#eventually I'm going to die. and most likely. it will be at home during one of these

[goregrishdotcom]

How I look basically telling my boss Im going to have a breakdown today no matter what and I'd rather do it at home than at work and that I can feel the signs already coming on and it's going to last all day to the point where I'll make an attempt at my life bc this is not the first time this has happened to me in my life by a long shot (and I most certainly don't have the money to pay to go to the hospital and whatever subsequent things they want to do to/for me)

[writingforstraykids]

You always come first

Pairing: Minchan

Word Count: 2007

Summary: Worrying Chan is by far one of the things Minho hates most. So when he hurts himself during practice one day, he'd rather die than tell his boyfriend. His body isn't quite happy with his choice, forcing him to open up at some point...

Warnings/Tags: angst, hurt!comfort, fluff, injury (ankle), stubborn!min, worried!chan, short argument

There isn't much Minho hates more than worrying his boyfriend. Chan, the caring soul he is, was always worried about something. Minho knows how much weight he's carrying around so why would he add to it? He's not good with hiding around him though. 

Minho used to be the master of hiding his pain, his worries, his deepest fears. That's until he met Chan. Those puppy eyes meeting his, strong arms wrapping around him and soft voice surrounding him did things to him he can't describe. If there had been a button to push to make Min open up, Chan would have been the one who found it. And as much as he loves him, Minho hates that. 

He hates that he can't hide from him, not because he doesn't want to open up or doesn't trust his love, but simply because he despises worrying his sweet boy. The way his face falls seeing him in pain or upset, eyes growing dark and wet with worry. The furrow between his brows, the way he speaks so softly Minho isn't sure if Chan will start crying with him any second. Fuck, he hates getting hurt. 

So of course, he doesn't say a word as he trips, practicing the kick for S-Class, hurting his ankle in the process. Minho bites the back of his hand, holding back a scream as he carefully puts his foot back on the floor. This couldn't be happening. He gives himself a few minutes before carefully taking a few steps forward. It hurts like hell but he'll manage. Limping his way to Chan's studio is taking a bigger toll on him than he thought, sweat forming on his forehead. He braces himself at the door, taking deep breaths and puts on a smile as he eventually opens the door. 

Chan doesn't look from his laptop but knows it's him. “Hey, baby? Ready to go home?”

“Yeah, more than ready,” he says, subtly limping his way over to him and bracing himself on his chair. “Still need some time?” he asks gently and Chan hums in response. 

“Like five minutes?” he asks, glancing up at him apologetically. 

“Let's be realistic and say ten, hm?” he suggests, soothingly running his hand through his lover's hair at the worry clouding his eyes. “I'll just wait back there, yeah?”

Chan scoots back with his chair, patting his lap. “Come here? I missed you,” he tells him. 

Minho smiles softly, lowering himself into his lovers lap and raises his eyebrows at him. “My sweet love, it's been an hour since we've last seen each other.”

“Mhm, 60 minutes too much, if you ask me,” he says, making him laugh. 

Minho kisses his forehead lovingly. “Get done with it, love. I need a shower.”

Chan chuckles softly, getting back to work. It's quiet in the room besides the occasional soft clicks of Chan's keyboard. He mindlessly rubs his lower back, smiling as Minho rests his head against his shoulder. 

Minho squints his eyes together as he testingly moves his foot in tiny circles. Okay, not a good idea. Chan wraps up eventually, locks the door and takes Minho's hand. Minho struggles keeping up with him, trying to hide how agonizing every step he takes feels. 

“You're okay? You're walking so slow,” Chan teases him as they reach the elevator. 

“Just really tired,” he tells him with a weak smile. 

Chan frowns softly, brushing his hair back for him. “Why didn't you say so? We could've left earlier,” he says and at Minho's tired shrug he picks him up. 

“Hyungie,” he protests softly, just once more indicating something's wrong. He rarely calls him hyung anymore. “Your back, love, you have to be careful.”

“Min, it's been two months. I'm all good now,” he giggles and gently adjusts Minho's weight as he steps out of the elevator. 

Minho doesn't dare to complain, not wanting to risk revealing how much he's hurting right now. Not having to walk sure helps a little. 

Chan cuddles him close in the backseat of the car, soothingly fondling his head. “Sadly we can't sleep in tomorrow.”

“Yeah, just another long day,” Minho nods, mindlessly rubbing Chan's knee. Shit, that means there's no time to visit their doctor before practice. Especially not in secret. 

Under the shower he realizes the gravity of the situation as his ankle is already swollen and starting to look bruised. Tears of frustration well up in his eyes as reality slowly settles in. There's no chance he could perform in three days. Not with their new intense choreos. There's no way Chan wouldn't notice. Fuck. 

He drags himself to bed, biting back a groan as Chan shuffles in a little later. “Cuddles?” he guesses and Chan nods, almost timidly. 

“Sorry, I can't sleep. There's too much going through my head,” he says and Minho lifts the blanket in response. Chan slips inside next to him, turning onto his side and smiles at him weakly. 

“Go on, let it all out,” Minho encourages him, growing gentle at the worry lacing his boyfriend's face. 

“I just feel like we still have so much to do but so little time. Like, we still had so many missteps today during practice. I still have to finish another two songs and then there's the interview coming up,” Chan rambles on, finding comfort in Minho's understanding dark coffee eyes. 

“Chan?” Minho asks gently. 

“I'm so nervous something will go wrong at the last minute, you know?” he asks timidly, before shaking his head. “Sorry, you were saying?”

Minho opens his mouth and closes it again. He can't. He physically can't tell him. “I love you,” he says instead. “I love you and it'll be okay.”

“Okay,” Chan exhales softly, features relaxing a little. “I love you too, Min. I don't know how I'd manage without you.”

“I'm here,” he promises, swallowing down his guilt. No, there is no use in telling him. Chan deserves a few hours of rest. He watches him fall asleep in his arms after a while and mindlessly plays with his hair. His ankle is pulsing with hot flashes of pain and he carefully adjusts his leg, trying to get more comfortable. After what feels like hours he finally falls asleep. 

-

“Alright, let's do LALALALA and then we're done,” Chan announces and Minho bites back a groan. 

“You're sure? Maybe we should take a break,” Minho suggests. Sweat is slowly forming on his forehead, his ankle is practically screaming for help at this point. “Look at them,” he tries but Chan shakes his head.

“Just that one, then we're done for the day, baby. Then we can all go home,” he says and Minho gives in reluctantly. 

They get into position and the music starts blasting through the room. Minho winces softly at the many little jumps and stomps he has to deliver. His stomach tightens in pain and even though his vision gets blurry he tells himself to pull through. But his body thinks differently and a sudden intense wave of sickness crashes over him. He covers his mouth with his hand in shock, stumbling to the closest bin and throwing up. It only takes a few seconds and he can feel Chan next to him, hesitantly rubbing his back. Minho braces himself at the wall weakly, trying to take off the weight from his ankle, as he coughs helplessly. 

They only turn off the music once he's done and he's grateful for the tiniest bit of decency they offered him. He sits down weakly at the bench nearby and buries his face in his hands with a frustrated groan. 

“Hyung, what's going on?” Felix asks worriedly. 

“Nothing, I just -,” he breaks off meeting his boyfriend's eyes, brimming with tears. “Channie, love,” he says worriedly. “Hey, honey, it's not that bad, I promise,” he tells him. 

“I'm sorry,” Chan says weakly. “You asked for a break, I should've known.”

Minho shakes his head and reaches out for him. “No, come here,” he tries again. 

Changbin quietly gathers the rest to give them some space and Chan moves once they're gone. 

“Why didn't you tell me you were feeling sick?” Chan asks timidly. “Was that why you were so tired yesterday?” 

“I'm not sick,” Minho admits lowly. 

“What? Min, you just threw up in the-.”

“Channie, I'm being stupid. I'm not sick, I swear,” he tells him and Chan blinks at him confused. “And it's also not your fault, love. I shouldn't have done anything today,” he confesses. 

“Are you…Baby, did you get hurt?” Chan asks worriedly and Minho closes his eyes in defeat. “Where?” he asks. 

“Please don't be mad,” Minho says quietly before carefully slipping out of his sneaker. He pulls down his sock a little and anxiously watches Chan take in the sight. 

“Minho.”

“Chan, please.” Minho shakes his head. “Don't.”

“You're such an idiot sometimes,” Chan snaps, surprising them both. 

“I know,” Minho nods, but it still hurts hearing it from Chan. 

“Why wouldn't you tell me? Why do you keep pushing yourself when you're hurt until you can't go on anymore?” he continues, getting up and pacing a small area in front of him. “And why am I still so dumb and believe you?”

“Love,” he tries weakly. 

“No, fuck that right now,” he says firmly and Minho shuts up quickly. “I swear you're driving me insane sometimes,” he says before leaving the room, slamming the door. 

“Wow, thanks,” he sniffles to himself, frustration and pain taking over. “I know that was stupid, that's no reason to leave me here,” he huffs, stubbornly wiping a tear off his cheek. He slips back into his sneaker with a hiss, biting his lower lip hard at the pain shooting through his body. He pushes himself up, yelping in pain as his foot meets the ground. More tears shoot to his eyes and he weakly holds himself up against the wall. 

“Sit down, please,” Chan says, suddenly back in the room. 

“No, fuck you,” Minho bursts out. “I want someone to check this and then I'll drag myself home,” he sniffles. 

“I said sit down, Minho,” Chan speaks firmly and Minho does, not without glaring at him through tears. Chan carefully takes off his shoe again, pulling down his sock again to inspect the damage. “I'm sorry, Min. I shouldn't have snapped,” he says, carefully holding a bag of ice he found in the fridge to his ankle. “I'm just worried about you and it's pissing me off when you start hiding things.”

“Well, I didn't want you to worry,” Minho groans. “You worry too much already, you don't need my bullshit as well.”

“Your bullshit is my bullshit. Always has been, always will. You don't hide from me when you're hurt, you hear me?” he asks, meeting his eyes for the first time since he's back. “I want to trust you, Minho. You have to be honest with me for that.”

Minho chews on his lower lip nervously before giving in with a gentle nod. “Okay.”

“Seeing you throw up in the middle of practice is concerning me much more than your ankle,” he tells him, sighing softly. “How did it happen?”

“I was practicing that kick yesterday and tripped. It's my own fault, I should've stopped once I got tired,” he explains, timidly searching his eyes. “You're still mad at me?”

“No,” Chan sighs. “But we're seeing a doctor, now.”

“Alright,” Minho nods, accepting the bottle of water Chan offers him. “I promise, I'll get better with this.”

“Shh, drink up. We'll talk about this another time, yeah?” he asks gently. “My reckless kitten…”

Minho gently shoves his shoulder. “Stop it, you overprotective lapdog.”

“You better be quiet now,” Chan laughs, picking him up. “Let's get you checked.”

Minho hums gently, hugging him close. “I'm sorry for worrying you, love.”

“Don't be,” Chan says gently, kissing his cheek. “You always come first, yeah?”

“Okay,” Minho smiles sweetly, squeezing him. He should really start telling him sooner; it would benefit them both. 

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[sunvmars]

sour | s.r. [2]

pairing: steve rogers x afab/fem reader

↞ previous | next ↠

word count: 3.2k

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of abortion, pregnancy/pregnant reader- that's ab it

summary: you and steve discuss plans for the pregnancy, steve faces the consequences of his actions

a/n: oh boy have i got a little plot twist coming for y'all soon. also, the chapters will get longer as more of the story is revealed!

“I’m pregnant, Steve.”

Steve's hold on you became a little tighter. He found himself unable to fully process the information you'd just dropped on him; you being pregnant wasn't something he had even considered. You stood still in his arms, allowing him time to process the news and awaiting any type of response from him. He took a deep breath, his mind racing with thoughts and emotions. The words kept repeating in his head; she’s pregnant, she's pregnant, she's…pregnant.

"Steve? Did you hear me?" you questioned, voice slightly muffled by how you were being pressed into his chest.

Only after hearing your voice again did he move. He released his grip on you and took a step back to look you in the eyes. His eyebrows furrowed, his expression containing a mix of disbelief and confusion. There was something else hidden below the surface of his gaze too- a deep-rooted concern. A concern not only for you but for the tiny little life growing inside of you too, the life both of you created.

"What..? I'm sorry, this is just, uhm, wow."

You cock an eyebrow up at him, "That's all you've got to say?"

When he doesn't respond, you scoff. His eyes search the room as he tries to avoid direct eye contact with you.

"Well, now that you've made this abnormally awkward, I think I'm gonna go home now," you chuckle, trying to hide your irritation, ''Since I'm having your baby, please feel free to call me when you've got something else to add, alright?"

He grabs your arm when you turn to leave, "Wait. I'm sorry, y/n. Come inside, please. We can talk in here.”

Reluctantly, you allowed Steve to guide you into the apartment. His grip on your arm stayed gentle but firm like he thought you were gonna turn and run away at any moment. Once fully inside, you noticed how everything seemed so familiar yet foreign at the same time. Most of the pictures were off the wall except for two.

One picture was one that Tony had taken at the beach a year ago. The photo was of you, Steve, and Bucky sitting in the sand. You were laying in Steve's lap with your head resting on his chest while playing rock, paper, scissors with Bucky for the last slice of Steve's birthday cake.

The other photo just had you and Steve on your first date. You'd made him take a picture with you in front of the movie theater you went to. It was the oldest theater in town and, at some point during the night, you made a joke about how the theater was the only thing as old as him in the city.

He'd rolled his eyes at the joke but found himself unable to contain a smile when he saw your face light up as you laughed. You were witty, and that was his favorite thing about you, even if he was on the butt end of the joke. As long as you still had that pretty smile on your face, he didn't care how many jokes you made about him.

The soft, white couch you'd picked out together when the two of you first moved in was still there too and so was your favorite vase. The vase was missing the flowers though- the flowers he'd come home with every Friday without fail. More often than not, the ones he bought the week before weren't even dead yet, but he'd buy you new ones anyways.

"Ma used to tell me that if someone buys you flowers and they don't die for a long time, that means they really love you. But it's unavoidable that they'll die eventually, right? So I figured that if I buy you new ones before the old ones die then you'll never get the chance to forget how much I love you," he explained, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead.

"Right, but what if I forget anyway?" you joked with a smile.

And then he shrugged and gave you a peck on your nose, "Then it's a good thing I'll be right here to remind you, honey," he cooed.

You bit your tongue, forcing the lump in your throat to go back down upon remembering all of the moments you shared. This was your home until just a couple of months ago, and now it felt like you were standing in a shell of what used to be your safe space.

Steve led you to the living room, the last room you'd been in before he gave up on your future together. He gestured for you to take a seat and you plopped into your favorite recliner that didn't even seem like it'd been touched since you left. The tension in the room was palpable as he sat on the far end of the couch, the side farthest away from you.

"You scared I'm gonna bite you or something?" you joked, rubbing a hand over your aching stomach.

He gave a short-lived chuckle before speaking, "Listen, I'm sorry for my reaction," he began, his voice filled with sincerity, "I didn't expect this, and I'm sure you didn't either."

You nodded to show your understanding, "It's alright, this is a lot for both of us."

"What do you wanna do..?"

"Me?"

His brain blanks as he tries to think of whether or not he'd said something wrong.

"Yeah?" he finally says, almost saying it like a question.

"It's not just my decision, Steven. You get a say in this too."

"I do?"

You laugh a little at his confusion, "Yes. You do."

"I'm sorry, it's just that with everything that happened I... I'm trying to say that I'd understand if you didn't want me involved in this decision," he says, looking down at the floor to avoid your eyes.

"Steve, look at me," you begin, pausing until he looks back up at you, "I wouldn't leave this choice up to just me. Whatever decision we make has to work for both of us though."

He looks up at you with surprise etched all over his face, "Thank you, y/n. It's more than I deserve."

"Mhm, tell me about it," you sigh while still rubbing a hand soothingly over your stomach, trying to ease the nausea.

He's silent, avoiding the dreaded breakup conversation. Luckily enough, neither of you are ready to have that discussion yet. He claps his hands together in his lap quietly and clears his throat to get rid of the silence.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

"No, not yet. I have to find a doctor. I'll ask Tony to make the call for me tomorrow."

"So, what do you wanna do?" he asks again, emphasizing the 'you,' "Have you thought about...you know?"

"The alternative? Yeah, I thought about it for a bit, but I think I wanna keep it. I've only known about the little guy for less than an hour and I'm already attached."

What you said was true, you did think about every possible alternative from abortion to adoption; but at some point on the way here, you'd decided on keeping it. You feel a bit of hope when you look down at your stomach. You smile to yourself, momentarily forgetting all your troubles. Though your smile is quickly replaced with a frown when you remember the situation at hand. You look up to lock eyes with him, seeing he's clearly hesitating to respond.

"But if you don't want this, I can raise him or her alone. Y'know, move out of town or move a few states away to be closer to family so there are no unwanted run-ins. The whole nine yards," you say softly, wiping a stray tear off your cheek.

"Oh, y/n," he mumbles, "I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this- I didn't want any of this."

You take in his words, trying to make sense of them. You felt your heart beginning to break as he remained silent. How can he just give up so easily before it even gets hard? Not that you'd pressure him into raising a kid he didn't want, I mean you did give him the choice, but his words still come as a surprise.

"So, the whole nine yards it is then?"

"I'm sorry, y/n..."

“I need you to look at me and say it, please.”

Steve looked around the room, appearing as though he was about to cry. His eyes finally land on you and you swear there's bits of guilt and regret in them.

"I don't want this baby."

That was all you needed. Hearing him say the words to you only solidified that y/n l/n and Steve Rogers didn't stand another damn chance. You sniffled as you stood up, trying to conceal any glimpse of sadness he could possibly see in you. You make your way to the door and go to turn the handle only for him to start speaking and stop you in your tracks.

"Y/n. I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't expecting any of this. I don't know what I want yet."

"Of course you do, Steven, you just said it," you say with a fake smile as you turn to look at him, "I'm not upset with you for not wanting this, but I'm disappointed that you're not the man I thought you were. If you change your mind, you know where to find me, but decide soon because I won't let you be in and out of our lives."

With that, you leave and quietly shut the door behind you.

The drive back to the tower is entirely too slow and painful. You slipped your shoes off once back inside the comfort of your room and made your way to the bathroom to run a bath. After sinking in the warm bubbles and water, you unlocked your phone to unblock Steve's number. You awaited a text as you bathed- a text that never came, that is. You felt a little silly for ever thinking he'd want this with you but brush the feeling off quickly as it makes you feel physically sick.

You dry off, slip into your favorite night clothes, then slip under your covers. After trying to fall asleep for four hours and either waking up after a few minutes or not being able to fall asleep at all, you text Bucky to see if he's awake. It's about 3 a.m., but he responds after only five minutes to tell you he's coming to your room. The fact that he knew you wanted him to come over without saying it had a smile spreading across your lips.

When he arrived, you hugged him tightly and let out a shaky breath you'd been holding. He pulled away from the hug and looked at you with a concerned expression painted on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asks, hands resting on your arms.

"I'm pregnant, Buck."

You laugh a little to hide the way your voice cracked but Bucky sees right through it. He frowns at the sight of you, taking in the dark bags under your eyes and your skin that was paler than your usual tone.

"Let's go sit down, yeah?" he smiles warmly.

The two of you sit on your bed in silence as you lay your head on his shoulder. You make small talk after a few minutes, Bucky mainly asking questions about what you plan to do and how you feel.

"I'm guessing you told Steve?" he inquires.

He feels you nod slowly against his shoulder and he takes it as a sign to continue.

"And how did he take it?"

You shrug before speaking, "It seemed like he wanted to be a part of it all at first...then he said he didn't want this, but then he said he wasn't sure."

"Huh," he sighs out of confusion, "You know I'm here for you though, right? Both of you are my best friends, no matter how stupid he's being."

"I know you are," you reply.

"I know it's early and all, but have you thought about if you want a girl or boy?" he asks cautiously, worried the topic might upset you, "If you keep it, that is," he quickly adds.

"Buck, can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I went to Steve's to get his input, but I think I decided to keep it as soon as I found out about it. I hate Steve so much right now, but this baby is a piece of both of us. I can't bring myself to get rid of something so innocent just for being a part of him," you explain, "I know it's not that simple for other people, but I did want kids with him eventually. I'm not unhappy with the pregnancy, I'm unhappy with the circumstances. Boy or girl, I'll be overjoyed either way."

He smiles to himself briefly, "You've got the biggest heart, you know that? You'll be a wonderful mother, y/n, and I mean that."

As hard as he tries to come up with an explanation for his friend's odd behavior, he can't. He'd promised you that he wouldn't go digging for answers when you broke up, you'd told him you didn't care to know and that it wasn't his problem. You're his friend, so he respected that. But now? Now it wasn't just you that Steve was abandoning, which meant that now he had to have answers.

Your breathing slows after a little bit, a sign that he recognizes as you getting sleepy. Slowly, he lays down, cradling your body so that you lay down with him. He lets you rest your head on him as he strokes your hair back soothingly. He waits until he hears your soft snores to gently ease your head onto your pillow before getting off the bed. He'd decided that he was going to get answers, even if it was three-forty in the morning.

Back at the apartment, Steve had only moved once to turn off the lights, pour a glass of alcohol, and sit in your recliner. He would never say it now but he hated being alone in the apartment without you. This wasn't his home, and it never was, not without you there with him. The space that used to be filled with your laughter and your love now felt void of anything other than cold. He sat in the dark, alone with his thoughts, as he did almost every night since you broke up.

His phone buzzed, startling him out of his thoughts. The timing of him getting a message was unusual given the late hour. He picked up the phone and saw it was from Bucky, he smiled softly in hopes that his friend would offer some sort of help. He was sadly mistaken.

Bucky: We need to talk.

Steve frowned at the cryptic message as he typed a response.

Steve: About what?

Bucky's reply was swift.

Bucky: You know exactly what.

A knock sounded at the door no more than ten minutes later. He sighed, mentally preparing himself for whatever talking to he was about to get.

"It's open," he called out.

The door opened to reveal Bucky. As he walked in, the light from outside lit up his face and allowed Steve to see his expression of concern and irritation. He closed the door behind him and then turned to face Steve.

"I'm starting to worry you're turning into a vampire or something, punk. Why are you sitting with all the lights off again? Haven't we had this talk before?" he questions, flipping the overhead light on, "Have you been crying again?"

Steve groans and rubs his wet eyes with his free hand, "No," he lies.

His eyes narrow in Bucky's direction as he walks towards where he's sitting. Steve then brings the drink up to his lips to take a sip only to have it yanked away.

"Buck-"

"Now this is new, is this alcohol?" Bucky asks, bringing the glass up to his nose only to recoil at the scent, "Steve, oh my God, What is in this?"

"Whiskey, tequila, a little bit of everything. Well, everything she left here."

Bucky looks away, desperately trying to contain a laugh, "You can't even get drunk. What are you doing? What's the end goal here?"

"The taste helps me forget how big of an idiot I am," Steve confesses as he snatches his drink back, "It's like a punishment."

"Glad you know you're an idiot, it makes my job here easier."

"Did she send you over here," Steve asks, looking up at Bucky through his eyelashes.

"No, she didn't. But she told me what happened and I came here on my own," Bucky responds, "You know as well as I do that she can fight her own battles."

"Then why are you here?"

"To check on you. And like you said, you're an idiot. I'm here to figure out why you're being such an idiot, though. Whatever Steve you've been for the last four months isn't the Steve I know."

When he doesn't answer, Bucky continues talking, "I've let this go on for far too long. I should've asked when I noticed you were acting weird, but I chalked it up to how rough that last Hydra mission was. But this whole baby thing is the last straw, Steve. I've had to put up with your dumb decisions recently, I deserve an explanation. The woman carrying your child does more so, but we'll get to that."

Steve let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped as he realized there was no escaping the conversation. Bucky had always been a straightforward friend. For as long as they knew each other, he was never one to beat around the bush, and he wasn't about to start letting Steve get away with stuff now.

"I don't even know where to start," Steve admits, his voice laced with frustration.

He takes another sip of his drink, hoping it might give him the kick he needs to explain himself. His face turns up at the taste and Bucky tries yet again to conceal a laugh.

"Okay, enough of that," he says, taking the drink back out of Steve's hands.

Bucky crosses his arms and sits on the end of the couch closest to Steve, giving him a stern look, "How about you try starting with why you decided to walk away from her? She's the best thing that ever happened to you, Steve, we both know that."

Steve winces at his words. He knew Bucky was right, as he usually was, but facing the same truth every day didn't make it hurt any less. It actually hurt worse since he knew that this entire situation was his fault.

"So?" Bucky says, urging Steve to speak.

Bucky instinctively brings the glass up to his lips and takes a sip. His expression turns from understanding to disgust as he spits the drink back into the cup.

Steve chuckles under his breath, "Habit?"

"Think it was the feeling of the cup in my hand, not sure why I did that. Guess old habits do die hard," Bucky explains, "Anyways, get to the explaining."

"I... I don't know, Buck. I messed up, bad."

"We already know that, care to elaborate?" Bucky prodded.

"It wasn't up to me, Buck," Steve sighs, speaking again when he sees Bucky's confused look, "Remember that Hydra mission you were just talking about?"

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to be added to or removed from the tag list for this series, leave a comment or message me :) submissions and asks are now also open

[thesummerestsolstice]

In my post about the strange residents of Rivendell, I mentioned a Feanorian die-hard and an old bodyguard of Thingol. I recently hit a thousand reblogs– which is amazing! So in honor of that, I'm writing their stories out. This is part one, I'll get the rest out over the next couple days.

The Feanorian Die-hard: Hrivossa

Maedhros' right hand at Himring, a dedicated captain with an axe and a burning hatred of Morgoth

Laiquendi former thrall, captured during the First Battle of Beleriand; when the Laiquendi king Denethor was killed

Was refused entry to Doriath after escaping from Angband– at this point, most escaped prisoners were thought to be sleeper agents sent to get information for Morgoth

Wandered for the next few years, mostly alone, occasionally finding Elvish towns that feared her because of the marks of Morgoth's torture and thought her one of his puppets

Ended up stumbling across one of Maedhros's orc hunting parties in the Early First Age, and jumped at the chance to actually fight Morgoth

Maedhros was also one of the only lords willing to help former thralls at that point; he gaze Hrivossa a new home and purpose, fighting alongside him against their shared tormentor

It's not hard to understand why she became so loyal to the Feanorian cause

This is also when she took the Quenya name Hrivossa, "winter wall," because she was as frigid and unbreakable as Himring's walls

(her original Nandor name is mostly for her close friends)

Between Denethor's death and hiding in Doriath with Melian instead of doing anything about Morgoth, Hrivossa absolutely hates Thingol

She's generally a cold person around strangers, but she warms up around her friends, and her wits and tongue are as sharp as her sword

Part of the general morbid humor culture that built up in First Age Himring

She does not have a soft spot for the Sindar claiming that the Silmaril belongs to them now

She does have a noticeable soft spot for small half-elves who keep pestering her for stories about what life was like in Beleriand before the sun and moon

She fought with Maedhros until the bloody, bitter end, being forcefully brought into the custody of Valinor's forces late in the War of Wrath

She was the leader of the Feanorian faction who chose not to submit to the Valar's judgement, or to willingly go to Aman to do penance

They generally made themselves trouble while in custody

To avoid any more ugly conflict, Elrond eventually took responsibility for this faction, becoming their lord (though Elrond did NOT become Lord of the House of Feanor) and promising to keep them from committing any more violent acts

Hrivossa and the others, all of whom had lived in Amon Ereb and helped raised Elrond, found this agreeable

All of these elves are still very much see Elrond as their Lords' child, who must be protected at all costs, so there's that

And that is the story of how Elrond became responsible for the remaining Feanorians, but only the really fucked up ones

Seriously, they don't do any other murders, but they do cause all sorts of other trouble

Also, how Elrond inherited one (1) extremely determined bodyguard

[obscuremantisman]

By reading most fanfics with this fella, i realized that most of you want a kiss from this thing, so i decided to make some extra headcanons that are romantic ones.

⪧ I appreciate criticism, ideas, and your opinions. ⪦

Wow! You somehow managed to swoon and date Eyeless Jack! Why are you like this? Now, now, don't expect much from him. This thing has never been on the market after transformation.

Let's start off with gifts.

Eyeless Jack would hunt down a human heart, put some sauce he found in your kitchen that he knew you frequently used in your food, and give it to you, expecting you to pet his head and eat it.

If you express your dislike, he'd 'stare' at you for a long time, trying to figure out why you would not like such a perfect meal. Perhaps he should've put extra sauce.

Expect Eyeless Jack giving you inoffensive nibbles around, especially your fingers. it's his way of demonstrating to you that he doesn't see you as food and instead as something more special, or he just likes munching on soft things, who knows.

Although you shouldn't ever let him bite near any wounds, nor break any skin, you will get multiple diseases and eventually die, Jack has an inhuman immunity, you don't.

You knew that Jack was mostly active during the night. That was pretty obvious. But did you know that he oh so likes hanging out at night inside your home?

You were having a good time. It was the weekend, no work, no stress, the perfect time for a marathon night. you bit on a healthy bar, so much to see and no time to waste, you had everything prepared.

After some good time, you ran out of snacks, and so you got up, popping your shoulders, your back cracking in the process as you walked to open the door, walking around the house for the kitchen.

When you opened the fridge, taking a small piece of cake for yourself, a loud scream is pulled out of you as you see Jack appear just beside you, the cake in your hand almost being smashed into Jack's face.

Eyeless Jack is too accustomed to using his mask, mostly taking it off to eat, so if he tried kissing you, there's a great chance you'd get bonked instead.

Seeing as he's definitely some kind of cold-blooded creature. On raining days, he'll be cuddling you with a fierce grip, using you as a heater. If you're strong enough to carry him around, expect him to clutch to you like a koala. it's almost ridiculous sometimes. He'd go as far to clutch to your leg in attempts of staying with you, his personal heater. Even when you're cooking, does his arms ever get tired?

Ever since you've talked about random couple things and mentioned borrowing clothes, you have catched him using your clothes more than once, that's for sure. It's definitely an interesting sight, especially if you're smaller than him. One thing's for sure, he's so smelly that you had to buy a whole laundry bottle just for the clothes he borrows.

A great way for him to know the path to your house is by scenting around it, he leaves a disgusting black substance around your grass, making your home smell putrid, the smell being so bad that neighbors have complained to you multiple times.

So when he takes notice that his own partner has been getting rid of his scent, he feels just slightly offended. He has totally not been keeping a big distance and giving you a deep judging stare despite not having eyes nor being able to see. That's just your imagination.

sorry if these are not so good, i'm not accustomed to writing romantic stuff.

Non-Dating headcanons

[starlight-writer]

How They Cuddle

A/n: Started this while I was stuck in traffic with a tornado warning going on. Later found out 4 touched down around me so basically God said I couldn't die until I posted this

Warnings: none, fluff, angst, semi serious? Talks of death, read with that in mind on Jake's part

Gn! Reader Masterlist

Steven

Tummy hugger

Doesn't matter the size, how hot it is inside, he will latch onto your waist and rest his head on your tummy

Prefers a bare tummy so he can feel your soft skin, but he's happy as long as he gets to hold you

And if you pet his head or play with his hair too? He's a goner

Those sleeping problems he has from time to time? Gone

Those night terrors that keep him up for hours? A thing of the past

He sleeps best when it's with you and when it's on your perfect, soft, warm tummy? He sleeps like a baby

There are, of course, nights where he's had a really bad day and he needs a bit more from you

Those are the nights where he'll ask you to lay on him

He wants to be surrounded by the thing he loves the most

And if you even try to say 'oh, I'll crush you!' he will forcibly pull you on top of him

"Yea right, you forget I was an avatar of Khonshu, love. I'm buff as fuck." He would mumble while burying his head in your hair or shoulder

It's not necessarily a lie, but it gets you to laugh

Pressure therapy is strong with this one

He has so many weighted blankets, it's ridiculous

And usually he doesn't use them now that he has you, but when there are days when you're not home or don't feel like cuddling, Steven will break out his massive pile of weighted blankets

It's honestly really cute seeing Steven all bundled up and only his head poking out of a mountain of blankets

Marc

Lays directly on top of you

Lowkey scared of crushing you so it takes a while for him to admit how he'd prefer to cuddle, but it happens eventually

Marc wants to protect you, you're the love of his life and he couldn't take it if he lost you

So he lays on you to be your shield

If anyone breaks into the apartment, which they probably wouldn't even make it past the front door before Marc absolutely destroys them, but if they do he's the first one they'll attack

And as long as you're safe, he's happy

It's a deeper reason than the others, but it's true

If he's had a bad day, it'll be different

He'll curl up into you, looking so small and vulnerable

He'll bury his face in your chest and hold onto you like you're his life line

Which you are

If you play with his hair and rub his back, maybe even hum to him, he'll pass out in no time

He feels safe in your arms and while he's not used to feeling so vulnerable, he feels like he can be with you

On the other hand, there are very rare nights where Marc will ask you to suffocate him

Not really, of course

He just needs the pressure of you laying on top of him to chase away his dark thoughts

Works every time

Not during nightmares though

Never try that during or after a nightmare

Marc will panic so hard, he might accidentally hurt you and he would rather die than do that to you

Jake

Jake is a little different than Steven and Marc

He doesn't have a preference of cuddles, as long as he can feel your skin somewhere on him, he's ok

It's not in a weird way though

If he can feel your skin, he can feel how warm you are and if he can feel how warm you are, he knows you're not dead

It's morbid, but he's seen so much and caused so much death so he's trying to reassure himself that you're not dead too

He'll have his hands under your shirt and resting on your hips, or hike your leg over his hip to feel your thighs, or sleep with his cheek pressed against your tummy

Anywhere is fair game to him as long as you're comfortable

But then there are nights where he would rather die than feel your skin

It's usually nights where he's had to kill quite a few people and while he usually handles death quite well, he has you now

He's learned to be something other than a tool for Khonshu and a shield for Marc and Steven

Those nights, he'll lay next to you and watch you breathe

The only part of you he touches is your wrist to feel your heart beat

Similar to Steven, he will ask you to occasionally lay on him, just so he can feel you pressed up against him

Not in a sexual way, though he's not ashamed to admit he would enjoy that, just in a way so he can feel a bit more of you than he normal would

And honestly, when as asks you to lay on him, it leads to some kind of make out session

[waterfrontcomplex]

CYCRANE KILLER - A YANQING SERIAL KILLER AU

TW/CW FOR MURDER, VIOLENCE, DISMEMBERMENT, GENERAL MENTAL INSTABILITY, MENTIONS OF ABUSE

AU INFO ↓

after the disastrous battle at dragonprayer terrace, yanqing is left disheartened, confused, and alone. he was just defeated by 2 criminals, and the one person he trusted with his whole being left him there with no explanation.

he gets healed at the alchemy commission, and returns home. jing yuan eventually recovers, and... everything returns to some sense of normalcy. no 'i'm sorry', no 'are you okay?', no nothing. he receives assignments as usual, and goes through with them with ease.

during an assignment in cloudford, he encounters a man who was on the run and had a warrant out for his arrest for domestic abuse. yanqing pursued the man until he accidentally cornered him with some particularly violent mara-struck, and was killed before he could stop them.

that night, he couldn't stop thinking about the man. he had let a civilian die. but... that man was a terrible person. he had a family that loved him, and he hurt them in return. yanqing felt an unexplainable burst of 'satisfaction' or even 'happiness'. that man would never hurt anybody again.

a terrible idea appeared in his head. what if he purposely killed people like those?

it's extremely illegal and goes against his duty as a cloud knight, but they would deserve it and he's just so, so frustrated. so, he looks into a couple cases and finds one he takes interest in. if he wants to go through with this, he can't use yanzhuo or his ice swords; it would make his identity too obvious. he grabs a blade he's been itching to test out, dons a cloak and leaves during the night.

the break-in and murder is easy enough. most people on the luofu stand no chance against him. adrenaline is rushing through his veins, and now there's a body on the floor and his dagger is covered in blood.

the cleanup is simple; he has the knowledge and resources available to make it look as if his target had just vanished during the night. he dismembers and disposes of the body and returns home. he had just killed another civilian... but they were a terrible person— no, they're not even a person. they're just vermin, unworthy of the title of 'human' and waiting to be eliminated. he feels static in his head.

in the following weeks, he does his best to avoid searching up information about his target. yanqing listens in to gossip instead, and gathers that they had been reported missing but no traces were found. he had gotten away with murder.

and he was going to do it again.

the next few nights, he claims more lives; lives of those unworthy of them. after the murders, the static in his head clears, but comes back later. they disappear during the night without a trace.

while disposing of a body, yanqing encounters a partially broken down cycrane with sentience, like his swords. he fixes it up, and it says it doesn't want to 'return to a mundane life of endless deliveries', so he takes it home and hides it. after a bit of searching, he gives it a name: rosebane.

the cases are starting to catch the attention of the higher-ups. the public now knows about the 'mysterious disappearances', and rumors start spreading like wildfire. some claim it's a monster, other say it's a stalker, and some are claiming that it's a whole group of people. nobody suspects him a bit. tensions are high.

yanqing doesn't want the public to worry too much. rumors of a monster could put the cloud knights on high alert. if he let any witnesses see him, they would know it was a human. and if he brings rosebane, they would know it's the same person, and not a group of people. rosebane wouldn't reveal anything about his real identity, and would be particularly useful for tracking down targets. a monster would be extremely concerning, but a person would be... hopefully less concerning. and with a cycrane, it would lead the investigators away from him.

during his next murder, he chooses a time where there would be a witness, and commits the crime, leaving the body. word gets out, and news of the 'cycrane killer' is everywhere. yanqing masks his nervousness as worry for jing yuan, but he doesn't fully buy it.

he's not crazy, he's not insane at all. he doesn't kill for the adrenaline rush, or to clear the static in his head, or for whatever other reason.

he's just... doing the luofu a favor.

☆⋆⋅───────

RELATIONSHIPS

YANQING -> ROSEBANE

friendly. they are extremely close, but can't talk much since yanqing shouldn't bring them out during the day. they're partners in crime, bound to their secret. he finds their sentience interesting.

YANQING -> JING YUAN

tense. yanqing partly blames jing yuan for his... new hobby. he still cares and would never hurt him on purpose, but he's extremely frustrated and confused. he mainly wants an explanation but feels as if he has no right to ask for one. yanqing also has to tread lightly around jing yuan to avoid him figuring out about his murders.

YANQING -> FU XUAN

cautious. if fu xuan suspects him of anything, she could easily rat him out with the matrix of prescience. he's been keeping his distance.

JING YUAN -> YANQING

worry. jing yuan knows yanqing's upset and has been acting strangely ever since he recovered. he also knows that his retainer is hiding something, but doesn't know what.

[yanderes-galore]

OW2

Romantic Yan! Mauga One-shot

This is an idea which suddenly came to my mind. Mauga with Fem! Talon member! Darling, who disappeared during one of the missions.

While the she is listed as a Talon's escaped traitor, she is imprisoned by Mauga on an island in Samoa, because Mauga considered her too fragile for such work, even if she can stand up for herself.

He won't let his Teuila get hurt.

I saw this request and immediately had an idea for it so this is the first one I'm doing 😎 Since Mauga came out yesterday I gotta give the Mauga content, yeah? (indulging in my birthday gift).

Not really edited, may have spelling mistakes, I appreciate feedback!

Traitor

Yandere! Mauga Short

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Restraints, Kissing, Babying implied, Threats, Forced relationship.

"Status on the traitor issue?" The leader of Talon, Doomfist, asks some of his most lethal members in a call.

"Surprisingly, nothing yet." Sombra answers the call of her "boss". "Are we so sure she's a traitor and didn't just... die in combat?"

"Is that not what we thought about Baptiste?" Doomfist brings up, making Sombra look disgruntled for just a moment.

"I guess you're right. A shame, really, she was really good at what she did." Sombra sighs.

"We'll find her and bring her to you." Reaper answers the call from behind Sombra.

"You better, I want answers." Doomfist threats before regaining composure. "Now, where's Mauga?"

"With us, although we're dropping him back off in Samoa for business." Sombra answers. "Then we're taking the jet back to base."

"Understood. Let me know what you find." Doomfist confirms before ending the call.

As Sombra and Reaper discussed what to do next, Mauga had his back turned to them. The smirk on his face was large once the call was over. Oh, they always seem to think he's just a dumb brute.

He's more capable than they think.

He wouldn't tell them what he did. Sure, this is eerily similar to the Baptiste incident, but he'd never admit to it. All the mountain of a man cared about was going back to Samoa now.

They could look all they want...

But Mauga would be sure they never found what they were looking for.

The sound of waves is what greets your ears when you awaken. You feel nervousness pool in your stomach as sit up. You sigh when you still see the same chain around you ankle and wrists, along with the door still locked.

You've been here for awhile. You're aware this is a home of a fellow Talon member and that this is Samoa. You've been here... for months you assume?

Unfortunately you were never alone for long.

You barely want to acknowledge the originally locked door sliding open before Mauga steps inside. You already know it's him. Even before his orange shirt catches your eyes. You instead opt to look away and stay in the hammock.

"They think you're a traitor, y'know." Mauga tells you, locking the door again. "That's good, means they don't know I took you."

"They'll find me eventually." You find yourself answering, the Samoan man looking over to you.

"Do you really think I'd let them take you? They wouldn't last against me." Mauga growls. You hear him walk over to you and tower over you.

"You know when they find us they may just kill us both. I was fine when we just did our damn job." You say bitterly. You stop yourself when Mauga pulls you to a sitting position from the chains on your wrists.

"Teuila, you're weak." Mauga hums. "I took you from the job because of such a flaw. You needed to be partnered with someone much stronger, permanently... like me."

Mauga then pulls you out of the hammock. You feel yourself picked up by his large form and pressed against his chest. You then hear him laugh, no doubt due to the size difference between you.

"Face it, Talon was never for you. You don't have the bloodlust or the strength. Aren't you aware of how easy it is to hurt you?" Mauga explains before laying in the hammock with you. You hear him sigh in a relaxed tone as he cages you to his chest.

"I was a great spy...." You hiss.

"All it would take is one skilled shot and you'd be gone, Teuila." Mauga counters. "Do you know what would happen after?"

"What?" You ask just to humor him, only for him to push your face closer to his.

"I'd kill them all~" Mauga grins. "Talon, Overwatch, doesn't matter. I'd make them all bleed if I lost you. I'd even enjoy every second of it."

Mauga then laughs at the shock on your face. You feel him pet your your head before leaning in to kiss your lips. The taste makes your stomach flip before he pulls away.

"So I guess, with that thought, I wouldn't mind if we were both traitors on the run." Mauga smiles, licking his lips. "As long as I get to keep you and do what I want."

You feel him caress your cheek before settling with you. You notice he undoes his shirt, presumably to tease you. Instead you try not to pay any mind.

"Hear those waves?" Mauga asks, you nod. "Someday I plan to take you outside to them. Maybe at night. You know better than to run, right?"

You can see the predatory glare in Mauga's gaze when he asks you. Hesitantly you nod, still unnerved from the threat he said before. For now, you'll continue to play along with Mauga. Not like you have anywhere else to go.

Without Mauga... Talon will find you.

Perhaps that means Mauga is all you have now... it may be better to have him on your side after all.

[anticanonsposts]

i love your writing so much! you’re literally my favorite blog!🩷 i know you write the könig loves plus size girls (thank you omg) and as a plus size girlie myself could you write something about him having a SO that is struggling with body image and just a little insecure? it could be whatever! thank you 🩷🩷

eeeeee thank you so much omg I'm really glad ppl like my account

And yes this is a hill that I will die and be buried on that he likes plus sized girls idgaf. That being said this post is in no way attempting to body shame any sort of body type!!! All bodies can be healthy and you need to eat enough and nourish yourself!! That being said, if I have to read one more fanfic about the reader having a stomach bulge during (nsfw) I might scream :D BUT no hate to anyone that writes that, we write what we want/like!!

Anyways here's a little one-shot about anon's scenario, completely sfw

cw: talks about body insecurities, self hatred a little bit, little angst

Taking another deep breath you tried again to smooth out the fabric of the dress you were trying on. A family member had a wedding coming up and you needed a dress for it. So, since you didn’t have too much money to spend you decided to go to Target. Also the fact that most stores in a mall wouldn’t have anything that fit you anyway.

Let’s just say the trip wasn’t going well. You picked out dress after dress, that you thought would be appropriate for the wedding and none of them were fitting how you wanted. They were all too tight in the wrong places and too loose in others. As well as the fact that the dressing rooms were stifling hot, the bright lights were overwhelming you, and lately you had been doubting yourself big time. 

Patiently sitting outside the dressing room, your boyfriend König was diligently waiting. You had stopped showing him options after dress #3, your mood seemed to dampen after each dress. Eventually you decided that you would buy a dress on a different day. Nothing was fitting, nothing was feeling good, and you knew anything you’d buy would make you upset later. 

All of your swirling thoughts of how you look, especially compared to most of the other people in the Target, compared to the mannequins, etc got too much for you and your eyes started to well up a bit. You were thankful that you two needed nothing else from Target, so you could promptly make your escape. 

Exiting the dressing room, failed dresses in hand, you get König’s attention and place those stupid fucking dresses on the ‘didn’t work out’ rack.  

“Ok, I’m ready to go, none of them worked out, do you need anything?” you turn and ask König, pointedly avoiding eye contact because you just needed to get out of there. 

“N-No, I’m ready to go” he responds, definitely noticing a shift in your mood, but he didn’t wanna push it until you got to the car.

Once in the car, before he even has the chance to ask you if anything is wrong you start talking about anything you can get your mind on. Dinner plans, what he’ll wear to the wedding, what movie he wants to watch tonight. 

When you guys get home and settled, you decide to start making dinner. You are unsuccessfully trying to push your insecure thoughts away and not let them fill your mind. It isn’t working. You want to just forget about it and enjoy your night with König but surprise surprise the plan of bottling your emotions wasn’t working. 

Eventually you were broken out of your haze, feeling König walk up behind you. His hands snaking their way first along your hips then around your middle. His hands rest against your abdomen as he presses his lips against your neck. Then his hands give your stomach a slight squeeze in between his fingers. And that’s what does it.

A waterfall of tears start falling from your eyes and you shrug him off, taking a step back from the stove. 

“Hey, hey, hey what’s going on?” König asks softly, turning you around to face him.

“It’s nothing” you dismiss immediately, leaning back on the countertop. 

“Clearly it's something Liebe, please, talk to me” he responds, he was not gonna let you dismiss this. 

You take another deep breath while he moves the pot that had been on the stove to a different burner, and switches the stove off. So that his full attention could be on you.

“I just feel shitty today I don’t know” you say, which just earns an eyebrow raise from him (god dammit he will get you to articulate your feelings). “You know I usually like how I look, but sometimes I still get insecure. And I don’t know, today while shopping seeing so many photos of thinner people, and then none of the dresses fitting right, I just-” you’re cut off by a deep breath in, trying to keep your crying under control. I just feel like you could be with someone who looks different, who’s thinner, who’s more in shape.” you finish now just blubbering at this point. All of the feelings you had tried to ignore all day exploding. 

Shrinking a bit, you cover your face with your hands and start sobbing into them. You feel so ashamed and humiliated, you don’t even want to look him in the eyes. 

König as you said all of this only felt his heart wrenching. How could you, someone who was so perfect and beautiful think that you aren’t good enough for him. Obviously you weren’t skinny but that's part of why he loved you so much. Had he done something to make you believe differently? 

“Y/n please listen to me ok,” he finally says, honestly trying not to cry himself, gently lifting you onto the countertop behind you, so that he can stand between your legs, barely any space between you. “I. Love. Everything. About you. Please don’t doubt that. You are nearly my everything. And I want you to tell me when you feel this way ok? It's my job to support you, just like you are so kind to me.”

This of course just sends you into even higher hysterics, arms now draped around his shoulders, sobbing into his chest, he pulls you closer in return, rubbing his hands up and down your back. 

He cradles your head with his left hand, giving your head kisses as you continue crying. 

“Thank you König, I’m sorry I’m such a mess-” you start.

“Uh uh uh, no apologies. You’re ok.” he quickly interrupts you. 

A few more minutes past, as you get all of your crying out, trying to slow down and regulate your breathing.

“Also…Liebling, do you think that I lift all that weight in the gym to only lift weight in the gym???” 

Which earns a boisterous laugh from you, both of you pulling away from each other enough so that you are face to face. “Thank you König” you say, wiping away the last of your tears from your cheeks. 

“I mean, y/n you’ve told  me that you usually like physically bigger men, so is it so outlandish that I would feel the same way about women?” he continues earning a shy look from you. 

“I guess…” you mumble back. 

“Mmmhhmm.” he responds sarcastically, getting you to finally laugh before pulling your lips to his with a hand on your jaw. 

“Now, should we finish up dinner and get that movie started?” 

Getting a nod from you in return. You get off the counter and then finish making dinner and have a wonderful evening with your boyfriend. 

[fairyhaos]

seventeen and being in a corn maze

how well i think svt will be able to navigate through a corn maze

notes: tbh i think i'm wonwoo. 'maize maze' is actually hilarious okay.

masterlist

seungcheol:

makes it a competition to see who can come out of the maze the fastest. intentionally booked it during the day, bc there was no way he was going to risk going in the evening and scaring himself to death while surrounded by stalks of corn. zooms through the maze like he's the flash or something, only encounters one member (hansol, who looks extremely lost) before he manages to escape in just under 2 hours. makes sure to greet every member that comes out after him to tell them that he won

jeonghan:

goes in, like, 5 times. he keeps pretending to go in before just walking back out again, and poor junhui has to be the one to eventually walk all the way back to the maze entrance, grab jeonghan's hand, and physically drag him through the first few turns of the maze, bc seungcheol insisted that everyone had to take part in this competition. is terrible at escaping mazes, tells junhui they should just give up. starts singing really obnoxiously about how they're all gonna die here and how this really was a bad idea and he should have just stayed at home. even so, he n junhui end up being the 4th and 5th people to leave the maze, only bc junhui was so excited to escape (and everyone else was so terrible) 

joshua:

probably one of the most chill about the maze. was saddled with seokmin bc the younger man was way too scared to enter the maze by himself. is the one that tells all of them as they're entering the maze that if they just stick together they could make it out of the maze super quickly and all at once… no one listens to him. holds seokmin's hand the entire time; reassures him every few minutes that they will manage to escape the maze eventually n they won't be stuck here forever. strolls super casually through the maze like they're taking a walk in the countryside, which they basically are. that is, until his hay fever starts to be activated (by corn, of all things) and so he has to start hurrying along to get out of the sneeze maze

junhui:

was almost going to beat seungcheol before jeonghan sent them all a photo of him still standing at the entrance. was told to go back to the beginning and retrieve their second eldest member bc apparently escaping a corn maze was an activity in which participation was mandatory. nevertheless, he is Unfazed!! practically skips through the maze, despite jeonghan being the personification of doom and gloom behind him, pats his hyung on the back n tells him not to worry n that they'll get out soon :D

hoshi:

competitive for all of half an hour before his vision starts blurring and all he can see are giant green walls. gets lost, tells himself that he'll be great at living the rest of his life as a Nature Man in the maze. sits in the dead end for a good hour or so. somehow manages to make friends with five sparrows in the maze. is considering whether he should begin his tiger transformation in the middle of the corn maze when he's found by one of the workers who apparently was watching him talk to the sparrows for an hour straight. ends up being escorted out of the maze by them

wonwoo:

has to go really slowly bc mingyu refuses to let go of his shirt. could have definitely beaten seungcheol if he wanted to, bc he's a nerd and actually studied how to escape corn mazes during the drive there. keeps saying "maize maze" over and over again to himself. doesn't get lost, but does run into many dead ends bc mingyu keeps tugging him into a path that he thinks is safer. almost walks straight into the hedge at one point. demands that mingyu let him climb onto his back, is almost able to see over the top of the maze with their combined height. manages to drag mingyu out of the maze eventually

woozi:

walks really leisurely. he knows he's not going to win the competition that seungcheol set up, so he takes his time. he might not enjoy socialising and going out of his studio, but being in a blissfully quiet maze (punctuated occasionally by the members' screams) helps relax him and clear his mind. runs into dead ends half of the time, but that's okay bc it only prolongs his walks. composes the hook of five different songs in his head as he's staring up at the blue sky. gets told off by seungcheol at the end for not having any sort of competitive spirit at all. had a good time, but probably wouldn't go again bc the soles of his feet hurt and his cheeks were a little bit irritated from being brushed against the leaves of corn constantly

minghao:

is somehow super speedy at finishing the maze. ditches mingyu with wonwoo as soon as he sees the elder, then has disappeared round the corner before wonwoo can even start voicing a complaint. is grinning the entire time, practically skipping through the maze. almost runs over a mother with her daughter, stops for a few minutes to say hello and has a really sweet exchange with the girl who won't stop telling him how handsome he looks. gets really shy and blushes afterwards, spends a whole five minutes collecting himself before he's back on track towards his goal again. is the 3rd to leave the maze

mingyu:

coward. tries to hold onto minghao the entire time, is then dumped onto wonwoo. subsequently spends the entire maze gripping onto wonwoo's shirt tightly so that he can't saddle him with another member like that traitor minghao did. shakes so badly the whole time, even though it's daylight and actually kind of hot in the maze. insists that he has The Best intuition and keeps on leading him and wonwoo down dead ends. screams every time the leaves brush against his arm. practically crawls out of the exit of the maze, still clinging to wonwoo's shirt, and vows to never ever go into one of those things again

dokyeom:

isn't really scared like mingyu, but is very much worried that he'll get lost and never ever be able to come out. holds joshua's hand the entire time. wanted to backhug the guy and practically hang off him the entire time, but shua said no bc it would be difficult to walk. has an almost panic attack four times. is worriedly rambling to himself about how they'll survive if they get stuck during nightfall when it's cold. thankfully managed to somehow have a packet of tissues in his pocket, constantly gives them to his hyung whose nose is suddenly running like crazy

seungkwan:

super competitive, is sure that he'll be the one to leave the maze the fastest. was originally in a three with the other maknaes, before hansol mysteriously disappeared into thin air. chan pushed him into the hedge at one point, and when he emerged, sputtering leaves and outrage, he'd found the youngest had bolted and left him alone. stormed through the maze, simmering with anger the entire time. every dead end he encountered made him angrier, and he probably ended up encountering all the dead ends possible. was one of the last to exit the maze, and was so exhausted that he let himself rest for a few hours during the drive back before promptly recharging in the restaurant and tackling chan to the floor. they ended up getting kicked out of the restaurant. 

vernon:

was originally in a group of three with seungkwan and chan, managed to somehow lose both of them and end up wandering through the maze by himself. tries to yell for them, hears nothing back. his phone is dead too, so he gives up and lets himself walk round in circles in the maze. encounters one (1) other person and that's seungcheol, who barely glances at him before zooming off again. has to be escorted out of the maze by a worker like hoshi, but it takes him way longer to be found bc he keeps on moving around so it looks like he knows where he's going. even though he really, really doesn't.

chan:

second to exit the maze. originally had a plan for all three of the maknaes to stick together and leave as quickly as possible, but then everything kinda fell apart when hansol disappeared so he decided to make seungkwan disappear too by pushing him into the corn and running away. did the whole 'keep your hand on the right wall' thing, was amazed to find out it worked when he left the maze to find only seungcheol standing there. begged the eldest to buy him ice cream while they waited for the others to come out. ended up falling asleep on a nearby bench with the half-eaten ice cream, was almost forgotten at the maze by seungcheol when they were leaving

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[drdemonprince]

how did you know that seeking institutional help was the right step to take?

For four years I was always in high levels of care. When I transitioned out of that, I was a "revolving door patient" to ip units living with a carer the rest of the time. I sometimes self-harmed or did other actions intentionally to get hospitalized during that time. I'm going to focus on mostly that because I don't want to get into the weeds of how different psych treatment programs are categorized and run.

I would say that my goal of being hospitalized usually was to change something in my outpatient life - let my therapist know I wasn't willing to do something, get my companions to let me go for walks alone, whatever. I'd get hospitalized or call the cops on myself or send scary texts to my therapist and then try to end my life, eventually being stopped. I didn't want to die, but if I could prove to them I was willing to, they'd listen.

Another person mentioned a desire for closeness+physical touch, and that was a huge part of it for me. i even got restrained sometimes just because I wanted any touch, which is something commonly heard from incarcerated people. I had certain nurses and other staff who I saw as my family, calling my therapist "dad" and interacting in a needy, childlike way with floor staff.

I also liked how much it pared down my life. I was in college at the time, and found the social habits of the other students confusing and overwhelming, so I'd get hospitalized to miss class.

what helped you trust the professionals or the institution enough for it to be beneficial to you?

i wouldn't say I trust any of the institutions, but some staff earned my trust. I was a scary mean noncompliant patient so the few who actually bothered to get to know me were usually moments away from some kind of burnout where they realized all this shit sucks.

One of the things they did that earned my trust was to share about their own mental health or addiction history. This is encouraged in sud places, but usually VERY discouraged in psych units, moreso the higher level of care it is.

Another big thing was to allow me to break rules or break them themselves. My ex-therapist used to meet with me for extra time, give me my DVD player when I wasn't allowed, etc. and it felt like he saw me as equal. Turns out he sucks. but. during the time he was treating me he definitely helped me a lot with my thinking patterns, so the trust still ended up benefiting me, even if the relationship didn't always. He also talked A LOT about his family and life outside of work, and showed me pictures, and I even met his dog once.

for me this is an example of why therapists are kind of. not great? because he earned my trust enough to help me, I was at his defense. I felt like not getting better was something I was "doing to him", and his displays of sadness (once something I'd considered a positive aspect of his self disclosure) became a way to manipulate me into the hospital when I didn't want to go, without having to resort to force or law. i agreed with the assertion of psychology that he knew me better than I know myself, and gave every part of my personality, personhood, to the medical model.

so yes it helped as in now when I'm suicidal or about to bpd-style destroy my every relationship I think "play the tape forward what happens next" and don't. which is lame bc it means most of the people who treated me get to leave patting themselves on the back about how well im doing now.

which kinds of institutions have been *less* traumatic than the others?

A few times I got to live in supportive group home style places, and those are kind of nice! It was cool to be in a place surrounded by other mentally ill people. Much less lonely. In general, places that let you outside independently, let you access food independently (e.g. no staff in the kitchen), and let you keep some secrets from staff are the best. My quality of life was 100% better when all the program heads knew we were vaping in our rooms but just let it happen unless someone started setting off alarms. Ditto with like, being able to stay up late on Devices.

Having that independence, a place for my sense of self other than being a patient, was sooo sooo helpful.

is it sometimes worth simply not being able to act on the ideation, even if it means putting up with lots of institutional bullshit?

I didn't find the hospital particularly good at getting me to not act, instead they just prevented the worst consequences. All three hundred stitches I got for self-harm were while I was institutionalized. But like, my nerve damage is less than it could've been. I am not sure how to evaluate if that's better than having just died, because I have no idea how much the institution itself caused self-harm and suicidality.

all things being equal, would it always be better to be able to stay at a friend's house instead?

yes

if you could get 24-7 company from a loved one, would that be better?

yes. however. i think it would be good if people had some information about how to talk to suicidal people. like... i forget the training. but its similar to what they teach helpline volunteers. thats its ok to say suicide. to ask if they have a plan. to ask if theyd be willing to get rid of the means. etc.

SORRY IF THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO READ

this is a wealth of information, thank you!

[allyallyorange]

post-story does anything significant happen to the teezers?

do any of them get married to a special someone they meet or to one of the other teezers?

elderly teezers characteristics! who gets the crows feet who gets the smile lines etc.

How does their relationship change as they get older? (I'm sure its different and a little more distant and they sort of have their own cliques as mentioned in a previous post but I'm still curious about the specifics)

Do jongho and yunho ever go back to their original universe? do they miss it?

do wooyoung and san ever settle down into something closer to domesticity (like living in a house again, putting down roots)

how do they heal.

OH GREAT ASK I DIDNT SEE TIL NOW

Hm I don’t know if anyone gets married. I’m still deciding a couple things for a few characters in the post story..

Woosan both with smile lines, 2hogi crows feet? Cute old men. Yeo and Joong don’t get old in the other’s life time

I think they stuck together for several years before drifting a little. Like for the next 10 years they’re all really close and Woosan and Yunho occasionally do their hero thing but always come back home quickly. They drift apart gradually and naturally. It’s nothing dramatic, they don’t have a falling out and it’s not like they’re NOT really close anymore. They’re just adults who don’t always spend every day with their friends. Hongjoong gets more responsibilities as Demon King so he’s not around a lot. Even though Mingi gets older Hongjoong always sees him as a little kid. Wooyoung and San visit the others fairly often, they never split apart. Yeosang’ s house is like home base for everyone else so he’s just around there most of the time. He occasionally will go on an adventure with woosan if he feels like it. Finding a new normal is really hard. Yunho, Jongho and Mingi may find a village or something that they like (maybe Yunho found it with Woosan during an adventure and is like “I wanna live here someday”). Maybe they open a shop or something, Yunho is a mechanic, and Jongho is super smart, who knows what they could do, or maybe they have a cute cafe or something. Woosan visit every now and then. Hongjoong hardly visits and it’s only to check on Mingi. Yeosang only visits if someone came to get him. They’re all distant but still love each other

Jongho and Yunho never move back to their original universe. Jongho thinks they should, Yunho would rather die. They may find a way to make dimension hopping easier and maybe they can visit occasionally, but they never stay. Jongho misses it, Yunho only misses his parents (and his bike)

I think Wooyoung and San eventually will decide to make someplace their home! Probably closer to where the treehouse was cus it felt familiar.

they can only heal with time. And it takes a long time. For years San feels guilty about both Mingi’s arm and still about Hwa’s death (Yeosang apologized to him that it wasn’t fair to blame him for not telling everyone, but San still feels bad cus he loved Seonghwa like family). Yeosang will literally spend eternity missing Seonghwa. When everyone else is gone and it’s just him and Hongjoong, it’s a very lonely life. Hongjoong eventually kind of forgets things (like you know how Peter Pan eventually forgets about Tinkerbell), and Yeosang reminds him. I’m kinda debating if 2ho and Mingi get a happy ending or not lmao

Thank you for your ask!! I love yapping about my au!

[rainbow-neko-artblog]

A curious thing I noticed and others did for Nerdy prudes must die. Apparent there is a moment where Max actually says “ this was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for them” and someone else mentioned that max might have a bad home life and that’s why he acts like he does.

So I’m curious.

1. Do you believe this

2. Does any of that get hinted in your inverted intentions au?

Uh yea- I'm....pretty sure its not a "might" have a bad homelife. He straight up says that his dad belittles him during his whole 'fight the ghost and skeleton' bit during operation pottypants.

The issue with this in inverted intentions AU- and im really sorry if it sounds like im repeating myself but i don't have a better way to describe this and im hoping eventually people will just take the hint- earth. is. fucked. period.

If murder is legal in most states- and even the nicest characters are considered shitty in this universe- radioactivity from corporations is ramped up to the point of causing human mutations which PAIN it's inhabitants 24/7, you are looking at hell on earth. Of course Max's homelife is botched- but so is everyone else's. He might have had a tougher go at it- again, the reason the nerds killed him in this AU was because he was LITERALLY out of control and was a danger to the school- but him mentioning his dad or anything about his life isn't gonna be brought up when the nerds are trying to kill him- and in the end even if it WAS mentioned, no one would bat an eye.

[keischreiber]

A reminder that Reiner's main goal to be a hero was not to save the world necessarily, but to be accepted by his parents. It's just... if saving the world is what it took to be accepted, he'll gladly undertake hell or high water just to be the hero that he felt would grant him the love, acknowledgement, and acceptance of the people meant everything to him.

So, you know, as I rewatch his scene with Eren during the start of W. Tybur's speech, I can't help but think about this. And how this could have added why he mentioned that he was a bad person. That it wasn't about the environment he grew up in... but that he was just a bad person. Because, if I factor in his desire, I can feel that at the back of his mind... his own selfishness was the reason why they are where they are now. Why so many was killed, why so many innocent people had to die.

It's not just about being brainwashed.

Because remember, he tell Eren that he just wanted to be a hero, he wanted to be respected. Which is true. And while he didn't say it out loud, making it seem like he wanted to be seen as a hero and respected by the majority, he does want the to be a hero to earn the respect of his mother.

Who never once (at this point at least because it was never shown, and based from her personality, probably never did) told him that she was proud of him for any reason. For coming back, for winning the war, for surviving, etc. The most that Reiner probably had in terms of acknowledgment from Karina would be two things: Him becoming a warrior candidate, and him being chosen as a Warrior.

When I think about how Reiner would have felt during his first meeting with his mom after being extracted from Paradis, I feel like crying. (My tears are very shallow for this man. He gets hurt in any way, I cry.) Because if you look at how he was acting when he told Karina he no longer has the Armored Titan... he looked so scared, even apprehensive about telling her, looked so expectant of rejection, looked so expectant of his mom's disappointment... that he couldn't even look her in the eye. This literally screamed to me that during the time he returned to Marley, his mother could have given him a look of disappointment or a lecture on how they had achieved nothing in those six years, threw him a bit of slack because they at least managed to bring back the Jaw. How horrified she must have looked when Reiner mentions that he might be stripped of the Armor. And despite how, she would not lash out at him, she would give him a look that reflects disappointment.

I still remember that scene where they come back from Liberio and Reiner's looking on at how happy his uncle and auntie were when Gabi came home safe, expressed how proud of her they were.

I feel like... during his entire stay in Marley after the extraction from Paradis, he has never been hugged by his mother.

Which is why, as much as majority of the fanbase dislike Karina (god, even TV Tropes had nothing good to say about her), I'm glad she made it out alive. Because it's her acceptance that truly cements Reiner's happiness. It's the one goal he worked so hard to achieve. IF she had died, Reiner will eventually learn to be happy, but there's always going to be a gap there that no one would ever be able to fill.

[macaroonsims]

The Evermore Legacy challenge

Inspired by Taylor swift’s album evermore, each gen will focus on one song. Complete all objectives + aspiration + reach top of career. Use cheats if you want. Enjoy :)

gen 1: Willow

‘Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind’ traits: loner, romantic, creative

aspiration: soulmate

career: musician

Reach level ten of guitar skill

Live in willow creek

become a spellcaster after ‘stumbling’ onto the portal in the magic realm

marry your childhood best friend (you’re the one who proposes)

gen 2: Champagne Problems

‘she would have made such a lovely bride what a shame she’s fucked in the head’

traits: non committal, erratic, gloomy

career: up to you

aspiration: any wellness aspiration

Your fiancé proposes during a Christmas party and you reject them, you then never marry, while they move on. You then spend the rest of your life focusing on yourself

Reach level ten wellness skill

reach top of chosen career

gen 3: gold rush

‘Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you’

traits: creative, romantic, Child of the ocean

aspiration: bestselling author

career: writer

write romance novels

fall in love with someone but never make a move in fear of rejection.

become a mermaid (the song sounds like sirens) and move to Sulani

gen 4: ‘tis the damn season

‘wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin’

Traits: romantic, good (third one up to you)

aspiration: master actress

career: actress

be born in winter, have the ice proof trait (must be bought with experience points or whatever they’re called)

have a relationship in your teens, break up when you become a young adult and move away

move to del sol but return home to your family for the holidays.

every time your back in your home town, you rekindle that past relationship, only to be just friends again when you leave. be a five star celebrity

do you eventually make your way back to each other, or do you finally move in for good? Up to you

gen 5: tolerate it

‘my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it’

traits: romantic, creative, art lover

career: painter

Aspiration: painter extraordinare

marry young (young adult while they’re an adult), and while you are still in love, your spouse falls out of love with you. You don’t divorce, but stay in a loveless marriage that you constantly try to salvage.

most of your paintings are portraits of your spouse.

gen 6: no body no crime

‘He did it’

traits: loyal, genius, up to you

aspiration: public enemy

career: crime

buy a boat.

Your best friend’s husband cheats on her, one day she disappears, and you know he’s behind it, so you seek revenge. You and her sister murder him, but no one ever finds out. (In game, he should die by drowning). The mistress is instead blamed

Gen 7: happiness

‘There was happiness because of me’

traits: gloomy, hot headed, loves the outdoors

Career: Gardner

aspiration: outdoor enthusiast

have a messy break up, it takes you a while to heal, you then focus on yourself

Gen 8: Dorothea

‘Do you ever stop and think about me?’

traits: romantic, good, loyal

Career: any

Aspiration: drama llama

You dated your childhood best friends when you were in your teens, before they moved away as a young adult to pursue their dreams. You stayed behind in your home town, and never truly got over them. You have a normal job in a normal tiny town, while they are a famous actor in del sol, but every time they return home, you rekindle your relationship, only to break up each time at the end of the holidays, breaking your heart all over again.

gen 9: Coney Island

‘Break my soul in two looking for you’

aspiration: beach life

career: any

traits: child of the ocean, gloomy, up to you

reach level 10 of painting, video gaming, mischief skills

live by the sea

go to the fair ground in copperdale on dates, break up, and never return to that date spot.

gen 10: ivy

‘I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bone’

traits: loves the outdoors, romantic, gloomy

aspiration: soulmate

career: Gardner (other branch not previously used)

you’ve always been in love with your best friend, but fate forces you to marry their sibling. You have an unhappy marriage and see your friend in secret, with whom you still have a relationship. Your spouse is suspicious, but never catches you. You and your lover must only meet at night

Live in Glimmerbrook

be a spellcaster

max gardening skill

gen 11: cowboy like me

‘I’m never gonna love again’

traits: loves the outdoors, horse lover, rancher

aspiration: championship rider

career: up to you

live in chestnut ridge

master riding skill

own a horse

gen 12: long story short

‘Long story short, I survived’

aspiration: world famous celebrity

Traits: cheerful, creative, outgoing

Career: actor

become a five star celebrity, after a scandal you ‘get cancelled’ (book one of those cleansing sessions) but then it’s proved you are innocent, and you re-become a five star celebrity

Max acting skill

gen 13: Marjorie

‘Watched as you signed your name Marjorie’

traits: good, genius, music lover

aspiration: musical genius

career: musician

be born in autumn

Growing up you were always close with your grandparent, who was a musician. Their death really affected you. You became a singer like them.

gen 14: closure

‘It cut deep to know ya right to the bone’

traits: hot headed, self-assured, creative

aspiration: any

career: actress

A controlling agency. After the switch, they keep on reaching out to smooth things over but you don’t want to, after so many betrayals and all the times you forgave them, now you just want to cut contact and move on, you know they don’t mean it, it’s just so they stop feeling guilty.

pick any acting agency but once you reach mid level of acting career switch.

gen 15: evermore

'I've been down since July'

Internal struggles, your partner is the only one who keeps you from falling apart.

traits: gloomy, romantic, up to you

Aspiration: soulmate

Career: up to you

Max writing skill

keep a diary since childhood and write an entrance per day

have a fire place in your home

be born in winter

be consoled by partner whenever sad

[nectardaddy]

hello dodger and a very happy self ship friday to you here are my self ship questions!! i am asking a lot of them bc these prompts are so good also im curious abt suga

pre: 1,6

general: 1, 9

love: 2, 8

domestic: 2, 13

self ship asks !

get ready for a novel molly ily <333

How did they first meet?

we met in a teacher prep program in college! most education majors have all the same classes together (especially at smaller schools) so we never really had a moment away from each other. he was either the only, or one of like two, men in the entire program. he was wanted by everyone who likes men in that gd major let's be real. we got assigned to do a project together to make a unit plan :))))

What was their "flirting stage" like?

our flirting was roasting the shit out of each other. HOWEVER he would do small things like get me coffee "just because he passed it" when it was most definitely out of the way. he would always compliment me in some way and it sent me to the stratosphere every single time. his flirting was more subtle unlike mine because I would full on short circuit and stumble out a compliment or ask about his day because I was down horrendously.

Who initiated the relationship, and how did they go about it?

he did (THANK GOD). sort of forward about it too? like not full on "do you want to go on a date?' but like asking if I wanted to do something and then tagging on "like a date" at the end. I also definitely see us going on a few dates and in his head we are already together so when he calls me his partner I'm so confused and he hits me with the "omfg did I not ask you??" y e a h

Who gets jealous easier?

I answered this from honee here! god I want to EAT HIM

What are their primary love languages?

suga likes giving words of affirmation and receiving physical touch while I like giving gifts (I am a trinket connoisseur like a fucking crow) and receiving physical touch as well. while it clashes sometimes, especially with words of affirmation (I am NOT good with words) we make it work by genuinely not leaving each other tf alone and constantly touching one another. he also has a whole little shelf dedicated to all of the bullshit trinkets I give him, probably has some at school too. I eventually conjoined both my love for giving gifts and his need for words of affirmation. he probably has about 20 rocks that came with the stupid ass note of "you rock" or some euphemism "you make me rock hard" I would totally do this and that makes me want to die

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

now this may go against what I said in the last one, it makes sense in my head though hear me out. we are both teachers. during the school week about 2 hours after we get home we REFUSE to touch each other. we are both so ungodly overstimulated and the thought of being touched and cuddled makes us both want to crawl in our own skin. those times are for verbal affection. anytime after those 2 hours it is most definitely physical affection (ig this counts as verbal affection as well) but I have moments where I self deprecate and I most definitely see him just yelling at the top of his lungs "STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT IM GOING TO THROW SOMETHING AT YOU YOU'RE PERFECT SHUT YOUR MOUTH" also the man to hold my hand and physically move me so he's on the side of the sidewalk that's closest to the street

If they get married, who proposes, and how do they do it? Would they change their surnames?

suga better fucking propose bc I sure as hell am NOT doing it lmao. that would make me throw up from anxiety, I think I would genuinely have a stroke if I even for a second thought I had to propose we definitly have a conversation about it before hand though, so he 10000000% knows if he proposes to me in public I'm punching him right in his fucking nose. bc THAT would make me so gd anxious I'd probably throw up before I said yes. but him, being himself, he would make it the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen and wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut about it. he is also a gentleman and tells my stubborn ass to get my nails done before (I am terrible at this I let them grow out for so long) and I would hyphen my name (like it is now yayyyy) bc I'll be damned if I take a MANS name just to change my own. no shade to those that want to do that or have done that, it just doesn't sit right with me. so it would be (my last name) - sugawara. it would be long as hell and a hassle to anyone at the dmv but we ball

Do they have any "couple traditions", or family traditions?

THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE!!! RAHHHHH IM YAPPING (also includes sexual themes** OOPS SORRY LMAO) so I celebrate pagan holidays (samhain, yule, solstices, etc...) he is wholeheartedly HERE FOR IT! the one that pops to my head immediately (and all practices are different this is just how I do mine) the 12 days leading up to yule (dec 21) you make wishes and burn them randomly each day, the wish you didn't burn on the 21 is the wish that YOU work on (all the rest will happen organically). he does this with me <3333 he makes his own wishes and everything!!! he gets really into it and tries to guess the wish I didn't burn before I tell him <33 **I also had the thought about celebrating ostara (spring equinox) and this may just be too foul for main BUT it's basically celebrating new growth, the start of spring, and....fertility. this man will wholeheartedly ask, EVERY YEAR, "should we fuck on ostara to really LOCK IN the vibes?" yeah...y e a h but a tradition that isn't apart of a holiday is just going on a date every weekend. we force ourselves to do SOMETHING on the weekend to combat stress from school. whether that's staying in and doing something or physically going on, we have to do something and it's written in stone at this point