#even though its june lmfao

[spinnysocks]

Welcome to my Den! 🐾

*remakes pinned for the millionth time :3*

By: @/feathers-fins-and-fangs, @/batsbolts-andboards, @/phantompawz, @/timberbark, @/mollytoons, @/sweetpeauserboxes, @/lookineedsleep

Last updated: 25/09 🌙

Pronouns Page | Boundaries | DNI in bio

Rb'ing for Palestine: @iftheresanythingleft | Moodboard making: @poetryforcoyotes | TLG ask blog: @tlg-confessions

Some stuff about the blogger!

Hi, my name's Spinny! This is my Main Blog! :)

My favoured pronouns shift; in (bold) are my favoured atm! - he/him 🌿 it/its 🌿 they/them 🌿 xe/xem 🌿 ze/zim 🌿 sol/sols 🌿 star/stars 🌿 void/voids 🌿 coy/coyote 🌿 fox/foxs 🌿 yip/yips 🌿 croc/crocs

I prefer interchangeable use of those above, but generally answer to he/it and any of my neopronouns <3

Very queer!! I'm nonbinary, genderqueer, xenofluid, aroace and a fuck ton of other labels that I hoard at @foxsocksvoid :)

I'm an alterhuman, specifically a polymorph! Planning to make a post going into my identity more, but my strongest types are fox, crocodile, coyote and hyena

I am neurodivergent (suspected AuDHD), suspected APD and a maladaptive daydreamer with some other coping mechanism disorders. As a result, I find interacting etc hard so please bare with me. More info in my boundaries ^^

I am a gemini, my birthday is June 6th and I am pagan! Just a creature guy who loves movies and is going into wildlife conservation & management :D

Self-proclaimed Warrior Cats veteran and the #1 Whitestorm fan, but relatively new in the Lion Guard fanbase! Great to be here c:

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Blog Information!

I am an adult but my blog is SFW with strictly NO NSFW. Though I do swear.

Except for this post, I type almost entirely in lowercase!

Please tag me if responding to a comment/any mention, otherwise I don't see it! :c

I repost stimboards which may have auto-playing gifs and art that may contain minor blood or animal death (warrior cats or other art)! I tag these under #tw blood, #tw gore, #tw death, #tw cat death and #tw implied death. I do not tag auto-playing gifs.

IF something ever happens to Tumblr, I'm “spinnysocks” or “ricoofdoom” on everything. I'd probably migrate to discord as well as pillowfort or cohost but Tumblr is my everything so hopefully not!!

This post will likely be updated on a near-daily basis due to pronouns shifting and general forgetfulness.

Other info can be found on my boundaries post / just ask! ^^

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Asks!

Send me asks!!! (/nf) They are always open and I love getting any asks or mentions about anything at all! Send me or tag me as much as you'd like <3

I have character opinion bingo asks that are always open too! Check out the tag for who I've been asked about already ^^

I am also always open for the character ask game! That has a tag too :)

I'm also completely happy to participate in tag games of any kind! They're so fun!!

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Interests!

Current fixations: Warrior Cats, Clangen, The Lion Guard!

Other fandoms: Madagascar, Watership Down, Night At The Museum, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Space Jam/The Looney Tunes, Ice Age, Kung Fu Panda, Sonic, Shakespeare and Dead Poets Society. Mada and Ice Age are my oldest and I'm very fond of them c:

Games I like: RDR2, WolfQuest, Endling, Stray, Shelter Generations, The Isle, Jurassic World Evolution, Planet Zoo, Minecraft, Roblox and Rain World. I own RDR2, WQ, Endling, JWE, PZ, Minecraft and Roblox while the others are interests (aka my pc is shit and/or I can't afford them lmfao)

General: indie/rock music, kids/fantasy movies, cinema, writing, drawing, more to add :3

Basically, I love creatures, fantasy and animated movies! Please talk to me about any of the above interests if you'd like to, or even ask me if I've seen a specific media! I don't bite!! <3

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My “Random Shit” links!

Watership Down uquiz (my first post :D)

What Species Would You Choose To Be Reincarnated As (poll)

Warrior Cats mass animations playlist

Favourite Character Bingo 2023

The Lion Guard stuff!

Royal Mjuzi! Nduli AU

Young crocs headcannons

Christmastime headcannons

RDR2/Wild West AU

Jumanji AU

Scar's Guard AU fanfic & the Scar's Guard AU post

Warrior Cats AU

TLG Pride Month 2024 (see tag for all posts)

Outlanders Hunger Games sim (see tag for all posts)

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That's all! Thank you very much for reading <3 🐾

[ghostoffuturespast]

No Friday field notes last week? 🥺👉👈 tell me one cool nature thing you saw last week. Saturday I got to see up close near my porch a robin with a beakful of worms. It's funny how they just kinda hang out and wobble with how they hold them. I also saw a wasp crawling along my sliding glass door so I got to get an up close look at its little face.

Oh! And Friday after my tattoo I heard a common nighthawk!!!!

Hey! Lol, I didn't realize the field notes would be missed so much! 🌿🌱🐣 🧡 Makes my little nature heart happy to hear though.

I try to do the field notes weekly, but there are times when I just might not have the gas to get to them. Summer is the busiest time for me work wise and this past month has been insane. Tail-end of field trip season, so I probably saw several hundred K-12 students in the span of 2 weeks, got sick, and then I've been coordinating installation and maintenance for a native plant garden.

June is gonna be even crazier because I've got back to back weeks of summer day camp (which I still need to put the agendas together for by like tomorrow lmfao), prepping for a booth at a comic-con, planning a community art event, field restoration workdays, more garden stuff, and I'm taking a plant identification course too, but the classes are on one of my days off, so I will technically only have one day off a week for the entire month... I will do my best to keep posting these regularly (because I do love doing them), but if I skip a week, just know it's probably because I passed out and am taking a nap.

Aw, mama Robin with worms! They are very cute when they are out hunting for food and I've seen quite a few out my office window this past spring. Bug faces are so fascinating to see up close, getting them to stay still long enough to get a good look is the hardest part though. Saw a neat metallic green Thread-waisted Wasp the other day (no idea on the species) , striking and beautiful! And a Common Nighthawk! I've yet to see or hear one, so that is very cool that you did.

What else have I seen... Lots of baby Bunnies and Prairie Dogs (all adorable), and the Bald Eagle chicks in the (4?) nests we've been monitoring are all fledging too which is very exciting! They're all getting ready to leave the nests. And the Pronghorn mamas are all about ready to pop, so hopefully we'll be spotting some babies soon.

Late spring flowers are starting to bloom here on the prairie! Rocky Mountain Columbine (Aquilegia caerulea) on the left and Western Wild Rose (Rosa woodsii) on the right. I'm very proud of those Columbines because they were incredibly sad when I planted them last year and they didn't flower. But they bloomed this year!

On my home brew native plant garden project, I'm happy to report I did manage to get 12 out of the 14 species I planted to germinate, with roughly 50% success rate, which is pretty good. (The seeds for the Little Bluestem and the Winterfat I think were blanks unfortunately, so I'll try again next season.) And my vegetable garden is getting there too. Snap peas and zucchini!

But, yeah, getting ready to blow half a paycheck on plant starts for my front yard lol...

[huiracha]

every month of 2023 😸

i was tagged by @seungs & @euijin 🫶 tagging @seo-changbinnies, @wahgifs & @hyunsung i think everyone has been tagged at this point so im sorry if im tagging u again 🥹

january

popular - lee know just looking pretty? i get it though. men and their big brown eyes am i right

favorite - this seungmin set. i just love the outfit and also. he looks pretty

february

popular - lee know and his pudding. its the face he makes in the second gif that really get me

favorite - same as the popular one cause i only made 2 sets in feb lmfao 😭

march

popular - lee know selca taking skills. omg why did he stop doing that. it was fun

favorite - probably this jisung set? didnt gif a lot that month either 🤥

april

popular - barefaced lix 😻 deserved he looks so cute and i really like how these turned out too 😽

favorite - lee know gods menu fancam!!! probably one of my favorite set of the year. i really like how sharp/hd they look. i think it the month i stopped using offset so the colours look way better overall imo 👍

may

popular - jisung in the 5-star intro. it was such a pain to colour but! i do agree with everyone. its a good look

favorite - its a tie between this dlc set and this hyunjin + lee know set i really love how the blues look

june

popular - felix ending fairy!!! love these so much. the blues and the reds 🫶

favorite - ok i cant only choose one cause i giffed a lot in june so: 1. this one seungmins little n-nah... yeah! :D just kills me every time 2. fnf i just love the vibe of this set. it just feels warm 3. this hyunjin facecam. again i just love reds in gifs 👍

july

popular - hyunjin youtube live stop i wish they would still go live on youtube. he looks so cute

favorite - minlix 🫶 im minlix biggest fan. i love them so much

august

popular - this hyunjin ig live. the amount of notes for these 4 lq gifs is kind crazy but then again. he looks like that so its like yeah i get it

favorite - hyunjin kcon!! i like all my kcon sets but this one particularly is pretty good. he really had good shots

september

popular - hyunjin skz code. u guys are so right. the bun, the strands of hair, the earrings. hes everything

favorite - hyunjin ig live. i just love everything about this specific look. hes so pretty im gonna be SICK

october

popular - cozy jisung 🥹 yeah... again, i get it

favorite - i really like this megaverse set!! felix especially looks amazing

november

popular - this jeongin set?? how did it get so many notes its crazy. but he looks so good so. deserved ❤️

favorite - i looove how this skzflix set turned out 🫶 also! this ot8 lalalala set. the pinks are so good 😁

december

popular - MINCHAN!!!!! deserved i love them. they mean everything TO ME

favorite - (for now) felix is just so fucking funny without even trying 😭

anyway. thank you to everyone who ever interacted with my stuff, it means a lot and i really appreciate every single one of you. heres to 2024! (with skz europe tour hopefully) 🫡

[girlbowser]

Thoughts on Neon (Breath+Light)?

Neon (BreathLight)

(icon by victis-stelar)

So! Neon is a fun dual aspect, because it's one of the ones that inspired the entire classpecting system! By that, I mean it has canon representation, in the form of poor, dear, Tavrisprite.

Tavrisprite, according to the ERIJANCENTRAL.COM dual classpect calculator, is a Spy of Neon, or ThiefPage of LightBreath. (Other notable details - Spy is an inverse of itself, and its paired class (active/passive swap within the verb group, so Thief to Rogue and Page to Knight) is Hunter, which is Davepeta's dualized class.)

In a sense, Tavrisprite is the ultimate showcase of what can go wrong with dual classpecting. The two personalities are incompatible as a living being, exploding just seconds after being created. This is obvious in the classpect name itself - Spy of Neon. A spy is thought of as sneaky and subtle -- neon is anything BUT. Their fusion was doomed from moment zero.

On the other hand, Neon itself isn't a fundamentally broken classpect. Obviously, the Tavrisprite fusion had permanent personality-altering effects on both (Vriska) and Ghost!Tavros - Vriska discovering how to cool her fires, and Tavros discovering how to be a leader, even though the fusion was merely seconds long. (For more discussion on that specific note, check out my fanfic, polyfrag.)

Neon also could represent a coming together of John and Rose. A "Herald of Neon" - a herald being a messenger containing news - could fit their relationship, vibeswise. I won't really get into it here, since that'd just end up being a Why I Like Grimdorks apologia, lol. But I do quite like it.

Finally, the popular fan fusion/pairing of John/June and Vriska results in a "Vagabond of Neon." Again, I can't really go into this specific one beyond just, "those vibes feel kinda right for that pairing," but yeah. (Hi godfeels fans lmfao - my new fic about June, featuring her wandering in Alpha Timeline Earth sort of aimlessly yet directedly, does evoke this classpect intentionally.)

I just realized I got to the end of this post without talking about Neon.

@nihilistic-janitor and I named the aspect Neon because it's bright and obvious, yet literally a gas. It's one of the more literal names, since it is just Light But Windy, but I feel like it fits.

Where Light oftentimes blinding and scattershot, and Breath leading in all directions, Neon is a pinpointed alternative. A neon sign tells you where to go and why you need to be there. It combines knowledge and travel in a nicely neat way.

(Special thanks to @victis-stelar for the dual aspect icons!)

---

Please send in more asks! I can do ones about specific Classpects, Classes, Aspects, or meta stuff, like the dual system or how classpecting works with player-fused Sprites.

CLASSPECT POKERAP: 1/5184 COMPLETED /j

[iantimony]

tuez

yayyy

listening: release radar: i get it now (sammy rae) (wauuughhhh. emo. i miss my partner) come over (cat's pajamas) stuck (scene queen) nerima (raspberry pie) never me (penelope) beirut (rob blivion) rule #34 (fish in a birdcage) bourgeoisieses (conan grey) milk town/mr carter (nep) doppelganger - lullaby (ethan bortnick) my baby loves to dance (kenya grace) horror night (starcourt) (@delta-orionis, you will like this one)

some from last week that i forgor to note down: tiny human (elohim), some type of skin (aurora), chukotka (otyken), training season (dua lipa, chloe caillet mix), georgian spirit (equbeats), online (twrp), someone else (kenya grace)

aaaand formentera/formentera ii again.

podcasts: wtyp on the francis scott key bridge collapse, and jim gordon must die podcast of all time

reading: i started reading 'bunny' by mona awad because it came up as a recommendation in libby when i was returning mdzs. i am going to be valiant and give it one more chapter but i do not like it. it feels like its trying very hard to emulate a certain type of vibe that i already don't find super appealing in fiction so the trying-vibe of it makes it even more uninteresting to me. the premise is a girl at a mfa program in nebulous New England Private Liberal Arts School(tm) which like, fine, dark academia or whatever; there are four (five?? i literally cannot remember which, lol) other girls in her cohort who are a weird clique and call each other 'bunny' and are rich and sheltered but harboring a Dark Secret Club. sure. the first few chapters ooze 'not like other girls'-ism, the 'bunny' characters themselves feel flat and like caricatures in an unappealing way, main character's other friend ava also is a caricature in a boring way, just very uninspiring. like i said i will give it another chapter or two but if it continues to bore me i will return it.

i finished the scum villain extras! very charming.

watching: keeping up to date with dunmeshi, yay, and also been continuing to watch endeavor with a friend. it's good! i love a mystery show! it is impossible to watch without subtitles though because they are So British. relatedly i am going to terf island for two weeks in june (london and then edinburgh) so if you know any recs for food, places, etc i am all ears!

playing: this weekend was going to be 3 dnd games in a row ... then monday was postponed to next monday ... but my sunday group, which is normally every other week, has decided to play next sunday as well bc we skipped a few weeks ... so Next weekend is the 3 day dnd combo lmfao. i don't mind too bad.

making: pottery!!! some bisque came out and i am soooo chuffed (<- endeaver tv show britishism rubbing off on me) this will be its own post with more images because i want to @ the inspiring artist, jbbartram-illu on tumblr (shop); i am obsessed with the cave painting mugs from a few months ago that immediately sold out so i was like fuck it i wanna make my own. and i am obsessed with my lil fat horses. i put amaco ancient jasper on the inside and just a matte clear on the outside. hopefully it is matte enough. i also put little hands on the handles and now i want to make some more cave painting mugs that are just the hands, i could cut out some templates to sponge underglaze around maybe...

my beautiful cracked-the-code bowls and two maybe teacups, post-trimming:

and also trying a new glaze technique: bisqued underglaze and then liquid latex over top! that way you can slather a background on and just peel it off after without painting around the details. im ngl peeling off the latex was soooo satisfying. background is laguna celadon froth.

i've also glazed my citrus juicer, just a plain warm yellow color, looking forward to that :3

glaze: mother's day gift (planter, it's. fine. idk. she'll like it i hope), and also some fixed stuff! didn't bother taking pics, the black eye bowl from feb 6 tuesdaypost is now food safe on the inside because i sanded down the kiln medium bit that got stuck in there and re-glazed it. i also tried to fix the bowl from march 12 tuesdaypost by just lightly sanding the inside and slapping some laguna celadon froth over it...it looks exactly the same now, just with some sort of float-like blue splotches lol. no pictures of it but eh. might give it away, we'll see.

eating: Spicy Clam Pasta With Bacon, Peas and Basil Recipe (NYT): tasty. idk about 'spicy' but definitely yummy.

misc: definitely in a weird spot brain-wise...the anxiety and tummyache link/feedback loop is very real for me now, so i am going back on an extremely low dose of ssri about it, and even though i have been on this med before in much larger amount i am still experiencing aaa about it. i keep going between "going back on this is a good idea" and "or i could just keep taking ~10mg of cbd every other day bc that felt like it was doing something, even if it was just placebo i had a noticeable difference in mood" so like. bluh. idk. i wish i could just Know what the best course of action is instead of having to fuck around and find out. such is life. i am literally taking the world's babiest dose rn (breaking the starter pill in half) so it will be fine. as long as i dont get bad side effects im willing to do a few weeks on it and see what happens.

[junkeboxjunkie]

https://www.tumblr.com/junkeboxjunkie/759159628617613312/after-the-mj-biopic-its-gonna-be-over-for?source=share.

continuing.....

Jessie J:

Price Tag: 251.021k daily -  January 2011

Birdy:

Skinny love: 307.483k daily-  January 2011

LMFAO:

Party Rock Anthem: 374.200k daily - January 2011

Leona Lewis:

Bleeding Love: 302.868k daily -  September 2007

Iggy Azalea:

Fancy: 169.070k  daily -  February 2014

Olly Murs:

Troublemaker: 261.258k daily-  October 2012

Nick Jonas:

Jealous: 212.850k daily-   September 2014

Cee Lo Green:

Fuck you: 132.928k daily-  August 2010

Taio Cruz:

Dynamite: 497.842k daily  - July 2010

Little Mix:

Shout out to my ex:  143.035k daily-  October 2016

Lorde:

Royals: 327.219k daily-  June 2013

Zayn:

Dusk till dawn: 803.185k daily-  September 2017

Avril Lavigne:

Complicated: 863.117k daily-  March 2002

Jennifer Lopez:

On the floor: 532.682k daily-  February 2011

Demi Lovato:

Heart Attack: 497.625k daily-  February 2013

Mark Ronson:

Uptown Funk: 813.971k daily-  November 2014

Alicia Keys:

If I ain't got you: 1.023.207M daily-  February 2004

Beat it:  963.152k daily-  February 1983

Rock with you: 662.993k daily -  October 1979

Smooth Criminal: 421.026k daily-  October 1988

Chicago: 303.511k daily-  May 2014

The way you make me feel: 287.658k daily-  November 1987

Thriller: 280.551k daily-  November 1982

Don't stop till you get enough: 245.602k daily-  July 1979

Chicago getting over 300k streams daily is so iconic (it's not even a song he released in his lifetime, and it took 8 years to go viral, but better late than never) XSCAPE in general has a lot of surprisingly good songs (Loving You Original Version >>>) I wonder what the numbers on Heaven Can Wait are, I remember that going viral too (I'm just gonna say right now that Break of Dawn is better though... That and Unbreakable are my jams)

Also all those songs listed are giving me so much nostalgia 😭 My elementary school playlist in a nutshell (God I would always hear Taio Cruz's Dynamite and Pharrell William's Happy everywhere back in 2014)

[2dkapsddr]

June 19th, 2024 - Phigros, Arcaea, PIU Phoenix, Rotaeno

read the news this morning that territory battle, in addition to being removed from its original performai games, would be removed from phigros as well in the coming update. looking to make the most of it before it's removed though, i tried to phi all its difficulties and got the HD down while half asleep, as well as giving the AT some attempts to see if i could somehow do it!! i couldn't do it consistently, but i did way better than i thought i would... hmm.... could i actually get this?

between and after those plays, i also grinded out some more PMs in arcaea to deplete my stamina and also get in some more progress in my Quest for Perfection . got FTR PMs #99 and #101 on Lights of Muse (FTR-8+, MAX-9) and MERLIN (FTR-8+, MAX-6) respectively, but obviously i had to do something special to commemorate my 100th FTR PM. so what did i do exactly? why, i PM'ED MEDUSA (FTR-10) ON THE SPOT!!!! MAX-36 PURE MEMORY, 10 PM #2, AND FTR PM #100!!!!!!

warmup was over after that, and it was time to go through with my day plans to meet a friend at the (other) arcade and play some pump!! a lot of pump!!! but since all i had played earlier were mobile rhythm games and i needed to warm up my legs first, i obviously started with som- naw jk LOL i went IMMEDIATELY for the 20s and claimed allll the clears i could get LMFAO (and after clearing these two in particular (86 S20 SS+ and Papasito S20 AA+), i got Advanced Lv.1 title!!! finally!!! no more intermediate bronze!!!!)

so with my brand new, shiny silver title in hand and a bunch more 20s to clear until i reached Advanced Lv.3 to take on 21s, i pushed on and got a bunch more even cooler S20/D20 clears!!! Stager D20 (funnie) AAA+, CHAOS AGAIN S20 AA+, Utopia S20 AAA+ (peak btw), Gargoyle D20 AA+ (i can do better dw), Blazing S20 AA+ (one of my old early S19s before it was moved up!), Kasou Shinja -Short Cut- S20 AAA+, and Ghroth D20 AAA to wrap up the session! (Level 20 rating: <13,000 -> 18,975, 7,025 (10-11 more 20 clears) away from Advanced Lv.2!)

really good session overall, buuuut it was back home after that to unwind and relax... but i also played some Rotaeno on the bus to make extra story progress and cleared Inverted World (IV Lv.13)!

a little more arcaea progress: Ascent (FTR-9+, MAX-22) as FTR PM #102, and a hard clear on World Ender (BYD-11) on my third try (coulda been my first...) as part of Axiom of the End!!!

ending it off with a bit more rotaeno: got an AP on Journey With You (IV Lv.11) and a really good sightread S+ on Rush E (IV Lv.12+)!!

BONUS: footage of my Gargoyle D20 clear recorded by my friend who was there today :]

[nathank77]

4/6/24

11:19 p.m added to significantly/edited 11:45 p.m

I remember you posted these as your story when I showed up in Andover and Southbury...

This was after Andover:

This was after Southbury when I got pulled over at like 11 p.m before getting gas and leaving:

This was sometime after I went to Southbury and during the day when I went to walgreens?: I saw a blue Subaru... but idk what car you drive and as a male, I can't walk up to cars and look into them. Even females can't get away with that... but especially as a male...

So of course this could have all been posted by someone else and my brain said your Instagram posted it. It was all before I got psychosis but I don't have your name on them bc I didn't want to be too creepy... I saved it from the original post.......

I did have that physical hallucination about the Rosalyn song "you" posted. It was before psychosis. So I can't say I'm 100% sure you posted any of these....the physical hallucination I suffered from was like October 7th, 3 days before I got full blown psychosis....

Let's say you did- you've been on my tumblr since like June 2023... and you were trying to tell me a couple things.

1) When I showed up in Andover and you didn't- it was your capacity as a therapist.... and that I shouldn't let it affect my self worth.

2) When I went to Southbury that night you knew and time stood still for you. You were saying I belonged there. And that you wanted to find me but you couldn't.

3) The last post suggested that you either showed up for me and couldn't get out of the car or you wanted to and the fear of being seen with me kept you away from me. I think about that blue Subaru a lot but idk if it was your car... I'm not even sure if you have a Subaru...let alone if it's blue... all I know is i used the bathroom in walgreens and I walked back to my car. I didn't see you in the store... but I stared down that blue Subaru as I drove out of the driveway. It had a bumper sticker on it... it probably wasn't your car. Idk...

I saved every post you ever posted. I'm not joking when I said your Instagram, even though it was your therapist Instagram, whether it was related to me or not, was a ray of sunshine in my life.

I legit have Dropbox accounts full of your stories. Maybe I'm crazy, I don't think I am.

I do question if they were your posts bc my dumb ass didn't take "screen grabs" lmfao you're dorky too Elise but I didn't take screenshots of the older posts being a part of your story, I really went to the original post......... I didn't have psychosis back then and I didn't know I was hallucinating anything...... so I didn't feel the need to have your name attached to it....

Either way I believe you're here now and even if you look at my tumblr and go those posts I never posted, you understand my brain was lying to me...

Even if you've only been here since February, you got to understand my brain was slowly deteriorating leading up to the month of October.....before it broke completely. I was hallucinating every single night. A voice I thought was yours but it always stopped talking. That's why I'm pursuing Kristen- because I talked to her many times about that voice and how I thought I was empathically connected to you and how i heard you talking to me.. that's irrelevant but that's my point.

You may come here and read this and go I didn't post that, or I only got on tumblr in February 2024, or that was all simply coincidence idk how it added up to what you were posting on tumblr. And maybe you're not here at all but I think you are and I think its possible you've been here since June 2023 but somehow I doubt that..

I don't doubt February 2024 to now though.

So yea...

[coldnightenthusiast]

[mrs-immortal]

Be gay do crime :)

happy pride month to everyone!

[nullwork]

literally been so angry violence aggression this entire month it is noooot a good look for me

[stormblessed95]

Jikook Dynamics Through The Years: 2015 Pt 2

The previous posts for 2012 - 2015 can be found in my masterlist under Jikook Dynamics as well as I'll link them here for you. These few months in 2015 is when things that things really starting becoming more... interesting between them. Lots happening. Something important to keep in mind that I'll be sharing moments, AND my personal opinions, along with facts. My opinions are my own. You can agree or disagree. I encourage you to go and check it all out, see this content for yourself as well and form your own opinions during this time frame too. I will be splitting this up into multiple different posts probably to manage the length and be able to add more links/photos in each post. But also keep in mind this is not EVERY jikook moment from this year. I'll only be including moments that I personally want to and feel like it's worth drawing attention to and commenting on. This is long. I'm sorry! Part 2 will be covering May and June of 2015.

🐾

May kicks off with strong with a jikook selca on Twitter! Thanking ARMY for being there for I Need U promotions and saying they are having fun, even though it's only been 2 day! This selca comes from them being special MCs together. Which you can watch here.

Bonus. Also on May 1st is a dubsmash video from JK. Not jikook related. But too cute not to include lol

150505 The Show airs an interview with BTS about their I Need U MV. They rewatch the MV and talk about it. Jimin states he wants to burn away weight and stress. JK gives him a funny look when he says weight before agreeing with stress. JK also shouts JIMINSSI as he does when Jimin's childhood photo is shown. Also lots of cute giggles here from everyone. This was filmed earlier, and also on this day, they had a live radio broadcast interview. Which was the infamous interview where Jimin gets asked why he likes JK so much and Tae says that he thinks Jimin just likes men 😅 Lol You can read my full post over that moment HERE.

The after-school club special show happens this day, 150505, as well. Very busy these guys were! Highly recommend watching it if you haven't. Jikook sit next to each other in the front. Lots of cute little interactions with them and with everyone. JK clearly has a lot of energy this episode. I'm not going to talk about everything (just watch it!) I'll just highlight a few answers given. Everyone picked Jimin as the member they want to take on a Rollercoaster ride. Lol Jimin named JK as his bag boy. Clearly JK does a lot of carrying things for Jimin. 🤣 Jungkook in this episode too also named Jimin as the member who helps him relieve stress. Jimin is at this point clearly someone who JK feels very comfortable around, can be vulnerable with and feel safe expressing those stressors and finding help in moving past them or dealing with them. JK also this episode made funny faces at Jimin a few times in an effort to make him laugh.

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150506, BTS perform at Show Champion. Performance here. And they release a few days later the Show Champion Backstage Footage. Which includes 10 minutes of cuteness. Including jikook being cute and close, including talking about boxing together and being very playful and teasing about Jimin's abs too. JK was in a tease my hyungs mood that day for sure lmfao

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150507, BTS' first win with I Need U. And its a video that emotional as hell 😭 As for jikookery, Jimin got very emotional and ended up not wanting to be on camera while he was crying. JK noticed and tried to lend him comfort over it all before Jimin walked off to collect himself alone for a bit. Namjoon, JK and Hobi all comforting Jimin in the elevator after too 🥺

150508, the morning kicks off with Jimin sharing posts of vminkook and puppies 🥰 and much later in the evening of the day, Jimin posts 3 more times to twt, thanking ARMYs many times for their award. He posts selcas with every member. With Tae, with Sope, with Jungkook Jin and RM. We also see them on this day heading off to music bank in matching fits.

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150510, BTS appears on Changmin's Gayo Plaza radio show. Jikook sat next to each other. During the radio show they all mention how they recently moved into a bigger dorm room! Before that, they were all in the single room. Now in this new room they had the roommates of Yoonjin, VhopeMin and Namkook. With them pointing out that JK often just slept in the living room too. Lol when asked about singing and dancing live at the same time, RM said JM and JK should answer. JK hedged around a bit and said because they had 7 members to spilt parts up, it wasn't THAT hard. And Jimin cut him off going "I ALMOST DIED!" With everyone's giggles. They also all talked about how they relieved stress. JK basically said he doesn't get stressed, doesn't know how to recognize that. And Jimin talked about how he doesn't know how to relieve stress and how he likes food, but also needs to lose weight and so he basically does nothing. There is alot more happening in this interview worth watching as well, but honestly it's just a good insight into their mental whereabouts during this time and things going on in their lives. New dorm. Busy lives. Jimin struggling a bit stress wise. JK struggling a bit with vulnerability in my opinion, especially around other people/cameras. Jimin didn't talk too much and JK had a hard time sitting still through the interview, but it was a good one and they all had good energy with the host and each other through it.

Also on the 10th, A safe driving commercial was released. Has nothing to do with jikook, but anyone who hasn't seen it really needs to. Lol as well as JK posting a dubsmash video to twt. On the 10th as well, they depart from the airport to go to Kota Kinabalu to film Summer Package 2015. You can read my post over that here. Lol also a cute aside bonus link.... Taekook got lost at the airport. 😅😂 They are there from the 10th through the 13th. On the 13th before they leave, JK posts another dubsmash. And Jikook film a log in the hotel room together late at night. One they were just hanging out in, not their own. JK was rooming with Tae and Jimin with Yoongi during that trip. So they were just choosing to chill together 💜 short and cute:

On 150515 they held a fansign and jikook had quite a few cute moments. Including Jimin telling everyone that JK hugs him when he sleeps. Cueing a flustered JK trying to deny everything. Lol my post for that here.

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Jumping forward 5 days to the next fansign in Ilsan on 150520, jikook once again sit next to each other and have a quite few playful moments (an example). But my favorite would be when Jimin got up to pretend to be a fan and JK reached up and tickled his chin. And looked so proud of himself. Lol and Jimin lost his mind, the definition of shook. Here is a video of the moment. Jimin was literally so taken aback. Lol couldn't stop smiling and saying things like "he just touched my chin! He's never done that before." And JK also could not stop grinning. Babies 🥺

On 150524, JK recommends a song by Kehlani called You should be Here, an openly queer artist. On 150526, JK recommends a song on Twitter called Can't Help Falling In Love by the Eels. He ends up recommending quite a few songs by them over the years. But for this song, he has it stopped on the lyrics, "If I can't help falling in love with you." Only 15 seconds into the song according to his screenshot. Relatable to his life at the moment or just a song he was vibing with? Who knows.... including it anyway.

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On 150527, they are on YamanTV. This one well it feels like hosts are incredibly cringy though BTS handled it well. Its funny in lots of moments, but cringey in lots too. I don't think you'd ever catch them doing a similar type of interview at the fame level they are at in recenf years. Lol This is one where I will say watch if you want, but no pressure if you just want to catch the highlight round clips since it's so long and a bit cringe. Lol jikook highlight clips for those who want to only watch those.... 21:27 Jimin enjoys JKs muscles/forearms. 25:00, jikook arm wrestle. And Part 2 of YamanTV. Both these parts were released in June, but filmed on this day in May. And again, for those who want to just watch specific clips where I'll highlight jikookery.... 1:30ish in, For Jimins segement, his keyword is "pervert" and one of the hosts makes a play on words joke with "pervert" vs "coming out" and says that Jimin is coming out for his segement. Jimin did NOT seem to find this funny at all (don't blame him) and while everyone else laughs and plays it off. Jimin and JK are the only ones who do not. Jimin turns it around to the members. Calls out Hobi as a "pervert" for stroking his body while he sleeps. Jimin then also says JK is also a "pervert" and JK seems a bit nervous about where that is going and Jimin makes a joke about all the cosmetics JK owns with "women scents" since he is sensitive to smell. Which JK didn't really seem to appreciate that too much either. And finally RM for downloading, um "corn" on the computer. 10:30ish in, JK confirms that he is indeed, an ass man. "Touching the members butts before going on stage calms his nerves." Lol and 28ish in, Jimin gets nervous about having to do some funny improv but gets more confident when JK shares out about how "Jimins good at this!"

On 150530, to end May off with a tweet from Jimin thanking ARMYs and talking about finishing up their last broadcast. Posted with 2 jikook selcas. And to end off my links I'm going to include for the month of May.... at some point during this month, they filmed all 5 episodes of the Bukbolbuk games they played. You can read about the jikook moments from those here.

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To kick off June, on 150603 they do an MWave meet and greet livestream. Jimin seems to be having a somewhat off day. Just a bit moody or grumpy with his members. It's a cute livestream though. Jimin picks the jikook spread from the photobook as his favorite, but didn't really give an answer as to why. Just said they took the photos, seemingly shy/annoyed to be asked. Towards the end, RM also asks Jungkook if he likes girls in bikinis. To which Jimin seems incredibly annoyed by the question and says "people don't really think of us as men." And JK answered by simply saying "I know everything I need to know about bikinis." Which is quite the brush off answer from JK, very dismissive of *liking* girls in bikinis. And quite a bit of annoyance from Jimin. Wonder what's going on with him this day, or what's bothering him....

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And then one of my favorites! 150605, BTS are in Malaysia and do a media interview. There isn't much honestly recording wise of this unfortunately. But one of my favorite interview jikook answers pops up here. The MC asks them all to describe the member next to them. So the order went: V, Suga, Jin, RM, JK, JM, Hope, V. Everyone gave copious amounts of compliments, as they often do with this question. And JK unprompted, said he would date Jimin. Lol this wasn't a MC question of which member would you date. JK volunteered that information out of left field. You can find this trans thread of all the members answers. Notice the difference please. As well as a recording of them saying it. And Jimins response to JK 🥺 shook. Translation here and it deserves its own photo. Out of pocket!!

On 150606, after rehersals they get ice-cream and in the bangtan bomb we see JK feed Jimin bites of ice cream off his spoon looking very fond as well. Jimins cute reaction to the yummy food is adorable too.

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On the 8th their Festa profiles were released. They did both profiles written by other members and by themselves. So you can find my post over the profiles written by other members here. Namjoon wrote JKs profile. And JK wrote Jimins. Where he correlated Jimin to a love song and also complimented his looks in all of the ways. 😍 you can find their self written profiles here. Jimin and JK both list RM as their number one subunit want. Jimin making his a trio with namgi and himself. Jimin also listed a jikook subunit as his number 2. He also said that the song that describes himself the most at that time was Dear No One by Tori Kelley. A song JK also ends up singing/saying he likes a different time. You can find the rest of the Festa content here. And then on the 11th, we of course have the Festa Radio Show!

There is ALOT we could talk about honestly in this video, but I'm going to keep it as short as possible here (and yall know me... that's never very short). Mostly there were just lots of small random touching to just touch. Lots of staring happening, lots and lots of giggles and tons of teasing through the whole video between the 2 of them. Including JK proving once again he knows obscure Jimin Facts while teasing him over it a bit too. Post over JK teasing Jimin about Brian Puspos Here. And how everyone teased JK for raising his hand during the question "I like my roommate, but sometimes I envy other rooms/want to room with someone else." His reasoning was that sometimes Joon is too messy and he likes the other rooms too. Wonder whose room and what he liked?? Tae (rooming with Jihope) also raised his hand for this. Lol it was supposed to be anonymous but JK gave himself away and Jimin kept slapping his shoulder/chest and giving him head pats in fondness as he laughed at JK. Lol Everyone also teases Jimin for leaving wet bandanas in the bathroom after showering. (I don't get it Jimin, is it a pseudo washcloth?!) JK says he is like real hip hop. Namjoon says his (Jimins) taste is enchanting, but he used the Korean word which could be a euphemism for kinky. Lol he also said maybe Jimin can take photos just using the collar from the shirt on his naked body (literally what lmfao) and JK goes "that's cool." Yeah, sure is *cool" JK. And Jimin is just dying laughing as everyone teases him before denying things and ending the conversation. They all also tease JK about being a) a muscle pig b) collecting cosmetics and c) being impossible to wake up in the mornings. Lol and towards the end (54ish minutes in) JK starts randomly circling and stroking Jimins finger with his hand?? Lol idk what the thought process there was other than a want to touch? A desire to play with Jimins cute fingers.

Lol there is also an entire discussion during this Festa about JK very much insisting he is an adult now (and he is and got his ID) and everyone was teasing, asking if he got the idea or not and why he wouldn't let them see it. JK saying yes he got it, because he is an adult now and no because he hates the photo. Lol and once again, Jimin is sitting out of the group teasing JK about something he does to all of them. Not letting them see his new ID.... not answering their calls or texts.... his need for many mattresses/house decor.... we know JK answers Jimins phone calls... seems like Jimin knows more about the ID possibly too. Perhaps he DID get to see it. Lol not that important, but still an interesting difference.

There are no English subs for the 150612 Naver starcast video that i can find.... but it's essentially just 30 minutes of BTS playing games, Jimin enjoying himself and Jungkook literally melting into a giant puddle of goo and love and fondness watching Jimin laugh and smile. Literally watches him for most of the video and this looks like the DEFINITION of "holy crap, I really f**king like this guy. Oh my god, my heart." The heart eyes. MY HEART. The gifs and clips are iconic for most jikookers lol

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On the 17th they were on Weekly Idol, and I'll just share the unpretty dance portion. Lol their reactions to each other's dance 😅 Jimin getting stopped early because he "shakes his hips too much for their viewer rating" 🤣🤣

150619, they do the NicoNico Live Broadcast in Japan to promote their For You single. It's about an hour long and truly a wonderful little video worth watching if you've never seen it. This is honestly a good example of when BTS does fanservice. Lol for anyone confused on what might count or not, here is an example. Very cute interview though for the most part too. It was all about the red string of fate. Please watch it. Maybe I'll make a post about the whole thing one day. Eventually they get told they will do romantic partner poses together in pairs. Lmao Jimin visibly cringes about that. Not a fan of fanservice, our man. Jimin and RM get paired up and Jimin gets so adorably flustered through the whole process 🤣 Hopekook get paired up and Jimin catcalls them and tells them to kiss 🤣 Hopekook decide on doing a piggyback for their romantic pose lol. Later they each pulled on ends of a red string to find a partner to play a game where they had to move a ball around by holding it between their faces with no hands. Lol Jimin doesn't get a partner at first and in an effort to let him get a chance to win, he wanted to try. Everyone except JK complains about having to try to play again. JK just sets up the ropes to see who will end up playing with him lol. JK when asked about his own red string of fate, refuses to say who he thinks it's connected to and when asked about long distance, JK says he couldn't do long distance. Jimin says no one in BTS would probably want to do long distance. When asked about how one can express their feelings and say things like "i like you" to someone when they are really shy, how would they do it. Everyone insisted Jimin answer it since he is also really shy and the most shy. Lol Jimin gets flustered and goes "I don't know either! You guys tell me!!" And JK looks at him so fondly. And Jins answer to that was super sweet too. Watch this interview!! BTS Japan Twt posted afterwards a group photo after the broadcast. JK is sitting in Jimins lap pretty much 🥰

At some point in June or whenever jikook died their hair lol, they filmed Dope as well. You can find my thoughts over part of the making film from memories in this post here. And you can watch the BTS episode making film from YouTube here too. Naver StarCast also released an article with behind the scenes photos from when they were making the MV. Which includes some police officer roleplaying (maybe, hard to tell from photos lol) from jikook. And the makes this Twitter video extra sus was the fact that it got deleted. Jimin or Jungkook posted this video of them to Twitter or fancafe (I don't remember) from when they were filming the Dope MV.... making kissy faces at the camera and then JK leaning to kiss the camera, but going all the way over to kiss where JIMIN is standing in the camera frame. 👀 and then it was deleted.... so think of that whatever you decide lol

Some point between the 20th and the 23rd, they filmed Run BTS episodes 1 -2 as well. Also filmed right around that same time was Gayo Tracks 1 - 2 also. On 150623, they filmed Run BTS Episode 5, which you can read my post over here. As well as on this day, they filmed the reaction to their Dope MV. Which was just Jimin and Jhope. I won't say too much, but you could make it a drinking game... how many times does Jimin call Jungkook handsome in 5 minutes? And at some in the middle of June, they also filmed Run BTS Episode 4 and Episode 6. (Episode 3 was filmed in July)

On 150625 they perform on Mcountdown for Dope and have a Q&A backstage with fan questions on sticky notes. There is a lot of chest slapping happening this video from everyone. Lol Jimin looks horrified yet still finding it funny when JK eats one of the sticky notes. 😆 (literally why...) and at one point Jimin gets answered as who is the main character of the Dope MV. And so then JK holds onto him with one arm as he repeatedly slaps Jimins chest with the other hand along with all the other members. Lol

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150627, JK posts a twt video of Jimin sleeping. With the caption "Aigoo our hyung-nim is sleeping well. What could he be dreaming about..." and on 150628, Jimin posts a response to the video with his own tweet.... and a translation here where he addressed JK calling him hyungnim lol He also posted a jikook selca thanking ARMY. Also on this day, JK posts another song recommendation, this one called Love Me Again, stopped on the lyrics "could you love me again" lots of love songs being recommended recently. Just his taste or his taste at the moment for a reason? 🤷🏻‍♀️ A Bangtan Bomb was also filmed this day where we see JK film said sleeping Jimin from the first tweet. Lol

150630, warm up interview video. Around 6:30ish in, JK holds Jimin from behind by the waist very cutely. Jimin starts acting up and being silly, but JK just hangs out there for a good 20 seconds just holding him. Lol Also on the 30th, Jimin posts to Twitter with the caption, thank you, 600 photos. And posts screenshots of jikook and jimin selca spam in his camera folder. Lol

And that wraps up part 2 for May & June 2015! Due to the winning poll, I'm posting this part early, with only 2 months in it rather than 4. Not every moment was included, more just so the ones I personally felt like were ones more worthy of calling attention to and spoke to their bond. I'm not including every skinship moment or playful moment or moment where they looked at each other. Lol and my opinions are littered throughout these posts too.

Overall, I truly think this is the start of a 2015 dynamic shift coming up soon. I think that Jimin is a little more infatuated, I think he is perhaps noticing JK as an adult more this year, particularly these past 2 months. Noticing how he is finding Jungkook attractive and seemingly in more than just the friendly compliments way. JK is starting to really crush hard in some ways it seems. It looks like he is really started to test the waters a bit on what his feelings are and open up to them more. If that all makes sense. I'm not going to say TOO much, because honestly, the next 2 months are when it starts really getting good. Lol

That's all just my personal opinion though. You are all free to agree or disagree with any or one of it! Thanks  for letting me share, and again, sorry this is so long! If you read it all know I appreciate you lots! And again, if some of the timing is a smidge off for when the moments were actually filmed rather than released, I'm doing my best! Lol Thanks again! Part 3 will be next and that will include July and August 2015!

[sophielovesbooks]

Mid Year Book Freakout Tag!

I’m a bit late to this party… but I wrote this a few days ago when I wasn’t feeling 100% after getting my second Covid vaccine and took the entire day off. So I finally had the time to write this :)

Let me pull up my Goodreads real quick and have a look at the 33 books I have so far this year.

1. The Best Book of the Year So Far

Hmm, let’s see. I feel like it’s fair to give two answers to this one, because on the one hand, there is the book that qualifies as “the best” from a literary perspective (at least in my opinion) and that would be CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS by Sally Rooney. Definitely had its own style and felt… infused with a deeper meaning, at least to me. It was also very compelling. Personally, I couldn’t stop reading it. And I feel like it had a lot to say about modern-day relationships (romantic, platonic… all kinds really).

Then, there is the book that I personally enjoyed this most, and that was probably THE GIRLS ARE ALL SO NICE HERE by Laurie Elisabeth Flynn. It kind of felt like your standard thriller, but also not. While it was super suspenseful and fun to read, I also genuinely cared about the characters and loved the portrayal of toxic teen girls’ friendships and generally teenage cruelty in the context of wanting to be cool/to fit in. It made me reflect on a lot of things, so to me, it’s definitely more than a thriller that you forget right after reading it. And it also definitely qualifies as dark academia, and discovering a new DA book I love is always great! <3

2. Best Sequel of the Year So Far

Wow, I am NOT big on sequels. I have only read one this year, which is just further proof that I’m not very into book series and much prefer standalones. The only sequel I have read this year was also a very good one, though: MISTER IMPOSSIBLE by Maggie Stiefvater. Much anticipated by me and thankfully, I had a great time with it. :)

3. A New Release You Haven’t Read Yet But Want To

I’m going to go with MALIBU RISING by Taylor Jenkins Read! I was gifted this book by my boyfriend’s grandma for my birthday on June 29 (so sweet!) and I think I will read it next. I am very excited for this one!

4. Most Anticipated Release for Autumn/Winter

Two books I am VERY excited for are A LESSON IN VENGEANCE by Victoria Lee and IN MY DREAMS I HOLD A KNIFE by Ashley Winstead. I’m not even really sure why. I don’t know that much about either of them yet. But they just call to me, just like The Girls Are All So Nice Here did. And that one didn’t disappoint, so hopefully these two won’t either.

5. Your Biggest Disappointment of the Year So Far

Maybe THE GUEST LIST by Lucy Foley? I mean, it wasn’t awful. But I remember that I wasn’t impressed and had been expecting more somehow. Objectively the worst book I read this year would have to be THE SHARP EDGE OF A SNOWFLAKE by Sif Sigmarsdóttir, lol. But that one doesn’t count as the biggest disappointment, because I didn’t go in expecting that much. It was just an ebook that I bought for a low price at one point.

6. Your Biggest Surprise of the Year So Far

Definitely THE GIRLS I’VE BEEN by Tess Sharpe. I did not expect a YA thriller to be as intense and emotional and fun and just plain well-written as it was! Biggest positive surprise of the year so far, I think. :) I felt similarly surprised by  A GOOD GIRL’S GUIDE TO MURDER by Holly Jackson. Another YA thriller (or mystery, I guess?) that was so much better than I had expected! 

7. New Favourite Author

I’m going to have to say THE MOTHER by Tess Stimson. I was expecting it to be a semi-fun thriller without much depth to it, just easy entertainment, I suppose. I was extremely surprised by the emotional depth I encountered. The death at the heart of this story is that of an infant, but I was expecting the book to sort of gloss over how tragic that actually is. Instead, it leaned into the grief so much, I found myself absolutely shook? The book almost moved me to tears several times. The mystery was so intense, I kept guessing and guessing. At one point quite early on, I had the solution, but the author masterfully misdirected me from that again, so that the twist at the end came as the biggest shock! Yeah, I loved this so much more than I had ever expected! Well done, Tess Stimson!

8. Your Newest Favourite Character

I haven’t absolutely fallen in love with any new characters this year, but three that stand out to me (in the order I encountered them this year) are:

1) Pippa Fitz-Amobi from A GOOD GIRL’S GUIDE TO MURDER by Holly Jackson

2) Katrina Hawkins from THE STARLESS SEA by Erin Morgenstern

3) Nora O’Malley from THE GIRLS I’VE BEEN by Tess Sharpe

9. Your Newest Fictional Crush

Umm… absolutely nothing comes to mind lmfao. Fictional crushes have become so rare for me!

10. A Book that Has Made You Cry

THE MOTHER almost made me cry, I think. Not sure if there were actual tears. CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS and NORMAL PEOPLE both (almost) moved me to tears several times. But I didn’t have any break-downs over books this year. At least not yet.

EDIT: Omg, omg, omg, I forgot A LITTLE LIFE! How the f did I forget about A LITTLE LIFE?! I broke down over this book several times. It was awful. Never before has a book made me suffer so much. I mean that. I didn’t just cry, the book also made me feel physically ill several times. Very well written, yes, but not one I can recommend in good conscience. This is not one of those instances of “You’ll cry, but you’ll love crying”, at least not for me. This is something I perhaps should have not put myself through. Because the experience overall was painful, first and foremost. Stay safe, kids. This one is… a lot.

11. A Book That Has Made You Happy

This is so sad to say, but none of the books I read this year gave me that warm, glowy feeling of pure comfort and happiness you get from books sometimes? Some passages of THE STARLESS SEA came the closest, I would say.

12. The Most Beautiful Book of the Year So Far

Again, I need to mention THE STARLESS SEA with the beautiful prose and imagery! <3 Also A LITTLE LIFE maybe? Beautifully written at times. Absolutely heart- and gut-wrenching at others.

13. Some Books You Need to Read Before 2021 Ends

Hahaha… so many. But I’ll pick out a few that I will likely finish until the year is over: MALIBU RISING, AN OCEAN OF MINUTES by Thea Lim (birthday present by a close friend! <3), THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS by Micah Nemerever (birthday present my dad gave me! <3) and THEY NEVER LEARN by Layne Fargo (bday present my godmother gave me! <3). You see, I am much more committed to reading books that were given to me rather than books I bought myself. So these have good chances of being finished in 2021. :)

14. Tag Two of Your Favourite Community Members

@books-and-cookies Have you answered these questions yet? And @augustinianseptember? Would REALLY love to read both of your answers! <3<3

[radiorenjun]

Grand announcement ❗❗❗

Yep you read that right and no this is not a joke, unfortunately.

Honestly is it that much of a surprise?

Um I don't know when I'm actually going to post this or if I will post this considering I've been debating on whether i should actually take time off of not. But depending on the date I post this, its either going to be one of two reasons or both.

LETS GO WITH THE POSITIVE ONE FIRST SHALL WE?

First of all, Happy Ramadan! My maids going back to her old village for the holidays so I'm going to have to assist my parents in babysitting more til she gets back. Therefore I will be too busy to post or update. Or maybe my parents plan an unexpected vacation or something and I'll be too busy to communicate with anyone on my phone.

Edit: I take it back my mom fired her when she caught some cigarette ashes in her room today (my maid went back to her village yesterday btw) and now we gonna get a temporary one that comes and goes everyday at the end of Ramadan LMFAOOO more chores for me then

Also, im posting this to just inform everyone I'll be okay and I'll return somewhere in the end of May or the beginning of June considering I promised a few moots to voice call then. Man, it feels weird speaking all serious like this. It feels even weirder that I'm not even using capslock lmfao.

Okay the other reason. Im not really thrilled to think that it's finally drove me up so far i have to take a break from everything.

If you can't tell from how I've been on and off lately uh like my mental health is getting bad. Like really really bad?

I won't go into much details but for safety stuff here's your trigger warning for ED, SH, Depression, Nightmares, etc. If you don't want to read this part you can scroll down until you see some random red statement I'll write later so you can see what I have to say before i leave.

Uh okay where do I start. To sum it all up basically, my mental health is in absolute ruins? At the moment?? Uh... It's been the worst it has been in the past three to four years? I don't know anymore. I can't sleep properly because I keep having nightmares of past su1c1d3 attempts and the outcome of actually succeeding. I can't eat properly anymore. My SH habits and my anxiety is coming back (every beginning of every month though so it wasn't as bad as way way when this started) and I trying my best to stop it again. I'm almost a month clean but I doubt that I can last more than that again because everything seems to get worse and worse. I cry myself to sleep because of my thoughts being so fucked up. I tried coming forward with this so many times to my parents and my teachers but they won't believe me, i can't do anything anymore except try to get better by myself. I can't bring myself to communicate with anyone anymore knowing full well that the only thing that's keeping me alive at this moment is socializing. I keep having flashbacks of when older men stalked me everywhere I went in the past. I lie awake knowing that nothing can bring me comfort except seeing that one idol who you all probably know by now. Im literally depending on him to keep me together during the day it's not even funny anymore lmfao.

I have to do endless chores, deal with all of this at once, catch up on two semesters worth of materials for my new school, deal with my graduation ceremony which is coming around this month or next month? Somehow I developed some type of anger issues the past year so haha that's great yuh no.

To stop you from worrying, no, I don't have suicidal tendencies anymore but I don't exactly have something to be thrilled living for. I'm just vibin in life at this point lmao

I'm just tired. I'm really really tired. Id lie awake crying my eyes out while listening to renjun voice audios. I'm tired of crying all the time and I'm tired of everything. Im tired of laying in bed overthinking and stressing bout things that wouldnt normally bother as much. I promise I won't do anything stupid

I won't be gone long. I'm not okay at the moment but I will be. Because at the end i need to be okay again. I'm giving myself time to heal again before something gets bad. I promise I'll come back from time to time. I promise I'll be okay again and I'll come back as that happy hyper renjun simp who swears and uses capslock, spamming memes or whatever.

I'm not comfortable opening up about anything that goes beyond too sad in my life so I'm just going to leave it at that

You can stop scrolling now. The triggering part is over.

Thank you for all the moots who decided to cheer me up unknowingly whenever I was having a mental breakdown. Thank you for reading up to here lmfao uh I don't know what to say? God Im a mess.

Dms on both tumblr and discord will be pretty slow. I'm sorry but I'll reply to my asks like a day or two after they're sent. I won't be posting much until June and I'm truly sorry for those who were waiting for the last chapter of idni, im taking this chance to also rethink the ending so I can somehow make it better than I originally planned it literally a year ago.

Damn broken English 101.

As I said before, I'll be okay when I get back. I'll be the happy hyper angie I always was and always will be when I return. I don't know when I'll post this but hopefully I don't haha. You don't have to be worried about me, this happened before and I always come back okay again. I'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back in a month.

Do what yall do and don't forget to tag me whenever you post any renjun fics haha. I'll miss you all, don't forget about me okay? Haha.

I'll be looking forward to writing again and hopefully I'll be mentally and physically healthy then. Hopefully I'll have my motivation in writing back again by then. I'll try my best to commit into getting better and being happy. Plus I wanna start an sm au but rn it doesn't seem very likely haha

I'll be contacting my networks bout this as soon as I post this.

Thank you and see you all later

[jjk-biased]

park jimin x reader

genre: angst, lil' fluff if you squint hard enough lmfao

word count: 2k words of big sad bros

synopsis: befriending the ever-shy boy park jimin had its ups and downs but you were there for him through everything.

masterlist

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It was supposed to end on a somewhat lighter note. Laughter should’ve rang through the room by now from your remark, or at least a chuckle should’ve been heard from his lips as he denies your claim. He should’ve continued eating his pastries or at least change the topic to the song currently playing in Belle Vie.

There shouldn’t be silence. You shouldn’t hear the pitter patter of the rain outside from the cafe you’re in.

Anything but this.

You could still remember meeting his eyes. There he was, meekly hiding himself from the corner of the room to shield himself from the noise of your classmates. He was alone and it was as if he wanted it to stay that way.

You weren’t sure what was captivating about him. Was it the way his eyes told a different story? Was it how adorable he was as he avoided your stare when you approached him? Was it the small, unsure smile he returned when you looked at him?

You’d never know. But you were happy to be the first one to approach him.

“Hi! I’m Y/N.”

“O-oh… uhm… h-hello,” He trailed off, once again looking at anything but you.

You unintentionally chuckled, somehow frightening this shy boy more, and continued, “Can I ask for your name?”

“I-I’m sorry… I’m Park Jimin.”

“Say Park Jimin… interested in going to the small cafe down the street?”

That was the start of an unlikely friendship between the ever-friendly Y/N and the resident cutie Jimin.

From a few meetings to being stuck by the hip, you two sure became a great duo. But Jimin still had reservations about himself, a nobody, and you, the ever-cheerful person who’d befriend anyone. You would remember Jimin always asking you why you hung out with him. He would list reasons why you were better off without him trailing behind you like a puppy.

“Because I like being friends with you silly!”

And you could see the storm in his eyes fade away just from that remark.

“Wanna go to the Hope Dance Studio oday?”

“I’ll just watch you dance, Jimin, and you owe me tea from Belle Vie.”

You two spent most of your days together and would often bond on your love for music. You discovered a new Jimin through dancing—a Jimin who forgot his stage fright and shyness everytime a beat plays. You loved this side of Jimin. It’s who he is. A dancer, born to perform on stage, yet held back by the timid persona he always went by.

Admittedly, you were secretly glad he was confident enough to show it to you. Only you.

Aside from the dance studio, you two were more than often seen in the small cafe by the school named Belle Vie. It was a cozy cafe that hosted a few stressed students or passerbys who wanted to stop for pastries. It was where you two always hung out after every school day.

As your highschool years went by, you began to lie low from the “popular” people. The famous Y/N who befriended anyone was still friendly, but you decided it was time to stick to those who will be there for you.

That was Jimin. You stuck by him as you went through countless breakdowns, stresses, and heartbreaks.

“You should forget that dork, Y/N! He was a player from the start. If you want, we’ll go egg his house soon because he deserves that shit,” Jimin’s eye twitched as he gripped the macaron in his hand rather harshly.

The two of you were once again in Belle Vie, though this time you were down in the dumps because your asshole of a boyfriend cheated on you with one of your friends.

You snorted as you stole one of the sweet delights from his plate, “The slytherin in you jumped out.”

He preened, mockingly laughing the way rich people do, “I try my best.”

“Thank you, Jimin.”

“Anything for you."

None of your relationships seemed to work. Maybe it was because you never seemed to find any sort of connection with them. Maybe it was because they never had any sort of genuinity to commitment.

Maybe it was because they weren’t Jimin.

It dawned on you on one of those quiet days where you ponder quietly as you gaze at the ceiling. Looking back, it really was Jimin who stuck with you through it all. He made you laugh every time he did his pranks (he was never caught), he made you smile every time he danced like a dork, he made you feel at home.

Squealing lightly, you fell off the bed at your epiphany.

“Holy shit… I like my best friend.”

As soon as those words left your mouth, your eyes widened. There are a lot more negative disadvantages to liking your only best friend. What if he didn’t like you? What if he thinks you’re creepy? What if you don’t become friends anymore?

That last question haunted you more than you liked to admit.

Jimin was your anchor, the one you found solace in when times are rough. Not being with him anymore just because your feelings got in the way.

You’d rather keep it in.

So you did. You kept that little crush to yourself and told not a soul. It kind of hurts to act that way, but it was for the best.

Jimin on the other hand began to grow out of his shell. Because you encouraged him, even in his bad days, you were able to help him be more out in the open. Soon, Jimin became one of the popular kids and you were more than happy to see him in his true element.

You once introduced him to your acquaintance and captain of the dance team, Jung Hoseok. He happened to be the son of the owner of the dance studio you two often went to as well. Jimin was soon recruited.

It was as if everything felt right when he accepted Hoseok’s offer. He was more than ecstatic. You were very much just as happy as he is.

��Congrats, shorty! Treat me to Belle Vie today?”

“You can’t call me that if you’re shorter… And shouldn’t I be the one treated today?”

That was the start of his way up to the big leagues.

You were left at the bottom. Probably forgotten, left alone at square one.

You didn’t notice it immediately. Your daily trip to Belle vie turned into every other day, then it became twice a week, once a week, until there was none at all. You couldn’t blame your sweet Jimin though. He became much busier after he joined the dance team.

At the back of your mind, it was hard to admit that he became too busy for you.

It was hard, really, to ask Jimin to hang out for at least just a day and be turned down time and time again.

“Hey! Can we go to Belle Vie today?”

You already knew the answer when his face contorted into an uneasy grin, the way he averted his eyes and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“I… uhm… have practi—”

“Oh! ‘S alright, we can just go out on a later date,” you cut him off to save yourself an ounce of dignity and scurried away before he could make it more painful than it is.

The unlikely duo weren’t seen together anymore anywhere.

You still went on with your day though. You wanted to support your sweet best friend through every competition he had, every breakdown he cried for, every problem he harbored.

It was different this time, you two couldn’t deny it. From strangers to best friends, then back to strangers.

The feelings you long since had have grown into something you couldn’t ignore. Despite every embarrassing moment you experienced from being turned down, the way his smile grew bigger every time their team won had your heart swooning. This Jimin, admittedly now one of the most popular heartthrobs of your school, brought your tummy butterflies that won’t die down.

On your fifth friendship anniversary, you decided it was time you get Jimin for just a day. Heck, just an hour with him would suffice. It’s been long since you two were together and why not hang out on the day that started it all?

“Chim, let’s eat at Belle Vie today. I’m not taking no for an answer,” You huffed in faux confidence, momentarily ignoring that little voice in your head who taunted at you.

“Ah… what’s the occasion?”

Are you kidding me?!

“June 13th! It’s our friendship anniversary dummy,” You grinned hesitantly as your voice wavered.

You never thought you’d have to remind him of this date. It was the other way around! He would surprise you and treat you to Belle Vie because you two were friends!

“Alright… I’ll meet you there.”

There wasn’t as much enthusiasm in his voice as he had last year. It was now blatantly obvious he wanted nothing to do with you.

You figured it was time for your last resort, confessing to everything you’ve felt. Maybe this time… Maybe this time he’ll have a change of heart.

Rain poured down when afternoon came. The clouds were weeping at the loss of friendship. Or maybe it was long gone and you just realized it now and the clouds were sad for another reason…

The two of you were sitting in the same booth you first did, the one nearest to the window. You both ended up getting the same food you always bought. You found yourselves in the same predicament you first met— awkward, silent, and nervousness.

Everything was the same yet everything was different.

The Jimin in front of you now, for example, was strikingly different from the Jimin you met. But you were still the same ol’ Y/N he first met.

You were finally fed up with everything he had thrown your way. Every rejection he made you face, every embarrassing moment you had to endure, every ounce of pain you had to feel.

“What happened to us?” You whispered, looking at anything but this stranger in front of you.

He raised an eyebrow, “Us? What do you mean? Don’t get carried away, Y/N.”

“You were never like this to me, Jimin… You always went to me for everything… Now we don’t even t-talk,” You cried out weakly, too hurt to prevent anything from not being said.

“I’m not gonna be there at your every beck and call, Y/N! I’m not gonna be with you forever! You’re not even my girlfriend! God, how clingy can you get!?” Jimin harshly let out.

Your eyes widened as his remarks flowed into your head and repeatedly taunted you. Tears welled up in your eyes, unable to believe that this is the person you called your best friend.

“I… I can’t believe I like you,” Your face visibly cringed when you said that word. That specific word that wasn’t even enough to describe the immense love you had for this boy who had chosen to hurt you with his words.

It was out. The secret you had for so long is finally out.

Instead of anything welcoming, however, Jimin only mumbled a “what?” out of disbelief. Maybe he wasn’t hearing himself correctly.

This expression of his told you more than you needed to know. Despite the tears now flowing freely, you asked him softly.

“H-hey… Do you know what Belle Vie means?”

You were met with silence. He stared at you as you tried to salvage this piss-poor conversation.

“It means Beautiful Life… and I’m glad to have experienced that with you, Jimin…”

He didn’t say anything back, just a weak, “Goodbye.”

And there was nothing.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It was supposed to end on a somewhat lighter note. Laughter should’ve rang through the room by now from your remark, or at least a chuckle should’ve been heard from his lips as he denies your claim. He should’ve continued eating his pastries or at least change the topic to the song currently playing in Belle Vie.

There shouldn’t be silence. You shouldn’t hear the pitter patter of the rain outside from the cafe you’re in.

But it did.

Your longtime crush and now ex-friend walked out of the door, and with him left the five-year friendship you two built.

What a beautiful life, indeed.

permanent taglist: @luvinseokjinnie @97faerie @amoreguk

[seunqs]

[ a long get to know me tag ]

tagged by: losers @woosohn @yeonjuins

what day is your birthday?

27th june! it’ll be on a monday next year

what’s your favourite colour?

blue! a rather specific shade of light sky blue but i also like dark blue! might be misleading because everyone would think beige/black since that’s the aesthetic i like + almost everything i own is black...

what’s your lucky number?

i don’t have one i think but i tend to say 7 if i’m asked?

do you have any pets?

sadly no >:( will get one in the future idc idc

how tall are you?

158cm tiny i wna be abit taller

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

off my head i think 3 pairs...? just 2 black and 1 white that i rotate depending on the outfit i’m wearing

favorite song?

asdjekw i don’t think i have one specific one but recently i’ve been listening to maniac by nct doyoung & haechan!

other honourable mentions: a book of love by ha hyunsang, wide eyed blind by saint raymond, irreplaceable by nct dream, lmly by jackson wang. that’s all i have off my head

favorite movie?

surprisingly i’m not big on movies... but i’ll always answer parent trap when someone asks! why do i sound like i always have prepared answers in my head for various questions... okay that’s bc i do.

what would be your ideal partner?

@june look away i already know you’re gna say this sounds a lot like someone..

shy... is the main characteristics lmao idky it’s not even like i’m outgoing but i tend to find myself liking shy-er boys over the outgoing ones! aaa those with very obvious leadership qualities and quietly cares and looks out for those around them :’) tsundere! i think shy may appear cold sometimes but i’m rly :’) when the shy ones become very affectionate in private or when you get to know them better :’) or shy with strangers but very goofy and silly with their closer social circle heh those that are more cat-like than dog-like, only approaches you when they’re comfy. okay also shy but willing to speak up when necessary! doesn’t let themselves get bullied for being quiet and also pls speak up for me i hate ordering food pls do it for me HAHAHHA also if they’re passionate about something they like/are good at! good listeners too heh doesn’t need to always have the best advice, just if they would sit with me silently and listen to me and give me a hug afterwards :’’’’’) i think i’m on the touchier side too so if they don’t dislike that it’ll be nice! OH someone who’s good at cooking too bc i hate cooking and the kitchen in general.. i’ll do the dishes though HAHAHAH ok that is all there is a certain idol in my head that is the embodiment of my ideal type and i hate him >:(

do you want children?

no... not so much bc i don’t find them cute or i can’t handle them but i think it’s a commitment that scares me! bringing up the child well with the right character and values ajksdbwkje i don’t know if i’m up to that HAHAHAH

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

nope @woosohn @yeonjuins pls be proud of my direct no why are the two of you......... 

bath or shower?

shower! i don’t know if i’ve actually taken a bath before... probably when i was younger HAHAH i think i’ll get bored in the bath and i much rather be relaxing in bed than in the tub

what color socks are you wearing?

barefoot at the moment! the socks i own are mostly solid colour socks / simple cartoon or animal patterns but all ankle socks that can’t be seen with my shoes

favorite type of music?

i listen to pop, r&b and indie! that’s about all and favourite depends on the mood!

how many pillows do you sleep with?

just 1! and a bolster too

what position do you sleep in?

either on my back with hand over my head lmao or turned to either sides while hugging my bolster and face buried into the bolster

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?

when it’s too hot! canNOT sleep if the weather is too hot. also if i get woken up rudely, by screaming or someone smacking me awake LMAO just tell me nicely to get up and i’ll be out of bed in 10mins pls give me awhile my brain is turning on HAHAHA

what do you have for breakfast?

recently i haven’t woken up early enough for bfast or my family is just about to go out to buy lunch by the time i’m up hahaha but on the days that i’m alive for bfast, iced coffee and any pastry sitting in the fridge! my family is big on pastries like croissants and cakes like banana and carrot cakes! so one of those but the iced coffee is a constant in my first meal of the day

have you ever tried archery?

nope and idt i’ll be good at it tbh....

favorite fruit?

strawberries, apples, peaches! there are some seasonal favs where i rly like them for a period of time and then suddenly not anymore but these 3 are the constants

favorite swear word?

hahahaha i dont think i have a favourite one..... but i say tf a lot and mf for kpop boys who make me more flustered than they should

do you have any scars?

i don’t think so! i have a few stretch marks around my waist and tummy tho 

are you a good liar?

yes... HAHAH i used to get scolded so much for lying as a kid lmfao

what’s your personality type?

isfj-t has probably only dipped to isfp-t once but if not constant isfj!

what’s your favorite type of girl?

HAHAHAH uh.... okay with all kinds i think? except people in general who try too hard

innie or outie?

innie. was this question necessary tho AHHAHAHA

left or right-handed?

right-handed

favorite food?

ramen! but i like lots of food lmfao tiramisu, pork belly, lots of noodles, also lots of rice, beef, cakes, ice cream, i think i’m more salty > sweet!

favorite foreign food?

japanese ramen, korean cuisine!, lasagne

are you clean or messy?

clean

most used phrase?

i think alot of keyboard smashes, lmao, wtf, HAHAHAHHAHA, sigh, i’m tired LOL

how long does it take for you to get ready?

depends! fastest i think i can get out of the house 20mins after i’ve woken up. longest probably an hour where outfit is taking a while and accessories needs to be chosen

do you talk to yourself?

in my head yes.

do you sing to yourself?

not often but i sing out loud for the family to hear LOL in my head very often a song is playing up there

are you a good singer?

nop. i don’t think i’m a BAD singer but wouldn’t classify as good either HAHHAHA

biggest fear?

wow so many things but i think biggest is complete darkness, i need to see and know what is going on around me. i sleep with a night light on heh 

are you a gossip?

with closer friends yes def HAHAH my school culture tends to have lots of tea that my friends and i don’t like to get too involved in but we do talk about the gossips that goes around hahaha have also been in the center of gossip way too often

do you like long or short hair?

long! can’t imagine myself with short hair.. used to have reallllyyy long hair that goes beyond my waist and cried when i cut it to slightly below shoulder length. that’s the shortest i’ll ever go

favourite school subject?

wow nothing i don’t like school lmfao but humanities and language are way more bearable than math and sciences

extrovert or introvert?

introverted

what makes you nervous?

unpredictable situations, being alone in public (contradictory because in private i would strongly prefer to be alone but i don’t enjoy being alone in public i feel judged HAHAHA), also currently waiting on a reply for something and that’s been keeping me anxious the past 2 days :’)

who was your first real crush?

when i was 13/14, tablemate in school that was kinda shy and had very limited social circle but talked to me endlessly in class lmfao he apparently liked me too but we never dated and went to different schools at 16 y/o. we’re still kinda in touch though! we talked quite a fair bit last month just catching up but he’s more of an acquaintance now

how many piercings do you have?

2! just one normal lobe piercing on either ears, don’t think i’ll get anymore

how fast can you run?

back in school i used to be one of the fastest girls in my class LMFAO i could clock 12.5 minutes for a 2.4km run. stamina came from dancing since i had to run laps before dance class 2 times a week. but that is long in the past and now i get tired from climbing more than 4 flights of stairs pls spare me

what color is your hair?

naturally black but dyed brown! my hair has grown quite abit since i dyed it though now its black at the top and brown from above my ears onwards

what color are your eyes?

a very dark brown lmfao almost black

what makes you angry?

irresponsible people. just pushing responsibility to others or avoiding their responsibilities. don’t need you to do a good job with your responsibilities, just don’t make your issues my issues. and if its a shared responsibility like group projects, then do your part to contribute and don’t expect others to cover you

selfish people, in many ways. just being self-centred, not caring about how others feel, doing things for personal gain at the expense of others

speaking in a passive-aggressive/sarcastic manner. i say this even though i’m afraid of confrontation but i much rather someone outright tells me they’re unhappy about something or wants to get a point across. i hate when they talk about it sarcastically or tries to sugar-coat their words to make themselves look less aggressive about their words. tell me straight as it is, if you’re already gonna talk about something bad don’t piss me off with your attitude at the same time

do you like your own name?

rae is nice! has a very nice ring to it and looks pretty!

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

i don’t.. want one.. but both have their good and bad i can’t decide.. i want a puppy

what are your strengths?

is this an interview question i have had a few interviews over the past weeks i am well-prepared for this HAHAHA

i think i’m pretty resilient! i bounce back from bad times pretty quickly or i psycho myself to see the situation positively. but it is ofc coupled with a lot of complaining to the people around me first

although i hate unpredictable situations and having to quickly adapt to new settings, i think i adapt pretty quickly too. flexible? easy-going? idk what’s the right way to call it but yeah something along those lines. good at it but i still enjoy my stability and calm don’t want to have to quickly adapt to new situations.

what are your weaknesses?

very emotional HAHAH used to be much worse but i often let my emotions rule my head. i think i’ve improved A LOT though i used to be so bad but i think i’m now able to make rational decisions even if im bawling LMFAO

this sounds like a compliment but i’ve been told this too often as well. i tend to be way too nice to people who don’t deserve it. even if the person doesn’t deserve it or they’ve pushed all my buttons in the wrong way possible, i would still try to be as nice and polite as i can. really helps with me working in the f&b industry lmfao.

what’s the colour of your bedspread?

dark blue / grey! 

colour(s) of your room?

white & wood (throughout my house actually + green from the plants in the living room) @yeonjuins says i live in a muji showroom