#noah sebastian series

[treacheryinblue]

Hey read this while I write the next chapter 😘

「 ON DISPLAY 」 noah sebastian ⨯ f!reader

▷ chapter five

noah is your neighbor and your new favorite view thanks to his lack of curtains. you're pretty sure he prefers it this way. but the man you've created in your imagination is nothing like reality and you soon find yourself falling prey to a past lifestyle you had been desperately on the run from. trigger warnings : language, smut, violence, mention/flashbacks of abuse, alcohol and drug use, sexual harassment/assault (nongraphic). word count : 13k

masterlist

NOAH POV

“You called in a favor to go on a sushi date?” 

Jolly could only stare at his best friend like he was going to break down in laughter at any second and tell him that he was just kidding. Unfortunately for Jolly, Noah could only stare back at him, completely expressionless. 

“That's not the point.”

“If you want to fuck the server, then fuck the server. Don't get dragged into her mess when we have our own shit to deal with, Noah. Come on, man.” 

Noah’s jaw clenched at his friend’s terms regarding you, though his face remained stoic. Years of training had made him the perfect guard with an outstanding poker face. 

Jolly’s mouth then fell open in shock. The silence said it all. He was one of the only people who could read Noah’s blank expressions, even more so lately. He figured he had you to thank for that. You were quickly becoming his one and only weakness. 

“You're telling me that you're going through all of this for pussy you haven't even had yet?” 

Goddamn, Noah really hated him talking about you like that. You weren't just some pussy he was looking to score with. Maybe at first it had been purely lust, but things changed in a whirlwind. Now you were clouding his mind every second of every day. He couldn't stand the thought of harm coming to you, especially not after he had vowed to keep you safe. You were his responsibility now. His problem. But in the best way possible. 

“Look,” Noah adjusted the black wraps on his hands and then flexed his fingers. “I swore to her I wouldn't say anything to you, so can you at least try to keep this quiet?” 

Who was he kidding? He wouldn't be able to keep it from you that he had broken his promise. 

His fist then slammed into the punching bag dangling before him with little warning, followed by another solid hit that would have his knuckles aching in a matter of seconds. No amount of fights or training could fully help his body adjust to the abuse he put it through. Jolly groaned slightly from where he was standing behind the bag, gripping at the sides to keep it still with each forceful punch. 

“Then why are you telling me?” 

Noah took a moment to ponder this question. Why was he? He knew he would eventually need resources Jolly had but he couldn't tell his best friend that that was the only reason. 

“Because clearly these guys aren't fucking around and I can't be everywhere at once.” 

“So…what? You want to assign men to her? Fucking hell, Noah.”

Hands up and his breathing controlled, Noah landed punch after punch into the bag, following it up with a knee into the side of it that would easily take any assailant down. His hands then fell to his hips and he took a step back, his breathing heavy, sweat dripping from his forehead. 

“Mainly me,” he shrugged. “But when I'm needed at the club or for shipments then I figured we could spare Jackson.” 

“We can't spare anyone, Noah. This operation only works when we have all hands on deck. Everyone has a place and a job.” 

Noah’s jaw clenched, his grip on the water bottle he now held causing the plastic to loudly crinkle. He took a swallow before setting the bottle aside and then approaching Jolly, their chests nearly touching. If Jolly thought he was going to back down to him because he was his “boss” then he was dead wrong. Their roles were nothing more than a show. 

“This woman is important to me and I'm going to make sure she feels safe. Isn't that what we're all about, Joakim?” 

Jolly flinched at the use of his actual name, his eyes narrowing. 

“She gets a guard, a detail, an escort - whatever the fuck I decide that she needs. I promised her I would keep her safe and I'll do anything in my power to keep that promise. You don't have to understand. I don't give a shit. But as my best friend, you will respect these decisions and her.” 

“Goddammit,” Jolly cursed under his breath when he was the first to break their intense eye contact. He briefly gave his back to Noah, a hand washing over his face in pure aggravation. 

Turning to face him again, Jolly licked over his lips and produced a single nod. But before Noah could strut away with his victory, he pointed a finger directly at his chest. “If this ruins our operation, I will fucking bury you. Best friend or not. Understand?” 

Noah smirked, nodding. “I'll even help you dig the grave.”

READER POV

Waking up in an unknown bed wasn't common for you. Casual hook ups weren't your thing, so if it wasn't your bed - or Vane’s in the past - then you were utterly lost and baffled. Except you were starting to recall the night before and just why you were in an unknown bed, surrounded by homely items that did not belong to you. 

Noah. Your destroyed apartment. The worry in his eyes. His mouth on your body before it all went to shit. 

You wished you could relive that last little bit just a moment longer. 

Your eyes slowly opened to first see the unfamiliar lamp on the bedside table, a bottle of water and a phone charging cord occupying the space around it. The sheets were soft and warm from where you were cocooned within them, the scent attached to them a comforting sensation that could easily lull you back to sleep. His scent. You knew you needed to get up, though. As much as you wanted to, you couldn't rot in this bed all day. 

Sitting up with reluctance, you began to scan the contents of the bedroom. There wasn't much to it, just like the living room you had been staring longingly at for a few months now. A dresser with a mirror, closet, two bedside tables, virtually nothing of personal value on the shelves or in the bookcase nestled into the corner. You couldn't say you were surprised. Noah was a minimalist, something you couldn't relate to. 

As you pulled yourself out of bed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, your feet slowly shuffled you out of the bedroom. It was quiet in the apartment, the eerie silence sending a chill down your spine and bringing goosebumps to your arms. You hugged yourself as you stepped into the living room, making a slow approach to the window you were so used to looking through from your own apartment. Being on the opposite side now was surreal. 

Across the way you could see the destroyed mess that was once your home. Noah hadn't let you clean anything up before dragging you out the night before despite your protests. The large sum of money you had hidden away was truly what you were concerned about. You heavily sighed, eyes then falling to the singular plant that sat to your right. The soil was in desperate need of some moisture, so you scurried to the kitchen and filled a glass with water, then slowly began to dump it into the dry soil. 

Just as you were tilting the glass further up, the front door suddenly opened, keys jingling and bags rustling. You jumped, what remained of the water sloshing onto your chest and stomach, the fabric of Noah’s shirt you wore immediately soaking all the way through. 

“Jesus Christ!” You gasped, a hand clutching your chest. Your eyes were nearly bulging out of your head as you looked at Noah standing in the doorway, his brows raised and a laugh threatening to escape. 

“Just me,” he then chuckled, hands held up in innocence. 

You relaxed only when your brain came to terms with you not being in any danger. You actually felt your safest when Noah was around. It was odd since you had only known him for a handful of time, but no one had ever put you at ease the way he did.

That both delighted and terrified you. 

“Did you sleep okay?” 

Noah's eyes trailed your body, pausing when he noticed the way his damp shirt was clinging to portions of your skin. One spot in particular being on your chest, granting him the view of your hardened nipple beneath the chill-inducing wet fabric. You pulled the fabric away from your body, waving it a bit to help dry sections of it, unaware that he had been close to drooling. 

“Yeah, I guess,” you shrugged. When you looked back up at him, he abruptly shifted his gaze elsewhere, awkwardly fumbling with the items in his arms. 

“You really should've let me sleep on the couch,” you added as he made his way into the kitchen. 

“What kind of host would I be if I did that?” 

“Okay, then you should've slept in bed with me,” you continued while following right on his heels. Noah was stocking the fridge with some sparkling waters that just so happened to be the same brand you always had on hand. “I would've kept my hands to myself.” 

Noah peered up at you with his infamous smirk, brows raised. He shook his head while closing the fridge and then went to continue unloading the little bit of groceries. He was wearing a black t-shirt and athletic shorts, his face flushed, leading you to believe that he had been out at the gym before. You would've loved to have watched that show. 

“I don't think I would have,” he replied honestly. 

Funny how your cheeks immediately warmed with a blush. You appreciated the candor, but what the hell were you supposed to say to that?

No, please, Noah. Completely ravish me. Ruin me. Make me take it. I want to feel it for days. 

Yeah, you didn't think that was the right route to take. Not when he was clearly on edge and you had people out there set on killing you. 

“I had to tell Jolly about what happened.” 

Your heart skipped, silence befalling you both. 

“I'm sorry,” Noah continued, his hands pressed into the kitchen island he was leaning into. “I know I promised you I wouldn't but with what happened last night…I needed the extra support.” 

You were trying your best to ignore the flexed muscles in his arms, as well as the reddened and split skin that was his knuckles. Nope, you weren't going to let him unknowingly distract you with his body. The same body you had dreamed about, the one you desperately wanted to feel on top of you. 

Fuck! No! You were supposed to be mad at him for going back on his word!

“Extra support?” You repeated, your voice small. 

“As much as I would like to be, I can't be with you at all times. So, some of the trusted guys that work for me will also be keeping an eye on you.” 

You grimaced at his word choice, head slowly shaking. You could practically see the Nocturnal mask slipping down over his face. 

“I'm not a toddler at a water park, Noah. I don't need people watching me.” 

“It's happening whether you want it to or not.” His words were stern and direct, the muscle in his jaw fluttering beneath the strain he was placing on it. 

When you said nothing after crossing your arms over your chest, he continued. 

“Someone will drive you to and from both of your jobs, as well as anywhere else you need to go. You'll stay here until I can get a safe house sorted, where a guard will also be stationed.” 

What the fuck was happening? Why was Noah suddenly talking like some secret service agent? 

“Safe house?” 

“I know it's asking a lot, but I'd also like for you to check in with me if I'm not around to see you for myself. Can you do that?” 

You stared at him, the expression on your face reading as utterly dumbfounded. 

“Who the hell are you?” Although you didn't really know Noah, not as much as you should to feel the way you did about him, this was the first time you truly viewed him as a stranger. 

He blinked a couple of times before his face softened and he pushed away from the island to close the space between you in record time. The usual confidence remained in his movements but you could see the concern written in his eyes. 

“No,” he lowered his voice to a near whisper while taking your face into his hands. “Please don't look at me like that. You've never looked at me like that.” 

Was Noah worried that you were scared of him? That's all that you could think of as you gazed up into his eyes while his thumbs brushed your cheeks. You wanted to tell him that you weren't but the words wouldn't move past your tongue. His forehead leaned down against yours, strong hands still encasing your face and keeping you close. 

“Why are you doing this for me?” You managed to finally speak, your voice now as soft as his had been. Your hands lifted to circle his wrists though not so you could push him away, but because you wanted to be closer. So, so much closer. 

Noah took in a deep breath and remained silent for a long moment. When he did speak up again, you were no more enlightened than you had been.  

“I don't know.”

X X X 

Six days had gone by and you barely saw Noah. He was busy with work, muttering something about having to receive shipments and make deliveries, but he was gone more so than he used to be. You thought it was odd that Nocturnal’s head of security was on delivery duty, but you found it best not to question him about it. Noah obviously had secrets and you weren't so naive to believe that you were meant to know them. 

You stared blankly at the dark blue backsplash of Red’s stove, condensation from your use of a burner and boiling water forming along it. You had opted to stay later than you usually did because it was better than going back to Noah’s quiet apartment. Sure, you had whichever guy was assigned to you that night, but it wasn't the same. They never talked to you, never really paid you any mind except for when Noah called and they had to verify you were okay. 

So, you were “working” late, which consisted of you making a box of macaroni and cheese for dinner. Red had long gone to bed, or so he said, though you could occasionally hear the creak of his floorboards above. Oh well. Whatever he did in the comfort of his house was his business. 

“Something smells…processed.” 

You looked up from where you were mixing the powdered cheese in with butter and milk to see Nicholas standing in the kitchen walkway, trusty Zippo lighter in hand. His bright eyes were set on you, an amused smile on his lips. 

“Got enough for two?”  The opening and closing of the lighter trailing his words. 

Chuckling, you rolled your eyes before releasing a long exhale. You didn't yet respond as you reached up into the cabinet to bring down another bowl, a silent acceptance to his desire to join you. 

“I don't want to hear one complaint about it,” you exclaimed, eying him for a brief moment. 

“Why would I ever do such a thing?”

You began to spoon the yellow coated noodles into both bowls, being careful to make each one equal. “Because I know you were raised on truffle goat cheese macaroni and bottles of wine that cost more than my rent.” 

The sound of metal scraping against the hardwood told you that Nicholas had pulled a chair out at the massive island. Followed by another because apparently he was kind enough to prepare a seat for you as well. 

“Do I sense a bit of a judgy tone?” 

“Me? Judgy? That doesn't sound right at all.” 

Since you had been spending more nights at Red’s house, you had managed to run into Nicholas way more than you would've preferred. It was awkward at first because he gave you the creeps, which he still kinda did, but at least he was willing to talk to you. You had no idea why he was at the house so often nowadays, but once again, it was just one more thing that wasn't your business. 

Were you just cursed to be around mysterious jackasses your entire life? Probably so. 

“For the record,” he spoke after you had handed him a bowl and dropped down into a bar chair a couple down from his, “I never ate anything with goat cheese. That shit is disgusting.” 

“Yeah, it tastes like two goats fucking in your mouth,” you snickered. 

Nicholas laughed along with you before the sounds faded away and all that could be heard was your tandem chewing and forks hitting the bowl. 

“Can I ask you something?”

With a sound of acknowledgement, Nicholas nodded. 

“How do you know Noah?”

There was no way the two of them knew each other just from the club because you could've felt the tension between them from another room. You knew history when you saw it. 

“We were friends as kids,” Nicholas revealed. His focus remained down on his food, the fork he held stabbing into individual noodles before bringing them to his mouth. 

“He was always pretty chill, even at a young age. Always the type to problem solve, y’know? But I was the opposite of that, so we didn't really mesh.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Were you just a problem Noah was aching to solve now? 

Nicholas pushed away from the island, the chair again making a piercing sound as it slid across the floor. He went to the large fridge and retrieved a couple of waters, one for each of you. 

“The word ‘insane' is used a lot to describe me, medically speaking. I don't see it but I'm also not the one with a PhD. But I caused the problems instead of fixing them.” Shrugging, he dropped back down into his seat and returned to his food. The way he was speaking so nonchalantly was shocking to you, especially when he was divulging so much information that you hadn't even been forced to pry from him. 

“And Noah doesn't like that sort of thing. He needs order and control. I'm sure you've realized that by now.” Nicholas flashed a devilish grin as he looked at you, his eyebrows playfully wiggling. 

Well, that surely was something you didn't want to talk about with him. 

“Either way, our families clashed and we stopped being friends.”

“Clashed?” You felt bad for asking question after question but you couldn't bring yourself to stop. Every answer he gave only produced more curiosity. 

Nicholas shifted in his seat, that repetitive amused grin overtaking his features. You were getting the same sense that you would from Noah, like something was being kept from you. Something important. 

He didn't speak again until he was done eating, the bowl in front of him thoroughly cleaned of every noodle. You were impressed, to say the least. 

“I'm going to be honest with you because I like you, okay? So listen to me very carefully.” 

Turning in his chair to face you, he leaned in closer, almost too close for comfort. If there hadn't been an empty chair between the two of you, then he would basically be in your lap at this point. You gave a slight nod, that damned curiosity noticeable in your eyes. 

“Do not trust anyone. Not me, not Noah, not Red. No one. Do you get me?” 

You opened your mouth to speak because the confusion you felt was on the verge of bubbling over, but promptly closed it when you figured nothing would quench your hunger for answers. Fuck, you were so tired of dealing with this bullshit already. It was always something. 

“I can tell that you're smart. When I say ‘no one’, I mean absolutely no one.” 

“Why should I believe you now then?” You challenged, brows raised. 

Nicholas smirked, slowly nodding. “See? I knew you were smart, just as I said.”

X X X 

Some Top 40’s pop song drifted through Melinda’s apartment a couple of nights later. You sat on the floor of her living room with your back propped against the couch, a pink coffee table in front of you which held a couple of different wine bottles atop the surface. A wine glass was also within reach but you had pushed that aside after the first pour and started drinking straight from the bottle. Melinda had arched a brow at you but hadn’t voiced her concerns. At least not yet. 

Your nerves were causing your fingers to tremble to the point that not even alcohol could calm them. Why? Because you were on the verge of telling Mel everything. The confession had been right on the tip of your tongue for the last hour but you'd always chicken out at the final second and drown out your words with the overly sweet wine you preferred. 

You didn't want to drag her into this. You'd never forgive yourself if she was harmed because of you. But you needed someone to lean on that wasn't Noah. Not because you didn't appreciate his willingness to help, but because he was edging dangerously close to the line in the sand you had created. Plus, Melinda was your best friend and you desperately needed her. 

“Whoa there, tiger,” Mel laughed as she made to reach for the wine bottle you were currently tipping back. “Why don't you take a breather and tell me what's wrong?” 

Damn, where were you even supposed to begin? You were on the run from your own father, had been forced to change your identity, and now had a few unknown men hunting you down to kill you. Not to mention the fact that you were involved with some James Bond secret service type of guy who had a killer smile, was a great kisser, and also gave you butterflies. Oh, and how could you almost forget to add that you had killed your ex-boyfriend? 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

You looked up from where you had been heavily focused on the pattern of the brightly colored rug beneath you, just to see Mel staring at you with wide eyes and her mouth dropped open. 

Wait…had you said all of that out loud? 

Your hand immediately smacked over your mouth but the damage was done. The words had been vomited out. Melinda heard every single one. 

“What?” You finally squeaked out, though your voice was muffled within your palm. 

“Are you fucking with me right now?” 

Hesitantly you shook your head, your hand slowly lowering back down to your lap. You had to clamp your hands between your thighs to stop them from noticeably shaking. 

“Your dad always gave me the heebie jeebies but what the fuck? What. The. Fuck.” 

“Why do you think I showed up on your doorstep with barely a day’s notice, asking you to call me by a different name?” 

Melinda’s brows pulled together as she briefly fell into a deep consideration over your question. “I don't know!” She finally exclaimed, her hands thrown up in defeat. “I thought you had finally just cracked or wanted to be someone else here for fun!” 

“Thank you for going along with that, by the way,” you hiccuped, now smiling at your best friend despite the deadly serious topic. 

“Hold on. Hold up. You killed Vane? Like…dead? He's gone?” 

You sheepishly nodded as you pulled your lower lip between your teeth. How did you justify what you did without fully going into all the details? 

“He wasn't a good person, Mel.”

“Did he hurt you?” She quickly cut in, her jaw clenched in preparation for an outburst they both knew she was about to have. 

Heavily sighing, you gave a single nod. “Everyday.” 

Sexual, emotional, and plain ole physical abuse had been your day to day life not so long ago. A waking nightmare you had no choice but to endure. It was honestly amazing that you hadn't thrown yourself off the Golden Gate Bridge instead of escaping across the country, although you had contemplated it more than once. The abuse had ended but the scars remained, most mental but some physical. 

Tears began pooling in Melinda’s eyes, her lower lip wobbling. “Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have left you. I would've…I would've taken you with me. What the fuck? Why would you hide that from me? How did you even hide it?” 

Well, your buzz was officially gone. 

“You know how Vane was. He never would've let that happen.”  Yeah, that pretty much summed it all up. 

While Melinda wasn’t unfortunate enough to spend extended periods of time with Vane, she had still noticed how horrible of a person he was. He never tried to hide it, no matter who was around. Vane was proud of the fact that he could scare people. He found his power within it, just as your father did. 

“Your dad…” Mel shook her head, all the information being too much for her to process so suddenly. Though her sadness had quickly flipped to anger. “I'm going to fucking kill him. I'd do the same to Vane if you hadn't already had the honor.”

“My dad doesn't know where I am.” You paused, your lips twisting in thought. “Well, he didn't. I guess he does now, though. Y’know, considering the guys that are after me.” 

While you were sure those were Vane’s men, you could assume your father now controlled them since their previous leader was dead. That probably made it worse. They wanted to avenge their beloved late boss while also following the orders of one of the most corrupt men you knew - a bad combo. 

“Noah has been helping you though?” 

You snorted a laugh as you brought the wine bottle to your awaiting mouth again. “Yeah, just look outside.”

Sitting in a dark SUV directly in front of the apartment building was Jackson, the guy Noah had put on the rotation of keeping an eye on you. He had requested to come into Mel’s apartment with you but you threatened him with bodily harm if he didn't sit in the car and wait. You must've been somewhat convincing since he obliged. Reluctantly, but you still considered it to be a win. 

“Okay, I'm seeing a guy smoking and staring at us. Should I be worried or?” 

“No, it's his shift to watch me. Noah is very…thorough apparently.”

Melinda looked back at you with a wicked smirk, her tears now long gone as her thoughts drifted elsewhere. “Just how thorough are we talking?” 

You groaned as you rolled your eyes and held a middle finger up to your friend. “I wouldn't know about that. We haven't done anything more than kiss.” 

“Are you suddenly the Virgin fucking Mary? What's the hold up?” 

You stared at Melinda with an expression that read ‘are you fucking serious?’. A few seconds passed as you waited to see if she would see the error of her question but your best friend was none the wiser. 

“I've kinda been distracted with the big as fuck target on my back, Mel.” 

“Shit, you're right. Sorry.” She shook her head after lightly hitting the side of it with the palm of her hand. “Okay, but you've at least felt it, right? Because I just know that man is working with something great.” 

How the hell had you gotten onto this topic? 

Your response to Melinda was in the form of a side eye and a shy smirk as you brought a newly opened wine bottle up for a swallow. “Maybe,” you shrugged. “Let's just say he's very proportionate.” 

It would've been impossible for you to not feel exactly what he was “working with” the night he had you pressed up against your apartment door. You still thought about how hard he had gotten and the way it felt when he rolled his hips between your open thighs. The sounds he had made were the perfect cherry on top. It had actually been on repeat in your head that very morning when you were showering while your fingers just so happened to be assisting in getting you off. 

“Fucccckkkk,” Mel groaned as she tossed herself onto the couch behind you. “I love a tall man. And he's, like, soooo tall. Those hands? You're lucky.” 

“We aren't talking about it!” It was already bad enough that Noah was still holding out on you. You were willing to bend over for him anytime, any place, but he still hadn't even kissed you since that night. Maybe there was a flirty comment here and there, but that's where it stopped. You were beginning to think maybe he wasn't interested anymore. You couldn't say you blamed him considering all the baggage you came with. 

Just some thoughts you were doomed to have again and again. 

“When did you become such a prude?!” Melinda teased, lightly poking the back of your head. 

“I'm not a prude!” You quickly defended as you shot a glare at her from over your shoulder. “I just don't want to talk about his dick!”

Well, you hadn't wanted to until you finished off another glass or two worth of wine. Once that happened you were completely free to blab about anything. You leaned over Melinda’s coffee table not even half an hour later, a fit of giggles constantly escaping you as you doodled yet another comically large drawing of a dick. Mel was doing the same on the opposite side of the table, but she had opted to place a little cowboy hat on the head of her dick picture. Scattered on the tabletop were other little drawings of cocks, each one with their own personality. 

“Oh god, no!” You gasped, feigning terror and covering your eyes as your best friend held up her newest creation for you to ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ over. “I'm just imagining it saying ‘yeehaw, buckaroo’ when I get down on my knees for it and that's terrible!” 

“I would dry up like the goddamn Sahara.” 

You erupted into a fit of laughter that had you falling back and grabbing your stomach. It was like you had never seen or heard something so funny before and you had all the alcohol to thank for that. 

Somehow you managed to hear your phone ringing over both yours and Melinda's cackling which sent you stumbling across the living room to grab it from where you had dropped your things hours ago. You didn't even look at who it was before you were answering in a sing-song voice. 

“Hellooo?”

Noah’s voice came through immediately, his tone stern as he said your name. 

“Where are you?” 

“Well, Mr. Grumpy Pants, I'm at Melinda's still.” Laughter cut through your response as Mel turned the drawing vertically and pretended to make it dance amongst the sea of other crudely drawn dicks. 

“Are you drunk?” 

“Maybe…just a little bit.”

Noah could be heard heavily sighing from the other end of the call and for some reason his annoyance had you giggling to yourself. 

“I'm coming to get you,” he stated after taking a deep breath. 

“What? No! I'm fine here. Plus, your little watch dog is still outside.” Steps were taken to the window so you could look down at where Jackson still sat. He was in his car now but his eyes were looking up at you. If you thought Noah was annoyed, then Jackson was on the verge of blasting off to the moon with only his aggravation fueling him. 

“It's after two in the morning. I'm coming to get you.” 

Noah parroted himself which only let you know that he was holding back what he truly wanted to say. It was a good thing you found it kinda hot when he got angry or else he really would've been killing your mood. 

“Don't be such a fun sucker!” You laughed, both at Noah and the newly drawn dick Melinda was holding up to you again. This one looked like a mermaid, complete with a seashell bra. 

“I'll be there in ten minutes.” 

The call then ended and you could only roll your eyes. 

“See?” You motioned to your phone as Mel arched a questioning brow. “I told you he's always so tense.” 

True to his word, Noah was knocking on the apartment door ten minutes later. Jackson was no longer posted outside, more than likely relieved of his duty as soon as Noah had pulled in. 

Melinda answered the door wearing a large grin and holding up her drawing of a princess cock so it was the first thing Noah would see. You could barely make out the furrow of his brow from behind your friend, but just that was enough to send you spiraling into another fit of laughter. 

“Welcome!” Mel beamed with glee. 

“Is that…a dick with a crown?”

You were then on your feet and approaching your best friend, your own amused smile seen from over her shoulder. Noah’s eyes shifted to you and you briefly felt bad for how tired he looked. The long hours at Nocturnal were clearly getting to him. 

“It's actually a tiara,” Mel corrected. 

“Do you not like it?” 

“It's…great,” he sighed, figuring that agreeing would help move this along faster. “Are you ready?” 

“No,” you shook your head, eyes once again rolling as you turned to grab your things. “But I guess I'll have to be.” 

Okay, so maybe you turned into a bit of a brat when you drank too much. There wasn't really much more to it than that. 

Noah stepped into the doorway and immediately began to assess his surroundings. His eyes squinted when he found all the dick drawings on the coffee table, as if trying to make sure he was really seeing it. 

“Is this what girls do together? Draw dicks?”

“They do when they're not getting any,” Melinda murmured under her breath before sending a wink your way. 

Your eyes widened slightly but you ignored her comment and instead slung your bag over your shoulder in a dramatic show. Noah’s jaw was clenched as you approached him, again wearing a wide smile all thanks to your beloved wine. He was very much unamused but you knew he wouldn't be able to stay mad at you for long. 

After saying your goodbyes you were trudging along beside Noah, only slightly struggling to keep pace with his long legs and eager steps. Your humming was all that sounded between the two of you, the silence becoming a bit of a concern. Maybe he was actually mad this time. Fuck. That made you feel like a teenage girl being picked up from a party by her dad. 

Gross. 

“You know,” you began after hitting the ground level and Noah made sure you were secure in the passenger seat of his overpriced car. “I didn't ask you to come get me.” 

“Can we not do this? It's been a long night and I just want to get home.”

You had never been good at keeping your mouth shut when you were drunk, so his plea was met by deaf ears. 

“I told you that I don't need a body guard. I would've been perfectly fine staying over at Mel’s.” 

Noah’s jaw further tensed and his finger tapped against the steering wheel as he pulled out of the apartment complex and drove down the road at a much higher speed than the posted limit. You didn't even want to look at him but you couldn't stop yourself because, well, he was always a sight to behold. His sleek all black clothing told you that he had only just left Nocturnal despite going in before noon, so that explained his heavy lids and the dark circles forming beneath his eyes, as well as his less than desirable attitude. 

Man really needed some time off. Maybe a nice vacation where he could get some sun and relaxation. You held onto the fantasy of being right there with him on a beach, both of you with a coconut cocktail in hand. Maybe you would even get him to rub sunscreen on your bo–

“And then I wouldn't have been able to sleep because I would've been up all night worrying about your well being.” 

Well, there went that perfect fantasy. Normally his words would've made you swoon, but with your drunken state you were borderline furious. Again, you hadn't asked for any of this. All you wanted was for him to keep your secret. Noah was the one all gung-ho about keeping you safe as well. So why did you feel as if you were being punished for it? 

“But why? I've managed to keep myself alive before we even met, and I'm sure I can continue to.” 

Noah huffed a chuckle while shaking his head. “You have no idea who you're up against.” 

“Oh, I know exactly the kind of men that are after me. Did you forget that I was surrounded by them for years? Believe me, King, I fucking know.” 

His head was quick to whip around to stare at you, fury flaring in his eyes. You knew you were being an idiot for pushing his buttons but you for some reason couldn't make yourself stop. Maybe you were just a glutton for punishment. 

“What did you just call me?” 

You heavily exhaled through your nose, your lips pursed and your eyes set forward on the mostly empty road ahead of you. “You heard me,” you shrugged. “You want to wear your Nocturnal mask outside the club? Then I'm going to call you by your Nocturnal name.” 

It was rather obvious that he was fed up with your antics but he continued to press. “What are you talking about?” 

Noah stepped a little too hard on the brake as the car approached a red light, sending your body jerking forward ever so slightly. You cut your eyes at him and adjusted your position in the seat before answering. 

“The fucking mask you wear when you're at the club. King and Noah are not the same.” 

He laughed. He actually fucking laughed, the kind of laugh that had him gripping the steering wheel tight between both hands as he leaned back to lessen the pressure on his stomach and rest his head against the seat. You didn't know why it was so funny to him but you didn't currently care enough to ask. 

“We're very much one in the same, sweetheart. You don't think ‘Hot Neighbor’ would shoot a man through the head to keep you safe?” There was now a devilish - yet also mocking - smirk pulled across his lips and you weren't sure if you were scared or turned on by it. What the hell was wrong with you? You knew Noah was dangerous. He had probably killed more people than you could count on both of your hands and while you didn't like to think about that side of him, you still knew it was him. That wasn't lost on you as he seemed to believe. 

And if they were one in the same, as he claimed, then why was he so taken back by you referring to him as his Nocturnal persona? 

“King would and so would Noah, both without a second thought. Know why?” 

With the red light still glaring through the windshield, Noah reached over to grip your chin. His fingers were gentle despite the argument you were having, but he still used enough force to turn your head to look at him. It was nothing like the brutal jerk Vane would've used and had many times. Back then you would've flinched from Noah just extending a hand towards you, but now all you wanted to do was lean in closer to him. 

“Why?” You murmured, his eyes staring directly into yours with an intensity that made you press your thighs together. 

“Because I'm Noah and I'm King. There wouldn't be one without the other. You know what else?” He was slowly closing the distance between your faces, his hand releasing your chin only to trace down your neck before loosely securing his long fingers around the base of your throat - something he had a habit of doing. The gesture was possessive and you knew immediately that your panties were soaked. 

Noah didn't wait for you to respond before he handed you the answer. “I care about you and my main mission right now is to make sure you. Are. Safe.” 

His lips were then crashing against yours in a hard kiss that had your heart pounding and your breath stalling in your lungs. This man definitely didn't half-ass anything. The sensations that coursed through your body from a mere kiss were electric and practically made you putty in his hands. It didn't last for long, though, because the traffic light was soon turning green, but Noah still gave your neck a squeeze before he was pulling away and focusing his attention back on the road. 

Well, fuck. 

An hour later you were freshly showered and sitting up in Noah��s bed. Neither of you had spoken since your argument in the car except for when he asked if you were hungry upon entering his apartment. You declined his offer of food, leaving him to fix whatever he was in the mood for as you opted to stand beneath scalding water instead. 

Noah’s words kept replaying in your head on an endless loop that was causing a headache to form behind your eyes. Well, maybe it was all the wine you drank too, but that was beside the point. Was he truly willing to shoot someone for you? Not just to wound them, but actually shoot to kill? The thought alone made you shiver and you pulled the blankets up over your legs to help rid yourself of the chill. 

Vane never would've killed someone for you, but he surely would've because of you. He looked at you as property with his name branded everywhere, whereas Noah wanted no harm to come your way because he cared. While you were aware of their similarities, they were still drastically different and you hated that your mind kept wanting to compare the two. 

“Just going to grab some clothes and shower.” Noah softly spoke as he entered his room and immediately went for the dresser. He retrieved a random graphic tee from the top of the pile and then a pair of gray sweatpants, his eyes shifting to you when he slid the drawer closed. 

“Okay,” you barely whispered, your fingers twisting around strands of your wet hair. 

“Can we talk tomorrow?” he asked from where he stood in the doorway between his bedroom and the bathroom. He had almost closed the door separating the two but turned around at the last second to blurt out the question. 

Lifting your gaze to meet with his, you gave a hesitant nod. 

“I know the sooner the better but I'm exhausted and need to sleep.” 

“It's okay,” you sheepishly smiled. “Talking tomorrow is fine.” 

Honestly, you hated “talking” but you weren't going to deny Noah of what he wanted. You also didn't know what he wanted to talk about and that obviously piqued your curiosity. Could be your living situation or whatever this relationship was you two shared, or possibly even things about Nocturnal. No matter the topic, you had no reason to turn him down. 

With a single nod, Noah shut the bathroom door and a few seconds later you heard the water to the shower cut on. Taking in a deep breath, you turned off the side lamp and shimmed down into his bed, shifting around until you were comfortable. Or as comfortable as you could get. You still felt odd with Noah sleeping on the couch and it had been so long since he was in his own bed that it didn't even smell like him anymore. The comfort you previously held onto when wrapped in his blankets was gone and you feared you missed it. 

“I can hear you tossing and turning from the bathroom.” Noah was tugging on his shirt from the now open doorway, allowing you a quick glimpse of his heavily tattooed torso. You didn't try to avert your gaze elsewhere because that would've been a travesty. He deserved to be admired. If only you could do it with both your eyes and hands. 

How much time had even passed since he went to shower? You could've sworn it was only a couple of minutes but it must've been much longer than that judging by how steamy the bathroom was. Noah clearly liked his showers extra hot just as you did. 

“Will you sleep in here tonight?” You dropped your arms down to the bed with a defeated sigh and gave him the saddest look you possibly could. 

“I really don't thin–”

“Please, Noah?” You cut him off, the desperation heavy in your voice. It wasn't because you were going to try anything - you already knew having sex the first time and being drunk was off the table - but because you needed him close. You hated that he spoke to you as if you were the most important person to him currently, but then constantly distanced himself. 

It fucking hurt and had your mind reeling in all directions. 

Noah didn't respond, but he did step forward and lift the blankets enough for him to slip beneath. You slid over to the right side of the bed, allowing him ample space so that you weren't crowding him. Once he was settled, you were both laying on your backs and staring up at the ceiling. Silence again drifted between you. 

“I fucked up,” you then admitted. 

The first time you were sharing a bed with Noah and you were not only drunk, but you were also going to ruin it by spilling your guts. Hopefully only in a metaphorical sense and not actually. Thanks, wine. 

“I told Mel about…what's happening.” 

“Shit,” Noah breathed out. You didn't have to look at him to know he was pinching the bridge of his nose. He had a way of doing that when he was frustrated. 

“I just…was tired of keeping it from her and I needed someone to talk to about it. No offense.” 

“No, I get it. She's your best friend.” His fingers drummed along his chest, soft thumps that you could barely make out. “I can't be upset with you when I did the same thing.” 

Yeah, you were still a little irritated about him telling Jolly, but there was nothing that could be done about it now. Maybe it would be for the best in the long run. 

Needing to talk about anything else, you opted to change the subject. “Do you work tomorrow?” 

“No, it's my one day off since we're closed on Sundays.” 

“Maybe we can go by my apartment? There's things I need to get that I forgot.” 

For example, the thousands of dollars beneath the floorboards of your closet. You didn't know how you were going to explain that to Noah but you didn't like just leaving it there. You needed to have it within reach. 

Noah yawned, but you could see him nodding his head through the darkness. “Yeah, that's fine. We’ll swing by.” 

You were tempted to say something else just so you could hear his voice a bit more, but the sound of his breathing evening out let you know that he was drifting off to sleep. Turning your head to look at Noah, your eyes now mostly adjusted to the dark, you were transfixed by how perplexed he appeared. How could someone still be so tense even when sleeping? 

Frowning to yourself, you carefully turned onto your side so that you were facing him. Your upper body angled just enough until your cheek was ever so slightly resting on his shoulder. There were a few seconds where you thought maybe this was an odd thing to do - cuddling up to Noah as he slept - but the shift of his hand onto your bent leg immediately caused those thoughts to dissipate. Your heart skipped a beat, a fluttering starting in your stomach that you could only blame on those damned butterflies. Weren't you too old for those? Your body clearly thought otherwise when it came to him. 

Finally, the calming scent that was just so Noah eased you back into what you could only consider to be tranquility. An intoxicating mix of mint and pine. Your thoughts slowed, the weight on your shoulders lifting, even if for just a night. Whether Noah was truly asleep or simply faking it, you didn't care. If it was the latter then that meant he wanted to comfort you however he could in the moment. But if he was actually asleep? Well, that only meant you eased his mind just as he did yours, so much that he was seeking you out while unconscious. 

X X X 

Don't trust Noah. Don't trust Noah. Don't trust Noah. 

Trust no one. No one. 

Nicholas’ warning was what swirled through your brain the following morning. You were silent as you stared down at a sleeping Noah, his head somehow finding your chest in the middle of the night, that being where it currently still rested. You never would've pegged him as a cuddler, but alas, he was cuddling you. 

If you were to trust no one, then how were you expected to trust what Nicholas had said? It bothered you that he hadn't given you any reasons as to why you shouldn't trust Noah or Red, specifically the former, but since Nicholas had known both much longer than yourself, then maybe you should heed his warning. Or at least take him seriously enough to be on the lookout for yourself, right? 

It was just so hard when Noah was like this. His body was radiating a heat into yours that you only wanted to dig deeper into, his scent still clouding your senses and easily becoming your new favorite indulgence. He was your favorite indulgence. Fuck, you were so screwed. Allowing your eyes to drift away from him, you instead focused them briefly on the ceiling. You had only been awake for maybe ten minutes and Noah hadn't moved a muscle since. This didn't surprise you considering how utterly exhausted he had appeared the night before. He was clearly due for some sleeping in. 

Just as you were closing your eyes to attempt another hour or so of sleep, you felt Noah’s fingers gently massaging into where they rested at your side. Was he awake? Or simply dreaming? You remained unmoving, opting to wait to see which option it could be. Only when you felt Noah shift a bit did you realize he was awake, but barely. He took in a deep breath, his shoulders rolling into a stretch, though his fingers continued to gently squeeze and rub down to your hip. 

“You're awake,” you whispered through the silence. You had expected Noah’s hand to stall but there was no hesitation in the way he touched you. How he was always so confident in everything he did, you would never know. But damn did you want to learn from him. 

“Mhmm,” Noah barely hummed a response. His cheek nuzzled into your chest, the warmth of his breath wafting across your breast and immediately causing your nipples to harden beneath the shirt you wore. One of his again, which Noah seemed to like. He had stared at you for far too long the first time you emerged wearing his clothes, explaining that you had forgotten to grab pajamas in your haste to pack a bag. He had zero objections. 

With your heart beginning to pound within your chest, you blushed. Noah without a doubt could hear the effect he had on you and maybe that's what urged him forward. The hand he had on your hip slipped beneath the fabric of the t-shirt to begin rubbing slow circles across your bare skin, working his way up at a tantalizing pace that had you pressing your thighs together for even the smallest amount of relief. 

“H-how did you sleep?” Fuck, that was embarrassing. You were already stammering over your words just from him touching you. Obviously you were touch starved, especially from someone you actually wanted to feel, but you didn't want it to be so embarrassingly obvious. 

Chills formed along your skin in the wake of his wandering fingers. He stroked along your stomach and over your waist, up to the valley between your breasts, and then over to tease the only one he could reach in this position. Your eyes fluttered closed as a fingertip circled your nipple before giving it a small pinch, just hard enough to force a whimper from your lips. Already your body was on fire with the need you had for him. An anticipation that had been building up since the very moment you laid your eyes on him only a few short months ago. 

Shit, was this how you were going to have him for the first time? Your hair a mess and with unbrushed teeth? At least he wasn't trying to kiss you, though you were sure you wouldn't be strong enough to reject it if he were to try. Not to mention how stopping him so you could go brush your teeth would completely ruin the moment. So, you were going to try not to think about it. Just as you were trying very hard to get Nicholas’ voice out of your head as well. 

Noah deeply inhaled as he palmed your breast, gently kneading into the mound. His short nails pricked your sensitive flesh, just enough to have you arching up against him in a desperate yet silent plea for more. As if being able to hear what you wanted, Noah released you, but not before giving your nipple another pinch and a firm tug. His hand was then traveling back down your body, curving over your hip to find the band of your panties. The shirt you wore had been long enough to cover everything, so you never even thought to further clothe yourself when Noah had crawled into bed with you. You were thankful you hadn't because you didn't currently want to deal with awkwardly shedding the layers. 

A shiver raced down your spine when his fingers dipped lower, making a slow trail between your thighs, but still over your panties much to your dismay. On instinct your thighs fell open and Noah immediately cupped your pussy with enough pressure to make your clit throb and your hips roll into his touch. You swore you could feel the way he smirked, obviously pleased with the reaction. 

I can't get enough of the way your body responds to me. Isn’t that what he had said only hours ago when he had you pressed against your apartment door? 

“Please?” You whimpered as he began to stroke his fingers along your pussy, pressing up against where he knew your clit to be every time he made it back to the top, only to return to featherlight touches again. Your head was already spinning and you were going to go crazy if you didn't have some sort of release soon. 

Noah, on the other hand, seemed like a patient man, the type who wanted to draw out your pleasure, but you could sense he was just as eager as you right then. Was that also his hard cock you felt pressed into your side? 

As silent as ever, he merely pushed your panties to the side and finally touched you in the ways you had been fantasizing about. He actually groaned when he felt how wet you were for him and his hips jerked forward slightly, but it was more than enough for you to have your answer. That was definitely his cock you felt and you swore it was even harder than it had been mere seconds ago. 

He began to circle your clit slowly, every slip of his fingers making you softly moan and your chest rise and fall faster. Already you could feel the pressure building within you, your hips writhing under his touch, seeking out more. You had one hand gripping his shirt in your fist at the middle of his back, the other doing the same to the sheets. You were trying your best to keep your body under control, but it was impossible when Noah was touching you. He made you feel things no one else ever had, and to think he had barely even had his hands on you. 

The sudden pressure of his fingers sinking into you broke your train of thought. Your head fell back against the pillows and your hips rolled into his hand, forcing those two long fingers of his even deeper. You didn't want to control yourself anymore. No, you wanted to fall headfirst into Noah and whatever this was between you. You could trust him. Nicholas just didn't know what he was talking about. 

As your thighs trembled around his hand, you opened your eyes so you could glance down to watch his tattooed fingers disappear again and again. He pumped them into your pussy at a steady pace, curling them just right to have you begging for more. “Don't stop,” you gasped, your hips twitching every time the heel of his hand ground against your swollen and needy clit. 

Noah was reaching depths in your cunt that your own fingers couldn't and you felt nothing but bliss because of it. Your walls fluttered around his fingers and tightened more the closer you were to your orgasm. Even Noah’s own breath was coming in soft pants along your chest, his cock rubbing against your side. You so badly wanted to reach into his sweatpants and have him cum in your hand, but he had made it clear that this was about you. 

You pouted when he pulled his fingers from you, just so he could play with your clit some more. He pinched and rubbed the nerves, just as he had done to your nipple, though now with more vigor. You gasped and moaned his name, the tight circles he made nearly sending you into a frenzy. Right when you felt your end coming, he stopped, forcing his skilled fingers back hard into your dripping pussy. It was all too much. The pressure was becoming almost painful as you chased your release. 

Noah kept his fingers buried deep inside of you, no longer thrusting, but instead stroking along that golden spot in a way that had you seeing stars. Your body tensed and your thighs closed around his hand the very moment you shattered. Every nerve in your body went off at the same time, your pussy convulsing around his fingers and tightening like a vise to keep him in place. You scratched at his back, your nails sinking in deep, uncaring of the wounds he'd be left with. 

You were sure you also yelled out his name in the midst of your release. Possibly a few times. 

How the fuck was he so good with just his hands? He didn't even stop as your orgasm raced through you, his fingers still working you to the brink of insanity so you could ride out the pleasure. Your body trembled and your legs shook, your hips still moving against his hand so you could rub your clit along his palm in the most intense way. When your legs finally stilled and loosened from around his hand, Noah then slowed the pumping of his fingers. He eased out of your still fluttering pussy and you whimpered in response, every inch of you now overly sensitive. 

Noah raised up over you, his eyes finally greeting yours. He studied your face, which you knew was flushed, your eyes heavy but bright thanks to that amazing wake up. His lips formed into a faint smirk before he looked away to instead admire his fingers that were glistening with your arousal. You again felt his cock twitch against your side but he seemed unconcerned by it. 

“Good morning,” Noah said for the first time while carefully untangling himself from you and slipping off the bed, his fingers at his mouth as he cleaned you off of them with casual yet hungry swipes of his tongue. 

That image would forever be burned into your mind. 

“Morning…” you breathlessly murmured, watching him disappear into the bathroom. Not before noticing the rather large tent that was in his sweatpants, though it wasn't like he made any attempts to conceal it. God, he was always so confident. And from what you could see, he had every reason to be. 

You weren't sure how long you stared at the halfway closed bathroom door, but when Noah finally emerged again, the tent in his sweats was gone and he looked your way with a well rested smile. Unfortunately, you couldn't return to the smile, because you had grown more and more confused the longer you had sat alone with your thoughts. 

“What was that?” You were no longer shaking, finally, your body settled back into its natural state. This meant you weren't tripping over your words anymore when trying to exude even an ounce of the same confidence Noah had. 

Noah arched an inquisitive brow while pulling his anime graphic tee from his body. With his sweats sitting low on his hips, you were graced with the perfect view of his bare torso. Your teeth sunk into your lower lip, your gaze slipping down his body without shame. You wanted to trace every tattoo he had with your tongue and find out which one made him shiver the most. Fuck, he had ruined you just from making you cum once. 

“What was what?” He went to the closet to retrieve a plain black t-shirt from the mass of other black clothing. You assumed this is where he kept his Nocturnal clothes. On the opposite side of the room from his regular day to day clothing…interesting…

“That,” you motioned back towards the bed behind your shoulder, your voice stern since he wanted to play dumb for whatever reason. “You're just going to finger me and then act like everything is normal?” 

Noah’s brows knitted and he paused, the black shirt he held still clasped in his hands. “Are things not normal between us now?” 

He seemed genuinely confused and, okay, maybe you felt a little bad about it but you were also confused. Weren't you? No way were you making this weird…right? That was a damn good question he had asked, though. 

“No. Yes…I don't know.” 

Setting his shirt aside, he took light steps until he was standing in front of where you still sat on the bed. Noah extended a hand out to gently stroke your jaw before his fingers shifted through your messy hair and then stalled at the back of your neck. Your eyes were set up on his, your heart again beginning to race due to how close his half naked body was to yours.  

Noah leaned down, his lips barely brushing yours with every word he spoke. “I'm not going to act like it didn't happen, if that's what you’re worried about,” his eyes searched yours. “Believe me, I wouldn't be able to ignore the way your tight pussy squeezed around my fingers even if I wanted to.” 

His nose lightly brushed yours before he captured your lips for a tender kiss. It didn't last for nearly as long as you would have wanted, but you knew it was for the best so neither of you got carried away. You already wanted to rip his clothes off and have your way with him after the way he just spoke to you. It made your thighs clench and your lower stomach do a flip. 

“And the way you taste?” A groan rose to the back of his throat, both of his hands firmly holding your face again. “So fucking sweet and perfect.” His lips again fell to yours, the pressure behind the kiss easily would've made your knees give out had you not been perched on the bed. Your fingers danced along the bare skin of his chest and stomach, just as you had dreamed of doing, as your tongue moved in tandem with his own. His mouth still tasted just as amazing as it had the night before and you were immediately addicted. You needed more. 

Unfortunately, Noah had other plans. He slowly pulled back, both thumbs ghosting over your cheeks before he released you completely. A small step back was taken, giving himself enough room to pull his black shirt on, as well as black jeans after losing his sweatpants. 

“I have to do a couple of things and then I'll be back. You'll be okay, right?” 

Of course you would be. It wasn't like you really had a choice, though. 

“I thought we were going to my apartment?” 

You stood from the bed and stepped up to him, your fingers trailing the length of his arm. You didn't want him to leave, but you knew he had something with work to do despite claiming it was his day off. 

“I'll only be an hour or two and then we’ll go. I promise.”

Nodding, you allowed Noah to pull you in closer so he could then press his lips to the top of your head. You responded with a gentle smile because while you didn't want him to go, you weren't going to be childish and beg him to stay or ask if you could tag along. There had to be some separation. You knew this. 

“Jackson will be outside, okay? He’ll be here in seconds if anything happens, especially if you don't answer his check ins.”

Yeah…you were pretty bad at that, but only because you had a terrible habit of leaving your phone lying anywhere and everywhere. 

Noah called out his goodbye to you after you had flopped back against his bed with full intentions on going back to sleep. What better way to pass the time than that? Unfortunately, sleep never took you. Not completely. You had dozed off here and there, but eventually you awoke after only half an hour and decided to shower. Also, you couldn't believe you had let Noah kiss you without you first brushing your teeth. Ugh. 

After your shower, you dressed in black leggings and another one of Noah’s shirts. You had clothes to wear out and about, but there was something about wearing his that made you feel safer. They were also extremely comfortable and smelled like him - two of your favorite things. Dropping back onto the couch, you let your mind melt away for a bit without whatever television shows you could find. You even attempted one of Noah’s animes he loved so much, and although you didn't understand what was going on, you still found it entertaining. 

Nearly two hours had passed when you looked at the time on your phone for the fifth time. Not even a text from Noah? That was odd. 

Pulling up your messages, you went to the one labeled “GUARD DOG 1” and began to type. 

YOU: Nothing from Noah? 

A few seconds passed before the gray circles appeared to indicate Jackson’s typing. 

GUARD DOG 1: He got pulled away again. He should be leaving shortly. 

Ugh. So much for getting to spend a day with just him. 

GUARD DOG 1: Need anything? 

YOU: No, I'm good. Want a mini pizza? 

GUARD DOG 1: I've got a PopTart and some chips. I'm set. 

The couch is where you remained for another hour. Then another. You were becoming angry at this point. Mostly because he couldn't even spare a second to message or call you himself, but had Jackson doing it every half hour. You kept telling yourself to not be mad because he was working. But what the fuck could be so important at a nightclub that he left you for so long after making you a promise? 

When another thirty minutes drifted by, you had had enough. You pushed away from the couch and slid your shoes on, then began to rummage through your bag until you found the keys to your apartment. If Noah wasn't going to take you, then you would take yourself. The only reason why you had asked him to in the first place was because you knew he wouldn't want you to go alone. He never wanted you to go anywhere alone anymore. 

Simmering in your anger, you exited the safety of his apartment and made a beeline for your own. There were two routes you could take: outside across the small courtyard that connected to the sidewalk that separated your buildings or you could go up a few floors and take the breezeway. You opted for the latter because it didn't run the risk of Jackson seeing you. You had put that guy through enough already. 

You politely smiled at other tenants when they passed, a few with familiar faces and some not, though they didn't appear to be any sort of threat. You hated that this was how you thought of people now, constantly wondering if they were employed by your father and after you. Maybe you should leave the city. Wouldn't that make it easier for everyone? Something told you Noah would never allow it now, though. And if you ran away in the middle of the night, wouldn't he just be able to find you? That thought caused your stomach to flip again. Something about it made you shiver, but not with fear. 

Pushing all of those thoughts aside, your steps began to slow as you approached your apartment. It didn't take you nearly as long to unlock the door as it had the night before, simply because you didn't have Noah pressed into your back and kissing your neck. Honestly, that was kind of a bummer. Taking in a deep breath, you held it in as you gently nudged the door open. The disaster remained just where you had left it, the creeping silence making it all the more terrible. 

“Fuck,” you murmured to yourself during the first step inside you took. You opted to leave the door cracked, just because that connection to the outside world for some reason made you feel safer. You knew it was ridiculous, but what did you care? 

“Ignore it all,” you continued to whisper to yourself. You weren't here to inspect the damage or wallow in your pity. You came for one thing and you needed to remain on task so you could get in and get out as quickly as possible. It would be a few minutes before Jackson would call to check in again, so your goal was to be back in Noah's apartment by then. 

Rushing back to your bedroom, you flung your closet doors open and immediately went for an overnight bag on the top shelf. Quick. You had to be quick. You dropped to your knees, fingertips grazing the hardwood until you found the floorboard you had pried up many times before. You dug your nails beneath the wood and repeated the same motions until the wood edged up enough for you to slip your fingers beneath it. It was hollow in this area, for reasons unknown to you. Maybe another tenant had hidden things in the same spot in the past. 

You lifted another board to give yourself enough room to retrieve the opaque container you had the money stashed away in. $300,000 to be exact, money you had stolen from Vane after your fight to the death with him. You always thought large amounts like this would be impossibly heavy, but the bills fit easily into your overnight bag and weighed no more than seven or eight pounds. Who would've thought? 

As you were loading the money into the bag, you heard the creak of a floorboard. The sound immediately had you on alert. Your motions stalled, your eyes wide, ears listening out for any other sound. No other noise came, so maybe you were just imagining it. It was your anxiety getting the best of you. Shaking your head, you continued with the task at hand as fast as you could. Bundles of fifties and hundreds were shoved into the bag one after the other, again and again until your fingers were brushing the bottom of the container. 

Finally, you had it all. 

You carefully placed the container back beneath the floor and replaced the boards to their rightful location. The last one had just slid into place when you heard the same creak again, followed by what sounded like shards of glass being stepped on. 

“Hello?” You called out, your heart pounding within your chest. It was from both the adrenaline and the fear you now felt. “Jackson?” 

No answer. Just another piece of glass scraping against the floor in the living room. 

“Noah? Is that you?” 

No, he knew better than to sneak up on you like this. He would never do that. He would've yelled your name as soon as he stepped into the apartment. 

With shaky hands you hauled the bag over your shoulder with all intentions of running to the front door. When you looked down the hallway, though, there was a tall, dark figure in your path. You froze, fear coursing through your veins. That wasn't Jackson or Noah, but instead a person you had wished to never see again. 

This man was taller than Noah, with broad shoulders and thick arms. He was bald, which you were easily able to make out even in the distance that separated you, intricate tattoos covering his head. His name was Hawk, one of Vane’s right hand men that did all of his biddings, no matter how horrible. He had been present for many of Vane’s atrocities against you and now there he was, standing in your apartment. 

“You're a very hard girl to find,” he breathed, the joy he got out of this evident in his tone. 

“That's typically how it goes when trying not to be found,” you shot back while reaching for your phone in your pocket. 

“I wouldn't do that,” Hawk took a step forward. “Or else your little guard downstairs is going to get a bullet through his head.” 

“Don't you dare,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your eyes narrowing at this monster of a man. 

Hawk laughed, a few more steps then taken towards you, which you took the same amount backwards. It wasn't like you had anywhere to go unless you wanted to jump out the window. It would surely end in your death but that was better than being at the hand of Hawk and whoever else was waiting for you. 

“What do you want? The money? You can fucking have it.” You shrugged the bag off your shoulder and dropped it to the floor, allowing him the chance to snag it. Hawk didn't even look at the bag, though. His sights were set firmly on you. 

“You think he gives a shit about that money? No, baby, he wants you.” 

Of course your father didn't want the money. He had enough to last multiple lifetimes and then some. 

You fell silent, both you and Hawk staring each other down, daring the other to make the first move. It would be easier for you to escape now that you didn't have the money on your shoulder, but fuck, it was going to hurt having to leave it behind.  

Without a thought you ran for the mountain of a man, your body easily dipping below the height of his arm as you squeezed by him. Hawk reached for you, one large hand securing around your waist and pulling you down with enough momentum to send you falling to the ground. The wind was briefly knocked out of you and you remained on the floor, desperately trying to gain a breath while ignoring the pain in your back where you had landed. 

“You should've made this easy for both of us,” he snarled, his large form standing over you, a foot on either side of your hips. 

You coughed a few times as your lungs ached to expand, your eyes frantically searching for anything littering the floor that you could protect yourself with. You figured it would be simple since your apartment was a mess, but what were you to do with little pieces of glass and pillow stuffing? 

“I have to bring you in alive, but he didn't say anything about unharmed.” 

Hawk leaned down and gripped your shoulders to force your body up. You then quickly shoved your hand into his face, a palm full of broken glass pressed into his skin. You twisted and turned your hand, ignoring the pain that you were inflicting on yourself at the same time, all to embed the glass as deep as you could. Hawk yelled out, blood now dripping down his face, but it wasn't enough to make him fully lose his concentration. 

No, he was still coherent enough to send a fist flying into the side of your head. Your body met the floor again, blackness dancing before your eyes on impact. You were briefly dazed, just long enough for Hawk to find his bearings and begin reaching for you once more. 

“No!” You yelled, your hands hitting against his, your legs kicking beneath him. You needed to fight him off however he could, even though deep down you knew he was going to take you. That didn't mean you were going to make the task simple. “Get away from me! He's going to kill you!” 

Hawk tossed his head back and laughed as soon as he had your wrists pinned down above your head. “Who's going to kill me? That pretty boy you've been spending your time with? I can't say I'm scared, baby.” 

The sound of your phone ringing cut through Hawk’s laughter and you both paused. It only took a couple of seconds for you to begin squirming again, desperately trying to pull a hand free so you could answer the call you knew had Jackson on the other end. It was time for your check in. 

Your knee collided with Hawk’s crotch, leaving him stunned. He huffed out a heavy breath and his body tensed, giving you just enough time to force your foot into his knee with a crack, sending him rolling to the ground. You grabbed your phone from your back pocket, the screen broken from the fall you had taken, but you didn't care. You could still see that it was Jackson. 

“Jackson!” You yelled as soon as you accepted the call while trying your best to pull yourself to your feet. Hawk was right behind you, though. His hand secured around your ankle and you again met the hardwood floor with a loud thud. 

“I'm coming up!” Jackson hollered. How did he know where you were, though? He would go to Noah’s apartment under the assumption that you were still there, unaware of your little field trip to your home. By the time he realized it, you knew you'd be long gone. And what about the threat Hawk had made against him? Was it a bluff or was there actually someone downstairs with his gun trained on Jackson? 

Before you could warn him, the phone was ripped from your hand and thrown to the ground. Hawk ground his boot into the device, rendering it completely useless. You could feel tears welling within your eyes, though you weren’t sure if it was because of the blood you could taste in your mouth or because you were about to be kidnapped. Maybe it was a nice combo of both. At least you knew your father wouldn't kill you…or so you were hoping. 

“You fight back more than you used to,” Hawk taunted with an evil smirk as he turned your body over. “He's going to love that.” 

Before you could make another sound, Hawk’s heavy fist slammed into your face again, and you were left with nothing but a shock of pain and then overwhelming darkness. 

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[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader

Summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.

Tw: abandonment issues, fluff

Series masterlist

You stirred awake in the middle of the night, a soft murmur escaping your lips as you blinked your eyes open. The room was dimly lit, the soft glow of the TV was still on, casting across the walls a flickering light. The movie that you and Noah had started together was long over, the screen now rolled through endless Netflix suggestions.

You had fallen asleep on the couch, nestled against him, and now, as the fog of sleep began to lift, you became aware of the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath your head, his warmth surrounding you in a comforting way.

You shifted slightly, heavy and sluggish from the deep sleep you'd fallen into. Noah's arm, laid across your waist, tightened fractionally, his body instinctively seeming to pull you closer.

The soft weight of his arms made you immediately smile, but the slight chill in the air reminded you that you’d been lying still for too long without a blanket.

You lifted your head and looked at him. His face was soft in the dim light, his eyes closed, lips parted slightly as he slept. He seemed peaceful, the usual intensity that he had about him was replaced by something so calm, so tender, in fact, that your heart ached in a wonderful way.

For one moment, you watched him, your heart swelling up in this quiet kind of happiness, welling up and overspreading across your chest. Being this close to him, seeing him this way, was something you were still getting used to, but it felt so right.

Carefully not to disturb him too much, you shifted again, trying to extend your legs out. Noah shifted slightly with your movement, blinking awake as his eyes gradually adjusted to the dim light. He groaned softly, his hand rubbing at his face as he woke.

"We fell asleep," you whispered, your voice barely louder than a murmur into the quiet room.

Noah chuckled low in his throat, his voice thick with sleep. "Guess we didn't make it through the movie, mh?"

You shook your head, smiling. "Not even close."

He sat up a little, still holding you against him, his hand coming to rest on your back as he glanced towards the TV. "Must've knocked out halfway through," he said with a sleepy smile running a hand through his messy hair.

A yawn stretched his lips, and he stretched slightly before looking back at you. His gaze softened, taking in the sleeping expression which lined your face, the half-lidded eyes still caught in the niggling haze of sleep.

"You cold?" he asked, one eyebrow arched as he caught the slight shudder running through you in the cool air of the room.

"A little, but I'm fine."

Noah stood, silent, his hand falling onto your shoulder for a moment in a reassuring touch, like to say he wasn't going anywhere. He vanished into his bedroom and reappeared with one of his oversized hoodies. It was black, "bad omens" written on it, and worn in that way that made it the perfect thing to wear when you needed to feel cozy.

"Here," he said quietly, extending it toward you. "This will keep you warm."

You smiled as you took the hoodie from him. It smelled like him, like fresh laundry with the hint of that cologne he always wore, that scent which had become so dear to you now.

You stood up slowly as you pulled the hoodie over your head. It was so big on you that it practically swallowed you whole, the hem reached down to your thighs, the sleeves falling past your hands.

"Better?" Noah asked, his eyes clinging to you with a soft, gentle smile. There was just something so tender in his gaze, something that has your heart flutters.

You nodded, tugging the sleeves up a little so your hands were free. "Much better. Thanks".

Noah's eyes trailed over you, his small smile dancing on his lips as he took in the look of you in his hoody. "It looks cute on you," he whispered, taking a step closer.

Your chest bloomed with warmth at the look in his eyes; your heart stuttered. You couldn't help but beam up at him.

"I like it," you said, tugging on the oversized fabric. "It's like a blanket."

Noah chuckled and reached out to delicately sweep a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch was so soft, so careful, as if he was afraid of breaking the moment. "You can keep it," he said softly, his thumb grazing your cheek. "If you want."

"Mh. Maybe."

He smiled and reached in to press a soft kiss against your forehead, his lips staying on your skin for a moment. "C'mon," he whispered. "Let's get some proper sleep."

He took your hand and led you into his bedroom; stopping briefly in the hallway, he glanced over at the door to his daughter's room, as if listening to make sure no noise was coming from inside it, that Luna was sleeping well, then entered into his own room.

The space dimly lit by the soft light from the window. Noah walked to the bed, drawing back the blankets and climbed in, holding them up for you to join him.

It was the first time you were staying over for the night but without hesitation you snuggled in beside him, immediately feeling the warmth of his body as he wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you close.

You nestled into him, your head falling against his chest, the light beat of his heart steady beneath your ear. His hand was laid on your back, tracing mindless circles upon the hoodie's fabric in a soothing way. You could feel his breathing against your hair, slow and steady.

"Comfy?" he asked low, his voice barely more than a whisper in the quiet room.

You nodded, closing your eyes and pressing youself even closer to him as your body molded against his perfectly. "Very," you murmured, your voice muffled slightly by his chest.

The only sound for several moments was the soft rustling of the blankets, the quiet rhythm of your breathing. Noah's hand continued to trace those gentle patterns on your back, his touch soothing you deep into a peaceful calm.

After a while, he tilted your chin up with his fingers in a gentle movement, to make you gaze into his eyes, soft and filled with something that made your heart ache with tenderness.

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. It was slow, sweet, and full of unspoken words, words that didn’t need to be said because they were already understood in the quiet between you.

His lips felt soft against yours, a lingering touch as if he willed this moment never to come to an end. Drawing finally back, his forehead fell against yours, his warm breath dancing across your skin.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me after Luna," he whispered, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing over your skin in the gentlest of touches.

Your heart swelled at his words, the quiet sincerity in them making you feel like you were precisely where you was supposed to be.

"I'm glad I can be part of your life," you whispered back.

Noah just gave you a soft smile.

You lay there in the quiet, wrapped in his arms as your eyelids began to drop, drifting back to sleep. His hand was still on your back, and the steady pulse of his heart beneath your ear was like a lullaby to you.

Soon enough, you were lost in the quiet comfort of the night and the last thing you remember is the soft press of Noah's lips against your forehead, his whispered words carrying you into the sweetest of dreams.

Noah woke up many hours later, morning light filtering softly through the curtains and casting a gentle glow over the room. Instinctively, he reached over for you, only to meet cool, empty sheets.

His heart stuttered in his chest.

At first, he didn’t fully understand, maybe you’d just rolled to the other side of the bed. But as his hand swept across the sheets, where you must’ve been, a sharp twinge of fear crept in. Noah sat up quickly, his pulse thrumming louder in his ears, his gaze darting around the dimly lit room.

You weren't there.

He knew you weren't like her, you were nothing like his ex, but still, that fear had managed to course through his veins, sharp and biting.

The bed felt too empty, the room too still, and his thoughts turned frantic. What if you left? What if, despite all the things unsaid but deeply understood between you, you had decided this was too much? A man who screamed on a stage as a job, with a kid—who could blame you for walking out? What if you woke up and realized this life wasn’t for you?

His stomach twisted, that sick wave of nausea rising as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. The pulse pounded in his ears, and before he knew it, he was up on his feet, quicky walking out of the room in bare feet and suddently, terribly anxious.

The hallway was too quiet, too still. He really felt like he was about to throw up.

A swell of panic rose in his chest, suffocating, his mind replayed those old, familiar fears despite knowing you would never leave like that.

He pressed onward, his body on autopilot as he moved toward the kitchen, his hands shaking as he pushed the door open.

And then there you were.

In an instant, as he saw you standing by the counter, setting a plate softly on the table, the tension in his chest released.

You were still in his big hoodie, softly humming to yourself as you moved around the kitchen, totally oblivious to the storm that had just raged inside him.

Noah didn't say another word as he just stood there for a second, his breath catching up while relief washed down his body. His heartbeat slowed down and the sick feeling in his stomach receded. You didn't leave. Of course you didn't.

He crossed the room in three quick strides without a second thought. As you placed some glasses on the table, Noah wrapped his arms around you from behind and whirled you to face him, and he just kissed you without a word, his lips moving against yours like he couldn’t wait another second.

You chuckled when you had to pull away in need of air, a little bit caught off guard. "Good morning to you, too," you said as you lifted your head to meet his gaze. "You slept like 10 hours. I was about to come wake you up."

His eyes softened, and he nodded, giving you a small smile, though something lingered in his gaze, something you couldn't quite place.

"Breakfast smells good," he muttered lowly, his hand resting lightly on your hip.

You smiled, stepping back from his hold as you returned to the pankakes cooking in a pan. "Almost ready. Just finishing up."

Noah hung around a moment longer, watching you, before finally stepping away. "I'll go wake Luna," he said.

He cast one last look at you in the kitchen as he walked toward Luna's room, all of the weight of his fears ebbing completely away.

Of course you weren't going anywhere.

You were standing at the stove, flipping pancakes, the sweet scent filling the air when Noah appeared again, his hand holding Luna's one. Or rather, Luna's hand was wrapped around two of Noah's fingers since his hand was five times as bigger than hers.

She was still in her pyjamas, in her other hand she was holding Mr. Flop and her hair was a mess from sleeping, but a little grin spread over her face as she looked at you.

"Hi!" She beamed.

"Hi Luna! You like pancakes?" You called over your shoulder.

"I love pancakes!"

"Great! What do you want on yours?"

"Chocolate!" she exclaimed, her eyes alight with excitement.

"Coming right up!" You cut a piece of a chocolate bar you found in the fridge in smaller parts on top of a pancake just for her as they sat around the table.

Noah leaned back in his chair, his lips playing a teasing smile. "You're really spoiling her, you know," he said. "She is gonna ask for a breakfast like this every day now."

You smirked as Luna clapped her hands in excitement as you placed the pancake in front of her. "Yay! Thank you!"

Noah drizzled syrup over his own stack and turned back to Luna, who'd started cutting her pancake into bits with a little fork.

Luna took a big bite of her pancake, melted chocolate dripping down her chin. "Mmmh! So good!"

"Looks like someone needs a bib," Noah chuckled leaning over to wipe a bit of chocolate off her cheek with his thumb.

"I'm not a baby!" She protested, giggling and wiping her face on her pajama sleeve, which only made things messier.

"Noah, I think you should-"

The stack of three pancakes in Noah's plat fell down and syrup ended up splattered all around the table.

"-watch your own pancakes." You ended the sentence too late.

"I think being messy is a family thing" Noah said, holding up his syrup-covered hands, too. "We'll just roll with it."

You chuckled, shaking your head, and dug into your pancakes. "At least this is the funniest breakfast I had in a while."

Luna leaned back in her chair and looked around. "I love messy breakfast!" she exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

"Messy is fun," you agreed, trying to not grin noticing the chocolate dribbling down her chin.

As you all continued eating, the kitchen was filled with laughter as somehow, Noah's face managed to get covered in sirup.

"Noah, I am pretty sure you are doing it on purpose now."

"You're silly, daddy!" Luna laughed.

"You should see your face!" he said, now grinning at her as you reached for a paper towel.

"Alright, alright, let's not make too much of a disaster," you said unable to suppress your smile as you cleaned Noah's face. "Let's save some for our plates."

After finishing breakfast, you set your plate aside and leaned against the counter, smiling at the chaos, but as you glanced at the clock, you realized you didn’t have much time left before you had to leave for work. “I should probably start cleaning up. I have to get to the café soon.”

Noah shook his head, pushing back his chair with a lazy smile. “You’ve already done a lot. I’ve got this, don’t worry.”

“But—”

“Nope,” he cut you off, standing up and starting to gather the syrup-streaked plates from the table. “You made breakfast. I can handle the mess.”

“Alright, are you sure?"

He glanced at his daughter, who was happily licking chocolate off her fork. “We’ll tackle it together, right, Lu?”

Luna nodded, though she didn’t seem too interested in helping, more focused on her chocolate-covered fork. You chuckled, shaking your head. “Alright, if you’re sure.”

“Don't worry about it,” Noah said, giving you a warm smile as you pulled your bag over your shoulder.

He walked you to the door, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your lips before you stepped out.

"Bye Luna!" You waved at the little girl now murmuring something to Mr. Flop sitting on her legs.

"Bye!" She smiled and you couldn’t help but think she definitely had his dad's smile.

“Have a good day at work.” Noah smiled.

Yeah, she really had his dad's smile.

“You too,” you replied, feeling a content warmth settle in your chest as you left for the café.

The café was bustling, a typical morning rush with people coming in for their caffeine fixes and breakfast.

The air smelled like freshly brewed coffee and pastry, accompanied by the soft hum of murmurs and chatter blending with the hissing from the espresso machine. You were halfway through making a flat white when your phone buzzed in your pocket.

You gave it a glance, since the client on the counter was talking with another woman sitting next to him.

Noah♡ : Luna's still talking about how much fun she had with you yesterday and this morning. Kept asking when you're coming over for pancakes again.

Noah♡: Thanks for everything, really.

Noah♡: I love you.

A soft warmth bloomed in your chest as you read his message.

You quickly hit reply, fingers flying across the keyboard.

You: She's such a sweetheart! I had just as much fun.

You: I'd love to make pankakes with you guys again sometime.

You: I love you too.

Just then, a tap on your shoulder pulled you from the screen to find Grace, your coworker, standing beside you, arms crossed, one eyebrow arched with a knowing look in her eyes.

"So," she started off, her eyes falling conspicuously to your phone as she tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear, "how is it going with your rockstar boyfriend?"

You laughed softly to yourself but shook your head and tucked the phone away in your pocket. "His name is Noah," you pointed out, finally giving the order to your costumer, "And it's going really well. We're taking things slow, but…it's good. It feels right."

"Mh..." She muttered, "I don't know if I'd be able to do it, you know? Date a guy with a kid, I mean. Seems like a lot of extra work. And a lot of pressure."

You frowned slightly, preparing for what Grace was going to say next, and before you could get a word out, she went on with: "I mean, come on. Wouldn't it be easier if, y'know, there wasn't a kid in the mix? You can't deny that makes it more complicated. At least with Jason, you didn't have to deal with that, right?"

The mere mention of Jason was a contraction in the stomach, something from the past that you really didn't like revisiting. You took one deep breath and let her words sink in before responding with calm conviction.

"My boyfriend's daughter's not a problem, Grace," you said firmly, making sure your gaze didn't drop from hers. "Luna is great and she's part of Noah's life. Jason? He was an asshole. So no, it's not even remotely similar."

Grace's eyebrows shot upwards as she raised her hands in mock surrender. "Whoa, okay. Didn't mean to hit a nerve. I'm just saying… it is a lot you're trying to deal with, right? Jumping into this whole family situation."

"Maybe," you replied running a rag over the already clean counter. "But to me, it isn't a burden. It's a part of Noah, and I like Noah. Different, yeah, but good different."

Grace was silent a second longer, her eyes softening ever so little. "Well, if you are happy," she said, but doubt was manifest in her voice. "I only hope it goes to your wish."

You smiled a little. "I think it will."

Grace rolled her eyes, for the first time sounding a little playful. "Alright, lovebird. Just don't say I didn't warn you when it gets messy. Beacause this whole rockstar with kid situation is gonna get messy."

You smirked, shaking your head. "Life's already messy, Grace. But I'm not afraid of it this time."

She laughed, her sharp blue eyes glinting with amusement. "You're braver than me. I'll stick to dating guys without kids, thanks."

The topic changed then, and the café remained busy. You and Grace fell into an easy rhythm, serving customer after customer, brewing coffee after coffee and serving some simple snacks such as pastries and sandwiches, passing banal comments to each other. Yet, your mind was back to Noah's texts, the sweet simplicity of them, and the warmth they oozed into you.

You were sure Grace was entirely wrong. Yes, it was different, dating someone with a child, something you never did before and certainly hadn't expected. God, you probably never even considered having kids.

But different wasn't bad.

You knew people liked to talk and gossip, too. They liked it a lot.

You’d started to notice it more often now, especially since you had been seen with Noah a few times around town, and the same old rumors about him had never really stopped. People loved to talk, and the truth often got twisted beyond recognition.

You’d heard it all. Some people said Noah was the one who’d left his ex, that he had taken Luna away and refused to let her mother see her, painting him as the villain. Others whispered that Luna had been the result of a one-night stand, the product of a fleeting moment in his life, and that he was too reckless, too irresponsible, to be raising a kid alone.

None of it was true. You knew that. You knew how Luna was born into a relationship that once held hope, but had crumbled under the weight of unmet expectations. And you knew how Noah loved her with all his heart, always putting her first, no matter how hard it was.

But people didn’t care about the truth. It was easier to believe the lies, funnier and entertaining, especially when someone as visible as Noah was involved.

His fame only made things worse. Online, where the rumors spread quickly, people picked apart every little detail of his life, turning his private struggles into something for public consumption. It made your stomach churn just thinking about it.

And now, since you'd been seen with him a couple of times, they were starting to talk about you, too. The same people who had speculated about Noah’s past were beginning to make assumptions about your relationship.

You could imagine the stories they were going around  now, that you were just another girl caught up in the excitement of dating a rockstar, that you were either using him for his fame or walking into a messy situation you couldn’t handle.

You were starting to understand his decision to delete all social media more and more every day.

Part of you wanted to be angry, to confront every single person who dared to say those things. But the bigger part of you... just didn’t care. Because you knew the truth.

You knew Noah, and you were starting to get to know him better everyday, the real him, the man who stayed up late playing guitar softly while Luna slept, the man who looked at you with that quiet tenderness in his eyes, the man who made pancakes and laughed when syrup got everywhere.

This wasn’t going to be easy, you realized that. You had known it from the moment you stepped into his world. Being with Noah meant accepting all of him, the father and the musician.

But love was never supposed to be easy, you reminded yourself. And maybe that was the point. It was the hard parts, the messy parts, that made it worth it in the end.

Time moved on in the afternoon at the café filled with monotonous work that kept your hands full, while your mind wandered back to the messages from Noah again and again. You were so glad Luna liked you.

You couldn't tell exactly where it was all going, but it was certain, you were right where you wanted to be.

(If you don't wanna be tagged in this just tell me, no problem at all!)

Tags: @anything-more-than-human @ladyveronikawrites @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingangelwisp @xmads-omensx @iwasntstable @thisbicc @pathion @mathfairchild1 @flowery-mess @into-the-grey @lma1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @stardustsirenmelody @thewrstinme

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[concreteburialplot]

Cool About It // 01

01 - Breaking & Entering

pairing: noah sebastian x fem!oc

masterlist: here | crossposted: ao3 | word count: 6.3k

summary; Noah runs into an old friend while visiting his hometown for the holidays. Noah convinces Amelia to meet him on the playground they grew up on to catch up. Reminiscing leads them to a midnight adventure that reminds them all too much of the past.

warnings; alcohol consumption, breaking & entering? stealing? kinda?, hallmark-y, nostalgic, talks of family trauma, cops (acab!), vaguely sad & distraught Noah, uses 'Sebastian' as his last name, 18+ MDNI

disclaimer; welcome to my new short series! reminder that this is hallmark-y bc i began writing it in December lol i decided to challenge myself w this fic in multiple ways, one of the biggest ones was writing it in 3rd person vs my comfy world of 1st or 2nd person. I’ve never written in 3rd person so, if it’s not my best, i apologize, i’m sure it will improve lol

a/n: this is au and follows no actual timelines/events, and uses oc's for family members.

don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

It had been quite a busy morning, and Amelia was slowly making her way through the longest line she’d had in a while. She finished heating up a cinnamon roll and snapped a lid on what felt like the 75th peppermint mocha she’d made that day.

“Thanks.” Mumbled the distracted patron and stepped off to the side to grab extra napkins.

“Next.” She said while shuffling dollar bills into the clangy register, then looked up motioning to the last customer. Her hazel eyes landed on a man covered in tattoos pre-occupied on his phone. “Next!” Her call was louder than before and this time edged with impatient annoyance.

A familiar pair of dark brown eyes snapped up at her, his gaze more startled than angry.

Amelia’s brows furrowed together and as if on cue, the register dinged closed in time with her realization.

She’d recognize those eyes anywhere.

“Noah?”

The soft velvet of her voice yanked each edge of Noah’s mouth into a wide toothy smile. “Scout?” He asked in the same caught-off-guard tone. His voice was much deeper than she remembered, and he seemed taller, if that was even possible.

She chuckled at the fact that he used his old nickname for her and felt a tinge of warmth bloom on her cheeks. The ends of her pink lips curled up into an adorably genuine smile. “What are you doing here?” She pressed her palms flat against the cold counter leaning forward and letting soft chocolate curls spill over her shoulder.

“Oh, uh, I’m here with Nicholas.” He thumbed over his shoulder towards the town. “He’s here visiting his family, I just tagged along.”

Tagged along.

She should’ve known, of course Noah would be down here with Nick’s family for Christmas. Where else would he be?

“Oh,” She smiled tenderly at his words and nodded. “Of course.”

Every now and then she’d run into Nicholas whenever he came back to town or ran into his parents while out and about, but it was never anything of significance. Whenever it was Nicholas, she wanted more than anything to inquire about Noah or the band but always kept the interactions short, sweet and reserved. The last thing she wanted was to come off as wanting to “catch up” after they gained a larger audience for clout.

He grinned back at her and there was a quiet moment shared between them, as if they both didn’t know what to say. The feeling in the air swung from having nothing to say to having so many words that it was overwhelming to speak.

The gentle moment was broken by the bell dinging above the door as a new customer walked in.

Her first impulse was to make his usual but stopped herself. “Oh um, whatcha want?” She asked, realizing that his tastes had probably changed since he was 16.

“Just a vanilla cold brew is fine, thank you.” He said with a tight-lipped smile, feeling awkward that she was serving him.

She went ahead and filled his cup with the dark amber liquid. “Do you want a snickerdoodle cookie? They’re freshly baked.”

He nods enthusiastically, “Yes please, they’re my favorite.”

She remembered.

Of course, she did.

How could one forget staying up til 2 am at Nick’s house baking cookies and having Top Chef-level trials trying to achieve the perfect spice mixture for what Noah called, “The Most Snick-of-Doodles that could ever Doodle.”

“You got it.” She smiled placing some pastries into a brown paper bag before handing it to him. “I threw in a cinnamon roll for Nicholas, I made sure to give him the one with the most icing.”

“Oh, he’ll love that.” He chuckled gently taking the bag along with his drink. “We should um, catch up soon?”

“Sure.” She pressed her lips together to keep her grin from growing too wide.

Cold fallen leaves crunched beneath Amelia’s feet as she navigated through a park that she hadn’t stepped foot on in a good ten years. A cool chill made her tug her thick knit cardigan tight around her thin frame.

“Noah?” She delicately whisper-yelled into the darkness, the meet-up destination barely lit by the full ivory moon. She should’ve known that Noah wouldn’t be content with catching up at a restaurant or at her house or anywhere normal.

“Scout!” He replied from the swings a bit to her left. A chuckle left his lips, and he quickly clicked the flashlight on his phone, waving it in the air like a search light.

A deep shade of embarrassment coated her pale cheeks, “There’s no streetlights over here!” She walked over and lightly smacked his arm. “It’s dangerous you know.” The weight of her body creaked the metal frame when she fell into the blue swing seat.

“Or you’re just getting old and need glasses.” He teased with a slight slur riding the end of his words.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” She responded with a playful glare.

She looked over at him thinking how funny it was seeing him so large and full grown in such a tiny, low swing. It looked extremely disproportionate and goofy, like a Great Dane in a shopping cart.

He handed her a bottle of cheap red wine, half drank already.

“Oh, got started without me huh?” She sassed before stealing the bottle from his fingers. “Couldn’t have done beer?” She tips the glass bottle until bitter, dry alcohol infiltrates every tastebud, reminding her why she’d switched to martinis or seltzers in her later years.

He waved her off with a tsk, “Too much hassle. Wine was easier. And you took fuckin’ forever!”

“Right.” She rolled her eyes playfully, it wasn’t like she was all that upset over the wine over beer, just that he drank so much of it already. She pressed the mouth of the bottle to her lips once more taking another hefty swig and handed it back to him. “Where’s Nick?”

“Ah,” He swiped the bottle back and took a long gulp. “You know, family stuff.” He wiped the back of hand across his mouth. “I can only handle – so much of it.” His hands motion off his words. “They mean well I just… can’t do too much of it at once.”

Growing up with parents that were as dismissive and absent, then gone all at once like his, knowing how to “family” was odd and foreign to him. As Noah got older, he began to realize that basic family etiquette was a trait he fundamentally lacked, as if he played hooky on some Family 101 course in his formative years. It wasn’t something he inherently prioritized and, at least when he was younger, it would irritate him when friends or colleagues put family above things that he deemed more important, like band related obligations. He never had to deal with family of his own, put it on his schedule or allot energy for it. He simply didn’t understand it.

Sure, he came off as rude at times, leaving friend’s family events early or mentally checking out mid-day. It wasn’t his fault that it was exhausting and overstimulating for him. To him it seemed natural, as if everyone felt that way, something akin to the universal experience of trying to escape school or work. It never crossed his mind that people might actually enjoy their families, nor could he comprehend the necessity for it.

It depended on who, what and when but for the most part it was exhausting to him. Some groups were better than others, like Nick’s family. Over the years they’d housed him for weeks at a time, months even sometimes. As far as Noah was concerned, the Ruffilo’s were his family. He always came and went as he pleased, always an open-door policy to the Ruffilo refuge. But that didn’t exclude Nick’s family from his unintended ignorance and tendency to run. He just could only take so much at once. Lucky for him, they never seemed to mind his behavior much. They never batted an eye; they understood him for who he was and why. Their house was one of the only places he felt comfortable, one of the only places he ever called home.

“I know.” She nodded, wrapping her hands around the thick swing chains. “I remember.”

“Right.” He replies solemnly, taking another sip before swapping it back.

Vivid memories filled Amelia’s brain of 14-year-old Noah tapping on her window like a freshly escaped felon looking for asylum. The heavy, panicked breathing and glassy eyes never matched the mischievous grin plastered across his face. Holidays were the worst; she recalls keeping her window unlocked during the winter months, so he’d always have an alternative escape. The Ruffilo’s were a festive bunch that took any excuse to celebrate. Naturally, Nicholas also only possessed so much adolescent tolerance to endure so many familial festivities so, he too would sneak away with Noah at times but, for the most part it was just him and Amelia celebrating holidays together on her bedroom floor.  

The air was still between them while she took a couple sips of sanguine liquid trying to catch up to him.

“So, you’re a big ol’ rockstar now huh?” The girl smiled, nudging him with her elbow trying to lighten the mood. Even though the words are positive and light, they tasted so sad on her tongue.

He laughed, something she hadn’t heard in what felt like a lifetime. She nearly forgot what it sounded like, but it hadn’t changed really, just a little deeper now. His now tattooed hands grasped both metal swing chains and leaned back a little, using the tension to suspend his body while he observed the stars above them. “Not big. Just opening for some real bands now. Finally able to headline our own little tour soon. Fuckin’ took long enough.” He dismissed the compliment immediately, snuffing it into the ground like a shriveled-up cigarette butt.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his response. He might’ve not seen it as notable accomplishments, but she knew better than to place the validity of success in the hands of someone riddled with imposter syndrome.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think it’s pretty fucking cool.” She leaned against the chain closest to the long-haired boy.

His lips pulled to a smile while his eyes stayed focused on the sky. “Thanks.”

She followed his gaze and chuckled, “Sky’s pretty interesting huh?” She teased.

“It is when you barely get to see stars. I never really get to see them in LA. Sometimes I forget they’re even up there.” He replied sadly before sitting back up.

Amelia took another sip of the almost empty bottle, starting to feel the warmth of alcohol spread through her body. Something about the stars and Noah made a memory cross her mind that made her burst out into a cackle. “Do you remember when you put SO much work into your astronomy project for the science fair and fucking Nicholas won with his fucking-”

“Moldy bread!” They said loudly in unison before erupting into booming laughter.

“God I was so pissed.” Noah shook his head, “And then I had to eat his fucking moldy bread.”

“Oh yeah because you lost the bet! I forgot all about that!” Laughter filled her ribcage in a way it hadn’t in years, and it felt really fucking good.

“I was so fucking sure I’d win! I should’ve known, Nick has always been the golden boy. Teacher’s-pet swindling ass.” He kicked the sand just as he would’ve at 8 years old. It’s funny how people’s mannerisms don’t really change all that much as they age. Being there with him on their old playground felt like being in a time machine. “Worst food poisoning I ever had.”

“Didn’t you borrow the telescope you used from Nick too?” She questioned, wondering if she just made that part up in her head.

“Yeah, yeah I think I did actually.” His brows furrowed as he dug through his memories. “You know what? It’s probably still in their garage!”

“Really? Maybe you can find it tomorrow.” She poured the rest of the wine into her mouth, savoring the cheap bitterness of it pooling on her tongue.

“But the stars are so pretty tonight!” He whined in classic Noah fashion.

“Yeah so? What are you gonna do? Break into their garage?” She chuckled jokingly.

He straightened up and looked over at her with wide eyes like a lightbulb just lit above his head - a look she remembered all too well.

“No.” She warned, just like she would’ve back then at whatever scheme Noah concocted in his devious little brain.

He gave her a familiar mischievous toothy grin before pushing harshly off the swing.

“No, no, no.” She sighed as he already left his seat swinging and made his way towards the street.

“Noah!” She called after him. When he showed no sign of stopping, she let out a long sigh, questioning how she ended up having to stop a 6’4 man from breaking into houses in the middle of the night. She pushed off the swing, leaving it clanging and swaying behind her.

“Noah I’m not br-“ Her yell dulled down to a hush when she caught up to him. “I’m not breaking into the Ruffilo house at midnight!” Her words were stern but to Noah they just sounded like a child’s warning against curse words.

“We’re not breaking in ‘melia.” He didn’t match her whisper, his voice was loud and proud for anyone in the night to hear. “I remember the garage code.” He announced with drunken pride.

She scoffed, “And what if someone hears the garage, Noah? Then what?”

He shrugged, “Nick is staying there, we’ll just say we were trying to see him or something. You know I have free reign there anyway.”

“This is a really shitty plan, Noah.” She crossed her arms over her chest with a displeased frown.

“It’s a great plan.” He stated confidently, walking in long strides that she could barely keep up with. “You know all my plans are great.”

“Hmm.” She hummed skeptically. “Statistically, I don’t think that’s true.”

Walking down the street with Noah to Nick’s family home in the dead of the night felt so… familiar, as if she was walking in the same exact footsteps as 15-year-old Amelia had, like her memories were tangible in her hands again. She tightened her fists slightly to remind herself that the past was not solid in her hands again. She wasn’t 15 again on some spontaneous, teenage adventure – but the alcohol-fueled adrenaline prickling at her fingertips begged to differ.

Even past midnight, the small neighborhood’s Christmas lights shined bright. Normally, she’d find them obnoxious, but tonight they seemed much sweeter, only adding to the nostalgia.

“Oh no? All of my plans worked out one way or another.” He defended as if it was factual with a straightened back and pointed finger. “All but one.”

Her brows knitted tightly together at his words, because in her memory, there was a good chunk of her life spent stuck in detention because of his schemes.

“And which one would that be?” She sassed back, watching as his speed picked up even more after her question.

“Not important.” He waved the brunette off, “C’mon, we’re here.”

Unexpectedly, his hand slips around her wrist, and it wraps tingly electricity up her arm then across her entire body. All at once the butterflies that used to be so perpetually embedded in her stomach returned in a rampant flurry. Her gaze slowly snapped up to meet his face. His smile hadn’t changed in the near 10 years apart and neither did the bright glint in his espresso eyes. Time seemed to slow around them for that split second where the electricity sizzled beneath both their fingertips and their eyes found each other’s just as easily as they used to. In that brief moment she could’ve sworn she was looking into the eyes of rail thin, tattooless teenage Noah.

“I know they got a Ring doorbell, so we gotta hide between the cars.” He whispered and ducked them both down as he weaved her through the vehicles in the driveway.

“I can’t fucking believe you talked me into this Noah!” She whisper-yelled at him, wanting nothing more than to properly reprimand him.

“Sh!”

They finally found themselves in front of the garage keypad conveniently out of view of the doorbell camera. Noah blinked blankly at plastic number pad without moving. His inked fingers tapped on his own crossed arm while his tongue stayed lodged between his lips in thought.

“Well? Go ahead! Get it over with.” She insisted, motioning urgently to the garage wanting it to be over as fast as possible. She tucked her hands across her body and into her sides giving her some semblance of comfort. The last thing she wanted was for their childish midnight antics to wake up the entire house.

“Hey! Give me time.” He rushed back, lifting a finger in her direction to shush her.

“Time? I thought you said you remembered it!”

“I do! …I think… if they haven’t changed it.” His tone much less confident than before.

“Noah!”

“Hush!” He pressed a finger to his lips at her and took a hesitant step towards the keypad. With a couple semi-sure clicks, the garage door slid open slowly. Amelia exhaled in relief at how the metal clangs of the garage were much quieter than she remembered. Still though, they creaked too loud for her liking, feeling embarrassment and anxiety flood her body.

“Yes!” Noah squeezed his fists up in victory. “See, told you I remembered.”

“Lucky guess.” She rolled her eyes with a smile.

Her eyes widened as the garage door unveiled a gorgeous white car. It was by no means a luxury car, not a Lexus or anything of the sort, but a high enough model to make you look twice. “Damn Mama Ruffilo, ridin’ in style now.”

Noah grinned as he scoots around the car. His smile was reserved, like she had discovered some award he was keeping hidden out of modesty. “Yeah, that’s the one we got her for Mother’s Day.”

“We?” She questioned, her head cocking to the side a bit.

“Yeah, Nick and me. We each paid half.”

“Oh wow, that’s really nice of you.” She replied softly. It didn’t take a genius to calculate just how much it would cost two broke DIY touring bandmates to pay for a new car, even in halves. The vehicle was shiny and spotless, evidently well taken care of – the type of care you’d put into a possession you never thought you’d own, the type of care that came from deep gratitude.

“It’s the least I could do for ya know… everything she’s done for me.”

Amelia nodded knowing exactly what he meant. It was no secret that he was more than a family friend to them, but it was nice to see that he recognized it too. While Noah might not have attended every family event or stayed for long, he showed his love and appreciation in his own small ways. Gifts were one of his favorite ways of doing so. Yeah, Noah might’ve only stayed at a Thanksgiving for an hour or two for food, but he was there long enough to make mental notes for next year, to bring extra cranberry sauce because Nick’s abuela loves it or extra croutons since Nick’s mom tends to snack on them while she cooks. He paid attention and he loved deeply, even if it didn’t seem that way on the surface.

He rustled around some miscellaneous garage junk in the corner, making more noise than Amelia felt comfortable with. She stood up on her tip toes to watch carefully him over the pristine car with her heart beating in her chest begging to rush him again.

“Ah! I knew it’d be here!” He said a little too loud out of excitement and promptly covered his mouth. His wide brown eyes met hers in a silent ‘oops, shit, sorry!’ plea.

In desperate need to escape the anxiety inducing mission, Amelia ran to the end of the driveway the second she saw the telescope in Noah’s hand. It took him longer than it should’ve just to snatch the item, but she didn’t question it or investigate much when he sped right past her after the garage began squeaking closed.

They made it out in record time, holding in their laughter until they reached the end of the street. It only took one look at each other to send them into a cackling fit. Amelia’s delicate hands found his thin arm and used him for stability, while the laughter shook her entire frame.

When they make it back to the park, he set down the telescope and unravels something she somehow didn’t notice he was carrying before.

“Did you steal that from their garage?!”

He grinned and proudly pulled another bottle of wine, white this time, from the blanket he also borrowed. “Yeah? And I’ll just replace them when I bring the telescope back tomorrow.” He carefully sat the wine down at her feet and spread out the buffalo-print blanket over the grass.

“You are so bad!” She chuckled, smacking him playfully with the excess of her long cardigan sleeve.

“Isn’t that what girls want? A bad boy?” He smirked jokingly, getting down on his knees to angle the telescope just right so that they didn’t need to stand up to use it.

She pressed her lips together as she watched him. Sure, that’s what some girls want, but not her. Even when he was landing them in detention every other day and keeping them out way past curfew – even when everyone else considered him a “bad boy” – she knew he wasn’t, not really.

Even now, whenever he got on stage, covered in ink, growling like a demon – she knew he wasn’t, and has never been, “bad”. Not the way she knew him. Amelia had a talent for seeing through people and she always saw right through Noah, from the first time she ever saw him in the back of her 3rd grade class. And all through adolescence, she saw him clearly through all his stormy confliction and thick brick walls.

Noah never saw it of course; how could he believe that someone as sugary sweet as Amelia could possibly ever see him as anything more than comical the social mask he wore with friends. In fact, he would even go as far to believe his mask was thickest and most opaque around her. Whether or not that was factual, didn’t lessen her ability to see him, really see him.

Being told you’re so wrong for so long, makes you believe that no one could ever see you as right. No matter how many friends Noah had at his parties, or fans in his crowds or girls in his bed, he never felt as though anyone saw him as enough. He got so exhausted from constantly trying to outdo himself that sometimes he forgot what exactly he was trying to accomplish.

Amelia never once believed the “bad influence, bad boy” propaganda their parents or teachers ever accused him of. To her, he was just Noah; the weird emo kid in the back of her classes, the neighbor down the street, the other older “brother” of the youngest girl scout in her troop. Amelia knew Noah at his core.

“Ah, bad boys are overrated.” She waved off his words casually.

He turned and gave her an unconvinced look, “Yeah, sure.” he glared playfully before sitting back on his legs. “Well, it’s ready if you wanna look.”

Amelia crawled across the blanket to meet him and peered through the telescope. Billions of tiny stars flooded the glass lens with twinkles and glimmers you’d never be able to see normally. Fluffy white clouds interrupted the view every so often, but it didn’t take away from the breathtaking scene.

“Whoa.” She mouthed quietly, just taking in the sight. “It’s so beautiful.”

“Sure is.” Noah agreed quietly, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them while he watched her.

They took some turns looking out of the telescope and passing the wine bottle back and forth before finally resting side by side on the picnic fabric. The air around them both was full of dwindling laughter over Noah telling silly stories about him and Nicholas and their roommates in LA. At surface level, he seemed to be doing well, despite claiming to hate LA, he appeared to be thriving there. Perhaps it was just the roommates that he enjoyed living with. Noah was never one to enjoy solitude, at least not for long periods of time. When he lived in their hometown, he was rarely wherever he was staying at the time. Getting comfortable anywhere was never his goal or motive. For the most part, it seemed like he enjoyed the constant change, the running. However, the way he talked about their home in California, all the stories he shared that brought the grandest smile to his face or the loudest boom from his chest all took place at their home. Amelia wondered what it must feel like for him to be back in their dreary little town, and if he rattled off all those stories was because he was homesick.

As the space between them flooded with a silence that was equally comfortable and uncomfortable, a question bubbled up that had been eating at Amelia from the moment she laid eyes on the tired darkness hanging beneath Noah’s eyes. His grin for most of the night was wide and toothy but she knew him better than that.

“So,” She turned her head towards him. “How are you, really?”

His eyes stayed transfixed on the stars above and he let a dense quiet settle over them before speaking.

“It must get so exhausting.” He stated, ignoring her question all together.

Her brows furrowed at his words, “What does?”

“Being so bright all the time.” He stated flatly, with a low dejected tone lacing his words.

“The stars?” She questioned with her brows still knitted.

“Sure. The Moon, the cosmos, all of it.” He brought his hands to interlace over his tummy. “Sure, the moon gets a break during the day and gets to disappear for a bit every month. And the stars get to die eventually.

“Right…?”

“But a star’s entire existence is to be bright - they only exist to be bright and then die. The moon works every night to serve as a giant nightlight and to shift some waves around. It must be so exhausting, all of it – being so bright all the time just to burn out into nothing.”

Noah had always been good at avoiding both his feelings and Amelia’s prying questions. It seemed age and time hadn’t changed that specific skill set. Maybe it’s true what they say, people never really change. It worried her that he might’ve not changed at all in that way.

“I mean,” She shifted her head to face the stars again trying to find the answers in the same place he was getting the questions. “You’re not wrong… but, think about the good that they do. The moon does so much on its own for us, you know the tides, the earth’s axis and all that. But we wouldn’t even be here staring at the sky without it all. They’re pretty and,” She shrugs. “And maybe, sometimes, that’s enough.”

“Right.” He responded curtly, pausing a long while before speaking again. “If the moon had consciousness… do you think it would care that most people know it for being pretty and not for being good at its job?” He pondered, not once looking over at the girl, perhaps afraid that his façade would crumble, and he’d spill the truth if he met her eyes.

Amelia’s brows furrowed together once more as she processed his words, doing mental gymnastics to decipher the underlying meaning. Another skill set Noah possessed was being dramatically cryptic, especially when it came to his internal turmoil. Whenever he had some battle waging within him, he suddenly transformed into a makeshift philosopher.

Looking the way he does, it’s fair to assume that his band had garnered recent attention due to his looks – most men would revel in the fleeting female attention, but not Noah. At least not enough to keep him from being contemplative on the lawn of their old park.

Girls or not, Noah had always been particular about his craft. He was lucky he found Nicholas first since he really let Noah take reigns of the entire operation. Like a true perfectionist, Noah carefully curated every song, every show, every rehearsal – even back when they were just playing in Nick’s garage with shitty amps.

Amelia analyzed his words, thinking over her response carefully. “I think the moon would be grateful for the attention either way.” She commented gently. “As long as she’s doing the job she’s meant to do, her beauty getting noticed is just a bonus. As long as she’s doing what she’s destined to do, I think she’d be content doing whatever she needs to, regardless of the affection towards her.”

“Yeah, I guess she would.”

Looking up at the sky, Amelia noticed just how round the moon was that night and how perfectly it was centered in the sky. It looked like the inside of a circus tent, like the star littered sky was just a patterned fabric pierced right in the middle by a giant moon-shaped hole. It felt like it too – as if they were the only ones in some carnival tent far away from anything bad. Below such a vast cosmos, they were just tiny specs of dust in the universe, and she was grateful for the temporary solitude. After years of not even being around Noah, he still made her feel the same. He had a knack for dissolving any real-life problems when they were alone together. When she was with him, she was in a world of their own making. She wondered if she did the same for him, and for his sake, she really hoped she did.

But alas, the bubble they created together that night was not one that could exist forever, and the big top tent must come down after a grand show.

Amelia and Noah ran out of words, at least ones meant to be said that night. They laid side by side with her right hand and his left not even a centimeter apart.

Noah was unaware of whether it was fear, nerves or sadness that fueled the drumming beneath his brittle ribs, but that same force also tugged an invisible string to lift his pinky.

Amelia’s eyes rounded and every muscle in her body tensed up the millisecond she felt him move up and hover over her own pinky.

But before he got the chance to lock over her finger, there was a frightening rustling behind some playground equipment followed by a bright light aimed right at them, blinding the pair.

“Hey! You kids aren’t allowed in here!” Boomed a deep, authoritative voice.

Amelia propped herself up on an elbow and immediately used her arm as a shield to keep the blinding light from burning her retinas any further.

Noah closed his eyes and let out a deep breath through his nose. It was one of the many familiar sounds from the town Noah hoped to never hear again.

“Sebastian? What an unpleasant surprise.” The voice taunted with a vicious edge.

“Officer Hawke.” The eyeroll was thick in Noah’s voice. “So great to see you.”

The big burly man shifted the flashlight beam to Noah directly. “Not shocking that the first time I see you back in town you’re up to no good.” He moved the light back to Amelia’s face. “Also, not shocking that you’ve reunited with your old partner in crime. Corrupting Miss. Alastor again, are we?”

“Officer, we just fell asleep earlier, we didn’t mean to be here so late.” Amelia lied for Noah like she always had. Her and Nick had been the goodie-two-shoes that were always bailing or covering for the long-haired boy. Well, Amelia was truly good, Nick was just skilled at masking his deviant tendencies, using his sweet golden-boy allure to fool everyone. As much as she hated breaking the rules, she secretly loved when Noah enabled it. Her teenage years wouldn’t have been nearly as fun or memorable without the two mischievous boys. Even just lying in the park with Noah after dark made her feel the most alive she’d had in years. It was exhilarating, no matter how much she reprimanded the boy for his reckless rebellion.

“Mhm. Sounds about right, you covering for Mr. Sebastian here, for god knows why.” He speculated, unconvinced. “It’s like I stepped back in time. It seems you both haven’t changed much.”

While the cop had been berating the two, Noah had already began packing up the picnic trying to end the interaction as quickly as possible.

“Sorry officer, it won’t happen again.” She lied.

“Sure.” He retorted. “Get you and your boyfriend out of here. Don’t let me catch you in here again.”

With that he turned and headed back to his vehicle. It was surprising that he just left the pair– not surprising that he just sat and watched them from the comfort of his cop car across the street.

Amelia helped Noah pack everything up before they made their escape from the park. Shortly after they were down the street, the cop car finally drove off. She walked in the direction of her house, thinking that Noah would part ways to maybe head towards Nick’s house to return the stolen items or to Vince’s where he was staying for the time being, but he stayed walking alongside her. He was quiet, which for Noah was strange, especially with her.

“You know, you don’t have to walk me home? I know you’re staying in the opposite direction.” She said, stuffing her cold hands in her pockets.

“I want to. It’s dangerous for you to walk alone.” He replied flatly, kicking a pebble across the sidewalk concrete.

Her house wasn’t particularly far from the other two’s, nothing in the tiny town was necessarily far from each other. With a town as small as theirs, a night walk home wouldn’t usually be considered dangerous.

“Well, thanks.” She replied cautiously.

She let her mind wander to the interaction they had at the park with Officer Hawke. Noah’s mood had been fairly consistent all night up until then. She mentally scolded herself for not realizing that running into the overly familiar cop would affect his demeanor. Maybe she just assumed that after so many years into adulthood he’d be over it, but evidently, it was foolish and incredibly mindless for her to believe so.

The rest of the walk was silent, just filled with the sounds of nature in the winter. The crisp cool air zipping with the wind, crashing into every solid object available while owls coo-ed into the darkness.

Finally, they arrived at the chain-link gate of Amelia’s small home. She rested her arm atop the pointy wires of the fence. Any other night she’d probably invite him in, but it was so late and all of the night’s events had already been enough to overfill her tummy with static-y nerves.

“Well, I-“ They fumble over each other’s words. Warmth blooms across Amelia’s cheeks at the joint misstep.

“You go.” She urged.

“No, you go.” He pushed back with a sheepish grin.

A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and dropped her attention down to her feet. “I was just gonna say that this was… nice.” Her teeth dug into her bottom lip. “It was really nice to see you again Noah.” Her tone soft and genuine, as her eyes meet his again.

He was unprepared for how her eyes looked with the moonlight shining directly into them. He couldn’t remember the last time he looked into them so clearly. He forgot how different they were from each other, well, they weren’t really – but they were when one spent looking at them as intently as Noah had since he was 8 years old. Her eyes were both a hazel but one much more brown while the other had a pretty emerald hue.

“Yeah, it was really nice.” His words sounded true, but his voice was still strained by the sadness from the walk there. “I’m really happy I went into the shop this morning.”

Her lips worked overtime to keep from pulling into a giant grin and suddenly she was grateful for the darkness hiding the red staining her cheeks. “Yeah, me too.”

Noah sucked in a breath to speak but pauses, before returning again, “Um - Nick’s family is throwing their annual Christmas party this weekend, I’m sure he and the Ruffilo clan would love to see you.” He stated with his words moving slightly faster than normal almost like he was nervous to even ask, which is silly isn’t it? Being anxious to invite an old friend to a holiday party you both attended every year growing up? It shouldn’t be that nerve wreaking, right? He scratched the back of his neck. “If you want that is.”

Her eyes nearly light up enough to cut through the darkness. “Yeah,” She beamed a sweet smile up at him.  “I think I’d really like that.”

taglist; @lma1986 @alastriaa @missduffsblog @xxkittenkissesxx @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens @measuredingold @jilliemiw86

[comment to be added to taglist<3]

A/N; thank you so much for reading - again this is my first time writing in 3rd person so i hope it was decent! i hope you enjoyed even though it is definitely not christmas time lmao - lmk what you think! 💗

[nvyah]

tbh i felt more realistic and less cringe!

(my opinion though) they really changed a lot in the storyline which felt more appropriate...and i kinda liked every change they made🤌🏻and these two are soooo🤌🏻🤌🏻

[runningincircl3s]

Untitled Bestfriend!Noah x Reader Series

Part 1 (title coming soon btw! i'm still thinking!)

okay i've finally decided i will be posting this, so it's time to release this from my drafts... remember when i asked about a bestfriend!noah x reader series... well here's the first part!! i don't know exactly when i'll be writing and posting for this story, so there'll be new parts when i feel like it i guess haha

also i added this series onto my taglist if you want to be tagged in future posts :)

warnings: NSFW!! loss of virginity, READER IS 18+, experienced noah x unexperienced reader, p in v sex, fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex (don't do that!), is that it??

You and Noah. Noah and You. Inseparable since you met, where there was one the other wouldn’t be far. You did everything together, there was no one in the world you cared about and trusted more than your best friend Noah. You loved him in a way that was more than just friendship, even more than just romantic, you had the kind of bond with him that people could only dream about. You were his soulmate, and he was yours, but to keep it simple, you just called yourselves best friends.

You had your own friend groups though, you had your group- Sophia, Beth, Miley and Emily. Noah had his- Nick (Ruffilo), Nick (Folio), Matt and Jolly. Your friends had very little to do with Noah and the guys, but the guys all saw you as their little sister, always looking out for you, always protective over you- besides Folio who saw you as his twin, and sharing a birthday may have had something to do with that. 

Noah was experienced in every way you weren’t, he had to be. Coming from a complicated background, he knew he had only himself from a young age, until you came along. Your family loved him, he was invited to every family event, every wedding, birthday, every party. Your family would always joke, asking if they would be expecting your boyfriend to come with you, and you would always hit them with the “he’s just my friend!” because he was… right? He got his first job young, saving money for road trips with you once he learned to drive and buying you gifts whenever he would see something that reminded him of you. He moved in with his friends, Ruffilo and Matt, as soon as he could, and you were always welcome at his place whenever you wanted, whether you needed to get away from home for a while or whether you just wanted to see him, you were always welcome to hang out.  

However, there were also other ways he was more experienced than you, more than just life in general. He had a reputation for being a little bit of a man whore, for lack of a better word. Despite never having had a long-term girlfriend, you’d always heard whispers and rumours about him. The girls at school would talk about him, about his hookups, about how good he was in bed. You never asked, and he never brought it up, but you’d caught the knowing smirks, the way girls would giggle when he walked by. Yet those girls would never know you were his first kiss, when the two of you were younger and watched a movie, cringing at how a husband and wife kissed. You had asked if he had ever kissed someone before, and to your surprise he said no. You hadn’t either, so you were both curious, and ended up kissing each other, before groaning at how disgusting it was. You had no idea how your best friend Noah Sebastian, who once said he’d never kiss again, had built this kind of reputation. 

However, it never bothered you that you were lacking that kind of experience, not until your friends began talking about sex. Sophia was the first to lose her virginity to her long term boyfriend, Miley next with her vacation fling, then Emily with a drunken hookup at a party. This left you and Beth, or at least until Beth sent a random message to your group chat one night, starting with “you’ll never guess what just happened", but she never said who she lost it to.

This left you feeling a little left out. You wanted to do it, and not just because they had. You wanted to know how it felt, if it was really as good as people say. The only issue was that you’ve never had a boyfriend, or any partner, not really. You’d get involved with guys, and you’d really like them until they said how they didn’t like how close you were with Noah. 

But you didn’t blame them. 

Because right now, you and Noah were sprawled out on his couch, your legs resting in his lap. He had noticed there’s been something on your mind all day, all week even, because he can always tell. You were quieter, not laughing when he made a funny comment. And right now, you were chewing on your lip, staring at the TV screen but not quite watching the movie. 

Noah shifted beneath you, letting out a dramatic sigh before tapping his fingers against your shin. 

“Alright, spit it out,” he said, not even looking at you. “You’ve been chewing on your lip so hard I’m surprised it's still there.”

You blinked, snapping out of your thoughts. 

“Huh?”

“Whatever’s been on your mind all night. You suck at hiding things from me, you know that.” He finally turned to look at you, brows raised. “So, what’s up? You flunk a test? Accidentally shoplifted again? New crush?… Had your first wet dream or something?”

Your face immediately burned, and you kicked at his thigh. 

“No, you freak!”

Noah just grinned, clearly pleased with himself for getting a reaction out of you. 

“Then what? You’re acting all… I don’t know… Weird?”

You hesitated. Your eyes flickered back to the TV, even though you weren’t watching it. The words were sitting right there on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t push them out.

Noah nudged you again. 

“C’mon, just tell me... It’s me.” He said, his voice softer.

That was the thing. It was him. Your best friend. The one person who never judged you for anything, ever. The one person you trusted with your life. If you couldn’t tell him, then who could you tell?

You swallowed, suddenly feeling a little ridiculous. 

“Everyone has done it except me.” You muttered, your voice small as you picked at a loose thread on your sweater.

Noah blinked. 

“Huh?”

You groaned, covering your face with your hands. 

“God, don’t make me say it, Noah.”

A beat of silence. Then, his voice dropped lower, amused but curious. 

“…Ohh...”

You peeked at him between your fingers, and you watched a slow smirk spread across his face. 

“You’re talking about sex.” He nodded.

You groaned again, your face burning up.

“Shut up.”

Noah laughed, leaning his head back against the couch. 

“Y'know I was only joking about the wet dream thing, but wow, okay. So, let me guess… Your friends won’t shut up about it, and now you’re all stressed because you’re still a virgin?”

You sighed, letting your hands fall into your lap. 

“Kind of. I don’t know. I mean, yeah, they talk about it a lot now... And it’s not like I wanna do it just because they have.” You hesitated, then shrugged. “But I have been thinking about it for a while, and I do wanna do it, I want to know what it's like...”

Noah hummed, tilting his head. He wasn’t teasing anymore. He was watching you carefully, taking in the way you were fiddling with the hem of your sleeve. Then, after a pause…

“You got someone in mind?”

You froze, feeling your stomach flip.

This was the part where you were supposed to laugh it off. This was the part where you should’ve said something like “yeah, Oli Sykes”, or simply “no, not really.”

But you didn’t.

Because you did have someone in mind, and he was sitting right next to you.

You hesitated for a second too long, and Noah caught it. His smirk deepened, eyes narrowing slightly. 

“Ohh, so there is someone?”

You huffed, shifting against the couch. 

“Maybe.”

Noah grinned, slinging an arm over the back of the couch. 

“Lemme guess…” He pretended to think, then snapped his fingers. “Folio?”

Your head snapped toward him. 

“What?!”

“I mean, it makes sense,” he said with a shrug, like it was obvious. “You guys always have this kinda tension-”

“We do not!” You gawked at him. 

Noah just laughed, shoving your legs off of him. 

“Relax, I’m just messing with you.”

You scowled. 

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot,” he shot back, grinning. Then, as if it was an afterthought, he added, “Folio knows what he's doing though, he already popped someone’s cherry.” 

“What?! Who?!”

Noah gave you a look. 

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?”

He blinked. Then, like he’d just realised,

“Oh... Fuck.”

Your stomach twisted. 

“Noah.”

He winced, running a hand through his hair. 

“Shit. Well. Uh…”

“Noah. Who?”

He groaned. 

“Look, I wasn’t supposed to say anything, so just… don’t be weird about it, okay?” He sighed, then muttered, “Beth.”

Your jaw nearly hit the floor. 

“Beth?!”

“Shhh!” Noah reached over and clamped a hand over your mouth as if she would hear you, glaring at you. “Jesus, this stays between us, unless you want her to murder me?”

You shoved his hand away, still reeling. 

“Beth… and Folio?”

Noah rolled his eyes. 

“Yes. Apparently. I found out a few days ago, and he made me swear not to tell anyone because they need to talk about it first or something...” He gave you a pointed look. “So if you tell your little girl gang, I’m dead. You hear me? Dead!"

You barely heard him. You were still processing the fact that Beth, the same Beth who used to pretend to gag at the mention of Folio’s name, had slept with him? No wonder she’d been weird about it all.

Noah watched your face closely, then smirked. 

“So, I guess that means Folio’s off the table for you anyway, huh?”

You rolled your eyes. 

“He was never on the table, Noah.”

“Uh-huh,” he said, unconvinced. “So, who is it then?”

Your breath hitched.

This was it. 

The moment of truth.

Your pulse pounded in your ears as you forced yourself to meet his gaze. 

His teasing expression softened slightly, like he could tell you were about to say something important.

You swallowed hard.

“I was wondering, what if it was… You?” Your voice was barely above a whisper. 

Noah blinked.

Then, after a beat,

“Huh?”

Your face burned. You looked away, gripping the hem of your sweater. 

“I mean, there's nobody I trust more, nobody I'd feel safer with…I want you to be my first.”

Silence.

Your heart nearly pounded out of your chest.

Then all he said to that was,

“…Oh.”

You’d fucked it. Your entire life. You had ruined the one friendship you never wanted to throw away. He was going to hate you forever. This was it. 

However, Noah just blinked, still processing your words. Then, his lips curled into a smirk.

“Me?” he repeated, his voice dripping with amusement.

Your face burned hotter. 

“Forget it,” you muttered, moving to sit up. “It was stupid.”

But before you could escape, his hand shot out, catching your wrist. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” His grip was firm but gentle, like he didn’t want you running away just yet. “You want me to take your virginity? You want me to… have sex with you?”

You swallowed hard, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“…Maybe.”

Noah let out a low chuckle. 

“Damn. Never thought I’d hear that one.” He leaned in slightly, voice dropping to a teasing murmur. “What, you finally realised I am the hottest guy you know?”

You groaned, even though you were glad he wasn’t being weird about it like you feared he would be. 

“Noah-“

“Or…” He cut you off, eyes glinting with mischief. “Have you just been thinking about how good I’d be at it? You heard the stories, huh?”

Your breath caught in your throat.

That smug look deepened. 

“Ohhh, that’s it, isn’t it?”

“Shut up.” You shoved his shoulder. 

He laughed, easily taking the hit. 

“Hey, I get it. You don’t wanna waste it on some idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing, someone who won’t treat you right.” He leaned back, stretching his arms over the couch. “Smart girl, you gotta raise your standards somehow.”

You frowned. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, if I do this, you’re never gonna be able to settle for some mediocre guy after me.” Noah grinned. 

“You tell all your hookups that?”

Noah snorted, before looking at you a little more seriously. 

“If this is really what you want, I’ll do it. I just don’t want you to… I dunno…”

“Feel weird about it?”

“Yeah,” he swallowed, “It doesn’t have to change anything between us, okay? If you don’t want it to.”

“I don’t.” You shook your head, “I trust you, Noah, I know you’ll take care of me, I know I’ll feel safe, and if I want to stop I know you will.” 

Noah felt his heart flutter at your words, his hand resting on your thigh. 

“You don’t know what that means to me, sweetheart.” 

That damn pet name, the one he would randomly throw out, the one that would make your heart skip a beat. 

“So… When do you want to do it?” He asked, a playful glint in his eye before he continued, “Cause y’know, I’m quite a busy guy-”

“Oh, yes, because I’m just going to book an appointment to have sex with my best friend.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. You were so glad he wasn’t making this feel too serious or too daunting, “I’m not doing anything now? Or later tonight?”

“I was gonna go to Jesse’s party,” Noah said, “But this sounds much better.”

You felt yourself blush. 

“You gonna tell Jesse you’re busy?”

“Nah, he’ll forget about me by the time he’s had a couple beers.” He smirked, standing up and reaching a hand out to you, “We don’t have to do it right now, but-”

“I want to.” You swallowed, worried you sound too eager, “If you do too?" 

He smiled. 

“Of course, c’mon.” 

Your fingers slid into his, warm and solid, and he tugged you up effortlessly. Your heart was pounding as he led you toward his bedroom, every step making the reality of the situation sink in.

You were really doing this.

With Noah.

Your best friend.

You weren’t sure what you expected to feel when you walked into his room, but it was so normal. The bed was unmade, his hoodie was draped over the chair, and there was an empty water bottle on the nightstand. It was the same place you’d hung out a million times before, except this time, you weren’t just here for a movie night, or to listen to his demos for his new band, Bad Omens.

Noah turned to face you, his expression soft. 

"You okay?"

You nodded, but he didn’t seem convinced.

"You can back out," he said gently. "Doesn’t have to happen tonight."

You swallowed hard. 

"I know."

Noah studied you for a moment longer before stepping closer, reaching up to brush his fingers over your cheek. His touch was soft, much softer than you expected. 

"You still want this?"

"Yeah… I do."

His smirk returned, but there was something different about it now. Something almost possessive as he looked in your eyes. 

"Good," he murmured. "Because I want it too."

He shut the door, making sure to lock it just in case, and his eyes softened as he looked at you standing in the middle of his room, looking a little anxious. 

"Nervous?" He asked

You swallowed, shifting from foot to foot. 

"A little."

"That’s normal, you don’t know what to expect." He smiled, before gesturing to the bed. "Come here."

You obeyed, sitting on the edge, hands placed in your lap. Noah crouched in front of you, hands braced on your thighs, not to push, not to rush, just grounding you.

"You will tell me if you wanna stop at all, yeah? If anything doesn't feel good?"

You nodded, but he raised an eyebrow. 

"Say it."

"I’ll tell you if I wanna stop."

Noah gave a satisfied nod. 

"Good girl."

A shiver ran through you, but before you could dwell on it, he squeezed your knees. 

"Alright, sweetheart, let’s get you comfy."

He stood, peeling his hoodie off over his head, leaving him in just a t-shirt and sweats. It wasn’t a show, just something casual, but your mouth still went dry.

"Your turn.” He prompted, nodding toward you.

Your fingers fumbled at the hem of your sweater. It felt different like this, being undressed for someone. You hesitated, and Noah caught on immediately.

"Here," he murmured, nudging your hands away. "Let me."

His fingers were steady as he pushed your sweater up, slow and careful. 

"Arms up, baby."

Your heart skipped a beat at the name, but you obeyed, letting him tug it off and toss it aside. The cool air prickled against your skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat in his gaze as he looked you over, watching as you slowly took off your bra, tossing it down with your sweater and his hoodie.

"Damn.” He muttered under his breath.

Your stomach twisted. 

"What?"

His lips quirked up slihgtly. 

"Nothing. Just… you’re pretty."

Your face burned, and you looked away, but Noah wasn’t having it. His fingers brushed your jaw, tilting your chin up. 

"Don’t get shy on me now, we both know this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you naked."

You swallowed hard, but you nodded. He was right. You and Noah had no shame, you could and would get changed in front of each other and it was never weird, sometimes you’d even go into the bathroom and sit with each other when you were in the bath or shower, just to talk about day. You knew he’d never look at you in a way that would make you feel uncomfortable, and he knew the same about you. The bond you had was truly unbreakable, so you were hoping you weren’t making a mistake here tonight.

"Okay. Lay back for me, sweetheart." Noah said softly. 

You did as he asked, heart hammering against your ribs as you stretched out on, laying back his bed. The sheets smelled like him, clean, familiar and safe. There was nowhere else you could ever imagine this happening.

Noah climbed in next to you, leaning on one arm while his other hand trailed lightly over your stomach. 

"We’ll go slow, alright? Let’s start easy."

And then, his fingers traced lower.

“No one else has ever touched you like this before?” He asked, although he was certain he knew the answer.

“No.” You shook your head. 

“What about… You?” His voice was lower this time, and his fingers moved slowly down, like he had all the time in the world, before they brushed the waistband of your shorts. "Have you ever touched yourself?"

“I’ve tried.” You swallowed, “But I’ve never…” 

“Never came?”

You shook your head, feeling your cheeks heat up again.

“Oh, angel,” he pouted, “Should’ve told me sooner.” 

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, giving you a look to ask for permission, and once you nodded he slowly slid them down your legs, leaving you in just your panties.

“You still sure about this?”

“Yes, you idiot.” You smirked, fighting back the nerves swirling in your tummy. 

“Okay, good.” He smiled, searching your face for a moment before slowly leaning down, capturing your lips with his. 

You expected it to feel weird, kissing him, but it didn’t. Nothing had ever felt so right. 

His kisses began at your lips as he pawed at your chest, his thumb rolling over your nipple, but then they trailed down, past your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, between your breasts, your stomach…

Until he reached where you were now aching for release, for him. 

He kissed over your hip, your upper thighs, but then he stopped, his fingers tracing the edge of your panties as he kneeled between your thighs.

“You’ve seriously never came before?”

“No.” You swallowed, trying to steady your breathing as his thumb brushed down against the damp fabric. 

“Mmm, we’ll change that, sweetheart. I promise.” 

Your breath hitched as his thumb pressed down a little harder, rubbing up and down over your clothed clit. His head rested on your thigh, looking up at you with a lazy smile, as if he could spend the rest of his life like this. 

“Already so wet for me…”

“Noah…” You whined, your hands covering your face after a small whimper escaped your lips. 

“Hey, don’t get shy now,” he reached for your arms, moving your hands away from your face, “You wanted this, right… Unless you want me to stop-”

“No.” You said, leaving no room for hesitation. 

He smirked, his thumb still rubbing over your clit, in slow, lazy circles. A soft gasp left your lips, your thighs tensing.

"There we go," he murmured, watching you closely. "Feels good, doesn’t it?"

You nodded quickly, biting your lip.

Noah hummed in approval. 

"Why don't we make it even better."

With that, he hooked his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and tugged them down, leaving you completely bare beneath him. He had seen you before, but never up this close. His gaze flickered over you, dark and unreadable, before he leaned down, pressing a kiss to your hip.

"Relax for me," he murmured against your skin. "Just let me take care of you, okay?"

His fingers found you again, and this time, there was nothing in the way. For a moment he just looked at you, parting your folds with his fingers, feeling his heart race as he let his thumb ghost over your clit, watching you shiver. He'd be lying if he said he had never thought about this before.

"You’re so soft, baby," he murmured, his voice thick. "And so wet. I barely have to do anything, and you’re already falling apart for me."

Your breath came in short, uneven gasps as he moved, one finger sliding through your slick folds, testing and teasing. Your hips jerked involuntarily, seeking more, and he chuckled softly.

"Easy, sweetheart." His thumb found your clit again, rubbing in slow, lazy circles. "See? That feels good, huh?"

"Y-yeah…"

"You ever touch yourself like this?"

You shook your head, unable to form words. Every time you had touched yourself, it had never felt this good. Nothing has ever felt this good.

His smirk deepened. 

"No wonder you never finished. You weren’t doing it right."

You wanted to argue, but the way his fingers were moving, so sure and precise, like he knew exactly what to do, made it impossible to do anything except moan softly.

"Listen to you," he murmured, voice dripping with satisfaction. "So needy. Never heard you make those pretty sounds before."

Your face burned. 

"Noah-"

"Shh, just let me hear you, sweetheart."

And then, before you could process it, he slowly slipped a long finger inside you.

Your breath caught, thighs attempting to squeeze shut around his hand. 

"Oh-"

"There you go,"* he soothed, pressing a kiss to your lower stomach. "Nice and slow, just like that… Feel good?"

You nodded, biting down on your lip. 

He moved carefully, giving you time to adjust, his thumb still working soft, teasing circles over your clit. The mix of sensations already had your toes curling, your back arching off the bed.

"Ohh good girl," he praised, his voice dropping into something lower, something almost possessive, you never thought you’d ever have the chance to see this side of your best friend. "You’re taking me so well."

A whimper slipped from your lips, and Noah groaned softly. 

"Fuck, baby, you’re already squeezing me so tight…"

He added another finger, stretching you just a little more, and your whole body tensed.

"You okay?"

You nodded quickly. 

"Y-yeah, just-"

"Different?" He finished for you.

"Yeah."

"Mmm. You’re doing so good for me." He pressed another soft kiss to your stomach, his fingers never stopping. "Just let go, sweetheart. I’ve got you."

And then, if it couldn’t get any better, he curled his fingers just right, hitting a spot that had you gasping, gripping his other wrist like it was the only thing keeping you grounded.

“Oh my…” Your head was spinning, you felt like you were just going to float away if you let go of his hand. 

"That’s it,"* he murmured, his voice rougher now. "Fuck, you feel soo good…"

It was too much, too good, your stomach tightening, your breath coming in quick, desperate gasps.

"Noah, I-"

"I know, baby. Give in to it, let yourself go… Cum for me…"

His thumb pressed down just a little harder, his fingers curling at the same time, and that it was it.

You let out a loud, almost pornographic moan as the pleasure crashed over you, your whole body trembling.

Noah kept moving, slower now as he worked you through your first ever orgasm, his voice soft and soothing. 

"Yeah… That’s my girl. So fucking pretty when you cum for me."

You barely registered when he pulled his fingers away, your body still trembling in the aftershocks.

When you finally opened your eyes, he was staring down at you, his pupils blown, his lips parted slightly.

"See?" he murmured, bringing his slick fingers to his lips and sucking them clean, moaning as his gaze locked onto yours. "Told you it'd feel good."

You couldn’t believe what had just happend, or how amazing that had just felt. 

But you knew one thing for sure. You’d be chasing that feeling for the rest of your life. 

“That was…” You attempted to speak, but you were still catching your breath. 

“Good, huh? Still wanna go further?” He asked, and as he stood up from the bed your saw how tight his jeans had gotten. 

You swallowed hard, nodding your head. 

“Yes, Noah… Please…”

He let out a low breath, shaking his head with a smirk. 

"Look at you," he murmured. "So needy now, huh?"

You felt your face heat up, but you didn’t look away. You were past the point of shyness now. You wanted this. You wanted him.

Noah reached down, fingers working to undo his belt, the clinking sound sending a fresh wave of anticipation through you. 

"Still sure about this, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice softer now. "You know we don’t have to-"

"No! I want to." You interrupted, surprising even yourself with how sure you sounded.

He studied you for a second, then nodded, undoing his jeans and pushing them down along with his boxers.

Your breath hitched as he kicked them aside and climbed back onto the bed, settling between your legs.

Oh, the rumours were true. 

Becuase fuck. 

He was big.

Your reaction didn’t go unnoticed. 

"We’ll go slow," he assured you, running a hand up your thigh. "I promise."

He leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips, his bare skin warm against yours. You melted into him, fingers threading through his hair, pulling him closer.

“Can I touch you first?” You asked against his lips, and you felt his smirk, his cock twitching against your leg.

"You wanna touch me, sweetheart?" His voice was lower now, rougher, as he pulled away a little. 

You nodded your head

Noah let out a low chuckle, shaking his head slightly. 

"Fuck.. yeah, of course you can."

He moved, the two of you swapping positions. He was now half sat half laying on the bed, with you now kneeling between his legs. As you moved, he took off his shirt, revealing all those tattoos you’d catch yourself staring at, and it never went unnoticed by him.

You brought yourself back to reality, noticing his hard cock standing thick and heavy between his legs. You swallowed hard, your heart hammering as you reached out, your fingers wrapping around him hesitantly as your other hand held his thigh. 

He sucked in a sharp breath, his head tilting back slightly. 

"Oh… Jesus..."

You felt the weight of him in your hand, the warmth, the way he twitched under your touch. You ran your fingers over the length of him, testing, exploring, before stroking him slowly.

"Fuck, that’s it," he groaned, his hips twitching. "Mmm yeah… You’re a natural, baby."*

The praise made heat pool between your legs again. Emboldened, you tightened your grip slightly, stroking him with more confidence, watching the way his muscles tensed.

His jaw clenched, his breath coming in heavier now. 

"You keep that up, sweetheart, and I’m not gonna last long…"

You looked up at him, eyes wide and curious. 

"Is that bad?"

He let out a strained laugh, his hand moving to cup your face. 

"Not bad, just… fuck, I wanna be inside you so bad."

Your stomach flipped at his words, and you swallowed hard before releasing him, your voice barely above a whisper. 

"I want that too…”

"Yeah?" His dark eyes locked onto yours. 

You nodded. 

"Yeah."

A muscle in his jaw twitched as he exhaled slowly, like he was holding onto the last thread of his control. 

"Alright…"

He guided you back against the pillows, his lips brushing yours, his voice a soft murmur against your mouth. 

"Just relax for me, baby. Let me make you feel good."

He reached down between you, running the tip of his cock through your slick folds, teasing you as it nudged your still sensitive clit. 

“Is it gonna hurt?” You asked, your eyes meeting his again. 

He hesitated for a moment, he wanted so badly to say no, but he knew there may be some discomfort on your end.

“It’s your first time, so there’ll be a little stretch… It might be uncomfortable, but if it does hurt and you want to stop, tell me. Okay?”

You swallowed, nodding. 

"Yeah…"

Noah took his time, his gaze locked onto yours as he slowly began pushing inside. The stretch was unlike anything you’d ever felt before, it had you gasping, fingers tightening in his hair.

"Fuck," he groaned, voice strained. "You’re so fucking tight…"

He paused, giving you time to adjust, his lips trailing soft kisses along your jaw. 

"Talk to me, baby. You okay?"

You took a shaky breath, nodding. 

"Y-yeah… just feels… different."

He chuckled against your skin. 

"I know. Just breathe, sweetheart, I don’t want to hurt you..."

Slowly, he pushed in deeper, inch by inch, until he was buried to the hilt, fully inside you. A deep groan rumbled in his chest as he stilled, letting you adjust to his size.

"So fucking perfect," he muttered, pressing his forehead against yours as he cupped your cheek in his hand. "You feel so, so good, baby…"

You whimpered, shifting slightly, making your walls squeeze around him, and the movement made him suck in a sharp breath. 

"Fuck, don’t do that unless you want me to lose it." He warned.

You giggled breathlessly, but the sound melted into a soft moan as he rocked his hips, just barely, just enough to send sparks of pleasure through you. 

It felt good. So fucking good. 

"That’s it," he murmured, his voice like honey. "I’ve got you, sweetheart…"

He kept his pace slow at first, his movements deep and unhurried, like he wanted to savour every second, like he wanted you to feel just how much he wanted you. His hands roamed your body, fingers tracing delicate patterns over your skin, his lips pressing soft, lingering kisses along your jaw, your neck, your collarbone.

"You’re so beautiful," he murmured, his voice thick with something deeper than lust. "Feel so fucking good…"

His touch was reverent, every movement careful, every thrust making your breath hitch, making your body arch into his. He held you close, your bodies pressed together so tightly it was impossible to tell where you ended and he began.

You sighed his name, your fingers sliding into his hair, nails scratching lightly against his scalp, making him groan softly against your skin. The way he moved, the way he filled you so completely, it was overwhelming in the best way, and it felt so right. 

"Noah…"

He lifted his head, his hair falling over his face, his dark eyes locking onto yours, and the look he gave you nearly stole your breath away. Pure adoration, mixed with hunger.

"Yeah?"

"More…" Your voice was barely above a whisper, but he heard you.

Something in him snapped. He reached forward, grabbing a spare pillow and placing it beneath your hips before his grip on your waist tightened, his slow, measured thrusts turning rougher, deeper, hitting that perfect spot inside you that had your whole body trembling, all whilst his hand pushed down, applying pressure on your lower tummy.

"Oh… fuck…" You gasped, clinging to him, your legs wrapping around his waist, feeling yourself unravel beneth him.

"That’s it," he groaned, his jaw clenched, his breath ragged. "You feel that? You’re taking me so fucking well, baby…"

You were a mess beneath him now, your body writhing, desperate for more, needing to cum, needing him to push you over the edge.

"I know, baby, I know…" His voice was strained, his pace faltering as he felt you tightening around him, a sign you were close. "I’m right there with you…"

His thumb found your clit again, circling it just right, and that was it. The coil in your stomach snapped, pleasure crashing over you so hard it had you sobbing his name.

Noah groaned deeply, burying his face against your neck as he followed right after you, his whole body tensing, his grip on you tightening as he spilled inside you. He knew it was safe, he knew you were on the pill, and he always used protection with everyone else, but he knew he wanted to feel you. 

For a long moment, neither of you moved, your heavy breathing the only sound in the room. Then, slowly, he pulled out, making you whimper at the loss of contact. He pressed a lingering kiss to your temple before rolling onto his side and pulling you into his arms.

You curled into him, still catching your breath, your face tucked against his chest as his fingers traced lazy circles over your bare back.

"You okay? That wasn’t too much, was it?" He murmured, his voice softer now, still laced with the remnants of pleasure.

You shook your head sleepily, a small, blissful smile tugging at your lips. 

"Mmm it was amazing… never felt better…"

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

"Good… Y’know, I could stay like this forever."

And as you lay there in the quiet, tangled up in each other, you thought… maybe, just maybe, you could too.

Noah let you rest for a few moments, his arms wrapped securely around you, fingers still tracing slow, lazy circles over your back. But then, he shifted, pressing another kiss to your forehead before pulling back slightly.

"C’mon, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice soft but insistent. "We gotta get you up."

You groaned in protest, burrowing deeper against his chest. 

"Nooo, too comfy…"

He chuckled, giving your hip a gentle squeeze. 

"I know, baby, but we need to clean you up, and you need to pee."

Your brows furrowed as you tilted your head back to look at him. 

"Pee?"

"Mhm," he nodded, sitting up and tugging you with him. "It’s important, don’t want you getting a uti."

You blinked at him sleepily, still too blissed out to fully process what he was saying, but you let him pull you to your feet anyway. Your legs wobbled slightly, and Noah steadied you with a smirk.

"Shit, you good?"

"Mmm…" You hummed, leaning against him. "Just… a little sore."

"Yeah? Guess I did a good job then." He smirked. 

You swatted weakly at his chest, and he laughed, guiding you toward the bathroom.

Once inside, he sat you down on the toilet, crouching in front of you as he brushed some hair from your face. 

"Go ahead, baby. We’ll get you cleaned up after."

You felt your face heat up, but when you hesitated, he gave you a reassuring look. 

"It’s just me, sweetheart. Nothing to be embarrassed about."

Taking a deep breath, you did as he said. He gave you your privacy, stepping back to run the water for your bath. 

Once you were done, you let him guide you into the warm water, sighing as the heat soothed your sore muscles. Noah slid in behind you, pulling you back against his chest, his arms wrapped securely around you.

For a while, you just sat there, basking in the warmth, in the feel of him holding you. He washed your body, before pressing lazy kisses to your shoulder, his hands idly running over your arms, your stomach, your thighs. This wasn’t the first time you bathed together, and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last. Sometimes the two of you just craved closeness, the warmth of another body. 

You could stay here with him forever. 

But then…

"Yo, Noah! You home?"

Matt’s voice echoed through the house, and you tensed slightly, eyes widening. Noah let out a small groan. 

"Should we go down?" You asked, turning to look at him.

He shrugged.

 "Might as well. He’s gonna come looking for me anyway."

Reluctantly, you let him help you out of the bath, your legs still a little shaky. He grabbed a towel, wrapping it around you before drying himself off.

Once you were both dressed, Noah in a pair of sweats and you in his oversized shirt, you made your way downstairs, your body still sore but pleasantly so.

Matt was in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge when he spotted you both. His eyes flicked between you and Noah, then to the shirt you were wearing, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Tell me this is not what it looks like.”

"No, it's not." Noah chuckled, reaching around Matt and into the fridge for a couple water bottles, handing one over to you with a slight smirk.

[concreteangel92]

More memes that Noah would 100% send you if you were dating, definitely making this a series 🤣👌🏻

Original post

Warnings: sexual memes under the cut

[starsomens]

𝕂𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕟

year 1

1-3 months

Have a new baby at home was almost like having a guest in your home. Only your life revolves around them now and you’re constantly worried if they’re okay!

When you had gotten home from the hospital Keaton insisted that he was still sleepy and so stayed asleep meanwhile you and Noah were freaking a bit

“Is he supposed to sleep that much?”

“I mean his is a newborn so I guess it’s normal……is he breathing” *proceeds to put his finger under his nose “okay he is”

Keaton was more a day sleeper rather than at night….big problem. Here you were in your rocking chair trying to get him to sleep at 4:17 am. Your eyes were heavy, your arms felt like rock and you were really just ready to knock out right there. You didn’t tell Noah since he had some things to get done tomorrow

After half hour passed Noah came in rubbing his eyes and took Keaton from you

"Come on babe, it's my turn to watch him,"

"are you sure...*yawwwn* you have that meeting later today, I'll be-"

"Not gonna hear it. Get to bed now missy,"

You were so grateful to have Noah there to help you with as much as he does

Feeding, changing, bathing and night shifts were shared but he always made sure to take on a majority so you could rest more. While he did work still, he worked from home and if he had to take the whole day to help you he did.

The one thing that he did worry about was how small Keaton was. He was just so tiny in comparison to him. He held his entire body in his two hands!

He loved to do skin to skin, especially before going to sleep or while doing work at home. He knew that it was essential for bonding and just overall good for the baby. On top of that he really did enjoy just having Keaton lay on his chest and fall asleep.

When it came to breast-feeding, he was a very big help. He would help to get a good latch or he would help you with the breast pump and remind you about times and switch. Help you moisturize them to keep them from getting dry and cracked

There were nights where he would put Keaton to sleep. While he was in the rocking chair, he was just stared down at him while he stroked the soft hair on his head with his finger.

“ never really thought that I would be a dad…. Once we found out about you, it really did change everything. I swear I’m never going to leave you you need me”

He wants to give him the best life possible and the best dad that he can

3-6 months

So much development! Noah is just taken away by it! Now he's mimicking his faces, and sounds and he will spend HOURS just making faces and sounds or copying him

"babe, babe! Look he's copying me screaming face!" and he'd make his face then turn Keaton around to show you his face

He is convinced Keaton is more advanced than most kids so every time you go to the doctors he's just waiting for them to say they're perfect

the more he grows the more he looks like Noah but with your eyes. You spent 9 months carrying a copy of your husband for him to be his exact copy, but, he did take your attitude and personality

Noah swears that he gave him stank eye when he took the bottle away from feeding and said it looked exactly like you did

"Of course he is! Look at him!"

Noah Love tummy time with Keaton he was just so cute the way he smiled and giggled and tried to hold his head up. And yes He's let his head fall right on the floor and yes Noah has laughed while kissing his head better

Keaton seems to have a thing whenever Noah watches him that he just blows his diaper up almost on purpose. Noah thinks Keaton is entertained by it since he always giggles when he changes his diaper with a stank face.

yes Noah has gotten peed on

Keaton for the most part was a calm baby and seemed to like and be comfortable on schedule and would sleep and eat around the same times unless something happened

Whenever the guys are over he does hover. He hates to be called one and to admit it, but he is a helicopter parent (and it's really cute)

He 10000% takes milestone pictures every month to treasure his growth. Which by the way has cleared a wall in his studio to hand pictures of you guys on it.

Although he loves being hands on he also loves to watch you be a mom. The Keaton looked at you, how loving and soft you looked as a mom. The way your body has changed to create your baby always amazes him.

7-12 months

Keaton was now going through some changes and shifts some were better than others, including you not going to him as often when he cried. Which you hated and honestly Noah would just give in too because in his words it's

"dumb as fuck"

CRAWLING! EVERYWHERE! He underestimated how fast babies can be when they crawl But he loves to lay on the floor and let Keaton just crawl all over him or come and plop his body on his face

By now you're body has healed pretty well but still had some baby weight on you and Noah thinks you still look incredibly sexy

"but Noah look at this,"

"the body that popped out my beautiful son? Yeah I love it, now stop shit talking yourself before to bring Keaton to slobber on you"

Uses his baby as a threat against you by hold him above you and just letting his drool drip down on you (pure evil)

Speaking of drool, he's ben chewing on everything to get to his itchy gums. You noticed he started to grow teeth at around 7 1/2 month when he gave you an open mouth "kiss" you felt something rough and it was teeth! You R A N to Noah

"TEETH!"

"What?"

"TEETH!" and you just opened his mouth to show him the small stubs of teeth growing from the front gums. You were just glad you didn't catch it while you were breast feeding, welp, that means he's gonna have to bottle but you pump what you can

Now weening him was a little difficult. Even your pumped milk wasn't enough for him

"I mean, if you refused to give me your boob I'd cry too-" "Noah!"

Eventually through a lot of crying and one or two tantrums, he was moved on to bottles, now the issues was drying out your milk or whatever else was left

"If you want my hands are really big so I can just-"

"are you offering to milk me?"

"no.......maybe."

As for talking you guys have been trying to get him to say mama or dada any chance you got, but now it was a secret competition of who he would say first

Noah would basically spam him with the word Dada or Papa while you weren't around, and all lil Keaton would say was "mmmm" "buh. Buh" and blow raspberries

Now he did say his first words and it was when you had to go to a doctors appointment and he was getting fussy

"Say bye-bye to mama bud, she's gotta go"

"awh baby, I' don't want o leave you ether," you said kissing his chubby cheeks "mommy will be back soon okay?" while you hand him over to his dad he starts to whine and pout for you and said

"mama" in his sad voice as he chews at his cubby hand wanting you to stay

"HE SAID MAMA! HE SAID MAMA! Yes baby! I'm mama, that's me baby" you were ecstatic, while Noah was a bit disappointed he was still so proud to hear him say his first word, and at 8 months! You were a bit late to your appointment but hearing your baby say mama was much more important than the doctors.

but one of the biggest surprises was when he walked for the first time, and yes you both cried. It was actually at rehearsals for an upcoming show near home so you went with the guys and of course Keaton had his sound protection you were on the side of the stage holding Keaton up by his hands as you encouraged him to dance as his father sang. As he bounced up and down he was also padding his feet a lot and was just so excited for his daddy who was just out of reach

You start to move with him one foot at a time as he started to walk just a bit faster seeing how much closer he was getting to Noah, Noah turned and he saw you walking with Keaton as he held on to your fingers and crouches down with a big smile on to his knees holding out one of his arms

and just like that he let go of your fingers and stumbled his way to Noah, tripping on the last step but caught by his papa, Noah just picks him up and hides his face in his little shoulder and you know he felt emotional. An entire year went by and he didn't know how it went by so quickly, how much he had grown and how much you both had grown as parents, he comes over to you and kisses your head as Keaton just giggles as you both smoosh him in a kiss

"well, one year down."

「🍼taglist」: @badomensls @darling-millicent-aubrey @lma1986 @sanchez099 @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @flowery-mess @veronicaphoenix @malerieee @calleyx13

[iwasntstable]

Ghoul Noah. Ghoul Noah. Ghoul Noah. Ghoul Noah. Ghoul Noah.

edited by me 🖤

[valiantroeagleangel]

Varney.

Vampire! Noah Sebastian x female reader.

Varney! Noah, mention of blood, kind of dub-con but not really but a bit I think because of compulsion, oral, unprotected sex, mention of death.

I often have thoughts with Vampire! type of shit and I think I got a bit carried away gathering some of them here. Maybe I need to warn that this is inspired by the book "Varney the Vampire: The Feast of Blood." It's gothic horror I think, nothing too graphic is going on here though. But just- don't want you to be fooled, this is based on gothic gross vampires not that sparkling Edward bitch. I know nobody reads that part every time but you can't say you haven't been warned.

5.3k words if you ask.

Mama’s tag list:  @philomenie @gipsonnikki @circle-with-me @somewhere-diamond @malice-ov-mercy  @smokeynaomi @darkhallcorner  @loeytuan98  @sthnog  @cookiesupplier  @cncohshit  @lma1986  @skulliecadaver-blog @talialovesmiw @to-be-written @4rtificialfolio @arkiliastuff

"Varney enjoys all the pleasures at once and when he manages to desecrate the bed of a pretty young woman while bleeding her white in a horrible sucking sound. He is a fearsome and scary creature that usually wakes up the members of the fair sex by scratching at the window of their room."

She knew he was here. She could feel him, hear him. She could hear the same four notes he was humming, letting the melody indicate his presence to those around. She looked through the window, trying to discern the shape outside, the condensation on the glass concealing his figure. But she knew he was here, god she knew and she couldn't look away. She didn't dare to move, she didn't want him to know she knew. He did though. Of course, he did. He just didn't say anything, he couldn't scare his prey. She was so innocent in her white nightgown, creeping at the window from her bed, fearing to be harmed in the middle of the night.

So he continued to sing his chords, the notes living rent-free in her mind for years now.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

It was like an obsessive thought, it intruded her mind, and it ate her brain. All she could do was hum along every time she heard them.

She knew he was here, she always did. And even if she abhorred it to hell, all she could do was to be haunted by these notes. They were so mesmerizing, like she was compelled to appreciate them, finding comfort in them even though they seemed terrifying.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She murmured them like a mantra, like it would save her from damnation. As if they were going to keep him away from her when he was the one living by their harmony.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

It wasn't that hard. Actually, if she tried, she was sure she could play them on the piano.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She was just a child then, not so long ago, when she first heard these four notes. That day he left a letter. "I'll come for you, my yuri." Yuri was not her name and by then she had no fucking clue of what he meant. She still doesn't. With time, the years went by and he started to reach for her again. It was first once a month, then once every two weeks, to finally once a week. The more she grew the more he seemed to visit. He was frightening her. He looked so tall, so massive and impressive. She only saw his face once, disguised in the darkness of her room. It was the only time he approached her that close and despite the terror she felt that night all she could remember was his long nose and the way his hair framed his face.

But while he continued his visits, he never tried anything to harm her to her surprise. She knew what he was, she often heard the elder talk about these creatures that come for you at night. But she liked to think he was some kind of protector. Oh, only if she knew. His intentions were everything but caring and kind. He wanted her. From the moment he saw her as a child, he wanted her, he wanted her blood. She smelled like no other.

His first thought was to get rid of her as a child, get a good meal from her and leave her for dead in the snow in front of her house. But even for him, killing that innocent child was too much. So he waited, promising himself a good feast for the years to come. He just had to watch for her, to be sure that no one would try to harm his prey. They called him Varney, Varney the vampire, attacking only those who were pure enough to be maidens. But as the years passed he never acted. He could have assailed her a thousand times now. She was not a child anymore and she lived so carefree- that girl was completely unconscious. He needed to act and to act soon before she would do something that would ruin her forever.

But he did nothing, he watched her for years, he observed how she evolved, how she went from that sweet smiling child to the woman she was today. And god, he was happy he waited because nothing ever smelled as divine as her. She smelled like strong lilies, yuri.

Yuri was the Japanese appellation for lilies. He didn't know her name, even after all these years he didn't look into it. He didn't need to know his prey, all he needed to was watch over her. Watch how happily she danced during the spring balls, how sad she cried during the dead season at the end of the autumn, how charming she was for the Christmas time, and how fragile she looked alone in her bed at night. That poor nightgown wasn't doing her any favour, he swore that if he squinted just a bit more he could see everything. That clothing was so see-through that she might be freezing to death during those stormy nights.

One day he dropped her a cloth, some kind of duvet for her body to heat. It was the only time he actually entered her room, hoping for her to be dead asleep. Unfortunately, she was not, and she saw his face. He knew she did, he only hoped for her to not remember, to think that it was some kind of dream. Only that she wasn't dumb, she knew he was lurking for her all these years and she knew he was here that night, next to her bed. At first, she thought she was good to die, the time had come. A stranger in her room watched her sleep like a psychopath, but he only dropped that duvet, and she knew it was him. He hummed for her and her body relaxed immediately. He had tamed her, had domesticated her. She wasn't even worried about him intruding on her space like that.

He knew he did a great job then, even if she saw what she was supposed to never see, his face.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Winter balls have never been her thing. She much preferred the ones that were held in the spring or the summer. The celebrations were different, more festive. During the winter the balls were cold, held in big mansions from the ones who were welcoming all the people. Often they were masquerade parties, and she hated that too. She didn't like wearing that mask all night, it was itching and making her face sweat like a pig. Gosh, she hated them, and that corset dress too. It was so tight she could barely breathe. Spring balls were allowing more liberties, no masks, no dresses, nothing but dancing.

Nonetheless, she still walked through that hall, finally entering that marble castle and she couldn't help but appreciate the heat that welcomed her. Greeted by some kind of butler she walked through the corridors, reaching the room of the festivities.

She stared at the impressive chandelier, overwhelmed by all the luxury that surrounded her. She didn't have any idea whose house it was this time. Winter balls were held by the nobles of the land, one by one, it's all she needed to know, at least that's what she lived by.

And just like that the night went, she danced around with some people, chatted with others, it was all pleasant until she couldn't take it anymore. Politely she escaped the small group she was with, reaching for a balcony of some kind as she hoped for some air. That corset was for sure killing her. She laughed to herself, the idea of being killed by her awful garments making her smile a little.

"Oh no the poor lady suffocated in that way too tight dress, who's idea it was? We should strip her naked to see!" She mimicked some kind of rude man by herself, laughing even more at her antics. Maybe she was drunk, maybe it was the heat obstructing her brain, but she found that pleasant enough.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Until he called for her. She first thought her brain was playing her tricks, but he called again.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She looked up, then down, looking for that well-known figure, only to notice him hidden among the roses of the garden below. She moved as fast as she could, hoping to actually be able to catch him tonight. She had so many things to ask, but she wasn't afraid, curiosity was gnawing at her.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

He sang the chord again and she let his voice guide her through the labyrinth of flowers and small trees she was losing herself in.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

"Come for me, my yuri."

He talked to her and for the first time, she felt like she heard his voice, like he was real, like all of this was concrete.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She couldn't see him yet, but the more she walked the more the melody became persistent.

"Yuri."

He guided her with his voice, keeping it sultry, as soft as his sweet words. Once again transported by his melodies, all she could do was search for him, she was completely frenetic, obsessed. She needed him, she needed more. She wondered why every time she heard him sing she couldn't feel fear anymore. As if he was some kind of saviour, an angel from heaven.

And then she saw him, standing in front of the fountain, hidden by thousands of thorns and roses. She recognized that tall frame and that nose. It's all she could remember him by, the long nose, so straight, so pretty, making him look so elegant.

She was in awe, her eyes staring straight into his, her lips agape. She didn't even dare to swallow, worried he might disappear at any second as if he was supernatural. He wasn't real, he wasn't human, she swore he was not. But he was clearly not an angel either. His aura was so dark and she remembered why she feared him at first.

His eyes pierced through her skin and she suddenly felt naked, as if she was not the one only wearing nightgowns in front of him every night for the past ten years. It was so different from what he used her to, he actually looked terrifying, as she remembered him from when she was a kid. He felt the change in her mood, felt how frightened she became in an instant. And without her even realizing he was by her side, in a flash, he towered over her against that thorny bush.

"It's okay my yuri, don't be afraid." He tried to soothe her, to coax her, but it didn't work that time. As if his voice had lost all of his fascinating power.

She tried to step back, only to puncture the naked skin of her arms with another thorn, a single drop of blood forming at her wound. It cascaded through her arm until it reached her hand. She felt it rolling down but her eyes were drowning in his. She couldn't look away, it didn't matter how frightened she actually was, her gaze couldn't leave his.

He licked his lower lips, the glow in his eyes darkening, and she didn't miss any of that. He swallowed hard, his eyes alternating between hers and her lips. He licked his once again, until he couldn't bear it one more minute. Carefully, he approached his face to hers, brushing his lips on hers.

"You’re bleeding Yuri." he whispered and she swallowed hard, her voice stuck in her throat. "Be careful, we wouldn't want to hurt that delicate flower."

Was he talking about her or about the roses behind her? She had no idea but she still blushed and he stepped back, leaving her some personal space again while she realized she actually had stopped breathing for several seconds now. He held his hand to her as he went sitting on the edge of the fountain.

She followed obediently, actually taking his hand in her as he pulled her toward him, startled by how hot she was compared to him. He made her stand between his spread legs, turning her so he could face her back. His eyes fell on the blood spreading on her arm, strings of red tarnishing the purity of her skin. Hypnotized by it he let his fingers travel from her hand to her forearms and the upper arms, brushing gently her skin in his path, ever so slowly, as delicate as he saw her. The scent of it was becoming intoxicating and he wished he could smell more, touch more, feel the thickness of the blood between his fingers, he wanted to taste her so badly. She smelled like lilies but would she taste like lilies too?

"Yuri." It escaped him, a murmur that he couldn't refrain from, it's all he was thinking about. Lily, Yuri. He didn't move, he didn't even try to act like nothing happened, he just fixated on the blood imprinting her skin. He hadn't smelled it in years but it smelled as divine as the first time he saw her. It was even more sacred than that day.

"What does Yuri mean?" She asked, clueless, as she stared at the bush where she actually hurt herself. Her voice startled him, he wasn't used to hearing her. He found that sweet, so sweet. She was all her blood was, he was sure of that and he wondered, for a second, if he wasn't just infatuated with her.

"Lily." He answered calmly, but if his heart was still actually beating he swore he would be breaking.

"Lily as the flower?" He only hummed at her as a form of answer. His thumb brushed the wound and she didn't react. He wished she would have hissed or whined, but she didn't, she only stayed still, staring at the bush. "Why?"

The more his thumb caressed her the more she relaxed into his touch, as if she wasn't terrified minutes before.

"Because-" He stopped, thinking of what he was about to say actually. "Just because. You don't need to know."

When he finally took his finger away, he brought it to his lips, allowing himself to taste, just for a bit, just a tidbit as his tongue licked it more than he should have.

The taste lingered in his mouth and thinking suddenly became hard, way too hard for the simple man he used to be. Worried by the absence of sounds he was making she turned back, facing him.

He looked at her from under, curled up on himself as he revelled himself in the flavour of her blood. Eyes dark and bloodshot, canines peeking through, long nails finishing his hands. When she realized what he was actually doing her eyes widened. His lips were stained with the liquid. For an unknown reason, she found him absolutely gorgeous. He looked so needy, it actually surprised her. How could the strong figure ensuring her at night look so weak under her like that?

Caught red-handed, he tried to compose himself to not lose the imposing presence he tried so hard to give himself these past few years. But the blood still on his lips, he couldn't behave decently. He felt so stupid, like a horny teenager, all he wanted was her.

Completely incautiously, she approached her fingers, wiping his lips and her blood away. When her fingers left his mouth he chased her, chased the heat of that alive body and the taste that was coming along, the taste he was losing. She could have touched his canine in that moment, she could have injured herself badly by unleashing that part of him. She hadn't noticed them but they were menacing to pierce through her weak skin and suck the life out of her. It's all he had been dreaming of all these years, he was so close to his goal, if only he dared to catch her.

But in the silence of the night a couple came to disturb their peace, distracting her attention away from him for a couple of seconds, acknowledging the two persons stepping into the garden. And when she eventually looked back at him he had disappeared, like he vanished into the night.

She cursed, startled by how quickly he was to leave. She knew he was able to do that, she was just not expecting him to do it tonight. She was so close, terrified but yet drowned to him, and now he faded without even telling her his name. She sighed, desperate as she sat on the edge of the fountain, trying to process what just had happened.

On his side, he cussed everybody who dared to put themself between himself and her. He was so close finally, if only he got a few more minutes he could have ravished her right here right now. How stupid he was to have hesitated even one second, he was getting weak and it was something that he couldn’t allow.

Following that event, the nights passed and looked all the same, dull, cold, and annoying. He didn't come for a total of nine nights, she counted them all. Nine nights were she was, in fact for the first time since her childhood, free from his gaze. She could have left, she could have brought someone home, she could have done all the things she doesn't dare to do when she knows he's lurking at her, but she did nothing.

On that ninth night though, she knew he was here. Despite the absence of melody, she could feel him, she could tell how disguised he was in the shadow, like he was actually for once ashamed of what he was doing. Because all he was, in fact, was a creep, lurking at a woman's window every night. And when it finally hit her all she could do was clench her legs. He was here for her, he was watching her every night, in that white nightgown, that little dress, revealing her naked body underneath, and he was here, and he was watching her.

Her legs clenched once again and she rolled into her bed, trying to chase her thoughts away but she was still feeling his presence. It was burning her, every ounce of the sheets her body was touching tingled. She rolled over and over, the image of that needy man, sucking on her blood, his fingers in his mouth like he was starving. She clenched her legs. Again. She was so petite under him, against the bush, her body hitting the thorns. Again. Was it the blood? Would he come for her if she was bleeding again? Again.

She wanted him to come for her, she wanted to ask him his name and feel his cold fingers on his arms once again.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She called for him, naturally, like he called for her but he didn't answer, he stayed in his darkness, unsure of what to do. Did she want him to devour her all? Did she know what he had planned to do?

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She called again, tempting him, playing with the little nerves he had.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Like a plea, she called him, she called for his furtive touch, his calloused fingers, she called for him to get out of the darkness. And when he finally dared to step out of the corner, she realized that he wasn't outside like she thought he was. He was in her room. Like he did the first time he saw her wearing that ridiculous nightgown. Her eyes widened at her -expected- unexpected visitor.

He approached her bed as she straightened herself, switching positions to sit on her feet, revealing herself. His hands approached her face, his fingers caressing the top of her cheek and she shivered, the contact surprising her, his coldness contrasting with her hot body.

"Shh, it's too late to be afraid, Yuri." As always, his voice relaxed her and she leaned into his touch, her face chasing his hand until he cupped his whole cheek, his fingers reaching from behind her ears. His thumb stroked her face and she sighed, closing her eyes, like it was her missing piece. She didn't understand why but she felt herself ignite. She was burning and the more he gently caressed her face the more she was catching on fire.

In a movement, as furtive as always, he sat on the bed, the mattress not making a single sound as it was used to. When she finally opened her eyes back, she met his gaze and it all suddenly became hard to breathe. She wanted to call him, to whisper his name but she had no idea of who he was, so she only murmured a quiet "please." that looked more like a whine than anything else, it was a supplication. She didn't know what she was pleading for but she did, she needed to get freed from this, whatever it was, and she knew he was the one who was going to help her. It felt like evidence, he was the one who was going to free her from that painful agony.

"Please what? Tell me, my sweet lily." He asked, his free hand cupping her other cheek and she closed her eyes again, expecting a kiss that never came. Why would he have kissed her? She didn't know, but she knew he was about to, she saw it, she felt it, she-

"Kiss me." She asked for it, the words escaping her without her consent, like he compelled her to do so. "Please kiss me-"

She wanted to call his name again but was dismissed that right, her lack of knowledge of his person showing. It scared her once again, how ready she was to give herself to that man she barely knew, how she let him watch her all these years, it wasn't herself, she was scared of him but why did it feel so good at that very moment?

But thoughts became long forgotten when she felt his lips on her, chastely moving in rhythm, like another chord. It's all she needed to lose it, she didn't think anymore, a violent moan leaving her when he pressed himself even more on her. Their two bodies flopped on the bed, her back hitting the mattress as he quickly settled himself on top of her without ever breaking the kiss. He could have done whatever he wanted with her, she was putty in his hand at that very moment, she belonged to him the second he put his hands on her nine nights ago.

He kissed her as if his life depended on it, as if he wasn't already half-dead, he was drowning in her scent. The more he kissed her the more she whined into his arms, her scent becoming stronger and stronger. He was drunk on her, he could feel her blood rushing through her whole body, he could hear how fast her heart was beating, how hot and aroused she was just from his kisses. When he finally broke apart for real, letting her gasp for air, he analyzed her, the needy look she was giving him, as if she needed this as much as he did, as she didn't need to live, what was her life in comparison to man's touch?

She wanted to ask for his name again, and finally, as if he read her mind, he breathed out, his mouth drawn to her neck.

"Noah." His mouth attached itself, almost automatically to her skin and he dared, just so little, press his teeth against her carotid, enough to just feel the blood pump under his touch.

She tilted her head back at the contact, sighing. "Noah." She repeated and he nodded, smiling in the crook of her neck as he travelled on her body. She was smelling so good, he was going crazy, the more he approached her heart the more excited he was. His lips landed on her clavicle, her cleavage and when he finally dared reach that devil gown, who taunted him so many times, he ripped it, freeing her chest from the fabric. He almost moaned at the sight of her bare body, like it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life, and it was. She was almost glowing in his eyes, like she was coming straight from heaven and he wondered how it was possible for a creature of the devil like him to be able to reach for the gods through her.

"Noah." She called again, cautiously, like these words would hurt her if she said them too fast or too loud.

He hummed against her, his head already diving into her chest, his lips attached to her left breast he sucked on it, feeling her heart pump under him, feeling the blood coming to his mouth as he sucked a bit more vividly. Until he sucked enough for his teeth to pierce through her skin, her blood escaping her without her being able to contest or fight. All she could feel was the euphoria that his touch was giving her.

The taste of her was like a relief, it was the best thing he ever put in his mouth, after centuries of existence. It was the sweetest of the nectars. When he was still human he recalled once drinking a wine called "The Wine of the Gods." The best one ever created. But he swore it was nothing compared to her. Nothing could compete with that delicate sweetness, she tasted like she smelled and he couldn't stop. He wondered if her pussy tasted the same, his intrusive thoughts battling against him and his will to feed. He couldn't get his teeth out of her breast but god- her pussy, scented as divine as her blood and he wanted to taste her so bad.

He opened his eyes back but it was too late, she was already too far away from her pleasure, drowning in all the sensations she was feeling. When he finally collected enough will he left her chest, not without regrets, to pamper her with kisses, travelling through her stomach to reach her bare pussy. She didn't bother herself with underwear at night and he couldn't be more glad for that.

He kissed her pelvis, his mouth not leaving her skin for more than a few seconds. And when he finally dared to settle between her legs, when she automatically spread them for him, all he wanted to do was thrust violently into her and bite her neck until she would cry from the pain. But he did nothing of that, he gently bit her inner thigh, delecting himself with the so little blood he took.

Finally deciding to put his hands to good use, he grabbed her by the hips, his fingers sinking in their fat as he pushed her to his face. She squirmed under him, her hands reaching for his hair by instinct. All she wanted was to push him more and more on her, begging him to speed up his pace. She was dying for his touch, completely compelled and mesmerized by her predator, just like he wanted her.

But the predator liked to play too much. He only teased her, keeping his slow motions, nice and gentle, groaning when she would moan a little bit louder or push him a little bit too hard.

He was quick to get how her body worked and how she reacted in a certain way. Soon he had his two hands grabbing her legs to put them on his shoulders, his tongue pressed against her cunt with such fervour. His nose rubbed her clit, making her moan. Her hands immediately left his hair to cover her mouth, refraining from her sounds but he was quick to move, leaving his spot between her legs to reach her face, grabbing her hands to move them away from her mouth.

"Let me hear you Yuri, let me hear the holy sounds you make." Quickly, he regained his place back, his tongue pushing itself on her folds as she moaned again.

He was cold, all of his being was freezing but it was enough to make her burn under his touch. She desired him in a way that she never desired anybody, and yet she felt so away that she wasn't sure it was her who was feeling all these emotions. Her heart was ready to explode as she pushed his head deeper against her core. She moaned and he answered back, groaning vividly between her legs.

The closer she grew to her orgasm the sweeter she tasted, it was intoxicating, it was all too much. Until she came, rocking her hips on his face, quivering between his hands and crying his name for her own sake, to remember something tangible, like all of this was real. Because she felt completely out of her body, her conscience tore apart from herself.

Nonetheless, he kept eating her, he couldn't get enough of her scent, of her taste. If he wasn't a starved man before he definitely was one now. He only pulled apart when he heard her cry his name out, completely overstimulated. And when he finally dared to look at her he understood how fucked he was. Because there was no way he was turning back now, there was no way he was letting her run free into the wild again. He just needed her body over his, he needed to be inside of her for real, to feel her alive around him. At that very moment, he didn't care about anything else, he needed to feel how warm she was, how alive she was compared to him. And when he finally achieved that feeling, when he finally thrusted into her without a care in the world he almost immediately came from the sensation. Nothing ever made him feel alive like that, even not when he was actually alive.

She cried for him but at this point, every sound she made was long forgotten, he was already gone. He heard her heart beating, like a psychotic melody. It was maddening, the more he thrusted the more he heard it.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She kept crying of pleasure, reaching for his embrace and when he finally held her between his arms she was ready to give up on her life. It was feeling all too good to be true, it wasn't her, she knew it, he was only chasing his own pleasure yet she was reaching her climax so quickly. Something wasn't right but it was too late to notice. Her arms around his back she held him closer, tightening her grasp on him to comfort herself.

She was doomed. She knew it, it was the end. She cried out, from the pain this time as she acknowledged her situation. He held her closer, feasting on her supplications, one of his hands reaching for her face, his thumb brushing away some tears."Shhh, it's okay Yuri. It's too late now." and before she could come he bit violently into her neck, the pain awakening immediately. It was violent, brutal, nothing like before. She felt her life escape her without being able to do anything while he continued to fete on her, unable to stop drinking from her, years of starvation just for that instant. But for him, it was all worth it, nothing had ever been as worth it as it was. It was delicious, excruciating all of his senses. He never felt so great in so many years. He loved those who were pure enough to be maidens, they really were a gift from the gods, descended straight from heaven and he was bringing her back to where she belonged. Away from the monstrosities of the earth. Away from himself who belonged to hell. Varney.

The chords used are from Masquerade by Versailles.

[aplaceinthedark]

chapter 6: MADE BREATH and SKIN

Summary: The Appalachian Mountains hide numerous monsters, and it's up to Taylor and the Bad Omens to prevent them from causing any harm. 

Word Count: 4.3k+

CW: mention of death, witchcraft, ritual sex, mild use of aphrodisiacs (CNC), teratophilia, female anatomy mentions on nonbinary character, swapping of bodily fluids (blood)

[Sex Stuff: Oral sex (nb receiving), overstimulation, PnV Unprotected (just cuz TeeTay has their tubes tied, doesn't mean you can get away with it. Wrap it before you yadda yadda)

This is RPF, and thus will contain real people, but names and events will be changed. If this bothers you too much, then please leave this temple without causing harm. 

A/N: It's my birthday and I'll post Noah Sebastian mild-monsterfucking smut if I want to 🥳 big thanks to @deathblacksmoke and @concretejunglefm for screaming over this for me

I brought back my AU title for this cuz it was way too fitting.

Divider by @saradika-graphics

I'm not sure what I expected when we walked into the Grove, but it certainly wasn't that I had already been here before. 

My heart rate skyrocketed when I recognized the exact spot where Nick hung in preparation to become a Vessel; where he lay as I screamed over his dead body. Why would they choose this place to do this? This was a terrible idea.  

I kicked my feet, signaling to Noah that I wanted to be put down. He loosened his grip on me and let me slide out of his arms. I felt immensely better now that I had been off my feet for the last bit of the hike, and especially now that I wasn't pressed to Noah's chest. 

My eyes kept being drawn to That Spot. “This is where Nick died,” I muttered.

“It's where we all died.”  

I turned to look up at him. “Well, except Jolly, but the river isn't too far from here." He shoved his hands into his pockets. “A lot of things happened here." 

I looked down at the ground as if I could find their bones amongst the roots and dirt. But I could now see why this place was important: there was something here that permeated the air above and the earth below. 

“Come on, we got a ritual to perform,” Noah said, tugging me back to earth by my bag strap.

He led me over to an area where a blanket had been spread. It was placed at the foot of a giant tree. I looked up into the branches, which seemed to warp and twist onto the air. They actually reminded me of Noah's antlers. Nick hadn't been kidding when he said I wouldn't be able to miss it. 

My thoughts went back to Nick. What was he doing right now? Was he going to be able to sleep tonight, knowing that I would be in someone else's arms?

“Hey! Airhead!”

Once again, Noah’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “You've got all the stuff we need,” he said, holding his hand out. 

I stuck the flashlight in my mouth to free both of my hands and started pulling stuff out to hand to him. There were seven candles of different colors, all unscented. They had something carved into the sides, but I barely had time to look. 

“I could've held the flashlights." Noah sighed in annoyance. 

“Nah,” I said, words muffled thanks to my lips being wrapped around–

Oh. Ew.

Noah placed all seven candles around the area, all equidistant from each other. He then held his hand out towards me. 

"I don't have any more," I said, mouth free of a flashlight.  

“A lighter, Airhead,” he said.  

“Oh,” I jumped, searching the jacket for a lighter. I handed it to Noah.  

“You gotta be in the circle for this part,” he said.  

I ducked my head and sheepishly stepped over the imaginary circle the candles made and moved to the center of the blanket. 

Noah went to light the candle at the base of the big tree. “That one has to be last,” I piped up.  Without missing a beat, he moved away from that candle to a different one. The wick burst to life, creating a soft glow that just barely lit the ground around it. At least I could Noah's outline now. 

As he went around the circle, I watched his back. At first, I thought it was a trick of the light, but I realized that parts of the Back Tree tattoo seemed to pulse slightly with a green glow whenever a candle's wick was lit. I guess the spell had started.

I sat down, drawing my knees up to my chest. I dug into the bag for any more things, but all that was left was the thermos. Probably some liquid courage. 

When all seven candles were lit, Noah sat down next to me. “Nick said we had to drink this," I said, holding up the thermos. I unscrewed the cap and gave it to him and poured what might've been half in it.  

"Cheers,” Noah said hesitantly, clinking the cup to the bottle. I lifted it to take a sip. 

It was not alcohol. 

It tasted… different. The consistency was like tea, but it was sweet and earthy, cloying and pepper-y. It did have a warmth to it as it settled in my stomach.  

“Alright. Now what?” I asked, holding back a burp.  

“I guess we get started?” Noah said, though he sounded unsure. 

I started taking off my jacket when Noah surprised me. “Nick told me about your boundaries.”  

“Huh?”  

“The things that made you uncomfortable?” Noah asked. I stared up at him. “Like, no blowjobs, don't refer to your–"  

"He told you about all that?” I asked, heat rising through my body.  

“Yeah, he also said he would knock my teeth in and not help grow them back if I ignored them,” he said.  

"He would,” I muttered.  

“I told him I wouldn't,” he said. I must've not looked convinced because he sighed. “Taylor, I promise I'll take care of you.” 

The sudden tenderness of that statement caught me off guard. “You… You promise?”  I asked, twisting the hems of the jacket’s sleeves between my fingers.  

He nodded, ducking his head down to touch my forehead with his. “I promise,” he stated.

It barely took anything for him to press his lips to mine. His lips were softer than I expected, taking me by surprise as his lips slanted over mine. Something shot through me, like a lightning strike, causing me to breathlessly gasp.

Suddenly, one of Noah's hands buried into my hair, holding the back of my head as he flicked the seam of my lips with his tongue. I found myself hesitating, my judgement momentarily lapsing. 

Noah must have sensed it before he pulled back. “Tay…?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

The sound of my name softly falling from his mouth pulled me back under. I raised my arms and wrapped them around his neck, making him lean down. I felt his free hand sneak around my waist to my lower back, where he pulled me up to where there was no space between our bodies. Earlier I had felt like I was being suffocated being pressed against him; his warmth leeched the cold from the Grove away, and it felt… good. Grounding, even.  

He suddenly pulled away, farther this time, leaving me dazed. "Breathe," he commanded, his voice not affected by our activity. I blinked up at him. His eyes were dark, lit only by the candlelight flickering around us. “We're not continuing until you breathe.”  

That was when I realized that I had been holding my breath for who knows how long. I breathed in for three seconds and exhaled for three more. As I did the same process again, he pressed his lips to my jaw, causing me to falter in distraction. 

After my third attempt to catch my breath, his lips returned to mine, hungrier than before. This time when his tongue pressed to my lips, I opened them with a sigh, letting him lick his way in. He tasted… surprisingly normal. Just the remains of that tea we had drunk. It sent a wave of heat down from my chest to the apex of my thighs.  

I combed my fingers through his wild hair, surprised at how luxurious it felt despite the tangles. It felt like I was making out with a regular person until my hand crept up and brushed against an antler. He groaned into my mouth, running a steadying hand up my spine below the jacket. He didn't pull away, instead muttering into my lips, “Take… Off.” 

It was easy to slip out of Nick's denim jacket. The cool air brushed along my bare arms, causing goosebumps to break out along my skin, until Noah wrapped his arms back around me. We didn't even part as I dropped the jacket somewhere off to the side. 

I felt his fingers run against the hem of my shirt, brushing against the skin of my stomach. I detached with a gasp, and Noah began to pull it upwards, but he was unable to.

The blanket of reality was settling over me, like a slap to the face. I didn't belong here. This place was too ancient, too sacred. And here I was, desecrating it with my human presence; desecrating it by attempting to fuck my partner's demigod best friend. 

“Taylor.”

The voice of said demigod pulled me back from the edge of an anxiety attack. Noah stared at me with concern. He cupped the side of my face, his long fingers nearly reaching the back of my head. 

“Don't think about what's going on outside of here,” he whispered, words hovering in the almost nonexistent space between us. “Stay here with me.”  

His tenderness with me was almost unsettling, but I still nodded. He licked his way back into my mouth, and I gave in to the warmth and melted into his arms. This time it was easier for him to pull my shirt off. 

I found myself reaching up and wrapping a hand around one of his antlers. The texture was as rough as I had expected it to be, like the bark of a tree. What I didn't expect was it to be so warm, almost like the rest of him. I tried to use my grip on it to pull myself up; at least put us on equal playing ground. 

He moved his hands down to my hips, pressing his fingers into the flesh behind them, and he pushed me down across his lap. I gasped as I felt the hardness beneath his jeans. Before I could try to pull myself up, he was pushing me back until my bare back was pressed into the soft blanket. 

He crouched over me and looked me up and down, like a predator that had just caught its prey. “Look at you,” Noah muttered, more to himself. He lightly dragged a finger down my body, from my collarbone to my belly button. I unconsciously squirmed, almost missing what he said next. “I knew I should've asked Nick for a turn before this.”

“What–” I tried to speak, but he silenced me with his lips pressing to mine once more. Heat simmered in my veins, turning molten and flowing down though my body. 

He pulled away and kissed my chin, then under my jaw, and then my throat. He trailed his kisses down until he got to my collarbone where I felt a quick sting. I hissed at the sensation until he sucked at the mark.

“Wanna mark you,” he muttered into my skin.  “Wanna make everyone know you belong to the Watcher of the Woods.”  

A needy sound left my throat, and I felt him smile against my skin. "Mmm, I bet you'd like that, huh?” he asked. He trailed downwards, sucking multiple blooms in his wake. He paused at one of my nipples, taking it between his lips and swirling his tongue around it. 

I mewled at the sensation, arching into his chest when he sucked. “N-Noah.” At the uttering of his name, he released my chest with a small pop. He looked up at me through his lashes as he trailed light nips down my stomach. 

Noah hooked his fingers into the waistband of my jeans and tugged them down. His large hands stroked briefly down my legs, one running over my tattoo-covered scar. He brought his hands back up and this time took my underwear down with him.  

He sat back and looked over me, tilting his head. I shifted, prepping myself up on my elbows. “What?” I asked, heat rising to my face. The scrutiny in his eyes was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. 

“Gimme a second. It's… been awhile,” he said.

His hand trailed up the front of my left leg until he wrapped his fingers around the back of my knee. Lifting my leg up, he tenderly placed a kiss on my ankle. He then trailed his mouth slowly up my leg, his kisses getting wetter the higher they went. I felt my heart rate increase the closer he got to where I wanted him.  

When he reached the crease of my thigh, he moved to kiss my navel, earning a choked sound from me. As he trailed his kisses down the other leg, I tried wiggling my hips to move him. Instead, his hands roughly grabbed my hips and held them down. 

"Relax, lil rabbit. Lemme have my fun,” he said. 

“For someone who claims that it’s ‘been a while’,” I tried to say calmly, “you sure do seem to enjoy–” 

My complaint was cut off when his lips pressed to the bundle of nerves between my thighs. My words choked off and increased in pitch when he moved one of his hands from my hip to my thigh, pulling it outward as he flattened his tongue against the bud.  

“Fuck, fucking fu–” once again my words changed to a moan when he lightly sucked my clit in between his lips to tease at it with his tongue, a move that felt like it had to be illegal in the state of Virginia. Jesus fucking Christ, how did he know how to move his tongue like that– 

I felt the heat in my body intensify until a sheen of sweat coated my skin. I could barely think how and why he had me so close so fast just with his tongue alone.  Another swipe and my fingers curled into the blanket with a white-knuckle grip.  

When he teased my hole with the tip of his tongue, I knew I was gone. “Noah, Noah, Noah shit shit I'm gonna–!” A pulse rippled through my body, and my hips jerked but got nowhere thanks to his grip. He gently licked me as I rode it out, tapering my climax until he slowly pulled away to leave sticky open-mouth kisses to my inner thighs. My thighs twitched with every kiss. 

What the fuck.  

“Illegal in the state of Virginia, huh?” His voice broke through my blissful haze as I tried to recover from the earth-shattering orgasm.  

“Shut up,” I said between labored breaths. I lifted a trembling hand and swatted him on the back of his head. "Don't read my mind." I flopped back down onto the ground, boneless and satiated.

Or… maybe not. 

The ache between my thighs was still present; the warmth from earlier still settled in my gut. It was like my body wasn't satisfied yet. I wanted - no, needed more from Noah. 

He must’ve also been unsatisfied, as I felt his lips trail back up my thighs. I didn't give it a second thought at first until I flinched from his tongue lapping at my entrance. “Noah, what're you–”  

He dove right back in, ungodly sounds coming from him. I gasped out “No-ah, waiiit.” I moaned loudly as his tongue pushed further in. My fingers dug back into their place into the blanket until Noah pried one of them out and maneuvered it to the top of his head. 

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I felt a pang as muscle memory took over and my fingers wove through his hair. Nick liked it when I pulled his hair when he ate me out.  

I let Noah's hair slip through my fingers, wrapped my hand around one of his antlers instead. I pulled on it slightly, earning a moan from him. The vibrations from it caused me to shudder violently. 

I looked down at him at the same time he opened his eyes and stared up at me. All I could see in them was the candle’s flicker. I watched him move his hand from my thigh to my center as his mouth focused solely on my clit. He slid a finger into my entrance, causing my neck to give out and my head to fall back as a wave of pleasure rose over me.  

FUCK, YOU TASTE SO FUCKING GOOD.  

The sound of his voice in my head startled me. That's when I realized he had slid in a second finger at the same time he curled them up in tandem with sucking on my clit. My toes curled, the heat in my core flamed higher and higher.

“Noah, I'm gonna–”  

DO IT.  

“Noah, oh god–” 

NO, IT'S JUST ME.  

With a few more curls of his fingers, he pulled my orgasm free. My thighs shook and clenched as the pleasure crashed down on me, and he continued to lick me through my aftershocks as if he didn't want to miss a single to drop. I tugged on his antlers to pull him away, and he finally parted with a whiny huff.

I fell back to the ground, dizzy and panting as I tried to catch my breath. I stared up at the canopy of leaves blocking the night sky. The shadows created by the candle flames worsened my dizziness, and I shut my eyes. I could just barely hear Noah sitting up, as if he was miles away. He had said something, but I couldn't focus on him.  

HEY. YOU OKAY?  

His voice in my head helped bring me back to earth. I opened my eyes to see him hovering over me, his body slotted in between my legs. It might’ve been just me, but the light flickering over his face made him seem otherworldly; the shadows messing with my eyes seemed to make his antlers twist and turn, seemingly growing. 

“Yeah… yeah, I’m good…” I said, taking in deep breaths. 

The corner of his mouth lifted in his signature smirk, and he quickly vanished from view. 

I closed my eyes as I heard him rustling around, but it wasn't long before I felt Noah's presence again. “Don't go falling asleep on me now,” he said out loud. His voice sounded rougher. I opened my eyes again. 

Strands of his hair framing his face were stuck to his cheeks. I stroked my fingers along the skin, pushing back some of the hair behind his ear. The gesture was soft, shocking me a little, as well as him by the look on his face. He shifted and the hair fell back down into his face.

I felt his skin press to mine, and my body tensed up as he began to wrap my legs around his hips. He leaned down, kissing me passionately, and my worries melted away until there was only the carnal urge to have him inside me. I widened my legs a little bit.

I tried to pull away to ask him to hurry up, but he beat me to it.  

PLEASE… LET ME... FUCK, I NEED YOU SO MUCH.  

He sounded so desperate. I'd never seen this side of him before, so needy and vulnerable. Like the demigod persona had peeled back and I was witnessing the human man beyond the glass.

“Yes… Noah, please,” I muttered.

He took himself in hand and lined himself up, and the feeling of the head of his cock pushing into me made me gasp. He was gentle, working inside of me slowly as if he didn't want to break me. Our eyes met, and I could watch his reactions. I could see his patience slowly crumbling with every keen sigh that left my body.

When he was fully inside me, hips pressed to mine, he paused to let out a long breath he had been holding. He rested his forehead on mine, his antlers scraping beside my head. His eyes squeezed shut, and he was seemingly frozen.

"Noah?" I whispered to him. He made a noise that almost sounded pained, slightly shaking his head. His hair fell over us, obscuring the forest from view. It felt like we were the only ones out here.

"Noah," I said a little bit more firmly.  

I… I CAN'T. 

“What do you mean–” Speaking out loud seemed to be blasphemous in this space. What do you mean, you can’t?  

YOU FEEL SO GOOD I DON'T THINK I CAN KEEP CONTROL OVER MYSELF IF I–

Noah... I lifted my hand up to cup his cheek. His eyelids fluttered open, and even in the darkness, I could see that they were no longer his dark brown. They seemed to glow with a soft green light, like his tattoos earlier. Let go.  

At those words, Noah looked at me as if I was hand delivered by the Devil himself. He then pulled out halfway, only to push back in. He was still deliberately holding back. As he moved, I could feel the growl coming from his chest rather than hear it. Every push seemed to anchor me into the ground. 

Noah buried his face into my neck, alternating between kissing and biting the skin as he whimpered with each drag in and out. I gripped onto his shoulders, trying to find purchase with every thrust. I'm sure I was leaving scratch marks, but he didn’t seem to mind.

It was after a rough thrust that had me crying out that I felt something tickle my nose. I brushed it away, thinking it was his hair. When it happened again, I opened my eyes to see that it was small white flower buds that were brushing my face. His antlers were sprouting flowers. 

I laughed out loud at the realization, causing Noah to pause. He pulled away, confused at first, but then he saw what I was laughing about. He grinned and violently shook his head, causing the tiny flowers to rain down on me, and my laughs turned to joyous shrieks.

“Come on, Noah,” I said breathlessly. “I said let go. I can take it.”

His demeanor shifted suddenly, and he looked down at me with his eerily glowing eyes.

NOT ENOUGH, HUH? 

Noah's hands slid down to my waist and he pulled me up off the ground. I yelped as he balanced back and propped me on his hips, roughly thrusting back into me. I cried out as he kept up that pace, holding me up with just his arms. “Noah, I'm gonna–!”

YOU'RE NOT GONNA FALL, I GOT YOU.

He finally sounded wrecked in my head, and his actual voice was reduced to swearing and choked sounds. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into the crook of his shoulder to muffle the sounds I made as he bounced me up and down on his cock. 

COME ON, I WANNA HEAR THOSE PRETTY LITTLE SOUNDS. 

I pulled away then, and as he opened his mouth, I cupped his face in the palms of my hands to pull him in to kiss him. He pried my lips open with his own as he thrusted upward, hitting a spot in me that had me biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. The taste was sweet and metallic, and I'm sure he could taste it as well as our tongues met. A hand left my lower back to curl into the tangled mess of my hair, pressing me closer to him. 

I clenched around him and he groaned.  

FUCKING HELL, LITTLE RABBIT, YOU FEEL SO GOOD. 

The snap of his hips was falling out of rhythm; he was getting close.  

YEAH, SO CLOSE… SO CLOSE. TOUCH YOURSELF… FOR ME, PLEASE…  

My hand left his back, sliding down his tattooed chest to slip in between our bodies. It was awkward going, and I accidently brushed his nipple with my little finger which made him jump. The movement hit something in me, and I almost screamed.  

My fingers finally made the rest of the way down, dipping between my thighs to circle my swollen clit. I twitched and clenched at the same time he thrusted and hit that spot inside of me again. My third climax of the night hit me like a lightning bolt, burning me from the inside out. 

I cried out, squeezing my eyes shut until I fell limp into his arms. Noah snapped his hips up one, two, three more times before I felt him spill into me, a loud gasp leaving him. 

I clung onto him with what little strength I had left, trembling as I tried to collect my thoughts and my breath. I could feel our mixed arousal dripping out of me, but neither of us seemed to care at the moment. I groggily opened my eyes, realizing how dark it was. The candles had been blown out somehow, half-melted as if we’d been at it for hours and hours.  

Noah shifted a little bit, slipping out of me despite my small whimper of complaint. He laid me down on the ground, straightening the blanket around me. I closed my eyes, dizzy once again.  

I could hear him rustling around again. I might’ve passed out for a little bit, because it was with a jolt I felt something wet between my legs. When I opened my eyes, I saw him cleaning me with some wet cloth. It was too dark to tell. 

Exhaustion washed over me, and I weakly reached out for Noah. He paused but eventually took my hand and surrendered himself to lay beside me. I curled into his warmth as he pulled the blanket over to cover us both. I snuck my arm around the wide mass of his torso, smoothing my fingers over the scratches I had left. Instead of the sweat-slick softness of skin, I realized that the areas around the marks had turned into the texture of tree bark.  

I let myself soak in the afterglow of the moment, knowing full well that in the morning I would be delivered back to Nick, and everything would go back to normal.

Except, with a pang, a tiny part of me knew that nothing would go back to normal. Not after this. 

A chill skittered down my spine, but not from the cold though. I shuddered as that realization hit me like a truck, but when Noah brushed a hand over my hair and made an inquiring noise, I shoved the thought to the back of my mind and kept still.  

For now, everything was alright. For now, everything would be okay.

tysm for reading! If you enjoyed this, please reblog to share the word of the Revered Father. Next chapter coming soon.

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[treacheryinblue]

「 ON DISPLAY 」 noah sebastian ⨯ f!reader

▷ chapter one

noah is your neighbor and your new favorite view thanks to his lack of curtains. you're pretty sure he prefers it this way. but the man you've created in your imagination is nothing like reality and you soon find yourself falling prey to a past lifestyle you had been desperately on the run from. trigger warnings : language, eventual smut, violence, mention/flashbacks of abuse, alcohol and drug use, sexual harassment/assault (nongraphic). word count : 6.2k comment to be added to the tag list for future chapters!

masterlist

“Goddamn. This apartment just got so much better.”

Your mouth fell agape after you followed your best friend’s gaze until you were both staring across to the window opposite of yours. With only a narrow walkway separating the two apartment buildings, it gave you a perfect view into the curtainless home. 

A man stood in the living room, shirtless, his torso of tattoos on display for you to gawk at. Your eyes trailed the bits of bare skin slowly, pausing just where his black athletic shorts sat low on his hips. He was doing some stretches that you immediately recognized as yoga poses. Not your workout of choice but who were you to judge when your breakfast that morning had been a stale bag of Doritos? 

“Fuck…I didn't know yoga could be so hot.” 

Both you and Melinda - Mel - took synchronized steps closer before kneeling onto your couch, elbows resting on the back ledge for comfort. 

“Should we be watching him like this? I mean…doesn't it make us kinda creepy?”

Mel shrugged, her palms shifting to cradle her chin as she stared adoringly at your way too hot neighbor. “Nah, it's fine. It would only be creepy if he was watching you work out.”

“Sounds a little hypocritical.” 

“He's the one half naked in front of an open window!” She motioned dramatically to the lack of coverings on the floor to ceiling windows of his apartment. “He's asking to be watched.” 

With a roll of your eyes you could only laugh, head shaking at your friend. You weren't going to touch on that specific topic with her because Mel could be rather sensitive at times. The last thing you needed after enduring the stress of moving was to have a petty argument break out. 

“Shit, I gotta go. I'd love to sit and watch this absolutely stunning show all day, but Madam Roslyn needs her brat’s dry cleaning.”

Your nose scrunched at the mention of Mel's boss. She used the term ‘Madam’ in mockery towards the horrid woman, although that's how Roslyn preferred to be addressed. She clearly didn't view it as laughable as the rest of the city did when referring to a millionaire with two ridiculously evil twins. 

“Tell Satan and Lucifer ‘hi’ for me.” 

“You do know that's pretty redundant, right?”

“Yeah, but I don't care. It gets my point across.” You waved her off with a motion of your hand before bringing the same hand to your lips to blow a kiss in her direction. 

“Bye, bitch! Let me know if you go fuck your neighbor!” 

The request didn't even warrant a response because of how unlikely that scenario actually was. Mel knew this too. She had begged you on many occasions to go out and 'stretch your legs' again aka spread them for whatever guy looked your way at a bar, and each time you did exactly the opposite. That wasn't a mistake you were going to make again. Too many scars still lingered from last time – physical and mental. 

After Mel securely closed your front door you allowed your attention to shift back out the window. Although this time when you looked out a pair of eyes were staring back at you. His hands were on his hips, his breathing slightly labored, both of you holding the other's gaze for a beat too long. Your eyes widened and you froze as you were caught in the act, but the guy only did what you could assume was a laugh from so far away, his hand then lifting in a slight wave. 

You dropped down to your couch suddenly so you were no longer visible. Your heart hammering away violently within your chest. Dammit. How fucking awkward. 

X X X 

Days were long and the nights even longer. You had managed to pick up a couple of jobs to help ease the financial burden of moving despite the hefty amount of cash stashed away beneath a pried up floorboard in your closet. It wasn't the greatest hiding place but you didn't want to risk such a large sum of money randomly going into your bank account. You feared it would trigger an alert of sorts to those you were better off without. The feeling of having to hide was exhausting and you wished more than anything that things didn't have to be this way. 

If only you had been smarter. Less naive. Not so gullible. 

You yawned as you kicked your shoes off after a tiring day of being a personal errand girl for an old man that simply went by Red. Mel had helped you get the job through her connections with Madam Roslyn and the man reminded you of your grandfather when he had been alive and well. It was an opportunity you hadn't been able to pass up. The pay was decent and he was kind enough to give you the main holidays and most weekends off. What more could you ask for in the bustling city? 

Unfortunately, his generous pay still wasn't enough to keep you afloat and comfortable in your new life. Never would you go back to skipping meals or clinging to someone because of the way they ‘took care’ of you. You were determined to do it on your own. 

“Shauna said you can get a job with her!” 

There was a fury of noise in the background of wherever Mel was, leading you to believe she had agreed to stay later with Madam Roslyn’s little terrors. Thank god you had gotten a better deal with Red’s assistant gig. Mouthy children were not your forte. 

“The Shauna who works at that one club? The one with black velvet walls?” 

“Wait…how big are your tits?” 

You paused from tugging your shirt off to look at the phone as if your best friend could see your expression from across the city. Your unamused face was from both her knack of ignoring your questions and also asking some ridiculous ones of her own. 

“Okay, whatever, doesn't matter. You're hot and have a nice ass.” Mel quickly covered as if her question hadn't caused hundreds of others to arise. 

“What the hell kind of job is this? But I can't leave Red anyway, not after he talked to me all day today about how his grandkids never visit anymore. Shit is depressing.” You scurried around your room while changing into your comfortable attire for the evening. Oversized tee, pajama shorts, and fuzzy socks. It didn't matter what time of the year it was because your feet were always freezing. 

“That's the beauty of it!” Mel squealed in delight from the other end of the call. “It's a nighttime gig. I think she said she goes in around eight and gets off at two –”

“In the morning?!” 

“I know you aren't worried about getting your beauty rest. I've seen you party all night and rally for work with fifteen minutes of sleep on the bus.” 

Okay, she had you there. You were the queen of functioning with little to no sleep. It was both a blessing and a curse. 

“Maybe. I guess. I'll have to see what kind of availability I'd be able to give.” 

With one hand carrying your phone and the other clutching a box of crackers, a pack of cheese tucked into your elbow, you came to an abrupt halt in front of your couch. Right across the currently empty sidewalk was your hot neighbor…naked…with a girl pressed against the glass. Her back was to you and her legs wrapped securely around his hips, that of which were currently ricocheting between her thighs at a rapid pace. Your eyes widened, the words you had been about to speak to Mel dying on your tongue to leave nothing but the sound of her trying to grab your attention. 

“Hello? Helloooo?” 

“He's fucking a girl right now.”

“What? Who? Oh my god! Hot neighbor?!” 

You nodded, and even though Mel couldn't see you she still erupted in excitement as if she was standing right beside you and witnessing the act as well. 

“What does she look like? Is she hot too? I bet he bags all the tattooed baddies.” 

“All I can see is the back of her head and her ass, Mel. I don't know.” 

The phone in your hand was set down after you switched it to speaker, your “girl dinner” also dropping to the couch to be tended to in a few. You were frantically trying to close your curtains to give him some privacy whether he wanted it or not, but your sudden movements must've somehow garnered his attention. 

Just as you were about to fully close your curtains his head tilted in your direction, your eyes meeting again just as they had a few days prior, but this time over the unaware girl’s shoulder. And just like then, you froze. His thrusts slowed to a pace that you just knew had to be agonizingly torturous, though you could tell by the rippling of the girl's ass that he was still being rather rough. A faint smirk tugged at his lips…or what you assumed was a smirk due to the distance between your windows. No, you were pretty sure he was smirking at you. Had he even been waiting for you to appear and see the show? 

Okay, so hot neighbor was smug as hell. You couldn't say you were surprised by that. Just the eye contact you two held was enough to drive a warmth through the entirety of your body, more specifically right between your thighs. A chill even radiated down your spine despite your flushed skin and you briefly found yourself wondering what it was like to currently be that girl pressed against his window. 

“Flash your tits! Maybe he’ll invite you over to join!” 

“Melinda!” You hissed, the screech of the curtains finally coming together to block out the scene interrupting your scolding. 

“Fuck. This guy has got to get some blinds or something.” 

Later that night while in bed, your hand had drifted down between your thighs to help ease the tension that had grown rather quickly all thanks to that damned smirk. 

X X X 

There were times when you were alone that you let your thoughts get the best of you. Your overthinking had become less and less controlled until it ate you up, leaving your cuticles in tatters and the constant sound of your foot tapping against the hardwood floor had become the soundtrack of your life. You were terrified constantly. There were so many things that could go wrong that you were truly just waiting for the pin to drop because you knew it would eventually, it was just a matter of when. 

When would you be found? When would you make the single dumb decision that would change your life forever? When would you end up six feet under at the hands of the people you were once involved with? 

Living with these thoughts day to day wasn't healthy. You knew this. You didn't need to pay some $500 an hour specialist to recite the obvious, nor did you need to sit around in a circle and reveal your deepest thoughts to strangers in a support group that only had fake sympathies to offer. This was something you could handle on your own, or so you liked to constantly remind yourself. If your past had told you anything, it was that you couldn't rely on anyone but yourself anyway. 

You took in a deep breath, held it, and then slowly exhaled while counting backwards from ten. The trick didn't work as well as it used to but you were still hopeful with every attempt. It was your first day off in over a week and while your body desperately needed the rest, your brain was still going a million miles a minute. There was a bottle of overpriced wine you had yet to touch that was living in your fridge, that of which could easily take the worries away, but you resisted. That was only a temporary fix. 

As you shifted your position on the couch for the first time in two hours, you couldn't stop your gaze from drifting out the window. Most of the time he was never there, obviously off living his life to the fullest and unconcerned about you, the strange woman who creepily watched him. But much to your surprise, there he sat. He appeared to be alone from the glimpse you took, his long body spread out on his couch in a mimic of your own. Maybe he felt your eyes on him or maybe he had been curious about you as well because after only a couple of seconds his head lifted and angled perfectly for where you sat.

Like every time before, he didn't shy away from your stare. You decided to follow his lead and not look elsewhere either. You could even feel the faintest smile appearing over your lips, a friendly acknowledgement that you saw him and also saw him seeing you.

Hot neighbor’s eyebrows pulled together slightly and his head nodded upwards, a curious expression working over his features. You figured he wanted to know what you were doing, so you promptly lifted your book so he could see the spread pages. It wasn't like he had to know that you hadn't flipped a single one in a good hour. He nodded, his face now reading as impressed. A brief moment later and he was exchanging the same information with you, allowing you to see the notebook and pen held within his hands. A writer? How interesting. 

It was amazing what could be communicated without words. 

Long, drawn out seconds later, you both returned to your own lives, but you still occasionally found yourself glancing to his curtainless window. 

X X X 

“H-O-T-T-O-G-O! You can take me hot to go!” You loudly sang with the group crowded into your apartment, all of you tossing your hands up along with the lyrics in the way Chappell Roan had bestowed upon you. 

Surely you would get a fine for being so loud but you and Captain Morgan couldn't care less. At that moment you were having the time of your life for the first time in months and that's what was important to you. Not work. Not the dark cloud looming over your head. Nothing but having the best fucking time before reality set in. 

Mel danced up against you as you ground your hips into Dean, one of your other friends who always had the best manicures and didn't know what a “full length shirt” was. If he wasn't showing off his abs then what was the point of life? All his words. 

“Order up, I'm hot to goooo!” You tossed your hair around and dragged your hands along the length of your body, paying special attention to your chest and hips - both of which were accentuated in the dress you wore. 

How had you ever thought throwing a “house warming” party would be a bad idea? God, sober you was such a fucking drag sometimes. Parties were fun as hell and you made a silent pledge to yourself right then to have them more. 

As your fingertips dragged along your thighs, hiking the hem of your dress up a bit in the process, you felt your body becoming abnormally warm. Alcohol always made you flush but this was a different sensation, one that had only recently become known to you. You wanted to look around your apartment because you would've sworn he was in the same room as you, simply watching you dance and have a good time. No way could his stare be this powerful from all the way in the apartment building opposite of yours. 

But alas, you were wrong. 

Your glitter dusted eyes drifted to your window where twinkling lights had been hung. You could just barely make out the image of his silhouette across the walkway, one hand in his pocket as the other arm rested against the glass above his head. Thanks to his eyes acting like actual fingers, you didn't need to question the possibility of what he was focused on. You could feel every trace along your heated skin.

Although he was a distance away, you were imagining that he was right across the room. Watching you. Devouring you. Dean wandered off to join a duo he excitedly greeted as they walked in, leaving the front of your body on full display for hot neighbor. Your hips continued to sway while your hands trailed along your body, one paying special attention to your breasts as the other slowly lowered back down to where the short hem of your dress rested at the top of your thighs. You imagined him licking his lips and raising his eyebrows for you to continue, silently challenging you to put on more of a show for him. 

It didn’t matter how many people were in your apartment and could see you because everything you did in that moment was for him and only him. 

Ever so slowly your fingers dipped beneath your dress to trace along your inner thigh to tease him, and also yourself in the process. You didn't think it was possible for his gaze to become even heavier but you swore it drank you in and swallowed you up. The hand on your chest pushed up against your breast and your fingers dug into the ample flesh, threatening to tug the fabric down and bare yourself to him. Every inch of your body was aflame, your nerves screaming to be touched by his heavily tattooed hands you had daydreamed of on more than one occasion. 

You had no idea what it was about this man that had you in such a chokehold. Everything about him was unknown to you, yet you still craved him. Maybe even more than you had ever desired anyone before. 

The sound of your name being repeated pulled you from your trance until you had no choice but to rip your gaze from his. The music blasting through your apartment came flooding back in and you were suddenly aware of where you were again, as well as all the people surrounding you. Thankfully it didn't seem as if anyone had noticed your little bout of hypnosis. 

“We need towels!” Mel was calling to you from over the music, motioning towards the kitchen where an obnoxiously drunk guy appeared to have knocked over an entire bottle of Tito’s Vodka. The liquor was puddled on the floor, shards of glass glistening in the liquid it previously housed. 

“Son of a bitch,” you grumbled before yelling back to Mel an explanation of where she could find some spare towels. Maybe you should've gone to clean it up yourself since you were the host but you were eager to get back to the eye fucking you had been participating in with hot neighbor. Unfortunately, when you looked back through the large windows, his apartment was empty. 

X X X

“I feel so ridiculous,” you murmured to yourself beneath your breath, following the statement up with a heavy sigh. For the tenth time you tugged at the tiny black skirt you had been provided to wear, the hem riding up your ass and cupping your cheeks in a suggestive yet desirable way. Maybe Mel had been right when she said you had a nice ass. Too bad it had taken your physical discomfort for you to realize this. 

A blonde woman that appeared to be a few years older than you glanced your way with a snarky grimace, her eyes then rolling after taking you in. You tried not to pay any attention to her as you adjusted the straps of your top, as well as your breasts that were popping out. You had been told to wear your best bra, which you had, and now you could see why the request had been made. The uniforms at Nocturnal left very little to the imagination, but at least you were still wearing clothes. 

You couldn't say as much for the red head that was sauntering around the dressing room with her tits out without a care in the world. Damn. How were you supposed to get that amount of confidence? It wasn't that you were insecure, but being in the sort of relationship you had previously had definitely done a number on your mental state. You had been conditioned to believe that showing your body for anyone but him was one of the biggest sins. Amongst many other things but you had been trying very hard not to allow your thoughts to drift to those dark places. Something as simple as a v-neck t-shirt had earned you a reprimand on more than one occasion. 

“You're the new girl, yeah?” The attitude-filled blonde questioned while swiping eyeliner along her lower lash line. You glanced at her through the mirror you stood before, responding with only a slight nod. Her eyes looked you up and down again, a throaty laugh following her heavy gaze. “They're just going to looove you. New meat.” 

“Shut the hell up, Charlotte. Why do you always have to be so catty with the new ones?”

Shauna came strutting into the room at just the right time to prevent you from making an enemy on day one. She stood at your side, one hand on her curvy hip, the other resting upon your bare shoulder. The snarky blonde that you now knew as Charlotte simply rolled her eyes in the same exaggerated fashion again, a manicured hand waving in dismissal to Shauna. 

“Don't mind her,” Shauna leaned in a bit closer to you as if she was telling a secret but the volume of her voice never lowered. “She's just bitter because she doesn't get good tips anymore after her botched boob job. She's scared you'll take all of King’s attention. Not like she ever really had it to begin with.” 

You couldn't stop yourself from laughing despite your attempt to stifle it. Charlotte shot a glare at you, her fist tightening around her curling iron that she was using to touch up portions of her hair. 

“Oh, please. She's clearly not experienced enough to draw his eye. I'm not worried.” 

“Who's King?” You looked back and forth between the two women, your confusion beyond evident. Charlotte again chuckled, her tongue swiping over her plump lips while giving Shauna a look that read as 'seriously?’. 

“As I said, I'm not worried.” 

“So grouchy,” Shauna whispered while giving your shoulder a squeeze. You couldn't help but to notice how they both ignored your question. “But you look amazing! I knew you'd fit right in around here.” 

“What did she mean by all of that? Who's going to love me?” As far you knew, this was supposed to be a simple waitressing gig at a club. Sure, there was a room towards the back that housed the nude dancers but you had made it very clear that wasn't going to be your area. 

Shauna smiled kindly at you, soft laughter emitting from her. “She probably just meant the regulars,” she explained as she took your hand and began to lead you out of the dressing room. “They're the best tippers and are always on a first name basis with the girls. A few can get a little handsy but they know the servers are off limits. They have to go to the back rooms for that.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in further confusion but you didn't dare voice your questions. While you weren't naive when it came to this sort of “scene”, you also weren't well versed in it. All you really knew was what you had seen from movies and read in your books, as well as the conversations you'd eavesdrop in on between your ex and his pals. Never did you think you'd actually be a part of any of it. 

Shauna dragged you along to the bar off to the side. The music was loud enough that you couldn't even hear yourself think, so you had no idea how you were supposed to take drink orders in this place. Bodies were already piled in, all of them dancing and swaying to the music, tabletops filled with those enjoying the scenery and atmosphere. Nothing too out of the ordinary so far in comparison to waitressing jobs in the past. Those had been at family friendly restaurants, but how different could it really be? 

“I'm going to start you off with a couple of lower tables, okay? Only until you get the hang of it.” Shauna had her mouth close to your ear as she explained things, aiding in your inability to read her lips well enough. 

“I'm just taking drink orders, right? It can't be too bad.” You shrugged, a notepad and pen now in your grasp that she had passed your way. Shauna side eyed you with a smile and a slow nod of her head, silently communicating that she wasn't too sure about that. 

“Only thing you really need to know is that you've gotta smile and be friendly! These guys aren't dropping hundreds of dollars to be served by a witch with a stick up her ass. No matter how nice it may be. They like attention and thinking they have a shot with you, even though they have zero chances.” Shauna’s laughter continued as her eyes traveled along what appeared to be business men along the opposite side where the more private booths were located. “But like you said, it can't be too bad, yeah?” 

Oh, how wrong you had been. Only a couple of hours in and your feet were already aching, your black top damp and chest sticky from the drink you had recently spilled on yourself, and your frustrations were rising by the minute. It didn't help that Charlotte had decided to steal one of your main tables, leaving you with only one, as well as a couple of small bar tops. Despite your overwhelmed demeanor, the club never stopped filling. More and more bodies pressed together and you swore the music had also been cranked higher, the lights dimmed red to further set the vibe. Fuck, you were going to crash and burn on only your first night. 

“Hey!” A whistle garnered your attention, your head quickly turning to the bartender whose name you still hadn't caught. “Can you take these to VIP?” He slid a couple of glasses your way and then began to take the order of another patron before you could even reply. Your mouth opened and closed in an attempt to explain that you weren't serving VIP that night. You didn't even know where the hell VIP was. 

“Up those steps and to the right!” The same red head from the dressing rooms earlier sauntered by you while carrying a tray of empty glasses that she quickly disposed of and replaced with fresh drinks. She was no longer naked, instead adorned in the same uniform as every other waitress. 

“I…Shauna told me to stay on the lower levels,” you tossed back nervously, shaking your head. 

“Look, we're swamped! Just take the drinks up and then I'll take VIP again after I drop these off. Easy!” Then, just like the bartender, the red head was disappearing before you could respond. 

You looked at the drinks, the winding stairs that lead to the VIP level, and then back to the drinks. The glasses were already starting to sweat so you knew you had a narrow window before they became too watered down. With a deep breath, you snatched up the drinks and strutted towards the steps with as much confidence as your exhausted limbs could muster. Which, honestly, wasn't much. 

One step was cautiously taken after another, the music fading the higher you ascended. You sighed in relief when your ability to hear just yourself again resurfaced and you suddenly realized why VIP was so sought after by all the waitresses. You knew it couldn't be solely because of the tips you were likely to secure. It was also the peace of mind. 

VIP was darker than the lower levels because the lights shifting through the space never angled correctly to douse it in much color. You figured this was done with a purpose. The back perimeter was lined with black leather sectionals, glass tables centered in front of each one, and there was a railing that allowed patrons to overlook the lower level. Since this wasn't a very party-heavy area, you couldn't help but to assume it's where business took place. You had been in spaces like this many times before finding your way to this city. The thought made you uneasy because “business” sometimes meant paperwork and meetings, but it could also mean something more violent. 

Three men sat off to the right, two of them smoking cigars while the other fidgeted with something in his hand. A coin, by the looks of it. Silence overtook them when one noticed you, his eyes immediately raking over your body. It felt nothing like it did when hot neighbor did the same. Both were strangers but there was something about this particular unknown man you didn't care for. He was older, which wasn't the problem, it was more so the dead look in his eyes. 

“My sincerest apologies for the delay, gentleman,” you smiled while laying it on thick. 

“Where's Dana?” 

The man to the right spoke up, his disdain towards you quite obvious. You figured Dana was the red head you had spoken to at the bar, or so you were going to safely assume. “She’s briefly tied up with another table. She'll be right back with you. Until then, can I get you anything else?” You forced a smile, the sweetest possible in the moment. 

“Yeah,” the same rude man took a swallow from his drink and then motioned for you to step closer. “Come here. I haven't seen you before. I'd remember.” 

There was no hesitation in your motions as you closed the space between yourself and the man, no matter how uneasy he made you. Nothing had happened to make you believe he was outwardly dangerous, although you could see right through him. You knew he was the type that liked to destroy others. It was written in his eyes and the $20,000 watch hanging from his wrist. 

“What's your name?” 

Shit. Shauna had told you earlier to make up an alias for yourself and you had been too caught up with actually working that you had forgotten. She explained it was for safety but also because it could be fun to play someone else. You didn't tell her you were already doing as much and it wasn't nearly as fun as the club assumed. 

“Genevieve,” you slowly drawled. The name of your late grandmother. Oh how she’d get a kick out of this. 

The man smirked through a cloud of smoke, his lifeless eyes again looking you up and down. “Genevieve. How beautiful.” He was suddenly reaching out for you, his hand grasping your wrist to pull you closer. Keeping a hold of your wrist, he set his drink aside to free the other so he could grope along your hip and down the side of your exposed thigh. You softly gasped in shock but you didn't jerk away like your mind was screaming at you to do. Instead you stood frozen, fear shuddering through your veins. 

“Hasn't the boss and his right hand already warned you about touching the servers?” One of the other men laughed as if you were nothing more than an object for their enjoyment. In their eyes that's exactly what you were. 

Dead Eyes kept his focus on you, his rough fingertips still trailing your thigh. “Fuck the boss and his little bitch boy. What's his name? King? Kid thinks he runs this place.” 

Tears threatened to well in your eyes but you refused to let your fear show. That's what men like these wanted. They craved to feel the power they held over others, but especially women. It made them feel special in their minuscule lives. In reality, it made them weak. 

The man you stood before halted the motion of his hand just as it grazed the back of your thigh and threatened to disappear beneath your already barely-there skirt. His eyes were now looking past you, annoyance showing in his hollow gaze before his hand fell from your body. He dropped your wrist with a force while simultaneously pushing you back an inch. 

“You were already given a warning, Marcus. Two, if I remember correctly.” A new voice greeted your ears, yet you were still too frozen to turn and see who it belonged to. You could feel his eyes, though. It was so familiar. Heavy. “But here you are, still harassing the staff.” 

A figure stepped around you, gently nudging you back a few more steps. He was much taller than you with dark hair, his outfit black on black, at least from what you could tell from behind. There was something about him that commanded the attention of the room and you were more than willing to give it to him. So much that you hadn't even noticed the way he was leaning closer to the man now known as Marcus, his body slightly bent and an extended hand holding something to the repulsive man's neck. A peek to the left and you could just barely see the black splotches of ink that covered his own hand. 

“Why do you insist on touching what doesn't belong to you?” His voice lowered, the words being hissed in a threatening manner. “Don't make me remind you again just who here is the real bitch boy.” 

Marcus murmured something that sounded like an agreement, maybe an apology, which was apparently enough for the man because he stood back to his full height and then closed the knife you hadn't previously realized he was in possession of. As he turned to the side you could see the bright red line of blood that was sliced into Marcus' neck - his punishment. The wound was shallow, definitely not deadly, but you figured it got his point across. 

The man was then facing you and you slowly raised your attention to him. Your breath caught in your throat and recognition flared in your eyes. You were sure the brief shock you saw in his gaze mimicked your own, though his was fleeting and quickly returned back to the hardened glare. 

Hot neighbor. 

“I'll be sure to mention to the boss that we had a talk tonight, gentlemen.” The man spoke to the small group without so much as a glance back to them. His attention was too focused on you, his hand placed on the middle of your back to help guide you around and towards the spiral staircase. You assumed he was going to leave you once you began your descent but he was right on your heels for the entirety of the trek, only pausing once you nearly reached the lower level. 

Lightly grasping your arm, he gave a gentle tug to bring you closer before you could scurry away. “I think a 'thank you’ is in order.” You could hear the smile in his voice, as if this situation was amusing to him. Maybe it was. You knew next to nothing about him so it wasn't as if you could truly gauge his reaction. 

“I didn't need your help,” you fired back. You didn't like to be told what to do by men on a power trip. Not anymore. “I could've handled it myself.”

“Really?” His smile widened and his posture dipped so your eyes could better meet through the darkness. “Because it looked to me like you were a frightened deer caught in the headlights. Very consistent for you.” 

At least he was admitting that he knew who you were without truly saying it. You had given him the same look from your apartment window on multiple occasions now. 

You remained silent, your eyes burrowing into his instead of trailing along his face like you desperately felt the need to. For reasons unknown you wanted to memorize every little detail and carry the memory with you forever. It didn't matter that you knew you should be somewhat afraid of him after the physical threat he placed upon Marcus. The idea of him doing the same to you never even crossed your naive mind. 

When you still didn’t respond, but also refused to back down, he returned to his full towering height over you and dropped his smile. It was like he had pulled a mask over his face to be whoever it was Nocturnal expected. But what did you know? This could be the true version of himself instead of the one you had been witnessing from your window for over a month. 

“Run along, little deer,” he gently spoke, his tone condescending, just before disappearing back up the spiral staircase. 

CHAPTER TWO

[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader

Summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.

Series masterlist

Noah had been texting you all morning, starting with the apologies the moment you woke up and while you were getting ready to go to work.

Noah♡: Fuck

Noah♡: I’m so sorry about last night

His messages came through fast after that, each one more panicked than the last, like he thought you might ignore him entirely or you could never forgive him.

Noah♡: I didn’t mean to fall asleep

Noah♡: I feel like such an ass

Noah♡: Actually, I am

Noah♡: Fuck

Noah♡: Please don’t be mad

He was clearly rattled. You thought he might feel a little guilty about missing dinner but his desperation to make things right surprised you.

Noah usually was the kind of person who could laugh things off and move on. But today, he seemed to be so terribly scared you might be mad at him.

You reassured him right away, telling him that it was fine, that you weren’t upset, but the texts kept coming.

Noah♡: I really wanted to see you

Noah♡: I feel like I screwed this up

Noah♡: I'm so sorry

The more he apologized, the more you started to realize there was something else underneath his words. It wasn’t just about last night, there was a fear there, something deeper. The more he texted, the more you started to piece it together: he wasn’t just scared of messing up the "date", he was scared of losing you.

And you knew that this behavior of his stemmed from the fact that a few years earlier, he had returned home to find it a bit too empty.

Maybe that’s why he was so afraid of screwing things up now: he didn’t want history to repeat itself.

Now, you stood behind the counter of the café, phone buzzing in your hand, trying to figure out how to get him to relax.

You: I’m really not mad

You typed for what felt like the tenth time. But it seemed that, no matter how much you reassured him, he didn’t seem to believe you. He was convinced that this one slip-up would be enough to drive you away. It made your heart ache a little, realizing just how much weight he was putting on this.

You: Everything's fine, I promise. I was just worried something bad happened.

You: I'm glad everything's fine. I'm not mad.

You: What about you come to my place for dinner tonight?

You: Just us and Luna this time.

No new texts appeared on the screen for a moment, then he answered.

Noah♡: Yeah, I'd like that.

Noah♡: We'd like that*

Noah♡: thank you

You: No need to thank me

You: I love you.

The answer this time, came really quickly.

Noah♡: I love you too.

That’s when the bell above the door chimed, and you looked up to see Jolly and Folio stroll in. You smiled, recognizing them immediately as they wandered over, glancing at the menu as if they hadn’t already memorized it.

Jolly caught your eye and grinned. “Hey, thought your favorite costumers would stop by for a caffeine fix,” he said, already pulling out his wallet.

"Hey." Folio waved at you with a small nod in agreement, scanning the pastry case like he hadn’t already tried everything in there.

"Sorry to disappoint you guys, my fave is Noah."

"He is not here now. You can stop lying." Folio laughed.

Soon, Folio and Jolly were sitting at the counter, the two of them quietly sipping your coffees.

Nick glanced at you over the rim of his cup, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You know,” he began, his voice casual, “we’re really glad Noah found you.”

You blinked in surprise, but before you could respond, Jolly chimed in, nodding. “Yeah, man. It’s been great seeing him this way. He’s… different now. Definitely happier.”

You smiled softly, feeling warmth bloom in your chest at the thought. “Really?”

“Definitely,” Folio repeated, leaning back in his chair. “You know, after everything that happened with Luna’s mom, he just sort of… I dont know, he blamed himself. He thought it was his fault she left. You are just doing good to him. He's happy now. He's happy when he's with you.”

Jolly nodded. “He felt like he failed. As a father, as a partner. And now... he's just happy."

You listened, realizing more and more how Noah must have felt when he thought you were mad at him.

Jolly took a slow sip of his coffee before setting the cup down with a thoughtful nod. “It’s been really cool to see. I mean, we’ve known Noah for years, and he’s always been the type to just keep going, no matter what’s happening in his life. But since you came around, it’s like he’s more at ease. You can tell he’s genuinely happy. And I know you are taking things slow and you have known him for like... a year? And he's still getting used to the idea that someone actually loves him and is not gonna leave him again. But he is happier now.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, the thought of Noah feeling that way making your heart lift. “I guess I didn’t realize how much things had changed for him.”

Folio shrugged, his grin widening. “He’s not exactly the type to make a big deal out of it. But we can see it. The way he talks about you, or when he’s just hanging out with you and Luna. The man is just in love."

You nodded, your fingers tracing imaginary drawings on the counter. “I’m glad. I really care about him, and Luna.”

Folio smiled, giving you a knowing look. “We can tell. And honestly, it’s been good for him to have someone who gets that being a good dad is really important to him. You fit into their little universe in a way that just… works.”

Jolly agreed, his tone easy and genuine. “Yeah, it’s like you’re part of the family now. Noah’s happy, Luna’s happy, and, well, we’re happy for him. For both of you.”

You couldn’t help but feel a little lighter at their words, the reassurance settling in. You hadn’t doubted how much Noah cared about you, but hearing from his closest friends made it feel more real, more solid.

“Thanks,” you said quietly, smiling at both of them. “That really means a lot.”

Folio waved it off with a grin. “Hey, no need to thank us. We’re just telling it like it is.”

The conversation shifted after that, naturally flowing into stories about the funny things Luna said recently and the band’s new ideas. The three of you laughed as you served a couple of costumers and they kept sipping their coffees, enjoying the calm of the morning.

After many hours, you finished tidying up the café as the last customer left. It was strange to think it had already been almost three years since the café first opened. Every inch held a memory, from the faint coffee stains on the counter to the tiny plant you’d been struggling to keep alive since day one.

Grace grabbed her bag from behind the counter, giving you a quick, almost begrudging nod. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you replied, locking up as the two of you stepped outside. The crisp late afternoon air hit you, a refreshing change from the café’s warmth.

You both walked toward your cars in the dimly lit parking lot, and as you did, Grace suddenly spoke up. “Three years, huh? Hard to believe.”

You nodded, smiling a little. “I know. Feels like we should celebrate or something, right? Three years is a pretty big deal.”

She glanced over at you, raising an eyebrow. “You really think people will care?”

“Sure, why not?” You shrugged, already imagining a little celebration. “We could do something small but nice. You know, like a free cookie with every order, or free candies, maybe put up some cute decorations to make it festive.”

Grace tilted her head, her mouth curving into a smirk. “I’ll admit, I’ve seen worse ideas. Might actually bring in some new people.”

You laughed softly, not entirely surprised by her pragmatic approach. “Well, I thought it could be nice to show some appreciation for the regulars too. They’re part of why this place has done so well.”

She crossed her arms, considering it. “Alright, free cookies and some decorations. But nothing too cheesy, okay? No bright streamers or those glitter confetti things that get everywhere.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Deal. I was thinking about simple things, maybe a few extra plants or flowers around.”

Grace nodded approvingly. “Sounds reasonable. Let’s go over ideas tomorrow, though, after the morning rush.”

You agreed, feeling happy at the idea of adding a little extra warmth to the café. This place had become a second home, and celebrating that felt right.

As you each unlocked your cars, Grace gave you a rare smile, albeit a small one. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Yeah,” you replied, returning her smile. “See you, Grace.”

With one last wave, you climbed into your car, thinking that before deciding what to do for the café anniversary you wanted to get ready for a perfect dinner with Noah and Luna.

That evening, in the kitchen, you prepped a simple but warm meal, setting the table with a couple of candles to make things feel a bit cozier - and because you always loved candles. You wanted everything to feel comfortable, something that would make Noah happy and put Luna at ease, being her first time at your house.

When you heard the soft knock at the door, you could already imagine Noah on the other side, probably looking a little nervous, one of his hands stuffed in his pockets, the other holding Luna's one, trying not to show just how much he had worried himself into knots all day as you knew he did.

Taking a quick breath, you opened the door to find Noah standing there with Luna next to him. She was clutching her little stuffed bunny, her eyes lighting up the second she saw you.

"Hi!" She waved at you, and you smiled.

“There they are,” you said softly, smiling as you stepped forward.

Noah’s eyes met yours, and he looked almost hesitant, as though he were still unsure if you were really okay with everything that had happened. Before he could say a word, you stepped closer, standing on your tiptoes and wrapping your arms around his neck in a warm, reassuring hug. He held on to you, his relief almost palpable as he relaxed against you. Leaning up, you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

"Hey." He smiled.

“Hey. I know its been only two days but I missed you,” you whispered, pulling back just enough to look at him.

He looked down at you, a small, relieved smile finally spreading across his face. “I missed you too. I’m sorry again, I really—”

You placed a finger over his lips. “Don't be stupid and stop apologizing. Come in.”

You stepped aside, holding the door open as they walked in, Luna looked around with curiosity, and she waved her plushie around as if introducing him to the house too.

After setting her down, Noah glanced around, still looking a little uncertain, but with each second, he seemed to relax more and more. The smell of dinner filled the room, and he raised his brows, sniffing the air with an appreciative grin. “Something smells amazing.”

“I tried my best,” you said, leading them both to the dining table where you’d set everything up with warm dishes and cozy candlelight.

Luna, always observant, tilted her head and pointed a tiny finger at the flickering candles. “Look, daddy, magic lights!”

Noah chuckled, a soft laugh you hadn’t heard in only a couple of days and you realized iu missed more than anything. He leaned down to her level, nodding. “Yeah, they are. Careful though, okay? We don’t want to get too close.”

She nodded, her eyes still on the candle.

The three of you settled at the table, and Noah helped Luna into her little chair beside him. As you began to serve the food, Noah glanced at you, his gaze filled with appreciation and something softer, deeper.

For a while, you just ate, comfortable silence settling between bites, the clinking of cutlery and Luna’s occasional little gasps of excitement over the meal filling the room.

At some point, Luna’s face lit up with excitement as she remembered something important. She turned to you, her eyes wide and sparkling.

“Guess what?” she said, bouncing a little in her chair.

“What?” you replied, grinning at her enthusiasm.

“We’re going to the zoo tomorrow! With everyone from class! Daddy says there’s gonna be giraffes and elephants and…” She paused for dramatic effect, leaning closer, her voice lowering to a whisper. “And unicorns.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, glancing at Noah, who was stifling a smile himself. “Unicorns, huh?”

Luna nodded, her expression serious. “Yes! I’m gonna find them. They’re hiding, but I’ll see them for sure.”

“Well, then, I guess you’ll have to tell us all about it tomorrow,” you said, giving her an encouraging nod.

She nodded eagerly, taking a determined bite of her food, clearly already planning her adventure. Noah reached over, a warm smile on his face as he ruffled her hair gently.

As you all continued to eat, Noah glanced at you, his hand resting on yours. “I was thinking,” he began, giving you a soft smile. “Since I’ll be dropping Luna off early for her big zoo day, maybe I could pick you up and drive you to work? Stay a bit and grab something? If your coworker is not gonna kick me out.”

Your smile widened, warmth filling you as you met his eyes. “That sounds perfect. Thank you. And I'll protect you from Grace, don't worry.”

Noah laughed.

“Daddy always puts his music in the car!” Luna added, rolling her eyes a little.

You stifled a laugh, glancing at Noah with a playful smile. “Oh, I see, someone’s got a bit of an ego, huh?”

Noah chuckled, giving you a mock-offended look. “Hey! I'm just trying to raise her with the right music taste, thank you very much.”

You all laughed together, the table filled with easy warmth and conversation as Luna continued sharing all the animals she’d meet.

Noah caught your eye, his smile still lingering as he shook his head, clearly taken by his daughter’s antics. It was a simple moment, but it made everything feel… right. Like this was exactly where you both were supposed to be.

After dinner, Luna clambered down from her chair and, wandered into the living room, where she promptly set herself up in front of the TV. She leaned back, her little legs crossed as you offered her the remote, and she started pressing buttons until her favorite cartoon appeared. Soon, her laughter and excited chatter filled the room as she became absorbed in her show, completely at home.

You started gathering the dishes, but Noah stood up, gently placing a hand over yours. “Hey, let me help.”

You gave him a soft smile, nodding as the two of you worked together. Once the dishes were done, you both found yourselves in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, a quiet calm settling between you.

He looked down, rubbing the back of his neck with that same, slightly awkward expression he always wore when he was working up to saying something important. “I don’t think I can say it enough, but… thank you. For tonight. And… for not being mad.”

You shook your head, reaching up to brush a few stray locks away from his eyes. “Noah, stop it. For real. You don’t have to thank me. I understand. You are a dad, a singer, a songwriter and a boyfriend. And sometimes you are just tired. I understand. That doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere. You are great at all these things.”

His shoulders relaxed as he let out a soft breath, finally letting the guilt slip away. “I just… I keep thinking that I’ll screw things up somehow. And I know I shouldn’t. But I do.”

“I know,” you replied softly, your fingers tracing light circles on his arm. “But I’m not going to leave over one missed date, okay? You’re stuck with me. And it was not even a date. Nick would have probably kept talking about the first time he went to the coffe shop and I poured a whole cup on him by accident.”

He chuckled, his gaze softening. “Good. Because I don’t want to mess this up. You mean… you mean a lot to me.”

You stepped closer, slipping your arms around his waist as you looked up at him, your face inches from his. “I’m here, Noah. For you and for Luna. I’m not going anywhere.”

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. You could feel his heart beating steadily under your cheek, his warmth seeping into you.

As the two of you stood there, wrapped up in each other, Luna’s cheerful laugh drifted in from the living room, and Noah glanced in her direction, his eyes softening with the quiet pride he felt whenever he looked at her.

He smiled down at you, his voice low and filled with a quiet sincerity. “You know… I like this. The three of us. Like now.”

You squeezed his hand, giving him a gentle smile. “Good. Because I like it too.”

The rest of the night passed in a haze of warmth and laughter. You joined Luna on the couch, letting her explain every plot twist of her cartoon to you with animated hand gestures and gleeful expressions. Noah sat beside you, his hand resting comfortably on your thigh, his thumb gently brushing against it.

Eventually, Luna’s eyelids started to droop, and Noah carefully scooped her up, cradling her against his chest as she mumbled sleepy goodbyes to you. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, murmuring soothing words as she settled into his shoulder with a content sigh.

Before he left, he turned to you, his face illuminated by the dim hallway light. “Even if you said I didn't have to thank you...thank you.” he whispered.

You nodded, pressing one last soft kiss to his lips before he stepped out into the night, Luna sound asleep in his arms.

As you closed the door behind them, you felt a sense of warmth settle deep within you, a sense of home that lingered long after they had gone.

The next morning, you waited by the door until you caught sight of Noah’s car pulling up in front of your place. The second you got in, he leaned over to give you a quick, gentle kiss, his eyes soft and warm, the early sunlight making the messy hair poking out from under the hood of his hoodie look even softer than usual.

"Good morning," he murmured with a smile.

"Morning," you replied, leaning in for one more kiss before he started the drive. You felt completely at ease, like the night before had cemented something new and wonderful between you.

“I wonder if Luna found the unicorns yet” you teased, breaking the comfortable silence in the car.

He let out a soft chuckle, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Oh, definitely. She was up all night practicing her ‘unicorn call’ just in case she needed it today. I think half the house is covered in glitter now.”

“She's dedicated, I’ll give her that,” you laughed.

As Noah pulled into a parking spot near the café, you noticed some activity across the street, where the old bookstore had been vacant for years. A couple of large moving trucks were parked out front, and people were carrying in boxes, furniture, and various pieces of equipment, and you couldn’t help but stare, wondering what might be going in there.

“Look at that,” Noah said, nodding toward the trucks as he put the car in park. “Guess someone finally decided to put that old place to use.”

“Yeah… wonder what it’ll be,” you mused, squinting to try and catch a glimpse of something that would give you a clue.

“Another cafè. To give you competition.” he joked, raising an eyebrow with a grin.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s a pretty big space, maybe it’s a gym or something.”

“Oh, please. This area’s too small for another gym. Maybe… a little art studio? Some kind of gallery, even?”

“Ooh, a gallery would be nice. You could go all broody, stare at abstract paintings, and pretend you totally understand what they mean,” you teased, nudging him.

He laughed, shaking his head. “Or, I could bring you along and make you explain the art to me. I’ll just stand there, nodding like I know what I’m talking about.”

“I’d pay to see that,” you replied, chuckling. “Though, I wouldn’t mind a new bookstore. I always liked the smell of all those old books in there.”

“Now that,” he nodded, “would be amazing. We could take Luna, let her pick out her own books.”

You could both easily imagine it: a cozy bookstore, shelves filled to the ceiling with everything from children’s books to novels. For a moment, you both stood there, imagining it.

Then, he glanced at you, a soft smile lingering on his face. “Whatever it is, I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

With that, the two of you headed into the café. As you stepped inside, you flicked on the lights, taking in the familiar warmth of the place.

You moved behind the counter as you started getting things ready for the morning crowd. “So… I was thinking about an idea for the café’s anniversary. It’s been three years already, and Grace kind of agreed to a little celebration.”

Noah leaned on the counter. “Yeah? What did you have in mind?”

“Well, something simple. I was thinking free cookies or little treats, some decorations, maybe some plants or flowers around the place to give it a warm touch.”

He nodded, his gaze thoughtful. “Sounds perfect, honestly. And if you need help with anything, I’ve got some stuff I could bring to add to the decorations. Old fairy lights, purple and pink, they were in my bedroom once, and some stuff we don’t use anymore.”

You perked up at that. “Really? That would be amazing. I think it’d add a lot. This place could use a little extra magic for the event.”

He smiled, reaching out to squeeze your hand. “Consider it done. I can bring them tomorrow, and we can figure out where to put everything.”

“Thank you,” you said softly.

He shrugged, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles. “Anything for you. For this place too. It’s part of us, you know? It's where we met. If this place hadn't existed maybe we would never have met.”

You looked down, smiling softly as he held your hand, thinking about his words. “I don’t know about that,” you said, glancing back up at him. “Have you ever heard of the red string theory?”

He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Yeah. I haven't heard of it since I was a kid though.”

You nodded, leaning on the counter a little closer to him. “It's about people who are meant to meet—soulmates, if you want to call them that—that are connected by an invisible red string. No matter where they are in the world, that string brings them together eventually. No matter what happens.”

Noah’s expression softened as he listened, his thumb absently tracing gentle circles on your hand. “So… you’re saying that even if this café wasn’t here, or if we’d missed each other somehow, we’d still end up meeting? Just… somewhere else?”

You nodded. “Exactly. Maybe it would’ve been a random bookshop, or in line at the grocery store, or at one of Luna’s school events. But, one way or another, we would’ve crossed paths.”

He smiled, a warm, almost awed look in his eyes. “Mh. I like that."

“I like that too,” you said softly. “And I think it’s true, you know? Like, we may not see it, but I believe there are little connections and coincidences all around us, nudging us in certain directions, bringing us closer to the people we’re supposed to know.”

Noah glanced around the café, as if seeing it with fresh eyes. “So, if it wasn’t this place, it would have been somewhere else… but, somehow, we’d find each other. I like that,” he repeated, his voice a gentle murmur, "I like thinking I would have found you anyway. And you would have found me."

Your smiled at that, nodding.

Then, you started getting ready for the day, giving Noah his usual tea and changing the little sign on the door from "closed" to "open".

A few people came in as the morning rolled on, and every now and then, someone would recognize Noah, offering a friendly wave or a shy smile. He didn’t mind, casually greeting a couple of fans and even pausing to take a quick photo with one, all while chatting with you as you worked.

The thing you were sure of was that the days at work you spent with Noah sitting at the counter next to you were always the best.

Tags: @anything-more-than-human @ladyveronikawrites @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingangelwisp @xmads-omensx @iwasntstable @thisbicc @pathion @mathfairchild1 @flowery-mess @into-the-grey @lma1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @stardustsirenmelody @thewrstinme

TBAF Tags: @aubrey-melinoe @klutzy-kay24 @mrscevans @concreteangel92 @iconic-taurus @niicoleleigh @cheyyyyr @supersquirrel1996 @respectfulrebel @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @clickmedead @missduffsblog

[sorrowsofsilence]

just a little nsfw sneak peak of a line in the bet 3 that has my heart pounding:

18+ below the cut~

"Noah," Folio grunted, teeth grit as they scraped against the damp skin of your shoulder. "I'm not gonna last long. She's so fucking tight."

A strange mix of cockiness and raw desperation coloured Noah's voice as he responded, "Don't you fucking dare, not until I fill her mouth.”

(Hopefully should be out in a couple days ;)

[nvyah]

the way he looks at herr!!🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

👀👄scccrrreeeeaaaamingggggggg**.........

[runningincircl3s]

Untitled Bestfriend!Noah x Reader Series

Part 2 (and i gave up thinking of a title)

yeah so i'm going to HELL!!!!! part one is here and you can join the taglist here :)

warnings: NSFW!! porn with little plot- each chapter is basically a oneshot, masturbation (f), fingering, guided masturbation, noah being a meanie, talking about oral (f), uh..?

You hadn’t meant to break down crying over a microwaveable mac and cheese.

But here you were, slumped on the kitchen floor, tears sliding down your cheeks as the timer beeped, and you realised you had left it in too long.

Your head was pounding, your phone was buzzing on the counter with another “can you take an extra shift?” text from work, your group chat still a mess of passive-aggressive messages, and the stress of an upcoming exam clinging to your chest like a weight. 

You wiped your cheeks with the sleeve of Noah’s hoodie, the one he’d let you leave with after that night to cover the hickeys he left on your skin, and now they were gone. And so was he.

You hated when he was away on tour. You hadn’t seen him in weeks, and god, you missed him.

Your fingers reached for your phone on the counter, hesitating over his name in your contacts. It was late. He’d probably just finished a show. He was probably with the band, or even worse- groupies. Either way, you didn’t want to interrupt anything.

But before your mind could spiral any further, your thumb moved on its own.

You: Hey, are you busy?

It only took a few seconds for the typing bubble to appear.

Noah: Nah, just back in the van. You okay?

You swallowed the lump in your throat, crawling up onto the couch and curling up into a ball.

You: Not really..

Noah: Wanna talk about it?

You didn’t even know where to start. But you tried.

You: Family stuff. My friends are arguing. School’s stressful. Works even worse. I'm so stressed, I feel like I can’t breathe.

There was a pause, long enough that you thought maybe he was busy after all. Then your phone buzzed again.

Noah: I’m so sorry. That’s a lot. I hate being away when I know you're struggling, I wish I could be there to hug you right now.

Your heart clenched, and the tears came faster.

You: I wish you were here.

Noah: Me too. 

Noah: You want me to distract you? Or just want me to listen?

You: Maybe both.

You could almost picture him smiling gently on the other end of the country, shoes kicked off, head resting back against the van window.

Noah: Alright. So first, breathe. Then go get some water. I’ll wait.

You smiled faintly, dragging yourself up from the couch and back into the kitchen, following his instructions. When you came back, your phone was vibrating again.

Noah: Back yet?

You: Yep. Water acquired. 

Noah: Good. Now, honest question… 

Noah: When's the last time you had an orgasm?

Your jaw dropped. You stared at the message in disbelief, and then burst out laughing through the tears.

You: NOAH??

Noah: What? I’m serious! Stress release, babe. Helps me every time!

You: You’re so gross.

Noah: Hey, nothing gross about it at all, it’s scientifically proven!! But seriously. Have you?

Your fingers hovered.

You: I’ve tried a couple times since we… y’know… but it never works. I can never cum like you made me do before.

The typing bubble paused. Then came back.

Noah: Jesus. You can’t say shit like that when I’m in a van full of dudes.

You giggled, nose still stuffy, and wiped your face again.

You: Sorry.

Noah: Don’t be. Just… try again. Think about something that turns you on. Read something horny. Watch something dirty?

You hesitated.

You: I’ll try. But if it doesn’t work, I’m blaming you.

Noah: Deal. And if it doesn’t, I’ll help you when I get back. Promise.

Your heart fluttered, and you felt your cheeks heat up. It was oddly comforting. 

You: I miss you, Noah.

Noah: Miss you too, sweetheart. More than you know.

…

And so you tried.

Every night that week, you’d go to bed, slipping your hand into your underwear, trying to do everything you had found out about online- circles, the alphabet, up and down, side to side, but to no avail. You even thought about him, about the way his cock felt nestled inside you, how his lips had felt against yours, the rasp of his voice against your ear, the heat of his hands, but it just wasn’t the same.

You watched videos, even though most of them were disturbing, it made you feel weird or gross or like you’d clicked on the wrong side of the internet. You tried reading stories, playing scenes over in your mind, even listening to audios and imagining it was him guiding you. Still, nothing. Frustration built and built until you slammed your phone face-down on your mattress and gave up.

Finally, the next day you caved and texted Sophia. She’d always been so open about the topic of sex, self love and pleasure, so you hoped she’d be able to help. 

You: Hey so this is embarrassing. But like… I need some help.

It only took a minute before her response lit up your screen.

Sophia: You’re talking to the right girl. What’s up?

She showed up the next day with a small pink paper bag and a smirk like she was handing over a sacred relic.

“Your knight in shining silicone,” she said, dropping the bag in your lap. “If this doesn’t help then I don’t know what will.”

You waited until the house was asleep that night. Locked your door. Slipped into bed with nervous fingers. The toy was quiet, surprisingly sleek in your palm, if you didn't know what it was you could've mistaken it for a dogs chew toy. You took a breath and let your thoughts drift… And to no surprise you instantly found yourself thinking about Noah.

Noah’s voice, Noah’s hands, Noah’s mouth, Noah's d-

And then, something happened.

Your body trembled slightly, your breath hitched…

Did it happen?

Was that it?

You laid there, staring at your ceiling fan in confusion. You didn't feel like you just came, but your body was too sensitive to continue.

It didn’t exactly feel bad, it just wasn’t good either. You didn’t feel relaxed. You didn’t even feel satisfied. 

You didn’t feel much. 

It wasn’t what it had been with him. There was no delicious build up, no warmth in your chest, no fire lingering in your belly. No laughter after. No soft kisses. No cuddles.

No Noah.

Just you and the silicone.

With a huff, you threw the vibrator across the room- making a mental note to clean it and hide it away tomorrow- and curled up under the sheets, wondering what was wrong with you. 

…

A few days passed. You didn’t bring it up again, to Sophia, to yourself, or to Noah. 

You were embarrassed, you were certain you had done it, that you came, but there was nothing to it?

You wondered if you were broken.

How could Noah make you feel so good, how did he know what your body liked, but you didn’t?

Then, on a quiet Thursday afternoon, your phone lit up with his name.

Noah: Hey, thought you’d like to know I’m home tomorrow night. You around?

Your breath caught. The reply was instant.

You: Yes. Please come over!!!

And so he did.

It was raining when he showed up. He looked tired, his hood up, bag slung over his shoulder, wet strands of hair sticking to his forehead. But when you opened the door and he saw you standing there in his hoodie and sleep shorts, his whole face softened.

“Hey,” he said gently, stepping inside. “You okay?”

You nodded, even though you weren’t. He saw right through it.

“I brought you a little something,” he said, tugging his hoodie off and pulling a tiny bag from the front pocket of his backpack.

You felt your heart warm, no matter where he was, or how long the tour was, he would always bring you something home. You were always on his mind.

“What is that?”

“A silly little cat plush I bought at a gas station. It reminded me of you.” He tossed it into your hands. “Weirdly cute.”

You laughed, warmth blooming in your chest for the first time in days. 

“You’re such an asshole.”

“You missed me though.” He smirked. 

You didn’t answer, not with words. You threw your arms around him instead, burying your face into his chest. His arms wrapped tight around you in return, one hand pressing to the small of your back like he was trying to hold you together.

“I’m here now,” he whispered into your hair. “I’ve got you.”

“Hey, is that Noah? He’s back already?” You heard your dad call from the kitchen. 

“Yeah, it’s me!” Noah called back, still holding you close. “Sorry, I didn’t want to get in the way of dinner or anything.”

“Nonsense, there’s plenty to go around,” your dad replied, voice trailing off as he returned to whatever he was doing. “You’re always welcome here, son.”

…

Later, after dinner and half a movie you didn’t really pay attention to, you ended up in your room together, something that never felt weird before, but felt a little different now. 

Noah lay stretched out on your bed, his hand resting lazily on your thigh as your head found its place on his chest. You could feel the steady rise and fall of his breathing, his heartbeat under your ear. You’ve been in this position many times before, when you’ve just needed to feel close, when you’ve been upset or stressed, and he’d run his fingers through your hair and reassure you, telling you everything will be okay.

“You wanna tell me what’s been going on?” He asked quietly.

“Everything’s just been getting too much,” you told him, then you hesitated. “And uh… I tried what we talked about.”

He didn’t need clarification. 

“Did it help?”

You shook your head against him, not looking up so he couldn’t see the blush on your cheeks. 

“It worked. Technically. But it felt… empty, I don’t know to explain it. It’s like my body went through the motions, but I didn’t feel it. I just laid there after, I almost didn’t realise it happened. It didn't feel good, I didn't feel any better after. I don’t know what’s wrong with me!”

Noah tilted his head to look at you. 

“Can I say something without sounding like a dick?”

You rolled your eyes. 

“You always say that before being a dick.”

“Baby, I’m being serious.” His hand slid up your thigh. “Maybe the problem is you’re trying to replace something that isn’t just physical…”

You stiffened slightly but didn’t move away. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” He sighed, fingers idly tracing patterns just above your knee. “When you’re with someone you trust, someone who knows you, and who wants you, it’s more than just release. It's a connection... It’s intimacy. All those cheesy things I pretend I don’t care about.”

You let out a small laugh, but it faded quickly. 

“So, what, I can’t enjoy it on my own anymore unless it’s with someone I’m in love with or whatever?”

“No, no not at all,” he said gently. “I just think maybe right now, your brain’s kind of overrun. With stress. With everything. It’s hard to give yourself that pleasure when you’re barely hanging on.”

You swallowed. 

“That makes sense, I guess.”

Noah shifted slightly beneath you, his hand sliding to your waist, grounding you. 

“Also… can I say something without it being weird?”

“That depends.” You raised a brow.

He smiled, eyes soft. 

“Sometimes I think about you too. When I’m… y’know. Doing that.”

“Noah!” Your cheeks flamed. 

“What?” he grinned. “I do. It’s not weird... you’re hot.”

You groaned, burying your face in his chest. 

“You’re literally the worst.”

“But you’re smiling,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “That’s a win.”

A comfortable silence settled over the two of you, and you looked up at him, a soft smile on your face.

“Thank you, Noah. You’ve helped me feel better already.” You said quietly.

He looked down at you. 

“I have?”

“Yeah. Just by being here. I feel like I can breathe again.”

Noah’s voice dropped, low and sincere. 

“I hate being away when you’re like this. You know I’d drop everything and come back for you if I could.”

You looked up at him, heart thudding in your chest. 

“I know. That’s why it means so much when you’re here.”

For a moment, neither of you moved.

Then, slowly, Noah leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. Then your temple. Then your cheek.

You turned toward him, breath catching.

Your noses brushed. And then… your lips.

It wasn’t rushed or hungry. It was soft, and intimate.

You kissed him back, your fingers tightening in his shirt, grounding yourself in the feeling you’d been chasing for weeks, what you've waiting to feel since the last time he kissed you.

And suddenly, the world didn’t feel so heavy. Everything that has been bothering you for weeks was suddenly forgotten about. 

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Still feel stressed?”

You shook your head, eyes glassy. 

“No. Not anymore.”

He smiled, brushing his thumb across your bottom lip. 

“Good.”

He studied you for a moment, his thumb still ghosting over your lip like he wasn’t ready to stop touching you yet. Like he was memorising the way you looked when you finally started to feel okay again.

Then he spoke, quiet but steady. 

“I can help you, y'know?”

Your breath caught. 

“Help with what?”

“Teach you how to do it,” he said, like it wasn’t the most dangerous thing he’d ever said in your bedroom. “How to make yourself feel good. Really good.”

You blinked, heat rising to your cheeks. 

“Noah-”

“I know,” he said quickly, his palm still warm against your waist. “It sounds… I don’t know, forward. But only if you want that. I’d never…” he exhaled, like the thought of pushing you too far made him physically sick. “I just know you've been having a hard time with it and I want to help.”

The room was silent except for the low hum of the TV still playing in the background. You stared at him, at your best friend, the one who knew the darkest parts of your life and always stood by you. The one who made you laugh when you never thought you would again. The one who you’d been aching for recently in ways you hadn’t dared to name out loud.

You nodded slowly, your voice barely audible. 

“Okay. Teach me.”

His eyes searched yours like he needed to make absolutely sure. 

“You’re sure?”

“I trust you, you’ve made me feel good before,” you whispered. “I want to feel it again.”

Noah exhaled, something easing in his shoulders. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your jaw, then your neck, soft and reverent. 

“Then lie back for me, sweetheart.”

Your heart thudded against your ribs, butterflies in your stomach fluttering with anticipation and a strange, sweet warmth. You sank back onto the pillows as he moved beside you, propping himself up on one elbow.

“Just breathe,” he murmured, his hand brushing your arm. “And listen to me.”

You nodded, taking a breath, your eyes locked on his.

“You okay?” he asked, voice low, intimate.

“Yeah," You nodded. "Just… don’t laugh at me.”

“Never,” he said seriously. “Not about this. Not about you.”

You took a breath, shifting a little on the sheets, almost embarrassed to start.

“Here,” he said softly, guiding your hand down over the front of your shorts. “Let me show you…”

Still holding your hand, he gently pulled the waistband down, your shorts sliding lower, followed by your underwear, letting you kick them off. The cool air hit your skin, but you didn’t feel exposed. Not with him looking at you like that, soft and reverent, like you were something sacred.

He brought your hand lower, his long tattooed fingers resting over yours, guiding them between your thighs.

“Right here,” he murmured, pressing lightly. “That’s where it starts.”

You gasped quietly at the sensation, warm and faintly electric, but different. Not quite enough.

He moved your fingers in slow, careful circles, mimicking the motion he would use himself.

“Gentle pressure on your clit, baby. Like this. You don’t have to go fast. Just focus on how it feels.”

You nodded, heart hammering in your chest as you tried to follow his rhythm.

Noah pulled back slightly, letting you move your hand yourself.

“There you go,” he said quietly, eyes fixed on your face. “You’re doing good.”

You bit your lip, trying to concentrate, but it still wasn't right. You could feel something… warmth, tension building faintly… but it never built the way it did when he touched you.

You furrowed your brow, frustrated.

He noticed instantly.

“Hey,” he whispered, brushing hair away from your forehead. “Don’t overthink it. That’s the fastest way to kill it.”

“I know,” you breathed, fingers still moving. “It’s just...it's not the same.”

“I know,” he said softly, leaning down to kiss your shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re learning.”

You nodded in agreement, and kept trying.

“Think about how it felt when I kissed your neck,” he whispered. “When I pressed you into my mattress. When I made you cum on my cock...”

You moaned quietly, lips parting as you thought back to that feeling. Your fingers moved a little faster now, guided by instinct and the memory of him.

“That’s it,” he said, voice thick. “Let it build. Let it drive you a little crazy. Let it feel good.”

And you tried. You really did.

For exactly 15 minutes.

Noah gave you your space, letting you explore yourself beneath the sheets whilst he put a show on, not wanting you to feel like he was watching in case it put you off.

You followed every step Noah gave you, slow touches, more pressure. You kept your eyes closed, tried to remember the feel of his hands, the way he kissed you last time. You imagined his mouth on your neck, his breath against your skin… but after a few more minutes, nothing was happening. Nothing was building anymore.

You let out a frustrated sigh, your fingers stilling, your shoulders tense.

Noah shifted beside you, the mattress creaking slightly under his weight as he sat back up on one elbow.

“Still nothing?” He asked gently.

You opened your eyes, moving your hand away, blinking up at the ceiling with a hint of defeat.

“I can’t do it.” You shook your head.

“You can. You just haven’t yet.”

“It’s like…” You glanced at him, a little embarrassed. “It’s not even the pressure. It’s not the angle. It’s that… it doesn’t feel good without you.”

His eyes softened, and then something darker lit up within them. Something almost possessive.

“You’re telling me your pussy only listens to me?” He said, almost teasing, but there was hunger in his voice too.

You flushed.

“Apparently... I think I'm just broken.”

He gave you a look that was all fond exasperation. 

“You're not broken, babe.”

You blinked up at him, lips parting to protest, but he stopped you.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Would you like some help?”

Your breath caught. 

“What kind of help?”

“The kind where I use my hands instead of giving a TED Talk from over here.” His smirk was lazy but not unkind. “Only if you want me to.”

You hesitated for a second, before nodding.

“Okay," you whispered, "Yes please."

“Okay." He echoed, his voice softer now. 

He gently tugged the covers down,

"Spread your legs for me, baby." He said softly, and shifted to kneel between them.

His hands brushed over your thighs, his eyes flicking up to meet yours like he was asking for permission one more time.

You gave him a nod, which he returned with a smile before his eyes met your heat.

His fingers brushes against your folds, and you saw how his eyes grew darker when he parted your lips.

“Fuck, baby,” he muttered. “She definitely listens to me.”

You felt your face heat up again, and he just smirked, placing a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh.

“I’m gonna start slow,” he murmured. “Just here, on your clit.” He pressed his thumb gently against it, just enough pressure to make you twitch. “Feel that?”

You nodded, your breath catching.

“This is where all your nerves gather. That's why it's so sensitive...”

His fingers moved in soft circles, slow and hypnotic.

“Tell me if it’s too much.”

“It’s not,” you breathed. “It’s good.”

“Yeah?” He smiled, clearly pleased. “I’ll stay here a little longer, let you settle into it. Don’t chase anything yet, okay? Just feel it.”

You did. You let yourself melt under his touch, under his voice.

“Now,” he said, lowering his head again just slightly to kiss your thigh, “I’m gonna slide a finger in, just one. I’ll still focus on the outside, but the inside helps build that pressure. That fullness. You trust me?”

You nodded. 

“Always.”

His finger slid in slowly, carefully. The angle was just right, his other hand still moving in slow, patient circles on your clit.

“Feel that?” he asked, his voice low. “That little spot inside, just… there…”

 He curled his finger just slightly and you gasped.

“There she is,” he smiled. “That’s your spot, sweetheart. Right there.”

Your hips tilted, chasing the feeling before you even realised it.

Everything was slow. Steady and intimate, like he had all the time in the world.

“You’re doing so good,” he murmured. “You feel incredible. I wish you could feel what I feel, how warm you are, how soft.”

You whimpered, your fingers gripping the sheets as his finger curled inside you again. 

“That feel good?” He murmured, watching your face closely.

You nodded, biting your lip.

“Good,” he said, voice darker now, heavier. “Now I want you to listen to me. I’m gonna keep my finger inside you, right here-” he said, curling it again to prove his point, and your whole body flinched, “but I want you to play with your clit for me. The way I showed you.”

You hesitated, but his voice dropped even lower, coaxing.

“Come on, sweetheart. I know you can do it.”

You reached down slowly, breath catching as your fingers brushed against yourself. You were already soaked, his touch alone had done that.

“That’s it,” he whispered. “Feel how wet you are for me? That’s all for us, baby. Now rub it. Gentle circles, just like I did. Not too hard.”

You whimpered as you obeyed, copying his rhythm, your fingers shaky.

“Good girl,” he praised, and the words made your stomach flip. “Just like that. Keep going.”

His finger curled inside you again, slow and deep, and you couldn’t help the moan that escaped.

“You feel that?” He growled. “That spot, right there. That’s mine now. You let me have it.”

Your hips bucked, your breath ragged as your fingers moved faster.

“Eyes on me,” he said. “I want to see your face when you come.”

You looked at him, wide-eyed, desperate. 

“I don’t think I can-”

“You can, just stop getting in your head,” he said firmly, leaning over you. “You’re already so close. I can feel it, the way you’re tightening around my finger. Keep rubbing that sweet little clit. Picture me between your legs if it helps.”

You gasped again, your thighs shaking.

“Yeah, that’s it. You like thinking about me eating you out, huh?” His voice was sinfully soft. “Tongue right here,” he dragged his thumb over your clit slowly, “Sucking you till you cry.”

Your breath hitched, and you moved your hand back down/

“I’d spend hours with my face buried between your thighs, baby. Lick you until your legs are shaking... Want you to know how fucking good it feels to fall apart.”

Your fingers sped up, desperation growing, but your rhythm faltered.

“No,” he murmured, catching your hand with his free one. “You don’t stop now. Here..." he guided your fingers back into motion, showing you the right pressure, the right speed, “Just like this.”

You whimpered, everything tightening inside.

“I’ve got you,” he said, curling his finger again. “Come on, sweetheart. I want you to come for me. Right now.”

And you did. It hit like a crash, hot and fast, your whole body seizing up as you moaned his name, thighs clamping around his wrist. He didn’t stop, he helped work you through it, watching you unravel with dark, hungry eyes

When you finally opened your eyes, your vision a little blurry, Noah was watching you like you’d just handed him the stars.

“Hi,” he whispered, brushing a kiss to your temple. “You okay?”

You nodded, still breathless. 

“I… yeah. That was….”

He chuckled, settling beside you and pulling the blankets up over both of you. 

“Told you you weren’t broken.”

You curled into his chest, your face buried in his neck. 

“That was amazing, Noah... Thank you."

He smiled against your hair. 

“Glad I could be of service.”

You slapped his chest weakly.

“Shut up.”

He just laughed and kissed the top of your head.

“You ever need a refresher course,” he murmured, “I offer hands-on lessons. Free of charge.”

“Shut up." You chuckled.

He laughed, wrapping his arms around you. 

“You gotta admit it… that was hot.”

You groaned into his skin. 

“Don’t make it weird.”

“Y/n, I took your virginity, and you literally just came with my finger inside you. I think we’re past weird.”

You swatted him, and he just kissed the top of your head, smug and soft and so pleased with himself.

"Will you stay tonight?" You asked softly.

"Well, I wasn't exactly planning on going home just yet."

…

It wasn’t until later, after you'd both gone quiet, after the teasing had faded into comfortable silence, that the shift truly settled in. You weren’t tangled in limbs out of habit anymore. You weren’t just cuddling because that’s what you’ve always done.

Noah's fingers were still brushing slow, lazy lines along your spine. Your legs were half-draped over his, your head tucked beneath his chin. He hadn’t let go of your hand once.

There was something new in the quiet. Not tension, exactly. More like awareness.

You were aware of how his skin felt under your fingertips. Of how your body responded to his, even now, just being close. Of how safe, and kind of addictive, it felt to be this near to him.

He shifted a little beneath you and murmured, 

“You still awake?”

You nodded against his chest. 

“You?”

“Barely. But I didn’t wanna sleep without saying something.”

You lifted your head, resting your chin on him again so you could see his face. He looked sleepy and warm and totally, devastatingly fond of you.

“I liked this,” he said. “All of it. Not just what we did. But… this. Us.”

You smiled. 

“Yeah. Me too.”

There was a long pause before either of you spoke again, like the next words needed to mean something.

“I think I wanna do this again,” he said softly, fingers brushing through your hair. “Not just once. Not just to ‘help’ you.”

Your heart thudded in your chest. 

“You mean like… regularly?”

“I mean like whenever we feel like it. Whenever it feels good. Which it does. I think we’re… kinda good at this.”

You laughed quietly, and it melted into a smile. 

“Yeah. Surprisingly.”

He tilted his head, nudging his nose against yours. 

“Still wanna be best friends?”

“Always.”

You always knew there was more to your relationship than just friendship, but it exceeded romance too. You could never imagine actually dating your best friend, because that felt wrong... But somehow this felt just right.

"I want to have to define whatever this is." you said, not wanting to put your friendship at stake.

“I don’t want to either,” he said. “I just want to keep doing what feels good. What feels right.”

You smiled again, a softer one this time, and tilted your face to look up at him.

“So you’re saying we’re gonna keep having insanely good sex and act totally normal about it?”

His lips quirked up, eyes glinting.

“Exactly. Just two best friends. Totally normal. Totally casual.” He kissed your forehead, then grinned wider. “Totally obsessed with how good your pussy feels.”

"Noah!" You shoved at his chest with a breathless laugh.

He caught your wrist mid-shove and pulled you close, chest vibrating with laughter.

"Sorry." He smirked, "C'mon, we better get some sleep, it's pretty late."

You nodded and kissed his cheek before settling back down on his chest, your entire body feeling light and calm and settled for the first time in weeks.

This didn’t feel like a mistake. It didn’t feel wrong, or like you were crossing a line. It felt like opening a door to something that had been waiting there the whole time.

And just when Noah thought you had gone quiet, ready to sleep, you spoke up again. 

“Noah?”

“Hm?”

“...Will you eat me out next time? Just, since you mentioned it earlier… I’ve always wondered if it feels as good as people say… And I’ve heard stories about what you can do with that mouth.” You giggled. 

Noah froze for half a second, then let out a breathless laugh, his chest shaking beneath your cheek.

“You tryna kill me?” he murmured, grinning like he’d just been handed a gift.

You lifted your head slightly, just enough to meet his eyes, still half-lidded with sleep but already darker again.

“I’m serious.” You whispered, voice warm with want.

He smirked, brushing your hair back from your face. 

“Baby… I’ve been dreaming about that.”

Your stomach flipped at the way he said it.

“You have?”

“Since the first night I moved into my place, we had a party, we got drunk together and you sat on the kitchen counter in those tiny-ass shorts.” His fingers trailed lazily up your bare thigh. “I wanted to drop to my knees right then and taste you.”

You gasped softly.

“Next time,” he murmured, his voice slowing, growing darker with lust, “I’m gonna lay you out on the bed, spread your pretty legs, throw ‘em over my shoulders...”

You swallowed, thighs already tightening.

“I wanna make a mess of you,” he whispered, lips brushing your jaw. “Have your thighs all slick, ruin my sheets, have your pretty little pussy swollen and desperate because I won’t stop licking. I want you crying my name, grinding on my face, so, so desperate to cum.”

A soft whimper escaped you, and he smirked, but kissed beneath your ear, hot and slow. 

“And you will cum, baby. Over and over, as much as you want, until you don’t even remember your own name.”

You were panting now, aching, practically squirming against him.

“Noah…”

He tilted your chin up with two fingers, eyes locked on yours.

“I’m gonna have you sit on my face, baby. Let you ride it as looong as you want. Rub that sweet cunt all over my tongue. Fuck- I want you to cum so hard-”

You cut him off with a weak shove to his chest. 

“Okay, okay! Enough! Shut up.”

He blinked, then laughed again, smug as hell. 

“Oh? Getting a little worked up?”

“You’re doing it on purpose,” you groaned, cheeks hot. “And it’s mean.”

He grinned, the worst kind of teasing. 

“You started it.”

“I was being honest,” you muttered, wiggling a little closer to him. “You’re the one now turning it into torture.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, kissed your temple again, then infuriatingly let out a content sigh and rolled over.

“Well,” he said, sounding far too pleased with himself, “goodnight, y/n.”

Your mouth dropped open. 

“What?”

He smirked at the ceiling. 

“You heard me.”

“You’re just gonna leave me like this?”

He stretched a little, getting cozy. 

“Yup.”

“You’re evil.”

“I know,” he murmured, eyes slipping shut. “Sleep tight.”

You stared at him, equal parts furious and turned on. 

And the worst part? He knew exactly what he was doing. You huffed, flopping back down, facing away from him and pulling the blanket over yourself with a growl.

Noah chuckled quietly and reached over to tug you against his side again.

“C’mon, you’ll survive,” he whispered, mouth against your hair. “Besides… now you’ve got something to dream about.”

You muttered something unintelligible into his shoulder, and he just smiled wider.

Smug bastard.

--------------------------------

yeah so ovulation got the better of me this month

@dominuslunae @chey-h @xxkittenkissesxx @theasowle @renegadebirch @super-btstrash-posts @skulla-rxcks

[concreteburialplot]

VIRALITY // 12

12 - Liar, Liar*

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc [vallie]

more: chp 11 // masterlist | crossposted: ao3 | word count: 14.7k (strap in)

Summary: Following Noah and Vallie's thrift shop adventure, Vallie faces the consequences of her actions. After the launch of their new music video, Vallie realizes she might not like what she wished for. A pivotal decision reshapes the group's dynamics, leading to a significant change in the connection between a specific pair.

warnings: alcohol, bratty noah, smoking, heartache, yearning, regret, jealousy, unprotected sex, cream pie x2, oral (f receiving), cum eating kinda?, angry nick but also soft nick???, fluffy???, she's just a girl ok, mediocre writing lol, sorry this has taken 500 years, my apology is that it's long as fuck, 18+ MDNI

Disclaimer - This story is AU since it does not follow actual timelines or events. The band here is still fairly small & does things entirely on their own with no other support.

Reminder; Minor band crossovers (greta van fleet / chase atlantic) to supply side characters :)

don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

VALLIE

When Noah and I walk up the gravelly incline to the warehouse, the rest of the band and Bryan are all on their phones lounging on different surfaces - chairs with feet propped on tables, against the brick wall, spread out on the floor. Boredom was an understatement. 

“Well, took you guys long enough.” Grumbles Jolly. “What did you get lost picking out scarves?”

My heart skips a beat at the coincidental wording. “Sorry, we really had to dig to find anything.” I mumble quickly, throwing the plastic shopping bags on the ground.

“Well, did you find anything good?” Jolly asks.

“Oh, we found something good alright.” Noah replies, shoving his hand into a plastic bag to retrieve the cursed fedora.

I roll my eyes and playfully smack his arm, “Shut up.”

“No.” He says matter-of-factly, with a popped hip and a hand on his waist. “It’s your fault, you put it on my head.”

“Yeah whatever.” I laugh and wave off his silliness.

I suddenly feel all eyes in the room on us accompanied by an awkward stillness. Of course they’d be thrown off, we could barely be in a room together before we left, why wouldn’t this be strange?

I glance up for a split second before digging into the bags and find Nicholas’ eyes watching us intently. His brows low and eyes sharp.

In my tummy swirls a feeling so closely reminiscent of guilt, similar to when I was with Kras last night. But neither make any sense. Nicholas and I aren’t anything, it shouldn’t matter. Kras and I are just friends. And Noah and I definitely are not anything. And yet, here he is looking angry and here I am feeling guilty.

After handing out the thrifted clothes and a wardrobe change, the boys come out in their new clothes, and they look perfect. The pieces we chose embody each one of them flawlessly. They fit the direction Noah wants for the music video but they’re rather simple. Folio’s is the most basic in a plain black shirt, black jeans, and his sneakers. Jolly’s is a black long sleeve button down, tight black pants paired with his hefty combat boots. Noah’s outfit was centered around the black peacoat we found as the statement piece with a black turtleneck beneath it, black pants and boots. We even picked up something for Bryan even though he was staying behind the camera - he got a vintage Kodak t-shirt, which he thought was “rad as hell”. 

Since I showed up in last night’s sweats, I figured I’d pick up an outfit as well. I found a grey sundress. It’s something I would normally only wear in casual settings, but I wanted to be comfy and it was the only halfway cute thing in the thrift shop.

The outfit I picked out for Nicholas was the best one, but I may be biased. It’s a thin black sweater with thumb holes atop a black turtleneck paired with baggy, strappy pants and finished off with black leather combat boots.

With the new uniforms, the band and crew seem to have a reinvigorated morale. It did exactly what I needed it to do, it gave them the spark they needed to bring the music video to life. 

We spend our time running the song over and over while Bryan gets shots from all angles. I got some content for posting and even posed the boys for some social media trends, which they all hated except Folio, and Bryan in the background. Since I was done gathering content, I sat at the plastic picnic table on the far side of the warehouse diagonal from the makeshift stage while they continued to shoot slightly different variations.

I plug my phone and camera into my Macbook to import the photos and videos I took to begin editing them and schedule them for posting.

“Vallie.” I hear a voice call amongst mumbling between a take.

I snap up to match the voice to the source: Noah.

“What’s up?” I respond, half expecting to be met with some sort of criticism or snarky remark.

“Were you paying attention to this last take?” He questions, but not in an accusatory way that I’d normally anticipate, just genuine curiosity.

“A little, why?”

“What did you think of the intro?��

A hush blankets the room and the rest of them look between us as if they’d seen a ghost. I’m glad we’re finally kind of getting along but I wish he wouldn’t make it so obvious. Especially in front of Nicholas. The odd feeling in the room dances a chill up my arms leaving goosebumps behind.

“Oh um, I liked it? It was cool.” Truthfully, I’m not sure that I did like it, but I just wanted to move on from being in the spotlight.

He gives me a wide, genuine grin like a kid in the middle of a playground, “Sick, I thought so too.”

I glance over at Bryan, who is slowly but surely becoming my lifeline in these situations. He offers a ‘I don’t know either but just roll with it?’ look with a brow wiggle and a barely noticeable shrug.

Mid-shoot everyone needed some sort of touch up. I somehow had my job description expanded to include wardrobe and makeup.

The one I dreaded the most was Nicholas.

I walk over to him, mute, focusing my eyes straight forward which for me happens to be his chest. I keep my gaze away from his eyes as I fix the collar of his cardigan.

He too keeps his focus off of me.

“Sorry I acted like an ass earlier.” He says sounding partially sincere, partially grumpy. “It was out of line, and I’m sorry.”

I clear my throat. An apology was the last thing I expected and the last thing I deserve. “It’s okay.”

A quiet pause fills the small space between us.

“So, you’re seeing someone?” He questions casually but I can tell it’s anything but casual.

I press my lips together contemplating if I really want to commit this hard to the ruse. But Kras is right, and my gut is right. No matter how much I want to stay entangled with him, it can’t continue. I don’t know how well this action plan is going to work, but I have to try.

“Yes.” I lie with fake confidence. “Kind of.”

He takes a moment to process my response which makes me question how good of a job I did with lying. Finally, he nods, his eyes still locked on something past the opening of the warehouse.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.” I sweeten the lie.

“I guess that’s a good thing then, you know, for our jobs and all.” His voice light, as if he’s purposefully making it seem more nonchalant than it is. I know I hurt him, I can hear it in his voice. Whether it was his heart or his ego that I hurt, I’m not sure but all I know is that we went too far. “It just would’ve been nice to know.”

The painful twist in my chest confirms that I made the right decision to stick to the plan. I'm already so invested in him that it hurts; I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if I let myself fall any deeper.

I swallow the very faint lump in my throat and flatten out the thin material resting on his chest. Spending another night with him was a bigger mistake than I realized because just the warmth of him beneath my fingertips makes me want to melt right into him. I wish I didn’t know what he felt like, what he sounded like, what he tasted like. Suddenly I want to take everything back. I want to unkiss him, unfuck him, unknow him. In the span of knowing them and being on their team, I’ve regretted it about 75% of the time but there, standing in front of him, it is a solid 110%.

I wish I had just heard them on the radio and found myself at a show, 

or met them in passing during industry events,

or maybe bumped into him in a coffee shop where he suggests his favorite latte,

or literally any other scenario that would grant me the luxury of just reaching up and kissing him without feeling confliction or guilt. 

The reality of the whole situation hits me all at once and my entire mood shifts abruptly, in a way I’ve never let happen while I work. I’m normally exceptionally skilled in the art of separating my emotions from most other things but this cuts through all of that. He lowered my walls more than anyone ever had and reached a part of me I’ve never let someone do before. I swallow hard and blink the burning in my eyes away. The last thing I need is for him to see my eyes full of tears. 

So, I do what I think makes the most sense. I yank each edge of my mouth into a tight-lipped smile and step back to hold out an overly professional hand, “Friends?” 

He nearly grimaces at the word and begrudgingly snakes his hand into mine, gripping it firmly and giving it a shake. “Whatever you want, Vallie.” He grumbles sarcastically before walking off back to the set. 

He leaves me with my hand vacant and my eyes blinking at the wall he just stood in front of. I knew he wasn’t happy with me, but I didn’t know we’d end up starting over.

The music video that Noah had fast tracked was finally finished regardless of what the others felt. It was filmed and edited by Bryan with Noah glued to his side the whole time to make sure it followed his “vision” for it perfectly. It was hyper tuned into the details and nuances Noah was looking to cultivate for the prematurely released song.

Two weeks later, I hit post on the music video with the band scattered around the rehearsing studio, celebrating with beers and laughter. I roll my eyes playfully at the happy, excited actions that ensue behind me but bite down on my lip to keep myself from smiling. While it’s not everything they or I wanted, it’s still a damn good video and I’m proud of them for it. 

All entanglements aside, it’s the first time that I’ve felt like I truly helped them achieve something great. Their growth and publicity had been steady but incredibly slow despite all of my best efforts. Their initial boom from the band going viral months ago plateaued. I’ve been chalking it up to the lack of content, but the faint fear of chronic stagnation has been creeping up my ribs every so often. It’s something I warned them from the beginning - “Anyone can go viral, but it won’t last.” I recall telling them at the very start. “Don’t get attached to the numbers.” I told them that it burns bright for a split second then gets snuffed out by the next big thing to come along. But they didn’t listen to me, and I can see the disappointment and fear worsening in Noah’s features with each day that passes. It’s all made me wonder if there was even a place in the scene for them, or if what their label is trying to accomplish is possible. It made me question my ability to execute the task handed to me.

I posted all of the music video promotions across all forms of media and posted some of the pre-filmed short form content onto TikTok and Instagram. “Alright well, your part is done now, I’m just gonna keep working.”

I stand, beginning to gather all the papers scattered over the table. “With all the teasing I posted for the video and all the extra content we filmed, engagement has gone up by about 5%. I estimate it going up by about another 10-15% for the next couple of weeks while the music video gains traction.” I dropped the edges of the paperwork against the table a couple times to align them into a neat stack. “You’ve gained a significant amount of followers as well, at least compared to before the promo content.”

“Aw Vallie,” Bryan throws an arm around my shoulders pulling me into a side hug. “Is this your way of saying we did a good job?” 

A small smile tugs at one edge of my lips, “I’m just saying that the music video is projected to do really well.” I sink my teeth into my lip again, this time to keep from speaking but it fails. “And, I think you guys did a great job.” I rush the words out at the end.

The large grin is nearly identical across the five boys' faces, each one unique in their features, but the glow of finally birthing a new project is potent in all their smiles.

As they mingle about, I return my focus to my screen and sit back down. Likes and comments begin to pour in, faster than expected. The promo posts over the past couple weeks built up a significant amount of anticipation and excitement, I just didn’t expect it to gain momentum so fast. Compared to other clients, this engagement is nothing, a couple hundred comments within the first 30 minutes, but for them, it’s huge. I decide to keep it to myself for now to not get their hopes up too high since the numbers could plateau quickly. 

But before I exit completely, my eyes catch a couple comments that churn my stomach unexpectedly.

nobody told me the singer was so hot !!

damn he’s fine as fuck

oh my god Noah is so !!!!

the whole band is fine wtf 

god that bassist is sooo sexy

My eyes narrow and my teeth involuntarily clench at the last comment. A dull ache throbs in my chest at the words, a feeling I’m not quite sure I’ve ever experienced before. 

My plan to leverage their looks was working. This is exactly what I wanted, what I held meetings for, what I fought for, what I was hired for - so why does it suddenly feel like a loss?

I glance at Nicholas, who’s joking with the others, his face lit up with a carefree smile. My heart aches but, this is exactly what I wanted for him. For them. Yet, the jealousy gnaws at me, sharp and unrelenting. I want to be happy for them, I should be happy for them. But each comment feels like a tiny dagger, reminding me of what I’ve deprived myself of.

I exhale and close the lid to my laptop. I tap along the table just trying to shake my head from whatever confusion is clouding it. I just need to get out.

The group talks amongst themselves as they celebrate, and I inevitably fade into the background. I start gathering all my belongings to throw into my tote bag to hopefully make a quiet exit.

“You liked the music video?” A voice startles me from across the round table. 

I look up to find Noah. I quickly glance to the red solo cup he’s holding carefully in his hand. It makes me wonder what’s in it and if it will lead to the same aftermath I've seen before with a drunken Noah. It’s only when I look around that I realize that each of them has a drink in hand and they’ve put music on. 

“Yeah.” I shrug, “I think you guys did good.” 

“We, you mean.” He corrects.

“We?” 

“Yeah. You helped pick out the outfits and did all the promo stuff, did you not?” He raises a brow. 

“Yeah? I guess I did.” 

Noah rests his arm on a nearby high-top table, taking a sip of his drink. “We made a deal, you and I a while ago, do you remember it?” He questions.

I silently filter through our meetings in my mind. While working together we’ve made many deals, but I land on the one I know he’s talking about and a smile creeps across my lips. “‘I’ll do my job well, if you do yours.’” 

An unexpected wide grin pulls at his mouth, “Well, I think we both did our jobs well here.” 

He was right, we did. Looking back at the meeting just a few months ago seems so juvenile now. Noah was so angry about me being brought on to the crew and while I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily thrilled that I’m here now, I can tell that I’ve grown on him. I proved myself to him, at least a little bit. 

“Yeah, we did.” I nod with a genuine smile, “Proud of us.” 

He wrapped an arm around me and gave me a squeeze, smiling down at me. “Me too.”

I leaned into him and caught a glimpse of Nicholas watching us both. The look on his face was flat and filled with an unreadable expression. 

My eyes flicker down immediately to avoid him then pull away from Noah’s grasp. He then goes on to ramble about music and the album, I’m not quite sure why he’s over here talking to me and not to the rest of them but, here I am. His words fade into the background as I look past him to spot Nick again. This time he’s caught up in some excited conversation between Brian and Folio. His wide smile meets his eyes filling them with such happiness as he laughs. His tattooed fingers interrupt the condensation on a beer bottle and his hair is gathered up into a low bun. He looks breathtaking and it suddenly fills me with a sadness I don’t think I’ll be able to beat here. 

I’ll never have the opportunity to be with him at a party like this, or out to dinner or have a normal, run-of-the-mill relationship. There’s a bit of heartbreak in watching him ensue in an interaction we may never have now that I’ve ruined everything.

But I ruined it for a reason, my brain reminds me.

I catch Nicholas’s eye. His smile falters, and for a moment, I think he senses my unease. I quickly look away, swallowing the lump in my throat.

The ache that makes home in my ribcage does not care for reason; its only concern is pain. It suddenly becomes unbearable, and I need to leave, now. I need to go home, I need to fucking get of out here.

 “I’m sorry, Noah but I have to go.” I hurriedly throw my bag over my shoulder and snatch my keys.

“What? Why? Is everything okay?” Noah asks, concerned.

“Yeah, I just… I need to go,” I say, my voice wavering as I avoid his gaze. “I have an important meeting I have to be home for.” My hand tightens around my keys so hard that the jagged edges dig into the flesh of my palm.

I stand up, the room spinning slightly as I do, despite not having anything to drink. I head for the door, each step feeling heavier than the last. I can feel Nicholas’s eyes on me, but I don’t dare look back.

Pushing through the front door, I take a deep breath of the cool night air, but it does little to calm the storm inside me. I walk quickly to my rental car, fumbling with the keys as tears blur my vision. Finally, I manage to unlock the door and slide into the driver’s seat. 

As I drive home, the tears flow like rivers down my cheeks. The ache in my chest is relentless, a constant reminder of what I’ve given up and the lies I’ve told. I made my choice, and now I have to live with it. But the pain doesn’t care about reason or decisions. It only knows how to hurt.

I don’t stop driving until I reach my Airbnb. I stumble inside, dropping my bag on the floor and collapsing onto the couch. The tears flow freely now as I sink into the furniture, wishing things could be different but knowing they’ll never be. As much as I’d like to, I can’t undo my decision nor change the reasons behind it. As long as I work for them, Nick and I can never be anything more than just friends. Maybe in another life, there’s a him and I that work, but it’s not this one.

It doesn’t matter how much it hurts seeing him at events, or getting comments in videos, or even just being around him. He’s not mine and he can’t be. I’m not what he wants anyway, his career is just taking off the last thing he needs is to be entangled with someone who wants more than just sex. Is that even what I want? I barely even have time to fucking cry in the car, how would I balance a relationship?

Mourning the loss of what could’ve been is hard, but an inevitable breakup would be worse. However, just because I chose the lesser of two evils doesn’t mean it’s easy.

I glance at the time on my watch and scramble when I realize I’m late for my meeting. Unfortunately, I didn’t lie to Noah about that.

Flipping open my laptop, I’m right on time when the zoom call rushes in. I wipe the remnants of my tears and allow myself one more sniffle before answering.

The bright, shining faces of my original clients light up the screen. With drinks and cigars in hand, they greet me with their usual exuberance. They’re getting one last party in before they leave for tour soon. It’s the first tour I haven’t joined them on since working for them. The realization that I’m not going with them mingled with the feelings I just ran away from only worsens the pain in my torso. There’s nothing more I wish to do than to just run off with them to Europe and forget all about this mess with Nick. But I have too much on my plate to be touring with them right now, so I’m working remotely for them temporarily.

Their naturally cheery demeanors lift my spirits, and while it is still a work call, they always seem to make work fun. It makes me wish even more that I was going with them. Working for them has always been easy and enjoyable. The stark contrast between them and Omens is jarring. While we do have a longer history, Greta has always felt comforting, uplifting and loving – like family. I always feel valued and appreciated, and I never have to question my belonging with them.

Omens, on the other hand, has been nothing but complicated, painful, and uncomfortable. Instead of feeling like I’m part of something, I often feel like I’m navigating through a minefield between Noah’s volatility and Nick’s complexity. It’s hard to feel motivated when the environment is so hostile, and it leaves me questioning my place and purpose. Up until recently that is – things seem to be looking up now that Noah and I are getting along.

Comparing the two bands makes me long for the simplicity and warmth of Greta even more. The comfort and camaraderie I immediately feel when answering the zoom only highlights the cold, challenging reality of working with Omens. It’s a reminder of what I’m lacking and a painful acknowledgment of the complication of my current situation. The situation I put myself in.

Yet, Noah’s words ring in my ears, “We did our jobs well.” Perhaps it’s not as bleak as it once was. The memory of our truce plants a seed of hope in my chest. Maybe Bryan was right, that they just need time to come around.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” The bassist, Sam, jokes, pulling me out of my thoughts. The bright white of my screen flashing on my pale face in the darkness of my living room can’t be doing me any favors.

“You need a drink, Val?” Jake, the other long-haired guitarist asks, raising an enticing drink in a short glass.

“Maybe a smoke? You are in California after all.” The shaggy-haired singer, Josh, teases.

I force a smile and shake my head. “I would kill for both of those right now. Just a fucking exhausting day.”

“I know, our girl’s makin’ it big, taking on new bands, new quests.” Jake states in a dramatic, faux-English accent. “On to new horizons.” His arm splays out theatrically to a non-existent skyline.

“Leavin’ us behind!” Sam adds loudly in a whiny tone as he takes a sip of his cocktail.

The last words shoving a sword into my gut. Maybe Nick isn’t the only loss I’m mourning. Working for Greta has consumed my entire life for years, they’re the closest thing to family I’ve got. Perhaps not being engulfed in them constantly has left me lonely.

I roll my eyes lightheartedly and shake my head, “I could never leave you guys, you know that.” Clearing my throat, I change the subject. “How are you guys feeling about the tour?”

Their excitement is infectious, and I find myself relaxing a bit as they talk about their plans and the cities they’ll visit. For a moment, I forget about Nick and the tangled mess of emotions he brings.

“Hey, Val!” Josh shouts, raising a glass snapping me out of my haze. “We’re going to miss you on this one!”

“Yeah, it won’t be the same without you,” The quiet drummer, Danny, chimes in.

I force a smile, trying to push the sadness aside. “I’ll miss you guys too. But I’ll be there in spirit, and we’ll keep in touch. You know I’ll be checking in every day.”

They laugh and raise their glasses in a toast, their contagious energy making it a little easier to breathe.

The boys filter out, saying their goodbyes to entertain the other guests at their party.

“Yeah, I’ll catch up to you guys later. I have to ask Vallie about something.” Sam waves the boys away.

He turns in his chair to face me, a look of concern washed over his face as he tucks a chunk of long hair behind his ear. “Are you okay? You seem a bit off?” He asks softly.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady my voice. "I'm fine, Sammy. Just a lot going on."

He looks at me for a long moment, his puppy-dog eyes filled with understanding. "You know you can talk to me, right? If you ever need anything. We're all going to miss you on this tour, but we understand why you can't come."

I nod, "I know. Thanks, Sam," I reply, with a tight smile. "I appreciate it."

Under other circumstances, I would maybe try to talk to them but they’re so excited for Europe, I can’t possibly weigh them down with anything serious.

He gives me a reassuring smile. "Take care of yourself, okay? And if you need to vent or anything, just call. We're all here for you, we love you a lot."

"Thanks," I say again, feeling a lump form in my throat. "I will. I love you guys too."

With one last nod, Sam ends the call, leaving me alone with my thoughts and letting reality crash back in. I close my laptop and lean back in my seat, staring at the other side of the vacant couch. The room feels emptier than before, the silence more suffocating. I can’t shake the feeling of being left behind, both professionally and personally.

I set my laptop on the coffee table and pull a blanket over my body in hopes that it would help me disappear. I curl up in the corner of the couch with my knees up to my chest. I haven’t felt heartache like this since high school and it’s over something that was never even serious. My mind keeps drifting back to Nick, to the hurt and anger in his eyes when I pushed him away. I know it was the right decision, but the pain is parasitic in a way I was never prepared for.

I blink at the blank wall in front of me. I’m not home, I’m not with friends or anyone I know. I work for a band that half hates me most days, I fell for a boy I can’t have and I’m staying in a pay-by-weekly Airbnb. I’m alone in a city I hate, in a home that’s not my own with people who barely like me. That’s when I realize that perhaps heartache isn’t the only pain that sits heavy in my heart – it’s also the weight of loneliness that’s been consuming me, rotting me from the inside out.

Only when I acknowledge the seclusion is when it wraps around me like a suffocating shroud, seeping into my very core and eroding my sense of self.

I close my eyes and let out a long, shaky sigh, trying to steady my racing thoughts. I have to keep moving forward, despite the overwhelming difficulty and the sadness in my bones. There’s a faint flicker of hope buried somewhere beneath the despair, a small, stubborn, workaholic part of me that refuses to give up. For now, I hold on to that glimmer, however faint, and vow to take things one step at a time.

This was the 4th rehearsal in a row that I’ve attended this week, and while it never gets old watching their sets, the content becomes repetitive. So, while the boys are playing and Bryan snaps shots of them, I scroll through Zillow.

I don’t even notice that they’re done until Nicholas is beside me cracking a water bottle open. “What’re you lookin’ at?” He asks. Slowly but surely, we’ve been making our way back up to being friendly, despite the break down I had weeks ago after the music video launch. If I just focus on the work, I can almost stifle down our history. Almost.

“Oh shit, you scared me.” I chuckle but it soon fades with the frustration that’s built up over the past couple days. “Augh, I have to find an apartment or something because this Airbnb is getting so expensive. My other client’s tour just started, and I just took on another band, so I’m stuck here for a while. But I can’t fucking find an apartment building that doesn’t have a waitlist before next fall.”

“Shit sucks around here.” Chimes in Jolly from the corner taking a sip of his Gatorade.

“Here let me see.” Nick swivels my laptop towards him before I have a chance to stop him. He holds his tongue between his lips with his brows furrowed, like he’s focused on some super spy mission. He scrolls for a while, adds some filters, scrolls, takes more filters out, then turns the laptop back to me. “Ta da!” He smiles his signature grin and it’s nice to see it in my direction again.

“Whoa, how the fuck did you find that!” My eyes nearly pop out of my head as I scroll through the listing, it having almost everything I was looking for. “Oh my god, they’re doing a showing for a perfect place right now, I gotta go.” I hastily begin packing my things up, haphazardly throwing all my scattered belongings into my tote.

“Whoa whoa,” Halts Jolly, “You’re not going alone.”

I furrow my brows at him, confused, “What do you mean?”

“Listen, do you know how unsafe it is for a woman to go to realty showings alone?” His voice is so filled with genuine concern and a splash of paranoia.

“You need to stop watching so much true crime dude.” Folio rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, he’s obsessed.” Bryan adds with a pointed thumb towards the long-haired man. 

I blink up at Jolly who’s face is dead serious. “We’re coming with you.”

I normally wouldn’t let men tell me what to do or how to do it, but maybe Jolly is right. Men are dangerous especially around here and I have also heard horror stories about women going to check out a house and it turning out to be a sketchy place with an equally creepy man.

“Okay.” I nod. “Fine.”

Looking over the four of them, I realize that Noah had already disappeared. He’s been cutting out immediately after each rehearsal, so I think nothing of it.

“I got nothing better to do.” Shrugs Nicholas. I don’t look too much at him because if I did, I would notice the strain behind his eyes - one that looks both pained and conflicted. 

Arriving at the open house, I walk around the small loft, letting my fingers trail over the cracked railing of the stairs. The apartment is smaller, dingier and dustier than advertised. When I make it upstairs, the 4 are up there already. I catch them looking unimpressed, almost disgusted at the place but immediately feign impression for my sake.

“It’s…pretty nice, Vallie.” Says Folio, with a forced smile.

“Oh, spare me, it’s a dump.” I sigh, defeated. “The asking price is like double with all the fees and shit. It’s ridiculous.” I rub two fingers into my temple. “I don’t know what I’m gonna fucking do.”

There’s a bit of silence filled with pitiful faces from the group. Nicholas’ eyes look focused but lost in thought. Before any of them could speak, Bryan perks up. 

“My old room in the house is empty since I moved out last year. Why doesn’t she just move in with you guys?” He suggests as if it’s the most obvious answer. 

My mouth nearly falls open at the insane suggestion. The trio’s focus snaps to him with the most shocked and betrayed looks on their faces, brows raised and jaws open. 

“What?” I ask for clarification, because he couldn’t possibly be serious.

Bryan ignores their reactions. “Exactly what I said. It just makes sense? You’re with them all the time.”

“I uh-“ I falter, somewhat overwhelmed with the four of them looking at me. “I mean, it really seems like that’s a group decision…”

“I’m cool with it.” Folio surprisingly speaks up first, “We do have the spare room and we could use the extra rent money. You take a lot of Ubers to get to us anyway, so.”

For once Folio seemed to be cooperative, nice even. Maybe they are warming up to me afterall.

Jolly sighs heavily, “They have good points. It would be convenient but… Noah’s not going to be happy.”

Anxiety wins over the excitement dying to bloom in my stomach as I look over and meet Nick’s gaze. His eyes contain the same pained and confused look as before. He’s conflicted.

“I couldn’t give less of a fuck about what Noah wants. He’s outnumbered 4-1.” Nick snaps. “She needs a place, and we have one.”

I tug at my lip and contemplate my options. This would be the easiest and cheapest path. “Okay fine. Just for now. I’m gonna keep looking so I don’t overstay my welcome.” I meet eyes with each one sternly. “Thank you.”

I’m grateful for the offer but I can’t help but be nervous about being so close to Nicholas all of the time. The room I’d be staying in is the empty room between Noah and Nicholas’ rooms. I’d be between the two I would least like to be around. I contemplate backing out for a brief moment but quickly remember how much the Airbnb is costing me weekly. As much as I value my independence and solitude, it’s just not worth the cost and isn’t sustainable. The last thing I ever want to do is live with them, but it seems to be the only good option right now.

A week later, the boys help carry the last of my boxes up the stairs while I warn them about how if they break anything they’ll be paying for it.

Nick, Jolly, and Folio are all out of breath as they set down my boxes.

“Jesus, how do you have so many boxes of stuff from that tiny Airbnb?” Folio asks, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

I shrug, “I had some of my stuff from home shipped out to me, since I’m staying in Cali longer than I expected.”

Jolly and Folio filter out leaving me alone with Nicholas. I’m immediately on my toes around him. Just being in the house with him is difficult. The only other two times I’ve been here, we’ve slept together - once on the couch downstairs and another in the room beside us now. It’s hard not thinking about having him that way again with those reminders all around me. The memories pack a punch not just in my core but in my heart as well. We’ve just started to get back to normal after our little falling out. But what even is back to normal with us? Were we ever really normal?

“Do you need help unpacking?” He asks though it doesn’t seem forced or ingenuine.

I ponder the offer as I shift on my feet but ultimately shake my head. “Not now. I don’t know if I’m going to fully unpack yet, since I’m still looking for another place.”

He nods, seeming somewhat unhappy about my response. “Okay well, if you need help with anything, let me know.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you.” I scratch my arm anxiously and pause before I speak again. “I feel bad… I know Noah’s unhappy because I’m here.”

Nicholas sucks in a breath. “Yeah, he’s not happy. But I don’t really know what else to say to him. Maybe you should talk to him.”

I let out a laugh. “Yeah fucking right. I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to talk to right now.”

“You never know. It might help.” He steps towards the door to leave. “I think we’re gonna order Chinese for dinner. You cool with that?”

I nod and he reciprocates before leaving the room downstairs. 

I take a deep breath and shake out the nerves from my hands as I walk to Noah’s door. I give it a knock and wait for a response.

“Come in.” He calls and I peek through the cracked door.

He rolls his eyes and glares at me. “Great, it’s you.”

“You know you don’t have to be like that.” I say calmly while I push the door open more and lean against the door frame.

He doesn’t even look at me and keeps his eyes on the TV across from his bed where he lays. His hands are diligently working on a gaming controller. I can’t help but notice how his long-tattooed fingers rapidly and strategically click on the buttons. Something about it creates a slight buzz between my legs.

“You just invited yourself into my home. I think I have some right to talk to you any way I want to.” He retorts.

“I didn’t invite myself; I was invited. By your bandmates, your best friends. But you know that already. You’re just being an asshole.”

“Again, this is my house. I can be an asshole in my house if I want to. This is what you signed up for. But you know that already.” He mocks me with my own words.

I try my best to keep my bubbling anger from spilling. We had been doing so well since the thrift store, but it seems that we’re back to square one all over again.

“I’m not trying to be here forever, alright? This is temporary. Like I want to be here any more than you want me to be. Believe it or not, this isn’t exactly a walk in the park for me either.” I sigh, trying to keep my composure. “I’m just trying to make the best of it while I’m here, okay? Can we agree to just be civil?”

He glares at me, but I know he knows that I’m right. “No promises.”

As I look around my new room, I suddenly feel closed in by the towers of boxes that surround me. I should’ve waited until after I signed some sort of apartment lease before having some of my stuff shipped from New York. I was just homesick for a place of my own again, that I wanted my belongings outside of what fits inside a couple carry-on suitcases. I’ve been living out of suitcases for longer than I’ve ever wanted and so maybe unpacking some of my clothes and things wouldn’t hurt much. Afterall, I could always just repack them. When I stand and find that some of the towers are even taller than me, I recognize that I might need help afterall. 

I find myself in front of Nick’s door and a nervous feeling swirls in my stomach that I try to ignore. 

This is a bad idea, I think to myself.

But it’s too late. My knuckles have already met the door. 

After a couple moments, Nick opens the door with a gaming headset pulled off his ear and a controller in his hand. It’s clear by the way his eyebrows drop that he was expecting anyone but me. The look is enough to make me back out of my own decision. 

“Oh, sorry to bother you, you’re obviously busy, nevermind!” I ramble quickly in a way I rarely do - but I rarely feel the way I do with him. Mid-turn to get back to my room he unexpectedly grasps my wrist, not hard but not soft either, enough to keep me in place. 

“What’s up?” He asks and I can’t tell if he’s annoyed or genuinely curious. 

“Oh, um, well, you see,” 

Fucking get it together 

“I was going to ask if I could take you up on your offer? To help me unpack?” I already regret the words before they leave my mouth. “But if you’re busy it’s no big deal!!” 

“I, uh, yeah. Sure. Let me just finish this round and I’ll come help.” He begins pulling his headset back on before I can fully answer.

“Oh, yeah sure. Take your time!” 

He closes his door, and I dart to my room, immediately pacing the small amount of floor I have available.

Why did I fucking do that?

“You okay?” His voice speaks from the doorway where he’s propped up against. 

I nearly jump out of my skin, not expecting him there so soon. It makes me wonder if he had just quit his game instead of finishing it like he said. 

“Oh, yeah yeah.” I wave him off. “I always get nervous with moves.” 

It was a lie. With my job, I’ve had to get used to moving often, so it doesn’t phase me any more. But with the shake in my voice, I know it wasn’t a great sell. 

“Right.” He replies skeptically, pushing himself off the frame. “What did you need help with?”

“I need that box up there.” I point to the box above my head. “And that one.” I gesture to the one right beside it at the same height. “And that one.”

He chuckles at how the boxes seem like skyscrapers to me, “Okay sure.” 

He pulls each one down with ease. 

“Anything else?” He asks. 

I sink down to the floor behind one of the large boxes. “I’m just gonna start unpacking these, if you wanna help.” I shrug up at him. 

Nick looks over at another box, grabbing something before handing it out to me. “I think you might need this.”

Blood rushes to my cheeks at the mistake, “Thank you.” I lift up and take the box cutter from him. 

I thought that would be the limit of his contribution but to my surprise, he sits down across from me. When I give him a confused look he simply jokes, “I’m really interested in what the fuck are in all these boxes.”

I bite down on my bottom lip to keep a grin from spreading across my lips. After our conversation at the music video shoot, this is the last thing I expected him to do. 

I’m still sat on the floor with half empty boxes while Nick acts as the fuel to the operation, putting things wherever I direct him. He slides a chunk of books into a bookshelf that was left behind. Books are always the first thing I like to unpack after the necessities. They're so personal and really give a space a real essence of you. I’m only unpacking my favorites to display for now since I don’t know how long my stay will be.

“You sure do have a lot of books about pirates?” He states quizzically, with an arched brow and a chuckle. 

“Oh,” I laugh, “Yeah, one of my clients really loves them for some reason.” I gesture to the books he just shelved. “I get one of those every Christmas. Those and a box of fancy cigars.”

His eyes look over the spines of the grandiose black leather books. “You’ve been with them a long time.” He observes each one, then looks over at me. “6 Christmases.” 

I blink up at him because there’s no way it’s been 6 years already. Logically, I knew I’ve accumulated a large stack of those books, but it isn’t until now that it clicks. “Wow. You’re right. I hadn’t thought about it like that.” 

“They’re lucky to have you.” He says, crouching down to get more books. “You’ve done so good for us so far, I can’t imagine what your main act gets.” 

The statement feels almost double edged, though it doesn’t seem that he intended it that way. It’s simple and meant to be flattering but it just settles a guilt in my bones. It sounds like he believes that Omens aren’t a priority, which isn’t true. 

“It’s not like that.” I scoff, handing him another set of non-pirate books.

“Oh sure, as if you don’t prioritize Harry Styles over us.” He shoots back playfully.

The Harry bit has gone so far that it makes me wonder if they truly believe it, it would be hilarious if they did. 

“You know I don’t manage him. Wish I did though.” I laugh, shaking my head. I grab another couple books and tug at my lip contemplating whether I should start some lighthearted competition. “You know… Noah guessed my ‘mystery client’.” 

A mischievous smirk blooms on my lips when Nick’s brows raise with an, “Oh did he now?” 

I nod, “Yep! Gonna have to step up your game I guess.” I shrug jokingly.

“Well, I’m either gonna have to go shake him down or,” He points to the room next door with the box cutter then looks at the mess around us. “Or I’m just gonna have to keep unpacking until I figure it out.” 

A giggle escapes me and a warmth blooms in my tummy. I hate that this is how my body reacts to him, but I quickly snuff it out. “I guess so.” 

As he continues to help me, the room overflows with laughter, and I can’t remember ever having fun unpacking. I try not to dwell on the way I feel when I look at him for too long. If I can just push aside the flutter in my chest when he crinkles his nose, or when he smiles wide and sparkles fill his eyes, or when he makes my name sound like music — if I can just move past all of that, then maybe living here won’t be so bad. Perhaps friendship with Nick wouldn’t be so difficult if it looks like this. 

The first week was awkward and uncomfortable and foreign, but the boys acclimated faster than I imagined - which, thinking about it now, made sense. They’d spent the better half of their lives being forced to live with random people for unforeseen periods of time. They just moved around me, and I moved around them, we all were on different schedules and busy doing other things better than paying attention to each other. Outside of rehearsals or meetings, I rarely saw them. The boys have an affinity for the nighttime while I’ve been operating on three different world clocks due to my other clients touring in different countries. 

I found that juggling three bands when I was barely managing two, was becoming quite taxing. I usually pride myself on my work ethic and multi-tasking skills, but it’s wearing on me in ways I’ve never experienced before. My sleep schedule is basically nonexistent, having to be awake for California, Europe, and Australia times simultaneously. I work between cat naps and run off of at least 4 cups of coffee daily. While work has been miserable, it’s definitely helped keep my mind distracted.

After a much-needed shower and a fresh set of button-down pajamas, I follow the smell of pizza downstairs. I find the boys gathered around the kitchen.

“Hey Val.” Folio smiles then falters, “You look fucking exhausted.” He shakes his head apologetically, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just - help yourself, there’s plenty. Noah can put away like three pies on his own.” He chuckles nervously, pushing past me to the living room. 

“Think of it as your belated welcome party.” Jolly says before taking a bite, leaning against the counter. 

“Thanks.” I smile but it doesn’t meet my eyes when I notice Nick remained silent and Noah’s absent.

Jolly nudges my shoulder as he walks out of the kitchen, “Noah’s picking out a movie for us, if you wanna join.” 

“Cool.” I nod, fidgeting with my fingers. As much as I’d love to protest wasting my time, all I need to do right now is sit and turn my brain off for an hour or two. 

“Can’t guarantee it’ll be any good if Noah’s picking.” He calls over his shoulder. 

“Hey!” Shouts Noah from the couch. 

The edges of my lips curl up slightly at the interaction but quickly fall. Even though it's been about a week, this is the first actual night of us all together. It’s only then that it settles in my bones the reality of the move.

I precariously pluck a slice from a half-eaten pie and plop it on a paper plate. “You uh,” I thumb over my shoulder. “Stayin’ for the movie?”

He pushes himself off the granite counter. “I was planning on it, yeah.” He peels another slice from the round and places it on his already full plate. He’s in a dark hoodie for a band I’ve never heard of with the sleeves pulled up to his elbows, showing off all the beautiful ink on his arms. I try not to let my eyes linger too long on the way his fingers fold the slice in half. “You?” 

I steal a water bottle from the fridge and lean against the counter. “Yeah, if he picks a good movie.” I tease. 

He nods and makes his way out of the kitchen. 

I shake my head to wake myself up some more and meet the rest of them in the living room. My feet are the first to freeze when my eyes land on the screen. Noah chose the same indie horror movie that Nick and I had chosen the night he stayed in with me. How he managed to find and decide on the same random movie we did, I’m not sure. What I am sure of is the way my heart feels like it fell into my stomach. My hand grips the plate, and my eyes instinctively search for Nick. His gaze meets mine, the look in his eyes about matches my own before he hardens it. His jaw clenches and he focuses back on finding his place on the couch. 

When I finally make my way over, I find there’s only one seat left between Noah and Nicholas. I take a silent but deep inhale before squeezing between them. The close proximity to Nicholas sends a familiar, anxious thrill through me, but I push it aside, trying to focus on the moment. We’re friends now. Colleagues. I have to keep reminding myself of that. We’ve only ever been colleagues.

“Alright, everyone shut up.” Noah waves a lanky arm around with the remote clutched in his hand. “Movie time!” 

Folio reaches up and flips the lights off to cast an eerie darkness across the room, perfect for the mood of the movie. As the opening credits roll, my heart drops sharply and makes the idea of the pizza on my plate nauseating. The memory hits me like a wave, threatening to pull me under. I can see it so clearly in my head - us sharing two different kinds of chips, Doritos and Cheetos. I can hear the storm that raged that night, the one that kept him from leaving. I remember vividly the conversation we had about having that team-building party. I can hear him promising that the boys would come around. I blink quickly to keep tears from spilling down my cheeks. The last thing I need is to cry in front of them. 

Noah nudges me with his elbow. “You okay? You look a little pale.” He asks with a smirk, teasing me as if I was already scared fifteen minutes into the movie. In the corner of my eye, I can see Nick glance over at us, trying to disguise the fact he’s obviously eavesdropping. 

“Yeah, just... tired.” I half-lie, giving him a weak smile while keeping my eyes on the tv.

“Sure, scaredy cat.” He laughs, returning his focus to the screen.

The movie continues, and I’m transported back to that rainy night. I wasn’t nervous that entire night until we were sitting criss-crossed next to each other watching this specific scene before the first jumpscare. The flutter of nerves didn’t find home in my belly until we both jolted at the perfectly timed jumpscare and our knees ended up pressed together for the rest of the night. I remember the way his hand brushed against mine, the way we laughed and screamed at all the right moments. Sitting here now, with him so close yet so far, is torture. 

As the film progresses, I can’t help but notice Nicholas shifting slightly in his seat. His arm brushes against mine, sending a jolt of electricity through me. I hope no one else notices my reaction. It’s jumpy and juvenile, the way we both try our best not to have any part of our body touching for too long. 

Halfway through the movie, a particularly frightening scene makes everyone scream and laugh at each other’s fear. Nicholas turns to me, and for a brief moment, our eyes meet. There’s a flicker of something in his gaze, something that tells me he remembers too. But then he looks away, and the moment vanishes.

The rest of the movie is a blur. I’m too focused on the memories, the emotions, and the painful reality that the past is just that—the past. When the credits finally roll, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and everything is suffocating and tight. 

Folio reaches up from his seat in the recliner and flicks the light back on. “Jesus fucking christ, Noah.”

“What the fuck.” Echoes Jolly.

Noah grins widely, obviously proud of his peculiar choice. “You’re welcome.” 

“It was great.” I rush the words out and quickly push myself off the couch. “I need to get some air. Excuse me.”

A cackle erupts from Noah, “Musta scared the shit out of her.” 

As I speed to the front door, I hear someone smack him with a pillow and Nick’s voice telling him not to be an ass.

I nearly burst through the front door and find salvation in gripping the porch railing. For a moment I question if I might actually get ill. Never in my adult life have I ever felt such visceral agony over another human being, nonetheless a man. The cool night air brings a welcome relief and finally I feel like I can suck in a full breath.

I squeeze my eyes shut when I hear the door open behind me and my heart races when Nick appears in my peripheral. Fuck. 

“Hey,” he says softly.

“Hey,” I reply, my voice almost trembling.

He pulls something from his pocket, flipping the top open and holding out a box of Newports to me. “Want one?” 

I sigh, contemplating it even though I haven't touched a cigarette since college, but god do I need it now. “Thanks.” I pluck a cig from the box and place it between my lips. I cup the end from the wind while he flicks the lighter for me. The second it’s sizzling and lit I take a much-needed deep inhale, letting the nicotine fill every gap in my lungs giving me a split second of reprieve. 

I close my eyes as I exhale, hoping the smoke would take the pain that sits in my chest. For a moment, we stand there in silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging between us. The sounds of the night filled the quiet, frogs croaking and far off traffic from the city. 

He steps closer, close enough that I can feel his warmth and the smoke of his cigarette. “I remember that night, you know.”

I pause, swallowing hard. “Me too.”

The ache in my chest is palpable, like it sits between each individual rib. I feel it in my bones, in my veins, in my fucking marrow. 

When I made the decision to distance myself, to hurt him, I thought it was the best decision for us all. I had no idea it would hurt this bad. It hardly seems like a good idea now. 

Every part of my body tenses up like a muscle throbbing in pain. My index and middle fingers involuntarily squish the cigarette, and my fists tighten. I have no reason to feel this way, I did this. 

“Val,” he says, his voice breaking through my turmoil. “We never really… talked.”

I bite my lip hard, the cigarette trembling between my fingers. “What’s there to talk about, Nick?” I can’t bear to look up at him. 

“Us, Vallie.” He says more sternly this time, turning to me fully. “You just shut me out. And I got upset so I walked away, but we didn’t talk about it.” 

Of course, the only man I fall for is the one that actually wants to talk about his feelings. 

“We made a choice, Nick.” I grind my teeth to ward off tears, keeping my gaze focused on a far off tree. 

He shakes his head, stepping even closer. “No, you made a choice. And I went along with it because I thought it was what you wanted. But standing here now like this… I can’t help but wonder if you made a mistake.”

I close my eyes and exhale. All I want to do is give in to him, tell him he’s right, that I did make a mistake. But my reasoning and logic remains the same. 

The words hang in the air, heavier than the smoke around us. I don’t dare look up at him, tears blurring my vision. “Maybe I did. But we can’t. And I told you,” I pause, giving myself one final second to rethink my decision. “I’m seeing someone.”

He snuffs his cigarette out on the wood railing then grasps my shoulder harshly, turning my body to face him. “If you’re going to lie to me, at least do it to my face.”

I drop my own cigarette from the sudden action, and he quickly stomps it out for me. My eyes widen at his words and his shift in demeanor. I blink up at him and shake my head. “I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are.” He takes a step forward causing me to step backwards, closing me into the porch railing. His hand finds my jaw holding it firmly in place, analyzing me with furrowed brows. It runs an ice-cold shiver down my spine. “I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in your voice.”

My chest rises and falls rapidly. “I am, seeing someone Nick. I’m happy.” I lie through my teeth even though it’s useless. 

“No, you’re not, Vallie.” His words are sharp and intentional. “Look at you.” He gestures over my body. “You’re shaking through a cigarette just because you’re standing next to me.” 

“God.” A tear slips down my cheek and I try to take a breath, but I feel even more suffocated than before. “Fuck, Nick.” I harshly push him away. I look between us and still for a moment before tears prickle my eyes. “I’m sorry, I can’t fucking do this.”

I rush past him, through the front door, and don’t stop running until I close my bedroom door behind me. I slump against it, sliding down until I’m sitting on the floor. The weight of everything crashes down on me, and I bury my face in my hands.

“FUCK,” I scream, the sound muffled by my palms to not be heard by anyone else. The tears come hard and fast, my shoulders shaking with each sob. I’ve never felt so vulnerable, so exposed. The pain is unbearable, and all I can do is cry.

Thankfully the boys had already gone to bed the night of me and Nick’s fight, so we didn’t have to answer any uncomfortable questions. I cried, got it out of my system, and isolated the emotions into a little folder I tucked into my heart, just as I did the last time. Although, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t getting more and more difficult. Two weeks later, I’m still avoiding Nick, but I don’t act like a scrambling mouse any time he enters the room. Tensions have calmed down and it’s impressive how much can be hidden behind a mask. 

Today, I’m tearing the kitchen apart looking for a measuring cup, how they’ve made it this far without a measuring cup, I have no idea. 

As I’m bent over into a lower cabinet, I spot Nicholas in my peripheral. Obviously, he’s the one I’d been avoiding the most but the feeling was mutual, us rarely interacting with each other after movie night. We barely spoke to each other during meetings and avoided each other around the house. 

“Looking for something?” He asks with a bit of condescension in his tone. 

The comment immediately irritates me as I’d been hungrily searching for this goddamn utensil for the past half hour and all I fucking want are pancakes on my day off. I bite my tongue in order to not snap at him and back out of the cabinet, standing up. “Would you happen to know where a girl could find a goddamn measuring cup around here?” My irritated tone greatly outweighed Nick’s more subtle one.

His brows raised, shocked that I’d even speak that way, nonetheless to him. His brows didn’t stay up though, they fell rather quickly into thick, straight lines. The way his face turned cold so quickly made me shiver with a fear crawling up my back. “I know you’re not speaking to me that way in my own house.” 

Immediately, I want to rival it but try my best to stifle it down. However, the feeling was too strong. “I know you aren’t talking to me like that, period.” Crossing my arms over my chest and raising a brow at him. 

He steps towards me, “With work? Sure, I can play nice. Outside of work? I can talk to you however I want.” 

My brows furrow at his sudden hostility. Even though we’d been avoiding each other, things have been calm and professional. He’s never spoken to me like this before and while I’m used to dealing with intimidating industry men on my own, the darkness in his tone has my heart thumping in fear. For the sake of my self-respect, I square my shoulders and straighten my back. “Don’t fucking talk to me like that.” 

“Or what?” He provokes, stepping even closer to me. “You work for us, remember? You’re nothing more than a glorified assistant.” 

My jaw practically drops to the floor and red-hot anger rushes through my veins. I hear the smack first, ringing through the kitchen before I feel the static-y stinging in my palm. I gasp and bring my hands to my mouth while I watch him quickly reach for his reddening cheek. I instinctively want to apologize but, he deserved it. 

When his eyes return to mine, they’re the darkest gray I’ve ever seen them and the fearful thumping in my chest returns. He steps forward, backing me into the corner of the cabinets and the air in my lungs vacates when I look up to find his eyes burning holes in my body. My eyes widen at the sudden, unexpected action. “Nick.” I tremble out in the space between us. 

“You think you can just move in and run shit.” He taunts, his voice low and gravelly. “Haven’t even been in the house a month and you’re already acting up.” 

The fight or flight response in my body begs me to cry, to apologize and shove him away but the burning lava in my bloodstream demands otherwise. I clench my jaw matching the intensity of his stare. “I’m an adult Nicholas, I can do whatever the fuck I want in the home I pay to live in.” 

His hands land on the granite countertop at each side of my hips. “You have one hell of a fucking attitude today.”

The energy shifts into something slightly less aggressive and more sensual. As much as it should disgust me after all the shit he just pulled, it has my thighs pressing together. 

I cock my head at him, and in a tone that borders on innocent, I challenge him, “Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?” 

His hand goes to touch my hip but stops short, stopping himself. We both know the lie I told him, but it seems like he might’ve actually believed it afterall. He lowered to just below my ear. “If I could, I’d make sure the only thing coming out of that bratty little mouth of yours are those pretty noises you make.” He whispers, his voice low and raspy.

His words went straight to my core, filling it with rampant buzzing. The war in my head waged between keeping up with my plan versus just giving into him like I always seem to do. However, it seemed as though the wetness pooling between my legs was winning.

I must’ve taken too long for him, long enough to crack his resolve just a bit. He pressed his forehead against mine, forcing my focus up to him. The look in his eyes had switched to something softer than before, if I didn’t know better, I’d say there was a hint of sadness in his crystal grey eyes. “Can I touch you?” He asks barely above a whisper and when I don’t answer immediately, he begs again. “I need to touch you, Val.” His voice carried what sounded like a deep desperation, and it all yanked at my heart - but guilt was a beast for a different time. 

Truth is, that I feel the same desperation as he does. I nod quickly against him, “Touch me.” I cave into him, like I always do. “Touch me, touch me, touch me.” I repeat softly before his lips clash into mine and his hands finally meet my hips, immediately pulling me onto the counter. As soon as the coolness of the granite meets my thighs, my eyes round at the realization that we’re in the kitchen. I pull away before he has a chance to deepen the kiss, “The others.” I breathe out urgently with wide eyes down at him.

He shakes his head quickly, “They’re out of the city for the day.” 

It could’ve been a bold face lie, but that’s all the reassurance I need to proceed on our poor decision. His tongue swipes across my bottom lip and I oblige faster than I’d like to admit. Our tongues find each other and begin to entwine themselves. He grasps my hips and pulls me to the edge of the counter to press himself against me. I can’t help but let out a tiny moan into his mouth at the feeling of his covered erection pressing into my clothed center. 

His hands trail up my sides to cup my cheeks before parting from me, “You feel what you do to me?” Soft but needy pants through parted lips fall on my own.

My heaving chest and my pathetic excuse for a nod was enough for him to rejoin our lips. I wrap my arms around his neck tugging him even closer. Our tongues fight for dominance but he’s winning, and his thumbs dig into my hip bones in an almost painful way, as if he’s scared I’ll vanish from his grasp. 

My fingers find their way into his hair that’s wrapped up in a loose bun and dig my nails into the roots, letting out a small sigh against his lips. He tastes like cigarettes and coffee in the best way.

I pull away for a moment and let my focus move from his lips back up to his eyes. My hands glide over the waistband of his jeans, dipping two fingers behind the zipper and pulling it towards my body. “I thought you had a lesson to teach me?”

A groan rumbles in the back of his throat as he processes my words. His fingers snap to my thighs, digging harshly into the flesh before spreading them apart as far as they’d allow. Warmth tinted my cheeks at the action, feeling exposed. I’m still clothed but now it’s just the thin fabric of my panties keeping the most intimate part of me covered. It’s not like it’s anything he hasn’t seen before, but it still feels vulnerable. 

“Tell me, what lesson do you think you need to learn?” He asks me while his fingertips urge my lower back to move further to the edge of the counter. 

“Hmm,” I feign thinking hard about the answer. “I think that you think it should be my mouth, but I don’t think that.”

“Oh, no?” He questions, “Is there anything you do that makes you think you deserve a lesson?”

“Nope.” I reply with cheery innocence. 

“That’s interesting, because you’re massively overdue for one.” He tugs my legs so close to him it almost pulls me off the counter. 

He leans down and presses a kiss just below my ear, then trails it down my neck. My heart beats so fast against my ribcage I fear it could burst. 

While his hands roam and grope anywhere they land, he’s buried in my neck sucking marks into it. “I’ve missed you.” He admits, mumbling against my skin and makes my heart rate skip a beat or two. 

I tilt my head back and scrunch my eyes closed. We shouldn’t be doing this in the first place, nonetheless, saying these sorts of things to each other, but it seems neither of us care enough to remember why. 

I tangle my fingers in his hair, giving it a gentle tug and nudging my head against his. “I’ve missed you too, Nicky.” 

He pauses the same way I did but this time he moves back up to rejoin our lips. 

There’s a couple words that linger in the back of my throat - words I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell him. Words that I’m not sure make sense for us or if they’re just the chemicals rushing through me. But I want to say them, and I’m scared that if I go to say anything at all they might tumble out. 

His hands find and tug at my shirt which I quickly pull away and discard it across the room. I take the opportunity to do the same with him. I catch the hem of his shirt, and he stills. I realize in the two times we’ve slept together, I’ve never seen him shirtless. That combined with the way he hesitated when I went to pull it off makes me think he might be uncomfortable. “May I?” 

He hesitates but nods and lets me be the one to pull it off him. He’s tattooed all over his chest just as he is on his arms, and it makes me want to go exploring all over his body. Our lips reunite and our tongues reconnect before I get a chance to compliment his appearance. I work quickly at undoing his jeans while he struggles to pull down my skirt.

Finally, bare to each other, he pulls me taut against him to make sure I can feel just how much he’s missed me. He nestles his thick shaft between my folds, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t missed that part of him too. I let a small whine slip into our kiss at the feeling of him throbbing against my clit. 

He disconnects from me only to press his forehead against mine, “I need to be inside you.” There’s a greater feeling behind his claim, more akin to ‘I need to be as close to you as possible’.

“I need you, please.” I reply, sounding more desperate than I would’ve liked. 

Now, not my brightest moment, letting him push his way inside me without more prep when I haven’t had him in so long. The stretch his girth brings is a delicious but brutal burn. He takes mercy on me by taking it slow and I feel every thick inch of him until he bottoms out, nuzzling the tip of his cock into my cervix.

“Fuck.” I breathe out, resting my head back on the cabinet. 

While it’s painful, it feels just like puzzle pieces reuniting, like he was made for me. He fills me completely, leaving no empty space.

He only stays stagnant for a short bit of time before he begins rutting into me. I remember how good he feels once adjusted to him. His head is tucked into the other side of my neck, littering it with more marks. He lets small grunts and groans tumble into my neck as he drills into me. With every thrust, his cock hits the bundle of nerves deep within my core and makes my skin burn. “God, you take me so fucking good.” He mutters beneath my ear and it makes me grip onto him tighter.

He detaches from my neck and unexpectedly places both hands on my cheeks, directing my gaze onto him. His hips slow but don’t halt as he forces me to focus on his stormy eyes. 

“Tell me it was a lie.” He demands, with a slight melancholic undertone.

I tilt my head a bit at the request, unsure of what he was referring to or why he’s bringing it up now. “What?”

“I know you lied to me, tell me it was a lie.” He pleads again, with more desperation this time. “Tell me there was no one else.” 

As I take a moment to process, he returns to his spot on my throat, pulling the skin of my neck between his teeth and one hand finding my swollen clit, rolling circles into it. My eyes widen at the feeling of both sensations at the same time, rapidly accelerating the proximity of my high. 

“Tell me you lied to me.” He repeats in a mumble beneath my ear. “Tell me there’s no one else. I need to hear it.”

My mind swirls between his words and the pleasure he’s giving me. It’s like some twisted tactic, that if he gets me so overwhelmed, I’d be forced to tell the truth - and it’s working. 

“I-“ I begin, going to ask how he ‘knows’ but I know I’m a terrible liar, especially to him. My peak rushes to where his fingertips meet my bundle of nerves and all I can think about is him. “I lied, Nick, I lied.” My fingernails dig into his back, and I squeeze my eyes shut, letting an ache wash through my chest.

I feel him smile against my skin and his speed picks up, ramming into my sweet spot over and over while working figure-8’s into my clit. 

“There’s only you.” I add, because I have nothing left to lose with the truth being out. “There’s only ever been you.”

He groans at the words and the way my walls involuntarily pulse around him. “Fuck.“ He grunts against my neck, his thrusts becoming erratic. “Fuck, I’m close. Cum with me?” 

I nod quickly as I’m on the precipice of my own high as well and ready to reach it with him. 

His thumb speeds up with the rolls of his hips pushing me over the edge. “Fuck I’m gonna, fuck,” Buzzing euphoria washes over me and blinds my vision as the coil in my belly snaps. It spreads burning heat across my body and only intensifies when I feel his cock twitch, spilling his hot release into the deepest part of me.

Our chests rise and fall quickly in time with each other and his breath brushes past my shoulder in short bursts. It feels so good to be so full of him.

Unexpectedly, he pulls back only to hold my face and pull me in for another kiss. This time, it’s sweet and soft and full of an emotion we haven’t spoken. Our tongues dance together but it’s slow and tender, the sort of kiss that bonds you and makes you feel safe. 

Once he detaches from me, his forehead presses into mine once more, meeting my eyes with his silver ones, this time having a faint blue hue. His thumbs brush along my cheekbones and his eyes dart across my face, “I don’t want to stop doing this, Vallie.” He whispers and it twists a knife in my chest.

I don’t want to stop either, I want to say. 

I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer. “Nick, we-”

“I know.” He says sadly, but with a slightly hopeful pitch. “The guys are coming around, nobody has to know but us five. I can wait, Val.” His voice pleads. “I can wait, I can wait until you’re ready, until we can. There’s something here, I know you feel it too, I can feel it. I just can’t do this anymore, it’s torture being around you.” His words accelerate as he speaks. “It takes everything in me not to touch you. I can’t be around you, let alone live with you and pretend that I don’t love you.” His eyes widen a bit at what he just blurted out. 

My own eyes round wide at him and my heart feels so full it could pop. “You… what?”

He closes his eyes, “I know that I shouldn’t.” His voice strained before meeting my gaze again. “But I do.” 

I blink up at him as he confirms the same words that have been swirling on the tip of my tongue. My hands slide down to hold his face. “I love you too, Nicholas.” I whisper in the space between us. 

“You do?” He asks, almost surprised though I can’t tell if it’s because I said it or because I mean it, maybe both.

“Yes. I love you, I love you,” My hands pull him closer as I repeat the words like a prayer; now that I’ve said them, I can’t stop. “I love you, I love you,” Before I can get to the fifth ‘I love you’ he wraps my legs around his hips and lifts me off the counter with him still inside me. He carries me into the living room and before I can question anything, we reach his intended destination. 

He lays me down on the couch - the same couch we got high on and ate Jolly Ranchers and ice cream. The couch where we first experienced each other’s bodies. It's not the couch where our love began but it is where it bloomed. 

Our lips rejoin immediately, getting swept up in our newly confessed love. I felt him hardening inside me again before we even left the kitchen. My arms wrap around his neck and my legs close in around his hips, trying to get him as close as possible.  

His hips begin to rut into me, gliding easily with his previous release still inside. It begins tender and slow but as with anything with Nick, it heats up quickly. He uses one hand to hook behind my knee pulling my hips up and closer to him and I let out a gasp at the new, deeper angle. His lips find my neck again, placing needy but tender open mouth kisses there. “I need you to feel how much I love you.”

My nails dig into his back at his words, “Fuck.” I moan out as his tip hits my g-spot directly in rapid succession with no reprieve. “Fuck, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He says softly against my neck, pressing a gentle kiss there. “God, you feel fucking amazing.” It was like once we gave in and admitted to our feelings, it amplified the sex tenfold.

My head feels like it’s spinning when I nod in agreeance, desperately, “You fill me up so good, baby.” I let the name slip in the cloud of pleasure.

“Fuck, call me that again.” He nearly growls and lands one hard thrust flush against my hips.

It made my heart swell, thankful that he liked it, then had my walls pulsing around him in the realization that he really liked it.

“I love your fucking cock, baby.” I repeat the petname.

“Yeah?” He smirks, against my skin, “You like the way I stretch you out, angel?”

I flutter my eyes closed, feeling so complete in our surrender to one another, like this was how we were meant to be with each other from the beginning. It’s overwhelming how all of our suppressed words and feelings were all crashing into us at once. We broke open the floodgates and we were drowning in each other.

“God yes.” I dig my nails deeper into his flesh, feeling the daunting size of him trying to split me in two.

“Fuck, you take me so fucking good.” He mumbles in a low voice, and I feel myself clench as much as I can around his girth like I need to keep him there forever. He groans at the feeling, “Oh, you’re gonna make me cum if you keep that up.” His hand frantically finds my clit again, beginning tight circles into it.

My breath hitches in my throat and my eyes widen, that being the only thing I needed to send me into my second orgasm. He’s not far behind with hard, staggered thrusts chasing his own high.

Our climaxes arrive rapidly with the passionate expression of our love. For the second time that day, we hit our peaks together in unison, letting the confessions of our love fill the room. 

He practically falls and melts into me as our chests heave in time with each other. After a bit his eyes look down at me, still hazy with lust, now mixed with love. “It’s not enough.” He says hastily.

My brows furrow at his words, lifting myself up to my elbows as he slowly makes his way down my body. “What do you mean?”

He lands at my hips, spreading my legs apart. “I said that I need you to feel how much I love you. Fucking you with my cock isn’t enough.”

Before I can protest or inquire, his head is dipped between my thighs and his tongue is latched to my already-overstimulated clit.

“Oh, no, no, no.” My hand flies into his hair as I shake my head quickly. “No, Nick, I can’t – oh – not again,” I hiss at his blatant disregard and try to squirm away. “Fuck – It’s too much.”

He groans against me and his hand grip onto my hips stiffly, keeping me locked in place. “Stay fucking still.” He growls the demand without pulling his mouth away, every word sending a vibration through my body.

Every move of his tongue is intentional in a specific pattern, if I didn’t know better, I’d wonder if he was actually spelling out ‘I love you’. Regardless of that being factual or not, it doesn’t matter because it feels like he was writing loveletters with his tongue.

Every flick and swirl, sends a jolt through my entire being. My movements beneath his mouth can only be described as thrashing as my center is flooded with stimulation it wasn’t ready to receive again. It’s heavenly but almost painful at the same time. “Slower, please.” I beg but it’s futile; once Nick’s determined on something, its hard to convince him otherwise.

I tug at the roots of his hair and wriggle as much as I can with him keeping me in place. I’d felt my high creeping up, but I didn’t expect it to crash into me out of nowhere. It hits me all at once, my hips buck into him and my grip on his hair must be painful, but he doesn’t falter, not for a second. Silent screams ghost my throat as pleasure rips through me, violently. His tongue continues to roll at the perfect speed in all the right patterns, dragging out my high into the longest one I’ve ever had.

He finally tapers off of me and looks up at me through my parted legs. “I could do that all fucking day.”

I deflate into the cushions with a sigh, my ears still ringing from the overwhelming pleasure that just possessed my entire being. He kisses up my body, reaching up and planting a chaste kiss to the side of my mouth. “Was that too much?” He questions in a whisper.

I shake my head lazily, out of breath. “Perfect.” Is all I can get out.

The edge of his lips curl into a smirk. “I knew it would be.” And places a prideful kiss to my shoulder.

Once cleaned up, we laid on the couch together with me cuddled into his side and my head on his chest. The silence around us is both comforting and nerve wracking. The air is thick with fragility, like if one of us moves or speaks our bubble will burst. 

As we lie there, the quiet moments stretch out, and I can feel his heartbeat steady under my ear. It’s a rhythm that grounds me, making everything else fade away. His fingers trace gentle patterns on my arm, and I close my eyes, savoring the warmth of his touch. There’s a comforting sense of relief in surrendering completely to each other, finally. I’m not sure what this all means for us, but it feels good to finally admit it outloud. 

We stay like that for the rest of the night, enveloped in a bubble of shared intimacy. The outside world, with all its complications and uncertainties, feels distant and unimportant. Right now, we are just two people who have found comfort in each other’s arms. The complex reality and fragile hope for what might come next hangs in the air, but for now, they don’t need to be addressed. The uncertainty still lingers, but it’s softened by the honesty we’ve shared today. Tomorrow will bring its own set of challenges and questions, but in this moment, I allow myself to simply be with him, wholly. All that matters is the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the soft whisper of our breaths mingling in the quiet room. It’s enough to simply be together, a luxury we’ve denied ourselves of for so long—to find solace in the closeness and love that has always been there, begging to be acknowledged from the beginning.

Taglist; @ladyveronikawrites @persuasivus @kingdomof-omens @strawberryruffilo @the-hell-i-overcame @cncohshit @dominuslunae @thebadchic @to-be-written @myownthoughts12 @measuredingold [comment if you'd like to be tagged?]

A/N; The love for this story is something I never expected and I am truly grateful for it. Sorry that this took so long or if it's not up to par. I would love to hear your thoughts and predictions 👀 Thank you SO much for reading 💗