#even though he doesn’t accept himself for being gay yet

[runninguplenorahills]

Just pointing out that Mike didn’t even technically join hellfire himself. Eddie straight up tells us that he saw Mike and Dustin (probably Lucas as well) sitting at an outsider table and knowing that They’ll be the future of hellfire. Eddie took them in so Mike didn’t even actively seek this. Wouldn’t be bad if he did though.

And something rather ironic is that the non-conformist club has a uniform lmao. The hellfire club members are still conforming, just not to societal standards. They’re confirming to Eddie’s standards. Mike is forcing himself to conform just as much in hellfire as he is anywhere else. Mike isn’t really finding himself again, he’s still very much trying to blend in with the crowd. Still trying to be normal and conform and overcompensating so much on that that he’s leaving his individuality behind. Mike is shapeshifting this season. He’s pretending. He is Not yet accepting himself at all. And I think his aversion to popularity is not so much about him not caring what others think of him, but actually exactly about what others already think of him and how he just tries to blend into the crowd that others have decided on being the place where he belongs (I have an unfinished post about this that’s been rotting in my drafts for months lmaoo).

One thing I see on bylertok way too much is people pointing out that even though Will told Mike it’s “not possible” that he’d ever join another party (replace Mike), Mike still went and joined Hellfire after he told Will to grow up and move on from D&D in S3 (which Will ended up doing)

It takes everything in me not to summarize the situation every single damn time I see someone mentioning it as if it’s proof that Mike ‘doesn’t deserve Will’ or something because it’s so frustrating that people just don’t understand anything about Mike and try and cling to any bit of ‘fault’ in his actions to justify why Byler wouldn’t work and why they don’t ship it

Because this whole ordeal had nothing to do with Mike and Will’s friendship, it was bought about in the first place by Mike and El’s ever incompatible relationship

Mike loves D&D, he loves writing, he loves being DM for the Party, he loves being with the Party. He never stopped loving these things, he stopped pursuing his interests because he was so over invested in being ‘normal’, which in his mind means ditching his friends for his girlfriend. El doesn’t like D&D, she doesn’t share Mike’s interests in his favourite things and because of that, Mike dropped all of it in favour of making out with El. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do in a relationship, and so that’s what he did

Of course, none of that is El’s fault either; El is learning the world and will eventually learn what she likes personally when she befriends Max whilst Mike is lost in juggling between what he should like vs. what he actually does like

All that is to say;

Mike dropped D&D because of El

(again, not El’s fault I’m not trying to blame her for anything it just is what it is)

So circling back to the “not possible” moment, I wanna point out that Mike’s insecurity in that moment specifically is Will leaving him emotionally because Will already is physically leaving and Mike blames himself. He’s mentioned himself obviously that he’s afraid of losing Will but he’s also made it clear many times. After their fight, Mike just wants to know that Will would still choose him and Will assures him that he wouldn’t be replacing Mike. Will placed no expectations on Mike when he said this, he just wanted to reassure Mike that they’re okay and that they’ll be okay which is exactly what Mike wanted

After Will and El left, Mike joined Hellfire because he could focus on doing the things he liked again without having to devote himself to being El’s boyfriend. I was happy for Mike to have D&D back when I first watched S4 and I know Will would be happy that Mike is finding himself again. And while we’re on the topic of Mike finding himself, since he’s joined Hellfire he’s started slowly accepting himself and accepting that he doesn’t care anymore if he fits into the standard or not. He doesn’t care about popularity or people liking him. He is growing and he’s been getting his character development

Anyway that’s all I just love analysing Mike it’s so interesting, but in this case I don’t think it even needs to be analysed. Mike isn’t himself around El and that’s got nothing to do with Will— that’s just Milevens relationship dynamic

[ender-cloud]

AHHHHGHHHHHH IM FREAKING OUTTT

tgs spoilers under cut

HOW ARE WE FEELING LANYDE NATION OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

I don’t know what to say that I didn’t say Last week but I’ll try my best because GOD THIS PAGE IS SO BEAUTIFUL

Hyde Crying, not from being upset, but from shock by how nice Lanyon is being. He has tried to make himself hate Lanyon and Avoid him for years and he thought that Lanyon hated him back .

Now as Lanyon says all of this he’s confused, its not exactly a bad confused, more of just wondering, In hydes mind he thinks that he’s so evil no one could ever like him, and then comes along Lanyon who Hyde thought he had a one sided Rivalry with is telling him how human he actually is.

“I tried to make you disappear” not only when Hyde and Jekyll were one in the same but with Hyde as well, trying to ignore is existence, not thinking he’s real, and when it was revealed that they were the same, he tried to out cast Hyde as the villain.

Now Lanyon has taken the time too think it over, seeing Hyde in a vulnerable position made him realize what he loved about Jekyll, the part that was affectionate but stubborn as hell and was so desperate to know and see through him. The part that understood him a little to much.

This isnt to say he doesn’t love Jekyll, he Fell in love with both parts of him, Hyde and Jekyll, he fell in love with all parts and is just now seeing them as both different yet the same at the same time, he’s accepting it.

Also Hyde pulling away from Lanyon, pulling away from the unconditional love and Affection that he dosent think he deserves AGSGHAHSHE IM NOT OK

“The first part I fell in love with” AGHSHAGAIEHWGAJSHWYHAHSHSUEHEYIAHSHEHWHAYEY

He still fell in love with some parts of Jekyll, but the first signs he knew he might feel something towards Jekyll were given to him from Hyde.

Hyde, denial is a river in Egypt man, just accept Lanyon

AND THEN WE GET TO THIS BEAUTIFUL PICTURE ITS SO PRETTY!!!

Sigh, gay people make me feel so single 😔 it happens every time.

I feel like they will Kiss and then we’ll go back to Jasper in the lodgers, BUT! Hear me out, to our knowledge Jekyll is gone, but we don’t know if he can still hear things or not. It probably wont happen but I would imagine him being really Jealous at this moment, and if anything was to bring him back it would be this.

Even if this happens though, I dont think it was Lanyons intention, I think he genuinely has realized and has had the revelation that he loves Hyde more than Jekyll, which would make it such an intriguing story to witness. If it was to happen I wonder if Lanyon would just be shocked, I really dont think he’s trying to play with Hydes emotions, after realizing that Hyde is so human and is what he fell in love with.

If Lanyon is leading Hyde on I will cry bro, Hyde is finally letting his guard down, relaxing and feeling like he belongs with someone, also thinking of all this development of realizing all of this being fake isnt nice 😔

That was shorter than most but I was just really happy and I had fun.

[lillaydee]

The Unlucky One Part 9

Joel Miller (No Outbreak AU) / F Reader

When it comes to love, Lady Luck seems to have lost your address. After being left at the altar without so much of an explanation, you decided love is no longer something you are interested in. Not even meeting an unlucky-in-love-himself Mr. Grump could change your mind.

Right?

Let me know if you want to be tagged, or if you want to be removed from the tag list.

WARNINGS: Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Grumpy Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Idiots in Love, unlucky in love, Child Abandonment, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us)

@peelieblue, @vickie5446, @harriedandharassed, @lovefreylove @martuxduckling @kikookii @liciafonseca @wowitsafemale

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 8

---

It was as if time froze. There, standing in front of your door, was the woman who birthed you, the one who made your entire existence unbearable, the one you had not seen in five years, on purpose. And next to her, was her chosen daughter, the one she got just to prove how worthless you were, the one she had raised to hate you, to take everything from you, the one who did take everything from you.

Something was not right though. Your mother had that snide smile you always saw on her, but Nell… she seemed… off. Tired, perhaps?

Your mother made to step into the threshold, but Joel, upon realizing who they were, body blocked the door, telling them they were not welcomed at your house. His expression changed as he did so, cringing a little, before fixing it and starting to close the door.

“I am her mother, I have every right to be here. Who are you to decide whether or not I can see my own daughter?”

“Doesn’t matter who I am. I know all about you, Esther. You are not welcomed here. Ever. Now, leave, before I call the cops and have you trespassed.”

“Oh, are you her boyfriend? Wow, Aria, you move quickly! What was it, three months? Since you got unceremoniously dumped at the altar? You managed to turn off yet another man from committing to you, and now you’ve snagged up another one to turn away? Are you looking for another man to turn gay? What, two wasn’t enough for you?”

It was as if you were stuck in some unbelievably dense fog, you couldn’t see, you couldn’t hear anything else but her. All the insecurities you had about the men you had been involved with romantically came rushing back. Suddenly your fuck all attitude about Joel seconds ago disappeared, one of caution took its place – what if he left you too?

Joel turned around and looked you straight in the eyes. But instead of the sharp daggers he had given your mother, one that was soft, assuring, landed on you instead. Suddenly, those doubts disappeared. You now just felt tired, and extremely unwilling to entertain your mother’s antiques. You had been without for five whole years, you were not going to let her do this to you again.

You gently pushed Joel aside, telling him you had this. He took a step back, took his phone out and called someone, telling them to get there as soon as possible. As you neared the door, his cringing expression from earlier made sense.

There was a foul stench coming from your mother and adopted sister, enough to make your body recoil. You drew back, shocked at what you were smelling. Nell kept her head down, hands clasped together, avoiding your eyes at all costs. It was so strange. Where was the prideful, snide, smirking little girl who kept telling you she won all those years ago? Your eyes suddenly landed on what they had near their feet. Suitcases.

For some reason, your mother took your taking over as a sign that you’d be accepting of her presence, and began picking up the suitcases, one foot into your house.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your expression stern, unfeeling, stepping back forward, causing her to retreat, stumbling a little as the suitcase bumped against her legs.

“I’m coming inside. I haven’t seen you in years.”

“Yeah, that was on purpose. I have no intention of letting you in, I don’t know what made you think I would, but you are wrong. Get off my stoop, mother, or I will call the cops.”

“Hmph… you dare stop me from coming into my own house? The one you bought with my inheritance?”

“Gramps left me his estate, mother, not you. You fought for it and lost, remember? You ignored my presence my entire life, you even said you wished you had aborted me. So why are you here? Ran out of money?”

“Where is he, Aria?”

“Where is who, mother?”

“Eric. I know you know where he is. That man owed Nell four years’ worth of child support. I know you are in touch with him. I know you talked him into leaving my poor baby to raise their child alone. Where is he?”

You made a show of looking around, asking her instead where this supposed child was. Surely, if she cared that much, the child would be here? Nell’s head got lower. What was going on with her?

Your mother’s face was beet red, looking as if she was about to implode. Footsteps came rushing towards your house, Maria, Tess and Tommy came barging in, further blocking the two from coming in, standing in front of you, Maria nudging your mother out of the way.

“Holy fucking hell, what’s with the BO ladies?” Tess exclaimed, hand up to her nose, face crumpled from the smell emanating from the two. Tommy brought his arm up to cover his nose too.

“Not all of us have the luxury of a daily shower, okay? Especially when our inheritance was stolen right from under us! Must be nice, Aria, to be living like you do, to be able to just up and leave, buying houses and going on fancy vacations on a whim. How do you sleep at night, knowing you did all this with stolen money, huh?” you mother snarked, the stench becoming so much thicker as she spat on all of you. She opened her mouth further, wanting to say more, but Maria’s voice piped up.

“Esther, if you don’t leave right now, I will go scorched earth on you. I am close personal friends with the DA, the chief of police has weekly lunch with me, the judge is married to my boss. I can get the all the cops in Austin here within minutes if I choose to. You might want to get your sorry, stinky ass away from my best friend right now before I go all Hail Mary on you. You may have been able to get away with bullying Aria all this while because thanks to Bill and Frank and your parents, she grew up to be the sweetest, most trusting human being alive, but guess what? I am not. I have zero qualms rearranging your face. So think how you want to proceed, Esther, you have five seconds to decide. Five.”

Your mother’s defensive expression faltered for a split second, but she picked herself up and began pushing Maria out of the way. Tess stepped up.

“Woman, I grew up with these two big strapping lads right here. I was a scrawny kid. Ask them how many times I beat their asses into submission? I can take them, I can take you, no problem. I survived domestic violence, I can survive you. Maria, your connections could keep me out of jail, right?”

“Any day, sister. Four.”

You felt Joel’s presence behind you even before he placed his arms around you, kissing the back of your head as he did. Nell looked at his arms around your waist with what you could only decipher as longing eyes, before clocking your eyes on hers, looking back down at her feet.

“Three.”

Your mother huffed, picking up the suitcase and pulling Nell by the arm, the latter picking up her own suitcase meekly, following your mother silently.

**********

Tommy shut the door as Joel engulfed you in a hug. Tess had gone back to Sarah, who was sternly instructed to hide under her bed during the confrontation. You couldn’t stop crying. It was as if your bravery during those few dreadful minutes simply escaped your body the moment they left and fear took over. Joel held you tight, whispering it’s okay, they’re gone, you’re safe, over and over, lips firmly on your temple as your body convulsed from your sobs.

“I didn’t know you knew the DA and had weekly lunches with the chief of police. And I thought your boss was a single gay woman, isn’t the judge a man?” Tommy asked.

“I don’t, she is, and he is. But they didn’t need to know that,” Maria answered, the words easy, just gliding off her tongue. You couldn’t help but burst into laughter, even if your heart was still hammering from fear, so thankful that your best friend was the lying badass that she was.

An urgent knock on your door rattled you back into silence, only to be subdued when Kyle’s urgent voice called your name. Maria had called him as soon as Joel called. He and Ethan came in as soon as Tommy opened the door, asking if everything was alright, panic clearly all over their features.

“How did they know where you are?” Ethan asked as the five of you settled down, you with a large glass of whiskey in your hands. Your mind going to that man you kept seeing.

“I think I am being followed,” you said with a small voice.

“What?” Joel sat up, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I wasn’t sure. But I kept seeing him around. He wasn’t watching me or anything, so I thought I was overreacting. I just felt silly telling you.”

“The next time you see him, tell me immediately. And you are not going anywhere alone. One of us will keep you company.”

“Excuse me?” you bristled, the whiskey making you forget that mere minutes ago, you were practically shaking out of fear in his arms. “Who are you to tell me what I can or cannot do? Contrary to what my mother thought, Miller, you are not my boyfriend. And even if you were, what right does that give you to control me or my movements?”

The room was deadly quiet. You looked around, expecting someone, namely Maria, to back you up. Show Joel he was being unreasonable. But no one did. You looked at Maria, silently telling her to say something. But she just took a deep breath, telling you Joel was right.

“Babes, a man followed you, and the next thing you knew your mother and sister appeared on your doorstep. He’s right. Look, I’m all for girl power, independent women and all that, but this sounds dangerous.”

“I’m gonna come here for work, okay? I’ll set up here in the living room. You can stay in your office,” Ethan said, rubbing his now cast-free leg from the soreness of running out of the house and towards your door earlier.

“I’ll come by for lunch, bring food,” Kyle added.

“We’ll bring dinner,” Tommy said, Maria nodding, “We’ll just have dinner here, bring Sarah along,” he went on, Joel nodding along as well.

“I’ll stay here with you at night, don’t like the idea of you being alone,” Maria concluded.

You couldn’t believe it. These people were ganging up on you. As if you couldn’t take care of yourself? They went on discussing how they could ensure your safety amongst themselves as if you weren’t there. You went into your kitchen, threw back the rest of the whiskey, pouring yourself another, downing that one too. One more for good measure, you thought, as you tipped back the third one. Your buzz quickly turned into a fog, and the voices of the meddling people began to sound like mumbles. Good. You wanted to drown their possessive and misogynistic chatter. You know what, one more. Why the fuck not? Maybe the mumbles would turn into silence. You were in the midst of taking the fourth pour when Joel’s gentle hand stopped you, taking the glass away from yours.

“I think you’ve had enough for the night,” he said, placing the glass on the counter.

“Oh, fuck you, Miller,” you retaliated, turning around to face him.

Damn, he’s tall. And so solid. And smelled so good, the planned chastising you wanted to give him went flying out of your head the longer you stared at him. Fuck, he’s so handsome. And he was so good in bed. And the best kisser. The best sex you’d ever had, too. Oh… you could just kiss him and see where the leaves fall. You were about to kiss anyway, before you were so rudely interrupted by your mother, you would have been a few orgasms in by now, if memory served.

But your thoughts were shut down when he lifted you up and brought you upstairs, carefully placing you on your bed. You remembered him stroking your hair before leaving, and all was dark.

**********

You woke up with the worst hangover you’d ever woken up with in your life. Shit. That was all it took for you to get this hungover? Your mind wanted to shout at yourself for being such a lightweight, but every thought that came to your head thumped on your brain as if they were a jackhammer. You turned away from the window, a bottle of water with a post it note coming into sight. Take us, the note said, your eyes clocking the two Tylenols next to the bottle. Moving as slowly as you could, you pushed yourself into a sitting position, your brain wobbling dangerously in your obviously too large skull, and took the pills, washing them down with three quarters of the bottle at one go.

You got up to pee, almost falling headlong into your bathroom door tripping over something. You looked down.

Oh, not something, someone.

Joel.

He was sleeping on the floor next to your bed, curled up from the lack of blankets or pillows. He woke up when you tripped over him, hand immediately out to stop you from falling.

What the fuck was he doing sleeping on your bedroom floor?

But your bladder was screaming, so you went into the bathroom to take care of your morning needs, coming back out to him sitting on your bed, hands on his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

You sat next to him, eyes still squinting from the hangover. “Why did you sleep here?”

He looked at you, a smile on his lips. “You asked me to.”

“I did?”

He nodded.

“Well, why did you sleep on the floor? Not like we haven’t shared a bed before,” you were blushing, and you didn’t know why.

“You were out of it. Didn’t trust myself not to take advantage,” he said, a cheeky smile forming on his sleep riddled face. You laughed, smacking him on his arm, before putting your hands on your head. That dangerous wobbly feeling in your head, although lessened, was back, and it’s making you cringe.

“Plus, I didn’t want you to wake up alone. You okay?” he asked, pulling you gently into a side hug, lips landing on your temple.

“Hungover, but I’m alright.”

“I’ll make you something to eat okay? Let me just use the bathroom.”

“Okay. Spare toothbrush in the drawer,” you said, as he helped you up, pulling you into a full on hug. “Thank you for staying.”

“Of course,” he said, kissing your hairline, before disappearing into the bathroom.

You stepped out of your bedroom to a smell of coffee brewing, sounds of cooking and smells of eggs and bacon filling your senses. Maria must’ve stayed over, you thought. Bless her for cooking. You were starving. You went downstairs, careful in your steps, trying to minimize the brain wobble as much as you could, turning into your kitchen.

An older woman you had never seen before was cooking in your kitchen.

You screamed your head off, hangover brain wobble be darned, reaching out for the nearest weapon, making the woman jump. Sounds of doors opening and running footsteps came thundering down, Maria and Joel appearing by your side within seconds.

Joel relaxed when he realized who it was, telling you it was alright, before going over to the now smiling woman, kissing her on the cheek. “Hi Mama.”

Mama?

Oh shit.

You could feel Maria freeze alongside you. The lady took a once over of the both of you.

“Good morning ladies. I’m Anita Miller. And you two must be the women making my boys so happy these days. Breakfast anyone?”

**********

Maria ran back upstairs, mumbling something about getting dressed. It was only then you realized she was in a tank top and panties, having run out when she heard you scream.

You did not dare move. Still standing stock still where you were, trying hard to make sense of what was happening, your head thundering with blood from your own scream. Joel appeared next to you, a coffee mug in his hand, gently guiding you to the kitchen island, placing the cup in front of you before coaxing the flimsy plastic hand fan you had grabbed as a weapon of choice out of your hand.

Anita placed a plate of food next to your mug, sitting across from you. You stared at the plate as if it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen in your life.

Joel joined the two of you after a few minutes, placing plates of food in front of his Mama, next to her and in front of himself, taking the seat next to you, pushing your own nearer to you, silently asking you to eat.

“I’m sorry, Mrs Miller, for screaming and trying to attack you,” you mumbled, not daring to look up.

“Oh, that plastic fan would’ve slit my throat, I’m sure,” she said, a glint in her eyes meeting you as you finally looked up. She took a deep breath when she saw a small smile on your face, “And please, call me Anita. Tess told me what happened, are you okay honey?”

You nodded, suddenly mortified that the first time you were meeting Joel’s Mama was when you were experiencing the worst hangover of your life. Maria came back down, dressed, and clearly freshened up, taking her seat next to Anita. She introduced herself properly to her, which then reminded you that you hadn’t in fact, done so. The four of you began to eat in near silence after that, until Anita remarked on the great coffee.

“It’s from Bali,” Maria said, “They call it Kopi Luwak.”

“Oh, so this is the shit coffee!” Anita remarked, causing Joel to splutter, spraying coffee everywhere.

After that, it was as if you had known Anita forever. She had heard the story of Joel’s near demise upon finding out the origins of the coffee, taking great pleasure in asking you to repeat the story from your point of view, Joel steadily growing redder and redder next to you as he ate his breakfast. It didn’t help that she repeated your version of the story to Tess and Tommy as when they brought Sarah over, Sarah proceeding to walk around with her fingers on her cute little nose when she’d heard about the coffee.

Your breakfast was interrupted by your phone ringing – your Dad on the other side, worried out of his mind that you hadn’t responded to any of his texts or calls. You had to explain to him what happened, him finding out from Kyle, Ethan or Maria would’ve been disastrous for you. He flipped out nonetheless, immediately started talking about moving weeks sooner than expected. Took some coaxing, but he managed to breathe a bit easier when you told him you had an entire village looking out for you, just as Kyle and Ethan walked in, pastries in hands.

And then your Dad told Frank what had happened, and the coaxing had to be repeated. Frank insisted on speaking to Joel, and you had to stand beside him as he told Frank that he and Tommy were ‘already on it’, and that it should be done soon. You asked him what that was about, only for him to kiss you on your nose, telling you not to worry about it. He and Tommy needed to go out for a bit, you’ll be okay with everyone else right?

You looked at your very full kitchen, where people who were not related to you by blood at all were gathered, all there to make sure you were alright after the revelation of last night and told him you would be.

You spent the rest of that day getting to know Anita better. She was charming and bubbly, someone who took no time at all warming up to people she had just met. She told you she had been away visiting some relatives in another state, but she usually came over to spend time with Sarah every weekend. She came in last night, apparently, when you were long gone from those four stupid glasses of whiskey you’d decided was a great idea.

She decided she would stay once she heard the report from Tommy. She openly asked Kyle to tell her everything about your mother, so she could be prepared, just in case. And boy oh boy, did he tell her. He told her everything he knew about your mother. Heck, he had known the woman since he was a child. He did, after all, grow up with you. The whole town knew about your mother. It was an open secret that she treated you badly. The only consolation was that she never laid a hand on you, and that was only because she knew your Grandpa was steadfastly on your side. When the story got to the bit where you went off to college, Maria started filling in, remembering all those break ups and heart breaks you endured from your mother and Nell’s doing, and when the story got to Eric…

Well, let’s just say, if her face was anything to go by, whatever she was thinking really shouldn’t be written out on a fanfiction on an open internet forum.

Oddly, you just stood by, never once interrupting or bothering to defend your mother. You remembered doing so with Andrew when you started dating, telling him that she was just stressed, that she was angry at the world, that she was just acting out. Now though, it was as if whatever love you had for her and Nell, whatever hopes you may have held out for, had completely dissipated. Being without them these five years really made you realize how much better off you were without them. And you would really like to keep it that way.

You only started speaking again when Andrew came into the picture. Her expression softened when you got to Bali, taking your hand and Maria’s into hers, telling you she was glad someone bought the four of you drinks that first night. When she hugged you, you felt something different, but couldn’t quite put a finger to it.

She recruited you and Maria into making lunch with her, brushing your concerns of being extremely talented at burning toast off. Joel and Tommy returned when lunch was about to be served. When asked where he went, he said you will find out the next day.

He stayed with you again that night, after tucking Sarah in. This time, he slept on the bed with you, offering to create a wall of pillows between the two of you. You agreed, but miraculously, you woke up in his arms, that wall of pillows forgotten on the floor.

The next day, you woke up to strange men gathering outside your house, Joel and Tommy giving them instructions as the men took notes. You went outside, bleary eyed, asking him what was going on.

A security system, he said. He was under strict instructions from your Dad to get one set up at your house. He and Tommy had called in a favour with some of their friends, they came out on a Sunday just for you. You were about to retaliate when he told you it was either the security system, or your dads would rent out their newly bought house and move in with you, pool and all.

That shut you up really quickly.

As Tommy continued with the security people, Joel pulled you aside. “Are you okay with all this? If you’re feeling overwhelmed…”

“No, I mean, it is a little overwhelming, but I get it. I can see you doing the same for Sarah.”

He nodded, “Within a heartbeat,” he said. “And us coming over, crowding you, my Mama, me, sleeping over…”

“No,” you said, a little too quickly. “I like you guys being here. I understand if you would rather go back home, though, I mean, we haven’t really decided on anything,” you looked down, worried that he might no longer be interested with all the drama and going-ons in your life.

“Nope. You are not going to scare me off, Aria. I want it all with you. I’m serious.”

He leaned in, caging you against the wall of your house, his face so close to your own, eyes darting to your lips. He leaned in further, and you closed your eyes in anticipation. Who cares if the security people can see you, right?

“Yoo Hoo! Good morning!” a chirpy voice jolted the two of you out of your early morning fantasies. Lucy came running towards the two of you, that cheery smile on her face, a huge paper bag in her hands.

Joel huffed a deep breath as he straightened, giving your cheek a chaste kiss, telling you he should get back to work. He walked away just as Lucy approached, going towards your front door. You straightened up to get whatever it was Lucy was bringing over, only for her to turn and beeline towards Joel instead, calling out his name.

He stopped, shoulders stiff, before turning around.

“I brought you some pastries,” she said, “I was bringing some to a friend and thought you and Sarah might want some, hi Sarah!” she called out with a smile and a wave to the little girl who had just walked out her front door, Anita in tow. Sarah raised her arms at you as she got near you, telling you she wanted to go out back and see Pa’s flowers.

Lucy walked over, wanting to say hi to Sarah properly, but the little girl told you one more time that she wanted to go see Pa’s flowers. So you started walking off, Anita following you.

“Hi,” Lucy called out to Anita, “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Lucy, Joel’s friend. I teach at Sarah’s school,” she explained. Anita smiled, telling her it was nice to meet her.

“Gamma,” Sarah called out, “Pa’s flowers. I want to show you!”

Anita smiled at Lucy, turning to go with you.

“Oh, are you Joel’s mother? It’s so nice to meet you!” she exclaimed, surging forward to give Anita a hug, startling the older lady. Anita eyed Joel from the corner of her eyes, pulling back, telling Lucy one more time it was nice to meet her, but she really must go now, her granddaughter needed her.

“Oh, I’ll come with you, I’m dying to see this Pa’s flowers she’s so excited about,” Lucy said, merrily taking Anita by the arm and following you to the backyard.

Sarah climbed down from you as soon as you got to the backyard, running inside through the kitchen door. “Wait, what happened to Pa’s flowers?” you asked.

“No!” she yelled back, slamming the door behind her.

Joel came out that same door, telling Lucy she’d best be off, there was a lot going on.

“Oh, can I help?” she asked, that same smile still on her lips.

“No, we’ve got it,” Anita said, pulling your hand to go inside.

“Oh, okay, it was nice to meet you!” she chirped, bounding over to Joel, giving him the paper bag, rubbing his arm before disappearing to the front the same way you came.

“Well,” Anita said, “Is she always that… happy?” looking like she chose that word very, very carefully.

You shrugged. Joel looked like he was about to say something but Tommy called out from the front door.

You went outside, only to be met with your mother and Nell, yet again. Joel and Tommy ran outside, Tess and Maria quickly following.

“Aria,” your mother started, her voice stern, eyeing all the people behind you. “Kindly tell your dogs to back off. I need to speak to you. And only you.”

“Oh no you don’t,” a fierce voice piped out from behind you, Anita coming out the front door.

Your mother rolled her eyes. “Who is this now? Another one of your dogs?”

Anita walked over to your mother, eyeing her up and down. Sarah came running out and hugged your leg. “No! Leave Aya alone! I don’t like you!” she yelled.

“Oh, wonderful. Now she’s got children fighting her battles for her,” your mother said, turning to Nell.

Nell was still subdued. She eyed Sarah, a shockingly soft look on her eyes at the sight of the little girl. You couldn’t figure it out. Her silence was so out of character. She was usually egging your mother on. What was it? Maturity?

“Aria!” your mother barked. “Talk. Alone. Now!” she persisted, starting towards you.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Anita said, stepping in front of your mother.

“Get out of my way. I need to speak to my daughter!” you mother screamed.

“Your daughter?” Anita queried, incredulity in her tone. “From what I’ve heard, you’re her egg donor, at best. Maybe the woman who birthed her. But you’re no mother to her. You made her life miserable and you,” she barked at Nell, who visibly flinched, “You happily supported your mother’s tortures on her. I despise women like you, Esther, I despise women who gave birth and abandoned their children.”

“I did no such…”

“You may not have kicked her out of the house, but you abandoned her. Every good thing she has in her bones did not come from you. Leave, now. Before I make you. Try me. See what happens,” Anita warned, taking a step forwards, folding her sleeves up her arms, her expression fierce, taking one more step, causing your mother to shrink back.  

“You won’t have them around forever, Aria. You’d better watch your back. I’ll come back, and I’ll get what’s mine if it’s the last thing I do, you just wait!” she threatened, before barking at Nell to come with her. They climbed into a van parked behind the security guys’ truck and drove off.

When the van disappeared from view, Anita turned around and enveloped you into a tight hug.

It was then you realized what was so different about her hugs, the ones she had been giving you since you met her for the first time the day before, ones that made you feel something different that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

It was a mother’s hug.

You had met Eric’s mother, but she wasn’t the warmest, considering your first meeting was when you drove out to talk her into supporting Eric after the whole Nell debacle. She had shouted profanities at you, calling you an enabler.

The only motherly figure you’d ever had in your life was your Grandma, and she passed when you were still quite young. Andrew’s mother was kind to you, but her hugs for you were shallow, you now noticed, unlike the warm ones she used to give his sister. You knew right then and there you were so starved of a mother’s love you didn’t know any better. But right now, as Anita Miller held you in her arms, you realized that the last time you felt a hug like this was the night your Grandma passed in her sleep, as she tucked you good night for the final time.

You sobbed into her arms that day, as she comforted you, rubbing your back, whispering that everything will be alright. So you kept on sobbing into this wonderful woman’s arms, a woman who had just met you, but in just a day, had made you feel more welcomed than your own mother ever did.

**********

Monday came, and the swarm of people in your house was reduced to you, Ethan and Anita, the older lady insisting on coming over just in case your mother came back. Joel stayed over again, even offering to stay for the day. You told him he didn’t need to, you would be alright. The security people were coming over the next day to install your new security system, you’d be okay. Ethan was there, so was Anita, and Kyle was on the road, so he could come running if need be.

You did some work in your office, Ethan in your living room as planned. Anita was in the garden tending to your flowers, which you had no idea how to maintain. You were wrapping up a Zoom call when you heard the sounds of an engine and a rushed scuffle going on out front. You quickly finished the call, getting up to see what was going on, and the blood in your veins froze.  

The van your mother and Nell had driven away in yesterday was in front of your house, engine on, your sister running back to it, getting in and driving away. You didn’t see your mother. You ran downstairs, calling out to Ethan and Anita. Ethan came running out of the bathroom as you swung the front door open.

A little girl was standing on your porch, a garbage bag next to her, a piece of paper in her hands. She handed you the paper.

“I can’t do it anymore, Aria. Please take good care of her. I’m sorry. Nell.”

Ethan and Anita went out to the road, scanning for the van. It was gone.

You kneeled in front of the little girl. She was emaciated. Dirty. She didn’t look scared. More… resigned.

“What’s your name, sweetie?”

“Ellie.”

---

Part 10

[afinestoutlove]

things i love about heartstopper 11/?

Isaac Henderson. I love this boy so fucking much. He's sweet, he's funny, he's thoughtful, he's stylish, he's kind... He's a goddamn delight and also all the feels. (Tobie Donovan is SO GOOD you guys!!?)

The moment in ‘Truth/Dare’ where he comes back into the party? Those tears? Then when he’s on the balcony alone?

The times he opens a book in S2 and S3 but ends up ruffling the pages because he can’t read it?

His face when he’s gazing up at the art in ‘Sorry’ and seeing himself? My heart!

Then when he's watching Tori and Michael (two more characters I could rant about forever) in 'Apart'?? Just inject that shit into my veins.

"I know they would be [supportive about being aro/ace]. I just can't be bothered to give everyone a vocab lesson." ('Love') So goddamn real. Even knowing all your friends would be there for you, having to explain yourself is isolating. (Side note, I love that Charlie does go home and google what aromantic means and lets Isaac know.)

Realising you’re gay or bi or pan or trans is hard. But realising you’re on the ace spectrum is a whole different type of hard. It's so invisible even now. Even his friends who are accepting and loving keep making him feel excluded without ever realising, because they never consider that this is something they should account for. A lot of us find so much safety in queer spaces because people know us (or parts of us) without us having to educate them, but for ace/aro/demi people, even really welcoming queer spaces can be as isolating as cishetero ones. (Side note, it can be a very odd experience having part of yourself feel so seen in queer spaces, while another is still invisible.)

“It changes everything I thought I knew about myself. And about my life and my future.” ('Talk')

It’s so true, and such a gut punch. I think most queer people have a moment like this when we're figuring out who we are, but for aro/ace/demi people there's still not many visible potentials. For gay/bi/queer people, we have visible queer relationships to look to. For trans people, we have visible trans people to look to. NB folk are closer in experience to aro/ace, but even there, we see more representation even a few decades ago. And these are all things that are visible in our local queer spaces in a way ace/aro/demi people's experiences aren't - they're mostly seen as "just single", as "not yets". Our community haven't learnt to see something else yet. Isaac's story is so fucking important and he’s such a beautiful character and I love him so much. (Also Tori is so great for this, but she needs her own post!)

Isaac is also courageous and principled. Lecturing Harry Greene on basic human empathy under the Eiffel Tower?? Iconic.

Bonus points for all the ways he’s the sweetest human. He knows Charlie isn’t okay and he’s trying his best to be there for him, even though Charlie can't accept it. “You said you were okay and I guess you just lied. I mean, I kind of knew that" ('Journey' - didn't check the exact quote sssh). Ugh, ugly crying.

Luckily it doesn’t hurt all the time either. His humour is tragically underrated imho. In no specific order:

*kicks over the monopoly board to end an argument without even opening his eyes* "Oh, whoops."

“They’re just in the honeymoon phase.” “It’s not like they’re even dating.” “Unless they are.”

His completely unsubtle smirk when he’s delivering antiseptic wipes.

"Ooh I might have been asleep...!"

“No, I want all the details!”

I would watch a whole series about him and his side eye and his adorable smile I love him.

[kosmicdream]

now for the NRD character sexualities! which this list is thankfully a lot shorter.

Gaueko - gay gay homesexual gay. Top-leaning switch but isn’t totally opposed to mixing that up for the right person. Will flirt with women in the chance that might crack their egg, which has happened more than once. His preference is other trans men.

Inside!Welt - gay as well what a shock, top-leaning switch but gaueko knew how to press the right buttons so he usually was the sub in their dynamic (although he hates to admit that.) Despite being gay, he was completely willing to hetero it up for Kamila. 

Inside!Kamila - attracted to men.. Still working on accepting his trans-ness and what that means, but he doesn’t quite feel he can call himself a gay man yet. 100% a sub at least at this point, and probably always will lean that way even if he gets more comfortable with himself. 

Dr Sugar - 100% a monster fucker for sure. If you cant violently kill him he isn’t interested, which is why his husband is perfect for him.

Nicky - he’s attracted to cute mortal humans he can scare, if he wasn’t deeply in love with his husband - Kamila would totally be his type. If he met him that is.

Laggard - he’s a dog.. I mean i know that probably doesnt count, but he doesnt really know what gender or sexuality means. He is a necrophile though, for sure. 

Teddy - he was pretty sure he was straight? But.. uh, he’s not sure anymore. please DONT ask him about this.

Outside!Kamila - closetted transguy but on demon HRT which is making trying to just survive even worse. 

Outside!Welt - just a dog idk. Once again, not something that really matters. Is still a FATHER and trans for sure tho. Even as a dog.

BlueDemon!Kamila - a mystery at this point, but probably is also the same as inner/outside kamila. loves to cause drama, that's for sure.

Marrow - Transman, but kind of a little agender. Was willing to do basically anything to his body, to other bodies, for the purpose of magic, even with extreme taboos. Now, he is almost entirely a wooden mannequin without any genitals. He was more into intense hate-coded rivalry than traditional “romance”, however he did deeply fall in love with the mysterious “Karm”.. That didn’t exactly pan out in a healthy way either. Definitely an extreme person, no matter what facet of his life.

Hubert - he's just a walking dresser at this point, but.. i mean, he probably does derive a bit of sexual pleasure from doing chores or watching someone else fold laundry and do a proper job at it. its a bit creepy but that's all he has anymore, come on. at least he isnt the toilet.

[paperstorm]

The argument/make-up in 2x04 is really one of my favourite Tarlos stories because I just love when conflict in fiction is the direct result of two people’s individual traumas bumping up against each other, rather than someone being a villain.

Both of them in this episode are coming from a place of having a large trauma in their past that the other doesn’t know all the details of. Carlos hasn’t told TK anything, at this point, about how his coming out went and how much pain he is in every single day because he feels like his parents don’t fully accept him being gay. He avoids the topic of his parents at Owen’s party when TK brings it up because he’s in a honeymoon phase with TK and he’s never had that before with anyone. He believes – like he says at the end when they make up – that he might never be able to have a real relationship. And he does likely know that at some point they’ll have to discuss his parents but he has never been as happy with anyone as he is with TK (insert season four context of he felt broken until the day they met) and he isn’t ready just yet for the dreamy bubble they’re in to be burst by reality.

So he deflects, in what will become a signature personality trait of Carlos’s – chronic avoidance and making jokes to get out of conversations he isn't ready to have. And then by accident they run into Gabriel and Andrea, and Carlos, still not ready to do this, panics and introduces TK as his friend. He knows he shouldn’t have done that, but trauma, so he acts like he doesn’t understand why TK is upset and he makes a joke out of it. He’s been anxious this whole time about how TK, who is so out and loud and proud, is going to react when he finds out Carlos is still half in the closet, and this is the very reaction he was so afraid of and why he avoided it for so long.

None of it is done with malintent, it’s all self-preservation and learned coping mechanisms from things in his past that have left such deep scars, but TK doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.

TK, meanwhile, is still pretty fresh off of getting his heart broken so badly that he tried to kill himself. He went to Austin in a truly horrendous state of pain and trauma and heartache. He wasn’t planning on meeting his soulmate so soon, he wasn’t ready to meet his soulmate because of how much his heart was still in tatters, which is why we get him being so wishy-washy in season one. By early season two he’s also very much in that honeymoon phase, but that doesn’t mean his wounds are fully healed yet. He asks Carlos about his parents, it feels implied in the party scene that it isn’t the first time he’s asking about them. He’s given Carlos the opportunity to have the conversation that they need to have, but Carlos has changed the subject.

Then they run into them. TK is so happy to meet them, and then so instantly crushed when Carlos introduces him as a friend. He’s upset all the way home, and Carlos – for reasons TK doesn’t understand yet – is acting like it’s not a big deal. TK storms out because that’s how he copes with things at this stage in his emotional development, and leaves some hurtful words for Carlos as a parting gift. Not a mature way to handle things, but in a later scene with Owen and Gwyn it’s revealed how hurt TK really is. “I wanted him to tell them who I was and what I mean to him,” TK says, all dejected. “Maybe he did. Maybe we are just friends.” Because Alex also told TK "I love you", and then cheated on him. TK’s lingering Alex trauma bubbles back up; fuck not again, not another man who says ‘I love you’ to my face but then hides me and doesn’t really want forever with me, even though that isn’t really what’s happening with Carlos.

If it wasn’t for Alex, TK probably wouldn’t have been half as upset by any of this and would have been more receptive to hearing an explanation, but Carlos doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.

It’s just such good conflict. They’re both right, and they’re both wrong. They’re both operating from places of extreme hurt that isn’t the other person’s fault, and they’re both operating from places of not understanding the extent of what the other is going through. And in the scene where they make up you can see how much love there is and how much they both really want to understand the other better. It’s such a beautiful way to love someone, to say to each other “let me meet you where you are and love you the way you need to be loved, even if it’s different from how I need to be loved.”

[wannabanauthor]

I need a BuckTommy slow burn fic:

I want them to be their current selves, but in a slightly AU way.

I want them to become friends, with Tommy being open about being gay, and Buck is “straight” but a good wing man.

I want them to become such good friends that it borders on romantic but they don’t realize it yet.

Then Tommy gets a serious boyfriend for a few months, and while Buck is incredibly supportive, something about it feels wrong to him. The boyfriend is a great guy, but Buck has to force himself to smile whenever he sees the guy with Tommy.

But then Tommy and the guy breakup, and Tommy is devastated in a way. Like he does the whole wallowing breakup thing with ice cream and romcoms while he cries.

Buck visits him to cheer him up, then takes him out for a night on a friend/platonic date.

Then at the end of the night, Tommy is feeling better and is happy that Buck cheered him up.

When Buck takes him back home, Tommy offers him a drink before he goes, as a thank you for cheering him up.

Buck accepts, but once he steps into Tommy’s house and sees him smiling once again, Buck feels drawn towards him. Tommy is just about to show Buck some ice cream that pairs well with the beer they’re drinking, and Buck walks up to him and kisses him.

Tommy kisses him back but is shocked.

Buck whispers “I want you.” And kisses him again. It turns into a make out session in the kitchen before Buck takes Tommy’s hand and leads him to Tommy’s bedroom.

They have sex, and it’s so slow and emotional, that Buck doesn’t know quite how to handle the intensity, so even though he’s worn out afterwards, he gets no sleep.

Things are awkward in the morning, and neither of them know how to react to each other. Finally, Tommy decides to be the mature one and talk about it starting with “So about last night.”

Buck blurts out, “It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t it want to.”

“What if I want it to?” Tommy asks.

Buck says that he didn’t think that far ahead because all he knew is that he wanted Tommy in some way and was happy with whatever he got.

So Tommy kisses Buck, softly and for awhile, and asks him out. Buck says yes.

I need this to be 20k+ words, please and thank you.

I guess this can be a BuckTommy prompt. Calling all my BuckTommy FanFiction writers! Please write this!

[eddiediazismyhusband]

i think some people get so lost in this idea of eddie being this loner loser type that they don’t realize that eddie diaz does in fact have game— he just doesn’t want to

like this man has had women flirting with him COUNTLESS times yet he always brushes it off/ignores it bc he’s not interested

just bc his three serious relationships have failed due to his inability to commit to them over his husband doesn’t mean that he couldn’t go out and pick up people if he wanted to…. again, he just doesn’t want to.

we also have to take into account that ana and marisol both stayed with this man FARRRRR too long for him to not have any bedroom skills

like that man treated both of them like glorified babysitters yet they both stayed with him and actively chose to be w him/were upset when the relationship ended…. you cannot tell me that their bedroom activities were not clouding their judgement there.

eddie canonically is a crippling people pleaser due to his desire to please his family…. he quite literally gets off to pleasing people in bed which is why he probably hasn’t realized he’s gay; he thinks that he has a duty to please his partners, and take no pleasure for himself (although his pleasure comes from giving pleasure) so the fact that he ‘seems’ satisfied in these relationships is clouding his judgement of what he actually wants bc he thinks he doesn’t deserve what he wants (and also comphet pressuring him into thinking that what he wants is wrong but that’s another topic)

to say he’s bad in bed bc he’s “solely focused on the pleasure of his partners” is just blatantly incorrect…. whether he’s good in bed or not is objectively about whether he leaves his partners satisfied, which we know CANONICALLY he does…. im not saying he’s a fucking freak in the sheets who’s the best they’ve ever had, but you can’t negate the fact that there is evidence within the plot that people find eddie very attractive, and that the few times he’s been with someone onscreen (in this case shannon and marisol since we never saw anything of the sort onscreen between eddie and ana), they have canonically been very satisfied and pleased with eddie’s prowess to the point where shannon came back to him solely for sex, and eddie was having to run and hide from marisol to avoid having sex.

this man canonically fucks, and getting into the psyche of his own sexuality/pleasure isn’t the point here- the point is that objectively in canon eddie is found to be very attractive, snd has left his partners very satisfied, so because of that you can’t say he’s objectively bad in bed or that he has no game.

bc again: just bc he doesn’t accept the advances doesn’t mean the advances aren’t there.

(also this idea that eddie has zero friends when he quite literally plays poker w a bunch of the lafd outside of work ASIDE from the 118 and has also been shown to be friendly with multiple parents from chris’s school…. i understand that we love to hc eddie as this loner boy w no friends, but objectively he has a lot of friends in his life, he just choses to trust his 118 family the most— that doesn’t negate his other friendships though.)

anyway, i just think s lot of people don’t quite get the point of an object question; when you try to start expounding on the fact that eddie subconsciously isn’t deriving pleasure from sex as proof that he has no game and is bad in bed when onscreen we’ve seen that sex leaves both him and his partners satisfied as well as people flirting w him left and right your argument is teetering more into headcanon territory rather than what we’ve actually been shown— headcanon is one thing in fics but as far as what we’ve seen, eddie canonically IS the sexy macho guy he tries to be— even if he subconsciously wishes he could be that for buck.

(again, don’t take this as a personal attack if you disagree: i just think we as a fandom have a tendency to ignore objectivity at times for questions like that poll and there are some moments where digging deeper than surface level either isn’t required, or delves too far into nuance that you start to negate the entire reason the question was asked to begin with which was asked objectively)

[crafty705]

Hello mfb tag it is Monday. I could’ve tried to refine this block of text more but it’s a Blorbo Essay and I’m posting it on tumblr (the piss on the poor website) so whatever I type may be misinterpreted anyways. I did try to maintain a formal tone and punctuation throughout writing (which is probably unnecessary when all you’re doing is arguing that your gay ship is gay) so this might just end up coming off as pretentious but oh well. It’s for the bit trust.

Anyways, it’s been a little over a year since I’ve tried jotting down the way I perceive the masaking dynamic, so what better time to will these thoughts into being coherent? Mostly, I would like to expound a bit on the appeal of their dynamic and trace back what drew me to them in the first place.

When I first rewatched Metal Fury, particularly the scenes these two had together, the thing that struck me from the get-go (though it doesn’t technically fall far from the other rivalries introduced in this show) was their near-instant evolution from strangers to friendly rivals. So what allows them to get along so well?

They antagonize each other throughout the first time they meet, yet are quick to band together to talk smack to a common enemy (jigsaw lmao). They tend to draw the same conclusions in most situations, even when they’re competing. They are so inexplicably on the same wavelength certain characters have wondered if they are innately related to each other.

Trope-wise, they’re pretty much your average sports anime-esque meatheads. At a glance, the lack of mental bandwidth they exert on a daily basis for anything other than their “sport” of choice (beyblade, in this case), combined with their untenable egos, archetypes them as goofy side characters that play off of each other and are rarely seen apart. As a viewer, you wouldn’t expect them to be emotionally mature or exhibit awareness of their surroundings. In fact, this assessment is true almost all of the time. They fire off petty insults at each other and can’t seem to agree on the littlest of things, and they often cause a scene others around them then have to contend with (re: destroyer dome property damage, their dialogue before the start of the beyster island championship).

Yet, their banter, though pointedly irritating to other characters in-show, is charming because it shows care for the voice of another person from characters who appear to focus on themselves a majority of the time. They constantly question and act judgey to each other’s opinions without it ever affecting their friendship negatively, even gaining understanding of each other in the process.

For a character like King, who had been outcast by those who misunderstood him in the past, a relationship where he has the opportunity to express himself without consequence is undeniably relieving. To phrase this in the most dramatic way possible, having a person who you are able to bare your honest self to and still have them want to remain beside you is the essence of human connection. Besides the two of them being notedly inseparable (hilariously, practically every appearance they have after their meeting involves them both in the same frame), how well they get along is definitely an appeal of their dynamic.

Additionally, it becomes clear King more than reciprocates the acceptance he receives.

To bring up how similar Masamune and King are to each other again, this similarity may also work against them. While it has become common for fans who enjoy one character to also enjoy the other, there are key differences that may not be immediately obvious that causes the audience to perceive one as the “worse version” of the other. It could be argued King hasn’t developed Masamune’s sportsmanship (having lacked the opportunity to do so), or that Masamune lacks wins in noteworthy battles (let’s think critically about the common thread in this particular case). Indeed, one such point of contention is that while they are both outspoken about their abilities, only one is really able to “back it up”.

From an audience or outsider’s perspective, there is nothing besides their similar personalities “tying” King to Masamune as a rival or equal. It could be said, in a sense, that they achieve such different results with equitable levels of raw power (due to the star fragment, from a meta standpoint) that Masamune could not or even should not be considered King’s equal in the first place.

Yet, what we as viewers learn from their interactions is that talent isn’t everything. Results aren’t everything. Yes, Masamune often bites off more than he can chew, and at times aspires to goals that he can’t quite reach. Yes, it is important to back up your yapping every once in a while. However, even if victory itself is validating, failing still isn’t the be-all end-all because what defines one’s character is not the end result, but their efforts and their sportsmanship. Yes, you may not be able to control fate, you may fail even if you try your best, but you can control how you react to it, and continue to work towards bettering yourself each day.

I believe such a philosophy aligns beautifully with both their character arcs as well as the entire season of Metal Fury/4D. Despite how some may perceive Masamune’s overbearing ego, he does still train, he does still work towards being the best that he can be, and he does extend a hand to his fellow bladers and is capable of acknowledging and celebrating their achievements (re: among others, the literal instance from episode 119). As a result, Masamune is given reassurance of his value to those who have already bonded with him through beyblade, assuaging his guilt over not being able to contribute in a critical moment.

Going off on a tangent here because as you can imagine, I also have many thoughts on how the infamous episode 128 “sunrise scene” plays out in particular.

King’s defense of Masamune after his loss on beyster island stands out both because it is at a moment where no one else sees Masamune’s hurt feelings as a priority (and in the greater scheme of things, it really isn’t), and because it is completely justifiable. Even if Chris is strong, and his victory was fair, and most importantly, they kind of need him so the world doesn’t end, King cannot seem to find it in him to ally with this stranger who blatantly condescends the earnestness that preceded the first bond he made with a fellow blader.

In the aftermath of Ryuga’s departure, the group is debating on how to proceed with the loss of another potential ally, and Masamune is visibly pretending to be fine due to his own contribution to that loss.

King, who cares single-mindedly about the experience gained from a battle after being deprived for so long, who was finally able to meet like-minded individuals through the activity he is most passionate about, takes evident notice of this moment of vulnerability, and understandably takes it upon himself to uplift Masamune. He assures Masamune that because of their common goal, because of their shared identity as bladers, because of how fun it is to compete with an opponent like him who gives it their all, he hasn’t stopped viewing Masamune as a rival and equal. He accepts Masamune, imperfect though he is, and never stops believing in his ability to be greater than he currently is.

Interestingly, though King believes himself to be “the best”, he never lets that stop himself from wholeheartedly competing with Masamune. He wants Masamune to believe in himself just as much so they can keep beyblading with their all, together. Perhaps this is in part due to ego as well, that any opponent he has deemed worthy must therefore meet such an expectation (lest his judgment be proved wrong). However, this sense that he wants Masamune there with him, striving for the top, to be “better than” him, shows that he isn’t expressing his ego maliciously—he does not want Masamune to second-guess blading beside him. It is a drastic shift from the self-sufficiency and loneliness pushed upon him by his talent in the first place. Esoterically, because bladers historically have communicated through blading, King has found someone worth getting to know.

Masamune’s ultimately positive reaction to this assurance of their rivaldom is appealing as well. He accepts King’s belief in him and the proposal to continue being his rival as he previously accepted (and reflected) King’s overbearing attitude and strength as a blader. And really, what more can anyone ask for?

[wendytestabrat]

cartman did absolutely nothing wrong in season 20 (FROM THE VAULT [2020])

Honestly I feel like I’m the only one who felt bad for Cartman after everyone broke his stuff for no reason. Like ik Cartman has done a lot of shitty stuff in the past, but he didn’t do anything to deserve that. He was trying his best to make changes & become a better person in that season in his own stupid way even tho he doesn’t rlly know how to do that but at least A for effort. I really feel like the only reason why they had Cartman go through that dramatic character change that season was so they could show how shitty Kyle has gotten in comparison LMAO. Kyle is rlly becoming just as toxic as Cartman, he’s the one that falsely accused Cartman of being the troll and got everyone in the school all worked up and riled up over it (he’s always been the one that’s trying to turn all his classmates against Cartman) so that they’d break his stuff. Kyle vowed to take down the troll no matter what, but stopped caring about it once he found out Cartman didn’t do it even though his OWN DAD was the one who was the troll, like how could he be so clueless about that. It didn’t even take him until like one of the last episodes of the season to figure that out bc all he was focused on was Cartman. Heidi sucks, but I get why Cartman fell for Heidi in s20, and why he felt like he was losing Kyle. Cartman made some really good points to Kyle about how much he had changed, and how he wasn’t acting like himself. Heidi was very similar to Kyle, she was just as smart, and she actually did care about finding out who the troll was and making positive changes and all that shit. While Kyle on the other hand was just being a hypocrite, he was just acting like he cared about this shit when really all he wanted was an excuse to fight with Cartman. That’s why he was so petty & jealous over Cartman & Heidi’s relationship and couldn’t just accept that they were together. Even when they were doing good things together, like trying to track down the troll, which is something Kyle should support bc he allegedly cares about this stuff he still decided to be an asshole and threatened to share Cartman’s entire internet history. That’s why even when he was AGAINST the wieners out stuff before, and wanted to support the girls, he pulled a 180 and then joined Butters bc Cartman wouldn’t help him take down Butters, & he saw Cartman & Heidi together. Kyle was NOT acting like himself at all in s20, he was completely sexually confused abt his feeling for Cartman and the first 2 episodes of s20 set it up perfectly by calling Kyle a little gay boy and then having him cry over Cartman.

update 2024: ok i feel like this rant was wayy ahead of its time bc i was like one of the first people to point out how kyle was starting to become more toxic than cartman, yet the normies didn’t start to notice it too until all the kyle bullshit that happened in s24 lol.

[musingsfromthelagoon]

This is what I personally think about the characters in Buffy and their queerness/relationship to queerness because I don’t want to have to get out of bed yet:

Buffy: is bisexual but has a bunch of internalized homophobia for kind of a long time, mostly aimed at herself. Had a fuck ton of homoerotic relationships in middle and high school but considers them to be very close friendships and bristles at the idea of anything romantic that might have played a role in them. She doesn’t really have to confront her queerness until she meets Faith. Eventually comes to terms with herself, but it takes a while.

Oz: Oz is definitely queer but I don’t think he really thinks about it much. They’re just sort of ready to be attracted to whoever, and when it happens he’ll just be like, well okay. Guess I like that person. Also they use they/he and are nonbinary. I think of them as the kind of character who could be transmasc or transfemme or neither and it doesn’t really matter—they’ve definitely got some kind of weird fucked ho gender thing going on.

Giles: also bisexual, realized in college and just accepted it about himself without really thinking or talking about it too much. Probably knew that all of his adopted children are queer and laughs at them privately for not figuring it out yet.

Angel: bi but I don’t want to talk about him because he is annoying.

Spike: bisexual!!!! Adamantly so!!! Full of transgender angst. Could be genderfluid, a trans man, non-binary, any combination thereof, I’m not sure. Not cis though. Definitely not cis.

Xander: UHHHHHHHHG. Bisexual but homophobic and biphobic, and more vocal about it than Buffy ever would be. Says no homo to an excessive degree. Anya tries to help him accept himself and he does not listen. Goes to great lengths to prove that he is straight.

Forrest: Gay. So gay. Madly in love with Riley. I wish he hadn’t died.

Drusilla: bisexual and transfemme. I love her so much. So so so much.

Faith: obviously bi I don’t even really have to talk about this one.

Dawn: straight. Uhk.

Willow: lesbian but I refuse to say that this invalidates her relationship with Oz who again is nonbinary and chill with Willow being a lesbian but also being attracted to him.

Tara: GAYGAYGAYGAYGAY.

Anya: Anya is omnisexual. She probably has a preference for guys but sort of like Oz, is happy to accept whatever attraction comes her way.

Cordelia: I think that Cordelia is asexual but still happy to have sex when she wants to. Also she is autistic. Oh! So is Anya. And Oz and Spike have ADHD. If anyone was wondering.

Basically everyone is gay.

[until-another-one-comes]

Serial killer Francis headcanons part 6:

This is just my general headcanon for Francis’s body type. He’s a tad on the softer side but has strong arms and feet from all the manual labour he’s done. He also has strong hands enough to choke someone to death or to pin them down.

If you had to compare which of these is more deadly, Francis himself or his doppelgängers? It’s actually Francis. He knows how to fight against a doppelgänger or two (and is likely to murder someone and frame his handiwork on them). If Francis had to fight a group of them, he’s cunning enough to plan his own escape or kill all of them at once.

I would say Francis is an equal opportunity killer. Your gender, race, sexuality and age doesn’t matter. He hates the human race equally and would still slaughter you if you so much as cross him.

Francis has a hard time accepting a compliment or receiving acts of kindness. It was so foreign to him. The last time he remembered that feeling was from his mother. But that was a long time ago and she betrayed him so it’s all meaningless to him now. He doesn’t understand why anyone would want to be nice to someone as worthless as he is so he’ll be left in a flustered state for a while. yet a little fuzzy feeling does linger in him for a long time. If the same person continues to be kind to him, chances are Francis might warm up to that person.

Francis isn’t looking for love yet deep down he’s hiding his extreme sadness and loneliness. He constantly denies this though due to his misanthropy mixed with his feelings of self hatred and worthlessness. He believes no one could truly love him due to how depraved and hideous he is.

Even though he gets compliments from cheating housewives (that he murdered), Francis can see right through their bullshit. They’re just buttering him up, using him as an escape from their boring marriage. This is another reason why he murders them. He hates them because it hurts him more to only be seen as an object, a piece of meat and not an actual person that can be loved.

It’s hard for Francis to fall in love but the type of person he falls for is someone who’s genuinely kind to him (exhibit A: Nacha). If he does get too deep into his feelings and the relationship, Francis will become an intense yandere for the newfound person he loves. As I mentioned in my last headcanon, Francis will become insanely in love with Nacha if their relationship persists. There’s one person who genuinely cares for him in the world and he’s not gonna lose them. He’ll place all his self worth onto his soulmate and will legitimately die without them.

If said soulmate reciprocate Francis’s love the same way he does, he has no qualms kidnapping them so he can force them to love him. He’ll play his role as the loving husband for his soulmate even if they don’t love him the same way.

For his sexuality, it’s unclear but I think Francis leans towards demisexual. It doesn’t matter if the person Francis falls in love with is a man, woman or whatever. As long as they genuinely love him, that’s all that matters to him. He doesn’t mind being gay given how it’s 1955.

As you can tell, Francis is extremely touch starved yet a bit touch averse. He’ll recoil at first if someone dares to touch him without his permission but he’s so deprived of affection that he wishes for a hug but he can’t get that.

He has mixed feelings towards Anastacha. On one hand, she was simply a byproduct of a failed relationship between him and Nacha. He had to let his past go because Nacha doesn’t let Anastacha near him. Though he’s not above killing his daughter and her mother if they dare cross him again. To some degree, he does see Anastacha as an extension of him but not enough for him to project his self-hatred onto since she doesn’t deserve that. On the other hand, he does feel a slight pang of longing and guilt for bringing his daughter into this world unexpectedly. There’s a small part of him that does want to be a part of Anastacha’s life and he wanted to try to be a father figure to her. But as you already know, he makes minimum wage so he can’t provide for her. And he knows he’s a horrible human being so why should he be a father. He believes he’ll end up like his father. All he could do is watch from afar. Despite how he never got to be there for his daughter, he can see that Nacha and Anastacha are doing just fine without him, which makes him feel sad but relieved, though he doesn’t linger on that and lets them be.

That’s all for now. There will be much more for him. There’s something about tragic characters that I love writing about.

- Yeah that makes sense, I always think he's more so on the average side in terms of build but has slight muscle because of his job.

- LMAO equal opportunity killer 😭. 'Yeah idc about your race or sexuality I hate everyone the same'

- That is unfortunately very common among victims of abuse sadly

- Not me wanting fucked up Milkbread with yandere Francis now

- Ahhhh my sad, fucked up little blorbo

[kaiunkaiku]

bnha hurt/comfort alphabet challenge (i know, new content, i'm shocked too), letter w: worry

fandom: bnha

summary: in which hizashi comes home to a scared little girl and a hurting husband.

warnings: angst, chronic pain, hero life bullshit

happy reading, please enjoy!

Hizashi has just introduced the next song – Toxic, because he feels like being a stereotypical Americanized gay man tonight, and it’s his show – when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He frowns as he pulls it out and pushes himself away from his equipment with a kick to the table. It’s late so the kids should be sleeping, and Shouta is at work, and no one else has any reason to call him while he’s on air. So to say he’s a little confused would be a bit of an understatement. 

That confusion morphs into concern as soon as he takes a look at the caller ID; Hitoshi should be either asleep or studying for that first aid course he's taking, or perhaps training though Hizashi hopes he isn’t – his ribs are still healing from a mission last week –, so for him to be calling has Hizashi immediately afraid that something is wrong with Eri. Hitoshi isn’t really one for phone calls in the first place, preferring texting much like Shouta does, and therefore Hizashi thinks he’s fairly justified in his worry. 

He makes sure his microphone is off, and taps the screen to accept the call. 

“Hey there,” he greets, trying to keep the concern from his voice. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t really succeed. 

It turns out not to matter, though, because evidently all his worry is totally and completely one hundred percent warranted. 

“Hi,” Hitoshi starts, and Hizashi can immediately tell that something is wrong even before Hitoshi says anything else – his tone is tight, distress easily identifiable through the phone even though he’s obviously trying to conceal it. “Sorry, I know Hands Up isn’t over yet, but can you come home?” and Hizashi does not need to be told twice. His heart throws itself against his ribcage and he’s reaching for his backup song list before he even realizes he’s doing it.

“I can absolutely do that, why, what’s wrong? Is Eri okay? Are you okay? The cats?” he lists, frantic enough that he can recognize it in his voice and under his skin. He spots a notebook and shoves it into his bag. 

“What? Yeah, I’m fine, the cats are fine, Eri is, well, she’s upset but I think I have a handle on that? I put her on a video call with Denki, should distract her for a while,” Hitoshi explains, but the tension in his voice hasn’t gone anywhere. Hizashi thinks the words should make him less anxious, but somehow the dread pooling in his stomach just expands. 

“What’s going on, then? Wait, why is Eri upset? Did something happen?” Hizashi presses on his way out of his studio as he flags down his assistant and hands them his work iPad with the playlist pulled up. They raise a brow, questioning, but take the offered device. Family emergency, Hizashi mouths, gesturing at his phone, and they nod in understanding before turning towards his studio. It always sucks when he can't do song requests through the night, but that's why the backup list exists, and there's a prerecorded apology that's usually played when he has to take off.

“It’s, uh. Dad came home about fifteen minutes ago.” 

continue on ao3

[thesapphicsoldier]

Everyone always talks about how Robin and Will should meet and connect in season 5, and yes I definitely agree, but—

Imagine her meeting Mike. Her seeing his closed off feelings. Her seeing the way he looks at Will. Her seeing how defensive he gets at the mere idea of him being intimate with a man, even if it wasn’t intended to be romantic (“we’re friends, we’re friends!”). She seems him. Really sees him. She knows what it was like to be young and in denial. In fact, she was about his age when she finally started to connect the rainbow colored dots, and things would have been a hell of a lot easier if she had someone to talk to it about.

So she gets close to him. Or at least, she tries to— Mike is a bit suspicious of her constantly running up to him or inserting herself into his conversations (and well, Robin isn’t the best at talking to people). But eventually, Mike warms up to her a little. He starts talking to her about dnd and even vecna, and if Robin were being optimistic, she’d say they’re friends. After awhile Robin starts dropping hints about her sexuality. (“Oh my god, Phoebe Kates is so hot, don’t you think?” - “I guess so— wait, you think Phoebe Kates is hot?” - “Hell yeah, are you kidding?!) Though it’s the 80s, she’s not scared. She’s talking to someone like her after all, even if he doesn’t know it yet.

But Mike doesn’t seem to be getting it. So she tells him about her crush on Vickie. At first he’s confused and asks her if Vickie is short for Victor or something like that, she tells him no. Vickie is the cute redhead that helps make the sandwiches. He’s shocked to say the least. He stands there wide eyed and mouth agape for about two minutes. Robin wonders if he’s going to run away or make some sort of “you’re going to hell” retort (she wouldn’t blame him for it, she went through that phase in elementary school). But he just… starts talking. Asking questions. Normal questions, like “how’d you guys meet?” or “are you gonna ask her out?” Robin is surprised about how casual he’s being. She had fully prepared herself for a meltdown or for him to not speak to her for weeks, but he just acted… normal. Maybe that’s what he wanted to do. To pretend, even just for a second, that being gay wasn’t such a bad thing. That it wasn’t satanic or disgusting or the cause of diseases, it was just normal. That he’s normal.

Weeks go by as the group tries to figure out how to defeat vecna, once and for all. Robin continues to tell Mike about Vickie, eventually telling him how they’re now happily dating (which she could tell Mike tried his best to not smile at). Mike doesn’t tell her about himself though, and she doesn’t expect him to. The road to self acceptance is long and rocky, with lots of bumps and turns on the way— and sometimes you never reach the end of it, though you hope with all your heart you do. Robin just wants him to know that being himself is okay, and that if he ever needs her, she’s right here.

It was a cold and rainy afternoon when Mike found Robin in the shed, visibly sweaty and conflicted. He looks left and right about fifty times before he mutters, barely above a whisper:

“Hey Robin?”

“Hm?”

“How did you know you were… different?”

Robin simply smiles, the warmest she possibly could, and tells him to sit down.

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/760976576365101056/i-dont-know-if-rm-megan-is-single-or-not-but-if

I know that many people associate Namjoon with terms like “daddy,” “father,” “papa,” and often focus on his masculine appearance and deep voice, which are generally tied to straight stereotypes and heteronormativity. However, I’ve always felt like Namjoon isn’t strictly straight—nor do I think he’s gay. To me, he gives off a bisexual vibe, with a preference for women.

This isn’t a theory or something I have evidence for, just a personal feeling based on how he presents himself. I can easily imagine him having dated men at some point, maybe even being in a steady relationship with one, as part of figuring out who he is. He strikes me as someone who is very open, flexible, and accepting, especially in his private life. He seems to approach things—including his own identity—in a very welcoming way, which I mean in a positive sense.

Additionally, his family doesn’t seem like a typical conservative or conventional Korean family. They come across as modern, open-minded, and supportive. I feel like growing up in that kind of environment might have allowed him to freely explore and understand himself, without feeling the need to suppress anything. He seems like someone who allowed himself the freedom to experience life without holding back.

Hi anon!

I love Namjoon and how he sees his place in the world.

He made a huge impact on me when I was just a very new Army and didn’t really know the guys yet by his festa 2022 talk.

I actually have very little thoughts on his sexuality. I never really took the time to look into it. I think he’s very openminded though and has a great understanding of the world. I hope he gets to live peacefully and without having to think about the rules of the world.

[dekusleftsock]

I have to say that your post on Deku peddling a lot of casual homophobia and toxic masculinity across the manga, was really interesting and eye-opening. I mostly agree with you, except the part about bkdk supposedly being the endgame for this particular arc. I've had similar thoughts about how gender and sexuality is portrayed in MHA, for quite a while, but the conclusion I always came to, was more along the lines of "Reject Masculinity; Embrace Lesbianism". As I've just stumbled upon this blog, I must therefore ask: how do you feel about transbian Deku hcs?

Oh it’s so fun! Trans lesbian deku is awesome, I love all trans hc’s so much.

Unfortunately though, I am also a bkdk shipper and my opinions in that post are about my genuine thoughts that, yes, deku is a cisgender gay man, and there’s no real problem with that. Welcome to my blog though!

A lot of my posts do focus on bkdk and togachako (while mainly togachako for the past couple of months), so that’s just your fair warning! If you aren’t into that it’s like… kind of impossible to avoid that shipping on my blog. I often post fanart and metas/shitposts that focus on those two ships solely.

And I will say, I feel like the notion of “rejecting masculinity”, especially as a trans masculine person myself, does often fall down anti trans rhetoric and spaces, as lesbianism and masculinity aren’t even necessarily contrasting things to be. NB is an identity that can be stretched so far into so many spaces that it’s kind of hard to reject masculinity OR femininity without well… falling into exclusion.

I’m not sure if that’s what you mean though, however I do enjoy most if not all trans hc’s because they are amazing and so interesting when people really dive into a characters internalized issues having to do with that identity. Transgenderism is so maleable and can easily apply to so many different types of characters, even giving them a deeper sense of depth.

Canonically though, I think I like Izuku how he is. Because everyone has issues, and while cis men have obviously had a lot of stories where they are the center of attention, told from their perspective, Izuku is unique in his own right; because how often do we really see a short, androgynous, emotionally expressive, cis male character deal with things like the insecurity of crying, the unknown of if your identity (if it really is your identity) will be accepted in spaces where you have been pushed to be with, from your perspective, a platonic female friend? Because yes, izuku WAS bullied—rather indirectly with Katsuki sure—but the little comments made about being a crybaby, being creepy, being weak, they all build up. They build and build until, hey, the bully isn’t there anymore. In fact, the bully is you.

And really, I see why people don’t necessarily pick up on Izuku of all people having masculinity issues. When the viewer sees a momma’s boy who’s relatively soft and empathetic, they register someone who vaguely understands themself. They see him be self sacrificial and think, “that’s a man who goes against masculine stereotypes, so obviously he doesn’t struggle with fitting into the stereotype himself!” Because it’s not what we’re usually shown in our every day media.

A man with masculinity issues is someone who is SUPER masculine—he’s super buff, he screams a lot, he has anger issues, he—oh wait I’m describing Katsuki.

Yet, in reality, Katsuki actually DOESNT! Not as much as Izuku does anyway. In middle school? Sure, most definitely. He registered weakness and refused to accept himself, therefore his masculinity. The anger issues build and build on each other… except for the fact that we’re forgetting the key here.

Katsuki grew up.

Katsuki HAD to grow up because the way he expressed these anger issues (that I will say, izuku also shares, the crying is literally a symptom of that in a lot of cases) was much more prevalent. It stopped him from truly growing, and when he was humbled he was able to see all the mistakes he was making. And slowly but surely, he apologized. He sacrificed. He started to really, truly, care.

He always cared of course, seeing as he cared enough to try to stop deku from getting into UA, because he thought he was a threat. Hell, after the entrance exam at their first day of UA, he genuinely thought Izuku had enough heroics in him to make it past the entrance exam! He didn’t think Izuku even NEEDED a quirk to get in. He’s always believed in him.

Was that expressed through his insecurities? Yes, because he was a dumb 15 year old.

But now that he knows he cares, that’s allowed him to reflect on himself, and on Izuku.

Izuku ofc will change, he will grow up, he will get that character development, but he has to have that realization that, oh, Katsuki really won’t hate him for anything. Ever.

Whether Izuku has internalized homophobia simply because Katsuki isn’t a girl, or because he’s afraid of Katsuki’s rejection at Izuku’s weirdness, well, I guess that’s up to your interpretation.

Mine is personally on the second side though.