#everyone has unresolved trauma and needs help

[jaiel]

AU based off this.

(Warning long)

Background info:

Danny and Billy met as heroes. Identity reveal and realizing they’re the same age (16) but have alter egos that are older. They eventually start dating.They get married in their adult forms for tax benefits and to keep them both from being homeless since Billy is bouncing from foster homes and Danny was on the run. Dan and Dani aren’t in the picture to make things easier on them for now.

They fight to handle their problems because Danny comes from a species where fighting is how you say hello and Billy is a magical greek champion and patron of magic. So their language of choice when words aren’t working is fighting. They both have healing factors and hormonal teenage boys so it’s not issues. Until the league takes notice.

Imagine Danny and Billy getting sat down for an intervention. The league is tired of them coming in injured. They think Danny is abusing Billy. They also don’t know about Danny’s real age. They think he’s an immortal posing as a teenage because of his appearances in history. Meanwhile Danny was just time traveling. He also still has unresolved trauma from a lot of things.

Billy snd Danny float in, in their respective hero identities to the whole league staring at them in the meeting room. Before they could fully process it snd turn on their heels and dip. Superman suddenly locked them into the meeting room and blocked the door. Danny and Billy look at each other.

“I think we’re in trouble..” Marvel stage whispers.

“Nooooooo I think they just wanna play Mario kart.” Danny sassily whispers back.

Marvel sighs figuring Danny was annoyed he made them use the tubes instead of flying up to the watch tower. In his defense, Batman had said it was important and he didn’t want Danny getting distracted by space and making them late AGAIN. He was taken out of his thoughts by Dinah and Diana walking towards them and gesturing to seats in the in front of the other leaguers.

“Phantom, Captain Marvel. We would appreciate if you sit and hear us out.” Diana said firmly. Giving little room for wiggle room.

“I told you we should’ve went to the moon first.” Danny grumbled already moving to the seats to sit and marvel followed suit.

“Good. We gathered you today because we are concerned about you two. We as a team….as a family have noticed some concerning behaviors over the past few months. We would like to share them with you. After we share we will allow you to respond. We are here to help.” Dinah said in her typical calm voice that she used for therapy.

In the corner of his eyes he could see Danny cross his arms and float ever so slightly above the chair. His deathly slow heart rate picking up ever so slightly.

“I’ve noticed since you’ve been married. Both of you have came to meetings and incidents already injured. Just last week Phantom had various bruising on his neck, a black eye and a broken leg when he came in to finish his reports. However there had been no incidents of crime on that day or reports.” Batman remarked squinting his eyes at Shazam.

“Marvel, you yourself have come in with broken ribs and other bones on multiple occasions. Even needing to sit out of missions a few times in the last couple of months.” Wonder Woman added shifting her gaze from Marvel to Danny. Oh so that’s what this is about. It should be an easy fix. Hopefully he could keep Danny calm enough for it to happen. He began to reach for the others hand when-

Screeching of a chair scrapping against the floor made everyone’s head turnt to Green Lantern.

“Ight since everyone’s to scared to say it. We know you’ve been beating on Marvel, PHANTOM! We know about your brawls at point Nemo and you both do a horrible job hiding your injuries. It’s outrageous that you claim to be a hero but beat on YOUR OWN HUSBAND!” Green lantern yelled accusingly floating into the air. There was a mixture of agreements and muttering. Some of the senior league members glaring daggers at GL. Clearly this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“Isn’t Marvel a little too young for you anyways?” The Flash muttered.

Before Marvel could say anything. There was an ice spike shot directly where the Flash had been sitting. Upon impact the spike had covered the chair. The Flash himself having dodged and stood staring at them offendedly. The air around them dropped until everyone’s breath began to show like vapor. He looked at Danny whose hands were shaking as ice formed around his chair.

“Phantom, my spookie, spook it’s okay. They’re just concerned. They don’t know.” Marvel said grabbing onto one of Danny’s hands snd wincing at how cold it was. He refused to let go until Danny met his eyes.

His head had been down as he hadn’t been making eye contact since the conversation started. Marvel should’ve known something was up when there wasn’t any banter or sass coming from him. Danny’s glowing green eyes had a white reflective slit in the middle. Like the reflective eyes of a cat and his face seemed to shift or glitch ever so slightly.

“I can’t do this again.” He whispered. Small tears could be seen. Evaporating off his pale skin. “I’m not a monster.”

“I know. You’re not a monster.” He said cupping Danny’s face in his hands.

Smiling as Danny leaned into his touch. A good sign that he wouldn’t try to impale anyone else. He could hear speaking in the background but he tried to ignore it and focus on Danny.

“Now if you could stop giving us all the cold shoulder I would appreciate it.”

His attempted at a joke worked when he got a small snort out of Danny. His eyes dimming slightly as the ice began to vaporize into the air.

“I know it’s a big step but I would appreciate if you follow my lead. I’ll do your chores for the next 3 months.” He prompted looking Danny in the eyes. Danny looked back at him searching his face. He knew that Danny had found what he was looking for when the other frowned deeply.

“The rest of the year.” Danny said with a straight face that left absolutely no room for arguments. Marvel signed.

“Fine.”

“Swear it!” Danny demanded as his voice reverberated as if multiple people were talking. He hated when he did that.

“Fine! I swear on the river Styx that I will do your chores for the rest of the year.” Marvel proclaimed loudly. He could hear Wonder Woman gasp at the mention of the river. He took Danny’s waiting hand as green fire enveloped them as they shook.

He then turned to the alarmed members of the league. Some shocked, some in battle stances, some in confusion but all staring at Phantom and Marvel.

Danny watched as Marvel said the magic words. “Shazam” and transformed back into Billy with the strike of mysterious lightning. Wearing his classic red hoodie, jeans and sneakers. He snickered silently kneeling they were wearing the same thing since Danny had just taken Billy’s clothes. Billy cleared his throat.

“Some of you know. Others don’t. I’m Billy Batson. I am Captain Mavrel. It seems we have a few misunderstandings we need to clear up.” He said trying to stand up straighter like when he’s trying to sound more mature.

“You have the floor Billy.” Batman states. Raising a hand to stop all sounds of objections and shock from other members.

“Thank you. I’ll state the facts clearly. Me and a Phantom are in a healthy relationship. Phantom is an appropriate age to be dating me. We appreciate your concern but your this intervention is unwarranted. I won’t speak for Danny but I take offense at you accusing him of mistreating me and accusations against his character.” He said becoming very sharp towards then end.

Where he glared at Green Lantern and The Flash. His fist clenched but he took a breath and calmed himself. He then turned to Phantom. Danny could see that it was his time to be included. Billy’s blue eyes were soft but the unspoken question of ‘do you trust me?’ Was all but spoken. Danny sighed and mustered his courage as he let the white rings envelop him and he got up to stand next to Billy. Quickly taking his hand.

“Would you like to introduce yourself? I can do it for you.” Billy turned his head to whisper in his ear. Danny shook his head and instead clenched Billy’s hand a little harder.

“My name is Daniel Fenton. Call me Danny but you know me as Phantom. I’m 16 snd a half ghost of the Infinite Realms.” Danny said as he let himself look over the shocked faces of the League.

“You expect us to believe you’re telling the truth? We have seen evidence of you throughout history.” Aquaman countered. “Some of us even have ran into you in our youth.”

“Aquaman I don’t sense any lies come from either of them. This meeting also wasn’t supposed to be accusatory.” Martian Manhunter spoke up. “We gathered to check on the well fare of both of our members.”

“Manhunter is right. We shouldn’t be throwing accusations. The league is founded on mutual trust and understanding.” Superman stood in.

Wonder Woman stood from where she had been sitting and walked towards the two boys. Billy moved forward to put space between her and Danny. She stopped in front of them and took the lasso off her hip. She held it out.

“Would you consent to the lasso of Truth? Simply to ease the minds of some of our more stubborn members.” She said mainly looking at Danny.

In a relationship, even a fake one, there will always be fights. Billy and Danny know this from experience. But they are only teenagers and sometimes can’t have calm conversations, although they try. Then they get the idea to fight in Point Nemo, where they can’t hurt anyone. After all, the fights take place in the forms of Captain Marvel and Phantom. Their fights are of very different nature. Who will take out the trash? Let’s fly to Point Nemo. Who will get Dan out of Gotham again? Point Nemo. Is someone offended? They will sort everything out in Point Nemo!

Aquaman senses that sometimes the ocean is not calm and the sea creatures are worried and scared. And when he arrives at the scene of the disturbance, he sees Marvel and Phantom fighting, figuring out who will wash the dishes today. Arthur does not know the reason and thinks that there is a fight between them, a pretty brutal fight, with blood, screams and all that. Let's just say he did not like it. And he told the rest of the League about it.

The League already doesn't like Phantom, and this is a great opportunity to throw even more stones at him.

[crabsnpersimmons]

New 'Do, Same You now on Ao3!!

it's here! my silly hairdresser AU that sparked from my silly page of doodles is now a fic!! i hope you'll give it a read!

In the mood for something new? Come on in for a new hairdo! Day or night, dusk or dawn, Find what you're looking for at the Shooting Star Salon!

EDIT: they're handing out coupons for the salon! 20% off all services! Not valid with other offers. Valid until end of January 2025. (some of them are drawn in crayon by Clip himself 🖍️)

[cyanidedrinkers]

I haven't posted something COD related in a while- Sooooo *Throws this in your face* I know a lot of people see Graves as this macho American who's cocky as shit and yes, He is and Americans are some bitchy mf (Except Graves, I love his bbg ass) But can we see another side too? Like, I wanna see Graves cry. I wanna see more shit on him breaking down and sobbing because a lot of men have unresolved trauma and are forced to be "Macho" and "Manly" Nah, Give me Graves crying after a mission over all the men and women he's lost Give me Graves not being able to keep it together long enough to write the "I regret to inform you" Letts back home Give me Graves who provides free counseling to all his soldiers and personally goes to all of their funerals and comforts their spouses and tells stories to their kids This man know each soldier inside in out and loves him like his own kids. Yes, He's loud and his confidence can be seen as cocky but fuck so are a lot of Americans and he has MAJOR big brother energy. I wanna see Graves say no to someone having shotgun because "No Oliver, Everytime you get the AUX cord you play some country shit. Give it to Violet, I want to hear some Taylor Swift" Yeah he'd probably do shots with them and no one would feel the need to sneak out because Graves is more than happy to throw them a party. Anything to keep them happy, He knows what their type of work does to a person. Graves has one of the lowest out of service su*cide rates out of any other faction and you can FIGHT me on this. He'll personally go to someone's house or sit on call with them for hours if they express not feeling so well and he makes sure everyone has a place to live already paid for. Graves knows he has money and he uses it to help others and give his Shadows a good life.

[iamgonnagetyouback]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀────۶ৎ snape's daddy issues

synopsis: snape was a bit rude to you today, so you tell barty about it, expecting a normal reaction. instead, he goes on a rant about snape’s daddy issues, completely convinced that’s the reason for everything. you haven’t even told him what snape said yet—but honestly, is he wrong? content warnings: barty being barty, snape slander, and reader dealing with barty’s nonsense (affectionately) inspired from: ♡

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᡣ𐭩 words.ᐟ 615

You leaned back against the worn stone wall of the dungeon corridor, glancing up at Barty with a soft sigh. "Snape was a bit rude to me today," you began, your voice light, almost nonchalant.

Barty didn’t miss a beat, cutting you off before you could elaborate. “Of course he was rude, love,” he said with a wild grin, leaning closer to you. “That man’s entire existence is a tragedy, starting with the fact that his father didn’t love him. He has to live with that reality every single day.”

You blinked. “What?”

Barty paced around you in a circle, throwing his hands up as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. “Think about it! Snape wakes up, looks in the mirror, and all he sees is the cold, empty void left behind by his father’s neglect. It’s no wonder he lashes out at people like you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to keep up. “I didn’t even tell you what he said—”

“And you don’t need to!” Barty interrupted, his voice rising as if he were performing for an audience. He waved his hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter what he said because whatever it was, I’m sure it’s fueled by decades of emotional starvation. Frankly, I get his father’s point of view. I mean, have you met Snape?”

You gaped at him. “Wait, you’re taking Snape’s father’s side in this?”

Barty stopped pacing, turning to face you with a look of pure exasperation, like you were the one missing the point. “Am I wrong? Just imagine having to deal with Snape every day. His father probably threw his hands up in defeat and decided, ‘You know what? I’m just going to emotionally distance myself from this whole situation.’ And honestly—” he shrugged dramatically, “��I can’t blame him.”

You stared at him, caught between laughter and disbelief. “But Barty, you don’t even know what Snape said to me. It might not have had anything to do with his daddy issues.”

Barty rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in that smug, slightly crazed way of his. “Of course it did. Everything about Snape screams unresolved childhood trauma. So go on, tell me what he said. I bet it’ll prove my point.”

You hesitated, feeling ridiculous now that you were actually about to recount it. “Well… he said my potion-making skills were ‘below average at best.’”

Barty let out a bark of laughter, throwing his head back. “Exactly! That’s classic Snape. He probably saw your potential and it reminded him of how his father probably told him he was worthless! It’s textbook projection.”

You stared at him incredulously. “Are you seriously analyzing Snape’s psyche right now?”

Barty smirked, stepping closer, and you could feel the electricity in his movements. “I’m just saying, love, if I had to grow up with that face and that hair—” he gestured wildly toward his own head, mimicking Snape’s greasy locks, “—I’d probably be rude to everyone too. It’s his only coping mechanism.”

You couldn’t help it. A laugh bubbled out of you, and Barty’s grin widened at the sound. “You’re insane, you know that?”

“Of course I am,” he said, pulling you into his arms with a dramatic twirl. “But I’m your brand of insane. So, should I hex Snape or continue psychoanalyzing him?”

You giggled, leaning into his embrace. “Let’s hold off on the hexing for now. But maybe next time he’s rude, we’ll revisit the idea.”

Barty looked down at you, eyes gleaming with mischief. “Deal.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “You really do have a flair for the dramatic.”

Barty smirked, dipping his head closer to yours. “Only for you, darling. Only for you.”

© iamgonnagetyouback ⋆.˚ please do not copy, translate, or repost any of my work.

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted, Chapter 1: Unarmed, Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: (For this part only) Following the events of CA:CW, Tony Stark has offered Steve Rogers an olive branch of sorts to bring The Avengers back together. You, CTO of Stark Industries and head of Innovation & Technology for the Avengers' Initiative, have your doubts, as you're not quite ready to forgive Captain America for ripping your family apart just yet. Steve had one condition, however, when agreeing to return to the team, one that's going to turn your life upside down and inside out: If he's coming back to join The Avengers, he's bringing his best friend, Bucky Barnes, with him.

Warnings: (For this part only) Language (obviously), minor mention of alcohol, I'm obviously on Team Tony during the CW; don't come for me, awful jokes, minor use of (Y/N). As always, if I missed any, please let me know.

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: Here's a little preview of Unwanted. In it's current form, it's standing at about 50k words, with about 25k still in editing, and I'm maybe about half done with writing the entire thing? I'm not going to lie, it starts out cute and fluffy, but it's gonna get real angsty and painful. Dear Reader has unresolved emotional trauma and Bucky doesn't understand the importance of boundaries in 21st century relationships. This piece has been my baby for several months now; I really hope ya'll enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you'd like to be added!) @blackhawkfanatic

"You're sure you're cool with this, Boss?" you asked Tony Stark, for what was probably the ten thousandth time in the last hour. The two of you were sitting by yourselves off in a corner of the common area of the Avengers Tower while the rest of your team congregated around the bar, eagerly anticipating the official return of Captain America to the Avengers. That, by itself, would be enough to warrant a gathering of Earth's mightiest heroes, but what had everyone in attendance talking was the fact that Steve Rogers wouldn't be returning alone.

Your billionaire employer sighed and swirled his glass of Laphroaig, the amber liquid sloshing along the sides of the tumbler. "I don't love it, Pocket, but it was Cap's only condition for coming back into the fold, and since Barton, Wilson, and Maximoff all went off the reservation with him, it seemed a small price to pay to get everyone back under one roof." He took a swig of his whiskey and smacked his lips.

You couldn't help but smile at his use of your nickname. Thor had inadvertently given it to you when you first met the God of Thunder years ago, remarking for everyone to hear that you were so small and tiny, he could tuck you into his pocket and abscond away with you to Asgard. Somehow, it stuck. You'd hated it at first; it had felt dismissive and condescending, which of course meant that it soon became the only thing the members of your team called you, but the more they used in their daily lives, the more you actually came to love it. It was a brand new, unique identity that came to embody the person you’d become, and the past you’d worked so hard to put behind you. You were more likely to answer to 'Pocket,' now, than you were your legal name, and you were grateful for it.

"Besides," Tony continued with a shrug, "if letting the Barnes thing go means we get the band back together, I'm willing to be the bigger person about it."

You stared at him, impressed. "Well look at you. When did you get so emotionally evolved?"

"Since Pepper told me I needed to start seeing a therapist or she’d leave me once and for all," he admitted to you with a cheeky wink; you both knew that, though Tony drove his partner, Pepper Potts, absolutely insane sometimes, she loved him far too much to ever walk away from him for good. That didn’t stop the threats, though. Lord knows he tried her patience. In your opinion, the woman was a saint.

Your eyes widened at the revelation and you let out a low whistle of appreciation. "You're going to therapy? Wow. Tony, That's amazing. I'm proud of you."

"Oh please," Tony scoffed, "I have much more important things to do than sit on a couch and spill my feelings. Besides, my secrets are too valuable to divulge to an actual human being. I just trained FRIDAY on therapeutic conversational datasets so she can handle all that psychological mumbo jumbo and then I paired that with BARF's augmented reality-- it's seriously the platinum standard in mental healthcare. No awkward silences or judgmental stares, just pure efficiency. You should try it; it’d do you wonders. And the best part? No copays."

You chuckled as you took a sip of your pineapple and Malibu. "Yeah, okay. That completely tracks for you," you told him with a smile. "So, what did Dr. FRIDAY tell you that got you to change your mind about the Barnes situation?"

Furrows appeared between Tony's eyebrows as he took another sip of whiskey to buy time for collecting his thoughts. There was still so much pain in him where Bucky Barnes was concerned. You'd worked for him in some capacity for nearly fifteen years and you'd never seen him as defeated as he'd been when he got off that Quinjet from Siberia. He'd been bloodied, battered and utterly broken, body and soul. Seeing him like that had shattered you, and you never wanted to live through something like that again.

Tony ran you through his experience with his therapeutic innovation, and you had to admit, it was impressive. The system had helped him realize that Bucky Barnes wasn't responsible for the heinous crimes Hydra had brainwashed him into completing, and so his anger over the death of his parents, while justified, had been misdirected.

"Once I processed that, it was a quick jump to realizing we can't be the best version of the Avengers if we only have half the team at home, and it's innocent people who would pay the price for it. So, when I reached out to Cap and he agreed to come back if I agreed to let him bring Barnes with him, well..." Tony trailed off, gesturing vaguely with his hand toward the where the rest of the team was waiting.

"So, you and Rogers are just, what? Good then? All water under the bridge?" you asked him, mild irritation clouding your voice.

"Oh, absolutely not." Tony took another sip of whiskey. "I can work with him again, and I'm glad to, but we're not going to be braiding each other's hair anytime soon."

"Good," you said, raising your glass in a mock toast to Tony. "I'm not quite ready to forgive him on your behalf just yet." Tony had essentially saved your life when you first met him, and he’d continued to support and guide your career to heights you could have never imagined. You'd started as a systems analyst and mechanical engineer at Stark Industries fresh out of college, and under Tony’s mentorship, it wasn’t long before you found yourself rising to the position of the company’s Chief Technical Officer, second in command only to Pepper, now that Tony had passed on the reins to her. All this happened long before he'd ever brought you in to work with him on the Avengers Initiative, and now you spent the majority of your time heading up their Technology and Innovation Department, as well.

Any kind of healthy respect you might have had for your boss had died out a long, long time ago, because Tony Stark  was Tony Stark, but now he was just Tony-- more like an annoying older brother you loved dearly,  whose name just happened to be on your paychecks. You owed him everything and that had earned him your unwavering loyalty. You'd follow him to hell and back again if he asked it of you, though he knew he’d never have to; you’d be paving the path there right alongside him.

The sound of laughter made its way across to you from the other side of the room and you felt warmth at the sound-- everyone, together again and happy. Just a few short months ago, you never would have been able to imagine the scene before you, not after the fight in Berlin and its brutal aftermath. You had thought for sure that this little family you'd found yourself in the middle of had been destroyed beyond repair.

So, you might have had your own reasons to be pissed at Steve Rogers.

"What's Barnes like?" you asked Tony. Having only ever glimpsed him from a distance, or from behind a computer monitor, you'd utilized all the resources at your disposal to dig up as much information on the Winter Soldier as possible, but even your skills hadn't been able to get you what simply didn't exist. "You know I don't like unknown quantities."

Tony seemed to think for a moment. "You mean, aside from being a brainwashed, murderous assassin?"

"Tony," you chastised. You knew that Barnes had spent a good deal of time in Wakanda before coming home to New York, working on having the words that triggered his homicidal alter-ego neutralized. Rogers may not always acted rationally when it came to making decisions about his oldest friend, but you were sure he wouldn’t be bringing Barnes back to the Tower if he posed a serious danger to the rest of you. Right?

"Fine," Tony said, with a typical exaggerated sigh. "Aside from being a former brainwashed, murderous assassin; better?" You rolled your eyes but nodded. "Don't really know, didn't care enough to ask. I'll be happy as long as he doesn't start murdering us all in our sleep. Cap vouches for him, so that counts for something. Maybe not as much as it did once upon a time, but something. But T’Challa seems to think he’s harmless enough now, so that’s good enough for me."

You nodded, taking another sip of your pineapple and Malibu, then leaned back, pensive. "Oh, God," you said after a moment of thought, sitting up in alarm. "You don't think it’s going to be like having an entire extra Rogers around, do you? All '40s morality and emotional repression? Because I am so over having him police my language." It wasn't that you had anything against Captain America as an Avenger, but there was only so much of the Boy Scout act you could take before you started getting nauseous. And okay, fine, you weren't too proud to admit it-- there was a not-so-small part of you that still hadn't forgiven him for what you saw as his blatant betrayal of Tony when he refused to sign the Accords. You'd promised to play nice, though, for the sake of your family, but your personal relationship with The Star-Spangled Man had taken heavy damage since Berlin.

Tony chuckled. "As if you'd ever let Cap's presence keep you from a good profanity. I should put out a swear jar. We could fund that crisis algorithm project of yours off your mouth alone."

"Fuck you, Tony," you uttered with a chuckle, fully aware that he had your number. You never met a four-letter word you didn’t fall immediately in love with.

"And look at that," Tony said with a smirk, "I just made another dollar. Hey FRIDAY, open up a new savings account and deposit a dollar into every time Pocket has a potty mouth."

"On it, Boss," the AI replied cheerfully.

You swore at Tony a few more times for good measure. "I fully intend to financially bleed you dry now, asshole."

"Oh no, I'm shaking in my custom Tom Ford's," Tony mockingly bemoaned, putting his feet, enclosed in the aforementioned ridiculously expensive loafers, up on the coffee table.

Raised voices from the other side of the room caught your attention. You stood up and craned your neck, trying to see what had caused the commotion. "I think they're here, Boss," you said.

"Alright," Tony said, standing up and putting an arm around your shoulder, "big smiles, kiddo. Remember, we're supposed to be happy about this." You suppressed a chuckle as you watched Rogers present Bucky Barnes to the rest of the team. Everyone was welcoming; you wouldn’t have expected any less, but as you watched their body language, the only word that came to mind was guarded. And you completely understood; The Winter Soldier’s reputation had preceded him, after all. There were hugs for Rogers, of course, but no one made any attempt to reach out to his friend.

Despite your overall annoyance with Rogers, you couldn't help but feel some degree of happiness for the giant oaf. When you'd been assigned on a mission with him (which happened fairly frequently, as he was so pathetically abysmal with anything having to do with technology) and ended up having to hole up in a safehouse for an extra couple of days while waiting for extraction, he'd started opening up to you about James Buchanan Barnes, and the reminiscing had made him so happy, you encouraged Steve to tell you everything about this Bucky. After that, the trouble was getting Rogers to stop telling his Bucky stories. If he wasn't sharing tales about growing up with his best friend during the Great Depression and all the absolute mischief they got into, he was sharing war stories of their time together with the Howling Commandos. He'd even shared his grief with you– how painful it had been to watch Barnes fall from that train and the guilt he carried for not being able to save him. He’d confessed to you once that, when he went into the ice, fully prepared to die, there was a part of him that was relieved to be reunited with Barnes in the next life, and waking up some 70 years later to a world where he was still alive but Bucky was still gone had broken his heart all over again. And yet, here they were– together in the next life, after all. If you were a different kind of person, you’d say it was a goddamn miracle. 

Because of the way Rogers described his best friend in those old stories, you were expecting Bucky Barnes to come swaggering along next to him, with a cocksure tilt to his head and a panty-dropping smirk playing along his lips, but the man who accompanied Steve was the furthest thing from that.

He shuffled behind Rogers slowly, looking at the floor and avoiding making eye contact with anyone else from the team. His hair hung long and limp, curtaining off his face as though it were a protective barrier. Though, if it was keeping him away from everyone else, or everyone else away from him, you couldn't be sure. He was much thinner than you'd anticipated, especially for a super soldier– though still extremely muscular, giving you the impression that it had been a long time since he'd let himself indulge in anything more than the bare minimum amount of calories he needed for survival. Tilting your head, you tried to steal a glance at his infamous metal arm, the thing of legends that had turned him from a run-of-the-mill assassin into the stuff of waking nightmares.

But the sleeve of his jacket hung limp, only empty space where the appendage should have been.

Curious. He'd come to Tony Stark's home unarmed. Your hand flew to your mouth to try and stop the uncontrollable snicker that broke loose at your own stupid joke. Tony elbowed you gently in the ribs to shut you up, and you hoped you were too far away and the others too distracted by Steve's introductions to notice you, but that thought flew right out the window when Bucky Barnes' head snapped up at the sound, his eyes locking onto yours from across the room.

"Holy shit," you breathed, knowing another dollar would go into Tony's digital swear jar, but damn if the man didn't have the most striking blue eyes you had ever seen. There were dark circles under them, and he looked incredibly tired, yeah, but they were beautiful. You didn't mean to stare, but you found you couldn't look away, either, and so the two of you were locked into some sort of impromptu staring contest. The longer you looked at him, the more you could sense an overwhelming sadness coming from him, as well as a level of wariness at being in a room full of strangers. It was almost overwhelming.

But then, just as suddenly as it began, the spell was broken. Blinking once, Bucky looked away and you felt the tension vanish from between you.

"What was that about?" Tony asked you in a low singsong voice.

"I have no idea," you answered, honestly. There had been so much pain and loneliness in his eyes. You'd seen eyes like that before, when you were younger and looked at your own reflection in the mirror following a scalding shower with your skin scrubbed raw and bloody. You suppressed a shiver.

Finally, Steve managed to disengage himself and Bucky from the other Avengers and began making his way toward you and Tony. Up close, you were struck by how tall Bucky was. He had to be at least a foot taller than you, if not more. And God, he was handsome. Granted, in a kind of heroin-chic sort of way, but still. A couple of good nights' sleep, a few good meals, some light personal grooming, and... well, there was a very good chance you were going to be in trouble once he got his shit together, that was for sure.

"And Buck," Steve was saying, drawing you out of your ogling, "This is our resident computer genius, Pocket (Y/L/N). You ever need help with anything technology-related, she's your girl."

"A bit of an over-simplified version, Rogers," you said, sticking your hand out to shake Bucky’s, "but yeah, that about covers it."

Bucky looked at you, then down at your hand, making no move to take it.

"What the hell kind of name is Pocket?" he asked, voice rough as though he hadn’t been using it a lot. Pulling your hand back, you shot him an annoyed glare.

"I don't know," you oozed back sarcastically. "What the hell kind of name is Bucky?"

"It's his nickname, Pocket," Steve supplied helpfully, though not without a trace of confusion. You gave him an annoyed, pointed look.

"No shit, Rogers." You turned back to Bucky and spoke slowly, as if to a child. "So, what do you think Pocket is, then?"

"Oh," said Bucky, catching on. The corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. "Gotcha; m'sorry about that. My manners are rusty from a severe lack of use."

You didn't mean it, but your mouth curved up into a hint of a smile, too. And then, almost as if you couldn't stop yourself from doing it, you found yourself saying "I see you've arrived unarmed."

There was a long, heavy beat of silence as Steve and Tony stared at you, mouths slightly agape, and you wondered if you'd made a critical error. You were just about to punch yourself in the face and claim you had a concussion and therefore couldn't be held responsible for what you said when Bucky burst into laughter.

It was the most beautiful sound you'd ever heard, and it was contagious. Through your own laughter, you risked a glance up at Steve. He was looking back and forth between you and Bucky, an indiscernible look in his eyes, and you couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since he'd heard his best friend laugh. Hell, you wondered how long it had been since Bucky Barnes had laughed at all.

"Pocket," Tony groaned, palming his face, "that was truly terrible, even for you."

"I'm sorry," you said, trying to catch your breath through your burst of giggles. "It just slipped out-- I couldn’t help it. You know once these things come into my head, they just bounce around in there until they fall out. I didn't mean it."

Steve smiled at you. "So that's what you were snickering at," he said, amused. Damn that enhanced super soldier hearing. Rogers didn't need to be so nosy with it.

You shrugged. "What can I say? Bad jokes are my superpower. Don't be jealous that all you got was super strength and a six pack, Rogers."

Bucky laughed again, then nudged Steve playfully with his elbow. "I like this one, Stevie," he said. "She's funny."

You weren't sure why, exactly, but something in Bucky's words turned your insides into a warm puddle of goo.

Oh, you were going to be in trouble, indeed.

Next Part ->

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

order in which the Smiling Critters refer to Angel as their parent, in my save everyone AU:

Dogday, by accident, while everyone is still inside. He's so embarassed by it, poor boy;

Bobby. After her rescue she hears Poppy referring to Angel as mother and goes "🥺 mom????????", and Angel just has to go with it because the majority of the toys are calling them either mom or dad by this point;

Craftycorn is next! She's very shy, VERY quietly asking Angel if she can call them dad because they helped her feel safe enough to sleep. After that she's SO HAPPY about finally having someone to take care of her!

After this, Dogday uses both mom and dad for Angel, without feeling embarrassed anymore:

Hoppy. Girlie is bedridden for the first month and Angel is always there for her, she's already all "I wish I could call them dad without it being weird" until she hears Dogday saying it. She's VERY protective of Angel and that becomes a bit worse because "THAT'S MY PARENT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT".

Kickin is all like "I appreciate the fact you're taking care of me but like Im independent, I lived through things you can only dream off, Im not calling you dad like Im a kid" and then 3 weeks of accidentally using both mom and dad for Angel later he's crying his eyes out as he finally just. Stops trying to play tough guy because he's now in a safe environment and can be vulnerable and safe.

Bubba doesn't see Angel as an actual parental figure until, much like Kickin, he realizes he's in a safe environment and Angel is his caretaker regardless of what may happen. Bubba is weirded out for some time because he's so used to never having someone looking out for him, and then Angel gently tells him to slow things down because he just had a burn out and needs to treat his mind because yes, he is traumatized, and Bubba. Straight up asks if they see him as not just a "kid" but their kid. And its complicated, but Angel agrees with the idea, and then Bubba warms up to the idea and stops calling them "sir/ma'am" and goes with "father/mother".

Picky is desperate to call Angel mom since day 1, but she feels SO guilty for seeing them like that because all the other critters are basically their kid, and who's Picky to interfere after she tried to eat some of them? And, okay, they accepted her apologies and they want to be her friends again, but should she insert herself into the little family just like that? Its Bubba who finally convinces her that she's not an intruder, and then she's all "mom, do you want to see how the garden is doing?" and is always so happy when Angel doesn't correct her.

Catnap. He has 13 layers of unresolved trauma and religious guilt, and for him to stop viewing Angel as his savior but as the only human he can trust Picky is already trying out baking a pie with Mommy Long Legs to celebrate Mother's Day with Angel. His relationship with the Prototype getting better and him finally calling him Father, alongside Dogday, Crafty and Bobby helping him stop feeling so guilty all the time is what helps the most, but he still views Angel as better than human because what else could forgive him? But when his relationship with Hoppy starts improving is when he, very hesitantly, starts thinking about calling Angel "Mother" (he already has a dad). When he finally tries that for the first time Angel lowkey is this close to crying, but they just give him a big hug. Catnap is also close to crying because he thinks he made a mistake at first, but Angel helps calm him down.

Unrelated but one time one of Angel's friends came over to visit and heard Catnap calling them "mother", and then later asked Angel if they had anything to do with Catnap's "father", because last thing they knew Catnap was having a catholic moment involving Angel and would NEVER think of them as a parent, right????? Angel's response was a simple "I know my family is weird but what the fuck, girl!". They still laugh about it to this day.

Also:

Dogday, Bobby, Crafty, Hoppy and Bubba use both mom and dad for Angel;

Kickin has a preference for calling them dad;

Picky has a preference for calling them mom;

Catnap refers to Angel EXCLUSIVELY as mom in order to avoid confusion.

Prototype refers to Angel as "the mother/father", "the caretaker" and "the parent", even when talking to the other toys. "Call the parent for that" is something he frequently says. For Catnap he says "call your mother".

[bellbery]

— Beneath the surface (Shuro x f!Reader)

Summary: Shuro wrestles with the painful memories of a lost love, Falin, whose death has left a wound he struggles to heal. As the group faces the perils of a dungeon, Shuro’s unresolved feelings clash with the present danger, straining his relationship with his current partner, who fears she will never be enough to fill the void Falin left behind. Just when emotions reach a breaking point, the sudden appearance of Falin’s ghostly figure— part human, part griffin— throws everything into chaos. Her presence feels both like a cruel illusion and a haunting reality, while harpies swoop down, forcing everyone into a desperate battle for survival. Amidst the chaos, past traumas, lingering love, and the fight for life collide, leaving the lovers teetering between heartbreak and danger.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Just Angsty :p might hurt you idk😭

🖋️ Author’s Note: Hello! I’m new to writing fictions, but since I kept rewatching the show I couldn’t help but think of an angsty story since Shuro did came back to the Dungeon to find Falin but- I HOPE ITS GOOD THIS IS SOOO LONG I GOT TOO MUCH INTO IT, and I’m thinking of Part 2 maybe if some yall would be interested :)) just comment if you want to e part of the tag list of this i series— enjoy reding!

After Laios confessed the harrowing ordeal his party had endured, Shuro stood frozen, his expression twisted with a mix of rage and disbelief. His Tachi blade hovered dangerously close to Laios’s neck, the tension thick in the air.

“Wow, how shameful. There’s nothing more despicable in this world than black magic,” Kabru remarked, his voice calm yet cutting. He directed a pointed gaze at Shuro, who was visibly trembling with frustration. “Was this person worth going to such lengths to revive?” Kabru’s words struck a nerve, causing Shuro’s grip on the blade to tighten. I stood nearby, feeling a chill creep through my veins. The conversation was like a storm brewing, and the weight in my chest grew unbearable. Kabru continued, his tone sharp, “It’s no wonder Shuro’s this angry about it. The dangers of bringing someone back to life using such a method outweigh the benefits.” His eyes flicked to me briefly, but I could tell his focus was on Shuro, watching him wrestle with emotions he barely contained. “For her sake, it would’ve been better if he had just let her—” “Enough!” Shuro’s voice cut through Kabru’s words like a blade, his tone desperate. He lowered his head, forcing himself to sheathe his Tachi, but I could see his hands shaking. He refused to meet my eyes, as if afraid that I might see the truth buried beneath the anger— something rawer, something that had always been there between us. “I get what you’re trying to say, but please don’t continue,” Shuro muttered, his voice breaking at the end, and my heart clenched in response. It hurt to see him like this, torn between his duty and the lingering shadow of his past. It hurt even more to know that a part of him had never really let go of her, not even after all this time, after all we had shared.

I intervened to break the suffocating tension, my voice trembling slightly as I spoke, “Let’s have a meal first. Senshi and I prepared something to help restore your strength.” I offered a reassuring smile, though it felt strained against the weight of despair looming over us. Shuro’s eyes flicked to me for just a moment, and in that instant, I saw a flicker of something perhaps gratitude, or maybe just the pain of being pulled in two directions. But the moment passed quickly, and he looked away again, returning to his internal struggle. “Food won’t change what happened,” he said quietly, the anger ebbing from his voice, replaced by a deep, aching sorrow that tugged at my heart. “It won’t erase the past,” I replied softly, “but we need to eat to stay strong for what’s ahead.” My voice wavered, and I felt the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. The thought of him still haunted by her, the one who had claimed his heart long before I had ever entered the picture, twisted like a dagger in my chest. “Do you think I can just forget?” Shuro snapped suddenly, his frustration boiling over again. “Do you think a meal can fix what’s broken?” The accusation hung in the air, heavy with unspoken pain. “No, but we have to keep moving,” I replied, struggling to keep my voice steady. “We can’t let the past consume us. Not when we have each other.”

His gaze finally met mine, and for a fleeting moment, I hoped to see understanding, but all I found was an abyss of confusion and unresolved feelings. The silence stretched between us, a chasm filled with unsaid words and unhealed wounds. It felt like the distance between us had grown insurmountable, and I didn’t know how to bridge that gap. “Please, let’s just eat,” I urged, my voice barely above a whisper. “For Falin. For all of us.” I could feel the tears threatening to spill, the weight of my own insecurities clawing at my heart. Shuro hesitated, and in that hesitation, I saw the battle raging within him. It was a struggle between duty, love, and the suffocating weight of his past— a battle that felt all too familiar. Finally, he nodded, though it felt like a hollow victory. As we gathered for the meal, the atmosphere was thick with unspoken tension. The food was spread before us, a distraction from the heartache that lingered in the air. But even as we began to eat, I could feel the unrelenting truth between us: he would always carry the memory of her, and I would always be the one left to wonder if I could ever truly fill that void.

“Maizuru.” I stood up, trying to shake off the heaviness that had settled over us. “I will camp around a bit with Asebi to check for danger.” “But Young Master won’t agree—” Maizuru’s voice was hesitant, concern etched on her face. “I want to be alone,” I insisted, cutting her off. The words came out sharper than intended, but I needed space to breathe, to process the chaos swirling inside me. I could feel Shuro’s eyes on me, a weight of unspoken questions and unhealed wounds hanging in the air between us.

As I stepped away from the fire, I felt the chill of the dungeon creeping in, but it was nothing compared to the chill in my heart. Each step away from the group felt like a retreat into the darkness that had enveloped our lives since Falin’s death. I had been trying so hard to support Shuro, to be there for him as he wrestled with his feelings, but it was becoming too much. Asebi, my loyal companion, trotted beside me, sensing my distress. “You okay?” she asked, her voice low and gentle. “I’m fine,” I replied, though the tremor in my voice betrayed me. “I just need some time to think.” As we walked, I could still hear the muted sounds of the others eating, the occasional laughter from Senshi, who always tried to lighten the mood. But their joy felt like a distant echo, a world apart from the turmoil in my chest. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was fighting a losing battle against Shuro’s past.

We found a secluded spot, shielded from the flickering firelight, and I sat down heavily on a rock, feeling the cool surface against my skin. Asebi settled beside me, her presence comforting yet bittersweet. I took a deep breath, willing myself to gather my thoughts, to understand what I was feeling. “Why does it hurt so much?” I whispered, more to myself than to her. “Why can’t I just be enough for him?” Asebi nuzzled against my side, and I absentmindedly reached down to stroke her fur. “He’s still in love with her, isn’t he?” I asked, my voice breaking. “And I’m just… here.” There was a heavy silence, and I felt the tears begin to spill, hot and stinging. I wiped my face with my sleeve, anger mixing with the pain. It wasn’t fair. I had fought for this love, fought against the darkness surrounding us, but now it felt like I was fighting against a ghost.

What if I never measured up? What if I was just a replacement in his eyes?

“Y/N?” Shuro’s voice broke through my thoughts, deep and tentative, and my heart raced at the sound of it. I didn’t want to face him right now, didn’t want to unravel in front of him. But it was too late; he was already there, standing a few feet away, his silhouette framed by the dim light of the campfire behind him “Go back,” I said, my voice cold and unyielding, betraying none of the vulnerability that surged within me. “I just need some space.” “I can’t do that,” he replied, his tone steady but laced with something darker worry, perhaps, or an unwillingness to let me slip away. “We need to talk. You’re not alone in this.” “Not alone?” I scoffed, bitterness dripping from my words. “You may not be physically alone, but you are emotionally miles away. How can I compete with someone who’s already etched into your heart? Someone you were never able to let go of?” The silence that followed was deafening, stretching between us like an unbridgeable chasm. I could see the conflict in his eyes, the way he wanted to reach out, to comfort me, but hesitated, trapped by the weight of his past.

A sudden creature zoomed in, almost capturing me, and I instinctively ducked, narrowly avoiding its talons as it swept past. The air crackled with danger, and I felt adrenaline surge through my veins. I glanced up just in time to see the Harpy’s grotesque form swoop around, its wings outstretched and eyes locked onto me with predatory intent.

“Y/N!” Shuro shouted, his voice sharp with urgency as he moved to stand protectively in front of me. “Get back!” My heart raced as I scrambled to my feet, Asebi growling low beside me. The harpy circled back, screeching with a chilling sound that echoed through the darkness. Its claws glinted ominously in the dim light, and I could feel the fear tightening around my chest. “Stay close,” Shuro instructed, his hand instinctively reaching for his Tachi. But in the back of my mind, the unresolved tension between us hung like a storm cloud, waiting to burst. “Shuro, wait!” I called out, desperation creeping into my voice as the harpy dived again. “You can’t let your anger take over. We need to focus! But he was already moving, his blade drawn and poised. The conflict in his eyes was still there, shadowed by the rush of battle. With every flick of his wrist, I saw glimpses of the past the burden of his unresolved feelings, the lingering ghosts of what once was.

Suddenly, I saw another harpy swooping toward me, and in a moment of instinct, I shoved Shuro aside to avoid getting caught in its claws. “Warn the others!” I yelled as I narrowly dodged the second harpy, adrenaline coursing through my veins. “Y/N, no!” Shuro shouted, his voice filled with panic as he rushed to regain his footing, anger flaring once again. But I couldn't afford to think about his feelings right now; I had to survive. The sudden shift in the air as I was flung away sent my heart racing. My body collided roughly with the cold, uneven surface of a rooftop, knocking the breath from my lungs. But it wasn’t the pain that froze me in place it was what I saw next.

Just beyond the shadowed edge of the roof stood Falin.

Her figure was illuminated by the pale light of the moon, her skin glowing with an ethereal radiance. Her expression was just as I remembered—gentle, yet tinged with a sorrowful depth in her eyes. Half of her body had transformed into that of a griffin, red dragon scales glinting under the moonlight, a long tail sweeping behind her. My mind struggled to comprehend it. She was supposed to be gone, just a memory, a shadow that lingered in Shuro’s heart. Yet here she was, standing before me, as real as the frigid night air.

“Falin?” I whispered, my voice barely a breath, steeped in disbelief. My legs trembled beneath me, the ache in my chest growing tighter. This had to be a cruel trick, a mirage spun by the dungeon. But her presence felt real just as Shuro had described her, never fully forgotten, never truly at rest. Beside her, harpies cackled and screeched, their feathers ruffling as their sharp claws gleamed in the moonlight. They took flight, swooping toward the group below. Panic shot through me, snapping me back to the present danger. “Everyone, look out!” I shouted, my voice cutting through the night as I watched the creatures dive toward my friends.

As the harpies descended with terrifying speed and Falin’s haunting gaze locked onto Shuro, I felt the weight of unresolved pasts pressing down on us, signaling that our greatest challenges were yet to unfold. The story was far from over…

🖋️ Author’s Note: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING MY FIRST FIC, and please like, reblog and comment for feedbacks or any critique so i could improve better :> THANJ YOU SO MUCH

[maxdibert]

While you’re at it, with the pros and cons of dating; can you also give out few opinions on examples of what said characters’ type is? Like, what kind of woman/man meets their standards? What characteristics should one have?

I truly believe that in the case of Lily and James, it’s quite clear why they were a genuinely compatible couple. I mean, Lily is a means for James to publicly reaffirm his political stance by marrying someone socially inferior, thus proving that he "isn’t like the other rich people," not to mention he didn’t just choose any socially inferior woman, but a beautiful, successful, and socially popular one. In other words, someone he could present in society. Similarly, James reaffirms Lily’s need to feel part of a society that excludes her because of her origins, in a way validating her by a member of the elite of that society who rejects her, and by association, gaining a place in it. They both care about their social image, both like to be the life of the party, and both give off the vibes of enjoying the fact that others have a great image of them because, in a way, their self-esteem relies on how others perceive them. So I totally bet they complement each other as a couple.

As for Sirius, I’ve always said that if he can’t be with James, who is basically the great obsession (ahem, love ahem) of his life, then he’d probably end up with some pure-blood witch from a very good, rich family. Because let’s be honest, Sirius didn’t obsess over just any guy, he obsessed over a guy from the same social class as him, rich like him, popular like him, an equal. Sirius is the type of person who would sleep with Muggle-borns or even Muggles just to piss off his mother, and he’d even bring them home to annoy Walburga. But when it comes down to it, if he really had to settle down, and if he can’t settle down with his beloved James because the world made him straight, then he’d seek out a pure-blood girl from a good family whose environment isn’t necessarily against blood purity but also isn’t supportive of it—maybe neutral—and who probably has the same shitty personality as his mother because Sirius has serious mommy issues and probably needs a push-and-pull dynamic similar to what he had with Walburga. I know a lot of people won’t agree with this, but I don’t care because my therapist would tell me I’m totally right lol.

Remus... Well, I don’t know. A person who wouldn’t get pregnant by him? Honestly, I want Remus about 10,000 km away from anyone, because everyone deserves someone in a relationship who isn’t a coward and won’t run away at the first sign of trouble. But, above all, they deserve someone who doesn’t need a teenager to lecture them into doing what any person with common sense would do without even thinking about it. I really wouldn’t wish a Remus as a partner on anyone. Well, maybe on my worst enemy, but that’s it.

And Peter... I think Peter would be happy with someone who could help him climb socially, gain status, and be feared. Probably someone who would take control of the relationship and whom he could admire and feel very proud to have been chosen by. Peter sought recognition through association because he was incapable of getting it on his own, so he’d probably go for someone who could guarantee him that social recognition.

Then there’s Severus, who as I’ve said many times, would probably be with someone who could deal with the multiple traumas he has but, above all, with his awful personality. Because Severus has a terrible temperament and zero anger management. Being with Severus means you have a partner who will certainly be loyal and won’t betray your trust, someone who will be there for you when you need them, but also someone with a lot of unresolved issues that can make him explode at any moment when he feels threatened or triggered, and that’s very difficult to handle. And like I said in another post about this specific topic a few weeks ago, he doesn’t need someone who acts like his mother or nurse and takes care of him like he’s a sick, invalid person, but someone with the guts to stand up to him and tell him to fuck off when it’s necessary, because the reality is that Severus responds best and realizes his mistakes when they’re shoved in his face. I’ve always thought he’d do well with someone who also had their own issues because that way it’d be easier for there to be mutual understanding. But this is very brief; I talked at length about this in another post a couple of weeks ago. This is the very short version, but I hope it’s enough.

[purpleheartskies]

Robby's mental health in s6 part 2 

Also titled: Robby is the underdog - Part 9, The start of The Resurrection stage in Robby's Hero's Journey

A lot of disappointment wrt Robby's story in s6 part 2 has been around his behavior, lack of focus, and losses. However, with his so many unresolved traumas, the addition of new traumas in part 2, and the lack of a proper support system, Robby's mental health has continued to decline. Robby's underdog story is about his poor mental health, which contrasts the typical Karate Kid underdog trope of having poor physical strength or karate skills. As I've talked about at length, Robby's Hero’s Journey is about finding balance by starting to cope with his traumas in a healthy way and developing a healthy relationship with himself.

Given that part 2 is the start of the Resurrection stage of his Journey, it's important to note that this stage is going to be Robby's final "battle" in the story. This battle is going to be his biggest one yet and with the most stakes. Robby's battles aren't just against his karate rivals/opponents. His battles are also against his poor mental health and how he copes with his traumas. After all, his poor mental health makes him the underdog in this story:

"This fight is not about him. The biggest battle is always the one within. Okay, concentrate, defense, focus, power. You find your balance, and those points will come. All right?"

In part 2, Robby started going down the path that he didn’t want to go down. He drank for the first time to cope with his traumas and poor mental health. He also fought using his anger in his match with Kwon and didn't fight with balance. (I'll talk about these more below.) In s4e4, Silver told Robby that to become a champion, he would have to face his fear. Later, Robby admitted to Johnny that Robby’s fear is that he would end up like Johnny. In s5e5, Robby "let go" of his anger, because of his fawn trauma response, and in doing so believed that he’d found balance. That was the ending of his Ordeal stage, at which he obtained his "want" (a relationship with Johnny) while unknowingly giving up his "need" (finding balance and developing a healthy relationship with himself). In s6e5, it was shown that Robby hasn’t found balance, nor does he have a healthy relationship with himself ("It's still better than always coming in second"). He doesn’t believe in himself or his future. He’s also still fawning (self-abandoning), and in part 2 his mental health continued to worsen due to various reasons. Robby is close now to the moment in his Hero's Journey that his "resurrection" will take place. He will have an internal "death and rebirth". He's going to have to make important decisions wrt himself, his future, his relationships, and the people around him. He must choose his "need" over his "want" in order to succeed in his Journey.  

In ATLA, during his Ordeal at the end of book 2, Zuko chose his want (going home, his "destiny") over his need (standing against his father, helping end the war). In CK, at the end of his Ordeal in s5e5, Robby "chose" his want (a relationship with Johnny and everyone) over his need (believing in himself and who he is). Characters oftentimes do choose their wants over their needs during their Ordeals. When Zuko did so during his Ordeal, it was a total backslide. He had a choice at that moment, and he chose wrong. (This all literally took place in a cave! The Ordeal takes place in the "inmost cave" in the Hero's Journey. For Robby in CK, that cave was metaphorical.) When Robby made his "choice" at the end of his Ordeal (the baby news scene), it was a total backslide. He gave up who he is entirely. (This was a subconscious, defense mechanism.) Neither Zuko nor Robby could find inner peace. Zuko was shown discontent and silently grappling with his decision. Robby's mental health (his self-worth, his self-blame) is shown to have worsened, and he's become more off-balance since.

In this post, I'm going to talk about Robby's traumas, mental health, and behavior in s6 part 2 and how those were affected by other characters (primarily Tory, Miguel, Zara, and Kwon). To start, I'll revisit the state of his mental health at the end of part 1.

Robby's mental health has continued to worsen since s5

(You can read about the Robby's traumas and the impact on his mental health from s1 to s6 part 1 in these posts: The Neglect of Robby Keene (s1-s5), The college essay scene (s6 part 1), and "Second place, second place" (s6 part 1))

In s6e5, it's shown that Robby still doesn’t believe in himself or his future. However, Tory encouraged him that he could win the tournament. To do that, he had to first win the captaincy match. For the first time since the s1 tournament, Robby's flashbacks were shown: He keeps coming in second place, and it's eating him up inside. Miguel then tried to gaslight Robby that Miguel's future matters more, but Robby didn't back down. 

During the captain's match, Robby struggled at first because he couldn't focus. Tory wasn’t there, and no one there was supporting him specifically. Johnny and Sam both stood on Miguel's side. Miguel quickly scored two points on him. Then, Tory arrived. Robby gained his focus and was able to score on Miguel, coming back from 0-2 to win 3-2. Robby, who is usually perceptive of others' emotional states, didn't even notice Tory's emotional state. Robby at the time was struggling so much with his own trauma and mental health (and relief that he'd won despite his struggles) that he simply wasn't that aware or perceptive of Tory's state. It was after she started fighting more aggressively that he started to notice it. 

Tory: "Sorry I was late." Robby: "You came just in time."

Robby's behavior in this scene fit his state of mind at the time. Like how s5e1/2 showed Robby fawning with Johnny before Robby starting fawning completely in s5e5, s6e5 showed how deteriorated Robby's mental health was going into part 2.

Robby and Tory’s relationship in part 2

As frustrating and disappointing as it is, Robby’s part 2 arc (like his previous season arcs) is all about how poor his mental health is because of his lack of stable, genuine support and new traumas that he experienced. Tory had shown him that support in s6e5, but her behavior in part 2 also affected Robby’s mental health greatly.

It goes without saying that in part 2 Robby’s and Tory’s mental healths were at their worst. I’ll be primarily focusing this section on Robby’s mental health when it comes to his relationship with Tory, but I’ll talk about Tory’s mental health a bit first.

Tory’s mental health obviously worsened because of her mother’s death. She also didn’t believe she’d get a fair chance at Miyagi-Do to become captain, which she needed assurance of because she needs the benefits from winning the tournaments. Although she had shown up at the captain’s match in s6e5, Daniel stopping the match and then Johnny egging her on that she wouldn’t get a fair chance really made her believe Kreese’s words about her not being given a fair chance at Miyagi-Do. She had joined Cobra Kai knowing that she had the captain’s spot there. She has also never been against Cobra Kai in general. She was specifically against Silver in s5, which she had clearly stated. She also told Robby in s6e1 that Miyagi-Do is against everything she’d been taught. Tory had made her decision to ensure she was a captain.

After s5, I said that the biggest issue in Robby and Tory's relationship is their communication. This continued in s6. In s6e5, after her mother died, Tory didn’t answer Robby’s calls. After the captaincy match was cancelled and Johnny made things worse, she left the dojo saying she was done. Although there is no context given for what happened between Tory leaving the Miyagi-Do dojo in part 1 and when they all arrived at the tournament, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that Robby probably tried to get in touch with her but she likely didn’t respond, like the day her mom had died. (I’ve seen criticism that Robby didn’t go to Tory’s home. However, in s6e1, it sounded like Robby hadn’t gone to Kenny’s home to speak with him either and had only tried to call and text him. But, since Kenny was at the arcade, Robby decided to try in person. Given Robby’s characterization, I took this as Robby respecting their boundaries. If Tory has never invited him to her home, he likely would not go.) Tory continued to behave this way after arriving at the tournament. According to the timeline, it was soon after the captaincy matches that they had left for the tournament. (From what I’ve seen mentioned, the date on Daniel’s phone in one scene in part 2 is a continuity error. That date is the day they had filmed the scene; not the date in canon.)

Robby tried to talk to Tory in the lobby, but she purposely ignored him and walked right past him. During the captain’s pictures, he smiled at her but she didn’t smile back and turned away. Then, he approached her in the aquarium while she was alone. He asked her if she planned on avoiding him the whole tournament. She claimed no, and then said that she didn’t know what he wanted her to say. She had purposely been avoiding him—a defensive mechanism called stonewalling (characterized by behaviors such as refusing to respond to texts or phone calls, abruptly cutting people off and ending conversations, ignoring others outright, etc.). Robby and Tory did end up having a somewhat proper conversation until Sam showed up some feet away, watching and listening to them. When Tory noticed Sam, Tory ended the conversation and walked away. Robby understood why when he turned and saw Sam there. (I didn’t like that Sam came and stood there and listened in on them. Robby and Tory are dating, and it’s not Sam’s place.)

Following this, Tory purposely put Robby in a situation that caused him issues with the others. In s6e5, she had told Robby not to tell anyone about Kreese approaching her because the others wouldn’t trust her. She obviously hadn’t told Robby all the details of her conversation with Kreese because, in this conversation in s6e6, Robby implicitly asked her if her joining CK as their female captain was why Kreese had approached her. Later, when Sam approached her to talk, Tory threw Robby under the bus and said that she had told him about Kreese coming to her. However, she had earlier admitted to Robby that she hadn’t told him why Kreese had come to her because she knew that he would try to stop her. Later in s6e6, when Robby came to Tory at night, Tory told him that she would just be making things harder for him if the others knew he came to talk to her. Well, she had already made things harder for him when she purposely told Sam that Robby knew about Kreese. It has made me wonder if Tory was purposely sabotaging their relationship because she then used this reason and the tournament as her excuse to put them on a pause. It’s also important to note that Tory hadn’t cared about them being in a relationship in s6e5 when they had first made their deal to be on the podium together. But now Tory decided for both of them that being on a pause would be best. She repeated Kim’s words to Robby about owning her decision to be there and what’s best for them is what’s best for their dojos. Tory then told him that it’s best for both of them and to trust her. He rightly pointed out that she doesn’t trust him or anyone. She didn’t respond and got a contemplative expression, which indicated that she doesn’t trust him, so he walked away. Her behavior with him up until that point had already indicated this. Her behavior after this conversation continued to indicate this.

Tory’s mother had died, but she shut Robby out. Like he had told her, he would have been there for her. Tory’s and Robby’s traumas have resulted in both of them having insecure attachment styles. Robby tends more towards an anxious style (characterized by traits such as feeling unworthy of love, fear of abandonment/rejection, and difficulty trusting others), while Tory tends more to an avoidant style (characterized by traits such as strong sense of independence, difficulty trusting others, being uncomfortable expressing feelings, and being dismissive of others). They were already prone to these styles when they first started dating. For example, in s2, Robby hid the truth about medal of honor because he had felt insecure, and Tory went no contact with Miguel after witnessing him cheat on her. Robby’s and Tory’s traumas have worsened by this point, and this has made their relationship more unhealthy. 

Robby was unhappy but was understanding of her decision to join Cobra Kai when he came to speak to her that night in s6e6 and wanted to stay a couple. However, Tory just wanted to focus on her own goals. Tory has always put herself and her own goals above their relationship. Tbf, in s5, Robby had put his need to distance himself from Cobra Kai above their relationship too. That had been in s5e4, before Robby had started fawning. (And, as I talked about earlier, Robby’s mental health has been in further decline due to this trauma response because of his situation with Johnny and the Diazs.) At the time, Tory had been hiding staying in Cobra Kai and working with Kreese, which had been the first instance of her choosing Kreese and Cobra Kai over Robby. Joining Kreese and Cobra Kai for this tournament is the second instance.

It's important to note that she claimed it was best for them, but she was really only doing it for herself. Some say that Robby didn't understand Tory's request for a pause or that he shouldn't be against her wanting one. However, he did understand, but she didn't ask it just for herself. She specifically said that it would be best for both of them and that he should trust her, although she is one who had gone no contact and joined Kreese behind Robby’s back. At that point, she was trying to control their relationship. She didn't care for his feelings and decided to dictate what was best for him too. She then followed that with telling him to trust her. He countered with the fact that she doesn't trust anyone else including him. She didn't deny that, so he walked away. After this point, she has no right to get angry with him about their relationship. She can't under any circumstances dictate what is best for him while also dismissing his feelings and not trusting him. She doesn’t trust him but wants him to blindly trust her yet again. Tory became yet another person who tried to dictate to Robby what was best for him while dismissing and disregarding how he feels and asking for his trust (while not trusting him in return), like Johnny does with Robby repeatedly and like Daniel did when he claimed to be helping Robby wrt to the school fight. Tory reignited those wounds for him. 

(gif on left) Robby was upset and trying the process when she first said that they should focus on karate while they're there and that she needs to own decision to be there. He asked if that means a break up and she said it's a pause. He had the same expression on his face. (gif on right) She then said that it's the best for both of them. His expression after she said this had a noticeable bit of anger.

Having grief is not an excuse to treat someone like they or their feelings don't matter or like you can dictate what is best for them. The same goes for when someone has trauma. Johnny, Daniel, and Sam have all treated Robby as if his feelings don't matter and what they want is best not just for them but for him too. 

There are two more instances that I want to bring up in which Tory continued to make their relationship solely about herself and her feelings. Before I go over these, I want to mention again that he did acknowledge to Sam that Tory had put them on a break. After Robby believed that Tory had started hooking up with Kwon, then Robby also believed that she’d actually broken up with him. 

One incident is in s6e9 after Tory confronted Robby about Zara. Robby defended himself by saying that Tory had broken up with him. Tory then said that she had said a pause and not sleep with their enemies. Robby then called her out for hooking up with Kwon and that being okay. She then told him that his "dumbass got played". Tory insulting Robby like that is pretty messed up. She had refused to have a proper conversation with him and refused to trust him with what she was going through, but she wanted him to fully trust her decision as being best for both of them, although she had kept her choice of joining Kreese and Cobra Kai a secret and kept stonewalling him. He had still respected her decision to want to go on a break. Her not caring at all about his feelings makes the relationship more one-sided than it should be… and a lot like his relationships with the other characters. Tory had made that decision to solely benefit herself. Robby isn’t entitled to Tory, but Tory also isn’t entitled to Robby or to make decisions for what’s best for him. She needs to realize this.

The second incident was while Robby tried to talk to her in the lobby. Robby tried to give her a proper apology and explain his side of the story, but she shut him down. She then started talking about herself and her feelings. So again, it was all about her and her goals. Her mom had died, but she had made her own choice to join Cobra Kai. Robby had kept trying to talk to her but she had been stonewalling him. Tory expected him to feel sorry for her after Cobra Kai lost and got knocked out of the tournament. I am curious if, going into the match, she had expected that Miyagi-Do would lose that match. It was going to be either her team or Robby’s team that would advance to the next round. She would have justified it to herself, and no doubt to Robby too, if she'd helped Cobra Kai knock Miyagi-Do out of the tournament because that would have meant she would advance to the next round and have her chance at the podium. That in turn would have meant that Robby would have lost his chance at the podium. When she'd started that match, she'd been angry with Robby about Zara, so she went into that matching with the intention of winning and knocking him out of the tournament. Again, she can't expect to him to wait around, blindly trust her, be okay with her keeping major secrets (like Kreese's offer), and do whatever she says is best for him, while she focuses on achieving her goals. In a way, I'm happy that he did get the win against Cobra Kai in this regard. He didn’t put her or their relationship above his own future and goals of beating Cobra Kai (and Kwon, specifically) and having a chance at the podium.

I think that someone wanting to go on a “pause/break” is understandable. But expecting the other person to wait around is unfair to them, especially after that someone dismisses what the other person has to say, dismisses their feelings, and dictates to them what is best for them. Just make it a clean break. It's the other person’s choice if they don’t want to see anyone else while they wait for the “pause/break” to be over. Like I said, Robby is not entitled to Tory, but Tory is also not entitled to Robby. In a way, Tory had decided to string Robby along and wanted him to be okay with that. In s5, Sam had been upset in the moment after seeing Miguel kiss that other girl. However, Sam had been okay with it in general after that. Miguel had been the one who kept bringing it up, wanting her to be upset about him kissing that other girl, and gaslighting her about Tory, which is Miguel's go-to method to tear/wear Sam down.

Robby’s abandonment and rejection trauma

A huge part of Robby’s poor mental health is his abandonment and rejection trauma. In s6e5, his “second place” scene wasn’t just about karate but about his life and relationships as well. Remember, finding balance also isn’t just about karate but about life as well. However, Robby’s poor mental health acts as his internal Shadow and as an internal Threshold Guardian in this Hero’s Journey.

Parental rejection, general childhood rejection, social rejection by peers, and other forms of abandonment can cause rejection trauma—a form of complex trauma resulting from abuse and neglect that can cause a fear of rejection… Childhood abuse and neglect… can leave people at risk for rejection trauma. A person might also experience poorer mental health and rejection sensitivity due to perceived rejection, longstanding emotional pain, or instances of romantic rejection that trigger abandonment fears.

During the matches in s6e7, when Robby lost focus/balance, he was triggered; as in, he was having a trauma response. When you’re triggered, you don't think. You feel. It hits you hard and overwhelms you.

Robby was experiencing “freeze” trauma responses. It's not about Tory specifically, but about his trauma from abandonment/rejection hitting him. He has no control over these responses.

Wrt Tory, this trauma was so new. It was also a confusing situation for him. On the one hand, she is the only person who believes in him. On the other hand, she essentially rejected him by not trusting him and by putting them on break, telling him what's best for him while dismissing how he feels and not hearing him out. Her behavior made the relationship unstable/unsafe. Like how Robby can’t predict Johnny’s, Miguel’s, Daniel’s, etc behaviors with him, Robby also can’t predict Tory’s behavior with him now too. This wasn’t the first time that she had chosen Kreese and Cobra Kai over him and their relationship and had kept it a secret. Both times, he had found out in some way that didn’t involve her directly telling him.

It’s striking that in s6e5, Robby seeing Tory at the match caused him to gain balance because he was able to find the strength to believe in himself due to her belief in him. Whereas, in s6e6/7, Robby seeing Tory triggered him and caused him to freeze up. In s1e10, when Robby looked at Johnny during the avt match with Hawk, Robby lost focus too, but in a different way. Back then, Robby’s traumas weren't as bad as they are now due to all of his experiences since then.  In s4, Robby also had a freeze response when he looked at Kenny during the match with Hawk. (That's Robby losing focus in both of his matches with Hawk at a tournament). At the time, Robby was already feeling remorse over his match with Kenny and his decision to have Kenny join Cobra Kai with him. Of course, at that point, Robby was already dealing with the trauma of the school fight and other related traumas, such as everyone abandoning, rejecting, and scapegoating him because of it.

Freeze responses can occur "when the situation confronting you overwhelms your coping capacities and leaves you paralyzed in fear."

Robby is constantly in survival mode due to his fawn response around those closest to him. He was already living in survival mode before s5e5 because of his unstable home life (including not even having a home at times) and unpredictable, neglectful parents hif whole life. His mental health has gotten to a point now where his coping mechanisms are overwhelmed.

In the ongoing life and development of the trauma survivor, the freeze response can continue to emerge in response to the perception of threat, with the brain and body moving into a state of high alert (e.g. heart racing, sweating, breathing accelerated) when triggered. However, when observed, the individual might appear shut-down or withdrawn. This generally occurs in the survivor in response to a trigger that is reminiscent of past traumatic experiences. 

Clearly, Robby lacks focus in general, which is why he wasn’t able to fight as properly in s6e5 until Tory showed up. She had become the only person to believe in him. In his matches in s6e7, he would start out somewhat balanced, but would freeze up when he looked at Tory. The bullying and scapegoating by the others was not helpful either. In s6e8, he even commented that she wasn’t affected at all by being on a break and she was fighting better than ever. He was upset because of her initial rejection (not trusting him and suddenly putting them on a break) and was so frustrated with himself because of his freeze responses, that he had started thinking about drinking.

It’s not that Robby’s story with Johnny, the Diazs, and the LaRussos has been replaced with his relationship with Tory as the main focus of his story. It’s that Robby’s relationship with Tory is being used to explore and show how Robby’s situations with Johnny, the Diazs, and the LaRussos have been affecting his mental health. He is suffering in silence. He is not accepted by them for who he is. He has had to change himself and people-please, putting aside all of his justified issues with them, in order to be accepted by them. He had to self-abandon and put them first. He is still not trusted by them, is still scapegoated by them, and is still not genuinely wanted by them. This has all resulted in his abandonment/rejection trauma worsening and his insecure attachment style due to all of his childhood trauma and the other traumas he’s experienced worsening too. Robby is so overwhelmed with trauma, stress, and anxiety that he is now experiencing triggers and freeze responses more frequently due to this new trauma from Tory’s behavior with him. 

Notice that Robby was showing the same signs of anxiety when he went to speak to Tory that night in s6e6, as he showed when he spoke with Daniel in s3e2 and when he went to speak with Johnny in s4e10. He couldn’t sleep so he went to speak with her. 

In s3e2, Robby starting fidgeting with his fingers when Daniel showed up. In s4e10, Robby was tapping his fingers on his legs as he walked into the dojo to talk to Johnny. In s6e6, Robby couldn't sleep so we went to talk to Tory. When she opened the door, he was standing there fidgeting with his hands.

Of course, Robby is constantly filled with anxiety. He’s in a family, friends group, dojo, and environments that are constantly reinforcing his abandonment and rejection trauma. He still has no genuine, consistent support system, not even one adult. The people around him will not only take away their support without notice. They will also invalidate, scapegoat, and/or bully him, depending on the person and on the circumstance. He has to fawn in order to survive. He’s also worried about his future and sees no prospects for it, other than by winning the tournament. By s6e8, he was failing at that too now.

In s6e7, when Daniel found Johnny packing, Johnny told Daniel that he told Miguel about Carmen. But, Johnny made no mention of Robby. Johnny told Daniel to tell the others. That means Johnny himself didn’t tell Robby and wasn't planning on telling Robby about what was going on. Johnny left Robby out. In s6e8, when Robby wondered how Carmen was doing and asked Sam if she'd spoken to Miguel before he left, it seemed as if Miguel hadn’t spoken to Robby either before leaving. Robby has always been an outsider in this family, and behaviors like this continue to send Robby the message that he is an outsider in this family. (As a juxtaposition, the hospital scenes also reinforced this, as I talk about in my post about the family in part 2.) This added to Robby's abandonment/rejection trauma. 

It was after all this that he told Sam that he wanted to drink. She reminded him that he doesn’t drink, and he said that maybe he should start. He then brought up that Tory put them on a break and that she wasn’t even affected by it, that she was fighting better than ever. Like I’ve mentioned before, Robby had mentioned wanting to drink because of his counter-dependence. He had wanted Sam to stop him. Sam then told him that they shouldn’t let Tory get into their heads like that. Right after Sam said this, Tory walked in with Kwon. Sam immediately left, and Robby eventually ended up at the bar. He ordered his first drink after seeing Kwon put his arm around Tory. Robby turned his head away, and that’s when Tory shoved Kwon away, which Robby didn’t see. A little later, Robby was still glancing over at them. Tory decided to leave because of that. Kwon noticed and went and taunted Robby, telling him that he’d keep her warm that night. Robby stood up and was slightly unsteady on his feet. Kwon taunted him more, and Robby looked like he couldn’t focus enough to put words together. Kwon then left. Robby sat down and unsteadily picked up his drink. Zara then approached him, as if she’d been watching him.

Although Tory's behavior of stonewalling Robby played a huge role in him believing that she had broken up with him and moved onto Kwon (essentially abandoning and replacing him like some of the others have), it should be said that Robby’s belief that Tory had moved on from him and replaced him so quickly was also rooted in Robby’s low self-worth and his belief that he is unlovable. His own father had abandoned him and then replaced him with another kid. In s5, his father had even abused him to prioritize that other kid. Those two had just ditched Robby again, as they went home in an emergency (that also affected Robby because the baby is his sister too) and didn’t even talk to Robby before leaving. In fact, in juxtaposition to Robby drinking because of his trauma, Robby’s father called that random kid his son after that random kid had complained that Johnny was “disregarding” him and called Robby “messed up”, which Robby doesn’t know about. This contrast matches the juxtaposition of the “Johnny chooses Miguel over Robby” storyline throughout the story. 

In addition, Sam had abandoned and replaced Robby with Miguel after the school fight, after having used and cheated on him. It also stood out to me that Sam started telling Robby about all the plans that Sam and Miguel had made for Barcelona. When Sam talked those plans to Robby, I couldn’t help but think how tone deaf of her it was. She has never even taken accountability with Robby nor admit Miguel’s faults in their rivalry. Sam still continues to disappoint in this regard. It also sticks out then that she did leave immediately after Tory walked in, although Robby had admitted to Sam that he was going to drink for the first time because he was so upset. I’ve said before that counter-dependence is hard to interpret, so I understand her not realizing he was hoping she would stop him. Overall, though, it does seem like she’s just his friend at a surface level and still doesn’t understand him. In s6e6, twice she questioned his loyalty: right after they found out that Tory had joined Cobra Kai and when she announced to everyone that Robby had known that Kreese had come to Tory, without even talking to Robby first. Meanwhile, she continues to overlook her past and present acts of disloyalty to him. (Continuing to scapegoat Robby for the school fight and acting like Miguel's past actions towards Robby never happened are disloyal.)

For Robby, all of these abandonment/rejection traumas were compounding. This situation in the bar was the combination of Johnny rushing off with Miguel, without even telling Robby as if he doesn’t exist and as if wasn’t his baby sister too, and Sam sitting and talking about her romantic plans with Miguel, as if she and Robby didn’t have the unresolved history that they have. Robby was also already upset that Tory didn’t care at all about their "break", as in her not having his support didn’t affect her at all. Robby was also performing really poorly in his matches because his mental health was affecting him. Because of all this, Robby was already thinking about drinking. So, after Tory walked in with Kwon, she continued to stonewall Robby, and Kwon later put his arm around Tory, Robby wasn’t in a good mindset at all and was pretty immersed in his own trauma, self-hate, and low/non-existent self-worth. Robby decided to take this first drink.

In s3, Robby told Hawk that Robby doesn't need to drink to pretend to be cool. Robby grew up with alcoholic parents. He never wanted to drink because he didn’t want to end up like them. But, now, he took his first drink to cope and forget, just like his parents do (or did, in his mother’s case). As I mentioned in another post, Robby being SA’d after he drank and got drunk for the first time is a dark irony. This is also something that may/likely have happened to his mother (more than once) before she had gone to rehab.

Miguel is still Robby’s bully and foil

In part 2, Robby continued to check with Miguel that things were still good between them. In s5, Robby made sure to be friends with Miguel and Hawk after Robby started fawning in s5e5. Robby kept initiating conversations with them. Hawk only initiated once and that was to tell Robby that he would shut Kenny up in their match.

In s6e5, although Robby had stood up for himself in the courtyard scene, Robby confirmed with Miguel that they were still good right after their match. In s6e6, Robby checked with Miguel twice to make sure he was on Robby’s side, during the conversation about Tory and Kreese. In s6e7, before their match with Cobra Kai, Miguel told Robby to stay back and stay focused. Robby asked him why he wouldn’t be focused, and Miguel said that he saw him leave the hotel room the night before. After the match, when Robby was in the shower, he didn’t know that Miguel and his sidekicks were talking about him behind his back, saying that they think Miguel should be captain. When Robby came out, they lied about what they’d been talking about. As Robby passed by Miguel, Robby patted Miguel’s shoulder in a friendly manner, again trying to confirm that things were good between them.

Next, after Miguel commented in the locker room about Robby’s lack of focus, Robby confronted him telling him to say whatever it is he has to say.

Miguel told Robby off, saying that he didn’t care about winning and had taken this opportunity from Miguel. Robby said that it hasn’t actually been easy for him and called him out once again for making it all about himself. Robby stood up for himself again, as he had in s6e5, because Robby still believed in himself and his future. Miguel told him that he’d be the reason they’d go home with nothing and he should either man up or admit that Miguel was fighting better and hand it over. After Miguel walked away, Robby looked at the captain’s headband in contemplation.

Miguel: "Sure, but you're also going to be the reason we go home with nothing." Notice the look on Robby's face after Miguel said this. This is scapegoating. (I'll talk more later about how this statement affected Robby.)

Before the platform match, Robby tightened his headband, when Miguel looked at him, to reinforce that Robby wasn’t going to hand it over. However, Robby had another freeze respond while fighting and was knocked off the platform more quickly than he should have been. Miguel ended up winning it for them after a 2 v 1, but before he went up there he told Robby, “Watch how it’s done.” After this match, Johnny got the call about Carmen, and he and Miguel took off without even talking to Robby and definitely not taking him along.

Johnny heard Miguel bully Robby, but Johnny said nothing to Robby to encourage him or make him feel better. Johnny didn't say anything to Miguel in the moment either. Johnny is so useless to Robby. After Miguel had his hissy fit on the plane and called Robby "messed up", Johnny defended Robby for a like a second... Then, to appease Miguel because he started stonewalling Johnny, Johnny called Miguel his son and basically defended why he's "supporting" Robby (which he clearly isn't) as captain.

Robby isn't wrong to perceive Miguel as a threat, even if Robby is doing this subconsciously. Robby needs to understand where he stands with him. Robby knows from past experience that he must stay on good terms with Miguel. In s5e4, Robby had told Tory that he and Johnny still have some issues that are too big to solve. Robby looked toward Miguel. Johnny's unhealthy obsession with Miguel is one of those "too big to solve problems".

In s6e7, Robby was trying to appease Miguel and his anger towards Robby, while Robby was also still trying to believe in himself and his own future. Robby wasn’t wrong about Miguel, though. In s6e8, while Miguel and Johnny had left Robby behind to go to Carmen, Miguel threw Johnny’s alcoholism and failures with Robby in Johnny’s face and even called Robby “messed up” to attack Johnny. Miguel then stonewalled Johnny, until Johnny came begging and appeased him. Johnny assured Miguel that he is Johnny’s son too and basically apologized for “supporting” Robby as captain. 

Because of Johnny’s codependency with Miguel, Robby has to also gauge and be aware of his status with Miguel (and no doubt with Carmen too). After all, Johnny had forced Robby to do the apartment fight with Miguel so that Miguel could take his anger out on Robby and become friends with Robby. In order to have a relationship with Johnny, Robby has to have a good relationship with Miguel. Also, because of Miguel gaslighting Robby after the apartment fight as well as everyone continuing to act like Robby has always been the problem between them, Robby has settled with the belief that he had to be the one to let go of his "hate" in order for their rivalry to be resolved, like he indicated in his conversation with Kenny in s5e8.

When Miguel “apologized” to Robby in s6e9, Miguel didn’t actually apologize. Miguel didn’t admit why he had been acting that way. In s6e8, Miguel had already made sure to undermine Johnny’s support of Robby over Miguel because of his jealousy of Robby being Johnny’s real son and Miguel’s own false entitlement over Johnny. In s6e9, Miguel now showed support to Robby after having gotten what he’d wanted from Johnny—confirmation that he will still be Johnny’s priority over Robby. Miguel was now also motivated to win because of the promise he’d made to his mother that the baby’s older brother (just him, not her other brother) would win. Miguel made sure to give Robby the reassurance that he needed in order to lead with confidence and help the team win. 

Miguel had known all along that Robby had been struggling with his focus. Miguel had called out Robby’s lack of focus a few times, and Robby had also told him that it hasn’t been easy for him since getting there. Miguel could have given him the support he’d needed any time. Miguel had instead chosen to be a bully and hindrance to Robby (as the Threshold Guardian that Miguel is) because of Miguel's petty jealousy, instead of being an ally to Robby (which Miguel shapeshifted into). I’ll discuss their s6e9 conversation in more detail in the next section. 

Note that a big difference between Robby and Miguel is that Robby has never torn down another student, not unless provoked. And even then he makes pointed remarks in response, and not some rant about everything being about himself. Miguel on the other hand tore down Robby out of jealousy and made it all about himself. Miguel is not a supportive “brother” or “friend” to Robby. Miguel is not to be trusted, as he will turn on Robby whenever Miguel feels insecure or threatened by Robby’s presence and Miguel will continue to undermine Johnny's relationship with Robby.

Robby’s self-worth, self-esteem, and self-blame

Trauma greatly affects these traits. I’ll first talk about Robby’s self-worth and self-esteem. Then, I’ll focus on his self-blame.

Self-esteem describes your thoughts and feelings about yourself. It is usually based on judgments you make about yourself in the moment… Because self-esteem involves your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your level of confidence, it isn’t stable or consistent. Instead, it depends heavily on the outer world of people, tasks, and external information used to compare, judge, and evaluate yourself.

Self-worth is a broader, more stable form of self-esteem that is less influenced by outside or inside factors. Instead of focusing on specific traits, skills, circumstances, or achievements, self-worth describes the core beliefs you have about your worth and value. Core beliefs tend to be consistent over time, which is why self-worth is less likely to change in response to feelings, thoughts, behaviors, or experiences.

Robby generally has low self-worth due to all of his traumas, especially his trauma from abandonment/rejection. Fawning also diminishes a person’s self-worth as they put the needs of others above their own. Over the course of the series, Robby’s self-worth has decreased immensely.

In contrast, Robby’s self-esteem has wavered throughout the series. From s1e2 to s1e7, it was low as Robby had no proper support system and didn’t believe in himself or his future. From s1e7 (after the bonsai tree lesson) to s2e10, his self-esteem was high. From s2e10 (after the school fight) to s4e1, it was low again. From s4e1 to s5e5, it was high again. From s5e5 (after the apartment fight and baby news) to s6e4, his self-esteem was pretty low again. In s6e5, after Tory showed belief in him, his self-esteem increased again. Robby stood up to Miguel in s6e5 and in s6e7 because Robby believed in himself and his future. For a short time, after the SA, Robby’s self-esteem was low again. Miguel’s conversation with Robby and winning the team match after that improved Robby’s self-esteem again. In their s6e10 conversation, Tory said that she shouldn't have believed in any of it. Robby asked if that included him too. He wanted to know if she believed in him.  

In s6, the scapegoating continued to affect Robby’s self-worth and add to his self-blame too. Of course, the scapegoating for the school fight has continued. The college essay scene in s6e2 no doubt added to Robby's poor mental health. In s6e6, all the Miyagi-Dos ganging up on Robby and blaming him for Tory joining Kreese and Cobra Kai was uncalled for. When they first found out that Tory had joined Kreese, Sam had immediately asked Robby if he knew. He said that he didn’t, which was true. Sam later threw him under the bus, without even talking to him first, after Tory had told her that Robby knew about Kreese going to Tory. Hawk was also hypocritical about Robby losing the bet with Kwon. Hawk had egged Robby on before the bet and then turned on him after he lost. In s6e7, Miguel told Robby that he would be the reason that that team would go home with nothing. This is also scapegoating. (As a side, the others being upset with Robby for talking to Tory is uncalled for. She is his girlfriend. She had just lost her mom, and she made this choice. Regardless, it is his choice who he dates and talks to.)

Scapegoating is a destructive behavior that can have long-term psychological effects on both parties involved. In the target of this behavior, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, isolation, and even conditions like depression and/or anxiety can arise. They may also begin to doubt themselves since the other person is typically denying their experiences, or making them feel as though they are not worth listening to.

Self-blame also leads to low self-esteem and low self-worth. Scapegoating, abandonment, rejection, fawning, and SA all lead/add to excessive self-blame.

Blaming one’s self is a common response to having a traumatic experience. This is especially true even when the traumatic event occurs through no fault of our own -we didn’t ask for it, we didn’t want it and we certainly weren’t okay with it happening. And while this self-blaming response isn’t logical, the self blame can run deep, cold and hard to shake. There are many reasons why we take on this blame whether it’s a single event or prolonged childhood trauma.  1) We don’t have the capacity to see the flaws and wounds of our caregivers when we’re young. Developmentally, we do not possess the ability to step out of our own experience and perceive that our caregivers aren’t capable of meeting our needs. We can’t see beyond ourselves, so blaming someone else isn’t even possible. Because we are not capable of assigning blame elsewhere, that pain has to be directed somewhere, and that is often inward. 2) Self blame is a survival response. If we blame the caregiver at the root of our trauma, it undercuts our perception that they can provide for us. That, in turn, implies that we are alone in this world without the ability to take care of ourselves. By blaming ourselves, we maintain the perception that we’re still in control of the situation and ultimately safe -even when we’re not. That message of self-blame commonly travels with us into adulthood, manifesting into thoughts such as, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m unlovable”. 3) When a traumatic event occurs, we are hard wired to respond rapidly on an unconscious level. Unknowingly, our nervous system is constantly scanning the environment for potential danger. It’s like a personal alarm system. When the alarm goes off, we assess the situation with a rapid fire response: “Do I escape, fight or hide?” Because we are not aware of this near instantaneous assessment, it often leaves one thinking that more could have been done. The truth is that we likely did everything that could have been done in an attempt to keep ourselves safe -even if bad things still happened. Not being aware that this action unconsciously takes place leads us to conclude that we could have done better or more, thus placing the blame on ourselves.

In part 2, Robby’s exaggerated self-blame increased immensely after the SA. Usually Robby’s exaggerated self-blame is paired with his hopelessness. I’m going to look at two other examples alongside the SA.

In s3e2, after the school fight and being on the run, Robby needed validation that he could change. He told Daniel, “But I caused all this. I’m the one who kicked Miguel… You were right. It was a mistake trying to help because I can’t change.” There is a lot of context to the school fight that Robby ignored. He focused solely on what he himself had done, not the context in which it happened, and then expressed his hopelessness about himself. Daniel then said that we all make mistakes but our mistakes aren’t who we are and he can learn from his mistakes, and that Daniel would help him with that. Robby became visibly hopeful. However, the cops showed up and whatever trust and belief Robby had in Daniel and his words fell away. Robby also stopped believing in himself after that. Not to mention, the circumstances he was in were so dire, and no one cared about his side of the story, his experience or mental health, or had faith in. He was all alone. 

In s4e10, when Robby came to Johnny, Robby told Johnny “I screwed everything up. I had all this hate inside of me… I thought I could use Cobra Kai to control that. But, it just made things worse, and now it’s never going to get better… I’m sick of blaming you, Dad.” Robby needed to hear that it would get better. For these few moments, Johnny gave Robby the emotional support he needed. Notice that Robby again solely focused on what he himself had done, not the context in which it happened, and then expressed his hopelessness about himself, and moreso, his situation.

In s6e9, when Robby spoke to Miguel, Robby expressed that exaggerated self-blame and hopelessness again: "I'm completely screwing it up out there… Tory ended things. She hooked up with Kwon… Then I got drunk and did something stupid. I'm blowing it on and off the mat. You were right. You should have been captain." Interestingly, although he had said that Tory ended things and "hooked up with Kwon", he described what had happened between him and Zara as him "doing something stupid". This means that he doesn’t actually look at it as some casual hook-up, although he thought of Tory and Kwon’s hook up as casual. What happened with Zara was eating him up inside. Notice that, in this conversation with Miguel, Robby did the same things as in the two conversations above: Robby solely focused on what he himself had done, not the context in which it happened, and then expressed his hopelessness about himself, and moreso, his situation.

"I got drunk and did something stupid. I'm blowing it on and off the mat."

Notice also the context in which all these things happened: Robby did something related to his trauma due to Johnny. This is coupled with a traumatic event or trigger and that in turn made him believe even more that he can't change or succeed. This is also coupled with a negative interaction before the traumatic event with the person who he later talked to about his actions, the traumatic event, and his self-blame and hopelessness:

In s3e2, Robby believed that he couldn’t change (that he would end up like Johnny). He hadn’t just lost his balance and his anger had taken over (understandably having a "fight" trauma response in the moment), but he had accidentally injured someone severely. In s2e10, before the school fight, Daniel had told Robby, “This whole thing was a mistake. You wanna end up like him. That’s up to you.” After the trauma, as Robby spoke about it, Robby told Daniel that he had been right about what he’d said. Robby now believed that what he had done / what had happened had proven Daniel’s words right. In this s3e2 conversation, Daniel had also told Robby that Daniel’s words before the school fight had been wrong to say.

In s4e10, Robby talked to Johnny about screwing everything up and making things worse by joining Cobra Kai to control his “hate”. This was a reference to their conversation in s4e4 in which Johnny had told Robby that Cobra Kai is a poison and that Kreese had brainwashed him. Robby then told Johnny that Johnny had trusted Kreese but Robby didn’t trust anyone anymore and that Robby was using Kreese. After hurting Kenny because of listening to Kreese and after having that moment of self-reflection, Robby now admitted to Johnny what he had been using Kreese/Cobra Kai for and that it did make things worse. Johnny then admitted that he had screwed things up for Robby with Larusso and that Robby should blame Johnny and not himself.

In s6e9, Robby told Miguel, "I'm completely screwing it up out there… Tory ended things. She hooked up with Kwon… Then I got drunk and did something stupid. I'm blowing it on and off the mat. You were right. You should have been captain." This was a direct reference to Miguel’s words to Robby in s6e7 that he would be the reason they go home with nothing so he should either man up, or admit that Miguel was fighting better and hand it over. In s6e9, when Robby said that he was completely screwing up out there, Miguel responded that that was a team loss. This countered his previous words that Robby would be the reason they would go home with nothing. Miguel then asked what was going on and what happened while he was away. Robby explained and said that Miguel had been right and should be captain. Miguel then told Robby that that’s bullshit and so on. These conversations were before and after Robby had gotten drunk to cope with this poor mental health, just like Johnny does, and then Zara SA’d Robby. Just like the other two events I talked about above, the SA has affected him immensely.

Robby: "You were right. You should have been captain." Miguel: "That's bullshit."

All 3 of these situations are approached the same way. Robby had an interaction in which the other person demeaned Robby and he had rejected their words (Daniel’s words had been really harsh and were more due to his anger at Johnny; Johnny hadn’t even listened to what Robby had come to talk to him about and had been dismissive of whatever he had said in that conversation, while Johnny had also projected his own past onto Robby; and Miguel had been jealous about Robby being captain and Johnny “supporting” Robby over him). Robby then experienced a traumatic event (the school fight; hurting Kenny coupled with Kenny embracing Cobra Kai completely despite Robby teaching him Miyagi-Do; the SA) that (1) involved him behaving like Johnny in some way (losing his anger and injuring someone; trusting and being brainwashed by Kreese; getting drunk) and (2) made him believe that that person’s words had been right. In each situation, Robby only focused on his own actions and self-blame and ignored important context. Robby then had a conversation with that person about their words being right. That person then told Robby that their previous words had been wrong and/or that he shouldn’t feel the way their words now made him feel. 

Putting aside Hayden’s tweet about the SA, in an interview for part 2, Jon had gone into detail about Robby’s mental state in s6e8 and then merely ended with “Robby made a regrettable mistake”. Like in the story itself, Jon provided no further perspective about what had happened between Robby and Zara. He simply framed his answer the way Robby talked about it in the story. The only information “told” in canon is Robby’s words “I did something stupid”. Robby later provided no perspective on what had happened, not even in his conversations with Tory. In s6e10, when he tried to explain his side of the story, Tory cut him off. This also matches how Robby’s side of the story for his other traumas have been obscured and have yet to be explored. In canon, Robby believes that he and Zara had sex, and he can barely remember what happened. That is the most important pov when looking at the SA.

Although I’ve said that Johnny and Miguel are the two main pov characters, we do get a little of Robby's pov. However, we don't get much of his side of the story for almost all things he experiences. That is, we don’t get much exploration into his side of the story unless he or the other characters say something about it. Because no one advocates for him and instead most times others vilify him and because he rarely speaks up for himself or people stop him when he tries to explain, the “tell” is oftentimes that of the other characters’ or the fallout of the events, which usually aren't in Robby’s favor. The rare times he says something, it's still important to consider his words in the context in which he says them. Robby himself can be an unreliable narrator at times. His exaggerated self-blame, low self-worth, and self-hate frame his own pov, not just of himself but of others as well. As I talked about in a previous post, it’s hard to ignore that this situation with Zara is depicted as another trauma for Robby from the setup to the dialogue to the execution (all the subtext), which I’ll talk about more next. (Note, I know about the episode writers’ interview with CKK. The writer’s demeanor and lack of confidence indicated she was trying to come up with an answer on the spot. She really fumbled it. The other writer's agreement with her was also subdued. As I’ve pointed out, the framing and marketing for Robby’s traumas don’t match the subtext in canon.)

The SA is another trauma for Robby and its impact on Robby’s mental health is depicted

To recap, leading up to the SA, there are no indications of Robby’s interest in Zara. He barely noticed her existence other than watching her fights alongside others’ in a crowd. They’re not even shown having a conversation until after the SA. However, Zara took notice of Robby first. As she stood next to Tory during the captains’ pictures in s6e6, Zara commented about cute boys to Tory and nodded in Robby’s direction. When Tory turned to look, Robby smiled at her. It’s at this point that Zara showed her first signs of jealousy towards Tory, as she commented about Tory having dibs. In their first match, which was after this exchange, Zara purposely leaned over Tory after Zara won and taunted, “Welcome to Barcelona, bitch!”, enjoying her victory over Tory. 

While many claim that Zara later targeted Robby because of her rivalry with Tory, Zara had actually taken issue with Tory because of Zara’s interest in Robby; Zara didn’t take an interest in Robby because of Zara’s issue with Tory. Zara had clocked Tory as a threat to what she had first wanted: Robby. Zara’s behavior with Robby during their conversation in s6e8 is one of entitlement over him and his body. Before this, in s6e7/8, the threat that Tory posed to Zara expanded to Zara’s status as the best female fighter because people were praising Tory as a badass fighter for knocking someone's tooth out. In s6e8, Zara confronted Tory at the bar to knock her down a few pegs, but Tory didn’t feel threatened by her at all. This is reminiscent of Miguel in s1 taking issue with Robby in s1e8/9 because of Miguel’s possessiveness/entitlement over Sam and that fed into Miguel’s rivalry with Robby at the avt in s1e10. Like Tory, Robby had not reciprocated in any way.

In s6e8, some time after Zara confronted Tory, Tory left the bar. Kwon then confronted Robby, who was drinking and couldn't even focus. Zara approached Robby with intention, as if she’d been watching him. Zara knew what state Robby was in. In this case and in s1, Robby was the one targeted by the jealous party: Miguel saw Robby as a threat to Miguel’s entitlement over Sam, so Miguel acted against Robby. Zara saw Tory as a threat to Zara’s entitlement over Robby, but Zara acted against Robby. 

In s6e8, the next morning, Robby and Zara exited her room as Robby was putting on his hoodie. He told her that his head is pounding and he can barely remember anything. That is, he had been too drunk to remember what they had done and didn’t feel well at the moment. She in turn didn’t care at all about his hungover state and offered no caring or empathetic statement. Instead, she mockingly said “Well, good thing I do”. She had been sober and remembered all they had done. She then kissed him as if she’s entitled to. He barely responded as she did. After she stopped, he stared at her, shell-shocked, slowly turned, and walked away from her. 

Robby: "I can barely remember anything." Zara: "Well, good thing I do." This kiss is SA, no matter what happened in that room.

It should be noted that Tory seeing Zara and Robby kissing is written as a coincidence. A question remains if Zara would have said anything if she hadn't seen Tory or if Tory hadn't seen them. Robby wouldn't have said anything. He simply told Miguel that he "did something stupid", and he was later shocked that Tory had found out. The point is this isn't written as Zara purposely doing this to Robby to mess with Tory because there's no indication that Zara would have said anything otherwise. She later assumed Robby would choose her over Tory because of what she had done to him.

The way Zara intentionally approached Robby while he was drinking was reminiscent of how Miguel had approached Sam while he knew she was drunk at Moon’s party in s2. Robby wasn't standing steadily when facing off against Kwon and couldn't muster any words. His movements were already becoming unsteady. Zara seemed to have been watching him and made her move after he was all alone. Miguel had also witnessed Sam drinking and made his move to approach her when she was all alone. She'd even stumbled into his arms, but he still kissed her. Robby had been right to call Miguel out for taking advantage of Sam. Robby had known how drunk she had been. The contrast in these situations is that Miguel and Sam had a history, while Zara and Robby had no history or interaction before this. Coincidentally, Tory witnessed both of these kisses. While Sam had been the one taken advantage of by Miguel, Robby had been the one taken advantage of by Zara.

In addition to the lead up to this scene as well as the dialogue in this scene both indicating that this was SA, there are elements in the visual storytelling that also confirm this: (1) Robby’s demeanor in the scene is that of confusion, dazedness, and shell shock. Zara’s demeanor is that of calm, arrogance, and satisfaction. (2) After Zara ended the kiss that she had entitled herself to, Robby was looking at her in shock. Tory was in the background but was out of focus. In terms of “depth of field”, this is a “shallow focus” shot. Tory is not the focus of this moment, although Tory had just been the focus of the previous shot. In fact, Zara is not the focus either, although she is also “in focus” in the frame at first. But that was because she is in line with Robby horizontally (in terms of depth of field) so she was also in focus. However, as Robby walked away from Zara and towards the camera, the focus stayed on Robby. Zara slowly went out of focus too, as the shallow focus shot stayed on Robby. Shallow focus is used to direct the audience's attention to a certain point or subject of interest. We the audience are supposed to be focused on Robby's, and only Robby's, emotional experience in these moments. Robby’s body language must not be dismissed. (3) The change in tone to the upbeat score that is Zara's theme only played after Robby was well outside of the frame. The score started playing when Zara saw Tory after turning to go back into her room. Although the shift in tone is jarring, Robby’s emotional experience in this entire situation was not underscored or associated with this upbeat tone.

Although Tory was already introduced into the scene, Robby's emotional experience is still important and remains a focus in the scene, particularly in this shallow focus shot that focuses on him only.

From Zara's pov, she had won and gotten what she'd wanted: Robby. Tory witnessing the kiss coincidentally was a bonus for Zara. From Tory's pov, Robby had cheated on her and Zara had tried to steal Robby from her. From Robby’s pov, he can barely remember what happened but his rationale due to exaggerated self-blame became "I got drunk and did something stupid."

Another aspect of this situation that indicates that it is intentionally depicted as SA is Robby’s deteriorated mental health afterwards. Whereas Robby would freeze up during his matches each time he had looked at Tory before the SA, Robby’s focus was completely off during their first team match after the SA. Robby then blamed himself for the whole team losing—a combination of his self-blame from the SA and Miguel previously telling (scapegoating) him that they’d go home with nothing because of him. In that match, Hawk and Demetri had been dumbasses about Kenny and had made things worse, but Robby just put it all on himself. In fact, Miguel had picked up on the fact that Robby was completely off-balance now and that something had happened while Miguel had been away. I explained their conversation in detail above. To add to that, Robby hadn’t been as upset that he had drank or gotten drunk; Robby was much more upset about what had happened with Zara. He specifically called the latter the "stupid" thing he "did". This is in contrast to him distinctly calling what he assumed happened between Tory and Kwon a “hook up”. This makes sense because of Robby’s confusion and self-blame over what Zara had done to him. He hadn’t intended on and couldn't remember consenting to “hooking up with Zara”. In addition to the subtext (text and context) and how it was executed, the deterioration of Robby’s mental health/focus and his increased self-blame also indicate that this indeed is another trauma and not just a casual hook up. 

Another hint that Zara’s interest in Robby was purely about Robby (and not about Tory) and that Zara had SA'd him that night is Zara’s belief that Robby should choose her over Tory after what Zara had done to him. Zara was shocked during the brawl that Robby would protect Tory from her and not let her beat Tory up, which Zara interpreted as Robby choosing Tory over Zara. In s1/2, Miguel had also believed that Sam should choose him over Robby after Miguel had promised to and carried through with hurting Robby in the s1 avt. Miguel had also later attacked Robby in the school fight with the similar intentions. When Robby asked Miguel why he had taken advantage of Sam,. Miguel first said that he would never. Robby then asked why'd it happen. Miguel's response to that had been, "She doesn't love you. She loves me!" Here, after Robby threw Zara off of Tory, Zara said, “You’d really choose her over me!” Robby responded that it's not even close. Then, Zara attacked him, after Tory was attacked from behind. The difference in these situations is that Robby and Tory don’t realize the nature of Zara’s actions against Robby, whereas Sam had first acknowledged Miguel’s actions against Robby in the avt but that acknowledgement has evaporated since the school fight. Sam has also never acknowledged Miguel's actions against Robby in the school fight and has only focused on what Robby did at the end of the school fight. In s4e1, Sam also acknowledged that she hadn’t stopped caring about Miguel when she admitted that her feelings had been complicated. Regardless, Miguel had taken advantage of Sam when he had kissed her at Moon’s party. In both these situations, Robby ended up with the blame for what (the SA) Zara and Miguel (the school fight) had each done to him. 

"You'd really choose her over me?" Bitch is crazy to think that he would choose her... and if nothing had happened in that room (which is highly doubtful), she's even crazier.

Robby and Zara are only shown to have two interactions: the morning after the SA and during the brawl. As I talked about earlier, the self-blame that Robby has due to what happened with Zara is an indication that this is a trauma for him. He believes that he “did something stupid” with Zara, although he barely remembers what happened. Robby’s self-blame due to this trauma was treated similarly in the narrative as his self-blame due to his other traumatic experiences have been treated. In light of this and in light of what is “shown”, including Zara believing that Robby should choose her as if she’s entitled to him and being his choice, there’s so much in the narrative itself that indicates this is SA and a trauma for Robby. (Even if nothing happened in the room, Zara still SA’d Robby when she kissed him that morning.)

Given how insidiously the writers have weaved all the neglect, abuse, scapegoating, and bullying Johnny and Miguel have subjected Robby to in s5 and s6 into the story (the Mexico trip, apartment fight and their conversation after, college application letter, and courtyard scenes) and how they’ve framed and marketed these as acceptable and wholesome (even using words like “therapy session” for the psychologically and physically abusive apartment fight), it would be surprising if this really weren’t intended as SA. (The episode writer said that her interpretation (basically her headcanon) is that Zara told Robby something had happened and kissed him to fuck with his head. Making someone believe that they had sex with you when they can’t remember or give consent is fucked up too. Nothing the writers say can redeem their handling of this or salvage Zara’s character.)

Robby took his self-blame out on Kwon

There are many parallels between Robby and Kwon. For example, both Robby and Kwon were potentially the best students in their dojos, but they were second to the teacher’s pets: in Robby’s case, that was Miguel; in Kwon’s case, that was Yoon. In part 2, Miguel and his two sidekicks were antagonistic to Robby. In part 1, Yoon and his two sidekicks were antagonistic to Kwon. In Kwon’s case, he had to fight all three of them to earn his spot as captain. He beat the sidekicks first and then had a final fight with Yoon. In Robby’s case, he beat out Hawk and Demetri for one of the top four spots and then Robby had to fight Miguel for the captain spot. Kwon and Robby were also given a similar move. In s6e3, Kwon executed a double kick on Yoon’s sidekicks. In s6e10, Robby executed a double kick on Kwon and Yoon. Both Robby and Kwon are good at mind games and throwing their opponent off-balance off the mat. Robby and Kwon shared similar insecurities. They both believed they could be the best, but they struggled to be the best.

Since crossing paths, Kwon had been antagonizing Robby, especially using the fact that Tory—Robby’s girlfriend—was on their team. Kwon laughed at Robby as he tried to catch Tory at the elevator. Then Kwon challenged Robby to the bet. Robby shouldn’t have taken the bait, but everyone was watching as Kwon was challenging and belittling him. Robby wanted to prove that he could win and that he’s not weak. Robby has postured at times before, so this was in character for him. (Though, mature me believes he should have walked away.) He did lose the bet unfortunately and lost his and Demetri’s room in the process.

Later, Kwon beat him in a match after taunting him about the bet. Then, in s6e8, Kwon was pretending to get close with Tory, which Robby took as a sign that Tory really had moved on from him. After Tory left, Kwon taunted Robby about keeping Tory warm that night. Robby was getting drunk at that point, couldn't string together a comeback, and went back to drinking. After that, Robby was SA’d by Zara, and Robby’s focus was completely off because of that. 

In their match in s6e9, Robby took his anger out on Kwon after Robby realized that Kwon had been playing mind games with him and he had fallen for them.

In truth, Robby’s anger had really been directed at himself. Kwon just became the outlet for that anger. Robby had fallen for Kwon’s games but that was on Robby. Robby shifted some of the self-blame he felt for that and for the SA onto Kwon. After all, it was the SA that Robby was really beating himself up about.

"He's making it hurt."

It’s actually quite symbolic that Robby directed his self-blame and self-hate at Kwon. Kwon was written as a mirror character to Robby, hence all the parallels. 

Mirror characters tend to share several qualities and are used to complement and highlight each other’s traits. Common mirror characters embark on parallel plots, sometimes to achieve a single goal, which tests them and highlights their traits in different ways.

Mirrors in fiction are characters who reflect the main character and reveal insights into the main character's behaviors, thoughts, and motivations. A mirror allows the main character to check the state of their own being or learn lessons from their mistakes.

In s6e10, Kwon kept antagonizing Robby. Kwon’s rage at Robby had been palpable. During the brawl, Robby was one of Kwon’s two targets. In the end, Kwon chose to attack Axel and tragically landed on the knife he’d intended to use on Axel.

In s6, Kwon became the student that Kreese had wanted to mold Robby into in s3/4. However, Robby hadn’t trusted Kreese, had been using him, and is too much of a Miyagi-Do. Even Silver realized this and told Kreese that he doesn’t have control over Robby. Although many fans wanted to see Robby become Cobra Kai completely, he was never going to. Robby had his own reasons for being in Cobra Kai and those reasons didn’t include fully embracing Cobra Kai. When Robby was fighting Kenny in the s4 avt, Kreese had to remind Robby that he was fighting his opponent not his friend. s4 already revealed that Robby’s weakness is that he has too much heart. After that match, seeing Kenny fully adopt Cobra Kai (“It’s Cobra Kai. No mercy.”), and then seeing himself reflected in Kenny, Robby lost and didn’t become a champion. 

Kwon in turn was driven to be Kreese’s champion. Kreese imparted the same teachings on Kwon that Kreese had imparted on Robby. Kreese had told him that he could be one of the most terrifying fighters in the Sekai Taikai, just take all that anger inside of him and give it purpose. Unfortunately, this ultimately resulted in Kwon’s death.

In Robby’s fight against Kwon in s6e9, Robby fought with his anger. He made sure to “make it hurt” and humiliate Kwon. Robby had let Kwon get in his head, and Robby now took his anger at himself out on Kwon. Robby gave his anger (his “hate”) purpose. “I had all this “hate” inside of me… I thought I could use Cobra Kai to control that.” Robby fought with anger as a Cobra Kai would, not with balance as a Miyagi-Do would.

Although Kwon is not The Shadow in Robby’s story and has the role of a Threshold Guardian, as a mirror character to Robby, Kwon plays the role of what “the hero could become if they succumb to their inner darkness or make the wrong choices”.

This is Robby’s final “battle” of the series. Compared to the others, he has the most struggles and stakes left. Part 2 showed just how bad it is for Robby. He started experiencing another type of trauma response (freeze) more frequently because his abandonment/rejection trauma worsened due to Tory’s behavior with him. Johnny continued to neglect him and choose Miguel over him. Daniel is too unfocused that he’s not rebuilding his relationship with him. He has no true friend and is still the group's scapegoat. After the SA, his mental health worsened, his exaggerated self-blame increased, and he lost more mental focus. 

Throughout this, he started going down the path that Johnny—The Shadow— had gone down. Robby’s mental health has now worsened to the point that he took a drink and got drunk for the first time in order to numb himself. Then, in his second fight with Kwon, Robby became the fighter that Kreese had wanted Kwon to become: Robby combined his anger with his skills and gave his anger purpose. Although Robby was proud of his victory, he had gained it by primarily channeling his Cobra Kai side. Taking that step further to becoming like Johnny and like the 3rd generation of Cobra Kai.

Robby is Miyagi-Do. He carries the heart and essence of the Miyagi-Do dojo (post 1, post 2). He always has throughout the story. In part 2, when Robby was struggling, the whole dojo was struggling. When Robby improved, the whole dojo improved, as seen in their fight with Futura De Pantera before the fight against Cobra Kai. Robby also led the locker room chant that they are “Miyagi-Do”. In fact, when Miguel said, "We're a family. All of us", Robby got a thoughtful expression and then stood and said, "Who are we?" All the kids said, "Miyagi-Do!" — Robby's family and home have always been Miyagi-Do. 

During the Resurrection stage, usually two deaths occur for the hero: an “external” death and a “internal” death. It's quite telling that Robby’s mirror character literally died in this stage while he was fighting with intense rage. Kwon's death is said to have an impact on all the characters. Of the Miyagi-Do kids, Robby will be most impacted because of his rivalry with Kwon. Kwon’s loss to Robby the day before had added to the rage that drove Kwon during the brawl. Knowing Robby, he’ll feel remorse for taking his anger out on Kwon, “making it hurt”, and humiliating him. This will likely lead to some self-reflection on Robby’s part.

It is also interesting that Robby’s next opponent said only these words to Robby, before the physical death of Robby's mirror character: “Are you going to keep defending? Or are you going to start fighting?” The “death and rebirth” of Robby's internal self should include him moving out of the defensive mode (fawn state) that he's been in since s5e5 and back into fighting for himself, especially against his Shadow—Johnny. 

It’s also telling that Robby fought with balance as a Miyagi-Do against Miguel and won in s6e5. Daniel's KK1 victory leitmotif was played. That win also remains. Later, Robby fought with anger as a Cobra Kai against Kwon and won in s6e9. Although the win remains, the consequences of that win were undone when Cobra Kai were reinstated. In a way, that win was tainted because it wasn't a win using Miyagi-Do. When Robby fought Axel in the semi-final, Robby first went on offense and got nowhere with Axel. Then Axel switched to offense and was landing hits fast. Daniel reminded Robby to go on defense. Robby’s Miyagi-Do defense was so strong that Axel became frustrated. Miyagi-Do is the key to beating Axel. However, Robby has to be balanced on his own, with or without support, in order to truly win his upcoming fight against Axel.

Cobra Kai represents the generational trauma that is being passed down. It’s also presented as an unhealthy coping mechanism. Miyagi-Do represents healing from that generational trauma and is presented as a healthier coping mechanism. Robby rejects Cobra Kai because he doesn’t want to go down that path. 

"Well, you are the tree, Robby. You've got strong roots. You know who you are, right? So now all you've gotta do is visualize what you want your future to look like, and then you make it happen." 

Because of Robby's traumas and poor mental health, Robby doesn't know who he is.  In part 3, Robby is going to have to make his final decision about which path he wants to go down. He's going to have to make important decisions about himself, his future, and his relationships. The Resurrection stage also includes a sacrifice on the hero’s part. I assume for Robby the sacrifice will be letting go of his “want” and choosing his “need” so that he can finally start finding balance.

(As always, please don't reply or reblog with dismissive comments about the nuance in the story. The nuance is part of the story, and the story is exploring important topics like trauma, bullying, neglect, and dysfunctional relationships. I'm aware of the part 3 leaks, but people also shut down conversations about all possible theories for the leaks. I’m just going to stick to analyzing canon here.)

[greatwyrmgold]

i feel like everyone has their own vision for this in their head, so what do YOU think an Ai Lives version of OnK would be like? both in terms of what you think the manga itself would have been like and what you, as a fan, would like to see for the characters in that kind of scenario

So, the fun thing is, I've had a few Ai Lives AU fanfics kinda outlined and semi-scripted in the back of my head. I'll try to keep "what I think makes sense for the AU" separate from "what I thought I could justify in that fanfic," but no promises.

I will divide this into two sections. First, I'll discuss how I expect the Hoshino family dynamic would shift over time if nothing disrupted it. Second, I'll discuss a disruption that I expect/hope would happen sooner or later.

The Hoshino Family

Much like HikAi, the Hoshino family is a bunch of people with complimentary unresolved traumas. Like HikAi, there's theoretically a way where these mesh together cleanly and let everyone involved heal without complication, like a broken bone that sets itself.

Like HikAi, that would require implausible serendipity. Unlike HikAi, I don't see that devolving into violence. But the idyllic Hoshino would devolve into a normal, mildly dysfunctional family, composed of people who have minimal experience with anything except the idyllic Hoshino family and idiosyncratic forms of filial abuse.

Aqua has the least baggage. But depending on how his slide from Goro to Aqua turns out, as Ai and Ruby's baggage comes up, I can imagine him appointing himself as the Family Adult without even realizing it. The part of him that's still Goro still sees Ai as his patient, someone who needs his help.

Of course, Ai doesn't know Aqua remembers being his mother's doctor. To her, this just feels like the child/parent relationship being inverted. And I don't think she'd like that much! She'd probably blame herself before Aqua, thinking that this is all because she's a terrible childish mother, but still.

As for Ruby...she'd react basically how you'd expect a little sister to react to her big brother telling her what to do.

There'd be more tension between Ruby and Ai. Ruby wants the unconditional love a mother is supposed to give her child, Ai wants to feel like she can give someone that love; they should mesh like puzzle pieces designed for each other. But that's conditional on Ai being able to express that love.

One of the AU fics I've outlined is the first time Ai has to spend several weeks away from home. She stars in a move with a bunch of scenes shot in Hokkaido or somewhere, and a week or two later B-Komachi has its first world tour scheduled, and then that gap gets unexpectedly filled when Ai gets hospitalized away from Tokyo. (Maybe she broke her leg in a skiing accident or caught an infectious disease or something.)

Anyways, the end result is that for a couple of months, Ruby doesn't see her mama. All she has are occasional phone calls. Even if the rational part of Ruby realizes that her mama isn't intentionally abandoning her, she feels abandoned, and doesn't appreciate Aqua's appeals to her rationality. She needs Mama and mama isn't here! And Ruby's lonely and scared and mad and explodes when Mama finally shows up again. And Ai is dying inside because she feels like she's failed her kids on a fundamental level.

If there's a single moment where the "idyllic Hoshino family" phase ends, it's that. Maybe not that exact scenario, but whatever moment where Ai's work means she can't maintain that intense positive affection. After that, no matter how real Ai's love for Ruby is, it's not going to feel real the way it used to.

Crucially: The actual Hoshino family experience is, objectively, not that bad. But to Ai and Ruby, it feels like they stepped off the slippery slope. Ai worries that she's going to keep slipping until she's as bad as Ayumi, while Ruby worries that Mama's going to keep growing more and more distant until she's abandoned, like everyone except Sensei abandoned her.

Part of the problem is that the Hoshino family is kinda left to stew by itself. As long as Ai of B-Komachi is a public figure, she has to keep lying. She can't admit that she's the mother of her children to anyone she doesn't trust absolutely. That means they can't give her advice, or comfort, or even point out that from their perspective the family is still okay. It's fine. They're fine. It's fine.

(I guess there's Ichigo and Miyako. But they're not exactly an ideal nuclear family themselves.)

Odds are, the Hoshinos will stew in the fear and paranoia about becoming a Bad Family until something disrupts their status quo.

The Hoshino Disruption

The argument that Ai of B-Komachi needs to hide her family for her whole life, or at least her whole career, is contingent on Ai Hoshino being able to hide her family for her whole career. When she's just a semi-famous idol with a couple kid-kittens at home, that's not unreasonable.

But as Ai of B-Komachi's fame grows, more and more people will poke around, looking for a lead that could make their carer, or at least a tidbit that could let them pay rent. And as Ai Hoshino's kids grow, it will be harder and harder for her to balance their needs and desires against her career.

In one of the AU fics I outlined in my head, the dominoes fall like this: The Saitous set up a livestream so Ai can watch her kids' first sports festival, a paparazzi catches her watching it, he recognizes one of the kids as that boy from That Was the Start, then does a little digging to find out that that boy and his sister are legally the kids of Ai's boss, then does a little more digging to find some circumstantial evidence suggesting that Ichigo Saitou's wife was not actually pregnant when the twins were born and also they seem suspiciously close to Ai of B-Komachi.

Nothing definitive, but enough suggestions and raised questions to catch the world's attention. Because by this point, Ai of B-Komachi is the global face of J-Pop. However these suspicions accumulated into circumstantial evidence, finding out that this perfect, pure idol might have had a secret boyfriend and two children is a major story in Entertainment News.

And then there's Kamiki.

Maybe Strawberry Productions could have answered those suspicions and provided something more (seemingly) concrete than all that circumstantial evidence. But as indicated by the Ai Dies primary universe, Kamiki is still emotionally clinging to Ai and prone to doing impulsive things at her.

In my fic outline, Kamiki crashes a press release where Ai and the Saitous are answering questions about these allegations. He basically says "Yes, it's all true, Ai had children and I'm the father! Ai, will you marry me???" And Ai panics and agrees on live TV and there's no walking that back, even though she realizes it was a mistake.

Whatever the details, Kamiki is gonna do something that makes it impossible for Strawberry Productions to just dismiss the rumors out of hand. If they don't admit that they hid their idol's pregnancy, there are gonna be investigations. And those kids are Ai's children; if Kamiki elevates this story from top-tier celebrity gossip to an evening-news controversy, the truth will come out sooner or later.

The Fallout

Whatever ends up happening to Kamiki, whether he gets to marry the love of his life or gets murdered by Ryosuke for defiling history's most perfect idol, the Hoshino family is free of the burdens of secrecy. Ai can go to PTA meetings and take her kids to the movie theater and show baby pictures to her colleagues. She has so many baby pictures she never got to show anyone, it'll be years before she shows anyone pictures of what they look like now.

Of course, they'll have new burdens. Ai is probably too famous and skilled to go completely without work, but her reputation and income will probably never recover. And Ai of B-Komachi's ex-fans are going to exert as much pressure as they can. Ruby, who has been flaming the haters since she was a toddler, is going to give them more clickbait than they know what to do with.

But at least Ai Hoshino can stop lying. And whatever tribulations she must face, I don't think the Hoshino Family can know peace until that happens.

[comicaurora]

I watched Castlevania: Nocturne the otger day and liked it a lot less than you seemed to, so I want to hear a more detailed opinion if you have one. Am I in the wrong to think it was more shounen and less "deep" in some way?

I'd say it's definitely more shounen. Introducing the "Richter can't do magic because unresolved trauma" thing right from the jump meant a Believing In Yourself powerup was pretty much inevitable, but I liked the execution of that scene enough that I didn't mind much.

It doesn't quite have the backbone of the original Castlevania, which was grounded so strongly in Dracula's apocalyptic grief - a motivation the audience is directed to find deeply understandable from minute one - that it gave the characters a solid thematic core to play off of. This let the writing stay pretty tight by letting Trevor serve as a foiling mirror for Dracula in their mutual disgust with the failures of human kindness, Sypha for Lisa in their altruistic use of their knowledge and their vilification for "witchcraft", and Alucard in the middle torn between worlds.

Nocturne is more loose and character-driven, but it still has a core theme - the argument over "the natural order" and how that plays into a fear of change from those currently on top. However, Richter doesn't really have a horse in that race, since his motivation starts and ends at Kill Vampires while everyone around him is more complex, trying to overthrow the aristocracy and free the enslaved and such. I think this makes Richter feel a little less important than Trevor was, narratively, because he sort of stands apart from the core philosophical debate at play. It took me a few episodes to get what his deal was and start caring about his self-actualization, and I think he's definitely got further to go. Possibly Alucard's presence in season 2 will give him more to play off of.

I think Nocturne has several independently interesting villains instead of one really good villain, which is a complaint I also saw about Castlevania season 4 - I liked Death just fine, but he really didn't work for everyone, and the secondary villains like Saint Germaine were much more interesting and complex. Nocturne does, however, pull off something Castlevania didn't as much, which is most of the characters acting on their own internal consistent motivation without cleanly falling into the "good guy" or "bad guy" box, causing them to slide into and out of conflicts and alliances depending on the circumstances.

I feel like Bathory is kind of a weak core villain with almost no human-level motivations or ideas beyond General Villainy, and the extent of her development being a darkest hour shonen villain powerup/frieza transformation doesn't help much, which is why I'm kind of holding out hope that they just bite the bullet and bring back Dracula. He's the nemesis from the Castlevania games, and while they gave him and Lisa a happy ending in Castlevania season 4, I don't think they need to keep him on the bench forever. It's been 300 years, Lisa is almost certainly long dead again and Dracula doesn't need to be full Mad With Vengeance Burn Down The World to still be a credible problem in need of a little Belmonting.

I had fun with season 1 of Nocturne with the understanding that the first four-episode "season" of Castlevania wasn't representative of the final shape of the story either. Sypha's character, for instance, was very flat before she and the gang went on their season 2 bonding adventure, not much more than some banter and infodumps. I think Nocturne did solid setup of the cast and the theme they'll be unpacking, and it has lots of room to explore these characters in interesting ways once they energy-ball-tennis Bathory out of the way first.

[strdwvlly]

i know a gazillion people have done this already but... i'm gonna post my stardew valley bachelor/ette age hcs + my reasoning hehe

to start this off, i want to say that this is based on what concernedape said about all of them being 20+ but they're also all my personal hcs so i understand if you disagree!

ok that being said, here we go

- maru: 22. she works as a nurse as well as helping her dad with research, i think she's young but not Too young ykwim? demetrius is also really strict so it adds to her seeming young

- penny: 23. it seems like she's been teaching the kids for a few years already even though she hasn't gone to college yet, she also seems older than she is cus she's had to parent her mother :/

- sam: 25. since he lives at home, i think people think he's younger but tbf i know a lot of mid 20 somethings who live at home (me included until recently). i also think jodi and kent had him really young, like 18ish, typical military couple situation

- sebastian: 27. he remembers a time before robin married demetrius so he has to be at least 4 years older than maru, and i think he's a little older because i don't think robin gave birth immediately after getting remarried

- abigail: 23. she's comfortable hanging out with sam and sebastian but definitely seems younger than them, plus she's doing online school which tends to take longer than traditional uni

- alex: 20. to be honest he just seems like the youngest to me, he still wears his varsity jacket and has big dreams of playing gridball and stuff. also a lot of unresolved trauma.

- haley: 22. she's bratty but in a cute tsundere way which makes me think she might be on the younger side. plus she gives me (and everyone else) huge closeted lesbian vibes, so i feel like she hasn't fully come into her identity yet

- emily: 30. i feel like there's a significant age gap between her and haley cus she has second mom vibes and they also seem to have some friction in terms of responsibilities because emily does a lot for haley

- leah: 31. she gives me huge "i hit 30 and realized i needed to change my entire life" energy when she talks about leaving her ex and moving to stardew valley

- harvey: 34. i think he's the oldest, like he doesn't feel ancient but at the same time he had to have gone through med school and his residency so 34 feels comfortable

- shane: 31. he seems older because of the depression and the trauma, but i don't think he's past his early 30s yet, he kinda stopped taking care of himself so it just looks that way

- elliott: 32. he's got big "phd student who abandoned a career in academia to write his great american novel" type vibes, and he's not really self conscious about being very poetic and flowery so i think he's out of his tumultuous twenties

[onlyymirknows]

What are your headcanons for Reiner coping with Bertholdt’s death? Do you think he actually has the time to grieve during the timeskip or is it only post-Rumbling that he allows himself to fully embrace what happened?

Hello! Thanks for the ask, this is my first on this blog 💖

I think he theoretically has the time to grieve Bertholdt during the time skip but I don’t think he actually does. Reiner’s main methods of dealing with emotional stress are repression and distraction. He basically ignores his problems by occupying his mind with something else.

And Reiner is presented with a really compelling distraction when he returns to Marley:

Fighting for his life and reputation in a brand new war is the perfect distraction from what happened on Paradis. Not just the presumed deaths of Bertholdt and Annie but also his immense guilt over the things he did.

I think the fact that he resorts to suicide the moment he’s confronted with the idea of going back to Paradis is a good indication of how little he’s processed his emotions.

That said, he doesn’t react strongly when people mention Bertholdt which tells me that he’s accepted it factually. But in my head, Reiner hasn’t bothered to confront the emotional reality of the loss (among a ton of other things) because he’s got his finish line.

In addition to that, there’s nobody for him to talk to about Bertholdt in Marley. Everyone back home only knew 11 y/o Bert, not the 16 y/o he developed into. Reiner also can’t admit to the fact that the two experienced a big shift in their worldview together (eg- island devils don’t exist.)

So it wouldn’t be until after the Rumbling that he has to contend with a lot of his unresolved trauma, including the grief of losing his best friend. (And potentially his love interest/boyfriend depending on who you ask.)

Best case scenario is his friends/family proactively encourage his healing and don’t let him run away. Worst case scenario, he goes full distraction mode (my HC is workaholism) and won’t admit there’s a problem until he falls apart.

Some talk about my relevant long fic below the cut

My fic is gonna be about the worst case scenario because I want to dig into the emotional aspects of his character. Namely his unresolved grief, childhood emotional trauma, and queerness.

Plus I want to write about how trauma feels, having been on my own healing journey. It’s kind of a vent fic that spun out into a full narrative that I really need to write an outline for lol.

It’s gotten a bit complicated with multiple POV’s/plot threads so I’m taking my time. I watched a video recently talking about the pitfalls of serialized fiction. I’d like to avoid some of the bigger ones, namely putting in scenes/details with no narrative purpose.

Not everything needs to be Chekov’s gun but I’m sure you know how it is 🤭 so an outline is gonna help a lot. But I feel pretty good about the main story beats! I could talk about my fic a lot more but I’ll leave it here.

[yuhi-san]

Alright for trigun fanfiction appreciation week by @trigunfanfic I made a small fic record, though I might add more

In the meadow by @eomma-jpeg

Rating M

Tags: Milly has a Savior Complex, No Smut, Slow Burn, farm life, Knives Redemption, Hints at Vashmeryl, but I have other plans for them, POV Multiple, Post-Canon, Post-AnimeTrimax influences, Character Study, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety, Mutual Pining, References to both Millywood and Vashwood

ngl I just opened it because I was starved for ‘post series knives needs to learn how to live with people’ content. I thought Millyknives was just a case of pairing the ‘leftovers’ but I figured the rest might bee good.

It is so, so good and also, not a case of pairing the leftovers (if you think you don’t care for millyknives, this story will probably convert you lol).

Its 98 trigun with some trimax and stampede elements (Roberto!!). its sweet, its funny, they have ups and downs and without wanting to spoil anything, I love how it does explore that a lot of knives hate for humans stems from fear.

All the original character are great, everyone gets their time to shine, vashmeryl are so cute and silly

Sinking sand by @rainflamestudio

Rating T

Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Found Family, Whump, Smoking, because Wolfwood is here, Trust Issues, Friendship, Mixed Canon, Alien Biology, Nick's dying but he walks it off, dadberto, Nick learns he has friends, Panic Attacks, Sensory Overload

We all love some hurt comfort for vash but this time its wolfwoods turn! he’ is not having a good time but cant ask for help either. Not that this is topping vash, meryl and Roberto from coming to his rescue and staying by his side no matter what.

Hot water by OpticalCrown

Rating G

Tags:   Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Chronic Pain, Character Analysis, Light Angst

A short story about sleeping arrangements, the things vash so desperately wants to hide but Roberto and Wolfwood notice anyway

 

New growth by @puffinpastry

Ongoing

Rating T

Tags: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Millions Knives-centric (Trigun), Depression, Implied Mpreg, Mostly trimax with some tristamp for seasoning, Trans Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Trans Millions Knives (Trigun), Millions Knives domestication arc, Brief suicidal ideation, Knives gets to heal but hes got to confront his past first, Angst with a Happy Ending, past trans male pregnancy, Knives doesn't know how to interact with kids, Silly but its buried under all their issues, Hey knives what if you were confronted with the forgiveness of a small child?

Still ongoing but very good knives has to learn to live with people, specifically vash. its very well written, I love knives in this and the struggle he and vash both have, especially because vash cant just move ast what had happened, even though he kinda wishes he cold. cute kids, also bless wolfwood

The heaviness we’ve known  by @cosmictapestry

 Rating T

Tags: Heart-to-Heart, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Vash the Stampede has Prosthetic Legs (Trigun), Caretaking, past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Violence, Vash the Stampede's Scars (Trigun), Body Modification, Father-Son Relationship, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Episode Tag, Parent-Child Relationship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Unresolved Tension, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Vash the Stampede Needs a Hug (Trigun)

Look, I love trisamp brad and his relationship to vash. he didn’t do right from the start but he cares so much and this one is just, oof. Goes deeper in the lost tech that keeps vash together and the pain he has from it and how little brad and others sometimes can do. Set after episode 9.

Ricochet by @heffawhump

Rating G

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Sick Character, Poisoning, Caretaking, Hidden Injury, BAMF!Meryl Stryfe, dad!berto, Fluff

Classic hurt comfort and sick character. Very well written, absolutely in love with the gang ready to kick anyones ass that wants vash harm. get them, meryl

Never understood a word by @aboxthecolourofheartache

Rating T

Tags: Road Trips, Introspection, Character Study, Developing Friendships, Trust Issues, Trust, Loneliness, Treasure Hunting, Brotherly Angst, Dysfunctional Family, POV Alternating, Developing Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, the inherent vulnerability of bringing someone to a favorite location, the inherent sanctity of natural places, eccentricity as plot device, Vulnerability, several instances of blink and you miss it Trimax-flavored Plant lore, Singing

Absolutely amazing story and character study about vash from the view of Roberto, meryl and Wolfwood. Love how it shows that there is so much rage and other emotions bubbling under vashs cheerful attitude because knives tormenting him one way or another is not so easily brusched of. But my favorite part might be that it also shows vashs silly and clumsy persona isn’t all fake either, rather it is an exaggeration of genuine traits he has. Also some really great Roberto rep!

Like Eden by @revenantpoet / @revenantghost

Also known as untitled E fic lol

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, narrative poetry, Frottage, Vash the Stampede Has Plant-Like Genitalia (Trigun), Sexual Inexperience, First Time, They're so in love and they're stupid about it, Written as Vash being demi and Wolfwood being grey but, All I know is Vash is Wolfwood, sexual and Wolfwood is Vashsexual ok, Emotional Sex, Trauma, the usual Guilt, This was supposed to be a quick pwpIt is not, Canon Compliant

Look, I’m not usually one for poetry stile and it never occurred to me before to give it a try. It’s worth getting over the hang up though. It ready very nicely, like following Vash’s thoughts which fits soo well for the situation. Also we need more fics where they get some time after the sandsteamer disaster. And especially of vash getting the chance to show ww the geodome and for him to have a chance to be actually comforted after what happened to livio. It’s a really sweet one, though of course Wolfwood and vash cant make things too easy on themselves… communication is hard isn’t it boys

sorry if this looks all so messy, i have no idea how people have the nerve and patience to put thing togetehr nicely. I might do another list later in the week because there are so many lol

maybe a seperate E list, too (Like eden gets to be here because in my opinion it isn't really that much about the smut and its smal compared to everything else going on.)

[nikoshinigami]

My Takes on KHR Pairings

No one asked for it, but I do so love me some character analysis and head-canons. So here are my personal justifications and thoughts on 8059, D18, 6927, and 10051

8059 This is canon, isn't it? I don't even need to explain how Gokudera is the pressure Yamamoto needs in his life to apply himself and Yamamoto is the grace Gokudera needs in his life to not be so hard on himself? Even their fighting styles support each other. They are dating in the manga as far as I'm concerned. If you didn't read the manga and think half the reason Gokudera was so loud about his hate for Yamamoto was basically Unresolved Sexual Tension and Gay Panic, then I can't help you. The canon speaks for itself, and it speaks loudly. Where most KHR pairings tend to be of the 'two sides of the same coin' verity, these two are opposites attract.

D18 Dino and Hibari have the same core values. They protect their territory, they inspire their subordinates, they are respected leaders, and they love a good fight. They both admire and respect individual potential and don't garner unrealistic expectations of others--they know there are exceptions and not everyone can rise to their level, but those who can had better get their act together.

Dino initially sees a wild and beautiful brat of a creature when he looks at Hibari but learns to see his kindness and fairness as he reflects on their similarities. Hibari sees a never-ending battle that in truth he hopes does go on forever, because he's never before had someone in his life who could break him down, bare and bloody, no tricks and no respect lost, day after day, and follow it up with the proper care after to ensure they can both continue in the morning. There's the rocky post-trauma start considering the last time Hibari thought he was walking into a fair fight, he was deceived, tortured, and kidnapped all thanks to mafia foolery (Fuck you, Mukuro~). But after a while in the woods, knowing this time he won't be left to rot with many of his bones broken, trust and respect are built and last a lifetime.

The man with the bronco on his arm hasn't broken in the wild creature, because he himself has been considered a force of nature and he knows it's best to let wild things run free. Hibari is allowed to be his weird, unintentionally funny, and aggressively possessive self, while Dino gets to bask in that feeling of being the only one at a house party that the cat will let pet it, seeing the softer side of Hibari that others might see but still never quite understand the meaning behind.

Respect and admiration turn to passion and reverence. Even if mafia politics only ever let it be sexual trysts, their mutual assertiveness makes it a high-adrenaline encounter that lets Dino really let loose and enjoy enforcing his dominance since his partner needs him to prove he's worthy every single time, even if only for pretense. Meanwhile, Hibari gets to be gentle and quietly seductive with Dino in ways no one would believe, relishing in the power he has over the allied Don even without lifting a finger. In the end, it's a power play for both of them that works because Hibari doesn't prioritize a win so much as he is enjoying each fight, and Dino, head of his territory's criminal organization by birthright, needs to feel like he earned it sometimes in a way only adversity can prove.

6927 Put each on either side of a window and they'd think they were looking in a mirror. Mukuro was a child abused by the mafia, his future stolen from him for its ambitions without any consideration for his own wants and desires, made close friends with others put in the same position as him, has a strong desire to protect those close to him even at the sacrifice of his own life and security, and tends to overcome adversity against the odds--prison even proving only an inconvenience as he continues to exist in the wider world mentally at least. Tsuna is a child currently facing abuse within the mafia, his future stolen from him because Vongola decided his fate without any consideration for his own wants and desires. He's made close friends with others now pulled into the mafia's schemes beside him, has a strong desire to protect those close to him even at the sacrifice of his own life and security, and tends to overcome adversity against the odds--even seasoned assassins failing to take him down. In the end, they both came to the same conclusion: the mafia is corrupt and should be burned to the ground. Mukuro has been planning the destruction of the mafia since childhood, and Tsuna told Primo he would not uphold those evils but tear it all down. Mukuro's abuse is exponentially more egregious than Tsuna's, but with that, his reactions and responses to that trauma are also more exaggerated. At the end of the day, though, you have Tsuna forced on a transformative journey, and Mukuro who, having been there and come through the other side, possesses the knowledge that there is no excuse good enough to excuse this and no punishment more fitting than annihilation.

Because of this, though, Mukuro has a kindness towards Tsuna. A curiosity. He recognizes the fact that the mafia as it exists will destroy Tsuna and try to reshape him into something else. He didn't know Tsuna before their fight--he expected someone like Xanxus, someone already made cruel and warped by ambition. He didn't know he was advancing Vongola's objectives by engaging with him, but in his defeat like saw like. Their mental bond is almost a subconscious reaction to guilt at being a pawn yet again in another mafia family's power play and wanting to warn against obeying the established authority presented to Tsuna. Mukuro refuses any show of vulnerability, but without thinking about it, has shown Tsuna that he cares about people and that he's suffering. Reborn does not want Tsuna to forget about Mukuro's crimes and to potentially stop seeing him as a threat just yet, but Tsuna has regret about the Vindice taking the Kokuyou crew back to prison--sees them rightfully as victims and wants better for them than more mafia 'justice' when it was the mafia that created them in the first place.

Tsuna, whether by their bond or his intuition, sees through Mukuro in a way no one else can. He can cut through his bullshit, recognize when he's lying or being obtuse to avoid vulnerability, and see the frown hidden behind the smile. Mukuro, on the other hand, keeps Tsuna from the evils of complacency. Cognitive dissonance makes it easier to stop fighting your morals and go along with what everyone else is telling you you have to do when you have no alternatives. His right hand is a mafia shill, his other friends trust him and the mentors who have gotten them this far which were supplied by the mafia. Mukuro alone can and will comment on the true moral failings of the mafia and has no reservations in doing so. If ever Tsuna needs to feel like he's doing the right thing, all he needs to do is look to Mukuro for confirmation.

Mukuro is also the only one Tsuna can let his guard down around fully as a mafia boss. Gokuders is a fixer--if Tsuna vents to him, Gokudera takes it upon himself to tackle the problem rather than simply listen. Yamamoto is an optimist--if Tsuna vents to him, Yamamoto tries to cheer him up and make him feel better. When Tsuna vents to Mukuro, it's shit talking time and every petty bone in the illusionist's body is happy to be in on the action. Gurl, go on~ He enjoys some catty behavior and acknowledging that a lot of people are the worst and everything sucks is a topic he is here for. Does it help anything? No. But Tsuna feels heard and seen and validated and that is important. They grow closer because it's only with Mukuro that Tsuna gets that validation and he trusts Mukuro's perspective because they understand where each other is coming from. And Mukuro is never so loyal as to hold back on telling him he's being a dumbass--something the others might refrain from doing out of respect for their Boss.

Neither of them has strong, familial bonds. Tsuna was neglected and Mukuro was.. given up to human experimentation. They both crave soft, cozy, warm love and affection. Cuddles on the couch, maintaining touch throughout sleep to feel assured the other is there and assure them of the same, gentle caresses and soft, sweet kisses. It's almost a platonic love where playing with each other's hands and fingers is a high level of intimacy. They could probably be fulfilled and happy and loved without sex in their relationship. Which is good, because Tsuna is trying so hard to conform to what he thinks a straight teenager should be, he hasn't even had time to figure out who he actually is, while Mukuro has spent his life so untrusting and full of hate, the question has never required an answer.

10051 If Amano had written Byakuran a backstory, this would be easier to defend. What is Byakuan's perfect world? What's wrong with the current world in his opinion? What is he? Where did he come from? These would be really helpful to know. But instead, we learn about him through Shouichi. We learn they went to the same university so Byakuran is likely similarly a mechanic/engineer--or my choice of physicist (theoretical) if going to a school for sciences. We know they collaborate well together since they devised Choice, and that Shouichi is a simp for his charisma. We know Shouichi trusted and believed in Byakuran enough to join his mafia family and take on ranks and titles under him. We know Byakuran believed in Shouichi enough to give him it all, and even after their time at college, they both wanted to be invested in each other's lives forever (the mafia is not something you walk away from). We know Byakuran legitimately thinks the world of Shouichi, his best friend, even if he would sacrifice him for his ambitions. We know Shouichi legitimately thinks the world of Byakuran, his best friend, even if he would betray him.

While Byakuran is effortlessly endearing and boisterous, Shouichi is quieter and enigmatic. They are the Extrovert who adopted the Introvert trope except Shouichi is no wallflower. Shouichi is courageous, cunning, and manipulative while Byakuran can be playful, caring, and genuine--as well as the reverse. Neither is, necessarily, a better person than the other at their core, and their actions are equally as grey when we don't know what it is that Byakuran wanted to give the world that everyone was trying so hard to stop. Would World Peace have been worth a handful of deaths? The ambiguity leaves a lot to question if you don't fall into the "any sacrifice is too high a cost" set of values.

Strong headcanon, but I believe Byakuran wanted a world that he could be a part of. He is obviously not human, even without the Mare ring he was able to see across alternative dimensions, and he seems to be completely detached from consequences. If you've seen an infinite number of Shouichi's, is there such a thing as the 'real' Shouichi? If you've seen kingdoms rise and fall based on a butterfly's wings, is there any permanence in institutions? If people love you in one world and are indifferent to you in another, which is the truth of their feelings? If all things are possible, then nothing is concretely true, real, or genuine. You are a player character surrounded by NPCs and worlds you can load up as you like where you can simply move on if you get tired of the scenario. Byakuran was already a god, but he was a god railroaded into living a life of limited possibility despite infinite options. I think he wanted one timeline, one truth, one world in which things were perfect and he knew he was with the Shouichi, and he was the Byakuran who got to live his life. This makes the most sense of why they had to stop Byakuran in that future specifically--because all other parallel worlds would cease to exist if the Byakuran of their future specifically won. And if the toll of his victory is an infinite number of casualties, then the stakes are so high that it makes sense why the burden of it crushes Shouichi and physically pains him at every step but also why he still cares deeply for his best friend despite it all. Because he can't offer an alternative solution; there is no cure for the level of insight Byakuran has gained and the level of detachment it has caused him over the decade. Even telling him that no matter how many Shouichi's exist, he is himself and unique and special to Byakuran is hollow because surely every version of himself would wish to think so too. He knows how happy Byakuran would be to live in a "real" world with "real" people and there is no way to give it to him--in fact, he knows he is what caused Byakuran to begin to lose his connection with reality in the first place.

Both of them will lie, cheat, steal, and murder to get what they want. And I think Byakuran is constantly amused when he is reminded of how calculating and cold Shouichi can be. Shouichi, on the other hand, is exasperated by Byakuran's childishness, but uncomfortably attracted to the sheer force of his personality. They are a switch couple. Shouichi hates it when Byakuran starts to treat him like his sweet, docile bottom and will turn the tables on him to prove he is and has always been a perfect match for Byakuran's cunning. And Byakuran doesn't care if he's baby girl or daddy so long as he has a good time. Friends, to lovers, to enemies, to… friends? Their relationship is tangled in the memories of people they will never become. And that makes them even more fascinating.

[loonyoz]

Part of what I love about Wyll is how he feels like a character you have to keep pulling back the layers on. Like one of those 3d puzzles you think you’ve got figured out and then you realize you’re right back where you started. Which I guess is just the long way of saying he's a well made character. I’m gonna do a play by play of my first interactions with him to illustrate my point:

When you first meet him you’re like omfg who is this boy with the dramatic theater kid entrance lmao. Wyll, you are so dorky (affectionate).

You next see him helping tiefling kids learn to fight. Not in a harsh militaristic way, more in a gentle and even playful way (eg. When you play as Wyll you can tell them dramatic stories about how Wyll slayed a dragon.) You're like oh yeah this guy has the whole hero thing going on. Very disney prince over here.

Then you talk to him and he talks about an evil devil that must be killed with such adamance and determination. You're like oh wow he can get pretty intense. He's so determined about this, he's willing to put aside the pressing threat of ceremorphosis. This kind of unmoving moral stance, this very good and serious abt it thing, it gives off paladin vibes imo

Ok so thats two sides of him, dramatic storybook hero and strong willed paladin.

Then you get to the confrontation with Karlach, and pretty quickly realize this flaming hot cheeto (idk why I called her that ok, but im leaving it in) of a tiefling shouldn't be killed. Wyll takes some convincing and you're like Wyll you dumbass you're seeing what Im seeing right? The tadpole is showing us she's innocent, why dont you believe that?

Then its only till later you realize he had so many good reasons to hesitate:

He has been doing this job for 7 years now, to break off from the script he's used to, is a risky thing. If he cant trust his 7 years of experience he's left floundering. If he cant trust that he's been only killing evil, then he's broken his moral code too. (If I were in his shoes id for sure be having an existential crisis)

He's learned the hard way to distrust devils, what if Karlach is tricking everyone into thinking she's innocent?

Or maybe he's scared of what it will mean if he doesn't kill her, he'll be breaking his pact, and the consequences for that will most definitely be harsh. I don't think that's selfish or cruel of him to consider killing her out of fear of what will happen if he doesn't. I think Wyll would be unfair to himself for those thoughts tho. Like the whole airplane oxygen mask analogy is a good way to talk about it. Wyll would go to every passenger on the plane and make sure their masks are on, then collapse from oxygen deprivation because he never put his own on. Perhaps an extreme and unrealistic scenario, but illustrative of his admirable but harmful self sacrifice.

In summary, his hesitation and need to be convinced shows a lovely amalgamation of his character, his life experience, and his values, and how it results in a moment of conflict and indecision.

But it takes very little to convince him not to kill karlach. You tell him twice that Karlach is no threat/innocent, and he stops panicking, and pulls himself together with the kind of emotional control/repression that makes you go "uh oh babes has unresolved trauma and needs therapy"

His ability to listen to others when people tell him he's wrong shows that he has a flexibility and emotional maturity that is unlike the stereotypical paladin. Once he realizes Karlach is innocent, the rules he follows no longer matter to him.

He resigns himself to his fate because for him there is no other way for it to be. This shows that no matter how theatrical his heroics appear, it is not merely a guise. You can trust that he truly cares for people because he is willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of a stranger.

Then Mizora shows up and his response is to argue against her, to say, "you told me no innocents". Which shows once again where his priorities lie, now that injustice has been pointed out to him he will use every ounce of his will to fight it. It also shows that human weakness again too. His fallibility (I mean who can blame him devils are great manipulators) and his worried questioning of the rules that he has followed for so long.

And then when you put all the drama aside, and listen to his lighthearted dialogue you remember/realize he’s also very goofy and the kind of chill guy you’d want to invite to every friend hangout.

asfgjkl; anyway I have way too many thoughts and feelings abt this guy. If you read all this damn. But lmk what you guys think about my reflections!

Also shoutout to all of the fic writers and random fan posts ive read that have inspired some of these thoughts