#everyone experiences life differently

[tales-from-nocturnaliss]

Apparently I did something wrong with one reblog. Let it be said and known I never mean to hurt people with the things I do or say. Doesn't mean it never happens.

However, I am deeply shaken by the fact that, as I've read on other Tumblrs before, even within a single disorder family - autism, here - there can be so much anger and hatred towards fellow autistics who think/feel/function differently.

It's a spectrum for a reason.

On top of that, life itself is a spectrum. Experiences, age, environment, all have an impact on who and what you become, on top of having a brain that works so differently from societal norm that, as in my case, you can spend 42 years of life trying to figure out wtf is wrong with yourself and one day find an answer by pure chance.

Am I lucky my symptoms are mild/bearable? No. They've been worse to the point I almost stabbed my husband once, a few years ago, in a complete meltdown. It would've been an accident. I still can't forget that happened and the sheer terror of realizing a fraction of a second later what was happening against my will.

I spent two years in utter suffering. Stressed beyond bearable. In physical pain. In mental anguish. Ignored or unhelped by so-called experts while seeking medical attention and ruling out option by option, never finding what was wrong... until a friend mentioned she thought she was autistic, I looked into it, and realized that was it.

There is no single way to be autistic. Some have it worse, some have it better. A friend of mine never had a meltdown. Another is able to hold a fulltime job. Yet another has oft debilitating panic attacks. I spent thirty years of my life with mind-consuming anxieties (ten years of which with social phobia, fifteen-ish with intense time anxieties - which I only now got control on thanks to plant supplements that help ADHD!), depression, limited endurance, ever ever guilting myself for not being good enough, strong enough, smart enough, resilient enough...

Every experience is valid and real.

And, sometimes, one person really only reblogs a picture because it speaks to them, and nothing else. No ill intention. Only a moment of relating.

Edit: let it be said that, in the meantime, the miscommunication was smoothed out and myself and the hurt party talked things over. And I learned a couple of things regarding how Tumblr works (I really, really am not Tumblr savvy, I'm old gen and been on internet since '99).

One thing for sure, I now understand how reblogs work and how not to use them. <<

[rainyhowls]

thinking abt how my therianthropy is such a casual part of me now. when i first realized i was nonhuman i thought that if i wasnt constantly thinking abt my theriotype and how unhappy i am abt physically being a human i was a faker and a fraud who just wanted to be special. but now i can confidently say "yeah im a wolf" without feeling like I need to prove myself to anyone.

[bonefall]

the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.

Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."

As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.

If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.

I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."

And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!

Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.

"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.

In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.

In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.

All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.

They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.

(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)

Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.

You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.

[urfavcrime]

dsmp is still SO insane to me. still not completely convinced it wasn't a social experiment. it is something that can never be replicated again due to the really specific circumstances that attributed to it's creation and popularity

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 275

Pokemon crossover? Indeed. Because there’s so many ghost pokemon, and many that are specifically stated to be dead children that I bet? They would absolutely adore the Dannies. In fact? They adore the entire Team Phantom. 

Who are in fact on vacation, taking a summer to not have to deal with ghosts. Do they know what Fright Knight is doing back home? No, but they’re on vacation and don’t care. Look at these lil guys! Tucker, don’t steal the rotom- oh they’ve adopted you? Okay. Fair enough. 

Now their world? Pokemon doesn’t exist. And by that I mean not even as a game or series or anything. So it is new and fun and like exploring the zone all over again! 

They’re having fun, making friends with people and pokemon alike. Danny has discovered that pokepuffs don’t become violent if revived and many of his new friends love having snacks they can chase after. Dan absolutely delights in taking care of more than a couple of the evil organizations- and there might have been a cult form, no one asked. 

They had to drag Tucker away from several bits of technology, quite literally drag him. And they had to carefully drag several pokemon away from Valerie because they adore her and her suit. Sam- erm, where did Sam and Ellie- oh there they are. Oh Ellie found a clone friend and Sam. Sam that’s a legendary. 

…

That’s so cool! But like, they do have to go back home- oh, oh they’re coming with. That’s a lot of pokemon. Oh well, it’s fine. They brought souvenirs for their friends and family and plenty of plants- like Sam would let them not do so. 

So now they’re home and with… okay that’s way more friends than they thought, but it’s fine! Let’s go see- oh hey Frighty, erm, what do you mean heroes arrived?? We don’t have much of an issue anymore???

Fright, teacher of theirs, where are the heroes, did you toss them out- FRIGHT-

[jackdaniel69nice]

the fact that tokoyami could be considered one of the more important members of 1-A and we still got JACK SHIT about his backstory is so wild to me

like you have this whole idea of him cherishing the relationships he has so deeply to the point of an emotional breakdown whenever someone he cares about gets hurt and you DONT TELL US WHY???

like this boy is so incredibly hard on himself despite improving faster than the majority of his peers and WE DONT KNOW WHY???

my delusional ass was WAITING. for THREE YEARS. and we got nothing. the disappointment i felt was just immeasurable.

My god you are so right. It IS really disappointing. I honestly had no expectations for tokoyami backstory because I had always thought of him as a background character when I got into mha in 2017-2019. The story was still new then but when I returned last year there was so much more tokoyami had become. He plays an absolutely vital role but is treated as a supporting character. We knew him long before hawks but he was obviously pushed aside in favor of the winged hero. There is so much subtle writing about tokoyami especially him potentially having hurt or even killed people in the past. Dark Shadow is such an interesting quirk and character but they are never truly addressed for their insane power.

I would like to think tokoyami would have gotten his own character arc eventually if the ending hadn’t been so rushed for whatever reason. It would have probably been a very large undertaking and I can see how it wouldn’t have been able to fit into the tight schedule. He’s not even mentioned in the epilogue, only seen, despite clearly being one of the strongest characters and would at least be top 10.

I’m so sorry anon that your dreams were crushed. I hope my silly headcanons and stories bring you some closure, I do try to stay as close to canon as possible. Although I am aware my personal experiences and feelings certainly influence my ideas without me realizing. Perhaps you could drop in my dms at some point so we can share thoughts :)

[angryducktimemachine]

I think what I personally really enjoy about AroAce Rudyard is that I know, in my heart, that he would not ONCE spend a single thought thinking he was broken. This man is fully convinced everyone else is just being unnecessarily weird, which really resonates with me, who also spend like 22 years of his life not even considering the possibility that there's something "wrong" with me and that everyone else is simply a little overdramatic over love and sex.

[griem]

ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.

#opinion 😱 in tags

[science-lings]

I have very specific thoughts about Bruce's 'childhood' and how he tried to do things differently with Dick than what happened with him because of how badly it affected him. He knows what it's like to have everything change so fast and to be so angry but too young to actually do anything about it.

I can see him making sure Dick doesn't get too close of a look at his parents because Bruce remembers being stuck with his parent's corpses until the police got there, all alone with no other way to call for help than screaming. I can see him hiding Dick from the flashing cameras and hiding any newspapers about the 'story' so that Dick doesn't have to see how the press spins everything. Bruce has that picture of himself sitting shellshocked from the ambulance on the front page and he knows how violating that felt, how publicized his trauma was, even if he can't completely prevent it for Dick he can do his best to make it hurt less.

Bruce suffered being helpless for years, being so angry at Gotham and the world and not having a good outlet for it, he had no control over anything that was happening with him, so with DIck he knows how important being Robin became because he knows how becoming Batman felt for him. Bruce got into fights because he couldn't hold his anger in and had to turn that anger inward in fear that Alfred would get sick of him and leave too. Robin was a productive outlet, even if it was a dangerous one, but who knows what would've happened to him if he didn't have it? He already got that taste of freedom and feeling like his intervention could actually make a difference that Bruce took years and years of stewing in trauma to find.

The most important thing to Bruce is that Dick doesn't become another Batman.

[gingermintpepper]

Day 1: Apollo

Interpretation notes and trivia under the cut!

His interpretation for my work is based very much around the concept of his manifestation as the Radiant God of the String. Because of this, quite like Hecate, he’s triple-fold and occupies three major spaces; the string of Fate and therefore prophecy, the bowstring and therefore distance and destruction and the lyrestring and therefore music and order. He’s a somewhat melancholy figure all things considered - Fate and following Fate’s tennants is something that he struggled a lot with as a child and even now as a more mature deity, the only solution he’s truly found is to take things one day at a time. Very diligent and fastidious, he’s a hard worker and tends to put his everything into completing any task set before him which also tends to work to his disadvantage since he’s prone to becoming tunnel-visioned until he’s finished what he said he would finish. His family orchestrated his winter breaks because he had the nasty habit of working himself sick when he was still very young.

Apollo is generally represented by circles in my work - priests of Apollo will be marked with at least three circles on their face and usually wear triangular jewellry (typically earrings or necklace charms) to reflect the triple-nature of their god. His favoured colour is a rich, deep blue and while he typically wears elaborate eye paint, he rarely uses face powders. Wears gem-toned blues for his lips unless in mourning where he will leave himself unadorned and unpainted out of respect.

Some quick trivia: 

Was born identical to Artemis even though they were born (years) apart. Had brown hair, wolf’s ears and fangs and horns when he was a child but never manifested those features again after his penance for slaying Python. If he’s very stressed or angry, sometimes his fangs will show. The brown of his hair grew out to blond naturally as he developed and matured as a god.

Proficient in all instruments but has always especially preferred stringed instruments. Truly unmatched with a kithara but only uses it for special occasions and official meetings. Generally prefers his lyre for every day usage

Really good at sewing and braiding strings together due to the exercises he had to do while under the tutelage of the Moirai sisters. Can’t weave since Athena banned him from touching a loom but he does like watching her spin. The one time she caught him trying to replicate her patterns with a needle and thread, she complained to Zeus that he had broken his oath. He teases her about that even now.

Was the last of the Twelve to learn how to read and write because he hates letter systems and finds it too arbitrary. Prior to the collaboration that resulted in written letter systems, everyone was perfectly fine with remembering the important stuff and encoding the rest in artistic format such as tapestries, pottery, furniture and jewellry. Apollo himself has a truly formidable memory since he’s been composing and immortalising the events and histories of the world in song since he was very young. He finds written books very dull but Clio’s very insistent about written histories being important and convenient so reluctantly, he’s given permission for his songs and poems to be -gags- transcribed and written down.

Is only called Apollo by his parents, Artemis and Dionysus. Hermes rarely calls him by name in general and the others, including other siblings like Ares and Athena, have always called him Phoebus. Interestingly, Zeus usually calls him Phoebus but will call him Apollo when they are alone or when he’s being especially serious. Apollo is completely comfortable with either name but he does see Phoebus as a bit more formal than Apollo. (Despite his best efforts, both Calliope and Clio also still stubbornly call him Phoebus though he’s fairly sure it’s mostly because they know it bothers him.)

[arsenicflame]

Izzy Hands can have a little "thinking hes incapable of feeling love" as a treat (for me. the treat is for me)

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

[canisalbus]

Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds I’ve ever seen in any art ever

.

[doodlejoltik]

my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator

[goldensunset]

the gravity falls renaissance is messing with my head because i keep seeing the same level of dramatic artwork of middle aged/old men on my dash in a very particular style akin to the way people post about like. superwholock. like it’s that kind of vibe. but this is for the disney cartoon i grew up with. the first episode features a gnome barfing rainbows

[koka-mi]

I wish I were normal :[