#even longer if you take into account
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finished character sheet of my oc makki!
when I tell you this drawing took me 16 hours to finish- so fun (/s) and totally didn't face plant into my bed when I was finally done😭
#toasts art#drawing#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art#digital drawing#oc art#oc#original charater art#original character#character sheet#ibispaintx#i think this drawing actually killed me...yep im dead someone play spring day at my funeral#i did not account for how having 3 character drawing instead of just 2 and then their items would take so much longer omg im dead#am i planning on doing this 5 more times with my other band oc's even though this one made me into a zombie? yes👍#who needs torture when you have hobbies that you simultaneously love but also hate every single second of...hahaha#anyways pls enjoy my silly raccoon man i put many hours into this😭😭#toothache
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Really truly the problem with internet addiction is that I need it for all kinds of shit. I can't just quit it like I could smoking or drinking and not have alcohol or cigarettes in my house ever*, I need my phone. I need the internet. So I have my phone and need to actively fight not to grab it all the time.
Even worse when I do need to use it to look smth up, sure I can use extensions and stuff to block tumblr and twitter and youtube but sadly the internet (or even just my phone/laptop) is so full of distractions, I can't eliminate them all - like just now I wanted to look at a picture I'd taken of an info I needed but my pictures are also full of recordings of my cheerleading team so I got distracted looking at our past stunt successes and fuckups.
(*disclaimer since this is the piss on the poor site, I'm not saying internet addiction is worse or harder than alcohol or nicotine addiction, just pointing out this one difference. It might be more difficult in this one aspect, obviously there are a lot of aspects in which alcohol and nicotine are much worse (like them actually being physically addictive substances))
#internet addiction#smartphone addiction#they say accepting you're addicted is the first step to getting better but uh#They don't ever really tell you the second step for things you can't actually fully get rid of#maybe a work phone? work computer? So at least I'm not logged in to all the distracting sites?#And don't take pictures of anything not work/study related on that phone?#don't really have the money for an extra phone but y'know#And even then again. The internet is endlessly distracting. If nothing else I'd probably find some old forum about a topic idc about#instead of researching the thing i actually should research#I tried to make a separate profile on my laptop the other day and tried to like. Block a bunch of stuff on there#But windows is the worst and I couldn't figure it out#I think it's only possible with like? Windows family? So I'd need a whole second windows account? No thanks#Yes yes I should switch to Linux#I'll do Linux on my new pc that I've still not put together#but my laptop... I don't think it's worth the effort it's not gonna live much longer anyway
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making a grown up meal. had to stop for five minutes bc my eyes were burning from dicing up the onion. now sitting on the floor, ladle in hand, wilting away in hunger. why do grown up meals take so long?? mozzarella sticks never take this long to bake (heat up from frozen)
#recipe said 20 minute but that wasn’t enough to reach the internal temp needed. so who bows how much longer this could take. 2 min? 5 min?#10 min? who knows? certainly not me. pls i’m just a teenage girl. i can barely even dice an onion (i can’t dice an onion#half the pieces look passable to rest are incongrunetly shaped but oh well it all gets sautéed down anyways)#so many mistakes in these tags but well i can’t be held accountable for speeding ang grammar in my state. it’s a wonder i’m able to type at#all. you understand.#the fact i sped through and spelt ‘spelling’ wrong and it wasn’t even on purpose..#autocorrect was having a laugh at tht
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First 4 Artfights from this year! I'm gonna post them in batches for ease. First character is Daphne who belongs to barnacle_bess Second is Archie who belongs to UmbralDove Third is Lunetta who belongs to astrochromatic / @lucesdulces Fourth is Ires who belongs to panda-chantheking
I'm assuming these images wont be super high quality so feel free to head to my own artfight (brunneraleo) to have a look at them in full detail if you so desire
#artfight 2024#artfight#my art#illustration#team stardust#not my ocs#these were super fun#as i said i'll be posting them in batches of hopefully 4? but that depends on the amount i have by the end. for now i start with 4s and see#what happens by the end#i do have a bunch of others ready but I'll post them tomorrow#I feel that way things are more spaced out#if you have attacked me and i havent revenged yet just wait a little longer cause i'm doing it in order of when i recieved the attack and#i got way more than i originally anticipated. i even had a bunch of characters bookmarked thinking i'd only get a couple of attacks but ala#here we are struggling to keep up lmfao#5 to go though so not that bad. even if you're taking the “full illustrations” thing into account#good luck to everyone else
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This winter (the season not the me) has been unseasonably and terrifyingly warm, like it's 10 degrees (Celsius sorry Americans) out today and I'm reminded of an article I read in the news a couple years ago about how Canada was baking at twice the rate as the rest of the world and go 👁️👄👁️. In my youth snow where I live would be probably a foot high in the lowest snow areas of snow drifts and up to my waist (in adult height) in the high parts, and every year I see less and less snow ☠️☠️☠️
On one hand despite my namesake I actually loathe the season winter, I'm extremely sensitive to the cold and getting brain freeze because the wind is blowing against the direction you're walking in sucks booty hole. But like NO snow is extremely bad. VERY bad. Do not like living out the consequences of climate change because uh. Canada just does not seem to have winters like it used to and hasn't in years. It's like watching all the corn crops stop growing like they used to because the summers are so much dryer and hotter with the exception of last summer, which was almost wet enough to kill the corn with that. But they survived and grew bushy like they used to and it was kind of terrifying to acknowledge I hadn't seen a crop that good in years.
#winters ramblings#on one hand it genuinely is SO NICE to not deal with snow seriously it is SO inconvenient#beautiful to look at for sure REALLY stunning when its not literally blinding you but omG snow on roads#in the cities where i live leave HUGE slush puddles and the snow is so MUSHY and WET from cars#pulverizing it to a fine icy slush ready to SOAK your feet in freezing water. shit is inconvenience powder#but the environment is in NEED of the snow that is how this country works environmentally NORMALLY#but no now we have consistently spring weather and ever less snowy winters#although we did have a shitty winter a couple years ago but thats not exacy indicive of much when it goes against prior patterns#and also that shitty winter STILL wasnt the winters of my childhood. the snow was ABSURD then#and yes its because drifts were the size of ME but even the massive piles of snow plowed from side walks are so much smaller#IF theres snow pules at all weve BARELY got snow this year and none of it stuck!!#like damn its been gone long enough ill miss it exactly until i have to walk to a bus stop in it#when i was 13 ill never forget my parents making me return a movie in a snow storm and it took me FORTY MINUTES#to complete this task because the snow NO JOKE was up to my wasit the whole way and i was my full 5'6 then#the snow was HORRIBLE. and for reference how long it USUALLY takes me to walk uptown and back?#roughly 15 minutes round trip so it took longer to walk ONE WAY than it took me to do a round trip no snow#and thats the last time i remember having a REALLY bad winter on account of walking to school was ALSO hell if the sidewalk#wasnt already plowed and usually only the main streets got that and i was Middle Street so id be done when id be going HOME#but not when i was going TO school. that winter blew ASS butlike it was normal bring them back 😭😭
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I can't imagine Adrian Not picking up on the subtext re: Merrill being hesitant about the viability of their relationship, especially long-term, due to the Differences. I also can't imagine him not insisting on bringing it up/making the issue Text at some point, and thinking about how that conversation went is making me slightly ill.
#that man has like no self respect at all and im fully imagining it going down like#''hey i genuinely need to know where i stand with you. i want you to be my last serious relationship and i need to know if its that way for#you too. but also take into account that even if the answer is no my stupid ass WILL stick around until you no longer wnat me#so you have no reason at all to lie. your turn.''#THEY ARE SO NORMAL
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Well that's an awkward family reunion if ive ever seen one
uh anyway this is like a month old and im not 100% satisfied w/ how it turned out but i dont think i'm going to try and fix it up any time soon so yeah. that's all youre gonna get ig
#my art#my funky guys#the longer i look at this comic the worse it gets so im NOT going to look at it! and im gonna post it anyway!#anyway yeah. eeneks fight or flight response is to run away BUT if they cant do that then theyre gonna BITE. HARD#thats just how it is with them#something is dangerous/uncomfortable/doesnt align with your worldview? avoid it! and i you cant do that?#attack it whithout thinking#great strategy bestie. no notes. flawless plan. youre so smart and mature for that.#zora wasnt going to straight up kill a random kid tho i prommy...... she just wanted to scare and intimidate them into leaving her alone#what she didnt take into account was that the random kid in question is her missing little sibling with the panic response of a feral cat#god you can see that i was still figuring out how to draw zora when i drew this#right now she just looks a bit Wrong in some of these panels lol#also jeez this is so low effort. didnt even make any backgrounds. theyre in the fucking void#oh well at least it exists!! it looking a bit like shit is still better than it not existing at all!!!#i say through gritted teeth
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okay facing consequences of my actions
#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time#okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me#everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not!#so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers#I do Not have time#if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be#with other people around I kinda need that y#so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX#I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly#so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight#okay. fuck. I hate this#if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep#it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more#I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap#the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values#the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species#that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates#method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us#but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence#i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly#it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but#I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for#wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence#and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone#not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works#which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so#okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most#luke.txt
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tumblr stop suggesting me discourse post where people in the reblogs openly admit to not interacting with canon ever challenge failed
#i do not want to vague post and stir even more discourse#but#if you tell people in the fandom to leave it simply bc they complain on their own blog#about how almost the whole fandom depicts their fav characters in an blatantly ooc way#to the point they are completely different characters#while the chances are this person was longer in the fanom than you were alive#just#take a deep breath#we are all here to have fun with our fav fictional characters#but also take into account that many ppl do care about canon#at least how canon depicts those characers#because that is the reason this fandom even exists??#so telling ppl to leave the fanom bc some ppl dont care about canon and canon characterisation is just shitty#there would be no fandom without canon im so sorry#yes it was written by a person we now know is a terf#but some ppl did read the books when they were 12 and are still in the fandom 10 20 or 25 years later#this is actualy the fandom with the longest history than im participating in#and i am on the young side#but i have so much respect for all the older fans that where there when the magic was written
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everything around this housing shit basically boils down to: what I said would be fine 2+ years ago isn't necessarily what's fine now
#red said#we're planning on putting an offer in on a house.#we are 2.3k short on the deposit just now. 2 years ago i lent a loved one 1.8k which was earmarked to go in my ISA#my ISA adds 25% to everything in it when it comes to buying a house#but i can only put in £200 a month so it would take 9 months to dripfeed that £1800 in#actually it's a year cause i already put a minimum of £50 a month in#so back when i lent that money. i had 9 months of money still in my account dripfeeding in.#so i was like look. don't worry about it. it literally won't start affecting me until that money's already in the ISA.#but that was. over 2 years ago. the drip dried up in like mid 2022.#and so i am. upset. to find that the EXACT AMOUNT I'M SHORT BY is 2.3k. which is. 125% of £1800.#which i can't now do anything about even if it's paid back because i can't put it in the ISA in under a year.#which means I've functionally lost £450 and I'm gonna have to borrow the whole amount from other people#when i literally HAD THAT MONEY.#like it's fine. we will figure that out. and i don't regret making the loan. but it's just a mean trick the universe is playing#that I'm EXACTLY THAT AMOUNT SHORT#and it's kind of a kick in the teeth hot on the heels of Aimee's belief that saying 2.5 years ago under different circumstances#'I'll give you 2 months notice before i move' holds true now with no need to reassess#cause they're very different things but I'm both cases it's like. i said those things were fine THEN in a very SPECIFIC SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES#and now it's not then!!!! and circumstances are different!!!!#and good faith 'that's fine's in 2021 are fucking over me now because it's NOT 2021 ANY MORE AND IT'S NO LONGER FINE#it WAS legitimately fine and now it is NOT.
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hm. giving more thought to layla in relation to killing others bc the answer i gave off the cuff didn't seem exactly right. and it's very. grey, i suppose?
in general she doesn't go out of her way to kill people, sticking often to giving people second chances, even if the person doesn't seem repentant. but she also isn't going to spill tears for every person she kills (sorry ember, she's not as devoted to the idea as you, though she admires your dedication to it).
however there are times even she feels it's just not possible. with some she feels no remorse, such as with hulrun who she found vile in his zealotry, but in other cases it is. not smthing she takes any pleasure in doing, and is unable to let go of her sympathy for the person as she does it (wenduag....) to the point it haunts her long after it happened.
i suppose it's interesting in the two instances i can think off as the biggest examples of that scenario, with staunton and wenduag, she still tried to afford them some dignity or peace of mind in the end, like with allowing staunton to have a proper burial or with telling wenduag she was afraid of her potential in wenduag's last moments
camellia's death was an outlier, and is more an example in the position on having to keep making the calls on who lived or died affecting her negatively to the point she goes against what she would normally do in that situation, and then it haunts her because what if's will plague her afterwards.
does any of this make sense. no. i am tired and hungry
#ama mumbles#layla (oc)#lesson from this post: she is not a solider and she is being pressure cooked the longer in a position of authority she is#shes just a silly dhampir aha why are you making her a knight commander#also an interesting point to remember is she is a dirge bard! i know i make jokes about making skeletons dance and all that lol#but she has a genuine respect for the dead and the legacies they leave behind. she wont stop for every single dead but you know#she is not rlly leader but she also has very high charisma so ppl like to listen to her. unfortunately galfrey noticed this F#why do these deaths haunt you. bc i was incapable of saving them but perhaps they Could have been had smthing changed for them first#:for staunton and wenduag#versus bc i let my emotions get rid of someone i had come to trust over a span of a couple months in a single moment#i didnt even do it myself. for camellia#she Was going to let camellia live btw. but her emotions from wenduag were still running high alas#tho im sure she would have had to kill camellia later on anyway. and she would have felt bad about it then too tho probably. less so. lol#on discord i said she only kills in self defense which. is and isnt right necessarily. anyway i cant keep going on i need to eat#also another thin to take into account is she takes in the victims views into account!#playing through meeting hulrun before he is set on killing ppl on sight is i got to see his and embers convo#and it is so bad. but layla didnt kill him there bc ember said not to and her view on the situation takes precedent to her own disguist#anyway in her actual canon layla kills that man bc hes about to kill ramien she does not. get there early enough to have a calmish convo
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#…i literally finally broke this weird feud me n my brother have like I truly don’t understand him but I love him so much even though#he’s done terrible ass things n like. I’m not gonna sit there and think I’m above anyone telling them what they’ve done wrong like the guilt#you have to live w for ur actions is already enough like that doesn’t mean accountability but I literally physically can’t go to bed#with this on my conscience any longer like i will just pray every single day in ramadan for him and ask Allah to forgive him and forgive me#for being so petty but it’s like those that can’t hear must feel and I know I broke his heart bc he didn’t expect me to take it there#and for MONTHS at that but he knows now don’t ever try that shit w me ever again bc when I love you you never have to worry#but when I’m not you will feel misery n I really don’t ever resort to that but I had no choice and like all that anger was poisoning me#like you are fighting demons bigger than me my pride and ego isn’t above anyone or above God and I learned so much from this#idk if this will change anything I sorta felt like if I do this am I betraying myself for what he’s done but forgiving him frees me not him#so in a way I’m also responsible so I’m rlly proud of myself for standing up for myself with dignity n conviction I’ve dealt w enough pain#one by one I’m gonna let go of everything and free myself and live my life I’m not a victim
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i think ive finally come to a breakthrough on why i dont like isat all that much & its something much more fundamental than its clumsy execution or unsubtle juvenile writing like i think i simply just do not agree with its main point
#like. of course this is just my personal interpretation & takeaway from the game#but i dont think im far off in saying isats ultimate takeaway is that even at your absolute lowest#when you are the most cruel version of yourself possible that self isolates and lashes out and falls victim to vicious cycles of#self hatred that eventually even hurts your loved ones#despite it all you are still loved and cared for Always#because real friends and real family would not abandon you so easily#& like. while admittedly i think its a very very sweet message for its very specific target audience#and its one that i might even agree with in some capacity (depending on the angle its approached from)#its actual execution is just soooo. hopelessly facile & unnuanced & uncritical#i ultimately do not agree with what isat is trying to say at all bc of how its executed#and this really speaks to the heart of what i found so unsatisfying about the game wrt siffrins agency#and how at almost every turn it felt like he was being continually coddled and smothered and excused of any accountability#bc its not that siffrin is refusing to take accountability: its that its literally physically impossible for that to take place#the narrative is so completely revolved around him and focused on affirming him that the notion just simply becomes nonexistent#the matter of sif ''taking accountability'' dissipates entirely bc his suffering was so noble and extreme that we're meant to just#implicitly forgive him for his cruelty & instead accept his suicidality as enough recompense#the cast feels one dimensional by the end of the game bc of how their every action slowly becomes contingent on siffrins very existence#& kinda cease to exist outside of their primary role of comforting him#my immersion was broken once i could no longer suspend any disbelief that these characters can exist divorced from him#& the reason why isats timeloops ultimately felt so empty to me and failed to deliver any meaningful thematic punch#was bc as much as they were an overt representation of siffrin's suffering#theyre not meaningfully dismantled or confronted by siffrin themself at all#their dissolution hinges entirely on his friends taking action to pull him out of that dark place#and siffrin keeps on doing what he's always done-- nothing about his behavior has materially changed by the time act 5 rolls around#he just gets a mildly stern talking to and is asked to simply Not do that again.#like okay. its a sweet message. its affirming and attractive and i understand why its consoled as many people as it has#but like for Meeee. i just do not vibe with it#i just think the situation isnt afforded the degree of complexity that it seemed to try to initially approach
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just hung up on customer service for the first time ever in my entire life because this guy kept asking over and over and over again for my checking account number despite me giving it to him a dozen times. every time it was 'no no not that number it needs to be this number' 'i literally just gave you that number' ''no no a different number' *gives the exact number he asked* 'no no that's the wrong type of number'
#a full ten minutes doing that with him#i just said 'this is taking longer than paying back the scammers penny by penny. i'll go deal with that on my own. bye'#never before have they asked me for this type of number#i know because ive had to call capital one more than most people call ANYONE in their entire lifetime.#they never ask for a bank routing number. ever.#and finding it would take me a whole half hour of searching bc for some stupid fucking reaosn online banking#refuses to show your account and routing numbers at all.#not gonna waste a whole hour just for him to be like 'yeah so we cant do anything about this lol'#buh bye dude. not even sorry i was getting annoyed and short with you because you suck at your job#and this is like the only call ive gotten that was explictly recorded for quality assurance#which tells me he does this bad so often they need to monitor all his fucking calls#i again do not feel bad that i probably got him in trouble#bro needs to do his fucking job right. stop repeating the same two words over and over again while im asking you what the fuck you mean by#'show me your card number'#i have several cards. be specific.#especially when every card number i give you is wrong for some arbitrary reason you came up with on the spot#towards the end i was just like 'i really dont know what youre asking of me so im just going to throw any number i see at you'#and he just repeated the same shit again
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sugar daddy!gojo who cuts a deal with you one evening: for each orgasm he can pull from you, he'll transfer $1000 into your account. who has you on your back, sweat soaked and fucked boneless as he brings you to your eighth climax of the night.
who, instead of dirty talk, or talking you through it, he coos about all the things you'll get to buy with what you earn. "can get your nails done so pretty, oh and that bag i know you've been looking at baby," because cocky is an understatement and you're too cumdrunk to tell him to shut up even if you wanted to.
sugar daddy!gojo who pays your rent on the condition that he has his own key cut for him to use as he pleases. sometimes you'll come home to a new set of lingerie laid out on your bed. sometimes you'll open the door to flowers on the kitchen counter, other times it's diamonds.
who sometimes surprises you when you're home, too. he sneaks in as you're showering and gives you the fright of your life as he hops in with you. it's okay, though, because he makes up for the scare by dropping to his knees and eating you out with such scalding passion you barely notice the heat of the water against your skin any longer.
sugar daddy!gojo who takes you shopping with the intention of showing you off. of course people turn their heads when a pretty thing like you walks by with his hand dangerously low on your back. bags hang off his free arm full of gifts for you, who he loves spoiling more than life itself.
who can and will fuck you in the dressing room if you show him an outfit that he particularly likes. no one will notice, bar from the slightly sore gait you walk with for the rest of the day. pushes you against the full length mirror and fills you with his cum, makes you spend the rest of the day shopping with him leaking out of you.
sugar daddy!gojo who buys you a car despite always being the one to drive you around. he likes being behind the wheel with one hand inching up your thigh just a little higher at each red light. you swear he brought you your car just to show off, just to make the purchase obsolete.
who fucks you in it regardless of the fact that it never sees the road. parked in your garage it sees more movement than it ever would otherwise. he hardly fits even in the backseat, but it's worth it when his legs are splayed and you're bouncing on his cock like you have no regard for the expensive leather lined seats. not that it really matters if you mess them—he can buy another car.
sugar daddy!gojo who likes giving you your allowance in cash, just so he can have you on your knees with your lips wrapped around his cock as he lazily counts out the thousands he'll gift you. every time you make him feel particularly good, he reaches over into his safe and pulls out a few more notes to add to the pile—laughs when you moan around his cock at the sight.
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo smut#satoru gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#jjk x reader#satoru smut#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x you
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vvvv mini rant to delete later vvvv
Some people have really never gotten the ‘watch what you say on the internet cause that shit is forever’ or the ‘nothing on the internet is private even if it’s sold to you that way’ lectures that were drilled into me in the early 2000s.
I’m begging everyone to take a few seconds to reflect on what they type before hitting post. Maybe do some self-reflection too, especially if you’re about to post about a topic you know is controversial or sensitive.
Not to be victim blame-y, but it’s way easier to protect yourself then to prevent someone from being cruel and malicious. Especially, on the internet.
#vague posting to make myself feel better#and btw I’m not talking about like fandom discourse lol#I’m talking about posting slurs or shit that’s any form of -ism -ist -phobic#like it’s so so so easy to not do that shit but it’s still painfully common????#and I hate the discourse that what you’ve said in the past shouldn’t affect you#like at one point you said that with your whole chest#you gotta take accountability for that even if you’ve changed#like it’s amazing how many people like take it easier on you if you say#“yeah I said that shit and it was fucked up. I’ve since learned and grown and I no longer hold those views or support that behavior#but no one does that and are still ‘pikachu facing’ that people and upset or don’t trust them#I feel like is simple PR that people should know??#I’m not exactly a freaking rocket scientist over here but it’s pretty clear and obvious to me 🤷♀️#anywaaaaaaaays rant over#thanks for coming to my TED talk
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