#every time I am forced to see something stupid from fans like this I hope WiIbur goes another month without streaming

[shikai-the-storyteller]

🙃

-

[jji-lee]

hi!! i saw that your request are open so i wanted to ask for nct dream 8th member fic where all the boys know that you have the biggest crush on jeno and even the fans shipp both of you so hard every time but he is SO oblivious (and a little bit in denial about the fact that he likes you too) even tho he acts like a boyfriend to you all the time

i’ve been waiting for thissss 8th member of nct dream is always something i wanted to write about!!! thank you for the request 😔

another concert night complete, you had reclined your seat all the way back, closing your eyes, hoping to get some rest before getting to the hotel. when you felt a hand creep up your thigh. you jolted up shocked by the intimate touch, but you quickly relaxed when your eyes met jeno’s. he was smiling apologetically,

“sorry did i scare you, i just wanted to ask how you were feeling”

you smiled nervously, he had no idea what a touch like that did to your heart.

“yeah i’m okay just a little tired that’s all.”

you heard a snort from behind you, looking back you found a giggling haechan and mark, pushing and shushing each other playfully. you shot them a look telling them to knock it off and they apologized silently raising their hands defensively. when you turned back to face jeno you hoped he hasn’t seen them teasing you, instead he was smiling warmly, eyes forming crescent moons.

“rest, i’ll let you know when we’re near.”

you didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until you felt two large hands pick you up from the cart seat,

“jeno, put me down, im awake now, i can walk!”

your cheeks were burning red, thank god it was dark outside. no matter how much you twisted and turned jeno’s arms would not budge.

“it’s okay your room is right next to mine, don’t worry about it.”

as jeno carried you bridal style through the hotel halls, haechan and mark followed close behind holding in their laughter. every time you’d look back at them they’d grab each other and pretend to make out, oh just wait until you get your hands on them.

“here you are m’lady”

jeno put you down in front of your room door, doing an exaggerated curtsy bow, making you giggle. jisung popped his head out of his room,

“y/n are you doing a weverse live to- oh hi jeno, um nevermind.”

he waves his hand dismissively tucking his head back into his room, you quickly went to stop his door grabbing him by the sleeve of his oversized hoodie.

“yes i am doing a live you can definitely join me!”

you gave him pleading eyes that said, please don’t leave me alone with jeno, and finally it seemed that jisung took the hint. he nodded slowly agreeing to join your live. jeno spoke up,

“great! let me get changed and i’ll meet you guys in y/n’s room!”

as jeno’s room door closed behind him jisung followed you into yours. he sat at the desk chair, turning it away so he’d face the wall, letting you change clothes.

“you know exactly why i never do live’s with you and jeno, why did you drag me into this?”

he heard you shuffle out of your shoes, making a loud thump noise when you threw them somewhere.

“yeah yeah whatever i’m in love with jeno, that’s EXACTLY why i need you here ji.”

he heard some more grunts and groans as you pulled off your jeans and shirt,

“can i turn around now?”

“NO!”

he laughed at your yelling, looking over at the dark window being able to see you running around searching for clothes in your bra and panties. after 8 years you’d think you’d lose the shyness but here you were, forcing jisung to look away as you change and trying to hide your very obvious crush on jeno.

“the issue isn’t that you’re in love with him the issue is that HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO and neither of you seem to notice!”

jisung felt a shirt hit the back of his head,

“not so loud! what if he comes in right-”

you heard your door unlock, oh my god.

“hey y/n did you bring that extra charger my stupid cord is brok- oh hi jisung. hi… y/n? why are you hiding ?”

he glanced over at your crouched figure hiding behind your bed.

“i’m changing! it’s over there, now get out!”

you heard renjun laugh as he made his way back to the door,

“we’re waiting for jeno to come for a live, please save me renjun please!”

jisung put his hands up in a begging motion towards renjun.

“nope, you deal with the love birds yourself, byee”

you found a hoodie lying by your bed and rushed to put it on. renjun lifted his hand with the charger as jeno passed him at the doorway, indicating why he came. you stood up quickly fixing your hair a bit, throwing jisung a dirty look as he snorted at you. jeno came reaching his hand out to grab your waist,

“nice hoodie, looks familiar”

you looked down at your hoodie, actually, jeno’s hoodie, and blushed slightly, when did you pack jeno’s hoodie in your suitcase?

the live was going smoothly jisung and jeno playfully arguing and the comments flooding with isn’t that jeno’s hoodie and look at the way she looks at him. you really hoped jeno wasn’t reading those comments. there was one comment in particular that stood out to jisung which he read, outloud,

“jisungie stop third wheeling we want to see ynno”

you chuckled nervously,

“ynno is that supposed to be our couples name?”

jeno looked towards you, your eyes meeting for a second before you looked away towards the recording screen.

“well guys i will take your advice and let you enjoy this ynno live, bye! have a good night every one and take care of yourselves!”

jisung quickly got up ignoring the slight tug you gave his hoodie, he whispered into your ear

“i promise you he likes you back please just go for it”

and then he was gone leaving you and jeno chuckling nervously at one another.

“that was weird wasn’t it?”

you nodded in response thinking of ways you could murder your group members without it causing a scandal.

“i think it’s cute though, the ship name, it suits us, ynno sounds like a puppy name.”

he smiled, you hope he wasn’t lying. your heart was beating hard against your ribcage, words couldn’t leave you mouth as you just nodded again in agreement, lips pursed.

“uh well guys it is late, and you all should sleep, we have day 2 of the concert tomorrow so we hope to see you there! bye!”

he pressed the off button on the live dropping the phone flat on the desk.

“sorry, did that make you uncomfortable? i didn’t mean to. it was just a joke to lighten to mood.”

“a joke? yeah that makes it better thanks for lightening the mood jen.”

he could hear your bitter tone.

“hey, wait, what’s wrong?”

you sighed, what better time than mid tour to confess your feelings right?

“what is all this jeno? are you playing with me or what?”

“what are you talking about?”

“what am i talking about? are you serious? the hand holding, the intimate touching, the suggestive comments, you carried me bridal style to my room today!”

“i’m trying to be nice! i care about you! and what about you huh? you wear my clothes,”

he pinches the fabric of his hoodie that you’re wearing,

“you’re always touchy and wanna be near me. i didn’t even properly unpack cause i know you’ll just ask me to come sleep with you later tonight!”

you blushed, knowing that he was right,

“i just thought that’s what we are, y/n and jeno, jeno and y/n”

jeno seemed to be running out of words, he pushed his chair back hands coming to grip his jogging pants.

“what we are? what are we? i don’t know about you but i’m not like this with any of the other guys”

you bit your lip, embarrassed at your confession, and nervous that his response to your question would confirm your negative suspicions. to your surprise jeno had other plans, he dragged his chair closer to you, warm hands coming to grab your bare thighs,

“i think i like you, no wait, i know i like you, and the guys have been telling me to just own up to it, but i have no idea what any of this means. when i was a trainee they taught me to dance and rap but they never teach you about what to do when you fall in love with your group member.”

you stared at him wide eyed, did he just confess to you?

“can you please say something before i run out of here and die of embarrassment”

your mouth was dry and you licked your lips, trying to piece you thoughts together,

“okay wow, i need to apologize to jisung for doubting him.”

he looked at you confused, what did jisung have to do with this?

“oh sorry, i mean, jisung told me that you liked me and that i should just confess to you, but i didn’t believe him so-“

“wait confess to me? you like me too?”

you let out a nervous laugh,

“yeah i do, i have for a while, and you’re flirty little moves weren’t helping me get over you.”

his hands came up to cup you face,

“and who says i wanted you to get over me?”

as he leaned in, you closed you eyes waiting for your lips to touch just a tiny space left and then- ring ring ring ring, it better not be a damn saesang call right now or else. the contact name princess nana lit up your phone screen. you looked over at jeno a confused expression on your faces. you picked up wondering what the hell jaemin could possibly want at this time of day.

“jaem what’s up?”

“uh, you didn’t turn off the live, and we all kinda saw, well heard, all of that soooo… yeah turn off your live or something our manager won’t stop blowing up our phones.”

you flipped over the phone that had been discarded on the table and showed it to jeno, his smile dropped, quickly shutting off the live. you checked your unread messages to see your manager spamming you, and chenle laughing at you both in the group chat. oh you were gonna be in so much trouble.

[sorastar6]

David Chiem Protagonist AU- Prologue, part 1

I finally finished something that I was working on for a long time! Yay! This AU is basically going to be a series of fanfics that I write. I may or may not actually finish this and do everything I want, but I sure hope I don't lose any motivation. So, um... Enjoy! I hope this is good!

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in a loop?

That the more things change, the more they stay the exact same? The thought of that is funny, isn’t it? The world is big and new things happen every time, every day.

“All that you have to do is just find new things and new peop-”

Shut it. Just shut your mouth, it’s rude to interrupt others.

Your choices don’t matter, anything you do just doesn’t matter. If everything is just broken at its core, there’s nothing you can do about it. The days will go by, one by one, and your life will just stay miserable as it is.

…

You don’t believe me? Well then, let me just show you. Just look into my life, you’ll see everything you need. Let’s see if you can keep up with that “hopeful” worldview of yours.

I doubt you don’t know who I am, but I'll introduce myself anyway. My name’s David Chiem. I can see that look you’re giving me, I guess you do know who I am after all.

“But David! Your life is incredible! How can you say all of these things? You’re ungratef-”

Shut it. I’m not done.

You could’ve heard about me in several places, but most likely, it was from the Hope’s Peak Academy graduation ceremony that happened a few months ago. Yup, I graduated from Hope’s Peak, amazing, right?

No it isn’t amazing. Not when your talent is something you despise. I’m the former Ultimate Inspirational Speaker. With everything you’re hearing from me, you’re probably doubting that, right? ‘There’s no way that you are the real David Chiem! You sound so pessimisti-’

Hate to it break it to you, but David’s a liar. I AM a liar. I’m 25 years old, I’ve had my career for 5 years, and guess what? Everything is based on lies! Woah, what a twist! A big celebrity is a big liar and is able to make money off of it? That never happened before!

…

That was sarcasm if you were stupid enough to not notice. Open your eyes, people like me are everywhere in this world. Just spitting what people want to hear. And somehow, they are ignorant enough to fall for it. Such stupidity…

People don’t change. And I’m the living proof of it. I hate my fucking job, I hate having to deal with annoying fans, and to top it all off? I was forced into this by someone else! And yet, I don’t do anything to stop this. Why? Simple, I’m a lazy piece of shit. I don’t even have the courage to make a proper meal, imagine having to deal with countless backlash!

Disappointed? Sowwy, don’t care. I don’t have a noble or tragic reason to do what I do. And I bet all of those other Ultimates are all the same. Everything is the same in this damn world, anyone who can’t see it is just plain stupid. There you have it, thanks for coming to my Tedtalk on why this world is hopeless! You can fuck off now. Hate me all you want, then we’ll have something in common. None of you have a reason to stay by my side anymore, goodby███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

…

Everyone has to pay for their sins one day.

Wake up, David Chiem.

…

That was a strange dream. Even if it was just a dream, it still felt… Odd. It’s not a bad feeling, but it’s not good either. I can’t quite describe it, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Everything from that dream is already escaping my mind, so why bother?

How much time am I going to stay laid down here? I need to get up, I probably have something to do. But my head is killing me, so I want to stay in bed for a few more minutes. Wait, bed? This… Doesn’t feel like my bed. It’s more… Soft? But it still doesn’t feel comfortable like my bed. Maybe I prefer not what’s better, but what’s familiar?

There it goes again, my mind just thinking about random stuff that doesn't matter. I should just get up, but finding the energy to simply open my eyes feels like it will kill me. How pathetic. After some time, I opened them.

I tried adjusting my vision to the lighting of the room. It was dark, very dark. And yet, I could tell that this wasn’t my room.

“Sigh… What did I get myself into this time?”

I sat up on this bed, stretching my limbs until I could hear that satisfying crack. I passed a hand through myself to see the state that I’m in.

No injuries, no blood, but still a mess.

I wasn’t about to tidy myself up. There is a much bigger issue at my hands.

I was just barely able to stand up, my body getting the desire to succumb to this tiredness. But I pressed on to the door. I placed my hand on the knob, looking back at the dark room behind me. Maybe staying here and resting would be a good idea, but that also could lead to me getting chained to a wall. Fuck, second guessing, I hate it.

I just looked straight into the door, knowing very well that if I just glanced at that bed, I would just throw myself in it. So, I took a deep breath.

…

And I opened the door.

And I was immediately pushed down to the ground.

“Ow! What the-”

I couldn’t even finish my sentence before my gaze met a familiar pair of sharp red eyes. Eyes that… looked like it belonged to a cat.

“… D-david?”

“… Nico…?”

[agendabymooner]

pride & pettiness || jb22 series (1)

jenson button x ofc (british actress!ofc)

EXTENSION TO THE MR. DARCY TYPE (SMAU)

Summary: Ada James Abbott was an actress first and a writer second, but it seems like meeting a certain Jenson Button added more to her title as she learned to love and list down the most significant moments of her life with him.

OR her book, Mr. Driver, consisted of diary entries and memories that Ada remembered still to this day. These are the contents of the journals.

Content warning: Use of explicit language, Pride & Prejudice references, email exchanges, journal entries + scenarios (per time skip), fluff, yearning, Mr. Darcy & Lizzie Bennet dynamic (with a bit more humour and less aloofness), strangers to situationship to lovers??

Note: I’ve been talking to @daaiissyyyyy about sharing this thing because I have kept it in my drafts for a while. This may not continue or may continue but enjoy xx

a - n masterlist

o - z masterlist

i. 2004 In which, Ada and Jenson met for the first time. Also when the British actress found him attractive until he started talking.

JOURNAL ENTRY 1: SILVERSTONE 2004 — MR. HONDA DRIVER IS A HANDSOME GIT

I thought Hugh Dancy was the most attractive and insufferable man to have ever existed. But then my manager generously forced me to attend a race in Silverstone that eventually led me to some man named Jenson Button. He graced the grid with his boyish smile and his trademark charm that made me wonder if girls had ever fallen to their knees to be with him. 

But his charm was arrogance in disguise. Who would have thought that a man so handsome could be stupid enough to downplay a stranger’s ability? Especially if he hadn’t seen enough of what I do? He doesn’t even know who I am and I don’t think that he is ever interested to know— but his jokes said otherwise. The endless flirting wasn’t the only thing that had my face flushing. 

I probably overthink his jokes and had taken it to heart. But I can’t be blamed for that. He’s just attractive and I thought that he had potential. Then again, I shouldn’t expect too much from men. 

SILVERSTONE, ENGLAND

Martin Brundle and his Grid Walk was the best part of the race; each celebrity or guest who graced the race with their presence loved having a conversation with him. 

Ada James Abbott’s experience, however, was something of a memorable one. After all, meeting the most handsome man to have ever existed happened there. Live on the telly with his stupid attractive smile. 

“The movie, King Arthur, is in its first box office week. You happened to play Guinevere,” Martin pointed out, making Ada nod and grin.

She stood next to him with all the smiles that she could offer — just happy to be recognized by someone in this industry of sports. The former driver then continued, “And you’re here in the grid now to spectate and enjoy the race— do tell: why were you not here the last time when the Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out? We were anticipating your appearance as you have obviously played the role of Elizabeth Swann. I was hoping to tell you more about what I thought of it.”

Ada giggled quietly before answering, “The schedule was quite tight during that time with having to go to tours and promote the film and filming other works in progress. We can absolutely discuss what you think but I do not think that it’ll be something that everyone would like to hear about on such a busy day!” 

“Are you a fan of Formula One?” The reporter asked, a glint of curiosity washing through his features as he waited for the British actress to answer. 

Ada then hummed, “It used to be something I watched. My father tried to rope me into watching it with him before, but it seemed to be only effective for my brothers Ralph and Nathan. I would watch at least… a race every month. It’s- yeah- it’s not something I would watch by myself so being here now and watching the real thing is an experience my dad would kill to see firsthand.” 

“And you’ve met the drivers from the team you happened to be a guest in?” 

“I did,” Ada replied with a nod, “David Coulthard, or DC— he insisted that I call him that— is a lovely man. He ran through the basics of his car and obviously had put up with my lack of knowledge in the technical aspects of the race. Kimi Raikkönen is a rather reserved one, and we’d obviously have to work on our relationship because of the lack of communication. Otherwise, it is amazing! I’m quite fortunate to be at the McLaren gar—“

“Would you look at that beauty!” Ada turned towards the direction of the voice and found herself staring at the facial features of the speaker. 

A handsome man, he was. 

“I think that you are speaking about yourself, Jenson,” Martin joked as ‘Jenson’ approached the two, now standing next to Ada as her face flushed red. “That head of yours would make the car lose its balance.” 

“I didn’t say anything about myself,” Jenson scoffed playfully before peering down at Ada with a… smirk.

Ada lost all of her senses as Jenson began to speak, “‘Sides, if anything— this pretty face would make me lose my balance.” 

“I assume that you’ve seen Ada James Abbott before,” Martin piped up, making Ada glance at the man and shift back to look at him.

She wasn’t able to see the handsome man, Jenson, next to her, but she could remember how the upper part of his race suit hung from his waist and how his eyes lingered on her. 

What she wasn’t able to see however was the shaking of his head. Martin then continued to speak, “She’s quite an amazing actress, Jenson.”

“Is she really?” This comment had Ada turning as she looked at Jenson, whose smirk continued to grow while he spoke. “I’d believe any lie that you would tell me, especially if I’m being graced with your beauty.”

“What is that supposed to mean, exactly?” Ada spewed out, slightly baffled as he laughed heartily. 

“I’m just saying,” Jenson winked at her, “I’ll believe it when I see a trophy, darling.” 

With one comment, all the butterflies in her stomach had turned into something more sour. Ada Abbott’s smile turned strained as she only nodded before looking back at Martin Brundle. She wasn’t about to give this man the time of day right now. Perhaps he’d have to either retract his words or at least act like he just insulted her on live television instead of joking around like nothing happened. 

JOURNAL ENTRY 2: EAT YOUR OWN WORDS, MR. HONDA DRIVER.

I just won my third trophy of the year. It’s quite amazing. But there’s something wonderful about making Jenson Button eat his own words. It was probably my pride that asked for his email address but sending him an image felt nothing of malice but satisfaction. God, did it feel so good. 

TO BE CONTINUED

[remindingpersephone]

Taylor Swift

Here is an unsolicited post about Taylor Swift.

Disclosure: I am a country music fan since birth. So when Taylor Swift appeared in 2004 I thought she was just a cute kid singing and playing guitar. Boy, did I miss that one.

I wasn't surprised when she went pop because county music stars have been crossing over into pop for ages. But she didn't just record a few songs, she completely changed genres. And I like her pop music better than her country music. I think 1989 is fucking brilliant.

But even still, I'm not what I'd call a fan of Taylor Swift. I was surprised that she became The Most Famous Star In The World. I mean she is truly huge. I believe her extreme fame is due to a combination of writing really good music the resonates with a lot of people, being in the right place at the right time, and social media. I don't begrudge her one ounce of her success. Girl has worked hard and sets a high standard for herself. That level of fame has to make parts of her life very difficult and I feel sorry that she can't just throw on some flip flops and run to Target for ice cream and eyeliner if she wants to. But she deals with the downsides of fame and lives her life the way she wants to, regardless of what the "Chads, Brads, and Dad's" whine about. She's awesome and a very good role model for all children, but especially young girls.

The (over)reaction to her being at her boyfriend's football games is stupid. It says so much more about the people bitching than it does about her. I also think where she stands politically is of no concern, and the only reason certain people are sweating it is because of her influence on her fans.

While I may not be a Taylor Swift fan, I am a fan of Swifties. I love everyone of those folks because they adore her and they are a force to be reckoned with. Every time I see a negative post or article about Taylor Swift I like her a little bit more, and I cheer for her fans when they rise up for her. I think people talking shit about something someone else loves JUST because they love it, is cruel and pathetic. This goes for anything and everything, but it is especially evident right now.

So I hope her fans are super-stroked for "The Tortured Poets Department" and don't you let anybody take that joy from you.

[tsumuus]

Hiii! I couldn't help but notice your 555 event and I would really love to participate in it. Could you do a matchup with an MHA character in a romantic relationship? I am heterosexual (straight) and I am a female. I'm pretty chaotic but sometimes calm as well. I kind of have a lot of different personalities but I can be low key sadistic, insane, snarky to other people. I'm not really a fan of socializing with people, but that doesn't mean I don't have a few friends. Around others, I'm pretty quite and rude, indirectly insulting them but brushing it off like "it's nothing" or whatever, I mean I do try to have manners to, but there's an extent where that goes. I'll just say the usual but don't expect me to compliment. But around my like... one friend (don't judge me) I am laughing like a hyena with her at every tiny little thing. And we even go to food courts at a mall, sometimes coffee shops or just the park and sit somewhere in a corner so we can silently judge everyone and make funny stories up for them. I usually try to stay calm under pressure or stop myself from blowing up when I'm angry cuz if I do, it's bye bye poor human, you won't even need a grave to bury your dead body cuz your soul and lifeless being is being sent straight to god. But most of the time I try to stay calm cuz my best friend keeps me under control from outright insulting people and forcing on a smile. My love language is physical touch or quality time because I find comfort in just being with a person. Words don't necessarily have to be exchanged. I'm pretty chill with my receiving love language, but I prefer physical touch too. My hobbies are sleeping. Yes I like to sleep quite a lot. For most of the day that is. I guess you can say I'm pretty nocturnal since throughout the day I feel lazy but at night, I go with my friend to 24 hour grocery stores for snack runs and twice I have scared two employees by being a bit too dark and chaotic and my friend had to give them an extra tip so they wouldn't call the cops on us (yeah I think I need some help). I also like to think of serial killer stories for everyone and what would they go to jail for, whether it be teachers from back when I was in school, or my classmates from then, or anything for that matter. It gets pretty fun too. When it comes to dating, I really really need someone who is chill. Cuz if that person has a lot of energy 80-85% of the time, then I am sorry, he will have to deal with my lazy ass, I CAN NOT! I hate partying too, cuz that would mean socializing. Honestly, if I have my partner to yap to about stupid things I read on the internet, that is more than enough. And also I would like someone who would be able to deal with me like I am normal cuz I have a lot of weird habits and outbreaks so if he could just be like... "..." "okay moving on" ...that would be really nice. And I absolutely hate judgy people or people or try to give me unnecessary pity or beat around the bush. Because I really hate when they won't get to the point. And also, I wouldn't see it as a defect or anything, but just something unconventional, if my partner tries to get me to me to be more nicer instead of being snarky, that kinda sounds like big defect. But we could try working it out. And he shouldn't be like "Girls can't do this" or "girls can't do that" I will piak him to the sun to get his ass burned instead of roasting him myself. Basically, I'd like someone with an open mind. I really appreciate you doing this, thanks. I hope you have a great day ahead °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

your perfect match is...

₊✩‧₊˚ shoto todoroki ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ runner ups: tokoyami fumikage and neito monoma ˚₊✩‧₊

✧₊⁺ he’s not one to get flustered or overwhelmed easily, so your chaotic energy and sharp wit wouldn't bother him

✧₊⁺ his nonchalant nature means he wouldn't judge or pity you, he’d simply understand that it’s just part of who you are

✧₊⁺ you mentioned that you can be both calm and chaotic depending on the situation

✧₊⁺ shoto, with his dual nature, can relate to that balance

✧₊⁺ he would appreciate your calmness when you're being chill and laid-back

✧₊⁺ but also wouldn’t mind when you flip the switch to your more chaotic side

✧₊⁺ he’s someone who naturally accepts people’s complexities and wouldn’t expect you to be one-dimensional

✧₊⁺ since you're not into socializing or partying, shoto is the perfect match

✧₊⁺ he’s introverted and prefers quiet moments over loud, crowded places

✧₊⁺ you both could spend hours together in comfortable silence, or just talking about random things you’ve read or thought about, something you mentioned you'd enjoy

✧₊⁺ your love language being physical touch and quality time fits well with shoto

✧₊⁺ he isn’t much for words, so he’d naturally express his affection through subtle touches, like placing a hand on your back or holding your hand when you're walking

✧₊⁺ also he might find your darker sense of humor oddly entertaining

✧₊⁺ while he wouldn’t actively join in with your "chaotic behavior," he would certainly listen and maybe even offer his own dry, deadpan responses that make you laugh

✧₊⁺ if you ever needed help with damage control

✧₊⁺ he’s the type who could easily step in and diffuse situations with his stoic demeanor

✧₊⁺ shoto is very open-minded and understanding due to the hardships he’s been through

✧₊⁺ so he would never be the type to belittle you for your habits, quirks, or behavior

✧₊⁺ he wouldn’t try to change you drastically, but if he ever encouraged you to be a little kinder (like you mentioned), it would come from a place of genuine care, not judgment or superiority

✧₊⁺ your fear of losing control when you're angry would not faze shoto

✧₊⁺ he’s used to intense, fiery outbursts thanks to his background

✧₊⁺ so, if you ever do lose your temper, he would remain calm, helping you cool down without adding fuel to the fire

a/n hope you enjoy! <3

₊✩‧₊˚ 555 follower event ! ˚₊✩‧₊

main masterlist

[morganski-19]

Steddie Week Day 2: Angst

@steddie-week

apparently, I can never leave things as a one-shot so today's submission is a continuation of yesterday's. tomorrow's will also be a continuation of this idea so I will properly link it all once it is done.

part 1, part 3

Steve walks up to Eddie’s trailer, muttering small encouragements under his breath. It’s no big deal, just him and Eddie alone. No one to take his focus away or distract him before he says something stupid. No, just him and Eddie in an empty trailer, alone. 

He knows exactly what’s going to happen. Eddie’s going to say something nice like he always does, and Steve is going to flush. Struggle to find something to say in return and instead, just make a total fool of himself and say something too far. Eddie will laugh it off like he does and it returns back to the comfortable silence between two good friends. 

Because it totally wasn’t awkward to just sit in silence with someone while skirting off touches and trying too hard not to stare that you just end up doing it anyway. Totally not awkward. 

All Steve hopes is that he can get through one night without spiraling. Being around Eddie was enough, he can’t let his mind wander to places he knows he’ll never come back from. If he leans into the touch that Eddie loves to give or the smile that seems to form whenever Steve is around, there will be no coming back from that. He’ll tell Eddie how he feels and how he wants this to be more. But it can’t. 

Eddie didn’t like Steve like that. Hell, Steve didn’t even know if he liked guys. Under the assumption that he did, Steve couldn’t help but think that he was so not what Eddie’s type would be. He couldn’t imagine a metalhead dating a preppy ex-jock like him. No, he’d go for someone a bit more rough around the edges. Someone who liked the same music and movies, who didn’t have to stop and ask a million questions every time he talked about something Steve didn’t understand. Someone who didn’t have bad days where his head just couldn’t stop spinning and any small noise made him want to throw up. 

Someone who wasn’t Steve. Because Steve seemed to mess up every relationship he’s ever been in, and he didn’t want to mess up whatever he had with Eddie. 

He knocks on the trailer door, taking a deep breath before putting on a smile he knows is fake. There is stumbling around coming from inside the trailer before the door whips open, Eddie greeting Steve with his big smile. “Stevie, glad to see you actually showed up.”

“I said I would, didn’t I,” he says, trying to be playful but just coming off annoyed. 

Eddie rolls his eyes. “With the way you’ve been avoiding me the past few weeks, I was waiting for a phone call with an excuse.” He leads Steve into the house, shutting the door behind them. “But here you are, and as promised. The late tapes.”

He holds out a stack of two tapes. “There’s supposed to be three,” Steve comments as he takes the tapes out of Eddie’s hands. 

“I am well aware of that. I thought we could watch that one since I know you’re not a fan of horror. Don’t want to have to hold you’re hand when you get too scared.”

The lump returns in Steve’s throat. “Thanks,” he squeaks out, unable to find a response that would make him look better. He really does hate horror movies. 

Eddie brushes him off. “What are friends for, right? Go on, settle in. I’m getting a beer, want one?”

Steve gives him a small nod and focuses on the couch, sitting in his normal spot. Eddie wanders off to the kitchen, muttering something Steve can’t make out under his breath. 

Friends. Steve and Eddie were friends, nothing more. He knew that, forced himself to recognize it on a daily basis. It used to bring him some happiness, knowing that he at least had Eddie in his life. But as they got close, the affection he had for the other man only grew. Now being around him hurt. 

Because Eddie would throw around words not knowing how they would affect Steve. Calling him nicknames that bordered on the line of romantic. Calling him sweetheart or princess just to crawl under his skin, but them having the opposite effect, only making Steve flush instead of getting annoyed. Saying “It’s a date” when they both knew it wasn’t. It was just a regular hangout, but Eddie would call it that just to tease him. 

And Steve couldn’t stop his reactions. His face would betray him as blood rushed to it, painting his face red. His throat would close up with a lump so big that he could barely get a word out. Insides tying up in a knot only to remind him that he was so out of his comfort zone. 

He doesn’t really know why he acts like this, usually acting so smooth and confident around the people he likes. Maybe because there was always the knowledge in the back of his head that if he struck out with the next girl, there would probably be one that wanted him. Even when he was constantly striking out, he never was short on finding words, instead, they just flew out of his mouth in the most awkward way possible. But he was Steve Harrington then, that at least got him something. 

That something didn’t work with Eddie. His ‘Harrington Charm’ was put on the sidelines when the other man was around. Because when Steve was around Eddie, he wasn’t ‘Steve Harrington the old king of Hawkins High’. He was just Steve, plain old Steve who was traumatized and hurt beyond what any other person his age has been. Steve who was fragile and gentle in all the right ways. Steve who was insecure about his appearance and wondered who could see through the cracks of his mask enough to see that he’s not who he claims to be. 

Eddie never saw that though, even though the mask tends to slip whenever Steve was around him. Because out of all the things Eddie did, he never pitied Steve for his pain, never made him feel less than for having a bad day. Never expected anything more from Steve that he couldn’t give, only wanted what he could. He just wanted to be around Steve for Steve. 

It was so easy to fall for Eddie because of that. How could he not? It sometimes felt that there were only two people in the world who knew who Steve really was, Robin and Eddie. The two people he could be himself around and would never get any judgment from. And Robin was his platonic soulmate, it only made sense that the other person would take the other side of his heart. 

“Alright, Stevie,” Eddie plops down on the couch and hands Steve a beer, clanking their bottle together. “Let’s watch this thing.”

Eddie tosses his arm across the back of the couch, hand ghosting over Steve’s shoulder. He shifts, pulling away from the touch he so wants to sink into. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “Let’s watch it.”

[mostthingskenobi]

CASSIAN'S RECKONING - Chapter 18: The Reach

CHAPTER SUMMARY: A blatant proximity trope. That's what fan fics are for, right?!?!

This is one of my favorite chapters :) Because I am always here for a good proximity trope. If you think about it, the entire Rogue One movie is a forced proximity trope...Tony Gilroy and Gareth Edwards, I thank you.

In this chapter, Cassian says something in Kenari. I did some research about the language and I read that it's a mix of Spanish and Hungarian. Sadly, I don't know anything about Hungarian, but I learned a smattering of Mexican Spanish when I was in high school. So, I decided my version of Kenari would just be Spanish (firstly because I don't speak Hungarian and secondly because I wanted to show Diego respect). Thank you to my dear friend Adela for double checking my translation and helping me make it more accurate. (It's a small moment, but there's more to come in future chapters.)

I hope you enjoy!

READ THE FIC ON AO3

THIS IS A WHUMPY FIC W/GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE. PLEASE HEED THE TAGS ON AO3.

——————–

CHAPTER 18: THE REACH

“One way out! One way out!”

Prisoners were pushing past him by the dozen, shouting their freedom chant as they jumped from the platform to the waves below. The crowd’s momentum pulled him backward, inch by inch getting closer to the edge. He stretched out his hand, reaching through the bodies. “Come on!” he shouted.

Jyn, dressed in the dehumanizing Narkina 5 uniform, cowered, pressing against the prisoners behind her. “I can’t,” she said shaking her head.

He could see she was terrified but this was their only chance. If they didn’t jump now, they’d be prisoners forever. “Jyn, take my hand! We have to go!”

She began to collapse to the ground. “I can’t swim.”

A large figure appeared at his side. He turned and found himself face to face with a man who preyed upon his memory. Kino Loy’s eyes were hard and filled with fury, his hulking body crowding Andor back until he teetered on the platform edge. Paralyzed by fear, the rebel’s own eyes widened with horror; he only had time for his gaze to shift from Kino to Jyn and back before the huge man brutally shoved him overboard. Jyn disappeared as the prison’s exterior wall rushed by. The fall lasted long enough to panic, but the plummet was so sickening Cassian couldn’t even scream. Instead of hitting icy water, he smashed into a durasteal beam, bouncing until he landed on a metal grate inside a citadel tower, every bone in his body bursting like stardust…

…Cassian’s eyelids dragged open.

He lay still for a long time, face down in his bunk, letting his heartrate and breathing return to normal before he allowed himself to move.

This one had felt real.

He hated vivid dreams.

His experience on Narkina 5 was so profoundly dark it had burned its memories into his bones. The prison’s clean orderliness had been a veneer barely masking a system that was so sinister, so hopeless, so deeply futile that it haunted Cassian to this day. Kino Loy, a man who commanded respect and led hundreds of men to a freedom he could never share, was one of Cassian’s deepest regrets. If he could go back and change one thing about his past, he would grab Kino and drag him to safety.

But it hadn’t been possible.

Cassian shivered as he realized he’d left Jyn on that platform just like he’d left Kino.

He rolled onto his back and stared up at the metal bulkhead.

He knew what it all meant; the nightmares weren’t exactly subtle. He was afraid of missing his chance, of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or in the right place at the right time and messing it up, or making a stupid mistake that killed someone he cared about.

But he also knew he couldn’t control any of that. Which ultimately meant the dream was about living with fear, accepting it, facing it, thriving in spite of it.

Cassian rubbed his hands across his face. “I need coffee,” he grumbled.

What he really needed was a solid night’s rest that didn’t include nightmares of Jyn screaming, bleeding, or crying. Tarkin’s torture had pried open a level of vulnerability Cassian wasn’t sure how to heal. His nerves felt raw, like his past was fighting with the present. Everything Jyn said to him the night before lingered in his mind, battling with a lifetime of insignificance. He had grown up the outsider, the selfish taker, the lost boy. He’d been aimless, careless, and angry. But ever since he’d joined the Rebel Alliance, all that pent up emotion was directed into something meaningful. Even so, Jyn had been right; deep down, in spite of his efforts, Cassian thought he was living on borrowed time. He couldn’t imagine himself as an old man, couldn’t even picture where he’d be in a year, and he always assumed that meant he wouldn’t live to be very old. He’d survived by mere chance so many times that he figured one day fate would catch up and want him to pay his dues. After Jyn said she was proud of him, for the first time in his life Cassian began to wonder if he’d survived all the horror for a reason. Perhaps fate had spared him because he was, in fact, trying to give others the freedom and safety he’d never known.

His brow pulled together as an uncharacteristically buoyant idea crept into his mind. He thought of Jyn, of all the moments that, when you added them up, equaled something undeniable; tackling him to protect him from a grenade on Jedha, supporting his injured body on Scarif, rescuing him from Tarkin, sitting by his bedside holding his hand while he recovered in the medical ward. He hadn’t just survived; he’d been protected. Perhaps they weren’t living on borrowed time; perhaps his time with Jyn was a gift, an opportunity for something neither of them had ever dared accept.

The idea almost scared him.

He loved her; he could finally admit that to himself.

But loving someone meant you had something worth losing.

And that vulnerability terrified him.

Cassian had already lost too much.

Could he risk losing her?

That’s just love. Nothing you can do about that.

Maarva’s words made him catch his breath; he could not think of his mother without also feeling the dull blade of grief.

But he relaxed and closed his eyes, letting the feelings have their way. Cassian lay back, tucking his hands behind his head, and turned inward.

“OK, Mom,” he whispered.

——————–

Rogue One gathered in the bunk room again that evening for another round of sabacc. No one had any money to gamble, so for credits Bodhi purchased several boxes of horrendously sour candy in the ship’s exchange. Whenever someone won a hand, they were required to eat a candy. Jyn currently had tears streaming down her face as she stomped her boot on the floor. “You bastard!” she shouted as the others laughed. She went to crunch the candy in half but they all protested.

“No, no, no!” Cassian cried, grabbing her shoulder. “You can’t cheat!”

“You know the rules!” Bodhi guffawed.

Baze was wheezing so hard he couldn’t speak. No one had ever seen him laugh like that.

Chirrut was beaming, basking in the ebullience created by his friends in the Force.

“I’m literally sweating!” Jyn squawked. “What kind of monster are you?” she pointed at Bodhi. The pilot was in stitches, hugging himself while he laughed. “This candy is evil! Why are you punishing us for winning?”

They had never laughed so hard as a group. And they knew it. An air of awareness hung over them, each realizing what a relief it was to feel joy.

“All the blood has drained from your face,” Cassian burst out, bending forward over his knees as he lost control again.

She gently shoved him and smiled, holding the candy between her teeth. “Just wait ‘til it’s your turn, Andor!” Finally, the sweets dissolved and Jyn gasped for air, wiping sweat from her brow. “You absolute bastard!” she glared at Bodhi. “You look all innocent and mild on the outside, but deep down you’re a fiend.”

“Keeps the playing field even,” Bodhi chuckled.

The group threw more candy in the table’s center for an ante.

“I never want to win again,” Jyn said wiping her eyes.

They played for a long time, but, despite his best efforts, Cassian began fading quickly. When the game paused while Chirrut and Baze went in search of drinks, Jyn turned to him and spoke quietly. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You can hardly keep your eyes open.”

He rubbed his face hard before pushing his hands up into his hair. “I haven’t been sleeping very well.”

“Is it odd being in a different place? A new ship, a new room?”

A grimace turned up the corner of his mouth. “No, I can sleep anywhere; on the ground, on a ship, in a prison, tied to a chair. I can do it all.”

She forced herself to smile.

“Is that joke too dark?” he teased.

Jyn rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”

He sighed and let his head droop forward.

“Bad dreams?” she asked, her voice serious again but still hushed.

He nodded.

She leaned toward him, her body pressing against his shoulder as she gently touched the fading bruise on his forehead. “No injuries today?” She brushed a rogue lock of hair off his brow.

Cassian turned.

Their eyes met.

And for a moment neither of them could breathe.

“It’s too quiet in my quarters,” he finally said, not breaking eye contact.

“Lets the bad dreams in?”

“I think so.”

She could hear Bodhi rummaging in his footlocker nearby. The members of Rogue One were not fools; Jyn suspected they all assumed something existed between her and Cassian, but she still didn’t like the idea of anyone examining her behavior, no matter what evidence they were looking for. Even so, she couldn’t pull her gaze away from Cassian’s. “What would help you sleep?”

He glanced down at her lips.

She could see that his breathing had deepened.

Suddenly, all Jyn wanted was to push her fingers through Cassian’s hair and close her lips over his. Instead, she swallowed thickly before saying, “Maybe you should try sleeping somewhere noisy.”

Bodhi slammed his locker shut just as Baze and Chirrut arrived with a bottle and glasses.

Cassian blinked and Jyn turned back to the group as Chirrut handed them drinks. “This should get the taste of those awful candies out of your mouth,” the guardian said with a smile.

“You’re a true hero, Chirrut,” Cassian said dryly before tossing the amber liquid down his throat in one go.

“I help where I can,” the guardian responded warmly.

They gathered around the table and shuffled out the cards again, but it wasn’t long before Cassian began to fall asleep sitting up.

“Perhaps I gave you too much,” Chirrut offered as Andor’s head dipped forward before jerking back.

“I’m a lightweight these days,” Cassian replied with a slightly drunken smile.

“I appreciate a cheap date,” the guardian snorted.

“Do you mind if I just lay down for a little?” he asked the group. His eyes shifted to Jyn’s. “I don’t mean to invade your personal space…”

She smiled and gestured with her head that she didn’t mind in the least.

Cassian crawled behind her, stretching out on his back.

“Do you want us to be quiet?” Bodhi asked.

“No,” Cassian replied, his eyes already closed. “I like the noise.”

The bunk was muffled and cozy. His friends continued their game as dark sleep crept around his consciousness. Cassian hadn’t felt this safe in a long time, Jyn sitting by his side, Chirrut laughing, Bodhi shuffling cards, Baze telling jokes. The noise was good. He tucked an arm behind his head, stuffing the pillow into a more comfortable position. His last thought before drifting off was that the soft fabric near his cheek smelled like Jyn.

——————–

When the card game broke up about an hour later, Cassian was deep in sleep. So deep, in fact, that Jyn couldn’t wake him. She shook his shoulder and said his name but received no response. She leaned closer and spoke louder. “Cass.” His left eyebrow pulled up for a second before going slack again. Jyn looked at Bodhi who hovered by her side. “I don’t know what to do.”

The pilot gave her a pathetic noncommittal look before saying, “Nothing you really can do.”

The overhead lights flashed, indicating lights out in five minutes.

“Shit!” Jyn grumbled, throwing up her hands. “Where am I supposed to sleep? I have an early meeting with Draven tomorrow. I need to get some rest.”

“Just get in there next to him,” Baze said, leaning down from his bunk above Jyn’s. “You can fit.”

The thought hadn’t crossed her mind, but she stooped in and found that she could squeeze in by the inside wall.

“If an officer sees you both, you’ll get in trouble,” Bodhi warned.

“I’m an officer, and so is he,” she said hiking her thumb at the unconscious Andor. “If you have a better suggestion, I’m happy to hear it.”

“You didn’t try very hard to wake him up.”

“Be my guest.”

Bodhi took a timid step forward before leaning into Jyn’s bunk. “Cassian,” he said loudly, shaking the commander by both shoulders. A small grunt came from the back of the sleeping man’s throat but other than that, he didn’t budge. Bodhi turned back to Jyn. “Yeah, he’s not waking up.”

“Thanks for your help,” she muttered sarcastically as the pilot retreated to his own bunk. The overhead lights flashed out and orange running lights came on along the floor. Jyn sighed and made up her mind. She grabbed hold of the rack above hers and climbed over Cassian’s body, careful not to jostle him. She pulled shut the long, black privacy curtain then settled against the inside wall. The bunks were incredibly narrow, and since Cassian was flat on his back taking up most of the room, she had to prop up on her right side. Jyn didn’t mind; she’d slept in worse conditions.

A thin line of orange light peeked through the curtain’s edge, backlighting Cassian’s features. Before drifting off she watched him, listened to his steady breathing, felt his weight on the mattress. Her last thought before falling asleep was that seeing him so peaceful was worth getting in trouble.

Hours passed and the room eventually settled and grew silent, apart from the usual sounds aboard a star freighter and the occasional snore.

In the night’s deepest hour Cassian became restless, his arms and legs contracting so much that it shook Jyn awake. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, unsure what had roused her, but when she heard his panicked breathing she knew he was in the throes of a nightmare. At first, she wasn’t sure what to do; anyone startled from a bad dream could accidentally lash out. The last thing she needed was for Cassian to flail around in these close quarters and break her nose.

Eventually, she settled on trying to calm him without waking him, so she ran her hand across his chest and gently stroked her fingers along his collarbone. She tried to send calming, comforting energy through her palm into his heart.

Without warning he rolled onto his side toward her, bringing them so close together she could feel his breath on her cheek.

He sighed deeply.

She could sense he had awakened.

“Jyn?” he asked too loudly.

“Shhh,” she whispered.

“It’s so dark I can’t see.” he whispered back. “Did I fall asleep in your rack?”

“Yes.”

“Shit.”

He was quiet for a long time. She couldn’t see his face anymore since his shoulders now blocked the light coming in around the curtain’s edge.

He didn’t move to leave.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” he finally asked, still keeping his voice quiet.

“I tried and so did Bodhi.” She shrugged in the darkness.

“But now what am I supposed to do?” She could hear the smile in his voice; he was teasing her. “What if someone sees me crawl out of your bunk?”

“Who cares?”

She could feel that his face had moved slightly closer to hers. “You don’t care?”

“No.”

“You don’t care how it looks?”

“I’ve never cared what other people think of me. It only matters what I think of me.”

Once again, they both fell silent. She could feel that he was breathing harder, just like her.

Jyn would be lying if she said this was an unpleasant predicament. Cassian’s friendship, their unspoken devotion, was a lovely, meaningful thing. But she could not deny that she found him absolutely and completely attractive. He was handsome to be sure, intelligent and disarming, but his good looks were magnified by far more important traits. No other man could both challenge and uplift her as he did. He was independent, confident, but not too proud to admit when he was wrong. He laughed with her, spoke to her as an equal, treated her with respect even when they first met and he wasn’t sure he could trust her.

Now that they were only inches apart, rolled together in a narrow ship rack in a room with fifty-nine other people, the rest of the galaxy seemed to disintegrate.

Cassian suddenly pulled her into his arms, breathing her name as he nuzzled against her, their lips brushing together. She cupped his face in her hands and gently traced his jaw, his cheek, his lips. He smelled like clear, fresh water warmed by the sun; she found him intoxicating. His fingers slipped up her neck and disappeared in her hair, pulling her even closer against him. Their eagerness was palpable, but they didn’t kiss. Instead, they clung to each other, as though Scarif’s scars demanded they finally come full circle, holding each other as they had on that deadly beach. Their breath came in shuddering gasps as an untenable dam of emotions threatened to break. Pleasure and pain and loss and joy surged to Cassian and Jyn’s surface. These two people, haunted by wrongs they could not right and misfortunes they could not repair, had finally reached for each other. That feat alone was a massive leap of faith, letting their guard down long enough to not just admit their desire, but to act on it.

She hooked her leg over his and completely closed the distance between their bodies. “Cassian,” she sighed, pulling his lips nearer.

His thumb gently played across her mouth. “Te quiero besar,” he whispered in a language he knew she didn’t understand.

She could feel his breath on her tongue.

Just as he was about to press his lips to hers, the bunk above them creaked and Baze grunted down the rack ladder, his foot shifting on the wrung mere inches from Cassian’s head on the other side of the curtain. Cassian froze, both he and Jyn instantly snapping back to reality. He listened wide-eyed as the guardian’s steps hit the floor and shuffled toward the bathroom.

He refocused on Jyn. “I should go. If I get caught here, we’ll both end up in the brig.”

She nodded.

They were disappointed by the interruption but energized by the wall that had suddenly come down between them. Cassian smiled and quickly pressed his cheek to hers. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered in her ear. He drew back, one final caress sliding over her neck before rolling under the curtain. She couldn’t hear his steps as he walked away. Still a spy, she smiled to herself and pulled the blanket over her head.

——————–

END NOTES

NEXT CHAPTER IS CALLED “THE HOLOGRAM” - Jyn finally learns why she wasn't put on leave. She is not a happy camper. Brace for impact.

Thank you for reading!

Likes, comments, and reblogs are very welcome!

Much love!

——————–

READ IT ON AO3- Kudos and Comments Welcome :-)

READ CHAPTER 1 “The Razor”

READ CHAPTER 2 “The Scythe”

READ CHAPTER 3 “The Cold”

READ CHAPTER 4 “The Expendable”

READ CHAPTER 5 “The Truth”

READ CHAPTER 6 “The Detritus”

READ CHAPTER 7 “The Salt”

READ CHAPTER 8 “The Power”

READ CHAPTER 9 “The Betrayal”

REACH CHAPTER 10 “The Ruse”

READ CHAPTER 11 “The Reprieve”

READ CHAPTER 12 “The Ghosts”

READ CHAPTER 13 “The Redemption”

READ CHAPTER 14 “The Spoils”

READ CHAPTER 15 “The Interrogation”

READ CHAPTER 16 “The Rogues”

READ CHAPTER 17 “The Absolution”

READ CHAPTER 18 "The Reach"

READ CHAPTER 19 “The Hologram”

READ CHAPTER 20 “The Divide”

READ CHAPTER 21 “The Cost”

READ CHAPTER 22 “The Fallout”

READ CHAPTER 23 “The Wounds”

READ CHAPTER 24 “The Hand”

READ CHAPTER 25 “The Heart”

READ CHAPTER 26 “The Beginning”

[catchyhuh]

KIDS!!

no not like what they were like AS kids. that's cute though i might do that later but anyway this is just how they are around children. you bring up canon i shoot you dead. now let’s get goin

lupin:

lupin LOVES kids. does that mean he’s good with them/should be trusted to watch them and keep them from accidentally dying? no

he’s expected to have them because. gestures. but he’s not really in a rush. he’s just kind of waiting for fate to do something. (he’s hoping fate will have something to do with fujiko giving his kid pretty incredible genes but the reality is he’d probably stumble across some embittered oliver twist adjacent kid and take them in)

the REALest reality is he’s just every child he runs into’s favorite uncle. he’s a horrible influence and you know kids LOVE that. holds them by their ankles, throws them like five feet into a pool, they LOVE it, and it horrifies every reasonable adult nearby. except his friends. they’ve grown immune to the terrifying sights that come with this guy.

jigen:

(pushing aside the new jigen thing just in case it makes this post age poorly) have you ever met someone who hates kids but children just love them

jigen hates it but he lowkey has some fatherly instincts within. lowkey. it’s faint though don’t expect him to offer to watch your kid for you but like any mildly decent human being he’s not going to let a child run into an electrical fence. usually though those same people don’t just start giving said kid a piggyback ride to guide them back to a more responsible party though but don’t ever bring it up to him

really i think it just comes from a soft spot for mildly vulnerable people. not an obligation he feels exactly just like. this child is miserable. if i made a stupid face, will the child continue to be miserable? granted, if the stupid face does not cheer up the kid, he’s not beating himself up about it either. i said kids LIKED him not that he was GOOD with them

fujiko:

very impartial. again, has the basic human decency to see a child clearly about to hurt themselves within arms reach and moves to stop them, but it’s like. does she care about that child’s hobbies, their favorite color, their latest minecraft build? uh No not really no

not above smiling and cooing over how cute babies are, but again, doesn’t mean SHE FUCKIN WANTS ONE LMAOOOOO it’s just that she has. eyes. if she thinks your baby is ugly on the other hand she won’t exactly TELL you so but her grin is noticeably forced and shes like. “what. an angel. wow. she’s really gonna break hearts someday i’m sure. wow.”

fujiko (pushing aside that fuckass movie) fujiko does not want kids. if she has a kid it’s someone else’s responsibility hands down. it’s not even that she’s afraid of the commitment OF a child (although that admittedly isn’t a thing she’s a fan of) she just knows for a fact that some people on this earth are not meant to be parents and by GOD is she NOT meant to be a parent. honestly it’s a self-awareness she wishes more people had.

goemon:

i have to be. completely candid here i’ve never really thought about this. but now that i am it’s very clear to me that goemon is the type of person who talks to a 5yo the same way you’d talk to a fully grown man and that’s hilarious

kids are always very interested by him in the like. “why are you so dressed up” “why do you talk like that” “is that a real sword” sense which tends to overwhelm him for a brief blip, but leave him with them for a half hour and come back and he’ll be showing them INSANE hide and seek techniques 

he simultaneously doesn’t understand children at all but is also capable of having fun with them. a big chunk of it depends on his current mood, but if they’re like, nice, pleasant kids, 9 times out of 10 he’ll do like. one cool thing for them just to see them go OWAOAAWW!! he can get a little silly with it. if the situation needs be.

zenigata:

do you guys hear that? that like. wooing trumpet noise. with a little bit of stomping in there? sounds like there’s an elephant in the room or something. anyways

kids either love or hate him immediately. like goemon it tends to revolve around his mood and the mood of the kid in question, because sometimes he goes from sulking about losing (again) to “Oh My God is that your baby? TWO weeks old? just two weeks old? that tiny?” in a heartbeat. conversely children also tend to find him very bullyable. either way they flock to this guy

if you had a six year old and you needed one of these five to watch it for like, three hours, zenigata is your safest bet, but that’s. NOT SAYING MUCH he’s just the only one who’s moderately prepared for like. kid fell down and started crying type things. kid doesn’t WANT to eat spaghetti for lunch but that’s what they have to eat. that type of deal. he puts on this calm but slightly stern tone and the kid's like . okay fine i'll eat it. it's very jarring for anyone who's seen the way he is normally omg that trumpeting is back what the hell is that noi

POINT IS he’s good with kids. not perfect (children imitate the behavior they see you know) but good enough. it’s backed up in canon! in fact it’s so backed up you might even say he might as well have a kid even,

I'M SORRY FOR THE JOKES I JUST CAN'T HELP IT

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I am extremely sad and missing all the boys, but I have to say, for the first time in a while, the fandom these past couple days has been very enjoyable to be in, and has provided me the most comfort through my sadness. I love the energy that is happening around OT7 content.

Enjoying being an Army and an OT7 right now, when just a couple months ago I was seriously contemplating if I could call myself that anymore is an interesting feeling. I love all 7 so much, but even still, I was very much sucked in by solo rhetoric for a bit. I have a bad habit of 'wanting to see all sides' of things, and wanting to see what everyone is saying so I can create a less naive, more informed opinion about something, but at some point while doing that I started getting sucked in. I didn't want it to, I'd step away for a day when I'd notice myself getting angry or some of it sort of got shaken loose when they'd hate on another member, but only temporarily, and then I'd find myself back at it looking at solo content again, so instead I just felt kind of guilty occasionally reading somewhat snarky remarks made about people I felt so much affection for (I never was able to deal with the genuinely hateful ones, just the ones that made snide comments now and again).

The thing that finally snapped me out of it was reading a different member's solos claims. They sounded absolutely ridiculous, and were almost verbatim what the solos I'd been reading think pieces from for the last three months were saying. Being able to stand on the outside of those claims, knowing they're nonsense, forced me to acknowledge the similarities and the hooks in my brain finally came loose.

I was never posting negative thoughts, or #ARMYDONTRESPECTX #HYBERESPECTX, and I definitely wasn't joining in on any of the hate toward any of the members (I own and stream every member's solo albums, solos could never make me hate them, it was always way more about how I felt about ARMY's feelings/treatment of the members).

I know that you think people who fall for solo rhetoric are unintelligent, and would have ended up like that anyway. But, as someone who was actually very distressed knowing I was headed down that path but was also unable to pull myself out of that place for a while, I went to blogs like yours and other similar ones hoping to find thoughts that could help me break the bitterness but even if I understood and even agreed with a lot of things you or others said. it never provided me with the answers I'd hoped for. It was only until I was able to hold a mirror up to myself that so many of my questions went away. I understand why ARMY have no desire to give an ounce of space to most solos, and I don't think that's an incorrect thing to do. But I do think that, more than people being stupid and predisposed for hatred/solo stanning, a lot of people have questions or concerns, and unfortunately, find answers in the worst spaces in the fandom.

I don't have a solution to keep this from happening, only that maybe if you post this maybe someone who is also struggling with those feelings might see this and relate and maybe can start work on realizing that ARMY may not have the answers to your questions, but neither do solos. You're not going to find anything illuminating, because nobody is actually saying anything new or unique, it's literally all the same angry claims of mistreatment and sabotage.

Anyway, stream No More Dream and Attack on Bangtan, and Standing Next to You and Like Crazy, and Slow Dancing, and Hageum, and The Astronaut and Wildflower, and Arson, or whatever songs are your favorite, go listen and be happy, BTS is great and getting to be a fan of all of them, collectively and separately, is great, listening to their discography or watching original content is probably the best answer to most questions anyone may have.

***

“You're not going to find anything illuminating, because nobody is actually saying anything new or unique, it's literally all the same angry claims of mistreatment and sabotage.”

This is what I thought I’d been communicating for the last year, but I suppose it’s one thing to read someone else write it, and another thing to experience for yourself.

I think BTS is the most (and best) documented Korean artist in recent times, whether filmed footage or written interviews, there’s no other k-pop group or idol that’s been as filmed or interviewed as BTS, and they are actually fairly consistent in their views about the group and about themselves. Everything required to understand the kind of group BTS is, is right there. And so when I see people struggle, I just take it as an indication of the limits on their capacity to get it. Some reasons for those limits might be due to language and prior experiences, things that aren’t their fault exactly, but it is what it is.

It’s encouraging to read you were able to pull yourself out of that mind muck. Like some other Anon said, it’s far easier to go from ARMY to solo than the other way around, so I don’t take it for granted that you’ve found your way back. At least for now lol.

Thanks for the write-in. Here’s to hoping more people find their way out.

Enjoy the calm the fandom is experiencing right now. We both know it’s temporary lol (until we get the next major release and then the madness starts all over again). I wish both you and me luck navigating the madness the second go around.

[cookierunconfessionblog]

https://www.tumblr.com/cookierunconfessionblog/740050713997099008/kinda-bugs-me-how-when-i-wanna-hc-a-character-as?source=share

This really made me think. I want to add something to this conversation, but it’s about shipping.

Disclaimer: Before I go on with my point, I’m talking about ships that aren’t illegal. The following conversation is talking about ships between consenting adult characters that aren’t related. (Hoping if I add that then nobody will twist my words into something I don’t mean.) I’d also like to add that this topic could be applied to fandom spaces other than Cookie run, but I’ve seen this happen within the Cookie Run fandom as of recent. This ramble is entirely my opinion. You can disagree, I am not stating fact. Now that all that is out of the way,

My main question I want to put out there is: Why should we have to try to prove if a ship is canon or not? What is so wrong with liking a ship, even if it’ll never be canon?

I think there’s a lot of miscommunication or misunderstandings when it comes to discussing ships, because everyone views the term ‘ships’ differently. A lot of people view the act of shipping two characters as wanting that pairing to be canon or claiming that ship is already canon, but I don’t think it should be viewed that way. You can ship two characters without wanting or claiming the pairing to be canon. Especially if the characters in question never actually interacted and you have absolutely no evidence of the two characters sharing feelings for each other.

I keep seeing people try to ‘prove’ a ship is canon or disprove a ship literally everywhere, and I can’t wrap my head around it! Why is it bad if a ship isn’t canon? How does a ship being canon could have more validity than non-canon ones? I just don’t understand.

I don’t think we should be viewing canon as this unchangeable law, that everybody has to abide by, because I feel that pressuring other people to religiously stick to canon limits the creative mind. Of course, if you enjoy sticking to canon, I won’t hate or judge you for that. There is nothing wrong with adhering to canon. I find myself doing that very often, as well. however I do feel we should let people play around with their creative works without forcing them to adhere to what exists in canon. I don’t think anyone should be viewed as less of a fan if they find themselves straying from canon.

Adding onto the headcannon topic: If we all were forced to stick to canon for every single fandom, then what about sexuality and orientation headcannons? Especially since the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t have an abundance of genuinely good representation in a lot of canon works, sticking to canon would be super limiting.

I’d like to see others feelings on this dumpsterfire. Maybe I am missing something and someone with an opposing opinion could enlighten me? I may be stupid.

How to stay hydrated: Take a sip of water every time I say canon in this post. Lol

ㅤ

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for wanting to validate my father’s research?

I (14f) recently set out on my own for the first time. I didn’t want to do so, but I was effectively forced. You see: my dad was mysteriously transformed into some kind of terrifying monster, and I was determined to find a cure. I decided I’d become a wizard every bit as powerful as he was— eventually working my way up to a spell that would fix him, and hopefully being able to help other people along the way as I honed my skills.

Initially, I was accompanied by just P and B (Both 20sf F). They had their own goals, but were okay with forming an adventuring party. And we got along pretty well. But eventually, our little team grew, and that’s where the problems arose.

E, N, RD and R (All 20s M) are the four who joined us. And initially, they seemed nice. Maybe a little slow (the first two came from some kind of hippie commune?), but generally agreeable. Our first bit of strife came when I made a realization about my dad.

…You see, I was studying from his spellbook, and as I deciphered more spells, I realized he was some kind of necromancer. This frightened me at first, but then I remembered before his transformation my father was a very, very kind man. I knew he would never use that magic for evil, and that he had to have some kind of good intent.

I decided to start studying necromancy myself— to confirm my hypothesis. But to actually perform any necromancy, I’d need a body, and so I asked R (generally one of the tougher members of the party) for some help.

He helped me dig up a grave and retrieve a body. I felt a little bad about doing it, but decided it was for a good cause. You see: I was hoping to find a way to make zombies remember who they were: reattain sentience. And so although my methods were dubious, ultimately I was trying to do something that was best for my new zombie and his family.

No-one was a fan of this decision, least of all E and N. Apparently, their hippie religion was very against this.

But I insisted it was okay. I knew what I was doing, and so we continued onward.

Occasionally, they’d make jeering remarks towards me, but I tried not to let it get to me. Despite our ideological differences, I tried my best to work well with them, and I did, for a few more adventures.

But then in the midst of another adventure, I was stolen from by kobolds. They took my zombie away from me, bringing him to their underground lair in hopes of luring me there.

Apparently, they wanted a favor from us. But the party weren’t necessarily ecstatic about it. Eventually, this boiled over into a fight. P (Not me. P.) fired the first shot.

This fight went poorly. There was a cave-in, and in that cave-in, N died. E, especially was heartbroken. I sympathized with his grief— at least… until he turned it around on me.

E accused me of having caused this. He said it was all my fault. Even though P initiated the combat, not me, he was convinced that the real reason N died was that their god was punishing the party for my ‘sins.’ Instead of looking towards who was logically responsible (P or, YOU KNOW, THE KOBOLDS), he pointed fingers at me: saying I was an evil, selfish, irrational person, and that we wouldn’t have been in the caves if not for my ‘stupid zombie.’

And even worse… half the party took his side! Both RD and P sided with him, saying this was my fault. This was especially insulting coming from P, who I feel was just trying to deflect the blame.

Soon after, the party split, but apparently they haven’t ceased holding a grudge against me. Most recently, they told local authorities about me and tried to have me apprehended (and potentially executed), not because they were worried about anyone being in danger, but solely out of SPITE.

AITA? I don’t think I am, but they were so INSISTENT, and so I’d like to get an unbiased opinion. What do you think?

[dontbreakthechain]

Heyyyyy it's time for the second entry of 'Me Rambling About Books!' Or rather, it was a couple days ago. If you missed it, the first is here.

Everyone Who is Gone is Here — Journalist Jonathan Blitzer traces the origins of the current migrant crisis over decades, exploring the political history of Central America, changes to the U.S asylum and immigration systems, as well as telling the stories of various individuals caught within the history.

Good. This was a good book. Like I said last time, these kinds of reviews are much harder to do with non-fiction. Speaking of last time, this book succeeded in something The Achilles Trap struggled with. The individual testimonies were truly relevant to the history being discussed, and were much more thoroughly covered.

Behind the scholarly writing, it's obvious that this is an issue that the writer cares about deeply and earnestly. Both histories being covered here, Central American humanitarian crises and the U.S. immigration system, represent humanity at its worse. This book reports the history as it happened, a never-ending cycle of violence and cruelty spurred on by greed and fear. The history is extremely brutal and extremely bleak, but it's not something you can run from. This is what makes the individual stories traced so important. The people profiled in this book faced it first hand, but were not defeated by it. They have their successes against impossible odds, either by fighting against it directly or by simply surviving in impossible situations.

Oranges are Not the Only Fruit — In a semi-autobiographical tale, Jeanette comes of age in working class North England, raised by her domineering evangelical mother and her afterthought father. As a child, she believes everything her mother tells her to believe. But as she grows up, she begins to rebel against this world view, especially as she comes to terms with her lesbianism.

I keep reading Jeanette Winterson, and it keeps not changing my life. This is a book I didn't get as much out of as I was hoping to. I can't really say it's the book's fault, though. One reason for that might simply be that, in the decades following this book's publication, many books with this premise have been published. It is better than most of the books in its genre, though. This book was pure tragicomedy, with pain and absurdity always close together without diminishing either one.

I did find myself getting more into it at the end. Almost literally, the last ten pages are the best part.

This strikes me as a book I might end up liking more on the reread. Once you have the basic plot out of the way, you can get deep with it. I'm currently rereading Written on the Body, a book I had a similar reaction to, so we'll see.

Also I'm very stupid and every time I'm read the title all I can think is "Fuck dude they sure aren't."

Exordia — Anna Sinjari is a Kurdish refugee whose life is going nowhere slowly when she meets the alien Ssrin. Ssrin (a snake person, or snerson, with multiple heads) moves in with Anna and reveals to her the ways of her people's evil empire, the secrets of the universe, and the intergalactic forever war currently being waged. Just as the reader gets used to this premise, the book changes entirely, making writing up a little summary more difficult than it should be.

I have deeply mixed feelings about this book. I should start by making it clear that I'm a huge fan of Seth Dickinson. The Traitor Baru Cormorant is one of my favorite recent books, and you are going to read it. I am no longer asking. Stop what you're doing and go read it. That means that I went into this with high expectations, sure, but also a lot of trust in the author and a strong desire to like this book. And, if I'm being honest, I might have stopped reading if it wasn't for those two things. I'm ultimately glad I finished it, but I can't pretend that there weren't times I was forcing myself to keep going.

It's the middle chunk of the book that's hard to get through. The beginning of the book, the part covered by the summary, was a fun read. Wacky alien roommate buddy comedy. And then there's the ending of the book, when the tension mounts, and the book becomes equal parts fast paced thrills, amazing character work, and existential horror show. The middle part, however. I'm not a big fan of navel gazing and convoluted timelines, and long stretches of the middle were dedicated to philosophic musings and jumping around the timeline rapidly. We had gotten used to the small story of a woman and her alien roommate, and then all of a sudden many new characters (each with their own neuroses, special skills, and complicated backstory) are rapidly introduced. It was to the extent that I had a very hard time following who anyone was and what they were saying or doing at any given time. And then all those characters go on long spiels about their own unique very complicated field of interest. Someone else described this book as science fiction, but the science being fictionalized is theoretical mathematics, and that sums it up quite well.

All of these problems do get better as the book goes on. You get to know all of the new characters, and they become memorable. As the characters understand more, the audience understands more through them. It's clear that all that confusion is on purpose, to show what humanity would go through if we ever came in contact with a truly alien intelligence. But that doesn't necessarily make it easier to read. The brilliant beginning and end make this book worth reading, but be prepared for a slog in between.

Even when things get weird and scary, there is a thread of excellent humor running through this book (I'm too lazy to take my own screenshot)

And even though I don’t like navel gazing, there are some philosophical bangers here:

Also, this was allegedly originally Bionicles fanfiction? What goes on in Bionicles.

We Were Once a Family — In 2018, White couple Sarah and Jessica Hart murdered their six adopted Black children (and themselves) by driving their car off a cliff. One of their last google searches was 'no-kill shelters for dogs.' Needless to say, it was a big hit in the true crime circles. This book takes a different approach. The author tracks down the children's birth families and traces all of the failures of the U.S Child Protective Services that allowed this to happen.

Something I keep coming back to, even before reading this book, is the sheer non-controversy of the statement "The U.S Foster Care System is poorly run and hurts children." In a world where every last thing is a battle to the end, where objective reality stopped existing a while ago, no one actually thinks CPS is doing a good job. We all know it, but fixing it will require work and money and dealing with difficult people in difficult situations. So it keeps on going.

That's what this book is about. Please don't be confused, this is not True Crime. What Happened is dealt with as necessary, but Why Did This Happen is what this book is interested in. I had had some familiarity with this story, but I had no idea how deep the failure ran. How many times CPS could have helped this situation, and just didn’t.

Something in particular that struck me is just how much this was the apotheosis of race and class in America. Nowhere are there explicit laws enforcing one treatment for poor or Black people and another for middle class White people. And yet, as you follow the sequence of events, at every point the Harts got better treatment than the children’s birth families. A presumption of innocence, a benefit of the doubt, leniency in sentencing. While explicitly prejudicial laws have been overturned, the disease is alive and well.

This is a brutal but relatively short read and it's an impassioned call to action. The writer isn't a detached narrator here. It's clear that she cares deeply, and is furious at every last bad decision that let this happen. I might have some disagreements, but this is a truly required book.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (762): Thu 18th Apr 2024 

I got started on the next Philip K Dick novel Vulcan's Hammer. This book was written by Dick in the early fifties but not published until 1960. It's set in a world where mankind had forfeited all it's decision making to AI computers. The computers are maintained by a group called The Unity who are threatened by the uprising union named The Healers who seek to return to a life where they could take risks. I assumed that it was called Vulcan's Hammer because there was some sort of Thor-esque God in the story who wields a giant hammer but it turns out it's because there's a computer that defends itself by sending out an army of small hammers with laser beams on the heads...wasn't expecting that. To be honest I'm glad to see that Dick was not above using slightly surreal and dare I say goofy imagery in his novels because although I've enjoyed the works I've read of his already it would be a drag if all the books and short stories of his were done with complete seriousness because it's good to get a good laugh from a book every now and again.

Checked out last night's AEW Dynamite hich featured the final confrontation and a pull apart brawl between Swerve Strickland and Samoa Joe. I really hope Swerve ends up winning the belt. I know AEW has come under a lot of scrutiny over the last two years or so and some of it is deserved but one of the best things they've done in the face of all the negativity is rocket Swerve to the moon. I'll give credit where credit is due they allowed Swerve to do his thing, little by little he got himself over with the fans and he is currently the most over guy in AEW and I've always said the most over guy in the company should always be the world champion. We also got to see Chris Jericho's latest reinvention which he calls The Learning Tree where he touts himself as mentor to all the young erformers in the company and offers his help to them and if they refuse he gets angry and tries to force it on them. I didn't even realise until Maffew from Botchamania pointed it out but this new character is meant to be a knock on CM Punk. I'm hoping Jericho can find a way to make this character work like he's done with most of his previous aliases because in-ring wise he's been somewhat of a disappointment plus there have been allegations made about his backstage behaviour so he really needs to do something wonderful to assuage people's perception of him. 

I also tuned into tonight's Hollyoaks. This episode culminated at least the implication that evil JJ raped his sister Frankie. I've been quite outspoken about what a terrible character Warren has become and how happy I am he's being written out. Having said that...if he wanted to fuck JJ up on his way out of the village that wouldn't be the worst thing. As good as the actors who play Frankie and JJ are I dont think I can watch these two anymore as this storyline is too gross. I'm glad they're doing the storyline as it's important to bring attention to real issues but at the same time it's making me feel sick. I also discovered that the whole Patrick appearing to Dilly storyline is already over and it was basically just a one off hallucination caused by a head injury. Aw man. I was hoping she was going to be revealed to be schizophrenic and we were going to get a Dilly & Patrick vs Sienna and Maxine story. Which would have been WAY better. So she's not out for revenge on Sienna anymore? That big build up for Patrick's return was all for that one cameo appearance in the school and then she immediately got fixed? That's like the Ghostface killer failing to kill Drew Barrymore at the start of Scream and then the rest of the film is just the kids at school and the killer never re-appears

[gogwyllgi]

So, let me tell you a story about how I got into STAR WARS Jedi: Fallen Order.

A concert-going friend of mine was excited that Five Finger Death Punch was coming to town, so we bought tickets to the show. Touring with them was Fire from the Gods (who?), Megadeth (ugh), and The HU. I'm honestly ambivalent about FFDP, so I was mostly excited to go to see what The HU was all about.

As soon as they started, I was transfixed.

I mean, seriously, their hair game was on point and they seemed like they'd be absolutely fantastic guys to hang out with, but their music was also something that I hadn't come across before, particularly in person.

As soon as I got home, I queued up playlists on Spotify and bopped along, not paying much attention to the songs themselves but instead absorbing the general vibe. Eventually, of course, I began to develop favorites, one of which was Sugaan Essena.

Now, I'm not a huge Star Wars fan. I saw the original trilogy (it's kind of unavoidable), watched Episode I, and went through a phase wherein I devoured the Jedi Apprentice series of books. (I had a crush on Qui-Gon Jinn. Shut up.) Every now and then I would sit down and try to watch the series from start to finish, but I could never make it through Episode II, so I'd get disgusted and abandon the whole thing until the urge struck again. I'd been peripherally aware of other Star Wars games but largely ignored them.

"Well," I said to myself, "it's kind of neat that this awesome, unique band contributed to this game soundtrack, so I think I'll give it a try."

So I bought Jedi: Fallen Order.

I spent the next couple of weeks screaming about vertigo while hunting for collectibles and cursing the lack of fast travel and the proliferation of slides. (Fuck you, Origin Tree.) I also spent the next couple of weeks adoring Cal and BD-1 and Greez and, eventually, Merrin. (Sorry, Cere. You're an interesting, well-drawn character, but I never warmed to you. Not sure why. It's not you, it's me.)

Mind, this was all just after Jedi: Survivor had launched, so I was a bit behind the curve.

By the time I'd finished Fallen Order and started a New Journey+ to polish off trophies, it wasn't enough. I'd intended to sit on it a while and hope for a sale, but... well... I'm weak, and soon I was downloading Survivor. Three days later (My internet is powered by squirrels in wheels and it sucks.) I finally got started on it and was immediately sucked back in.

I believe my first excited remark was something along the lines of "SURVIVOR HAS FAST TRAVEL!!!!!!!!!!"

Seriously, never underestimate my lack of desire to walk anywhere. Or swing. Or slide. Or glide on some poor, unsuspecting cat bat. Fast travel FTW, baby!

Anyway, it went downhill from there, because I am a sucker for found families.

Long story short (too late!), I now can't listen to Sugaan Essena--or The HU in general--without smiling, because I can always picture Cal as soon as the song starts and it makes me want to go back to polish off those trophies as quickly as possible so I can start my New Journey+.

Even if it does mean running parkour force tears.

(Incidentally, if The HU are ever touring in your area, I definitely recommend making it a point to go! I get to see them again in October and I'm stupid excited, even if I couldn't swing the interaction experience and reserved balcony seating. Sorry, m'dudes, but I'm too old for general admission to be appealing. Guess I'll have to learn how to play traditional Mongolian instruments some other time.)

[silverdelirium]

SWEET TOOTH | J.P

SUMMARY ➠ ice cream man!james fucks you in his ice cream truck

WARNINGS ➠ fingering, dirty talk, semi-public sex, praise kink, humiliation (?), pet names, bit of a breeding kink, not proofread

WORD COUNT ➠ 2.0k

A/N ➠ the long awaited ice cream man james smut ;) oh and this is for @hellounicorn <33

———

you were in that stage between dreams and reality when you heard it.

the small tune that you memorized since you started living in this neighbourhood— he always passed by in summer; and god, were you craving something cold and tasty to munch on when it was a thousand degrees outside.

you hummed in content as you lifted yourself from your bed, stretching your lips and rummaging through your closet in an attempt to find a comfortable and decent attire to meet james; as weird as it sounded, you wanted to impress the ice cream man and it was safe to say that you had developed a small crush— james had always been so nice to you, going as far as giving you free popsicles in exchange for a brief conversation.

the tip of your nerves went on fire as you stepped outside; spotting him buckling his belt. he was wearing a tight fit white shirt that had you drooling and shuddering.

——

“there you go, kiddo” chuckled james after delivering a chocolate ice cream to the last kid of the big crowd that had formed earlier.

he sighed in disappointment when he realized that you still hadn’t come out yet— he had purposely parked the van a few feet from your house, just so you could maybe pop by and have a nice chat with him.

truth is that james missed you. he hadn’t seen you since last summer and it had already been a shitty weather day, he knew you would be the only one to lift his mood up with that bright smile of yours.

james went back to the driver’s seat and as he finished buckling himself up he heard a small scream of his name upfront.

holy fuck— thought james.

you were wearing a small cute sundress that accentuated your figure in the best way possible, and when he let his eyes travel down to your chest, he caught a glimpse of your peebled nipples. leading him to get into the conclusion that you might only be wearing panties underneath that dress. his cock ached at the thought.

he stepped on the pedal lightly and drove closer to you, until the truck was right in line with your home.

“hi there, sweetheart!” he greeted, unbuckling his seatbelt and going into the back— where he was met with your face through the open window.

“hello james” you giggled “long time, no see, huh?”

“damn right you are, honey— i was starting to wonder if you moved out, what took you so long?” he spoke in a querying tone.

the tip of your ears and nose grew hot as you remembered struggling to find something cute for him. “oh— uhm, i was just— looking for my shoes you know?” you awkwardly chuckled, staring down at the five dollar bill in your hand as if it was the most interesting thing in the planet.

he gave you a bit of an amused look before shaking his head “whatever you say, pretty girl” your tummy fluttered as the nickname dripped from his lips like sweet honey.

“what would you like today, hm?”

“oh just— something sweet and creamy, like an ice cream popsicle” you shrugged, not noticing the effect your words had on james.

“i know something of yours that is sweet and creamy” he murmured under his breath. “what was that?” “oh, no nothing” he gave you a tight lipped smile, his cheeks dusting pink.

“right well uhm, the ice cream”

“oh shoot yeah— what uh” he paused to clear his throat “what flavor where you thinking of, petal?” and his sweet flirty persona was back on, as if the thought of having a face full of your pussy wasn’t replaying on his head over and over again.

“i don’t know” you groaned, almost embarrassed at your sudden indecisiveness.

“you can come in you know? take a look at the flavors and see which one catches your attention more” he offered, sparing you a small smile.

“won’t you get in trouble for that?” you cocked your head to the side. “i don’t mind” he shrugged, the corners of his lips still quirked up as he opened up the back door for you; already holding both of his hands out to help you climb in.

what a gentleman, you thought.

“there we go, honey. take your time.” spoke james as he patted your waist twice, sending a buzz of excitement all throughout your body that almost made you shudder on the spot.

the variety of flavours seemed so appetizing you started wishing you would’ve brought your whole wallet to buy all of them at once, but a peach flavoured ice cream would do.

as you went to give james the money he only chuckled and said “you know i wouldn’t charge a pretty little thing like you, your presence is enough” before handing you the sweet and throwing you a wink as he rested his back on the frame of the window.

the way his muscles flexed as he crossed them over his chest had you questioning whether you should’ve asked for his cock instead of a fucking popsicle—

and god… that damn shirt had your core clenching around air as your mind wandered about him fucking you in every position possible, he just looked so elegantly inviting.

“you done staring, sweetheart?”

shit. you didn’t even realize.

“oh my god, i am so sorry, i should probably leave” you nervously laughed, heading towards the back doors, only to have a large hand around your abdomen stop you.

holy fuck. james potter’s body was pressed against yours and you almost let out a moan as his breath fanned over the side of your petrified face.

“you can’t just leave me all alone in here, sweetie” his hand traveled lower down your mid drift. by now, your stupid peach flavored popsicle was long gone somewhere on the floor, melting. almost as much as you were against james’ hefty chest.

you swallowed thickly, blinking a few times to collect yourself as you turned your head to the side, it was hot breath against hot breath now; if only one of you made the first move—

“oh fuck this” he growled, disconnecting his palm from your pelvis and instead linking it with your jaw to have more access against your lightly chapped lips.

the lip-lock was vulgar and enticing since the start, both of you feeling the luscious sparks that it sent to your sex.

“i’ve been way too fucking patient” you heard him mumble as he took your lower lip in between his teeth, coaxing a whine as you felt your core drip with arousal. “bet you think about me when that pretty cunt is begging for relief, huh?”

“yes jamie, i do. i fucking do” you heaved, impassionedly grinding your bum against his bulging crotch. “i’m gonna fuck you nice and long today, baby. until all you can do is beg for more”

his words went straight to your sopping cunt as he waddled you forward, his mouth still on yours, to the window.

his lips detached from yours. “there we go baby, stay nice and loud for me, yeah? want the whole fucking neighbourhood to know who’s stuffing you full.”

your fingers gripped the edge of the window tightly as james nipped at your neck, his left hand bunching up your dress while the right one’s simultaneously prodded at your swollen button. “you came all bare for me, honey? bet you wanted me to fuck you good once and for all” he groaned, not giving you a warning as he slipped two fingers at once, leaving you a gasping mess as your knuckles turned white from holding on to the frame of the aperture you were leaned on.

“james!” you cried out quietly, rocking your hips back onto his fingers as the ones from his free hand made a path to your throat, lightly squeezing the sides.

his digits made wonders to your contracting insides, juices already making a sticky mess on your thighs as he curled them upwards, caressing your g-spot in a mouth-watering manner; the pad of his thumb made way to your clit, soothing it in tight figure eights as your legs shook, pulling small wails after wails from you.

feeling the thrill of the enticing orgasm building up, you brought one of your hands back to tangle itself on the male’s dark curls, only to have him tut at you as he removed his drenched fingers.

“wha— no! please!” you shamelessly begged, not giving a shit about anything else besides the ache on your heat.

james did nothing besides giving you a wicked grin as he let go of your neck, now focusing on lowering down his trousers— which quickly had you shutting up as you stared in fascination.

he was definitely the biggest you have had so far. a nice length with a thickness that would make a barbarous stretch feel so fucking delirious.

“i’m not sure if i can fit in that tiny hole of yours, precious. maybe i should just leave you like this” he fake pouted, a hint of amusement lacing his features as your bottom lip trembled at the thought of not having him inside you in the next fifteen seconds or so. “no! it’ll fit! make it fit” you mewled, rubbing your pooling cunt against his grith.

“so impatient” he chuckled, stabilizing your hips with his hands before forcing himself into you in one single unforgiving push, making you let out a small scream as your eyes shut tight.

james gave you a few moments for you to get comfortable before you rocked your hips backwards into his as a sign of consent. his hand travelled upwards to grope at your breasts as he thrusted deeply.

“my god, you feel like absolute heaven” he grunted, and even though you couldn’t hear him, the strain in his voice gave away that he was probably with his head thrown back, abs clenching and biceps flexed as his chest heaved, a sight for sore eyes truly.

your mouth stayed agape as his tip kissed your g-spot. your vision clouded with small black stars that had you genuinely question whether they were really painted in your house or not.

james started with a brutal speed since the start, the smacking of your skin against his was filthy and loud, you could only hope mr. benson wouldn’t go for a walk today.

the van rocked and lightly squeaked with every thrust of james’ and you tried your best to contain every loud moan and cry that might alarm the whole block. james had other plans though. “say my name baby, don’t hold back, i want to have your pretty moans fucking memorized”

you complied, throwing your last fucks out of the window and chanting his name like a prayer as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, his strong arms moving to hold you up by the bending of your elbows, causing your spine to arch in a perfect C as james continuously grunted in your ear.

“you’re gonna be absolutely cockdrunk after i’m done with you, honey” he groaned, speeding up the push of his hips and biting down on your shoulder as he brought you both closer to the edge.

“james! i’m gonna cum so hard, don’t stop please, don’t fucking stop” you sobbed, moaning uncontrollably as the coil in your stomach unravelled without any form of forewarning.

“there we go, cream my cock so nicely baby” whispered james, still fucking your quivering pussy through the orgasm with an aggressive pace. “oh fuck, this tight cunt is gonna milk me dry, yeah?”

you could only answer him with a whimper as your legs almost gave out on you if it wasn’t for him holding you up, a few more sloppy thrusts and he was spraying your fluttering walls with his cum, whines escaping his lips.

a breathy moan passed through your mouth as he pulled out, his load slowly flowing out of your puffy folds.

“you look so hot when you’re stuffed full of my cum, sweetheart.” rasped james, peppering your cheeks with soft kisses.

———

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