#everyone except Cas and Crowley I mean

[cheridraws]

So I made it through season six of my spn rewatch

I hate the fact that season 6 is probably one of my favorite seasons because of the concepts and ideas for it, but the execution is just. not great and it sours everything for me

Like… I loved the plot point of Cas, in a desperate act to defeat Raphael, making a deal with Crowley, then letting his ego get in the way so much that he really thinks he can handle the entire power of purgatory. AND that he didn’t tell Dean until it’s revealed in the final few episodes, where everything falls apart around him!! Actually all of the Cas/Crowley stuff this season is really good. And even his act of saving Sam, but Sam coming back *wrong*… like, all of those plot points are really good and I really like them; it makes for a cool analysis of Cas’s character in the earlier seasons (aka his new free will that he’s not used to mixed with his desire to protect the winchesters at all costs)

…But the execution always makes me sad because season 6 *could* be my favorite season, but the majority of the episodes are kind of a bog to get through. Like… the soulless-Sam episodes are a huge meh for me (like there are good parts and parts that made me laugh but like. those episodes are generally hard for me to get through) and I didn’t really enjoy them. There’s also a lot of filler episodes which? okay? each season has filler but this one for me made it really feel like nothing actually happens for the majority of the season. Not much plot stuff happens until Eve finally shows up, and that’s with like 4 or 5 episodes left in the season

Idk. I really love the concepts for this season, and it’s probably one of my favorite Cas-es, but it just kinda upsets me that the execution wasn’t as good as it could be. In my opinion, anyways. That’s probably bc they had to rush to make a new season after suddenly getting a new one after their planned s5 ending but. yeagh

I will say it’s my favorite season to consume art of, bc the concepts are fascinating and it’s funny to dunk on their three episode break up with Cas okay

All of this is obviously my opinion tho so feel free to disagree with all of it

Welp… onto season 7!

[nym-wibbly]

wait, you hadn't seen spn when you posted the good omens wip? the language with the angels is so similar and everything?

Nope. Pratchett fan of many years, completely new to Supernatural these past three months (with the exception of Cas' love confession, cuz I think everyone on the internet who didn't know to duck and cover in advance got sp*ilered for it that night in 2020.) Something of a lifelong thing for fictional angels, though.

I went with a quasi-Judeo-Christian-theological, liturgical, and poetic vocabulary for the Heaven and Hell/angel and demon stuff. More straight-up/slightly unintentionally ironic for Aziraphale, who wants to take it all at face value (even when he can't); more filtered through the questions of Milton's Paradise Lost, and more despairing and hurting, for fallen angel Crowley.

Muriel's dialogue has a touch of the innocence and wonder of catechism - a discovery, a flowering that opens up to them through the spoken and written word. They question without hidden motive.

Metatron's got a smidge of the manipulative certainty of commercially-driven televangelism: clinical, cynical, tailored for maximum impact on his target audience (Aziraphale). A performance.

I'd guess the Supernatural writers did much the same, cherrypicking for whichever aspect bolstered their storyline or character at the time! Throw a rock at the English language and you'll hit a Judeo-Christian concept somewhere, somehow. "Grace", "vessel", "the Michael Sword" and so on - that stuff paints a lyrical picture that "essence", "body", and "archangel's avatar" couldn't, because it pulls hard on sources rooted so deep in English prose and poetry that we infer deeper meanings without, necessarily, ever giving them a moment's thought before. I'd guess that Good Omens itself influenced Supernatural, too?

A lot of scriptural and liturgical vocabularly and cadence is hardwired into the lyrical use of the English language via influential sources like the King James Bible and the Book of Common Prayer.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," tells us a boatload about Castiel's mindset before he even reveals to Dean that he's "an angel of the Lord". Then he's taken aback when Dean doesn't believe him - challenges him and keeps on pushing back; Cas expects this shit to be hardwired into Dean's brain and for Dean to respond accordingly by bending at the knees. Shock and awe using language.

They spend most of season 4 in that state of disconnect, barely communicating even when they both try, because Dean's just not doing "because it's God's will/because I say so", not for anyone or anything; he won't respond to that portentous vocabulary and Cas struggles to adapt to that (not least because he gets brutally punished when he tries).

Put 'em away Cas.

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Abandon All Hope

Welcome to “If the Female Character Has Agency In Her Own Death, Does It Still Count as Fridging?: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s5e10: Abandon All Hope.

Cas tracks down Crowley, and Sam and Dean then go to confront him, hoping to retrieve the Colt. Crowley hands over the Colt on his own, telling the boys he wants Luci dead because he suspects that Luci will kill all the demons. He tells them where to find Luci, and after an evening at Bobby’s, Sam, Dean, Cas, Jo, and Ellen head to Carthage, Missouri, to go devil hunting. Things go awry immediately—the town is deserted, except for dozens of Reapers, who Cas claims only gather in such numbers when a mass death is in the offing. Meg arrives, taunts her some Winchesters, summons some hell hounds, and sends the boys and co. running. Jo gets big maimed, and with Dean consulting with Bobby over a short-wave radio and barely keeping it together, Jo convinces everyone that they need to build a bomb in the hardware store they’re sheltering in and let her stay to blow it up so the others can escape the hell hounds and continue looking for Luci. We get kind of a great and painful death scene for Jo and Ellen, who can’t stand to leave Jo to die on her own, and Sam and Dean take off to find Luci. And find him, they do, and Sam shoots him. The end. Ha! YOU THOUGHT. The Colt can’t kill the devil, silly. Oops. Cas swoops the boys back to Bobby’s, and they all have A Moment over Jo and Ellen.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

Mace:

CROWLEY YAAASSSS

Lor:

YAAAAAAAAAS

Lor:

I always forget he doesn't have a beard at the start

Mace:

he is so adorable

Mace:

AND THAT VOICE

Lor:

YES

Mace:

oooh peeping Cas, eh?

Lor:

awwww Cas hiding behind his pillar

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Mace:

“its…going…down"

Mace:

HUGGY BEAR

Mace:

OMG

"it's going... down"

Lor:

HUGGY BEAR

Lor:

DEAN

Lor:

"took you long enough" I love him

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

um. Becky told them and she read it in Chuck's book. How's that rumors, Crowley, my love?

Mace:

“you’re functioning…morons"

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

"yeah, you're functioning... morons" LOLOLOLOLOL

Mace:

CROWLEY just standing there when Sam tries to shoot him

Mace:

OMG HE’S AMAZING

YAAAAAAS

Mace:

“HOW ABOUT YOU DONT MISS OKAY?! MORONS!"

Mace:

I. LOVE. HIM.

Lor:

I love when he gets all angry

Mace:

YES

Lor:

omg Cas

Lor:

he's adorable

Mace:

YES

Mace:

and Ellen is an idiot for thinking she could drink him under the table

Lor:

"thank you again for your continued support"

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

“since when have we ever done anything smart"

Lor:

"since when have we ever done anything smart"

Lor:

YES

Dean. No.

Lor:

right?

Lor:

I mean, among other things, Cas is RIGHT THERE

Mace:

There’s a perfectly good angel just over there, idiot

Mace:

HAHAHAHA OMG

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Mace:

But Jo. sleeping with a hot dude on your own terms is not losing self-respect.

Lor:

the look Dean gives Cas. you could try again, hon

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

YES

Lor:

you stick those flip phones out the car windows, boys, you stick em out good

Mace:

HAHAHA

“of course I have" CAAAAAAAS

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

well spotted, Ellen

Mace:

CREEPY AS HELL

Mace:

SNORK

Lor:

YES

Lor:

she annoys me SO HARD

Mace:

AGREED

Mace:

this is what you get when dudebros try to write a strong woman character

Lor:

YYYEP

Lor:

"I came alone" aw Cas

Lor:

"I'm told you came here in an automobile"

Lor:

"slow. confining" hAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

“what a peculiar thing you are” Gay, Lucifer. The proper term is gay.

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES

Mace:

Oh sweet Dean. That scared face

Lor:

ooooof Dean's face when he realizes it's hellhounds

Lor:

YES

Mace:

YES

Lor:

hellhounds on your trail, boy

Mace:

oh. look out, jo.

Lor:

oh. no. jo. do not get ripped to shreds. oh no

Mace:

should have slept with the hottie hunter when you had the chance, girl.

Lor:

LOL

the best part of this is how it affects Dean and as much I don't care about Jo I HATE that they killed off a female character for the effect it would have on one of the heroes and IT WORKS

Mace:

yeah

Lor:

god this scene bt Bobby and Dean

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“the devil’s in the details, Dean"

Lor:

YES

Lor:

"I've died several times myself"

Mace:

HA

Mace:

poor Dean. he is FRAYED

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

he is so close to falling apart

Mace:

HE IS

Lor:

I could hold him together

Mace:

uhhuh. such a sacrificer, you

Lor:

that's me. always ready to take one for the team

Mace:

indeed

Lor:

god his FACE

Mace:

YES

Lor:

when he gets out of this situation, I will be speaking to him about leaving the “rather” out of the phrase "sooner rather than later"

Mace:

HA

Mace:

DEAN. Her innards are outards. She doesn’t feel like macking right now.

Lor:

RIGHT?

I wish they had left it at the forehead kiss

Mace:

right?!

Mace:

I’m not an Ellen fan either, but I do like the dynamic here of not leaving her daughter but choosing to die with her

Lor:

also that he hadn't tried to sleep with her earlier. it feels out of character (unless he was just looking for comfort and that's the only way he knows how to try to find any. but still. it's Jo. he's not into her)

Lor:

YES

Mace:

(yep)

Mace:

(I’m convinced that these occasional eps in which Dean acts un-Dean-like are all written by the same person)

Lor:

(yeah I wouldn't be surprised)

Mace:

UGH. the fact that Ellen has to experience Jo dying first. GAH

Lor:

RIGHT?

and that it was her refusal to leave her that made this work. bc Jo died before she could have set the bomb off

Mace:

YES

Mace:

they both can’t really believe it would be that easy and you can see it in their faces

Lor:

I love the faces like even they don't believe at first that it was that easy

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Mace:

YES

Lor:

ooof Sammy

Mace:

yeah

Mace:

huh. a little Dark Side dialogue there, guys

Lor:

ha!

Mace:

cloud-hopping pansies is such a good insult

Lor:

YES

he just stone-cold throws her over the holy fire and uses her as a bridge daaaaang

Mace:

he can be such a badass when he needs

Lor:

YAAAAAAS

Mace:

why take the commemorative photo if you’re just gonna burn it?

Lor:

i was JUST thinking that!

Mace:

such drama queens

Lor:

...maybe he's afraid their spriits could latch onto it and not move on?

Mace:

huh

Mace:

I’m sticking with drama queens as the reason

Lor:

or maybe someone just thought it was be a cool shot and they needed a bit of business bc otherwise SDandB and just standing there like dopes

Lor:

YES

Mace:

snork

 

[after the episode ended:]

Lor:

so I was just grabbing this convo to dump in a word doc for the post and I was looking at some of our reactions to Cas and Luci talking to each other and I had a thought (I feel like this ought to be obvious but). The behaviours in Cas that read like autism are CAS behaviours, not angel behaviours. none of the other angels are like him. he's the only socially awkward bean who doesn't get sarcasm and takes things literally. that's HIM

Mace:

Oooh, yep, that’s right

[adidegmez]

spn s13 spoilers

s13 ep1(lost and found)

if dean thinks cas is really dead then what did they do to his body? did they burn him, bury him or nothing? jack is just a baby right now. winchesters are maybe not superheroes but they are my heroes. dean is just telling the truth?! he is not okay. he lost everyone he cared except sam. sam is calmer than dean. jack is just a sweet little boy. sam is scared. castiel is jacks father(according to jack at least). thats nice. damian as in damian wayne? i dont think i know anyone else named damian. dean'S prayer… he even add crowley he loved him(sometimes). and Chuck he left and he just doesnt care. he left lucifer on earth. everything happened on this Show is because of him. and i still believe if they raise jack right he will be good. no one is born evil. even if lucifer was a bad guy he was an angel he was the angel. jack is half angel and this is not a bad thing. dean said goodbye to everyone cas, kelly, mom and crowley. and crowley i just cant he said his name with the other people he cared about people he respected and its sad that crowley didnt get to see this. Dean accepted the deaths of all of them. How can he do this? They can still return, why not? and mary did return she is not dead.

s13 ep2(the rising son)

im sos sorry dean but sam is right. He is right on every part of this issue. Jack is not bad, your mother is alive, the only way to save her is with Jack's help. i knew jack was watching scooby i thought dean would let him watch. but i think he needs a little time to know jack. sam is nerveous when talking to jack because he never had an experience with kids like dean had. dean would calm jack down he wouldve known what to do but he is mourning the people he lost and he is angry. and that prevents him see the way that sam sees. sam did a good job with jack. i expected dean to say he is batman but i guess its not the time. lucifer is funny sometimes. good job jack. i think dean will understand jack, eventually. i hope that time comes soon.

s13 ep3(patience)

kelly was a great mother. i get deans point of view but he needs to calm down. it's been a long time missouri. she died! jack really cares about deans opinions just like his dad(cas). dean will get over this and he will be nicw to jack eventually, i just hope it wont be late. yes, sam is the best person to understand jack. this is brilliant. i really love how he treats jack. i love sam. i know dean is in pain but sam is right this is resembles to sam's situation. sam deserved to be saved so does jack. and jack didnt do anything wrong yet he has been on earth like a week. and cas mary it wasnt his fault. dean lost them and he is blaming jack. but its lucifers fault. and jack doesnt deserves a this treatment from dean. dean should help sam save jack. i have always been on the same page as dean always but not this time. i hope dean changes his mind soon. because i need both winchesters in the same page. cas! im glad he is back but if he could return does this mean crowley could return too. and i think i finally understand something. Charlie and now rowena are dead and they wont return cause the story doesnt need them anymore. but i need them to return. i always see spoilers but ive never heard rowenas death. and ive never seen anything about charlie's return. but i want them to return. I didn't even like Rowena that much in the beginning but lately I've started to like her. Charlie is a completely different matter, i always loved her, I need her to come back.

s13 ep4(the big empty)

clone wars!!!!!!! i didnt see that coming. clone wars is my favorite star wars Show. i love ahsoka too but anakin is not bad sam. well he turned to vader but he was a good master palpatine manipulated. i hope jack loves clones. they are my favorite thing about star wars. clones are amazing. dean cas sam and crowley closed the door. crowley sacrificed himself. i think i love jack. cas where are you? why does lucifer need mary? Dean needs to pull himself together as soon as possible, he scares Jack, he even upsets Sam. misha is amazing. finally dean complimented jack. i needed that. finally dean is thinking like sam. thank you dean. cas is back.

s13 ep5(advanced thanatology)

yes, something is wrong with sam. dean wears sunglasses indoors. Do the w's represent how many times the winchesters died? did billie become death? she is death thats not good. I wish Dean hadn't killed death. I loved him. thats a good thing afterall. billie let dean live. Dean lost his faith. But when Cas comes, he will be happy. hi cas. welcome back. look in their eyes. team free will together again.

s13 ep6(tombstone)

cas is back. everyone is happy. i missed you cas. and the hugs. jack did it jack brought him back. team free will 2.0 . dean is back. he really missed cas. his eyes are shining. i missed funny dean. Seeing Dean happy makes me happy. cas… all i can think about is his character development. he is an amazing character. he changed so much. his talk with jack was beautiful. hats, dean is really back. dean finally said it, jack is not a monster. i wish he didnt leave. i hope hell come back.

s13 ep7(war of the worlds)

what happened to mary? So will Michael be the villain of this season? i knew it was kevin. hi kevin! i missed you. i think i would prefer lucifer to that Michael. lucifer is so funny. lucifer is back, Mary stayed in the other World. i thought ketch was a clone. I don't remember seeing anything about clones in this series, but for some reason the first thing that comes to my mind is always clones. But it turned out to be an evil twin. i believe that story hes telling the truth. rowena isnt dead right? cas and lucifer, lucifer is so funny. and he is trying to save the World for himself probably. i believed ketch. asmodeus and ketch, they will trouble the Winchesters. If Dean had said yes to Ketch, would Ketch have worked with them instead of Asmodeus?

s13 ep8(the scorpion and the frog)

supernatural really did everything. now there is a heist episode. and it was funny. yes, i missed hopeful dean. it was nice to see that. Didn't Bart say there were copies of the spell? Couldn't they find them? The bus scene reminded me of the scene where they left Charlie on the bus. i missed Charlie.

s13 ep9(the bad place)

i think jack wants to bring mary back not lucifer. Jack gets very happy when he gets a "good job" from Dean. And that makes me happy too. Jack also joined the family. I love him. dean! why did you treat her like that? well at least jack found mary and the winchesters are together. but idk where kaia is.

s13 ep10(wayward sisters)

claire is getting better at hunting. they are on a hunting trip… they said it again. i like it. i love donna and the others, we should see them more. i love jody. Claire's speech was like the beginning of a new series. I researched but they haven't made a mini series, I hope they tell this story here. i love the girls they are amazing.

s13 ep11(breakdown)

the real fbi is here. The beginnings of the episodes always resemble Criminal Minds. but almost the entire episode was really like cm. garcia would find her quickly. i liked doug. i hoped he would become a hunter. doug and donna were good. come on, first dean now sam they lost hope but it was always like this and they believed this job. but now they are in a dark place. i need hopeful winchesters back.

s13 ep12(various & sundry villans)

lucifer is hilarious. omg not the love spell. not dean please. yes sam save dean. hello boys(crowley said it the best). hi rowena. welcome back. how are you alive? they all forgot about adam. cas loves his son. i love how he talks about jack. Rowena asked about Crowley because she wondered if he might pose a risk to her, right? I wish there were nice mother and son scenes. I don't even think Rowena would be upset about Crowley's death, but I wish she would be. she is sad?! rowena is right. when is lucifer ever gone. he always comes back. cas and lucifer made a good team. that was a little brutal. Rowena took the page, didn't she? i thought sam would give her but i didnt think would do it. but he did. lucifer is not dead. We forget the traumas of the Winchesters very quickly, they are not even mentioned. They always show themselves strong, they don't show what's inside them. Dean spent 40 years in hell, Sam was tortured by Lucifer, Dean had to survive in purgatory… I hope Rowena doesn't cause trouble for the boys.

s13 ep13(devil's bargain)

i thought lucifer would let cupid live but he killed him and i suppose he did it just for fun. i forgot about ketch. How did Lucifer not die? i missed kevin. sister jo(daneel ive been waiting for this, i thought we would saw her earlier on the show). Doesn't the prophet know the difference between Cas and Asmodeus? ketch is right. lucifer cant do the things he promised, right? gabriel!!! well, i hope winchesters can save him.

s13 ep14(good intentions)

Dean you are amazing Cas you are amazing too. Mary is not Mary. They're still messing with Jack's head, right? hi bobby! sometimes jack's smiles are sweet but sometimes he scared me he smiles like lucifer sometimes, other than that he is just a sweet boy. and i love him. i love this bobby too but i want old bobby. mary made the deal she brought so much pain to her boys but we saw what the world would be like if she hadn't made that deal, and I think Mary did the right thing. If that deal hadn't happened, we would never have met the boys. cas! i dont like where this is going. i hope cas wont go far. Dean and Sam are Jack's role models, I think he chose very good role models. Whatever it takes… both Dean and Cas go too far. They need to calm down and think a bit. I hope nothing bad happens to them. I'm sorry about Donatello, I didn't like him as much as Kevin, but he was still a good guy. He didn't deserve what happened to him (like all the good characters in the series)

s13 ep15(a most holy man)

While Dean was saying enjoy, he was thinking things like this will be the last time you drive and he was imagining how he would kill that man. yes i totally believe dean would kill for the baby. I heard that that scene was improvised and it's really a perfect scene. I never thought that the blood would come from that man. I thought it would be from someone we knew before or someone very important.

s13 ep16(scoobynatural)

do you know how long i've been waiting for this. I've seen a lot of clips about this episode and I was very curious about it. When I started this season, I was thinking that they were opening a portal to the Scooby universe with Jack. I even thought that they would travel to different universes throughout the season thanks to Jack's portals. just for fun. But when it comes to SPN, sometimes this is only possible for a few episodes. There is a villain in every season and the world is in danger, so team Free Will has to save the World all over again. But did the trickster really die and come back, or was he never dead? i really love when dean is being a fanboy. he genuinely loves them and he shows that he loves them. and i love him for this. i love deans love for scooby-doo. this is one of my favorite episodes now. it was awesome. i love dean. i love sam and cas too but dean has a special place in my heart.

s13 ep17(the thing)

poor gabriel, I hope he can get out of there. Ketch is saving Gabriel right now, even if it's for himself. where is cas? why aent they waiting for him? ketch did some bad things, idk how to feel about him. gabriel is okay for nw with sam. dean really has a death wish. he doesnt care if he dies he only care about the others. yeah this is a nice thing but he would die to protect them and i dont want him to die.

s13 ep18(bring 'em back alive)

Charlie! Until two days ago, I didn't see anything about whether we would see Charlie in this series again but then I learned that we will see the apocalyptic world version of her. I knew she would come but I didn't expect that we would see her now. i missed her. She shouldn't have died. why didnt they wait for cas? i think ketch really cared about mary. gabriel is back! and he left. Asmodeus is dead, right? i hope he wont come back. ketch is complicated. Charlie is acting like our Charlie. i couldnt believe charlie's death and i still cant. she shouldn't have died.

s13 ep19(funeralia)

rowena what are you doing? i thought maybe rowena was trying to get crowley back but then i said she wouldnt do that. is she really trying to get fergus back? if thatsthe truth please let her try. i want crowley back. rowena is kinda right only team free will gets to come back from the dead. naomi is alive. I hope Sam doesn't have to kill Rowena. I started to love Rowena even more. I think there is such a thing as the Winchester Effect. They changed an angel, the king of hell, the most powerful witch and many more people and turned them into better people, and it is great to watch the character development of those characters. They changed Rowena as well as Crowley. I think Rowena loved Crowley. I wish she had the chance to tell Crowley that, or at least show it.

s13 ep20(unfinished business)

Fenrir from Norse mythology, right? I realized the last part was similar to Steve and Tony's argument (Marvel). we'll löse, we'll do that together too… they lost, steve wasn't there. i hope sam could be there when it comes to that. I can't be sure about deaths when it comes to tricksters. I even wondered if Loki replaced Gabriel at the end, but they wouldn't do such a thing because the story would be extended unnecessarily and there is no need for such a thing. i missed our kevin, he wouldnt do that. poor jack. mary sees her as a son:)

s13 ep21(beat the devil)

rowena and gabriel? little awkward but funny. In the beginning ep was hilarious but then it all went dark. rowena didn't run, this time she stayed. she has changed(the winchester effect). lucifer's bar scene was awesome. Sam died and came back, thanks to Lucifer. I'm glad he is back but lucifer brought him. they found jack and mary. dean watched his brother die, again. and the look on his face is telling everything. im glad the brothers are back together.

s13 ep22(exodus)

no, mary. i know you want to help the other World but your boys came for you. you shouldnt do that to them. lucifer is not entirely wrong. yes he does so many bad things but sometimes he does good things. like most of the villains on spn he is complicated. I've seen the scene where Cas and Lucifer drive the bus on the internet before, but I didn't think it was real. I thought it was someone's dream or something. i know lucifer is bad but he tried to do the right thing. he fought Michael, and now he is doing bad things because sam wouldnt let him come with them. sam has hs reasons but now lucifer is going to help Michael nd i think he is not happy about it because h will have brought Michael to the other world, just as his relationship with Jack was getting better. and he knows this will upset his son. Gabriel isn't really dead, right? Otherwise they woudn't have zoomed in on his face. its always good to see bobby but i wish we couldve seen our bobby with the boys and our Charlie.

s13 ep23(let the good times roll)

I would like to see charlie and rowena together. Dean's dream is very beautiful, but with their luck, it is impossible. I wish it could happen, no one deserved retirement more than them. but i dont think they would get a happy ending. This is how I wanted Dean to treat Jack from the beginning. Dean's speech was beautiful. soft dean is my favorite, he is kind and sweet when he needs to be. I love him. I was going to believe in Lucifer because he wanted his son and was doing good things just for him, but in the end he ruined everything again. Dean, you tried so hard to keep Michael from getting to you. I wanna cry. michael has dean, i hope dean can beat him. Is Lucifer really gone? dean… i want to kill Michael. i hope dean will be the one to kill him. The suit and hat suit Dean very well. Just when good things are happening, everything turns bad, and every season, boys cannot find comfort. Can't the kids relax for just one season? There won't be a big bad guy for the end of the season, maybe if they want they can hunt like in the first season or just have a good time together in the

bunker. only 1 season. I wish… but it's impossible. i just want to see them happy.

[420technoblazeit]

the insane thing about dean and crowley running away together after season 9 is like. ok to recap what's going on in their lives at that point

sam turned crowley almost fully human in the season 8 finale and he felt 300 years worth of horrible soul-crushing guilt all at once. it kinda fucked him up and he gets hit with the crisis of oh god oh fuck i've committed so many unforgivable sins i have to be a better person IMMEDIATELY or i'm going to die alone again. which results in him taking ridiculous amounts of human blood to feel more human and getting addicted to it. sam and dean forcefully detox him except we find out in the start of season 10 that he didn't actually get fully sober, he just stopped taking it in excess. so he's literally still taking human blood over the summer. and by the time the end of season 9 rolls around he's also gotten pretty close to dean, enough that in the finale he brings him back as a demon mostly because he wants someone who understands him which like. given that he just spent the last season taking human blood to get away from his demon nature is more than a little fucked up

on the other hand dean took on the mark of cain, the oldest curse of all time which may or may not have turned lucifer evil and gives you uncontrollable bloodlust until you murder everyone close to you. so we're already off to a bad start. but it gets worse because crowley turned him into a demon so now he's soulless too and has no sense of morality to stop him from murdering whoever he wants. dean ran away and told sam and cas not to go looking for him so he's alone with the king of hell, who has no complaints about killing random people and is actually kind of encouraging it and his alcoholism because he wants him to stick around. the insane cocktail mix of the mark of cain and being a demon makes dean impulsive and angry at the best of times and he literally tries to kill sam when he tries to turn him human again

so when i say the two of them fucking was like. the LEAST of their problems. i mean it

[chiisana-sukima]

Between Dean and Sam: who prefers to be liked, and who prefers to be right?

Hi Nonny, thank you so much for the ask!

I think the easy answer is that Dean prefers to be liked and Sam prefers to be right. Dean has more friends, is more malleable, and has a huge, life-destroying fear of aloneness at his core, while Sam is Mr According to the Lore Research Boy who is often distant and intellecualizing, so this is a natural conclusion.

But actually I think that, like many people in high stress occupations, they both vastly prefer to be right and don't actually care that much about whether people like them or not.

In nursing, it's a truism that certain sub-disciplines--ICU, PCU, NICU, OR, ER--are full of "strong personalities"; which is what we call people who are excessively competent, just want to get the job done and get it done right, and don't really give a fuck about much else. Partly this is because people who are at baseline inclined towards a combination of technical competence and adventure tend to go into those difficult and high stress disciplines and partly it's because once you're there the job winnows everything else out of you.

That, to me, is Sam and Dean. They are "strong personalities". It's not that they don't have friends (although it's canon that in the early years part of the job is explicitly stated to be leaving your friends behind and not getting too close); it's that their friends are expendable, they themselves are expendable, everything is expendable except family and the job--and the job involves getting things right or dying.

Look at how they treat their friends. Look at Kevin, Garth, Rowena, Crowley, often Cas, even each other. They are frequently mean, insulting, belittling of others' value, and interacting with their friends like autistic children who bond through parallel play; except the play is "bleed for the Winchesters".

They both of course do have the basic human need to be seen and loved--which each expresses in their own natural way-- but that isn't at all the same as wanting to be "liked", and they both largely confine their need to be loved to a few select people. Everyone else goes in the "to sell for a corn chip if my brother is hungry" resource pile.

This is very much not me insulting them or saying that they're deranged or actually the bad guys or whatever. The way the universe of the show is set up, they are right. Their world is a huge ICU full of dying patients that's also on fire. In some ways the whole show is just a 15 year argument about how to be right when everyone is dying around you. Give up? Throw out your phone? Push it all down until it comes out in violence and alcoholism? "Like" is small and easily sacrificed compared to wading through the big stuff and doing your best.

[goshen-applecrumbledore]

Feels adjacent to the game you’re playing right now - are there canon characters you think would have a threesome with samdean? Idk if it’s just a one time deal or an OT3 thing but v interested in ur thots!!

('canon characters' is tripping me up but I assume you just mean like, characters from the show and not stuff I made up)

short answer: literally everyone on that show would let the winchesters run train on them if given half a chance. the exception to this rule is kevin tran and kevin tran alone

long answer: I don't really buy anyone in an OT3 with them because they're too isolated and insane about each other to have a genuine, balanced polyamorous relationship.

but, in terms of who they'd have a threesome with, here's a list of the characters I like to imagine them screwing the most, in order from "antagonistic angry hate sex" to "sweet amicable friends with benefits":

ruby

bela

crowley

rowena

benny (hate sex for sam only)

john (sorry)

bobby (sorry lmao)

cas

jack

[mlobsters]

supernatural s9e11 first born (w. robbie thompson)

this reminds me a bit of teen wolf in the plot overload disorder. i don't think i even bothered mentioning abaddon last episode. too much shit going on! also makes me laugh that we're in the 1800s, teen wolf also had this very weird (not good) flashback for the history of the argents (in the 1700s) 😂

all right, i know it's cain here, but i don't know anything really beyond that. except the mark at some point.

CROWLEY So...is that boudoir smile for me?

crowley's back in his sweet spot of evil but also maybe helpful but also probably trying to fuck you over. much better than just flat evil

CROWLEY I've been chasing that blade for decades. The closest I got to it was when one of my droogs -- Smitty -- got wind of a protégé demon of Abaddon's who claimed knowledge of the blade. Sadly, before Smitty could nab the guy, a hunter by the name of John Winchester nabbed the protégé. I'm here to see if there's anything in the John Winchester memorial library that might lead us to the first blade -- to killing Abaddon. DEAN You want to hunt? With me? CROWLEY I do love a good buddy comedy.

i know people talk up how crowley feels about dean but to me crowley is just horny for literally everyone and/or no one. sheppard is just so charismatic in this part

why is this so cute!

laughed out loud, good one. i'm the BEST liar, i totally fucked you both over, don't you remember??? don't besmirch my lying abilities, bro

i thought being totally sober would make me less loquacious but sadly, no ;(

CROWLEY Is all this really necessary? I mean, I've been inside your brother. We're practically family. DEAN Listen to me. We are the furthest thing from family. You got that, dickbag?

while dean does like to adopt every stray he comes across, the king of hell apparently doesn't qualify 😩

cas seemed disappointed about the lack of an actual guinea pig. understandable

sam barely keeping it together haha

hello sarah connor 🔥

CROWLEY I can help. Dean? DEAN He wants Abaddon as dead as I do. TARA If your daddy could see you now.

stop the doom spiral of guilt, dean. it's complicated, okay??? and shooting the floor in her own shop to break the devil's trap, what the actual fuck 😂

CROWLEY Would you care to join us? TARA Him? Anytime. You? Never.

hot lady who banged his dad, of course she wants to jump dean too. reminds me of this

s7e19 of grave importance

SAM Annie's not usually this late, is she? DEAN No, never. She's totally compulsive. I'll try her cell. SAM You know, uh, you know she and Bobby had a thing, right? DEAN Yeah. Yeah, I knew that. Really? SAM Yeah. Kind of a foxhole thing – very Hemingway. DEAN Huh. She and I kind of went Hemingway this one time, too. SAM All right, well... that happens. DEAN What, you too? SAM Look, it was a while back. We ended up on the same case. She was stressed. I-I-I... I didn't... have a soul. DEAN That's a lot of foxholes.

what a pretty face! i don't know much religious lore but i wasn't expecting cain to be scary for crowley. i have no idea where he lands in the food chain, in fact

DEAN Why don't you just zap out of here? CROWLEY I'd never leave my domestic partner in crime. DEAN [snorts] Yeah, like your heart grew three sizes. You can't zap out of here, can you?

i wonder if crowley could make it an entire day without flirting with anyone

CASTIEL Sam, the trials. You chose not to go through with them for a reason, didn't you? You chose to live rather than to sacrifice yourself. You and Dean... You chose each other. SAM Yeah, I did. We did. And then... Dean made a choice for me.

😔

how does finding gadreel fix things?

cain became a demon, okay (aha things are clicking that i know from fic lol). so with the whole dean and sam are descended from cain and abel, does that mean cain is grandpa? uncle?

CASTIEL No. Why must the Winchesters run toward death?

good question, cas

sometimes i wonder how things are lit (in all media, not just spn), if they're trying to give the appearance of someone being on the verge of tears. when you got that highlight near your lower eyelid, it really looks like it regardless of actual tears accumulating. anyway,

SAM My life's not worth any more than anyone else's -- not yours or Dean's...or Kevin's. Please. Please, help me do one thing right. Keep going.

oh, sam.

@shinelikethunder linked this fight scene with rhianna's s&m over it, i may not be feeling the vibes op is talking about but i can appreciate it nonetheless :) it's a really good fight scene for jackles and great song choice. i'm always mourning the spn that could have been with better music 😔

looking to see if there was a clean version on spotify of s&m out of curiosity and laughing that there's a kids version of the "sex in the air, i don't care i love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me" song

DEAN Right. Yeah, except I didn't kill my brother. CAIN You saved yours. Why? DEAN Because you never give up on family -- ever. CAIN Where's your brother now, then?

ouch.

also, cain is retired, other demons didn't know where he was, but apparently he still gets the hot gossip on the winchesters somehow.

CASTIEL Sam, I want Gadreel to pay as much as you do. But nothing is worth losing you.

oh i see

ah fucking hell speaking of music, this melody is back. what did i associate it with last time. twilight and something. i think when dean was praying in his room to cas. it's at the very end of this post, i included video of it - s8e16

something about this mushy music has me feeling twilight or hunger games and i'm not sure which. ugh. bella's lullaby / rue's music (but that doesn't even have piano but it does have that plucked acoustic guitar like day before yesterday's s8e14 princess bride-esque music)

and apparently it really was time for sam and cas quality time. but anyway this melody is so familiar, kicks in when cas says the thing about him screwing up more than sam. is it a slowed down version of some spn theme? urgh. question may go unanswered until i rewatch from the beginning.

so anyway, that was a nice moment. i like how robbie is writing cas this episode

DEAN The jawbone of an animal. The jawbone you used to kill Abel because he was God's favorite. CAIN Abel wasn't talking to God. He was talking to Lucifer. Lucifer was gonna make my brother into his pet. I couldn't bear to watch him be corrupted, so I offered a deal -- Abel's soul in heaven for my soul in hell. Lucifer accepted... As long as I was the one who sent Abel to heaven. So, I killed him. Became a soldier of Hell -- a knight.

listen i don't know these stories except for very broad strokes but okaaaay interesting twist

ABADDON We could have been forever, but you chose her. Well, if I can't have you, then neither can she.

i see. ex and you're her... creator? complicated

welp. i didn't know dean was getting the mark in this episode, wheels are in motion

aw. sweet sammy

CASTIEL As far as I'm concerned, Metatron is the key to fixing everything that's wrong. I'm gonna find him. You know, Sam, we could use all the help we could get to find Gadreel and Metatron.

--

CROWLEY You don't mean that. We're having too much fun. Listen up. Even with the Blade, we're gonna need all the help we can get against Abaddon. DEAN Go find the Blade. CROWLEY It's always something with you boys, isn't it?

cute. but yes, show sure likes to do it!

i'm sure it's fine

[justanotherfanfolks]

Twisted Wonderland Main Story Scattered Thoughts (Prologue Chapter 9-12)

Time for something new, baby! Hello villain statues! Someone ready to get scorched at some point? Grim doesn’t know them, my poor Disney heart. ACE! ACE! ACE! BUDDY I’VE BEEN WAITING TO SEE YOU! You know, Queenie looks kind of chill in the statue. Okay, funny story, when I first saw Riddle he was always talking about having peoples’ heads if they broke the rules. I hadn’t seen what his unique magic was, so I thought he was genuinely threatening to decapitate people. Grim: She’d decaptiate people? That’s messed up! Ace: Cool, right? I’m a big fan of hers! Oh my gosh, ACE! Pick better idols. Wait they think she was kind all the time? Uhhhhhh… Ah, Grim’s already calling Yuu his hench-human. Ace called Yuu’s name weird. RIP. Ace is the lorekeepr! He’s just explaining everyone, cool! “Earn it through hard work and elaborate scheme” sure Acey, let’s call it that. Hyena equality! This is why Ruggie vibes with the dude. The twisted views of these villains is so interesting! Except they were genuinely bad. History must have been massively rewritten in their favor. Yet the heroes are still considered heroes. Weird. I take it everyone just heard Ursula’s song and went “Oh yeah, she loved helping people!” Yeah, helping them help herself. Grim wants to follow in her footsteps. Grim is hungry for lore. Me too, this is so interesting! Heh, staff. First TWST joke I ever saw was someone saying how you’ll see a TWST character and you’d find out they were twisted from Jafar’s staff. I mean Epel is the poison apple, so they were not wrong. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Scalding Sands event discussed the beautiful relationship between a princess and a street rat (Jasmine and Aladdin). But Jafar is praised for exposing a guy pretending to be a prince to get closer to the princess. It’s like people split the stories in half and made sure no one made the connections! He used the lamp to become sultan, no one questioning how? Or mentioning how he went crazy with power, became a genie, got stuck in the lamp, and rocketed into the cave of wonders? Ace, we’re calling doing whatever it takes to stay the most beautiful dedication? Dedication. Do you know what she did? Homegirl’s statue is literally holding the apple she tried to murder her stepdaughter with! And she’s good at making poison you say, put the pieces together child! “I gotta respect the hustle” He’s a fan boy through and through for these 7! Okay, I will say Ace is spitting straight facts for Hades. I mean, the guy really got the short end of the stick. MALEFICENT! Yes, she’s cool, please continue Ace! The whiplash! Ace no! He really started up a conversation only to turn around and use it as an insult. Oh, that’s it? Next chapter now, I'm invested!

Wait, is that a battle? A BATTLE? THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING! The music died. Chaos music! He’s laughing so much! Wait, how does he know they are janitors? Ah- hey I know who they are! For some reason Yuu doesn’t, come on Yuu! Ace: I just wanted to have some audacity, so byeee! Grim no! Grim! It’s not worth! Explodey head? Oh, he’s insulting his hair! But I like his hair. Wind boy! Oh, hello NPCs. Such boys. Yuu, of couse wind magic is a thing! I’m embarrassed to be shadowing you right now. Ooo, battle time. OH BATTLE EXPLANATION! I really should have played the main story earlier, I’ve been winging this for months! Ah, Duo Magic my beloved! 5000 too? Ace, buddy. I will end you with my cards. AHHHH, THE STATUE! THAT’S HOW THEY DID IT! ACE IS MORTIFIED! Grim: You should have let me burn you to a crisp! Ah, another Crowley jumpscare! So they burn a statue, and then when Deuce joins they party they break a chandelier. The Chaos Quartet is going to be crazy. Actually, how does Crowley catch people? Yuu’s getting blamed to, RIP. 100 WINDOWS, OH MY GOSH! Ooo, more gems!

Oh, those were timeskips! Ace is flaking. Talking Painting! I didn’t know we got to meet those! I remember Rosalia from Cater’s vignette. The painting is using Wonderland logic. Hm, I didn’t have that much to say.

Yay! New Twistune! I have all the event ones so far, but a new one for the main story excites me! Hall of Mirrors! I love how the gates look different! Grim jumpscare! I don’t know who ro root for. Fair is fair, but I think Grim is out for blood. DEUCE! DEUCEY! MY BOY! Deuce, that’s a lot of ideas you got there… can you even execute that? Maybe tackle him? Wait! WAIT! Is it caldron time? AHHHHH YES I LOVE HIS CAULDRONS! Ace, you alive buddy? Oh, they about to get exposed to Deuce. I wonder when Riddle found out they burned the Queen of Hearts statue. I mean, it’s his counterpart. Oh Deuce, stick with them long enough and you’ll get in trouble, too. Who is he, Ace. He’s Juice. “Don’t you remember your own classmate?” Deuce, there’s like 26 people per class and it’s the first day, how would he? And he doesn’t remember either! Ah, the start of the most iconic TWST Duo. Move over Ramshackle Duo, Adeuce has been united. Good point, where did Grim go? Grim wanted to shirk responsibility too! Y’all are so fake! JUICE! I love that joke so much! Deuce didn’t sign up for this. “Useless janitor friend” yikes, sorry Yuu. Oh yeah, the Twistune! I forgot already! …Two rows of green notes. I’ve done blue and red notes, but two green notes? MMMM, let’s see how this goes. Oh, this music is also a bop! Juice! Oh I love it already! Oh, that did seem as bad as I thought it would be. Adeuce really be sharing that braincell! How can they be so in sync and yet not in sync at all? Gems! Oh love this game, this is a really good Prologue!

[catalogercas]

Ask meme

L

A

S

O

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

In Ted Lasso? I love everyone?

(Except, you know, the abusive folks - James Tartt Sr., Rupert, Jane, and Jack. Well, Shandy wasn't abusive, she just had a completely terrible and aimless plot line, like, what was the point of that plot line???)

Oh, I am neutral about boatman! And he gave us gezelig! (Well, unless you're Dutch, in which case, I assume you already had it). He seems like he's a good dad.

A- Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Jamie x Roy

Jamie x Roy x Keeley

Jamie & Sam

Not Ted Lasso:

Crowley x Aziraphale

Dean x Cas are always a little on my mind

Murderbot & A.R.T.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

What does this mean??? Like, support my headcanon with canon evidence??? Write a fic prompt about my headcanon???

Well, since I'm unclear on the directions here, as someone who enjoys sickfic entirely too much, enjoy my OT3 sickfic thoughts: I think that Roy would be a terrible sick person because he would want to be taken care of but also feel like he shouldn't need to be and therefore not want to ask to be taken care of. Keeley could also be terrible because I think she would either want the boys to be mind readers about what she wants/needs (like with her not telling Roy she needed space ...) or she would be content if they literally left little care packages of food and medicine for her but otherwise completely left her alone (which, despite my love of sickfic is exactly what I want when sick --for literally, everyone to leave me alone). Jamie wants to be taken care of and asks to be taken care of. The main issue with him is he wants cuddles and kisses and doesn't care how germs work.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

I weirdly haven't really been thinking about Ted Lasso & Roy, Jamie, and Keeley while listening to music ...except for when I was listening to No Milk Today by Herman's Hermits after International Break and was thinking about it being "No Training Today" with Roy not training Jamie because he and Keeley were, at least, sleeping together (because what was going on with them after that episode was very unclear) and Roy and Jamie both just morosely staring at bicycles and parks because they weren't doing their insane one on one training

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest wednesday! inspired by that ask you answered earlier, is there a canon male character sam would allow to join them for dp-ing dean purposes?

helloooooooo happy happy wincest wednesday!

umm in actual honest to g nothing at all about canon has changed except that S&D are canonically fucking? I think the answer is... no. I think there are plenty of dudes Dean would be open to and there may be some that Sam is open to on his own (though clearly that's a vastly smaller number), but it's the integration of the other into the world of obsessive two that makes it so much more difficult. A random stranger? Sure, there's not really any problem there, although I think there might be a dynamic assessment that they'd do -- a twink is nbd, but another toppy guy...? Sam's going to have to assess, lol. (Of course this also slightly depends on when it happens, but I find my mental established relationship!chesters tend to be in the solidity of s11, and there Sam is very watchful of Dean's safety and happiness and so if he were doing the choosing, which lbr he would, it would be a very careful choice, just for Dean's sake. [muffled scream, they love each other so muhuhuhuhuch.])

But like, let's go through the likely candidates:

Castiel: no. It'd have to be in a VERY specific timeframe, particularly a moment when Dean wasn't mostly angry at him all the time. s4/5 is one of the better spots for the destiel part of the model, but they're really fraught in the wincest relationship -- and Sam's on his back foot for a while there, but he's never at a lack-of-self-respect spot where he'd let Dean supersede him at the same moment that Dean might consider Cas. s6, no. s7, no. s8, tricky -- Sam's guilt might allow it, but Cas is acting too g.d. weird w/r/t the mind control for Dean to let him in. s9 when Cas is human is the best shot I think they've got, and I have actually written that under commission, but Dean letting Gadreel into that situation already feels... off. Possible, but not for the most in-character versions I can think of. And then after s9 the likelihood just gets lower and lower. Sorry, Cas.

Crowley: lol, no. There's like 45 seconds where Sam almost kinda likes him but then the jealousy goes SUPERNOVA.

Benny: no, and it's really too bad. Sam doesn't trust him until he's dead. (What does that tell us about jealous!Sam, by the way.) But Benny's such a great candidate because he knows his place, exactly -- Sam's uppermost in Dean's mind always, and Benny doesn't argue about that at all, and everyone knows the score. I wrote a little canon divergence to make room, but in canon as presented -- sorry, Dean, you'll have to get your DP elsewhere.

And after that, really, who are our other legit options? Bobby? No. John? Ahaha but no. Garth, Ash, Max the Witch, Paul the Bartender, Cesar & Jesse for a fun foursome? Just doesn't seem likely.

You can construct these hyperspecific moments where a really-for-real-canon character might go for it, but you have to get past 1) whatever canon debacle is happening at the moment, 2) ensure that the wincest element is safe and solid, and 3) get the third over the fact that they're fucking brothers -- something easy to gloss over in 'private' wincest, but it's something that shouldn't be discarded in threesome fic. Even if the third might not care -- monsters&angels&demons might totally shrug -- Sam and Dean might care, and particularly Dean, and Sam knows that Dean sometimes gets off hardest when he's humiliated but it doesn't mean he wants to invite that into their bed when he doesn't need to.

So. A hard sell. (Canon divergence AUs are our friend.)

[autisticandroids]

1 and 20 for fanfic ask :)

1. what’s the fic youre most proud of?

so the easy answer here is i fold in half so easily. i actually like... i didn't start writing that one as like a Big Project? i started writing it to procrastinate my other projects. I didn't notice it turning into this massive like, carefully thought out monstrosity basically until i posted it. and then it just kind of... after the fact, it kind of became all i thought about. like i started kind of self-referentially paying attention most to the interpretations i presented in that fic. which sounds pretty narcissistic, and yeah it is i'm a writer. i like my own work. sue me. like a lot of the things i said in the months afterward kinda came from the i fold in half so easily extended universe, you know? and it's so funny because it was intended as like, a little side project that i wasn't meant to care about much. half of it was literally just me trying my hand at something. like, did you know i fold in half so easily was inspired by beat sheet? like, part of the purpose of that fic was me being like "i wonder if i can do the thing saltyfeathers did so well where they had a main character with ZERO thoughts about salient topics." genuinely i fold in half so easily was partly just me experimenting with that. but then it became this big Thing. and then i wrote that big director's commentary for it and was like "wait hey i actually put a lot of thought into this!!! hey!!" and also other people were obsessed with it which was very exciting. and like looking back there's parts of it i am a little embarrassed by? at the time i was NOT happy with the "i can be your guy" scene and i really still am not, but it does convey something important that i wasn't sure how to get across in a less heavyhanded manner. but i've kind of made my peace with it. but nowadays i'm kind of unhappy with the ending. it's too melodramatic. if i were to write it again now cas' breakdown would be much quieter and maybe a bit more private, because i don't think him yelling at sam and then physically running out of the room is realistic, y'know? i mean the yelling at sam is probably necessary to get my point across but then he should have walked away instead of run. but overall i am quite happy with it. so probably i fold in half so easily.

i have to say though that the fic i am most proud of lately is so much smoke in a hall of mirrors. like i sat on that for a long time, i mean, i started it in december of 2020 and it just percolated. but i spend a lot of time just trying to figure out how to integrate season six destiel stuff with season six angel civil war stuff in a way that felt like each were given an appropriate weight. like the thing is i frequently find that destiel fic does not acknowledge the importance of like. non-dean factors in cas' angel revolution. at the same time, you can't make sense of season six without destiel. and not just dean as a distraction from the war, but dean and cas' desire for him as a massive complicating and motivating factor. like, maybe the most crucial thing for cas in season six is that he feels completely isolated and like no one would ever understand him and everyone would turn on him if they knew what he was doing (and he was kind of right but it's also a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of). and this is partly about crowley but it's also absolutely about dean. cas knows that his obsession with dean is both strange and would be strange to other angels, and also on some level impure. like he may or may not actually know that it's about sex, but he is absolutely aware that there's something selfish and uncomfortable about it. so having this desire he can't explain to himself or anyone else or even let anyone else (except maybe crowley, whom he hates) even KNOW about is this intensely isolating experience, which works in perfect harmony with having to lie to all his troops about tactical moves and shit and get them killed for no reason (because cas is working with crowley, which they can't know about, and he is gonna become god and win the whole war at once, eventually, so they just have to keep going til then). like basically cas has every reason to feel just totally alone and set upon from every angle. and his desire for dean is a piece of that but also not all of it. so i'm very proud of i guess successfully threading that needle. i still don't know if i was totally successful, i'm not sure if elements of it really came across? i'm not sure cas' feeling of pointlessness due to his godstiel plan actually makes sense to anyone but me. plus there's bits i'm not happy with (really mainly the ending sex scene which just is not sexy). but i am proud of it. and it's funny because no one read it, which i was kind of shocked by, because it's one of my most palatable-to-the-average-heller fics, i think. but at the same time it's nice to know i can be really proud of something without necessarily getting a bunch of attention and praise from it from people who aren't my closest friends.

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

um... if we were being tongue in cheek i would say like, attention? but honestly not that. like i could get so much more attention by just posting, if i wanted. what i get out of writing is like... it makes me feel competent and like i can accomplish tasks that i set myself to and boosts my confidence.

and then the other thing is that in the supernatural fandom specifically, it makes me feel like i'm earning my place at the table. like, i just kind of accidentally became a well known supernatural guy by posting a lot, and don't get me wrong, it was nice, but i also was like... i'm just a guy who posts!! i don't really contribute anything!! why are you guys admiring me, a guy who just posts my unedited thoughts for the world to look at, when you could be admiring people who write fucking novels on the archive of our own. so it was really nice once i was able to start putting out a decent amount of fanfiction i was happy with, to feel like i was able to really bring something to the table. my amvs helped too, obviously, but just in terms of personal tast i tend to prefer reading fanfiction to watching amvs, so while i respect the technical craft involved in making amvs a lot, fanfiction feels more like a contribution to people's enjoyment.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 12x07 Rock Never Dies

“Is this a polished turd?” laughter “what the hell” “I can’t remember how Lucifer abuses this one - the fame part I think” “what’s that game? I forgot” Words with Friends

“We played scrabble” “drugs? To angels” laughter

“Hell-A” “What are they mocking?” “Did he just say lit?” “so we generated to gen z now? Is that it?” “Let’s get lit with the fam” “yoga pants” “what?” “Is it not manly enough for Dean or something? I don’t understand why he doesn’t like it” “I never really understood hair rock myself” laughter

“BellAqua?” laughter

“Idk if I ever said this before, but the way Dean’s got his jaw cocked…that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard today. He’s so disgusted he can’t say it properly. Why do I need a vegetable but when I can have an angel touch me?” 🎶god works in mysterious ways 🎶

“WHAT” “what’s that supposed to mean?” laughter

Laughter “Feathers” “not a stain in sight” “except on the cardboard of course” “why so serious?” “weird” “it’s getting pretty dark man” “Why do we have to start there?” “why can’t Cas go?” laughter “that’s a good shot” “we’re missing the offshoot episodes that’s following Cas and Crowley around all day. I want one so bad” “got it” “that’s not what she said” “that is what she said” “uh huh” laughter “what the hell are they putting in that juice?” “need more antioxidants’ “ha ha ha ha” laughter

Laughter

“What?” laughter

“Did he name the dog Spanky or something?” It’s a reference to the Little Rascals “How did you know?” I remember the movie

Laughter

“Fkn head injuries dude.” “Three broken necks. At least two concussions” “convenient everyone got out” “Assbutt. They reused it. Still funny though’ “Jesus Christ” “that’s hot” “his contract was over” “He made for a good Lucifer though”

[fragiledewdrop]

Okay, this post suddenly came to my mind earlier today and I got time, so why not?

To me the answer is and always will be "I watched you rake leaves".

Obviously I would like for all of them to be revealed, and I have detailed fics about it in my head (plus the many delicious ones I have read), but that one...that, I suspect , will never stop destroying me.

Because it is the one that would fundamentally change Dean's perception of Cas and, as a consequence, of his own worth.

See, as much as I love it when they discuss the crypt scene, I feel that it doesn't really change the way Dean sees Cas. He already knows Naomi brainwashed him. The realization that she did it by making him kill copies of himself would disclose how much Castiel has suffered, and how much Dean -Dean specifically, not all of humanity- matters to him. Both are very, very good things. Except.

Except Dean knows that Cas has suffered, even if he doesn't know the specifics, and knows, on a fundamental level, that he is the most important person in Cas's life. He might not be fully honest with himself as to exactly why he matters this much to Cas, but he is aware he does, especially after the whole "giving up an army for one guy" thing and the "everyone except me" speech. He would see the broken connection as proof that Cas loves, but that he loves in a way that can be directly used against him. A weakness. The very reason why they cannot be honest about their feelings: their enemies would use them against them. And knowing of all the copies of Dean Cas killed would be meaningful, but I think it would ultimately just make Dean feel guilty, and he couldn'tdo anything to assuage that guilt.

"There's things, there's people, feelings" is a capital M Moment, for sure, but the revelation of it can be more or less accomplished by your run of the mill love confession. More or less, mind you. I don't mean to cheapen it, but if I have to compare these unresolved points, I personally feel it's the weakest.

The way Dean is when Cas dies is a strong contender, because the revelation would both help Dean with his grief and make Cas understand that he is not worthless. I adore it in fics.

Good, stellar, 10/10, would be the winner if it weren't for the fact that "I watched you rake leaves" is in the race.

Because "I watched you rake leaves" would fundamentally reconfigure the way Dean thinks of Cas's first and greatest betrayal, a betrayal that has coloured Cas's actions and Dean's perception of them ever since then.

In "The Man Who Would Be King" Dean was angry with Cas because he acted alone, he went behind his back and trusted Crowley above him, but it turns out that that was not at all what Cas was trying to do. It turns out Cas did think of going to him for help. It turns out that when he said "I am doing this for you, Dean. I am doing this because of you", he was being sincere. It was not just a line he was feeding Dean to convince me to back him.

AND NOT ONLY THAT.

It would show that Cas loves him in a way nobody has loved him before. This is the main reason I would choose it above the crypt scene: other people have died for Dean (hello John), suffered for him, overcome angelic mind control for him (Sam at Stull, anyone?). Nobody, however, has ever loved him enough to protect his happiness from the dangers of the world. Nobody has ever kept the monsters in the dark away from him. John certainly hasn't. Sam hasn't, and that's not a criticism. It's simply not Sam's role to care about Dean like that. Sam loves him more than anyone, would die in heartbeat for him, defeat the devil for him, but he won't try to keep the knowledge that the devil's out there from impacting Dean's life. Because that's what Dean does for him. Because it's Dean that protects, Dean that shelters, Dean that keeps the monsters at bay. Because in their relationship, Dean has been and in some way always will be the parent.

Cas, however.

Cas needed his help. He needed Dean to stop another apocalypse. It would have made things a lot easier for him to just tell Dean about Raphael. Yet he didn't. He chose to shelter Dean from the dark. Chose to protect him. He practically damned himself out of the same kind of love that damned Dean. It is the same love Dean is scared of in himself,because while it is entirely selfless, It is also selfish. It's the love that says "the happiness of my beloved is worth more to me than my own soul". Not his life, mind. Not even his safety, not really. His happiness.

This revelation would be earth-shatterring to Dean even if he already knew Cas loved him. Even in a post 15x18 au, this would turn his world on its axis in a way the other revelations wouldn't. Especially because, if Cas was already in love with him back then, it means that he not only kept Dean out of the fight, but he very consciously let him be happy with someone else. Dean wanted Lisa, and Cas could have taken him away from her in a moment without guilt. It would have been for the sake of the world,after all. But he didn't. He didn't.

The fact that Dean wasn't really happy at the time is beside the point. Cas thought he was.

It all boils down to this: "I watched you rake leaves" means " I loved you so much that I let you go and at the same time tried to keep the darkness from your door even if it meant making a deal with the devil. Even if you wouldn't have known it. Even if you would have hated me for it."

It means that Cas loves in the same beautiful, bitter way Dean does. In the way Dean thinks nobody could ever love him.

And that is why that quote always has me on the brink of tears.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

if y’all could pick ONE unresolved DeanCas moment to be revealed, between the following, which would you pick?

I watched you rake leaves

What broke the connection

The hundreds of killed Dean's to brainwash Castiel

There's things, people, I want to experience differently than I have before

Every time Dean was inconsolable while Cas was gone

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 186(?)

Sacrifice/The Power of Three

“Sacrifice”

Plot Description: What must Sam, Dean, and Castiel sacrifice to seal the gates of Hell? With Kevin’s help, the Winchester brothers have one last play against Crowley

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Jody almost died but no one actually did

This has been a WILD season…

OMG Crowley, get away from Jody.

Oh good, they finally sent Kevin to the bunker

He comes off so kindly…but I KNOW Metatron fucking sucks

I love Crowley’s twenty foot long contracts

OMG THEYRE GONNA TRY TO CURE CROWLEY OF BEING A DEMON. Honestly, the way they tricked him and slapped the demonic handcuff on him to Dean was…not bad.

CAS you can’t just ask people their kinks in public in the middle of the day. This is why you only took on a couple hunting jobs (well, that and being on the run from heaven most of this season). ITS TEN AM?

I can’t remember heaven’s specific beef with Metatron (except perhaps God’s personal scribe being away for so long)

Thanks, Dean…….you’re very helpful getting Sam prepared to go to confession to cleanse his soul, listing every single thing he’s done wrong this series

I know I spent all of this season’s penultimate episode being a Castiel apologist and telling Dean to be nicer to him, but umm…Cas, baby, they’re preparing for the LAST TASK to shut the gates of hell forever. You SURE this can’t wait??

Dean’s in the biggest lose-lose situation. He’s so…eldest daughter coded. There’s so much expected of him, to take care of everyone, pulled in every direction he’s needed

Poor Kevin. He’s just a KID. And so much is being asked of him, too. Too much.

This is quite the “last night on earth” talk between Cas and Dean…and then they watch two dudes fall in love?? Hello??

Oh Crowley, you should NOT have been so cocky. She hates BOTH of you, but she’ll get rid of Sam momentarily and mostly unharmed to kill you herself

Damnit, god forbid women do ANYTHING on this show. No, we gotta light them on fire when they try to kill the demon who usurped the throne of hell from the fallen angel they served

Um what?? This is a good monologue, but I don’t trust Crowley at ALL. I don’t trust that it’s real

See, here’s the thing. Yeah, Naomi sucks but I don’t think she’s lying. She’s a very straightforward angel who just happens to be awful a lot of the time

DAMMIT. When I said Dean was in the worst lose-lose situation, i didn’t mean for it to get THIS BAD. The trials are about to kill Sam (which, like…he’s not been doin great for a while, this isn’t a surprise) and now Cas is gone to try to fix heaven when we were JUST TOLD that Metatron was lying, that he’s trying to expel all the angels from heaven…he has no control over either situation

Omg. The one who has always seen a light at the end of this, who has very explicitly wanted to find something outside of hunting is no longer fazed by the prospect of dying in order to close hell

I forgot that Cas gets his grace taken from him

So, we end the season with the gates of hell NOT closed and hundreds maybe thousands of angels expelled from heaven. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool

“The Power of Three”

Plot Description: the Doctor and the Ponds puzzle over an unlikely invasion of Earth

I can’t wait to see who wrote this one because what is it with Moffat-run shows and having the titular character, his married companions (one of whom there’s definitely a tension with said titular character), and having an episode called “The _____ of Three” that I’m watching this month??

Hmmmm, interesting. (Yeah, this episode and the one I watched the other day, I have like NO memory of)

Excuse me?? Why is, like, a swat team coming into the Ponds’ house??

The DISGUST with which the Doctor says “Twitter”…did he know??

Why can he be a normal-ish person, experiencing time in a linear fashion with CRAIG of all people but can’t sit still around the Ponds for more than five minutes?

Uuugggghhhhhh the way they’re growing away from him as they try to actually establish their lives where they are, both professionally and socially. But also, he’s always kept them at arm’s length, so it’s not surprising. BUT ALSO KNOWING WHAT’S COMING NEXT EPISODE

Oh FINALLY the cubes are starting to DO SOMETHING. It’s nothing GOOD.

Oh, Briannnnn…he’s so (rightfully) worried for Rory and Amy

Domestic Doctor and Ponds ❤️❤️ something you never thought you’d see

I can’t decide what these cubes are a good metaphor for…

This conversation between Amy and the Doctor is reminding me a little of the one from the last Christmas special. He knows they’ll stop coming with him at some point, but he keeps coming back as long as they’ll go with him. Because what’s the point of having them with him now if he’s going to lose them later? Because he’s going to lose them later (I’M NOT CRYING. YOU ARE)

I hope we get more of Kate Stewart at some point. She seems like a really good character to have around

This show poses some really interesting ethics questions without really following through on them. The Shakri want to eliminate the threat of humans colonizing space, but they haven’t done it yet……..it’s just. It’s too interesting to not follow through on

[ninjago13]

this is chapter 2 of How do you stop an angel from opening Purgatory ? -by Sam and Dean Winchester

Chapter 2: The plan

‘Listen, Cas. I know you want to kill Raphael, I mean he is annoying, but don’t you think this is going a little too far ?’ Balthazar said. Cas sighed. ‘Listen, I can explain. But first we have to get out of here. Crowley basically wants to rip your hearts out. I’ve kept him from doing that, but I don’t think he’ll hold himself any longer.’ ‘And you didn’t think you should’ve said that a bit earlier ?’ ‘Why? If you are stopping him, then why should we be afraid?’ Sam asked. 

Balthazar suddenly realised what Cas was up to. ‘You’re gonna betray him,’ he said. ‘Yes. Look, I’ve made a mistake. But I want to fix it. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, but we have to get out of here now !’ ‘Uhm, guys?’ Dean pointed at the window. Outside they saw a huge demonic storm, trying to get in. ‘Balthazar, can you teleport us somewhere safe?’ Dean asked. ‘Yes. I will first teleport you and your brother. Then Castiel and Bobby here.’ ‘Alright, just do it quickly.’ Everyone, except Balthazar, were stressed now. The demons were almost through the door when Dean suddenly saw a beach. He felt the sand beneath his feet and heard the rustle of the sea. 

A few seconds later he also saw his brother, Bobby and Balthazar with a tied up Cas. ‘Where are we ?’ he asked. ‘Kauai.’ ‘K- Kauai ?’ Jeez. That was a long way from home. While they walked to the beach, Balthazar said: ‘Crowley won’t suspect that we’re here. We’re safe here. At least for now.’ They made a campfire on the beach. Sam first worried a bit, because there were of course other people, but Balthazar made sure that no one could find or see them. When everyone wanted to sleep, they faced another problem. Cas. ‘Well, I guess that we have to play guard. I’m going first. I don’t need to sleep anyway.’ ‘Alright. I’ll go next, Balthazar,’ said Sam. 

During the night nothing happened. Which was good, but in Cas’ experience he knew that many times it was too quiet. Especially with the Winchester boys. He tried to get into a more comfortable position, but he couldn’t really move. He looked up. The sky was beautiful. There were thousands of stars, shining on the beach. Cas later didn’t know if it was because  he was tired or if the rustling of the sea calmed him down, but he fell asleep a few minutes later. He normally never slept. But the rope was carved with Enochian sigils. It made him practically powerless. 

The next day they discussed what to do. ‘We can’t let Crowley just open Purgatory.’ ‘Tonight is the moon eclipse. We have to do it before then.’ ‘How, Sam ?’ Dean asked. ‘If we prevent it tonight he’s just going to do it the next eclipse. And how are we even going to stop him ?.’ They went on like this for a while when Dean said: ‘Let’s eat something. I can’t do this on an empty stomach.’ They all agreed on that. Dean and Bobby went to the village to buy some food, while Cas, Balthazar and Sam stayed on the beach. 

‘You think Crowley already has the blood ?’ ‘Not when I was with him the last time,’ said Cas. ‘Uh, yeah…well…about that.’ Sam and Cas first looked at each other then Balthazar. The angel held the newspaper up. He’d just quickly teleported to the village and back to see if there was any news. ‘A girl died yesterday. She was pretty popular on the internet, so it’s all over the news. Pretty sure she’s a virgin.’ ‘Great.’ 

‘Hmm, what pie do you think I should take ?’ ‘I don’t know, just choose one.’ Dean looked at Bobby. The older man was sweating and constantly looked around. ‘Hey hey hey, what is it ?’ ‘We have to get out of here.’ Dean quickly paid for the groceries. While they walked to the beach Dean asked: ‘Bobby, what was it ? You looked like you saw a ghost.’ ‘The cashier was a demon. I saw its black eyes.’ ‘You sure ?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘But then why didn’t it kill us ?’ ‘You ask me.’ 

‘Can I take a walk ?’ ‘No,’ Sam and Balthazar answered in unison. Cas sighed. How was he ever going to gain their trust again ? He doubted. On one hand he needed the souls, but on the other hand… Opening Purgatory was a great risk and he didn’t want to lose his friends. He had come so far just to end up here. Feelings were difficult. He was starting to feel a lot more since he was on Earth. And of course because he was befriended with Dean and Sam. Cas never could have imagined that humans could feel so much at the same time. It was confusing. A year ago he knew what choice he’d make. A year ago he was still serving Heaven. But then he rebelled. To give Dean and Sam a chance to stop the Apocalypse from happening. It didn’t work, obviously. But they did stop Lucifer. Eventually. 

‘Hey. There are demons here. We have to go.’ ‘Great. Oh and Crowley probably already has the blood. Let’s eat something and then get on the way.’ ‘Good idea, Sam. Where’s Cas ?’ ‘He’s-.’ Sam looked around. ‘Not here,’ he finished.

end notes:

I'm currently editing the chapters of this fanfic, but I'm not done with everything yet. So I'll try to finish everything in a few days. Hope you enjoy my fanfic!