#every single thing they wanted
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Picture this for me, will you?
You've been dating this person for a few months now. You had a rocky start, they wanted you to be ready for something you only just discovered days before your first date, but overall you think the relationship is going well. You're comfortable enough to have him over to your place for a quiet dinner. You've had a horrible few days, your entire world seems to be falling apart around you, so you lean on your significant other.
The closest thing you've ever had to a father (your own was emotionally absent and you weren't close to your grandparents) has just had a near death experience. He's okay, but you're still shaken about it. You just want someone to talk to. So you bring it up.
And instead of your significant other being a shoulder to lean on and be open with, they choose to joke about the event. You try to hide that it upset you, they probably didn't mean anything by it. They just wanted to make you feel better, right?
You get the conversation back on track- or try to. They proceed to tell you they're jealous, practically telling you you're lucky you have someone to be so worried about. They didn't have a relationship with their father, or the person who could've been their father figure. Now you feel bad for making it about you. So you try to connect on some common ground based on what they said. You both have deep seated issues with your father.
Your significant other proceeds to deny it, despite just stating otherwise. They're not letting you in. Then, for reasons you still don't understand, they make a point to not only agree that you have those issues, but that it's kinda kinky.
You realize they've talked like this before. Not made it about sex but… they dismissed you. Brushed your feelings or your wants- no matter how small- under the carpet, and made you feel like the things you thought were important didn't matter. Maybe you're overreacting. It's been an awful week, emotions are still running high with no chance of peace, so maybe it's just you.
But then again... maybe it isn't.
#i could go on#but im not gonna#you get the idea#i have been pretty quiet about it all but 7x10 was the nail in the coffin#who dominates a conversation where you're trying to be vulnerable? a narcissist that's who#woe is me#im not diminishing what T went through let's make that clear#but he made no attempt - not one- to match Bs vulnerability and actually listen to his concerns#some topics are just uncomfortable i get that but you're supposed to be in a relationship with this person and you have dismissed everythin#every single thing they wanted#this is not thriving#this is starting down a bad road#911#911 spoilers#7x10#anti bucktommy#911 abc
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Central Room pt.1 <<Previous Next>> (coming soon)
ComicArchive/ About / Linktree
#linkeduniverse#here the focus is on the dungeon setting#featuring this infamous trio block puzzle—a series staple and a must-have for our dungeon#TimeTwilightandSky have their own block puzzles#but they’re not used to the classic 2D stye#To make things tougher they can't reset the puzzle by leaving and re-entering like we can!#why is it so difficult to type here? tumbler wants to automatically hashtag every single word now???#i havent used tumblr in years i dont keep up with the changes...
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my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.
before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.
but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.
as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.
pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.
it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)
the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.
this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.
so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.
an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.
another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.
there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.
i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.
#personal#actuallyintersex#intersex#actually intersex#transmisogyny tw#this post is not going to be rebloggable for now but if any intersex mutuals want to reblog it i might turn reblogs on#this just feels like an intersex conversation in a way i would prefer not to do with an audience of spectators.#also a tangent: i do understand that agab is not a body descriptor. i think that agabs are a form of curative violence perpetuated onto us#this is something i've been consistent about expressing for years. if you go back to old posts you'll see that there's many times i've said#over the years that agab is messy. that i know people who were assigned one gender at birth and another gender as a toddler#who identify as cis and trans and a million other things. i understand that and im not interested in denying their existence#so. don't take this as a universal statement from me about every single instance of “amab transman” or “afab transfem.” but rather in the#context of the current dynamic i'm seeing on tumblr of widespread transmisogynistic harassment#that i think much of the way people are talking about this is exploitative and harmful#also i've made many posts before talking about how like. many things would change and become intelligble in a less compulsorly dyadic world#but we aren't there yet. and so there are many terms that are still meaningful and relevant for us right now#and as always: i am one intersex person with one perspective i like to hear from other intersex people including intersex people#who think differently from me
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give this angle another tri
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#scalene cipher#euclid cipher#stanford pines#theraprism#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#yeah I finally checked out thisisnotawebsitedotcom hooray!#don’t ask what everything on the second page says#I don’t even remember at this point LMAO#I just wanted to make it look neat but now my hand hurts from all that coded writing#there also may be some spelling errors in there bc that always seems to happen with me HAHUIHS#by merely messing up the cipher lmao#I based Scalene and Euclid off of old cartoon parents#Scalene is based around just like…50s cartoon mom#and Euclid has that 50s cartoon dad thing but also Professor Utonium#little billy….he’s just my young Miles Edgeworth…he’s Astro Miles real…#when I think of his home world I envision it all 50s styled#like cartoon depictions of that time with bright colours and bold geometry#in my head it’s idealistic but done so on purpose so that destroying such a place would be an even more absurd thing to do#destruction caused by his hubris and thirst for wanting something MORE wihtout appreciating what it was he already had#and now he has nothing in the end and it’s his fault and he knows it#thinking about him missing his parents and regretting that decision every single day hurts me 😭
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(I'm sorry I looked at it again and I made myself laugh too hard. I had to post just this lol)
#gravity falls#billford#my art#thats right baby#im in the bill wants ford so bad it makes him look stupid camp#also this particular meme format is the funniest thing in the world#I have looked through a hundred versions and its hilarious every single time
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If you’re gonna care about prison abolition and justice you are necessarily going to have to care about the people who DID do those crimes and just want to reintegrate and live a normal life without hurting anyone. You're gonna have to be cool with the fact that the guy scanning your groceries might’ve raped someone. You're gonna have to relax about the possibility that your bank teller used to be a career criminal. The person sitting next to you on the bus might’ve committed three different murders, and as long as he's not about to commit a fourth right now, that's not your fuckin' problem. People don't disappear from society after they commit crimes, and most of them really just want to live a normal, stable life instead of going back to that. And the best way to make sure they don't relapse is to ensure they're able to live that peaceful life instead of freaking out because the guy next door used to run a dogfighting ring. You don’t have to be friends with them, you don't even have to like them, but you're gonna need to be okay with them existing in society. Sorry.
#spitblaze says things#SPITBLAZE SMASH#ive been playing y8 and lemme tell you. NOBODY else with this kind of reach and budget is tackling this topic#'aaaah that guy used to be a yakuza and hes helping OTHER yakuza find gray area jobs aaaaaaaah'#as opposed to what exactly. unless you want every single person whos ever committed a crime to die they cant just disappear#and anyone who has EVER been a yakuza has a mandatory 5 year period where they have ZERO social safety net. no apartment. no phone plan.#nothing. nada. zip. zilch#this person couldve been expelled because they gave away every last dollar the clan had to charity.#you still gotta go five years at rock bottom and good fucking luck if you survive that#society has undesirables and just shoving them to the side where you dont have to think about them#only makes it more likely they'll relapse#so either be normal about thr fact that someone might have been a felon or a bad person at some point#or shut the fuck up lmao
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As I often do, I've seen a few posts going around lately lamenting the lack of interaction with fanfiction/fanart here on Tumblr as well as AO3, but after reading a particular comment last night I just need to say this:
If someone tells you that the lack of response to sharing their writing is making them feel so upset that they're thinking of quitting writing altogether, don't tell them that's not a good mindset to have and they should just have fun with it and write for themselves. (have you just tried not being sad? you'll feel so much better!)
Even if you're a writer who felt that way once upon a time but then you changed your mindset so that you don't rely on others' feedback for validation and now you're so much happier, that's not helpful. Because that's obviously not what the person who is feeling sad and defeated is able to do right now, and for most writers/creators that's never going to be possible.
And it shouldn't have to be.
Especially here. Especially fanfiction.
Fanfiction is something that's created because someone loves something and wants to share it with others who love the same thing. And this is specifically a fandom space, somewhere that is supposed to be a community where discussion and dialogue can and is encouraged to happen between the people who write and the people who read. So when there's radio silence when you share something in this kind of space, do you really not see how that would be discouraging?
Because of course I write for myself - I would never get anything down on the page if I didn't - but I share because ultimately I want someone else out there to read what I wrote, and with any luck, to get some joy out of it. But if no one tells me they did, how am I supposed to know? As far as I know I've just been yelling into the void. As far as I know, all that work wasn't worth it.
A metaphor I've seen as an example is that it would be like having someone invite you over and cooking an entire delicious, heartfelt meal, you eat it all without saying anything, and then just leave. Do you not see how that would be upsetting?
We put so much of ourselves into what we write, bits of our hearts and souls and the things that we love and are exploring and are interested in or confused about. It's such a vulnerable thing to share something you've created, so when you tell someone that they shouldn't care if someone else reads what they wrote or tells them that they liked it, you're dismissing a very real and valid experience for so many creators out there.
Because regardless of how slow or fast a writer is, or how big or small their fandom is, it's still hard and takes time and energy and dedication and love - all of it in between our day to day lives from the mundanities to the heartbreaks - to even get something to the point where we're comfortable sharing.
Now, I know that not everyone thinks that writers are silly or selfish or entitled when they ask for feedback. Before I started writing again after many, many years, the main reason I didn't really comment on fics very often wasn't because I didn't think that the authors deserved feedback, it was more that I didn't really think that it would matter. That my comments would just be noted - if read at all - and brushed aside and then they would continue on about their day.
I could not have possible been more wrong. You might think you're just one person and it's just one comment but it's amazing how it can turn a day (or week, or month) around. How it can encourage someone to finish a story, or make a connection they'd been struggling with, or even just manage to add 500 words to a WIP. It is truly incredible to hear that someone loved something I wrote, and if you've ever commented on or reblogged one of my fics, please know that it truly means the world to me.
I've gone through a rough time with all of this lately myself, but I'm doing a bit better now (for the moment), so I just wanted to say this, in part to remind myself when it inevitably gets hard again:
If you're reading this, whether you're a friend or you've never seen me on your dash and never will again: I'm sorry it hurts right now. I'm sorry you feel discouraged and lonely, that it doesn't feel like it's worth it anymore, that you're struggling to find a reason to continue.
But I desperately hope that you keep writing. I hope you keep sharing. You're worth it. I know it's hard, and if you don't want to and you're just tired of the cycle of giving so much of yourself and getting so little in return, I understand that, too. It's ok to be in your feelings about it, it's ok to feel drained by it, and even though knowing you're not alone in your experience doesn't change anything and it still sucks, it's normal and valid and there's nothing wrong with you feeling the way that you do.
But I hope that you are able to find the joy in it again, because you deserve it. ❤️
#ok to rb#fanfiction#writing#thoughts and reminders#every writer is incredible#every artist#every gif maker#every single person who submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known#who contributes to their fandom however big or small#deserves to feel that their effort was worth it#support the people who create the things you love#do you want to spread misery or joy?
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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thank you all SO MUCH for all the kind words and support, it really means a lot to me 🧡 to show my appreciation, i just posted FREE PDFs of all six of the previous Halloween comics to my Patreon! feel free to download and reminisce :) (you do not have to join or pledge anything to download them)
Link here!!
#i want to reply to every single one of u but my backlog of things i need to reply to is already so long ARGH#I LOVE EACH ONE OF U
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SMTIV English Artbook Scans
Today, I was able to finish scanning my entire English SMTIV art book! This book is weirdly hard to find so I'm glad I was able to do this, and I hope that everyone enjoys being able to read the official translation of this incredible art book!
#smtiv#smt iv#shin megami tensei iv#smt4#smt#shin megami tensei#senshi voice 'TIS FINISHED#takes a deep bow and then falls over because my back hurts from crouching over my scanner for like 3 hours today#anyways theres so much cool stuff in here in terms of commentary like there is so much text in here#comments on like every single thing#also this entire like 2.5 page interview with masayuki doi and eiji ishida#also peep the little goddess of tokyo easter egg on the very first and last pages#im already a serial tag yapper but i just want to say that i really really hope that you guys get something out of this because it makes me#very happy to think that someone might get to learn something new or cool or interesting from these that is my one and only wish#also bc that took me a really long time and my printer lives on the floor. ow. my bones#myscans
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I never get tired of drawing his face it's so fun
#ok i watched life sentence for elliot#WHAT WENT WRONG IN THE FINAL 20 MINS#i liked the concept i liked the characters where did it all go wrong#ive bothered everyone i know with how shocked i am at like every single thing that happened#it was worth it for the handful of cute moments but AT WHAT COST#whatever you do dont watch the last episode it was like a game of thrones finale#anyway back from a week break to draw more elliot bc im processing my life sentence binge watch#elliot knight#kyle gaz garrick#sorry for tagging it gaz but like.....hes got the full gaz look here even the navy jacket ok#nobody has to know......#i want the long hair gaz fans to watch sinbad too im begging but thats beside the point#my art#procreate#cw life sentence#wes charles
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I really like your art :] just finished playing so it's fun to finally see all the fanart after unblocking the spoilers tag. What is the pixel looking font that you used in the last comic you posted? It looks super nice
HIHI thank youu!! GOD that feels amazing, happy you finished it!! Hope you had fun :)) The pixel looking font is TimesNewPixel but I don't. Remember exactly where I got it (it's been a while) BUT²! I have this one that is pretty much under the same thing. I believe I have a few more pixel fonts since I haven't decided which one I like more when doing comics that I can share (but need to take a look again) <3
Here! Have a sketch :)
#isat#in stars and time#pipposketchdump#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isat mirabelle#isat odile#isat bonnie#small edit to add a thingie I forgor#love this game I like hearing that you guys finished it recently#also if you want to just. Ramble about the game. Please please please PLEASE do I LOVE reading every single thing about it. Please.
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looking at literally anything about the amazon prime like a dragon adaptation
#ah. you don't understand Literally Anything. i see#yes mr producer everyone wants More of a love triangle between yumi nishiki & kiryu. thats what will fix the generic plot of the first game#every single thing takeuchi says about kiryu makes me want to pass away#i. cannot elaborate. everything is like a cannon blast to the gut#ada speaks#yakuza
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kim seokjin, according to @aprylynn happy birthday apryl! ♡♡♡
#aprylynn#bts#btsedit#btsgif#dailybts#btsdaily#jin#seokjin#kim seokjin#dailybangtan#userbangtan#trackofthesoul#usersan#heyryen#annietrack#userpat#tuserandi#raplineuser#userdimple#rjshope#ksjedit#***#!!!!!!! happy birthday queen apryl !!!!!!!!#i just wanted to do something for you since you've done so much for me with your kindness and your support#and you deserve all the nice things in the entire world#and while i try to find all those nice things i can at least give u jins face u kno#and i had to use ur iconic tags bc you always make me laugh every single time i go thru my notes#ur just like me fr fr ur always in my brain i swear ;o;#ANYWAYS !!!!!! i hope u have the best day and i hope you are loved and cherished and that you get yummy treats and lots of presents#and are surrounded by people that love you and adore you uwu
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The Start of the Truth [End of season 1]
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#a-qing#xiao xingchen#tulu xuanwu#And that's the end of season 1! 70 + (6 bonus) comics since I set out on this quest....and I would do it again B*)#I really wanted to push myself for this comic and make something pretty to really cap off this journey.#Art is actually very fun I love having a vision and making it into physical reality! Everyday I get a little better! Yippeee!#I never imagined I would have the kind of support I currently do as I've been making these comics#Hard to imagine I thought art was something I wouldn't have a shot at. Much less have the opportunity to have a community behind me#I want to keep growing and improving! I appreciate every single comment and tag and encouraging message!#I have a *fanart* folder. The me from a year ago could have never thought that could be a thing#Just...wow....thank you all so much for everything. I mean it more than I can put into words B'*)
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i have strong feelings about this and think about it often so I'm curious if anyone else does
it's just for yourself. pretend getting rid of it works perfectly fine exactly how you want it to, suspension of disbelief you can just blast it logic. we're fantasizing here, cowboy.
feel free to explain why you made your choice, what/if you'd replace it with something, etc. personally? FUCK the digestive system. let me photosynthesize
#shitpost#polls#random polls#you want me to eat food. multiple times a day. every single day. and then shit it out? FOREVER??#NO#<- has anxiety that manifests as nausea and cibophobia#there's some things I would miss for sure. but I'm so bad at food#that it would be such a relief to not have to deal with it#let. me. photosynthesize!!!#this would create an exploitable weakness in me#but that's my problem not yours#though I will say. I am very very biased at this point in my life#if I ever deal with my cibophobia or start medicating we can circle back to this
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