#-him to have to go through that. theyre upset about The Entire Fucking Situation Theyre In And Every Single Thing About It

[rbtlvr]

the thing is loop isnt even that mean. like they annoy siffrin and get on his nerves on purpose and all that. but the only times theyre really genuinely mean are like

conversations regarding kingquest post kingquest

some things related to isa (immediately post bad touch, some of the convos referencing isas crush)

some of the dagger convos

twohats. of course

all of which are. pretty understandable i feel like. + some times im not sure if they count as being Genuinely Mean or not

saying ghost siffrin mustve had a 'disgusting' smile in ghost event (they take it back later if you talk to them again)

saying bonnie hates siffrin a few times (again not sure if this even counts as being mean considering they also have siffrin brain:tm: and the same thought processes. to them its just a fact bc thats how their and siffrins minds work)

maaaaaybe when everyone hits max level?

if you open the loving fanmail and examine it in front of them (feels like it might be joking/teasing rather than Genuinely Mean but)

[knightsickness]

Hi! I hope that I don't bother you with my question. I'm asking out of genuine interest for an analysis and also because it has been 5 years since I last read any asoiaf book.

Coming from you comparison of Cersei's and Tyrion's time as Hand, what obvious mistakes did Tyrion make? I was probably not paying too proper attention because Tyrion did a lot of sympathetic things like ending Jeoffrey's terror on Sansa, or came up with a great strategy to limit casualties during Stannis invasion. His downfall struck me as Cersei conspiring against him, and Tywin taking all the credit for the work his son did. But I feel like I missed something here, and don't have all the details. (Again genuine question, not a "how dare you imply that perfect innocent angel uwu did anything wrong" way!)

i originally wrote a much longer list for this but i think the myrcella episode sums up most of the problems w tyrions politicking in microcosm

the entire point of the scheme is to embarrass cersei and undermine her with the removal of one of her spies. a lot of tyrions moves in acok are ridiculously cersei-focused because it makes him feel good to get petty wins over her he enjoys doing kings landing spy vs spy antics. constantly asking ‘what is cersei doing? does cersei know what im doing?’ when the answer to both is invariably ‘spying on each other’. when theyre still actively fighting three major enemies all this effort to plot and spy feels like it could be focused elsewhere. the scene where they laugh at stannis and renly pettily stupidly fighting each other rather than them obviously an acknowledgment of this neither of them notice

the idea to tell all the small council members different plans and then identify whichever one he told the story cersei gets mad at him for as her spy is good on paper a lot of tyrions moves are motivated by what makes him feel clever. in practice its kind of a mess

the idea of littlefinger having harrenhal is initially proposed to him by tyrion (who notes littlefinger looks extremely excited) as a reward for him arranging a hypothetical myrcella arryn match and then snatched away annoying and alienating him. its then next raised when littlefinger has obviously requested it to kevan/the tyrells/etc as his prize after the battle of the blackwater and he gets it. this isn’t necessarily direct cause and effect littlefinger always wanted to be a big lord he could have wanted harrenhal on his own but it seems like he was told he would have it, formulated his affc taking-over-the-vale plan, and then found out tyrion was fucking with him. again getting one over littlefinger makes tyrion feel good its gratifying to have the biggest schemer at court going grr you used me as a pawn and lied to me do NOT do that shit again

one of the main strengths of the situation tyrion inherits is a hypercompetent small council he immediately sets to turning on him (petyr) and giving them dangerous personal secrets (varys) while fantasising about having all their heads on spikes over the city walls

the idea of an elaborate plan to prove pycelle of all people is an incompetent lannister toady is absurd. you can tell that by talking to pycelle once. worse this makes pycelle hatee tyrion when if tyrion hadnt noticed he is ALSO a lannister he could have benefited from this !!

the sending myrcella to dorne plot that tyrion commits to lest cersei thinks he wasn’t serious and this was a finding-the-mole ploy (in which he gave them plans so obviously shocking and upsetting to cersei that if theyre her allies theyd immediately tell her) is terrible on the face of it and in affc proves to also be terrible in practice. the two outcomes are she gets crowned or killed both explicitly to start a war with the lannisters + burning one of your two spare heirs on the outing pycelle as a fraud and annoying cersei and littlefinger plan is. misguided. its insane to me he goes through w it he could still say ohh i changed my mind + let cersei think she’s persuaded him out of it (giving her a false win) or even just say yeah i was fucking with you haha you fell into my trap and exposed your own spy but he doesnt do either

tyrion’s conclusion on the plan is ‘this doesnt actually prove i can trust varys and littlefinger. theyre just untrustworthy in a subtler way. nobody in the world is as smart as me nobody has ever been this good at politics’

[wribbles]

Izuku as Shouta's older brother & a quirkless pro hero (tho hes not widely known)

The Aizawa's had trouble conceiving a child so they used a surrogate mother (Midoriya Inko) and had Izuku (inko still comes by often, she and Mamzawa became good friends and now inko is the boys' Auntie)

Four years after having Izuku the Aizawas get naturally pregnant and have Shouta. Izuku immediately becomes determined to be the Best big brother ever! (He succeeds)

Izuku is still quirkless & a lover of quirk analysis

Papazawa has a visual Quirk Identifying quirk, and his knowledge and interest in quirks passed to Izuku

Mamazawa has a personal Gravity Nullifying quirk which makes her hair/clothes/anything shes holding float a bit in the air - generally considered a weak quirk - it gives her a slight colored aura

Shouta still has his Erasure quirk

Izuku learns he's quirkless and asks if he can be a hero and his parents say theyre not sure (bc the world is shitty and heroics is hard) but they'll stand with him the entire way if he wants to try anyways - and if anyone could be a quirkless hero, it's their Izuku

Izuku does end up going to UA and graduating as the quirkless Pro-Hero Null, with extra support from Nedzu (Many ppl try to stop him. It doesnt work.)

Shouta has trouble sleeping most nights (stress, anxiety, nightmares, insomnia, etc) and has ever since he was a baby. So he and Izuku-nii-chan have developed a Technique that almost always soothes Shouta to sleep: Izuku holds Shouta to his chest, with Shouta able to hear his heartbeat and breathing, and they just lay/sit together, the calm steadiness and safety of his brother allowing Shouta to put aside everything else and relax.

They found this Technique early, since Izuku has a seemingly sixth sense for when Shouta can't sleep (helped by Izuku's own struggles to sleep through the night). When Shouta was barely a month old, Izuku heard him whining in his crib and, in an effort to be Best Big Brother, crawled in with him and held him close like he'd seen their mom do. He said reassurances and rocked him a little, and Shouta quieted down quickly. They both ended up falling asleep in the crib, finally being found by their dad in the morning who woke Izuku to fondly ask "wtf?" His heart grew even more for his sons at hearing Izuku's explanation and seeing them cuddled so close - he didnt tell Izuku to stop. So it kept happening and now even as adults the #1 method to get Shouta to sleep when everything else won't let him is to just have Izuku hold him for a while. (Shouta does wake up pretty quickly upon being separated from Izuku, which is why it becomes an Emergencies Only situation when theyre adults living separately, but every little bit helps)

Another Thing they have is: as a child Shouta created a habit of jiggling the doorknob before entering Izuku's room to talk to his brother (usually about stuff that upset or confused him but sometimes just bc he wanted to hang out), and Izuku learned to listen for the extra noise to know it's Shouta and he always asks "What's wrong, Sho-chan?" when his brother comes in. They never grow out of that.

Shouta always thinks his brother is amazing and so cool for trying to be a hero and then Doing That, esp bc he knows a bit of how much ppl would criticize Izuku for it.

Shouta did grow up hearing quirkist comments from kids at school about him (and his brother but they never shared schools at the same time after elementary) but Izuku refused to allow them if he heard them and would regularly get in fights with Shouta's classmates after school, even tho his parents wished he'd stop - esp for fear he'd fuck up his school record and chances for heroics, but Izuku never backed down.

(One example of bullying Shouta also got at least once was ppl claiming that he erased his brother's quirk as a kid and that's why Izuku is quirkless & Shouta is a villain. Shouta avoided telling people his brother was a quirkless hero student after that unless it came up - which sucked bc he loves telling ppl how awesome Izuku is, but no one ever believes him.)

Shouta's bullying does contribute to his reticent nature tho, and even Izuku's cheer and chatter don't make him open up (but that's okay, he does what he needs to to keep himself safe. His family loves him always)

Shouta's high school friends all meet Izuku and love him and he adopts them all as little siblings

Shouta tends to use nii-chan with his brother bc theyre so close but does sometimes switch for nii-san if the vibes are right (no massive significance to it just vibes)

Izuku does NOT get OfA & doesnt really meet All Might {{unless he subs for Shouta at UA but thats potential plotty stuff so its flexible}}, but he's still a huge All Might fan and admires the man greatly

All Might, for his part, doesnt know Izuku but he DOES get inspired by the story of The Quirkless Hero: Null & hearing about Izuku's determination to save people and reach his dreams despite the many massive odds, makes AM proud for the next generation and also inspires him to push his own limits as well (if ever meets Null he'd like to tell him and thank him)

[dinoswordsb]

what is their main beef with each other? is it all out of desperation/loneliness/attempt to stay grounded/not go crazy/Feel Something? is there an (for lack of better phrasing) Agenda somewhere deep in someone's psyche? where did Benjamin zone in? how long's he been about town before meeting Jennifer? how long does he "expect" to be in SH? what're Benjamin's reasons/excuses/logic behind how he treats Jennifer? (which is how, exactly? :o?)

oh boy i waited until i was home to answer this one bc i just knew i was gonna need a read more. so. -claps- lets fucking go

the funny thing about it is that they don't really have beef with each other perse. Not on Ben's end, at least; Jennifer is literally just a jackass lol. Jen acts the way he does, and they meet under terrible, awful circumstances(read: personal hell). ben so desperately wants to see the good in people so he gives him the benefit of the doubt in that its a terrible place, and he's just stressed. everyone's bound to snap in a situation like that and who knows how long he's been there before ben? plus his general rule is to trust people until they give you a reason not to, even though this mantra has inevitably gotten him hurt many, many times. despite that, he still sticks to it.

as for a general timeline that honestly hasnt really? been discussed nor is it solidified bc its not really a set in stone canon story(its mostly just the discord server tossing our guys in silent hill and having fun with it), but i personally imagine that the pacing of bens journey is similar to james' in that he meets everyone pretty early on and they tend to get separated and reconnect as time goes on :]

and then ben is prone to black and white thinking so. first impressions of people tend to stick, whether he wants them to or not.

So maybe you could say there was an agenda for ben, in that he just wants to help people, which goes way deep down into his own personal issues of putting people before himself and just taking bullshit like hes a punching bag when he really shouldn't. but after a point he starts connecting the dots. Bens more observant than people might take him for. he realizes that despite all of his nasty words, jen does not tend to stray away from the group when ben and a couple of other people(other discord ocs) do find each other and stick together for awhile, and really that in itself is kind of the nail on the head for him in that he recognizes that behavior, because when he was younger he coped with his loneliness the exact same way. and that is when he zones in.

also he has a crush on jen the entire time but doesnt realize it(he's been rewritten to be gay rather than bi, and hasnt really discovered it yet by this point) and mistakes his attraction for a general desire to be friends with/get to know him.

Circling back though. Ben realizing theyre so similar does kind of deepen that attraction but it also just. upsets him. because at the point he realizes it, hes already gone through hell(hes farther along in his journey, and has started to spiral about many things). He's got a lot of mixed feelings, but deep down, it just draws him to him more because ben has been very, very lonely his entire life, and has never had an experience of being seen like that, or feeling a connection like that, even if it isnt really there to anyone but himself. so you could say that ben does just want to Feel Something. Its ironic because one would think picking the meanest man he's ever come across would be setting himself up for failure, which is what happened when he rushed into marrying his ex wife, and his entire arc is about breaking the cycles he perpetuates. just a neat little teehee if you will

i guess thats where the beef starts because in a moment of desperation and sliding down a slippery slope to rock bottom, he directly calls jennifer out on lying and putting up a front, and shatters it not only in front of himself but other people. this upsets jen greatly, because he cannot lie his way out of it. And where it goes from there kind of has a few different routes and possibilities.

as a whole ben generally treats jen with kindness. He asks questions about him, he admits to caring about his wellbeing, and makes an effort to try to break through that shell(which is hard for him. he is very bad at approaching people). He talks about himself on the rare occasion jen asks, tries to extend that hand of friendship, and doesnt really take it personally when it isnt received. he isnt pushy, but he doesnt give up, either. his logic for all that is scattered in this^ mess i think but tldr; he is nice to him bc its in his nature and also because he feels something about him he doesn't quite understand yet.

oh! and upon arrival, bens plan was to live in silent hill and start over after his. episode. so he planned to be there for awhile but oops! that didn't work now did it so after he gets stuck he expects to be there as long as it takes him and the others to get out

in conclusion: oh baby you are so ill

[whaleofatjme1920]

HEY B GIMMIE THAT SWEET SWEET RIVAL MATCHUP U ALREADY KNO

You already know who this is but ill still give u a hot rundown: My names Ally, im 20 years old 5’7’’ and a Leo/year of the dragon/INFP. She/They pronouns and im Pansexual but i dont think that matters much in this situation >:P. Appearance wise i have shoulder length curly red hair and green/grey eyes, suuuuper pale skin and freckles. Im def an ambivert, very protective of people who mean alot to me and kind of sharp tempered, especially when people start talking about shit they dont know anything about. Im also a pretty big perfectionist and people pleaser and will beat the FUCK outta myself if i feel like i let people down or made people upset when i could have helped it. But thats all about me, heres those wacky questions!

- Stated before, but im an August Leo! I would say my aura would probably be a pinkish/ purple color? For dislikes i def dont like bitter foods, being too hot, rumors, people talking behind my back, ppl who act like they know what theyre talking about, ppl cutting me off when i lose my train of thought, conservatives, not caring about climate change/the planet in general, tight or restrictive clothes, not having enough time in the day, capitalism, ect. Honestly the most off the wall thing for me that would make me throw hands on sight would probably be someone saying some shit about my close friends behind their back to me.

- Once when I was 14 me and about 10 other people squeezed into a mini van at about 3am and drove around the town, not a single one of us had a license or were over the age of 16, and we were all ridiculously drunk and high the entire time (except the driver. we were underage, not stupid). After driving halfway across the island we got pulled over by cop on the interstate, and he walked up to the car, looked at the driver, then into the passenger seat and saw literally 10 KIDS OBVIOUSLY DRINKING and the car absolutely reeked of bud, then looked back at the driver and simply told him “Your tail light is out. Get home safe” and drove away. Ive never seen god faster than that moment LMAO

- I could never willingly fight a raccoon, youre sick for suggesting that >:/ They are precious boys and ive saved too many from drowning in my pool for me to lay a finger on one. And as for dealbreakers? My biggest one in a relationship is cheating, but thats pretty basic LMAO. I would also say one that’s definitely second in rank would be expecting someone to stay the same through out the relationship and getting upset when the person changes. We are human beings and developing and growing, if you dont support me in that nothing is going to work. I explained a bunch of things i dislike in people above, but ill also add in here people who hurt animals in any way/ litter for no reason. If one of my friends throws a piece of trash out of my car im slammin on the brakes and youre getting out and picking it up. And god forBID you touch an animal around me il doing whatever you did to it to yourself no hesitation.

- I would hate being stuck in a room with anyone, i have decently bad claustrophobia and if we were in there for more than a day i would start bugging out LOL But probably the worst type of person would be someone who just doesn’t shut up and trys to act like they know everything. Those are like, the most insufferable people to me. ESPECIALLY if theyre wrong and refuse to admit it. Whenever i think of being locked in a room, somehow i always imagine like a dark navy blue room with one small window and completely empty floors and walls, everything made out of carpet. Dont ask me why, i have absolutely no clue.

my feed back is ily bitch gimmie a good one i wanna fight a bitch

Your enemy is… Eyeless Jack!

In general:

I told you this yesterday but I wasn’t expecting you to send this in and must've spent like 5 straight minutes wheezing reading this. My gut reaction was Jeff, but based on what you wrote about the room, I’m going to say your enemy is actually Eyeless Jack!

Things he doesn’t like about you and how he pisses you off:

EJ doesn’t like that you’re a Leo. I’m not elaborating on that. He’s such a cold, clinical, heartless bastard that everything you are just goes against whatever tf he actually believes and acts as. I feel like you being a perfectionist would just brush against his perfectionist tendencies and habits. He’d say everything you’re doing is wrong. Just a dick. EJ may or may not exploit your weaknesses but that’s just because he thinks it’s fun and doesn’t like you.

EJ is a god of knowing what he’s talking about and it leads to this cocky, know it all attitude. It’s gonna brush you the wrong way. He knows that and takes joy in it. He will always attempt to one up you in knowledge and grin when he sees you falter. On the other end, if you catch him off guard he’s gonna be SO MAD. He will purposely turn up the heat in your presence just to make you upset. He will breathe down your neck and get in your personal space just to make you more uncomfortable. EJ isn’t anywhere NEAR a conservative or a climate change denier but he will take those positions just to make you mad and laugh over your attempts at arguing with him. Like Jeff, he’s a huge devil’s advocate and will start shit just because he can. I don’t actually think he’d talk about your friends negatively in front of you though, but he would definitely say stuff about you to your face.

EJ thinks it’s stupid you drank underage and will poke that memory. He will use insults about alcohol and the brain despite drinking a ton himself. If you call him out on it, he will fold. Literally throw everything he says about you back at him and he will get puffy and fast. EJ can’t always handle change that well so like, he’s a stubborn guy. Despite how logical he can be and how smart he is, socially he is so uncouth!! EJ doesn’t litter so you don’t have to worry about that but he’s definitely gonna do things that push your buttons, mostly say things that put you off. He’s not claustrophobic. He will put you in situations like that just because he can. The dark navy blue of his mask is going to haunt you. EJ will act like a god in your presence and snarl when you dare question his abilities. CALL HIM OUT. HUMBLE HIM PLEASE.

He agrees on the raccoon thing ngl. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but EJ has such a soft spot for animals - mostly birds - but he can’t fault you for the raccoon thing. He's also not too fond of litter so he has to agree with you on that one too.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Knowing you for as long as I have, I was so, so ready to actually put you with Jeff. However, the more I read into this the more my intuition screeched that you would actually throw hands with EJ and I find that HILARIOUS. Just the arguments between you and this tall, muscular demon man is just - “what? What? WHAT” It’s beautiful. I’m serious, Merida vs. a literal demon. That’s all. Ily. <3

[chrysalizzm]

i uh. realized people follow me now because of uh. you’re human tonight on ao3 asdjgfs

i have content!! behind the scenes content as promised. i do outlines for my fics as a general rule of thumb just because i personally can’t write things to a satisfying finish if i don’t Do That, and so - here are my chapter/plot outlines for you’re human tonight ^^ (i have no idea if this is interesting content or not i thought i’d put it out there because i think outlines are kinda fun hhhh)

chap 1 fundy

subtitle: an inkling

fundy makes an iron golem gone wrong, dream makes it go boom

chap 2 purpled

subtitle: uh oh social interaction

purpled shelters a fugitive, gets his house explosion-proofed as thanks

this is probably gonna be the only chapter with a funny title hh oh well

update: it’s not and i’m pleased with myself for branching out with my dry humor

chap 3 sapnap

subtitle: dust to dust

sapnap’s dying via wither effect, and he knows respawn’s around the corner but goddamn if it doesn’t hurt til then. dream skids in around the nether fortress corner, drops all his weapons cradles sapnap’s head in his hands, has always taken death much harder than anyone sapnap’s ever met. at the last few seconds, when death creeps up like a shroud, dream starts to hum to him hoarsely, pressing his forehead to sapnap’s, and in the final moments sapnap doesn’t hurt at all. the last thing he hears is dream whimpering. he visits dream’s bunker the next day, knocks on the door over and over, but there’s no sign of life there. sapnap shrugs, bites his lip out of guilt for forcing dream to sit there watching him die (if temporarily), and moves on.

the chapter that introduces dream’s primary ability of soothing hurts. put a lot of emphasis on the fact that sapnap ached up until the moment dream started humming, because for dream to do that is pretty frivolous considering once sapnap died he’d respawn and the hurt would just disappear but dream wanted sapnap to have a peaceful last few seconds. emphasize how abnormal it is that withering stops hurting. 

chap 4 ponk

subtitle: beaches dry of sugarcane

dream visits ponk after george burns down the first tree. when ponk arrives to the second tree to move in, he realized dream made the tree flourish, grow healthier and bigger. 

chap 5 sam

subtitle: fuck this shit i’m out (edit: the official subtitle is “oh god oh fuck”, i changed it last-minute)

dream picks sam’s brain for manhunt strategies while the latter is mining for redstone. sam stumbles upon a spawner and reels back, trips, nearly misses the moment dream sweeps him behind him and his eyes flash beneath the mask and when sam gets back up, dazed, there’s nothing but the splay of cobwebs all over the walls. 

chap 6 punz

subtitle: lines drawn

in an unrelated skirmish, punz drives his sword up to the hilt in dream’s chest, relying on respawn for dream to not feel any pain and for punz to get paid. dream doesn’t die. this is understandably alarming. 

can we get some funnies in chap? just a few laughs?? a lil funny for mr luke punz man?

can we get some panicky dry humor for real tho because punz strikes me as someone who copes with morbid humor and dream spluttering up blood is def a situation that punz would not know how to deal with

chap 7 wilbur

subtitle: so about that date

wilbur makes platonic moves on dream while dream fake texts his fiance under the table. wilbur also accidentally vents to dream about his little brother tommy and how afraid he is that tommy will get himself hurt for how reckless he is. dream siphons some of his anxiety from him, smiles as they depart from one another. wilbur notes that dream is shaking when they leave. 

chap 8 skeppy

subtitle: get wrecked noob

dream walks skeppy through some pvp. when skeppy demands a rematch w tommy and gets a lil stage fright kinda sorta thing, dream siphons his anxiety and his nerves and goes full soccer mom with bad and skeppy loses 5-2 but like!! he won!! against tommyinnit!! HH

is there any mental image nearly as powerful as dream wastaken, the soccer mom

chap 9 jack

subtitle: mandatory volunteering

after tommy goes on another one of his destructive rampages lmao, dream enlists jack, newest-comer, to help him rebuild stuff bc underclassmen have to do whatever upperclassmen tell them to do thems just the rules. after rebuilding a statue near the community house, dream pats it fondly, and when tommy sneaks back to set in on fire for shits and giggles, he finds that it’s fuckin fireproofed AGAIN

rebuild efforts, i promised monuments rebuilt so thats what theyre gonna fuckin Get

chap 10 antfrost

subtitle: twist the knife

ant on what ends up being an unpublicized manhunt: dream stops the manhunt because he’s triggered a raid and by the time the hunters get there, alarmed by the screaming and the fire and dream’s unresponsiveness, the villagers are all dead and there are raider corpses everywhere and dream is lying near the bell on his side, whimpering. (what the hunters don’t know - dream tried to fight off the raid but was overwhelmed and witnessed the village get slaughtered, he took the pain of the villagers that weren’t dead but were dying.)

segment: There’s a reason they do the manhunts, and it’s not just for them to horse around and try to kill one another for a few days. Antfrost is the newcomer but he’s always been good at reading people and from the outset he knew that Dream was someone filled to the brim with the restlessness that characterizes humans, that never-settling wanderlust, and his brain works too fast for the rest of his body sometimes, and he just needs an outlet. It’s part of why he eggs Tommy on in their little war games, why he holds onto those discs even though he doesn’t need them, why he gets that delighted look on his face when someone tells him that Tommy’s griefed them or stolen from them or otherwise ruined their morning. Antfrost thinks the only times he’s ever really seen Dream silent, Dream waiting, Dream unmoving, are when Dream is 

chap 11 karl

subtitle: head in the shallows

karl, sapnap, george, and dream have a sleepover after mcc 11. karl, nearest to dream, wakes up when dream starts tossing and turning from a nightmare. when he tries to shake dream awake, dream’s eyes fly open and he slams his fist into the wall behind him and the earth, the literal earth, the entire slab of it, shudders like an earthquake. sapnap and george sleep like the dead, so it’s just karl and dream staring at one another. finally karl asks, concerned, “do you want some tea or water or anything?”

chap 12 hbomb

subtitle: a maid’s burden

“i want to dress up as a maid for fundy,” says hbomb with false bravado. fundy’s fiance levels a very impassive look at him for an awkward minute or two and just when hbomb thinks he’s misread dream and fundy’s relationship dream says “i’ll get you a wig” and the entire chapter is just dream idly twisting the fabric of reality to get hbomb the items he needs to put the outfit together

pranks, i promised pranks, theyre gonna get pranks

chap 13 alyssa

subtitle: message in a bottle (edit: official subtitle is “ship in a bottle”)

alyssa’s leaving, at least temporarily. 

alyssa tells dream it’s getting dangerous on his server, doesn’t relish the expression that brings to his face, but he holds her hands and nods and bids her safe journey. when alyssa returns, running for something (later we’ll learn she had heard that dream was bad, that he might be dying), she finds that her house is completely inaccessible by everyone save her, placed in complete stasis by someone. 

start of the chapters leading up to festival arc. build unresolved tension in this one. 

chap 14 niki

subtitle: life doesn’t discriminate

wilbur and tommy are relentless, they waste no time; niki is willing to wait for it. 

the night before the duel, she goes to dream and holds a sword to his throat and demands he call it off, even though she knows it’ll mean little because of respawn, tells him she won’t stop hunting him down until he gives up l’manberg. dream smiles a little sadly and pats her hand and her fright, her rage, it simmers back down, and the anger that had swarmed her and made dream out to be the devil dies down until it’s just her friend, who was playing along with tommy til it got serious and he got cocky, who’s just as in over his head as she is, and maybe niki’s soft but she likes that about herself, that she’s always the first to forgive. niki is looking at the healing cut on dream’s neck, uncovered by any bandages, when dream shoots tommy, a clean shot that causes no suffering.

a long chapter, probably. i think at some point in this i want to mention niki’s respect for dream for apologizing during the first pet war, for not letting things get any bigger until fundy came back. some parallels can be drawn here - that dream let the fire die down in the initial stages of the pet war, that dream won’t let go of the l’manberg war now, and it occurs to niki that she doesn’t know dream nearly as well as she thinks she does if she expected him to act exactly the way he did during the pet war. she’s got what she’s wanted - dream’s remorse, proof of dream’s humanity - even though it’s not in the form niki wanted it. 

chap 15 eret

subtitle: crown of thorns

the king in name only consults with the true leader. 

they’re both upset about pogtopia’s exile, eret arguably more so because they think their early betrayal of l’manberg somehow butterfly-effected into the current dumpster fire, and as they talk eret works themself into a full panic attack reflecting on things that were, things that could’ve been - and the tide washes out all of a sudden, and eret’s left with the same looming hollowness they’d been feeling before, no dregs of the panic, they’ve never had a panic attack that left them feeling normal after - but dream is now wheezing like he’s about to die and eret immediately walks him through the panic attack, levelheaded even as they’re confused out of their mind. 

chap 16 quackity

subtitle: water to blood

quackity is a snake in the grass. 

quackity at schlatt’s side during the few weeks of his presidency. he knows schlatt from before, has been his friend, so he knows when his friend is acting off. the cynical, straight-faced humor is still there, his completely bland delivery and brazen showmanship, but it’s twisted to the left somehow, to make it so that those qualities that make up his friend have rotted, hurt people. quackity eventually goes to dream after schlatt first overdoses with a lot of questions, maybe even to confess that his allegiance has begun to shift because he can’t go to pogtopia and he can’t go to schlatt - and dream just gives him a long, sad look before lightly patting quackity’s shoulder and says “i can’t guarantee anything - just that you’ll be safe” and shooing him off and as quackity heads back to manberg he realises all the hostile mobs are avoiding him like the fucking plague. 

it’s big q!!!! fattest ass in the cabinet!!!!! pog!!!

fun fact this chapter’s subtitle was almost “chekhov’s gun” until november fucking 16th of 2020

chap 17 tommy

subtitle: most disputes die and no one shoots

tommy learns how a legacy dies.

a compendium of tommy watching the madness consume wilbur. it needs to be emphasized in this chapter that wilbur becomes an entirely different person when they’re ejected from manberg, that he becomes obsessed with the legacy he’s created and watching it crumble is what twists him; when dream gives tommy his crossbow, tommy, out of desperation and a need to have an older sibling again, asks what’s wrong with wilbur; dream’s face hardens and he asks tommy to take dream to wilbur. it’s a terse meeting, the only one they have before techno and before wilbur completely loses it and demands the tnt; wilbur says a lot of things tommy doesn’t understand (it’s complex mythological jargon hinting at dream’s status as a god but could be misconstrued to refer to dream’s status as simply the world owner) and at one point wilbur sneers, “are you trying to play god, dream?” and dream lurches forward and grabs wilbur by the wrist, and there’s a completely silent moment where tommy feels the air suck out of his lungs and there’s an off buzzing in his ears and he fancies he hears something that sounds, just a bit, like dream, whispering desperately wilbur wilbur wilbur it’s me it’s me listen listen listen then a shrieking, acrid wave of no and tommy reels back and when he looks up dream has staggered back, his hand to his mouth, blood dripping from somewhere beneath his mask, sounding like he’s gagging or maybe he’s sobbing, as wilbur shrieks in a voice that is entirely not his “get out get out if i can’t have l’manberg...” and tommy understands, finally, as dream sprints out. that’s not wilbur.

a distinction needs to be made perfectly clear in this chapter, as with schlatt’s chapter: it’s not them. they’ve been twisted out of control by something bigger than them, something that wants to toy with the young god running an oasis of peace for his people. it doesn’t need to be outright said in this fic; in another we can delve into the madness and who did it and why. for now, just make it clear it’s not explicitly anyone’s fault.

chap 18 techno

subtitle: colosseum

dream had to let techno in first, you know. 

techno and dream have interacted often - the duel, the championships, they’re friends more than acquaintances now. but techno was called in by someone wearing his brother’s face that he honestly doesn’t recognize from his voice and when he arrives at spawn, before tommy fetches him, he sees dream sitting cross legged waiting for him and they talk about the situation, dream giving techno a quick brief. when tommy comes, crying “techno, this way, this way to pogtopia”, and crossbow bolts are being fired at techno, dream gives him a lil wave goodbye (or what techno thinks is a lil wave goodbye but what actually turns out to be putting a swiftness effect on him).

“that’s not my brother, dream,” says techno, and dream’s mouth wobbles and he says, hoarse, “i know.”

techno Suspects, but only knows that dream has world-manipulating powers and thus standard minor god powers. he doesn’t let dream know he suspects. 

chap 19 bad

subtitle: run devil run

bad trusts dream, perhaps against his better judgement. 

dream comes to visit bad and skeppy on neutral grounds in the interim leading up to the festival that everyone on the server is side-eyeing and side-stepping. bad considers his friend and the owner of the world as he gives dream an impromptu tour through the escape route he and skeppy have dug out, wonders with a little reproach how dream could let things get to this point, then, soft, gentle as always, acknowledges that dream is only human kindly. when he says that, though, dream’s face crumples, as though those words hurt him more than any criticism bad’s given him in the time he’s known him, as though bad had driven a blade into his heart, and bad doesn’t understand but he lets dream run away from that. when a small flock of creepers explode over the tunnel the night before the festival and bad grumbles that he has to fix it, he learns dream left him with a fortified escape tunnel.

a/n: i’m sure the irony isn’t lost on you.

chap 20 tubbo

subtitle: cadmean victory

what say the sacrificial lamb?

tubbo is coming to terms with the fact that he might not make it out of office in one piece and it’s not his first time respawning but the older members of the server always, always did their best to shield the younger ones from death. he runs into dream by complete coincidence while he’s avoiding pogtopia (mostly wilbur) and manberg (mostly schlatt), caught between two strangers wearing his friends’ faces. he looks at dream, who looks back at him impassively, and tubbo starts to cry, because it finally hits him that even with his death and respawn nothing will be fixed, nothing can change, the poison’s run too deep into the veins of dream’s beautiful little world and now nothing can be right anymore and it feels like he’s shattering into tiny, aching shards - and then dream kneels before him, takes his hands, presses his forehead to them, sighs like his heart’s breaking, and tubbo feels a small calm thread back into him as dream stands abruptly, jittery. dream, with hands that shake, grips tubbo’s shoulder, hovers for a second, then his head jerks up and he bolts into the forest, clambering up a tree with admirable ease and disappearing away into the leaves as schlatt suddenly emerges from the bushes nearby with a joyous, plastic “hey! tubbo!”

chap 21 george

subtitle: lantern burns low

a moment in the night; george is visited by a specter. 

dream comes, pale, and asks george if there is anything wrong, is everything okay with you? takes george’s caught-off-guard face in his hands and says george george george, are you - and george catches a glimpse of dream’s powers (is he safe safe does he hurt no but fear but anxiety there are dregs hush now quiet now he is safe all quiet quiet quiet he’s safe) and he says, stricken even as the constant thrum of nervous energy he’d kept with him fades out, “dream what was that,” and dream presses his hands to his mask where his eyes are and says, despairingly, “they don’t get to have you too,” and staggers back out. 

george is the first person dream overtly “comes out” to. this is also why george doesn’t see dream til the festival. 

chap 22 schlatt

subtitle: the empty throne

dream visits schlatt in his office. 

schlatt, possessed by madness, has no idea what he’s saying but it feels right, it’s exactly right, everything is in his hands, and when dream approaches, his hands facing up, is he there is he there yes yes yes tainted polluted this is twisted this is madness madness madness dream reels back, shaking, and schlatt leans in and leers, not even knowing what he’s saying, “you can’t even fix it, young god,” and relishes the way all the color drains from dream’s face.

=)

chap 23 dream (edit: this monster ended up being split into three for pacing purposes and also if i left it together it was gonna be. h. 14K WORDS. also the drama of a cliffhanger at what most people thought was going to be the last chapter was too good to pass up don’t @ me

subtitle: do you feel like a young god?

running, running, running again

finale!! dream takes everyone’s old hurts into himself, takes the madness from schlatt and wilbur, promptly passes the hell out because no one should be doing that, wakes up, gets the shit hugged out of him, and explains a little, and gets told that he’s loved over and over. 

i uh! take questions! i like talking about this story, there’s a lot i still want to show, and even apart from that i just really love mcyt haha

[mis-calculated]

I'm sorry i mean this in the most well intentioned, i want to support good credible people and stand up for people who have been wronged or marginalized by shitty people in power but i am honestly very frustrated and tired by the large issue of cancel culture from all sides.

And this isnt to say that people who are documented to be shitty shouldn't lose their position of power to others way more worthy. But theres a lot of moving parts to it that make it way more complicated than people have a tendency to paint it and I'm just so frustrated and hurt by a lot of people.

I don't understand why the fuck internet celebrities, particularly in the youtube gaming sphere can't just be decent people for once in their life. And this isnt even from someone who "stans" their favorite celebrities or anything. When I engage with youtube I legitamentally just watch content creators I enjoy and sometimes allow myself to get inspired through them. I don't really engage in fandom culture, I hardly ever even super find it important to meet them at a convention, I literally just watch videos about games I enjoy where the creators seem nice and intelligent and inspiring in some way and just think about them as cool people I wouldn't mind being friends with if circumstances were different. And even after appropriatly distancing myself like everyone on this website says to do, I still end up getting hurt because the average celebrity apparently cannot handle their fame going to their head in some way. I'm angry at creators for letting themselves sink to these levels.

I'm also frustrated at everyone on all sides' inability to fully grasp the weight of what their content means to people and how it affects them. Im angry at content creators for not realizing that through theyre platform they do have a bit of a responsibility to their fans and that even a fan that engages on a healthy level with a piece of creative work is likely to be moved by it in some way. Im also angry at people that continue to perpetrate the idea that if you feel some sort of genuine hurt and sorrow towards media with eventually problematic creators, that you are also problematic and a shitty person for not dropping it immediatly. I am not kidding when I say I don't know how I would have made it through middle and early high school without the Harry Potter series, and I'd be lying if i said that it wasn't one of the most impactful things I read to my creative endeavors, as well as still being a comfort universe for OC's I have purely for myself. Does that mean I support J K Rowling being absolutly shitty towards trans people recently? As a fellow trans person, absolutly not. The Game Grumps Wind Waker playthrough is a series I literally watch at this point as one of the few things that can calm me down when I'm having a panic attack. I think I've been watching their playthroughs since I was twelve years old and whether people like it or not, it has affected me in a profound way. Does this mean if the current allegations turn out to be glaringly true, or others continue to come out, that I am supportive of these disgusting behaviors? Absolutly not. But it still fucking hurts like hell.

Another layer to this has been the rising conversation in the classical music community about the unfortunate reality that much of our musical canon is from old white guys, some of which with deeply racist or classist views. And yes. I genuinly think its so terrible and unfortunate that the only music we have record of reflects pretty much one singular demographic of people, while everything else was pretty much lost to the unpublished masses. I also want to continue to dedicate some of my musical efforts to continuing to support female, lgbt, or poc in the classical music scene who are unfortunatly fighting against more of an uphill battle than I can fully comprehend due to my own privilages. Last week a kid in the year below me made a comment about how infuriated he was that the music history professor talked about Wagner in class without mentioning his gross antisemetic views, which i think is pretty justified anger. I think its really important in mentioning in these figurehead composers, especially people like Wagner who's platform was grown from his antisemitism, both their work but also their moral problems. However, they then said that we should stop learning about Wagner because of the shitty things that he's done. And I've heard that same sentiment echoed all the time in classical music recently. And again I believe this is a way more complex issue where I have to disagree. Whether we like it or not, Wagner's music is directly related to an entire school of thought in music from his time, and is also a major reason in the way opera music shifted and why our modern film music exists. You cannot just extract Wagner from the history and merely learning about him doesn't mean you are continuing to perpetuate the ideas that he believed in or supporting him and providing him a platform. I would argue that not learning about him at all and being uninformed is almost worse in a way because that also leaves room for atrocities to be swept under the rug and lost to time that shouldnt be. But there are people around me that strongly disagree and may view me in a certain light because of it. And im just so frustrated with it.

I've done a lot of growing in the last year and i genuinly do want to be a better, and more informed person every single day. I am so overtly aware of some of the privilages i have due to merely my race that others do not and I continue to examine and reexamine how that affects the views that I hold and this situations that I find myself in.

But I'm also just so fucking angry at the people who screw up like this in the first place and also everyone who perpetuates the idea that media is simply just media and if youre upset youre probably also problematic.

This is a rant and a half and i apologize and hope it makes atleast some sort of coherent sense. I generally dont share my views on stuff like this because Im aware of the ways it comes off. Im just so tired and upset about the things that were important to me in my life getting tainted or ruined by people being shitty but also feeling like I don't have a right to mourn it. Thanks for reading.

[tragicomedys]

uhmmm gentan

WEOWOEOOOWOOIIEOIFPOPLP

>:) . i love gentan a lot. now im not gonna be able to give a sexy ass nuanced essay like my fellow mutuals do about their pairings but listen . i just think theyre great. i think they complement each other i think they could potentially have been rlly fucking good i think they couldve really been essential figures to the other’s development. notice the word COULDVE because yeah i admit a lot of the pairings i like come from my own perception on how they couldve developed bc like admittedly genya had way more potential and tanjirou as great and fun as he is he literally just stays static thru out the whole manga. except for a couple of small moments. but like other than that hes mr perfect BUT ANYWAY

i think for genyas part its kinda obvious. tanjirou helped him Tremendously through his relationship with his brother & overall was pretty protective over genya n shit. i think tanjirou helps/would help genya gain more confidence overall, especially thinking back to his last moments where he thought of tanjirou and his words to gain, like, the confidence and strength to go through with the mission even tho he was doubting himself. in that way, tanjirou sorta completes genya, like he reminds genya to be kinder to himself and be more confident in himself and etc etc. pretty common tanjirou behavior.

for tanjirous part... their backstories are similar in how they both experienced the deaths of their entire family (in contrast to zenitsu and inosuke, and kinda kanao because her original family’s deaths arent expanded on), but the way each of them took it provided like a backdrop to their characterizations. i know tanjirous own experience with coping and grieving isnt expanded on too much, considering how its shown that he sorta “accepted” the death of his family from the beginning (thinking back to the scene where he held that guys hand & smiled, and even if that wasnt necessarily acceptance we dont REALLY see tanjirou process his past trauma in depth ig), but i think tanjirou in general is someone that would be closed off abt his own grief and pain cuz hes the “older brother” and would naturally hide away anything he thinks would worry and upset others. i mean we already see that in how he didnt tell that little nurse butterfly girl that he had a fever for his sun breathing (self-sacrifical too) and how he was basically kinda like. not expecting to be alive by the time nezuko would become human/theyd defeat muzan (essentially accepted dying when his face got FUCKED up until zenitsu said ur not dead yet buddy; overall he doesnt accept other ppls help easily as he noted how if he were the demon in their situation nobody would help him (i forgot what manga ch that was but he said smth like that) amongst other situations). theres also one of the first demons he fought where he was talking about how as the oldest brother he needs to endure more stuff and pain and whatever whatever u know. so what the fuck im getting at by the end of all of this is that i just think as genya could develop into being more confident n sortaaaa pushy (i feel like hes naturally pushy with basically anybody except his brother and tanjirou LMFAO) and could like, help tanjirou express his feelings in its entirety more freely yknow, like both the good and the bad. like i mentioned with why im not really into inotan / zentan (like that i feel like tanjirou would always feel the need to look over them n honestly can u blame him ? theyre Crazy) but i like gentan bc i feel like they could naturally become more equal in a sense when it comes to how they balance each other out. genya could've possibly been a character to help tanjirou through his own grief that he’s internalizing and couldve been someone tanjirou could relax around and not feel the need to look over... IFFFFF AND ONLY IF his character was expanded on/didnt die that quickly n early or whatever.

I think that kinda dynamic would also work out bc of how genya couldve possibly been feeling towards his brother growing up, just watching him from a distance and wanting to help him but not being able to do anything. and his guilt when he accused sanemi would just be insurmountable. so what im getting at is that i feel like genya wouldnt want that to happen, like, again, and thats why i think he’d actually take action when he grew to be more of a risk-taker and would try 2 actually make tanjirou open up yknow. bc again tanjirou upholding his “oldest bro” title wouldve taken a toll on him if u ask me. that whole vision of himself would logically lead to a lot of bottling up of emotions. i know genya tried making that right and tried helping his bro by like, becoming a demon slayer, but again i just can see genya and tanjirou having that sorta relationship.

ANYWAY. again i do acknowledge that like, for the most part ive probably filled up parts of their personalities bc i think the both of them had more potential/couldve been developed more like i just view it sorta as a flaw how static tanjirou is and how short genya’s time was. it’s definitely possible and likely that i interpreted some scenes in a very diff way compared to others, and i mightve interpreted their characterizations differently than watever other people. but like in my big dumbo brain theyre gay theyre fun they would love eahc other 2 death they would have a lotta fun together and BLAH BLAH ! but besides the “analysis” i jusyt gave on them i just thikn theyd be awesome. mr “i thought he’d talk to me since we were both in the nude” tanjirou kamado. the way genya and tanjirou have blushed @ each other many times WOUGJOUIHJ. the way they give each other strenght . the way genya protected him in battle and thought of him during his last moments . the way tanjirou is easily impressed (u remember when he was like WOAH SO COOL about mitsuri n stuff and genya was just like ... :| ) so i just think its funny if tanjirou thought genya was cool like . .it’s genya LFMREI9WODJFSLK. i know every other person tanjirous age is like in love with him but whatevrr tanjirou would crush on my homeboy genya 🙄 . iwas gonna say something else but i totally just forgot

in conclusion they should kiss just cuz i said so or what ever idk 

[tillman]

Hi, it's Valentine, back with another essay on Lancelot again. I’m deranged and you all have to accept this. Anyways this ones been a long time coming mostly because i'm lazy and only now had some free time to sit down and delve into so many sources to find quotes and proof for the main claim of this post: Mr Lancelot du Lac is an autistic man. Hes also trans and gay and i have proof for both of those (one is literally not even subtext) but those are for different essays. 

Anyways to start off with some smaller bits I wanna at least mention the history connecting autistic people with changelings or fae. The idea of a normal seeming child being “replaced” by something not entirely human to explain neurological differences has been around for a while and can tie in with a lot of autistic people's feelings of being different or completely disconnected from those around them. Thematically all of this ties in with Lancelot’s narrative of being “stolen away” by a fae as a child and coming back different. He grew up in a realm of fairies, and Chrétien de Troyes in Knight of the Cart, which may be the first story about Lancelot, simply calls his mother who in later texts grows to be the Lady of the Lake, “a fairy.” Another smaller point is Lancelot tends to go nonverbal when he gets extremely upset which is neat! One bit i can’t get a quote for (vulgate pdf when) is after Galehaut’s death, he locks up completely and his mother, the Lady, who is wonderful and perfect, explains the situation for him. You could also look at all the times Lancelot runs off into the woods and refuses to speak for a while for more proof of that. He does this a lot. It's just a thing people expect from him.

Anyways, I wanna talk about Lancelot’s inability to comprehend emotions or communication in general. Please, I've been dying to talk about Lancelot’s issues with communication for days. God he has them and I can relate so hard. Covering the dutch prose first just look at the story of the hart with the white foot. A lady comes to court talking about how whatever knight will get the foot of his hart will get her hand in marriage. Lancelot actually ends up missing the lady speak about what will happen, and after hearing Kay fail to do it, declares hell go after this hart instead. "When he heard this account / he spoke impetuously: / "By my faith, I fully intend / to follow this little dog.” He doesn’t think it though, he doesn't really know what he's getting into, Lancelot is just a yes man who likes doing knightly deeds. He has to in the end be rescued twice by Gawain, one from his fucking up while hunting the hart, and the other by accidently leading a lady on thinking that he’ll marry her, something Gawain negotiates Lancelot out of. Moving onto not the dutch prose since i just spent 3 hours reading up on it, let's move onto le morte.

Malory pulls a lot from the french sources, and i'll talk about what he left out in a sec cus . god. But I mostly want to touch on his relationship with two of the people he’s closest to, those being Guenevere and Gawain. Guenevere is a very weird case considering her literal emotional manipulation of him in moments he is very vulnerable and just how not great she is to him in general but his take on their relationship is honestly pretty easy to pin down. Lancelot honestly idolizes Guenevere, as his queen, as his lady, as a person who showed him basic respect when he first came to court. He has the mindset that a knight should love and do anything for his lady, and after Guenevere knights him really without any thought to what she was doing, he decided he would do anything for her. The vulgate does a better job dealing with their relationship through the mediator figure of Galehaut who is a whole other bag of worms, but Guenevere mostly indulges him for the fun of it. She sees that he’s a young knight who’s willing to die for her and uses this to her advantage politically and for other reasons. This constantly goes over Lancelot's head, until towards the end of le morte where he finally realizes how much he suffers for this relationship while she doesn't even care, “This is not the first time, said Sir Launcelot, that ye had been displeased with me causeless, but, madam, ever I must suffer you, but what sorrow I endure I take no force.” He resigns himself to put up with a relationship he admits is actively hurting him because he believes it’s love, and as a good knight, he should love his lady. His relationship with Gawain is less dicey, and more him constantly not getting Gawain’s implications. He admits to his love of Gawain only during their war saying in the vulgate, “But he will never be able to hate me so much that I stop loving him." Like. bold of him to just ignore all of Gawains previous advances until theyre in a life or death war. Bro accept your homoerotic rivals and move on already. 

Another casualty from Lancelot not realizing emotional connotations until too late is Galehaut, who literally dies of longing over the knight. Like Elaine of Astolat but worse because Galehauts just genuinely one of the best people in Arthurian literature. He doesn’t realize until too late that the person who actually loves him is the one willing to do anything for him, and ends up almost killing himself over Galehauts death. I have too much to say on that and it's not relevant to anything in this essay but god know i yearn over them all the time. 

Other thing is Lancelot has a lot of struggle with mental health anyways,  he really just truly is traumatized and that’s kinda fucked. He has a lot of problems with depression and poor coping mechanisms. I mean his main coping mechanism is falling asleep instead of dealing with the issues. That's not completely on topic but it's a big mood and ties in vaguely and also i don't have any other way to end this. There are way more bits to add but i am falling asleep at my desk and need to get lunch before it gets too late. Anyways this is probably not great i wrote this in 4 hours directly after waking up at 12 and spent 2 of those hours reading literary essays on the dutch romances. GOOD NIGHT . 

[ckiramman]

the last of us 2, my thoughts:

in what is apparently an extremely unpopular opinion, i quite enjoyed it. it wasn’t perfect and while there were things i’d change i still think it was a great game.

the good:

this is small but i just really, really loved how it mirrored the start of the first with ellie waking up (post prologue) like tlou 1 did with joel, it was a nice touch

the world building. this game is beautiful. the atmosphere of pretty much every level was on point and i really liked the wide range of places we got to go to and see. it all did a great job of making me want to explore.

combat and side dialogue between characters flowed really nice; it could be challenging but also remained fun.

the god damn museum scene will remain in my heart for forever, it was simply perfect.

LEV!! sweet boy, best boy, deserves all the love. he really made the abby arc much more enjoyable for me.

i thought the overall story was just fine, while i have a few hang ups (see below), i was invested, i wanted to see it through and i thought it was a good journey for ellie.

the farmhouse! seeing ellie happy and with a family and living the exact life joel would’ve wanted for her was wonderful. also, two women raising a baby. as someone who will be in a family situation exactly like that in the near future, it meant so so much to see it in a game/on the screen.

the thing i enjoyed the most though was just simply ellie. she’s a wonderful, fantastic character and it was so great to see her showcased after tlou 1.

the “bad” aka things i didn’t like:

mostly my issues are with the narrative and its pacing and the order of events.

i think the story wouldve been much better if they’d interspersed abby and ellie’s time in seattle instead of playing entirely through one then the other. it would’ve been so cool to see how close ellie was sometimes. like the hospital for example; it wouldve been much more fulfilling to have ellie learn noras at the hospital and decide to go there then cut to abby going going to and being at that same hospital looking for medical supplies. then back to ellie arriving and the hope and anxiety that players would feel knowing abby was just there and what if she still was and what could happen. personally, for me as a player, playing ~12-13 hours as ellie and reaching the climax of the three days to then cut back and have to spend another 10 or more as abby was a big bummer and really disrupted the flow of the game. i mostly just powered through it to get back to ellie. 

the dual pregnancy plot lines. what was the point? to add emotional weight maybe but mostly it felt like an excuse to sideline dina when she easily couldve been there through it all.

santa barbara could’ve been left out completely and instead have the game end in seattle with a nice epilogue but it wasn’t a terrible choice, just an odd one in my opinion.

and, finally, my biggest issue and the one i really am moderately upset about: the complete and total false advertising, scene alteration and misdirection naughty dog did throughout marketing. it was really annoying to be excited about scenes only to reach them in the game and theyre..... completely different? replacing flashback joel and ellie models with the older and “present” ones in the trailer to give the illusion joel would be involved? fucking dumb. over half of us expected him to die at some point anyways, i would have rather they were upfront about it all from the get go. i really enjoyed the game and naughty dog are good people but they really fuckin dropped the ball on marketing this game.

ultimately, here’s where i’m at:

it wasn’t perfect, but it was damn good and a fun journey

gameplay, combat, worldbuilding all were top tier and wonderful

there were things that could’ve been changed within the narrative to improve the flow of the story

💕💕💕 ellie williams 💕💕💕

im extremely thankful to naughty dog for creating a character like ellie, a character i can relate to so much and seeing myself represented as the main character in a game meant more than i expected it to.

despite my few hang ups, i do really really fuckin love this game and absolutely will be replaying.

[gh0st-patr0l]

Okay I’m sorry but I GOTTA go off

I’m so sick of yall acting like Luther is just a crybaby who never went through anything bad because you know! Actually! He was in that fuckin house too! He suffered trauma as well! But yall are tryin REAL HARD to make it seem like he didn’t go through shit just cause you don’t like him. It’s ridiculous.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be the first to say he pulled some dumbass shit. I was SO pissed at the Vanya situation and nothing he’s been through excuses that. But everyone saying that he had no right to be emotionally unstable or feel bad about his trauma is straight up trauma erasure. Like yall LOVE to talk about how much you need to take emotional trauma into consideration when talking about a character- y’know, until you don’t like that character, then it’s fine to invalidate everything they’ve been through and treat them like garbage. Then it’s fine. What a bunch of bullshit.

I want yall to actually think about what he went through at All. He was manipulated by his father since birth to think he was some important hero. He was told his entire childhood that he NEEDED to do what his dad said because he was saving people!! He was helping!!! He was being the good guy!!! To the point where even when all his siblings jumped ship, he still stayed, because he had to, he had to keep helping and saving people because what else was there for him? Allison had a celebrity lifestyle, Diego wanted to be in the police force, Klaus didn’t actually care about having direction in the first place, Vanya had violin and writing. Luther’s only purpose was ever the leader, the hero, and that was all he had. Even after Hargreeves almost got him killed and turned him into what he perceived as a monster, he was still loyal because Hargreeves had manipulated him to that extent. And then Hargreeves sent him to the moon for four fucking years. I know yall like to joke like “Oh I would have loved to be on the moon by myself for a few years lmao!!! Antisocial mood haha!!!” but like actually think about it. Alone, on a barren wasteland, with nothing to eat except fucking soy paste or whatever, and no communication with anyone. Can you imagine how fucking brutal that would get? Jokes aside people are social creatures, no matter how antisocial you are, and four years of solitude would be incredibly stressful on the mind. And then to come back and find out that you spent four years of your life, in complete isolation, for nothing? That the one person you trusted the most out of anyone lied to you and did that to you on purpose? It’d be fucking devastating! So, yeah, despite what a lot of this fandom seems to think, I think Luther had a bit of a right to be upset. Just a bit.

And the thing is, yall were so quick to excuse Vanya straight up trying to slaughter MILLIONS because of her abuse. Like that’s FINE she’s still GREAT but Luther did something bad to one person because he was left emotionally unstable due to a sudden flooding of psychological consequences from decades of trauma? Ew. Unexcusable. Disgusting.

I don’t think yall realize just how easy it is to warp someone’s experiences like that. For example: Luther was abandoned by everyone he loved and spent four years on the moon in complete isolation while unaware that his father, the person he trusted most, put him up there for literally no reason. And Klaus was locked in a mausoleum for a little bit and got hooked on drugs,,, yeah

That sound like bullshit right? Because it is!!! And it still is when you reverse it. Turns out, kiddos, that with the right wording you can make anything sound inconsequential for the sake of your own half-assed argument! Wild. The truth is, Luther’s trauma was just as valid as everyone else's. He just reacted to it in a way that wasn’t as Quirky and Relatable and Easy To Swallow as Klaus or Vanya or Five. The minute you can’t pretend someone is an “UwU innocent soft babey who’s never done anything wrong” you decide that they’re a horrible irredeemable piece of shit so you don’t have to think critically about their motivations. Instead of admitting you hate the character for some petty reason you pretend that he never went through ANYTHING because then you can still act like you care so much about abuse and trauma. Stop being so self-righteous and either reevaluate your thinking or admit you don’t like Luther for whatever petty reason would actually motivate that stance, instead of acting like you’re so superior for not liking him.

TLDR:

[losangelesvalorant]

interesting things from tactical crouch’s interview w fusion assistant coach chrisTFer on 1/21

christfer talks abt hero bans, why fusion underperformed in s2, and why their roster is what it is. ill update this post w the youtube link once its out

On hero bans

Christfer thinks hero bans would change EVERYTHING, every team would have to be able to think on the fly, strong ingame leadership, makes coaches' jobs a lot harder, have to practice every hero on every map. you'd have to coach fundamentals into players a lot more and more focus on quickly IDing win conditions and the enemy gameplan. very seriously hopes they aren't gonna drop it this season

if the goal is to have genuine diversity in hero pool, bans is the way to achieve that, but christfer thinks itll fuck up the competitiveness, level of play will go down. but any aspect that helps spectators is better for league overall

volamel thinks hero bans will excite and drive the audience bc banning players specific heroes would be hype as fuck. lotta strategy, lots of analysis. however he's skeptical bc if it happens midseason it's gonna fuck over coaches

christfer thinks if theyre gonna do it they gotta do it today. there's no other good time

yiska thinks it would be bad to implement it midseason bc the # of games teams play across the season is sooo spread out. teams have different amts of games every month

on why fusion underperformed in s2

Internally, fusion was kinda "naive" coming into s2, thought they were the 2nd best team and acted as if they were 2nd best. rarely felt happiness after scrims bc theyre "supposed" to be winning all the scrims. losing scrims also was hugely negative for the same reason

smaller roster makes it harder to kick people into gear, so lack of motivation was a big thing. they were just waiting for goats to die

thought goats wouldnt continue into s2, stage 4 was where they finally got motivation, fusion never completely understood the goats style of play or the fundamentals goats taught teams, they lost games they shouldnt have as a result. Not one big issue, lots of small issues

fusion held themselves to such high expectations that when they failed them and weren't enjoying the game as much so morale fell. (paraphrased) "as long as my players enjoy playing the game, it makes my job easier"

Christfer says fusion changed a lot for playins, changed coaching structure, overwhelmingly positive result. best theyd looked all season

shanghai had very particular strengths on certain maps. fusion was winning brawl comps vs brawl comps. got nervous and dropped maps they were supposed to take, but theyd given away too many of "their" maps to be able to lose shanghai's maps. 

felt like they hit the ground running on playins, but other teams levelled up across playins and christfer believed other teams wouldve developed more than they would have

even if coaching wasnt problem if team is in a slump you need new coaches to re-fire everyone up, which is what happened w fusion. 

on carpe and sado

carpe was able to play heroes he excelled at in s1, in s2 zarya was entirely different in elements of what makes a player good at the hero. carpe holds himself to a very, very high standard and playing zarya killed his morale because he wasn't so good at it. christfer considers it a failing of himself as a coach that he didn't help carpe work through that more

nobody on the team is worried about carpe’s performance. Christfer confirmed carpe wont play if he isnt up to standard (in response to reddit worrying abt how long his contract is and how much sway he has over coaches)

christfer is very upset about how people treat sado. sado is the "single nicest person you will ever meet." every single player/coach had 1 on 1s with tucker, everyone said they wanted to keep playing with sado. yiska emphasized how important it is that every player on the team wanted to keep playing sado bc for example eqo and carpe want to win more than anything and if they thought sado was the problem they absolutely wouldve said so

Other teams came to fusion wanting to sign sado

christfer said sado wasnt the greatest main tank player last year, but playing rein in a "dysfunctional" team makes the rein player look bad. 

christfer thinks this is the "season of sado." has complete faith in him

the complaints abt sado’s rein "[he] can understand," says to remember sado had never played pro before s1. he doesn't have as much competitive exp which hits him hard but he's grown wildly in the last year. 

sado's ability to hit every halt at the right time is incredible. compares him to alarm in how good his instincts are. excellent player in a team environment, kinda a big brother to some of the players on the team, sado is very important to the team

christfer agrees that if meta shifts and sado is sick, theres a problem, but says this is not a problem unique to fusion

on fusion’s new acquisitions

heesu surprised christfer the most. he’s “very, very, very very, very good.” hungry to learn, easy to talk to, they got a very good deal and christfer is surprised more teams didn't try to get him

heesu has a lot of respect for carpe, heesu said its a + for him to work under carpe

theyre trying to scrim w heesu daily, sounds like they intend to play him if the opportunity presents itself. excellent signing theyre very happy abt

the point of the chipsa signing was that they didnt need a 5th dps, their lineup is already perfect, they had to find someone that "made sense" from many levels. wanted a specialist. Christfer thinks chipsa understands the raw mechanics of doom better than any owl players, thinks he could legit play in a doom meta. also thinks chipsa could teach eqo doom in a doom meta. chipsa provides advertisement, no need for scrimming with him. if the situation is right he can play and if he's not playing he provides income, publicity, etc. christfer again restated he was originally against the signing. when tucker explained why hed be signed, christfer came around to the idea

having 2 way players is a headache in christfers opinion, so that was another reason why they didnt pick up a contenders player instead of chipsa.

chipsa has not had a scrim yet because he’s not in philly bc visa stuff, but christfer did not clarify whether or not he will scrim. 

of all players signed, funnyastro was by far the most in demand. they had to fight for him, almost every team wanted him. he's a "sponge" where he remembers whatever coaches tell him, incredibly coachable, very mature for his age, needs to adjust his playstyle a bit to fit into the team (bc he's going for plays he shouldnt sometimes) but if they can "tune him back" a bit hes great. want to find a middle ground bc astro's ability to kill everything and doing his job (brought up moth as the "glue guy" who enables everyone by doing his job perfectly)

alarm has insane awareness, has natural affinity for positioning, understands ovw instinctively. zero attitude issues, the nicest/perfect teammate. "the whole package."

yiska said ivy has a "special type of character," quickly clarified that it’s not a “problematic” character, but needs a dif type of coaching (christfer agreed)

thinks things got difficult for ivy on toronto bc he was moving roles so much, kdg puts a lot of stock into him, a lot of kr players do too. people from toronto think ivy is insane mechanically. volamel thinks ivy should have been toronto's standout

fury wasnt signed bc of bad synergy btween sado and poko. poko wasnt the problem. fusion is very serious abt winning everything and fury is a statement of that intent. fury/poko cover every base

on new coaches

Christfer really respects seita and kdg, happy to have gotten them. has worked w both of them in the past, considers kdg similar to crusty. they signed kdg like the second he became available, christfer asked for him specifically. 

seita will stay remote 

yiska says mobydik is nuts in terms of game knowledge. Christfer agreed, says he thinks abt the game in a very unique way, outside of the box

misc

Fusion has a system where all 3 supports are rotating in the current meta. nobody is benched. had main support play bap originally when bootcamping, but theres places u can play 2 flex sups, so fusion has a lot of flexibility. who plays depends on situations where you can always play zen/bap vs where you might have to flex to lucio

Christfer thinks main sups doing calling/single caller system is a bit outdated and more of a western concept, trying to build comm system where everyone communicates, everyone calls their own ults. can have ingame leaders, but wants everyone to call what they need to call. in this meta everyone has to make the plays and call their own ults bc its split second and only the person w the ult can see the optimal situation

Christfer thinks the positions where you need stability in ovw is main tank and main support. subbing dps players in and out is fine but you need consistency at mt and ms. 

really really think they dont need to fill their last roster spot

Christfer calls this season a "rebuild season" for fusion. if they dont do well this year christfer thinks it would be the fault of the coaches. too much talent to fuck it up. 

not taking home a title is not exactly a failure, but anything within the top 4 fusion is happy with

[e8luhs]

i am very excited for refactoring!! i already love the characters. can you tell us more about the main cast? like personality and interests and stuff.

AW YES IM SO GLAD THAT YOURE EXCITED!! i got this ask this morning and it seriously made me want to stay home from school and just infodump. im putting this under a cut since it will probably get a bit long i just kind of wrote down some fun tidbits and etc

mavis

absolute jock-passing nerd. she dresses like she Does Sport even though she did like quiz bowl and whatnot instead.

shes quite chill and thoughtful (its the taurus rising) but gets easily bored and needs constantly new forms of stimulation to stay motivated. she loves a challenge and basically feeds off of that kind of stuff. this really only cancelled out when its something deeply stressful (like being teleported to an entirely new dimension and all that). she CAN settle down into one spot and feel comfortable with that so long as she isnt BORED because GOD FORBID SHES BORED.

mavis likes science but especially astronomy, and despite everything shes actually really into horror movies and the paranormal too. a definite Halloween Enthusiast and also listens to lemon demon dare i say.

whenever shes stressed or frustrated or anxious her knee jerk instinct is to try and joke about it and move on. she isnt really direct about how she feels and whatnot and when she IS its usually via punchline.

silas

silas is probably one of the easiest people to read in the cast. its basically impossible for him to lie or say that hes doing well if he isnt. hes a very honest person and expects that kind of honesty from others also, and it becomes really frustrating for him when people arent direct about how they feel

BECAUUUUSEEEE hes also very empathetic. both of the hao siblings are but he goes about it in a very different way than catriona. hes much more like “I have to know everything about why you are upset or else ill die” because if he sees someone sad and doesnt know why it basically eats him up inside until he knows.

hes also a bit of a jokester not about his feelings or anything but just in general! rather than using it as a defense he just really enjoys making people laugh. silas is very sociable.

sometimes he can be a bit of a try hard.... he is really doing his best and i love him. him and lea and mavis all share a need to establish themselves as something greater than they are and his mainly stems from Youngest Sibling Syndrome with a side of boredom with his own life too. mavis and silas really bond over that but silas didnt really take on any escapist tendencies like mavis did. he pushes himself to take action and try many things and considers many paths.

catriona

she has a teddy bear in her room that she hides in a reading cubby because its still important but she feels that her image as Mature and Put Together matters too much to really share that soft side with others. and i think that basically sums her up as a character.

really just needs some fuckin sleep. she is fueled by various caffeinated beverages (her favorites being an overly elaborate coffee order and arizona green tea). shes articulate, but because shes usually running on 4 or 5 hours of sleep she can sometimes miss small details or starts talking faster than her own thoughts+stumbling over her own words.

shes a bit suspicious of other people because shes had her trust tested a lot. catriona is very like kind and warm still though its just that like... you know. if you wrong her its very hard to win her back and she likely wont trust you with anything again.

shes also much more of a “fix it” kind of person when it comes to problems. she will absolutely provide a shoulder to cry on when you need it but at the end of the day she provides very practical support by trying to provide options. she takes the same approach with her own feelings too.

kirabo

basically like “*softly* dont”. they are very cautious and dont take a lot of risks unless theyre absolutely sure that it will work out and there will be a benefit. however, theyre still optimistic and theyre always able to see the best in other people and in any situation. not really in that toxic kind of positivity way... but as in like they are able to appreciate the small things and whatnot

^ that world view is basically why they are so into botany. its very precise but its something small that you can really appreciate and see your own success in little by little. they also like arts and crafts.

they are incredibly diplomatic despite their initial virgo stubbornness. theyre really open to other perspectives and theyre very patient/understanding. kirabo and catriona are basically opposites in this respect and so they balance eachother out a lot here.... they are like bestest buds.

they are very big on like Emotionally Productive Self Care. kirabo WILL put on a face mask and will be like “dont @ me i am chillin”. and they will be like “enough is enough i am going to knit a fucking scarf a second”. they just have a lot of little hobbies to keep them busy like that because they are super fidgety. anxious energy... the mercury-ism

minka

absolutely hates being underestimated in any capacity. minka is fully aware of her intelligence and capabilities and expresses no qualms with it whatsoever. alot of her insecurity ends up lying in her social life and etc. shes just been through a lot and really just wants to share her passions with other people.

really likes to decorate and APPEARS messy but is super organized. she has that sort of “chaotic order” thing going on where she can locate something even if its under a huge pile of random stuff. she has lots of stickers and lots of color-coding methods too.

will do the “are we there yet” thing and the “why? why? why?” thing. mostly out of curiosity to see how far she can go. she is always so curious about how far she can go with everything. so once she finds company she basically never wants to be alone. shes very talkative and inquisitive.

a baby bi.... she is still figuring it out a little though

lea

a little >:3c and i like love that for her. she has a lot of charisma and energy and those are things that she really NEEDS TO HAVE with being a video game streamer and all but deep down shes just really mischievous and playful too.

i consider her a vriska by technicality. she has a lot of issues revolving around her identity and how people perceive her because so much of the time she deals with people projecting an idea of what shes like onto her. so alot of her thing is allowing herself to just be rather than feeling like she needs to put on a show.

^ shes actually probably one of the hardest people to read in the cast because of that. its not that shes not being herself... its just that she feels like she needs to be a pretty altered version of herself. the neptune in 1st struggle. she also kind of tends to have one foot out the door on everything but it makes her very adaptable. pretty much opposite to mavis in that its hard for her to settle down in any sense.

has a scorpio mercury but a libra venus so basically like “good luck my deep lovecore affections for you will be hidden behind several proxies”. also it just makes it to where she comes off very Intense at first as is the scorpio placement way. but really its fucking great and i love her.

trinity

well theyre a scorpio sun AND a scorpio moon aka theyre like “i will know everything about you but you will never know anything about me ever” and also theyre like *rebirth* *rebirth* *rebirth*

despite what the emotional constipation and capricorn rising may tell you they are seriously A Lot. they make very quick decisions based on any instantaneous assumptions that they have so deep down theyre just very emotional and impulsive. AND intuitive which is partially because they are analytical of others but all around theyre mostly guided by like Vibez.

their precognition is kind of like if you randomly started having dreams during the day and only saw them through your left eye. so more than anything they get kind of like... weird deja vu when they talk to people or go to places that theyve seen in their visions.

really they are just like. okay in theory by first impression they would be a vriska but in actuality they are a rose lalonde because like. come on. theres a certain self-aware yet chaotic and dramatic and repressed je ne sais quoi here

[bonelessice]

So. Some facts about my life as of right now and why i really insist on selling art to get out of this situation:

I am slapped around pretty regularly when things go wrong. Into stuff, in the face, only when i disagree, disappoint, or try to defend myself. this happens to me a lot during seizures to since i get upset and can move for a second trying to power through them.

When im not getting slapped im shoved against walls and yelled at, nose to nose and at risk of again getting hit. During these times its best i just stand down and let myself be forced to follow whatever orders im given even if its working a job unpaid that my mother doesn't feel like doing even though she signed up for it.

the rest is under the cut since this is getting long.

I have been threatened with extreme violence. A conversation that stands out is my mother, after i decided i would rather give her money than keep it for myself she told me "you say that one more time, I'm stopping the car and pulling you out by the hair and kicking your ass, stomping your face on the sidewalk." this was from me trying to be nice.

I am unable to spend time with a male friend without her seriously insinuating i should marry him (he's made it clear he likes me.) and even after having a big sobbing breakdown telling her how disgusting it feels as to be accused of doing indecent things like that bc of my genophobia and her threats to put me on birth control just for speaking to him she still wont stop.

Has openly admitted to hating my cat and abuses him by scare tactics of screaming, hitting him with fly swatters, and just being an asshole.

Knows all the symptoms of my depression/adhd/seizures and still treats me like shit when they manifest. since my seizures are nonepileptic theyre triggered mostly by stress. so i have a lot of those. 

Complains about how much of a burden i am to her, how much money is going in to trying to get me a job, taking care of me, ect. about how frustrating it is, knowing i cant do anything about it since. Surprise. I cant pay until i have the job. the thing is, its not like im not activly trying to get a job. I am. like she will literally complain about this on the way to the office for a job im 100% going to get if i can just get medical work done. so pretty much yelling at me for fucking nothing. Something that will be solved as soon as im working but she has to hurt me by making me feel useless.

Is VIOLENTLY lgbtphobic. Treats people and my bisexual cousin like shit because of it. I fear for my safety if i ever came out as anything but what she knows me to be, which is straight. this is not true.

Has abused her recent boyfriend, a 70+ year old man. Hit him in the face with a glass knowing he was weak from a recent injury. and has done plenty of other verbally and emotionally abuisive stuff to him. Has also joked about the previous animals she abused as if it wasnt entirely fucked up. for example she talked happily and fondly about the time she tied one of her old dogs to a tree in the middle of the woods in the country bc she didnt want him anymore and thought it was so funny. Just generally doesnt feel like a safe person to be around if they can see that as anything but fucked up.

And the list goes on but those are basics. I really am at my limit here and i want to make money to move to virginia to live with my father's side of the family and be free from this. My goal is enough money for me and my cousin whos also facing this abuse to be able to taxi to work for a bit until we start getting paychecks when my dad has no time to drive us when we move out. id also like to you know. start saving up for my own place so anything you give will help get us out of here.

now heres some art examples, my commission page:

i think its very cheap, people tell me that. also this is an old page and i plan on updating some of the art up here soon but this is a pretty accurate rep of my work i think. so if you want to be kind and pay more or something, i accept money thru cash app. if that doesnt work for you come talk to me, actually if you want anything come talk to me. im also thinking of making a kofi so i will keep yall posted.

[bigskydreaming]

A lot of the discussions about AoX and the stuff said about the X-Tremists has altered my view of some elements of all that, I’m not gonna lie. The X-Tremists definitely isn’t what I initially thought it was, and in the context of all the X-Men being heavily brainwashed and operating based on a selectively altered sense of self and reality, even if I still don’t agree with it, I GET the intention behind picking gay and bi characters to be the cast of this particular book. 

Like, I can understand how when focused on the end goal rather than the set up, there’s a satisfying payoff to it being gay and bi characters pissed at being shoved back into the closet who are the ones best positioned to figure out what’s really going on and fight back against it once they do. I can connect those dots, see how that story choice makes sense and has the sense of catharsis Williams talked about getting from writing it. From the angle of gay/bi characters fuck shit up because they’re not gonna take society or some higher authority determining who they can and can’t love, that fits.

In a lot of ways, its the compulsory sexuality story I’ve ranted for months about wanting to see in regards to Bobby’s situation and the fact that Jean’s actions are ultimately the reason he spent so long in the closet.

BUT. At the same time....that’s kinda the problem?

Because that story I talked about wanting to see with Bobby, it didn’t come from nowhere, I didn’t just go ‘oh hey what if.’ It came from just putting together the pieces that were already there. Everything needed to tell this particular story about being pissed at someone overriding your own sense of self and telling you who you needed to be for the sake of society, the timeline, whatever....it was already there. In the main universe. Already written. Every single element needed to tell that specific narrative was already in place.

Completely unacknowledged.

And I think that’s a big part of where my cynicism comes from, beyond just not trusting Marvel as a whole. Because the fact that this specific narrative was already laid out, already in play, hell, already the fallout of a Grey’s choices and mucking around with Bobby’s head.....without it ever being addressed, its hard to see how a five issue mini (that needs at least an issue or two to set up the revelations to the characters) can do for that narrative spread out among three gay/bi characters what nobody bothered to do with just one character in three years worth of opportunities.

(And if in the end it turns out by the time all of this is over NOBODY in-story has drawn the parallel between this and Bobby’s own narrative even before all this, like.....that’s gonna bug.)

But anyway. When you look at it from that perspective, as essentially the same narrative that was already set up and put in place and then completely overlooked for Bobby already.....then its hard to see this as anything other than gratuitous. Because that was already this same narrative, WITHOUT the fascist imagery and associations. Bobby already had every reason to be pissed - just needed those reasons to be raised and acknowledged - WITHOUT needing the trauma of being made unwillingly complicit in storm trooper actions heaped on top of how much he would already be fucked up from just the forced closeting. The painful catharsis of watching a gay hero push back against forces trying to make him something other than he is and wants to be, it was already locked and loaded ready to go - WITHOUT the trauma part of that narrative needing to be added to two other characters’ narratives additionally.

It just feels...unnecessary.

Like, I can’t stop fixating on that damn armband, is one of the things. I understand the in-story logic, that its ultimately one of the clues that makes them wake up to the realization something is very wrong, for Bobby to be wearing that. I understand that the intention there is for it to be a motivating factor for Bobby’s anger, making him intensely furious that this was done to him, put on him. But the thing I can’t understand is what makes the armband necessary to do all that?

Its not needed in order to leave bread crumbs for them to see how things are messed up and where. There are other options available, other ways to portray how things are different or wrong. I’ll never agree its necessary for THAT to be the thing that makes Bobby enraged. Like look at everything I was saying about his main universe storyline. Why not just use this to allow Bobby to have a different perspective on his lack of agency in all that and the how and why of his staying repressed for so long, have this second instance of telepathic meddling with his sense of self make the first more clearly obvious to him. Isn’t that already more than enough to make Bobby furious and intent on beating the fucking shit out of Nate Grey because he’s sick of not knowing how much of his sense of self is actually HIM and how much of it is the result of telepaths sticking their nose where they don’t belong, without any hint of remorse?

When its your perspective that the more offensive elements of this story aren’t necessary, its all but impossible to look at anything else. They’re the elephant in the room. The things your eye can’t stray from in those ‘what in this picture doesn’t belong’ games once you find them, because its so painfully obvious then that they don’t belong.

And the other thing, the big thing that I’m really upset at seeing so many other white LGBTQ+ readers dismiss or just trivialize....personally, I find it impossible to find empowerment in three white gay/bi characters who are used to police the romantic and sexual relationships of characters of color and especially LGBTQ+ characters of color. I get that this isn’t on Williams, that it wasn’t her choice to have the X-Tremists arrest Bishop and Bling specifically, that those happened in other books. But this is an area where editorial oversight - used properly - would not only be useful, but I honestly believe was NECESSARY. If you’re gonna tell a story like this, do an event like this, play with these themes specifically and talk about how its meant to explore intersectionality, about how intersections of power affect how an individual interacts with society and its institutions....you need to bring your fucking A game, and this event just didn’t. At all. 

You need to be conscious of the fact that Marvel has given its readers, particularly its most marginalized ones, NO reason to have any faith in them, give them any benefit of the doubt, after they’ve spent the better part of 20 years deliberately driving this franchise into the ground because they didn’t get any of the X-Men movie profits. Editorial absolutely NEEDED to be aware of the nuances of this story and be prepared to step in where necessary to prevent things like what happened with Bishop and Bling interfering with the intended point of the X-Tremists mini and costing it more readers. There should have been someone watching all the pieces, someone whose JOB it was to look at the script for NextGen and hand it back and say no, Ed, you can’t have the X-Tremists arrest Bling, you need to pick someone else, pick a straight white character. We’re not having three white gay/bi cops arrest a black lesbian teen for impure thoughts. Nuh uh, no way. Not happening. Same with Bishop. If he absolutely had to be imprisoned in order for the events of Prisoner X to unfold, there should have been a different reason, rather than a random out of the blue pairing with Jean Grey that gets him locked up and her a slap on the wrist. Like, how about the fact that Nate Grey - being from the Age of Apocalypse - is aware that Bishop being a time traveler enabled him to know the AoA wasn’t how events were supposed to happen, and preemptively locked him away because he was afraid Bishop would be similarly able to see through this altered reality and warn people?

Like, when you have a character LITERALLY playing God, as in that’s the entire narrative....deus ex machina isn’t a problem. It’s your actual story engine. You can set the stage however the hell you want and Bishop can be wherever the hell you need him to be with the only reason being Nate Grey arranged for him to be there because that’s where he wanted him to be, fearing he could be a threat.

But seriously, white LGBTQ+ fans need to shut the absolute fuck up about the instances with Bishop and Bling and stop talking over fans of color when they bring them up. Stop trying to minimize it or handwave it away as no big deal, like, that is ugly. That is just, plain UGLY. Stop telling fans of color and LGBTQ+ fans of color any issues they have with white characters arresting black characters for ‘impure’ and ‘barbaric’ thoughts and relationships...like, stop acting like these things are no big deal or that they’re not big ENOUGH of a deal to take away from the empowerment you get from three white gay/bi characters’ narratives. Stop saying the latter is what they should be focusing on, as if its the only variable here that matters, and that they’re just blowing things out of proportion.  Some readers developing a dislike for Bobby because they have to read and see him being depicted the way he is at the expense of characters of color - even if its not ‘his fault’ - like, some readers not wanting to read or see Bobby in stories for awhile or ever because they just can’t get that image out of their head, that’s a valid and understandable reaction to what’s on the page, what they can’t avoid if they want to take in this story on any level at all. Its a reaction EARNED by the narrative choices made overall, and if its not a reaction the narrative wanted to earn, different narrative choices needed to be made.

Honestly, the more I think about it, if this event was going to happen like it or not, if writers had to just make the best of it as much as they could, knowing editorial wasn’t going to be interfering on their behalf when other writers used their characters in ways detrimental to the first writer’s intentions....Bobby, Jean-Paul and Betsy should have been in the cast of Prisoner X, I think. Like, they shouldn’t have been the secret police, the guilty parties motivated by outrage at being used to hurt others like them, they should have been part of the ones who already had plenty of motivational outrage based entirely on experience with being told their love was impure and wrong.

LGBTQ+ characters IMO were already a natural fit for seeing through Nate Grey’s changes to reality, to be arrested for engaging in romantic and sexual relationships in defiance of society’s laws and arbitrary morals. It could have easily been built into the event itself that Nate Grey (who has never identified as anything other than straight) viewed the world through a heteronormative lens. And thus when ‘eliminating’ love and memories of it and things like that, he did so according to a straight person’s perception of what that looked like...and thus potentially overlooked where LGBTQ+ peoples’ experiences had taught them how to keep a secret part of themselves hidden away at the core of their being, their mind, where no one would stumble across any truths they weren’t ready to reveal. LGBTQ+ characters were already a natural fit to be caught breaking the rules of this society instead of keeping it to themselves and staying safe if they started to suspect something was wrong with the way things were....because they were the ones who had already defiantly pushed back against unjust rules and restrictions the first time they realized something wasn’t right with the way society told them they should feel.

The same is true of characters of color of any sexual orientation, given past laws against interracial relationships - I’m not expanding on that not to exclude them, but just because imprisonment narratives have a different context and history with characters of color and that��s not my lane.

But like, if the event was structured to remove the variable of mutant oppression and thus explore intersections of power when everyone was on the same field in that respect, its disingenuous to make up forms of oppression to highlight the flaws in a dystopian society when existing marginalizations already exist once the mutant metaphor is removed. Those already marginalized in our society should be the ones marginalized in that society, else you end up with a ‘what if straight white people were the oppressed and sympathetic’ narrative that nobody asked for. And I do suspect that part of the way AoX is structured IS intended to reflect that, to have LGBTQ+ characters like the X-Tremists and characters of color like Bishop play key roles in toppling Nate Grey’s dystopian vision....I just don’t believe making any of them the secret police works in FAVOR of that rather than against. If your marginalized characters are united by common experiences of being oppressed by straight white mutants once they in turn are no longer oppressed by humans, then you also eliminate the stuff I was talking about earlier, the issue of having an oppressed group fight to put things back to where they were more oppressed. Instead of SPLITTING your characters’ identities along different axes, with the world according to Nate Grey being better for them in the sense that they’re no longer persecuted for being mutants but worse for them because it tries to restrain their sexualities...they don’t need to prioritize between their marginalizations at all. These characters don’t have to ‘sacrifice’ a world in which they aren’t oppressed for one where they are, if they’re still oppressed by that society as gay and bi individuals even though they’re no longer persecuted for being mutants. That’s still messy as hell for a variety of reasons this long fucking post doesn’t need to see their unpacking added to it, but like....

Sigh. Thing is, I know I have a tendency to go off and running in some AU direction like “this is what I would do if I were writing this story” every time I’m critical of shit. Its honestly not because I think I’m the greatest writer ever or oh my ideas are so much better than everything else. 

Its just....I don’t know how else to say it, even though it fails to sink in every damn time I have a variation of this argument...I’m not critical so I can hate things, I’m critical cuz I want them to be better. I don’t come up with different ideas for how else to tell a story BECAUSE I’m critical of it and hate it as is. Its the reverse. I’m critical of stuff BECAUSE I can’t turn off my writer brain and I can see where things could be better or at least fail in new and different ways than the same old repeated mistakes (and thus at least get us closer to better, by eliminating more of what doesn’t work).

Like, I’m just so fucking tired of being talked about like I’m this bitter angry dude who just hates everything and is never happy with any content ever. I’m not angry and loud when I criticize shit because I’m thinking like “This thing you like offended these three people and thus its fucking terrible and you should feel bad!” I’m angry and loud when I criticize shit because I’m thinking “This thing you like offended these three people AND IT DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE TO. THAT CAN BE AVOIDED.”

I don’t posit all these alternative scenarios when I criticize shit because I’m thinking that doing it any way other than my way is bad, and I’m just an egotistical jackass who will never be satisfied with any work other than his own. (LMAO, hell no, I’m insecure as hellllllll about my work, like lolol. How critical I am of other shit is nothing compared to how critical I am of my own).

Point is, when I do that, I’m only doing it to say like....see, look. Here are alternatives. If I can find some, other writers can too.

But other writers have to LOOK for alternatives in order to find them. They have to have a REASON to write things differently than what they already wrote. THAT’S WHAT CRITICISM IS FOR. TO GIVE THEM THAT REASON. TO TELL THEM THIS DOESN’T WORK THE WAY IT IS, BUT IT COULD WORK IF YOU DO SOME OF THESE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.

And when people say “lmao some of you just need to go the fuck outside, like calm down and let people enjoy shit for a change,” what that ACTUALLY sounds like to some of us is “well this thing works for me as is, and thus I see no reason to care about it being better for the people it doesn’t work for or actively offends.”

It’s honestly depressing as hell how many people on this site smugly reblog that “I don’t know how to explain to you that you should care about other people” post, only to turn around and five posts later complain about criticisms of a show they like and are perfectly comfortable with as is.

Its not about telling you that you should never enjoy anything ever. Its not about saying well this thing offends us, and if we can’t enjoy it, nobody should.

Its just like.....its great that you enjoy this thing but wouldn’t it be better if you could still enjoy it and all these people who AREN’T able to enjoy it because of these reasons could now enjoy it more too?

People shutting up about the ways content offends or hurts them or people just settling for sucking it up and dealing with the microaggressions in a creative work, like those things shouldn’t be necessary in order for you to enjoy content or be comfortable with what you’re reading or watching. 

And if it is, that’s a you problem and if you could PLEASE stop projecting it on to people who just want things to be better and more enjoyable across the board - like that’d be great kthxbai.

[actualbird]

yo you totally made me think about low empathy michael and it like totally makes sense and i think about it a lot when i listen to two player game bc ye like he OBVIOUSLY cares a lot about jeremy and he loves him and like jeremy's stating his problem and michael keeps saying the same solution cause like "that's the answer bro, don't be down" bc he cant wrap his head around the emotions and connect w them that well so in his mind he's just saying this completely fool proof solution i love this hc

yo i got this ask while balls deep in three books of discourse analysis i could only understand by like 10% but because of that was in the mood to just. keep thinking my brain in circles.

so heres a stupidly long answer cataloging canon instances of michael being low empathy af/exhibiting other traits related to this. along with like, characterization to extrapolate from that (at least by my own personal interpretation. obligatory disclaimer that how i see characters is not law, this is just My Take). 

but before that, im gonna define some terms outright so we’re all on the same page. empathy is a person’s capability to understand and feel what others are feeling. basically how well you can put yourself in somebody else’s shoes. this shouldnt be confused with sympathy, which is feeling compassion, pity, sorrow etc. for another. empathy is recognition/replication while sympathy is more on the caring about it. here i focus on empathy and the lack of it. 

im not an expert on Anything but speaking from experience as somebody who has very low empathy, this causes some complications. when you dont feel what others are feeling, sometimes you dont notice other people’s feelings at all. this results in stuff like bluntness, trouble reading social cues, insensitivity, etc. all things that 1) may happen unintentionally, 2) can be worked through via healthy communication, 3) are not inherently bad, just a result of how one reacts to external emotions and 4) things i totally think michael exhibits because hes a low empathy goblin i love with my whole heart. 

let’s get right into it. in more than survive, right after jeremy and michael discover their boyf riend backpacks, this exchange occurs

this seems pretty normal at first glance but it is the first instance of what seems to be michael’s go-to pattern for when he notices his best friend is feeling down, which, at least, kudos to michael, he very obviously noticed jeremy’s feelings. hurrah! so his process for how to fix this goes a little like “step 1: notice jeremy is upset. step 2: cheer jeremy up! step 3: unknowingly kinda mess up step 2“

jeremy is upset about the backpacks but then jeremy provides an out with something supposedly positive. michael latches on to it. it turns out to be negative. michael tries to salvage the situation by cheering jeremy up! by giving him a cool science fact! hell yeah! except it’s a shaky save at best because he does call the both of them losers but in an “it’s okay :D” way. 

all in all this is nothing really, just some friendly fast paced banter between best friends. whats important here is the 3 step pattern aforementioned because it 1) shows that michael Cares about his best friend and tries to make things better and 2) is BASICALLY the entirety of two player game

TWO PLAYER GAME is such a BOP and, at its core, is a song about how michael has got jeremy’s back and vice versa. but tpg is also textbook the 3 step pattern with added sprinkle of unintended invalidation. ive briefly spoken about tpg before so this might look a lil familiar but at its gist:

like you said anon, in tpg jeremy tells michael a problem he has, and throughout the course of the song, he continually makes it known that hes upset and has a lot of issues. step 1 has been achieved: michael knows jeremy is not doing too hot. time to do step 2: cheer him up!! and what better way to do that than to think positive with his trademark line “guys like us are cool in college” like, over and over again. because….it makes sense for michael. things might suck now, but just keep swimming yeah? it’ll be better later.

but it’s not better now and thats what jeremy actually needed validation on. michael thinks the solution is to look to the future but jeremy has his problems bothering him in the present. for all that michael says this is a two player game, he’s unintentionally dismissive because he doesnt understand that this isnt something that can be fixed with a simple “look forward to two years from now” mentality. neither of them are in the wrong, really. theyre just not on the same page.

onwards we go to something else entirely. the chili fries

this is a RIDICULOUSLY SMALL MOMENT but it stuck out to me because imo it is pretty obvious that jeremy says “leave me alone” because hes bummed and is being dramatic, but michael takes it literally and uses the opportunity to skedaddle and get his sweet sweet discontinued soda. im aware michael had to be gone for plot reasons and also the discontinued soda is foreshadowing for the mtn dew red, but taken at face value, this is something that happens a lot w/ low empathy: things are taken literally. 

jeremy is upset. jeremy said to give him some space. thats cool, i’ll go for a bit and come back with something neat that might cheer him up—hey, where’d he go?

and now let’s jump to something everybody and their dog knows about. michael in the bathroom. except not really. because mitb isnt what interests me so much as what happens before.

pre mitb is very, very interesting. before i say anything i’ll be clear in saying that literally nobody had even remotely a nice halloween night, it’s a disaster for everybody involved, but keep in mind that jeremy goes into the pre mitb scene immediately after the clusterfuck that is do you wanna hang and also getting chased down by a sloshed but aggressive jake. many people have said this before me but i’ll say it again: jeremy was not doing well. at all. 

and this is where michael fails step 1 of his pattern. he doesnt pick up on this at all. michael is kinda stuck in his own head right now. hes pissed. hes confused. hes betrayed. he cant understand other people’s feelings and now he has to deal with his own too. his head is a melting pot of AGH and he takes it out on jeremy. yeah, he tries to help jeremy, but he doesnt do it very well. it’s all very accusatory, and jeremy just had a terrible night, so jeremy lashes out.

teenagers are bad at emotions but theyre not bad people for it.  //cue mitb notes, we know the drill

to the play!!! 

recap for maximum contextualization: jeremy realizes the squip is bad fucking news and wants it gone. michael makes an entrance with the one thing that can kill it. and then this happens

AIGHT okay so the whole “i need an apology” scene is obviously played for comedy, and it does a good job at suddenly diffusing the end of the world stakes with some more down to earth teen friend drama but that aside, this scene is a good candidate to be listed under the definition of the phrase “bad timing” because michael, holy shit. BAD TIMING. like great timing for humor but bad timing as a human being. 

here we have jeremy clearly in possessed distress and michael has the antidote but he only wants to give it on a condition. it is absolutely a dick move. yeah, michael is is valid for wanting an apology, but not at this moment with the current stakes. this is michael thinking pretty selfishly. hes stuck in his own head and his own thoughts. he cares about jeremy and wants to help but…this apology important to him. it’s easy to get stuck on things like this when you cant empathize with others. the low empathy means that the only feelings you really get to really interact with are your own, so theres a tendency to focus on them. sometimes even at inopportune moments.

unintentional asshole-ery behold. in fact, this can be pushed even harder by this snippet in the score of be more chill that had some lines from an earlier draft. 

the fetus version of michael makes an entrance is hilariously low empathy, oh my god. this happens while jeremy is rolling around on the floor fighting an invisible-to-everybody-else squip and this is the first thing michael says. it’s positively dickish. 

SO with that done, a little bit can be extrapolated in terms of characterization. i think michael is low empathy so the dominos fall. michael is terrible at feelings. hes got a tendency to get stuck in his own head and not see what others are going through. his emotional periphery is abysmal, hes like a horse with those things that stop horses from looking to the side. in spite of all this, he still has a lot of love and good in his heart and he tries his best to show that in the ways that make sense to him. post-canon, the rift between his brain and jeremy’s brain can only be bridged by a big healthy heap of communication where michael learns that what makes sense to him isnt always what makes sense to other people. hes a good kid. he can do it. 

of course this is, again, all my take. the fun thing about transformative work and fandom is that all interpretations are valid and there will always be somebody out there who agrees. or disagrees. but on this blog, this is my michael. or at least one aspect of my michael. //shrug

ANYWAY im glad you like the hc anon!! ive obviously got a lot of feelings about it since i used your ask as an excuse to aimlessly ramble for, holy shit, 1.6 k words lmao. i hope you have a good day!!!