onto his stomach and he wanted to vomit. He could feel the shreds that were his skin. He could feel the exposed muscle and organs. Warm blood coated his arm as his fingers grew cold. He was dying…
“Stiles! Stiles,” Scott yelled, running to his best friend. He fell to his knees at Stiles's side.
The chupacabra was thrown from Stiles's body by an invisible force. It’s skin started to charr, burning without a flame. It gave a shrill screech, curling into itself when it hit the ground. The sound grew weaker, going silent as only when it had died.
Stiles knew he was dying. He’d lost so much blood. He was going to die. He was bleeding out. Stiles was going to die in the middle of the woods.
He’d never see his dad again.
All at once, Scott felt useless. He felt powerless. He didn’t know what to do. Even touching him would hurt Stiles. His stomach church as a familiar smell his his nose. Stiles smelled like death. If he took away the pain, he was sure Stiles would die.
His dad would never see him again. Just like Claudia.
“Hey, hey. Look at me buddy,” Scott pleaded. Scott could hear Stiles's breathing turning from heavy and labored to rough hick-ups. His heart was slowing, becoming weaker and harder to hear. “Stiles,” he said through tears of his own.
Stiles looked up. He couldn’t see the sky. The trees blocked the moon light. He didn’t remember it being this dark a second ago…
“Stiles please. I need you. I can’t lose you,” Scott whispered. Scott couldn’t take his pain. It was the last thing keeping Stiles with them. If he didn’t feel pain, he’d slip away.
The tears slowly stopped rolling down Stiles's face, leaving clear, clean lines on his face. His pale skin seemed to grow almost white and waxy. Stiles eyes were barely open, like he was falling asleep, but they were glassy.
His arm lay next to the Nemeton, his fingers seeming to twitch. His heartbeat was slow. It was so slow Scott almost thought it was gone.
Chris walked closer to Scott and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Scott,” he whispered.
Stiles saw Scott and Chris looking down at him. It reminded him of Allison. Karma. His last view would be the same as her’s.
Derek shifted back to his human form, panic and terror flooding his brain. He ran over to Stiles, yelling at Scott, “help him, damn it! He’ll die in pain if you don’t!”
“If I do that, he’ll die,” Scott whispered, his voice too weak to yell as tears fell down his face. “He’s my best friend, Derek… I can’t lose him. Not him too.”
Stiles's body felt stiff. He couldn’t move. Like being stuck in tar. Even his fingers could barely twitch. He couldn’t do anything.
He was really, truly helpless.
“Then save him,” Derek told him, standing on the opposite side of Stiles as Scott. “You can save him if you really care so much! I saved Cora! If you’re so worried about your best friend, you could save him. ” He watched Scott’s eyes, watched him consider it. He was taking too long. “Your being selfish,” Derek growled. “If you can’t give up your power to save him, them give him the bite or take away the pain.”
Today was the day Stiles died.
What was today? Wednesday? Thursday?
He could take the pain. He could save Stiles. “He didn’t want that,” Scott said clearly, grabbing Stiles's bloody hand. He was being selfish.
It was June.
His mom died in June too…
Derek watched Scott and watched the pain slowly leaching from Stiles's body.
Stiles exhaled as the pain went away. It was replaced by cold. He felt so cold.
Derek shifted back into his wolf form and laid down beside Stiles. He didn’t want him to feel alone. He didn’t want Stiles's last moments to be alone. Derek couldn’t do much, he knew Stiles didn’t like him, but he could be there. He needed to be there.
Watching Stiles die… it made something deep in his chest ache. Why did this hurt so bad? Why did losing Stiles hurt so much? They couldn’t stand each other, right? He tried to keep his pain to himself, a small whimper managing to escape. He left himself nose at Stiles's arm– to comfort Stiles, he assure himself.
Derek’s nose bumped Stiles's and it hit the Nemeton.
Stiles sat up and screamed in pain.
Scott and Derek both moved away.
They saw Stiles's eyes roll into the back of his head and he fell limp. Scott caught him before he could hit the ground again.
Scott looked Stiles over and his jaw dropped. Stiles's life threatening wounds were heal. Nasty, fresh scars were left in their place.
“What the Hell,” Chris muttered, looking at him too. “Did you…”
“No,” Scott said quickly, almost defensively, “I wanted to but…”
“We better get him to the hospital,” he muttered.
Isaac walked over, his bullet wound having already been treated, “to the hospital or to Deaton?”
“Maybe both,” Scott said it with a sigh.
#teen wolf#stiles stilinski#derek hale#sterek#scott mcall#lydia martin#teen wolf fanfiction#sterek fanfiction#sterek fandom#fanfiction
22 notes
·
View notes
Video
Untitled by Dream Beam
#fucking positive#YACHT#Jona#Bechtolt#Claire#L#Evans#incredibly#boss#american#apparel#skirt#magic#light#why does everyone like this so much?#because it says FUCKING#everyone needs to get over the word FUCKING already#and just love YACHT instead#YACHT =#flickr
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page
#delete later#deleting soon bc eyes on me#for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL#sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out#im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever#but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened#i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow!#all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc#idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project.#as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it#and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either.#im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting#and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better#its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3#this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love#cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble#and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it)#i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim
54 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey am i a fool or wasnt TFES s2 finished with the battle with terratronus?
(or is this the meme like the dreamed up pacific rim sequal?)
That was just the end of the first part of s2
Remember how s1 came in three drops?
S2 is gonna have multiple drops too (as I've heard, there's gonna be three more parts to it)
The S2 part B drops somewhere around October 26th or 27th!
#maccadam#transformers#tfe terratronus#so#it's not over#everyone is writing off s2 as garbage already but//it's not over//#I'm pretty fucking sure that the Quintessons are going to end up as the final Big Bad Evil Guys of s2#it. is. not. over.#transformers earthspark#tfe#tf earthspark#tfes#tf es#WHATEVER#i need people to know things can get better with earthspark s2#I'll be eating my damn words if I'm wrong but i promise you guys there is hope for the rest of season two
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
i read this one uu fic where ash knows tht spoke is spoke inthe mafia episode and its lkke him giving spoke a ceremony outfit and its kinda gay with all of the caressing and shit but idk if i like them that way Id prefer to see them in a toxic platonic way but the author might make them kiss if they make a sequel but ill pretend that its a cheek kiss instead if they do
#its a shame cuz its my fav fic so far#but if they do oh well I wont complain i wont be mean it might be kinda weird cuz spoke is 17 inthink Oh wow hes a year older tha me thats#crazy ngl not sure how to process that but#I really liked the fic because it was so good in making ash manipulative but also I dont have much to complain over#I wouldve said that spokes too dumbed down in the fic but hes stupid in uu#well not stupid I need to stop using that word so freely its moreso uhrr#He struggles with making decisions quickly and processing things and that causes people(ash) to take advantage of him#in ls hes the leader in uu he follows#really visible with him and mapicc 'Follow me me me!' 'Lets go go go!'#I do love the fic a lot I really want to see how the ceremony would play out#because ashalso fkrced spoke to drink aglass of milk and told him not to go invis and i assume theres gonna be multiple invis players#which would be reallyyyy interesting#Lkke the guy with the biggest mark on his head is getting a ceremony. something no other diamond player has got. this guy that everyone has#been told to kill on sight is rigth next to ash sorta like a right hand man situation but he doesn't have a say in anything it kinda plays#more into spoke being some sort of thropy but i dont want to objectify him in my mind cuz thats ickyyyyy#ash : I cant stop winning#!#I want to see ash make spoke come with him when hes taunting parrot loke inthe recent uu episode#I reallly loved that#I might become an uu ash fan but In our system we have a uu mapicc (named mape cuz we got 2 mapiccs) So When he finds out i like ash#hes gonna get mad but like I dont support his actions theyre clearly bad and flawed and evil like ls wemmbu but i csnt bring myself but to#like them#I say as I remember the evil alter forming sensation in my brain#We already got ls wemmbu Dont tell me were gonna get uu ash inhere too#Ohhh god this is gonna be so fucking bad#text
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy birthday Mushitarou!
The sad silly green man is one of the absolute best and also one of the most criminally underrated characters in all of BSD. I don’t have any fics or anything for him today (EVENTUALLY... eventually....), but I’ll share some headcanons for him (+others) that I have 💚 (part headcanons/part analysis tbh)
Under the cut cause uhhhh this got a lot longer than I expected it would ahaha, smh:
While I don’t think he had any particular falling-out with his family, I think Mushi is naturally isolated from them, and only became more closed off after his father died, someone whom he was especially close to and who shaped him into the good person that he is. He was lonely growing up in school, and Yokomizo was as well, even though it didn’t seem that way on the surface due to the latter being much more outgoing and extroverted; neither of them had anyone who truly understood and engaged with their interests (especially not Mushi after the loss of his father). Yokomizo was also estranged from his relatives, even more so after he became obsessed with writing, so he and Mushi became as close as family after enough time had passed – they really were all each other had, in so many ways.
Mushi already visited Yokomizo frequently enough as it is, without much else to do in his life, but began coming to see him even more often after he was told about Yokomizo’s terminal illness/given the request to kill him. Despite Yokomizo’s desire to finish his novel before his health deteriorated enough to be noticeable, he was unable to do so, and as time wore on, Mushi began to worry that something would happen to Yokomizo without anyone there to help, and took it upon himself to take care of him. Yokomizo’s urgency to finish his writing became more desperate, yet Mushi tried to keep him from pushing himself, which somewhat worked – there was an unspoken understanding that both were trying to put off the inevitable; for Mushi, it was out of utter denial of losing him and of what he’d have to do, and for Yokomizo, it was out of a sorrowful desire to spend as much time with Mushi as he still could, and guilt for the tremendously selfish and cruel thing he was ultimately asking of him, even as both of these emotions fought with his stubborn desire to go out the way he wanted to.
Mushi’s façade of hatred towards Yokomizo after killing him, although mostly a coping mechanism to distance himself from him and his grief, is not entirely without basis: a small part of him did want to genuinely hate Yokomizo for forcing this upon him, though ultimately a much larger part of him simply hated himself for doing something so unspeakable to the person he called his friend, even if it was asked of him.
Yokomizo, however, wanted Mushi to hate him over all, even if he never said this outright. The months leading up to his death were filled with worry for his friend, for the person who was essentially like a younger family member to him (not exactly a little brother, but… something akin to that. Although they’re probably around the same age, I feel like Yokomizo was more mature (not in every way though of course), and was protective over Mushi in a lot of ways); he knew Mushi very well, and he knew that Mushi would not cope well with his death at all, let alone what he was asking of him – he already wasn’t coping well. Mushi always had walls up and pretended to be arrogant, pretended to be selfish and not care about anyone but himself, but Yokomizo was the one person he was comfortable around, and he had long since practically become home for him: although their time together was never anything extravagant, he was able to bring him out of his shell, and force him to do and think about things he never would have otherwise, giving them both a happiness they each would have never otherwise known for so many years. But then that fragile peace they had together, that safety net, was being cruelly ripped away from them both, and the thought that Mushi would go back to being lonely, closed-off, and isolated after he was gone, drowning in his grief and with no one else to support him anymore, was more devastating to Yokomizo than even the fact that he was dying. As cruel and selfish as asking Mushi to kill him for his perfect crime was, I think a part of him felt it would be even crueler to force Mushi to watch him slowly wither away from illness (and he, too, dreaded and was terrified of having to go out like that, after so much drawn-out pain), and he selfishly hoped that Mushi’s hatred of him for forcing this upon him would overcome his grief, and the inevitable self-loathing he would have – yes, Mushi could hate him, needed to hate him, anything to keep him from hating himself. Of course, Yokomizo knew that wouldn’t happen, because Mushi was far too kind, far too caring, and far too selfless – anyone who would do so much for him for so many years as he had, especially after he became ill, and would willingly agree to go as far as to essentially euthanize him for his selfish final dream, no matter how much all of it hurt him, was truly the greatest friend anyone could ask for. Mushi was and is a beautifully selfless person, but he himself could never see it – only Yokomizo could, and so he knew exactly how he would respond, and worried about him immensely because of it. And that worry made him want to try to distance himself from Mushi as much as possible, to die as soon as possible, even, so it wouldn’t be even harder on him than it already would be… but in the end what won over that was his desire to make as many happy memories with him as possible in those final months, so they could somehow try to forget about what was coming, if only briefly; so that Yokomizo could, maybe, somehow, in some small way, believe that Mushi would be okay in the end after he was gone. :’ )
Continuing this, as part of those memories, I headcanon Yokomizo liked to dance with Mushi a lot, since there’s some art of them doing that 💚 Mushi also took Yokomizo out to various quiet place, like to see fireworks or the beach. He canonically doesn’t like the smell of the salty sea air (why? I have no clue), but I hc Yokomizo loved the sea, so Mushi went with him there at least once oops my Yokomizo Oda similarity headcanons are showing-
Yokomizo wanted Mushi to be happy, but it also worried him that his friend clearly bottled everything up and never allowed himself to cry, either. So seeing him cry in his last moments was a huge weight off his shoulders, and was somehow what ultimately convinced him that Mushi would one day be okay again. :’ )
At some point, probably multiple times, Mushi and Yokomizo had a discussion where Mushi tried to make sure that Yokomizo truly, sincerely wanted him to do what he was asking of him. Around and around, trying to talk him out of it, insisting that he hadn’t truly thought it through, but Yokomizo was always gently steadfast. After they settled on strangulation (poison, aside from being ruled out for the sake of the reader, was not what Yokomizo preferred when his body was already painfully killing itself from the inside), Mushi tried to suggest that he be given a strong sleeping pill/sedative before being killed so that he wouldn’t feel it, but Yokomizo insisted against it, as it would imply sympathy on the part of the killer, which couldn’t happen. His sickly state, although it wasn’t yet public while he was still alive, would already suggest a mercy killing and was putting the plan/general reception at risk enough as it was. </3
After killing Yokomizo, Mushi handled his body ever-so-delicately, tenderly, almost reverently, just as he had many times before while carrying him, as he strung him up the way he was instructed, and even as he cut off his ears. He took his time doing it, wanting to hold his friend close and memorize what he looked like for as long as he possibly could in these final moments, even though he felt like his hands didn’t have the right to touch him anymore. Then, after everything was in place and he’d fled the premises with the manuscript, he promptly threw up somewhere. :’ )
Yokomizo was the second person to give him the nickname “Mushi”, after Mushi’s father. No one else ever calls him that now; it’s a name reserved only for them.
Mushi struggles while trying to write at Poe’s mansion out of a feeling of inferiority compared to Yokomizo; writing and mysteries were never his passion, they were Yokomizo’s, and he was just indulging the latter’s hobbies. He has no right to claim the role of writer for himself, not now that he’s gone and when he was only ever in it for Yokomizo to begin with… and there’s no possible way he can ever create anything good or original, when they’d already talked at length about how everything in the mystery genre had already been done, and Yokomizo himself created the ultimate mystery that no one could ever possible top, least of all him.
But Poe knows that what he writes doesn’t need to be perfect or even good; Mushi only needs to do it as a form of therapy for himself, because it will bring him closer to his deceased friend, since mysteries are what they enjoyed most when he was alive. (and I honestly think Poe would understand and empathize Mushi very well, having been so isolated and lonely in the past himself before Ranpo essentially saved him just as Yokomizo did for him) Once he’s able to convey that to him, it gradually comes more naturally to Mushi and becomes comforting for him as Poe intended. 💚
Mushi forms a reluctant friendship with Karl over the course of his stay with Poe (inspired by this person’s art series of them together 🥹). It starts with Karl trying to help the first time Mushi has a nightmare there, and after that he starts bothering him/trying to get his attention in general, until Mushi slowly gives in, becoming begrudgingly fond of the little creature. Whenever he’s having a hard time, whether it be a nightmare or a panic attack or just listlessness, Karl is usually there for him, as his own personal therapy raccoon. 💚
To add to that, Mushi canonically dislikes thunder; I headcanon that when they were together during storms, Yokomizo always made sure to be even more chatty than usual, to distract Mushi from his fear of the noise. Once he’s at Poe’s mansion, when it storms, he suddenly realizes how much louder and scarier the thunder feels now… but of course he doesn’t let it show. Karl, however, notices his discomfort, and is there for him during storms now. :’ )
Post-series, in general, Mushi always brings treats for Karl whenever he meets up with Poe again. 💚
A headcanon plenty of people have, but Ango is absolutely crucial to Mushi’s journey of healing. Post-series, they have quite a few talks about their respective situations, and Ango is the one person Mushi ultimately (after enough time, of course) bears the most of his soul and his pain to, because Ango can empathize with him and understand his guilt/self-loathing/sorrow in a way none of the others can. Earlier on, Ango checks on Mushi the most (Ranpo and Poe do too though) to make sure that he’s taking care of himself, just like he occasionally does/did with Dazai.
Mushi starts wearing traditional clothes more often after Yokomizo’s death, including a few old things that used to belong to him, that are comforting to Mushi.
There aren’t many public photos of Yokomizo, since he was a rather private author. There is, however, only one single personal photo of him, one he roped a grumpy Mushi into taking with him once, his own expression being as sunshine-y and exuberant as always in contrast. Mushi cherishes it now :’ ) oops the buraiha trio vibes strike again
Because of his period of dealing with Yokomizo’s terminal illness, Mushi has some medical-related knowledge that the average person probably wouldn’t. It isn’t the kind of thing he wants to dwell on after Yokomizo’s death, and he can’t stand being around hospitals, for obvious reasons, but regardless, whether he’s consciously aware of it or not, he is especially compassionate/understanding towards those who are sick and disabled that he encounters. His time with Yokomizo has given him perspectives and philosophies about life that he wouldn’t otherwise have, and when he’s not trying to write strictly mysteries, it’s the sort of things that are evident in his writing. In a way, writing about it in general is healing for him, separate from mysteries being comforting to him solely because they’re associated with Yokomizo.
At some point, Mushi starts visiting Yokomizo’s grave together with Ango, Poe, and Ranpo, or sometimes just Ango. Similarly, he, Poe and Ranpo join Ango in visiting Oda’s grave. He and Ango each tell stories about their respective lost loved ones, so that more people will learn about and remember who they once were. 💚
With his ability, Ango is able to read the memories within the room Yokomizo was living in (or perhaps in objects Mushi owns), and see numerous happy memories he had with Mushi, long before his illness and death. With what he sees and conveys, Poe is able to write a small story of the memory, which he then gives to Mushi, allowing him to go into the story and relive the memory and see Yokomizo again for the first time in years. It’s not the real Yokomizo, and Mushi knows this – he’s long since stopped seeing the hallucination of him, because he’s healed enough by this point. But even so, just knowing that the book is there, that he can see his friend moving and talking again whenever he wishes – a version of Yokomizo that is just as happy and bright and energetic as he always remembered, without suffering from illness – is the greatest gift and kindness he could ever imagine receiving, and from his new friends no less, and it’s enough to make him cry, from how loved he truly is :’ ) 💚
I love Mushitarou sooooo much, and I truly hope he gets more attention in the future (can’t wait for tomorrow’s episode!!), because his story is so touching and his character so relatable and comforting 🥹 and I sincerely hope he finds his ultimate happiness in the manga one day. Happy birthday, you sweet, sentimental, pathetic (affectionate), goofy little gremlin man 💚
#bungou stray dogs#mushitarou oguri#meta#HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MUSHI TAKE MY ANGST-FILLED HEADCANONS#that will hopefully be fics someday. ha. haaaaaaah.........#'i dont have anything for his birthday :(' *writes 2.3k words of headcanons/character analysis dumping* typical me smh#'this will be short' narrator: it was not and never will be short#i just love him so much!!!! he's too underrated!!! more people need to talk about him *cries*#then again i feel like literally everyone who isn't skk or fyolai are underrated in one way or another in the bsd fandom sooooooo lol#but especially mushi </3#it took me way too long to appreciate him but he is genuinely one of the best written characters in the series imo#up there with Oda#god#mark my words there's gonna be parallels between his and yokomizo's story later with fyolai#as there already is with him and oda & dazai#and then you all will see!!! the importance of his arc!!!!#him and ango too!!! aughhhhh i never get over how asagiri tied him and ango together so BEAUTIFULLY in a way that makes PERFECT SENSE#I'M NOT READY TO CRY TOMORROW FUCK 😭😭😭#anyway stan mushitarou he is best boy#he could take down fyodor with one kick full stop#in fact i think that's what he deserves
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
this jason todd is FUCKING with my head man i've rewritten it like 15 FUCKING TIMES ALREADY AND I WANT IT TO DIE!
#everyone be quiet liz is speaking#WHEN WILL YOU LEARN#THAT YOUR ACTIONS#HAVE CONSEQUENCES#seriously though#when will i learn that i do not have to write 4k words#of build up#just to get to the fUCKING POINT#like this concept did NOT need to be over 4000 already#it just DIDNT#BUT IT DOES!#and im considering deleting and making it shorter#if this fic got beat with a crowbar and blown up by a clown....#i would NOT be angry#jason might have something to say#BUT I DONT!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
they were already incredibly suspicious to me, every last one of those supposed “professionals.” i think I’m more suspicious than I ever was now - somehow that was possible. I’m even more apprehensive, perhaps even fearful.
solidarity between people who want to take psychiatric meds to function and those who don’t.
What’s important is that we both have autonomy, informed consent and safe access to treatments we want, and to not be forced, coerced or pressured into those we don’t.
#yes yes yes#I feel so trapped right now - it seems I might be able to cancel the appointment and hopefully take nothing but if I’m unable to I think-#-that will be my final straw#horrifying for me. interacting with psychiatry at the age the body is at is traumatizing - traumatizing at any age though perhaps I’m being#-dramatic. I don’t think so though.#my experiences have been less than decent so far - for the most part#plus they tended to want me on medication out of simple stigmatized lenses#they were more concerned about the fact that I even experienced something such as supposed hallucinations (GASP) than my actual experiences#it’s difficult to word but I’ll speak more and hopefully organize my thoughts in a later post#psychiatry isn’t here to help it’s here to put everyone in a single file line - they mentioned me not being normal enough essentially#I’ll elduicate more in a later post#but I was forced and am being forced with the looming threat of long term hospitalization though I will hopefully be able to get out of it#that threat is now always hanging over my head#they forced me and it ended up fucking with a health condition I already have along with general side effects#the courts almost got involved while the impostor was trying to get me out of there because they didn’t want to release me#despite it being an unhelpful place just like every mental hospital. I feel even more ‘unsafe’ as they call it and tempted to run now.#I don’t trust the medicine I’m afraid of it and having threats held over my head it all felt sort of like mind rape - to be dramatic again#it doesn’t matter how much I express how afraid of them I am they don’t understand and I have other reasons besides my suspicion as to why#-I don’t wish to take them. the fact that the body can’t tolerate them for example. not wanting to be forced. the forcing makes me panic.#it’s mind rape. not to mention even despite the inability to tolerate he still wanted to try an antipsychotic down the line - which is not#going to happen. no medicine. I’m not trying anything. I’d be more open if there weren’t threats over my head and I weren’t being forced#but I don’t want any at all. I have my reasons - they want me to take it for medically induced suicide purposes as well - what I mentioned#earlier/ not being normal enough for their standards and being how they even on a subconscious level view me as a dirty schizo#who needs to be fixed so I don’t want them for that as well#I haven’t rambled about it much yet until now but it feels like mind rape to me even if that’s dramatic I don’t generally experience the#instinct to cry and still I cried multiple different times over this shit over being forcefully kept in a bad facility that wouldn’t even#give me my physical meds and did nothing for health conditions so the body dehydrated horribly and shit and some of the staff were pretty#rude too it was just a bad experience not as bad as lobotomy I know but I couldn’t stand it and being forced the threats all the threats#made sure to try and keep myself in check for that reason but the threats of long term if I wasn’t compliant enough I don’t want to be sent#away I want to be left alone I want freedom I want a break I want a hug (?) I want to be away from all impostors I want to disappear
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Every time my mum throws yet another hissy fit although I can understand she’s being stupid and I let her yap to her hearts content cause she can never quit complaining, for some reason I’m so mildly bothered that the irritation makes me angry at every other thing.
For example : the fact that so and so hasn’t responded in 51 years, fifty more people haven’t even given so much as a single darn to ask why I haven’t replied yet or use those two brain cells of theirs currently fighting for third place to realise huh, maybe she’s going through a hard time ! Maybe you know like a decent fucking human being I could leave her a little note saying she can answer whenever she feels fit enough to do so but that I care for her, and the fact that I am irate by how care and compassion is offered on a silver platter to so many yet for me I have to beg and do the most absurd and pathetic displays to achieve even the slightest speck of kindness, and if I DONT do all of that in the one in a trillion possibility of me receiving kindness for free it makes me so disgusted and afraid because why the fuck would you do that, in fact why the fuck would anyone even do that even if I gave them my whole heart and soul anyways. All I am is less than dirt by way of reason given how I have been treated, and although I’m unsure as to why I am and that I can never fully understand the reason for why I’m not worth a single thing, and why I am worthless, i understand that that’s how the world works and I ought to adapt to my role and take it because nobody will stop for me
#‘u guys have seen how fast life can be taken from you’ well I hope it comes faster bc I have been praying for the end to come#for years yet nothing#I have not only been let down by this world#but I have been let down by God so many times it’s genuinely baffling#why can’t He just kill me already#I don’t even care anymore about the method#I don’t even care if it’s the most excruciatingly painful thing#if I get ripped in half or have my organs harvested or tortured for however many days#I think I just need to go and i need to go NOW.#practically the only real consistent wish I’ve had in my life is that I am to be something important to others#someone irreplaceable#but I am not even noticed much less replaced#and how a girl could yap on about her insecurity abt her bangs and within an hour she gets heaps of comments#yet for me ? when I write odes to death every other Tuesday it’s whoopsie who gives a fuck about her I hope she dies#that’s precisely how it looks like to me#I think everyone does wish death upon me for the simple fact that nobody asks#nobody cares and nobody tries to help#actions speak louder than words and everyone’s actions are very clear to me#clearly someone throwing a pity party over themselves for fucking bangs is definitely a cause for concern yes yes ! worthy of twenty notes#within the span of a single hour 🥺🥺🥺 but of course I don’t deserve shit so that’s why nobody gaf 🙂↕️#dora daily#my only request is for all to be blunt and clear that I am worthless in their eyes.at least my mum reminds me often.why can’t yall do the#same. at least she is honest and not mincing her words. listen I can handle much more than anyone thinks I’m not as sensitive as everyone#makes me out to be. so freaking tell me how horrible I am tell me that I am a chore to speak to that I am a burden and weigh u all down#and that I am some infinitely unimaginable list of negative attributes and that’s all I’ll ever amount to because I would send my dearest#thanks for you being so brave and saying it to my face. rather than being a coward and a fool for hiding behind flowery words and meaningles#nothings uttered just for filler. newsflash I can read intents and in between the lines well but I am not a mind reader nor does anything#imply that I can read minds. yes I can discern intents and the smallest signals but I CANNOT read minds#why you won’t catch me hold hope that anything I make will get hype so I won’t post it on this platform and if I do I won’t tag it#and why do people always get fed up or think I’m lying or smth when I insist I’m sick like wtf. or they act like I’m lying by embodying the
1 note
·
View note
Text
Dolly
pairing: hyunjin x afab!reader
synopsis: you feel lonely and buy a new sex doll on the market, not knowing what you got yourself into.
genre: smut, fluff, sci-fi
word count: 10.3k
warnings: alcohol, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), squirting, creampies
a/n: spooktober continues🤭🫶🏻 if u love black mirror, these are vibes for u! also i'm sorry if the ending seems rushed but i have two more things to write for hyunjin before i continue with my spooktober🫠
!!! this fic has an ambiguous ending
~ divider by @bunnysrph
~ Masterlist
Your cursor hovers over the 'continue to payment' button.
Are you really doing this?
It's embarassing enough that you can't get a date lately, and everyone around you keeps bugging you about it, asking when you're going to find a partner already.
Like you need one. You were perfectly fine alone.
But everyone has needs, and the ad for the new sex dolls that have just come out on the market looked enticing.
Each one of the new models was a unique one, only one of them made as it was sort of a trial run for them and your attention was captured by Hyunjin, the romantic doll.
It was expensive too, but you had money saved up on the side and thought, why not get something for your pleasure and try something new as well.
'Fuck it!', you thought and clicked on the button, purchasing the doll; there was no going back now.
Eagerly, you awaited the day it would be delivered to your door and three weeks later, there was a big box in the middle of your living room.
Biting on your lip, you stare at the box as your heartbeat quickens.
In the pictures, it looked so real. Like it was a real human being and to say you were a bit disturbed was an understatement.
But as freaky as it was, you were still so curios about it so you opened up the box slowly, your eyes wide for the peculiarity of it all. There were covers neatly placed over the doll, and bubble wrap just about everywhere, but on top of it all was a letter.
You opened it up and it read;
Hello,
my name is Hyunjin and I am your romantic doll.
I love art, good food and wine, long walks on the beach and heartwarming movies.
Please, treat me with great care as I am sensitive, and no matter what you do with me, always end it with cuddles.
Hope you come to love me as much as I already love you.
As you read that, you couldn't help being a little freaked out by the doll professing his love to you, but you had to remind yourself it's just the creators of it who wrote the letter, making the concept more real and human to give some kind of comfort to the buyer and personality to the doll.
Taking a deep breath, you remove all the bubble wrap and slide off the cover.
"Oh." you gasp loudly, your hand slapped on your mouth as you finally see the doll.
He looks too real to be just a doll and for a second you just stare into his eyes, unmoving but somehow warm, his facial features chiseled to perfection, his lips plump and inviting.
Your eyes travel down to see he was dressed in a nice button up, intricate flower patterns sewn into the material, coupled with nice pants and even some very expensive looking shoes.
The doll had jewelry on, his nails were painted, there was so much detail on it; he even had a mole under his eye. You marvelled at the dedication of the people who made it and obviously put a lot of though into Hyunjin.
You notice then that there is a note sticking out of the shirt's pocket and you carefully pick it up.
My love!
I got dressed for our first date!
Hopefully you like it and enjoy our first romantic night together.
"Wow, they really went all out with this." you say out loud as you look at the doll, the next question forming in your mind.
How heavy is the doll?
You spend a few more minutes just examining it with your eyes, too nervous to touch it and you can't get over the way it looks just like a real human being.
You rest your hand on the box, your fingertips gently grazing the doll's cheek.
"Oh!" you gasp, retracting your hand. It feels like real skin and with wide eyes your hand moves closer to his face again, your palm pressing slowly against his cheek.
"Are you alive?" you chuckle to yourself but the doll doesn't answer or move at all, just as you expected.
Your fingers slowly explore the doll's face, his lips are plushy and they seem actually kissable, the material they used, whatever it was, made it seem like they were real human lips.
You lean in closer to take a better look into his eyes, your hand coming up to play with locks of dark hair, which again, seems like real hair, the little curls are soft to the touch and bounce back as you pull on them gently.
Now you're leaning so close to him, and you can smell the nice, comforting scent radiating off of the doll. You've no idea what they used, but he smells fresh and flowery.
"Okay, let's get you out of the box." you lean back and hook your hands under the doll's arms before making it sit up.
His head falls to the side a little, making you feel a bit creeped out because it really seemed like you were handling a dead person instead of an actual doll, but the only indication that it wasn't a dead human is the lightness of it.
He wasn't as light as a feather but he wasn't as heavy as dead weight either.
"Maybe the couch?" you talk to yourself as you look over to your comfy couch, the pillows fluffed up already and a soft blanket thrown over it.
Somehow, thankfully to your regular exercise, you manage to lift the doll into your arms and carry him to the couch.
The way he slumps when you put him down, again freaks you out a little, but for some weird reason you're even more interested in how you can actually use the doll.
You prop him to sit nicely and turn on the tv to some art channel, remembering how the doll 'said' that he likes art.
"I hope that's what you enjoy." you shrug and throw the fluffy blanket over the doll's legs, folding his soft hands into his lap, before you go back to the box to find the manual.
"Here it is." you dig out the booklet and start reading.
They listed the materials but you still had no idea what they were so it flew over your head. There was also a page with pictures of the other dolls and the makers' letter to the customers, thanking them for purchasing the doll.
Flipping the pages, you find what you were looking for.
Your face becomes red as you read the doll's 'abilites', including that his thing can vibrate and cum, he reacts to your touch and that he has a usb charger that gets plugged into the back of his neck.
"W-wow." you nod to yourself as you keep reading until you flip to the last page.
WARNING!
If there are any malfunctions with any part of the doll, please contact our services.
The doll can bathe in water except the charger opening so be aware of that.
Please do not disfigure or mutilate the doll.
Do not throw the doll into the trash.
Do not break, bruise or cut the doll.
If you're not satisfied, you can always return it to us and get your money back.
If you've purchased our Hyunjin doll, do not be too harsh on him considering he's sensitive.
Hope you enjoy the romantic soul you chose!
Bruise? The doll can bruise?
Why are they talking about it like it's alive?
You gulp and turn to look at the couch but the doll is unmoving, turned towards the tv, same position as before.
You peek back into the big box to find another, smaller box inside it, that was beneath the doll's feet earlier.
You carefully take it out, putting it on the floor and opening it curiously.
Inside, you found a change of clothes, more casual looking ones and something to be used as sleep wear. It was like getting a Barbie doll with all her outfits when you were a kid.
So bizzare, yet it made you feel excited in a way.
After getting up, you decide to clean up the mess you made with the bubble wrap and put the box away in your closet, just in case, if you ever wanted to return him.
"Okay." you nod and come back to peek at the doll.
The television screen reflects in his eyes, his hands crossed in his lap, just how you left him and relief washes over you.
Why are you even scared?
You shake your head and decide to prepare lunch.
You're in your kitchen, listening to some slow music as you cook, completely forgetting about the doll sitting in your living room.
That is, until the volume of the tv suddenly increases making you jolt and gasp.
Your back straightens as you turn off the stove.
Slowly turning around, you stare at the direction the sound is coming from.
You swallow and make your way to your couch, you don't know what to expect but the doll is still in the same position you left it, the tv remote is out of his reach, down on the coffee table.
You grab it and decrease the volume before looking back at the doll.
"If that wasn't you, we have ghosts in this apartment. But if it was you, you're obviously wanting my attention." you cross your arms as you stare at him.
Nothing.
"Fine, I will eat lunch with you." you declare before going back to the kitchen to get yourself food.
You mostly eat in front of your tv anyways, not caring about any rules since you live alone, enjoying the freedom it brings you.
Settling down next to Hyunjin, you pull the blanket over your legs too and start eating.
You chuckle to yourself, if someone saw you right now, they'd think you're absolutely insane, sitting down next to an inanimate doll that looks eerily human.
You take a peek at Hyunjin, sighing as he sits still.
"You do look alive. But I'm literally talking to myself." you say and of course get no answer.
Shrugging, you continue about your day, washing dishes and doing laundry, enjoying your selfcare routine after getting your apartment in order, your Hyunjin doll observing your movements from the couch.
In the evening hours, you finally come back to him.
"Are you tired of being in the same position?" you ask, knowing there will be no answer.
"We can have dinner now." you add and leave to the kitchen to bring out some food and a bottle of wine.
"This is insane. Top 5 weirdest things I've done." you talk to yourself as you look down at your black satin nightgown, with lace details on the top, perfectly resting on your chest. "Maybe it even takes up the first place."
You settle next to Hyunjin once again, changing his position a little as you fill up two glasses of wine.
"Our first date, I guess?" you sigh with a chuckle before drinking the wine.
His glass stands full on the coffee table, untouched as you start eating next to him once again.
"I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. I work in an office. I hate my job but it pays the bills." you say, "I always wanted to be in a band though. Played guitar in high school. Never got too far with that. I love art too, you know, any shape or form of it. Maybe that's why I chose you. You seem like an artist. Or you would be if you were real, ha." you chuckle, yapping away as you keep drinking the wine, the doll listening to you without moving.
You keep pouring the wine into both his and your glass but it's only you drinking from both glasses.
It gives you a nice buzz, warmness that spreads through your body and manifests itself between your legs.
Usually, you'd play with your vibrator or dildo but seeing as you got a literal sex doll, you thought you should use him for the purpose he's made for.
"Now, what do I do with you?" you smirk, your hand coming up to play with the doll's hair, twirling the lock in your fingers.
"I mean, I can do anything I want." you nod, scooting closer to the doll.
"I feel fucking crazy." you laugh, pulling the covers off of Hyunjin.
Your hand is pressed on his thigh as you touch him gently through his clothes, your mind still marvelling at the fact that he feels like a real human being.
"I'm curious." you whisper, your fingertip playing with the button of his shirt, wanting to see what he looks like underneath the nice clothes they made him wear.
Slowly, you start unbuttoning the doll, taking your time with it, as anticipation builds up, creating a swirl of excitement inside you.
When you pop open the last button, you open up the shirt and gasp.
"Wow." you lick your lips at the sight, the doll's nipples look aroused, his stomach is toned, it looks like there's a vein leading down into his pants making your eyes fall down at his crotch.
You still have no idea how they made him look so real but you're eager to explore, planting your hands on his chest, running them up and down to his stomach, tracing the vein with your fingertips.
You run your hands back up to his nipples and flick them gently with your thumb before pinching them experimentally.
Gasping, you notice a growing bulge in the doll's pants.
"Am I pushing the right buttons?" you chuckle at your own joke as you continue playing with his nipples.
Your impatience however doesn't let you stall for too long, so your hands make their way down to the hem of his pants.
"Let's see." with a smirk you unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them down with a little struggle as you have to lift him up a little.
You place your hands on his thighs, squeezing the flesh a little, watching as his cock twitches like he was really alive.
"You really do react to touch." you gasp in wonder, what kind of technology was this?
They even put underwear on him which you think is a nice touch but at this point, you were too curious not to slide them off immediately.
"Woah!" you gasp as his cock springs free of its confines.
You think it's the biggest and most beautiful cock you've ever seen, framed by a neatly cut bush, a visible vein running up the whole length.
You stare at it for a little while before you wrap your hand around it, your other hand fondling his balls.
It feels real once again, like he's throbbing and twitching, hot and heavy on your palm, a bead of precum at the tip.
"What in the hell?" you mumble, your finger swiping at the tip as you gather the liquid and bring it to your lips.
You suck your finger into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and tasting the sweetness of the doll.
How he tasted so sweet was beyond you.
"Fuck it." you chuckle, pulling off your nightgown and tossing it aside, which leaves you completely naked like the doll is.
"I didn't even kiss you. Not very romantic of me." you smirk as you throw your leg over Hyunjin, sitting in his lap, your wet folds pressed against his cock.
You lean in and press a kiss to his lips, and of course the doll doesn't kiss back but his lips move with your movement and it feels good as you grind on his hard length.
"Look at you. Letting me do all the work like all the rest of them." you scoff with a smirk and at that, the doll's cock twitches a little too hard against you, almost pushing inside you.
"Wow. Someone's excited." you stare at the doll's eyes but there is nothing in there to indicate that he was in fact listening to you.
"For how much you cost, I hope this is worth it." you shrug and grip the base of his cock, guiding it inside you.
Sitting down on his length has you gasping as he fills you up perfectly, like his cock was made exactly for your pussy to take.
Your grip the doll's shoulders and use it for what you intended to when you clicked on that purchase button.
No matter how turned on you are though, staring at Hyunjin's almost expressionless face proves to be a turn off so you lean forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you press your chest to his and continue bouncing on him.
Save for the fact that his hands lay limp on the side, his skin feels human and he feels kind of warm, like there was something inside the doll, warming it up.
"F-fuck." you whimper as the head of his cock brushes against the spongy spot inside you, it's like the more wet you get and the harder you fuck on him, his cock responds to you.
"R-right hand for activation." you repeat the instruction from the manual, as you blindly search for his right hand, sliding your fingertips on his wrist to his palm, your head leaned on his shoulder as you slowly gyrate your hips.
Your fingers interlace with his and it feels almost like Hyunjin grips your hand back, making you jump a little but before you can move away, his cock starts vibrating inside you.
"A-ah!" you moan loudly as your other arm curls around him, holding onto him while you fiddle with his fingers, your legs clamping around him as you start falling apart.
"G-gonna cum!" you whimper, burying your face in Hyunjin's neck and he smells so nice, feels so good as his cock keeps vibrating against your spot, bringing you to your high quickly.
The ecstasy you feel as the vibrations persist, prolonging your orgasm, overstimulating you while you ride the feeling makes you miss the single blink that Hyunjin's eyes make before returning to their original glassy and unmoving state.
"Too much." you whimper, squeezing his thumb and the vibrations stop.
You know that the left hand brings a happy end to the doll but you're not sure if you're done with it yet.
Leaning back to finally look at his face has you a little disappointed as you don't notice any kind of change on his face.
"Kinda wish you were real." you whisper, hugging the doll as you start bouncing on his hard cock again, bringing yourself easily to another orgasm.
You squeeze the doll's left hand after that, and feel spurts of warm cum shooting inside you as his cock twitches, the head bruising against your spot violently as he fills you up with copious amounts of the sticky substance.
You're pretty sure the neighbors can hear you moan as you cum again, the feeling of being filled up to the brim satisfies you and has your eyes rolling in the back of your head.
"Wow." you breathe hard, your cheek leaned on Hyunjin's shoulder as you grip his wrists while you come down.
You lean back to look at the doll again.
Were his lips slightly upturned before?
In the fogginess of your orgasms, you couldn't tell or think straight.
"Be right back." you slide off of him and make your way to the bathroom, taking a quick five minute shower before you grab a wet cloth to clean the doll up.
He sits how you left him, and you kneel between his legs to clean him up carefully.
His cock is not completely soft nor hard anymore, it's somewhere in the middle, but as you touch it gently, it seems to react and twitch again.
"You came already." you smirk and experimentally pinch the tip of Hyunjin's cock, but nothing happens except the member twitching again.
You stand up with a sigh, covering him with the blanket again before you leave for the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Just as you turn on the water to wash your mouth out, you hear something akin to a sigh coming from your living room.
You freeze, turning off the water and listening closely but you only hear the quiet buzz of the lamp above your mirror.
Maybe you were just imagining things.
You shake your head and finish your business before going back to Hyunjin.
"I'm too tired to dress you now, but boxers should be enough." you say and struggle to get him dressed, almost giving up during the process.
"I should just keep you naked in my bed to avoid the hassle." you say, lifting him up and carrying him to your bed.
"Cuddles, right? I do love me some cuddles too." you say with a tired smile as you adjust Hyunjin in your bed.
You join him under the covers and lean on your elbow as you lay sideways, staring down at him.
"How'd they make you look and feel so real?" your hand is on his cheek, and you trace his eyebrows, his nose and lips.
Fingertips travel to his ears, down to his neck and his chest.
"Don't come alive and scare me while I'm sleeping, Hyunjin." a shadow passes in his eyes as you say his name but you're too busy caressing his toned stomach to notice.
"Night." you kiss his lips before turning off the lamp and laying your head on his shoulder.
Somehow, you adjust his arms so that it seems like he's holding you and you throw your leg over his, your hand tracing patterns on his chest and side.
It was like hugging and kissing your pillow in high school, except this one took the shape of a human being.
With thoughts and questions about Hyunjin swimming in your head, you fall asleep quickly, not noticing how the doll's arms tighten around you ever so slightly.
Early in the morning as your alarm starts blaring loudly and annoyingly, you groan and stir, almost forgetting about Hyunjin being next to you.
"Oh!" you gasp. "Good morning, dolly." you say after turning the alarm off, as he stares at the ceiling.
"Sadly, I gotta go to work and leave you here alone. You better behave while I'm out." you lift a finger up menacingly, but there's a playful smile on your face.
"Man, I'm crazy." you shake your head before leaning in to leave a nice, wet smooch on Hyunjin's cheek.
"I'll come say bye before I leave."
And you do so, after eating breakfast and getting ready, you're back in your room.
"Should I put you in the living room so you can watch tv?"
The doll never answers.
"Maybe, yeah. You'll be bored lying in bed all day." you nod and carry Hyunjin to your couch.
You make him comfy, cover him with the blanket, card your fingers through his messy hair and then turn on the tv, leaving the remote in his lap.
"Gonna be late because of you." you sigh and lean down to place a kiss on the doll's lips.
"Be a good doll."
And with that you finally leave your apartment.
All day at work, you can't help but wonder if your Hyunjin doll somehow came alive, and for some reason you were looking forward to seeing him even if he didn't.
"What's got you so happy? Finally got laid?" your coworker chuckles as you stand in the office kitchen making yourself some coffee, you know she always gossips about you behind your back so you don't wanna give her the time of the day.
"Mind your business, Amanda." you answer quickly, turning to leave back to your office.
"Okay, you didn't then." she calls behind you with a giggle but you decide to ignore her.
"Fucking bitch." you mutter to yourself as you close the door.
The rest of the day goes by uneventfully and you can't wait to drive back home to Hyunjin.
"I'm home!" you yell out as soon as you step inside, hearing that the tv is still on, nothing out of the ordinary.
You make your way to your living room to find Hyunjin in the exact same position as you left him almost 9 hours ago, the remote still next to his right hand, the same channel you turned on this morning on the tv.
For some reason, your shoulders slump.
"Well, I guess you've been a good doll and took my warning literally." you shrug a little.
"Still, I want to reward you. As soon as I eat and take a nap that is." you add and go about your routine, eating lunch, taking a shower and of course changing into your comfy clothes, which at this time of the year consisted of an oversized t-shirt and panties.
"Let's take a nap together, dolly." you say to Hyunjin as you lift him up and move him to your bed again.
You lay him on his side, then mirror his position, taking his arm and wrapping it around your waist, the other comfortably under your neck.
Tracing patterns on his stomach and chest again, you start talking.
"Your life is so easy. From the couch to the bed, you don't even have to work or go anywhere. Meanwhile, I have to endure fucking Amanda every day at work. Do you have any idea how bitchy that woman is?", you talk as you cuddle your doll. "She has to know eeeeverything about eeeeeveryone. Soon, she'll crawl up my ass just to look at my insides."
You look at Hyunjin's face and for a moment it seems as if his eyes moved.
"Are you listening to me, perhaps?" you whisper, your hand on his cheek. "I know I'm probably crazy. But I'm glad I got you. Even though you're a bit creepy, you bring me comfort." you add, tucking your head into his neck.
"I'm gonna sleep now."
Slowly blinking your eyes awake, you feel warmness enveloping you that's not coming just from your blanket but from Hyunjin.
Quickly, you realize that somehow his thigh ended up pressed against your core, your leg thrown over him as you scooted closer to him in sleep.
"Oh." a little sound escapes your lips as you grind against his warm thigh, feeling wetness on your panties.
Before looking up at him, you press a kiss to his collarbone and it seems like his thigh moves against you once, making you jolt.
"Hey." you look up at him, but his eyes are unmoving as always.
You observe his face but the throbbing between your legs makes you grind against him again.
"F-feels good." you whimper, leaning in and kissing him, letting your tongue dart out and lick at the plump lips.
You feel his erection press against your other thigh, the one flush against him and you chuckle a little.
"Someone likes me a lot." you say, leaning back to look at him.
It looks like there's a small smile on his face that you swear wasn't there before.
"Hm." you squint your eyes as you stop your movements.
"Gotta try something." you declare after a moment of silence, lifting up and removing the blanket.
You push Hyunjin on his back, hooking your fingers in his boxers and pulling them off of him.
"Aw, you really do like me a lot." you smirk at the sight of the doll's cock, twitching and leaking again like it did yesterday.
"I'll give you some attention, you deserved it."
You spread his legs, adjusting them so you can kneel between his thighs and you lean down.
"I haven't done this in a while. You can't complain though." you chuckle a little as you grip his cock and let your tongue dart out, catching the sweet tasting precum with it.
You don't understand how he tastes so sweet, it's hard to put your finger on what exactly the taste is but it makes you want more so you swirl your tongue around his head, your moans muffled as you swallow the sweet liquid.
"Mm. Fuck you taste good." you whine and put your lips around him again, slowly taking more of him in as you bob your head up and down.
Sucking cock like that is not your favorite thing to do, sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable but having Hyunjin be so still and so tasty has your arousal pooling on your panties and you keep wanting more.
You take as much as you can, coating his cock in your saliva, your tongue pressing along his vein as you fondle his balls has him twitching inside you.
You smirk and grip his left hand, spurts of hot cum hitting your throat and it tastes even sweeter than before as you whimper and swallow everything.
"Damn hot." you whine, quickly getting rid of your shirt and panties, before you take his now completely wet cock in your hand and start jerking him off to make him hard for you again.
It doesn't take long to excite the doll and you decide to turn your back to him and fuck on his cock like that so that you don't have to look into his lifeless eyes while pleasing yourself.
You sit on him and push his cock inside yourself, your warm cunt engulfing his entire length easily.
"Mm." you gyrate your hips as you close your eyes and enjoy teasing yourself, your wet pussy coating his navel and balls.
"God, you're perfect Hyunjin." you whine and start fucking on him.
In the deep throes of passion as you bounce on him, your nails digging into his thighs for support, your eyes closed in pure bliss, you don't notice anything.
You don't notice Hyunjin blinking, his lips opening to speak but nothing comes out.
He can't move no matter how hard he tries and once again his eyes go back to the glassy state they're always in.
"Gonna cum." you whine loudly, gripping his right hand and he starts vibrating inside you, pushing you over the edge and making you scream as you squirt all over him.
"Fuck." you whine as your eyes focus, noticing you have left red marks in his thighs.
"Oh. Did I hurt you?" you gasp, your fingertips gently running over the marks.
"Didn't mean to." you look back at him but he lays still.
His cock twitches inside you and you grip his left hand, making the doll fill you up as you slowly ride him.
You lift up slowly, his cum sliding down your inner thigh together with your release.
"Made a mess of you, dolly." you look at the state of him.
"Maybe a bath?" he doesn't answer but still you prepare a bath and place him in it, careful of the usb opening on his neck.
You get inside after him, settling between his legs and leaning your back on his chest.
"Why are you so warm, Hyunjin?" you caress his arm as you hold it, his other one thrown over your stomach.
Sighing, you lean on his shoulder and close your eyes, trying to relax in the warm water, as Hyunjin 'held' you.
You still couldn't understand how they made him, but you were willing not to think about that, as he brought you a kind of comfort you didn't expect, making you wanna indulge in that feeling for as long as you could.
It's been exactly two months since you've gotten your Hyunjin doll, and ever since then you've loved spending every day with him.
You talked to him like he was alive, you watched movies with him, you read him books, you slept next to him every single night, you brought him to the kitchen so he can watch you cook, you even took him on late night drives sometimes, feeling bad that he was locked up in the apartment all day.
Sometimes, you thought you saw a flicker in his eyes, a slight smile on his face, or his fingers twitching against his thighs.
Some nights, while you're half asleep, you could swear that he tightened his hold on you or his chest lifted up and down like he was breathing.
Some days, as you'd come home from work you found him in a slightly different position than you left him.
One time, you sat him next to the window so you could watch rain together, and when you came back from making some tea, there was a heart shape in the fog on the glass.
"Did you do this dolly?" you caress his hair and look at him closely but he doesn't react.
You sigh, tracing another heart next to the first one before you sit in his lap, bringing the warm cup to your lips and observing him.
You thought you were going crazy in the beginning but as time passed by, you were becoming sure that there was more to Hyunjin than you initially knew.
"Just say something if you can hear me. Or squeeze my hand." you try for the nth time as you sit on your couch with Hyunjin but nothing happens.
"Fine." you huff. "Maybe you want something first. What would you like? I bought you new clothes. Maybe you want something else like... like something to do with art? We can paint together, if you'd like."
Hyunjin doesn't answer.
Nevertheless, you bring your art supplies and a bottle of wine.
You make yourself comfortable on the floor, next to Hyunjin's legs as he sits on the couch.
You end up being the one painting and drinking, Hyunjin's eyes move to look down at you, the look in his eyes softens, unlike the glassy one he always has.
He wants to talk, he wants to lean over and caress your hair, he wants to taste the wine off of your lips and feel the paintbrush between his fingertips.
But he can't. His eyes become glassy again as your phone rings, jolting you out of your peaceful activity.
It's your mother.
The conversation starts as always and it escalates into a fight of when are you settling down, why aren't you married, why are you closing yourself off, why are you such a failure?
As soon as you hang up a sob escapes your lips and you fall into Hyunjin, seeking comfort as you wrap your limbs around him, your face buried in his neck and your hot tears sliding down from your cheeks to his shirt, soaking it up.
"No one would understand." you cry. "They'd say I'm crazy and maybe I am. But I don't give a fuck."
Your body trembles against Hyunjin as you hiccup and sniffle, your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, your leg thrown over his thighs.
His body seems warmer than before and you squeeze him a little.
"Maybe I'm fucking crazy for loving a doll. But I love you Hyunjin." you sigh, closing your eyes as you lean against him.
His eyelids flutter a few times. He blinks.
A deep breath through his nose and you almost miss the way his chest moves up.
You place your hand on his chest, and feel it.
A heart beat slowly forming, at first almost too slow to be normal until it becomes steady and then speeds up.
He's breathing, his lips are dry as he licks at them, his hands clutch onto you and you scream.
You jump up quickly, your eyes wide as you look at him.
Hyunjin looks back up at you, his eyes wide and filled with fear and shock, mirroring yours.
He opens his mouth and a series of coughs escape his lips.
"Wh- How? Am I hallucinating?"
"Y- y/n." is the first thing he says, weakly and quietly as he reaches out for you.
You stay still as a statue, not sure what the hell is happening before your eyes.
"P-please, don't be scared." he begs as he tries to get up but his legs give out and he falls to the floor with a thud.
"Ugh." he whimpers, his hands grabbing at the coffee table.
You're slow to react to him falling from the shock of it all, making your way back to him cautiously.
"Did you hurt yourself?" you ask quietly.
"N-no, I don't think so." he says as he looks up at you.
"Who- who are you?" you don't know what else to ask, because the doll you used and played with was now a human with a heartbeat and he was looking at you, even knew your name.
"What do you mean? I'm- I'm Hyunjin, your romantic doll." he answers like it's the most normal thing ever.
"How are you alive? Why now all of a sudden? I don't get it." you say as he sits back on his legs.
"You... You love me. Your love brought me to life." he swallows, his cheeks rosy.
"Oh... There was nothing about this in the manual." The fucking manual. The doll's actual purpose. Everything you ever did to him. Embarassment washes over you and you feel absolutely mortified.
"Do you... did you hear me all this time? And um, see and feel what I was doing?"
"Y-yeah." he nods, his cheeks becoming even more red.
"Fucking hell." you whine, covering your face with your hands as you sit on the couch.
"Hey, it's okay. I- I was made for that." he says, his hand on your knee in an attempt to comfort you.
You peek at him through your fingers.
"And you were so nice to me. So... warm and loving. You made me feel so good. You never mistreated me even when you knew very well you could do whatever you want with me. I'm thankful for that. And I- I love you too, y/n." Hyunjin talks, his thumb gently caressing your skin.
"Are you programmed to say stuff like that? Are you a robot?"
He chuckles.
"I'm not programmed and I'm not a robot. Didn't you feel my heart beating?"
"I did but... I don't understand. How were you made?" you finally remove your hands from your face.
"I don't know. I wish I could answer your questions but I'm as clueless as you are. I just know I was conscious the whole time while I was with you but I couldn't speak or move. Like I was paralyzed. It was horrible. I tried giving you signs, I tried to talk multiple times but it's like something would hold me back, like there was a wall and I couldn't break through."
"That does sound horrible. I'm sorry if I ever did something you wouldn't agree to." you say quietly, your face burning in embarassment.
"No, no, I liked everything you did." he says with a sheepish smile, averting his eyes. "Wish I could reciprocate." he looks up at you through his lashes.
You're biting on your lip nervously, his hand reaches for you and you accidentally snatch yours away, not used to your doll talking to you and trying to touch you.
"A-are you gonna abandon me now?" he asks quietly as he eyes your hand.
"What?" you look back at him to see that his eyes are watery and you gasp. "No, of course not! I always wished you'd come to life. Didn't think it would actually happen so I'm still processing and hoping that I'm not dreaming."
"Oh, thank god." he exhales and you let him grab your hand. "I- uhm... I'm very hungry and thirsty. Could you help me with that?"
"Oh! Of course! I will make some dinner for us." you say and help him sit up on the couch, noticing that now he's heavier than he used to be.
"I guess I still need to get feeling in my legs and arms." he says as you bring him a glass of water.
"Mhm, probably you need to have blood pumping properly through your body. Don't worry." you pet his hair as he drinks and he looks at you.
"Here, you'll be warm like this." you wrap him up in your fluffy blanket and notice a change on the back of his neck.
"Oh!" you exclaim, your fingertips touching the skin there, making Hyunjin shiver a little.
"The usb opening is gone." you declare and he brings his hand to touch it, your fingertips grazing against each other.
"That's weird." he says absentmindedly.
"All of this is weird." you chuckle and he chuckles with you, making you look at him.
God, he's even more beautiful with a smile gracing his face, you think to yourself.
Without thinking your hands gently cup his cheeks.
"You're really alive." you whisper, your thumbs gently stroking his face, his eyes flutter as he pushes into your hands.
"I am. Does that make you happy?" he asks with a sparkle in his eyes.
"Very happy." you nod with a smile, leaning closer to him.
"Good. I want to make you happy. When you're happy, I'm happy too."
"Hyunjinnie." you whine against his lips and kiss him gently.
Having him kiss back as he clutches at your shirt is the sweetest thing ever, you think as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.
"Okay, I don't want you to starve now that you came to life." you lean back with a chuckle as he chases your lips.
"Yeah, please, I need food." he nods and you make your way to the kitchen, whipping up a quick dinner, checking constantly if he's okay.
You bring two plates as soon as you're done and Hyunjin's eyes seem to get bigger as soon as they land on the food.
"Be careful, it's still hot." you warn him.
"Okay." Hyunjin nods.
He eats happily, asking for more which you of course bring to him.
"Are you feeling better?" you ask when the two of you finish eating.
"Yes, much better. But I feel very tired now."
"You need sleep. Let's go to bed. Do you think you can walk now?"
"I think so." you grab his arm and help him become steady on his feet.
You lead him to the bathroom and he looks at you.
"Now that you're alive, you need to brush your teeth and wash up before bed."
"Right." he nods.
After a whole ordeal of getting ready, you finally plop down under the covers.
"Can I- Can I hold you?" Hyunjin asks sweetly and you chuckle, rolling your body into his.
"Of course."
"Always wanted to do that." his limbs wrap around you as he holds you tightly, your face buried in his chest.
"Good night, Hyunjin. Please be there when I wake up." you nuzzle into him, inhaling the familiar fresh and flowery scent of him.
"I promise I will. Good night, y/n."
It wasn't a dream.
Your eyes flutter open and Hyunjin smiles at you fondly, his hand gently caressing your cheek.
"Morning, dol- Hyunjin."
"You can call me dolly if that's what you like." he smirks and you chuckle.
"Eh, well you're human now. It feels like I'm degrading you." you gently touch his chest.
"I don't mind." he shifts and you feel his erection press against your thigh.
You gasp a little, your core throbbing with want.
"I'm sorry." his face is red instantly. "It's just- when you touch me... I can't help it."
"It's okay, Hyunjinnie." you slide your hand down to cup him through his boxers.
He whimpers, leaning into you, his eyes fluttering shut and you press your lips on his in a heated kiss.
His tongue licks at your lower lip and you let him in, eager to finally feel his kisses how you craved to.
Hyunjin kisses you messily and hungrily, grinding into your hand, grunting against your lips.
As soon as you slide off his boxers, automatically your hands lift up to push him on his back but he grabs your wrists gently to stop you.
"My sweet girl, let me take care of you how you deserve now that I'm able to." he rasps, his eyes hooded as he looks at you with lust.
"O-okay." you whisper and lay down on your back, letting Hyunjin slide your panties off as you pull off your shirt and toss it somewhere aside.
"I've spent so much time receiving. I want to give, my angel. My hands hurt when I couldn't touch you and make you feel good. That's all I want to do." he sounds desperate as his lips attach to your neck, leaving wet kisses on your skin, his hands roaming on your body and settling on your breasts.
"Mm, make me feel good, Jinnie." you whimper as he squeezes your breasts, massaging them and moaning against your skin like it was more pleasurable to him than to you.
He mumbles sweet praises as he leaves more kisses that lead to your nipple, his tongue darting out to swirl around it, making you arch into him.
His eyes are dark as he wraps his lips around it and starts sucking, his other hand sliding down to grip your inner thigh.
Fingertips ghost on your skin, both his hands now spreading your legs apart.
"Do you know how much I longed to taste your sweet nectar? Will you let me drink from you, my angel?" Hyunjin asks, his finger gently pressing into your clit, circling it.
"Yes, please, oh my god." you whimper, your hips lifting up into his touch.
He smirks, trailing kisses down to your core.
He stops for a moment to admire you and you don't even have time to feel self-conscious as he spreads your pussy lips apart and leans in to stick his tongue inside you.
"F-fuck!" you jolt as he starts moving it before he leans back a little and licks at your sensitive clit.
"Taste even sweeter than I imagined." he moans, his lips wrapping around your clit as he sucks on it, his thumbs gently caressing your pussy lips.
"H-H-Hyunjin!" you whimper as he sucks harder, your hips lifting up in pleasure.
"Could be here for hours. Eating this sweet pussy out." he moans, pushing his tongue inside you again, this time fucking you faster, his nose giving the perfect pressure on your sensitive nub and driving you crazy.
Your hand grips his hair, pushing him more into you as he skilfully moves his tongue, his lips pressing into your lower ones as he makes out with you.
Your orgasm washes over you quickly, coating Hyunjin's face and he laps it all up greedily, his eyes shut as he whimpers into you, sending vibrations right into your core.
You feel crazy with desire the more he continues eating you out like a man starved and you have to grip his hair and pull him away after he gives you two more orgasms.
"H-Hyune, please, I need your cock." you whimper, feeling like you're falling apart.
He licks at his red lips, his eyes crazed with lust he feels for you.
"Anything my angel needs." his voice is husky as he leans over you, the tip of his cock pressed against your wet, messy cunt.
He pushes in with ease, after all, you've been fucking on him for the last two months, your pussy was used to the stretch.
"Mm, Hyunjin!" that doesn't make it feel less pleasurable when he fills you up, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix.
"Move, please." you whimper, already feeling out of it.
Hyunjin grips your thighs and starts fucking you at a steady pace, his cock dragging against your walls deliciously, sliding easily through your wetness.
"Feel so good. So warm. Just for me." he whimpers, his eyes fluttering shut before they open again and look down where his cock disappears inside you.
"Just for you, Jinnie." you moan and he looks up at you, a smile on his face.
He leans closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and in turn you wrap yours around his shoulders, bringing your bodies flush together as he buries himself deep inside your heat.
He ruts into you desperately, your lips meeting in messy kisses, spit dribbles down your chin and he licks at it, kissing your jaw and your neck wetly.
"P-please tell me you love me." he whimpers in your ear, holding you tightly as he fucks you harder, only taking a little bit of his length out and shoving it back in with force that has your mind spinning.
"I love you, Hyunjin. I love you. So much." you cry happy tears, making him cry too as you clutch onto each other.
"My angel, I love you more than anything." he says as he kisses you, his tongue playing with yours.
He brings you to another orgasm, his fingers on your nipples, pinching and pulling as he keeps rutting into you desperately.
"C-can I cum?" he whimpers, his hands gripping desperately at your waist.
"Yeah." you nod quickly and he gives you his left hand to squeeze and as your fingers entwine, he cums, filling you up endlessly, more than when he was just doll and you whimper as your legs clamp around him, lifting your middle into him and cumming with him again.
Both of you breathe hard as he stays inside you for a moment, before pulling out and watching his cum drip out of you.
"D-do I still have to squeeze your left hand for you to cum?" you chuckle a little.
"No, just... force of habit, I guess." he says sheepishly like he didn't just fuck your brains out.
"What about the vibrations?"
"You really liked that, didn't you?" he smirks, his hand sliding up your thigh tentatively, before his fingers slide between your folds, playing with the wetness.
"Shut up." you say embarassingly, swatting his hand away.
"Don't worry, I can vibrate if you want." he bites on his lip as he looks at you.
"I'm too sensitive now." you whisper and he chuckles.
"I know. Usually you don't go above four, five orgasms in one sitting. Maybe six if you're extra horny."
"It's embarassing to me that you know this in such detail." your face becomes red as Hyunjin chuckles, shaking his head.
"Nothing you should be embarassed about. I'm happy to please you." he says and leans down to kiss you gently.
You pull him into your embrace, hoping that from now on, he stays human, and keeps loving you because in this moment you can't imagine your life without Hyunjin in it.
"Thank you for letting me use your painting supplies." Hyunjin smiles up at you as he sits on the floor of your living room, like you always did when you painted.
"Don't thank me, Jinnie. What's mine is yours." you smile as you sit next to him and lean in closer.
"Let me see." you say as he looks down sheepishly.
He pushes the sketchbook towards you and you gasp.
"Hyunjin, this is amazing! How did you manage to paint so well?! And you painted me! That's so sweet."
"I- I don't know. As I started, it's like I got déjà vu, like I already did this before and many times so."
"Really? That's peculiar." you say.
"Maybe we should call the company I got you from." you add, tapping your chin.
"P-please don't!" Hyunjin panics, gripping at your thigh. "I'm scared. I don't know why but when I try to think of that place, it feels bad. Please don't call them. I don't want them to take me away from you."
"Hey, hey, it's okay. No one will take you away from me. I won't call them." you quickly grab his face to calm him down.
"You promise?" his pupils shake as he looks at you.
"I promise." you nod and kiss him sweetly to let him know he can trust you.
Hyunjin visibly relaxes with your touch, wrapping his arms around you and tucking his face in your neck.
"Um... could we go outside? We only ever went on night drives which is understandable but now that I can walk and stuff, we could go out on real dates and maybe visit museums?" he looks up at you with a smile.
"Of course! Anywhere you want to go." you smile back at him, and he leans up to kiss you.
For the next several weeks, you take Hyunjin everywhere.
To the park, the movies, museums, to a club, to different restaurants, to a mall, anything that comes to your mind, the two of you decide to visit, even going to a little town nearby for a day trip.
You don't remember the last time you were this happy and had someone next to you who made everything look so easy and sweet.
Hyunjin had taken an interest in capturing all the pretty moments so you got him a camera, deciding to surprise him for your 6 month anniversary.
As you came home from work, you called out to him but there was no answer.
"Jinnie? Are you sleeping?" you pushed the bedroom door open but the bed was vacant.
A heavy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as you searched your entire apartment and couldn't find him.
Frantically, you looked for him again, knowing that he didn't suddenly become Barbie sized and hid somewhere.
He was gone.
You ran out of your apartment to knock on your neighbor's door.
"Tony! Did you see Hyunjin today maybe?" you asked him as soon as he opened the door.
"No, I didn't, sorry." he shook his head.
You didn't know what to do so you went back to your apartment and burst into tears.
Hyunjin didn't have a phone you could contact him with as he never had the need to use one so you had no way of reaching him.
All you could do was sit and wait, biting your nails as every single scenario runs through your mind.
He will come back, you reassure yourself as you fall asleep from exhaustion.
And he does, around 10pm the door clicks open and you jolt up from your nap on the couch.
"Hyunjin?" you say into the dark space and he turns on the light, standing in the middle of your living room with two gift bags in his hand and an apologetic look on his face.
"Oh my god, Hyunjin!" you jump to your feet, running to him and throwing your arms around him, squeezing him tightly and almost knocking him down as the bags fall out of his hands and he wraps his arms around your waist.
"I'm so sorry, y/n. I should've left you a note. I-I went out to get a gift for our anniversary tommorow."
"Please, don't ever disappear like that again. Do you have any idea how scared I was?" you cry and Hyunjin gasps, his hands on your face as he wipes away your tears.
"I'm really sorry. I will never ever do something like this again." his eyes water too.
"I should get you a phone." you shake your head. "Hey, how did you even manage to buy a gift? You don't have any money." you chuckle, wiping at your cheeks.
"I went to the park and painted portraits of people for money, then got the gift."
"Oh, Jinnie, you sweet fool. Just don't give me any more scares."
"I promise I won't." he nods and your lips seal in a kiss.
Despite having so many options to choose from now, Hyunjin and you decide to have a nice dinner at home for your anniversary, where it all started.
You even took out the most expensive plates and silverware you owned, adding some candles to create a more intimate atmosphere, some light romantic music playing in the background.
"Y/n, I um- got you something I'd like to see you wear tonight for me."
"Oh, you did?" you smirk. "Show it to me."
Hyunjin grabs one of the gift bags and reaches it to you with an excited smile.
You chuckle and peek inside, seeing that he got you black and red lacy lingerie as well as a dress.
"Do you like it?" he asks.
"Very much so." you take out the dress and touch the silky material. "This dress is very revealing." you notice the opened back and the deep neck line that would definitely almost make your breasts fall out.
"I was counting on the fact that we celebrate here because you in that dress is for my eyes only." his eyes darken suddenly.
"Oh yeah? Let me get ready for our dinner then." you chuckle and make your way to the bathroom.
Hyunjin decides to wear the clothes he arrived in, since those were the only fancy clothing items he owned, and he thought it was kind of symbolic to put them on tonight.
You walk into your bedroom to find Hyunjin dressed and staring at the big box he was packed in, one you still didn't get rid of.
"Jinnie?" you call out as he seems to be deep in thought.
"You kept the box." he says, still looking at it.
"I did. I had no idea what I was getting into so I left it just in case. I was gonna throw it out, it's just really heavy." you explain, making your way to him.
"When you arrived, two men had to carry the box in, and somehow the box seemed heavier than you. I barely managed to get it into the closet. Had to push it and stuff. Sorry I didn't have the chance to get rid of it."
"It's okay, y/n. You don't have to apologize." he smiles as he turns towards you.
"Oh." a gasp leaves his lips as he sees you all dressed up for him.
"You like?" you smirk, winking at him.
"Mhm." he nods quickly. "You look stunning, my angel."
"Thank you, Jinnie. You look handsome."
His cheeks seem to become more red with the praise as he mutters, his eyes darting left and right.
You enjoy your dinner together, romantic music playing in the background, the tv mute, left on just from the habit of it.
After you finish eating, you migrate to the couch to cuddle and drink wine, some stupid show playing on the screen and the two of you jokingly read from the character's lips, making up nonsensical conversations and laughing.
After some time and some more wine, Hyunjin becomes even more handsy than usual, grabbing at your thighs, sliding his hands on the silky material of the dress.
You melt into him, kissing him as your arms wrap around his shoulders, your tongues languidly massaging each other as your core throbs with need.
Hyunjin caresses you gently, his hands worshipping you, sliding down your throat, to your collarbone, to the swell of your breasts, down to your stomach and waist, landing on your hips.
His lips attach to your neck as he leaves wet kisses on your skin, licking at it and sinking his teeth in.
"Mm." you moan, playing with his hair as he kisses your collarbone and the flesh of your breast, leaving another love bite on the soft skin.
His hands travel under your dress, roaming around on your legs and your eyes open, landing on the tv, making you gasp.
"Hyunjin, that's you!" you jolt, pointing at the screen.
"Huh?" he mumbles, already drunk on you.
You quickly grab the remote and turn on the sound.
"...seemingly the dolls have some kind of malfunction that the company does not wish to reveal to the public. All eight of the purchased dolls are required to be returned and the buyers will get their money back, guaranteed. The customers will be contacted accordingly..."
"M-my friends. I vaguely remember them." Hyunjin breathes quickly, you can see that he's getting upset quickly. "They wanna take me away from you."
"I won't let them." you quickly shake your head.
"What are we gonna do?" he asks, clenching his fists and you gently grab his hands, trying to soothe him.
"We're gonna... leave."
"Leave?"
"Yeah, I have a house my aunt left me up in the mountains. I don't think they can find us there. For now, until we think of where to go next." you start planning immediately.
There was no way you would let anyone take Hyunjin away from you.
"But, what about your job? And your things?" Hyunjin bites on his lip.
"I don't care. All I care about right now is making sure you're safe." you smile at him, your hand coming up to caress his cheek.
Hyunjin smiles, leaning into your touch and wrapping his arms around you.
"Thank you." he whispers into your hair.
You get a call from an unknown number the next day, but one quick google search tells you it's the company Hyunjin came from.
You packed one bag of a few essential things you'd need, leaving most of your belongings behind.
"Y/n! There's a black van posted outside. It's been there for hours. They're looking at the building right now." Hyunjin announces and you make your way to the window, half hiding behind him.
"We need to use the fire exit." you declare and Hyunjin nods as he turns to you.
"I won't let them take you. I promise." you hold his hands.
"I trust you, my angel." he smiles and you kiss him gently before the two of you exit the building, quickly entering your car.
You step on the gas, and reach out to hold Hyunjin's hand in yours.
As you speed off into the sunset, hoping for a better tomorrow, a black van rounds the corner, following you from afar...
✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @lixies-favorite-cookie
#stray kids x reader#stray kids#hyunjin x reader#stray kids smut#skz smut#skz x reader#hyunjin smut#skz scenarios#skz imagines#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin#hyunjin fluff#hwang hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin fluff#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin x you#hwang hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin#hwang hyunjin x y/n#hwang hyunjin x you#hyunjin skz#ozzy's spooktober
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE WOODS! — GETO SUGURU
KINKTOBER WEEK ONE
SYNOPSIS...walking home from a halloween party, you decided to take a shortcut, but an eerie feelings creeps up your spine and it feels like eyes are watching your every move
INFO...stalker!geto x fem!reader, for the sake of the story everything is consensual, a fantasy between geto and reader, stalking, groping, fingering, ripping clothes, sex in the woods, choking, hair pulling, oral (m!receiving), deep throating, rough, name calling, degradation, slapping, spanking, not proofread
OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated
kinktober 2024 masterlist
The wind howled in your ears and the moon was illuminating your every step home. You were cold, the costume that you had on was no help, shivering as you hugged yourself tightly. It was a stupid idea to go to a Halloween party without thinking of how you were going to get back home. Everyone was either drunk driving, or their cars were already filled with other passengers, and to put the cherry on top…your phone had died so you couldn’t call anyone to pick you up. You mentally cursed at yourself for staying so late in the first place, it had to be at least three in the morning. Everyone else was asleep and done with their trick or treating activities, lights off at every house in your sight.
“Fuck me,” you sighed, stopping when you came to a fork in the road. You took the left path knowing that it was a shortcut to your house and you didn’t plan on walking any longer than you needed to in these godforsaken heels. The wind brushed against your exposed skin, goosebumps climbing their way up your body. The further you stepped into the forest, darkness began to surround you. The large, twisted branches allowing very few rays of moonlight to shine through. Tall trees hovered over you, casting shadows. You’d be lying if you said this shortcut wasn’t one hundred times creepier at night compared to day.
Leaves rustled in the wind, branched snapped under your feet and you couldn’t help but look over your shoulder every five seconds to make sure no one was following you. It felt like eyes were watching your every movement, dark figures in the tree line stalking you like prey, waiting to pounce. “It’s all in your head,” you mumbled to yourself, walking faster. Though, your words were no help. Your eyes darted in every direction, barely paying attention to what was in front of you causing you to trip over a tree root sticking out. You fell to your knees, wincing in pain when you saw little blood droplet stain your stockings. “You gotta be kidding me,” you whined.
As you sat there on the floor trying to regain yourself, you heard a twig snap in the distance. With wide eyes, you got up as quickly as you could and looked around. “Hello?” You called out, your voice echoing through the forest. And just like that, you heard it again. Your feet moved before you could even think and you began to run as fast as you could in the shoes you were wearing. It would be better to take them off but you couldn’t stop now.
Your breathing quickened with each passing second and just a few feet behind you, you could hear footsteps. Fear struck your heart and you could only focus on the clearing up ahead. You weren’t sure if you were imagining it or if it was some animal, but you weren’t going to stop and check. Something didn’t feel right and that’s all you needed to know to get your ass out of here. The clearing was only so close now and your chest burned from the cold air that filled your lungs. Your heartbeat thumped loudly in your ears and the pain from your busted knee dissipated from the adrenaline rushing through you.
The streetlights came into view and just before you could make it, you felt a hard tug on your dress, a rough hand pulling you back into the darkness and covering your mouth as you screamed into it, squirming around in his tight grip. Each kick and punch to his body didn’t do a thing and the clearing soon began to grow smaller. “Shh, shh, shh.” His breath tickled your ear. “Don’t be scared,” he whispered. He pushed you up against a tree, slowly appearing in your view. You couldn’t quite make out his face, but his tall silhouette, muscular frame, and long dark hair was quite obvious. “Promise me you won’t scream? If you do, you’ll be in big trouble.”
Your entire body was shaking, weak. You had no idea what was going to happen. You didn’t know if he had a weapon, but you didn’t want to find out the hard way. He slowly removed his from your mouth, and let out a chuckle with how hard you were breathing. “Please don’t hurt me,” you sniffled, tears pouring from your eyes. You felt your body was glued to the tree, any sudden movement would make you drop. “What do you want? I don’t have any money…here,” you handed him your phone, “take it, it’s all I have.” More tears streamed down your face.
He looked at your phone with disinterest before looking back up at you. “Don’t you recognize me?” He questioned. You meekly shook your head no. “I guess I did a good job then,” he laughed. “I thought you noticed me but I guess not.” He brushed his hand against your cheek, wiping away your tears. “I was watching you the whole night. Watching you get drunk, dance with your friends, kiss random strangers, and I kept thinking how pretty you were. Ever since you walked in that door.” He gripped your chin tightly, leaning in closely in the crook of your neck.
You whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as he smelled you. “Please, let me go. I’ll do anything.” You weren’t sure if negotiating with him was going to work, but you were willing to do anything in order to just go home. But, he completely ignored you and continued rubbing up on you. His hands roamed freely, down your stomach and back, up to your tits where he gave them a squeeze. It wasn’t until he moved away from you that you saw some of his features. His chiseled face, and dark, narrow eyes, his slightly tan skin, and plump lips. His hair flowed with the wind, the leaves falling from above.
Within a split second, he pushed his lips onto yours, roughly kissing you, his tongue forcefully pushing inside your mouth. His hand wrapped around your throat, pinning you to the tree while his other hand reached under your dress to rub your cunt through your stocking and panties. You whimpered into the kiss, pulling away to catch your breath. “These are in the fucking way,” he grunted, ripping your tights with one hand. He pushed your panties to the side, smirking as he ran his finger up and down your slit. A small gasp left his lips when he could feel your juices coat his finger. “You’re wet. This turn you on? Being chased and caught in the woods so some stalker could fuck you?” His slipped his finger inside, watching the way your jaw fell open.
“You’re just as sick as I imagined,” he let out a deep chuckle, curling his finger inside of you before adding another. He still had you pinned against the tree with your legs spread, your dress bunched up at your waist while he thrusted his long, thick fingers inside of you. “You’re sucking my fingers right in.” A smirk formed at the corner of his lips, your pussy squelching the faster he went, your juices dripping down his fingers.
A small whine escaped your throat looking at the man in front of you. You weren’t sure whether to be scared or turned on. Maybe you were both. Was it wise to entertain this? That question ran through your head over and over. He leaned back towards your lips, hungry for another kiss, swallowing your moans and whimpers. Without thinking, your arms wrapped around him as your legs grew weak, nearly falling from how good his fingers felt inside of you.
His dick strains against his slacks, damn near painful from how hard he was. “Get on the fucking floor.” He slips his fingers out from inside you, pushing you down to your knees and against the tree. You look up at him confused before he sticks his fingers in your mouth, making you taste yourself on your fingers. He’s quick to undo his belt, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. Your eyes widen as his dick springs out, swollen red tip, and pulsating veins on either side of his shaft. Precum drips from the tip and he smears it over his cock, slowly jerking himself off to the sight of you sucking his fingers.
“Stick out that tongue for me, baby. Open up.” He removes his fingers from your mouth, grabbing a fistful of your hair before he slaps his heavy dick on your tongue. “Good fucking girl,” he sighs. He rubs his dick all over your face, slapping you with in, pushing it between your lips. He grips your hair tighter, pushing your head down onto his cock. “Fuckkkk,” he moans as feels your warm tongue rub along his shaft and your throat squeeze around him. You immediately gag as he goes further, eyes watering before you gag again, your nose touching his pelvis. “Stay just like that, don’t you fucking move.” He holds your head down for a few seconds before he lets go, allowing you to breathe.
You gasp for air, letting out dry coughs as he laughs at you. Strings of spit connect from your mouth to his dick, dripping down to his balls. His hand grips your hair again and you let out a pained whimper. “First time taking dick down your throat, huh?” He mocks you, stilling laughing in your face. You stare up at him with tearful eyes, wiping your mouth of all the spit. But before you could blink, a sharp pain spreads across your cheek, your head jolting to the other side. Did he just slap you? “Did I say you could wipe your mouth? No, no I don’t think I did. I like it messy, so get used it.” With force, he shoves his dick back in your throat.
You throat closes in around him again, gagging. Tears stream down your face as he fucks your mouth. Glug glug glug glug. You place your hands on his thighs in attempt to get him to slow down but he just goes harder, the back of head pushed against the tree and trapped between his thighs. He pushes your nose against his pelvis once more, spit dripping down your chin and from his balls. “Ugh, fuck! This throat feels so good!” His abs tense up and your eyes roll into the back of your head before he removes himself from your throat.
You’re coughing again, chest heaving up and down while you sit there on your knees trying to catch your breath. “Please, I can’t, my throat hurts.” Your brows furrow.
He grips your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “Someone’s gotta teach you how to suck dick properly, baby. I don’t give a fuck if your throat hurts,” he harshly says. He slaps his dick against your face, smearing your spit all over. “Come on, impress me.” He stares down at you with those dark eyes. You’re quick to understand that he wants you to suck his dick yourself. “Remember, I like it messy.”
Both hands wrap around his cock, jerking him off as you move your wrist in a circular motion, taking the rest of him in your mouth. Your tongue swirling around his head, gathering as much spit as you could. You look up at him, taking him slightly further down your throat before coming back up. “That’s it, keep those eyes on me. Don’t you dare fucking look away.” He grits his teeth, eyes rolling back when you bob your head up and down his shaft. Your jaw grows tired, pulling away to give yourself a break, your hands still gripping his length.
Streaks of mascara stain your cheeks, your lip stick smeared across your lips. He reaches down to pet your face, admiring the view. He can see that your scared, but he can also tell that you’re enjoying this. It only makes him want to get your blood pumping more. “Make me fucking cum. Put it back in your mouth.” He places his hand on the back of your head, pushing it down, your throat accommodating to his size. “You’re such a quick learner. Taking it like a fucking whore.” He bites down on his bottom lip, thrusting his hips at a sharp pace. “Open up that throat. Come on,” he growls.
You body jolts forward as you gag, your nails digging into his thighs as he pushes your nose against his pelvis. You can feel him twitch and pulsate in your throat and before you know it hot spurts of cum coat your throat. “Uh huh, fuck, fuck. Take it, baby. Mmmph!” His jaw goes slack, holding your head down until your slapping his thighs to breathe. Luckily, he lets you pull away after he drains all of his cum. You barely have time to recover before he’s snatching you back to your feet, spinning you around and pushing you against the tree. “Did such a good job sucking my dick. I wanna know if this pussy can do the same.” A swift slap to your ass makes you whimper, holding onto the tree for support while it scratches at your skin.
“Go slow, please,” you beg. You wish you would’ve never said anything because your words only added fuel to the fire. It’s been a while since you’ve slept with anyone and slipping him that piece of information made him do the opposite of what you asked for.
“Go slow? Huh? No, no.” His hand snaked around your throat, pulling your back against his chest while he whispered in your ear. “I’ll do what I want with you.” He smacked your ass again, tearing off your panties and tossing them somewhere into the woods. “Say you want me to fuck you,” he ordered. You silently stood there in his arms, biting down on your bottom lip as you braced for whatever he was going to give you. “Say it!” He huskily whispered, rubbing his shaft up and down your sopping slit.
“Fuck me,” you meekly spoke.
“What was that, baby? I couldn’t quite hear you.” He kissed your jaw so softly, his other hand reaching down to toy with your puffy clit. He let out a blissful sigh as your moans, continuing to rub it in circles in such a teasing manner. “Say it again.”
“Fuck me, please,” you said a little louder this time. “Ah!” A yelp left your lips when he slipped inside, pushing his entire length in, the burning stretch making you wince. “Oh fuck!” You whined. His thrusts were brutal, his cock reaching your deepest points. His arm wrapped your torso, holding you up while simultaneously pulling you back on his cock. The sudden sensation of him inside you became so overwhelming, you couldn’t help but squirm in his grip.
The sound of skin to skin echoed through the woods and your lewd moans along with it. Ripples of pleasure shot through every part of your body. Your hands reached out for the tree, finding stability to hold yourself up. His breath shuddered against your neck, desperate moans and grunts filling your ears. “You’re so fucking wet—nnngh fuck!” He growled. His fat tip kissed your cervix with each thrust, tears pricking your eyes before spilling over. Suddenly, he slowed down his thrusts, going harder and slower, allowing you to feel every throbbing inch.
“Ah!” You squealed when he slammed his hips against yours, only to slowly pull back out again. Each hard jolt of his hips sent your body forward, your knees already ready to give out. “Ah!” You screamed in pleasure, reaching down to grip onto his forearm.
His hand shot over your mouth, muffling your cries and moans. “Go ahead and scream, baby. You think someone is gonna hear you? It’s just me…and…you.” Each of his words were punctuated with hard thrusts. You moaned into his hand, your eyes screwed shut. He could feel you clench around him, letting out a blissful sigh. He pressed against you, going as deep as he could and stayed there. A sharp gasp escaped your throat, eyes widening as you tried to move your hips. “You’re mine now,” he breathily whispered.
“Mmph! Mmmph!” As he began pounding into you again your eyes rolled back, feeling him in the deepest parts of you. “Please, please, please,” you cried, voice breaking through your tears. Your mind grew hazy, too clouded to even think clearly. His thrusts were so sharp, so animalistic. He roughly grabbed your chin, forcing it in his direction before planting a hungry, sloppy kiss on your lips. Both of swallowed each others lewd moans, gasping for air between wet kisses.
“You’re gonna cum, aren’t you?” He rasped, staring into your eyes. All you could force was a nod. “Yeah? Gonna cum all over your stalkers dick, baby? Do it. Give it to me. Show me how dirty you are.” He pressed deeper, your entire body trembling. The feeling your pussy pulsating around him only fueled him to go faster, his grip on your entire body tightening while you came. “That it’s—f-fuck!” His voice trembled.
Your entire body quivered with pleasure, high pitched whines spilling from your lips, barely able to form proper words. His brutal pace sent your mind into a spiral. Each greedy stroke sent him closer to the edge, his thrust growing sloppier and his thoughts growing dirtier, thinking of filling you up with his cum and watching it leak out of you. “Oh my god! S-slow down! Gonna cu—nnngh!” Before you could even say it, you were already cumming a second time, your orgasm ripping through your entire body and sucking the air of your lungs.
“Yes, yes! Cum on my dick. You’re gonna make me cum, baby. Fuck your self on my dick. Work for it.” He pushed your weak body against the tree, his chest rising and falling as you so desperately fucked him, throwing your ass back. He looked down, watching the way he disappeared inside your messy cunt, creaming around him and sucking him in. You circled your hips, moving back and forth, feeling your ass ripple against his pelvis. “Fucking work for it.” His hand swatted your ass several times, the stinging sensation that lingered on your skin making you whimper. “Atta girl. Right fucking there…shit, baby. Just like that, just like that,” he whined, reaching down to squeeze the plump flesh.
Low guttural groans collided with your moans, echoing through the lonely forest. He was so close to cumming, you could tell. His big strong hands took ahold of your hips as he pushed himself all the way inside of you. “Ah…oh fuck…mmph—s-shit!” He shuddered, hot spurts of cum painting your walls. You pushed back into him, biting down on your bottom lip, not wanting one last drop to go to waste. After several seconds, he slowly pulled out, trying to catch his breath. He forcefully grabbed you, standing you upright even though your entire body was shaking.
After coming down from your high, you realized you just fucked your stalker and let him cum inside you. Hell, you didn’t even know his name. Both of you stared at each other, eyes searching deep within. You were left confused, speechless. You flinched when he brought his hand up to your cheek, gently stroking it with the pad of his thumb. His eyes flickered down to your lips, placing the most gentle kiss on them—the most gentle one since you’ve met him. Yet, you found yourself kissing him back. “Who are you?” Your voice broke the silence, nervously scanning his features.
His lips quirked up into the slightest smirk. “Just the boy who saw you at the Halloween party.” From the very beginning he was never going to give you his name. “Your stalker.” He seemed to take pride in his words, now smiling at you.
You gulped, blinking up at him. “My stalker.”
taglist (closed):
@roronoaslover @skychapt-blog @prettylil-teine @freakadelick @adamaisfav @tadabzzzbee @ourfinalisation @marlenemckinnonsleftfoot @heliumshorns @ninani-nanina @blankwashed @sadkaomoji @tojis-ball-sack @blkpotionss @sunjayist @cryptxdslxt @aweebthatsjustthere @angelrulez21-blog @lemonintrovert21 @vertigoandvirtues @cloudxluv @kkataleena @eclipsi-shadow @sugusmonkeyy @greatwizardangel @cybersomn1a @screamlast9 @purpleheart835 @ramiiroll @purp1eha1o @veraiku @yu22tas @wrldtups @4evrglow @sugarsticksss @fos-tis-zois @lisvanrouge @asiancupid @bluejayreadsanddreams @sincerelyaixii @digitaltrippers @chuuminn @lolimmafuckings1mp @jellyfishlord @therealest06 @terminosdevozsauve @keanureevessmile @nekoxvi @starlightglimmersworld @m0nsterzl0ve
#—☆classyrbf#kinktober#jjk kinktober#jjk#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk smut#geto x reader#geto smut#geto suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#suguru geto smut#suguru geto x reader#geto smut oneshot#geto suguru smut oneshot#jjk x reader smut#jjk smut oneshot
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - THREE
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x Sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of pregnancy, of abortion, health risks & death. chapter one ┆chapter two ┆ chapter four
Two lines.
Two bold, definitive lines.
You blinked. Once, twice, but it didn’t change. It wasn’t going away.
Two lines, clear as fucking day, staring back at you like they were taunting you.
The universe was laughing right in your face. You felt everything plummet to the very bottom of the earth—the room, the floor, your stomach—it all just plummeted, like you’d been pushed off a cliff with no warning.
The test fell from your grip, clattering onto the marble countertop, but you didn’t care. You backed away from it like it was something radioactive, something dangerous that could destroy you if you got too close. But it already had, hadn’t it?
You were pregnant.How could this happen? How the fuck could this happen?
You knew how, obviously. You weren’t that dumb. All you could see in your head was Rafe’s stupid fucking face. His name alone made you want to punch something, preferably his balls.
You were pregnant? With his kid? You were so careful with your life, with your image.
You could feel the resentment rise in your throat again, the taste of acid making you want to scream. He didn’t get to do this to you. He couldn’t ruin your life twice, fuck you up this bad and then just leave. You wanted to hate him. You did hate him. You hated it. And worse, you hated yourself.
There you were, stuck with this. Alone with a baby you didn’t even want to think about. The thought of it growing inside you—of carrying some piece of him, some reminder of everything he put you through these past two months—it was loathsome. He wasn’t part of this, not anymore. And you weren’t that girl—you didn’t want to be. You weren’t the one who begged for him to care, who waited around for him to come to his senses, who made excuses.
You weren't going to cry. You couldn’t. Not because you didn’t want to, but because you physically couldn’t. Not with your makeup done so carefully. Your eyes were lined so meticulously, your foundation blended like a dream, your lips painted in that bold red everyone said you pulled off effortlessly. You couldn’t afford to let your mascara run. He wasn’t worth it.
You weren’t going to ruin all that hard work over him again. No way.
You pressed a tissue to your eyes—not to cry, but to catch the stray moisture that threatened to ruin your eyeliner—and took a deep breath. You smoothed your dress, and made sure everything was in place.
You didn’t have time to figure it out, or wallow, or throw shit around. You straightened your back, lifted your chin, and forced yourself to feel nothing.
Not the panic, not the nausea, not the rage. Nothing.
You could push it all down, shove it into that deep hellish place in your guts where you put everything else. Later, maybe you’d have to let it out.
Just as you were spiraling deeper into the pit, there was a knock on the door. Loud. It made you jump, pulling you out of your head for just a second.
“Hey!” It was Lily, her voice bright, oblivious. “It’s time. We need you out there. You’ve got like three minutes.”
Right. You wanted to laugh at how ridiculous this was.
You stepped out of the room, every movement rehearsed, the smile expertly placed on your lips. You were a master at this—faking it, pretending like nothing in the world could touch you. Not after seeing those two fucking lines.
Your heels clicked on the floor as you walked through the hallway, down the steps, and into the ballroom. It was filled with kooks being kooks. Fake smiles, fake compliments, fake friendships. You weren’t even listening to a word anyone said to you.
“Hi, darling, you look stunning as always,” someone said, leaning in to kiss you on the cheek. You smiled, said thank you, maybe even added a you too, but you couldn’t hear yourself. Your body knew exactly what to do at these things.
Pretend like you gave a shit.
“Your dad would be so proud,” another woman gushed, and you wanted to throw up. You laughed.
If he knew what was happening. Pregnant? By a man who didn’t put a ring on your finger?
And there they were, of course—Topper, Kelce and Ruthie, standing in the middle of it all, grinning like idiots. Well, Topper grinning like an idiot.
Ruthie? That girl was giving everyone her signature snake sneer. Of course she was. The bitch had this superpower of sensing everyone's business before they even knew it themselves.
A waiter passed by with a tray of champagne flutes, and you reached out instinctively, but the waiter, somehow, just missed you. The tray floated right past, and before you could even realize the fact that you didn’t have a drink in your hand, her eyes were on you.
“Oh, you're not drinking?” she asked, voice dripping with fake concern. Her eyes flickered, like she knew something, and you swear to god, your eyelid twitched.
“Not yet,” you replied with the same faux smile.
Ruthie just kept watching you with those too-knowing eyes, like she was looking for a crack, some little tell. Because she always did.
You had to be so careful around her.
One wrong move, one second, and she’d be all over it, spreading it around the entire town before you even had a chance to breathe.
Your cousin, completely oblivious, was babbling with Kelce about something—probably golf, or the new boat his dad bought, or some other thing you couldn’t care less about. You nodded along, pretending to listen, but you were mentally still in the bathroom, staring at those two lines.
“So, you invited Rafe?” Kelce said it like it was nothing, like bringing up your ex-boyfriend was the most casual thing in the world.
“What the actual fuck did you just say?” You all but growled out, enough to make him choke on his champagne.
He looked genuinely confused, as if he didn’t just mention the one person you’d rather hurl off a bridge at the moment. “Yeah, Rafe. He’s on the list, right?”
Your whole body went rigid. You blinked, trying to keep your face from giving anything away, but inside? You were dying. Ruthie’s eyebrows shot up—oh great, now you had her attention too.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Kelce, of course, had the nerve to chuckle.
If Rafe had spoken to them about being taken off the guest list, you’d lose it. The insolence of him mentioning your name—like he still had any right to talk about you? He should’ve buried the memory of you right along with whatever feelings he claimed to have had.
But then, if he hadn’t said a word about it to his best friends—that meant something worse. That meant he didn’t care. He was over it. Over you.
He hadn’t even bothered to tell them that he wasn’t coming to the gala because he wasn’t thinking about it. Or about you.
You hated either possibility.
Kelce like the asshole he was, "I thought you two were—"
"Don't." You cut him off so fast, so hard, he had to take a step back.
You wanted to grab Top by his clueless shoulders and demand answers. Did Rafe care? Was he coming tonight? You didn’t like any option—every scenario made you want to get on a plane to the other side of the world. If he was planning to show up despite being cut from the list…Shit, what would you even do? You could feel the headache starting already.
That would be so him, though.
The arrogance. The entitlement, ignoring boundaries because he never thought the rules applied to him.
Ruthie, of course, was still watching you like a hawk. Her eyes darted between you and Topper, and you could practically feel her mind working, trying to piece together whatever she thought she was seeing. She loved this. She lived for other people’s drama, and you knew she’d sniff out anything that didn’t look flawless.
You did out without even thinking, grabbing Topper’s ear between two manicured fingers like you were his mom dragging him out of Sunday school, pulling him away.
"Ow, Jesus—what the hell?!" he yelped, stumbling to keep up with you in his shiny loafers as you all but hauled him into the nearest corner of the ballroom, out of sight, but still within earshot of the crowd.
You didn’t care. Let someone see. Let them all see.
You turned to him, barely letting go of his ear, your nails tapping impatiently against your crossed arms. He looked at you like you’d lost your mind, and maybe you had.
“Spill it.”
He was still rubbing his ear. “What are you talking about?”
“Rafe,” you snapped, eyes narrowing. “Is he coming tonight? And don’t you dare lie to me, Top.”
He gulped. Actually gulped. You swore you could see the gears turning in that pretty, empty head of his, trying to figure out if he could weasel his way out of this.
“I— I don’t know, okay?” Topper stammered, running a hand through his hair. “I haven’t talked to him today, but I figured… I mean, he always comes to these things, so I assumed—"
That meant Rafe didn’t tell him. That your little stunt hadn’t phased him in the slightest.
“You assumed?” You leaned in closer, eyes burning holes into his skull. “After everything, you thought it was a good idea to just assume he’d show up and not even bother telling me?”
“I can’t put him on a leash!” His voice rose defensively, eyes wide like he was the one under attack. And yeah, maybe he was. Maybe you’d gone full psycho mode. Rafe always turned you into this—this furious, spiraling, out-of-control version of yourself.
Your cousin was just collateral damage.
“Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe someone should.” You said it slowly like you were explaining something to a child. “Do you even know what it’s like?” you hissed, leaning in closer, your voice dropping , “To sit here, wondering if he’s gonna show up like some ticking time bomb?”
Topper’s mouth opened, but nothing came out.
He didn’t know shit about what you were going through. How could he? He wasn’t the one with a whole life-changing secret burning a hole in his brain, wondering if the father of the child growing inside him was going to ruin everything—again.
“I—I didn’t think it was that serious,” Topper stammered, hands flying up in surrender. “I mean, he’s always been a dick, but—”
You remember the first thing he texted you after weeks of radio silence.
“No,” you interrupted, “He’s more than just a dick. He’s—” You stopped yourself before you said too much. God, you were on the edge, and you needed to rein it in.
Topper, still looking like a kicked puppy, shifted on his feet.
“Look, I’ll text him. I’ll ask if he’s coming or not, okay?” He pulled out his phone, typing something quickly. You watched him, arms crossed, tapping your foot against the marble floor like your life depended on it. If you saw his face—his stupid, beautiful, infuriating face—you didn’t know what you’d do.
Punch him? Scream? Run? The thought of him being here, so close, when you hadn’t even processed what was happening to you…
“Okay, he says—” He paused, squinting at his screen, “he’s not coming.”
The relief. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, shoulders sagging for just a second before you caught yourself. He’s not coming.
But why did it hurt? Perhaps a small part of you wanted him to show up—just to see you, just to care. The other part, however, didn’t. You didn’t want him anywhere near you, or this... this thing inside you.
“See?” Topper said, holding up his phone like it was some peace offering. “He’s not coming. Crisis averted.” He gave you this awkward, nervous smile, like he thought you might hit him again.
You forced a laugh, even though nothing about this was funny.
“Great. Awesome. Perfect,” you said through gritted teeth simultaneously smoothing your dress, and pushing your hair back over your shoulder, “Thanks, Top. Really. You’re a real lifesaver.”
He looked at you like he wasn’t sure if you were being sarcastic or not, but you didn’t care. The moment was over. You’d survived.
You rolled your eyes as you turned away heading back toward your original group. Of course, Ruthie was still standing there her arms crossed, that smug little smirk on her face. She’d been watching the whole thing, no doubt about it.
You could feel her nosy ass dissecting every single move you made.
“He’s not here yet,” she hummed, her eyes narrowing just enough to piss you off. “Weird, right? Maybe he’s busy with Sofia.”
Of course, she brought up that fucking name.
She was sniffing out blood in the water, as if she wasn’t just another Sarah Cameron knock-off. You could already picture it—the headlines, the whispers spreading through the audience, everyone talking about you. The legacy who ruined her own gala.
Kelce snorted, not even bothering to hide his amusement, because of course he thought this was all a joke. He never got it. None of them did.
You wished, for just a second, that you weren’t born into this pristine, high-society life. You felt so smothered by these expectations. If you were anyone else, if you weren’t some debutante raised on champagne and etiquette, you’d have punched her right there. You’d have knocked her straight to the floor and wiped that pretentious smile off her face with blood in front of every stuck-up rich asshole in the room.
“I didn’t realize we were talking about her,” you said, voice like sugar, even though you knew Ruthie could sense the underlying warning in it,“But thanks, Ruthie, for always keeping me updated on things that don’t concern you.”
Her eyes narrowed, but she didn’t back down yet.
“Just making conversation. I mean, it is weird that he hasn’t shown up yet, right? Considering how close you two used to be. I’m sure it’s nothing, though.”
Kelce, that asshole, leaned in, "Come on, don't act like you’re over it." His eyes glanced down to your hand. "You’re shaking."
You were. You hadn’t even noticed.
But instead of acknowledging it, you shot him a look that could've killed. "Fuck off, Kelce."
They were trying to get you to admit you didn’t invite him. Well, they’d have to try harder. You’d been swimming around sharks since you were born, no one was going to fuck you over so easily.
“Uh-huh,” Ruthie said, not buying a word of it. Her eyes flicked between you and Topper, and you knew what she was doing. She was fishing. “You sure about that? You were giving him a look.”
You glanced at your cousin, who was still rubbing his ear like a toddler. “Just sorting out some... logistics for the gala,” you said, voice saccharine, but it felt like chewing on glass. “It’s nothing. Really.”
She arched a brow, her lips curling up in a knowing grin. She knew something was off. She always did. “Right,” she said slowly, drawing the word out like she was savoring it. “Because for a second there, it looked like you were about to explode.”
She was monitoring you so closely, you could feel it crawling up your skin.
“You know,” she sighed, like she cared. “If something’s going on you can tell me. I won’t say a word.”
That was rich. Ruthie, keeping a secret? You’d sooner trust a thief with your jewelry. “I’m sure you wouldn’t,” you said, not keeping the sarcasm out of your voice. “But trust me, there’s nothing to tell.”
Ruthie’s pursed her lips, annoyed that she hadn’t managed to dig anything up, “Are you—”
You were two seconds away from shoving her into the nearest fountain. But instead, you took a deep breath, “You should worry less about me,” you advised her, “and more about that atrocious dress you’re wearing.”
The smile fell off her face so fast, it was glorious.
You didn’t wait for her to recover. You turned on your heel, and grabbed Topper by the arm.
As soon as you were far enough away, he let out a breath he’d been holding. “Jesus, I thought you were gonna deck her.”
You grinned, but there was no warmth in it. “I still might.”
He sighed, “She’s still my girlfriend.”
“Yeah, downgrading seems like a thing for you boys.”
Like a guardian angel sent from above, Lily appeared, stepping between you two with a concerned expression.
“Hey, hey,” she interrupted, glancing between you, “What was that about?”
You could see the caution in her eyes. She wasn’t stupid—Lily knew things between you and Rafe had been rocky, and she’d probably been sensing the tension the entire night. But right now, she was doing her best to defuse the earlier situation before it got any worse.
“Nothin’, just Ruthie being herself,” You dismissed, as you grabbed onto her forearm, “Let’s go.”
Lily blinked, startled by your urgency, but she didn’t argue. “Yeah, we should head backstage, the speech is coming up.”
“Bye Top. Stay the fuck away from the chocolate fountain.”
You could hear him whine in the back, “I did that shit once!”
Lily pulled you along through the ballroom, her arm linked with yours, quickening her pace to keep up with you as you nearly bolted toward the back of the venue. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,” you bit out, though your voice didn’t even convince you. “I’m fine. I just need to get this speech over with.”
“Uh-huh,” She replied, clearly not convinced, but smart enough to drop it for now. “You got it, don’t worry.”
Finally, you made it to the side entrance that led backstage. The thick drapes and low lighting created a shield, giving you a small moment of privacy before the world demanded your attention again.
Lily stood next to you, gently touching your arm, “You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready. We can stall, or—”
“I have to,” you stopped her, rubbing a hand over your face, “I can’t—” You didn’t finish your sentence because you didn’t know how to say it. You had no choice.
Lily’s fingers squeezed your arm a little tighter. “Okay,” she said quietly, nodding. “But I’m here if you need me.”
You forced a smile, one that didn’t reach your eyes. “Thanks,” you whispered, even though the words felt hollow in your mouth.
You appreciated her being here, really, but she was blissfully unaware of the pregnancy test in the trash can.
Taking a deep breath, you adjusted your posture, straightened your dress, and ran a hand through your hair, reminding yourself that you’d been here before. You’d stood on that stage so many times.
This wasn’t new. You just had to get through it.
One more speech. One more night. You glanced at Lily, gave her a quick nod, and stepped through the final curtain. Back into the spotlight. Back into the role you’d perfected so well—put together, poised, untouchable.
The low murmur of the gathering hummed in your ears, growing louder with every second. You weren’t ready. You were never going to be ready.
You just needed to remember how to breathe.
The speech was printed and sitting in your hands, it felt like dead weight. You hadn’t even read through it since you’d finished it hours ago, and now, the thought of standing in front of all those people, pretending to have it together—it felt impossible.
Then, in the corner of your eye, you saw him.
Rafe.
He said he wasn’t coming. Topper said he wasn’t coming. But there he was, standing there, watching you just like he always had.
You hadn’t even meant to look. You didn’t do it on purpose, perhaps it was muscle memory, always searching for him. He was standing in the same spot he usually took. Like nothing had changed.
As if he hadn’t ripped you apart.
You tried to focus, but your heart was racing, thundering in your ears.
How dare he? How fucking dare he? Instantly you were back there, that messy, intoxicating space you swore you’d never return to. The one where he controlled the air you breathed. He looked so good. Too good, really. He was wearing a crisp navy suit that hugged his frame perfectly, hair buzzed again.
You should’ve guessed he’d find a way back here, even after everything.
“Are you ready?” Lily whispered beside you, her voice pulling you back from the brink of a breakdown.
“Yeah.”
Your heart raced as you forced yourself to look back at Rafe.
He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t even pretending to look interested. He just stood there, his eyes locked on you, unreadable, unfathomable.
He was still watching you. It felt like could see through your polished exterior. He probably did. He knew you better than anyone else. You wondered what he saw—the confident girl who had always pulled off these events with ease or the terrified woman who was about to pass out from the pressure.
Then, he’s lips lifted slightly. That infuriating, devil-may-care almost there smirk that had made your heart stutter long before everything went to hell. It reminded you of nights spent tangled in sheets, whispers pressed against your skin under the cover of darkness, moments that felt like they belonged in a dream.
You wanted to throw the speech away and storm off the stage, leaving this whole night behind.
Instead, you cleared your throat and gripped the edges of the podium, the cool wood bringing you back to the world.
The words were on the paper in front of you, but you didn’t need to look at them. You knew the speech by heart every year. You’d written it yourself, after all—crafted it with care, knowing exactly what people needed to hear to make their checks bigger, to keep your father’s legacy alive.
It was just a matter of saying it without breaking.
A deep breath, and then you began.
“Good evening, everyone. Thank you so much for being here tonight.”
Your voice sounded better than what you felt, and you leaned into that, letting it carry you through the first few lines.
“We gather here every year for the same reason—to celebrate the incredible work this foundation does, and to honor the legacy of those who came before us. This foundation isn’t just a charity; it’s a tribute. A way to remember those we’ve lost and to carry their dreams forward. It’s about giving back to a community that gave so much to us.”
You paused, just for a moment, glancing down at the speech in your hands, feeling the overwhelming crush of what you’re about to say next.
“For me, this has always been personal.” Your voice softened as you continued, “Most of you are aware I lost my family a few years ago. My father started this foundation. His vision was always to make sure that no one was left behind, that we take care of our own. My mother helped build it. And my sister…” You hesitated, remembering how faultless she’d been, “She was always the heart of it.”
The room was utterly still now, everyone listening intently.
“Tonight, as I stand here, I can’t help but think about how proud they would be of what we’ve accomplished. At least, I hope they’d be proud.”
You allowed yourself a small, bittersweet smile.
“My dad would’ve been in his element, making sure everything was spotless. And my mom, well, she’d probably tell me that the curtains were horrid and needed to be replaced immediately.”
The crowd gave a light laugh, the tension in the room dissipating just a little. You smiled, a real one this time, for the first time in weeks, picturing your mother in her no-nonsense way, criticizing every decoration like it was the most important thing in the world.
“I miss them every day,” you added, “And I’m certain I’m not the only one in this room who’s experienced that kind of loss. It changes you. But it also reminds you to live in a way that makes them proud. And that’s what tonight is about, continuing their work, continuing their legacy, and making sure we do right by them.”
Your grip on the podium loosened, and you looked up, making eye contact with the audience.
“So, to everyone here tonight—thank you. Thank you for believing in this cause. Thank you for your generosity, your support, and your kindness. And thank you for helping me keep their memory alive.”
With that, you stepped back from the podium, the applause swelling around you, but all you could hear was the sound of your heart breaking.
It was over. You did it.
Automatically, your eyes flickered up toward the back corner, the spot where Rafe was standing. You never needed to look before; you’d always just known he’d be there. It was his silent promise to you since you were sixteen. Every gala, every speech—no matter what happened between the two of you—he was there.
But he wasn’t there anymore. The space was empty.
This was what you wanted, you didn’t need him anymore. You were going to get through this on your own. It was the first time he wasn’t there to catch you like he’d always been.
You stood taller, and forced a smile, but as you started to step down from the stage, you felt it.
That stupid fucking warmth.
His hand found your elbow as you and every nerve in your body screamed bloody murder. The applause was still buzzing in your ears, cameras flashing—none of it registered.
All you saw was him.
Three seconds. That was how close you were to snapping. Who the fuck let him in?
You yanked your arm away, the touch burning your skin like it was staining you. You didn’t say a word—just turned and headed straight for the back exit.
Behind you, you heard his footsteps.
Of course, he never knew when to stop, when to let you breathe.
“Can we just—” he was practically jogging after you, his voice strained. “Can we talk like fucking adults?”
You were already halfway down the hall, pulling off your earrings as you stormed toward your suite.
The fucking sheer audacity of this man. You couldn’t even process it—how he could stand there, with his fake-ass calm tone, chasing after you like you were the one being unreasonable.
You threw open the door to the suite you got ready in, the one that was supposed to be your sanctuary for the night and stepped inside, not bothering to close it behind you; you knew he was going to follow you in any way.
He was relentless like that.
You tossed the earrings onto the vanity and glanced up to see he was right behind you now, lingering in the doorway, as if unsure of how much further he could push before you exploded.
He looked at you like he was the victim in all this.
“Can you at least listen to me for a second?” It sounded like he was forcing himself to stay calm.
But that bite was so Rafe.
You spun around, your breath coming out harsh.
“Listen to you? Listen to you? You’ve got to be out of your fucking mind.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but you were already pulling off your heels, the sharp tug at the straps doing nothing to calm your frustration.
He stood there, his eyes on you, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him for more than a second without feeling the betrayal flooding your chest.
Rafe was rubbing the back of his neck in that agitated way he did when he was frustrated. “I came here because I didn’t want to leave things like that. I thought we could be civil—”
“Civil?” You nearly laughed, “You seriously think you can walk in here and be civil after everything?”
His eyes narrowed just a fraction. He moved on his feet, stepping further into the room, and you saw it—the way he rolled his shoulders like he was already preparing himself for a fight. “I came to apologize.”
He ran a hand through his buzzed hair, the same agitated motion you’d seen a thousand times as if he was trying to smooth out the mess in his head.
Your hands stopped mid-motion, your necklace halfway off. You looked at him like he’d lost his mind. "Apologize for what, exactly?"
“For calling you dramatic.” He exhaled like he was doing something noble by saying it. As if he was doing you a favor. “For that text. I was drunk, didn’t mean it.”
He wasn’t apologizing for ghosting you. He wasn’t apologizing for her.
You stared at him, completely floored. He was serious, he thought this was some kind of peace offering. The fact that he thought an apology for that would fix anything? Insane.
“You think this is about that?” You cackled, chucking one shoe to the side, not caring where it landed, and the other followed right after. “Oh my god, Rafe, you are so fucking clueless.”
His expression changed then, brows furrowed, “I’m trying to make things right,” he mutters. “I don’t want you out of my life, okay?”
You threw the necklace somewhere on the ground, your patience gone. “You were the one who pushed me away. You don’t get to waltz in here and act like we can just fix things because you finally feel bad about it.”
He stepped closer, looming over you now, his lips curling into that sneer. “I’m trying to give you a chance to be friends—”
Give you? Like you were some charity case to him? As if you should be thankful.
“I don’t want to be your friend!” You growled in his face, stepping forward and jabbing your finger into his chest, “I’d rather set myself on fire than be your friend, so you can take that chance and shove it up your ass.”
His hand came up to run along his head again, and you saw the way his fingers curled into his scalp like he was trying not to give in to his impulsive thoughts. His breathing was heavier now, too, chest rising and falling quickly.
“Why are you being so difficult?” he snapped, and there it was—the familiar, accusatory edge in his voice. “After what you said about my dad—”
The reason.
The thing that broke you two this time, the thing he’d been holding over your head. You saw the hurt in his eyes, the one thing he hadn’t let go of.
You told him the truth and now it had become the scar he wouldn’t stop picking at. He was hurt. And he was angry, because you’d finally told him the truth about his dad, and it shattered that fake picture he had in his head.
“You’re gonna bring that up right now?” Your voice was so quiet it nearly scared you. “After all the shit you’ve put me through, that’s what you’re mad about?”
“You don’t get to talk about him like that,” he growled, stepping forward. “That’s why we broke up. Because you don’t fucking get it.”
But Sofia did, right?
That was fucking hilarious. She didn’t grow up listening to Ward’s bullshit. Didn’t see the kind of things he’d say or did to his oldest child.
Of course, she would take his side. She didn’t know better.
You shook your head, “No, we broke up because you didn’t like me telling the truth. Your dad was a piece of shit, and you know it.”
For a moment, the air went deadly still between you. You could sense his hurt, the way it sneaked between every bitter word.
Then, he did it—the thing you knew he would, that thing that made your blood boil.
Rafe pulled at the back of his neck again, looking like he might’ve ground his teeth to dust. “Oh, I get it now,” he says, his voice thick with condescension. “You’re jealous.”
Your whole body went borderline rigid, like a door, locked in place.
He was standing there, offering you friendship like a pity prize, calling you jealous when you were standing there broken, trying not to fall apart because of him.
“Jealous?” you repeated, in disbelief. “Of your little pogue girlfriend? Please, fucking spare me. You want me to throw a penny at her?”
He stepped closer, his breath quickening. "She’s real, okay? She’s not some polished barbie pretending in front of everyone, just to fall apart behind closed doors."
Ouch. But you could do worse.
"Real huh?" You scoffed, the bitterness in your chest taking over. "Is that what you call it? Someone who doesn’t know the difference between caviar and fucking canned tuna? That’s the 'real' you’ve been slumming it with?"
"At least she doesn’t care about any of this," he snapped, gesturing to the glittering gala that surrounded you both. "She’s not obsessed with keeping up appearances.”
A cold laugh escaped your lips. He must’ve forgotten to look in the mirror today.
"God, you’re so delusional. Do you think I wanted any of this?” You shot him a look that could cut through steel. "I’m not the one faking it. You are. You are still so desperate for Daddy’s approval that you can’t even see what a fucking mess you are."
Rafe's hands flexed at his sides, his fingers twitching. His nostrils flared, and he tilted his head to the side, running his tongue over his teeth like he always did when he was trying to stay calm.”
"I’m not afraid of who I am," His lips barely moved as he spoke, rolling his shoulders back again, standing to his full height. "You spend so much time trying to be perfect, you don’t even know who you are anymore."
He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your skin, like a predator sizing you up, his eyes locked on yours. You could see his jaw clench, his chest rising and falling with every shallow breath as he tried to keep his composure.
You took a step closer, your chest brushing against his, your heart pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears. His gaze flicked downward, scanning your face.
"Is that a joke? You spend so much time trying to be your father, you’ve lost yourself. Do you think I don’t see it? You’re so fucking empty without his approval,” Your voice dipped lower, “You’re so pathetic it’s almost sad."
He clenched his jaw again, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. He took a sharp breath through his nose, staring you down with a look that was all Rafe—volatile, unreadable, on the edge of breaking.
Right then and there, Lily burst into the room, her wide eyes taking in the scene like a bomb had just gone off.
"Okay! What is going on in here?" she demanded, her voice sharp but layered with concern. “I could hear you two in the hallway. If something happened, this is not the place to deal with it.”
“You wanna know what happened, Lily?” you started, almost laughing with disbelief. “This motherfucker started seeing someone behind my back. Two months—two fucking months—with no real closure, no answers. And he’s off fucking some pogue.”
“It’s not like that,” He scoffed, pointing a finger in your direction as he took a few steps back, "Don't drag Sofia into this.”
His posture screamed defensiveness, and all you could think was how much you hated the way he said her name. It made you want to throw up, it felt like someone was taking a rusty nail and dragging it down your spine.
He said it so casually, so carelessly, as if it hadn’t ripped you apart. It was the way he said it, with that hint of affection, like she was this delicate, shiny little thing he was protecting, and you—you—were just a threat he had to deal with.
"I'll drag the fucking Pope into this if I have to.”
You were the one who had been there through all his bullshit, you were the one who held him together when everything in his life was falling apart. Now, suddenly, she was the one he spoke about softly. Like she mattered.
It was insulting.
“Guys!”
Lily stepped between you both, throwing her hands up as if she were separating two wild animals about to rip each other apart.
“Please, please calm down. Rafe, I think you should leave. Now."
He looked like he wanted to say more, you knew he had a million things screaming at him beneath the surface, but for once, he stayed silent. Maybe it was the fact that Lily was there, or maybe he finally realized you weren’t going to bite into his bullshit excuses and provocations.
Whatever it was, he took a step back, shaking his head. “Unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath, storming past Lily and out of the room.
You could hear the distant sound of the door slamming as he left.
The moment he was gone, you felt your breath coming out in shallow gasps. Your heart dropped to your stomach, your pulse racing.
Lily turned to you; her face full of concern. She reached out and grabbed your shoulders gently.
“Hey,” she whispered, her voice soothing, “Breathe. Just breathe.”
You pressed a hand to your chest, your breath hitching. Pregnant. You were pregnant with his kid, and this was what you got in return.
No peace. No calm.
Your chest tightened, your vision blurring.
“Hey, hey,” She cooed again, her hands on your arms, grounding you. “You’re okay. We’re going to figure this out. Just breathe, okay?”
You couldn’t believe you’d let it get this far—couldn’t believe you were even in this situation.
There was no way you were having his kid.
Absolutely not.
You didn’t even have to think about it. The decision had been made the second he’d defended her and insulted you like you were sidewalk littering.
Tomorrow, you’d take care of it. You’d book the appointment and that would be that. Clean break, no more ties to Rafe Cameron, no more staying in that fucked up twisted cycle with him.
“I really think you need to sit down and breathe for a second. You’re scaring me sweetheart, and honestly, this isn’t good for you.”
Once again, you pondered telling her everything—about breaking down and spilling every ugly detail. But that would make it real.
Your designer dress clung to you in all the wrong ways, as if even the fabric could understand the order going changes in your body.
“Whoever let him in, I want them fired.”
You spat suddenly gaining momentary strength to ruin lives. It wasn’t just a demand; it was an execution order.
The quiet threat of it was more terrifying than your screaming would have been.
Tomorrow, you’d make sure this nightmare ended before it could begin.
TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige @rafebb @rafesbby @whytheylosttheirminds
@zyafics @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron @serrendiipty @sunny1616
@yootvi @ditzyzombiesblog @psychocitylights @maibelitaaura @kiiyomei
@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2
@starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols @icaqttt
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron au#rafe fic#rafe x reader#rafe cameron angst#toxic!rafe#toxic!reader#angst#itneverendshere works✨#rafe cameron series#rafe cameron outer banks#eventual smut#eventual fluff#just angst now#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron obx#obx 4#obx rafe cameron#rafe x sofia
3K notes
·
View notes