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ameagrice · 7 days ago

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#3: All In Selfishness

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⇥ Masterlist

⇥ Taglist (hope they're all working!) @ferrari-curse, @solarisstarrsolomonsbeloved, @robertthehoover, @annasnape7, @menabuser16, @swthrtbyeol, @foulbreadpaenut, @earphonejack09, @namelesslosers, @pearl-pool, @ameagrice, @ayyylol, @honeynanamin

⇥ Pairing Hwang In-ho x fem!reader

⇥ Warnings Spoilers for Season 1 & 2, angst, violence, graphic descriptions of injuries & death

⇥ A/N: Thank you for all the likes and reblogs! I'm so glad you like the story! 😭💝

⇥ [#2] | [#4]

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"I'm sorry about earlier, everyone. I don't know what happened."

In-ho smiled sheepishly as he looked around the small group. "No, it's okay," Dae-ho answered with a wave of his hand. "Don't be," 456 agreed. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have made the last kick."

Dae-ho recalled the games with utmost enthusiasm, demonstrating how everyone succeeded in their task. You smiled lightly, watching the group in silence. Your eyes finally landed on In-ho. He had almost lost it earlier, when he had failed at Paengi chigi several times in a row. You had never seen him so agitated, so out of control. He had always been calm, even in the most difficult situations. Part of you wondered if it was all just an act - especially when you had realized that he had been throwing with his right hand.

In-ho was left-handed after all.

"What's wrong?" In-ho's voice was as gentle as you remembered, his face showing real concern for the first time since you had met him. "Uhm," you stuttered, ripped out of your thoughts, and cursed internally when you realized you had stared just a tad too long at him. "Nothing," you mumbled after a moment, tearing your eyes away from him. "I just-.. thank you all for letting me be a part of your team."

You sighed deeply, and wrapped your arms around your legs, pulling your knees up to your chin. What a messed up situation. There he sat, the love of your life - so close, yet so far away.

"Listen," Dae-ho said, standing up from his spot across from you. "Perhaps we should learn each other's names. I still don't know your names, gentlemen. Just yours, Miss," he smiled brightly at you. "I'll start. I'm Kang Dae-ho," he declared proudly, raising his fist.

"Wow. 'Big Tiger.' Cool name," 390 chuckled, pointing up at the younger man. "My name is Park Jung-bae. My parents wanted me to be twice as righteous."

"I'm Ryu Soo-yeon," you spoke up when everybody looked at you expectantly. "Soo means endure and yeon means repeatedly."

"Ooooh, that's deep," Dae-ho said, his eyes widening a little. "Did you have very strict parents?"

You chuckled a little at his remark and shook your head. "No. They weren't the one to give me that name. I chose it for myself," you said, trying to decide if you should elaborate further or not. Before you came to a decision, In-ho spoke up.

"Why?"

"Well," you swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath. "I lost memory about 10 years ago. Everything I was before just... disappeared in the blink of an eye. It almost broke me, not knowing who I was and where I belonged."

A heavy silence settled over the small group as they all listened to your words. "I couldn't ask anybody for help. I mean... there was nobody who could give me back what I lost, right? I had to live with that loss every single day, with no hope that I'd ever the same again. So, one day... I decided to move on. Literally. I left the city and everything behind, including my legal name. Ryu Soo-yeon was born. 'Endure repeatedly'. Live with the pain and emptiness every single day."

Jung-bae whistled lowly, trying to ease the tension that had built up around them. "Then... how did you end up in this place?" He asked after a few moments. You stared into the distance, away from the men around you, trying to come up with a coherent answer. The truth was not an option, even though you detested lying.

In-ho watched and listened in silence, trying to make some sense of what he was hearing. Ever since that day when you woke up from your coma, he had wondered how you had been.

You had refused to see him - and no nurse or doctor had let him into your room from that moment on. He had been shut out - from your room, your life, and your heart. Not once did he blame you, he just wanted to understand.

He wanted you back.

And if every effort he made, in every feeling he felt - he never stopped and asked himself how you must have felt.

He understood that now.

But would it have changed anything?

Would anything be different now, had he asked himself that question?

Was he wrong to be numbed and blinded by grief?

"I'm-," you started, shaking your head slightly, "I found... that little card with the phone number... and I guess I was too curious for my own good."

In-ho blinked, when he noticed something.

Something he had first seen when you two were still children. Something that had not changed when you two got older and got married.

Your lips had twitched ever so slightly; barely noticable to the eye. He himself would have missed it, had he not been so attuned to you.

Your lips had twitched when you finished talking.

You were lying.

Smiling sheepishly, you quickly avoided the group's glances. "Anyway..." you mumbled, trying to steer the attention away from yourself, "we were introducing ourselves, right?"

Dae-ho cleared his throat quickly, before nodding in agreement.

"I'm Oh Young-il," In-ho said, ignoring this new situation for now. "Young-il sounds like 'zero one', and that's my number. Easy to remember," he laughed.

"What a coincidence," you mumbled, looking at Player 456 who was last to introduce himself.

"Gi-hun. What's your last name?" In-ho asked, looking at 456 too.

"My name is Seong Gi-hun," he answered, smiling lightly.

"It's nice to meet you all," you smiled at every single one - including In-ho. He smiled back at you, as he always did, but something was different.

Had you blown it? Did he see through you after all?

Before you could try to find an answer, an alarm sounded through the dormitory. One by one, pink soldiers stepped into the large room.

"Congratulations to all of you for making it through the second game," the square announced. "Here are the results of the second game."

The light was dimmed as more and more money fell into the see-through piggy bank hanging from the ceiling. People watched in awe, some in horror. 255 players remained. 201 people had died already. Part of you was surprised that you were still there, among the living. Then again, you were not there for the money. You had a mission, even if it was "only" a personal one. But maybe, that difference in motivation was all it took for you to still stand tall, healthy and breathing.

Or maybe you were just lucky.

Both reasons were equally fine, and in all honesty - you did not care. You were one of the surviving players, and you would do your best to keep it that way - period.

"It's not even 80 million per person," someone complained, ripping you out of your thoughts. "Only 110 people died? Is that all?"

That comment made you flinch unvoluntarily. Had you heard that correctly? Was it not enough that 110 people lost their lives in the last game? Were people really that cold and nonchalant about it? Or could you simply not understand that because you were not in need of money...?

"Count them again!" Player 100 demanded. You glared at him from across the room; that old man had been grating on your nerves ever since he had first opened his mouth.

"I almost died twice, and that's all I get?" The man close to your group mumbled, loud enough for you to hear. You looked at him, trying to make sense of the ruckus that was slowly building amongst the players. In the meantime, a storm started brewing within your body.

Another vote was about to happen.

The X and O on the ground glowed dangerously. Your mind was reeling, finally understanding that you had to make a choice again - and none of the two seemed right.

Pressing O would mean to continue these games of life and death.

Pressing X could mean the end of the games - and the end of your time with In-ho. Who knew if you would ever meet him again? This may have been your only and last chance to-

"Don't worry. I want to stop here too," In-ho said, causing you and Gi-hun to look at him. "I should go and be with my wife at the hospital."

Wife?

Your heart dropped, and you swore you heart it shatter somewhere within you. He was married? That was impossible, you two were not even legally divorced.

"Yes," Gi-hun answered, patting In-ho's shoulder. "Maybe she remembers you again now."

Releasing a breath you did not realize you were holding, you tried to calm your heart and nerves. Of course he had no wife in the hospital. You were the one he must have told Gi-hun about, it must have been your story. In-ho's explanation for joining the games. Naturally he could not just waltz in and say he was actually the one organizing this shit show.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale," In-ho said, nudging your elbow gently. Your eyes snapped over to him as you nodded quickly. "I'm fine. Just a little... exhausted."

All this lying and acting was almost more draining than these wicked games. In-ho smiled lightly and made his way down the stairs as he was called to make the first vote. As expected, the screen above him counted one X as he pressed the red button.

One by one, the players were called to the front and placed their votes, the numbers on the screen almost going head to head. Not even 100 players had voted when the arguing began. Despite In-ho's passionate plea, the ones who voted O quickly overtook the room, chanting in unison.

"One more game! One more game! One more game!"

In the midst of all this, you were watching helplessly, contemplating what to do or what to think. In-ho's words seemed so real, so honest. In the big picture though, they did not make any sense.

"Player 371."

You flinched when you heard your number being called. As you made your way to the front, you looked up at the screen. The numbers were almost equal now, X leading by a few votes.

What should you do? Leave?

You needed answers.

And maybe it was wrong, but in this moment... you were selfish. You put your need for answers above the lives of 254 other people.

Loud cheers erupted behind you when you pressed O.

On the inside though, all you heard was deafening silence.

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