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fatalism-and-villainy · 12 days ago

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Generally cosign the above commentary, but I have a few more things to add.

First of all, Bashir is not the only doctor in Starfleet to have a romantic relationship with a patient. Beverly Crusher, on TNG’s “The Host,” also ends up treating someone she’s romantically involved with (it’s a medical emergency, so more of a necessity than Bashir’s treatments of Melora, but still something another doctor would ideally handle in a real life situation, especially since the treatment persists past the immediate emergency). In “Lifesigns,” on Voyager, the EMH also pursues a romantic relationship with a patient (in that case, with the exact same sexist “if a woman says no, you just have to try harder/try a different approach” romance script that both Bashir’s early pursuit of Dax and Vic Fontaine’s introduction invokes). For some reason, I never see those scenarios get criticized.

(I also think “putting someone a doctor is romantically interested in in medical danger” is a pretty common TV go-to when it comes to giving a doctor a plot line. It’s not at all unique to Bashir, nor really written with real world medical ethics in mind.)

Furthermore, the instances with Melora and Sarina are not actually all that similar. With Melora, the degree to which she’s even a “patient” is questionable. He’s in charge of putting accessibility features in place for her on the station, and it’s implied that that’s part of his role as CMO (see also the scene in “Improbable Cause” when he’s talking to Kira about the specifications for an alien species’ quarters); he also gives a report to Sisko on her medical capacity for the mission to the Gamma Quadrant, a procedure to which Melora takes offense. But their initial relationship is not premised on him actively administering treatment, and when he says he’s not her doctor anymore, I take it to mean that the extent of his medical duties to her have been fulfilled. He does step in when she injures herself, but due to budgetary restrictions, many episodes act as if he’s the only one on duty in the infirmary, and he treats many other people he’s close to. As alluded to in the OP, as CMO, the health of the entire station is ultimately under his jurisdiction, even though he’s not the one personally treating everybody. So I’m not convinced this set of examples makes their relationship primarily doctor/patient.

It does become so when he proposes and then begins administering the treatment to help her walk without mobility aids. Obviously, there are ethical issues with running this with someone he’s involved with! But I do think it is important to be specific about this series of events, because vagueness begets a game of telephone that obscures the actual wrongdoing. (And in real life situations, this can have consequences much more dire than an interpretation of a television show.) “He dates his patients” implies that he’s using the infirmary as his personal dating pool, when it’s not so (to be fair, he does have an interaction with Vash in “Q-Less” that has that vibe, but it’s not a recurring behaviour for him).

The situation with Sarina is completely different. Sarina does start out explicitly as his patient - she’s brought to the station for him to operate on her, and his introduction to her and the other augments in “Statistical Probabilities” is also intended to be a doctor/patient dynamic. Furthermore - and perhaps more importantly - Sarina has never lived independently or been able to exercise personal autonomy. She’s not even allowed to consent to the procedure herself - her legal guardian has to do it. She’s very likely never been given a chance to explore her sexuality, and is pretty clear that she has no frame of reference for romantic relationships (she tells Bashir that she doesn’t understand what love is). The power differential is vastly more concerning in that instance, and Bashir’s motivations are also more selfish and self-deluding (he believes simply giving her up as a patient will erase that power differential when it’s not so, and she still feels indebted to him and obligated to make him happy). I feel the need to elaborate on this, because I’ve seen people say that it’s contradictory for the show to frame one as bad and the other not, or for Bashir to feel guilty about pursuing Sarina but not Melora, but I don’t think it is at all. Both may raise ethical concerns to us as viewers, but there are still very different degrees of harm or potential harm at play.

On the topic of his other relationships… his conduct in his relationship with Leeta is pretty unobjectionable. Same with Ezri. (I’ve seen people frame him as a predator in that dynamic, when he’s really not. After his initial hiccup, he’s pretty scrupulously respectful of her, up until the part where they’re both circling awkwardly around each other. In fact, of the three men who are attracted to Ezri, his behaviour and attitude towards her are actually the least objectionable to me.) His conduct towards Jadzia is genuinely pretty poor (following her back to her quarters in “Dax” is particularly beyond the pale for me), but I do think he gets unjustly demonized for his later resurgence of feelings for her in late season six, with people blaming him for writing decisions they object to. It’s not morally wrong to simply have an old crush come back and not act on it.

Regarding this:

And in between, we get Jadzia mentioning he’s been with a couple other women while pursuing her, Miles and him butting heads because Bashir evidently does not like the idea of committment and monogamy, and he does have several moments throughout the show where he is very much sort of the closest to being a womanising skirt chaser on the whole. …when we do get a focus on Bashir and romance, it’s… not usually a flattering look for him, and there is definitely a lot to be said about that.

I really have to push back on the idea that this is “not flattering” (especially the exchange with Miles in “Armageddon Game”). Not being interested in commitment and monogamy is an entirely morally neutral preference that says nothing on its own about his attitudes towards women or interpersonal ethical conduct. Bashir is by no means a perfect individual - broadly, he has problems with boundaries, with being overbearing and sometimes outright selfish and self-aggrandizing, and (yes) has some latent sexist tendencies. But simply enjoying casual sex and having ambivalent feelings about long-term partnership are not the problem here. I am certain that those attributes do nonetheless inform some of the fan reaction, given that many people seem to have it in their heads that monogamy is “better for women,” but frankly, we don’t have to lend credence to that idea.

The reason that Bashir’s (legitimate) flaws in this regard tend to attract hyperscrutiny from fandom likely can be attributed to racism (and I also have a theory - related to the above paragraph - that it’s a result of the 2010s era backlash against sex positivity on here). But, as I’ve said to some people before, I suspect a large part of it is also his failure to conform to the standards of conventional masculinity, and especially the standards of masculinity that people expect from “womanizer” types. (Much of this can be attributed to Sid’s performance, as I discussed here, and there’s definitely a discussion to be had about how that in and of itself intersects with race.) Because of this failure at masculinity, his attraction to and pursuit of women registers to many viewers as both laughable and grotesque, hence why the (again, sometimes genuinely objectionable) specifics of those dynamics render more prolonged and vociferous criticism (from both the straight guy side of fandom and the the progressive, feminist side of fandom).

Okay, as funny as I sometimes find it, I do think it's sort of worth noting that canonically Julian Bashir dated... exactly two characters who were *primarily* his patients, with a six year gap between these incidents.

And with both those cases, he tries to switch off being their primary doctor before dating them.

(That isn't to say there aren't ethical issues still present in both scenarios but it's hardly "local doctor simply cannot stop dating his poor patients" material, is it?)

(And if we take anyone he's ever treated medically off the table then he's just not allowed to date anyone on the station ever because he treats damn near everyone at some point or another!)

#1300 words but it is a 1300 word topic.#because there's lots of layers to what's going on with him and to why the topic of his sex life makes people bugfuck insane #julian bashir #my meta #ds9 talk #ds9 #queue

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years ago

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genderbent wens, like the siblings and the head family?

ao3

“- and in one generation, they were all women, every single one of them!” Lao Nie laughed so hard he was very nearly hiccupping, but Lan Qiren supposed that was understandable on account of the other sect leader having consumed a truly unbearable amount of wine. Some of which was on his behalf – Lao Nie had been in a strange mood during the conference, especially excited, and had boisterously interjected himself into Jin Guangshan’s regular attempts to get Lan Qiren drunk by volunteering to take all his toasts for him – so Lan Qiren felt obligated to stay and keep him from making a nuisance of himself. “So be careful what you wish for, Jin-xiong!”

“Let go of me!” Jin Guangshan yelped, and really, getting squashed like that by Lao Nie tipping over onto him was exactly what he deserved. Only Jiang Fengmian was nice enough to try to help him, and all that accomplished was to get him pulled, laughing, into the drinking as well.

Possibly that had been his goal.

“That seems remarkably unlikely,” Wen Ruohan remarked. He, at least, was sitting properly, and had for once restrained himself during the festivities – he was friends of a sort with Jin Guangshan, which never seemed to go well for anyone else, but Lao Nie’s rowdiness had apparently severed that for the night. He looked sidelong at Lan Qiren. “Don’t you think, Sect Leader Lan?”

Lan Qiren could never figure out if Wen Ruohan meant for that term of address to be an insult or a compliment, and he was tired of trying.

“What is so unlikely?” he asked, having been paying more attention to Lao Nie’s stability than his words.

“An entire generation born as women,” Wen Ruohan said. He was playing with the cup of wine in his hands rather than drinking it. “Statistically possible, but highly improbable, given the size of the Nie sect.”

“Well, I assume he’s accounting for the misaligned,” Lan Qiren said, because Wen Ruohan wasn’t wrong – the Nie sect might be smaller than others, but it was still a Great Sect; it was very far from being small. “That would affect the numbers.”

“Misaligned?” Wen Ruohan echoed.

“A tradition among the Nie,” Lan Qiren explained, because it wasrather unusual. “They believe that the reincarnation cycle occasionally errs, with the soul of a woman ending up in a male body or a man in a woman – or I suppose neither and both, I’m not entirely certain about that one. At any rate, it’s not terribly common, but neither is it especially uncommon, so I suppose it’s possible –”

“Isn’t it a punishment?” Wen Ruohan interrupted.

Lan Qiren blinked at him, not understanding.

Wen Ruohan was looking down at his cup, which he had started to hold rather tightly – his knuckles were white, and it was only his especially good control over his cultivation that was keeping the cup from shattering. “The misalignment,” he clarified. “It’s said that those who commit sins in one life will be condemned in their next: reborn as an ant, or a chicken raised for slaughter. To be reborn into a body that does not fit you would surely seem to be along the same lines.”

“I suppose I see the argument,” Lan Qiren said, relieved that for once Wen Ruohan was in the mood for a theoretical discussion rather than causing trouble just to show that he had the power to do so without consequence. “I believe the Nie would argue in turn that being born as a thinking being capable of expressing oneself is sufficient basis to assume error rather than retribution – we’re all cultivators fighting the dictates of fate, after all. If one can seek immortality against all heavenly restrictions, then seeking to be recognized in the manner of your soul rather than your body would appear to be a much smaller issue.”

He shrugged and took a sip of his tea, rolling it in his mouth first to confirm it hadn’t been spiked with anything alcoholic.

“My assumption entirely,” he added. “I’m not actually that familiar with the Nie sect doctrine on this matter. Lao Nie is not the most academic, and if anything seems more bemused by our lack of understanding on the matter.”

Wen Ruohan was frowning into his cup, but at least he wasn’t gripping it so tightly.

“Fighting the dictates of fate,” he murmured. “Yes, I can see that. If you decide you are something, who dares say that you cannot be that, even the Heavens themselves?”

Such a Wen sect way of thinking, Lan Qiren thought to himself, shaking his head. Arrogant, defiant and proud – always raising their heads up high. Admirable in small doses, irritating in large!

“What would you do?” Wen Ruohan asked him, and Lan Qiren looked at him, surprised. “If there was – something like that, but in your sect? The Lan is the most orthodox of the sects; you do not even permit intermingling between men and women.”

“We don’t – men and women live separately; it’s not the same thing as not permitting intermingling,” Lan Qiren protested, but he supposed he could see the value in the question. “If one of my sect disciples informed me that they believed themselves to be a misalignment, I would – accept it, I suppose. Perhaps after a period of supervision, to ensure that they were serious and understood the consequences of their actions, that they would live and be perceived socially in the manner their soul for the rest of their lives; that would help ensure no one would engage in such a thing lightly or as a prank.”

He thought about it a little more.

“Yes, I think that’s right,” he concluded. “There are many rules that touch on the subject of being true to oneself, and none requiring adherence to the gender of one’s body; therefore, it is more in accordance to the rules to permit it. In such an event, I might also send them to the Unclean Realm for a time to further their understanding of the concept, to allow them time to reflect on the proposed change and to ensure they have access to a place where they can feel safe in exploring –”

“What if it were you yourself? Given your position?”

“Me?” Lan Qiren blinked. “I’ve always been comfortable being a man, so it isn’t an issue. But if it was, I would imagine that the same would apply to me as to anyone else in my sect. After all, we have precedent of a woman taking the role of Sect Leader, so that isn’t a consideration.”

“I suppose you do,” Wen Ruohan said. He seemed thoughtful. “What do you think the other sects would think of it?”

“Well, I can hardly say. Of the Great Sects? The Jiang sect would probably approve of it; their sect motto is ‘attempt the impossible’, and their emphasis has always been on freedom and finding your own way – I can’t imagine them objecting in a way that wouldn’t make them come across as complete hypocrites. The Nie would of course accept it. The Jin…”

The Jin sect, under Jin Guangshan, would reject it utterly. Perhaps it might be different under a different sect leader, but Jin Guangshan was even more wedded to the idea of people being in what he considered their ‘proper’ place than most. He hated the newly rich, the self-made upstart, even the poor young men who fought their way up from nothing – in his view, immortality was best reached by nothing ever changing. It was, perhaps, an understandable viewpoint from a man who felt as though he already had everything, but still rather disgusting given how despite all of that Jin Guangshan still grappled and sought after even more power and wealth than he already had – as if he were the only one allowed to rise, and everyone else had to stay where they were so he could more easily step on them on his way up.

“Oh, the Jin. Leave Jin Guangshan to me,” Wen Ruohan said with that dangerous smile of his, the one that promised blood on the ground.

Lan Qiren nodded agreeably, then frowned. Since when had they been discussing how to convince Jin Guangshan to be more open to an admittedly idiosyncratic Nie sect custom?

He was about to ask, but then Lao Nie started singing – with Jiang Fengmian providing the harmony, insofar as ‘harmony’ could be used to describe something that sounded not unlike a duet for elephants in heat or possibly someone using a brick to bludgeon people mid-opera – and they all got distracted in the unified effort of trying to get them to stop.

Lan Qiren then forgot about the entire conversation for approximately two months, and abruptly recalled it when Wen Ruohan issued an announcement that the Wen sect now permitted female sect leaders, that, furthermore, shewas the first one, and, finally, that if anyone objected on any basis whatsoever they were welcome to fight her personally.

Which –

Well, in all, Lan Qiren wished his fellow sect leader the best and started resigning himself to having to suffer from even more of Lao Nie’s flirting at the next discussion conference. That man had never yet met a man or woman who could kill him that he wouldn’t try to sleep with, and he generally preferred women…

“It’s nice to have the company of another girl,” Jiang Yanli said with a smile.

Wen Xu snorted. “I agree, even if I wish it were under different circumstances.”

Jiang Yanli managed to maintain her expression of peace and tranquility for exactly four breaths before she burst out into giggles, an incredibly infectious sound that finally made Wen Xu start laughing as well.

“It’s mean,” Jiang Yanli said, only laughing harder. “I should – I’m glad they’re happy! Really!”

“We can be glad that they’re happy and also think that our parents are insane,” Wen Xu said. “I can’t believe – your parents are already married! To each other!”

“They weren’t very happy, though,” Jiang Yanli said. “I honestly think Sect Leader Wen has been very good for them. Even if I don’t want to think too hard about it.”

Wen Xu nodded. They were both twelve, which was exactly the age at which you tried very hard not to think things like I’m pretty sure my mom’s railing your dad while your mom provides commentary with his face in her lap right this very instant and yet you did think it because the adults were very not subtle sometimes and then at that point there was nothing to do but laugh.

“I heard that lots of people thought she was going to get together with Sect Leader Nie at first,” Jiang Yanli said. “You know, because they flirt so much?”

“My mom says that Sect Leader Nie flirts with anyone who can kill him,” Wen Xu said, and still marveled a little at being able to say things or think things like mom. Before, she’d only ever been allowed to refer to his father through the most formal terms, with any attempt to use a more intimate sobriquet being viciously punished – she’d often thought that her father would rather she called him Sect Leader Wen instead, and maybe she’d been right.

Her mother was a lot more easy-going about that sort of thing now, though. Wen Xu still wasn’t sure whether it was because she preferred ‘a-niang’ over ‘a-die’ or if it was just that, having blown up the entire cultivation world through her gender choices, her mother felt a lot freer in ignoring the rest of the expectations that had burdened her, too.

“So he’s not serious about her?”

“I mean, maybe he is, I don’t know,” Wen Xu said. “But apparently the whole thing with my mom deciding to announce that she was a woman happened right around the time he was getting back together with his second wife so I guess he was taken?”

“Wait, he got back together with – wasn’t she dead?”

“Apparently not? I really don’t know what happens in the Unclean Realm.”

“Probably for the best,” Jiang Yanli said. “I mean – I don’t – uh, that is –”

“If you’re talking about the fact that my mom still wants to take over the entire cultivation world and declare herself an immortal Empress, trust me, I know.”

“Oh, good,” Jiang Yanli said. “I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”

Wen Xu shrugged. She mostly just hoped that her mom’s current relationship with the other sect leaders was such that she didn’t actually murder them all in her inevitable effort to take over – it had always been something of a concern, and greater now that she actually knew Jiang Yanli was pretty cool.

“I also thought…” Jiang Yanli hesitated. “You yourself…?”

“Oh, no, I’m different. My birth mother made me pretend to be a boy,” Wen Xu said. “So that I could be the heir and she could keep her place as my father’s main wife, though of course in the end it didn’t really work out that well for her…I think A-Chao’s like mom, though. She wants to be a princess.”

“So she’s like your mom in the – ambitious sense?”

Wen Xu snickered. “Yes, that too. Actually, it’s a little funny. The whole thing started because my mom overheard Lao Nie talking about how a whole generation of Nie sect got cursed to be girls one time, and now I think mysect’s current generation is all girls.”

“Oh! Are they really?”

“Well, not really, but almost?” Wen Xu said. “There’s really just my mom, A-Chao, and me in the main branch, though we have some cousins that got sort of pulled into the main branch after their parents died – A-Qing and A-Ning. They were both born as girls, but recently A-Qing’s been saying that he thinks he might be happier as a man…it’s interesting. He’s not unhappybeing a woman the way I’m pretty sure my mom hated being a man, but he really likesbeing a man, and according to the Nie sect that’s the same thing, just a different expression of it? I don’t know.”

“How old are they?” Jiang Yanli asked.

“A-Qing’s about our age, and A-Ning is your brothers’ ages. You can meet them the next time there’s a conference in Qishan…”

“Can I bring Jiaojiao?” Wen Chao asked, and quailed under Wen Qing’s glare.

Wen Ning was just happy to remain underfoot and out of attention range. Her brother had a wicked way with needles when he wanted, and she wanted no part in any of that.

“Are you serious right now?” Wen Qing demanded. “You want to take your whore with you when we run away from home?”

“I’m not leaving Jiaojiao behind!” Wen Chao insisted. “And she’s not a whore! She doesn’t sleep with anyone but me.”

Hasn’t doesn’t mean wouldn’t, Wen Ning thought, then promptly felt bad for thinking it. It was a very catty thought and she was ashamed of it, even if Wang Lingjiao did strike her as rather…mercenary.

“Also I don’t understand why we have to run away anyway,” Wen Chao said, pouting. “So what if Mom started a war? We’re going to win, and then I’ll be a princess.”

“You’re an idiot,” Wen Qing said. “We’re not going to win.”

“But we control half the cultivation world!”

“Yes, and maybe if your mom was as ruthless as she used to be, she would’ve done the things necessary to win the war,” Wen Qing said. “Like take out Lao Nie early on, maybe. Now that the Nie sect’s got both him andNie Mingjue, any of our cultivators that go to the Unclean Realm are going to be slaughtered.”

Wen Chao winced, acknowledging the point.

“And ever since Lao Nie and Lan Qiren started their thing, it’s not like the Nie sect won’t also go defend the Lan sect, right?”

“…right.”

“And of course there’s the Jiang sect, which we probably couldraze to the ground if we really wanted to. But we’re not going to, and you know why?”

“Because Mom is fucking their sect leaders.”

“Because your mom is fucking their sect leaders,” Wen Qing agreed. “And that is why we declared war first on the Jin sect, because no one likes them.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that the Jin sect makes no sense at all as a target! If we take over the entire stretch of territory between Lanling and Qishan, Qinghe gets completely cut off from Gusu and Yunmeng and there’s no way they’re going to let that happen, which means that they’re going to declare war on us. And that is why we are running away from home, because we do not want to be here when the Nie sect shows up.”

Wen Ning’s brother was awesome and everyone should listen to him.

“Maybe your mom will rethink her actions once she’s seen that we’ve run away,” Wen Ning told Wen Chao in a low voice, since she was still scowling. “And I think it’s fine if you bring Jiaojiao. She’s your girlfriend, right?”

Wen Chao frowned. “I mean…she’s someone I’m sleeping with. For now. That’s all – she’s just a maid.”

Wen Ning would normally refrain from commenting, but… “If she’s just a maid, then why do you care about her potentially dying when the Nie sect invades?”

Wen Chao’s face did something. “I – maybe I just want to have her around to keep sleeping with her!”

Wen Qing looked on the verge of saying something, but Wen Ning stepped on her foot.

“Maybe you should think about it,” she said. “I don’t think we can let a servant to come with us – same reason we can’t take Wen Zhuilu, since he’d just report the whole thing to your mom – but if she was your girlfriend and you trusted her…”

She trailed off and shrugged.

Wen Chao’s face was doing weird colors.

“A-Ning, stop trying to teach A-Chao to have mature emotional reactions, it’s a hopeless case,” Wen Qing said. “Keep packing instead. If I was smart, I’d let A-Chao stay here with her Jiaojiao and her dreams of being a princess.”

“No!” Wen Chao exclaimed, then flushed red.

“No? Then pack.”

“How about we just assume girl until otherwise proven?” Wen Xu suggested, patting the baby’s back to try to keep calm. Whether the person to be calmed was the baby or Wen Xu herself was unknown. “She doesn’t need to have gender imposed so early.”

“Deciding that she’s a girl is imposing a gender,” Wen Chao said. Her head was in Wang Lingjiao’s lap, and she was pouting. “I can’t believe we have to take care of a baby.”

“She’s family,” Wen Qing said.

“Her parents aren’t!”

“Mom’s rules are that anyone who has the Wen surname and blood who doesn’t have parents gets adopted into the main family.”

“Do Sect Leader Wen’s rules even matter any more?” Wen Ning asked, wringing her hands. “With her being under house arrest…”

“It’s temporary. Once she vows not to wage offensive war without approval of the other Great Sect leaders, she’ll be released and things will go back to normal. Mostly. Possibly with slightly less war?”

“Yes, but in the meantime, why do we have to be in charge?”

“Uh, because you’re the heirs?”

“I’m not the heir,” Wen Chao sniffed. “A-Xu is.”

“This is so stupid,” Wen Xu said. “I can’t believe our mother’s military campaign and inevitable tragic defeat was derailed by the giant man-eating tortoise A-Chao found.”

“Anyone could’ve stumbled over that cave!”

“We weren’t even supposed to be heading in that direction! If you hadn’t stolen the map and insisted on being the navigator –”

“It all turned out for the best,” Wen Qing interrupted. “No blood feuds – or at least, not any we can’t afford to pay off – and that awful Jin Guangshan isn’t around anymore, which the other sect leaders are pretending to mind but really don’t. Mom will be back in charge of the sect soon enough, and with luck will forget all about trying to take over the world and will instead go back to fucking her two lovers that swooped in and saved her life instead defeating her because she’s incredibly touched by that even if she’s pretending she’s not. It’s like a scene out of a bad play.”

“Can we get back to the bit where we got a baby?” Wen Xu said. “I don’t want to deal with a baby.”

“I already explained –”

“I’ll take A-Yuan,” Wen Ning volunteered. “She seems sweet.”

“Girls usually are.”

“We are not saying everyone is a girl until otherwise determined!”

“Why not?” Wen Xu wanted to know. “Worked out pretty good so far.”

“I – that is – I mean…” Wen Qing floundered, then scowled. “Okay, listen. Not even the Nie sect does that, and I refuse for the Wen sect to be weirder than the Nie. All right?”

Everyone considered that, and agreed.

They might be weird – but they weren’t that weird.

Right?

#mdzs #wen ruohan #lan qiren #wen xu #jiang yanli #wen chao #wen qing #wen ning #feminine mystique

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doomstypewriter · 4 years ago

Text

Excuse me while I panic

Hi, I'm back from finals, but my brain is kind of dead right now, so enjoy this silly two-shot in the meantime.

Word count: 996 | AO3

Summary: Roman needs to get on with the program, realise his crush on Virgil and ask him out, because it's getting ridiculous.

At least Janus thinks so. Everybody does.

A wild crush has appeared, except it was there all along, Roman is just dumb <3

“It’d be a pity if you got over yourself and told Virgil you loved him already. Not that I care about his happiness or anything”.

Roman turned to face the back of the room, where Janus was sitting with a lap full of Patton, who just shrugged in agreement with a quizzical smile.

The treacherous acceptance Patton showed after Janus’ out-of-the-blue comment almost made Roman gasp.

“I just said I want to hang out with him this week”.

“And marry him the month after that, I suppose” Janus retorted.

“Okay, first of all, nah-uh, and second of all, I’d have expected this outright attack for you, but, Patton, are you going to stand watching him bullying me?!”

Just when he was about to reply, Janus intervened again, pretending to be distracted playing with Patton’s curls.

“Not quite, let me rephrase that for you: bullying you into getting ahead in life”.

“Hello?” Roman gestured at himself, only to feel even more increpated by Janus’ glancing at him up and down. “I’m dashing at all times, it’s you who should be putting in the effort”.

As per usual, Janus smirked, unimpressed. He ran a finger, scratching lightly, up Patton’s neck. Underneath the cardigan, a pair of shoulders rolled in a contained shudder.

“I already have. You, though, have achieved nothing. Also, why am I detecting” Janus said, raising a hand to cup behind his ear, “a hint of defensiveness? Honestly… well… as honestly as the budget allows, I am saying this for your sake. Take notes or something, Roman”.

Roman’s weight shifted from one leg to the other, he crossed his arms and gasped, for real this time.

“Excuse me?”

“Excused. I’ll dictate it for you: number one, dot, Janus has made me realise my lack of ambition, comma, I will ask Virgil out”. Janus changed the tone for a second, considering. “Hmmm… let’s say, at once, sounds very you, doesn’t it? Blah, blah, no ambition, I’m very dim, I will ask Virgil out at once, full stop. New paragraph: number two, dot, from now on, comma, I shall listen to Janus’ advice, comma, because he’s so right all the time, full stop”.

Once Roman came out of his astonishment, he closed his gaping mouth and pursed his lips like a child.

“Okay, that’s it, you did this. I’m calling the nerd”.

Janus had no time to complain, as Logan was summoned immediately thereafter.

“Lo, are you okay?!” Patton stirred in place after seeing Logan’s looks.

There, in all bizarre glory, stood Logan, draped in a lab coat with some unidentified stains, knee-length black rubber boots, safety glasses with what dangerously looked like a speckle of blood and a pair of gloves holding a scalpel.

“Don’t worry Patton, he’s just been playing with Remus” Janus offered.

Logan examined the room quickly, then cleared up his throat and blinked himself into his usual attire.

“I was in the middle of something”.

“Clearly” Roman muttered sarcastically.

“What do you need?” Logan made a point to ignore Roman’s comment.

Janus smiled calmly.

“Roman just called you so you can prove him wrong”.

Before the prince could retort, Logan nodded with a vague hint of amusement.

“Well, I can certainly do that”.

“You won’t need to, because it’s him who’s saying” Roman paused and endeavoured to make his best impression of Logan, “falsehoods”.

Logan frowned and crossed his arms.

“That is to be expected, so what is the context?”

“He says I need to ask Virgil out because he’s always right”.

Roman went on saying something along the lines of ‘like, I like Virgil, but not like that. And he’s just implying I’m in love with him, and I would know because, hi, Roman, romance? And Patton isn’t even defending me!’. All of that, Logan didn’t listen to, deciding to speak plainly.

“That’s incorrect, Janus gets things wrong often, it is, in fact, a statistical improbability to be right all the time. But, to be fair, out of all of you, he holds a higher average”.

“Exactly, that’s what I said” Roman shook his hand forward as if to underline how justified he felt. A moment later he went quiet. “Wait…”

“No need. I’ll finish dispatching this soon. So, no, Janus is not always right, but you would do well to heed to his advice on this occasion, seeing how it would help resolve your feelings for Virgil”.

“What?”

“Thank you, Logan” Janus said.

Logan nodded, satisfied with a good job.

“No need, happy to help”.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Roman exclaimed. “I have no feelings for Virgil…” he reconsidered, “not like that!”

In a quick save, Logan hid his laugh with a frown and an inhale.

“Excellent example of being wrong, you’ll be a great help to Logan’s statistics” Janus grinned.

Everybody was looking at him.

Normally, he’d like that, because it was the natural order of things. At the present time, though, he felt paralysed by a sudden onslaught of contradicting feelings and thoughts. Unfortunately, all of these things running through his mind popped in and out too fast for him to process them as more than a jumble of nonsense.

That is to say, he drew a complete blank, cursing his ADHD.

“But-but… I’m not in” he started slowly, trying to organise his ideas.

Then, went down with the first thing to come out of his mouth because working under pressure is not his thing.

“Like, I spend a ton of time with him, but what do you know? And, honestly, you’re just jealous Virge pays more attention to me because he’s almost as great as me. By the way, Janus steals your crofters when you don’t look, someone has to say it, because we’re outing people’s secrets, except not mine’s ‘cause I’m not in love with…”

Patton stood up, knowing he’d have to help everyone brace themselves.

All at the same time, the following was spoken or shouted:

“Snitch!”

“He did what?!”

“Oh my... I’m in love with Virgil”

Next>>

Thx for reading. Reblog or comment if it made you laugh <3

Taglist: COME AT ME BRO, COME AT ME, write a comment and tell me to tag you for the next chapter, I DARE YOU /nm /lh /j

#prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #background moceit #ts roman #prinxiety fic #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #prinxiety fluff #humor #in this house we stan janus sanders #ts janus #ts patton #ts logan #roman has adhd #doomstypewriter #doomywrites

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slowly-writing · 5 years ago

Text

Cheetos

Jennifer Jareau x Reader

Word count: 1.7k

Requested by anon: maybe if you get a chance....... jj is obsessed with cheetos right? what about asking her out using cheetos somehow

You spend a lot of time paying attention to what makes JJ happy. Probably too much time, but that's besides the point. You’ve only needed to act on this once and what worked oddly enough, was a bag of cheetos. You found out by accident one day. You were on the plane home from a case, you’d lost a child and JJ was beating herself up over it.

“JJ, you’ve gotta eat something. I know you haven’t eaten since yesterday,” you beg but she shakes her head.

“I’m not hungry.” her response is short and you sigh, walking over to the kitchen area on the jet and grabbing the first thing you see, a bag of cheetos, and placing them on her lap.

“Now I’m not going anywhere until you eat those, so we can either sit here and stare at each other for the remainder of this 5 hour flight, or you can eat the damn chips and I’ll leave you alone,” you say firmly, planting yourself in the seat across from her. You expect her to snap, maybe even throw the bag at you, but to your surprise she smiles. It’s a small one but it’s there, and then she opens the bag and eats it all.

You stored that knowledge away for a rainy day, which seems to be happening right now. She’s been moody all day. She didn’t acknowledge any of you when she walked in, simply sitting at her desk and glaring at her paperwork. The team had been speculating all day as to what could be bothering her. Reid spit out a bunch of fats that just confused you and when Morgan mentioned her period he got smacked by both you and Emily. Emily suggested a fight with her “secret” boyfriend and everyone agreed that was probably it.

At the mention of Will you retreated into your own head. You being in love with JJ was about as much of a secret as the fact that she was in a relationship. The only difference was you knew everyone was aware of your poorly hidden crush, everyone but JJ.

Deciding you no longer wanted to talk to the team you walked over to JJ’s desk, hoping to be able to cheer her up.

“Hey, JJ. You wanna grab lunch?” you ask tentatively, hoping not to anger her more. It seems you’ve failed as her glare turns from her desk towards you.

“And why would I want to do that?” she snaps and your eyes go wide. You stumble back a few steps as if her words have hurt you, which they obviously couldn’t. At least not physically.

“Oh I….nevermind,” you trail off, locking your gaze on the floor and rushing to your desk. You’ve never been more grateful that your’s and JJ’s desks were on opposite sides of the room. With the way they were positioned and the amount of people flowing in and out from their breaks she couldn’t see you looking like a kicked puppy. Unfortunately the rest of the team could and their looks of pity only made you feel worse. You quickly open your desk drawer, setting your laptop inside and taking a bag of cheetos out. You grab your bag and make your way out of the bullpen, setting the snack on JJ’s desk while you pass it as quietly as you can. In your effort to avoid eye contact you miss the soft smile she sends after you.

xxxxx

Her anger doesn’t last long, and she does make sure to apologize to you. You brush it off, stating that everyone has bad days and you both move on. The team finally has a break in cases and with your newfound freedom have gathered for family game night. You’re all huddled into Garcia’s small living room playing a truly vicious game of monopoly. Spencer was the banker, having been banned for using statistics to win every round, but he was enjoying watching the chaos. Garcia had little to no strategy. She bought the property that matched her “aesthetic” and nothing else. Hotch silently watched and strategically bought what others needed, selling it to them for a higher price. Rossi and Morgan bought what they thought would make them the most money. You bought a few properties, but mostly just sat back and watched while the others fought it out. Emily almost always played way too aggressively and bankrupted herself buying every property she landed on. You’re pretty sure it was just to make Reid angry though, he always got frustrated and told her how it was statistically improbable that she would win like that to which she responded, “improbable. Not impossible.”

Morgan was in the lead this week with JJ in dead last. Emily had already lost, but everyone else besides falling between the two.

“Alright little mama, you're up,” the smirk on Margans face as he hands JJ the dice makes you roll your eyes. He’s ridiculously cocky, but unfortunately it’s one of the things you love about him. JJ takes a deep breath before rolling a three and landing on Morgan’s property, subsequently bankrupting her.

“Aw no! Better luck next time!” Garcia’s words would sound condescending from anyone else, but from her they sound sincere.

“Thanks Pen,” JJ says before slouching in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest.

“If it makes you feel better, you lasted longer than me,” Emily offers and JJ’s pout deepens.

“An aardvark would last longer than you,” JJ grumbles, causing everyone to laugh before turning back to the game. You nudge JJ with your elbow slyly handing her the Cheetos you’d brought when she looks your way. Her pout instantly disappears and she’s laughing, gratefully accepting the bag with a wide smile. You smile as well, feeling accomplished having cheered her up, even if it was over something silly.

xxxxx

You noticed JJ’s been a bit down lately. Not mean, not angry, just sad. She stays to herself, and when she does engage in conversation she’s quiet and closed off. Everyone has tried to talk to her about it, but she just shrugs it off as being tired or sick, but you know it’s more.

It’s just the two of you left in the bullpen, everyone else having retreated off to their Friday evening plans, or lack thereof in Reid’s case. When you look over at her she’s staring off into space and you debate asking her what’s wrong. Your internal debate leads you not to, she’s made it clear she doesn’t want to talk. You’re going to leave her be when you remember your secret weapon.

Smiling to yourself you grab a bag of Cheetos out of your desk and make your way over to her whisper her name to draw her attention.

“Oh hey, what’s up?” She asks and you send her a soft smile.

“Nothing I just…” you trail off, setting the bag on her desk. She stares at it for a moment and you go to turn away, stopping when she grabs your arm.

“Wait. I…” she trails off, searching your eyes for the answer to a question she hasn’t even asked yet. “Why?”

“Why what?” You prod gently, genuinely confused on what she means.

“Whenever I’m upset, you’re always there with Cheetos and a smile, no matter how mean I’ve been to you. Why?” She clarifies and you shrug slightly, looking to the floor to avoid eye contact.

“Oh, uh. I figured out that they’re your favorite, and it always seems to cheer you up. I just want you to be happy,” you say and she stares again.

“Why?” You roll your eyes, amused at the one word replies.

“JJ, I’m really gonna need more words from you if you want to hold a conversation,” you tease and she smiles.

“Why do you want me to be happy?” you start to answer and she cuts you off, “and don’t say it’s because we’re friends. You and I both know you don’t do this stuff for Emily or Spence. I want to know why you’re really doing this.”

“I’ve been in love with you for a long time now,” you say simply. “The rest of the team figured it out months ago, I’m surprised you hadn’t yet.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She sounds like she’s in awe, and you're shocked by the fact that she truly didn’t seem to know.

“Well, you’re with Will. As much as I want to be with you, I’d rather you be happy. If he makes you happy, then I’ll settle for being your friend who gives you Cheetos when you’re sad,” you say, with a self deprecating laugh, “as long as you’re happy.”

“How did you know that?” She asks in shock and you laugh for real.

“JJ, you’re not as sneaky as you’d like to think. We’ve all known since a week after we got back from New Orleans, but you were happy so I didn’t say anything.”

“But what about you?” You shrug.

“What about me?”

“You seem to be only concerned about my happiness. What about yours?” JJ asks, stepping closer and taking your hand. “Y/n, Will and I broke up last week. I realized it wasn’t him I liked, just the idea of him. I’m actually….in love with someone else.”

“JJ I really want you to be happy but I don’t think I can handle the emotional whiplash I’ll get if you say someone else right now. So just tell me straight up. Do I have a chance?” You ask, heart beating a mile a minute. Whatever the answer is, your relationship is about to change forever.

“Yes dummy, you have a really good chance,” she says before pulling you into a kiss. It’s everything you imagined and so much more, but it ends quickly as JJ starts giggling.

“What? What’s so funny?” you’re unable to hold back your smile at the joy on her face. Her smile is infectious, and you could stare at it for the rest of time. The next words out of her mouth have you joining in on the laughter

“I can’t believe Cheetos brought us together.”

tag list: @rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @worlds-in-words @im-salt-but-not-salty @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff @xxxtwilightaxelxxx

CM tag list: @reidingandwriting

#jj x reader #jj x you #jj criminal minds #jj fanfic #jj x fem!reader #jj x y/n #jj fanfiction #Jennifer jareau x reader #jennifer jareau #Jennifer jareau x female!reader #Jennifer Jareau fanfic #Jennifer jareau reader insert #Criminal Minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds reader insert #criminal minds fic #criminal minds reader #cheetos

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nyarmand · 4 years ago

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my ranking of the alex rider original series (stormbreaker through scorpia rising) from ‘book i least enjoy rereading’ to ‘book i most enjoy rereading’ let’s goooo

spoilers for all 9 books under the cut

9. Ark Angel

...He went to space. He went to space. Also the entire plot could have been avoided if Drevin had actually bothered to provide a photograph of his son. I’m sure he had one. I still like this book but it’s literally so insane that I just don’t know what to do with it.

It is however really funny that Webber just goes and gives a speech insulting this super high-profile ecoterrorist group and acts like it’s no big deal and then they kill him. Shock of shocks.

8. Skeleton Key

Okay, points to this book for terrifying the shit out of me. God damn it does that shark scene scare me. Also, points for making me feel a little bit bad for a man who wants to nuke his own country because he thinks it will fix the place up. I’m still not entirely sure how that’s supposed to work, but that’s probably a good thing. I feel like understanding his thought process would say bad things about me. Still, I actually did feel sorry for him, if only a little. Dude was clearly mentally unstable and I doubt his son’s death helped at all. I also got sad about what happened to Carver and Troy. (Yeah, yeah, I’m a cringe fail American who has the American release. So sue me.) What a nightmare that must’ve been to endure... Otherwise, though, I’m not super into this book. The opening is just kind of meh and the way it leads into the rest of the plot seems a little bit unbelievable. Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but Sabina annoys me. I would not get along with her at all and I can’t imagine her as a girlfriend. Skeleton Key does, however, absolutely excel at the emotional scenes.

Also, why are all the spy agencies so comfortable with sending in a 14-year-old? Especially when they outright admit that the other attempts have all died horribly? Bureaucracy’s a bitch.

7. Point Blank

Boo, Dr. Grief! Boo! We hate your white supremacy! I’m so glad you got a snowmobile to the face, you deserved it. (Perks of books written by Jewish people--we aren’t afraid to give the neo-Nazis an unpleasant death.) Anyway, this book definitely isn’t bad, but I wouldn’t really say it stands out in the series. It definitely does hammer home the point of just how trapped Alex is, since MI6 isn’t going to just let him go after one mission, and let’s face it, the plot with the clones is creepy as hell, if highly improbable. But I’m largely just here to see the neo-Nazi get snowmobiled. That’s right, I just completely changed the definition of a pre-established word. I’m a rebel.

Also, I hate Fiona Friend so much and overall think she just didn’t need to be in the book, but the line about ‘I’d rather kiss the horse’ made me laugh so hard. Alex, you sass.

6. Snakehead

Okay, let’s talk about how genius the plan in this book is. I love it! I love how Yu wants to kill the people involved in the peace conference without making them into martyrs, so he comes up with this whole elaborate plan to stage a natural disaster. It’s incredible. This dude was thinking so far ahead. And he would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling kid... But anyway, I don’t see a lot of books where the villain really acknowledges that killing their enemies could just cause more problems for them via turning them into martyrs for a cause. Also, the way he’s so polite and soft-spoken while also being a complete monster... This book genuinely gives me chills. Extra bonus points for the part in the hospital, the absolute nightmare of having all your organs slowly removed and sold off and everyone around you is being so nice about it? ‘Oh, don’t worry, Alex, it won’t be so bad. Here, take your medicine. Do you need anything?’ Literally just. What the fuck.

Also Ash can fucking fight me. You put your own godson in horrible danger on purpose! You killed your best friend! Bastard.

...And just in case the book wasn’t disturbing enough, Yu’s fate at the end lives in my mind rent-free and I think about it on a concerningly regular basis considering that the chances of that happening to me are so low they’re practically in the negatives. Damn you, Horowitz.

I would also be remiss if I did not mention just how much I love the tagline ‘once bitten, twice spy’.

5. Crocodile Tears

Ah yes, the book that kickstarted my drift away from the church... I kid, of course. I drifted away from the church for completely separate reasons. But Desmond McCain is always going to scare the shit out of me. The ability to kill countless innocent people while blissfully quoting Bible verses (that he takes wildly out of context and uses for his own self-serving means) is... well, I could actually say a lot about what that reminds me of, but I’m here to rate books, not religion. Moving on. This book has some really stellar antagonists, and the plot is chilling in a way that feels a lot more realistic than most of the other books. Even if some of it is a bit farfetched (sabotaging a nuclear power plant? Really?), the idea of using disasters for your own profit... well. I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate on why that is so believable. The Poison Dome is also a really cool and chilling scene--even Alex, who has the luck of the devil, can’t get out of that one unscathed. Further scares come in with the fate of Harold Bulman--imagine having your entire existence wiped and your identity changed while you were asleep! The breakdown he has over it is almost enough to make me feel sorry for him, even though he was ready to exploit a teenager and make his life a living hell just to turn a profit. Note the word almost.

Also. The opening makes me cry. Specifically the line talking about how Ravi’s kids would ‘never meet Mickey Mouse’. I lose my goddamn mind every single time I read it. That little personal touch turns the scene from a statistic to a tragedy. Once again: Damn you, Horowitz.

4. Stormbreaker

Yeah, this one gets the special cover shot. And why not? What we are looking at here is the birth of a legend. Move the fuck over, James Bond, Alex Rider is on the scene now. Anyway, yeah, this book is pretty damn spectacular. It has its stumbles, but as the first book in a series, that’s to be expected. Still, it pulls you in from quite literally the first line and keeps you going right up until the end. (If you came here from my post of memes, you know how much the line ‘Killing is for grownups, and you’re still a child’ destroys me.) It has the debut of much-beloved characters such as, of course, Alex--but also Jack Starbright, and of course, the best MI6 agent of them all, which is to say Smithers. Hell, even Yassen Gregorovich, especially once you get through Russian Roulette... Man, that was a rough one.

Seriously, though. This is a really good book. The scene with the Portuguese man-o’-war still gives me the chills to think about. (Have you ever looked up pictures of those things? They’re beautiful, but holy shit will they make you regret being born. Nature is funny like that.)

We also get the introduction of, of course, Alex’s patented sass (his response to Sayle saying he relates to the man-o’-war is HILARIOUS) and we get the inherent humor of Alex screwing up an alias one time and then just going by Alex for the rest of the series so he doesn’t do that again. Really, kid, I know you’re not a trained spy or anything but did you never play pretend growing up? Ever? You can’t pretend your name is Felix for a little while? That sounds like a you problem.

3. Scorpia Rising

I distinctly remember when this book came out, actually. I was on vacation at the time, and I remember my brother annoying the hell out of the poor workers at a bookstore we frequented there to see if/when they were going to get it in. They did, finally, and we bought it immediately, and I was of course absolutely desperate to read it. He got to read it first, though. -_-

This is a great book, an absolute emotional rollercoaster all the way through. The way Blunt tricks Alex back into service by staging a shooting was exactly the kind of cold, brutal behavior I’d expect from him. Seeing Julius come back was shocking, but very exciting, too. And Razim makes an incredibly chilling villain, with his absolute disregard for human life and his desire to measure pain. Also, seeing Smithers’s house was so much fun. Smithers in this book was just really fun in general, but he’s really fun in every book, so... nothing unusual there. But also, I want an unwelcome mat. Please?

2. Eagle Strike

‘But Penny,’ you might ask, ‘why is this book so high on your list? It has so much of Sabina in it, and you said she annoys you.’ That is true. What does not annoy me, however, is basically the entire rest of the book. I love the tense opening, and then reading through Alex’s real-life ‘playthrough’ of Feathered Serpent is still one of my favorite scenes. Cray is absolutely incredible as a villain, with the way that he truly believes in his cause--which is undoubtedly a good one! Yet the extremes to which he will go for that cause, and the fact that he very nearly succeeds, are what elevate him to one of the most dangerous villains in the series. That scene with Charlie Roper and the nickels is something I can never seem to stop thinking about. Actually, I think about it basically whenever I think about large amounts of money paid in small increments...

Also, I really enjoy how he gets into the whole plot in the first place, and I really enjoy Smithers saying ‘ah, fuck it’ and helping him out anyway. Go, Smithers. You once again prove me right in saying that you’re the coolest adult in MI6.

The revelation that Yassen knew Alex’s father is one that absolutely blew my mind first time around. The way his life was threaded into the lives of the Rider family--he worked with John Rider, was saved by him, killed Ian Rider, and then died for refusing to kill Alex Rider--wow. Wow. It gets to me. It really gets to me. This book is a masterpiece. I heard that it’s going to be what the second season of the TV series is based off of, and I’m so hyped for that. We love to see it, we really do.

1. Scorpia

I don’t believe anyone who says this book didn’t get to them at all. I just think they are lying. I don’t think it’s humanly possible to not be affected by this book. God. Just thinking about it reminds me of why I don’t think it’s possible. I mean, come on. We get all this backstory about Alex’s parents, we get tricked along with him into thinking MI6 killed his father, then bam, that was a lie, and Alex may have just fucked himself over big time. Also, that plot is terrifying! (And I bet anti-vaxxers had a field day with it, huh.) Julia Rothman is a really great antagonist, one of the only ones who didn’t go and explain her plan in great detail to Alex--the fact that she didn’t actually being a plot point was something I personally found pretty clever. In general, this book is... I tend to hate when people say they ‘can’t put it down’ because it’s usually an obvious exaggeration, but that really is how I feel reading it.

And again. If that ending didn’t get to you... Well, I just think you are lying.

#alex rider #spoilers

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lifeofkaze · 4 years ago

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An Art of Balance #2

A/N: Chapter 2, here you go. I can’t believe how much I missed writing, let me tell you :D Also, looking at my draft and at how high the word counts for every chapter I’ve written so far turned out… we’re in for a long one, hope you’ll stay with me through it. Enjoy!

Warning: mild swearing, use of alcohol

Word Count: ~ 2.700

______________________________________________________________

Chapter 2: Secrets Spilt

Orion leaned back contently, supporting his weight on the bench with his hands and let his gaze wander through the Great Hall. It was looking magnificent as ever, packed to the brim with students new and old, chatting excitedly, the air humming with positive energy. They had just finished their welcome feast and waited for the new first years to be escorted to their common rooms, so the older students could follow up.

He felt a smile spread on his face. As much as he appreciated the summer break to reset and focus on himself, there was nothing quite like coming back to what was home to him. He looked at each of his friends around him, grateful for having found so many people over the last years he considered his family.

A group of newly sorted Gryffindors walked past, being ushered along by Gryffindor’s newest prefect. Charlie Weasley, star of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Orion eyed him up curiously. He was undeniably gifted when it came to playing seeker. As a matter of fact, Orion wouldn’t put a professional career past his abilities. If they wanted to have a chance to win the House Cup once again, they had better watch out for him.

When he passed where Lizzie was sitting, he nonchalantly saluted her with two fingers put to his forehead and grinned. Lizzie stuck her tongue out to him before she started laughing and waved back. Charlie gave her a wink and continued along after his brother Bill and their charges. Orion noticed Skye giving Lizzie a glum look.

“Stop that, Jameson, this is competition you’re flirting with.”

“I wasn’t flirting, I was waving at a friend. Get a grip, Skye,” Lizzie snapped at her, clearly exasperated.

Skye only snorted at that. “Whatever. He’s in another house and on top on another team. You can be nice to him all you want, once we’ve shown Gryffindor the ropes on the pitch.”

“What if we’re playing them last, do you expect me not to talk to one of my best friends for the whole year or what?” Lizzie shot her an angry glance. “Besides, if you weren’t so consumed with seeing everyone as competition, you could actually benefit from me being friends with him. He is excellent on his broom. I bet he could even show you a trick or two.”

Skye bristled up at that and Orion felt resignation set in. He had hoped Lizzie and Skye would last at least a week until their inevitable bickering commenced. Although they had been playing on the same team for so many years, their different approach to the sport they both loved so much invariably led to tensions. Tensions that were his responsibility as the team’s captain to resolve.

“Everyone has their strengths as well as their weaknesses. We should not concentrate on others but focus on how we can overcome our weak sides to rise stronger than before.” He leaned over the table pushing the two girls glaring at each other gently apart. “It is no use to fight amongst ourselves when we have a common goal to achieve.”

“He’s right, you know,” Penny agreed happily. “I’ve had enough of the Cup being dressed in blue and bronze already. You two be nice to each other and take it back for us.”

Much to his surprise, Skye actually let it rest at that, only muttering a stubborn “They could show me shit, Jameson, as if…” but Lizzie wasn’t listening to her anymore. Rowan was walking past with their new housemates in tow and Lizzie jumped up, walking over to her. Though Orion couldn’t hear what they said, he saw Lizzie return of few moments later, looking puzzled and Rowan leaving with the first years.

He opened his mouth to ask what was bothering her but was cut short by McNully announcing Hufflepuff’s first years to have been the last of them and it being high time they left for their common room as well.

Saying he was relieved to finally be able to get out of his school uniform would have been an understatement. He shrugged into his battered coat, running his hand over the worn fabric. It had been with him for so long it almost felt part of his identity. Orion felt himself relaxing more and more. Laying back on his bed, arms crossed behind his head, he closed his eyes and let the familiar smell of warm wood and the fire from the common room wash over him.

This was home.

The other boys sharing the dorm with him were still gathered around the giant fireplace, but he didn’t mind. Although they were about to start their sixth year together, he didn’t really feel connected to them. The only exception was McNully, who shared his passion about Quidditch, albeit in quite a different way.

He propped himself up on his side and reached over to his nightstand, where he had put up pictures of his team he had collected over the course of the years. Picking up the first one he could reach, he fell back again, letting his mind wander back to the glaringly hot day the photograph had been taken. It was a snapshot of the team celebrating a last-minute win against Ravenclaw two years ago. He could almost feel the heat of the sun on his skin as he looked at the exhilarated faces of his friends. The sudden burst of joy mixed with relief of not being shot out of the race for the Cup had even let Skye forget the fight she had had with Lizzie at the time, both girls having one arm around the other’s shoulder, grinning like mad up at him.

A soft sigh escaped him. As much as he valued his friendship with both of them, Skye and Lizzie could both be a handful, especially when disagreeing with each other. Where Skye was peculiar with her subordinating every aspect of her life to Quidditch and expecting everybody else to do the same, Lizzie was extremely prickly when she felt herself or one of her friends being attacked. Most of the times their quarrel was nothing more than that and they quickly returned to being friends, but every so often it would turn into a downright fight.

Orion looked up when he heard the door opening and the soft noise of McNully’s wheelchair approaching him.

“Taking a trip down memory lane?” McNully came to a halt next to him, looking curiously at the picture Orion was holding in his hands.

“Yes, setting my mind for all the things that need to be done for the new season.”

McNully leaned closer, eyes shining excitedly. “And there are a lot of these! You need to find a new beater, scout out what the other teams are up to, assess their strengths and weaknesses- “

“Good to see you have already worked out my whole schedule,” Orion interrupted him flatly.

McNully gracefully ignored the rare sarcasm in his friend’s voice. “What did you expect, I had the whole summer to think about this. And if you want to know, I do think Gryffindor will be your hardest contender for the top. Contrary to us, their team remains unchanged and they only lost to us last year due to circumstances that are highly improbable to repeat themselves.”

Fading his voice out, Orion’s mind went back to what had happened in the Great Hall earlier. McNully was right. None of the other houses should be underestimated, but he had a feeling Gryffindor maybe deserved the closest look out of all of them. Although he really wouldn’t like to admit it out loud, in some way Skye had a point.

He looked over at McNully, lost in thought. “Do you think Lizzie and Charlie being so close could be a problem for us? Got any statistics for me on inter-house friendships influencing performance? Or was Skye overreacting earlier?”

The blond wizard only laughed. “Hey, don’t ask me about inter-personal relationships, especially regarding your teammates. After all,” and he rolled over to his own bed, smiling innocently, “I’m just your ever impartial commentator.”

***

Lizzie’s face hurt from laughing. She leaned back against her bed post and wiped a tear from her eye while Tonks stopped her impersonation of Professor McGonagall, turning her face back into its original state. She reached for the bottle of cherry liquor they had been passing around. Shaking it gently she listened to the remainders of the liquid slosh inside.

“Uh-oh, girls, we’re almost done.” She set the bottle to her lips, emptying it in one big gulp.

“Oi, Tonks, let us in on the fun!” Skye protested but Tonks only grinned and burped before tossing her the empty bottle.

Lizzie felt herself giggling again, giddy from the alcohol coursing through her body.

Penny, who sat next to her, leaned forward and snatched the bottle out of Skye’s hands. Her cheeks were flushed and her voice already had slight slur to it. “To mark the occasion of me having my favourite girls ever back, how about a round of good old truth-and-dare?”

Everybody groaned but got up anyway and sat down in a circle on the floor. Penny placed the bottle in the middle and got her wand out.

“Remember, everyone not telling the truth or chickening out on the dare gets to live with neon green hair for the rest of the week. Except for Tonks who has to go with a boring colour of her choice.”

To emphasise the stakes, Tonks let her hair change colour, showcasing such a bright green it actually hurt to look at her.

Lizzie felt the familiar tingling on her skin as Penny cast the spell on them. She glanced sideways at Rowan, who didn’t look to keen on the prospect of the game, but said nothing. Maybe it would loosen her up a bit.

Penny spun the bottle. It came to rest on Tonks, who confidently chose a dare. Penny thought about it for a second. “I dare you to prank Madam Pince before the end of the week. “

Tonks laughed out loud. “Consider it done. And here was me thinking this was about something I don’t want to do.” She spun the bottle again, this time it stopped pointing at Lizzie. She tensed a little bit.

“Alright, Lizzie, truth or dare?”

Lizzie remembered the last time she had chosen the dare vividly. They had made her lecture Snape on every detail about her hair care routine, complete with a recommendation of her favourite shampoo. It had cost her ten house points, detention and a good chunk of her dignity.

Considering that, she really had no choice. “Truth, I guess. I’m too scared of you, Tonks.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you, we’re only on warm up. Have you been kissed before?”

Lizzie felt a blush creep up her face. Avoiding her friends’ curious faces she looked up at the ceiling. “Yes.”

“What?!” Penny shrieked, gripping her arm. “Who? When? Don’t be a buzzkill, tell us everything!”

Lizzie shook her head. “Not a chance.”

“You have to tell us!” Tonks complained. “You have to answer my question!”

“I know. I did. You didn’t ask for any details, so I have to tell you bugger all.” Ignoring Tonks’ pout, she grabbed the bottle and quickly spun it. She could feel Rowan’s eyes resting on her and felt a little guilty. She hadn’t even told her best friend about her first kiss.

She could still feel Rowan watching her while she dared Skye walking into the Great Hall at breakfast like a chicken but when she looked over, Rowan quickly dropped her gaze.

“Well, Lizzie, looks like it’s you again.”

She looked back to the middle of the circle where the bottle pointed at her for the second time.

Brilliant. She already pictured herself giving Snape an additional lecture on conditioner. She sighed. “Dare.”

Skye blinked innocently at her. “Smashing. I dare you to tell us who your first kiss was with.”

Lizzie looked at her dumbfounded. Tonks and Skye high-fived, looking thoroughly pleased with themselves.

“This is not how his game is working,” Lizzie protested helplessly.

“Yes, it is. Now spill the beans!” Skye replied smugly.

For a second, Lizzie contemplated how she would look with green hair, but with another glance at Tonks’s radiantly glowing head, she gave in to the inevitable.

Covering her face with her hands, she mumbled something incomprehensible.

Skye put a hand to her hear. “Sorry, can’t hear you!”

Exasperated, Lizzie threw her head back and exclaimed, “Alright, it was Charlie Weasley! There you have it!”

Her friends’ reactions came all at once. Penny was squealing, whereas Skye was glaring at her, yelling “Jameson, seriously?!”. Tonks was laughing her head off.

“I can’t believe it, Dragon Boy got himself a girlfriend!” she roared.

Lizzie fiercely shook her head. “Merlin, no, don’t you get any ideas! It was just that one kiss, nothing more. It was Christmas, there was a mistletoe and that is it! End of story!”

Penny couldn’t contain herself with excitement. “You two spent Christmas together? How come I never knew? Lizzie, you have to tell me everything. Right. Now.”

Again, Lizzie buried her face in her hands. Suddenly the prospect of lecturing Snape didn’t sound so bad.

Suddenly Rowan spoke up next to her. “You heard what she said. It was nothing serious and the dare is fulfilled. Leave her alone.”

Surprised, Lizzie looked over to her. For the first time that evening, Rowan smiled at her, albeit it was somewhat restrained.

She got up. “In fact, I think we’ve all had enough. Let’s call it a day, shall we?” With that, she snatched the bottle from the floor, grabbed her things from her bed and left the room.

Lizzie had been tossing and turning for over an hour now, listening to Skye softly snoring in the bed to her right. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through Mouse’s thick fur, who was rolled into a tight ball against her stomach. After returning from home, it always took her a few nights to get accustomed to sharing her room with other people again.

When she heard Rowan getting out of bed on her other side, she propped herself up onto her elbows. She could see her friend tiptoeing over to the dresser at the far end of the room, pouring herself a glass of water.

Lizzie watched her silhouette quietly. Better get this over with now.

She waited until her friend returned before turning to her side.

“Rowan?” she whispered quietly.

She could see the other girl looking up, although her features were indiscernible in the darkness.

“Lizzie? Can’t sleep, can you?”

“Yeah.” Rowan knew she always had trouble falling asleep for the first few nights. “Can I ask you something?”

Rowan didn’t answer immediately. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were made a prefect?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about you and Charlie?” she retorted. Lizzie could hear the hurt in her best friend’s voice.

She sighed softly. “I’m sorry, I know should have. We just thought, keeping this between ourselves would prevent stupid rumours from spreading. It was just for fun.”

Rowan didn’t reply at first. Then, “It’s alright.”

“Now you. Why didn’t you tell me about the prefect thing?”

“This has nothing to do with you personally, really. It’s just… you have gotten so absorbed into this whole Quidditch world; I feel like I can’t keep up. Sometimes it’s like I’m not that big a part of your life anymore, Liz.”

Lizzie felt a punch of sadness at her words. And a tad guilty as well. “You could have told me anytime. You are my best friend, Rowan, you are part of everything I do.”

Although she couldn’t see her face, she heard the smile in Rowan’s voice. “That’s good to know.”

They were both silent for a bit.

“Rowan?”

“Hm?” she replied sleepily.

“Thanks for helping me out earlier.”

“Sure. Good night, Lizzie.”

“Good night.”

Lizzie snuggled herself into her blanket, moving Mouse a little bit to make herself more comfortable. She couldn’t shake the feeling there was something Rowan had not told her. But before she could think on it any further, she had already drifted off to sleep.

#harry potter #hogwarts mystery #hphm #orion amari #orion amari x mc #orion x mc #lizzie jameson #skye parkin #penny haywood #rowan khanna #murphy mcnully #charlie weasley #quidditch squad #the quidditch squad #art of balance

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apuzzlingguy · 5 years ago

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LMFAO

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I'm posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to fucking go.

So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.

"If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them.

"Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question.

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY.

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. This was posted to reddit a while back and the user deleted their profile so I can’t give credit :(

#sunfish #ocean #wall of text #funnystories

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rhub4rb · 6 years ago

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Of Birds and Bugs

AO3

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

-_-_-_-

Gotham truly was a beautiful city.

Marinette had gotten a good look at it after she had transformed, flying up in the air and looking for a good place to detransform in, ending up in an alley somewhere.

Her Ladybug suit had changed after her debut as NeTi. Now, she had a black, long-sleeve cheongsam top, with a red sleeveless top that had a round neckline, dots placed a bit more strategically with one small at the top, one big in the middle, and another small one at the bottom front, where it stopped around her bellybutton. It had two long coattails, going down to her knees. Her legs and stomach were completely black, save for the red soles on her shoes.

She had been quite happy to find that there was a hole in the middle of her back, where wings now resided on her bare skin.

After Marinette had detransformed, she had panicked when she realized she had forgotten her medical mask back in her hotel room. Tikki told Marinette to just put up her hood and then it would be hard to recognize her.

So, Marinette walked the dark streets of Gotham alone, and despite everything in her logical mind yelling that it wasn't safe, Marinette hadn't felt this relaxed in ages. Maybe it was the continuous sound of cars driving by, or the chatter of people walking down the streets.

Marinette, in all her loneliness, had taken to keeping her skylight open at night, focusing on the sound of people.

For some reason, it helped her breathe.

Of course, that came with its own set of dangers, namely Chat Noir, but Marinette had gotten good at waking up from the sense of him near.

It was nice that no one seemed to recognize her either. She knew that it was probably because of the dark and her hoodie dress, but it was still a nice little break.

Marinette let out a sigh, her shoulders slumping. She pulled out her phone, going wide-eyed as she saw what the time was.

"I should probably head back to the hotel..." She mumbled under her breath.

She looked around, before discreetly walking into an alley where she could transform. Marinette pulled on her oversized hoodie's neckline, Tikki sleeping in one of the inside pockets she had made.

Marinette was just about to tell Tikki that it was time to go, when she heard a thud on the roof of one of the buildings.

She let go of her neckline quickly, and looked up, only to see a boy's silhouette.

It was a standard patrol that night.

It had been pretty uneventful so far, in Damian's opinion, and he really wasn't in the mood to go around Gotham today.

For some weird reason, his father had thought it was a good idea to invite an entire class from France to visit Gotham, and Damian just knew that at least one of them would cause problems. He did not feel like babysitting a class full of foreigners that didn't speak English, no thank you.

Damian snapped out of his internal complaining however when he spotted a hooded figure walking into a dark alley. He felt suspicion crawl up his neck, and he quickly told the others that he was checking something out real quick.

When he landed on the roof of one of the buildings, the person quickly turned around to see where the noise came from.

Damian felt his breathing hitch when wide bluebell eyes met his.

In the girl's fast turn, her hood had fallen off, revealing midnight blue hair, hiding peach pink coloring.

"Hello..." She said faintly, and Damian noted a slight heating in his cheeks.

"You know, it's quite late for an attractive girl like yourself to be out. Especially in Gotham."

"O-oh!" The girl coughed, looking anywhere but at him. "I- uh, I got a bit lost. I've never been to Gotham before so..." she trailed off, her foot awkwardly kicking the ground.

Damian heard a slight french accent, and he wondered if she was part of the French class he had been complaining about all day.

"You're one of the heroes from here, right?" She looked up at him with her big eyes, and Damian hated how endearing it made her appear.

"Robin," he said curtly.

The girl smiled brightly at him, Damian cursing his heart for fluttering.

"My name's Marinette, I'm here with my class on a trip from France. It's an honor to meet you."

Her name sounded familiar to him, but he brushed it off. He had met so many people in his life already, he wouldn't be surprised if he'd met a Marinette before.

"Well Angel, how about I take you back to the hotel," he spoke before thinking.

Damian considered taking back the statement for a moment, but the way the girl's eyes lit up and her smile widened made him stop in his tracks.

"I mean, if it's not a bother then-"

"Of course not," Damian jumped down from the roof, and for the first time got a closer look at the girl's face.

He noticed the faint freckles peppering her cheeks, as well as the light blush that even touched her ears. Damian thought she looked familiar, but he shook the thought out of his head.

This was her first time in Gotham, so there was no reason for her to seem familiar to him.

She was pretty too, beautiful even. He felt as if he would remember if he had met her.

"So, Angel, are you ready?"

Her answering smile had his heart beating faster.

Marinette thought about Robin as she lied in her hotel bed, trying to fall asleep.

The heroes in Gotham were different to those in Paris.

Robin couldn't be much older than Marinette herself, and yet here he was fighting crime, even without a protective layer of magic to help him.

It was something that had always scared Marinette about the heroes without magic. They were just normal human beings, they weren't built for fighting the same way Marinette now was.

Of course, Marinette wasn't magic, at least not completely, but she still had magic that helped protect her, and that magic was powered by what was essentially the goddess of creation!

It was both inspiring and nerve-wracking at the same time.

Marinette let out a sigh.

She had woken up about an hour ago, having fallen out of the bed. Marinette stayed mostly quiet, not wanting to wake Tikki up at three in the morning, so instead, she had spent the early hours of the morning being on her phone.

Now an hour had gone by however, and Marinette was starting to feel both restless and bored.

She checked the time, deciding to take a shower. There was still a while before the class had to meet up, so she wasn't too worried about not making it in time. Truth be told, Marinette hadn't been late to school in a while. Now she always woke up early, having a quick one hour practice before getting ready to leave.

Of course, there were more enjoyable ways to wake up, and falling out of the bed was never really nice. Marinette was happy to say that it didn't happen too often however.

When she was done with her shower, Marinette started to get dressed, noticing her phone buzzing on the bed, stirring Tikki slightly.

Marinette went to turn it off when she read the messages that had been sent.

'Lila somehow managed to talk to Bustier into changing some plans'

The first text from Alix read, and Marinette's heart sunk.

'we're leaving early- Lila told Bustier she had informed you of the changes'

Panic took its place in Marinette's stomach.

'the bus leaves @8'

Marinette quickly looked at the time, and for a moment, she wanted nothing more than to throw her phone.

8:05

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves.

This was fine. She would just ask Claude, her bodyguard, to drive her there. He was going to come with her anyway for the tour anyway.

Marinette sighed, nudging Tikki awake.

"Time to wake up Tikki, Claude will drive us to the Wayne building."

"Wh- wha?"

Marinette just smiled at her drowsy kwami, before putting Tikki in her purse and putting on her black medical mask.

When she walked out of her room, she saw Claud stood ready for her outside of her door.

"I'm sorry to inform you that your class has already left," Claude said, wincing at his words.

"Yeah, I know, Alix texted me that Lila pulled some strings," Marinette grinned wrily, though Claude couldn't see it. "I don't know what strings she has to pull, but..." she shrugged.

Claude sighed, ruffling her hair and ignoring the indignant 'hey!'.

"Let's go Mari, I'm sure you don't want to be more late than you already are."

Dick was looking very forward to the french class arriving for the tour.

After Damian had gone slightly off route for last night's patrol, then saying that he would be back but then not showing up for an hour, it made his three brothers drill him about what happened.

It took a while, and a lot of prying, but Dick figured it out before the others did.

"So who's the girl?"

Damian had stiffened, and that was when Dick knew he had hit the mark.

The others had noticed too, and Jason had pounced immediately.

"A girl talked to Demon Spawn and didn't immediately run for the hills?" He asked in overdramatized shock. "This is a once in a lifetime chance! No way another girl will do that."

"Shut up, Todd," Damian grit out.

Dick would have felt bad for Damian, if it weren't for the fact that he found it way too amusing.

"It's a statistical improbability!" Tim added.

"So, what is the unfortunate soul's name?" Jason asked, slinging his arm over Damian's shoulder.

Damian crinkled his nose in disdain, lifting Jason's arm off of his shoulder in disgust. Looking around the excited faces of his brothers, he let out a tired sigh and crossed his arms.

"Marinette," He grumbled out. "I didn't get her last name, but she's here with that french class or whatever."

There was quiet between the brothers for a bit before Dick finally asked.

"You mean Marinette like NeTi Marinette? Rock idol NeTi?" Dick squeaked out.

Damian thought about it a little before shrugging.

"I don't know, but I don't think so? Isn't her hair black or something?" When all of his brothers nodded, Damian shook his head. "Then it wasn't her. Some of her hair was dyed."

The brothers deflated, bummed at the missed opportunity.

Dick, Tim, and Jason were all big NeTi fans. Tim was the first one to start listening to his music. He had always been a big Jagged Stone fan, so when he found out that his favorite musician's "niece" was releasing music, he checked it out. Dick and Jason followed soon after, but Damian never really gave her music a try.

Something about her probably being a flake.

Still, despite the disappointment, Dick wanted a look at the girl who had somehow charmed his youngest brother. Which was why he was confused when the french class arrived, but no girl fitting the description Damian gave was there. After a quick headcount, Dick was quick to bring this to the teacher's attention.

"Mme. Bustier?" The teacher looked at him with a questioning gaze. "You seem to be missing a student."

Her eyes widened, and Dick got the sinking feeling that the teacher hadn't counted her students before leaving the hotel. Great.

"If you wouldn't mind, is it okay if I took attendance for a moment?"

Dick nodded, but Mme. Bustier got cut off before she even got the chance to start.

"Don't worry, that won't be necessary."

Dick looked towards the sound of his brother's voice, his eyes widening at the sight of his brother linking arms with a girl he could only assume was Marinette.

Damian wanted nothing more than to find Marinette the day after patrol.

He used the information that he had, which was her first name and the fact that she was part of the French class that would be touring Wayne Enterprises, to try and find her.

He would have tried to get more information on her, but Bruce had strictly told all of his sons that they were not allowed to research the class, for some stupid reason that he wouldn't tell.

He didn't understand why, and he was highly tempted to say screw the rules, but one stern look from Alfred stopped him.

Instead, he decided to go with his brother to give the tour, in hopes that he could meet the girl as a civilian.

He was quick to notice however, once the class arrived at the front doors where he stood, keeping an eye out for her, that she wasn't there.

His brows furrowed, and he looked around in confusion and counting the class.

She wasn't there.

Had she lied?

No, there was supposed to be one more student, Damian noted as he counted them all.

They didn't forget her, did they?

Damian cursed under his breath and walked out, ignoring his brother calling out to him, as he started heading towards the parking lot. If he was lucky, she would still be at her hotel, and he could run into her there.

He didn't get very far however, as almost as soon as he stepped foot into the parking lot, someone walked into him.

"Hey! Look where you're-"

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going and then-"

Damian was just about to level a glare at the girl, when his eyes widened in recognition.

"-and my class sort of left me behind so I was in a bit of a hurry and-"

She was rambling, he realized, and he wondered briefly about whether or not she had taken a breath yet.

"It's okay," He finally cut her off. "You said your class left you behind?"

He looked her over, noting the black medical mask she was wearing, as well as a tall man in a suit standing not that far behind her, reminding Damian of a bodyguard.

"Yeah, they uh, apparently changed the time of the tour, and I wasn't informed about it, so..." She trailed off.

It angered Damian slightly. He didn't know her, sure, but Gotham wasn't a safe city to be in, especially alone. How the teacher allowed this to happen, he had no idea.

"Well, I happen to know the route the tour is going, I could show you to your class?" Damian asked.

Marinette looked behind her, and when the unknown man in a suit nodded, Marinette beamed at him.

"That would be wonderful, thank you!"

Damian looked at the guy with narrowed eyes before looking at the girl and offering his arm.

"If you don't mind me asking, who's your friend over there?" She stiffened slightly, before laughing awkwardly.

"He's uh... A type of chaperone?" Her eyes crinkled and she shrugged. It was hard to tell what she was thinking or feeling when half of her face was covered. "I'm Marinette, by the way. Nice to meet you," She smiled.

"Damian. It's nice to meet you too," Damian relaxed, easing into a small smile, and he started to lead the girl towards the irresponsible class. "So Angel, is it your first time in Gotham?"

He hadn't meant for the nickname he had given her the night before to slip, but it didn't seem she noticed, stuttering a response.

"Y-yeah. I only really travel to Asia when I go places..." She trailed off, looking thoughtful.

"Oh? Where have you been?"

And just like that, they fell into easy conversation.

At least, until they reached the class.

-_-_-_-

@ozmav @skyel0ve @kuroko26 @shizukiryuu @fangirl-food-feelings @driftingmoonlitpetals @spicybelladonna @thebookwormfairy @god-is-dead-and-so-am-i @melicmusicmagic @minightrose @graduatedmelon @awkwardturtlez @sizzling-fairy-oil @thornangelic727 @royalchaoticfangirl @vixen-uchiha @mewwitch @my-name-is-michell @imfreakingmagical @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @constancetruggle @kae690 @resignedcatservant @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @drama-queen-supreme @derpingrainbow @captainmac6 @k-rena-k @lunar-wolf-warrior @friedchickening @fandomfan315 @fanboy7794 @yin-390 @unholykrow @teresarosiadeviluke2112 @ayuchan07 @seraphichana @justanothersepticeyefan @politelyvicious @roseinbloom02 @uncompressed-boi @cadencehood @kaleigh-girlonfire

#maridami #daminette #maribat #they finally meet #I dont like how long it took me to write this #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng

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hatsunepiku2009 · 5 years ago

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FUCK THE OCEAN SUNFISH

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

#copypasta #not mine #marine life

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aaaa-mpersand · 5 years ago

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OCtober Day 6: Luxury

Thank you @oc-growth-and-development for the prompt, as always. This is three bros, two of them roasting Pacific Rim to hell and back. I’m a big fan of this movie I swear. This is a continuation of the Exy AU, following Finley (from OCtober Day 2: Mercy). He’s in a new team, and he doesn’t need friends, they disappoint him. Very Regrettably for Finley, the friends don’t agree. Fluff with some mild angst at the end. We stan found family. Kaspar and Finley are my characters, Mantis/Margot is @statistical-improbabilities character. I also named dropped @statistical-improbabilities Mya and @carry-on-my-wayward-brain Dusk.

“This is absurd,” Finley said, watching the robot on screen slam a cargo boat into the monster’s face with a deafening crunch.

They were sitting on the floor of Kaspar’s room, rough carpet under their legs, Mantis’ laptop in front of them as an action movie flashed on screen. Finley watched the big robot slap the godzilla-like thing repeatedly in the face, only for the creature to grab them by the tail and rip their boat-made-baseball-bat into half. He vaguely wondered, not for the first time that night, how he’d even gotten here.

“I don’t know about that,” Kaspar said, a tub of ice cream in his lap as he put another spoonful of it into his mouth, never taking his eyes off the screen. “It looks pretty realistic to me.” “Please,” Mantis said next to him. Or Margot. She’d introduced herself as the former, but Kaspar used the latter almost exclusively. Finley had simply avoided calling her by name. “I’ve seen Green Lantern movies with better CGI effects.” “Touche,” he said, but didn’t sound the least bit insulted. He ate another scoop of ice cream. With a certain degree of fear, disgust, and strange admiration, Finley saw he was almost done with the tub. “Shhh, guys, the next part is my favorite fight scene.”

Mantis fell silent, so Finley turned back to the screen. The monster was now playing hide and seek with the robot. How anything as tall as a skyscraper managed to hide, even in a metropolitan like Tokyo, was beyond Finley’s comprehension, but he’d never been to Tokyo, so he stayed silent.

A flashy action shot of the monster, oh so surprisingly, ambushing the protagonists. He let the lights flash from the screen as he thought about what had gotten him here. After spending hours on schoolwork in Mantis’ room, he’d been dragged along to dinner with the two of them. Kaspar suggested they all go to his room to relax before he and Finley went to the gym to do extra practice that night.

Finley hadn’t been pleased.

“Come on, Finley, a little fun never hurt anyone,” Kaspar had said. When Finley had stared back, wholly unconvinced, Kaspar merely smiled fondly and rolled his eyes, as if he’d seen that same look hundreds of times before. “I’ll stay an extra hour to help you on overhead drills.”

“Dusk or Mya are going to get there first,” he muttered, but followed anyway.

Finley watched the monster beat its previously unnoticeable wings and lift the robot into the sky. Tension was supposedly rocketing as fast as that 500 ton beast could fly, which was apparently a thousand miles a second. He was owed a lot of overhead drills for this.

When the protagonists looked like they were about to die, all hope lost, the solution was found in a dramatic twist. The robot fell unceremoniously to the ground from an altitude of 50,000 miles above sea level. Everyone was unscathed.

Kaspar paused the movie.

“Thoughts?” he asked, a smile playing on his ice-cream coated lips as he glanced over at Finley.

“If this movie wanted any shred of my respect, they should’ve both died right there,” Finley said. Despite the fact that he knew Kaspar had a good temper and couldn’t kill a fly, he glanced over to watch his reaction.

“Exactly what I’ve been saying,” Mantis said. Finley blinked in surprise “At the very least, the whole Jaeger should’ve fallen apart. It was way too big to have gotten out of that with just scratches.”

“Yeah, but then it wouldn’t have been as cool,” Kaspar said, leaning back lazily. He seemed completely undisturbed by the fact that both Finley and Mantis had been insulting what he had introduced as his ‘favorite movie of all time’ for the last hour. Mantis, who had evidently watched it a few times already, had said something sarcastic, but sat down to watch it all the same.

In the last 57 minutes, she’d pointed out the main male lead’s horrible haircut, roasted his fashion sense, and cut into three major worldbuilding flaws. Finley joined her cringing, covering his eyes like a vampire in sunlight, when the female lead accidentally walked into the male lead’s room while he was shirtless. “Proper physics is cool,” Mantis said. She reached for the bowl of popcorn, and popped a few in her mouth, before washing it down with an energy drink. Finley didn’t want to know what that tasted like. “This whole thing doesn’t make any sense,” he said, irritably.

“What about it doesn’t make sense?” Kaspar asked. Finley glanced at him. He seemed relaxed. Happy, even, with a content smile on his face. “Everything. Why are giant robots the best weapon in this scenario? They’re going to be rebuilding that place for years with the footprints it left on the roads, let alone the infrastructure damage. Second of all, how do the kaiju keep following the scientist guy around?” “Because he mind-melded with them,” Kaspar said, “The Kaiju are a hive mind.”

Finley snorted. “Why the fuck would anyone mind-meld with a hive mind race of monsters?”

Kaspar shrugged. He tapped his spoon against his chin for a moment, thinking. “Science?” He said, almost to himself, and turned to Mantis questioningly. Finley pulled a look so skeptical he could’ve made Newton doubt whether gravity was real. Mantis, however, thought only for a moment before she nodded, “Science.”

“This is stupid,” he huffed. “To quote,” Mantis pointed out, matter-of-factly, “it’s either the most awesome dumb movie ever made–”

“–Or the dumbest awesome movie ever made,” Kaspar said, almost gleefully, as he pressed the play button. Finley sighed.

He stayed for the rest of the movie.

---

He waited for Kaspar outside the dorms while the other man was grabbing his things to go to the court to practice. It was late by now, the sky ink black save for the few stars visible through all the light pollution. Cold wind made the chilly temperatures just that much colder. Finley waited under a street light, his things all ready, a change of clothes, water bottle, and a pair of gloves in his gym bag. With a sigh, he unzipped it, pulled out the gloves. They were black and maroon––ravens colors––and the only pair he had.

He wrapped his arms around himself. Though years of playing exy had even him lean muscle, he was still scrawny, and not the biggest fan of the cold. Glancing at the door of the dorms, he waited. The two hours he spent watching a dumb action movie indoors would’ve been a luxury unheard of in the Ravens. Siobhan had never been a fan of movies, anyway, so there would’ve been no one for him to watch it with. For that, he was almost grateful; the movie hadn’t gotten better in the second half.

Still, the image stayed in his mind. Kaspar and Mantis, exchanging quips and inside jokes. Mantis didn’t glance over for his reaction when she criticized the protagonist’s haircut to hell and back. When she had run out of her energy drink, Kaspar had promptly pulled another one out and passed it over to her.

He tried to picture himself and Siobhan in those shoes. Finley didn’t have a favorite drink, and what Siobhan said was never a joke.

But they had stood next to each other for so long. A menace on the court, the two of them. An impenetrable defense and an unstoppable offense. It had never been perfect. Admittedly, nothing in The Ravens had been, but still, he sometimes tried to find Siobhan’s triumphant grin on the faces of his new teammates. Her iron will in Kaspar’s eyes when he swung his racquet.

He sighed, staring up at the night sky. In another life, perhaps, though he doubted that concept was anything more than an impossible wish. “Hey, sorry that took awhile,” Kaspar said, stepping out of the dorms. He had obviously rushed, his shoelaces untied, and the horrible orange color of his hoodie clashing with the gold and red of his Trojans track pants.

Finley merely huffed, and stalked down the path without him.

#exy au #aftg #kaspar reveiro #mantis/margot mckinley #finley merrick #pacific rim #oc-tober #my ocs #my writing #siobhan kennely

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grouptalekindnesssoulstories · 5 years ago

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The Missing Songbird

Warnings: Remus being himself, swearing (it’s me. It’ll be colorful), drunken behavior, implied drug use

Characters/relationships: Patton, Virgil, Roman, Remus, Remy, Logan, Dr. Picani (familial Moxiety, Romantic Prinxiety, background Patton x Remy for which I can’t find the name for, Intrulogical)

Roman Patch dreamed of the day he’d meet his soulmate. The man had the most beautiful deep voice, and it was worthy of praises. Virgil Picani was not so sure. His older brother Patton and Dad insisted that he’d be grateful when found his soulmate. They had already found their own, so Vee was skeptical and believed they had a bias (Heh. Logan would be proud of him. Not that he had a say either, having found Remus a number of years earlier. Their relationship had grown with them and it was cute).

Not that the world cared throwing Roman in his path the moment he walked into school. It was his first day in high school. The entirety of freshman year he nursed a crush. On his first day sophomore year, he met Roman’s eyes. For the first time he could see color, and his crush only got worse. That day he was so glad and his father took him out to his favorite restaurant. Nothing came of it, and he watched from afar as Roman dated, acted, and gained more and more popularity. The few times they interacted, Virgil snapped at the handsome man. The two became enemies and avoided each other.

And so began their Junior year.

Roman strutted down the hall. He was basically a school celebrity and everyone knew it. Other than the kids his brother hung out with, including that Virgil who he hated, everyone greeted him enthusiastically. He smiled as he saw his football player brother, talking with his soulmate and Virgil.

“-Pat’s working hard on his vet degree. He’s already excelling in his classes. He finally found ones that teach in his style, and it’s great. Rem’s been real supportive too-” Virgil was leaning against the locker next to Logan, a small smile on his face.

“Hey Stinker and Co!” Roman called, interrupting the rest of the quiet conversation.

“C’mon Ro! I just saw you. Can’t I kiss my boyfriend in peace?” Remus whined, snapping his gum and looping an arm around the smaller kid. Said boyfriend adjusted his glasses, glancing towards the other kid, who had shrank into a more defensive pose at the noise.

“....I’m going to class. See ya later Lo, Re” Virgil mumbled after a few seconds of brotherly glaring, pushing off the locker. He flipped his hood up and ducked into the stream of kids heading that way. He vanished quickly, having learned his routes by heart over the summer.

“Why did you have to do that! He was just telling us about Patton! Y’know the guy you crushed on for 3 years?!” Remus nearly shouted, his eyes narrowed.

“Whatever. I should follow Jack Smellington’s example and go to class” Roman walked away, a storm cloud hanging over his head. He was just having some fun! Now he was in a bad mood and the day had just begun. He threw his bag down in his study hall. Before the period was halfway over, he had gotten a group listening to his summer adventures and what he was planning for the school year. He left with a bounce in his step again, his soulmate had also been humming! His excitement was quickly shut down when he walked into his history class.

“I’m stuck next to him?” His mouth fell open in surprise as he saw the seating arrangement. At a desk near the back his name was paired with his arch-nemesis's, well more like annoyance but that didn’t sound as cool, Virgil Picani. The boy was already there, scribbling on the warm-up, and his purple bangs were falling in his eyes in the most adorable way. Roman shook his head to clear it of the rebellious thoughts. Instead, he focused on the quiet humming in his head from his soulmate.

“Guess we’re stuck with each other emo nightmare-” the humming abruptly stopped, but it must have been from the bell ringing “-So I better not get your sass the whole time”

“Don’t you worry your royal ass, I won’t say much” Virgil hissed, turning his seat slightly away. That period stretched on and on as the pair did their best to act like the other wasn’t there. Roman was grateful to escape to 3rd block, and lunch afterwards. He was disappointed when the humming didn’t return, but it couldn’t get him down. The school was serving the good mac and cheese, and he raced to get in line. As he was looking for a place to sit down, he heard part of a conversation.

“-How am I supposed to get through this? He acts like I’m the worst...the world” Roman moved closer, choosing to sit with some of the other theater kids at a table near the voice. It was Virgil of course, but he wouldn’t admit that he was actually interested.

“Are you sure it’s him?” Logan was asking, his voice curious.

“Yea Lo, The world exploded in color the moment I met his eyes” Roman’s heart sank at that. He didn’t even like the guy! “-a year ago. I just wish I hadn’t panicked and drove him away”

“If he’s truly the one, things will work out. It’s statistically improbable that it won’t”

“Yea! Logie is right” Remus chimed in, and his mouth must have been full of food the idiot.

“Thanks you guys. I need to get going. My art class is kinda far, and I don’t want to get stuck in the crowd” There was a chorus of goodbyes.

If he hated Virgil, why did it feel like Roman’s heart left with him every time they weren’t in the same room?

The next few months went by in a blur. Virgil and Roman avoided each other as much as possible. They shared half of their classes though, but they barely spoke. Roman sat within earshot whenever he could, and he had better ears than most so it was further than you’d think. He caught Vee, Virgil stupid brain talking with the music teacher after the play practice yet another place they were together for. Virgil was in charge of the lights, while Roman was the lead actor.

“You sure you want to do this VP?” Mr. Sanders asked.

“Yea. I think I can do it. Besides, it’s just those of us in the production. I can handle it, and my father has been bothering me for weeks to do it. Pat’s coming home too, so it’d be nice” Virgil shrugged, the small smile Roman kept seeking on his lips.

“Alright. So, you’ll be ready tomorrow?”

“Yup! See you tomorrow” Virgil called as he raced out the door. Mr. Sanders smiled before he clapped his hands together to gather all the kids to him.

“Alright you guys! We have been invited to a pre-production party. I’ll text you all the address, and I hope you guys can come. It’ll start at 4 o’clock, and wear something fun but appropriate. You can all head home now”

“Sure you can do this VeeVee?” Remus was sprawled across the couch, while Roman stood awkwardly in the entrance to the living room.

“Dad’s the one throwing the party. And the moment I say I’ve had too much, Remy and Pat will take over hosting” Virgil shrugged, lounging next to him upside down.

“They’re here Verge of Greatness” Remy called as the doorbell rang.

“Let’s get this party started” Roman smiled, bowing to the host. Virgil rolled his eyes, hissing an insult as he began his duties. The group arrived fairly quickly, reaching close to 100 within half an hour. At first, everything was good. Roman, of course, took over Virgil’s social duties unintentionally. That left the purple haired kid to hang out with his friends and chat with his brother.

“Songbird” A voice called over the crowd, slightly slurred from the snuck in alcohol. Virgil immediately stopped humming along to the music. The voice continued, getting louder and louder.

“Sing ferrrr us Vergil” Roman appeared from the crowd finally, zeroing on the host.

“Fuckin, Remus, you didn’t tell me your brother was a lightweight” Virgil hissed to the twin that wasn’t drunk.

“How was I suppose to know? Need me to get you out?” Remus whispered back, glancing between his small friend and his brother.

“Fuck yea. Lo find my brother. Re, just,,, fucking help” The pair nodded, Remus stepping in front of his brother and Logan disappearing into the crowd. Virgil darted into the crowd and ran into his room. He closed the door and sank to the floor. He remained there until the sounds faded downstairs. A hesitant knock came from his door.

“Dad?” He raised his head, rubbing his face.

“No. It’s...it’s Roman. I wanted to apologize. I’m not drunk anymore. It...Rob gave it to me and I don’t know what it was, but Patton had to treat me. It was not pretty”

“Why. Why did you go to me?” Virgil asked after a second.

“....I’ve had a crush on you for...I don’t know how long. He said whatever it was would boost my confidence. I guess it did, but it was harmful to you” Roman chuckled nervously.

“Look. I don’t know if I can trust you, but I guess I can’t keep this from you forever. You’re my soulmate” Virgil rested his head against the door again, closing his eyes again. He held back tears at the hopeful voice from the other side of the door.

“Really? Then I’m doubly sorry. I...I’m going now. See you at school on Monday. Don’t forget, our lab is due then” The house went silent.

It took a few months until Roman could look Virgil in the eyes. He’d moved to sit with his brother at their table at the opposite end. He wanted to give Virgil space but his heart couldn’t be denied anymore. The change happened in science class.

“Want to be my date to prom?” Virgil nudged Roman, offering a hand. With a smile, he took it and nodded.

“Nothing would give me more pleasure my knight in shining armor”

“ughhhh that’s so cheesy shut up”

“Ma-” Before Roman could finish his taunt, Virgil kissed him. That solved that problem.

Maybe the rest of the year may turn out better than either of them thought.

#romantic prinxiety #ts sides #soulmate au

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donatello-writes · 6 years ago

Text

Not Quite Human, Part III - Donatello x Reader

Part II can be found here --> (x)

Part IV can be found here -> (x)

Here, catch this casket; it is worth the pains. I am glad 'tis night, you do not look on me, For I am much ashamed of my exchange: But love is blind and lovers cannot see.

-The Merchant of Venice

Trembling still, Donatello started backing away again slowly with intent to abscond through the window behind him. Not seeing the chew toy in his path, he tripped over it and fell backwards, and he kept falling...and falling...The vision of your fear-stricken face at the forefront of his mind. Awakening with a start, he sat up in his bed and buried his face into his hands.

"It was...just a nightmare?" He asked himself in shallow breaths, shaken from how real the illusion felt. Taking a few moments to find calm, he finally rose from his bed to go about his routine. As the day wore on, the genius became caught up in his work, and lost track of time. Before he knew it, he was already running late for his date with you.

**********************************

Your nerdy sweetheart waved to you as he ran up, this time he came wearing a new and intriguing accessory which promptly caught your attention, "I like your goggles, very steampunk." Surprised, he felt the top of his head to find that he'd forgotten to take them off. So accustomed to having his goggles on all the time, he didn't even notice that they were still there. He was honestly shocked that this had not happened sooner. With a small smile, he prepared to humble brag about his creation.

"You make fun, but these are actually functional," He stated matter-of-factly while pushing his glasses up his nose. When you gave him a look of skepticism, he removed the item from his head and held it out to you. "Would you like to test them out?" He offered, trying his best not to appear too overly confident as he did so.

Laughing incredulously, you humored him, and donned the apparatus. Much to your amazement, they were fully operational. The invention provided biological breakdowns of various objects within it's range. When you turned your gaze to Donatello, he was careful to avoid your line of sight. For just a few seconds, his chemical make-up flickered before your eyes as you managed to catch a glimpse of him through the lenses.

The information disappeared before you could read it as your lanky beau slipped behind you and attempted to pluck the gadget from your head. Removing them yourself, you held the invention out just far enough to keep it from his grasp. The device listed so much data at once that it was difficult to fully absorb. However, one thing in particular stood out...His heat signature, it was far too low for a human being. You stored that information into the annals of your mind for future contemplation.

Mouth agape, you began your adulation, "You...made these?! They’re incredible!" You exclaimed as you proceeding to marvel at the technical intricacies of the small apparatus.

He chuckled heartily at your response as he pursued the repossession of his belonging, "Try not to sound so shocked, I'm an...inventor, of sorts." You swatted away his hands and released a haughty laugh.

"Alright, give them back, you cannot be trusted with those!" He finally demanded, and you continued to deny his request, holding them behind you with a firm shake of your head.

"No way, they're mine now!" You refused him once more, and the two of you continued to wrestle for the trinket; all the while laughing hysterically. The young man's chortle quickly turned into snorts as he continued to reach for his possession.

"That is insanely adorable," You complimented his dorky laughter and his face became flushed.

The position in which the two of you had found yourselves was incredibly romantic, and his heart fluttered in his chest. Only mere inches separated your lips from meeting. Locked in a introvert's stale-mate, you both waited for the other to make a move. Despite his outwardly human appearance, Donatello still felt like a mutant. He couldn't believe that someone as attractive as you would ever want to kiss someone like him. He especially didn't expect you to reciprocate if he were to attempt a lip lock with you, but that fact failed to quash his yearning.

Being very methodical, it was unlike the genius to act on impulse. He would always plan out a strategy before taking action to ensure the most favorable outcome. However, at that moment, he threw caution to the wind. He knew that if he didn't act now while he had the perfect opportunity, he never would. As if you both were dancing, he held you in a dip and slowly moved in. Your widened eyes followed his lips as they lingered longingly over yours. He wanted to kiss you, but hadn't the courage. Shying away at the last second, he planted a gentle kiss on your cheek.

In an act of bravery fueled by need, you decided to take his action further. It was just a quick peck, but the spontaneity of the gesture roused something deep within Donatello. A shudder of anticipation suddenly ran throughout his body. What followed was a low, mellifluous, churr that welled up from his chest. The unexpected vocalism caused both of the young lovers to flinch. The amorous lad reflexively gasped as his mind quickly placed the sound, making you fear that you had been too forward.

"I'm sorry!" You panicked, breaking the embrace, and taking a few steps away from him. Unsure of what else to say, you waited for his response on held breath.

"Y/N, don't be sorry! It was...nice." He said dreamily, unable to forget the softness of your lips on his. In the back of his mind, he was concerned about his clearly inhuman bodily hiccup. Thankfully, you didn't appear to be too concerned about it. Not even Donatello, himself, was aware of this uncontrollable trait. The braniac knew actual turtles churred when mating, but never thought he'd exhibit it; writing it off as an impossibility, given that he was part human. He wondered why it never manifested before now. Perhaps the emotional connection that he shared with you drew it out.

But the two of you weren't even close to engaging in what was scientifically considered to be mating. It was merely a kiss, and a chaste one at that. Admittedly, he was getting hot and bothered from that alone, with the help of his imagination. When his mind fixated on the idea of the two of you being intimate, his face turned red. Another humm emitted from his body, this time much louder. It served as a rude awakening from his daydream. That one was impossible for you to miss, and you gave him a vexed look.

The infatuated young man's blissful expression quickly fell as he searched his mind for a response, "That was...my...stomach! I'm starving! A-are you hungry? Do you want to go and get some food? I'm thinking Italian," His words stumbled out feebly, eyes refusing to meet yours. Meanwhile, all you could do was guffaw at his odd reaction to something as normal as stomach rumbling.

"What's inside that stomach of yours? A zoo?" the well-timed joke lifted the awkwardness of the situation, and successfully calmed your beau's nerves. This was feigned ignorance, however, as you perceived something strange in his so-called stomach noises; but you chose not to broach the subject, as he appeared to be extremely self-conscious about it.

The sounds were far too guttural to be of the stomach, they almost sounded...bestial. You'd heard a similar sound before, but couldn't place it. Deciding that you needed to investigate further, you returned to the reality from which your mind had wandered. Donatello was guiding you along as he prattled away about this amazing Italian restaurant that he loved, which just so happened to be nearby. This was a insubstantial attempt to distract you from what had just occurred.

Stopping without warning, you brought your chatty date to a halt as well. The bespectacled boy turned to you in confusion, "Is everything alright? Why'd you stop all of the sudd-" not allowing him to finish his inquiry, you threw your arms around his neck, and pulled him into a kiss. Though surprised, he hesitantly embraced the sudden display of affection. Shaky hands meeting your waist, and resting there apprehensively.

Curiosity got the best of you, as you tried to draw out that unusual sound from him again. You'd noticed that it previously happened during your close encounter earlier, and decided to test the theory. When the result that you expected failed to occur, you released him, trying to mask the disappointment you felt in the experiment's failure.

Perhaps it really was his stomach after all, you resolved to put it to rest...for the moment. Donatello gave you a look of befuddlement, but swiftly picked up on your motivation after brief contemplation. While the likelihood of you coming to the conclusion that he was a giant mutant turtle was statistically improbable, giving you a cause for suspicion still wasn't good.

The brainy young man was partially impressed that you'd gathered so much information from such a quick, and unpredicted irregularity. This was truly unsurprising, though, he knew that you had a brilliant mind. Donatello cursed his biological makeup, his errant turtle moan was costing him dearly.

Sudden booms of thunder offered a perfectly timed distraction from the shenanigans at hand. Darkened clouds swirled in the distance, threatening a coming storm. Exchanging glances of concern you both agreed to seek cover, and the aforementioned dining establishment was the perfect place to go.

The eatery was everything that Donatello had promised and more. The two of you indulged in pasta, delightful conversation, and of course...tiramisu. Upon finishing your meal, you walked outside together to discover that it still had yet to rain. And the threat was still promising, as the sky remained a deep purple. This unforeseen weather complication put a kibosh on your outdoor date plans. Given the circumstances, the two of you agreed to cut the date short. Much to the dismay of both parties.

As per usual, your date bid you goodnight outside of your high rise apartment, being far too shy to invite himself in. Glancing at him flirtily, you offered hospitality, "Would you like to come up to my place?"

He shrank at your inquiry, knowing full well that he only had an hour or so left until he changed back into he old turtle self. That wasn't much time in the grand scheme of things, and he simply didn't want to risk it. The once distant rumbling suddenly grew louder, and raindrops began to fall, swiftly escalating into a downpour. Hand-in-hand, you ran for shelter at the door of your building. The space was barely enough to cover you both.

"Wow, these rom-com clichés follow you like a shadow, huh?" You tittered as the two of you huddled together underneath the small overhang, nearly soaked to the bone; bodies firmly pressed against one another in order to fit. The intimate proximity enticed romantic ventures, chests rising and falling with synced breaths. Desire swirled in his golden eyes, and at that moment, he didn't overthink. Instead, he took your lips in his with adrenaline-fueled confidence. Impassioned and deep, it felt as though the storm had stricken you both with it's threat.

An electricity passed between your bodies, coursing through, and enlivening you with each traded kiss. Having no prior experience in kissing wasn't too much of a problem for the mutant in disguise, it was simply the proper application of jaw mechanics and tongue movement. In technique he was prepared, but what he wasn't prepared for was the passionate intensity of the experience. He felt as though his heart would break free from his rib cage at the rate it was beating. When you came up for air, all that you could do was utter a single word with shaky breath...

"Wow." and when you stumbled back a bit, he caught you, an unfaltering smile lighting up his features. You then cupped his face with both hands and locked eyes with him as you prepared to deliver the most unparalleled of witticisms.

"I'm cashing in my raincheck." You voiced with a prideful grin, and your beau stifled a laugh. The cleverness of your one-liner was undeniable. He couldn't resist such a convincing argument, especially not after that kiss.

"Okay, but I can only stay for one hour!" Donatello stated his time limit decisively, and you nodded in agreement.

Together, you headed up to the apartment and made your way inside. Various framed posters lined the corridor of the entrance, all from iconic horror and fantasy films. The first was The Wolfman, followed by Creature from the Black Lagoon, Pan's Labyrinth, and finally, Frankenstein. You watched as your guest scanned the hangings with delight, and continued leading him to the main room. It was spacious and well decorated with paintings, and knick-knacks, but not overly cluttered. Several art supplies laid on the tables, and there was even a sewing machine on it's own desk.

"Wow, you're quite the jack of all trades, huh?" He chuckled as he gestured to the Singer Quantum Stylist 9985 in the corner.

"Yes, I dabble in many hobbies." You answered with a cheeky smile.

The young man's eyes continued to travel the room in awe before finally settling on one painting specifically. A relatively large oil painting that was hard to miss, but not because of it's size. The subject matter was of particular interest to the turtle in human’s clothing. On it was a woman with a sea monster, the two of them exchanging a deep loving gaze as they floated within the murky depths of the ocean. Recognizing it immediately as the final scene from The Shape of Water, Donatello smiled wide.

Drawing close for a better look, he couldn't hide his appreciation for the work. He knew the patience that it took to paint with oils, but moreso, admired the piece because it gave him...hope. Becoming entranced, he absendmindedly muttered under his breath, "For loue is blynd alday and may nat see."

You barely picked up what he'd said was it...Latin? No, Middle English. Watching as he marveled at the work you let out a muffled chuckle. His facial features spoke volumes: amazement, respect, and something more. There was an evident understanding in his expression, gaze fixed on the monster, as if they shared some sort of kinship.

Realizing that he was acting peculiar, he turned to you with a dorky smile and bestowed a compliment, "Y/N...This is...gorgeous."

Jolting at the admiration, your breath hitched, "T-thank you...I painted it." You stuttered as you grabbed two towels from a nearby closet. Feeling warmth flow to your cheeks, you ran into the other room to gather dry clothing. After taking a few seconds to calm yourself, you returned, throwing a hooded sweatshirt and basketball shorts to Donatello.

Catching the garments launched in his direction, he continued to shower you with adoration, "You really painted this?! That's incredible...It's amazing!"

All you could do was nod sheepishly. "Thank you! It's not really that great, there are so many anatomical errors and..." Your train of thought trailed off as you noticed his clothes dripping still from the rain.

With a chuckle you shifted the conversation, "Alright, you've appreciated my artwork enough! We should get changed before we catch colds." Just as you finished your sentence, your date absentmindedly removed his shirt. Stunned at the sight, you couldn't help but stare. You'd never noticed his lean muscular build previously, since he always wore long sleeves.

Once he became aware of his social blunder, he swiftly recovered with a joke, "Do you mind?" He then placed a hand on his hip, raised one eyebrow, and shifted to a stance that radiated sass.

Still awe-struck, you responded in an unbothered tone before getting the hint, "No--Oh-oh-oh! Excuse me." before retreating into your room once more. Peering through the crack in your door, you looked him up and down while biting your lower lip. Once he shot a playful glare in your direction, you swiftly closed it, but not without getting one, "Bye!" in before doing so. Both of you exploded with laughter at your near-perfectly executed Road to El Dorado scene.

Following your wardrobe change, you wandered out of your room. Hands over your eyes, you loudly announced your entrance. When you peeked through your fingers to see him decent, a huff of disappointment escaped your lips and he chuckled. The nerdy lad then gave you an amused look as he gestured to the graphic on the kelly green sweatshirt that you'd chosen for him, "Ha ha, very funny."

Twisting your face into a mischievous grin, you suppressed the urge to giggle and shrugged, "It was the only long sleeve thing I had that would fit you." unable to withhold it any longer, you finally burst into laughter upon reading the ‘Talk Nitrogen, Erbium, and Dysprosium to me’ periodic table of elements joke that adorned the garment. The merriment was cut short when the sound of barking echoed from the other room.

"Oh no, my poor baby! I'm sorry, do you mind if I let my dog, Noodles, out to meet you?" You asked, and your handsome suitor responded with an affirmative nod of his head.

The dog bounded out into the living area once he was released from confinement, eager to meet the new guest. Prior to getting close, the chocolate brown labrador retriever froze in place and sniffed the air. The animal then proceeded to hesitantly approach, almost as if he was unsure what to make of Donatello. Tilting his head in confusion, he refused to draw in too near. Matching your canine companion's response, you were equally perplexed as you watched the interaction. The pooch didn't growl, nor did he cower, he merely stood at attention before your lanky beau. Finally coming to the decision to lay down on the floor, the pup wagged his tail lightly while keeping his eyes focused on the visitor.

"That was a little weird, but I suppose that it's a good sign...he typically gets aggressive with the men that I bring over. He's my barometer for character." You smiled as you made your way over to the couch, gesturing for Donatello to come and sit with you. Plagued by nerves, he sat a fair amount of space away from you.

"So, how'd you know that I had a dog when we first met?" a question meant to distract from the awkwardness of the situation, but only worsened it. The nervous young man flinched at your question, he hoped that you had forgotten, but he should have known better.

"You just...looked like a dog person," He knew that was a terrible explanation, and judging from the look on your face, you didn't buy it.

"I suppose that I can accept that as an answer." You motioned with just your index and middle fingers from your eyes to him, in a silent indication that said I'm watching you. The reasoning for how he had guessed your dog ownership was not at the forefront of your mind, however. The nerdy young man chuckled at your attempt at intimidation, snort making an appearance. His laugh made you weak and you fought yet another blush that tried to form on your cheeks.

Meeting his gaze coyly, you closed the gap between the two of you. Donatello knew what was coming, the burning look in your eyes was telling. Regardless, his heart nearly burst through his chest when you drew in intimately close; bringing your face just inches away from his. The shy young man's nerves got the best of him, and he froze like a deer in headlights. The moment the two of you shared outside of the building was a fit of spontaneous passion. Now, with a clear head, the anxious lad's overactive brain stole his bravery from him. All of his insecurities flashed before his eyes, and proved to be an imposing force.

The blush that crossed his cheeks was accompanied by a broad smile, indicating his interest. He was simply immobilized by uncertainty. Expecting this hesitation, you happily took the lead, pressing your lips softly to his. Your lips tasted so sweet, just as they had before, and Donatello could barely handle it. Without realizing it, he allowed a soft, blissful moan escape him. You responded with a giggle causing him to stammer out a flustered apology. For him, this experience was entirely new, but he couldn't tell you that.

"It's okay, it was cute." You assured him, and he simply replied with an awkward chuckle.

Slowly, you moved in closer and Donatello followed your direction, sliding down into a reclining position. It wasn't long before you found yourselves laying together on the couch that you'd previously been sitting on. With you on top of him, his heart was now racing, face still beet red as he scrambled to keep up. His body began emitting the low humming sound that you'd since become accustomed to hearing.

"Jeeze, you work up an appetite pretty easily, huh?" You teased.

"Yeah, but I'm not hungry for food...I'm hungry for you--S-sorry, that was awful." He snorted, critiquing his own terrible pick-up line as he made it.

Tilting your head you grinned, "I liked it," upon hearing your positive feedback, he then found the courage to wrap his arms around you. This gesture caused you to move from his lips to his neck. Donatello wasn't sure how much more of this he could take, his sensory levels were about to hit critical mass.

Oh, no...

The fun came to an abrupt end when he felt that indicative tingling overcome him, which only meant one thing. Panic replaced pleasure when amorous young man realized the effects of the ooze were beginning to wear off. It would not be long before he began reverting back to his actual form. He searched his mind for a plausible excuse, but in his flustered state, couldn't come up with even one.

By this time you had moved back up to his lips and continued kissing Donatello, who couldn't help but reciprocate. Sure, he was concerned for his current state of affairs, but he wanted this so badly. Knots twisted inside his stomach, and he could feel the plates of his plastron reforming underneath his clothing. In the most inconvenient timing, you happened to find your hand on his abdomen, and he whimpered.

"Huh. That's odd." you were rightfully baffled by this unexpected sensation. Just as you positioned your hand to lift the hoodie, the fretful lad quickly intercepted it.

"S-sorry, I gotta go!" He blurted out, unable to hide his discomfort. Proceeding to slide out from under you, he leapt from the couch nimbly, and made his way towards the door.

"Wait! Donnie...what's wrong?" You reached out and took a gentle hold of his wrist, feeling a roughness that wasn't there previously. The panicked young man looked down in horror at his now lightly scaled forearm, watching as the rough skin slowly became more prominent and attained a greenish hue. Yanking his arm away, he pulled down the sweatshirt sleeve to conceal it.

Words fell out of his mouth clumsily, "uh...uuuh...it's a skin condition..." a flimsy elucidation only made worse by the addition of an awkward smile.

When both of his hands began to tremble, and he instinctively hid them behind his back. He then started to walk hastily in reverse to the exit. Meanwhile, his index and middle fingers began slowly fusing back together with his ring and pinky fingers following suit. Once he made it to the door he fumbled nervously with the handle attempting to open it, a task that proved difficult given his current complications.

The door finally opened, and without looking, he backed his way through. Before closing the door he gave you one last apologetic look from across the room, hoping that you'd forgive him for his unusual behavior. Much to his dismay, he found himself in your bathroom. He'd made a critical mistake. Donatello swore up and down this was the exit. Now he was effectively trapped by both embarrassment for what had just transpired, and fear that you'd find out what he really is before he was ready to tell you.

A soft knock came from the other side of the bathroom door making the fretful anthropomorphic young man yelp. "Donnie...are you okay?" You called to him, with genuine concern in your voice.

"Ye-yeah...everything is just fine." He lied, clenching his teeth as he did so. The vanity mirror gave him a perfect view of his current appearance, skin slowly becoming saturated with green and nose flattening into a cream-colored snout. He turned his head away, not wanting to watch his reversion. Scanning the expanse of the the bathroom, he was relieved to find a window. He clambered through the aperture before even giving it a second thought. And then he was gone, down the fire escape of your high rise apartment building. Like a coward he ran, with his transformation nearing completion, and an overwhelming sense of guilt washing over him as he fled into the shadows.

...to be continued.

#not quite human #donatello x reader #donnie x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt fan fic #bayverse tmnt #donatello #fan fiction #my writing #don's quill pen #woo boy guys #I hope you like it #I hope the surprise wasn't terrible #*screams internally*#tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016

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fuckyeahtx · 5 years ago

Photo

Late in the afternoon on the last Monday in June, 430 Democrats, who had paid up to $100,000 each, clicked into a private, Texas-themed Zoom call organized by Joe Biden’s campaign. They were greeted by former Planned Parenthood chief Cecile Richards, whose mother, Ann, was the state’s last Democratic governor. They heard from Julián Castro and Beto O’Rourke, and they were treated to a performance by Willie Nelson, who sang a song with his son Lukas called “Vote ’Em Out.” It began, “If you don’t like who’s in there, vote ’em out. / That’s what Election Day is all about. / The biggest gun we’ve got is called the ballot box.” And they heard from Biden, who — just four days after a Fox News poll showed him narrowly ahead of Donald Trump in the state no Democratic nominee has carried since Jimmy Carter — told them, “I think we can turn Texas blue.”

From Amarillo to Brownsville to Beaumont to El Paso, you could practically hear the sighs: Here we go again. Texas Democrats hear a version of this overture in every election cycle as outsiders swoop in citing statistics about demographic shifts. The national party has long regarded the Lone Star State’s 38 electoral votes as the just-out-of-reach golden key to perpetual success.

Still, the ex-VP is now basking in a double-digit lead nationwide, and we’re improbably entering month 17 of close polling between Biden and the president in Texas, which Trump won by nine points in 2016. The state’s Republican senators are warning that Texas will be “hotly contested” (Ted Cruz) and “at risk of turning purple” (John Cornyn). And after months of bluster from its GOP leaders — in March, Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick said seniors like him would be willing to die to restart the economy — Texas is under assault from COVID-19, and frustrations are turning into fury. Governor Greg Abbott has backtracked on plans for reopening as more than 5,000 new coronavirus cases flood in each day, while Houston hospitals are at capacity and millions remain out of work.

Four months into lockdown — about halfway between being left for dead politically early in the primary and Election Day in November — the nominee and his campaign are still adjusting to political fortunes they can hardly believe all around the country, let alone in Texas. As the summer stretches on, party leaders are starting to work out whether Biden’s lead and Trump’s spiral mean Democrats can afford to experiment in conservative states or if it’s worth shining a brighter light on down-ballot races that could hand a President Biden the Senate.

Of course, no national Democratic group has spent a dime on TV advertising in Texas, and they’re unlikely to. Biden doesn’t need Texas to win the White House. Far from it: Carter is the only Democrat to win there since native son Lyndon B. Johnson. Pro-Biden groups, like the Unite the Country super-PAC, that aim to get him to 270 electoral votes have been spending money in top-tier battleground states like Florida and North Carolina, not Texas, where Trump still has a slim lead in some polls. “If we win Texas, it will be the 350th or 370th electoral vote,” says Lily Adams, a senior Unite the Country official (who happens to be Ann Richards’s granddaughter and Cecile Richards’s daughter). “Not the 270th.”

And Democrats are still haunted by their 2016 confidence, especially in Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin. Hillary Clinton’s wasn’t even the party’s only semi-recent collapse; one July 1988 poll showed Michael Dukakis beating George H.W. Bush by 17 points. Trump’s team, meanwhile, insists it hasn’t started fully unloading on its opponent yet. But this year’s race is showing signs of becoming something entirely different: Despite being stuck at home in Delaware because of the virus while Trump soaked up the national attention, Biden held a roughly ten-point lead in national polling averages by the end of June — about four points wider than the margin at this stage of any race in recent history. It would be overly kind to describe Trump as “flailing” as his poll numbers continue to hit new lows amid the pandemic and the protests against police brutality. His answer is to desperately look for a more cutting nickname for Biden, as he’s worried that “Sleepy Joe” isn’t good enough. (The 74-year-old Trump’s allies think their best bet is to portray 77-year-old Biden as frail and deteriorating. When asked by a Fox News producer about “cognitive decline” late last month, Biden replied, “I’m constantly tested … I can hardly wait to compare my cognitive capability to the cognitive capability of the man I’m running against.”)

Biden’s leads in the crucial swing states are more solid than expected — Trump’s campaign team is already worried he may have too big a mountain to climb in Michigan, the site of perhaps his most shocking 2016 victory — but the leads are still smaller than Biden’s apparent national margin. Biden has only recently begun venturing out for campaign events and rarely travels farther than next-door Pennsylvania. Wary of distancing recommendations, he isn’t planning to hold rallies in the fall, and only now, with four months left, is he building up senior teams in Wisconsin, North Carolina, and the like, while his allies pound digital and TV airwaves in those battlegrounds with a barrage of anti-Trump ads.

A Biden sweep still isn’t certain, which is why he probably won’t go all-in on a state like Texas. “My grandmother used to say, ‘You don’t know the size of Texas until you’ve campaigned in it,’ ” warns Adams. O’Rourke’s race against Cruz was the priciest Senate contest ever — and he still lost. But, Adams continues, “what you may be witnessing is a confluence or perfect storm of events that is making Texas more competitive this cycle than any other in recent history.”

Three Democrats independently used the “perfect storm” metaphor in conversations with me to refer to the pandemic, Trump’s plummeting popularity, and demographic shifts that have increased the state’s number of Latino voters and city dwellers. (A fourth called it a “perfect shitstorm.”) While that combination doesn’t yet have party leaders considering Texas a central swing state, it has forced them to shift it solidly into their expanded conversation about electoral battlegrounds, just behind Georgia.

Those closest to Biden have better things to worry about than these debates — like picking his running mate and designing his coronavirus-recovery proposals. When they do get sucked in, though, the pro-Texas-investment arguments usually start by noting that this ain’t the Bushes’ Texas anymore. O’Rourke, whose presidential campaign manager, Jen O’Malley Dillon, now runs Biden’s effort, came within three points of Cruz in 2018. That was just four years after Abbott beat Democrat Wendy Davis by 20 points, and the state’s briskly growing cities and suburbs are sprinting away from Trump’s GOP. Long-term trends have seduced Democrats: The Census Bureau in June reported that Texas’s Hispanic population grew by more than 2 million in the past decade. And the state’s present crisis has only sped things up. It’s the latest stage in a four-month saga during which Trump’s polling has dropped precipitously, but it mirrors similarly dire pictures for Trump in Florida and Arizona. “It’s 24/7, all over the place on TV, on their cell phones, as counties send out emergency texts to every single person in the county,” Castro, the former presidential candidate, tells me. “People are putting two and two together that this is the direct result of a failure by Donald Trump and Greg Abbott.” Whereas Biden has lagged previous Democrats a bit in popularity among Latino voters, Latino communities have been hit especially brutally, causing many to turn hard against Republicans.

The party’s wallet will stay shut for now anywhere but Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan, North Carolina, Arizona, and Florida. Still, before Willie Nelson and his guitar took center stage that Monday afternoon on Zoom, O’Rourke warned that if the vote tally is tight on Election Day, “I believe that the current occupant of the White House — who does not believe in the rule of law, who does not respect the Constitution, who will do anything he can to maintain and increase his purchase on power, will exploit a close outcome to attempt to steal the election.” But, he continued, “the greatest safeguard against that outcome is Texas.”

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writinginstardust · 6 years ago

Text

Not So Meet-Cute

Pairing: Alex Claremont-Diaz x reader

Prompt: I'm having a snowball fight with my friend in the park and i hit you instead

Warnings: swearing I think

A/N: Thanks to @writingbychelle for requesting this prompt! Can you even imagine the horror of accidentally attacking a president’s son?

Word Count: 1521

I woke up with a crick in my neck and chilly toes, to bright light streaming in through the window. Much brighter than the winter mornings I was used to back home. I rolled off the couch and padded over to the window wrapping a blanket over my shoulders and mentally thanking whoever designed Georgetown student housing for carpeting the floors.

Blinding whiteness greeted me when I reached the window and I audibly gasped. Snow. Everywhere. Blanketing the world and silencing it in a way it never quite managed to do in England. It was magical. Even if it was still just a college campus.

“(Y/N), good, you’re up.” I turned around to find my friend, Emily, emerging from her room, still in pyjamas but disgustingly perky for the morning.

“It’s snowing,” I informed her, probably rather uselessly.

“Yeah, it does that here sometimes,” she said dismissively. Honestly, only a year and a half living here and she was already completely accustomed to and unbothered by snow, something I so rarely got to enjoy.

“Well we have to go out and play in it. I demand it.”

“Fine. But we have to go have a snowball fight on the Mall, everyone does it. It’s a lot of fun.”

“Ooo, is this some kind of Georgetown tradition I get to take part in?” I’d heard about quite a number of them that had intrigued me in the past.

“Yep. You can say you’re one of us after this.” She grinned. “Now go shower, I’m gonna make pancakes.”

The Mall was filled with people already when we arrived, almost all of them students, every one of them having the time of their lives. We found a few of Emily’s friends and joined in their snowball war, my side obviously winning as Emily’s surrendered. The rest of them headed off to get coffee, having apparently been there hours before, but we weren’t done just yet. It was time for a one on one showdown to see who was the superior fighter.

“Hey! Em!” She turned at the sound of my voice and I launched a snowball at her. She was too quick though and dove for the ground before it could hit her. Instead it sailed over her and smacked right into the face of a guy passing by. Shit.

The guy stopped in his tracks and turned towards me, brushing snow out of his hair. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t look particularly pleased at this turn of events.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” I rushed forward, trying to apologize. Emily was climbing back to her feet looking tense and vaguely horrified. I knew how she felt. “I was aiming at my friend but she ducked and I didn’t even realise you were there and oh my god are you alright? I really am so so sorry for hitting you.”

His scowl softened into a slight smile and wow, now I was close, I couldn’t help noticing just how cute this guy was. I just had to hit him, of all people, in the face with a snowball.

“It’s alright. It was an accident.” Well at least he wasn’t mad at me, that was nice. And god, his voice was beautiful. Can a voice be beautiful? I wasn’t sure it could before but his definitely was. I felt like I recognised it too. And his face. The longer I looked at him, the more I felt as if I’d seen him somewhere before.

“I feel like I recognise you… Do you go to Georgetown or something?” I could see him trying not to laugh and it was as adorable as it was confusing.

“Yeah, I’m studying government and politics there.” I made a face automatically at that. I hated politics.

“Oh, you might know my friend Emily then,” I gestured towards her and she came to stand beside me. “She’s studying something political there.”

“(Y/N),” she hissed in my ear. “That’s Alex Claremont-Diaz.” The guy - Alex - seemed to be struggling even harder in his effort not to laugh now.

Claremont-Diaz...political major...oh shit. It took a couple of seconds but I finally put it together. That’s why he looked familiar. He was the First Son of the United States. And I’d attacked him with a snowball. I felt horror creeping up and knew it was showing on my face as Alex finally lost it and cracked up laughing.

“So,” I started slowly. “You’re telling me, I just hit the president’s son with a snowball?”

Alex was still laughing when he managed a “yes” in response. “And quite hard by the way.”

“Again, I am so sorry.” I apologised once more but he waved it off, finally managing to stop laughing. “So when should I expect to be taken out by the secret service? I want to make sure this asshole at work knows how much I hate him before I go.” Alex laughed again before replying. He really did have a wonderful laugh.

“Don’t worry, the secret service won’t take you out. I will though.” Again, it took me a couple of seconds to get his meaning, my brain was short circuiting a bit, but I felt my cheeks heating as I understood. And, well, I wasn’t going to say no. He might be the president’s son, and that was kinda daunting, but he was also cute as hell and a really nice guy.

“Yeah, okay,” I said, trying and failing to keep my smile under control. “That would be nice.”

He grinned and passed me his phone to put my number in. I couldn’t quite believe this was something that was actually happening to me right now. Entering my name, I finished creating the contact and handed the phone back to him.

“Well, unfortunately I have places to be right now,” he smiled regretfully. “But I’ll text you. …(Y/N),” he added after glancing at his phone quickly and making me realise I hadn’t actually told him before. Maybe that had been a good thing because it had never sounded as sweet as it did when he said it.

“Okay,” I said rather uselessly. “I’ll, uh, see you later.”

“See you later.” With a final smile, he turned and continued on his way. Emily was practically vibrating beside me and exploded when he was barely out of earshot.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my fucking god!” She whisper-yelled. “You did not just get Alex Claremont-Diaz’s phone number!”

“Well, I mean technically he has my phone number.” I couldn’t stop smiling and it didn’t really matter who had who’s phone number.

“Semantics,” Emily shrugged. “This is insane. And all you had to do was hit him in the face with a snowball.” I cringed a bit at the reminder of that but she just laughed. “At least you two will have a good meet-cute story to tell your children.”

“Em!” I screeched. I’d only just met the guy and she was apparently planning our wedding and future family.

“I’m just saying…” My phone buzzed at that moment and I was thankful to whoever had unknowingly helped me out of this conversation. It was a text from an unknown number and I knew who even if he hadn’t bothered to sign his name. Alex.

unknown number: try not to hit any other guys with snowballs. I don't want to be competing with half of dc xx

I grinned down at my phone, ignoring Emily’s smug smile in my peripheral as I quickly saved his number and typed a reply.

me: promise xx

I looked up and in the direction he’d left. He hadn’t got all that far yet and I saw him smile as he looked back over his shoulder and met my gaze. Hopefully he was far enough not to notice the flush creeping across my cheeks again.

alex: dinner tonight?

me: sounds good

I checked with Emily before sending that and she told me that if I didn’t say yes she would disown me as a friend. Clearly I didn’t have a choice. Not that I wanted one anyway.

alex: I'll come by at 6:30.

me: okay, I'll see you later x

alex: can’t wait xx

I put my phone away then, barely registering what I was actually doing. Wow. Okay. This was a thing that was really happening.

“Hey, Earth to (Y/N).” Emily’s voice brought me back to reality.

“Huh?”

“Let’s go. You need to find something to wear tonight. None of the clothes you brought are date appropriate.”

“That’s because I wasn’t planning to go on any dates.”

“I know, I know. But now you are, so we need to go shopping.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me along behind her, very much on a mission now. Another day I might have complained but I was too happy right now. After all, it wasn’t everyday I hit the First Son in the face with a snowball and managed to get a date out of it. Statistically, it was unbelievably improbable and yet here I was. It only made it all the sweeter.

Tag Lists: (send an ask if you want to be added!)

Everything: @wonderfilledness @writingbychelle @ad-astraaaa @moderngenius94

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #alex claremont diaz x reader #alex claremont-diaz x you #alex claremont diaz imagine #rwrb fanfic #rwrb imagine #red white and royal blue fanfic #red white and royal blue imagine #reader insert

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