#ever since september though there’s been more stuff for him

[m1ckeyb3rry]

you know you’ve reached a new low when you post a fic for a character and there’s only six other fics for them (at least two or three of which are fics with multiple pairings that don’t even feature the character prominently)

[ameagrice]

Capsize

percy jackson x fem reader

chapter thirty-seven | out of the grave, into the woods.

It’s September 9th, and two days have passed since Percy. Chiron tells you to have hope; maybe he escaped before the place went kaboom. You didn’t see a body, so you should keep the hope alive. You viciously respond that no, there wouldn’t be a body if it was blown to a million pieces, would there?

You eat more than you ever have. The week that passed in the maze had been particularly busy, so much so you’d scarcely had time to eat anything proper. It’s nice to stuff your face, sitting with Annabeth in comfortable silence.

Everyone knows. Everybody knows what happened, by September 9th. Chiron holds a small meeting and explains exactly what happened to the others. Some suggest sending searchers down into the maze to continue what you couldn’t, but Chiron declines the suggestion under the excuse that it’s too dangerous as of late. Percy will turn up eventually, he concludes.

“Have faith,” he sighs, looking around the room. His eyes land on you, where you sit with folded arms and bloodshot eyes nestled between Annabeth and Travis.

It’s hard to do when your mother refuses to answer your prayers. You pray every night for Grover and Percy’s safe return, all week, every morning. You beg any god that will listen to just grant you this one thing, and allow Percy to still be breathing. A tense week passes, and at the week mark—September 14th—since you came out of the maze, hope is beginning to wane. You see it in Chiron’s face with every falsely enthusiastic speech, and in your friends. Annabeth helps you to make a new weapon in the armoury, a lean, light sword made of celestial bronze. You’re working on convincing one of the other campers to charm it to make it smaller, taking inspiration from Riptide. Convenience is key.

By September 15th, people have lost hope. A whole week of people trying to come home should have shown some signs, at least. Another week passes, with no such luck. And then a third. You barely move from the Big House, not really feeling much up to participating in activities and practice fights. You’re just getting into reading a new book, scrunched up in the chair on the porch, when Chiron approaches you, with a solemn look on his face.

“Another book?” He tries for a smile. You see right through him, raising your eyes above the line of your book. There seem to be more stress lines under his eyes. “That’s the third this week alone.”

You raise it a little higher. “I like reading. You can get lost in books pretty easy.”

“I like a good read myself,” he admits. “Maybe not three six-hundred-pagers a week, though.”

Now, you do smile. Just a little.

“I didn’t come here just to halt your peace, my dear. I wanted to talk to you about Percy, and Grover.”

Of course. It’s all anybody wants to talk about with you.

You snap shut the book and pay Chiron all your attention. “Okay.”

He eyeballs the ground for a second. “I think it’s time that we begin to build up a burial shroud for Percy, and begin the proceedings for Grover. Three weeks is…it is unlikely for them to come back to us now. A week, a week and a half at most, is the usual waiting time for heroes to return. I’ve seen this many times before, my dear. Three weeks is too long. It’s time we pay our respects to our friends.”

It’s a hard pill to swallow. You feel your heart stammer in the ribcage, tiny shooting pains going haywire. You’ve had these pains all of three weeks—Chiron calls them a reaction to stress, and grief. It’s why he encouraged so much rest, so little training. Your eyes fill with strong tears and your throat thickens.

“Okay,” you manage. A leaded weight pulls your innards down, and something else grinds them together. You feel overcome with hopelessness, a feeling alike deep and terrible sadness, gut-wrenching. You only want to cry until you can’t cry anymore.

“As Percy’s longest friend,” he continues with a hard swallow, “I wanted to ask you personally, if you’d like to create his burial shroud. As an honor to him.”

You want, in that moment, your dad. You want the comfort of a parent, even though you know you won’t get so much as a hug from him. You want home.

You ask Annabeth to help you in making Percy’s burial shroud. A heaviness settles over camp the next day, and everyone you talk to or pass by offers you a sympathetic look, a hand on the shoulder. Together, you pick out sea-green fabric, and tie in some gentle details of deeper greens and little dashes of blue. You find it in yourself to delve bravely into his left-behind cabin, and dig a seashell from the wall beside the statue of his father. It’s a creamy-pale colour, and lined with streaks of red and pale peach, engrained with bits of sand like it had just come directly from the beach. You weave a few into the fabric until your fingers are sore and pricked with blood. It’s all very factual, death and its proceedings. You find yourself zoning out, staring at the soft material in your hands and thinking of absolutely nothing, at times. Annabeth gently says your name, and pulls the needle from your bloody finger. It takes all day to make it perfect, but you finally complete the burial shroud, and tie it off with a pretty bit of creme ribbon and sea rope.

For Grover, it’s different, and Annabeth carries this one forward better than you because she’d known him for a long time, a hell of a lot longer than you knew Grover. She sits down on the sofa, and almost tears the earthy-green and gold fabric with how forcefully she grips it. Annabeth acts normally, but her lip trembles. She presses them together to stop it, reaching out to the table between you both for the needle.

By evening, just as the sun is going down and the sky is burning orange, you’re finished with Percy’s shroud, and Annabeth is finished with Grover’s. They’re not due to be burned until tomorrow evening, but Chiron said it was in everybody’s best interests to finish them sooner rather than later. It would make the process of burning them a lot easier to handle, apparently. You’re but a second away from blowing up, taking action with screaming and hacking at the strawberry fields; so, anything to lighten the situation, really.

“We should really get some food before curfew,” Annabeth set aside Grover’s shroud. “C’mon. They’ll be looking for us if we don’t turn up, and you know what Travis has been like, worrying this week.”

You huff a short laugh. “Guy hasn’t stopped.”

It was true. He’d been so attentive to your every want and thought that you felt somewhat guilty for dropping him the way you had done to accompany Percy into the maze. You felt like such a terrible friend, recently. But if Travis was holding it against you, he didn’t show it a bit. Ever the selfless.

Your stomach growls painfully, prompting you to stand and hold Percy’s shroud for another second or so, before dropping it safely next to Grover’s. The silky material slips from your fingers and hits the table carefully. The clock above the door tells you it’s nearly seven o’clock at night, and you haven’t eaten a thing since breakfast.

Annabeth is long gone by the time you force yourself to leave the room. You can see her in the distance, walking to the dining pavilion. You stop against a wall, breathing deeply and exhaling heavily, just taking in the air. It smells of pine trees and strawberries, and something warm. The sky is burnt orange and lined with golden clouds. An otherwise perfect evening, if you weren’t hearing Grover’s voice in the back of your mind.

He’s shouting your name, so distantly it feels like he isn’t even there at all. You wish you could help him. His voice grows louder, and closer. You begin up the hill just as you hear breathing—hard, heaving breathing like the person it’s coming from has ran a marathon.

You spin, somewhat startled, and your jaw drops so hard you think it might have landed in Tartarus. “G—GROVER?!” He’s really here. Really! With sweaty hair, missing a sleeve of his jacket, but he’s here in person. Grover is alive. “Holy cows. Holy cows. Holy cows—”

“I did pray to some holy cows, actually,” he nods out of breath. Grover puts his hands on his hips, tilting his head back. The sun is setting very quickly, and really it’s nothing special tonight compared to every other night, but to Grover, it must be amazing.

All the breath he gets back in his lungs is swiftly knocked right back out again. You lunge for him, the relief falling like a heaviness from your shoulders. Grover is a little bonier under your hugging arms than the last time you were together, but he’s in one piece and here in front of you, and it’s more than you could ask for given the circumstances.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you breathe. With your heart beating ten-to-the-dozen, it’s difficult to discern whether you’re about to have a heart attack, or if you’re developing some sort of condition from all the scares. “Really. It’s good to see you.”

He’s shocked. Of course he is; you’ve barely shown even camaraderie towards Grover before. You think it might be time to change your tune.

“I wasn’t sure you’d gotten out,” he sighed, pulling back. “I’m so sorry for leaving the two of you, but look—I found him. I really did. I found Pan.”

You blanch. Not solely from his insinuation that both you and Percy got out, but that he found what he’d been looking for. You can’t help smiling.

“Really? You’re sure?”

“One hundred percent!”

“We should go tell Chiron, then.”

Heaviness settles in your gut the closer you get to the dining pavilion. You figured that’s where Chiron will be—eating like nothing’s wrong. You haven’t eaten properly in days.

Everybody is seated by the time you arrive. Chiron is, as you’d guessed, at the table and eating as well. It must be the movement from the corner of his eye that turns his head to face you, and it’s a result: he sees Grover; tired, drooping-at-the-shoulders Grover. Chiron stands so abruptly that the table shrieks, the legs scraping against the floor, and campers groan and cover their ears, turning to face the commotion. They follow the leader’s direction, and see him too. The sky is burning, the clouds on fire, and fire in the heart flickers.

A great deal of clamour comes next. It’s all very factual, in the after. They yell Grover’s name and people come running, some in relief, some in disbelief, and some in excitement.

He eats his heart out at the head table, and nobody bothers him. You sit together and for a little while you laugh. Annabeth smiles so hard her cheeks must hurt, and the three of you manage to relieve the last few days and weeks with some joy, especially now Grover has found what he’d been looking for.

It doesnt change the fact that you go to bed with a heavy heart and a sorrowful stomach, and don’t get a wink of good sleep, tossing and turning until the cows come home. When morning comes, you’re sore-eyed and sore of heart, dressing in jeans and a sweatshirt despite the warmth of camp itself. On a day where all eyes will be on you, it’s comforting to feel somewhat sheltered by sleeves and neckline.

You don’t eat breakfast, though your stomach grumbles and whines, and you can barely manage to get a glass of apple juice down. People are casting you looks from every table, because they all know what you’re about to do. After all, his burial shroud is only metres away, folded neatly in a small box before the open fire pit.

Finally, after breakfast of little words to anybody, Chiron smiles somewhat skewedly and directs everyone to crowd at the pit. A few girls from the Aphrodite cabin are crying crocodile tears, pretending they’re oh-so-sad over the loss of Percy, though they haven’t spoken to him before, or if they have—only to ridicule him for tripping during track, or letting an arrow fly too early. Silly little things really, that make Percy, Percy. And you miss him.

You barely notice that Chiron is speaking until he’s finished. The soft blue is in your hands, palms up to the sky. You hope they’re watching.

It smells of smoke that will stick to your hair and clothes, of flames that burn your hands even this far out. Orange, yellow, and wicked red all dancing together in the grate like it’s a terrible little party just for Percy.

You have to clear your throat out hard, it having been in disuse since yesterday. Sets of eyes are on you, big and waiting. A few Aphrodite girls are pulling sneering expressions, because they’re not fans of other girls being the centre of attention.

“Uh—well,” you start, wondering why on earth you hadn’t prepared something earlier. There’s a hard lump in your throat, rolling around and around and around and you think you might choke on it. “Percy was my best friend. He meant a lot to all of us, a great deal, actually. I can’t think of one moment where Percy…”

And suddenly you can’t think at all. There’s pressure behind your eyes burning away like the fire in the grate. Your stomach hurts because you’re so hungry you’re starving. The brain fog because of this is alarming, and you can feel the casual facade start to falter. Why can’t you find the words.

You cough a jarring laugh. Annabeth whispers your name from just the front row, moving to get in your line of vision, concerned. She’s upset but she’s holding it together much better than you are.

The blue in your hands is beginning to absorb the sweat from your skin. “Percy was…there are no words. I think his actions said more, anyway, if I’m honest. Truth be told,” you finally look up from your shaking hands, “truth be told, those of us who knew Percy properly already knew that. Percy was just—”

When you lift your eyes just behind the crowd, you begin to notice something strange. A figure. A boy, in immaculate clothing and tanned like he’d just spent a week at the beach. His shirt is ironed and crisp, and a thin circle of white shells is clasped around a wrist.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Annabeth urges. Her voice shakes when she carefully pulls you aside. “You don’t have to do this. It isn’t fair.”

But your eyes are stuck glued to the boy getting closer, so close that you can make out the green of the eyes you’d recognise absolutely anywhere.

“He’s right there.”

“I know, it’s fine, I can take this.”

She attempts to pry the material from you, but you’re not having it. Clenched in your fists, you nod to the distance, as the lightheaded feeling grows.

“Percy’s here. Percy’s here.”

Heads turn. Bodies shift. Chiron moves through the crowd and pales considerably because he sees what you see. At last, people gasp, people yell out, people rush forward to surround him. But he only has eyes for you, and they’re glossy ones at that.

Your head spins. “Dear god, I think I need to sit down.”

And indeed, down you go.

—

This chapter’s title is taken from the song ‘the let go’ by Elle King. https://youtu.be/RcnUJTIyjXs?si=HO1lzccJfsaF6SbQ (1.18 seconds)

Taglist:

@bl6o6dy @embersparklz @lilyevanswhore @rottenstyx @rory-cakes @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @marshmallow12435 @lantsovheiress @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @twsssmlmaa @gayandfairycore @padsfirewhisky @emu281 @charlesswife @jessiegerl @tojismassivemantiddies @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @nothankyou138 @obxstiles @mxltifxnd0m @cxcillia @itzjustj-1000 @sp00kcanwrite @randomesthings @fratbrochrisgf @prongsflower @bugszi

[jillsandwhichs]

Joel Miller x Reader Smutshot Collection , Chap 4 , Between you and me

Masterlist

Pairing: F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: Joel is your dad's best friend, he has been since you were a bit younger. Now, you're a College student and Joel still works with your father and is still close with him. Little does your dad know, you and Joel have a little something on the side

Status of your guy's relationship in this one shot: Complicated

WC: 3.4k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Reader is early 20s & Joel is late 30s, Degrading kink, Blowjob, He cums in your mouth, Making out, Light spanking, Unprotected P in V, Missionary, Pinning & He finishes inside of you

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

You had your earbuds in as you were listening to your study playlist. The current song playing was called 'Take on Me' by A-Ha; It is one of your favorite classics. Currently, you're studying for an environmental science test you have to take in class. Your major has literally nothing to do with it so you have to study extra hard considering you don't know much about the subject. The test is tomorrow morning-just great.

You've been home alone all day.

Your father works from the earlier hours of the morning until the later hours of the day. He is a contractor, he has been since you were a little girl. Ever since your mother, his wife, left the two of you, he's been awfully career focused.

It isn't necessarily a bad thing but you miss your father dearly, all the time. You're glad he's working though, it's a massive distraction. Your mother left the two of you a little over three years ago. Within that time, a lot has changed. You and your dad have grown more distant. You two are close, yes, but he's been too down in the dumps. You've told him numerous times to just go on a dating site or ask a pretty lady out but he completely shuts it down immediately.

That doesn't matter right now though, you have to get it off of your mind.

You've been studying for what feels like forever and you're getting awfully hungry-you've hardly ate today. You tend not to. The stress of school causes you to forget to. You know your dad will be home soon, it's possible he'll bring home some dinner. Practically everyday he does since he can't cook and he also doesn't want to burden you with cooking either.

Until he's home, you'll just focus on your school work.

You've been flipping through this damned pamphlet for like an hour and have gotten barley any progress done. It's hard to. You've got so many things on your mind. Your mother, your friends, Joel...

Shit, Joel...

He floods your mind constantly.

Admittedly, you've been hooking up with your dad's best friend. It started back in June-it is September now.

It was when he picked you up from Campus one day. Your dad had asked him to, trusted him to-you two fucked in his truck. You think about it often and how it all went down. One second he was driving, the next he was fingering you then he was deep inside of you as you rode him hard & fast. You'd never came like that before. That dick has some powers or something.

Then it happened again when you dropped lunch off to your dad at work.

Joel caught and glimpse of you and pretended to want to show you something in his little office then boom, he had you in his desk as he pounded into you.

You can't help but think about him. You get so wet at the simple mere thought of him. He knows what he does to you; He knows damn well. Whenever you two sext, he makes sure you cum just by his stupid, slutty messages.

You haven't seen him in a week or so and you two haven't hooked up since the last time which was when he fucked you at his place. You had lied to your dad, telling him you were going over to your friend McKennas house but truly, you headed over the Joel's. That's where he ate you out so good then fucked you, lovingly and passionately. You miss it. You miss him.

Suddenly, you heard your dad calling for you from downstairs. It sounded like he was in the kitchen.

"Sweetheart, I'm home, I brought you some dinner!" Yay! You were happy now and you can finally have a break-you totally deserve it. "Coming!" You shouted. You stood up and shut your music off, shutting your bedroom door as you exited it. You stammered down the stairs with haste, excited to eat. It smelt like Mexican food, you could smell it anywhere. You usually get the chimichanga with orange rice, it is heavenly!!!

Hopping off of the last step, you adjusted your tank top and walked through the open archway that led into the kitchen. On the marble island counter, you saw a bag of food and assumed yours was in there too. You glanced over at the brown table in the dining room and saw your dad. "Hi!" You said with a gleeful voice. You treaded to the bag and began to go through it, grabbing out the package with your name written on it. "Hi darling." Your dad said softly, he was already eating.

Were you two about to have an actual father-daughter dinner together? This is bound to end up in the history books.

You brought your container over to the table and right as you were about to sit down, a pair of fingers wrapped around the chair. You knew those fingers immediately-they were inside of you not to long ago. What the hell is Joel doing here? "Oh yeah, forgot to say something, Joel is here. He offered to put your new dresser together. You know I would darling but I have paperwork to do in my Study." This is just your fucking luck.

"Hey." Joel whispered, gazing at you. "Hi Joel." You breathed in deeply. The eye contact between the two of you was intense and clearly had sexual tension hosted in it. Your father cleared his throat and pointed at the chair. Joel pulled it out for you and you sat down and began to eat.

"I can get started on the dresser now. Where's it at?" Joel asked your father. "Just upstairs in her room. First door on your right." "Alrighty." Joel nodded and walked off.

You couldn't believe your goddamn dad let Joel go into your room to build your dresser. At this point, you'd rather do it yourself. It's not that you dislike Joel, not at all, but it's so difficult to be around the man. He makes you so aroused so easily. You practically need him.

You cut into a piece of the food and took a bite, chewing quickly. Your father was eating his dinner as well, he ordered some tacos, that's his usual. "How was work?" You asked. "Boring. We had to men fired today, bout goddamn time." You nodded at his words. "How's College been?" "Stressful." "You're a smart girl, I bet you're doing amazing." Your father praised you which honestly felt amazing.

"I have a test tomorrow on environmental science, I'm frustrated studying for it." "I'd help if I could but I never took that class. Just try your best, my dear, you'll do just fine." You were grateful for his confidence in you.

The food was really good, especially the rice. It felt great to finally eat. "Is your food good?" "Yeah dad, thank you for getting me some." "Of course." He welcomed you. You continued to eat. There was an urge though-an urge to go and check on Joel. Not necessarily check up on him, rather jump in his pants. You need him, the urge is present and so very clear.

You decided to eat a bit more before you'd excuse yourself.

"I was thinking that this weekend I'll stay over at Lydia's." "Lydia? You haven't spoken of her in a while." Wow! He actually noticed! There's a dad point for him. "Yeah well, girls fight, it's what we do. I miss her though. We want to see that new movie." "Do you need any money?" "No thanks dad, I have some." You assured him. In all actuality, Joel gave you some money recently, he enjoys spoiling you.

You scooped up some rice and ate it, chewing more slowly now. You didn't want to seem as if you were in a rush, that would just make this dinner awkward. You love your father, truly, you don't want to make him feel as though you want to get away from him. Your yearn for Joel is just so much more.

"We should have Chinese food tomorrow." You giggled, sipping from your water bottle. "That's funny because I was going to order that tonight but I switched last minute." Your dad chuckled. "We can definitely have Chinese tomorrow." You two smiled at each other. You love spending time with your dad like this.

After taking a couple more bites, you cleared your throat and sipped your water. "Dad, I'm gonna go help Joel. I feel bad after all, I could be building it." A little white lie can take you far. "Sure thing darling, I'll put your food away. I'll just be in the basement doing my work, ok? Holler if you need me, either one of yous." "Got it. Love you, thanks for dinner, it was tasty." You kissed your dad on the head and rushed up the stairs; So much for not seeming urgent.

You heard the sound of shuffling as you walked up the stairs. He must've already started working. You were nervous. You two haven't talked one on one in a bit.

Entering your bedroom, you saw Joel's burly figure kneeled as he was screwing some pieces together. He looked up at you with a smirk before talking, "Hey sweet thing." "Hi Joel." You kneeled down beside him. There were screws and other random teeny parts beside him. He was determined to get this dresser complete for you. There was also a toolbox a few inches from his body.

"Do you need any help?" "Not at all, this is easy." "Okay." You chuckled. You were extra nervous now, very much on edge. The tension between you two was something else. You wish you had the balls to just make a move.

The dresser appeared to only be in the beginning stages of completion. It wasn't surprising, he only started minutes ago. "Thank you for doing this." "S'okay, anytime, anything for you." He hummed.

You finally built the courage to say something to him, anything. Anything that would indicate you yearned for him, longed for him.

Joel stood up and walked over to your other dresser, grabbing some random miscellaneous tool. "I've been thinking about you." You admired. You were still on your knees, just looking up at him as he stared down at you. "That a fact?" "Mhm." You nodded. "Been thinkin' 'bout you too baby." Joel whispered. You looked behind you and scooted over to your bedroom door, closing it & locking it all while remaining on your knees.

"You have?" "I always am." Joel grunted, ambling towards you. You wanted him even more now. He's so attractive, so sexy. "What have you been thinking about?" "You know... Your face, your body, your touch and how good it would feel if you had me down your throat." He was such an ass in the best way possible. You giggled and looked down at his crotch area. He was wearing his work pants with a leather belt. "Is that what you want?" "Hm?" "For me to give you a blowjob?" You said seductively, slowly inching your way towards him.

He got the hint and chuckled. "What if your dad hears?" "He won't, he said he's going down to his study." You reassured him. Your hands were already at his belt. He scoffed and snickered. "Such a dirty girl, you're so needy." He slightly degraded you. He knows you're into it. "You need me down your throat." Joel grunted. You messed with his belt till you tossed it to the side, quickly pulling his stained jeans down along with his briefs.

His erect cock sprung out. He was rock hard. He's also so big, so long, so girthy. You've never had it so good. You gazed up at him, your eyes locking with his dark brown eyes. You licked your lips sexually and bit the lower one-pre-cum squirting out of his tip as you did. "Goddamn baby." He groaned, admiring you. You smiled and looked down at his member. It was directly in front of you, just waiting to feel your pretty wet lips around it. You did in fact need him down your throat. You want to feel his warm seed seep down your tight throat.

You wrapped your pink lips around his pale tip. You licked up his pre-cum, allowing it to coat your tongue. You heard him moan from above you. It's adorable how easily you get him going. He tasted amazing. "You're so pretty." He whispered, standing still and just letting you do your thing.

You shoved your head forward, taking him deep in your mouth. His cock is so big, you practically feel like you're choking on him anytime you blow him off; He loves it though. You held onto the base of his dick as you sucked him off, occasionally looking up at him. The first time you glanced up, his eyes were closed due to the intense pleasures but the second time, he was looking down at you. The look in his eyes was dark and stern. He looks so sexy when he's horny.

"Choke on me baby, that's it, good girl." Joel praised you. You love that too. You share not only a degrading kink, but a praising one too-you are a two in one deal.

Bobbing your head forward and backwards, you began to move it faster. You couldn't wait to feel him release. Him cum doesn't taste bad. You love it. You're obsessed with Joel in a way words couldn't describe. It's hard to explain. You don't particularly think you love him or are in love with him but... Maybe? You licked his tip, then all the way down his hardened dick, earning a twitch out of it. "Feels so damn good." He muttered, his hand going to your hair, the other remaining at his side.

The sounds of you gagging on his dick filled the room. Your spit was all around him and dripping onto the floor-you couldn't help it. He made a 'tsk' noise.

"Oh pretty baby, drooling for me, hm?" He teased. With his hand in your hair, he tugged your head upwards so you'd be looking at him. The grip he had on your hair was firm. "I'm gonna cum." Joel grunted, pushing your head for you now. All you did was use your tongue. You just kept slurping and sliding your wet tongue along the base of his length.

With only a few more licks & sucks, you felt his warm, gooey fluid flood down your throat. Like the good girl you are, you swallowed every last drop for him. "Jesus Christ..." He panted out, still holding your soft, silky hair. "That's it darlin'." Joel murmured.

You pulled away, wiping away the excess cum from your lips, cleaning them off. You looked up at him with watery eyes and he cooed. "Come here princess." You listened, you couldn't. You can't resist him.

As you began to lift yourself up, he pulled you into him. Your lips pressed against his. His hands went to your ass cheeks, squeezing both of them as he slipped his tongue into your wet, needy mouth. "Mmph." You moaned, caressing his scruff as the two of you made out passionately. You loved feeling his tongue in your mouth-you could just think about it flicking your clit. "Need to fuck you." He growled, bringing his hand to your ass, hard.

You giggled against his lips, sliding your tongue along his.

"Do you think you could be quick & quiet." "I know I can, the question is, can you?" Joel teased, caressing your ass as the two of you made out. It felt so good, so pleasurable. Yes, you could. Anything for him. You nodded, indicating you could. You seriously need him-now.

Joel practically tossed you onto your bed. You snickered and pulled your shorts down, along with your panties. Joel's eyes were stuck on your lower half the entire time, he was clearly enthralled. "Are you going to sit there and gawk or fuck me?" You bit your lip, laying your head against your soft, large pillows. He scoffed and mounted you, his arms holding himself up on either side of you. "This what you want babygirl?" "You know I want it, I need it." You were basically begging at this point.

With a chuckle, Joel pumped himself a couple times before aligning his cock with your entrance. You were still beyond soaked-it'd be enough lubricant. You were a bit nervous. With your father in the same house, just two stories below, he could potentially hear the two of you. You'll just pray for the best; Joel can keep you silent.

You winced slightly as he pushed his girthy dick inside of you, it was extremely hard; You were surprised he was able to come back from his high so quickly. "Joel..." You whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I know baby, I know." He grunted, becoming used to the feeling of your tight cunt around him. "Missed this." He whispered to you. He brought himself down to your face, kissing you a few times before he began to thrust into you at a decent pace, knowing you could take it.

With every movement, you could feel him going deeper inside of you. His cock rubbed so well against your clenched walls. You needed this, and you got it. You love it whenever he fucks you; You go dumb on his dick.

You couldn't help but watch his face, the way it contorted and shifted. You are honored by the way you're able to make him feel. He gets pussy drunk so easily. "You're so damn tight." He groaned, his mouth agape as he stared down at you. The stare the two of you shared was loving and lustful. You two needed each other. You would've never imagined you'd be getting fucked by your dad's friend but, here you are. Here the two of you are.

As he picked up the pace, his force got rougher. His pelvis was slamming into you; Your thighs will definitely be bruised after this. Your bed was slightly creaking to, but not loud enough to where your father may hear. "Just like that." You whined. Your head tilted backwards. The pleasure is immense, it's so much.

Joel slowly removed your arms from around your neck as he pinned them to the bed. You love being able to touch him just as much as you love being restrained. "Wish we could do this more often," Joel hummed, "I love seeing you like this baby." He added on. You giggled, gazing at him. "I need this more often." "Ya, you do, don't ya?" Joel was so cocky. "Need me inside of you, always." You moaned at his words. He isn't wrong.

At this point, he was pounding into you. Every thrust, every slip & slide, every movement in general was bringing you closer and closer to your breaking point.

"You feel so fuckin' good."

"I wanna see you cum around me."

"Gonna fill this pretty pussy up."

Each sentence also brought you closer. He is such a dirty man.

"Look at you, lookin' dumbed out as I fuck you."

"Just a little dirty slut."

"Keep takin' it darlin'."

Every. Sentence.

"I think I'm gonna cum." You whined. You attempted to get your wrists out of his grasp but your attempts were futile. "Please, don't stop." You begged, closing your eyes tightly. "Mmm, cum for me." And just like that, you did. Just by his words, you can so easily finish.

You moaned softly. Your entire back arched as your orgasm washed over you. You could feel your already tight walls clench further, and that only helped Joel cum sooner. You felt his semen spill inside of you, marking it's territory. "Goddammit." You heard Joel mumble under his breath.

Both of you were shaking with pleasure as you two both came down from your high. Sadly, no aftercare can happen, your father is just downstairs-no risks.

"That was perfect." Joel whispered, leaning up at kissing your nose, then your forehead. You laughed and breathed in deeply, "I'll be thinking of this next time I touch myself." "Oh babygirl, you better." Joel snickered, kissing you passionately before unfortunately having to pull away.

"C'mon sweet thing, let's get dressed before your daddy comes up here." "Ugh, alright." You obliged.

What a perfect evening...

[patscorner]

For The Rest Of My Life

TW: fluff, and a teeny bit of angst if u squint

The red is what I got from the song, even though this is loosely referencing it.

______________________________

5 years. It's been 5 years since Chris begged his best friend, Nate, for your number. You all were in high school at the time, juniors, to be exact.

You remember it like it was yesterday, when Nate asked for your permission to give your number to Chris. You remember your heart beating out of your chest with anxiety and excitement, surprised that Chris even knew your name.

You said yes, of course. That night, Chris and you blossomed a love that nobody could break. Except yourselves.

The first time he kissed you, you were on your third date, sitting in the bed of your dad's truck, under the stars. Chris knew at that moment that he'd love you for the rest of his life.

The first time he met your mom, he was so nervous, scared that she'd hate him. But that quickly faded, as you were an exact replica of her, both personality wise and looks wise. He loved her so much as they both instantly clicked. Sometimes, you questioned if he was only with you to get to her cooking, a real staple in their relationship.

That question died down as he made you feel like you were the only girl in the world. He took you on small dates and he treated better than anyone else ever could.

Even for your first time having sex together, he made it more special than you could've ever imagined. He was slow and sweet, making sure you were comfortable with everything he was doing.

You were kids, of course, so neither of you knew how to communicate rationally when you're upset. If Chris was angry, you'd smile at him, and he hated it, but he stayed. If you were upset, Chris would try to help, but in the end, he'd be frustrated and leave you alone with your thoughts, and you hated it, but you stayed.

You both matured together. You both grew up together. You both had your glow up together. Through the ups and downs, you stuck together. Every weekend, you go to his house, or he'd go to yours, and those were the core memories that stuck with you.

Eventually, you graduated high school together, and you followed Chris and his brothers to LA. The triplets job in social media was both good and bad.

The good part was, that you'd been in videos since you were in high school, so everyone knew you as Y/N Sturniolo, which was incorrect, but you kinda liked the way the last name looked on you.

When you and Chris announced you were dating, the internet almost exploded. Some fans were confused, some were upset, but most were supportive.

The hate got to you at times, but Chris was always right there to help you. He was there to reassure you, and he was there to defend you against the people who hate from behind a screen.

5 years. You and Chris had been dating for 5 years. 5 years, building up to this moment.

You weren't in a public restaurant because Chris knew how much you hated unwanted and unnecessary public attention. He'd always hold you close to him when he was swarmed by teenage girls during your mall outings, making sure you were okay.

Chris suggested that you all go to Boston and invite both families to hang out, having a little get together.

You thought it was strange, but you complied. All 4 of you, as well as Madi and Laura, packed your bags and got on the flight to Boston.

You'd been there for about a week, and Chris had planned a bunch of stuff out. He paid for you and your mom to get your nails done, and he gave you money to go shopping at the mall. You couldn't be more grateful.

Little did you know. Today was the day.

____

"Good morning, ma." Chris's voice rang throughout the quiet room. The sun glistened through the curtain, painting the room a golden yellow. You rolled over and made eye contact with blue eyes.

As you take in your surroundings, you feel Chris's big hands on your back, rubbing small circles comfortingly.

You hummed in response. "Come on, you gotta get up. I planned some stuff for us to do today." His deep voice broke at the end of his sentence, earning a smile from you.

"What time is it?" You asked, your morning voice finally breaking free from your mouth.

Chris smiled. "7:30pm." You and Chris always take midday naps, but this one was more of an evening nap.

You groaned and playfully slapped Chris's chest lightly. "What if we just lay here?" You closed your eyes tightly.

Chris chuckled lightly. "What if I tell you I made food?" You opened one eye, scanning Chris's face for an explanation.

"I'd call bullshit. The house is still standing." You joke.

Chris laughs lightly. "Okay, fuck you kid. Get up before it gets cold." He kisses your temple before pulling the covers off himself and standing up to put a shirt on. "Get dressed. Casual clothing, we're going out." He smiled before walking out of the room.

You sigh as you follow suit, putting a black croptop on, with a white jacket. You put a pair of blue jeans on and your white Air Forces that Chris got you to match his.

You do your hair, brush your teeth, do your makeup, and put your earrings on before walking downstairs. Your jaw drops as you see your beautiful boyfriend sitting at the island, which is covered with all of your favorite foods.

"Wha- what's all this?" You ask as you move towards Chris slowly. He smiles as he stands up and approaches you. You meet in the middle, and he wraps his hands around your waist. You rest your arms around his neck, pulling yourself closer to him.

"Surprise, baby." He said, pulling you in to give you a sweet, passionate kiss.

You smile into the kiss. "What's this all for?" You ask, turning your head to admire the spread of food in front of you. Another thing Chris knew about you was that you were a foodie. No matter what you were doing, food would make it a hundred times better.

He shrugged, his face turning a light pink color. "I just felt like it." Is all he said.

You tilted your head in confusion but nodded nonetheless. "Thank you, baby. I love it." You smile.

"I knew you would." He leaned in to kiss your cheek. "Now, dig in. We gotta be there in an hour." He let go of your waist and guided you to the island.

"Be where?" You asked, sitting down at the island.

He shook his head and grinned. "You'll see."

______

"Chris, come on! Can I take this off now?" You said, pouting, tugging on the blindfold.

He laughed but kept his eyes on the road. He carrassed your thigh gently. "No, ma, but we're almost there."

You groan, putting your head back. "I've been in the dark so long." You whine loudly.

Chris laughs. "I know, I know, but I promise it's worth the wait."

You roll your eyes, even though he can't see them. "It better be." You grumble.

You feel the car be put in park. "See, we're here. Was that so hard, sweetheart?"

You cross your arms. "Yes." You lie, smiling.

Chris shakes his head. "Whatever. Let me get the door for you." You hear Chris open and close the door, leaving in a brief silence before you feel your door open.

You feel for Chris's arms, which immediately help you out of the car. He pulls you into a hug. "I love you, baby." He whispers, his voice quiet and shaky.

You cock your head in confusion. "I love you, too. Everything okay?"

You feel Chris lift the blindfold off your head, your eyes immediately shutting at the sudden brightness. "Damn, Chris." You mutter, rubbing your eyes.

He laughs lightly.

When your eyes adjust to the brightness, you see that you're in a park.

But it wasn't any park. It was the park where you and Chris both said your first 'I love yous'. The park that was above the beach, a place where you could park your car and watch the sunset.

This place held such a sensitive place in your heart, and it immediately tugged in your chest as you looked at Chris, who had tears in his eyes.

"Baby, what're we doing here?" You wipe his tears, and he laughs softly, wiping them as well. "I told myself I wasn't gonna cry yet."

You shake your head. "It's okay. What're you planning?"

He shook his head, grabbing your hand and walking you through the park. You approach a blanket with words written on it. You can't make out the word before Chris pulls you into him, as you both stand up in front of the sunset.

He wrapped his arms around your waist as your back pressed against his chest. He swayed you both back and forth as you both just relished each other's company for a while.

Eventually, he spoke. "Come on." He grabbed your hand, walking you to the blanket, where you can see the letter clearly now. It spelled out 'will you marry me?" In your favorite flower petals, because he knew you didn't like red. (Unless it's red, then replace with fav color)

You freeze and look at Chris, who is now kneeling in front of you with a ring.

You cover your mouth with your hands, tears threatening the fall.

Chris wiped his tears before his spoke, clearing his throat. "Y/n Y/l/n, I love you so much. I never knew I could ever feel this way about someone. I never knew I could be so happy." He choked, wiping his tears once more. "Fuck. Okay, okay. You're my strength and my weakness. You help me battle my demons, and so far, we're undefeated. After all these years, I still have a crush on you, and it's never faded."

He swallowed, not bothering to wipe his tears anymore. You're still standing in front of him in shock, listening to his proposal.

"I love you so much, and if you let me, I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life. And if you let me, we can start a family. And if you let me, I can call you my wife. So, Y/n Y/l/n... will you marry me?"

You stare at Chris for a moment longer before kneeling in his level and engulfing him in a hug. You both are an emotional mess, using each other for comfort.

You pull away and wipe your tears. Chris smiles. "Is that a yes?"

You nod, laughing tearfully. "Yes, yes, of course." You pull him into an emotional kiss before pulling away.

He attempted to slide the ring on your finger, but he was shaking. "Oh baby, you're shaking." You sniffle.

He smiles shyly, finally getting the ring on. "I know, I was nervous as fuck." You pull him into another hug as he stood up.

"I love you so much, Christopher." You say into the crook of his neck. He smiled. "I love you more. You have no idea."

You feel tears prick your eyes again, never feeling more loved. Chris looked at your glassy eyes, wiping the tears. "Don't cry again, or I'm gonna cry again." He says, his voice shaking.

You laugh. "I can't help it! I'm gonna get married!" You sigh.

"Well, get it the fuck together! I told Matt and Nick I wouldn't cry." He exclaimed jokingly.

You laugh, wiping his tears. "They didn't believe you, did they?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Give me that ring back." You laugh as he grabbed your hand and pulled you back to the car.

"Where are we going?" You ask, buckling up.

"They're waiting for us at the restaurant." He said.

"What?"

He looked at you. "I love you so much, ma. I can't wait to be your husband." He smiled. Your face flushed as you leaned in to give him a deep, passionate kiss.

He smiled into the kiss. "If I get one of those every time I say that, don't expect any other words to come out of my mouth from now on."

You laugh as he puts the car in drive. After about 15 minutes, you arrive at the restaurant.

From the car, you can see yours and Chris's whole family through the window. You look at Chris. "How -"

He put his hand up. "Magician never reveals his secrets." You smile, getting out of the car, holding hands with Chris as you both walk into the building.

You walk in and the building went silent. All the eyes looked at you, but they didn't make you nervous, because you knew all of the familiar, comforting eyes look at you.

Chris clears his throat. You look at him before looking back at everyone. You smile and hold up your hand with the ring on it.

"I'm getting married!" You say, earning cheers and claps from the audience. Matt and Nick immediately walk up to Chris and give him a giant hug and say congratulations.

Matt pulled you into a comforting hug. "Did he cry?" He asked as he pulled away.

You smile. "Like a baby." You laugh, earning a laugh from Matt and Nick. Chris stared at you. "Snitch." He muttered.

Nick embraced you into a hug. "Congratulations. I'm surprised he managed to keep you after all these years." Nick shook his head. You laughed.

"Me too. But I wouldn't trade it for the world."

Nick cringed. "Corny." He smiled, shaking his head.

You smile, before saying goodbye and walking over to Chris, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, baby." You whisper in his ear, his arm snaking around your waist.

He smiled back at you, tears pricking his eyes again. "I love you, too."

You were going to get married. Married to your best friend and soul mate. And you couldn't be happier.

______________________________

[dearsnow]

PEACH FUZZ BOY

- ponyboy has never been in a relationship before, and now that he’s started one with his best friend, he feels as though something is different. (ponyboy curtis x gn!reader, fluff, based on peach fuzz by caamp)

word count: 924

a/n - yeah 90% of my fics are based off of songs, sue me 😞 but i love ponyboy and i love this song and they just fit together so perfectly!!

This is new to Ponyboy. Hand-holding, kissing, trying to talk to you without stumbling over his words, all of it. When he sees you, his mouth just goes dry and his pencil cracks and all his poetic euphemisms fly out of his mind like he threw stones at birds. He’s in love.

He’s been in love, but something about making it official has knocked away all of the familiarity he built with you.

Ever since he saw you in the third grade, eyes watery and a wet book clutched in your shaking fists, he knew there was something electrifying about you. He felt like he had to walk up to you and help you pick up your things from the puddle, glaring at the backs of the people who threw them down. He had to walk with you to class, and he had to join you on the swing set during lunch. In a sense, he fell head over heels for you on that foggy September day.

Everything else just came easily to the both of you. You sat with him in class, you whispered behind the pages of your books, you fell in step with his unruly gang of older boys, and you were together so frequently his parents joked you were attached at the hip. Pony never really thought about you in any other way, until the night of a seemingly ordinary rumble.

You were always worried about him fighting, so when he came back with a black eye, multiple scrapes, and a busted lip, you were (understandably) very upset. And, like you always did, you cleaned him up and gave him a stern talking-to with a voice laden with care.

Something scared him that day. During the rumble, all he could think about was you. You getting hurt. You seeing him hurt. Coming back to your house with new-forming scars and seeing your eyes tear up. A little thing inside of him broke, and when he felt your breath on his cheek, your hands deftly placing a bandage on his forehead, he just couldn’t stop himself. He leaned in and kissed you, and you kissed back.

It was natural, like breathing or the beat of his heart. All of a sudden, he wanted to see more of you than the colors he had already been shown. He wanted it, and god, would he get it.

“Pony?” You ask, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What’s been up with you lately? You seem really out of it.”

He hesitates. He would hate to confess all of this, that the quick-as-lightning transition from best friends to dating has tied his tongue and shaken his palms. “Nothin’, honest.”

You absolutely do not believe him. You know him too well. The curve of his lips, the movements of his eyes, how he hides his hands- he’s lying, and you know it. “That’s not true. Seriously, what’s up?” You move to place your hands over his, and his breath falters. “You can tell me. I won’t judge.”

He doesn’t want to, he seriously doesn’t want to, but your eyes are so earnest, and just like a few days ago, his feelings are beginning to slip to the surface.

“I…” he hesitates. You patiently listen, like you always do. “I don’t know how to do stuff like this. I’ve never done it before, ‘n I guess I’m just scared I’ll mess up.” He gives a heavy sigh. “It’s like I still have peach fuzz for, like, love and stuff.”

“Peach fuzz?” Your voice has a humorous ring to it, but a kind one all the same.

“Yeah. It’s stupid, sorry.”

You lean your head on your shoulder and feel his body stiffen. “Don’t be sorry, Pony. I get it. I have it too.” His entire being relaxes as soon as those words leave your mouth. If you have it too, if you feel the same way he does, then surely there’s nothing wrong with him. Maybe it’s normal. “All I know is that I love you, and I want us to be normal again.”

He looks down at you, eyes slightly widened. “You don’t wanna date me anymore?”

“That’s the exact opposite of what I was trying to say.” You giggle, and the panic blooming in his stomach stills. “I just mean that we don’t have to be awkward. I know you as well as you know me, and dating doesn’t have to mean we forget everything we’ve learned. If anything, it’s an excuse to learn more.”

“Oh.” The moment is quiet for just a second until he realizes something, his voice cracking as his eyebrows raise. “Did you say you love me earlier?”

You smile, eyes squinting in their usual way. “Yes.”

He runs a hand through his greased hair, his heart beating wildly. “Cool.” You look at him. “Sorry, sorry. I mean, I love you too. A lot. More than a lot, probably. I don’t know.”

You laugh, and he joins in with a nervous chuckle. Before you know it, you’re laughing so hard you collapse into his lap, and he’s bent over with a hand pressed to his mouth.

When the laughter finally stops, he stares down at your face and leans closer. “I’ll be normal, I promise. From now on, I’ll be the same old Ponyboy.”

You wrap an arm around his neck and pull him down further, kissing the corner of his mouth lightly. “And I’ll be your same old best friend, I promise. With a little more love involved, of course.“

[slaymybreathaway]

WASTELAND BABY! (Chapter Three)

Chapter List Masterlist 📼

Word Count: 1k

Content: sexual innuendo, friendly banter, Neville being all cute and flustered

September 5th ○ Gryffindor Dorms

-----------------------------------------

"Ron get up" Harry shook the sleeping figure of his best friend and watched as his one of his eyes opened, his long red hair still splayed across the pillow.

The rest of the boys were already up, having been woken by the bell rining in the corridoor fifteen minutes prior.

"Lemmesleeparry," Ron mumbled before turning onto his other side. Harry rolled his eyes, though he had grown used to this over years.

"Tell him that he'll miss breakfast," Dean laughed from where he was making his bed on the other side of the room. "That should get him up quick enough,"

"Or..." Seamus buttoned up his shirt before grabbing his pillow and holding it up, a michevious smirk on his face.

The other three boys realised what he was getting at and picked up their pillows, quietly walking over to Ron's bed. Seamus counted down from three on his fingers before they all jumped on the bed, bashing the sleeping boy with their pillows.

Ron covered his head with his hands, in a futile attempt to protect himself from the suprise attack. Feathers flew around the room as laughter erupted from the attackers, only stopping once Ron held up his hand in surrender. "Alright alright! I'm up, I'm up!"

Seamus, Dean, Harry and Neville retreased back to their own beds, still chuckling to themselves as a loud knock sounded on the door.

"Shay, you in there?" The sound of an Irish accent made Neville turn his head towards the door quicker than a racing broom.

"Yeah, come in Y/n" Seamus called out from where he was digging through his trunk.

The door opened and in walked y/n, carrying a small pile of clothes. She put them on Seamus' bed, not noticing Neville trying to fix his hair as much as he could.

It had been a few days since their dance on the top of the astronomy tower that had made his affections for her stronger than ever.

"Ma put these in with my stuff before we left. She leave anything with you?" She asked, peering over her brothers shoulder into his trunk. It was often that their mother got their clothes mixed up while doing the laundry.

"I don't understand why there's a charm on the stairs to the girl's dorms but not the boy's. What if we weren't decent or something?" Ron muttered grumpily as he sat on the edge of his bed, pulling on a pair of grey socks.

Y/n turned to face him. "Dumbledore trusts us more than you bunch of perverts I suppose," she let out a laugh, crossing her arms.  "Besides, if you weren't decent, Ron, I doubt there'd be much for me to look at anyways,"

A smirk climbed onto the girl's face as a chorus of "oooh" sounded across the room. A red blush started to connect the freckles on Ron's cheeks as he stuttered trying to defend himself.

Inbetween fits of laughter, Harry handed Ron the glass of water from his nightstand. "You'll need this, mate"

"For what?" He looked up at his friend in confusion.

"To cool down that burn!!" Dean called out, both of his hands cupped around his mouth to project his voice, the room erupted into laughter once more.

"Oh shut up," Ron rolled his eyes and walked straight to bathroom.

Laughter died down as everyone went back to what they were doing. Seamus pulled a couple of t-shirts out of his trunk and set them down on the bed. "Here, these are yours... and, em," he spoke embarrasedly "so is this,"

Y/n watched as Seamus picked a black bra out of his trunk like it was a contaminated object and flung it towards her. Her face immediatley went red with embarrasment as she tucked the bra away under her jumper in an attempt to hide it.

It was poinless though, because Dean let out a whistle from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "C'mon y/n/n, show and tell," he joked.

"Piss off Deano," she cracked into a laugh before picking up her other clothes from the bed and started to leave. "Hey Nev, I need to drop these back to my dorm. Will you save a seat in the Great Hall for me?"

Neville looked up from where he was studying his timetable for the year and gave y/n a smile. "Yeah of course,"

Seamus' eyes glanced between all of his friends' faces in suspicion. He waited till his sister had left the room and was out of earshot before turning back to his mates. "You guys better have had a good look because that's it," he spoke just as Ron walked back into the dorm, toothbrush in hand.

"That's what?" Harry asked, confused.

All of the boys turned their heads to Seamus for an answer.

Seamus crossed his arms before speaking "Y/n's off limits, starting now,"  he nodded decidedly.

Neville looked at Seamus with confusion. What did he mean off limits?

"What? That's crazy! we wouldn't go after your sister," Dean shot back, a look of shock on his face.

"Speak for yourself, Thomas." Ron scoffed, a smirk on his face. Seamus, who's face was turning quite red, was about to speak up before Harry interrupted him.

"Do you think if I asked her out she'd say yes. You know, because I'm The Chosen One and all," he grinned, sharing a look with Ron. Of course neither of them was serious, they were just trying to get on Seamus' nerves... and it was working.

Once Dean realised what they were doing, he chimed in too. "On second thought, she does give me the look sometimes"

Seamus almost had smoke almost blowing out of his ears at this stage, but before he exploded he turned to Neville. "I suppose you wanna get in on this aswell, Longbottom?" He asked.

A state of panic came over Neville and he could feel the colour drain from his face. "What? I don't wanna say anything!" He held his hands up.

Seamus' anger was halted as he flung one of his arms around Neville's shoulders. "See! Longbottom's the only one with the decency to not want to snog my sister!" He smiled, pointing at Neville between every word.

Nevilles face went from white as a ghost to red as a tomato in a matter of seconds and he felt his heart racing in his chest.

Only if he knew...

[paperweight91]

Like I’m Gonna Lose You

Part 1

Summary: your crush on your married lawyer friend gets a little out of control…

Warnings: smut, Daddy kink, infidelity

Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader, mentions of Andy Barber x Laurie Barber

A/N: This is something inspired by the lovely @georgiapeach30513 ! If it wasn’t for her AMAZING fic Desperate Affairs I’m not sure this would exist.

If you would like to read more I am hoping to post the next part soon.

Autumn set in early this year, much earlier then you ever remembered it setting in before. Only the first week of September and you were already wearing your fall jacket to work. You always loved fall, but wish that summer could last just a little longer.

You locked up your apartment as you set out for work, earlier than usual so you could stop and get a nice warm coffee, heck maybe you’d even spring for one of the seasonal drinks since it was pay week.

As you walked into the little cafe and joined the line, which was already so long despite the early hour, you spotted him. ADA Andy Barber. The man you had secretly crushed on for months. It was embarrassing at this point. Mostly because he’s married. It was so hard though, he was always so kind and attentive. In those moments it was easy to forget why you shouldn’t be crushing on him.

“Hey!” Andy smiled at you, and your heart jumped into your throat. Why did he have to have such a nice smile? “I didn’t know you came here. It’s been a while.”

Yeah because I’m avoiding you.

“I don’t usually,” you tried to smile but it probably came out more like a grimace. “With how cool it’s been I wanted a warm treat and no better time than pay week.” Ugh, why? Why were you so awkward?

Andy made small talk as you both progressed through the line. It was wonderful, and so horrible at the same time. Once you placed your order, he quickly sidled up beside to place his own and pay for both.

“Andy! You don’t have to do that!” You look up at him pleadingly.

“My treat.” He says, and he has his courtroom voice on. “Maybe this means I’ll see you here again since you didn’t have to splurge today.” He winks at you.

He WINKED! That has to mean something. God you wish you were better at this.

“Thank you Andy. I really appreciate it.” You smile shyly. “Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow since it’s my day off and I can actually sit and enjoy a coffee for once.” You laugh at your own joke.

“I’ll be here same time, I’ll even save us a table.” Andy says as he reaches for both your cups from the barista saying a quick thanks.

“It’s a date!” You smack you forehead. What a stupid thing to say to a married man. Married, he’s married! “I uh I didn’t mean, you know date as in dating. Oh god. You know what I’m uh I have to go to work. Thanks again Andy.” Your face heats up as you speed walk to your car.

Stupid, stupid! How could you have said that out loud, to his face! He’s gonna think you’re crazy. Scratch that you are crazy. Pining after a man who’s married with a kid. Just ridiculous.

You look up hearing a tapping on your window - it’s Andy. You roll down your window, looking directly at your steering wheel, still too embarrassed to look at him, you can’t even ask him what he wants, it’s too much. He’s probably here to tell you to stay away from him.

“Hey sweetheart,” ugh the pet name is back. He always calls you this when you do something embarrassing. Usually it’s something small like tripping or dropping stuff. Nothing like proclaiming seeing him as a date.

“I’m so sorry Andy, that was so innapropriate. I should not have said that.” You speak barely above a whisper. Not even sure he heard you.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll see you tomorrow same time, okay? Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He reaches his hand through the open window and strokes your hair back from your face.

Huh. Andy’s always been affectionate with you, maybe he’s taking pity on your by now obvious crush on him.

“Th-thanks Andy. See you tomorrow.” You put the car and gear and drive away. God that man he did something to you.

Your day at work was mostly wasted as you spent most of your time thinking of how your date with Andy would go tomorrow. Coffee, he invited you for coffee. That doesn’t mean it’s a date. It’s true lots of friends just get coffee with each other.

Finally, your work day over you sign off and say good bye to your coworkers. Getting in your car, you decide to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things since you planned to spend all of tomorrow reliving your date with Andy. Whatever, it’s in your own head. Enjoy the moments while you have them right?

Picking up your essentials for the week on autopilot, you barely realize when your back in the car and are halfway home before your brain comes back online. Oh well, at least it wasn’t far. Although you should probably stop day dreaming about Andy while driving. That was a sure fire way to get in an accident.

You spend most of the night tossing and turning, not sure what to think about tomorrow. You finally pull yourself out of bed at 5, knowing you won’t be getting any sleep. You shower and decide to wear one of your favourite fall outfits. A brown sweater dress that has always fit you well. Putting on some light make up, you look at the time and realize you’re running later than you thought and rush out the door.

Pulling up to the cafe you see Andy through the window. As promised sitting at a table, with two cups infront of him.

You take a breath and look at him closely before you walk in. He looked good when he’s not in a suit. He also looks good in a suit, but casual - in jeans and a sweater? This is new and fantastic.

“Andy!” You say as you walk over to the table. “I thought you might be working today?” You don’t mean it to come out as a question but it does anyways.

He laughs and smiles at you. “ I have to go by the courthouse later, but wanted to see you this morning.” His eyes sparkle at you. “I got you the same as yesterday, I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s great but you didn’t have to. I thought I was paying today.” You pout at him as you sit across from him. This kinda feels like a date, right? You can pretend at least.

“I know, I know. But how could I let you pay on our date?” His smile is mischievous. Like he knows he’s doing something he shouldn’t.

Your blush reaches your toes if possible.

“Oh God. Andy I’m so sorry, I know this isn’t a date, I can’t believe I said that, to your face!” You cover your face with your hands but not for long. Andy reaches across the table, and holds your hands in his.

“Andy?” You’re confused. Very confused. And maybe reading into the situation a little too much.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.” His smile is so warm on his beautiful face. And you’re not sure what to say so you take a sip of coffee.

“Did you order black?” You ask him and he nods. You quickly switch the cups and sigh at the sip of your over priced pumpkin spice whatever.

From there the conversation flows for more than an hour. You’ve never been able to speak to someone like this. Not friends or ex-boyfriends. Andy is such a great listener and so passionate when he speaks. You get lost staring at him while he tells you about a case he just wrapped up.

Watching how his eyes light up when he mentions something he was clearly proud of. How his neck flexes when he recalls something seedy the defence did. He’s just beautiful.

“Hey,” he waves a hand in front of your face. “Did I lose you for a minute?”

“N-no, of course not. You were talking about how Neil’s been trying to steal this case from you?” God you hope that’s right.

He sighs, wrong. Dammit.

“Laurie finds this stuff boring too. I’m used to it. We can talk about something else if you want.” You definitely don’t want that. He seems so sad, and put out by your obvious distraction, it’s natural when you reach across the table to cup his cheek.

“I’m sorry Andy. It’s not boring I promise. I just um…” you trail off, unsure of how to say what was actually happening.

“What sweetheart? You know you can tell me.” His face is a mix of confusion and worry. And you don’t like that so you know you have to tell him.

“Well I just was watching you while you spoke, and I know it sounds creepy. But Andy you’re so passionate and it shows throughout you. I really admire that about you.” There that wasn’t terrible. He won’t think the wrong thing, right?

The smile that spreads across his face makes your insides jump around. Beautiful.

“Thank you sweetheart. You want to get out of here?” Wait what? Isn’t that what the creepy dude you met at the bar asked you? It must have shown on your face because he quickly added, “I’d like to spend some more time with you, but I’m not gonna lie. These chairs? They’re killing my back.” He laughed.

You laughed too. “Would you want to come back to my apartment? I could make us a bite to eat?”

“That sounds great sweetheart. Text me your address, I’ll meet you there.”

You text him your address and start to gather your things. He walks you to your car with his hand on the small of your back the whole time. It’s not weird, friends do this. Right?

You race back to your apartment to do a quick tidy before Andy shows up. Just when you begin to think he isn’t showing up, there’s a knock at your door.

“Sorry! Couldn’t find parking” he must have parked pretty far away. You see the slight sheen of sweat on his brow.

“That’s alright, please come in. And excuse the mess I was planning to clean when I got back.”

His eyes take in your apartment and you squirm like he’s inspecting you.

“Is something wrong?” You ask. His silence is making you nervous, and you shuffle your feet.

“Oh sweetheart no, nothings wrong. Your place is wonderful. I was just trying to find this ��mess’ you speak of.” He pulls you into his arms. And you giggle at his joke and the closeness. “ is this okay?” He asks wrapping one arm around your waist. The other has found it’s way to your face cupping your cheek and bringing you closer.

“Uh Andy what’s going on?” You’re nervous it’s obvious. He can’t be doing what you think he’s doing.

As leans in you can see his lips get closer before he whispers. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. You want me, don’t you?”

Before you can respond he’s kissing you. Actually kissing you. And the world stops for a moment, because this? This is perfect, and wonderful and-he’s married.

You push him away. “Andy, you’re - you’re married. What about Laurie?” God it hurt to push him away. But you can’t do this right? Even if you’ve never felt like that kissing someone before.

Andy sighs and pulls away from you. And that hurts worse than stopping the kissing. He begins to pace around your living room, before he gathers his thoughts. He finally turns to you and places his hands on his hips.

“Just answer me. Do you want me?” He looks sad again, and that’s a look you don’t want to see on his face. And worse to know you put it there.

“Of course I do. But-“ he cuts you off.

“Sweetheart, things with Laurie they’re - complicated. And you, I feel so much more like myself around you. Please, if you don’t want this I will walk out that door, and never bother you again. But if you do…” he trails off. The most earnest look on his face.

Your body makes a decision before your brain can catch up and somehow you’re kissing him again. But this time it’s much more heated.

“You’re sure?” You mumble against his lips. His only answer is to wrap his hand around your thighs and lift. Blindly carrying you over to the couch. He trails kisses down your neck to the line of your sweater dress. His hands skimming up your thighs underneath your dress to your panties.

“Wanted you for so long.” He says between kisses to your collarbone. “Wanna see you sweetheart, can I?”

You nod bashfully and he gets up so you can pull your sweater dress off. There you are standing in front of Andy Barber in nothing but a nude lacy bra and panty set.

“Don’t hide from me sweetheart. You’re beautiful like this.” His hands reach out to you and you go into his embrace. And he’s kissing you again. Pushing you down to the couch he starts to grope at your breasts, before releasing the front clasp on your bra.

The groan Andy lets out when he sees your breasts spill out flips a switch in you. This man wants you so badly, he’s willing to cheat on his wife for you. You reach down to remove your panties, but Andy’s hand stops you.

“Want you to keep them on sweetheart. Gonna fuck you, then fill you up and then you’re gonna keep it in there all day till I tell you to clean up. Cause you’re my good girl right?” His pupils are blown wide as he looks down at you. And all you can do is moan and nod.

“Please Andy…” you’re writhing and mewling beneath him and he’s barely touched you. You reach down to pull at his fly and button to get his cock out.

“Such a good girl for me aren’t you sweetheart?” He starts to pinch on of your nipples, while massaging the other breast. “Want Daddy to take care of you? Get you all cockdrunk and full?”

“Please Daddy,” you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore as you slowly jack him off. “Want you so bad, always wanted you, only you.”

Andy groans and surges forward to kiss you again. His hands leave your breasts to line himself up with your core. He pulls your panties to the side with one and runs the head of his cock between your lips with the other.

“Look at you, drenched for me and I’ve barely even touched you. Tell me how bad you want it baby, and then I’ll give it to you.” You reach up to cup his cheek.

“Want you so bad Daddy. Need you. Feel like I’m gonna lose it if you’re not inside me soon.” You whine and whimper as he teases you with his cock.

Finally he starts to breach your pussy. It’s a stretch, he’s bigger than you have had before, and you reach up to his arms and squeeze.

“You’re doing so good for me baby. Just a little more. Daddy will take care of you, I promise.” He’s whispering as he leans his forehead against yours. His eyes staring straight into yours.

“You’re so big, I don’t think it’s gonna fit.” You whimper and he kisses your temple. Finally you feel his balls slap against your ass and he’s all the way in.

“Oh baby, gonna fuck you now. You ready?” His hips are already pulling back before you can answer and they snap forward roughly.

Your eyes roll back as he gets into a rhythm. No one has ever throughly ruined you like this before. He may have ruined you for other men.

Andy sets a brutal pace, his hips snapping into you fast and rough. His right hand cupping and playing with your breast and the left sneaking into your panties to rub circles on your clit.

“Daddy please ‘m close.” It’s building inside you and before you can warn him your screaming out your orgasm.

“That’s it, such a good girl for Daddy. I’m right behind you baby.” And somehow Andy’s pace picks up again. You didn’t think he could fuck you any faster or harder, but here he is railing you within an inch of your life.

“‘M close baby, almost there.” He groans his release and you feel his cum flooding into you.

He pants into your neck for a few moments as you stroke one hand through his hair. The other is shamelessly clinging to his ass.

“You did so good for me baby.” He leans over you to pepper kisses all over your face causing you to giggle.

“Andy!” He laughs and finally gives you a break. Looking down at where you’re both connected he slowly starts to pull out, causing you to shudder. He lets your panties snap back into place, and slides down to kiss over your covered mound.

“Remember baby keep it all inside until I tell you to clean up okay?” This is new. The sex you’ve had with men before was…meh at best. And now you’ve slept with a married man, who wants you to call him Daddy and keep his cum inside you all day.

“Uh Andy?” You’re not sure if you want to tell him this. But you probably should.

When he climbs back up your body and gazes into your eyes it’s to see a searching expression on his face.

“Yeah baby, what is it?” He’s so kind, so sweet.

“What does this mean?” You can’t look him in the eye. It’s too embarrassing.

Andy sighs before responding. “I want to do this with you. Get to know you, spend time with you, fucking ruin you for other men. I don’t know where it will god, but we’ll figure it out as we go. Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.”

And that’s how your affair with Andy Barber started.

After that it became a regular thing. When he could sneak away from Laurie he would text or call you to come over. There was nagging guilt building, but you always managed to push it away.

He was choosing you over her!

You let it carry on for months, trying all of Andy’s newest ideas to bring you both pleasure. After the first time, he didn’t linger around for very long after. Usually leaving as soon as he had you stuffed full of his cum. And you of course just kept falling for this unavailable man.

As you tidied up the house on your day off you heard your phone start ringing from the kitchen where you must have left it.

“Hang on!” You rush through the living room to answer, knowing that the only person who ever calls you is Andy.

“Hey Sweetheart,” ugh his voice. It got you every time.

“Hey Andy, what’s up?” That was casual right?

He laughs across the line, “I miss you sweetheart can I come see you?”

“Oh course! I was just tidy-“he cuts you off.

“Great I’ll be there in 20.” With that the line clicks off. You hum as you lose interest in tidying and decide to change, since you know what’s coming.

Slipping out of your pants and t-shirt, you decide on a floral dress with spaghetti straps. Andy always likes when you wear dresses for him.

15 minutes later you hear the knock at your apartment door that can only be him.

You smile as you open the door. “Hey, were you in the neighborhood?”

He doesn’t answer, just closes the door behind him, and pulls his jacket off. He goes to sit on your couch and gestures you to follow him.

“Is something wrong?” You ask him with a worried look on your face.

Andy’s face softens as he pulls you into his lap. “No sweetheart, I’m sorry. It’s not you. Just a bad day and I needed my good girl around to help me feel better.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and nuzzle into his neck. Peppering kisses along the collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry, can I do anything to help you feel better?”

His smile is watery as he turns his face to look at you. “Can I take you to bed baby? I just need to feel you.”

“Of course Daddy, always want to feel you.” You wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders as he lifts you bridal style to take you to your bedroom.

He gently lowers you to your mattress, and himself above you. The kiss he plants on your lips is different from all the times he’s kissed you before. It’s slower, more passionate, like he’s trying to convey more without words.

You thread your fingers through his hair with one hand and use the other to start unbuttoning his shirt. Which he quickly shrugs out of. He moves to the zipper of your dress, normally something like this he’d barely undress you, but today something was different. Did he feel it too?

When you were both fully naked he cupped your cheek and stared into your eyes for a few moments, before slowly easing himself into you. Slowly he began to rut into you, his eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the pleasure building, slowly, but in a delicious way you had never felt before.

Using one arm to brace himself he brought the other down to your clit and started rubbing figure eights.

“Oh Andy, please I’m close. Don’t stop.” You were panting.

“I know sweetheart, I’m close too. Come on, I want us to cum together.” He adds more pressure to his fingers and changes the angle of his hips so he’s hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

“Oh! Oh, right there, right-“ you cut yourself off with a loud moan as your orgasm tears through you. It almost feels like you black out for a moment, because the next thing you know Andy is collapsing beside you and pulling you into his chest.

Through the afterglow you manage to murmur a few words to Andy. “I love you…”

He stiffens underneath you, the slow strokes of his hand running up and down your arm stop immediately.

“Andy?” He starts to sit up, not looking at you. In that moment you realize how wrong you had gotten everything. He didn’t want more than the sex. That was it, and here you were falling in love with a married man.

“I have to go.” He quickly gathers his clothes, still not looking at you as he dresses himself. While you sit alone and naked on your bed, in shock. Once he’s dressed he spares you a glance before walking out your door.

As soon as the latch clicks into place it’s like the last few moments finally hit you. You told him you love him, and he left. You turn over and sob into your pillow, uncaring for your nakedness, or how cold your bedroom is. Still smelling his cologne there makes you sob harder, to the point you feel like you’re going to throw up. It’s too much. You gave him too much of yourself, and now what do you have to show for it?

The days seems to stretch on after that. Everything seems to be passing in a haze around you. You call in to work on Monday, because why bother.

On Monday night you get a text from Andy. To say you’re shocked is an understatement. You stare at the notification for a while, unsure if you want to see what he has to say.

Deciding that you pretty much already knew what it was going to say you decide to jump in the shower, since you can’t remember the last time you did that. Stepping out you see your phone taunting you from the counter. More notifications from Andy.

Hey Sweetheart, just wanted to check in. Can I call? Pffft yeah right.

I’m sorry Sweetheart, please just let me explain

Nope, not gonna work.

At least just let me know you’re okay? Why were you starting to feel guilty? Of course you weren’t okay. Of course you didn’t want to speak with him. Of course you were falling for it.

Before your brain catches up to what you are doing you’re phone is ringing to Andy.

“Hello?” His voice is rough, like he was sleeping. Maybe he’s as upset as you?

“Sweetheart? Are you there?”

“Hey, yup, sorry. What do you want Andy?” Ugh, why are you almost crying again.

“Can I come over and we talk? Please? I want to explain and I don’t want to do it over the phone or through text.” He’s pleading. Well good, he broke your heart.

“If you want to come over to make it clear that this was just sex to you, no need. You walking out the door after I told you I love you-“ your breath gets caught in your throat but you power through. “That made things pretty clear.”

“That’s not-“ this time you cut him off.

“No Andy. Unless you’re about to say ‘I’m leaving Laurie’ this conversation is over.” You pause waiting for him to say something, anything. After the longest moment of silence you’ve ever experienced in your life passes you hang up.

It’s like you have no more tears left. You stand there alone in your sad apartment feeling the worst you have in a long time. You decide you need to move on, avoid Andy at all costs and live your life like you used to before the tornado that he was, came blustering in.

[minty-mumbles]

Linked Universe Survey 2023

The long awaited results of the survey. Sorry it took me forever, making graphs is hard.

There were 452 responses to the survey as a whole, which is almost double what we got last year, so thank you to everyone who participated!

If you want to see the raw data, you can find that here. I had thoughts about the data, but compiling that into another post would be too much of a hassle. Feel free to send me asks about it though!

The rest of the post will be under a read more as it it large

Demographics

Other: Demigirl (4), Transmasc (3), Grey genderfluid, Unlabeled, Demiboy, Demiagender

Other: Omnisexual (4), Poly (2), Trixic, Abroromantic or Bellusromantic, Demisexual

General Questions

Other: Quotev, Discord, their own google docs

Other: Discord, Variations of "I haven't posted yet, but I pan to" and "I haven't posted my fics in ages",

Other: Wattpad, Deviantart, Discord

Other: Crochet dolls, Custom dolls, Roleplay blogs (2), Fan translations, Headcanons (2), Piano music

The purple section in the “Warriors vs Warrior” chart is supposed to read “Warrior.” I made a typo.

Favorites and Least Favorites

Selected Free Response Answers

im sorry warriors i just can't play your game (it is very very hard. i am stuck very early on in the game)

I love cats meow meow meow

was extremely tempted to put twilight for least favorite. unfortunately he is my favorite to write from the perspective of (he has taken over most of my wips. help) and that probably counts for something. WILD on the other hand. hooo boy how the hell do i characterize this gargoyle. why is he Like That. least favorite it is

Twiddy

very good fandom to be in :) everybody is very nice

It's a straight up crime that Wars lost the aesthetics poll so quickly. He has such a peak Link design with the best colors. Ugh I'm getting wistful.

FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS.

I will fight Hylia herself and the next person who implies Twi can't handle spice. If we're going to lean into him being southern/Midwestern, which is an alright stero type for our rancher, please keep in mind the culture you're basing him off. The south and midwest can handle their spice, I assure you. Have you ever had authentic Louisiana gumbo? It will melt you tongue off. Or some good old fashion spicy fried chicken? I promise the real stuff has quite a kick. (In all seriousness, though. It's more important that you're having fun. And even I can admit the idea of Twi being an Ordonian who can't handle his spice is more than a little funny.)

I am an OoT Link edgelord and have been since early 2017. So, in September of that year, when an artist by the name of jojo56830 puts out a lineup of nine different Links and the Hero of Time is there – the oldest, no eye, Hero’s Shade armor? I saw that one sketch and just thought “oh this is gonna be bad.” Yeah of course he has the coolest design. By the way, it’s only a matter of time until Fierce Deity shows up in the comic and I have reason to believe it could be this current Dawn arc. Dawn … Dawn of a New Day … and who brought about the Dawn of a New Day? Fierce Deity. Twilight is recovering but still injured and what will happen if he falls again? Fierce Deity is coming and we need to be prepared. In this essay I will—

Remember that time when someone put the whole script of the bee movie in here? I’m not that dedicated, and I don’t have that time, but let us remember and hope someone else does it again this time. Cause someone is bound too. We’re all crazy enough to do it. Alright, love you and stay hydrated pls!

Hi! I joined this fandom really recent but i’ve always seen LU stuff on pinterest and elsewhere. Only recently have i actually took the time to understand the fandom and get back into LOZ stuff and i adore the characters and story! The more and more fanart, fanfics, and comics i see about the different Links the more i love them all. It’s such a pain to pick just one i like or one i don’t like because they’re all so unique. I love this fandom and hope to get more involved!! Have a wonderful rest of your day :]

Epona is an underrated queen

your mom

I really don't get why Zelda is called Artemis. Athena makes more sense???? It perplexes me

Anyone seeing this should check out Breanna’s E!Wild AU

Something something queer every Link into oblivion!

[unholyverse]

awtto toronto is my ryden seattle: a rambling

yeah yeah ik ryden seattle has been debunked but this is similar enough to that and seems more plausible so. bear with me here. thanks to my good friend @filthyjanuary for actually watching all of this go down and having pics so i can be insane about it and write stuff like this lol.

also disclaimer before anyone tries calling me out. i don't actually know anyone in the band and this is all speculation for the sake of good ol fashioned real person fiction meaning don't take this too seriously and don't show this to the band or anyone connected to them. cool? cool.

night one: september 4, 2022

waterparks were on their final opening spots (if you don't count la night 4) of their leg of mcr's return tour in toronto at scotiabank arena.

this was already a strenuous tour despite the short length because not only would this mark parx's first time playing arenas, but it directly followed their run on the sad summer tour that year, putting some extra strain on them. in some of my mutuals' words, awsten was annoying and sounded like shit.

up to this point, waterparks had been doing free meet & greets after shows. however, this would be the only show (besides la) they would not do m&g because awsten posted this on his story at roughly 11:21 pm.

however, he was seen leaving the venue with otto roughly around 10:50 pm. a fan had caught them outside the venue by the buses and tweeted about the experience.

(note: the tweet embeds have timestamps in UTC; these tweets were posted on the 4th at 10-11pm EST and the UTC version is equivalent to that)

not anything too weird. they just left the set earlier than the rest of the band and crew since awsten was feeling out of it; lucas and geoff were seen leaving during the last song anyway.

the weird stuff starts with the fact that otto flooded the showers backstage (audio taken from this interview).

otto estimates that around 2:00 am, he was scrambling to find custodial staff to help him clean up his shower mess (literally a situation only he of all people would get in lol).

weird though, right? if otto was so concerned with cleaning up that mess, why would he leave with awsten long before he even tried? and even then, why would otto leave the set of his favorite band ever to go with awsten?

also let's shift to the day after: supposedly an anon of mine had met awsten in a starbucks the next day and said he was wearing the same clothes he had wore onstage on the 4th.

they also said he smelled good but he always does

this would align with a couple of things i already thought were likely. there are a couple of starbucks locations in the area, but if awsten and otto had walked out on their own instead of with the crew, they were likely within a short distance of the arena to do so. as you can see there is not only a hotel within walking distance of the arena, but there is also a starbucks within the vicinity of the hotel.

there's no proper way to put this and this is just rpf madness anyway but my theory is: they were sucking and fucking that night and awsten was tired enough after he slept in his stage clothes and sprayed a bunch of cologne on him for his coffee run the next day. end of story.

night two: september 5, 2022

this show would mark parx's last opening slot for mcr before la night 4. my friend said awsten sounded better that night. can you sound better a night after getting dicked down? who knows that's an answer for science.

also after their set, parx were caught watching the show on the floor and awsten was sitting down with otto's hand on his shoulder and it was very cute.

anyway, parx were able to do once final free m&g that night. one thing to note though was otto and awsten's change of clothes between their set and the m&g.

(terrible cropping and sorry to the fan i cropped out)

as you can (kinda) see, awsten is wearing a red tank top and otto is wearing a yellow shirt during the show. however, once their set was over, awsten and otto decided to wear matching mcr merch (and not tell geoff because he's still wearing the same shirt from onstage).

what would make these two do this who knows. they're no strangers to sharing or matching clothes anyway but it is sorta funny to me how they're matching like a couple and leaving their own bandmate to third wheel that lol.

was something in the air between awsten and otto in toronto? maybe, but it's not like we'll ever know. i can only imagine what they could've done.....

[ask-the-critters-survival-au]

So anybody feeling rather nosy today?

Well I finished Kickin’s entire diary a few weeks ago, and since Hoppy never really got the chance to read the entire thing, I thought I’d share it here!

Please note, on the following dates

November 4, 1997

March 10, 1998

September 4, 1998

Kickin does write down some s*icidal thoughts, that may be triggering to some people. I’d advise you to skip past those if they are triggering for you. I’ll mark them with bold text so you know.

Diary is under the cut! Have fun snooping!

August 26, 1995

I found this notebook by one of the kids’ beds. He didn’t use it at all so I figured it was alright to take it! Not that he is here to stop me anyways. I decided to start writing stuff in here! Just whatever I’m thinking, whenever I feel like it, I guess. Whenever I feel like it. God, that is a WEIRD sentence to say. Or write. But it’s true! It’s my life now! Whenever I feel like it! No more stupid employees here! Haha, get wrecked! Losers. Oh, Hoppy’s calling me. I’m gonna go! I’ll write in you again later! I promise! Wait, why am I promising a notebook that I’ll do something?

October 2, 1995

Okay so I kinda forgot about this thing. Oops! Anyways, I’m getting bored. The soccer ball is starting to deflate and we can’t find the pump. This SUCKS dude. Like, I get the prototype is busy doing whatever, but if he’s all powerful like he says can’t he give us some entertainment around here? Like sheesh! There’s nothing to do. I’m so bored.

October 16, 1995

I’m thinking of growing my hair out. I mean, Crafty is doing it! And it’s getting annoying constantly cutting it. It grows back really fast. Maybe I’ll go for a mullet type look! Just maybe though.

October 29, 1995

DogDay’s missing. We don’t know where he went. We tried searching for him but CatNap told us not to. It’s always what CatNap says. Stupid. I’m going to keep looking anyways. I’m gonna find him.

October 30, 1995

Never mind.

January 1, 1996

Hey, new year! It kinda sucks though. We did absolutely nothing to celebrate. Also, big problem. Bobby found out about my secret crush. Oh I hope nobody ever reads this thing. Don’t tell anybody, but I think I like-like Hoppy. She’s just so cute and pretty and funny and spunky and cool and I love it when she talks about outer space it’s so interesting!!! She’s so fast too, like crazy fast! I think she’s too fast though. She beats me at literally EVERYTHING. That’s okay though! I’m gonna keep getting better until I can win! But yeah. Bobby found out. I’m terrified for my life.

January 23 1996

So we’re starting to run out of food. Catnap said to trust in the prototype and that he’s gonna save us and stuff. I call bull. We need food, not a savior! But he said the prototype has a plan, so I guess we’ll be fine. Still though, I’m getting tired of eating moldy salami.

February 6, 1996

Crafty’s starting to lose it. She started nagging me nonstop because she keeps running out of red marker. I’m gonna avoid her from now on. Her drawings are getting weird. Really weird. Like borderline creepy stuff. She’s going bonkers man, I’m telling you.

May 16, 1996

We ran out of food. Woke up this morning to Picky scoring through the rest of our god damn supply. I swear I am going to SCREAM DUDE!! So what if she’s always hungry?! She’s not the only one who needs food to survive! Unbelievable. What the hell are we going to do now?

May 17, 1996

So that was CatNap’s back up plan. Oh my god. I don’t want to even think about what I’ve done today. I recognized him. Who I ate. He was there when I first woke up. Taking notes in the corner of the room on his clipboard. I feel sick to my stomach. How long are we going to have to do this for?

June 2, 1996

Today feels special. I don’t know why. It just does. Also I’m sorry I haven’t been writing in you as much. I’m just scared of getting caught writing in this thing. What if someone reads it? What if CatNap reads it? Will he get mad at me for what I wrote a few months ago about the prototype? Maybe I should erase it. No I can’t do that, I wrote it in marker. I’m going to keep this thing hidden inside my zipper pocket for now, until I find a better spot.

July 22, 1996

There was a freaking execution today. I’m so disturbed right now. It was one of the tiny DogDays. I’m not really sure what he did, but CatNap made us all watch as he ripped the poor guy apart. He said that’s what happens if you are a heretic. That’s what happens if you speak out even the slightest against the prototype. Bubba told me that he thought one of the other minis had tattled to CatNap about what that tiny DogDay did. That’s insane. I can’t imagine any of my friends doing that to me. Would they do that to me? No, I’m being an idiot. They’d never do that. Regardless I can’t let him find this thing. I don’t want to end up like that mini.

August 8, 1996

It’s officially been a full year since the Hour of Joy. It’s weird to think about. How many full humans have I eaten by now? Maybe eight? Ten? Twelve? Twenty? I lose count. I don’t feel anything when I eat them anymore. It’s easier to imagine them without faces. I always cut off the head so I don’t have to see it. On the bright side, we finally found the pump for the soccer ball. Hoppy and I can finally start playing again. I don’t really think either of us want to though. At least not right now.

September 12, 1996

Hoppy and I had another fight today. I’m writing in this thing because Bobby made us separate. I don’t like being mad at her. I want to apologize but I’m scared to approach her right now. I miss DogDay. I don’t write about him much but I miss him. His name is kind of forbidden to even speak nowadays. Picky thinks he abandoned us. I don’t think he did. He’d never do that. But if he did I want him to come back. Everything’s falling apart without him.

January 12, 1997

I’m sorry it’s been awhile. I don’t really know what to write about today though so I’m gonna end it off here.

February 7, 1997

Sometimes I wonder if I should name this journal something. But I’m not very creative when it comes to names. Crafty is though. She’s been really different lately though. She’s gotten really cheerful for some reason. But say the wrong thing and suddenly you’re on the ground. I’m scared of her. I don’t know what’s going on with her but if she doesn’t get that fixed soon she’s going to get herself killed. Or kill someone else. Either of the two. Maybe even both.

April 25, 1997

Nothing to write about today. I’m just not going to. I don’t feel like it. My hand hurts. I think I’m gonna go back to sleep.

June 2, 1997

It’s the weird day again. The one that feels like it should be special. I don’t know what that feeling is. I asked Bubba about it. He knows a lot, I thought he’d probably know that too. He didn’t though. He said he got that feeling too, sometimes. But neither of us knew why.

June 19, 1997

We ran out of food. I didn’t even know that was possible. There were so many humans working in this factory, how did we run out of them? The entire Playcare was in panic today. CatNap calmed us all down. He said not to worry, because the prototype always has a plan. Okay. If the prototype always has a plan, what is it? Because I’m tired of this whole stupid mess! I want to know what it is! Why can’t I know what it is? This is so dumb! The prototype is so dumb! It makes me want to tear all my feathers out!!!!

September 19, 1997

IM SO HUNGRY SO HUNGRY SO HUNGRY SO HUNGRY I DONT KNOW WHAT TO EAT THERES NOTHING I HAVENT EATEN IN SO LONG I NEED FOOD I NEED FOOD. IM HAVING THESE SCARY THOUGHTS NOW I WANT THEM GONE! I DONT WANT TO HURT ANYONE BUT I NEED TO EAT I NEED TO EAT I NEED TO

September 19, 1997

I did it. I needed to eat. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Picky told us how to find food. There’s plenty of it in the Playhouse. Like livestock, just waiting to be slaughtered. CatNap was so mad. But we have food now. And we all know he’s been eating them too. I feel like a monster. They were like us. But Bubba told me it was necessary. We were all going to die if we didn’t. I’m still sorry though.

November 4, 1997

Bubba got gassed. Badly. I’m so worried about him. We don’t even know why, we just walked in the room and there he was, laying on the ground with scratch marks all over him. How could CatNap have done such a thing? He’s sick. Just sick. I’ve been taking care of him now. I don’t want to leave his side. I’m worried that if I leave for a moment that something will happen to him. Hoppy’s been making me stay active. Sometimes she’s the only reason I keep going on. It’d be so easy just to end it all. She’s there for me though. I love her. God, I love her. I never want anything to happen to her. But I know something’s going to happen to her. That something’s going to happen to all of us eventually. When it happens to her though, it’s gonna happen to me next. I promise it will.

November 14, 1997

I found a boombox today. It’s really cool. I’ve been playing it for Bubba recently. He’s still asleep. I hope he wakes up soon. Did I ever mention in here that I like to dance? It’s really fun. It makes me forget about everything that happened. I lose myself in the movements. I don’t really even know how I know how to dance. I never learned it as a toy. I think I’m gonna go do it now though.

December 3, 1997

THAT JERK! THAT HORRIBLE STUPID DISGUSTING DUMB JERK! I HATE HER! I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER! HOW DARE SHE DO THAT TO BUBBA?? WHEN HAS HE EVER BEEN ANYTHING BUT NICE TO HER???? BUT NOOOOO, I GUESS KINDNESS MEANS NOTHING IN THE EYES OF PICKY PIGGY! ALL SHE CARES ABOUT IS HERSELF AND HER APPETITE! I WOULDVE RIPPED OFF SOOO MUCH MORE THAN HER EAR IF I COULD! BUT THEN HOPPY AND BOBBY HAD TO COME IN AND RESTRAIN ME! STUPID! STUPID STUPID STUPID! IM GOING TO KILL HER WHEN I GET THE CHANCE! AND ITS GOING TO BE SLOW AND BRUTAL AND ITS GOING TO HURT!

January 1, 1998

Yay. New year. Yippee.

March 4, 1998

Something bad happened today. I knew it would happen eventually. I think we all did. Crafty finally lost it on the wrong person. She attacked CatNap and then he ripped off her hands as punishment. I could hear every. Single. Agonizing second of her screams. I thought I was used to screaming by now. I guess I was just telling myself that. I hope she survives. That was a lot of blood.

March 6, 1998

What do I do. What do I do. What do I do. Hoppy’s leaving. She just told me she is. Hoppy, Bobby and Crafty are leaving Playcare in a week. They can’t leave. They can’t. CatNap’s going to kill them. He’s going to kill them brutally. And even if he doesn’t, who knows what’s outside of Playcare? Plenty of toys who would be willing to hurt them for food. Hoppy told me to come with them. I can’t go with them. I don’t want to die. But I don’t want them to die. They can’t leave. I don’t want them to leave. But I can’t change Hoppy’s mind. She’s leaving with or without me. How could she do that to me? Just leave me here, all alone with Picky? Bubba’s still asleep. She’s the only one I’ll have to talk to. I don’t want to talk to her. I’m scared. I need to stop them.

March 8, 1998

what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done

March 9, 1998

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so so sorry. I messed up I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry please forgive me. I keep seeing her. She talks to me in my head now, telling me she won’t ever forgive me, no matter how much I grovel and beg. Sometimes I don’t even think it’s in my head. Am I going insane? You don’t deserve to stay sane. You’re right. I don’t. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.

March 10, 1998

The blood won’t come off. It stained my hands. Maybe I deserve that. You do deserve that. You’re right. You’re always right. I deserve it. I haven’t moved from my bed since it happened. I’m hungry but I don’t want to eat. I don’t deserve to eat. Bubba needs me though. At least if Picky tries eating him again there’s nobody to stop me from making her pay this time. I don’t know why I don’t just give up. I should. I made a promise that I would once Hoppy went. Maybe it’s Bubba. Or maybe I’m just making excuses. Maybe I’m just too scared. I’ve never felt so alone before. I deserve to feel alone.

March 24, 1998

I’ve been seeing her a lot lately in my dreams. Always the screaming and then the ear. And then she tells me it’s my fault. I know it’s my fault. But I still don’t understand. Am I selfish for not understanding? Yeah. Probably. But all I ever wanted to do was protect her. I don’t understand why this happened. I don’t understand. Picky’s been avoiding me. That’s fine. I don’t want to see her either.

April 12, 1998

You know what? No. I’m done. I don’t care if CatNap catches me going into the Playhouse. I need to see what’s inside. Maybe she’s inside, and that’s why we aren’t allowed in. I’m going to find her. I’m going to make things right with her. I refuse to believe she’s gone.

July 16, 1998

July. It’s already July. I took that long to recover? Seriously? That was three whole months. Well, I guess loosing an eye will do that to you. I’m still surprised that Picky took care of me while I was hurt. I tried to ask her why but she didn’t respond, so I guess that was that. That doesn’t matter though. He’s alive. He’s alive. DogDay’s alive! He’s been here this entire time, sitting right below our noses and we had no clue! If I can just figure out a way to get him out then he can save us all from this mess! I know he can! I just need to find a way.

July 20, 1998

Bubba woke up. He finally woke up! Oh my god, he finally woke up! It’s been how long, eight months? I’m so thankful. He’s really scared though. He must’ve been through hell. I know from experience the nightmares that stuff gives you aren’t pleasant. I can’t imagine going through that for a whole year. Poor guy.

July 21, 1998

Bubba’s been having trouble walking lately. His legs give out whenever he tries. I guess that makes sense. He hasn’t used his legs in a while. I wish I knew how to give him the proper treatment he needs. Actually, there’s an idea. I should check inside of the school. I’m sure there is something in there about comas.

July 22, 1998

OKAY SO THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA. Not only did I find absolutely NOTHING, but I almost got my head bashed in with a freaking mace! That biology teacher has gone wack. Completely wack. Then again, she’s not the only one. I still hear Hoppy. She still visits me. I’ll be in the middle of something and then I’ll just see her. I think I’m starting to hallucinate. I know that’s really bad. But I enjoy seeing her. Even if all she does is cuss me out. It gives me hope. Hope that she’s not Never mind. I shouldn’t be thinking about that. Bury that nice and deep along with the other scary thoughts. She’s not dead. She’s not dead she’s not dead she’s not dead she’s not dead.

August 8, 1998

Third year anniversary. Or is it the fourth? I don’t feel like doing the math. Bubba can walk again now, but all he does is sit against a wall. It feels like my effort was wasted, if I’m honest. He doesn’t like eating. Or sleeping. He hates sleeping. I tried to give him some books to read that I stole from the councilors office, but he ignored them. Some days he refuses to sleep so badly to the point where I have to knock him out for him to get a little shut eye. I feel bad for him. He doesn’t deserve this. If I could take his place I would in a heartbeat. Maybe if it was me instead of him I wouldn’t have messed up so horribly.

September 4, 1998

It’s one of those days where the hallucinations are bad again. Sometimes I wonder if it even is a hallucination. Am I actually seeing her? She’s looking over my shoulder right now. Watching me write. She looks so real. And the stuff she says feels so real. I want her to be real. I want to hold her in my arms. She just told me if I ever try to do that she’s going to push me off the cloud I’m on. I think she knows I wouldn’t save myself.

September 18, 1998

Bubba’s been getting better. He’s started talking again. Only sometimes though. And he never says much. It’s a start though.

November 10, 1998

I think I just saw Picky chasing Hoppy away from the councilors office. I must’ve just been hallucinating again. She was carrying something though. It looked like a computer? I’ve never seen that before. Probably just another hallucination.

[ducktracy]

How did you became a fan of looney tunes, particularly the porky and daffy shorts?

SO! THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ASK because i get asked this a lot (and have talked about it pretty frequently lately), and i feel every time i answer i have 80 explanations. all of them are true! but i kinda want a repository so i can reference back to my thoughts if and when the question comes up, because i love talking about it. saying this now because usually when i intend to answer an ask quickly, that's never how it goes.

TLDR for both is: i was bored one day, saw Boomerang was airing the shorts, remembered hearing good things about the shorts and was immediately swept away. a series of rabbit holes clinched my obsession. as for Daffy and Porky, i find them intensely interesting and they're also some of the most i've ever found myself reflected in a fictional character, Daffy especially.

NOW THE LONGER ANSWERS!

SO. as i mentioned above, there's about 80 different explanations i could give for what got me into Looney Tunes. (this is not true and heavy hyperbole, but it is true that my interest was clinched in a number of ways). the most objective of those is that, i was very curious about learning the history and production of cartoons, especially because i had aspirations of making my own cartoons one day and working in the industry. at the time, there was (and still kind of is...) a popular animation blog by a, uh, let's say disgraced cartoonist. said disgraced cartoonist had a blog where he would discuss animation technique, history, and in spite of knowing he was disgraced and very publicly disavowing him to the point of overcompensation, i drank the Kool-Aid and fell into the trap of reading his blog pretty religiously and absorbing a bunch of information that i have now spent years unlearning and have no interest in returning to.

BUT ANYWAY. said cartoonist's blog discussed LT quite often as a pinnacle of great cartooning. i never actually went out of my way to check out any of the shorts mentioned--it was just sort of an understanding of "oh wow, these are important. got it." and not putting the research in

come September 2019 (the 13th to be exact because i'm neurotic and memorize dates). i'm home alone for the weekend and bored out of my mind. channel surf. see Boomerang is showing LT shorts. think, "hey, i've spent years reading about how good this stuff is, i didn't watch it very often as a kid, let's see if the rumors about this being good are true." AND THEY WERE! the first short i saw was Bob McKimson's Upswept Hare which is actually not one i go out of my way to watch often, it's whatever, but i thought it was amazing that i was able to watch cartoons from 1953 on my TV. even though my obsession with golden age cartoons is recent, i've had a lifelong nostalgia affliction--i've been interested in things that are old for as long as i can remember.

after that was Rabbit Transit which, wow, 1947?? that's even older! and even COOLER!!! and it's true! Friz Freleng's Bugs is now my favorite director's interpretation of the character. i was amazed at how funny it was, how fast everything was, how lush the music sounded and how intricate the animation was. i genuinely did not know animation could be that smooth and lush. it was seriously mind blowing. likewise, seeing these McKimson and Freleng Bugs shorts defied the notion i had for the longest time where i only thought Bugs was just a terminally bored beacon of invincibility, since those were the shorts i remembered most from my childhood. Rabbit Transit ends with Bugs being dragged away by cops kicking and screaming--i thought it was HILARIOUS and so different than what i was used to. i really wanted to see more Bugs Bunny and see how my notions of what he was continued to be challenged.

another short included in the line-up was A Pest in the House, which is one of the major dominos in this entire domino effect. i didn't watch very much LT as a kid (only just on DVDs during road trips, but i recall seeing a few on Cartoon Network or Boomerang at some point in my life), but i do recall having a particular dislike towards Daffy since he was mean. also, he was not a cute and cuddly cat and/or rabbit like Sylvester and Bugs, which did not appease my child mind, who loved cats and rabbits. (my childhood cat looked like Sylvester so i've always been fond of him, i do recall owning a Sylvester balloon on a stick at one point as a small child, so yay?)

needless to say, my hopes were not very high. Daffy Duck, who cares, whatever. so, of course, finding out that Daffy is small and cute here and acting amicably, smiling, and being obnoxious was VERY surprising and novel to me. the bit where he's cracking up and can't even tell the poor hotel patron a joke because he's too busy laughing and sobbing and screaming and then FORGETS IT was my canon event. my "oh god, i have never related more to anything than i do right now in this moment." (this is still true, as this exact thing happened to me on a Zoom call recently and i was literally sobbing cracking myself up at a stupid joke i thought of that literally isn't funny at all, and i kept thinking of that scene which just made me laugh harder).

that, in conjunction with this scene and how QUICKLY IT MOVED, how SMOOTHLY, how ENERGETIC the music is, the hilarity that is Elmer's "?" above his head... i HAD TO SEE MORE. i was so interested to learn that Daffy wasn't just a self-obsessed greedy miser all the time. i had no idea cartoons could move this way. you can time the action to the music?? that's GENIUS! so A Pest in the House was a very big break through moment for me and kickstarted my infatuation with Daffy Duck.

another breakthrough was watching Falling Hare for the first time thanks to Boomerang as well. it was the first Bob Clampett cartoon i saw as a cognizant adult, and i knew to look out for it because this disgraced cartoon creator certainly loved to make his bootlicking of Clampett very, very, very well known. i thought that it was amazing to be seeing a short from 1943 on TV!!! SO ANCIENT! so old! who knew they made cartoons that old! and, most importantly, who knew they made cartoons that old THAT MOVE AS GORGEOUSLY AS THEY DO HERE!!!! GEEEEEEZ, you wanna talk about never seeing cartoons move like that before... and not only that, i loved the humor, i loved the characterizations, i loved even the most hokey gags in it. i decided that to really jumpstart my interest in LT, rather than waiting around to catch Boomerang airings, i'd binge the entire Clampett chronology. i did indeed do this, and it wasn't until i got to around 1942 or so that i finally began to branch out and watch other directors

THERE ARE STILL MORE BRANCHES TO THE STORY! SOMEHOW! while i wasn't much of a LT fan before this, i WAS a Tom and Jerry fan. was a very big fan as a kid. i didn't go out and watch the shorts as an adult, but i did listen to the soundtracks. i recall listening to one of the soundtracks, and a comment on it talked about comparisons between Scott Bradley, who did the MGM scores, and Carl Stalling, who did WB's. i was like "huh, wonder who this Stalling fella is" and looked up one of his music compilations. found one from the '30s, went "there's such a thing as Depression-era music scores??" and listened to it.

one of the comments on that video gave a timestamp and mentioned a Porky's Romance. i went to the timestamp, listened to the song, and thought it was one of the most beautiful things i had heard in my life. i still have a screen recording saved in my camera roll from when i first listened to it. i thought, this is so gorgeous, i have to see what cartoon this is from.

and lo and behold, the cartoon about Porky Pig offing himself because he got rejected in his marriage proposal was the first Porky short i saw as an adult. similar to my Bugs and Daffy revelations, there were SO many things that intrigued me. largely: I HAD NO IDEA THEY MADE THE CARTOONS IN BLACK AND WHITE! seeing these beloved cartoon characters in black and white was the coolest thing to me! i had to learn more! likewise, i never knew that Porky was fat! or that these shorts would deal with such dark subject matter! or that they could be so representative of their time with the music styling and background design!

SO, all of these sort of culminated together. i wanted to see more LT, i wanted to see more cartoons that challenged my perception of them. i wanted to see more old things. shocking things. beautiful things. my main path into LT was binging a bunch of the Bob Clampett cartoons, which coincided with my interest in seeing more Porky shorts and more black and white shorts since the first 4 years of his career were nothing BUT black and white Porky cartoons. i also recall checking out Porky's Duck Hunt around the same time i watched Romance for the first time, but i'm not sure why. i think i was reading up on the Wikipedia article for A Pest in the House, learned that Daffy used to be crazy, and wanted to see it for myself. i also fell in love with the novelty of seeing him HOOHOO and jump around and act a fool, as well as the very present 30s-isms in that short.

i began to branch out to other directors, a lot of my introductions boiling down to "i saw this on Google and it looked interesting" (i know that's how i discovered Yankee Doodle Daffy). there was a period in early October 2019 where i was beginning to lose a little interest and fixating on other shows instead, but i watched Porky in Wackyland for the first time and, well, HERE I YAM! likewise, seeing praise about Baby Bottleneck and The Great Piggy Bank Robbery got me to jump ahead in my self imposed Clampett chronology and watch those for the first time (October 18th, 2019, a day that will forever live in infamy). needless to say, it was one of the smartest decisions of my life since those are two of my favorite cartoons of all time. Baby Bottleneck impressed me so much that it literally gave me heart palpitations SO SEVERE i genuinely considered calling my parents to tell them i might need to go to the hospital. i seriously thought i was having a heart attack. no cartoon has ever made me feel like that since. that was a defining "i need to do this" moment for me. again, i reiterate, talk about not knowing the possibilities of how animation could move.

and from thereon out, i continued to go on my little rabbit holes. i started my reviews in December 2019 as an excuse to motivate myself to see every Looney Tunes cartoon ever made (which is a mission i completed on December 31st, 2022.) i've seen and even own some of the animation art from the cartoons themselves in person, i've had relatives of the directors praise my work, i can directly owe my job to LT (and am known as the LT person--specifically, the pig and duck person--by my bosses, coworkers, and peers), i've received job offers from Warner Bros... all because i got bored one day and decided to channel surf.

it's been nearly 5 years now. September 2019, i was in a very low point in my life. i was recovering from a very messy and rather traumatic break-up, there was some related drama affecting my friendships, i had just started college and was missing all the friends and relationships i'd built in high school, and i was really grappling with my mental health as a result. this introduction couldn't have come at a perfect time. i went from being despondent and listless and depressed to actively looking forward to waking up and discovering a new cartoon to watch because it meant i'd learn something new. i really look back on that time fondly. i cringe at a lot of what i was saying and doing back then, as i've learned so much more and matured a lot since then, but i'm still so lucky to have had that time in my life. and even though i'm 5 years in, and even though i've calmed down in a lot of aspects, that excitement never really goes away and i don't forsee it doing so. i can tell this is going to be a lifelong fixture for me. i don't have any doubt about it. calling it a "hyperfixation" or "interest" seems to temporary and diminutive; too many areas of my life have been affected by it and it's really just ingrained in me now, and will continue to do so. i'm so lucky for that.

SO! TO GET COMPARATIVELY LESS PHILOSOPHICAL BUT STILL RELEVANTLY SO, answering your question about Daffy and Porky specifically

as i talked about above, much of my investment in them comes from really identifying with the both of them. Daffy a bit moreso, but certainly Porky as well. i find myself in Daffy's exuberance, passion, impulsiveness, his emotionality, his... shall we say "neuroticisms", always living life at a high frequency, being a very all or nothing person, his often fleeting attention span and endeavors, his obnoxiousness, good humor, his charisma (this feels so conceited of me to say but i've had multiple people told me i'm charismatic--i don't entirely believe so but i think it is worth bringing up, if nothing else), his at-times overly trusting demeanor. all of these descriptions are more in line with the 40s Daffy rather than the Daffy most folks know, though there is some overlap and i can't say there aren't some traits of the later Daffy i don't see myself in either. namely impulsiveness, a tendency to be a bit overbearing, etc... that's why i can relate so much to him, because he's not just a character who i relate to for positives.

Porky, i can relate a lot to his idiosyncrasies, his stubbornness, his obliviousness, a general awkwardness, [usually] good heart, innocence, occasionally hare trigger temper (i do not consider myself an angry person thank goodness and i'd definitely consider myself more optimistic than most, but if i am mad i am very mad and have a very hard time concealing it), which leads me to my next point in also being pretty transparent, a little bit of a stutter, and so forth

me being able to relate to the both of them certainly does help in pushing them up the ranks, but my enjoyment doesn't hinge on that because i'm thankfully able to see them as their own characters (and i think if i just saw them as reflections of Me the whole time, it'd be a bit uncomfortable). that's the biggest draw: their dynamic is so intensely interesting to me and unlike anything else offered by any of the other characters in the cartoons.

i'm mostly interested in the cartoons and the people behind the scenes rather than the characters, which is funny to say since character and characterization is super important to me. maybe this'll change! but as of right now, i don't really care to think up any headcanons for The Tasmanian Devil or Pepe le Pew or what have you. i'm namely interested in the characters if it directly relates to their context with their creators. i was just saying the other day that i tend to be averse to things that have the LT cast in a big ensemble, even if you remove the "oh they're a happy family" aspect from it. i worded it more succinctly here:

Daffy and Porky are the only real exceptions to this, and it's likewise because they're some of the only characters who weren't bound to a certain director. Tex Avery only ever directed 3 Daffy cartoons, and Friz Freleng, as much as i love the Porkys he did direct and wish he did more, didn't seem very interested in pursuing Porky the same as he did with his other characters like Yosemite Sam or Sylvester (both of whom being some of my favorites, Sylvester ranks behind Daffy and Porky for me in terms of favorites. amazing character.) this likewise offers them a lot of freedom, as they're subject to more interpretation by more directors

their dynamic is the most varied out of any, and i love that. some shorts they're roommates and work together. others, they want each other's blood. my favorite is a good blend of both. but, no matter what dynamic they're in, they still feel like Daffy and Porky. they're flexible and malleable but not completely lost in who they are. i've expressed many times that they're the only two characters who can have a genuine sort of camaraderie between them in the shorts where they do and have it feel natural rather than "get a load of these guys teaming up!". in my eyes, they have the best chemistry, they play off of each other so well. my favorite Porky shorts and my favorite Daffy shorts are always the ones where they're with the other. there are genuinely no Porky and Daffy shorts i dislike outside of the sadly usual "this is racist garbage", but thankfully that's only limited to a very select handful.

much of it likewise comes down to novelty. when i first began getting into their shorts, i was AMAZED that i had never heard anyone talk about their dynamic before. granted, i probably wasn't looking, but all my life it's always been Bugs and Daffy Bugs and Daffy Bugs and Daffy--i still, maybe selfishly, think the Porky and Daffy shorts are 50x more interesting and fun to watch and it was just MINDBLOWING to me how i'd never seen anyone bring this up! how is nobody talking about how varied their dynamic is? why is nobody talking about how well they play off each other here? why is nobody talking about how funny this is? it's a feeling of sort of stumbling into a hidden diamond mind. i really like that feeling. it's why the '30s and '40s shorts are my preferred favorites; they're less talked about, which means i have more room to shill them and maybe give someone the same reaction it's given me. i love that aspect of exploration.

i've been typing this out for nearly 1 hour and 25 minutes straight, and so my steam is finally beginning to run out. there's more i could say on just how much Porky and Daffy mean to me, but that's the general jist. i identify with them both a lot, i sincerely love their chemistry, i think they're one of the most interesting cartoon duos of all time, i want more people to discover them, and i just love watching them. Mel Blanc's Daffy voice is one of the most beautiful sounds i've ever heard and i'm not even exaggerating. i have so much fun picking apart Porky's stutter and seeing how it varies depending on the voice directing, and i love catching certain stutters that Mel Blanc does that feel very true to life/like something i've heard out of my own mouth before. i love how they have a bit of an underrepresented past (Porky moreso; i've really fallen in love with the Joe Dougherty era shorts). they're just so interesting and offer so much, no matter what your interest is.

WOW. this may have been the lengthiest ask i've ever answered. but, ye ask and ye shall receive, so i hope ye received!

[rainyarcades]

GGY headcanons because I've been thinking a little...

==

Greg met Tony and Ellis in September, right at the start of the school year. He was alone and didn't know where to go, but Tony was there like, "Hey, this new kid's lonely. I think we should check on him."

Tony is nice, but also nosy. He likes knowing people, inside and out

Tony finds new kids especially interesting. There's usually more to them being there than others, who just go to the school because they live nearby or thought it was a good school.

This kid, their family, moved here for a reason... Why?

Hurricane doesn't have anything much going for it. While yes, it's the birthplace of Fazbear Entertainment and has the very first, original Pizzaplex, people don't usually move to the town just for that. Parents wouldn't usually do that.

So there's a story there! Everyone has a story.

As for why Gregory's parents moved at all... He has well-off parents who wanted to work with Fazbear Entertainment. Huge economic opportunity. So they moved in from Salt Lake City, you go to Hurricane now my boy

The whole reason Gregory gets glitchtrapped is because of his parents. Karma got them in the end ig....

Gregory is a good friend to both Ellis and Tony. They click immediately, like they've known Greg for years. They know his full name, but Gregory never really went by it back then, sticking with simply Greg (he would've went by 'Gregory' in SB because he forgot he even had that nickname at all.... and while in and out of consciousness before that, even. So Cassie only ever knew him as Gregory)

Rab wasn't around the whole time, lucky for Gregory. He got to know the duo for a few months before that, got close, and clicked super well with them. So he did have a close connection with them before things went wrong, unlike Cassie who he would've gotten less connection with since he didn't really know her (and when he'd met her, he'd just broken free of being controlled for a few hours, with no memory of any events).

Summer came, and Gregory got to test a Freddy's VR game bc of his parents. He would've begged them too, "It's the least you can do for me. You guys don't spend any time with me! Let me come with you to the company building and test the game, pleaseee?"

Something went wrong at the target audience testing. One of the QA testers kept watching him, a blonde woman with green eyes... She was odd, but Gregory brushed the thought away.

That was, until a sharp migraine hit his head, and everything started to go fuzzy from there.

School came back around in September, and GGY happened. Greg acted slightly differently after summer, but it was probably just normal stuff. Right? It's not like there were any stark differences in personality. That's what Tony thought at least, until he dug too deep and... yeah.

To Ellis, his two best friends just went missing. That's all there was, forever, and he just had to deal with that. They were never coming back.

As for Tony, he'd haunt Greg and probably can't quite believe there's life after death

Gregory, at this point, he doesn't remember. So shit falls off shelves, and he hears his name whispered, and he's like, 'huh. must've been the wind... unless, maybe Vanessa's grandma is here? omg Ness, holy shit come here. I think your grandma's ghost is here??"

But it'd get serious when he finds out the truth. When he realises. When he starts getting hurt by this ghost. He tries to communicate (since my Greg is a paranormal believer and Tony owned a DR60 recorder because of him, while Greg owns a REM-pod). Tony is always angry. He's always upset. Gregory finds himself permanently haunted by him.

Rab racked up a few bodies while he was controlling Gregory; therapists, Tony, his parents, and two random kids he didn't even know the name of. Vanny dealt with the rest. Those mostly went to the Tangle, though; Tony was the only one to have a close enough connection to get stuck attached to Greg.

==

That's all I really have rn, idk I wanted to post this somewhere sjhdjbrkfnfm I had thoughts. Many thoughts. I will continue to have thoughts.

[maccreadysbaby]

A Hundred Ways to Become a Wayne

batfamily + oc insert

tw: none

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

want to read the first fic in the hundred days series so you understand what’s going on here? here it is!

nico is not having a good time right now okay :(

part thirty-four

❝ WINDSTORM ❞

THURSDAY — SEPTEMBER 3 — 3:00AM

ELEVEN DAYS LATER, GOTHAM WAS ODDLY QUIET. Barbara and Alfred had been monitoring the Batcomputer. There had been no metahuman attacks in Batman’s absence, no gangs to bust or mobs to stop — it had all been reduced to petty crime the cops could handle all by themselves, which Bentley found both really strange and really lucky. No one had gone missing. The Secret Keeper hadn’t been seen.

Maybe Davis was able to talk her out of mind control? (Could that happen?) Or maybe he’d… y’know. Used his hands on her? Bentley wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, he was thankful for the momentary peace. (Even though it made him sort of worried about Davis.)

He’d been doing school online for a while now, as had Asten and Nico. None of them were thrilled to go back, especially since Dr. Keene was, according to the classwork and emails Bentley was getting, still working there. Damian had gone back a few days prior.

Nico was getting ahold of his powers; both of them. Sometimes he sent Asten and Bentley videos of him trying stuff out, like the fact that he was so fast he could run up walls and on the ceiling, or that he could do things without people seeing him. The abilities from Dr. Keene, as far as they’d figured out, were air-based. They were harder to get a handle on — he could make the wind blow, even inside (which mostly happened when he was upset) and he’d also taught himself how to make a little tornado in his hand. (Give the asthmatic air powers, haha, how funny, Keene.)

Asten was doing pretty okay, too. Bentley hadn’t heard of anything going on with him — no powers had surfaced, just like none had surfaced for Bentley. It made sense, since Nico was in the Synchronizer the longest. 

Bentley had gotten his sling off, and was regaining movement in his shot shoulder. He was (maybe) becoming less of an emotional trainwreck? He wasn’t sure — it was sometimes hard to tell the difference between feeling better and ignoring them.

Life was largely going back to normal; Tim had been better for about a week, and was eating a little more since they still weren’t patrolling, Bentley thought. They’d gone back to having dinner as a family in the dining room. It had taken some time, but Dick started to talk again; maybe not as much as he typically did, but talking. Jason didn’t stop having nightmares, but he stopped screaming about them so much, which Bentley assumed was good? Alfred got Bruce to sleep. Duke made a 1520 on his SAT. 

The only thing that was still sort of wrong — besides the entire empire Bentley had built out of lies — was Damian.

He still wasn’t really talking to anyone. He’d fallen into a repetitive, precise routine of school and life. Even Dick was getting the cold shoulder, and they were all pretty clueless as to why.

But Bruce was handling it. Everything would be fine — everything was going to go back to normal, just like Bentley hoped. It had to. Right?

And then came the fateful Thursday night.

Bentley was sound asleep, with two people by his side: the heaviest sleeper he’d ever met, and the lightest sleeper he’d ever met. (Aka, Dick Grayson, who could sleep through a hurricane, sprawled on the foot of the mattress, and Jason Todd, who could wake up from a fly sneeze, situated on the left side of Bentley’s bed.) Of course his phone had to start ringing when the clock struck 3:11am.

Jason stirred immediately, as did Bentley, who fumbled tiredly in the pitch black for at least ten seconds before he found the device on his nightstand. He recoiled when the bright screen hit him in the face, the caller ID reading: Nico.

With a few blinks to rid himself of fatigue and right his mind, Bentley put the phone to his ear and whispered: “Hello?”

“Bentley,” Nico’s voice came through. It was quiet, and sounded soft and thick, like maybe he was about to cry? “I need you.”

Bentley pushed himself up on his elbows. “What’s wrong?” Jason was almost immediately sitting up, watching him, listening.

“It’s Asten,” He replied. “He came to my house… what is today? Thursday? He came to my house on Saturday because he wasn’t feeling good, and Sam is out of town. My parents are in Morocco until Monday, but he said it wasn’t too bad, that he just needed someone to keep track of medicine times and stuff.”

Bentley glanced over, making brief and somewhat-disoriented-from-the-dark eye contact with Jason. Dick was still knocked out on the bottom of the bed.

“He’s so sick, Bentley, he can’t even get up. He’s barely eaten anything since he got here. I basically have to fight him to make him take medicine and drink water, and then he just throws it all up,” Nico explained, voice getting thicker as he spoke. “His fever is a hundred and four, and he isn’t making any sense, and I… I’ve been trying so hard, but I…” 

Bentley frowned deeply when Nico sniffled with a soft sob. “I can’t handle it. I don’t want to be alone. Every time he falls asleep I’m afraid he won't wake up.”

Bentley flinched a little when Jason’s hand landed on his arm. He met his blue eyes in the dark, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. “I’ll drive over there to get them. You stay and help Alfred get ready.”

Bentley didn’t have it in him to argue.

“Jasons going to come get you,” Bentley said into the phone, swinging his legs off of his bed. “It’ll be okay — just remember to breathe. Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

Nico sucked in a deep breath, and then let out a shuddery one. “No… it’s okay. I’ll have to get our stuff together.”

Bentley nodded as he flicked his lamp on. Jason was already out of the bed, muttering quietly to an only half-awake Dick. “Jason’ll be there in just a few minutes. Don’t worry.”

“Okay…” Nico muttered. “Okay. Um, actually, I do want you on the phone, just in case?”

“Okay,” Was Bentley’s response.

Now, Nico was famous for being a little bit dramatic every now and then, so Bentley wasn’t really sure what to expect. Not that he assumed Nico was lying, just that he may have been blowing it a little bit out of proportion.

So, after he’d helped prepare a guest room and collected several of the sickness supplies most recently used on Tim, he really hadn’t expected for Asten to look so… so…

Bad.

His heart fell into his toes when Jason, Asten, and Nico came through the front door. Jason was carrying Asten, who looked suddenly very, very small. He was paler than a sheet of paper and coated with a sheen of sweat, shivering despite wearing a large black hoodie and gray sweatpants. His expression was contorted into one of discomfort, eyes shut tightly, but he didn’t seem awake enough to comprehend anything. He seemed… out of it. Like Tim had been.

Nico was also in a state of distress. His blonde hair was a mess, and he was wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants that looked like they might’ve been newly stained. (Bentley didn’t want to know what it was.) The whites of his blue eyes were bloodshot, and his ears, nose, and cheeks were red and splotchy from lots of crying. He had two bags — his own school bag on his left shoulder, and Asten’s on his right. 

Bentley, who had been at the top of the stairs, thudded down to them. “The guest room next to yours is ready.” He said to Jason, who kept moving, heading up the stairs with a quiet thanks. 

When Nico made it within four feet of Bentley, he looked like he was going to cry again.

“Hey…” Bentley tried, grabbing Asten’s bag from Nico’s arms. For a split second, it looked like Nico might’ve tried to hug him, but he stopped himself at the last second and followed Jason up the stairs.

“Thank you,” Was his short reply, his voice thick and muffled just like it had been on the phone. He never looked at Bentley.

“You’re welcome,” The redhead replied, following behind him. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Define okay,” Nico muttered, shaking his head lightly. “Chances are, no. Not at all. But I’m not sick, if that’s what you meant.”

Bentley said nothing.

Bruce and Dick and Alfred were at the ready when they arrived — they had Asten situated in the guest bedroom and were checking things like his blood pressure and temperature before Bentley could even fully comprehend what was going on. He and Nico just put the bags in the bedroom floor and stood on the sidelines. Alfred suggested that Asten needed a drip. Jason ran and got it. Bruce called Nico’s parents. Dick got a cold washcloth and a puke bucket. Alfred kept asking Nico a bunch of detailed questions. Jason called Asten’s uncle. Dick checked Nico’s temperature. (It was fine.)

Everyone was moving and talking and doing things, and it was so chaotic that no one but Bentley really noticed when the wind started to blow inside the Manor.

He glanced over at Nico, who had taken up residence next to the open guest room door. He had his fists clenched really tightly by his sides, so tightly his knuckles were paling. His breathing was a ragged mess, and his eyes — his irises were white.

Oh no.

Bentley, who sent a panicked glance to the family members in the room (thankfully no one was looking at them), wasted no time whisking Nico into the hallway and shutting the door quietly behind them.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, he’s going to be okay,” Bentley tried. Nico started to pace as soon as they made it out of the room, the breeze following them as they moved. His hands — no, his whole body — seemed to be shaking vigorously, and he was starting to cry again. That type of crying where you can’t really breathe.

“I hate this,” He wept, seeming to purposefully position himself facing away from Bentley, a few paces in front of him, too. “I hate everything. I hate life.”

“Nico-“

“My parents don’t even try to talk to me anymore. Which I did to myself, I know, but it still hurts,” He explained, bringing his arms up to hide his face even though he was facing away. “I haven’t slept in three whole days trying to help Asten, but of course it isn’t working. Why would it? I can't keep up with everything that’s happening to me and I already need a refill on my inhaler which sucks because you’re only supposed to use one a year so now my parents think I need to go to therapy for my anxiety and… and I feel so terrible and sad and alone. I’m so lonely, Bentley. I’m not good at being alone.”

Bentley sighed lightly, empathy bubbling up inside of him. He knew so vividly what Nico was going through that it wasn’t even funny.

“You’re not alone,” Bentley said softly, daring to step closer, echoing what Jason told him in the library. The wind was whipping his hair and tugging at his clothes. “You have me.”

“Don’t get closer,” Nico turned and threw a hand out toward Bentley, hiccuping a spluttering pitifully. His irises were very white, glowing white even beneath all the tears. “I might hurt you. I… I can take the air out of your lungs without even meaning to. I’m dangerous. I can't let you near me.”

Bentley furrowed his brow. “Why not?”

“Because… if you hug me I’m gonna break. And if I break now I might… I might kill you. I might kill all of you. I can’t control this.”

As if on queue, the wind blew and howled down the hall so violently that Bentley literally stumbled from the force, catching himself only by thumping into the wall. (They were going to wake up the whole house.)

“I shouldn’t have come. I have to go,” Nico muttered, wiping at his eyes, then he turned on his heel and made for the stairs.

“Nico!” Bentley tried, following behind him despite the strong wind that was trying to push him the other way. “Please don’t leave. You said you’re not good at being alone, and now you’re going to go be alone?”

“I don’t want to be alone. I have to be alone so I don’t hurt you,” He hiccuped, thudding down the foyer stairs toward the door. Bentley paused momentarily when Nico’s feet, his shoes began to crackle with yellow lightning. Was he about to run?

“Please don’t leave,” Bentley tried again, following him down the staircase. “Please. It’ll be okay — you can control it. You’ll learn.”

“How many people will die before I get it? Eight? Ten? Fifty?” Nico whipped the front door open and shook his hands out by his sides. “I have to go. I can't be here.”

Bentley opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He took a breath but nothing came in. His lungs, hic chest began to constrict painfully, like all of the air had been vacuumed out of him. He brought a hand up to rest on his shirt, tugging at it to no avail. Don’t panic. Panicking would make it worse.

A glance up toward Nico, and Bentley saw his own deep brown eyes glowing white in the reflection of the window next to the door.

Okay, so panic. He really was going to die, wasn’t he? He tried his best to gasp and wheeze for air but nothing moved. His whole chest started to burn like it was on fire and he couldn’t speak to get Nico’s attention. He frantically tried to gasp in air that never came, and his eyes began to water — maybe from fear, maybe from the fact that his chest felt like it might explode, maybe both. He didn’t even realize Nico had seen him until his voice came:

“Bentley! No, hey, no, this can’t be happening!” 

Through his panic and the black that was beginning to creep into the edges of his vision, Bentley managed to comprehend that Nico’s white eyes were now very close to him, and his hands were resting on either side of his face. “No, stop it, breathe! Please breathe, please, please, please, please-“

Bentley’s lungs were burning like he’d breathed in a gallon of water and his heart was pounding out of his chest. Nico looked around desperately for help but, even in a Manor that housed a dozen on a good day, found none. Was this what it felt like to drown?

“I can’t make it stop, I can’t…” Nico cried, lurching forward and engulfing Bentley in a hug. “Please, please, please, please, please, please, please… Please, stop it. Please, stop it!”

Bentley was starting to feel more like a wet noodle than an actual person, and it was getting difficult to hold up his weight. Not to mention that the black in his vision was getting bigger. Was this really going to be the end of him? For real? He wasn’t even eleven yet. He couldn’t die before he’d made up with Damian.

“Please stop,” Nico begged. He was practically the only thing keeping Bentley from hitting the floor. Everything seemed to be buzzing, and he was really heavy, and his head and chest were so tight and on fire and burning.

Was he really going to die at Nico’s hand?

“Please stop,” Nico begged, and it seemed like he was talking to the torrential wind that was whipping the foyer’s curtains around — Bentley hadn’t even noticed how hard it was howling until then. How was no one else hearing it? “Please stop.”

Bentley’s vision was shot. His hearing was fading into a dull ring. He felt Nico’s arms tight around him, and he was dying.

“Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it!” Nico sobbed violently. He breathed in deep and groaned frustratedly, then shouted, loud enough that the whole house could probably hear him: “Stop it!”

And just like that, the wind stopped, and Bentley gasped.

Breathing air had never felt so good — his gasps slowly put out the fires that had erupted throughout his body and eased the tightness and pain in his chest. It felt like a whole new sensation, like the air was personally warding off the blackness in his vision and the ring in his ears. He choked on nothing and fell into a violent coughing fit as his body came back online.

“Oh my God!” Nico said, pulling back and examining Bentley to make sure he was actually, literally breathing. He was still sobbing, probably harder now, and had an iron grip on Bentley’s shoulders. “Oh my God. I almost… I almost…”

“It’s okay,” Bentley wheezed, coughing so hard he thought his lungs would splat on the floor. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.”

Nico let go when he determined Bentley was stable enough, taking a few steps back and drawing his inhaler from a pocket in his pajama pants. “I almost killed you.” His dull blue eyes were trained on the floor, almost like he was dazed. “I almost killed you.”

“But you didn’t. You controlled it,” Bentley tried, still heaving and breathing heavily to replenish the oxygen in his body.

“But what happens next time? If I can’t?” Nico questioned, shaking and sucking on his inhaler a few times. His hands were shaking vigorously. Tears were still streaming down his face in an uncontrollable manner.

“You will. It’ll get easier,” He said. “Just… please stay.”

Nico put his inhaler away and wrapped his arms around himself, his whole body shaking with his sobs. “What if it doesn’t stop next time?”

“It will,” Bentley reassured. “Please — you said you needed me. I’m right here.”

He attempted a Bruce-move by opening his arms invitingly. “I trust you. Powers can't change that.”

Nico just sort of stared at him for a solid ten seconds. Bentley was about to call it quits and back down, but then Nico threw himself at him, wrapping his arms around his neck, sinking into it and crying like he hadn’t had a hug in weeks. (Little did Bentley know, he really hadn’t.)

They never realized that, despite the yelling and windstorm, absolutely no one else in the Manor had heard a thing.

—

dedicated to @sassenashsworld 💚

—

tag list! (If you want me to remove or add you, ask in comments!)

@fleur-alise @sarcopterygiian @flyrobinflyy @skylathescholar @gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun @xiaonothere

[jillsandwhichs]

Our Future Day's

Joel Miller x Reader series , Chap 1 , Move in day

Masterlist

Pairing: Fem!reader x Joel Miller

Summary: You officially move from oregan to texas and get to meet your very new & handsome neighbor, Joel

WC: 3.1k

Type: SFW

Some thing's you need to know before reading: this is a series, not a one shot collection! you (the reader) already have a semi premade backstory. first off, you're originally from oregon. you studied at med school and got a job offer in texas to become a doctor, which you took. you are 23 in this but if you don't like that, imagine any age (18+) and i did make joel younger 26 (until the 20 year time jump, he'll be 46) but he does still have sarah, just pretend it's not wonky LMAO! one more thing, ya have a dog in this fic, he's a boy but imagine any breed you'd like! aside from that, this is tlou game version but i included some sides from the show! a couple more things: 1. all characters from tlou1/2 will be mentioned/featured. 2. this takes place before outbreak, then eventually outbreak day, then eventually in the apocalypse. 3. this is a slow burn romance (drabbles of it in each chapter though, esp when it progresses) and does feature a decent amount of smut. 4. JOEL NEVER DIES!!!

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Thank you

Tapping your fingers on the steering wheel, you matched the beat of the song playing on your cars radio. It was a song by Blake Shelton. You weren't a huge fan of him but he had some classics. It has been such a long day for you. You've been driving for the past two hours, not a single break in between. You just wanted to get to your new home as soon as you could. You could tell your dog, Becker, needed to go potty as well. He'd just have to hold out.

The GPS on your phone stated you were only about ten minutes away. The center of Austin TX was busy as all hell, so that time span could get longer by the second. So many cars & people flooded the streets. "God dammit." You mumbled to yourself, rolling your eyes as you seen all the upcoming traffic ahead. This was going to be a long night. You had no clue when you'd even be able to get into bed. Then again, it was only 4:30 in the afternoon, almost evening.

Behind you, in the backseat, you could hear Becker whimpering & whining. "Don't worry boy, we're almost home, just a little bit longer." You cooed to him, reaching your right hand back and allowing him to lick you. You got Becker as a graduation gift a few weeks ago. You two have bonded ever since. You were never a cat person, dog's were more of your style. "You'll be able to go potty soon." You said to him, pulling your hand back up and holding onto the wheel.

Traffic wasn't going as slow as you intended, was traffic always going to be like this though? This ain't going to be pleasant if so. Especially working for the hospital. Imagine an emergency happens and you're needed but the roads are packed, that's going to be one helluva time. But, you wanna think positively. You missed your family too. It's going to be hard without them, especially your mom. She is your number one supporter and without her in the same home as you, it'll be a large change.

You turned the radio up, hearing the country music blast throughout your car but not loud enough to scare your dog. Dogs ears are sensitive and you didn't wanna bother him further than he already was. No doggo wants to be stuck in a car all day, especially in this heat. Despite it being early September, it was still quite warm out. That's another big change from Oregon, you imagine that back home, it's either really windy or heavily raining. The change could be nice though.

The sound of Becker panting was clear as day, it only made you feel more guilty. "Hold on baby." You muttered to him before you then rolled your window down and the window directly behind you, not a lot though, you didn't want him to jump out or something. Through your rearview mirror, you could see his slobbery tounge blowing in the wind as he stuck his head out the window. "Hah, good boy!" You giggled, turning left onto the exit, finally getting off of this miserable highway.

Finally, the road wasn't full anymore. It was a downtown rural area now, cars slowly made their way through the town. Austin is busy, yes, but this side of it, not so much. The only logical reason it was super busy on the highway and earlier roads was because people are getting/going to work. Your first day at the hospital is on Monday. You were nervous but in a great way. You have been non stop thinking about it. All of the work you've put in and you're officially where you wanted to be. Life was going good... For once...

You passed by all sorts of different places. Gas stations, fast food chains, locally owned stores & stands, it felt so honey. Back in Oregon, you lived in the center of the city, it was always so lively and never calm. Austin is like that too but not as bad, and definitely not as bad as Dallas is. You were grateful you didn't end up moving there or even somewhere that was worse. Austin was a good enough fit for you.

The GPS showed you were only a minute or two away from home, your heart was racing a bit. You've never been on your own before and you least expected it to be in a completely different state. Luckily, a week from now, you'll be going back home for the weekend. It'll be comforting. You'll definitely make sure to call your family everyday, you made sure they knew that too. They'd have to simply put up with it.

You could tell you were getting closer due to the change in scenery. There weren't any establishments around these parts, just either compact or extensive suburban homes. You actually used to make fun of those perfect American families who lived in these types of areas but look at you now. Back home, you lived in a small house, only two bedrooms but you were an only child so it was never a problem. You did wish for siblings growing up but you understand now that if you had some, things would be a whole lot different.

As you turned left, the tracker built into your phone made a dinging noise, indicating you had arrived at your destination. It wasn't wrong. Just to the left, you could see your newly purchased home. It made your heart skip a beat. Not only were you nervous but you were also so happy. You glimmered as you pulled right into the driveway and set your car in park. You could tell Becker knew this was your guy's new home, his whimpers weren't ones of boredness but rather excitement. "One second." You sighed out before getting out of the car.

Stepping out of your car, you sighed softly as you breathed in the fresh air. The smell of outside was always so welcoming. You grabbed your purse out of your car too and swung it across your shoulder. It was a brown leather purse with an embroidered strap. You then opened up the backseat so Becker could jump on out. "Stay over here buddy." You chuckled out, scratching the top of his head a few times before closing both doors. You had quite a bit of stuff in your trunk & backseat but you hired a truck to drive all of your other belongings here. It wouldn't be there for another day or so.

Becker ran off to the side of the house to go potty ; You trusted him enough to not run off. He was a good dog. You went to the back of your car and popped open your trunk. It was a mess but everything you needed for the night was in there. You even bought an air mattress, your back would die trying to sleep on a wooden floor. You grabbed the first two boxes, they weren't very big, and set them on the concrete of your driveway. They just had toiletries in them.

You grabbed out another box, this one was a bit bigger than the other two. It had all of your kitchen appliances in it. You were excited to cook your very first dinner in your very own home. You already decided on making Pesto Pasta, one of your favorites. In your trunk, there was the air mattress box. It wasn't going to be the best way to sleep but it'd have to suffice for the night, your proper bed should be in either tomorrow or on Sunday.

Whilst grabbing out the air mattress, you heard the sound of a truck driving past and pulling into the driveway across from you. They must've been your neighbors. Your neighbors back home weren't the nicest. There were the Johnson's so were beyond uppity and thought they were better than everyone else, they lived beside you. Then there was Cassandra and Cody, they were your age and pretty kind except they were literal kleptos.

You ignored the truck behind you, just trying to get everything you needed for the night. You could hear Becker barking but you didn't know what it was he was doing it at. You figured a wild animal, maybe a bunny or a stray. Becker was actually from a shelter, you'd never buy an animal from PetSmart or whatever. "Becker, quit your barking!" You shouted at him, nudging him to come over to you. Maybe he wasn't good with new environments.

You placed the last cardboard box from your trunk on top of another one, shooting your eyes to look at Becker. He was looking at the truck across the street, barking at it. "Oh boy, quit it." You spoke out to him but he didn't listen. You went to grab onto his collar but right as you did, he bolted off into their driveway. He was a friendly dog, you didn't think he'd do anything bad, he was just inquisitive, but it was still bad of him to run off like that.

"Becker!" You yelled, jogging across the street to grab him. You watched as two men got out of the black truck. The one in the driver's seat had a mullet and lighter hair than the other man, he also seemed shorter. The other one though had short dark hair, although you couldn't tell if it was purely brown or black. He was well built, along with the other man. Were they brothers? That's the only assumption that came to mind.

Once you reached their driveway, you grabbed Becker and pulled him back to you. The man getting out of the passenger seat looked back at you and had a puzzled look before letting out a chuckle beneath his breath. "Listen, I'm so sorry, he's just curious." You sighed out. Becker was now listening as he sat down right by your feet. "Sorry, we'll be out of your hair." You giggled, beginning to turn around before you heard the man's voice speak up.

"You just move in across the street?" He asked you, his voice sounded southern and it was very deep. "Oh uhm, yeah, just got here tonight actually." You said kindly, looking back at him again. "Well, welcome then, and to your dog." He snickered out. "I'm Joel, this is Tommy." Joel spoke deeply, pointing over at the other man. You let the two men know your name before asking them whether or not they were brothers, and they were. You weren't surprised, they did share similar facial features.

"Where are you from?" Joel raised, his arms crossed. His arms were huge, he definitely has a nice body. "I'm from Oregon." You said softly, placing your slender hands onto your waist. "Damn, that's a long ways out. What made you move all the way here?" "Got a job offer at the hospital." You said with a titter, his accent was thick. "Oh, you a nurse or something?" He questioned, leaning up against his truck. "No, a doctor. Recently gradated from medschool." You explained, glancing over at his brother as he walked into the house. Maybe they lived together.

"Well how bout that? I'm just a contractor." "That's nice." You added, tucking strands of your thin hair behind your ear. "Yeah, yeah, well I'll let you continue settling in. If you need any help with uh larger furniture, me and my brother can stop by, we helped the Adler's when they first moved in." Joel said with a deep voice, pointing his index to the home beside his. "That would be great, thanks, luckily I don't have to deal with the bullshit of larger furniture today, it'll be in either tomorrow or Sunday."

"Alrighty, well, you have yourself a good evening. See you." Joel said with a sly smirk, slowly inching backwards. "You too, Joel." You gave him a slight smile before patting Becker to follow behind you. You made your way across the street, allowing Becker to run around in his new yard. You took a gander back and seen Joel looked back at you before entering his home. When you saw his eyes on you, you felt a deep pit in your stomach. Nothing bad, rather just glee or something. You couldn't pin it.

Around your neck was a lanyard, it had the key to your home, you assumed it was locked. At least you hoped, you don't want any squatters inside. You unlocked the white door and opened it, stepping inside of it. The sunset beamed in through the windows throughout the house. It was still dark though, every single light was switched on. The seller said you'd have to go to the basement to switch them all on. That sounded like a fun time!

One by one, you dragged each box into the home, keeping some on the floor and placing some on the island counter. You didn't plan on unpacking any of it tonight, you were restless and just wanted to lay down for the night, despite it only being 5 PM. The more sleep you get, the easier it'll be tomorrow. You definitely had to get a lot of sleep Sunday considering on Monday, you start your first day. Even though it's just training, you wanna be as awake as possible.

You ambled towards the front door again and away from the kitchen to call Becker in. He'd have to deal with the floor for the night. He is a cuddly dog, he loves big comfy areas but without a bed or a couch, there's no way. "Becker!" You said with a rowdy voice, "C'mon baby." He came running over to you and past your legs, going into the house and treading around like a mad man. "Oh good boy." You chuckled, petting him gently.

You walked back over to the kitchen and grabbed the air mattress, you needed to get it open and blown up. It was sealed to a T, your nails were definitely not enough to get it open. Striding towards the appliances box, you opened it up and searched through it, taking out a knife to slice it open. You are quite clumsy so you were praying you wouldn't stab the mattress on accident. It didn't help that Becker felt the need to push himself up against you, seeking attention & love as if he's starved from it.

"Back off boy." You snorted, pulling the mattress out of it's box. It was all wrinkled up and looked compact. Although it was the size of a Full. You straightened it out on the living room floor, you didn't feel like carrying it all the way up the stairs. It came with a machine to blow it up and you connected it to the black cylinder hole, turning it on and hearing the loud blowing noise it was making. You didn't have any pillows, they were all packed up in that truck but luckily, you had a blanket, it was the one you let Becker use in the backseat when you were driving.

"You stay here mister." You stated out to Becker before beginning to make your way out of the front door to take the blanket out from the car. As you went outside, you noticed a bright light was on in Joel's house, just in one room though. You could also see the shadow of a smaller person's body walking through said room. Did he have a girlfriend? Or did Tommy have one? Maybe it was Tommy's. You convinced yourself of that at least.

After grabbing the blanket, you walked back inside and seen Becker already making himself a spot on the bed, despite it barley being inflated. "You little shit." You grinned, tossing the fuzzy blanket on top of him. Guess you were going to have to share.

The bed was officially ready to be slept on, you haven't been this excited to sleep in a very long time. Back home, you dreaded it. You would stay up all night, doing different stuff. Whether it was studying, painting, reading, working out, etc.. You were always doing something new. With Becker, it's been better. You're an affectionate person and he is as a dog. It may be a rough night, it always is sleeping somewhere new, but with him it may be easier.

Pulling the machine away from the bed, you turned it off and climbed underneath the blanket, feeling immediate warmth. The Texas heat also played a part in that. Back in Oregon, you had a heater beside your bed to help, you definitely didn't need one here. "Alright." You whispered to yourself, Becker lying right beside your feet, his fur was cozy. You were originally going to turn the lights on to your home but honestly, you were scared to go down there all alone, a pitch black basement? No thanks.

Trying to sleep in a new area was hard. You felt homesick. You miss your old room, the house noises, the feeling of it. You lived there your entire life, now you're thousands of miles away. Becker probably felt that way too, especially with how he connected with your father, they bonded. A week from now though, you'd be able to see them. It'd be easier. Another thing you couldn't stop thinking about was that man - Joel.

He seemed so different. He was kind & understanding, and that's just simply based on the short conversation the two of you had together. He was so willing to help you out, no one else was like that. It was a sweet welcoming. He was also very handsome. All the men back home weren't like that. That glimmer in his eyes wasn't something to ignore. It was the way he gazed at you that had you wrapped around the thought of him.

That brother of his was good looking too, definitely not as much, but either way. Were they both contractors? It appeared as though they had just left work so maybe they work together. And who was that smaller person walking throughout his house earlier? Had to be a girlfriend. A daughter? No way, the two of them looked to young to even have children. There was still a chance though, teen pregnancies aren't uncommon. You presume you'll deal with a lot of them as a Doctor.

Your eyes felt more & more heavy. Becker's deep breathing made you weary too. The pitch blackness of the room was helpful ; White sound would've been helpful too. Sleeping in complete silence was torture. All you could really hear was your dog and your own breathing. You were completely spent for the day. And you were ready to hit the hay.

Divider Creds: animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[sophaeros]

love your blog, if possible could I get an Albert and Jules lore dump? I read your other post but I am hungry for more context (and sources)

omg hii glad u like it here !! 😋 umm ok i can try to do like a rough little timeline w notable moments maybe? whatever comes to mind lol

in err 1991 i believe when julian was 13 he got sent to that one swiss boarding school to curb his alcoholism (did not work clearly) and two years later when julian was 15, 13 year-old albert also arrived. julian stayed for two years and albert stayed for six months. julian had this to say about their meeting SNIFFLES. theyre never beating the soulmate allegations i fear

How did you become friends at first? Julian: Two of us arrived in a private school in Switzerland. I felt I had nothing in common with the others. They were so different from people I knew in New York, they were obsessed by clothes Haut Couture. I missed New York so much, it’s really a part of my soul. Meeting Albert was a relief. At last, someone with whom I could talk. There was immediately something, a feeling of complementarity. We talked a lot of music, of our band plans. We gave ourselves 2 years to create a band or to bury this dream. After 2 years, we gave ourselves 2 more years, (laugh).

— the strokes for les inrockuptibles, march 2002 (x)

after albert moved back to la he and julian lost touch until 1998 when albert moved to new york at 18 to go to film school and find himself or whatever. and of course they have the most red string of fate ass second meeting oh my god it makes my stomach hurt. I COULD LITERALLY SEE HIM FROM MY WINDOW. why arent they in a stupid hallmark movie romcom COME ON

“When I first came to New York,” marvels Hammond, resplendent in red and black winklepickers, “the way things happened to me, it was like there was someone… doing it. I moved into my apartment, it was directly across the street from where Julian worked. Like, what are the odds? I could literally see him from my window.”

— albert hammond jr for q magazine, april 2002 (x)

and so albert becomes the final member of the band, completing the set ❤️ (the talk, 2013)

Albert, did you have to try out to be in The Strokes? Yeah. I remember when I met everyone. I met Julian first, then Nikolai, got really drunk one night, and then I went to go try out, even though Julian told me later that in his mind I was already in the band. How come? I was an okay player, I could play chords and stuff, but I looked awesome. (Laughs) I just looked like there was only one thing I could do: be in a band.

albert and julian lived together for seven years from 1998 to 2005 when julian got married, they had two apartments together and the first one is the most well known, it's the dumbbell shaped one. idk about the layout of the second unforch

ehhh scrubbing ahead a bit. julian wasn't there for albert's intervention in 2009 because he was on his solo tour

but happily in 2013 we get albert releasing his comeback ep through julian's label cult records (and then he leaves cult records in 2015. c'est la vie.) (nme september 2013)

“I’d been talking to Julian about wanting to release something on his label since he started it,” Hammond Jr explains. “He was like, ‘Let’s put out a song’. So I went, ‘Alright, I’ll start working with Gus [Oberg] and maybe after we do a few songs there’ll be one that’s fun in there.’ I sent him the first, ‘Cooker Ship’, and he was floored. I got an email back with a million ‘yes’-es on it!”

speaking of which. i've posted this before but SIGHHHH (the talk 2013) that song is for his fucking then-gf justyna. (well, most likely. i dont think hes ever outright stated who he wrote it for but the mv is pretty domestic (for the most part......) and theres a bit where theyre kinda dancing in the living room which is one of the things albert told an interviewer he and justyna did a lot → vice june 2015 but of course i suppose you never know)

Kind of like The Strokes’ song “You Only Live Once”… Julian wrote that. I’m in the band, but I still take his lyrics like a fan would. You always relate lyrics to yourself, and I even do that with him even though he is one of my friends and we lived together when he was writing it. God knows what they were truly about. But it came full circle when he was over listening to “St. Justice” from my new solo EP. It was really cute, he was like, “Is this lyric about me?” And I was like, “…no, man.” It really wasn’t, but it was a good circle because I’ve felt that way about so many of his lyrics. When we got in the band, Julian had such a vision, he was just a strong writer, so the first three records are all his.

and then there's. whatever the fuck is up with one way trigger. i'll make a post about that swear

ending this post here i think bc otherwise i'm never gonna post this SORRY. i'll try to think of more but the tragedy of julian/albert is that it's actually really hard to find fuel for them. unlike milex where they're apparently physically incapable of not being all over and waxing poetic about each other. but then what you Do get is kinda crazy. such is life

[joeys-babe]

Someday We’ll Be Together

Chapter 11: Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain

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September 12, 2021

(joe's pov)

after y/n ran into the bathroom, i realized the severity of the situation.

i really fucked up.

my plan didn't go the way i wanted it to at all. after i kissed y/n, i panicked and thought that she only kissed me because she got caught up in the moment. the first thing i saw was lexie running out of the bar and i made a split second decision to take the kiss back and make an excuse for why i did it.

"i don't want to talk to you now, or preferably ever again."

my heart shattered when she said those words.

i waited outside of the bathroom door for 10 minutes, until i eventually gave up. even if she did walk out, i'd be the last person she'd want to see.

my first thought was to just get wasted, forget about the situation temporarily.

i made my way over to the bar asked for a bear, adding the "keep 'em coming".

i was three deep when i heard a female voice.

"hey joey."

"i'm not signing stuff tonight, kinda heartbroken right now-" - joe turned and noticed that it was lexie

"lexie.. what the fuck do you want?" - joe

"joe you're absolutely wasted, let me take you home. i remember where you live." - lexie

"where's your boyfriend? thought you'd be busy grinding on him." - joe

"you know he doesn't mean anything to me, you're the only one for me joe." - lexie

"fuck off." - joe

"okay fine. just at least let me drive you home, no funny business i swear." - lexie

"let me get one more beer and then maybe we'll talk."- joe flagged down the bartender

"okay, i'll come back in 10 minutes. i have to go find my boyfriend." - lexie

i rolled my eyes as she walked away, she was such a fake woman.

soon after i finished my beer, lexie walked back up to me.

"you ready to go joey?" - lexie

"yup" - joe

she grabbed my hand to stand up but when i tried to stand up i immediately tripped over my own feet, so i grabbed onto lexies waist.

"you look like an idiot." - lexie laughed

"just shut up and take me back to my house. the faster you get me to the car the faster we can never talk to each other again." - joe

"bro what did i do to you? you don't have to be a dick." - lexie

i scoffed at that, thinking of all the different examples i could use.

"what haven't you done? you've judged my body, used me for my status, cheated on me twice.. want me to keep going?" - joe

we were passing the table that the guys were sitting at, and i heard sam yell for me.

i hurriedly walked away from lexie and walked over to the guys.

"here's this.." - sam handed joe his sweatshirt

y/n had folded my sweatshirt perfectly and gave it to sam to give back to me.

"is she.. still here?" - joe

"i don't think so. she ran after she practically slammed this on the table. oh yeah, she also told me to tell you to go to hell." - sam

"i deserve that." - joe

"bro what did you do? and why the fuck are you with lexie?" - sam

"i- uhm.. i'll tell you later. i really fucked up though, and i'm really scared i just lost her." - joe

"lost her?" - sam

"lost the girl i'm fuckin in love with. it's all my fault too." - joe sighed

"woah woah, go back. joe, you're in love with her?" - sam

"sam, don't play stupid. you know full and well i've been in love with her since damn ohio state." - joe

i hadn't realized that my voice got louder out of irritation and everyone at the table was staring at me with their jaw dropped. jess and gracie having shocked smiles on their faces.

"but i really messed up. i kissed her, but i panicked thinking that she only kissed me back because she got caught up in the moment.." - joe

"so what'd you do?" - jess

"i pretended like i did it to make lexie jealous, like a damn jerk." - joe

"joe! that was such a dick move." - ja'marr

"i know! i've realized that! now i'm never gonna know if she feels the same way because she hates me!" - joe

"go see if she's outside, if she is you should try to explain." - tee

"she doesn't want to talk to me-" - joe

"go!" - the whole table yelled

i ran out the bar and started scanning the sidewalk. y/n was standing yards away from me, but i could still hear her sobbed words. it was pouring the rain, and i felt terrible seeing her stand there with no shelter over her head.

"i hate joe, so much." - you

a few seconds of silence, the other person on the phone was talking.

"mom hurry, i'll tell you everything that happened later. just get here fast, i don't want him to come find me." - you

moments later she said an "i love you too" and got off the phone.

even though she said she didn't want to talk to me, or want me to come find her. i had to.

"y/n.." - joe

i watched her head move in my direction, her crying getting even harder.

"i told you to leave me alone." - you

"please, let me explain." - joe

"i don't want to hear it. go find lexie for all i care. i've done nothing but supported you your whole entire life, joe and you use me to make some bitch jealous?!" - you

"y/n please!" - joe

"you- you're a jerk. you're like every other guy i've ever been around. i thought you were different, i thought you were my best friend. but you are nothing but a lier, player, dick, and you lead me on! i'm sick and tired of being your back burner for when you're girlfriends hurt you!" - you

by this time i was crying with her, she was the only girl i've ever truly wanted and now she'll never know.

"i am your best friend, y/n!" - joe

"no you're not. also, my moms almost here and i don't want you to be anywhere near here when she arrives. after tonight, don't try to contact me in anyway possible because i will not be answering." - you

i nodded and defeatedly started walking back towards the bar door, just as i was about to reach the handle i turned around. y/n was watching me walk away.

"just know this. i never meant to hurt you, and i'm so sorry. you're the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and i wish i would've showed that more. goodnight, y/n." - joe walked back into the bar

when i walked in, the table of my teammates were already looking in my direction. they waited for me to report back to them.

all i did was nod my head "no" and wipe the remaining tears off my cheeks.

i stood there for a second, my back against the door thinking about what had just happened when i realized i didn't have my sweatshirt with me.

i opened the door to see if i had dropped it, only to see y/n hugging her mom by her car that was idle in the road.

my heart broke even more at the sight, and when they pulled away that's when i saw it. my sweatshirt. y/n had it hugged against her chest.

(y/n's pov)

on the way home i explained to my mom what had happened, and as soon as we arrived i went upstairs to my room and cried myself to sleep.

i was sleeping rather peacefully till i got a call at midnight, my phone vibrating on my nightstand.

not even checking the caller ID, i excepted it and mumbled a "hello".

"y/n!" - gracie

"gracie? why the hell are you calling me at midnight?" - you

"aye i'm here too!" - jess

"what is it you guys absolutely needed to wake me up for?" - you

"we found out what happened and wanted to check on you." - jess

"i'll be fine, he's just a stupid guy. i just don't understand why he kept trying to get me to listen to him, there was literally nothing for him to explain!" - you

"you have every right to feel that way and to be mad, but maybe you should've maybe tried to listen. he explained the situation to us, and i really feel like you would want to hear what he has to say.” - gracie

“i mean this in the nicest way possible but i honestly don’t care. i don’t want to hear anything he has to say. he doesn’t deserve it.” - you

“so what are you gonna do? ignore him forever and forget that you were in love with him?” - jess

“that’s the problem. even after all of this, he’s the only guy i can ever picture myself with. i’m still in love with him, i don’t ever think thats gonna change.” - you

“then you should let him talk. you don’t have to today, or even this week. take your time, and then hear him out. i really do think you’ll like what you hear, y/n.” - gracie

“i will. just give me time, i’m still hurt.” - you

“we know. take all the time you need, and just know that joes really upset too. sam and i took him home and he asked us to stay while we he showered, just in case he fell in hit his head since he was still drunk, and we could literally hear him crying from downstairs.” - jess

“he’s such a man-child.” - you laughed

“maybe so, but he cares about you a lot.” - jess

our conversation went on for a little longer till we said our goodnights, but there was no way i was going to be able to back to sleep.

all i could think about was what joe was going to tell me if i let him talk. then came the image of his blue eyes crying in the rain.

what did jess and gracie know that i didn’t?

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authors note: i wonder what happens next????

hope you enjoyed! 🥰🥰